TigerBelly - Ep 258: David Spade and The Rattlesnake

Episode Date: August 12, 2020

Bobby wears the Sandler collection. David is the man who gave Bobby one line. Khalyla is our resident zoologist. We talk missed connections at Hamburger Hamlet, failed Comedy Store auditions, Moncler money, the Mitzi time limit.    More content: www.patreon.com/tigerbelly See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. You want to find you a better chair for your bath? I want to start backwards. Okay, start backwards. You can start whatever you want. Alright. I actually don't, but I'll just look. I think I do as a problem.

Great problem. I love them. Go start. Five, four, three, two, one. Oh, I'm in a good mood. I'm in such a good mood today because I'm with my friends and family. Family. Is he starting?

This is me starting, but don't say your name. Don't talk. Exempt from the rules. Don't talk until I say. I say your name. Okay. So anyway, what we got here is a very beautiful situation. We're doing our podcast here via Los Angeles.

I don't know what the date is, but last night I had massive diarrhea because I had her niece, Jules, who lives with me. Bad Rudy, some of you guys know her cook me a dinner. And then last night, all night long. And it was like burning and it was a sleepless night. And Kaleila thinks that is from the pink barrier. I got because I'm lactose, lactose intolerant, intolerant. But I'm going to blame Jules for it because she made me a bacon egg.

Who eats bacon and eggs and kimchi for dinner. But I guess Filipinos do. It's classic. Yeah. So that's what happened last night. And, but, and then I binge watched all the spec loves love on a spectrum. Oh, fuck, man. Wait, you finished.

I saw, I saw all of it, man. It was what a great show. What a funny show. But that's not what today's all about. Today's not. What's it about? Today's all about, I'm going to say something. Okay.

Yeah. About 20 years ago, maybe 23 years ago, it was a very long time ago. I was broke and I went, I was, um, there was used to be a hamburger Hamlet by the comedy store. And it was during the day and I was at the hamburger Hamlet. And I see this next guest sit down with his agent. I don't know who it was. And I remember being like, just being like, like my, you know how you,

you're a fan and you get tingles and then you get like, you can't move. So I couldn't even enjoy my hamburger. I'll get him later. He's a piece of shit. But, um, but what, what I, when I saw, and so then I'll go, I wonder if I'm a comic too. I wonder if I'll ever meet the guy. And then, you know, we became friends. But, um, he was, um, I think part of the best generation of SNL groups.

You know, there was, there was a couple of groups that were like huge. And his group was like huge, you know, you know, back, back in the day, you had the original acroid, you know, Bill Merrill, all those guys. And then, um, but I think that this is that this, his group is the second wave of SNL that really I grew up with. And, um, I was also, he gave me one line in his movie. The wrong miss. I really appreciate it.

I really appreciate the one line. And, um, And so he also has, um, a television program on the comedy central called Lights Out. He's in a million movies. Um, and I, I love him so much. He's also done love. I was on love.

Um, everybody, run real applause for David Spade. Everybody. Everyone's on the hedge of their seat. Yeah. David. Well. Yeah. What's the matter?

No, I'm doing good. I was just thinking, um, we did, we did do love. We did do love. We do scenes in love. We didn't do no scenes. I just came in, I think the last season it was, it was fun. I thought that was a cool show. Yeah.

Yeah. Very funny. I'm sort of, I was bummed. I didn't get to do more of those. I like that. Well, that's how I actually, the first conversation I think I ever had with you was at a love like rap party. Do you remember that?

That's where I met you. That's where we met you. We were going up or down the stairs to that one place. Remember that? It was that one lobby. You had to go. Parking spot. You had to go up and then you.

And you were right at her butt. I remember. Oh yeah. And Bobby was like. Oh. And in this party there was a couch that moved over and then you walked down some stairs. It was like a secret. Yeah.

Was I without a me get maybe? No. You're with cool Hollywood. Yeah. Cool Hollywood. Yeah. Cool Hollywood. Do you know who I was?

Who? Who did I bring? Do you remember? I don't know. I don't remember. I don't know them. I remember did love, but that's, those days are over. What happened to your back?

Did you know you had a show today? What? Did you know you had this show today? Yeah. Why? Why? Why? Why?

Because my Uber Eats guy dressed better. I know, but you're. I like these little flaps and then you got your sweats cut off. Yeah. Yeah. Is this from the Sandler collection? Why doesn't Sandler have a clothing line? He should have a clothing line.

You really should. For the regular guy. Yeah. The regular millionaire. Yeah. Why not dress as homelessly, right? Yeah. Yeah.

It's his charm. It is his charm. I'm somewhere in the middle. You dress like a catty. I always thought if I, I thought if I made money, I would be wearing suits every day. Yeah. I thought as a kid, that would mean, because, you know, every ad a guy's got a suit on. I don't know why I never did.

I don't know. I sort of just stopped here with the catty shirts. Yeah. But this shirt's good. Green's good on me. No, you do look good in green. I beat you to it, but you were going to maybe say something. I keep looking at the camera.

Yeah. Can I, can I tell you something about you? Rolex? What'd you ask me? Oh, no. 80,000. What'd you say? I couldn't, I can't hear because it's a plexi.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm kidding. Yeah. Go ahead. But I, I have to say, because I've met many people from your generation on SNL. Are we that far apart? Big generations. You could be anywhere from 20 to 100.

I know. No idea. I know. You know, I've had a couple of years maybe older than you. Yeah, I'm an older than you. No, no, no, no. That's all I'm saying. What I'm saying is, is that, and people talk about this, people have said this to me before,

but there's something, there isn't, you know, this Hollywood thing that you do. You're just a really, just kind of a nice guy. Have you always been like that? Hopefully, from my mom, but hopefully because I've always had, you know, those hard jobs and grew up without money, so as a valet, I was a busboy, I was a dishwasher. So those are the kind of things I relate to more in life, and I think the people that do those I relate, I relate to having the rich people coming to me assholes or just ignoring whatever.

Yeah. So I'd rather, no one would ever think you'd be successful in any way when you're doing that. You don't think, well, if I ever get money, because there would be no chance I would. So suddenly when you're in that position a little bit where they know you or you're just being someone in their world, just don't make their life any shittier. It's already hard. Every job I had, I hated.

Everybody that came in, I'm like, please don't make it harder. So if you tip them a little extra, just nice to them, just be normal, and then just something off their plate, they don't have to worry about. So if you do that a long time, that does pay off a long time as far as just overall general reputation, and it's part of my mom. Today I was at lunch and then I sat alone on like a five-top, it was like a patio, but no one was there. So I put my hat down to claim it, and then I come back and there's a, and then there's

like regular booths, a little smaller, but there was five people with a baby. And I was going to give it my booth. But did you? Oh, I should have. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but I said you guys want to switch, and they were nice. So in my head, of course that was my mom, we matter if I didn't do that, but in my head then I think, oh, if they ever in their life, they see you once in their life, then they

go, oh, it was a nice experience. You weren't being in a, whatever. But you're not, you're just doing it, you're not thinking about it. Right, I didn't do that out of anything. Yeah, you just do it. Well, you're supposed to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, obviously you have more people sitting here.

I just, I didn't know anyone was coming in here. But I did something the other day that I thought you would laugh at, I was thinking the way over here. Well, we can talk about the wrong message because that's funny. The wrong message is so funny because how fun it was that you were there and it was so mad. First of all, I didn't hire you. I just said, Bobby Lee's great.

I saw you were in it. I go, oh, Bobby Lee's great. I wouldn't have given you one line. Now it worked out. Didn't it work out because of who I am? It really, yes, it did work out. Don't jump ahead, don't jump ahead. You're giving me the don't jump ahead one.

I'm not. I'll just say, Bobby Lee was in the wrong message. Oh my God, a few people remember it. And thank you. I remember doing it because I was sort of the straight man in it. And so we were in Hawaii and I think it was great, but it's a movie still a grind. No one would even believe you that when you're doing anything at 5 a.m. every day, you don't know if anyone's going to watch it.

You just go, oh, it's like another job. I hope to God, anybody sees it, but you're doing it out of sequence. And Lauren's being funny every day and I'm thinking, if this shit is funny like I think in it, she's pretty funny. She's really funny. But I don't know. We laugh and then I think everyone's like, are you in that stupid movie? I'm like, we was so funny when we shot it.

Because I've done so many where we think it's, there's a couple. There's a couple. We think are funny and we do it and it doesn't work. There's some I do and I know it's not funny when I do it. It just loses something from when you read the script to when they do a rewrite to when you're on the set. You read it from an R-rated movie to a PG, it's already less funny. Then they cast somebody weird and then the editing, you just, it just deteriorates.

So sometimes you don't really go out to do a movie. It doesn't work, but it can happen along the way. So that one was more low expectation and I didn't know Lauren, but I saw her audition tape and I'm like, she's great. Like everybody liked her and she comes out and she's scoring so hard and they're giving her so many takes like do a little drunkard, do a little sexier, do a little meaner and then she just like has three seconds and they go rolling and then they have to think, okay, has a new way to do it.

Make up whatever you want. That kind of thing. So the really, the heavy lifting was on her and I was just sort of reacting, which is fun too. It's not fun, a hundred takes, but it's fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is she doing? That's all crazy.

But then when we had you there, it's always fun when someone comes in that you know because we're all always there and Sandler was there that day and Sandler's kids were there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the kids seen over to you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and when you, well, did you ever talk about it on here that you, well, I have a little bit, but so what happened was, I don't know what happened, but well, no, I, in the

beginning it was because I flew in, I went and saw Nick, remember, I went to see Nick on set. Say hello. Yeah. I don't, I don't think you remember that I was there. Yeah. It was, it was early and there was something else going on. There was a haze.

Let's just say that. And see, you know what I mean? Makes sense. Yeah. When I went in this way and the other was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so then, and then I saw you and then I saw Lauren at the hotel and she was super sweet to me. Did you know her?

No, but she just walked, I was sitting on the curb and she just walked up to me and she goes, I'm Lauren, you're Bobby. Let's be friends. That kind of thing. Yeah. You know what I mean? So I was like, oh, I like this girl. And then, so I show up.

It was nice to everyone. Yeah. But Sandler has a thing where I just get a little intimidated. I would do. I couldn't see that when you were there because he first he has kids. We walked through the kids to get to you. So it was all sort of together in one scene and she's screaming at Sandler's kids. Fuck you.

It's hysterical. And I'm like, why isn't she worried about this? Because Sandler was down the set at the beginning. That was it. But he's over there with his coffee by video village and I'm like, she's yelling at his kids. Bobby's next. And then he would run in like a way to do it or notes or something and it just upped

the pressure. Yeah. I know, because you were, okay, now the scene is I'm a hotel guy, right, clerk. So David is in front of me. So I know David, right? And I know him as we've had dinners. I know him as a kind, gentle guy. So I'm looking at him and then after the first take, I could see in my peripheral Adam coming

to me, right? And he comes up with a note that, you know, I think it was more like either I don't believe it, you know, your hotel clerk. I don't believe, yeah, I don't believe what you're saying, you know what I mean? And, you know, I do it real horrible. Then he's walking away and you're like, yeah, what is that? Yeah. And I'll, and you could tell that I'm spinning.

Yeah. Right. And so I do it again, which unfortunately made it even more hysterical because it was too great. Your misery was so shot through the roof that me and Lauren were like, oh my God, this is so awkward that he has to do it. And he's, and then he flubbed it again and they're like, and then every time we start giggling going, we got to shut up because this poor fucking guy right here, you know,

80 people in the set waiting and he's like, welcome, Morris to the Olani Conny hotel. And they're like, what the, and I'm like, what the fuck was that? And I'm just trying to make it worse for you. Yeah. And we'd all. Yeah. So they're playing into it too. Yeah, because we think it's so funny.

It's like, as time goes on, I'm, you know, no, I'm also kind of dying inside. Yeah. Because I'm like, I think I did it the right, that time, and then they do it again and you're like, I have no idea how to do it different. Yeah. And so, but then it got to the point where I would look at you and you would let go like you would whisper things to me, you know, which was really kind of trying to be nicer to calm me down.

You had to calm me down because it's too, after a while, it's too rough. I'm like, you don't want to be in this. That's funny for all of it. Then remember when Chris and Sarah Chalk would walk in and start laughing before they even got in? And I'm like, if he gets it just once, and we'd be in the scene, we'd hear you behind us and we'd all start going. And then we'd see Sand like I'm running the corner and I go, no, not another visit from

Sandman. I know, I know. It's sickening. But then when did you do the one where, where I was checking out? Was it the same day? It was the same day. Yeah. That went better.

I did love when you. Fuck. But that was out of frustration. But that's right. Wotowski was there. Wotowski was there. Yeah. Sarah Chalk.

Wotowski. So I knew, I've worked with Wotowski many, you know, on love. Yeah. Knew her. Sarah's sweet, sweet girl. But what happened was, I went to the hotel, had dinner, and I got, you know, a series, no, a series regular, but a reoccurring on Magnum. Where are you going?

He's heading out. He's done. He's there. No, I'm just spinning around. Yeah, yeah. Let me think of. I went to Dubai. Don't worry about me.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What happened to your back? Is your back okay? It's fucked up. What happened? Then I had to drive. I went to Malibu today and then I drove back and then I was like, switched cars.

That's what I do sometimes. I have two cars. They're both crummy. Uh-huh. One's a 95, one's a 2,000. But I just switched because it's better my back to switch, mix it up. So then I had to get back over the hill, I go, all right, Bobby lives in the fucking shitty area.

So I was just thinking to myself, I was like, oh, I have to go to that crummy fucking place. How am I going to walk through this? I drink before, during, or after? I'm improving. Yeah. And back to the wrong message. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We went to dinner at Nobu or something.

I think me and you and Chris went to Stripstake. You took me to Stripstake. That's all. When we go to Hawaii, that's the only place he takes me now. It's so good. I am so in love with Stripstake. Yeah. Michael Mina.

Yeah, Michael Mina. Damaged good. Yeah. And we, okay, go ahead. No. But then we go to Nobu after that. We never did Nobu in Hawaii. Who was the guy from Hawaii 5-0 came to our table?

Alex. I don't know. I was. So you weren't there? I wasn't there. No. That's how I thought it happened. No.

No. That's probably why. Different shows. Because I was thinking, why 5-0? Because they had the booth next to us, this kid on that show and his producer, and then they came and talked to us or whatever. And I thought, oh, I was at Bobby and that's how you got it. I didn't know.

No, you know that hotel that we stay in? Yeah. What is that hotel called? Aloha Lani. Aloha Lani. And close? Yeah. Yeah.

I didn't like to buy a vowel. And there's a, what's that restaurant connected to it? Bobby. Oh, the Morimoto. Morimoto. I don't know what to say. Bobby. Is it the one in the hotel?

Yeah, in the hotel. It's not a great restaurant. Got a good view. Yeah, I like that one. So I was sitting at the bar there and I think I had wonton soup or something and there was a Chinese guy, an Asian guy sat next to me, just some young guy, and I, and he just, he was. Is that what you ate?

Some young guy? And he just was staring at me and I go, what's up? And he goes, um, hey, I'm a writer and producer on Magnum Pia, I'm a huge fan, can I write you a part? Whoa. And I go, yeah, I needed that because let me tell you something. My Chinese friend. I'm on the wrong mess.

I'm on the wrong mess. I got fucked by these. No, but dude, that saved me. So you flew back and did a couple, right? Four. And in this season, they're going to, they've already write written, if they would do another season. And they're picked up, but we don't know because of the pandemic, but they've already written

three, you know. That's a show like they never stop doing, right? Yeah. And it's just, that's a gift. But I wanted to ask you a question and the question is, why is it when you have dinner with David Spade and you show up at the restaurant, you had already ordered everything on the menu and it's sitting on the table. God, that's too, that's too much exactly what I do.

It's so polite. If anyone hears it, they go, oh, I know. Because the real story is, I don't drink until I eat and a lot of my friends like to drink for a while then eat. I have to eat first and then I can drink, so I'll fucking block out. So I want to get the shit going. So I go, give me some food in me and then I can start drinking. And my other buddy's like, take your time.

They think the food is the end and then they just go home, so they stall. I eat and then I want to hang out in bullshit and when you, I think Chris came. But they knew me by then. So right when I walk in there like, here's your tuna tart, here's your tuna tart, I think that was one of them. Real good. Beats out. Oh.

God, they were fucking killing it. I want to go back, but there's a quarantine out. I know, man. I go, I'm good, man. I don't know about anything. I also think that Rob's nice, but I think your Ted, I like Rob a lot. He's done our podcast. We've had him on here.

Has Rob done our podcast? Rob Schneider, I love you, but there's a fondness and it's funny because your generation of dudes, not that you're old, I am getting old and not that you're old, but what I'm saying is that, you know, when they come to the comedy store, they generally don't befriend the younger guy. They just kind of do their own thing, but you were able to acclimate yourself, right? And become amongst the group, right? Which is, I think, like I said before, you're just inherently nice, and it's not as if you

have an agenda or anything like that. You just do that, and I just find that interesting because I think that's why you're always relevant. Well, thank you. I think growing up doing stand-up, I hope when a Seinfeld or a big actor would come into town, I was in Arizona. If you're open middle on the road or you're a headliner, it was all sort of like, not the same, but everyone would just bullish it.

And so whenever you're on the road, you're like, hey, I just work with this guy. Who is your middle? Oh, this guy. And everyone sort of knew each other over the years. And you just realize you're all in the same racket now, but there's like a fraternity club to that that you just sort of, with comics, I start liking them until proven otherwise. So I'll just say, hey, man, hey, man, until someone rubs me wrong or they don't like me or whatever.

But overall, I will start by being cool because when I was on the way up, people were pretty cool and you just wanted them to, hey, tell me about being a headliner or ask questions about shit. So it's fun because usually when you talk to, you start bullshitting about some comic you work with or do you know this guy and you know some of their jokes, you talk about them, repeat everyone other's jokes. It's fun. I like that.

So I like the comedy world. Adam Egan brought me into the comedy store because I saw what he does because you should do sets here. I never did a set there because I auditioned before SNL and I didn't get it. Oh, with Mitzi? I auditioned when I was 20. Mitzi? And Mitzi said, now, Louis Anderson got me in.

Cut the tape. What happened was, no, Louis got me in and he just knew Schneider or something. I knew Robin. He got me an audition and he walks out the sidewalk right there on Sunset and I'm like so nervous and he goes, yeah, she didn't like you know, god damn, and I thought I did good. Funny boys got me in at the improv, which is comedy team. And they said, they told me to start getting spots. So I said, okay.

So anyway, that's how it started. But I never went back to the comedy store because of that. Yeah. You know, Steve Harvey one time I saw him walk in because he was doing like Fat Tuesday, which was a, you know, it was called Fat Tuesday. I know. It was on Tuesday. It was on Tuesday nights and it was and there's, I'm going to say this word and I don't want

to get in trouble for it. But this is what they call it. Well, don't. No, it was called Urban Comedy Night. Whoa. That's what I was called. I can't believe you said that. It was called.

They also have Chocolate Sunday. Exactly. Right. Whoa. I didn't prep. I didn't prep you, but that's what they have. Is it the belly room? It was no.

It was the main room. I remember it was the side work and all these guys. So I remember Steve Harvey can't walk into the building and he spit on the wall of down the hall. I'm not kidding you down the hallway. He goes, fuck this fucking club. Fuck Mitzi Shore. Try to audition for this fucking bullshit.

So people have, you know, when Mitzi ran it this resentment. I was at a, I've said this before I was sat next to Mitzi during a showcase and this guy came out, he was killing, right? And admitted in, she goes, line him. He doesn't have it. And I go, Mitzi, that's Louis C.K. has his HBO special. He was just doing like a jazz spot. Yeah.

No, he was showcasing. Oh. And she looks at me and she goes, he doesn't have it. Oh boy. I go, he doesn't have what? No talent? Yes. You know what I mean?

I mean, it was. I know. I know. He's so, he was so funny that night, but Mitzi is just. I never met her. I never saw her in my life. Yeah. She was in the back or wherever that was, pitch black fucking dirty comedy store, which it

might get a good scrubbing while they're at, Adam, while you're in there, let's get the scrubbing bubbles in there and really give it a. But do you like the club? I do like it because I never really, out of resentment, I didn't know anyone. I didn't know how to get spots and I just said, fuck, I wish I had a place to practice. And then I met Adam through whatever and then he goes, there's a come down. So I went down and he goes, I'll give you a spot whenever. So I walk.

He goes, just come in whatever. So I went in one night and he goes, just go next. And then I came in a week later, he goes, just go next. And then I go, I don't want to bump. Then I was turning into bumping and I go, I'll just tell you ahead and you just throw me on the lineup and then I don't want to be one of these guys. So because you were one of those people that like, because we had the same old fucking thing before Adam, because I've been there since 1995.

Oh, really? Oh yeah. I was a doorman. I did the whole fucking thing. Oh shit. Okay. Yeah. So it's like when I'd seen the same acts for 15 years, she never invited new people

in. Right. He put it together. A good squad. Oh my God. He brought it. Because those lineups are. Those lineups.

Probably his chair, like whenever you sit on it, it just starts to spin this way. You want a green one? No. Okay. Looks pretty good. I'm going to try to jam it so it doesn't keep spinning. Yeah. Whatever.

Yeah. Back to this. Can you hear me now? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What are you doing, George? Moving the camera.

Yeah. Those lineups are insane. When does this chair need to be back in the fucking attic? When does it need to be back on the fucking streets and someone picks it up? Is that a Kia? No. I've been bitten by 30 fire ants living in the back of foam. They've got cats.

So I will say the lineups are good, but Bobby Lee is very funny and Bobby Lee is a fan favorite of all the comedians and very tough to get close to Bobby Lee though. We are friends, but he does, this plexiglass is an analogy what you put up. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yes. Yes. Number one, okay. Wrong.

How? She gets it. I agree. I fully agree. Okay. I just want to say defend myself real quick. Okay. That's me backing up.

Mm-hmm. All right. That, you know, whenever you text, I respond. That's true. Yeah, that's true. Okay. And that's... I was going to say that's not true, but there's a couple of times when you didn't and then

you go, I don't text or call people back. I go, hmm, that's a great policy. That's it. Yeah. And then... Oh, do you have more school? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And who's worse? Me or Oliver Hudson? Oh, yeah. He's gross. Really? Yeah. I mean...

Yeah. He's bad. Yeah. He's pretty bad. In fact, he texted me today. I'll show you what he texted me and I did not respond because I know that he wouldn't respond to my text. But here's his...

That's a good name. God. He texted me today at 2.44, I need you on daddy issues. Oh, that's his... Oh, his show. Yeah, his show. His other show. Yes.

Oh, he has a show called Daddy Issues? Yeah. With Joe Buck. Oh, I thought he had literal daddy. I'm not fucking kidding you. Oh, that's why the show is called that. I did it. You did Daddy Issues?

He jumped the line in front of you. Did he... Is it through Zoom or did you have... Like, anybody who wants to do a podcast, I go, I got to do Bobby Lee first. It's only fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's only fair to look through the system. I want to get back to why you think it's tough to get close to Bobby.

Well, there's a certain guard up to not be... Now the COVID thing is like a fucking gift for him because now he can't go to dinner because he can't leave the house. So I've asked him to go dinner and then I gave up because I'll go, I got Adam Egan, I got Theo or Tim Dillon, I go, you want to cruise? And then I just stop because the answer will be no if there's an answer. And he goes, I don't do that, eat, go to dinner, hang out. But I will see him at the store.

So if there's a reason, this is a store. Stop. Stop there. I'll have... I'll say one. Okay, go ahead. You're not wrong. And I think he likes to exist in people's lives in bursts.

Okay. So he wants to... I'll take anything I get. He'll give you himself in bursts of an hour every two weeks, but he has this fear that any longer than an hour, you're going to stop liking him. I get that a little bit. Am I right or wrong? Heavy, man.

Okay, no. Here's the... All right. You know who... There's this black... Black eye, I know. Just say black eye. Great one.

Oh, my God. Why did you have an aneurysm right now? I know. No, because I just don't want to get canceled. I'm just trying to figure out how to say something. Too late. It's too late. It's too late.

And it's fucking over. I know what... Black eye. Yeah, yeah. And David's paid laugh. I don't want to be the guy. I'm not laughing. Go ahead, you hate it.

So I know a guy named AJ Jamal. Yeah. All right? Okay. He used to be on... He had... He did one season on In Living Color. Okay.

Wait, hang on. Is the fact that he was black important irrelevant to the story? Oh, God, helping with the canceling. Yeah. No. Okay. You're canceled. But maybe you want us to picture him.

You know that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, AJ Jamal. Okay. So this has to do with Mitzi. So when I first moved to Los Angeles, I was a doorman.

And so I was a doorman at the La Jolla Comedy Store. And Paulie goes, did you should door up here, brah. So I go, I have no money, but okay. So I saved up like a couple hundred bucks. I took my truck up there and I moved up there. You know, I had a fucking pillowcase full of clothing, no money, I show up and then I'm now working the door. Do you have an act?

No, I have like five minutes. Okay. Yeah. I like five minutes. So all doormen have an act? Yeah. Okay. And so I see Mitzi walk in one day and she goes, oh, you're that Chinese guy from Hawaii.

I go, yeah. And I get in cancer. Yeah. And then after the brief conversation, she just walks away and Aji Jamal pulls me inside and he goes, I don't want to do an impression. So that's my bad. It's stupid. Am I being dumb?

Am I being dumb? Am I being dumb? Yeah. So he goes, hey man, don't have a conversation with her longer than five minutes. I go, why? Because she's going to reveal things about yourself that you're not going to like. And also you might say something that's going to forever damage the relationship, right? So I only did five minute pockets with Mitzi, right?

And I think I use that for some reason, that approach to just people in general, because I have defense mechanisms. But you don't know this, but I probably have had more dinners with you than most people. I know we've had only dinner three to four times, right? But that's way more than anyone else. You don't break bread with anybody. I don't break bread. And also how much, how highly do I talk about it?

Yeah, you are nice. But I see it at the store and you're out there in the hallway, so we get to shoot the shit there. Yeah. But I also want, listen, the pandemic, like that last one, listen, the last one you called me about is that you had Theo coming over for dinner for the fights or something, right? And you know, we, you know, this understandable. But if it wasn't because I'm a huge UFC fan, and if it wasn't for the pandemic, you know

what I mean? I would have 100% because I the joy of hanging out with you and Theo, right? And watching the fights would have been fucking amazing. It's fun. Yeah. When in 2021 that we're both alive and they find a vaccine, right, that I would, you know what? I'll harass you.

Well, it's funny because we don't go to the store anymore, so it's fun to go bullshit at dinner. Yeah. So we have a drink or Theo doesn't drink. Yeah. We just sit there and bullshit, watch the fight and make fun of it. Make fun of anything. And he's fucking funny.

He's like, I knew this kid that had a really big ribs. I heard that one. Shit all night. It's always funny. Yeah. It's me fucking cracking. He's such a funny guy. And then Tim Dillon's like, you know why you should be in jail?

And I'm like, oh, you know, he has a lot to say, which is hilarious. Yeah. I don't even know him that well. I just started to. Yeah. When I was in Palm Springs, I went over to his place. He's got a cool place down there and just shot the shit just for fun, you know, just fun to bullshit.

Why not? Because everyone I like is smart, funny comics. So that's who I gravitate to. Because those people are fun to bullshit with. And they're usually along my lines. I see the scar. Sometimes I see. Well, whoever I've already said, but you know, I know a lot of people just from recently

or they were on my show. The show is canceled. By the way, you know what? I didn't. Nice. You didn't say something, but it is. No, no, no, no, no. But it isn't just Comedy Central.

I thought because comedy was done down. Yeah. So it's like, I didn't want to like. No, it was nice. You sort of know. But just let me defend myself again is that I went when I found out that Comedy Central was done and it was the same time when I found out that your show wasn't happening anymore or whatever.

Yeah. And so I thought it was all a part of the same umbrella. You mean, so it's instead of like texting you and aquafina, you know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, sorry about your show. Just I thought the network did it. It was sort of spoon fed to me that way. Well, it was it was kind of like it's coming from Viacom not Comedy Central.

Because Comedy Central, I think, wanted to go out and shop it and try to sell it. What an odd situation that that's where I'm getting let go. But they. So there was something a little shenanigan, some monkey business going on. I didn't know exactly what was going on, but I just knew, listen, if it's done, it's done. It's a little jarring because it was going pretty well. We having a good time. And then we went into the sort of a bunker version like this and did it for a while.

And it was fun, but it's going to a version of that will land some more soon. Because I watch your Instagram feed and I love that, you know, I always watch every video that you have on there. Thank you. And I just think that that's the wheelhouse. I mean, you're a great actor and all that, but I think you can do that. I like that. And, you know, I popped you a like about a year ago.

Did you get that? Remember, you were doing Cart Wizard on the house when you found out. Um, are you, are you mad because I never did it show? No, you did something for us. I sent a video, but you sent a video sitting in, but me and Santino did your pilot. Yeah, that helps. No, and we bomb remember, we thought we, you have to understand, we thought we ruined your show.

That show. Yeah, but I'm at least smart enough to know it was sort of a weird night and yeah, yeah, but I know it didn't bother me. I was like, bring them on again. It's going to be a thousand percent difference. Yeah, but we went to our cars and we literally almost cried. Yeah, I know. It's so gross.

Yeah, yeah. But I would never hold that against you and everyone in the room was like, tough night, tough crowd practice shows, whatever. Esther was on the same. Oh, she was? Yeah. And she killed it. Yeah.

She got good laughs. I don't remember, but I do know we did all those test shows and I met a lot of funny people and everyone usually would come there and bring something. It's a hard show to do actually. Oh my God, I can't imagine. You sit and you got it, it moves pretty quickly. It's not like bullshitting like this, which is ideally the fun way to do it. So if I did something else, I'd probably slow it down a bit so you can just talk.

We also love the fact that our girl, Candace Thompson, I love Candace. We love her. She's always a crack up in the writing room. Yeah, she's our girl. For those folks at home. She's a writer on the show and she comes on sometimes. Great standoff. Yeah, she's done our show.

She does the fact belly. Before you go, we're not done, but I want to ask you about just briefly go ahead. I'm going to text people. Keep asking. Oh, my God. Oh, God. No, I just I've I smoked so many cigarettes today since I woke up because I was nervous about Dave coming.

You know, I've been wanting you on this podcast for so long, but I didn't want to wait a commercial that I waited until we could open up and have guests on. Oh, because I was going to call it in. You were going to do a zoomie zoom, right? Oh, and didn't you say let's wait? I wanted to wait. I needed you. That was the one you answered.

Yes, that's the one. How did you get SNL? Oh, I have to I'm a huge fan of a change. I wrote a book. I wrote a book. I read a book called I from New York. Oh, you did? Yeah.

Yeah. Ah, maybe they just talked about. Yeah, they talked about it. Is that where we all is the whole book is just us talking like quotes of cast members? Yes. Like it'll go Jim down. Yeah, I think you were in it. Talk.

Yes. Adam Sandler performed. And there was, you know, you hear nightmarish stories in the book, right? So I always I want to, you know, I think we asked Rob the same thing. Right. He just moved it. He just moved to Arizona. Where I'm from, not to change subject, but he's moved out there and he goes, hey, you

love out there. I'm over there. I go, oh, if you want, I got a guy that could show you around. Right. No, I live here. You were just moving there one second. And then he goes, no, I'm here. Yeah.

And he goes, fucking hot as shit, man. What do you do? I'm turning. Maybe the camera should be in front of me. More over there, you know, I sort of split between you guys. So maybe you put it there. Yeah. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't do podcast. Don't listen to me. So, but my chair keeps spinning this way. Yeah. So that's where you get it. You know, my, you know, my mom lives in Gilbert, Arizona. Oh, yeah.

I know where that is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's where I grew up.

But Gilbert's pretty close. So, so Schneider goes, hey, uh, first it's really hot. We know he'd be moved at the worst time. And then he goes, hey, my wife got bit by a scorpion. And Arizona bar scorpion. Bit by a scorpion already. Like within a month. That's pretty quick.

Yeah. And those scorpions are deadly in Arizona. The bar scorpions. Scorpions are scary. I, I, um, I was, when I got some money from a old Tommy boy a long time ago, I went bought a house in Arizona and I had, uh, and it was called a model house. So they show you, this is the house they show you and if you want them to build one, I didn't know that.

But every extra amenity, in case you want it, like, oh, it's got the sleek this, a little fountain in the front. You have to add that if you build one. Yeah. And I go, how about this one? And they go, oh, well, we can sell you this one, but we have to show it for a year. And so they worked out of you where I buy it and then they ran it back for me for a year because I was doing the show.

I was like, I don't care. Yeah. And then I'll have every amenity. Why? That's what I thought. So, so I did it and then they had to build a hundred houses around it, right? Yeah. And then the bummer was when I finally moved in, they're breaking ground in the desert

around. So all the scorpions come to me. Oh. So I found 18 in two years. 18. And you know, there's way more. These are the ones that are out, you know, they're the ones that have the balls are like, oh, it's like a Pixar movie, he is here.

So I was on a speakerphone once talking to some lady friend and I'm in my boxers and my bare feet. And then I go, whoa, whoa, hang on. Oh, I say, I got a scorpion coming right at me. And she goes, what? I got a scorpion. I got to jump off. And she goes, oh my God.

I had a ladybug on my shower curtain and I go, um, I'm going to die and you almost had good luck. Can scorpions kill you? The Arizona bars are like one of the most poisonous ones. And then on top of that, Arizona has the recluse and then they have the recluse spiders there. Oh yeah. They have the recluse.

Cause I used to live in Vegas and we used to get the similar scorpions out there. You'd get a ragtag team from Arizona out there. Dude, I would, if you said, would you really get by bit, bit by rattlesnake, scorpion, wolf spider, which is a brown raccoon or a black widow, here's the order I would take to regular, to get bit, scorpion, rattlesnake, black widow, then wolf spider. I don't know if that's really, I don't know if that's really, it depends what kind of rattlesnake. Cause some are less like the Pacific rattlesnake, maybe not different.

Why does she know everything? She's fucking bright. Side winders, diamond back. Not the diamond. That's what we had mostly. Side winders and diamond back. Okay. So you're saying you would first get bit by a scorpion.

And I wouldn't, I probably wouldn't go to the hospital. Where are you getting bit? It depends where. Nutsack. If I get to pick, no, let's say you're foot, that's usually, they're in your shoes a lot. Okay. So scorpion first, rattlesnake. What's your third?

Black widow. What used to be black widow was last, but if you throw in wolf spider, I would, reckless would be my last. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's why I said black widow, even though black widows will fuck you up, but I would still say wolf spider last cause they cave in your skin. Like, yeah.

It's like a bump and then a bigger bump and then it's like a sinkhole. Cause they eat the tissue underneath. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. Wait a minute. How terrifying. Well the toxin basically melts your tissue away.

So when you get bit by a recluse, it, it is like he said, first the dump, yeah. And then it's just a giant gaping hole underneath. Yeah. Like your arm goes and then it goes like caves in. So if a brown recluse bit me right here on the cat, holy fuck, is that a nipple? That looks like a nip. That's not even bad because I've seen more like necrotic ones where it's like the whole flesh is dug out.

Cause I'm jacking off. Hey, why is there, why is there edamame in it? Japanese? Wow. So I never realized that brown recluses were that. They are scary dude. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean this thing needs a couple quick fixes, but not for this time. Yeah. See, it keeps going that way. So you have the biggest heebie-jeebies about like what kind of animal are you like? What scares me? Yeah. You know, I heard, it doesn't scare me, but I heard a bunch of coyotes fighting this morning.

Like even they find a dog at about four or five in the morning. Yeah. They yip. They live on the hills. Yeah. Yeah. A dog in the middle going, what the fuck? Cause they go searching for him.

Yeah. And when they see him on the streets, this video too right, when they see, if I come up my street and I see a coyote, they, they don't care at all. Yeah. They're not scared. They go like this. Pull your car up and they go, yeah. Then they go into the bushes, but they don't go, oh.

We were in a car when we went to the desert last week. We were in the car. We remember we took that off road and there was a coyote right there. Yeah. And I'm in a fucking jeep, right? And he's just like, I'm not moving. Right. Yeah.

To cross. Hey, move it. And I don't know if they all, you, well, you're our resident zoologist, but they have, they have rabies or is just that they, coyotes typically don't have rabies. Like foxes can carry rabies. I think any animal can carry rabies. If something with rabies bit that animal, like we could carry rabies. If a comedian could carry rabies.

Do you know what the antidote is to, to getting rabies? Like if you ever get bit by rabies, you need to get like 14 shots to the abdomen. They still do that. I think so. Old school. Yeah. You think they'd have that fixed by now. Or at least in the Philippines, they, they still do that.

Do they, on the rattlesnake, we were told to suck it out. Is that true? Like. I think when you get bit by a rattlesnake, you're supposed to keep your heart rate down and stay as calm as possible on your, on route to a hospital. Because if your heart rate is fast, then you're actually spreading the toxins in your body much faster. Yeah.

I think the idea was my step dad would say, cut the two teeth marks together in a line. Suck as much as you can out, spit it out, and then cross your fucking fingers. My step dad. So we had, in my room, we had five rattlesnakes. My brother would collect them. I lived in this crummy town, copper mining town outside of Scottsdale about an hour. So really on the way to Tucson, like middle of nowhere. And Brian, my brother had five rattlesnakes and a tarantula in this little cage.

He had a boa and a python before that, but they both got loose in the house and then that was it. We never figured out where they went. Yeah. So rattlesnakes, so my step dad comes home. He was a little bit of a boozy Susie and he came home and we were trying to catch this rattlesnake out front to make it six, you know, we found one. And when we had an old milk, that's like a gallon, right?

Yeah. You can picture that empty. Yeah. And then we took two tennis rackets and you get it behind the head and then you put it in and then it curls at the bottom, then you put the top on. That's how he caught the other ones. Now, we're all like, you know, I'm like eight, 10 and 12, me and my brothers. We're trying to catch this rattlesnake and my drunk dad comes home and step dad and he

sees us. He goes, what are you trying to do? We go, we got to get it in there. And he goes, oh, what are you playing tennis with it? You just grab it by the neck. And you stick it in. Yeah. Probably when he put it in, it goes, I guess, ha!

And I'm like, that's why you don't grab it. And he goes, I'm going to go take a nap. And I'm like, oh, shit, I bet you will. So he went in, he's like this, and he lays down, and we're staring at him like this and his fucking face starts to, oh, and then we wake him up and we drive him straight to the hospital. Oh, wow. He's drunk.

He fell asleep. And they're like, he got him here just in time and then they had to do anti-venom and all this. Oh, he could have died? I think so. It can make you really sick. Yeah. Did you get along with your stepdad?

I did. My stepdad went a little crazy, but I did. We had the real dad. He left. Then there was a gap of no dad, and then there was a, and my mom didn't date at all. Because there's three boys, you know, it's like, she had two jobs, no way. And then stepdad, and then he went a little cuckoo. What do you mean?

He, well, he was in the Army, so he had a lot of mental problems. PTSD. Yeah, we didn't know then. What war? What war? I think it was Vietnam. One of my favorites. Really one of my favorites.

Yeah, yeah. Is that a top five for you? No, in just in terms of like the movies. Oh, because we watched the Ken Burns 10-hour documentary. Not only that, not only that, Platoon. Nerd alert. Platoon. Platoon.

I know. Those are all basing. Right. All shot in the Philippines. Full metal jacket. Shot in the Philippines. They really glamorized. Yeah.

Oh, Philippines. Where are you from? Yeah. How many Philippines are there? 7,107. If you had a gun in my head, I would have said four. Because I go, how is everyone Filipino? It's this big.

I literally thought it was three islands of size of course. It's crazy because it's like, I think even smaller by land mass, smaller than California, but we have over 100 million people. So it's kind of like. Because Schneider's in the tribe. Yeah. It's part of the tribe. And when we go, right, we'll get a boat and we'll go to an island.

Multiple. Multiple islands that aren't inhabited. Just island hop. And just be on an island with nothing on it. Or some on an island. Yeah. Most of them are. Yeah.

It's fucking amazing. And then you just float. Remember what I did? Yeah. So the water's so blue, right? And then so you just in it and you lay there on your back and you're doing the island life. Right. You say that to yourself.

And I floated a mile away. Do you remember? I fell asleep. He got took by a current. But he was asleep. Dead asleep. You can sleep in the water with nothing. Yes.

Yes. With nothing. I'm buoyant. And I fell asleep and I opened my eyes. It's like fucking, you know, in the middle of the it was like, that's a boot. I was I thought I was going to die. Terrifying. Yeah.

Terrifying. Yeah. We can't lose you. Would you cry if I died? Ask your favorite question. I'll give you that. Hey, guys. Bobby, that's me.

Hey, slept kingdom. Then patreon is better than ever with more diverse rewards and ever expanding community of people like you. I love you guys so much. You can check out by signing up at patreon.com slash tiger belly. If you're not a member, you might be missing out. You'll get access to exclusive vlogs, audio podcasts, the discord community, live streams and other behind the scenes content you can't find anywhere else.

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Melvin Flores Flores means flowers. Flores. Mayagi. Oh, Jamie. Jamie. Jamie is a sushi from a blowfish. Oh, the underbelly of the belly. We call that.

But it. But it. Rebecca Torres. Yeah. Oh, lucky. Oh, bien bien. Is that racist? I think you're not.

Your culture. Hafiz from Singapore. Yep. Yep. Parvez. Bashir. Bashir. The SH is silent.

So the parvez by your Jamie Chay Cortez. Che. I think it's Jaime. Oh, Jaime. What's Che then? Che. Yeah. Che.

Cortez. I love your name. Please. Change it. Compliment. Don't change it. We love it. Compliment pig.

Oh, God. I love pigs. I do. I don't like them, but I also like the we don't we don't really pigs anymore. No. That's Matt Zwicker, Zwicker, Zwicker, Zwicker, Zwicker, Zwicker. Matt Zwicker. He's a magician for sure.

Of course. Aaron Wosterstrom. Wosterstrom. Aaron Wosterstrom. That's a great one. Way too many S's in that last night. Football name. Take two S's out.

Let's take two. Warstrom. Warstrom. Yeah. Agatha, Pitchfork, Ricketts, Czech Klopp. Wow. Fuck you. I love that name, Agatha.

I do. But the whole thing is fuck you. It's a lot. And oh, my God, my favorite. You know, I've been I've been to discos all my life in the 70s when I grew up, right? My favorite is the ones on the moon. So how about moon disco? Wow.

From the U.S. Yeah. When you go to a moon disco, you can't really dance because you float in this fucking space. There's no gravity. There's no gravity. Yeah. If you're interested in seeing more, you can go to patreon.com slash Tiger Belly. Enjoy the rest of the show.

What was my favorite question? Your favorite question is would you you ask all friends if they would show up to your funeral if they had a big gig that weekend? All right. Oh, you don't have to add that. Yeah. How about when I just go if it was in the valley? So if I if I died, Dave, if I died and it was on a Saturday and you Saturday was

a day one on Wrong Missy Part Two in Hawaii, would you call production and go, I got to show up the next day because I have to go to Bobby Lee's funeral. I would see if anyone was zooming it while I was. I think there was during Wrong Missy. Oh, Brody happened. Oh, that's right. Were you there? What?

I never went. Yeah. I think I was in Hawaii. Maybe. No, you weren't. It was right before Hawaii. You guys were probably in Hawaii already. I think it was my excuse.

What was my excuse? No, you weren't. It happened the week before you had to go to Hawaii to shoot your stuff. Well, why didn't I go? A week before I go to the funeral? Oh, no, you were in the Philippines. I was in the Philippines. Yes.

Thank God. I was in the fucking Philippines. That's why I didn't go. I was about to say what. Yeah. Yeah. That would have been a tough one, though. Yeah.

I like Brody a lot. I was in the Philippines a year before a year and a half. I got to know him the best that just at that last year and a half. So it would have been tough. It was, you know, there's been a couple of comedy deaths, you know, and his was so sudden, right? Yeah. Just out of the fucking blue, and, you know, I've said this before, but, you know, when

she told me that Brody had died, I was sleeping. You know, when you're sleeping. Can you forget her? No. She woke me up and she goes. It was 4 p.m. 4 p.m. And she goes.

It was 4 p.m. 4 p.m. And she. That changes it a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. 4 p.m. And she goes.

Sweetie. Oh, no. Yeah. Brody died. And I go, what? Brody Stevens died. And I laid there for maybe a minute. Still sleeping.

And then I go, why am I not crying? And then she goes. And then she says, because you're still sleeping, you're like mid-sleep. When you wake up, you will. Of course. And as soon as I woke up. Yeah, it was. And then you canceled.

You seemed pretty sensitive. You canceled your weekend in Irvine. Yeah, canceled my weekend in Irvine. David's got to go, but so what we got to do is, before you go. Was there a game? It's not a game. Okay. No, it's called unhelpful advice, and people email us problems.

Oh good. And we answer them. You know what's funny is that you were right. What do you mean? I don't like you anymore. It's gonna take two minutes. This is way too long. Here's a quick question.

Unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalaila and David Spade. Hi guys, I'm an 18 year old and a group of alpha personalities. We all try to dominate to be the most dominant guy in our group. If you were in this situation, how did you handle it? Or if not, how do you handle it without being an asshole about it? Thanks for your help, Noah. How old is he? Oh, he's a part of an alpha.

The pissing contest in that age. I don't think he wants to be a part of it anymore. Oh, he's like, he's basically a bit of a rose. When you guys are in comic groups, like how do you? Yeah, but I'm not an alpha male. But why would you think I'm a fucking alpha male? When you're in certain groups, you know, someone who has to try to be an alpha male is already never going to be an alpha.

An alpha is quiet. I'm an alpha male in front of you in cells. All right. When I'm a bunch of fucking weak in cells. Yeah. I dominate. What's an in cell? An in cell.

Yeah. Angry virgin. They're angry male guys. They hate women. And hate women. That are celibate without, without involuntary celibate. Yeah. Okay.

That's me. No, you're not. You're a pussy machine. But um. Swish it around. Swish it around. Swish it around. Swish it around.

I'm not an ape. I'm not a... No, but you get beautiful girls. No, I'm saying I'm not like a, I've got some guy friends that are very type A, like take over any situation, have to be number one, drives me nuts. I always let them do the thing. Yeah. I know.

You're probably like that too. Yes. Because they're a drag. Because guys like us have to use a different angle and I use cute, right, quirky, you know what I mean, and a nice guy kind of angle. Yeah. I do funny things, I go, boop, you know what I mean, at dinner, and the girl goes, oh my God, why'd you do that?

I'll go, boop, again like that, right, and they love it, right? I'm not like, you know, some of the guys we know, like, hey, look at my fucking bye-bye set. I got a new Tacoma. Yeah. Yeah. So I want to tell this guy right here, right? I actually do.

Stop. Okay. So what are you going to tell them? What I'm going to say is that it's, you know what I like? I like guys that look like they're alpha male, but they're tender inside, you know, like much like, like a, you know, Jesal Neck, Jesal Neck, with his leather jackets and his brooding, you know, James Deeney. You forgot to say anything Jesal Neck, white guy, yeah, right?

And then when you meet him, he just has a smile and a little, you know, not Asian. You pulled that really far. I'm so sorry. Really far. He could be intimidating. He can be, but Jesal Neck has a thing where he has crows, you know, crows, and white dudes get crinkles in their eyes because they smile a lot. Oh, that would make sense.

I always thought it was a sun. No, no, no, no, no. They smile a lot and when they smile, their eyes crinkle, right? And so Jesal Neck is intimidating at first and seems like an alpha male. Do you think that white guys generally smile more? Well, it cracks when they smile. You smile a lot, but it doesn't do anything. Yeah.

Why is that? Because your skin is great. Thank you. You know, do you have any advice to this? Well, I'd like that he's at least doesn't want to be in that group of like asshole guys like that. It is hard though, because everyone's so, when I was 18, I was following, do whatever was cool.

I was such a little plebe, lemming, I would do anything. Everyone's going there. I think that's cool. Everyone's wearing that shirt. I'll wear that shirt. I was like 100%. Yeah. Took a while to try to break out into your own thing.

I don't have any advice. I don't know. I mean, I don't know. It's hard. I like these aware of it. At least he's thinking about it. Like, I guess sort of fade out because it's hard. Everyone's so tough.

You go on bars, those sports, everyone just chugging. It's like, you get older, you go, it's ridiculous, but I guess it's cool. You have anything to plug, David? You have another question? No. Do you have another question? There's a quick question. Yeah, go ahead.

Someone knew David was coming out, so I asked, how did you guys meet? Do you remember the first interaction, at least? Did you say it? Okay, I just said it. What did we say? You said that I eventually met him, but you didn't say exactly when you met him. I think that the first time we kind of had a conversation was the love after that that led them.

Oh, yeah. But no, I hadn't met you before that. I hadn't seen you before that. And Adam had introduced us. I'm sure I saw you at the store, because I started to go to the store a little before that. Yeah, yeah. So Adam introduced us at the store.

I told you you're fucking late as bad as Herco is cool. Yeah. On stage. It looks cool. Yeah. Well, I was also, one time, I don't know when it was, I was wearing a Moncler jacket. Right? It's a Moncler jacket.

Is that Moncler? And you touched the symbol, and you go, somebody's making money. And you rubbed it with your finger like that. And so I went on a fucking, remember, went to Moncler? Yeah. And you bought more? Yeah, I bought another one. So one time we went, we walked into a New York Moncler.

And you remember how you were, it was so sad. It was so sad. Well, we looked a little homeless then, and the sales lady was like, oh, can I help you? Well, the security guard, you knew when we walked in, he had to put his earpiece on. As soon as we walked in, he went, oh, I gotta do my job. Everyone go to four. Yeah. We got a bogey.

And then it was too expensive, right? It was too expensive, but you kept trying to convince her that you already owned a couple. All right. Oh, you're rich? Yeah. Gross. I know, I know, I know, I go, I got one, you know, a Camelwoman that's a great one, you know what I mean?

And she's like, oh yeah, like eight seasons ago. I was in this place, I'll tell you two quick things, I was in this place the other day, and I have my mask on. And I walk up and he goes, dude, there's a line, I go, I don't want to be treated like a normal guy, I'm like this, I'm Batman, he's like, yeah, back there, I guess you didn't see girl. But this is gross, so after the wrong missy, they send you stuff now, so I get movies to read to see if there's anything funny maybe to do in the future.

So there was a road trip movie, and I don't know why I got it in my fucking head. So it was like getting married, my wife's, you know, has never met her dad, or he ran away when they were kids. So I think I'm going to find him as a present, so I go on a road trip, like four days for the wedding, I just disappear, I go, I got to do something. Find the dad, go get him, I'm like, who would play that, like Eugene Levy or Harrison Ford or something? Yeah.

I, road trip, road trip, bring him all the way back, the last scene is like gets to the wedding, and she's like, I don't want to see him, and then it all turns out okay. So I was tired, I was talking to my manager about it, I go, I don't know, I go, I like the idea, and it was kind of funny, but I don't know, the parts, it has to be funny, the parts are a little flat, the guy's like, and he goes, well, you're like this crazy FBI guy, and I go, oh wait, I'm the dad guy, he goes, what the fuck, you think you're the young groom, I go, I did, because I've read those all my life where I could do, and then you go parts where you're like younger, and then you go, oh now you're got a kid, oh

now you're married, and I've never done one where I'm like the married guy's dad. It was so hilariously sickening, I go, I didn't even cross my mind, and he goes, what the fuck, how old are you? I go, well, how old's the kid, and he goes like 30, I go, was he, I didn't even think, I just thought, guys getting married, yeah, you're the dad now Dave, yeah, but you have a young energy, I know right, don't worry about it, I have a young energy now, help me out of the chair, anything you want to plug Dave, no, I just, wrong missy, it was the only thing you can actually see now, but did you see it was number, yeah, it was number

one for a while, but out of all Netflix movies, it's number eight of all time, all time after it was extraction and those, but listen, we got in there, we did get in, so you're all over the sequel body, if not a spinoff, Mr. Morris, your dinner is almost ready, it's not a restaurant, okay, your car is coming around, you're not a valet, I know Adam, give me one second, let me just get my head together, Mr. Morris, many sides, but I have to say after the week I got back in town, after Hawaii, Christa Tony and Adam's wife, his sister, they did a video message thanking me, I think they just put you in that because we all talked about where like, God, he should be doing so much more to get you into something is fun

and then you're just going to elevate anything, so it's like, I'm going to be in a movie with you one day, I would love it, you guys wish I had anything to do with it, this is honestly a dream of mine, like you're one of my favorite people, I got to work out, give him a round of applause, David Spade, everybody. Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed the long-awaited David Spade episode, it was a fun one, he's awesome, he's a legend, we'd like to thank everyone over at Patreon and to join our ever-growing community of people like you, find out more at patreon.com slash tigerbelly, and to get your question answered on tigerbelly, email us at adviceunhelpful at gmail.com, once again, you can follow Clalic ClamDK, the one and

only wonderful producer, George underscore Kimmel, and for anyone out there that's got lots of money and are interested in starting a podcast, check out Seven Akees, it's a production company that can help you out in podcast producing, once again that's Seven Akees, and that is one of our newest sponsors, you're welcome George and Bryce, also guys, you can follow everything Bobby Lee at Bobby Lee Live and myself, Gilbert, and right now Bobby's playing Warzone, actually he's trying to level up a P90 on shipment, if you know what I'm talking about, hashtag Warzone friends, anyways you can follow me at Gilbert's, and if you guys are really into MMA and you guys are missing the Bobby and Clalic MMA Minute, which we

haven't done in a while, but we will, we'll bring it back on the show, but if you need the MMA fix, I am doing a fun little MMA show with my friend Kung Fu Nick, which you might have heard from bad friends, and Alex Lyft God, one of Bobby's Warzone friends, so check that out at WeOutHereMMA, and once again, this podcast was brought to you by Seven Akees. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Barely Ad-Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen to Ad-Free with Wondri Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondri.com slash survey.