TigerBelly - Ep 251: Papa's Pet Roach

Episode Date: June 24, 2020

Bobo wants to be Year of the Boar. Rudy comes from Wonderwomanland. Mama Kuhn corroborates the breakfast mouse story. Khaly is today's Steve Erwin. We talk Mayan stairs, dwarf poo, and snake neck time.  Vlogs and more content at: www.patreon.com/tigerbellyPlease support our sponsorsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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5, 4, 3, 2, 1. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. So I will show you guys videos. Actually, maybe we can put it up here, George. So Lenny, I had put up this kind of makeshift perch for him, and he was practicing his launches. He was practicing his mini flights across the balcony. So I knew that he was getting stronger. His wings still didn't seem fully stable. So I was like, yeah, it's going to be a couple more days. But then on Saturday, he took a leap of faith, and then he flew across their neighbor in front of

us, which is an empty house. And now he's on their balcony. And now we see him from our balcony, on that balcony. And I'm freaking out because I'm like, is he stuck there? Will I be able to feed him? And no one lives there. And no one lives there. So he basically went from a four seasons to an abandoned hotel. He needed to take a risk. Yeah, yeah. He needed to take a risk. There's no food there. You want to go check the house? No, well, Juliana did, which I made her do, was she started throwing food into their balcony just to make sure. Well, it's like, look, that's her protest. Anything for anything for Lenny. BLM protest, throwing chicken at a house. Yeah, but I think Lenny will be fine. Leonard will be fine. Leonard couldn't move. Leonard was like

limping. When we first saw Leonard, he was standing on the on the balcony on top of a black chair. Yeah. With his mouth out. And you know, in retrospect, what is he doing? And then Clyle was like, well, when birds, you know, they get hot, they open, you know, their mouths. Well, that's what I read that. That's not what he was doing now in retrospect. He was like, that's what he was doing. He was in pain. He was Leonard was in fucking pain. And we didn't read it right. And we spent a couple of weeks nursing that little fucker back to health, giving him fresh, free-range chicken and high quality cat food and oriental and oriental fruits. Not oriental. And we bought her a spa. And then when Leonard left, you know what came

to the door? A treehouse that she had ordered. Or Leonard put a fucking full blown treehouse. So we have a treehouse now for no fucking reason. Do you know how John Cusack and say anything puts the radio over his head outside the window of the girl he likes? That's the treehouse. So I want to do that with a treehouse. But you know, across the balcony, so Lenny can see me. I want to put the show him the treehouse that I just bought him that he never got to use. You think he'll fly back? I just hope that he's stronger today and he's able to hunt for himself because that's all I want. I want a wild thing to be to stay a wild thing. And I'm glad that he's he's getting stronger. But you know what, baby? We did like we did a good thing.

You know, I think I think there's there's got to be more of that going on in the world. Right. Because, you know, I don't think that if I wasn't dating Kalyla that if I saw a bird, you know, outside my door, I don't know if I would have done the same exact thing. I wouldn't, you know, call anybody. I think I would have done the best I could like give it like breadcrumbs because I would I don't even know know if I would like internet search things. I would just like improvise. Yeah, give him like a cup of Red Bull or something. Maybe, you know, I mean, they don't give it energy. You know what I mean? Or give it wings. Maybe it would give it maybe it would give it wings. Very logical. But

you know, or maybe like play music out there fly like an eagle into the sea or whatever anything, you know, I mean, to get it to get motivated. But you need to call. But we, you know, I've learned so much from Michael local here and and I'm so glad that Leonard has found found his wings. And maybe he'll grew up to be a lawyer. I hope so. I mean, or a doctor or something. Crazy. What if he's like a line where like 15 years from now, he brings his kids to like meet you guys? Oh, you know, that's not unheard of because crows. No, I don't give a fuck. I read that crows, when you befriend crows and they know who you are and they know that you've been like a kind neighbor that they bring you gifts, like little things that they think are gifts like like a rock or,

you know, cute things like that. Thanks for the rock. That's what I'd say back to the Leonard. Thanks for the rock, Leonard. You should see me on my balcony these days. Like, hi Lenny. She does a high Hitler. What kind of wave is that? She's like, I don't know if the crows Jewish. No, it's because I want him to land on my arms. Yeah. So that's the Leonard. Don't behave. It's fine. No, no, I are you kidding me? It's bittersweet because he's stronger, but I will miss my Lenny conversations. So Jules, Jules, let me tell you about Jules. Jules came here from a foreign land, a myth, a mythical island. Okay. You know, it's very, very, it's where Wonder Woman comes from.

Yeah, yeah, they have chariots and they have like horsies. We have cities. It's a metropolis. No, that city is in the Wonder Woman's. Yeah. Yeah, but she comes from that land, you know, but you know, they have instead of chariots, they have boba and boar meat. It's a beautiful place. I do have boar, though. I know. If you go to the San Diego Zoo, I remember years like a decade ago, I took a picture next to the Visayan wild boar. I felt Filipino pride because I was like, oh, we made it into the animal ranks. Yeah. By the way, why does boar sound better than pig? I'm the year of the pig, I guess, but whenever somebody goes, what year were you born? I go, 1971, they go all year of the pig. I go, boar. It's a boar. I always do that. I get defensive.

Interesting. It's a boar with a tusk that can fuck you up. Even in Game of Thrones, they never said, ooh, listen, I hunted a pig. I've hunted a boar. Right. Because a pig is a domesticated animal that you've always like associated as just like meat you eat, whereas a boar is something you've associated in your mind as something you hunt. Okay. Well, a boar too can fuck. Pigs can't fuck you off. But guess what pigs can do? Pugs love you and show you affection like a dog. Pigs are wonderful. Yeah, those are wonderful qualities. If you want to cuddle up with somebody, but you don't want to be equated with, you know, you know what I am? My year is? What is yours? This year. I'm the year of the rat, the wood rat. You don't have to say much more.

You don't have to say much. I love rats. Bingo, dead on. I'm the year of the snake. What do you think George is? A snake? You don't have to say much more. George is the year of the horse. Is there a horse? Rabbit. Oh no, I'm year of the goat. What a loser. Fucking. That's what you are. No, goats are great. Goats are scary. Have you not seen the movie The Witch? Goat eyes are scary. I love goats. I don't remember goat. So growing up, we had goats and they were treated as actual pet goats. So we had Kabia. Kabia had two little babies. Oh my. This is always a story. When you bring up an animal, she has a story. It's pretty amazing actually. Yeah, yeah. You'd bring up Caterpillar. When I was growing up, there was a Caterpillar

named Polloño. And Polloño, right, used to live on the edge of my fucking ear. He used to slide in and out of my ear and Polloño, you know what I mean? He died. Kalala is a modern day Steve Irwin, but of like LA. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I just lived in the land of Wonder Woman. So he had to go. If goats are so great, why do they sacrifice them all the time? Because humans sacrifice other humans, too. Did you not know? No, but it's always, you know, you look at apocalypto, right? That's how I say apocalypto, by the way. Apocalypto. Well, you look at apocalypto, right? They're always like bringing, they have to carry that fucking goat, probably 52,000 stairs. Why do I have Mayan temples so

fucking tall, by the way? Dude, Jurassic Park. Four stairs. That's fine. That's why I wouldn't want to be a fucking, you know, a Mayan king or whatever they had. I don't want to walk up the stairs anyway. Yeah, in fact, you're not a big stairs guy, huh? I have short legs. Yeah, but that's better. Long legs is harder. You know who doesn't like me? Brad Williams and fucking Peter Dinklage. Guys all hate stairs. We hate stairs. You guys got a club? Yeah, there's a lot of sweating going on. Yeah, I mean, we're using muscles that you don't have to use tall people. Wait, tall people are actually less agile, I think. Anyway, you're the goat. And yeah, and we love, we love all animals here on a TV here. But I also, why don't you even get into that?

I don't know, but Klala had a story about the goat. I know, Kabya, and then you dismissed it. Okay, so Kabya, Kabya was a, Kabya was our family goat. It's always us. And then Kabya had two babies, and then one belonged to me and one belonged to my sister. And that's it. We just had goats. And my dad, you know, I already told you my dad's a weird guy. Can I ask you though a question? I know I'm not interrupting. Yeah, go ahead. But did you grow up, just anything that you saw, you just named it? And it was a pet? No. Oh, there's a cockroach. Let's call it Davey or whatever it might be. You know, can I tell you a story about my dad and cockroaches? Here we go. Here we go.

Okay, here we go. Here's a cockroach's name. I am not making this up. I swear to you. So my dad was a really strange animal guy. Like he was one of those old men that would probably have like a fucking falcon on his shoulder just because he befriended it, you know, ages ago. But my dad had, and I'm not joking you, a pet cockroach. And it was just a random, scariest looking Filipino aerial cockroach. And that would have tea with him and his eat the little breadcrumbs with him every morning. And how about that? Hold on. That's not a cockroach. Babe, babe, babe, babe, babe. Hang on. Can we call my mom and tell you the story about a cockroach in the rat? Probably your uncle or something. I'm going to call my mom right now. Can I call my mom?

If your mom confirms this, this is crazy. Just don't tell her that we're on the show, okay? Because she won't speak. The cockroach is like Jean-Luc Picardi has Earl Grey tea and fucking scones with the dad. What the fuck does that mean? Wait, Helen, we'll see. Okay. It's a rat and a cockroach he was friends with. Just saying I'm having a conversation with Bobby. Oh my gosh. Are you sure your dad just didn't think it was a different cockroach? It was a different cockroach every time. He just assumed it was the same one. Do you think he's mentally ill? Oh, well, no. I think you don't think so? No, because you know, my dad wasn't mental.

Hi, ma. I'm having an argument with Bobby. Can you help me out with something? What? Go to a place where I can hear you better because you're cutting out. What? Go to a place because I can't hear you that well. You're cutting out. Oh, why? But go to a place with better service. What do you mean why? Okay. Can you hear me now? Okay, I can hear you much better. Okay, ma. Yeah. Ma, can you please explain to me that story with Papa's pet rat and pet cockroach that would have tea with him every morning? Oh my God. Yes. Okay, tell me. Okay, tell me. So Bobby can hear you. Oh, like every morning, you know, your Papa has his like

tea with just a cloud of milk and toast and butter when we get drunk. That's only his breakfast. And then every time you always have breakfast in bed, like in the bedroom, not in the dining room. So in the night, so he puts his breakfast on the night table on his side. And then the cockroach starts, you know, it's just only one cockroach and then the mice. And what just one mouse right? Hang on one mouse, right? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? He starts feeding it first time and then after that, we get used to it. So because every time we come around, he keeps a little bit of pieces, you know, just put in there and then the cockroaches scroll and get it. And then and then the mouse and the mouse also start doing it. So they kind of like,

they know exactly what time and they know that they can get something. Okay, and then what happened to the mouse, Ma? Why did Papa get upset about the mouse? Well, he doesn't know the real story. Okay, what's the real story? The real story is when he went with the boat, you know, because you were holding San Miguel beer. So my dad was, you know, he had a ship, right? A cargo ship. So he would go on a voyage for like two weeks. A cargo boat which holds like 60 to 20,000 liters of beer. So he went with the voyage, one of the voyages of the cargo boat. And then, you know, usually when you're Papa is away, it's always he first says that your little epee will come, you know, be your grandfather. My little epee is my grandfather. Yeah. I knew that. So your little

epee stay here until he comes back. So one time in the morning, in the morning, your little epee was sitting, was sitting on the living room and then he saw the mouse came out from the bedroom. The mouse. Yeah. Came out from the bedroom. And then, you know, your little epee loves to trap the mouse, right? He's a mouse trapper, yeah. Yeah. So the mouse was just kind of game. So he doesn't, you know, like the mouse, they will run like when you see the person. Yeah, they run. But the mouse is like walking nicely slow. And they're right in front of my father's house. Oh, there's a mouse. And then he doesn't mean it to kill, but he has the, this is like push for a little bit or a box of mouse. A matchbox. In the matchbox. So he threw the mouse in the

matchbox. He threw the matchbox at the mouse. Very tiny mouse, like very tiny. So he, I don't know if it fell and then he died. He killed Papa's mouse. With a matchbox. Well, because the mouse was conditioned to not fear humans. So, but because of my dad fed it every day. He just walking because usually mouse when you see the run path, right? Yeah. But this one came from the bedroom. He just walks, he just walks slowly, like, you know, like, okay, like, like a nice piece of face of walk because I think he feels that he's, you know, it's okay. Okay. So I just wanted to basically Sorry, darling. I said, why did you kill it? I said, what? That's the mouse of Angkor. I didn't know. I didn't know. I said, no. No. And then after that, when your Papa came home from the voyage and then one time, two days later, he was telling me, darling, I haven't seen my friends anymore. Oh, his friends. I have a mouse and a cockroach. I feel like a cockroach, but I haven't seen my mouse friend. I said, oh, I feel so good. I said, oh, I don't know. Maybe, maybe with the family.

Who threw the matchbox again? My little ipi, my grandfather. My grandfather killed my dad's mouse. So when my dad came back from the voyage, he was like, where's my mouse? And then my mom didn't have the heart. It's a tragedy. It's a tragic story of epic proportions. Oh, my God. I know. I said, mom, because Bobby thought that I was lying about the pet cockroach and the mouse and I just wanted to confirm that he wasn't, that I wasn't lying. We have the evidence now. Yeah, sometimes I like to be beaten by cockroach. What? What? Yeah. It becomes red and it's so itchy and it's nice to scratch. Wait, what? My mom just said, sometimes I like to be bitten by a cockroach because it gets really red and itchy and it feels good to scratch. Just like my left foot. That's weird. It's not true, Ma. Retract your statement. It's true. Okay, Ma, I love you. I'm going to call you back. Because I get beaten one time and then my mom said, oh, that's probably a cockroach. And I said, no, it's itchy unless I scratch. And so from that, no, I said, oh, I will not die if I be beaten by a cockroach. It's fun. It's not fun, Ma. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. All right. I love you. I'll call you. It's crazy. It's crazy. Too much. Too much. Too much. Too much. You see, when my mom doesn't know she's on the podcast, she can talk for hours. Wow. So I gathered so much information from that. Number one, I didn't know. What did you learn? What did you learn? I'll tell you what I learned. I didn't realize. There's things I learned. And what I didn't know is that cockroaches and mice, if you look at their little arms, they have little watches because they show up on time. Yeah, I didn't realize that. They show up on time for coffee and tea or whatever it might be. Number two, I just poor mouse. Poor mouse. Because imagine, what if there were creatures? I just imagine this. What if there were creatures bigger than us?

Right. And I saw that one of these creatures at noon because I have a watch. At noon, I have a watch. I go, oh, shit. It's a giant creature, right? Has fucking tea with me. So I climb up whatever it's table. Yeah. And I'm, you know what I mean? And we're talking about philosophical things like Sartre. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, whatever it might be. Or, you know what I mean? Descartes or whatever it might be. And you talk about Rachmaninoff, you know what I mean? And his compositions or whatever. You know, you wear your smoking jacket. Yeah. Maybe have a little pipe, you know. And then one day he goes, hey, hey, little man, I'm going to go on a voyage. You're like, oh, good luck. Magellan. I didn't know, right? He takes off. And a couple of days later, that creature's father throws a fucking piano on me. That's basically what it is. That's exactly what that story is. What a sad story. My dad was real sensitive about that stuff, you know? Oh, I love your dad even more. You know, I always wished that I met Clila's dad. It was so weird. He was such a scary, scary dude to be around. Even for me, I was his daughter. And I would have to formulate the questions and practice my line of questioning before I would even present the question to him. Because I didn't want to, like, stutter. And I wanted to always be clear. But because I was, I had so much, like, reverence for him. I've always wanted to impress girlfriends' dads. One time, I don't want to say who it was, but I dated this girl. And her dad came to see me perform at the comedy store.

Oh, no. And he sat up front with his work buddies. And I was killing, but they weren't laughing. Right? So I don't know why I did this, but I went, I started poking at my penis and just going beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, right? Because just to get them to laugh and they just shut down. And then afterwards you have to go, you can't go, do you have fun? You know what I mean? I think I just sat next to them for a second and then they said, well, thanks for the tickets. I need a little backstory. Was this a girl you really liked? It was a girl that I dated, yeah. Okay. And this was the first time you were meeting the parents?

Yeah, but they later he liked me. Later he liked me. I get, I get under their skin after a while. Papa can do it. Papa knows how to survive. I'm trying to think about what you and my dad would have had in common. I think because your dad knew that that director, was it Frankefer? Johnny Frankenheimer. Frankenheimer. And that your dad, you know, would show up at sets and stuff back in the day. I think that, you know, I always imagined that like I could go, what's your dad's name? Edgar. Edgar. What's up, dude? Hey, come to the set of Game On.

You know what I mean? What did your dad think about being on a set? Edgar, you want to meet Landon Donovan? I think that my dad was a really tough man to penetrate in that way. Penetrate? I don't think that's the word you want to use in this climate. Not this week. I think that my dad was just really hard to... And a tight ass on her dad. Yeah, hard to penetrate.

Very hard to penetrate. You know, he was 6'4". He was about 2'20". He's a big, big man, big, big voice. Can I ask you a question? That's an interesting... And this is a bizarre question. You might have to cut this out. But let's say like a 6'8 guy has a tight asshole. Right for a 6'8 guy. Wait, why would... Is there a stereotype that they don't?

No, but just listen. Wait, I'm listening. What you're trying to say basically is that typically tall people have loose assholes? No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying. Let's say my name is Billy Joe. My name is Billy Joe. I'm 6'8". I live in Alabama, right? Yeah. And you know, I wake up one morning and I bend over in front of a mirror and I say to myself,

wow, for a 6'8 guy, I'm sure do have a tight asshole, right? But to a 5'2 guy, it's probably not that tight. Why? Because he's bigger. What? It's perspective. What are you saying right now? Tightness of an asshole has nothing to do with the size of the asshole.

So you're saying like Peter Dinklage, you, Brad Williams all have loose assholes? No, no, we have even tighter. Why? Why does height... Because of his perspective of size. No, no. Tightness has nothing to do with bigness, babe. That's just like saying, hang on one second. You think that a bigger woman is going to have a looser vagina?

No, a bigger woman could have a tight vagina for being that size, but a smaller... Sometimes I think you're really onto something. Yeah, you were. I was onto you and then I got... Other times I think that like you're having a stroke. No, that's why I said to cut it out. I'm just... I like to throw things out there, right?

And now that I realize I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. Guys, science alerts, big guys, tall guys have loose assholes. No. Respect... Tall guys have tight assholes for being tall, but in the perspective of a smaller person, it's still loose. Why? Why? What's science?

Because the opening is like on a smaller person, the opening is small and then you enlarge everything about them. Exactly. And then the opening... All right. Let's look at cars. Do all cars have to share the same tire? Like for instance, if I...

No. If I had a Hummer, right? Yeah. And then I also had a Smart Car. Could I use the Smart Car tires onto the Hummer? No. Why? Because they're smaller tires.

Because it doesn't fit. It doesn't fit. You know, right? Okay. Okay, I get what you're saying right now. But the tires are different sizes. No, no, no. Gilbert, this is what he's saying.

He's saying this is actually not about assholes. It's about dick size in relation to how they fit into a giant asshole. Am I not correct? That makes more sense. That makes more sense. I mean, I wasn't thinking about that, but it's not that you say that. Yeah. He's saying that a small dick might feel like a big asshole feels loose because of the

small dick. But really, that's what you're saying, babe. Because you're talking about sitting things inside. Let's think of pinkies. I'm so confused, you guys. I'll give you an example. I'll give you an example, right? Okay.

Look at Peter Dinklage's hand, right? Yeah. It's a small, beautiful hand. Smaller hand. Let's just say it's a theatrical dramatic hand. Very theatrical. It does this good. It does this good in scenes.

Star meter. Fantastic. Right? And if Peter Dinklage stuck his pinky in his own asshole, right? Because he has a very tight asshole, right? Yeah. He'd be like, oh, my fucking, you know, my ass was pretty tight. But then if he went to Andre the Giant's asshole and stuck his pinky in Andre the Giant's

asshole, it probably is a little looser because Andre Giant is so big. I'd like to re-bottle. Here's another example. My re-bottle. Can I re-bottle? Yeah, yeah. You re-bottle. Sweetie, do you know what an asshole is?

It's a sphincter, right? But what about that muscle is weaker and taller men than comparatively to shorter men? You're saying that they have a weaker sphincter muscle. They have a bigger muscle. They have a bigger asshole. Yeah, but which means if it's a bigger muscle, it would be tighter. Not the other way around. I'm really confused about what point you're trying to make, but it's not computing.

I know. It's probably not computing. It's probably not computing. I don't know if it is. As I talk, as I talk, I realize that I don't really know what I'm talking about. But that being said, I threw it out there because I'm dreaming in that way. I'm whimsical in that way. I just want to question things.

George was trying to... George, do you kind of understand what I'm saying or not? I am with you 100%. And now if you back down, I'm going to feel crazy, so don't back down. I'm not going to back down from that. I'd like to hear George's perspective on this. George, please explain to me your logic, George. Well, just everything is bigger.

So if there's a small gap... Okay, that's like saying a rocket ship, right? When you close a rocket ship, because a rocket ship is so big that the doors can't be as tightly sealed. Yeah, but a rocket ship's a man designed that way. If I design... The only reason a rocket ship is so tight is because it has to be so tight. If you have a giant, their poos are so big... That they don't need to have as tight an asshole.

Because if it's just like this... Okay, hang on. So now George was trying to make your point. You can still have a little bit of an opening and the poo won't come out. So he's saying that because big people shit big... Don't bring poo into this. His thing is because tall people shit big that their assholes might just be by virtue of big shits be looser. That's another question I have.

I don't think... That's another question I have. Is it? I mean, throw this out there, right? Does a man who's six foot eight and weighs 300 pounds, is his shit as large as a dwarf's shit? No. Way bigger. Are they equal shits?

No. I think that's the point I was trying to make. His shit size? That was your whole point? No, I'm just saying that let's suppose as human beings, we didn't have toilets and we shit out in the wilderness. Yeah? And I was a tracker. I'm out there, I'm a tracker, right?

Yeah. And I'm just walking around and I see a piece of shit, right? On the ground. A human piece of shit. Could I say to myself, wow, a guy with gigantism just shat shit here. Or would I say, will I not know the difference? Then I have another question. I have a follow up question to that.

There we go! That's exactly the point I'm trying to make. What is the revelation you're trying to make? I thought we already knew this. I've had a revelation, is that why you nut so little? Wow. Wow. Wow.

Now we're getting personal. Did you help her? No. Yeah. Calyla on the fucking highway every time. No, because I've always said I've never been with anyone as short as you. Oh, shit. But I've also never been with anyone that nut so little.

So is there a correlation between the height and the amount of jizz then? No. I'll give you an example of my nut, okay? If you order whipped cream from the store, it comes in those canisters, right? Sure. And if you press on it for three hours and just let all the whipped cream come out, right? And then you put it back in the refrigerator. That's what my fucking...

That's what it is. Used whipped cream. So when you do it, it's like... It makes that sound. You ran out of the nitrogen. And nothing comes out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, so that's what my nut...

It has nothing to do with my size. Thank you guys. This came full circle. I'm very proud of our debates on this podcast. So... Listen, there are whimsical questions that I've always had walking down the street. So tell me about your father, Calyla. Okay, so...

I don't know how he got some. My dad is 220 pounds, six-eight. Bobby. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, question. Whimsical baby. You're right. I'm whimsical baby. Yeah.

Oh my God. Hey, guys. We're taking a quick break to share these amazing papayas with you. Hey, y'all. I love Tiger Belly fans, but I also have a special connection with our Patreon, our big papayas, and I would like to say their names of the month. The shout-outs of the month of the papayas. Mm-hmm.

Does that make any sense? I think so. We have Moon Disco from the U.S. of A. Moon Moon. It's a great name. We have Parvez Bashir. Parvez. Parvez. Yeah, we love Parvez and Bashir, and he makes a very good empanada.

Yeah. We have Jamie Che Cortez. I think that's Jaime. We have Jaime J. Cortez from the Cortez Vineyard. We have Melvin Flores. What's up? We have Rachel Wilkins. What's up, baby?

We have Rebecca Torres. We have Tyler Harrington. TJ. TJ. We have Bon Johnson. I love Bon. Yeah. We have Javiz.

Javiz. Javiz from Singapore. Javiz from Singapore. I love you, Javiz. Good luck on your endeavors. And your explorations of the mind. Is there a prayer you'd like? And lots of more things coming up this week.

We had the, if you wanted to see more on Leonard, that vlog is up. If you've been a long time papaya, Gilbert Standup is going to be live soon. And anything else you guys want to tell them that's coming up soon? What's the link? George? Oh, patreon.com slash Tiger Belly. Guys, thanks a lot. Thank you so much.

Oh, um, we forgot to tell you guys that after we podcasted last Monday, we had a heck of an evening. Heck of an evening with a puppy with a dog. So what happened was I'm not going to say more animal stories. I'm not going to say names. I will not implicate it because it was an accident. It was an accident. So our friend of ours, husband, came to do us a favor to clean out, to take these cabinets.

We have these cabinets that were built into the house that we didn't want. So we, um, we wanted to get rid of them. He wanted the cabinets. So he came with his truck. And so we put the cabinets in our backyard and he opened, we have one gate in our backyard that opens to the street. Okay. And, um, he prized open the back gate with, um, he props it open with a little stool to

carry, and then he put it in his truck and then he drove off without closing the back gate. So the back gates completely open. And so, you know, what, what I do is that back gate, um, there's an alleyway. Don't describe the house too much. I'm not going to, but there's an alleyway that leads to this back gate. And I like to throw balls with the dogs. It's like a giant dog run.

It's a dog run. Yeah. And I throw the ball, they run, it hits the back gate, bounces off of it. And so they don't escape. They bring the ball back and it's good exercise for the dogs. And, um, so I go, let's go, come on dog. So we have Gobi and Julio. Let's go boy, boy and girl.

And I bring the dog and as I throw the ball and I realized after I throw it, the gates completely open. So I go, ah, fuck. And I just see these two dogs run out into the street. Wow. Now Gobi, you know, Gobi is one way. Gobi is our daughter dog. She's a good dog.

She's a good dog. Easy to retrieve back. Good recall. Good recall. It's, you know, isn't, is good with other human beings. And then we also have a psychopath. Julio. We have an absolute homicidal.

Like if it was a human, it would be in a straight jacket. Kevin Spacey in the movie seven. Geez. You know what I mean? Yes. That's Julio. Julio. Only loves Juliana.

The only person he loves is Juliana. I don't know why, but, um, and, and, and Julio at nights doesn't sleep with us. All the animals want to sleep with, you know, Mama and Papa, but Julio refused to sleep and wants to sleep with Juliana because when Juliana, um, visited us years ago, she raised him. She raised Julio as a puppy. So Julio, um, just recognizes, sees Juliana as a, um, as a mother, I guess. Which is, it's heartfelt.

But so the dogs run out into this fucking street, right? And, oh my God, chaos ensues. Chaos. Bobby nearly got tased. Bobby got tased? So Julio goes up to a woman, doesn't bite her, but she's wearing a blouse. And no scar. No scar.

No, it was a scarf. Yeah. She had like a big scarf and she's pulling her scarf off her fucking body and she's screaming. And then Julio runs up the street, right? And goes up to this gigantic dog. I don't know what kind of dog it is, but it starts biting its legs. And the owner, the owner of the dog pulls out a taser, a human taser, not a dog taser, and starts trying to zap Julio.

And I'm running around this guy. What do you do? Avoiding the zap, right? And trying to fucking get Julio. I grab him. He bites me here. Julio. Yeah.

As hard as he can. And I grab him by the neck and I'm holding him. And also, dude, I'm fat, right? Bobby is in his underwear with no shoes running down the hills. No shoes. Yeah, underwear, no shoes. I look like a madman. Yeah.

Right? And I grab him and literally, dude, I get him in the house and I, it, it was almost as if, you know, years ago I saw a horrific car accident and I couldn't shake it. It was so horrific. Somebody died in this car accident that I saw. And it felt like... Really? Oh yeah.

It was terrible. Can I tell you the story? This is really dark. Yeah. I was at my, I can't want to say her name, but I was at my friend's house and she's a groundlings... Oh yes, you did tell the story. I know the story, but tell it again.

So she's a groundlings actress. You know, she's very talented and she used to date my friend Peter and she's a friend of mine and I was at her house at like midnight, 12, 30 at night. And she lived in Silver Lake on a hill. And all of a sudden we hear a car crash and we look down, we can see it and a car had zipped around a corner and hit a brick wall dead on. I think they were dry. I don't know what...

There were three people in this car. The car was flipped upside down and by looking at it, you're just like whoever was in that car is not alive. But what the horrifying thing was, is I guess a girl in that car, right? Her sister was following them in another car. Oh, so she watched it. So she pulled over and she's screaming at her sister, you know, Karen, Karen. And then she goes, she's dead.

And all we could do is just stand, we call the cops obviously call 911 and we got the cops there. I remember staying there until like five in the morning, you know what I mean, just in absolute shock. I mean, obviously the Julio incident is not as... That's not the same thing. No, I'm talking about feeling. Oh yeah, feeling.

Yeah. In terms of feeling. Yeah. The same kind of fight or flight kind of feeling of like, you know, you know, shock. I don't know. No, I know what you mean. Like where it takes you like a couple hours to decompress or you're still kind of like... No, it stays with you for days, right?

It's just like... In adrenaline, like you have a surge of adrenaline just take over your body and after that, it's just as it's... What did the guy say afterwards to you guys? Did he like complain or at all? No, we got the dog back in the house and we just didn't leave the house for days. Gobi, Gobi was easy to get because as soon as I call her, she just comes to me and also Gobi doesn't bite.

And it was really scary because it's not like, you know, if Julio gets out, it's not like we could be like, oh, a neighbor found him. He's not a friendly dog. He really is like not okay in the head. It's hard because when we have friends over, we have to keep in mind that we have this dog. So we have to put Gobi in the kettle or we have to... In the kettle.

Or whatever it's called. We're not cooking. That's a big Freudian slip, babe. What's a kettle? Like a cooking thing. A cooking mechanism. Oh, not a kettle. In the cage.

Yep. I try to do a fancy word for cage, but... Kennel. Kennel. Kennel. Yeah. What? I'm dumb.

Oh, the Slap King is so dumb, but you know, but here's the thing when you own animals. And this is, I guess this is how I, you know, Jeffrey Dahmer's father, you know, Jeffrey Dahmer when he was, just listen, when he was in trial, his dad visited him at prison every day and sat by him every day and supported his son and walked through this. I feel that with Julio. You know, I'm there for my son, you know, even though he's, he's got the wild eye. He's got the wild eye. He's got the wild eye for sure.

But you know, if he gets to know you, like has he ever been anything but sweet with George or you? No, sweet with me, not with George. He just likes to hug George. No, no, just the one time we were, had him in the podcast room when he was still a puppy and I had to try to hold him so he wouldn't like gnaw on the side of the table to make noise and he kept on reaching around and biting me. And then Bobby got mad at me for making noise and not like being completely quiet myself

when the dog bit me. He stands by his son. He stands by his son. He was getting bit by Julio. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. It's my son, baby. It's a son, George.

What can I say? I know. I know that really quick. People have been wondering, do you have any gripes with Rudy this week? Gripes with Rudy. Well, gripes with Rudy. Gripes with Rudy. What do you start?

It's not really a gripe. I think that you didn't. It's sabotage. It's the worst kind of gripe. I'm just trying to word it because I talked about it on Bad Friends as well. I don't even know why I should talk about it now. I may not be privy to this. What happened?

I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you then. I like food and I spend sometimes money on food and maybe I'm fat and maybe I worship food too much. But I'll go to an app and I'll order fancy foods from all over the country from different states. I like to try things out.

And I order pies and if you ever want a delicious pie people, chicken and mushroom, pepper steak, she's smiling right now because she doesn't really get the magnitude of her offenses. But you know, I love my pie anyway. So you know, you get them delivered from all over the country. So you know, they come to the door and we have a rule in the house where she has to disinfect everything before it comes inside the house. That's her job is to disinfect things. And I love her so much.

She's a sweet girl. She gets straight A's. I'm so proud of her. And she don't roll your eyes at me, please. 4.0 GPA congrats. She started following this actor boy in high school and you know, this actor I know his name and he was older. I'm not going to say his name, but she followed this actor.

She went to a school and she followed this actor. Google search school. He's a theater guy. He's a theater guy. Cute as fuck. You know, I mean, kind of got a Southern California Tony Hawk kind of vibe to him. A young Yakov Shmirinov, not Yakov Shmirinov, a young weird Ali Yankevich, I mean, that's what he kind of looks like.

Yeah. So it's a combination between Tony Hawk and weird Ali Yankevich, but he's a young kid and she followed him on social media on Instagram and he didn't follow her. How long has it been Jill's a month and he hasn't followed you? She has not followed her back and it really, I want to tweet at the guy. I want to follow him and make a message and go, if you don't fucking, I will bury you. I know it's not right, but that's my as a father. That's what I want.

Fucking follow her back. Yeah. You know what Bobby threatened to do yesterday was follow the kid. So this is, we were, we're all about to watch a movie and he's like, you know what, I'm just going to go ahead and follow him. I'm like, I don't think that's the right move at all. I wanted to follow him, have me follow back and just do a direct message and go, yo, dude, just, you know, on the side, on the side, you know what I mean, follow her back.

That's so crazy. And I didn't do that because I realized you guys talk sense. That was my gut instinct. Yeah. That was my gut instinct. You know what his gut instinct was when we first started dating? His gut instinct was to follow all of my exes. All of them.

His gut instincts with Bobby. Yeah. That's my gut instinct. And they're usually wrong. My gut instincts. That's why I don't ever follow them. You never follow your gut. Oh, no.

I go against my gut. Do the opposite. So she's in love with this boy and, um, it's a crush, babe, my crush and, but, you know, I, you know, then I proposed, you know, I set up for Gilbert, you know him, Raimi. Yeah. Shout out to Raimi. Yeah. Yeah.

So I sent. Was it her type though? Visually? No. Well, that's why I backfired because I go, Raimi, send me three photos of you. So he sent three photos, right. And I go, I called him right back and I said, you got to lose weight. You can't do that.

That's so mean. He's all. He is so cute to me. He's all cheeks. He is a very cute boy. And that was so mean that you said for him to lose weight. He doesn't need to lose weight. He looks fine.

He has a milk lens and his titties. He says this every time we play, I always say that. Grip me some milk out of your fucking titties. But don't you find it like a little bit weird that you're trying to like arrange two children to date, not two children, two adult, young adults to date? It's like traditional matchmaking. It's traditional. You know, Korean parents have done it back in the day.

You know, I I'm not going to Filipino mom. You sound like a Filipino mom said, but I was making some suggestions because she's like has this crush on this like actor boy from school. And I go, well, I have an alternative. Didn't you try to offer her also give her the option for a trauma Todd? Who is trauma Todd? Who is the trauma Todd? No, but trauma Todd.

No, you saw a video. Okay, guys. So Gilbert and I, we all play war zone and I play with a guy named Raimi, but I also play with a guy. I can't say his name because he wants to keep be kept a secret. But his name is I call him Todd. And then I just call him trauma Todd. I don't know why.

Yeah. So trauma Todd, we can be mentioned earlier and trauma Todd, um, he lives in England and he's a very talented skateboarder. And so I had a video of him skateboarding on my phone, right? And so Kaila saw, he looks like a kind of like a deformed Harry Styles. I didn't say that. That's what I'd say. Oh, yeah.

No, he looks like a regular ass, regular guy, regular guy, if Harry Styles was deformed. But, um, so either way, I got guys that I'm going to set her up with, but let me go back to the fucking thing though, the panbury pie and all that stuff. I'd like to also just say one more thing before we move forward. So you guys, none of you guys think it's weird when parents set their kids up with other people. Is it just the parent thing? It seems normal, at least in my culturally in my experience, that's

the Filipinos do it a lot, but I was dating Cindy and my grandpa is still trying to set me up with women in the Philippines. Like, I'm like, you know, I've been with Cindy forever, he's like, I know, but just in case, like in case what I'm literally telling you that I want to propose her, you're offering Filipino women to me. You know what? I have to go back to the panbury, the panbury, the panbury, Jules, what's panbury? That's the name of the company.

I order panbury pies from an app called gold belly. They're not sponsoring us, but it's a very good app and you can get food from anyway. And so, you know, we can't, I can't disinfect the food that comes here. That's Juliana's job. And I've said this, I said this before, but I'm going to say it again, so that it never happens again. And she's in complete denial about it and she's like, it's fine and all that shit. So I tell her, the pies are here.

And she goes, okay, uncle Tito or whatever it might be. Yeah. Okay, uncle Tito. There it is. Panberries. Oh, those are delicious. Okay. And so, you know, I don't know how food works in the Philippines, but when you leave it

out in the sun here in America, you know, if something's frozen because of just the sun, it melts. And when you leave it out there for two days, the shit's going to melt. Oh, two days. So, but she doesn't tell me, right, because I let it go because I think that she was responsible. She's a responsible, she's a responsible girl. Over two days, she leaves it out there. And then so she doesn't tell me, she puts them in the freezer as if I'm not going to

notice. Oh, you already knew though. Okay. No, I didn't know. I didn't know until I go, I say, you know, sometimes Papa wakes up and goes, I think today's pie day. Pancake pie day. I want a little pie, right?

I go in to the freezer and I pick up a pie. Now the pies are about this big and they're in a plastic wrapper and it tells you on the wrapper, you know, mushroom and chicken or whatever it might be, right? But these, this batch is, you see the pie, but outside of the pie, you see brown gravy frozen now, it's no longer in the pie. All right. The shit is outside of the pie and there's no way to put frozen brown gravy back inside the fucking pie.

It's like a prolapse. Yeah. You can still put those back. I had three of them. You need tweezers, some pliers, some fucking, and some fucking Vaseline. I think what you're trying to say, Gild, is you can't put shit back into the butt. That's better. Yeah.

I have done it. Yeah. You could just push that back. But I leave it out for a couple of days, especially during Halloween so I can play like, you know what I mean? An animal. Jesus. And I have a prolapse, but I was like, keep it out for a couple of days.

Yeah. It's your rattler. Yeah. It's your rattler. So now when you eat a pie, and I just had one before this podcast, you know, I baited basically what you have in it is the pie, right, and the meat because the meat didn't seep through. Yeah.

So it's just. No juices. No juice. No. Yeah. And you know what a pie is? Let's be honest. Let's be real for once on this fucking podcast.

Sure. What's inside a fucking pie is a stew is supposed to be a stew. Yeah. A thick gravy like stew. So then I, and I gently pointed out, I go, I go, no offense, but you know, these pies, you know, you know, the fucking gravy is, she goes, it's not gravy. It's oil. That was pretty good improv to just think of something.

Do I, I say to her, oh, do I, did I order oil pies? Pie? Yeah. Yeah. On the packaging, does it say chicken with oil chicken and canola? No. Do you know reason why it doesn't fucking say that is because there's no fucking oil on it.

All right. So I love you and you're doing a great job in the household and everyone's saying online to be nicer to Rudy. I'm getting direct messages. You got to be nicer. I'm done with you. I'm done with bad friends. I'm done with Tiger Belly.

If you're not nicer to Rudy, and this is me being nice. That's why I didn't fucking do anything. You know, even the pies and I'm going to tell you this right now, as we speak, I've ordered another batch. Okay. Are you mad? Oh, but she's doing a great job. I honestly, no, let's say it's positive things.

Yeah. She's loving with this guy. Shut the fuck. Shut up. But a lot of guys have crushes on her on the Internet. Oh, they do. I know. I know.

I get it. But that's not real life, is it? That's not real life. I mean, if she wants to, make it real life. That'd be kind of weird. She's too young. She's too young. She's too young.

You know. Wait. Wait. She's too young to date in general? I don't want it. There's the dad vibes kicking in. Yeah. I don't want it yet.

I want her to get through school. I want to graduate from high school. Can you graduate from high school? And then we'll figure out your future. I'm so the opposite. Yeah. I'm always like, who are you talking to these days? Let me see the pictures.

Ooh, should we set up like a six feet apart date? Like it's also very mom though, to be like, let's set up a play date. Do we have an unhelpful advice, Gilgill? Ghost stories with Bobby at Kalyla. After last week, so many people won. You guys answer their paranormal experiences because you guys are experts. Long time listener thought I'd share my ghost story with you. I'm a 30 year old dude who does not believe in any of that woo woo bullshit.

However, my young nephew keeps mentioning that we believe, what we believe is just an imaginary friend, but he refers to him as the man with the snake neck. He's mentioned him a couple of times in New Zealand night. If you press him for more information, he'll eventually just respond that he doesn't know where he came from, but that he lives in the basement and comes through a hole in the floor. He's referring to the air conditioning event in the hardwood floor of my sister's house. Generally, I'd say this is just some twisted imagination of a young child under six, but the last time I babysat him at around 2am, after the nephew was sleeping, I swear to you

I could hear steady knocking coming from the basement steps. They eventually stopped on their own after I refused to investigate by myself. The next morning, my freaky nephew asked if I saw the man with the snake neck last night when he came to visit. Needless to say, I immediately planned on cutting that kid out of my life ASAP. But do you think I'm overreacting? Or do kids actually see things that we cannot? Also, what the fuck does snake neck mean?

Love you guys. Love the show. That's like the no-neck lady in the hunting of Hill House. No, I'm sorry, the bent neck lady. I'll tell you why my opinion, my expert opinion in these paranormal activities is that when a child sees an imaginary friend, but I don't think it's an imaginary friend. I think it's when they see the boogeyman, or they're fearful of the creature down below. It's usually, there's something down there, or I saw a shadow, or I feel something.

But when you get specific and you see the neck, and you see reptile scales, snake neck, and that's also very like, it's not, you know, descriptive, it's odd, it's an odd thing to describe. What would you do? If that was my son, I would move, and he would have to stay there in the house. Oh, no, you know what I would do, I would be like, I was boarding school. Oh, yeah, remove him from the source. No, remove him from me, but like, but pretend for social reasons, no, you know, he's in

Switzerland going to, you know what I mean? The Academy, like, really, does he come up for something, no, it's a year round thing. But what if, what if the young kid is the snake charmer, and so he's the only one that can control the snake, and maybe keep it, keep it a friendly snake neck monster. Whether, whether he's, he could control it, or whether it's a fucking monster, I don't want that shit in my life. Why? It could be an ally.

Oh, that's true. Like, not all, not all ghost cadmium casper exists. Oh, so like, we, oh, so there's an intruder, right? Interesting. You hear the fucking glass, you know what I mean? And people coming in, you go to your son, snake time, it's snake time! Yep. Right?

So they can go, the kid goes, lights a couple of times, and it comes out of that. It's a weaponized thing. It's like, let the right one in. Remember how eventually she protected the boy from like being bullied and stuff? I wanted to read this thing. Remember how last week, during our paranormal session of talking about the pink flowers around the pale yellow house, somebody sent me what they found on the internet about what those pink flowers that Kadena de Amor symbolized.

You want to hear it? I want to symbolize. Remember that yellow house? Yeah, of course. I can't forget it. Okay. It says, Kadena de Amor, Kadena de Amor are a flower from Mexico and are widespread throughout the Philippines.

On the surface, they are vines of beautiful pink and white flowers, and that is why they are named Chain of Love and sometimes Brides Tears. As a flower resembles tiny hearts and chains, however, they earn a negative connotation since they flourish so strongly that they overwhelm and choke out their surroundings. They are often commonly found in graveyards, constantly needing to be eradicated as they eventually cover and consume entire headstones and graveyards. Oh my fucking god. So they choke out their surroundings and my whole house was surrounded by that.

Wow. Wow. And you need to eradicate them. Yeah. Cut them from your memories. The honest truth about the kid with the snake neck monster? Yeah. The honest truth is, is probably he, he might have gone through something traumatic, right?

And he made, you know, and this snake neck creature, you know what I mean, is something that he came up with the deal with, you know what I mean, this tragedy, or he could just have a very creative imagination. And you know, I bet your money, if you talk to Stephen King or was it Clive Barker or any like, you know, horror movie, what? Nothing. I just, the Clive Barker reference just made me giggle. I don't know why.

Yeah. Clive Barker. The horror movie, you know, novelist. R.L. Stein. Yeah. They might have, you know, grown up and had these kind of imaginary things and maybe that's just a part of their, maybe he's going to become a great writer because that is a very

creative, you know, kind of creature, a snake net. Dude. And, you know, honestly, little boys are funny, man. My friend just sent me a video of her son like clamping his own dick with magnets and he, I, that's, she was like, do you think there's something wrong with him? And I honestly think he's like ahead of his time and just onto something that we're not aware of. But he, he's like, these things have electricity and he's like clamping.

He's growing it. I don't know what it was, but it was something. I'm proud of him. I'm like, wow, that's, he's taking risks in life and wow, what a, what a great kid. He's taking risks in life. Like who just clamps their own fucking dick down. Because if I saw that, if your own son did that, well, first of all, I'd have to catch him.

All right. There's, there's, there's two things. What if he's not secret about it? Okay. There's two scenarios, right? There's two scenarios. There's me opening up a door and him clamping his own dick with shit. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Right. Right. So that's not as bad as, Hey dad, you want to see something cool? Yeah. Cause then that I'd be like, yes son, I think maybe it's a, a little playful joke. You know what I mean? Like somebody, like somebody told me this joke was so dumb on, on, you know, that traumatized

who, you know, he makes jokes when we play war zone and he, and he did a joke that was so dumb, you know, um, what does it sound like when pink panther steps on an aunt? What did aunt, did aunt, did aunt, did aunt, did aunt, did aunt, did aunt, did aunt, did aunt. I feel like that's a Roger Joe. Yes. That's a Roger Joe. Right.

That's what he said. And then when we were playing, right? For like a minute after he said the punchline, no one said anything. It was completely silence. No one laughed. George. And we just, and we just kept, we just kept playing and then, and then traumatized goes, you guys didn't think that was funny?

Oh. And we never even, we never even, you know, and deep down, I got angry. Yeah. I go, did that, did that. Fuck you. You know what I mean? But anyway. Wait.

So if your son came up to you and said, dad, I want you to clamp that dick with magnitude. I would think that he would do a dead end joke, right? Oh, okay. I would think that he would like show me some sort of like card trick he learned from his friend, Billy. Yeah. But he's four. Right.

He's four. If he was clamping his dick, you know, it's like, you know, the human version of Julio, our dog. And I would probably seek medical attention, like psychological attention to it. That's weird. I don't know. I found it to be really cute and adventurous and truly that's what I thought. I was like, I love this kid.

This kid is just getting to know his body and like doing weird shit with it and not having any shame. Yeah. Thanks for listening to another episode of Tiger Belly. We really, you know, this has been a tough week. You know, we'll see what happens. More will be, more will be revealed. More will be revealed.

And I, you know, I don't really believe in Jesus and I don't really believe in the kind of God that, you know, Western religions talk about. But I have been on my hands and knees praying. This is, you know, my, you know, I think I feel like I lost a dear friend of mine and it's really been a tough week. But I'm sorry, sweetie. Yeah. And so I love you guys.

Thanks for still being there with us. And you know, we're building a new studio. We're going to start bringing in guests again and it's going to be back to normal soon. But God bless you. Take care and good night. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly ad free on Amazon music, download the Amazon music app today, or you can listen ad free with Wondry plus in Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash

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