TigerBelly - Ep 254: Esther Povitsky and the Amazon Prime Time Meltdown

Episode Date: July 15, 2020

Bobby and Whitney gang up with medical advice. Esther shares something with Larry King. Khalyla makes two dinners. We talk watching Alone together vs watching Alone Together, Dr. Zhivago vs Dr. Kevorkian, and a butt to butt with Bobby dream. www.patreon.com/tigerbellyPlease support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus Yeah Five I've not started yet. I'm just getting my voice ready. That make you nervous No, it didn't make me nervous. What you know what was going on. No, I didn't know if that was is that something you do every time No, no, no, I just wanted to do it now. Oh But can you not can you not honestly? That's fucking bullshit little aggressive a little aggressive number one number number two Um, I haven't even started yet. Oh, but you that was you starting now. No, no, no, cuz he does the countdown

I'm just getting my I'm doing vocal exercises. I've never known you to do vocal exercises. This is the first I'm trying new things, you know, so when I do this you do the countdown and then we'll start Okay, cuz the last time I was here you start you don't say your name What you don't see your name until I introduced you okay, you don't say a word she can say you don't say nothing I mean Oh, you don't say what you can ask her I am asked her All right

You guys my body is broken right now. Yeah from we'll talk about it. I did you know I can't even fucking hear a strong one. He's a strong one, but don't until I do this and then do this You do the countdown, but I need to do vocal exercises. Okay. I guess things have changed since my last appearance Don't talk Okay, that part hasn't changed and it has not changed if you open your mouth again, all right, I Will sew it shut Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah five now I when I do what I do this in this I thought that was for her. No, no, I when I say her name. Yeah, she starts

Oh, how do I know what I count down when I do this and I All right, yeah, yeah you recording you we are recording all right. We may keep this. This is an 80. We have no idea. It's fine We have no idea Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's hit a wall. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Five. Yeah. Four. Yeah. Three. Yeah. Two. Yeah. One. Welcome to another episode of Tiger Belly. I'm your captain, your guru, your myth god, your angel eye, your toe friend, your mind lover. Here I am, your captain in flesh in blood. I have walked down from the temple of Uzu to welcome all of you to my podcast. I am guru Bobby Lee. Welcome. I have my Sheep lady. Right. Kalyla Cune. She I released her from the cage and she may come out. And we have a question. Am I a herder? Am I or just sheep? You're an actual sheep in this scenario. You're a sheep. I am guru. But we also have the white nothing, the white nothing George

Kimmel. Nothing. He is nothing. Nothing. You may see him there, but he may not be there as well. Because he has no substance. We have the flat one. The flat one is here. The two dimensional face. Barnacle. Barnacle. Hello. Yes, that's the voice. Hello. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you are. Now I'm going back. Now I'm going back. I'm going to go back to the character. Bobby Lee. Hi. Hello. Welcome to another episode of Tiger Belly. And we have a beautiful guest. I'm going to say this. I haven't seen a lot of people. Why are you so concerned? Don't say nothing. But why you have to speak? Why are you spraying out COVID? There's a lot of spray. All over my fucking studio. All right, ready and okay. So we have, you know, I haven't seen a lot of people during the quarantine. I've seen the red one, the rage, the red rage, the hatred of the bottom, Andrew Santano. And I've seen him a bunch of times, which is regretfully so. I've seen, who else have I seen? That's it. That's it. That's all I've seen. I have not even seen my brother in flesh. Well, that's a choice. No, it's a lifestyle. It's a choice and a lifestyle. But the other day, we got these fancy, fancy mochi balls from what's the company called Rice Blossoms.

Folks, this is not one of our, you know, our sponsors, but Rice Blossoms. Did you eat some? Don't say anything. But did you eat some? Well, how good were they? Yeah, very good. So we got these mochi balls with these strawberry. That's not part of the ad for Rice Blossoms. You okay? Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, fine. I burped. I know. I thought maybe you were having another issue. I had a mochi. I was talking thinking about mochi. Made you burp. And my mouth got all saliva like. I don't think that was a burp. That was like a whole potato coming out. Yeah, potato came out as well. So everyone, everything, everything is fine. Well, let's get, let's get under control here. So I, so we had these mochi balls and we, then one day I was just relaxing and Kalala was like, we got to deliver some of these mochi balls to people. And Esther seemed like somebody who likes mochi. Like I, it was just a wild guess. Yeah. But of all the people in my Rolodex, I was like, I think Esther likes mochi. She's so cute like that. So the first up we went to is Sasha Gray's house. Yeah, she likes mochi. She likes mochi. She probably won't eat them though. She ate all of them. She sent me pics. And then she did. I love her. And we went to little Esther's house. And with King Dave, he's another king. He has another kingdom over there. King Dave is Dave King is his name, but I call him King Dave King. And he is King Dave King. And he is what an illustrious poetic genius of a man. His body is just other world, otherworldly. His body is like it's melting. What does that mean? Well, imagine he was a stick of butter. And you stuck it out. You know what I mean? I'm imagining his face. On a hot, like a Hawaiian beach. Just hot. Yeah. Right. You stick out a stick of butter. Yeah. On a beach for about five hours. That's what his body looks like.

So a puddle. It's a puddle of something. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. Great optics. Flexiglass. So then we brought, and then I, you know, when we're driving to little Esther's house and King Dave King, I was like, I'd like to see them. And so we went into their backyard. And we had a little pow wow, as they say. We had a little fellowship. And I really enjoyed it. It was good to see you. And she has a new special coming out Friday. I don't know what it's called. I don't know where it's at. Hot for my name. Hot for my name. And what network? Comedy Central. Comedy Central. Are they still alive? They're down? All right. So she has a hot for my name. Comedy Central. That doesn't exist anymore. And she's a very good friend of ours. She's very talented. And I've always loved her. Little Esther, give her a round of applause, everybody. You can talk now. Thank you so much. It's kind of fun being on a podcast and not talking. Yeah, it is nice for once. Is that a nice one for once? I had so much fun when you guys came over to. I feel so disgustingly close to you guys. Me and Dave both do. What do you mean? I just feel like we're so close, even though we don't see each other a lot. I feel like you're a rare couple that we both truly love and feel connected to. Yeah, yeah. And we feel the same way as yourselves as well. Which is why you were the second recipient emoji. I can't believe that. It was so good.

Yeah, you're an odd human. You have a reverse progeria or something. What's that? Well, progeria is when you're young and you look really old. You know that disease? Where you look young? No, no, no. You're young, but you look old. You're young. You're like, you know, they're like eight years old, but they look like they're 90. You have the reverse where you don't really age. I do. I mean, up close, I look like a teenager with wrinkles. It's not like, but thank you for that compliment. I mean, Calyla has it too, though. Calyla has like those chunky cheeks. Have big cheeks. Chunky baby cheeks.

But eventually the cheeks. Calyla's only 21 years old, you know, right? They met seven years old. Yeah. So. Wait, eventually what? Eventually the big cheeks lie down. Stop. Yeah. So in my case, what you'll end up getting are deep nasolabial folds because the cheeks will just.

What do we do? Eat avocado? Yes. Or just sleep upside down. Like an orangutan. Or you get cosmetic cosmetics, right? Like the Kardashians do. Cosmetics. Yeah, but there's makeup.

I mean, cosmetic surgery surgeries. Yeah, but those don't look good because you can always tell when a woman has like cheek fillers. They just look like a portion of their face is seen from all angles. It doesn't look right. I'm not. Yeah, I would only do it if Calyla did it to me. Or you guys should go to Korea. They're like state of the art over there. They can make a 90 year old lady look too.

I mean, they're amazing. Yeah, and they don't hesitate to like shave down jaw lines. Oh, I need extra jaw line. So but you could then you would just put that's not shaving down anything. That's a. You know, you know, you don't you want to add jaws to your face. Is that what you're saying? Yeah.

I like the shape of your face. Thank you. I never really noticed it before, but it's almost a perfect circle. Thank you. Yeah, like like a moon. Does it feel good? Thank you so much. Don't say thank you.

You could disagree with me. No, I hear that all literally all the time. You do. Yeah. Esther, I saw your quick interview like a while back of you on Larry King. Oh, yeah. I couldn't stop laughing just because I know you so well. And I know like you were it seemed like you were practicing restraint.

Yeah. What was it? Because I was asked to do that interview as well. Larry King. No, I didn't do it. No, no, no. You didn't do it. No, I know.

But they reached out to me and I go, I don't know. I would feel too uncomfortable doing it. I think it was weird. Well, the way I'm curious what part you thought was weird because I'm the part I'm thinking of is when he went off script and asked me if I have a boyfriend. Okay. Yeah. That's what I found a little bit strange.

I'm like, can you not ask her anything because Esther looks so young and pure. And I think just by virtue of the way you look, it just, I didn't like the life question. It was weird, but I do feel like I am like he's, he just, I felt like I understood like we both like Sammy Davis Jr. So I guess we were kind of vibing, but it was weird when he asked if you have a boyfriend because you know the questions ahead of time. Yeah.

And that asking if I had a boyfriend was not on the list. Yeah. I was like, he went off script for me. He's an improviser. Yeah. Why dudes like that have a high libido, huh? Larry King. Yeah.

Like him and like, what was the playboy guy? Hugh Hefner. Hugh Hefner. Like, you know, when they were 80 and stuff, they were, they were staring at their like ET dicks, right? I don't know what they do though. Like I feel like I remember hearing from one of the playmates who told her story that like they would just kind of all sit in the bed and like kiss each other.

I don't think sex happened, but I don't know. Oh, that's weird. Like a slumber party. Yeah. He actually produced spawn when in his 70s. Which one? Larry King. Oh, probably.

I don't know. Yeah. I imagine that there was no fucking Viagra. Yeah. And he still had to have sex. He would have to take jam his. Oh, stop. Smushies.

Yeah. He would smush it against the wall of the vagina. The word jam. Yeah. He would not jam. I would do it a little differently. If I was him and I was 70 and I knew that I could still ejaculate. Yeah.

I would put it on a Petra dish and then get a turkey baster. And then Turkey based. No, I would. I would take my four fingers like this and I would rub it like a clip. Right. Like honey, you know, and she would be spread. Right. I would love it.

Right. You ready? You ready? Right. Right. And I would then take this thing and spread the vaginal open and just try to eject it. Just shoot it into it. Is that what am I perverted by even saying?

I know. That's exactly my style now. And I just feel like am I Larry King? I don't know. Am I Larry King? You know, it's so funny. I was thinking about this Esther is that when I remember driving up at the comedy store and you were like, I think you were wearing a mask or something, but you were

really worried about COVID. This is when we were texting every day. Texting every day. About COVID. And even I was like Esther. Don't not yet. Not yet. What did I tell you?

What did I tell you? What did I tell you? You said nothing's going to happen. You're fine. You're fucking idiot for being scared. There's a billion people in China. Everything's fine. It's not coming here.

And then Whitney Joint. You and Whitney basically ganged up on me. I was like standing there. Oh yeah. I was like standing in the parking lot like shivering of fear. And Whitney is like, you think you're so special that you could get it. You guys. Oh right.

Right. You are both screaming. We really made you feel bad. But it actually weirdly enough made me feel better because then I went home and didn't have so much fear about it because I'm like why trust them and they're telling me not to be scared. You guys did end up being wrong. But you're not the only ones.

My therapist told, my therapist told me she wanted to throw my hand sanitizer away. Oh Lord. And I mean I ended up taking that last trip to Vancouver that I was scared of, but I don't know. Yeah. You guys, you guys were not scared. We were traveling. We were in Hawaii.

Remember when I texted you, I said, I'm going to be the guinea pig. I'm going to go without a mask and I'm, but I still had like sanitized everything like my seat and I was still really careful. Nothing happened to me. So I was like, oh, I think I'm good. Really? Yeah. Do you think that you had it?

No. I don't. I never felt ill. I had never got sick. Not even from the flu or a cold. But do you don't think there's a chance you like had an asymptomatic? If I, if we would have, it would have been from that travel because as soon as lockdown happened, we were, we haven't seen anybody since, but I can tell you when it got real

for me. What? Tom Hanks. Yeah. Remember when Tom Hanks, we were like, Tom Hanks, holy fuck, Tom, we were, I was like, fucking Tom Hanks for us. Holy fuck. We're dead.

That was like the best PR for COVID. Yeah. Yeah. And that day that Tom Hanks announced it that morning, I was supposed to fly to Montreal. And I, I know I just told you guys this when you were over, but like, I was supposed to fly to Montreal and I woke up and my car service was there because I was going to work and I just said like, I can't go. I called my agent and I was like, how bad is this if I cancel like this?

I know this is so unlike me and it's crazy. And then I remember Dave woke up and he's like, wow, so you're fucking crazy. You're still here. But then by the end of the day that like, so in the morning I looked absolutely crazy to everyone by the end of the day, Tom Hanks had it, the NBA had shut the season down. And I was like, if I was in Canada right now, and then here's the second person that made a real, real for me, DDK Daniel, they came because I had been to his house in Hawaii two weeks before in Superbowl.

I went to his house and I'd never seen a Superbowl. I didn't even know what sport I'm not kidding me. I didn't even know what the fuck sport was. That's very scary. At the time they're like Superbowl. He called me a Superbowl. Would you think I go, is it a food? Is it a big bowl of food?

Like organic super food, right? I went over and there was a football game. If you guys don't know, yeah, it's a football game and it's the last football game of the season where the two top people do it. Right? We shared a flight with him before. That's how I got to the fucking Hawaii that no, I know the flight. I know that's how I got to the flight with the flight, but that's how I got to his house

because we ran into each other at the airport and then he's like, Hey, you know, maybe you can come over for the Superbowl and whatever. And then he called me and then that's I went over to his house. And then when he got it, I was just like, Oh, this is real. Like anybody can get it, you know, now, you know, DDK recovered. He's a every seen his body. It's so nice. How long do you think it would take for you to get to DDK body level?

I think it's I'm at the point of no return. Three months. No, not three months. I'm at the point of no return. I don't have also the structure he has, but Camile did. Yeah, but Camile is his body structure. I believe, I believe that God makes certain, you know, I've said this before, right, prototypes, like 20 body prototypes for men, 20 body prototypes for women and what you do with

that. You're describing Westworld. I am. I am. I am. But what you do with that prototype, right? Is, you know, you could make it fucked up like by eating it or treating it like shit. But I believe that I have the same body prototype as your boyfriend, Dave and when I, you know,

you know, his is more melting, you know, so are you, so are you trying to say you're mid melt? Yeah, Dave is a funny guy. He's a comedian. He's a great. He's not a comedian. I know, but he's an actor. Don't say that.

He's an actor. He's a writer. He's acting. He likes to act. Yeah. No. He's a comedy writer. Is he not?

He's a comedy writer who acts sometimes in the shows he writes on. Okay. But I've talked to David before and he enjoys it. Yeah, I guess. I don't like that because I don't want to be with a performer. I almost feel like I got tricked. Like when I started, when I met him, I'm like, this is amazing. He's a comedy writer.

He doesn't want to be on camera. He doesn't want to be seen. He wants to hide from the world. Why do you, why do you want to, you want to, you think it's, it's competitive that one? Not competitive, but I just like the idea of someone that just is, just thinks they're disgusting and doesn't want to be seen by the world. I like, that's hot to me.

Someone who just like stuffs their face with crab legs and yeah, yeah. But speaking of crab legs, Annie Letterman told, she likes crab legs. She told me that you told her that you got really fat, but you look the same. What? There's rumors in the industry that Bobby's getting. Well, wait. So Annie Letterman, I thought it was her. Someone said to me that they're like, Oh, you saw Bobby.

Was he fat? He said he's fat. Yeah. I texted with her and I said, I'm just getting really fat, but this is something, a throw away thing that I say to everyone. Like you can say whatever because you're not going to see them anyway and I don't post it anyway. So I was just like, yeah, I look like fucking, you know, Ralphie May now, but you are technically

getting smaller because of yoga. Kind of. Well, you know how they say like 90% of weight loss is in the kitchen. Yeah. So really, if you don't change that part, like you don't change the outcome of your body shape. That's true. And so basically yesterday.

Oh, you're fat. Our yoga instructor Cara yesterday repeatedly said, Bobby, stop calling yourself fat. Stop calling yourself fat. She's like, you know, if you're, if you're happy in the weight that you're in, you feel strong in the weight that you're in, you're happy in your weight, clap your hands, but then you're happy in your way, clap your hands, fat, fat, but then she was like, but lay off the pizza. That's what she said.

Goldbelly. Stop eating pizzas every day. Yeah. And she took that as an offense. Is it a private yoga or a big group? It's private. She does both. Oh, but we should do it.

We should do it. I think we've invited you before and well, it was an informal invite, but we, we should do it. We don't want to crash yours. You're not crashing. It's just on zoom. You could do it with us. Wow.

And yesterday I'm going to say, number one, I've never had an other, I've never had, I don't know what other yoga teachers are like, but this, I call her my master and she is my master and she, her name is Kara, I don't know why I check her out. She really worked me less yesterday. It was the heart. First of all, for you, for those of you, this is who I was before yoga, yoga. That's just a bunch of stretching, which is, that's not a real exercise. You know, like anyone that would do yoga, I'd be like, Oh yeah.

Yeah. I'm going to walk, you know what I mean? Like that's how the level of, I thought that it was just like walking or lifting your arm. Right. Oh, yoga. Hard. Right.

Just looking your arms like that, right? I don't know why I'm doing this. You've been doing that a lot. You're like air traffic. I don't know what I'm doing and then the way when you're happy with your weight, clap your hands. Fat, fat. Wait.

So, but what would you say about yoga now before you said, oh no, so I'm going to do it. It is, um, is most difficult thing I've ever done in my life. I've been into a lot of tragic situations in my life, a lot of physical exertion. You have. I've been beat up. Yeah. I've been, uh, you know, I used to have this trainer, you know, because Abby thought one

time that I was going to be like an action star, a manager, so she's like, I know this guy, you know, he's the best trainer in the world. He's a tall, a muscular black guy and he used to come to my house and he used to fucking rock. You're not done. And I'm, and I'm on the treadmill. You're not done. You would yell.

You're not done. And I go, I'm dying. And then like, if I would stop, he would grab me and put me back on the trend. You're not doing, you know, and I was so hard. This is way worse. There's no way that's possible. Oh yeah. Dude.

Okay. What I love about yoga is this. She's like, you'll be in a position, right? What is that? You'll be on a, you'll be on your leg like this, one leg and you're lifting it up like this. I'm just getting it up, right? And she's, I'm like, it burns, right?

And then, well, because you haven't, you know, used certain muscles there before, right? Like, you know, some of us have built up that muscle, right? But because it, because you haven't used, and in my mind, I'm like, when would I ever be in this position? How could I work on this? I would have to be in my kicking. If I was a soccer player like this, maybe this, right? Wow.

That's really good, babe. Right. Right. But when would you ever, that's why this is petrified because I'm never in this position. So it's very difficult, you know, um, have you done yoga? I have. There's a YouTube yoga that I do yoga with Cassandra, but hers is mostly stretching. So I like stretching yoga.

I don't like working yoga. Can you please do yoga? You and Dave too? Yeah. He would do it. Yeah. I would just want to see him do it. Well, he doesn't want that.

He doesn't want to be seen. He can just be off of the screen. I feel like I'm at a position or a point with David that he should be able to allow me to see him. Yeah. Tell him that. I think we're at at that point. I, yeah, I'm definitely open to starting that conversation.

He's really, he, that's like his worst fear though is people watching him try to exercise like he, the thought of like a workout class is just like the, that's his worst fear. I would, I, and he could be doing it perfectly. I don't know why, but he, because whenever I see David, it makes me want to laugh. Yeah. He's funny. He's just a funny, joyful, you know, bundle of joy. And I just know that if I saw him do yoga that I would probably burst into laughter.

I wouldn't be able to stop myself. So maybe not do it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to hurt his feelings. How are you guys doing quarantining? Like, do you guys hate each other?

Do you love, do you spend time together? I'm just curious from other couples, like, what's the vibe? Um, I think that, how do you look at her like that in the beginning of quarantine? It was a giant fight because he still wasn't convinced that he couldn't reconcile with the idea that he was now at home and had to stay home. So it was a big fight and I found myself trying to bait him back home by saying, I'll order whatever you want from wherever you want, or I'll cook this, you know, 10 course meal. But then our therapist said, what did she say?

She's like, you've, she's like, you guys have, she goes, Bobby, you, you guys have a problem if what's making you stay is the pizza rather than her pleading. She's like, that's a problem if, if you care more about the pizza than her feelings. And it's definitely a problem. That's a problem. And I realized that. And so, but it didn't even occur to me after I was like, Oh, um, I just thought I wasn't buying enough fun indulgent stuff for him.

Then, um, so in the beginning, it was contentious, like the first two, three weeks, what did he want to do? He, um, nothing to do. Well, he just eats out every day of his life, you know, and, um, someone on the internet, which I took offense to said that, Oh, you must be a horrible cook if he doesn't want to be home and eat, and the truth of it is he has an aversion to home cook meals because when he was younger, um, dinner time was abuse time. And so that was when a lot of like bad things happened with his parents.

So he doesn't like being in a at home dinner setting that has since changed. I cook every day. We eat together as a family every day. And so there's, um, improvement on that. But I only cook. I also took etiquette class. Like I went to my parents spent a lot of money and I had to do ballroom dancing classes. What?

And etiquette classes. Yeah. Yeah. I was in actually the highway newspaper of me in a ballroom. We have a clipping at my parents' house, but like ballroom dancing, like for a catillion and how to set the, the table and how to sit. I thought that was only real in cartoon. No, no, that was real.

No, it was real. And how to do the thing. He was born in the seventies. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We did that. So being at home, you know, also my dad would go into a drunken rage and throw plates, but

then here I am with the napkin, right? In a skirt. And everything like this. And I would curtsy it, sit there and be proper while my dad takes a butter knife and tries to stab my aunt with it or whatever you might do, you know? So it was like, it was a, it was just a horror fest. Yeah. So you could, you could, even if you had like David Chang, say for instance, cook up the

best feast, he would just go to, rather go to Poughkeeto Moss and say, all right, well, I'd rather be here and eat here. And also my mom, we wouldn't, we didn't like Korean food, my brother and I. So my mom had to cook two dinners. Wow. Wow. Yeah. So that's what I do every day.

Yeah. Two dinners, but we would ask for like, we want chicken pot pie, right? And like my mom would make my dad this luxurious Korean dinner and then we would come to the table and there'd be a bowl with a piece of toast on top, shredded chicken and rice. That ain't no chicken pot pie. But you're supposed to, when you're a kid, eat what's made. Yes. Well, yeah.

I don't like that. Why is everyone born in the seventies? Like they love chicken pot pie. Oh my God, Esther, in fact, we're going to send you home with some pies because we have 80 chicken pot pies upstairs. No, I have chicken pot pie in here. Why? I'll give you one.

Why? They're so good. That's really good. Okay. No, you don't, you don't eat chicken? Not really, no. Oh, does Davy chicken? He does.

I'm going to send it. They're this small. Like tiny. Yeah. He loves chicken pot pie. I'm going to tell, I'm going to, does he like mushroom? He loves mushroom. All right.

And I'm going to tell you how to cook it. Okay. He's going to fucking love it. Okay. Esther, so you, how do you cook? Do you not cook two meals a day because Davy eats meat and you don't? It's like every day is different. I feel like though when we do eat together, like we'll make, we'll, together we'll like

boil a pot of pasta and he'll make himself a meat sauce and I'll make myself a veggie sauce and then it's like kind of fun, like we're both making our own sauce, but we've since started doing takeout again because we're just like, it's too exhausting. Yeah. What do you guys fight about? We don't, I feel like we're in a good groove where we just don't spend time together. We'll like, we like see each other in the hallway and we go on walks. We do walks every night, but we're, we're pretty separate, which I have a couple, couple

friends that are separate too. And some are like, they, they still do a lot together, but I don't know. I, I don't feel bad about it. I like it. It's like we're together all the time at a certain point. I'm just going to hate you because you're the person that's standing right there. So it's going to end like I love him and he's the perfect guy for me in every way, but I'm like, I don't want you like I hide in my room.

I don't know. Yeah. You do a little projects. Yeah. Yeah. Projects. Yeah. Projects.

Do we spend, we do yoga together. We do yoga together. We also watch alone together. Alone together. We watch certain things together. You watch alone together. My show. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

What? No, there's a, I love alone together. What a great show. I watched that by myself. Yeah. I've been on it. I've been on your show. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But why were you so surprised they watched your show? I, because it didn't, I just don't know what that meant. Yeah.

We watch a show alone. There's a show called alone and we watched together. What is it? It's a survival. It's a survival show. But I did watch alone together. Yeah. Do you watch things, do you watch other things separately?

Yes. Oh yeah. We are. Mainly. What I watch is so different from what he likes to watch. Same. What do you watch? I watch, I honestly watch a lot of YouTube or I'll watch like old movies.

I'll burn through like all the old Twilight zones. Like I like something a little old and creepy. And Dave watches like all those like really brilliant smart people documentaries and like every show that comes out that's smart people like, and I don't like that stuff. And so yeah, and so that's actually the thing I feel the most guilty about is that we don't watch things together because I feel like we should be, but I just, we don't want to watch the same things. Why do we have to?

Do you get the, sometimes I feel like there are things I absolutely have to watch alone in order to fully, how do I say, absorb, like there are things where I'm like, I really can't have you watch this with me because I feel like he might taint the experience. So like if it's anything that he hates, anything lovey-dovey, like even if it's a really cool love story, he hates all of it. He doesn't like love stories in like a traditional sense, like two people kissing, he's out. He's checked out. So do you feel like if you're watching that with him, you'll be so aware of how he's

feeling? Yeah. So like when, for instance, when Jules and I will watch like an old Juliana, my niece. Oh, yes. She's staying here? Yeah, she's staying here. Because love stories are not real. No, no, no.

It's so fantasy-like. But we have to hide it. We pause it when he comes back upstairs and we won't watch it until he leaves the room because he always, he'll do drive-by-connet. The young girls watch that shit and they go, oh, that's what love is. It's so romantic, right? Did you hate Brokeback Mountain? I never saw it.

Really? I couldn't see it. It was slow. It's not just that. I don't know why. What? I don't know why, but I just couldn't see it. What?

He hates cowboys. No, that's not it. I don't know. I don't remember what it was, but I just didn't want to watch it. You're afraid your dick would get hard. That's fuck you. Okay, let's watch it and then I hold your dick. All right.

I'll watch Brokeback Mountain. Oh, you know what? I will watch it. I'll cover it over your dick and if I even feel a little tipped, then I'll know the truth. With Brokeback Mountain, at the time when that came out, I was really not doing well in life and I didn't have access to it. I just went, I'll pass on that, but because I think at the time I had to go to a movie theater to watch it.

I wasn't going to buy it. I don't know why, but I want to watch it because I don't have a problem with gay love on television or film. But you have a problem with straight love. That's the point I was getting at. Wait, is Brokeback Mountain two guys that are straight? No. Hooking up?

Well, they're married. Oh, you're married. Yeah. You're talking about straight. No, what I don't like is when I was growing up, right, little girls would be conditioned to believe that that's my knight in shining armor. Yeah, that's bullshit. Like, my beautiful wedding.

Yeah, beautiful. Those aren't the type of rom-coms that I want. But it all feeds into that where I like is, you know, tragedy, love tragedy, you know, like in Dr. Javago at the very end of the movie. You ever see Dr. Javago? No. Is he the doctor that kills people? No.

That's Kevorkian. Oh. A different doctor. Yeah. I love Dr. Kevorkian. That's easy. HMO. Yeah.

It was a movie called Dr. Javago. In the 1960s, it was just a sweeping romantic epic of a movie, but at the end of the movie, you know, he loses contact, I guess, with his lover, Dr. Javago does, and for 20 years, you know, he doesn't know where she is because it was a war that they were separated. And when he's like an 80-year-old man, I guess he's on a bus and he sees his lover three seats in front of him. So he gets up and she gets off of the bus. He gets off of the bus, too, and he's right behind her, and he's trying to tap her on

the shoulder, like, and he misses. He has a heart attack. He dies, and she doesn't even notice, and just she goes around the corner. That's love. See, but see, here's my problem with his. That's your love right there. He finds, he gets these like movies or shows that are not about love at all, but he'll somehow justify it as love in a really complex way so that when I have an issue in the relationship

about, oh, like, we're not showing each other that much affection, he'll be like, well, if you look at Dr. Javago, like, he'll find like, or he'll look at, you know, if you remember saving Private Ryan, and then he'll take, he'll twist it so that it matches what he wants to do in a love setting, which is not love. Like he doesn't want to show, you know, the usual type of love. He doesn't want to express it in a, in a, in a, what he calls a common way. Right. Does that make you uncomfortable?

It's like something like that. I'm like, I get what you, I get it a little bit. I don't think you guys do. I think. You like Micho Black, like that kind of love. No, that's too rom-com-y for him. That's even. I love Micho Black.

It's fantasy. I, that's what I'm talking about. Meet that. I mean, that's a little Hollywood version of what I'm talking about, but I love Micho Black. That's what it is at the end. They can't be with each other. Yes.

Oh, so that's. You know, like happy ending. So is it like house? Like, what are you saying that you're in love with someone else and the fact that you're with Kaleila? That's like, he hopes that I die somewhere along the way and that he, because it's not a reality. It's not a reality.

It's not a reality. You know, but. You like the pain. Yeah, I identify with that kind of pain. Romantic pain. Yes. Yeah. That's.

Yeah. I love listening to sad music. I remember being a young man, listening to sad music, ruling down the blinders on my day off, right? Sitting in a room with, because back then you could smoke in your room. I would smoke cigarettes, drink coffee, listen to super depressing music and just ponder life, sit there and smoke. Were you emo?

Yeah. No, but that's emo. It's not weird that like, then you say all that, but you're also a stand up comedian. Like you sit in sadness, but you are, your job is laughter. It's so weird. It's like, why are, why are we all like that? Because I had a point where I was sitting there when you live like that, there comes to a point where you go, Oh, in this society, you know, you, there's only two ways to do

it. You either stay in that, right? And then with our way, or then you have to join, you know what I mean? Society and sign up for life. Right? Are you like, and so I'm like, I'll sign up for life, I guess. Because I can't, I couldn't bear my parents' disappointment. Yeah.

I couldn't bear. Oh, I also, I had like a lot of resentment toward high school friends who all went to school and they were all become, become senators and shit in my head, you know, are you friends with your high school friends still? My best friend from elementary school, I'm still very close to, and then there's a couple, but I have like my college friends, but not really high school as much. What was high school like? Like, did you wait?

What group did you fall under? I was, well, I did theater and I kind of bounced around like I did the Palm squad freshman year. I just, you know, I wasn't too specific in one direction, but I also, you know, I was kind of a homebody too. I never drank in high school and everyone else did, and I just was really against it because I didn't like that everyone did it and was so excited to do it. So I was like, well, I don't want to.

That was like how I stood out. Yeah. So you've never, have you ever had like a sip of alcohol? No. Ever. Wow. No. Marijuana?

No. Wow. That's Dave? Dave drinks red wine pretty much every night and he'll do pot sometimes. That's it's so weird to find people like you. Yeah. It's not that uncommon anymore though, because yeah, a lot of like my buddy Elliot, there are a lot of people that I know who genuinely don't even have an interest in it.

Well, also it's like there's the common factors for it, right? Like for me, there's alcoholism in my family. Like I have so many, there's so many relatives that have passed away where when I was little I'd be like, what happened to her? And they'd be like, she died in a plane crash. And I was like, I was like, wow, so many of my family has been in plane crashes. Yeah. But it's like now I know it's because they were alcoholics.

So there's that and there's like, and my parents never drank. So I think I just wanted to be more like that part of the family as opposed to the extended drinkers. Yeah. Carlos Mancey was like that too. I get high on live, bro. I don't. You're like, all right.

All right. We got it. I mean, yeah. I didn't cook was like that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Danny, you know, I had another friend like that. Yeah.

I have a question for you guys when you because okay, let's say you're in different parts of the house and you just like really want to cup a glass of water or like a left piece of leftover pizza or whatever, like, which one of you will ask the other one to do it and then or both and how does the other one react because I'll ask Dave, I'll be like, can you put, can you bless? And I was like, can you bring me look at some of the cookie dough and he's always, he'll do it, but he's always like, that's him. But he never has to ask for nothing.

No, no, I don't ever ask you for anything because everything is taken care of. I know, but I'm never like, okay, this is gonna make me mad. So I'm like, Dave, I'm like, Dave, so just, okay, I have never gone, hmm, I want a glass of water. Hey, Lila, give me a glass of water. No, I get my own fucking glass of water. But you always last night, I need three things. This is what she said, because scavenger hunt.

I need three things scavenger hunt is no longer a favor. Very, very good. Keep in mind that I'm already tucked in. It doesn't. I don't keep that in mind. I had done because it's not like a metallic sheet that you're fucking. You could. Hang on.

I had also had. I stopped moving all day yesterday. It doesn't. Just let me finish the story. I clean everything. Can I finish my story? It doesn't matter. I need three things, right?

So at that point, you have to bring out a notebook. It's a quest and a fucking pencil. What is it? Like you're now a secretary, right? You're like, Gus needs to be unfilled. Okay, Gus. Gus is our Roomba. Because first of all, I had to empty out Gus three times.

So this is the third time I had to empty out Gus, right? So Gus needs to be empty again. I just fucking did a 10 minutes ago fucking cause he eats too much. Right? Number two, I want some water and she goes, not just water, it needs to be filled. Okay. That's another thing. When he gives me cups of water, it's always half filled.

I don't understand why he can't just sit there. Two more seconds, two more seconds. She wants specific amount. Eight ounces, a glass. Eight ounces. No, fuck it. All right. So I have to get an hour measuring cup.

I have to fill out the measuring cup. Yeah, I have to get the measuring cup, right? No, I get the measuring cup. You know what I do is when I need, I ask for water, now Dave knows to ask which cup. Because I have to be the specific cup. Yeah. Keep going and loving this. The third thing.

Or he puts it in like a coffee mug and that's not eight ounces. Maybe it's the glass that you need by your bedside. That's just not enough water. If that's not good enough for you, get your own fucking water. And the third thing is I need a halls, which is okay. But now I have to, okay, now, now this is, this is the voyage. Yeah. I gotta empty out.

Guys, go to the trash can, right? Then go to the thing, get the fucking halls, right? Then get the measuring cups, measuring cup, measuring cup, measuring cup. A ladle? Yeah, that's four cups. Okay. Bring it to her, right? And that's 20 minutes.

Interesting. And it's always his face when he brings you what he needs. Oh, it's the best face. You know, I think about the face. He wants to punish you with his. I think about the face when I'm bringing the shit to her. What face am I going to do? Yeah.

Yeah, I love the face. But it's like, and I've never asked for anything. Dave, has Dave ever asked you for anything? Hey, sweetie, can you go get me, you know? It's very rare. Wait, you never? A fruit roll up. You never ask for anything?

I just don't believe that. Oh my God, Esther, I am a glorified bitch boy. I can tell. Go ahead. What have I asked for? Everything. Can you get, first thing, you cried every day when I didn't want to buy a freezer for all your fucking pizzas and pies.

I cried every day. He's like, where's my fucking freezer? And then you know what you did yesterday? What did you say yesterday? She was like, you said this, how many times do I have to ask you to buy me my, what do you call your habanero sauce? I did say that yesterday. How many times do I have to ask you to buy me the habanero sauce?

Hey, you know what I did? While I was asking, she was wearing bare feet. She had bare feet. And I had, I was cleaning. I was doing laundry. And I had my bare foot. I stamped on her. I stomped on her foot and I, she was in the closet.

And I stomped on her foot. I put my hand here so she couldn't escape. And I go, how many times do I have to ask you to get me my fucking habanero sauce? Right. Kumara was mine. Yeah. So he doesn't ask. He demands.

But here's the deal. And he threatens. It's, it sounds so superficial. Right. It sounds so, but no, listen. Okay. I've been asking for that habanero sauce for a fucking month. And every time I said, what's the name?

I can buy it. To be honest, you knew the name the first time. I did know the name. I did look it up and I did tell you, but I said, do not throw the jar. Right. And of all the things that you don't throw around the house for miraculously, you throw a whole habanero company or something like that. But I'm just curious, like, look, I'm just curious.

Go ahead. Is there ever a world where you could yourself order the freezer or the sauce? You know, that's an interesting question. Let's break it down. And I'm going to break that question down. Before he breaks it down, Esther, I will say it's not that he doesn't try. It's just that it always ends up in the wrong address because he doesn't know his own address. Yeah.

Yeah. Hold on a day where I'm like, I don't know how to join clubs online. I don't know how to listen. I don't know how to participate in the online world because I'm old. So one day I'm like, OK, what is prime time? What's it called? Amazon Prime Time. Amazon Prime Time.

I'm going to get Amazon Prime Time. I go, I do it and say, no, you can't do it through this app. You have to go to this other app, sign up for that. You have to go online. I go to the other line. No, you have to do this other Amazon Horizon and then, you know, give all the information and I would do that for three hours. You remember, right?

And also anything that I order, I have fucking two skate shirts. You know, Caballero Bones skate shirt that I ordered four months ago. It's not even here. There's someone in this neighborhood who has $3,000 worth of toys, t-shirts and groceries. Yeah. And have a narrow saw. I tried all of it. I've tried.

I spent thousands of dollars. They just don't arrive at the house. So I'm doing it wrong. Oh my God. One time, Esther, there's this one time and I'll never forget this for the rest of my life. And I'm so glad that my niece, Juliana, was there to witness this whole meltdown. But basically he decided we were on our way to the post office.

I had to mail stuff and he threw a tantrum about what a bitch I was for not helping him out with his prime time because he couldn't sign up for Amazon Prime. And then the whole way down, he was just in a rage meltdown. And I told him, because I think, I don't know what it was. I was like, can we wait till we're done with the windy hills for me to set your account up because I get dizzy when I read my phone and which put him into a deeper rage. Because she did it in spite. She got it done at the end.

No. And I was like, well, wait till the bottom of the hill. Don't wait for the bottom of the hill. And then we'll park and I'll fix your prime time for you. Yeah. And remember that. So I do remember that. And I apologize profusely.

I apologize profusely. But what I'm saying to you is the reason why. The reason why I ask now for a freezer and other things is because I am unable to do it. I don't have the capabilities or the ability to order things. Do you sleep in a bassinet? What's a bassinet? For babies.

For babies. That's my dream. Like I just. Are you calling me a baby? No. Why did you say do I sleep in a bassinet? No. Let me explain.

You have it. You have it so good because you have him completely dependent on you. He can't even step into the real world without you. So you're like you own him and you have it good because you have a full time caregiver. So when did you. Let's talk about your special. So when did you film your special? We shot it in October.

We did four shows and then we did. I shot behind the scenes stuff with my parents over the summer and then some in the fall. And then yeah. And so you shot the special for what did you shoot in Chicago? No, we shot it at Dynasty typewriter in LA. Oh, it's like a very small, cute theater. Cool. Yeah.

So you did a dynasty typewriter and then you filmed it for Comedy Central and now it comes out. I thought Comedy Central was no longer a network, right? Well, that's kind of what that's like the slang. That's like what people are saying out there on the streets, but I it's it's still a network. I think they're going through changes like Viacom in general is, but YouTube TV just added Comedy Central. So it's there and it's going to stream for free like a little bit after and it's going

to be on demand. So there's going to be ways to watch it. Okay, cool. Yeah. And yeah, there'll be plenty of ways to. But like in terms of TV that you can turn, you can turn the TV on and watch it. You can. You can.

Friday, July 17th. Yeah. Oh, wow. So Comedy Central is still around. Yeah, it's crazy that you didn't know that, but also you don't know what Amazon Prime is. So or the Super Bowl. You know, it's funny.

No, it's interesting to me. I'm in trouble that a guest would call the host in that way. But number one, I know what Amazon Prime is. I know what the fucking Super Bowl is, but I say those things, right? That's my character. I pretend that I don't know what certain things are. So I call it different things. People know that.

Jessica Simpson. Shadow play. It's called shadow play. Okay. My moon faced friend. Fane ignorance. I'm afraid of vomiting. Are you afraid of it too?

Or do you just? I number one don't like smelling it. Oh yeah. Vomit is your weak. He can smell poo all day. I love poo. Who is my thing? I love the texture.

I love the deepness of the smell. Umami. Do you have a sensitive gag reflex? Are you afraid of vomiting because you, is it like a full body experience? Yes. Or do you cry after you vomit? It's just like, it's a fear. Like if I felt like I was going to vomit, I would just be so panicked and afraid of

that like feeling of like, it's just scary because you're like no control. And you just, your body takes over. And that's just like frightening. And I don't like it that it's unprocessed. The food. Yeah, it's disgusting. And the poo, it's processed. Right.

It's just brown. Yeah. Right. You know, when you see vomit, there's a variety of colors that are up here. Yeah. Yeah. There's things that some, your vomit would be different from my vomit. In my vomit, I would have pepperoni.

Right. And that would have probably a mochi ball or something. Right. Your vomit would have corn for sure. For sure. Corn. Yeah. Corn.

You know, but I just don't like it. When did your, your special comes out this Friday? Yeah. Friday, July 17th. Our friend Nick Gussin directed it. Oh, can we talk about big ass? He has the biggest ass. Really?

Nick Gussin has a, his legs. He's got, he's thick. He's got. Big bottom. Yeah. His bottoms are just so thick and musculary. Yeah. He, you know, he works for happy Madison.

Yeah. So happy Madison produced it, which is cool. Yeah. We love Adam Sandler and the gang. Of course. Nick's a part of that. Shout out to Gussin. It comes out this Friday on Comedy Central.

You can watch it on YouTube. No. And other stream. YouTube TV. YouTube TV, other streaming platform. Yeah. And, um, I want everyone to watch it because I always, you know what? The first time I ever saw you, I was like, she's got, I didn't, I think I walked out of

the room. I go, yeah, she's got, she's got it. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I remember you saying something like that to me. Yeah. Yeah.

And I always, I just did a podcast where I did standup advice because like, and to celebrate the special. And I think I've been saying this frequently this past week, but if you want the best standup advice, it comes from Bobby Lee and it's just, it's just. Thank you. And it's like, just get on stage because you're so matter of fact. And I just trust you that if there was a secret, you'd tell me. Because you know that it's, it's, it's all about just getting up there.

Yeah. You can convince yourself of a bunch of fears like, I don't want to bomb or I don't have the material. I don't know what to say. That's all just a defense magnet is in your brain. It's really the fear of just getting up there. Yeah. You know, you just have to force yourself to go up there.

That's the biggest thing. And then once you get that over with everything else is just easy peasy, you know? But anyway, um, let's do an unhelpful advice. Hey guys, today's unhelpful advice is brought to you by the Tiger Belly Patreon. Hey, Slip Kingdom. The Patreon is better than ever with more diverse rewards and ever expanding community of people like you. You can check it out by signing up to patreon.com slash Tiger Belly.

If you're not a member, you might be missing out. You'll get access to exclusive vlogs, audio podcasts, live streams and other behind the scenes content you can't find anywhere else. This week, we will let you in with us to see my Bobby first time ever doing yoga. Here are the big papayas from Patreon for the month of July, Jeffrey Jarvis of the Jarvis clan. Welcome, Parvez Beshear from the Beshear baking company from Inglewood. Welcome.

Welcome. We have Jamie Chay Cortez from the franchise department of financial aid. We've got Moon Disco from the U.S. and we all know who he is. Have you ever been in the moon? Or in a disco? In a disco? You'll love him. We've got Rebecca Torres.

She's just a regular person. She hasn't been on the moon. He hasn't been on the moon. Welcome, Rebecca Torres. We have Javis Javis from Singapore. He's the only one by the name of Javis in Singapore. We have Melvin Flores from Flores R Us. They sell other people like him.

We have Bon Johnson. They sell flowers. They sell flowers. They found flowers. Sell flowers. They found flowers all over the place. They also find flowers. Let me just continue.

We have Bon Johnson. Bon Bon to you. We have Rachel Wilkins. She wrote a book called Hello Cha Chi Amigo Goodbye. Love it. It was a great book. It's just long. We have Compliment Pig.

I like Compliment Pig. I remember Compliment Pig. Compliment Pig. Yeah. Yeah. What do you remember about Compliment Pig? Shut up, man. We just remember him.

Shut the fuck up, man. Yeah, you're right. We remember him. We love Compliment Pig. You guys don't remember Compliment Pig? We love him. I love him. Gilby, oh my God.

I cannot believe your memory banks. It sounds familiar now. Wow. Okay. Out of fear, mostly. We like Derogatory Pig, but we don't like Compliment Pig. We like Compliment Pig. If you're curious or interested in seeing more, you can go to patreon.com slash Tiger

Belly. And hopeful advice with Bobbie, Kalyla, and Esther. Greetings. I am a married, straight male, and recently I've started to have sex streams about Bobbie. The most recent one- Stop. The most recent one I had a dream that Bobbie came to visit me. We were hanging out, and the next thing I knew I was naked lying on my belly and Bobbie was sitting on my butt.

We were talking. Then his Toki the Dum Dum voice, he says, okay, who's ready for a beat, Jay? Then boom, wet dream- Wait a minute, did he say Asian accent there again? I added that for flavor. Racist, babe. Fucking racism right there, dude. Okay, fine. We were talking.

Then his Toki the Dum Dum voice, he says- Okay, he's ready for a beat, Jay. No, do it. Is that better? No, do it. I want you to go more Asian, I think. Maybe that's it. We were talking. Then in his Toki the Dum Dum voice, he says, okay, who's ready for a beat, Jay?

Then boom, wet dream. I woke up. Dude, I tell my wife that I am having these dreams and just to also give you a scenario. If Dave really truly came to you, it was like, this is so weird. You were just on Tiger Belly. I was thinking about Bobbie. He sat on my butt and I woke up in a wet dream. Dave says this to you.

How do you like to have that conversation? What would you say? Without freaking out. I don't know. What do you mean? I'm stumped. Bobbie played Dave. Well, okay.

I'm Dave. Hey, hey, Esther. Good morning. Hey, Dave. Yeah. You're awake early. I know. Well, I had poker night and I couldn't sleep because I won.

Did you stay up all night? I did. I stayed up all night. I won in the poker night and I just wrote a script. Is it? Good. Good. Is there a lead character named Esther?

Yeah, fifth lead. Fifth lead. But anyway, honey, I had this weird dream where, I don't know, I was just playing poker online. You know? I got a knock on the door, it was Bobbie Lee and I know we were all of a sudden naked. I laid on my belly and Bobbie sat on my ass. So our asses were touching.

And then he said, okay, are you ready for the Tokido Tantans, right? And are you ready for papiche? And I don't know, we just started 69-ing. Do you? Okay. Do you? Are you attracted to Bobbie? No.

In fact, I kind of hate the guy. Do you want to? Same. Same. No way. I know. We've talked about this. Yeah.

Do you want to fuck Bobbie? No. I just, I don't know why I had the dream. Oh. Okay. That's just a weird dream. Okay. It's, I've had the same dream six nights in a row though.

So I don't know. It's weird. Okay. But you're being honest. You don't want to fuck Bobbie. I don't want to fuck him. I took his dick. No.

So I want to tell this guy. Yeah. Maybe you should stop. Maybe you should listen to other people's podcasts. Yeah. Maybe Variety. Variety. There's other people like Rogan.

The Rogan experience is a pretty good one. What WTF is a good one. Bill Burr has one. Or number two, you know, I, I could see it. Robert De Niro face. You could see what? I could see it. Butt on butt.

Ass to ass. I don't think ass, sitting ass to ass is gay. In any stretch of the image. It's funny. It's funny. I'll do it. We should do it now. I'll do it.

Maybe not during this environment. Oh yeah. I would definitely rather go ass to ass with another woman than a man. Me too. What is the reason for that? It's a hygiene thing. Yeah. Interesting.

So baby, you wouldn't, if I laid down here right now. You wouldn't sit on my butt right now. No, don't do that scenario. Edgar Ramirez has to do a scene with you. Oh my God. So it's not about a man. I would spread my ass cheeks so wide. Just so like my anus could somehow get some, some of his skins on the inside.

Interesting. That's nice. How did you know Edgar Ramirez? Come on. He's going to be the new Wolverine. But I know, but how did you know that was like my old time, old time? You've talked about him all time. Wait, wait, wait.

Edgar Ramirez. He's in the talks possibly. To be Wolverine. Young Wolverine for the new Marvel potential. Not, it's not guaranteed. Wow. I just, yeah, I don't think men wipe as good. They really don't.

Look at George is not even defending himself. I guess we don't. He's getting longer and longer. What you're telling me is this, is if you went home right now and Dave goes, hey, how was the podcast? You went, it's pretty good. It's fun. And she goes, hey, can you eat my asshole right now?

Oh my God. Bobby. Would you eat his asshole? I don't do that to men or anyone. If someone wants to do that to me. Because I've known. Yeah, that's fine. I've done that to you.

I'm fine with that. Okay. You do you. Wow. But I'm not. What are you a fucking princess? That's fucking princess talk. You eat the whole.

Okay. I'm a peasant Esther. I eat the whole. Are you serious? Yeah, I put goggles on and I just go for it because it's just, I don't have respect for myself. I don't either, but I just can't, I just think men are, I don't know. Maybe I'm gay.

I don't know. What if he said, hey, I can you lick the no man's land? He's, this is going to make him so uncomfortable. The taint. Wait, can't do that. The toadies. The taint. Oh yeah.

Yeah. That's, but see, I feel like that's a very safe ish landing strip compared to the asshole. No. I don't know because the no man's land, the taint is, um, it's the land of the unknown because you have the asshole here and then you have the sacks here, right? And those both fluids meet unknown. It's a desolate, desolate place. I don't think it's appropriate to ask someone else to eat your ass.

I think if you volunteer it, yes, totally cool. You know, you are absolutely right, but also it's, it's one of those things where it's like, if you asked someone blatantly, you are some type of psychopath, I think. I agree. Yeah. Me going, Hey, do you want your asshole eaten right now? Totally cool. Yeah.

Totally cool. Right. So you would never go to Dave. Hey, can I eat your asshole? I don't think so. It would be so funny though. Try tonight. See what happens.

Be such a kind hearted gesture if you did, because you know he would say no, right? Yeah, I just, maybe you never asked him and he would say yes. No. Esther's perfect little princess moon face should never see another man's ass. All right. Another man's besides my own. Yes. You can see, you can look at your own asshole all day, but no, you're not, I'm not allowed

to have that image in my head of your perfect little moon face. Well you gave me that image of you now. Oh yeah. I'm, I'm dog shit. I am, I am not. You're my nurse. No. Esther, you know what?

And nurses, what do they have to do? They have to digitally get in there, you know, you have to do a lot. Mm hmm. Esther, you know, you were, um, somebody that we were going to have, but I'm just, this is last minute. Thank you so much for being here. I also just generally feel safe. You're like family to us.

So it's like, you know, um, we want you on this podcast as often as you can do it. Um, I really, I don't know why, I don't know why, but I deeply do have fun feelings for you. Same. And you and Dave, I do, I do. You've helped me so much. Bobby. I'm a good guy.

One of the best. You've both helped me in very different ways. Yeah. But, um, I want everyone to please listen to and watch Esther's special. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. She's so great. It's another potato.

Another potato. And, uh, I want everyone in the room right now to give her a round of applause. Thank you so much. Thank you guys. I love you guys. What's up, Slup Kingdom? I hope you guys enjoyed the episode. Uh, thanks again to everyone over at Tiger Belly Patreon.

If you're a member, you've already seen Bobby's first time doing yoga, which was interesting way for the end. And if you want to join a community of people just like you or help support the show or access all the exclusive content, you can find more at patreon.com slash tiger belly. We'd also like to thank our sponsors, him's giving you their best offer yet and all their hair loss and needs go to forums.com slash belly. To make shit happen, again, Tiger Belly listeners can try ShipStation free for 60 days when you use the offer code belly at shipstation.com today.

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