TigerBelly - Ep 268: Annie Lederman Steals The Punchline

Episode Date: October 21, 2020

Bobby is Asian Trent Reznor. Annie sees the higher power of Kazaam. Khalyla waits for the topics. We talk the showbiz war, the honor of bombing, and the Chelsea Lately feud. Please support our sponsorsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today I'm living off the money. I make on them right now I'm the worst at making money It's like I just the reason Rogan put me on his pockets the first time is because I was out in the parking lot And he had his car one of his cars and the car was living in and I was like, why are we do the same things right there? I go, I was like, how do you get rich and he's like, oh my god. He started laughing at me and He pulled out a lot of 100. This means nothing to me Hand me 300 bucks and laughed in my face. Yeah, and then had me on the podcast. I had a conversation with you about it

Oh, well, let's go. I'm sorry. No, don't don't be sorry, but I'm very sorry Three two mama, I just killed a man Why would you tell your mom you killed somebody is my question Didn't you tell your mom you I wouldn't not I put it a letter, but is he singing a terror? What the hell? What would your mom say? Why you do that? I mean, that's the first story. It's just why why what happened? Yeah, well he um He fondled me mom in a subway. Why he do that. I don't I'm sexy. Okay. Yeah

There we go. Thank you. Thanks mom. Um Welcome to another episode of um, you know family. Hmm. It's it's a podcast and I didn't want to do it at first and Five years later. We've done it every week Here's been fucking fruitful and here we are We've got characters in the room. We've got all kinds of dynamic characters in the room. We've got um My boy right here, man Remind me again Oh Gilbert, that's right. Gilbert and his sister Sophie. What's her name? Yeah. Yeah, I'd be a lover

We've got George. He's married. Give me Ramah. We got George is married. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That is I know somebody fucks that. That's the most shocking thing I've ever seen. Somebody fucks that. I know me too. I was like we got to get him to lose his virginity He's always in this he's a podcast nerd. He needs to get out there. Yeah. Yeah this whole time. Who knew? Do you believe that his penile has been inside, you know, a vagina enough vaginas to be married because I'm assuming I mean, but he has does have the blonde hair. He could have fucked only hers. He's handsome. That's true. Yeah He seems but it's not about the looks. It's about the energy the job the energy Yeah, he's got a clipboard. He doesn't need a clipboard

Yeah, yeah, that's a nerd Let me introduce people in the room. We've got um Um, my girlfriend who uh, is uh, I don't know some good news. I'm gonna talk about it, but Yeah, but she's uh, she's killing it. I'm part of her. I cured up a little early today Very proud of her pregnant. No, no better Something better than that. It's better than the miracle of life Yeah, miss carriage and then uh There you go. Borscht's a borscht's a borscht's and then we've got a guest here who um, you know, I always think, you know

That uh, you know, we don't look the same. We're not the same ethnicity We're the same gender, but um, there is something about her that reminds me of myself It's my when I get high my eyes get really slim That and also there's something about your Because one day I I didn't even know you that well And you go, what's up? And then you showed me one of your breasts. I don't know why classic probably to match your balls And I go, wow, that's somebody that I can hang with

That's how esther and I bonded. Yeah, what she showed you her breast. No, it was the opposite. She straight up came She's like, can I see your boobs? Yeah. Oh, she's such a pervert esther is a lesbo pervert and I think we need to just She is yeah Um, you like I've never said have you've gilbert you've never said hey look at my dick Uh once because you kept you pulled yours out. I felt like I had to do. Oh, that's right. Oh my god. Did you doc? We could I don't have the skin. Oh my god. Congratulations. Thank you so much. Yeah, so annie and I um annie and uh We don't really hang out, but I just feel like um, I want to um, but we were kindred spirits. There's something about her that's kind of like um

Sophisticated garbage. Thank you. So honestly. Yeah. Yeah. I'm halfway treasured because my mom. Yeah, it's from like a really nice Amazing family and then my dad popped out of a tuna can Yeah, and then here I am. Yeah. Yeah. That's what it feels like, you know, like my dad was blue collar Um, he he was a street kid. He didn't really have a high school diploma. He was in a gang in really? That's so cool Yeah, he was in a Korean gang in when he was growing up in korea and then he um Um, went into the military and became a boxer Right. Yeah, and then my mom comes from royalty. Yeah, because her all her sisters are like doctors Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so and then when they combine the two right and they have babies

This is what comes out mad tv's alum here You're gonna be on a sketch show that's very popular No, but just like, you know drug addicted but then like so I have like, you know, I I'm not well read, but I know something And well read well read means nothing. I fall asleep when I read I can't yeah But like there's certain things I'm I have interest in like film and I've always had but I'm also like I have empathy, but I'm also, you know lazy and a kind of a piece of shit I just got such a good idea. What should we write?

remake twins with us in it Oh, wow Well, you're dating you're dating. How I never thought you had a Asian fetish a male model I mean, he's my living assistant is what we say publicly, but He does everything for me. Yeah, let me make me come but He does take care of all the chores. He makes you come Yeah, yeah, yeah through um oral pleasure or a penile penile both. Yeah. He's a good boy But baby, how do I I'm I'm all penile, right or you? Yeah

Oh, this is terrible. Let's just answer right. The pause is really rough. It's rough. You well the question After you was that was a lot You excessive blinking. Right. Right. The other guys in the room. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, okay enough said That was painful. You can do it Thank you. Wow I'm also I say that is because I'm just not the correct person to be asking the question anything makes me come Augusta a light

I have I can come in my sleep in my dreams Like I have legit adult wet dreams good for you. Yeah, so I mean it doesn't really take a lot So no, you're not the dawn in that What's so funny? She could have just given it to you, but she didn't she didn't know she I like telling the truth, too even Right. Are you are you somebody that's easily can you easily orgasm? Well, I bring I'm I'm like, you know I get a small vibrator to bring with me everywhere just in case you really Oh, yeah, just wait, you know, it's like I'm not gonna like yeah time is money. You know, we're in hollywood

Tick tock tick tock you started comedy though in east coast, right in new york. Yeah. Yeah. Was that hard? No, it was well, I guess so but it was like it felt easy I quit drinking and just after my first open mic because I went home with literally the The least funny open mic like he was Yeah, I couldn't believe it like I was drinking I quit Jaeger before I quit anything else Yeah, and I was I went to my first open mic and I really wanted to do comedy as a profession from the beginning So I put all this pressure on myself and I wrote like a little set list of all like I had a joke that was like Uh, I never date jewish guys because or wait, I have to date jewish guys because I'm lactose intolerant

I can't have dick juice like really My mom tagged me an embarrassing picture on facebook Her vagina made my head look so big I was like a frowning joke But like just you know, and I had all these jokes written on my list and I dropped them on the way up And then I just blacked out and panicked and was screaming at everyone So then I was like sitting at the bar so depressed and this really Unfunny comedian came over and sat next to me was like, you know, we all have good ones and bad ones

And I was like, no, I'm gonna be good at this like you don't understand like imagine you've been doing this for three years Yeah, and the first day some bitch comes up and it's like I'm better like I was so sure I was better than I was like I can't talk to I don't like And he kept buying me shots and he was like, let's do Jaeger shots and I was like Okay, and I was like, all right, I did Jaeger shot and I was like, I'm an alcoholic. Please don't buy me drinks Like I'm trying to quit or whatever. Yeah, and he kept buying me drinks. I'm like, I don't like you. I hate you Please stop And then cut to me waking up in the morning on his air mattress fully clothed like reaching for more alcohol

Oh, oh my god, and then I just it was snowing out. I was in Bushwick and I was just like I'm never drinking. That was the bottom. They really why I had so many bottoms. Yeah, you know, and I just kept bouncing back A bottom, you know, you handle bottom you can just drink through it. It's like There's always a lower bottom. Yeah, I I um, my bottom that I should have quit drinking at was in Santa Fe I was I was drinking really heavily and I left it was my friend's 30th birthday party. Yeah, and I went I was 21 or 25 and I uh I went like I was like, oh my god, it's your birthday. Buy me shots. Like that's oh my god. It's your birthday

Like buy me drinks. This is great And he kept buying me shots. I was wasted and I was like so drunk. I was like, I'm gonna suck your dick for your birthday Blow you and I was working at it. I was working at this cowboy bar. That's where we were drinking Yeah, you had to work. I'm like in a cowboy hat. Like, yeah, I'm gonna suck your dick, sir And I had a motor scooter that used to drive around like I go beep beep paddy and I'd pull my tits out If they such a small town it's like I was just totally known. I was infamous. Yeah. Yeah And um, and then we so I was like going to drive and he was like, no, you can't ride your scooter And I was like, fuck you. Everyone's like out on the patio looking at me. I'm like tit out like

Yeah, right beep beep later bitches. I like peel off and make a turn. I'm done I wake up the next day with my face split open Just like I had to get nine stitches. It looked like my the dress I was wearing it looked like someone had slipped my throat There was just blood I looked like Carrie. I had road rash. I almost lost a nipple All of my tits for the next month after that my my pickup line at the bars was like, hey, you want to rub some neosporin on my titties? I had to carry it on Who wants to do is like open

Gushy wound. Wow, and then my friend took me to the hospital everything But I kept thinking like at least I got those wounds instead of getting like the the wounds that come back on my genitals Yeah, you fucking two months if I had gone and fucked my friend Albert You've never had an NPD. I was so disgusting. Well, you I had crabs in college, which is why I think I do comedy Yeah, but when they when they diagnosed the crabs, I thought it was so funny like there was no my only I was like couldn't wait to tell everyone. Well crabs was a hot commodity in the late 90s and early 2000s Yeah, I remember I remember when Snoop Dogg came on power 106 and he was like, I had you know I got a little soldiers and everyone's like, yeah

I thought crabs was the least the bottom bass. They were so funny. I was like of all the stv's to get hilarious I'm not a science guy, but I don't when they say crabs. Are they literal crabs? Oh my god They're like yes, they're pubic lice. So if you have a microscope, don't don't laugh at me You don't need a microscope. I want to keep going. I just learned about I thought they were tiny little crab mites. Yeah. Yeah, that's right Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't be don't be an asshole. I'm on your side. It makes your neck look really big though when you use them Because I just found about Canaan was it cana it's QAnon QAnon today. I mean I just found out about that Canaan, you know what I mean? But um, so I like how you're pretending like you don't know what it's called He's been on that too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So when you see um

When you have crabs and you look in the microscope, do they look like crabs? Yeah, they look crazy. Yeah, they're little lice Yeah, yeah, well, I saw them first. I was itching. My mom was in town I was like mom, there's something wrong with my vagina and my mom's like does not ever want to hear any of that She's like ew. I'm like That's not what I need you. Yeah, and then um I went to the my I left my mom at home and I went to the doctor or to the school nurse I was in college and she was like you don't have crabs and I was like Like I do have

Oh, yeah, I could see them the girl that I saw before you I want to say her name But we had sex we call her dumb cunt Dumb cunt. Yeah. Yeah. She after she we had hooked up the first time. Yeah, she just looks at me She goes, I just want you know, I should have told you before but I have um std's I should have told you how many you mean how many and which one's very I don't know which one it was. It wasn't specific, but I go Why I anticipated this so on the first the first month that we dated I got tested Like I got a series of yeah. Yeah. What did it come back come back good. She had corona. Yeah. No

Started there it started no no serious one. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, thankfully, but yeah, I think that's something that you should say, you know before Yeah, but it's like I mean like I would have done it anyway. I would have done it anyway Definitely go I do feel bad with people for the herpes. I had a friend in um asian Um in college who had herpes and she would never tell guys she would like wait She'd fuck them unprotected like three times so they fall in love, you know, that's oh, oh, wow Yeah, and the chemicals between them. Yeah, she'd get the bonding the bonding and then she'd be like, oh my god I just got tested we have herpes

I was like this bitch is brutal. So I used to tell I would like have to tell I'm like Wait, she fucked him even when she was having an outbreak not when she was having an outbreak She went okay, but you could have been shedding. It's like, you never know. Yeah What does her pee outbreak look like a herp? Because you know those cold sores that you get in your mouth Those that's a herpes type one. Ah You can also get the same thing down there. So like if I'm down there, let's say you and I break up Yeah, you know, I mean I'm at like um Hi, you took that really easily. Yeah

Yeah, I'm at hyenas. Yeah, okay. That would be the one In Dallas, right? I'm on hyenas. That's his favorite one of all time. Yeah, and I do a whole thing with that guy What's his name again? I don't know what his name. Yeah, I know. I don't either but I like him Yeah, we break up. I mean I do a great set, right? You go to hyenas, which is usually the case Wait, is this real the life or hypothetical hypothetical? Okay Do a great set and I see I mean a girl named Beatrice Great new Beatrice Sanjo. Oh, right and she's like, I don't know what she is. Yeah, she could be fucking ethically ambiguous. She kills in commercial

It's Hollywood talk and you know, I don't drink so I get her some drinks, right? Next thing you know, I'm at the I don't hyenas what they put you at the fucking motel. So you're raping her This is not your drunk. She's wasted your completely sober. I'm glad we've established. Yeah. This is a rape guy And so, um, she's like you want to lick the hoochie? Yeah, I don't know how the kids say it. I think that's how they say it. Yeah. Yeah. I'll probably go Yeah, like a question. Yeah, I have a question. Wait, go ahead If she if she was like you want to lick it and then she poured like yeager or something On her pussy, would you lick it off of her pussy?

It's so fucking funny So Ari and I Shafir, right met these girls at the comedy store once and this is when I was sober the last time And this she was so hot And she lived over there in Beverly Hills, but like in an apartment, right? And we went over there And she was in the bathtub and she poured whiskey all over or snatch and stuff And she knew I was sober which is fucked up How fucked up is that? She knew it was sober, but she's like, you know relapse. Oh, wow You know, I mean, but she didn't say that but she's like just lick it, right?

And I just remember like relapse, right? I remember taking the I turned on the faucet and I started splashing Right so that could just like dilute it. Yeah, right. I did it but my point is Put some ice on it. So it was on the rocks But um And she and then I remember I just probably Pointless, but she goes Trent Reznor did it. I don't know why she said that. I mean, that's I would I would do it You are kind of like asian Trent Reznor with your face and hair. So yeah, so I meet Beatrice Sancho, right?

She wore out the hotel, right? And she goes lick it And then I'm down there and I see a pimple With a whitehead on could be an ingrown. We get those all right. It's a white. It's a definite whitehead though No, you want to see open sore? Oh or a pustule that's clear if it's a whitehead. It's probably an ingrown. Okay. What about this then? What if I see, right? Yeah, a red bump, but it's got cauliflower, but it's got a yellow Kind of like, you know, like a booger that had dried. Yeah, that's a sore. You don't want anything. Do I lick it or not?

Don't I wouldn't lick any even if it was an ingrown. Well, just see what it tastes like It's gonna be a crumb. Maybe she had a cupcake earlier right That would be nasty if I sucked on it and I started crunching on the On the wound. You're like, yeah, like what if she heard it like a cracker? Well a good If it hurts her then it's definitely her pee. Oh, it is. Yeah, but I'm fucked at that point because I think her pee sores are very Painful even on the mouth. Oh, I see. Okay. So well, you know, I don't have herpes yet

Yeah, yeah, you know, it's so funny when you say about like the bottom and sick I remember, you know, when I I everyone knows about the story about when I played Connie Chong And I shit my pants on TV and that's how I got relapsed. Yeah, but like was it on the piano when she was doing that thing? No, they never aired it. Was that the funniest thing that ever happened? So I played Connie Chong and I and I and I when she serenaded Shit my pants and then they fired me from the show, right? But like a couple of months before that I had gone to Tijuana And I had smuggled pills across the border

And then I remember getting a hotel room. Which hole did you use? What to smuggle them? Which hole? No, what I did was I didn't I didn't put it in my holes, right? I have very tight holes, by the way Aw, good for you then. Thank you This is an old joke that I said, but my ass was really tight. My poop looks like angel herb pasta It's like the play-doh So um, no, what I would do is I would take all the um, the um I would put cotton. I would ask for cotton and it'd smash it all the cotton in that so it wouldn't rattle Right, and then I would just put it in between. I had a tidy whitey's and just put it in between the crack

So it's not in the hole and I would just kind of walk in a weird way. Yeah And that's how I smuggled drugs. Yeah, but that wasn't you're you're talking about no No, no, so I was at a hotel and I remember We were taking a bunch of pills and then passing out and then the next day I woke up and getting a bunch of messages On my cell phone saying that I had messed missed a table read. Oh, fuck At fox, which is like a network, right? Right and that I think feel like most people would be like I think it's time to quit but me was just like It probably always happens. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like you justified it in your fucking head, you know

Are you sober now? I don't drink. Yeah. Yeah. I don't drink. But I don't I do like I do do hallucinogens and stuff like that Which ones? Well this weekend I was like, I don't want to talk about it because I don't want to like no no no because no I I do stuff I mean, no, I don't I'm kind of a square in that way, but um, I don't I drink so rarely But I've never tried um any hallucinogens. So I want to so I just feel bad because I do feel kindred with bobby and I do like When you were smoking weed again, I was like, you have to stop smoking weed and then I started smoking weed again

smoking weed and I was like, yeah, we never smoked weed together though. No. Oh my god. We won't one day So when you so you were sober now you smoke I was fully sober for like maybe four years. Yeah That's when I met you. Right. Yeah, and then I smoked with and I quit smoking weed I always go on and off of the weed and then hallucinogens. I started doing um Maybe like a couple years ago. I started doing them and I feel like if I'm doing something that expands my brain I'm not doing it. Like tell me about it. I know you're getting all excited. I'm not excited. I'm not gonna do it I just want to know I want to live through you. I've never I've never seen anyone so obviously about to do it

What am I gonna do it? All of a sudden he's wearing glitter and he's like an a burning man Yeah So you're gonna do it this week or you didn't know last weekend. So tell me about it. We went to um Uh death valley. Mm-hmm desert desert. It was so nice. I went with Brett Erickson and um, Carrie Mitchell who their um, Carrie Mitchell is not a comic. She's the bartender of the comedy So Brett is a kind of Carrie. Yeah, and Andy Anders who's like a bunch of the stan hopes friends were there Uh-huh, and um, it was really fun. My friend Jamie came. It was just so fun. So we did

Acid and mushrooms. There was a little bit of Molly, which I don't I did do but I don't Consider not like I think Molly is a hard drug. Yeah. Yeah, because it takes from you. It depletes you. It doesn't teach you Yeah, yeah, and um, it was so fucking fun a little special. Okay. I do do some special. Okay. Yeah Uh-huh. So when you do it I mean because we saw a doc. What was the documentary about which one the uh mushroom one? No, that Oh, they show the unwell where they talk about ayahuasca ayahuasca, right? Yeah, and being a sober guy, right? And I know a guy I'm not gonna say his name

Thanks for whispering. Is he black? You don't need to whisper when you say someone's black No, um He's white I know a guy and he said that once he's sober for a long time and he's got good sobriety But he goes one time. I did it and I I don't consider a relapse. Yeah with ayahuasca. No, it's like a it's like therapy medicine That's what he said helps with trauma. But then I doesn't it also have like anti addictive properties and stuff It helps people quit heroin. Yeah. Yeah. Okay guys

I asked my therapist if I could do it She goes I just don't think you're you know, but castan g when he was here He said something really interesting because I had told you he was like, I want to try it I was like, we'll talk to your sponsor and he said no, I can't so that in itself is the is where the deceit lies Right, if you're already I think string from your sobriety Just by virtue of not wanting to let your own sponsor know That's true. That's like there was a transparency there and said, hey, I want to try this like this and that right Oh my god, a is so hard that I like ask it quit. I mean they'll come at you

Yeah, it's hard. I remember I quit AA. I did AA for 90 and 90 my 90 days Which was once a day for 90 days and then I was getting my three month chip and I was like, you know, and I was at the like popular brooklyn one because I like to wear cute outfits and stuff I mean it was such a runway show. I went back six months after to bang all the guys I wanted to bang Get it up couldn't get it Um demons demons, but so I was like doing my speech where I was and I was like up there with the microphone I you know been in comedy like six months and I was like, yeah, you know, I just think I'm done coming to meetings

Thank you guys so much. You're so helpful. Everyone was like No, you don't they're coming up to me and I was like, I think it'll be fine Um, because I felt like AA was a problem for me. I don't think it is for like I don't I think it's very good But it felt like I was getting too like worried about pleasing the people rather than doing it for my own health and yeah, well-being and um, not to deter anyone from going because I think I really needed it and I I like that it's there when I need it, but um, also my my higher power

Because I didn't want to I don't believe in god that way. I picked Shaquille O'Neal from kazzam And I would pray to him in a genie costume like every night and people were So the one guy was like, you're gonna relapse. You're not taking it seriously. I'm like, all right. Good luck with god have fun with that He ain't listening Yeah, it's that that's a tough one the higher power thing giving it up to god was like I was like I just quit I was like I just quit I understand what it means now. It took me a long time Like right now I would I would I wouldn't I don't think I would have a problem that the way I did before Yeah, yeah, but you see you're I mean

Because you were sober for four years and now that you're you know experimenting doing things, you know I don't judge you. I I love I don't care. I mean, I I care about you as a person, right? But do you think that you'll ever come back or no what to being completely sober? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, yeah Probably I mean, I don't think I'll ever drink. I don't think that will ever be in my life. That's not a thing. I miss It's not a thing. I want it's not like What it did to my life was really really bad and it's just not I have a problem with procrastinating So anything that keeps me from Forward movement is something I need to stay away from which is

Right now. I'm like I I didn't smoke weed all day and I think I'm gonna just stop smoking weed, but we'll see It is night time. It is night time. Yeah, yeah, you know and the bong does rest Hey, yeah, I saw you at the Whitney thing. It was really good to see you at the Whitney thing I know it was so nice to see you and I love I love your inner reactions interactions interactions with Esther there's like a screaming thing that goes on when we come in and we're like sir, sir, do you mind leaving? Is he bothering? Yeah, we both put our cameras on and like attack each other when we see each other I'm also her lawyer. I'm always suing people for her. I'm like, I'm also her lawyer. Ma'am. I'm gonna have to

But it's like Esther's doing stand-up like it's an open mic, right? And then Annie would be like come here do it Finish the thought Right and then Esther's like, I don't know. I don't know what the premise is Well, Esther keeps pretending. She doesn't know how to do fucking comedy. She's been doing it for 13 I know she is one of those Esther's so funny She's like I don't know how to write a joke and then she's just saying jokes all day. I'm like Esther It's like just you have to do tap tap tap. Yeah for one second. She's so lazy

There was a little bit of lazy. Well, this is what I have as a premise, right? And then she wants us to write Yeah, she's like, um, so I woke up this morning a little late. She's like, you know, if you were just throwing her punch lines Is that relatable? Yeah. Yeah But she really is um, I have to say about Esther. She's an anomaly. She's so funny. They're just so unique As a human, you know, she's very talented and um, you know, um, I just I I just loved being there because in in this pandemic I just I don't really see anybody and to see you girls, you know Such a fun. It's such a good time over there. Yeah, and that's what did you guys give him a hard time for showing up double masked with a shield No, we get it. Yeah, we know he's crazy

But what do you really think though about you? Yeah in terms of like, yeah in terms of me But in terms of like me being, you know, double masked and you know acting that way I don't have any problem with how anyone is protecting themselves during this. I think that like I think it's crazy that people are complaining about wearing masks. It's like a nothing thing to do It's just it takes no time. You can make you can buy a cute one that looks like you're eating someone else Oh, would we buy it? Yeah You can buy them. There's a link on my instagram. Yeah in my bio. So those are yours. Yeah, these are mine But you can wear them. It's like fun to wear masks. I just don't think it's a problem and

You know people people that say, oh if you don't want to wear a mask It's up to you. But the whole point of the mask is so you don't give it to other people, right? It's not about So I don't I just I get it. I don't I don't shame anyone. I mean, did you see that jamie just got young jamie just got it I saw herana. Oh, rogan. Oh, rogan thug. Jamie vernan. Oh, he did. Yeah in texas. Is he in texas right? Yeah Yeah, I mean So you're just gonna it's like I don't want to get it. I really don't want to get I don't want to get it Also, what happens is because you know, santino got it. Oh, I didn't know that when Well, it's out. So I don't I don't forget about it. But yeah, he just got out of quarantine

I just saw him. I almost saw him Three weeks ago, but did you know I was remember when we I was mad at you? Yes. I want of course I want to talk can we talk about that when I was mad at you. What how mad? Oh my god. He's I would not I wanted to end her I wanted to end her fucking career. Oh wait. Was it the chelsea thing? Yeah. Oh, I know this story Yeah, I can't wait to talk about it. Yeah. Yeah. So I want to say this. All right I literally had to think about like, you know, I mean think about it before I even brought it up Yeah, so it's it's so it's been far in the past that I don't even think about it, right? And number two

I love you a lot. Yeah, I love you too. I fucking hate it, dude. All right And I wanted to get I wanted you dead and um, so we do the I would like to hear your side of the story. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So I'm oblivious, by the way of the And being mad at me I mean now, I know obviously because he screamed at me publicly in front of so many people Did I really did I really yes in the hall of the comments? I was so surprised. I did not think you were mad at me Okay, so doing chelsea lately was the most stressful fucking bullshit I mean, I have never been more nervous to do anything in my life because it was

It was just very tense. Like I get that I've never met uh chelsea before I think I'd done it like two or three times by the time I did it with you Yeah, but when I first I didn't know chelsea. I was flying in from new york to do it They were like, don't look at her like don't look her in the eye But look near her and don't like and they're like make sure you jump in but don't interrupt chelsea and like all these things Like they had all these rules and it was very stressful And I had not been on tv before I want to can I interject real quick? I want to just add on may I yeah, of course The reason why it's stressful. Okay is is that

You don't you shoot at two o'clock And you have to go to universal city, right? Right and sometimes you'll at noon They don't have the topics yet. Oh, it's so stressful, right? And then all of a sudden you get these topics Right five things that have happened, right? And you have to quickly come up with five Angles or jokes on each topic on each topic, right? Can I get a shout out? Yeah, because the last two years you did chelsea He would not wake up until like 45 minutes before and he would have nick usef and I Wake up really early. Yeah. Yeah. Just waiting for the fucking topic

So we could write his jokes for him. Yeah, right. So all right. Oh my god. The power dynamic But in a show like that, right? Like if you do david spade show for instance, what's it called? Uh lights out lights out, right? You can say a joke and then you can Turn to whoever and go can I say that over again? Right? Yeah, and they're like, yeah take it as many times as you want Right, and they can just fill in the laughter, right? But with Chelsea, you know You have to say it perfectly Or she'll rip you apart and she'll not ask you back like she'll be or she won't ask you back Or you know, there's all these other things. They're at play some now. You're there, right in front of a

Gigantic studio audience. It's so many people so many people. It's hundreds of people And by the way, I always like a couple of my bank tellers and stuff. I always brought random people If anyone recognized me from Chelsea, I'm like, do you want to come? You want a picture? They're like, we're good. Yeah, yeah And so you're there and then here's another here's another thing is when you Come up with your bits. Sometimes this happens, right? You you get a writer and you have to pitch them the bits And meanwhile in 10 minutes you're on air and they're doing your you're not even a girl the girl

I'm in full makeup. They're they're like close your eyes. I'm like, I can't they're like putting eyelash Hey They're like, are you ready? They're like, we're miking him Right, so you're about to go out and then and then somebody will come in the room and go Yeah, um, so-and-so is already doing that joke And then you're you and then you're being pulled onto the set you go, what do I do then? And then you're like, I would have it folded up. I would have my notes folded up Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah trying to like memorize. I'm like, yeah. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Yeah, like I'm

Down. Yeah, like don't look down. I'm like, but I have my notes are there. Yeah. In fact one time Chelsea wasn't there. Wanda Sykes was there Tg Miller Miller and I are on the panel, right? And we remember going Like she's there They're about to go and me and Tg know Wanda Sykes. We turned her when we go. What's that Wanda and she goes like this And that gesture. Fuck me up. I don't know what I'm doing now. Do that. I don't know why. Was she mimicking Chelsea? Maybe that's what she thought that the role was. Chelsea would be so different with me every time I did it too. Like one time She would like like because I didn't know her at all. It was so nice for her to put me on. I cannot believe she put me on the show

And so I was like we're walking down this the hallway and she's like, hey girlie and she would like tickle my stomach I'm gonna be like mama like oh my god Yeah, I just little old me. I was like an open mic girlie. Thank you. And then and then other times she'd walked down the hallway and she'd be like I'm like Yeah, yeah, I invited you. I don't know. I have to also say though that without it in that chunk of my life, right? I wouldn't have had the numbers on the road. It was amazing. It was amazing. It changed my life and we're grateful We're just complaining about the stress. It was just so stressful the timing of it Because Chelsea at that point. I mean, I don't know how early you did it on. She was so kind of over

She didn't want to do more takes which actually made the show hilarious Yeah, but she'd just be fumbling through the thing like whatever and they just put the thing up. She called me Amy Lieberman like five I think she might even call me Amy Schumer or or let's cut to now the night the day we do it Okay, so there's all this stress and And the um, okay, so I don't remember the topics or the jokes or anything Okay, so I don't remember the topics or the jokes or anything, but I remember it wasn't didn't go well Okay, I remember when we got off you could say that again You can say well, I figured out what it was when I watched it

I realized what I didn't realize about the way you were delivering the jokes Because I was always waiting for I was a you you have to jump in if you don't jump in with you You were famous. Okay. This was like all I had so it was like That's all I had too. No, no, I agree with that. I'm not okay. No, no, no. I just I just I'm trying to explain like I didn't have any like I get I get with your perception camera and stuff It's a perception of me your perception of me You know me is different than the perception I have of myself. Maybe you're in your head You're like well, this guy was on a show before right?

I didn't realize that you were okay. So when you delivered your jokes You would you would you would tell the joke possibly do an act out and then you would look at the camera And you would hold a look and that was like the laughs would like it would kill right? I didn't realize the look holding so what I was doing was I was so obsessed with my own Getting the jokes out I would hear a pause When it was you were like continuing to deliver the joke and I would think the joke was done So then I would jump in to get the joke, but I was cutting your joke off. Okay. Can I say this?

Okay, that's correct. Yeah, right But what I saw and I was a fucking no no no what I saw was this okay I would wait because I know that you were jumping the gun. Yeah, I waited for you to do your joke first Yeah, right you would do your joke first right and in my head. I'm like, okay I got the two guys out of the way right right now. It's my turn to do my joke right or you're you get one shot Right, so halfway The first time right I didn't I wasn't even able to tell my joke because you said you did your joke

I forgot who the other guest was and then it was my turn to talk and you did a second joke I wish I had a joke to interrupt you with I know but you had a second joke and then After your joke Chelsea goes. Okay. Now we're going, you know commercial break Right, so now I know now I know We have to go to the next topic and so in that fucking choke. I said nothing Right, and so I I turned I turned to Michael Cox And and he comes up to me goes I I I know I saw

I go what the fuck bro? Oh That was my strongest one. That was my strongest one Right, he's like, I know but you can't you just deliver get get out get out in the first You're mean in the first one better than I thought in the second half just get your first joke out Right, I know but Because I didn't even say anything Right, so now you have an external locus of control now we're back now back now back to right So I go, okay this bit is you know, I'm going to pause and do the punchline, right?

Because the first one is obviously just a setup, right? So I do the setup, right? I do the pause. She goes right in She goes right in everyone right no laugh No laugh for me She goes right in right now at least and then the other comic does it right? And then also commercial break Michael comes up to me Michael sweating now Cox Because he knows that like my eyeballs. Why didn't they tell me what because we don't know because everything's moving so fast Right everything's moving so fast, right? And now I'm whispering things like you know

I'm gonna kill her That's so and I have no clue. She has no idea She has like what's the next topic like I hope I remember my joke So then the third one right was the worst one and this is not your fault I mean the third one's not your fault, right? So mind you, right? I'm on this whole show I haven't said anything funny yet. Just and I've been I've been on camera for about 20 minutes. Yeah Just promising. I'm just a guy that's just sitting there, right? Oh my god, the sinking feeling when the commercial break comes is really it's like

Unmatched in life like you don't when you haven't gotten your joke out. Wow. I'm literally also having thoughts like um, Maybe I could just you know work at the store Oh You know, I mean like not just a doorman, but like, you know, maybe promotions Right, like I'm thinking your whole life is my whole life is flashing before my eyes, right? And the third one I'm about to tell the joke and they do a thing where Chelsea just interrupts me and she goes it's fortune fiends dirt. She's even on the panel Right. I think fortune fiends comes out in like a lingerie or something and does a dance

She was a bit that like no one was told about right so the whole show I'm fucking utter And then I remember thinking to myself. I hate that girl any my number one enemy Wow, you know, I have a lot of enemies on the wall, right? Yeah, but like, you know She's my number one and then what what did I say to you at the store? Oh, and then like we get like okay, so we get off stage and like I know it didn't go great But I'm like, what I you know, I'm just sort of like I don't like I at this point. I'm not feeling fully responsible. I'm like, we all kind of didn't have a good show, but I

Yeah, and then Cox was like, wow that was a rough one. I was like it was like, you know And then I was like, oh like the lights got darker and I was like, oh my god We bomb my parents are gonna watch this is terrible and then um So when I see Bobby at the store later at night and I go, oh that sucks like we didn't do good and he was like Yeah I was just kind of like I had no clue like I just had no clue. I mean, right, right? I just like am wild. I don't there's no because it was pinta. It was like, you know

I had it just in my chest and everyone was like I was like and I was like Bobby I'm so sorry. I would never and you're like, you're supposed to make everyone look good And I was like, I would never in your you are trying to make me look bad And I was like, I would never try to make you look bad right and it was like that kind of how long yeah Yeah, how long did it take for now? for me to To get back because I feel like to be friends again. Yeah, I feel like what you did was the right thing You did the same thing tiffani haddish did what timmy haddish

We've talked about on the show when she was here that she portrayed me, right? And then there was a relentlessness on tiffani haddish's part to get Me to like them again. Do you think I did that? I think you did I think there were times right socially right that you I just didn't know you didn't like me ever So I was just treating you regularly I'm just like you're mad at me once in my head. I was number one anime. No in my head. I'm like wow. She's crafty She's probably she's probably thinking right we're all cool now, but in my head. I'm like wow. She's saying hi to me and Flicking my that's where the self centeredness comes in. That's what I tell you like you always you have these hang ups about

You think people are thinking of you right and they're not everyone's just moving about and doing their own shit You mad at me when we did the nbc thing what nbc thing remember when we did finesse williams nbc thing Remember he was doing a oh my god. This is how much you work. You piece of shit. This is how successful you are We did who's finished me? I love them. No, I don't remember that but okay You were freaking out. You were like because you have a thing where you're like, this is my last job every time you have a job You were like You're like all the execs are here. Am I bombing? It's like I mean

The screaming am I bombing a little bit is bombing? But no, yeah, I think you pulled your dick. I think you did get naked again But it was like one of those like they showed us a video and we made jokes about right animal video or something Because but I'll tell you why I'm only like that in in jobs where it's like I think this wasn't a part of my dream Right panel shows were not a part of my dream. It's not my skill set. You know, I mean I've always wanted to like I like acting and I like sketches and I like being big and and controlling things, you know and also showing my muscle right doing um

Panel shows that's why the david is that what you call your dick. What your muscle? My yeah my muscle, right That's a good one. But like so the finesse thing. I don't remember it. But what happened? You just were like freaking out running around clothes were coming off. Yay. We're having a breakdown. You're like, oh my god This is a big network. I'm like, I think it's fine. You're probably gonna get several more tv shows Yeah, I think you're fine. Yeah, but yeah, I did you start liking me again. How recently it took a year Oh, okay. That was a long time ago. Yeah, it took about a year year and a half. I um, I just remember Forgetting. Oh, you know and and then seeing around what I also like about you is observing you

I always like to observe you around other comics to see if other this is so gross I want to hear. I'm gonna tell you. Okay, but this is a gross part of my personality I know it's disgusting, right? But there's also I like to see people's trajectory You know I remember watching you say on this podcast before you were like you were like, um I like to know where I am power wise with people and I was like, he's never thought I was close to him That's what's so funny. You remember when you brought me on stage once and you were like

In the or and you were like wait go back like you started to say my name until I started to come forward and you're like, no No, no, go back. Why are you up here already? And I was like, oh, so I went back and they're like, you were like, why would you listen to me? Jesus, I was just fucking with you come up and I was like, Jesus Yeah, I'll fit me so hard in front of everyone. I was like, I'm sorry for that. But um, I've always been like that and um I remember that's why when I started in San Diego A lot of local people didn't like me because they used to say the word opportunistic. Do you think that was what it was? It wasn't the Yeah, it wasn't a full-blown rich racist people that

No, I just I just found myself like hanging out with who the funniest guys are Rather than who's the best person in his heart Well, that's because if you if you use that as your gauge, you wouldn't get anywhere in my mind to be laughing Yeah, right and and and that doesn't apply like in AA meetings in AA meetings I'm just I'm friends with everyone and I want to right but to me um Um, stand up and and and show businesses, you know A war in a sense, right? I don't look at it as a happy, you know, I mean joyous place. It's you know, you're it's a competition It's like but has corona helped you with that? Well, not only corona has helped me with it, but um

This new I almost have a year now So I have a new sponsor and I you know, I think the corona the pandemic being sober It and going to therapy as well has um shifted a lot of things within me and um Now I enjoy, you know Could I be working more? Do I miss stand-up? Yeah, but the pandemic has um Made everyone kind of on eco ground I know except you see some of the people that are working a lot. You're like, what the why are you trying to get ahead of us? Yeah, tell her how many fucking Taylor Thomas and how many shows you have to do

Every week and I'm like, but you're already 25 with a Netflix special. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. Take a break and the bank Bangs and they look good, which I'm like Like who does that? I know but it's in in that sense like it does it puts everyone on, you know I mean the starting lineup Or the the starting line is always starting line Yeah, and it it it there's the stress of the cup the competitive How to say it the competitiveness of it has gone away. That's not a word. What that wasn't really a hard word I was like

Is that a different word? No, I have a difficult saying you know, I honestly think that That's probably your this would be my guess you being an actor And having a lot of success in that and then obviously I'm sure you've gotten rejected a million times Makes you more competitive and stand-up because stand-up isn't it really isn't that competitive if you think about it Yeah, we are doing different things I remember you said that to me When I was like around the time when rogan was giving me wads of cash and thinking it was funny, which I'm like that joke

Still funny joke. Come on. Let's do it again You were like you were like wait you're broke. You're like, why are you broke? And I was like, I don't know and you were like dual podcast. What are you doing? And then you were like, um, you don't have to worry about it. He's like you and you said there's no one like you Yeah, I do agree. I I've well. I hope you agree. You said it. Well, not only that do it Did I say say it? It's just but that's the thing. It's like I look at people, right? Like esters one of somebody that I can look at and go and people some people go Well, she's not you know, she can't do an hour and destroy for an hour or whatever

But you but you but in my mind, I'm like, yeah, but you don't get it Yeah, she's the full package. Right. Right. Yeah, she doesn't need to yeah, right because she can act right. She's Just her personality and the way she looks and the way she moves and everything about her is so original She is on periscope opening like cans of soup and people are like Esther like they're watching her. Yeah fucking nothing. She's she's so there's so many like Things I've said about her. It's like she's just like this She can just do nothing. She has it. You have it, right? Yeah, you do and you have this weird, you know Charisma and there's just something about you that's uh,

You know, I'm not interrupting now. I am When do you I do when do you miss stand-up going to clubs and stuff? I do but um, I also don't It's also I didn't really so much anxiety. I had around Doing my sets every night. I was so anxious all day freaking out Panicking. Yeah, and so not having that is really nice But I'm hoping that this thought this carries over to when stand-up comes back I can be more chill about it I think that for me

What's going to be great is because I'm there's certain things about stand-up that I never really thought was important to me, which is um Connecting. You know what I mean? I miss connecting with my fellow comrades in the business. I miss The the ritual and the lifestyle of it and it really is Something that I feel like when it comes back, I'll never stop doing it. Yeah, me neither, right? There's something about Doing a show with your friends and then going hey, let's go to greenblats And eating with a bunch of comedians and then people you know just a lick or somebody will stop by, right?

And then there's a comic that's newer. Do you notice how he says something that's successful? He picked a success Yeah, yeah, yeah, or you're hanging out with somebody that's you know kind of new and then having the whole table roast them. He doesn't even have another name You couldn't come up with one. You couldn't come up with one. Calylas theory checks out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know, whatever their name is, but like Whatever their name is um until it's on the wall. I don't know it. Oh, how about this then? Will Burkhart? There you go Will Burkhart is a white kid who I've I've brought on the road, right?

And he hangs out with Jay Collings and all those guys Brent more than those guys, but he's a newer guy He can do 30 minutes, right? He's a great opening act for me. I like hanging out with him, right? And I think he has a big future, but Do I when I'm with Will Burkhart, is there some roasting going on? Yes Yeah, you got a roaster. You have to roast them. They have to learn to be funny in conversation and not get their feelings hurt Yeah, because it's yeah, that's it. You have to uh get tough a new layer of skin come back. Yeah Yeah, come you have to like learn to talk shit to your elders too because there's something about um Doing a set like a late night set

And you know, you're bombing But you have to change it In the spot in the moment And you have to survive in those situations And I think the roasting and Um poking and a little bit of bullying is healthy because I do because when somebody is Bombing on the tonight show, right? And they've done thousands of sets in the or

Right and bombed in the or they know how to handle it Right. There's something about bombing, you know, um Magic with honor Um, right you we bomb with honor all the time where it's like it's not going well, but you know what I'm gonna win this Right, the audience is not kind of fucking beat me. Yeah, right and you walk off stage. You could sleep that night Right, you go. Wow. They really did beat me. That's Really didn't think they were gonna. Yeah. Have you ever had a bomb a bomb that sits with you? I um was headlining in Uh, Philadelphia worm from helium few Christmases ago. No, um, uh, what's the other one?

The one they had one in uh funny bone in francisco Punchline punchline. Yeah punchline And my mom came my parents came and my mom It was christmas. She threw a wrapped present onto the stage when I was Three minutes in and had not won the audience yet So then I had to take the present And address that something had been thrown at me. I had to then your headlining. I'm headlining I had to then introduce my mom. I had to then unwrap the present

I had to explain it was a it my mom is Was at the time it was owned a ebay drop-off store For a hobby because she didn't make any money, but um, she liked seeing the things and um I'm doing the research and so she had gotten all these things from a nursing school and one of the things she got was a a Fake arm that had that nurses were using to poke IVs in and stuff So it had like fake cuts in it. It was this like arm And when she sent me when she threw up the the box, I went what is this one of those rubber fists?

Like yeah, yeah, and then it ended up being kind of one of the rubber And then it was like hard to and then I had to be like my mom has an ebay drop-off store Like the 40-year-old virgin, but it was after that and it's and I just it was just like this a lot of explanation I was so hurt that my mom was heckling me physically with Objects I was so upset Yeah, and then I didn't want to hurt my mom So I didn't want to like yell it or kick her out that I just bombed like the entire it was just the most uncomfortable sweaty

I felt so kind of like unsafe and all the it just was really bad those are the worst ones because Especially when you have like 30 or 40 minutes to go, right? And you're bombing hard and there's nothing that you can do like you throw out your best joke Right, and it got nothing. It got nothing and now you're in it, right? And you can't really Show what you feel Right, you can't this is how you feel Yeah, you have to still do a yeah, you guys didn't like that one either, huh?

But yeah side you're feeling this thing. Oh my god when you have to end with going like well take care I hope you guys do well in life. I'll never see you again, right? or um Or then early on when I was headlining I would steal like hacky You know, I mean jokes like you know, I mean you're canceled. What canceled. Yeah, I would say stuff like um I'm available for children's parties after you say a dirty joke. Yeah, right The go-tos or the go-tos right and then people are like feel hit when you're at it. Oh, you're like, oh fuck You know, I mean when they catch you that's bad. Yeah. I also I bombed an entire weekend at foxwood's casino

entire weekend The most painful like that was the worst I've I've never been back one time, right? I remember doing foxwood's There was a curtain Right. I laid with my shirt off Beyond this curtain like this And I was crying I was crying. I could still see the audience get up and bangle like that was the most weird show that was a weird

Wait, they had sofas in the front too. Yeah. Yeah. I just remember being the back like this crying And just another thing you just can't contemplate your life. Yeah. No, I thought I should quit. I was like, I should do good commercial acting Yeah, I okay, so I at that time I had a show on e that literally no one watched but I got a little bit like, okay. I've made it. It was after Chelsea ended and then e was doing like all of these sample shows Yeah, yeah, and I was like, you know, I didn't let myself go as far to be like I'm the next Chelsea or anything like that. But I was like, maybe I'll have a show and I could just tour and it'll be fine. No So I'd been focusing on the show and then I was like, guys, I got to leave early I got to leave on Thursday because I'm doing a weekend. It's gonna be great. I'm a headliner and um

I fly out to Connecticut and of course, it's kind of close to some friends. I have you know, I'm like people from college Or I'm like, come on. It's gonna be great. We'll go to the casino No, I mean I bombed from the second I said one girl was like, you're not funny and I was like You're being well, you're actually bad at your job too because you're supposed to be laughing like you're and then they're like And then of course my openers are the hackiest pieces of shit and they're crushing they're doing so I know And then my openers who are so bad are coming up to me like, do you want some tips and I was like, absolutely not Get away from me. But what but what is it?

And then at my last show it was On sunday night The owner's son who also does stand up was like, do you want an edible? And I was like, no, I'm not going to smoke and go on stage. Am I going to get high on stage and he goes It can't get worse Give me the edit Right because and then my opener was bombing for the first time. It was so exciting He hadn't bombed the entire weekend. He was bombing so hard

And he was sweating and he did 45 minutes because he was trying to get a laugh Right never got it. I was like join my club, bitch Wouldn't get off the stage or lighting him over and over again. By the time he gets off the stage I'm the highest I've ever been in my life I was like, oops Yeah, and then it ended up being fun because I was just fucking around and stuff But it was just so bad. So then on the plane ride home. I'm weeping. Okay. I'm just crying so hard I'm I have the window seat. I'm like

And then there's this black guy next to me. He's about 50, okay He's in a suit. He looks like a good guy, but you don't know yet until you talk to him. Yeah So he goes, what's wrong? He has an accident African accent. I go Oh, I just you know, I I just had a bad weekend. I have a comedian I bombed the entire show. It was so painful. My friend from college came. I'm so humiliated And I go, um, but what do you do? And he was like, oh wait, first he goes Maybe you should try thinking he's like, you know what? I think you need to do you need to try thinking about other people

He goes try doing something for someone else and it was So cutting and so true, but like painful and then I go Okay, well, what do you do? And he's like, I'm a doctor. I was born in Africa I was the only person in my village to get out. I want a scholarship. I went to France. I studied. I got my degree I now work with doctors without borders. I'm going back to Africa to save AIDS babies And I was like, do you want free tickets to the comedy? It was just so humiliating. It was like an angel next to me An angel next to me. Yeah, he was like try volunteer work

I was like try doing something selfish. It also feels good. Yeah The worst is when you have an opener, a local opener and they do a reference and the audience laugh Yeah, just like Benningham Junction and the whole people laugh And you're like Benningham Junction You know what I mean? And then it's like You because you don't know the area Right and people laugh at fucking local shit that you don't even fucking aware of Just like the tits on the highway five. You're like, what is

You know, I mean because there used to be you know the on the um, what I think it's a five Capelton. Yeah, they have those nuclear Right and they look like breasts. So headliners when I was an opener Right headliners would come down and always do a bit about those breasts I just want to just go in Yeah What does that mean that we're do we're unhelpful advice Unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalala and Annie Lederman. It's letterman and that's black son

It's RIP long story short. I can't fish my now fiance I grew up in a small town that was super against the lgbtq plus community I felt my whole life. I had to hide my sexuality for my family I pretended I pretended to be a guy as I talked with this girl for a few years as a female before meeting my now female fiance I cannot put into words how much we fell in love with each other One year. I thought this bullshit is too much and decided to meet her and it was magical fast forward years later We are getting married, but I can't shake off what I did to her

I feel I am responsible for a lot of her insecurities. I mean, am I a shit person or do I move on or what? Wait, how did the I don't understand what how did the cat fishing happen? He basically acted that she was a guy the whole time And then it's a woman lesbian couple that's engaged. Yeah, they are not females So a woman that pretended she was a guy Yeah, and started hitting on this other girl online. They fell in love. They fell in love met her in person Right revealed she was a woman and and then the girl was cool with it She was cool with it

But apparently there's lots of insecurities and it's almost like this person will call her low She can't shake off the feeling that she had lied and this is all based on a lie Yeah, but without the lie, they would never be together. Yeah I've gotten tricked by a girl that looks like a boy Really? Mm-hmm I forgive her. Yeah, how'd that pound out? Well, she just looked kind of like a boy I mean, I knew she was a girl, but the fingers got in

She creeped on up. She got a couple knuckles in. Yeah, I've never been catfished Is that is that a bad thing? I feel like now it's hard to catfish But there are like we see and like we watch 90 day fiance Of course, Yolanda. Yeah, I mean you when's your past 50? It's very easy to be catfish because you're just you don't know how to internet works and you know, Williams You know when when she remember when she was really after Williams. Yeah, and why would there be an s? Oh Yolanda? But I'm mad at Yolanda's kids Me too. It's like

fucking it Locker in a room and I'm being real It's like mom. Are you are you out of your fucking mind? It's so sad and he's not gonna fuck. He's not he's not real Haven't you had to do that to your friends with real boy friends to where like he doesn't like you You just have to people just are so they want their Their fantasy to be real so bad that they will just they'll I've lost friendships Ever telling people the truth about where I'm like this person's disrespect

They're obviously not into you and they scream at me and are mad at me and don't want to be friends with me anymore And it's like do you want the truth or do you want to let it's literally the matrix? Yeah, do you want the blue foam? Yeah? I've never been I haven't been there since I was like in my early 20s Like falling somebody for that that hard. Have you do fall people for people that hard? I get anxiously attached to people sometimes it depends on If they like remind me of my mom or dad honestly, it's like it's all childhood wounds So it's if the if a guy it gives me a lot of attention and I'm not it's usually like people I'm not that into it first and then I'm like, oh, I'll give them a shot

And then the minute I bang them or something they withdraw that I'm like, wait, why don't you love me? Like don't you are you into me? Like I get very like anxious. I put my Like my I'm giving them my I need their approval for me to be something but I've worked on that It's codependency. It's codependency. I have the same thing, but I try to mask it So I'm really like kind of fucking myself. I try to play cool girl a lot Oh, when truly that's masking my codependence. My feeling is really like, please don't leave me I need you to show me validation and all of these things. That's why we're perfect codependent addict. Yeah So, you know, it's so good narcissist. Uh-huh, but he's not him. You're not he's not a bad narcissist. No, he's open about it

He's not a true narcissist because we've been through this. We're all I'm not a narcissist at all. What the fuck are you talking about? So we talking about yourself. I watch There's this in we all are Bobby. I'm not no, I we're on the spectrum of narcissism comedians There's there's um, you have narcissistic traits, but you're not a true narcissist because true narcissist does not know How to show any kind of empathy or love or reciprocation. They're only out for themselves And they are I don't feel When the natural disaster happened, yeah, right and have you ever had this where you're watching the news, right? And you see like Oh, like Sandy Hook, right? That's not a natural disaster

The most unnatural disaster of Interesting example It was crazy so gusty that day All right, not a natural disaster, right? But it does that a tragedy happened, right? Sandy Hook, right? And you know, for me, it's like I remember the day When I was watching CNN or whatever and it was when I was watching the playground And I was just like Just in tear. Yeah, right and just looking at these poor why did it bump you at the show you were on?

You were like it was supposed to be there the mad tv was coming back out Well, yeah, so I mean I have a sense of like, I mean human being Well, be careful with that because what I learned about narcissism is that you're not You're talking about being a psychopath or a sociopath where you absolutely have no remorse or feelings towards tragedies Narcissists have feelings. In fact, the worst thing you can do to a narcissist to shatter them is to leave them being left because Narcissism at the root is true insecurity. That's how it's bred and because they're not Uh Usually an adult that is now a narcissist was a kid who was overindulged in

Praises but under under indulged emotionally. I'm not like that simultaneously. I know I'm not like that. So that's what I'm saying You do have narcissistic traits, but you're saying leave me See what happens I've gotten into like I've gotten a rabbit hole of like narcissism because I realized like there's so many narcissists in my family Yeah, I think that's why I'm We do have traits. So is that what you're saying? We don't know and I think that's important to have that sell sense of self promotion Is necessary to make it in this industry I think you're great. Bobby. You've got nothing to worry about. You're working on yourself

As long as you work on yourself, that's my criteria for people in my life. If you're we're all fucked up We all have dents. It's like what makes us cute and unique and it's cool But if you're not working on like handling your triggers and stuff like that I want nothing to do with you because it's not like I dated a guy who was had so much PTSD from childhood abuse Which I also have PTSD from stuff in my childhood, but you know, I work on it and he wasn't working on it It's like when you do that, you're just an unsheathed sword and you're just slicing everyone around you Like why am I getting screamed at? Yeah, oh my god, and it's it's just you know, and I understand where he's coming from and I forgive him

But I wasn't going to be around them. Yeah, that wallowing is so not cute They just sit there and wallow and to know that there is a solution But to not take that solution right because it really bothers them think that everything Everyone's it's happening to you. The worst. Yeah, the worst. Yeah, but I find that like that happens like I have I had a childhood friend who had who now has borderline personality and That is the one reason why like I cannot have a relationship with him at all He is a victim of everything. He he and he's so hot and cold He does he's very abusive verbally and then the next thing he's the most apologetic person

He's yelling at you one second and then like just profusely apologizing and then that's not actually that bad though That doesn't mean borderline Sometimes people just aren't catch themselves in the middle of screaming and then apologize That's true. What do you guys find about? We don't fight that much But we did he was late like I was like do you want to come with me because I like when he drives me and He missed the dog because I had the dog all day And um, he was like, yeah, but he was doing the laundry section makes me sound so bad He's doing the laundry, but I told him I had a time. I was like, I'll be there in a half an hour

and I was afraid I was going to be late so I like get there and I text him like I'm here and he's like, okay I have to change the laundry and then it's like Eight nine minutes and I'm like how fucking long does it take to change the fucking laundry? So I take the dog out He's not in the laundry room and I'm like Screaming is I like I'm like screaming and the neighbors are like, what are you doing? And then he comes and then but it was fun always

But not I'm working on I'm getting better at it But he doesn't really do anything wrong ever. No, I don't think that's borderline borderline is like Um bipolar but faster. So you rapid cycle your mood. So you go through like 10 different moods within an hour Yeah, that was my ex probably So crazy. Am I like that? No, no, no. No Like even when he's worried about like cancel culture and stuff. He's such a sub. He's such a simp. He's like the gentlest Softest like I remember when we first started dating He would always go on podcasts and talk about his like sexual prowess with me

This is before anyone even you'd even posted a picture of me Yeah And I would listen and I would giggle because I'm like, well It's just what he has to do pretend that he's this like big mighty, you know Sexual king when he really like he's such a simp. Yeah, I love him for that. He's always on his stomach He's a real belly boy He's I can just imagine you just puckering her ass up. Yeah, he's a bottom. He's my baby bottom. Oh, that's so cute I'm a middle

Anyway, anyway No, but I I did I did I I saw something or read something about Something about how like because I had a lot of yelling in my childhood and That are like yelling is actually abusive Just even if you're not yelling at the person just yelling is like surprising shocking and abusive Around people. So once I heard that I that was a wake-up call for me And I had a boyfriend that I scratched on his neck and I was like I'm done

Like I have to like not I have to help myself because if I did that to him Yeah, if I have kids or whatever like it just wasn't like a safe thing. So after that I really worked on my anger and Do you want to promote something? Why is bobby so mad? I'm not mad. It's not about him. So he has to end it. No, that's Wow He got bored. Look at his stance. Look at how he's sitting he's like I once heard you like this story. Okay. So my when when we used to have flip phones

I you know, I used to drink and I had this flip phone and it was like duct tape together because it was so I dropped it so many times drunk And my best friend I would talk to her on the phone all the time And it kept happening where I would be talking to her And I would get mine out first like I'd call and I'd be like my story my story my story my story Okay, now it's your turn and the phone kept hanging up and I was like She's like you're fucking asshole. Why do you keep doing that? And I was like, I'm not I'm not doing it on purpose and it would comically happen every time

And then I realized what it was was because of the duct tape when it was her turn to talk I'd get bored and like loosen my hand I wasn't gripping it excited and it would have the thing batter would fall out of it I was like, what's going on with you? That's how you keep his attention So like if you need him to listen to something you've got a pepper in things that Relate to him If you don't you've completely lost your audience. I think that's why we're like we're animals

Look, you start to fall asleep. No, I'm thinking about it. Yeah, so you have to pepper in things about himself Uh, right, right? No, babe. Yeah, I'm always no. Yep Yes Do you have a podcast? I do have a podcast. What's it called? It's called me inspiration. It's on youtube is the main source So that's on everyone listening. Um youtube.com slash annie letterman. She's so great Please support her. He's so upset. He's gone into a mood and um Her handles are annie letter let leader man We got to get we got to get him ayahuasca stat

And um, she's when when the pandemics pandemics over please check her out Her stand-up. She's so funny on stage and she's like, um A star rising She really is thanks. I'm gonna be in the fourth episode of the documentary Which is coming out on this Sunday. Are the comedy on showtime. They did. I saw you in the trailer Yeah, he put him in a lot of things. Have you seen the documentary so far? Am I in it? I think you are. I think thank you, but I don't know. I don't think I am. I watched it months ago. I don't know

Yeah, I watched one there, but I do believe you are in it. I think I'm in it too because people have said it Well, you just wanted to hear it again. Yeah, he did you know because I don't know what I I'm so paranoid about it That I don't know what what section I'm in or what episode or what I say or they kept in I don't I hate to point this out. You got very animated and excited when you started talking about yourself You woke up. You woke up. I've had enough I've had enough of good. I love it. I love it. Give her a round of applause Annie Litterman. Follow me on instagram It's letterman leder man. You could buy my mass support My rent and um my patreon

All my name youtube You do my podcast Will you do my podcast sometime? Yeah anytime Hey everyone, uh, that was our episode. I hope you enjoyed it a lot of fun Get your question on tiger belly by emailing us at adviceunhelpful at gmail.com We're looking for something out of the ordinary strange co-workers weird family members alien counters You can email us at adviceunhelpful at gmail.com. Once again guys, you can follow kalala at clamdk bobbyabobbly live george george underscore kim on myself at gilvitz

We love you so much follow tiger belly on instagram at tiger belly. Have a good night Hey Prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with wondry plus in apple podcast before you go Tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com slash survey