TigerBelly - Ep 279: Carlos Mencia

Episode Date: January 13, 2021

We talk Honduras dugout canoes, the times Carlos made Bobby cry, going on stage with pantyhose in your pocket, and what it's like being the most hated comedian in America.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today He's a bright cookie. Um Ready? Yep, five. Well, don't talk until I introduce you by the way. Okay Five four three two She hates screaming. Oh god, she hates it's like Amy. She's like screaming. Oh my god. Do you ever scream at her? I had her know at this like I have things that I but anyway, go ahead. Let's start from the top Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello Hello

Welcome to Another episode of Tiger Belly. Oh god. I woke up at 3 30 today. I had the shit at like five Do you didn't hear it? Not this shit. Oh, I heard it. I heard it when you did wake up. Yeah, it's just oh, I don't know what happened It was one of the you know what that I had a the loose butt thing. Oh, we're like, you know, I farted and a little You know, I mean incontinence incontinence, right? And then I laid back down and I went no no no the next fart It's gonna be the whammy. Mm-hmm. It's gonna be the mother love was it well. I went to the bathroom I didn't just test it out bro. I heard a combo of air and debris. So thank you. That was a whatever that means I gamble that I love Andrew breeze. Uh, we've got people in the room. Um

You have the captain right here, babe Bobby Lee Captain Bob Captain of the ship. We've got a white man George untrustworthy gallant Gallant. Yeah, Gallant long Farmer ish farmer ish Uh, serial killer ish. Yeah, look at the hair bomber ish. Yeah, you have Ed Gein's here, man we've got

Flat face so flat face Magoo so flat so flat and Then we've got my beautiful girlfriend soon to be wife What I haven't done is there an ounce? He keeps saying that It's gonna happen that means fiance she's already your fiance, but I haven't done the thing yet But she's just no one doesn't know how to do that. I don't know how to do your breath No one hold their breath. Yeah, yeah, he has not to do the thing hold your breath. No, don't it'll be a very long I want you to die. Hold your breath. Hold your breath. Um, and then we've got a guy as a guest listen

You know, um I've had a lot of help, you know in my career and And um, you know, there's a couple of people that have helped me when I was young, you know, and one of them was Pauly Shore We've had him right twice twice, but the but the other guy is our guest he um, I Don't know why But he he went out of his way a lot of times To get me on the road to get me, you know, he got me my agent

He he got me a car when I didn't have a car Do you remember that? Yeah, yeah, and then um he You know, he's done a lot and I you know, I've said I say it all the time when I'm on radio and stuff You know how much he's helped me and um I'm just glad that he's here because I've asked him 15 times and there's always something but um Hey, bro, I'm going to fucking Portland or whatever, you know, I mean, and it's like

Whatever, but he said yes, so he's here. So give him a round of applause. Carlos Muncie, everybody First of all, yeah, go bullshit. What you asked me one time because somebody canceled on your And I know and but but I get it. You've always been on a short list. I get it. No, no, I get it Yeah, it's got it's got to be hard for you or at least it must be it must have been hard for you I don't listen to all the stuff on the internet. I know I don't pay no attention to it. Yeah, until We'll talk about it later. No, no, I don't even mean it I don't mean it must be hard for you is what I'm saying. It's not hard for me. It's you know, it's not hard for me Um, if you care about me, it's got to be hard for you

I think I think otherwise because I think that I think before he had he he became the person that he is now Mm-hmm, and you know when he wasn't kind of like Feeling like his steady foot in comedy. Yeah, it was hard for him But I think he is so much more actualized now to be like, you know what? These are the truths that happened in my life Carlos helped me a lot. I love him and I'm gonna I will love him forever Yeah, cuz my biggest issues with him with comedy was and he'll tell you this after shows cuz I didn't drink or anything like that at The time we just sit back and I would tell these guys what they did right what they did wrong with you to fix and And Mike my big the only times I really got pissed at him like really pissed not

I'm pretending to be pissed to teach him a lesson but piss piss. Yeah was when he would go I'm just never gonna be as funny as you He would say that and I would be like what the fuck everybody leave right now that attitude is bullshit Yeah, you can't have that attitude. You got to be I'm not I'm not trying to get you to be as good as me I want you to be better than me. You're you're what comes after me. I've been doing it Well, no, what if I would say it like that and you you at the time are just like I just I don't I don't know Well, you should know what she should have said though was You're gonna be

Different You know, I think yeah, but it is I think you said it in a weird in a weird way And my whole thing was that you you're not gonna get better if you don't think that you can't get better That's I don't even quite think that I did get better. I think That's the thing that's the thing I don't think that I think I got worse Yeah, you just never trusted yourself. No, but what what I realized ever but what I realized though and now what is is that? You know, um, I'm just gonna just stay in my lane like what Koi said when he was on right Just do what I do and then let's just see where the you know the cards fall where the cars work cards fall

I um, I'm just who I am, you know, and I'm more comfortable about who I am and what I do and what my little Roller here in in comedy is what you just didn't have confidence in that in the beginning That's what I know it. I didn't do the stuff that we laugh at still to this day The stuff that we quote me and Bert when we're hanging out or playing golf about you It's throw away shit that you would never think is funny. It's oh there. I am You know or we'll pass by, you know a corn stand and Bert'll be like Or your father, you know doing jokes about the tree that's a tree That's a

I made you mad. I'll tell you what I made you made in Honduras You you but that's because you didn't understand how scary that shit was I want to go to the beginning of this because Mark Honduras because I have to bring that up Yeah, we'll bring that later, but go ahead. It's a Honduras thing So Bobby has told some version of the his strip to Honduras and how it you know Somewhere like he was like floating on a river for nine hours How all of that stuff, but he I think it's a little lopsided So I want to know I want to know how it started why you wanted to take him there. How long you guys stayed there? I

I want well first of all like all of my openers, right? Whether they say good things or bad things about me every single one is a much better comic today Having met me or having gone through that school of me Mm-hmm, then they did before because I don't get openers I get guys to work with me that I inevitably want to become headliners. It's not about opening for me You can if that was the case I would just go to every comedy club and tell them to book the openers and features It's more about teaching them, you know all the stuff that I learned and passing kind of that knowledge on but with Bobby

it was because Bobby always complained about his dad and you know being an adopted person myself and having a father that I respect I Always kind of picked people that needed parental figures to for some for some fucking reason I don't know what it was about me that wanted that but you know Steve Trevino had issues with his dad Bobby has issues with The dad Chris Stella has issues with their dad, you know what I mean? All of these guys have issues, you know, I'm saying Joe Coy like you know all of these people and so I brought them in and try To help them out but also to try to help them as human beings and and what I wanted to teach Bobby by taking an Honduras was This could have been our life as immigrants

This could have been us. This is where we could have ended up and at our best at our best We would have been the dude that owned the little tiny, you know Five horsepower motor that took us up that fucking river like in in in to us, right to his story It's like oh my god And they literally got a tree cut it down carved out the inside of it put a little tiny Five to eight horsepower engine in the back that went through the river Yeah, right so for us. It was like these guys are scared out of their minds They were like what the fuck is this, you know, I mean it takes a couple of planes to get there

Even to the point where we're on a boat, right? Well now there's it's different, but yeah back then it was like We had to fly to Sabah then we had to fly to Palacios then in Palacios We had to take that five hour or six hour trip up the river. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah That was real. I'm not exaggerating. That was real. No. No. No. No. No. This was rustic in the middle of nowhere And it's also in the boat ride. It's at night. Some of it. Yeah, right. So it's like there's no electricity And imagine you're this is fucking, you know, you know some like Last of the Mohican shit. Yes. Yeah. It's yeah. It's like you're in a river

You you look on the what is that and it's like a floating Carcass of a cow. Yes, right. It's pretty scary. Yeah, and then when you turn off the motors you hear like Yeah No, you really do though You really hear you hear like all the scary shit that is in movies where you're about to get killed or something in the woods Yeah, like whatever that Foley guy does like You know what I mean, I'm not kidding. Yeah, I'm not kidding like all that shit snakes everywhere That's why what he did scared the fuck out of me because he to him. It was just a joke

I'm a fuck with him. But to me it was like I was died dude. Yeah, I was died You don't understand you can get you get killed here with that. So what happened was it's like we're in a village It's late at night and I'm trying to sleep Okay, and I hear something that makes me giggle and what I hear is Carlos and see a laying on his back had my headphones on right? Headphones on outside on a porch some sort of porch. Yeah, and he's singing. Do you remember what are you singing? I don't remember. I do was it a blink 182. No Was it bush? No, you were singing Senado Connor. Oh

Yeah, okay black boys on both. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, right. And so you were getting really emotional. I got it. I got it Right, so I decided to sneak out of my bed and To slowly, you know creep up on him, right and he's on his back. I think he's crying Yeah, yeah, he's like really getting probably. Yeah, he's really getting emotional with the song, right? Yeah And I have emotional outlets music is one. Yeah. Yeah, and I go Yeah, and I grabbed the head Top of his head, right? I thought he was gonna send me back home. I mean he what the fuck bro Yeah, he got fucking yeah angry dude, but earlier that day

I had gone to my dad's farm where they had just killed six Snakes like very like some one of the point most boys Yeah, yeah, so that shit's in my head. Yeah, you know what I mean? So I I did get pissed off, but I was pissed off because it was like joke about other shit Don't joke that I'm gonna get fucking killed I literally thought I was gonna die. Yeah, like I literally and all fuck it bit me And then I look over and he's like Like a fucking Japanese woman

You know what I mean, yeah, so then on that at that moment, I said you fucking hurt me I'm gonna hurt you back Yeah, yeah, and she is what but I'm not a dick like that. That's not the kind of hurt He's a great great ping-pong player. Thank you great ping-pong player. Thank you. That's how I've ever played. Oh Oh, I'm thank you. Okay at times, but I said to myself by the time we fucking leave I'm gonna beat you one fucking game dude. Just one fucking game I'm gonna find out how to play you not anybody else just you. Yeah, and Two days before we came back I beat him and he was so fucking pissed. Oh didn't play me anymore I never played him. He is a pretty sore loser

There was a guy though. I remember we were playing ping-pong at Honduras. Hi man. What hi man His name is high man. I explain you. Well, there was a guy that traveled from a different town to play me Yeah, yeah, is that who he is thinking was Jaime Jaime. Yeah, he had traveled You know me like took a horse by the way got on a boat But traveled sounds like a big deal over there Because it was yeah, it was quote-unquote far. Yeah, how many miles was it here? It was like he came from Encino Yeah, he came all the way from Encino. Yeah, but how far was it? It was more Sherman Oak Sherman. Oh It was down the street. Yeah, it wasn't that far. It was far. I mean it but it's you know

That's what I wanted you to see. Yeah, I wanted you to experience that that family Yeah, that they are like there's a village and they heard there's a great player and there's like, oh, let's go check it out You know what I mean? It was another thing that it was amazing was he did what I've always dreamt of doing in showing, you know Technology to people that they haven't seen it. Oh, right to blow their minds like are you from the future? Yeah Yeah, so what he did he had one house that had a generator Because a lot of the places didn't have electricity the town didn't have electricity no electricity at all There's there's one house with and he brought an Xbox Right for the kids. Yes, or we played that. What's that game cow soul cow?

Oh, that's not so yeah soul caliber. I was on the Dreamcast Yeah, and the kids all the village kids would come in. Yeah, and play would blow their imagine Yeah, it blew their fucking minds like let alone. They've never really seen a TV, right? And then all of a sudden you can play these and I had a solar panel set up so we could play during the day Yeah, we had electricity 24-7 yeah set it up so that you guys would have somewhere to Turn on your computer stuff or whatever it was. So it was also the one and only place where I saw a

pig die, oh That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember how they killed it? I know that I couldn't open I could I remember just Can I guess? Yeah, well now. Well, I'm from the Philippines Lechon is Yeah, I don't do over there in the Philippines. They do it in the most cruel way possible Yes, they let it bleed slowly because you want to that's how you but they don't kill it first or they don't know start to Kill it. It's a long like growing up I heard like every time like Christmas or so no look or like Christmas or New Year's The day before the eve of right would always just be a long long long symphony of pig squealing

And it really scarred me because they would do this thing where it's like they would cut the throat very slowly and then harvest The blood because we would make blood stew like or didn't go on. They call them morcias for us But that's it's the blood same yeah with the entrails or you put it in the intestines stripes and you actually make Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just couldn't do it. Yeah. Yeah, like if it's it's crazy because like when I grew up into it Yeah, I just you don't really think it's that big of a deal until you separate when I move to America, right? You know everything you don't see how animals are are basically butchered, right? And then when I go back home I'm so sensitive to it now like I cannot hear it cannot be around it like this shit hurts my feelings They didn't have that at the country club that I grew up in yeah, you know

Stone Canyon country club. They didn't have that activity. We had tennis Golf right and we would eat the fancy little hamburgers. Did you guys have that the luau though? Once yeah, we do wow the whole thing. That's cuz that's halfway there flicker You know what I mean, but the but the pork wasn't a pig I want to ask you I think Americans are hypocritical in this way Do you guys put the whole pig with the face on the table? Sometimes it's like here's when I knew I was gonna marry Amy We went to Honduras my dad in celebration in her honor killed killed the cow now my wife

Even to this day doesn't eat a lot of meat and they went killed the cow out brought it back and The only thing that looked like a cow was the head everything else was already cut up Mm-hmm, and they put the head literally four feet from us with the tongue hanging out and the eye still open Yeah, and I Maybe four or five minutes later. My mom shows up with four tacos. Yeah, and we're staring at the face Yeah, you know this is normal for me. Yeah, and she just grabbed it and took a bite and I was like, I'm gonna marry you like that That's the most amazing shit. I've ever seen like any other woman. Yeah any other woman would have freaked out Any other woman that I know of would have been like I'm not what the fuck is this?

She just ate it and and it was like it was but that's not normal that that's just not yeah for us So in America no no for us back home. It's like We have the whole pig with a face and all like intact. Yeah, but you know like over here They're like, oh my god, that's so barbaric Correct, but at the same time I'm like actually no that's less hypocritical You look that motherfucker in the eye with a face and you eat that thing. That's what you killed over here It's like it's already pre-sliced and it looks pretty and it doesn't no longer looks like an animal Yeah, like my friends will tell me to watch movies about you gotta see how they kill pigs and you're never gonna pick again

And I'll I'll watch it and I'm like where was the part was supposed to be disgusting. Yeah, like where was the part that freaked me out? It was that's you know how cool it is that they kill them that quickly like you know what I mean? Like I've literally seen where they go at them and they miss with the axe and so it hits them sideways So now they're kind of stupid. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah going around and they're squealing and you know that that's that's crazy different, but I grew up I can remember I was Five years old The big the pig had a bunch of pigs and there was a little tiny one So every pig has four to eight pigs whatever and there's always one little piglet that's smaller than the others the run

And sometimes right the mom has eight titties and nine piglets So there's one the little one is gonna die so It sounds so cool, right? You you feed it milk from a cow you bring you know, so that was mine I named it. It was named it Freddy. It was Fred I named little Fred and I fed it and Fred got to be the biggest pig of all And I remember about a year later We went back to Honduras and I woke up in the morning

And I heard I went out here and Fred was just twitching away. Oh my god. Yeah ready and oh Freddy This is when I knew like I'm not normal. I ate the fuck Was Freddy delicious he was delicious dude, yeah, my mother Made this like John. It's like she's talking about. Oh my god. You didn't cry for Freddy delicious Carlos Dude, my dad worked at zaki farms. You know what zaki farms is and foster farms here in Los Angeles Yeah, okay, so they kill so I don't know if you know this you're not but the head Well now it's different, but you know the head the beak and intestines. You don't eat those the feathers

So there's there was a company called California protein products And they would sell the guts and all that stuff to them They would make protein out of that and then feed it to put it in dog food Mm-hmm. So my dad got chickens Every week so my dad would show up with like, you know five chickens on Sunday We'd play with them for five days fatten them up with corn and then the next week We'd eat the shit out of all the chickens. Oh, wow So it was normal and my mom would just tell a guy grab that chicken and we'd give it to her

She would grab it by the head and quickly and just Twist it like three times It would hear crack and then she'd drop it and then they'd run around and flop and flop and flop It would take me two days to kill one. She would dip it. I would I would be like I would I would be like, you know I mean massaging it the chicken would be like, oh, you know me I would not know how to fucking kill it because if I squeezed too hard it would feel so bad Yeah, no, you do you break the neck, but they don't die right away, bro You know, it's you can you literally see him flopping around dying

And when you don't relate feeling to that all you relate is i'm hungry, dude And you know when you live in Honduras, you know, you're local Yeah, but you're telling me I put dude. I I growl get aggressive from Honduras. I know Do you know what I'm saying? No, I got it from Honduras and in Honduras, dude when I was a kid I ate, uh, the the side of um, the side of this hill, right like dirt from the side of the hill I was dirt from the side of the hill Yes, I swear to god, so it was like a red clay kind of stuff. So I was eating it You ate dirt someone tell you this

No, no, no, I remember eating it. Yeah, but did somebody say eat that dirt or I remember I remember the smell. Yeah Smell delicious or it smells like something that I wanted to I have a theory about. Oh, no, I know why it is So I You want to do your theory and I'll tell you what it was. You had a vitamin deficiency. Uh, it was actually iron Yeah, and I'm saying and then it's called it's called pica pica is pica disease is the normal pica diseases when you have Uh, when you eat that stuff and you get lead inside of your blood That's I think I think what I learned a pica being is just basically the urge to eat things that aren't necessarily like

They're not food like people start to oh, that's right. You know what? You are right I just I'm relating it to a buddy because I know I got a friend who Had a kid who had pica but he got sick because he ate lead or some shit like that Maybe yeah, it had led probably like a wall that had like asbestos or like lead pain or something But it but it wasn't pica it was because I had an iron deficiency Yeah, because I wasn't eating enough meat because over there Back in those days, you know, this was way but 20 years before you went there So imagine how ghetto and old school it was back then

So we didn't have I believe that my uncle my uncle carlo. He eventually became a murderer, but that's besides the point I love him a lot. He's um my godfather. Oh, it's easy to kill in those countries. Oh, yeah No, you don't understand when I'm at him. I talked to my dad. I the first thing I did anybody kill anybody Like that's one of the first he didn't just kill anyone though. He killed my other uncle his brother It was a whole family thing when a misset shedding cut cut him in half Bless up I wish I didn't understand what you're saying, but I'm so like You know, it's one of those it's like old school, you know wild wild west but

Yes When when he was big my mom and her 10 siblings they grew up really poor And he would say even up until now because he was so used to doing it when he was younger He'll eat rice and strawberry toothpaste Like he'll eat rice with toothpaste because that's just something that flavored their food because they didn't have protein They were like, oh, this is like a treat So if he found like almost a half empty tube of toothpaste like in the trash or like, you know, he would just like Oh, this is the flavoring and it's really sad

But that's like third world country. You know, that's what they grew up with. That's what I grew up in Not like that. I mean, I had protein. Yeah, but he didn't I did we we didn't back in that back in the day. You can't eat a laura bar. I understand why you ate clay Yeah, I had to so when I came back and they took me to the doctor the doctor was like this kid has an eye deficiency He's anemic Have you guys been feeding them right and they go? Yeah, we feed them rice and beans and dairy There's like there's not enough iron in that shit. You got to give this kid meat Hey guys, we're gonna take a really quick break to share this amazing sponsor with you

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Use the promo code tiger at checkout Enjoy the rest of the show Ned, have you ever made me cry? Many times. Yeah, do you remember when I don't know? I don't remember. I remember some of them. Yeah, one of them was But okay, see I'll tell you one of them and I'll tell you where it came from. Okay, like it came from Um Things things that scare you in life

Things that cause trauma or things that cause trauma that still cause trauma in your life today Yeah, you got to overcome them. I know I have a trauma therapist. You got but that's what I'm saying I was trying to help you with that now didn't work how I did it. Yeah, do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, probably Not the correct way to do or whatever but but that's also the relationship we have Because we fucked with each other all the time. Like that was such a such a thing I mean, I tell you you like fucking with us and people I never fucked with you. Yeah, you did in a good way In a good. Yeah positive positive way. Yeah, but we fuck with each other so much Dude that you would make fun of our friend that we call big john

Who's literally weighs 350 fucking pounds. He's not fat and he's six foot six And this dude is looking right at him I'm saying some fucked up shit to him And that's who he is. So you love doing that shit. I don't remember. You don't remember Why do you think you ended up first of all? I know you remember because that's why you ended up in that big ass closet You don't remember So you tell the story like I just threw you in the closet you fucking asshole You put me in the closet because you came and said I can't sleep with that motherfucker

I cannot sleep with that motherfucker. He snores like a goddamn and then you went like this. You put your hands right here And you went this is him And so I called him there were no more rooms and we had a closet that was literally half the size of this room It was a huge closet. Yeah, it wasn't like some little towel closet It was huge and I go I make it seem like when stories I make it seem like it's a small closet Like a Harry Potter Yeah, like a Harry. Yeah, like under the stairs type shit That's the way he presented it. No, dude. It was a huge walk-in closet, bro

It was a huge walk-in closet that was literally literally half the size of this room And we were able to even put a like a little mattress in there There was a mattress because that's how he told it We ordered a bed. We ordered a bed, but we couldn't fit the bed in there. So we put the mattress in there He made it seem like he had to sleep standing up Bullshit And it was because he didn't want to sleep with the roommate and we tried to turn things around I didn't know. I thought that you other dudes were dicks. I didn't think that they ran out of rooms in the hotel

I thought you were just doing it No, punish me. No, why would I? No, see that wouldn't be something I would punish you for. Yeah Right, right what I punished you for was when I punished you I tried to help you get over the fact that you hated golf and you hated your dad And your dad used to be the shit out of you with a golf club. You made me remember you made me So I made you cry on that one. You made me cry because one more you made me wake up Play golf and to play golf But it wasn't for me

It was to try to first of all it was to try to get you out To do what we why we played golf and it wasn't because of golf It was to get out and do something you already knew that I was beaten by with golf clubs Yeah, but I wanted us to have fun and make fun of each other and for you to make fun of bird Or for you to make fun of me right to make fun of whoever and go like dude You play golf. We're gonna shot was that like I wanted you to be you that guy. Yeah. Yeah in that scenario But the whole time you were just like, can we go? We're on the fucking second hole. Yeah, I was literally crying we go please. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but let's get something straight

trembling I did it right. Yeah To try Not to fucking demean him, but literally to try to help him get over. Yeah, not even that I was trying to get him to have fun in a different way In in a setting that he looked at so that he could relate it to something fun Yeah, right that that's where I was coming from his whole thing back in those days was That's part of the reason why I I was enamored with him because the first time I ever saw him perform I said

Hey man, where the fuck is this next comic and they're like we can't we don't know So I go into the bathroom and the bathroom inside the comedy store In La Jolla is literally a tiny stall. Yeah, and a little urinal So if you're doing something in there, even if you're doing a toot, you could hear it and I hear That's all I hear And I'm just like, okay. Oh my god. All right. Let me defend myself. No. No. No, I'll talk to him. Let me finish this story And then I he walks out and I go to read just Master painting in there and he looked at me and he went bro. If I don't jerk off before I go on stage

I it's too much pressure. I can't handle myself and I swear to God ask him. I never brought it up ever again Like never that was that right? That's your thing. That makes sense because You guys need to get married I'm not gonna shit on that because like one of my long time like I love one of my best best friends to this day he has to jerk off at at his lunch break Every single day. Yeah, because it's just he doesn't feel right like he doesn't feel aligned Right, and it's just a release for him and he just goes into his little, you know into the bathroom And he chucks and then yeah, yeah, so I was a doorman at the store

Why what made you because I just you know, I was a new standing ovation Oh, right standing ovation. It was it All right, it wasn't it wasn't that it was original or anything No, no, no because what I what I mean is there when you're young, right you you try to You have to believe that you're funny when you're young or else you're not gonna be funny, right Tom Brady always knew he was Tom Brady before he was Tom Brady. It's just the way it is. You can't you can't You can't go up on stage and not You know, it's why he jerked off because there was probably a day when he jerked off and he went up on stage and he felt

Something different from the audience. They saw something in him that he didn't want to Distition and not really like a true release. No, it was a release. It was it was an energy thing He was really nervous. He was so nervous. Yeah, but First of all, he played the piano Yes, so I was like, okay any guy that can play the piano and do comedy Is is already three steps ahead of the average comic He's Asian Which you got to think about the time 40 years ago. That was like a unicorn. Okay

I mean, it was him and Henry Cho at one point pretty much Right, like it was it was it was that kind of a thing Margaret Cho Henry Cho like they they were both chose, you know what I'm saying? So It was that but he could play which I went. Oh shit. That's cool. That's really cool Uh, he was doing impressions of his dad, which is like nobody knows like even if the impressions are shitty That's great because nobody's heard that And then when he played his song called standing ovation, which was literally If you don't stand up my dad's gonna kill me standing ovation

Like he it wasn't even complex. He didn't even write the song. Yeah. Yeah, I basically what it was is basically I said Uh in the song I'm singing the song Right, and I'm like, you know, basically saying this drab story that if you don't give me a standing ovation My dad's gonna kill me. I'm gonna kill myself or I'm gonna kill myself, right? Right, and you have to do it right now and then at the end I'd go standing ovation standing ovation and the audience would stand Yes, and I would go good night. Yes And I love that and and the whole standing I love it and it felt good like to like, you know what I mean? Yeah I loved it standing ovation. I I saw the raw I saw the raw materials and I I said look, you know what?

That's the one thing that's like that sucks about about Being me today is that that part of what I've given To the comedy world To the openers. Yeah is is is not seen the way it is and one day when I die I'm sure you guys and other motherfuckers will say I'm sorry or whatever or they'll say the good things or whatever it is That's fine. Yeah, but uh, but yeah, because I I saw that dude and I was like, yo This guy needs direction. This guy needs like to get on stage and to do that over and over again What I wanted, you know what? I thought of at the moment. I want to I want you to open for me

To the point where you can't do that song anymore because they're already wanting to give you a standing ovation That was like that. That was the moment. I haven't got one since then my friend Let go of the song you bring the song back It was so it was so yeah, it was so but it was so ballsy dude. It's so balls Dude to ask for a standing ovation when you had the set that you had You know what I'm saying? I know do you know what I'm saying? But you know a couple times though, they wouldn't stand imagine that what happened standing ovation standing ovation No one stands. Good night. Well part of the reason why I left it

It's the worst. Yeah part of the reason why I left it bro is because they did stand up and I thought Yeah, oh shit. He made him stand up like they listened to him. That was that was part of of of that growth pattern Another thing that you did for me was um, but when did I make you cry? You made me cry golfing. Yes, you made me cry. Um Closet the closet that was not me that was I know I know but it's still the situation made me cry That was because you told a six foot four, dude I know but the third thing that you made me cry, but it helped me was when um You remember what I used to do with my hair. Yes, and then one day we were at a club and you said you threw a hat

At me and he goes you're not doing that hair thing anymore, right, right and that freaked me out because I relied relied on the masturbation, but also the hair All right, because the hair I had this one was my line, but dude you were so much better than that and you didn't know it I know like you didn't do my hair really big so that I can get a laugh up front And I knew and it was just a stupid joke. You know what it was like It was like when Jerry bed knob would go on stage and bump the microphone and then go there goes my dot and he's not even He's not even hindu And then his other stuff is so good

I'm like don't don't do that so but that was that was just a frustration for me for me It was like the minute you go on stage and don't fuck with your hair and have a great set You will be a different comedian. Yeah the minute you do that and it was up to me to tell you that because You know this about my openers. I tell my openers after they get funny all of them after they start getting laughs Right new shit come up with new shit. Yeah, why do you want to do the same old shit? You know, it's funny Why do you want to do that joke? What's the point of that right now? We're creating a set for hbo or back at that time was for showtime hbo or the tonight show

That's it. Yeah, that's that's what you got to do. You have to have that set Get that set dude Stop doing these jokes that you know already work because one day they're gonna ask you to do 15 20 30 minutes And you're gonna do 10 or 12 minutes of really solid shit And then you're gonna start eating shit or or what all comics do when they don't have enough time Oh god, so where are you from? Ah, fuck. Okay. Now you're talking to people. It's like like we know this We know this. Yeah, so I wanted you to stop leaning on that shit and I know what it was like, bro because People don't know this but for at least six months to a year

I went up on stage with a fucking pantyhose in my back pocket. All right. I knew what that was like I knew what it was like. Yeah, because you used to do that thing where you put it and then you did the Yeah, dude, and that shit. I don't know if you remember how it killed but at the time Oh, my god, it was like one time. I tracked that joke literally got a pure laughter I haven't recorded one minute and 17 seconds of pure laughter and me not talking Like that's how solid that did Asians like it at the time or no Asians loved it because it was it wasn't an anti-Asian joke. It wasn't like it wasn't demeaning toward Asian Right, it was just like my eyes look like that when he pulled it out and it was just stupid

It was a stupid joke that was a visual that just I don't even know why it was that funny But my point is is that I went up on stage with a year And I never I didn't do the joke right I just had it there because I was like, what if I need to finish with this job? You know what I mean? What if I need to do this? I I gotta have it and so for me It was like dude if I can stop you from doing that now way before it starts So that that's what it was. Yeah, it's interesting for me. It's like, you know, I started with you know because of Carlos Ned and um And I was immersed in the the the Latin

Comedy scene, you know, I would do all those shows in alhambra all these, you know, yeah, and I that's how I met Gabriel and um Jeff Garcia and Felipe Esparza and all these guys when we were young, you know, and it's like, you know I was exposed to two types of audiences. Um Pauli's audiences were which is usually like drunk, you know, I mean college guys college white people and white girls They just wanted to suck at So then you're they were like fish dude at Pauli shows back in those days. Yeah It was just chicks walking in like where's Bobby?

Like literal chicken heads. So and then Yeah, so you're exposed to that and then and then the next week I would go on the road with Carlos and and and have his audience which is a little bit more um aggressive, you know the style of comedy was a little more aggressive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and so, um So, but I always had your back. I always believe you and I always like I know, I know, I know, but I believed in the in Like I've always believed in in that comedy, especially from our perspective should always have the balance So I don't know if you remember when we were doing a show with uh, George Lopez, Paul Rodriguez, uh, fluffy

At the at the at the Arco. No at the Arco arena in Sacramento. Oh, that's right When they were giving me shit about putting you on because you weren't Latino. Do you remember that? Yeah Yeah, and I told him if you don't fucking put him on I ain't doing this fucking show. Yeah Like and he was just an opener. He was he was nobody at the time But for me, it wasn't about that. It was about How how fucking dare you as Latinos sit down and shit on white people Because he'll tell you back in those days Latin jokes were so simple like we all did

Versions of like Mexicans do it like this and white people do it like that, you know, I mean whatever that shit was It was just it was the beginning of of Latino comedy The only guys out at the time were George and Paul and me as the young guy. Yeah, but I just thought that's hypocritical I'm like, you fucking want white people to put you on their shows, but you don't want to put a minority on It's not like I'm even putting a white guy on He's a fucking Korean like and then they said well, why doesn't he perform for his people for the 12 koreans? Yeah, why don't we just go to Stockton and upped it to 100 like what kind of shit is this? I just that's the stuff that bothered me and that that's but that wasn't

That wasn't much about Bobby as it was about my people. It was about like us being You know what I mean? Like I understand right now You know and I talk about this in my act how if you're a white middle-class or not even a middle-class like if you're a non-college educated white guy That's the person right now that feels left out in this country. Right part of me Wants to say fuck him Right part of me wants to go let me get this straight. You've been here since the 1800s And and a beiner like me and a chink like him made it over you and you you want me to fucking feel sorry for you

Yeah, the fuck out of here with that shit. You have no idea what it's like After you have an HBO special to call Columbus and have the owner of that club ask you Who's going to come to see you perform? You're latina and for me to have to say well I do it in english So I would hope that fucking americans would come. Yeah, you know that kind of shit That's part of the reason ironically that I still Of all the touring comics have probably the best or one of the best deals at all the clubs is

Because back in those days, they didn't want to pay me. So, you know what I would do? I would say, okay How much do you want to split the door? Oh, well, I don't know. What about like 72 well first of all that's not that let's let's do this then How much money do you normally make at the door on a weekend? On your best weekend on your shitty weekend. Oh 7500 or 2,500. All right. The first $5,000 in sales are yours Everything else is mine Oh, well fuck. What do you mean? Well, you're getting the guarantee if if I don't make any money We'll get at least 5,000. So that's yours. So now my deals are like crazy

But they came from people not wanting to book me or not believing me or you know One time I had to rent out a club In uh, this barter eats comedy club. I don't know if you were there for that one But we literally I rented it out like a fucking quinceanera on a weekend Yeah, and I kept all the money because he wouldn't book me. You know what I mean? So part of me Wants to say go fuck yourself. You know what I mean? Don't ask pity for me bro. Ask it from somebody else. I'm not the one on the other hand

It's got to be scary, man It's got to be scary to know that the world is getting browner and darker As america is it is And what are we gonna do when we have power? That's the question. So think about like just think about this election. Look at It we some people here. This is the most diverse cabinet ever, right? That's what some people here. So some people and especially minorities are like fuck. This is great people that look like us right

But for that white guy it is Hey, man, that shit doesn't look like me anymore Those people aren't looking out for my best interests because when I hear black people talking about it They talk about a black agenda. What are you going to do for black people? Asians? What are you going to do for Asians? You know the Asian lady that that one here in, uh, california She's all down with the Asian thing. So like I can understand from the opposite perspective how some white kid is like Well, fuck what's gonna happen to me in this new world? Are they gonna treat? Me the way

Me and my people have treated them. That's the big fear and that's understandable. So going back to my original point I've always been about do What you want other people to do So if you want other people to allow Latinos when we have the ability to do it Let's not do what deaf jam did and only put black people Because there were a lot of other comics. You did fight for me. I remember that that was crazy Yeah, but that but that was like I said, dude, but that was normal I was like some of the stuff people don't understand like I would to every comedian that's ever open for me

For any period of time every single one of them at one point I went I kept going like right number two right number two right number two right number two and I'd always got to a point where I went Dude, if I hear one fucking joke that I've heard before You're off the fucking tour. Yeah, I've said that to every single comedian. Of course this Was something that I would say after I told them I'd rather watch you bomb do a new shit right now Because then I know you're trying something because I already know you're funny. You already know you're funny You're killing with this other sad

Now write something different better greater like come up with something So it was always about trying to trying to help out, but it didn't always it didn't always work So So, how are you feeling now with all this the controversy that happened a decade ago? I mean, what's what's going on 14 years ago now 14 years ago. Yeah uh See dude back in those days. Well, first of all Hey, you know what dude everything

It's it hit me Uh when I watched the episode that episode of the comedy star. Yeah, the show time thing. Yeah, it hit me because you texted me I realized like My absence from the internet in all those years allowed a narrative to be created that will never change No matter what I do no matter what I say no matter how I come about it. No matter what my perspective is um It just is the way it is like there's nothing I could do about it and that that is a very

uh Difficult thing to do for somebody who is a control freak like me Look, as you know, I'm always thinking about if I do this then that then one of the ramifications of all this stuff So my my biggest regret is back in those days You know when when all this stuff happened was to To fight it not fight it but to like I've recorded all my shows since 1993 I don't have to fight anybody on anything if somebody comes up to me and says hey, you're doing my joke I could easily go what joke is it?

When did you tell it? Let me go look and then if you did it before me I'm so I'll stop doing it or whatever it is like I've always had that. Yeah, but I stayed quiet and it just got bigger and bigger and bigger and now It's just like That's what it is. I mean I guarantee you that when this airs you go on to the comments People are gonna say why'd you put that stealing piece of shit on all this kind of stuff?

Whatever it is and no matter what I say, but why not but net why not do in the beginning um Just a blanket apology, but I wasn't see let me get this understand understand what happened Anytime even to this day, bro. Yeah, somebody says you stole a joke. I go. Okay. Well, what joke was it? Not angry like what joke dude? I write a lot. You know this I fuck and create a lot of material a lot. You've seen me You personally have seen me write 20 minutes of new shit on stage in one show I have seen that but I've also seen um

Some of your act, you know, I mean a little too close to things that have already been established like let's Like the bill Cosby bit. Yeah, I've never seen that one show. I know I know my point though is is that it's so similar Right. Yeah. Yeah that um why not just I would really say I apologize And then we could just move on from it rather than you constantly defending, but it's not that I'm defending see again It's not that I'm defending. I just who do I apologize to right? So really quick really quick

I'm not you and I hung out We we never watched comedy shows There was no Netflix to watch it. It was nothing and you never heard me talk about Bill Cosby and my style of comedy is nothing like No, no, hold on. Let me tell you start so When we recorded that special On the second recording I did that bit at the end of the show Jeff Schimmel Robert Schimmel's brother came up to me and said yo that bit sounds very similar

Do a bit that what someone called us and I said fuck. I'm tired of this shit But you guys deal with it the way you need to deal with it From the minute he told me that I've never done that joke ever since we can go through the archives of my performances I could take you and you could pull out any performer. I never did that joke From the moment I was told that but that will never be the narrative Do you see what I'm saying? It will never be the narrative because all anybody knows is From the outside It's kind of like the people that were mad at me when mine and Mencia came out and said who the fuck is this guy taking

Chappelle spot. Yeah. Well for people that don't know when I was given that show. Here's what I was told by comedy central We have two Two things to tell you. I was like, oh shit. What? Well, we're gonna pick up your show There's something better than that. Yeah, we want you to be a companion piece To Chappelle show. So it's going to be Chappelle show then you Chappelle show at the time Was the number one rated show in all of of cable television So this was a year before so by the time we got into production and the whole thing and he went away

I was pissed off But I wasn't allowed to talk about it because we didn't know if he was going to come back or not So they were like, don't say anything. You don't want to antagonize the guy, you know what I mean? And I couldn't call him up at the time. So I I'm not that kind of person I don't know how to talk to people that way so The narrative was to some people that they put me on there to try to take a spot which Which kind of was in the same vein as

Well, look, he's just he's just a latino black guy. So to speak. He's just you know, so those narratives are things that I've Tried to address, you know, and I mean I've tried to like I go up to people and say, hey, man I heard you said this. Oh, I've never said that I heard you talk about oh, I've never talked about that. Yeah. And so I I want to say You know Hey, mouse. You're brawny. I heard you did the fucking joke like this. I did a joke like that. Is that the same joke? Yeah, oh, man. I'm sorry. I'll stop doing it. My apologies. Maybe I saw you do it I don't know. I don't remember that but because I'm always thinking I usually know where my shit comes from but yeah, that's the case

I'm sorry, but I don't know how to apologize To nobody and everybody at the same time Could it be a case where like obviously you're a really bright man and I think that sometimes even for like someone like me where I I even if I'm not actively listening to something It gets downloaded into my hard drive. I'm an absorbed patron. Sure. So could it be a case where um, you are absorbing

You know unbeknownst to your conscious consciously doing it unbeknownst to your absorbing these things and then kind of like You know formulating a joke out of that thing that you didn't actively listen to Um, could it be a case of that at that time though? It's hard to believe that that that would have been the case at that time because it was I first of all at that time during my name and see ya I wasn't at the comedy clubs like they say

I was going from one club to the other club to the other club to the other club. So I wasn't hanging out What would incentivize then like I wouldn't hang out but but I was always trying to address it as my point What would incentivize like a young comic say for instance to say? Oh, I was hated. Let's listen. I was hated Hated from the beginning because One of them was mitzi changed my name, right? So she was the one that told me to change my name and bobby'll tell you Once mitzi does something like that You're gonna get all the spots

You just do And I don't know if I deserve the spots probably not because I've been doing comedy literally for like three months when I got in there, but I you know I I I got spots every single day from that moment. So that was one of the things that people hated on uh, and Then later on they hated me especially in the 90s because fuck I ran the light but I ran the light because I never went on on time dude Uh, who was it eddie griffin?

Paul mooney and dice clay We're always on before me For a blip for about three to four years. Maybe Ned. That's how I like that Ned Ned Ned You would do The reason there's I think okay. I think there's a combination of things going on, right? Okay The two things that are going on is is that um A lot of your material I'm not saying all of it, right? I don't even say most of it, you know, I mean, I think Uh, you know, I can't I don't know percentage wise sure, but a lot of your material was a little

too similar to The elk of Paul mooney or you know, I mean bill hicks or you know the cosby thing was Right, so my point and I know my point though being is is that you know to me Where there's smoke there's fire. I don't know what the percentage of it of it is secondly, right? I was there and I'm not saying what's wrong or right, but um You dice Eddie Eddie Griffin would do a long time on stage and you would bump you would bump. Yes a lot of these younger comics and

A lot of these young comics that you bumped are the big comics of today Yeah, guys like Sebastian all these guys, right, right? And so, you know with the combination of two things, right? I think that that is um Um, why you're in the situation that you're in right now. So why attack so what I'm so what I'm saying Why attack me about my name then? That's that's that's you know, I mean, but no, but that's those are all attacks You know what I'm saying like why why that I don't really I don't never I personally I've never heard See, here's what I need but just I just wanted just let me just finish my point though

My point is is that you know, you know If I were you yeah, all right, I would do You know a blanket apology, you know, I mean, I just don't know who to apologize It's a it, you know, when when Amy Schumer, right apologize for stealing jokes, right? They do a blanket apology. I'm so sorry that if I you know, I mean I heard comics that someone even specifically You know, I stole some jokes and let's move on. That's what was my next question, Ed Was that but she did that but she did that on purpose Whatever I did whatever you're talking about because it's like

What did somebody say? Oh in the in that in that video on the tv show? They didn't say I was stealing jokes. They said I was repackaging premises So now it's like I'm doing a similar premise, but I'm doing it differently. And so To me, it's like yeah, but what do you just give it like like like mooney I went up to mooney more than more than once and said specifically Hey, somebody said that you did a joke about this and I just I do this joke Oh, oh, no, no, no, bro. Yeah, it's different jokes different jokes. You you find you find I don't I don't know what to say to that. I want people to say you stole my joke

What do you think would have been the outcome though? What do you like if you look back now like what do you think? What would you have lost then if let's say this happened with 14 years ago and 14 years ago? You said, you know what? I don't know what's going on, but clearly something I'm doing isn't right I want to say but it was muddled. The problem is what he said. It was muddled, right? It wasn't just the material thing It's you're a fake mexican. Your name is nad Right, you run the light

We don't like you because you bumped me You're doing shit. That's so it didn't feel like None of those attacks felt like a genuine authentic thing. I see what you're saying It feels like you motherfuckers don't like me like why all this shit like if it's material stuff, then let's talk about that Let's talk about the material plus it's really difficult because I tried to address this That video was born for me going on stage and saying to comedians What are you talking about? What is it that you're talking tell me what you're talking about?

What am I doing and what did they bring up? A wall joke that was told literally by 10 of the comedians 10 of us wrote that joke But do you think that there is sort of like because you were on top of the world at that time? There is a different power dynamic like I know I'm an outsider and all of this by the way So I don't really have I'm looking for answers But I literally am what I my question is that let's say if I'm an open miker And I'm a complete outsider in this this isn't really like my world at all But I'm I'm giving you an outsider's perspective. Let's say um, I'm an open miker

You come to me and said tell me exactly what it is Like do you think that there's a power dynamic there where it is hard to tell somebody? Who as as as big of an icon as you to say hey, man, this were the exact things that you did And would it be would you listen would you have stopped and would you have listened to that at that time? I went on stage to confront Joe calling me carlos monstealia Because I wanted to know what it was all about Here's here's what I mean by it gets muddled and it's difficult and all I want is for those guys to say look you did this

but because trust me Comedians that have shit stolen from them. We remember what jokes those are I can tell you All the jokes the comedians have told after me that I told them first, right? We I remember those Case in point, right? I'll give you an example. I I had no problem with Ari Shafir, right? No problem. Bobby calls me up and says dude Ari just beat the shit out of me Do not put him on your show he had

just Auditioned to play jesus christ in this parade thing that we were doing on minomancia So I went to the comedy star of the night. I saw Ari. I said to Ari. Hey, what are you doing punching bobby? He's fucking little you're you're fucking huge. What's wrong with you? And he said well if I see him again, I'll fucking beat his ass again And I immediately Called my my producers and said is he booked on the show because if he's booked and you told him he's booked We're not gonna change it

But if he's not booked, I don't want you to book them and they said no, he's not booked. So I didn't put him on the show After that He starts saying I still jokes from him before that He didn't before that Bobby was opening for me. Bobby asked me to put him on, you know as a just hey, will you give him a guest spot? I always do I always say yes I say, yeah, sure. No problem

Let's suppose the 50% of them are aries and say and came after you because but I don't mean that I mean the problem with that is it gets muddled Right. Is he really pissed that he thinks I stole a joke from him? Or is it because I didn't put him on minomancia question is more like you see what i'm saying? Yeah, no, I think my question is if it's hard if 50% of them were were muddled like ari 50% of the stories from young comics were angry ari shafirs and 50% of them were People that legitimately felt like things were stolen from them And if it is if it is that muddled like how do you think it would have panned out if you

At least spoke to the 50% that didn't go out. That's what I did. That's my point I went up to those people individually and talked to them. I know it's muddled like with ari But you're not you're not cancelled because Um, you bumped people. Okay. You're not cancelled because you changed your name, right? There's one case in point which is the stealing is that the the crux of the whole thing Right. So what i'm saying is right, but I know I know it's muddled. It feels like they threw a bunch of shit at I know I understand that but all that that's what I believe that by the way. I believe that as well And that's what stuck but but the thing that um

Is putting you in comedy prison is the just the essence of the stealing. That's the real Yes, rude of stealing is such a huge deal for me It's like rape, but I don't know. No, no, no, listen to me. Yeah, you need to understand that. Yeah, yeah And I've never said this to anybody. Okay When I first started unlike most comics and you know this I I didn't have comedy idols I still don't to this day. They weren't my guys like that. I discovered them when I started doing comedy So when I first started doing comedy I was fuck stealing jokes

I was charles kozard for two minutes. I was fred green league for 38 seconds I was john caponera for the other two minutes. I was palm mooney for five minutes. I was those guys. I did what Most young people do emulate somebody and do what they do. That's what I did. So Those guys they have the right to say whatever the fuck they want about me a hundred percent by the time I met bobby I was already

Myself I was already turning into me. I had parts of me that sounded like or referenced like or were a reverent like or There was a lot of uh palm money would do like why do white people act like this but black people act like that I did a lot of that but with the latino thing the mexican thing so I I I get that but by the time bobby came around and he knows this we talked about this stuff This wasn't something that was like not cognizant. And so whenever I've heard somebody say something about stealing I've wanted to go up to him to because to me to me

When you take a joke that somebody's really worked hard on to create it because it's fucking hard to Write a joke that gets an applause break. That's just fucking hard to do that's like raping somebody and Whenever I was accused of rape. I went up to that woman and said hey man And somebody said I raped you last night. Is that what happened? And she said no, no, no, you didn't rape me And what you're asking me to do is apologize to all the women I've raped I I want to but can can can I meet these can I can I say I'm sorry to them in person? I think that there's a way to do that. I I genuinely do. I think look here's where I stand on it

It's been 14 years and I've talked to george about this and you know because I I only know it from such a Dis you know from being a fan of you and from from seeing you on comedy central and growing up and loving you You know, I think that there is a way To do it, especially today. There are so many scoundrels in comedy. Listen people who I find despicable who have Done way more I think on like an ethical level far worse things than just say stealing jokes But I do understand but there's something more to it. Okay. I'll give you an example Uh in that episode of the comedy show that we saw, right? Uh at the end of it. They talked about

Brian Holtzman, right and everybody sat around and talked about brian As if nobody knew who the fuck he was Watch mind him and see ya. Yeah I put him on my show twice. Mm-hmm. Why? because I thought he was great and he was crazy and nobody was gonna put him on some show Except for somebody like me. So I put him on that show. That's who I am Like that's who I am that is I gained nothing from it, but they don't even like they didn't even give me

An opportunity to be on that show even if not to discuss the joke stealing thing Even if just to say oh fuck brian holtzman, man That dude is so amazing that I put him on mind him and see it And then you show a clip of him on mind him and see it a show that hey, you know what I mean There were some of us that did that. I think that no one that's the fuck the part But you have to understand and it's nothing and that the internet has a mind of its own It's its own in entity. Oh, well, that's what I learned. That's what I that's what I learned. All right So what I'm saying though of whatever look what I'm saying though is is that so we live in an age now where

Going to individual people isn't gonna fix the problem. The problem. Oh, I don't care about that That's not what I care about. What do you care about? I want to meet these fucking people so that I can look them in the eye and say But dude, I'm sorry or fuck. I remember that joke. Let me think about where I created that joke Holy fuck. I don't remember. Have you done that? Yes And every single person I call says no Every single person I call says no you never took shit from me. I just know you took shit or I just know you said shit You know what I'm saying? Have you ever felt personally accosted?

Well, I remember when all that you mean because of Ned Yeah, like is were there was there ever a power dynamic because I know how much you revered Ned and how much you loved him I mean when he posted that video which by the way from my perspective was just to show that Just to have him talk about the arisha fear thing Right just to talk about that just to talk about how Dude, he got so much shit that he called me up pretty much crying and said I got to take it down Dude, I can't deal with this and from that moment on I've never ever ever ever said Anything to him about it in a negative way

Two truths at one time Ned could there be two truths you are to me somebody that I idolized you're a superstar You're fucking funny. You have your great But could you also have made those mistakes and could you apologize for those mistakes? Of course, I'm ready to apologize to the people to the people that I did this to yeah, right? to to the people that I did this to But like I said, you're accusing me of rape Don't tell me I raped a bunch of chicks and and don't have any chicks to tell me that I'm raping them You know what I'm saying? You got to you got to give me you got to give me that because here's the problem every time

I say I've recorded all my shows since 1993. Yeah, people get scared other comics get scared they get scared because um It's it's kind of like When you do comedy that is angry, right like like me And this guy and that guy you you write stuff that comes from a similar perspective because you're pissed, right? So a trump joke is gonna come You know what I'm saying in the same way like how many comedians do you think in america today?

And I'm one of them. I can't tell you exactly when I wrote it Or like I could go back and check it But how many comedians do you think are doing a joke about barack obama or about black people? Mixed in with donald trump where the punchline is orange is the new black Yeah, I'm one of those guys I guarantee you That if this was back then or even now I'm gonna get told

So and so writes a joke like that So where the fuck did you steal it from? That's that's the thing. I can never get out I I'm under it. No matter who I go ahead with it. So, um Even here here's the deal. It's like, um When and by the way if I raped anybody Of course, I'm fucking sorry and I mean that it's joke like a joke thing If you wrote a joke and you think that I did some crazy fucking shit Dude, not only will I apologize. I'll bring you on the road. I'll help you like I tried to help a lot of other comics

I just wish I could say that to somebody in person. He did not number one as somebody who's been Sexually assaulted. What you did is so petty theft compared to raping anybody So don't even put yourself in like yeah that like criminal world because it's like yeah to these kids Maybe or yeah, but okay Financially, it's not that big. It is a big deal. Do you know how many you know how many millions of dollars this cost me? everybody like I The angry part of me. Yeah, the angry part of me the part that I

Put aside, you know the part that when I When I've told myself chill out relax. You can't go there um That part of me That that you know wanted to commit suicide. Yeah at times that part of me Wants to go to these people and say I want all you motherfuckers to line up Who who who say that I took something from you? Did I take millions of dollars from any of you motherfuckers because that's what you did to me

I got cancelled cultured before cancelled culture was a part Also, they did something to me that comics up until then never done. We handled our shit together Right, there were there have been stories about kinesin pulling out a gun on dice and all that shit But those stayed amongst us that shit was never put on the internet So that normal people that don't know shit about comedy Get involved all that stuff was different and that's why it's always felt to me Different it's felt I I can't put my finger on it, but

I have no problem apologizing to people for for for whatever if if your comic out there Please Carlos Mencia at carlosmencia.com Email me so that I can apologize to you, but if you guys want to hear it I never consciously Once I got past my young comedian I'm hacky Comedian style once I became Carlos Mencia I wasn't looking at other comics like that. I didn't see other comics like that, you know

No, it just wasn't a part of my thing and by the way Most of my shit was about being latino who the fuck was I Doing that stuff from yeah, and all the latino comics We're doing pretty much the same shit as a matter of fact. I never did jokes about my father until freddy died Out of respect for the fact that freddy Well, he was sensitive did his stuff. Yeah, except he didn't like the fact that I was doing my career in dead as well But that's my point. But but here's my point. Yeah, you remember you remember freddy. First of all I almost took a bullet for this fucking guy. Yeah

Like do you know the story? I know I don't know the story, but I do know a lot of freddy sodos. Okay, so freddy sodos on stage Uh, and he starts doing his regardless and And then some black guys start yelling at him You know fucking with him really really hard. Yeah, I was emceeing at the time So I went on stage and I told the guys right in the middle of his set By the way, they were heckling him so hard that I in the middle of it said I went hold on I said, listen guys, he's an open miker Like he's not ready to deal with you guys, but I'm not an open miker. So the minute he gets off

Throw all that shit at me. All the shit you're throwing at him. Just throw it at me So he says good night. Uh, I'm walking on stage and I hear you better be funny Taco bender and I said don't worry. I'm gonna be good jungle bunny and the audience went Ooh, now this was after uh After robin harris had come. Oops. So It was all black I mean it got to the point where me and randy chervis. Do you remember randy? I like randy

We actually went up to the top of the comedy store and put uh put a piece of uh Put a put a piece of board on the o on the r and the e So on one monday night It actually said the comedy stole we did that on purpose because it had turned like into a black room And so When I said that the audience was like, oh, and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Fuck that black people if you if he's gonna talk shit to me Yeah, in a racial way. I'm fucking coming back So I'm fucking with them. Fuck it with them. Then I realized it's snoop dog dr. Dre and the doc the doc

I love him. Yeah, I fucking love him And one of my favorite songs of his is portrait of a masterpiece and in portrait of a masterpiece in the middle He stops to catch his breath, right? So he's like, um, go listen to him the doctor's back to attack and he goes So why are you stopping to catch my breath kick it? Yeah So I said to him, why don't you just use a fucking voice box? And I started rapping with a voice box and when I stopped I go, why are you stopping and I went to change my batteries The fucking crowd Goes ape shit. Yeah

It comes down and one of them and uh, uh, who was it? Uh It was a doc said, I'm a bus a cap in your ass So I got fucking scared On the right side really slowly this shadow just starts getting bigger and bigger and you know how the slow It's slow ceilings and he's just getting closer and closer to the ceiling and then I hear Nah, you ain't rich You started this shit. You go fucking deal with this shit and it was Shaq So Shaquille like told them fuck that you started this shit and and that was it and I got off stage and it was all good

I didn't think that much of it Uh, about 10 years ago. I was at the comedy store. Maybe 15 years ago 13 something like that I was at the comedy store and drake came up to me and he said, hey, I apologize man. We were wrong. We shouldn't have done that Shit, but just so you know if Shaq won there Yeah, we're gonna shoot your fucking ass for real. Oh, wow. And I'm sorry that we were wrong We're gonna shoot your fucking ass for real. Oh, wow. And I'm sorry that we were gonna shoot you And I was like, okay Thanks, that's oh, oh shit. Okay. Fuck cool. And then I realized like, oh my god. So

But he'll tell you this as an example When freddy sort of first started doing His dad his dad was calm His dad was hey come over here regardless Shining it over here regardless. He was very mellow By the time he got off he got off the road with me his father was I've done to that side of the side on the top of the bottom. I swear to god if you don't see it

I'm gonna find it and I'm gonna kick your ass and he became Coral sized. Yeah, right I've never talked about that Outside of me in some friends. Why? Because that's what happens. That's not stealing That's him seeing me being influenced by me and seeing that his father got funnier the angrier he got the more that comedic torque was done so Maybe if I was another comic I'd say he stole that shit from me, but I don't feel that way

I feel like he was influenced by me But that's That's who I am. That's what I do and so But you know what man, I mean for any comics out there like I said, I would love to I would love to know so that I'm an analytical man by nature. You know what I mean? So I want to know if I've hurt you or if I've done Something wrong or if I but I but fuck you know what? Yeah, it feels like I was this fucking comedy goblin Going around from fucking

Well, no, that's not club club because other clubs don't talk shit to me just a comedy star Like I was going to the comedy store in the back fucking. Oh that shit's funny Let me let me let me take that shit and flip it and turn it around and It just it wasn't it wasn't like that. I mean that's that's not the way it ever was and so all I ever wanted was For for you to show me that it's not just hate basically Yeah, I I get that you hate me, but do you really hear me because I still shit. Oh, I did stare your shit. What was the joke? Oh, fuck. I'm sorry, man. I thought it was because my name is Ned or I was pretending to be Mexican or all these other fucking attacks So all I've ever wanted was a clarity in it and to this day

for like you You're saying that I did that a lot But there's only like two examples of me on the internet really doing that And one of them is the wall joke and the other one is the the cosby joke So for the fact that supposedly I was doing this all the time There should be a fuckload of more people in jokes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm not okay. I'm not but I get it

Listen, I'm not saying listen. This is my last hurrah, bro. I never saw it the way I saw it when I saw that it's It was just It was depicted as if that's the way it is There's no possibility that it's any different. There's no possibility that there was something else happening This is why she said you know because she's trying to

Find a way to say well, maybe you didn't do it on purpose But you had to have done it right because all these people wouldn't be saying this shit if you hadn't have done it And and I was sitting there going well, if I did do it like you say we're all these fucking comedians call me tell me But what I realized when I saw that was That's etched in stone Carlos must see as a joke thief Hey guys, we're gonna take another really quick break to share one of our personal favorite sponsors Better help man. Nothing has helped me more than better help

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In fact, so many people have been using better help that they are recruiting additional counselors in all 50 states Special offer for tiger belly listeners get 10 off your first month at betterhelp.com slash belly. Enjoy the rest of the show There has not been one day not one Where i haven't thought about this Or where the internet doesn't have A handful of people not one Saying shit what i was trying to get at was there are people like me and fans like me Who are able to um

Um discern you know who don't see someone as a monolith who doesn't see you and paint you with one brush You know with one paint color like that's there are a lot of people like me who grew up You know being such fans of yours who if we let's say Heard you say you know what dude 14 years ago. I fucked up royally I haven't done that since and I want to move on from it and I would be like Oh my god, I wish I could say Carlos. I want to see you every day for the rest of my life exactly And I wish I could say that I think that you can but it what that's not that's not real because I I wasn't doing that on a conscious level on your in your heart. You don't feel that way

No, no, no, I know I wasn't consciously doing that. Yeah, I asked these guys who I have hurt. Yeah To tell me so that I can you know look When you're following the 12 step program, which you know, well When it comes time to apologizing you have to apologize to the people that you hurt Correct You can't just give a blanket statement and say I was a drunk and I was an addict and well I did that I hurt some people. No, you have to call those fucking people You have to talk to those people you have to look at those people in the eye

And say I agree. I'm sorry that I did that to you I'm sorry. That's what I've always wanted to be able to have that catharsis for myself On behalf of of me. Yeah to say to those guys like dude I never knew that I did that. I'm so fucking sorry. How can I make it up to you? What are you doing right now in your career? You want to open for me? Do you want to do some Tour dates? What can I do to help? You know what I mean? I don't have a tv show But you know what I mean? I'm still fucking doing the road. I still do the numbers You know we're still doing like I would but I I never get that and and I wish that I did

And so a hypothetical apology. I don't have a problem with it. It feels fake Not to me But to them that's always felt fake Until now because now I realize that to a lot of people I am that and that's all I am and no matter what I say no matter what I do That's what it is. Well, fuck those people but it's different. It's difficult because I don't I don't have a problem with you suck. You're you ain't shit. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da doesn't matter There is no comeback

for Whose jokes are you telling now? What jokes did you do? Oh you wrote a new joke? Like there's no comeback for that You can't I can't say anything to that. All I have to all I can do is read it and try To let it not break my heart Crack my soul You know, but I in my mind and maybe I'm not seeing the whole picture, but in my mind I see A path of redemption for you and I believe in it so strongly and I think that the where it starts is like you said

individually apologizing But doing both doing the blanket statement anyways, whether you think it's genuine or not how it lands on people Is is is we can't control that but doing both doing the blanket and then doing this And then I see somebody that I grew up with making amends Who I know is an amazing performer and I want to see him up on stage again in in the way that he deserves Yeah, I don't have control over that. Like I said, I you know, I've I've called individuals to apologize. I've called them to say, you know, sorry. I bumped you. Sorry. I did that You know what I mean the caparillos of the world, you know, but then again

Bobby I'll tell you I never went on stage at the time I was supposed to in the first few years of my career Before I became Carlos Mencia. I went on stage Dude, you remember being there till 2 30 in the morning Because I had a spot at 10 45 And great people showed up and Lauren showed up and that culture was perpetuated though by That next generation which is you and Griffin and that's and not to say that I couldn't wait to bump people bro I know the behavior though But that behavior after you guys left ended that culture ended. We don't have that culture anymore

Yeah, but but I I agree But I feel like the guy who got a toilet plunger in his ass to be an alpha beta kappa And then all of a sudden I'm like, well, I got a plunger Who's asked do I get to put this in and they went, oh, we don't haze anymore. Yeah, we don't do that anymore And I'm like, well tell that to my ass bro because I want to I want to put this plunger in somebody's ass Do you know what I'm saying? Like I Dude, you were there. Yeah, how many times did you see me perform after midnight close to one?

In front of six to eight drunk motherfuckers and kill it Mm-hmm and kill it. Yeah. Yeah, how many times did you did you see that a lot? Yeah Another thing that and and listen, I take a hundred. I want everybody listening to understand I know I was wrong. I get it. I'm just telling you how it felt at the time Dude going to the comedy store and hearing Six to eight comedians in a fucking row Oh complain about the audience size

And not give it their best and then for me to go on at midnight And just rip the fucking crowd apart And then see that blue light turn on And know that I'm going to give that shit back to another comic who's going to come up and say oh look at what happened It was so fucking hard Hard because I wanted that audience to keep laughing. Yeah, it had to do with me being there But I wanted them to enjoy that laugh and I fucking knew he used to hear me say to the audiences Hey, listen, you guys had a great fucking time. You cannot leave. I'm not gonna leave

You don't leave you got to give this next guy a fucking chance So stay here and I would literally tell the and I would sit right by the stage so that the audience could see that I wasn't leaving like I I wanted to Help them out, but fuck it. Dude. It was so hard for me as a guy that was like the three people They're still here. Let's fucking do it. You know what I mean and have those other guys do that It was it was hard and I'm not wasn't right by the way. I know I wasn't right. Let's tell you the way I felt Let me just say this, okay

um This is how because we have we have to close out because the the ghost is up and um A secret. Yeah. Yeah. That's a secret. That's a secret. So this is how I genuinely feel about you. Okay You um You you you obviously I've said this you monumental help in my career and I really thank you for all the things that you've done No, just take it. Don't do I'm gonna tell you why I did it. So you know, let me just finish my blanket statement

Your blanket. Let's do all like yes. I'll do blanket. I'll do blanket. You do a blanket. I'll do a nice warm heavy blanket. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah um You know, there are some truths for me number one um you're one of the best performers I've ever seen and You know when we used to do that dog hot show up in that bay area Yeah, and chapelle and all these guys would go up before you and you would be the last guy And you would just I remember sitting on the side of the stage

and um, see you just rip Just rip after all these heavyweights. I'm talking about cat cat and you know Pablo and Uh Chapelle all these fucking you know, hugely you tell you Gabriel glace. I mean they would go up there and rip in a row and then Ned would Um close it out and he would be the headliner and it was Absolutely just starting to watch. I really believe that you're one of the best performers I've ever seen um

I think that um I I believe that you know, there are certain things that you didn't consciously or unconsciously do But I think that there were some you know elements of your act that were um, you know too similar to other people's acts and And regardless if you're conscious about it or not, you know, it is what it is, you know, like trump says and um Okay, it is what is and and and um For me, you know, there's there's certain codes that go on in comedy like for instance I remember one time johnny sanchez said, you know, I'm doing this new bit about um,

You know, you know me walking through a spider web and but people from afar Can't see you walk through the spider web. And so, you know, I mean, they just think you're a crazy person, right? Yeah, and I looked at him and I go, uh, yeah, brian reagan does that bit and um johnny goes. Oh, well I'm not gonna do it anymore Right. There's that like a little code, right? And I I believe that if you had written that bit that you would continue to do it You know, because if you had written it, but but the thing is is that brian reagan had already done it on a special I would have I would have asked. Well, that's that's very similar Yeah, I'm just doing a blanket statement. But that's very similar. You can't right in my blanket. You can't interrupt

Oh, sorry. All right, my bad Um, I think that there are certain things in your act that um Like the bill kosby's joke that that joke was bill kosby's, you know on you know Bill kosby himself, which is bill kosby special is like the white album It's like one of the most famous specials out there. You did a bit that was a little Too similar to that bit, right and it's you know for me Unarguable, you know It's unarguable to me, you know, but that being said, you know, um

So there are things that are said about you on the internet that aren't True like for instance, you know, there is this, you know You know a narrative that you're like this bad evil kind of a guy who is selfish and um For me, I don't see that. I see a guy who's really just I've seen you help Me delia coy, you know, cristela trivino freddy soto. I mean the list goes on, right? And we all came from your you know your school of comedy. I've learned so much by touring with you, you know, um

John blue leslie. Yeah. Yeah. I put leslie on on my name and see you before anybody knew. Yeah. Yeah, remember that and so you put my Ex-girlfriend sarah on remember without even auditioning Well, sarah is also really talented. Yeah, but my point though is is that you know by having you on I was really nervous about it, you know, um Um, and I just feel like, you know, we're just gonna we're just at a point where it might be a situation where, um It might be, you know Unfixable, which is a sad thing. You know, I mean, I think that it takes more than one conversation And I think it's gonna take multiple maybe is it my blanket turn. Yeah, go ahead My blanket term is twofold and um, I'm gonna preface this by saying that

Um, I'm a complete outsider and from comedy. I do not know the ethics of the wild wild west Of the wild wild west. I don't know. Um, I don't know any of that stuff. All I know is from my vantage point These are the two things I believe I do believe that you were a great man That might have made unconscious mistakes unconscious or not. They were mistakes I also think that People need to get over it because it's been 14 years. Those are the two things that I would like to see merge I would like to see Uh, uh, uh the apology and I would like to see

Um, um a forgiveness those are the two things that I would like to see happen because it's 2020 you guys It's it's enough so many other comics have done way fucking worse things including sexual assault Yeah, I don't want like why would you not allow somebody back in for something that he's willing to apologize for? That's my blanket. I just want to add on that. It's a positive thing. Okay. Is is that that is a very good point is um You know when comics get in trouble, right? Like, you know, I remember dain was accused of you know Some thievery, you know robbing williams, you know stole That's I mean he was the big one of the biggest absorber chomps

He actually had a you know a hotline where comics could call in and go He stole this joke from me and then they would write him a check, right? A lot of these white people, right? They get accused of things right and they stay in prison for a week. Maybe six months, right? So with some of the sexual stuff like, you know There's you could see a pathway to louisie case, you know, I mean return, you know, which is he's slowly doing right? It is odd to me that You know that you're in prison for 14 years, right without really a lane, you know to get out because at the end of the day, you know, um You know, I think you were um You know, I think you've been in prison for way too long. There's that's why it's difficult because

It's coming from somewhere else Yeah, as well. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, you know what I mean? But think about what you said Is this your blanket? Sure, I didn't show it Yeah, I see Casper. Okay. Okay, uh I I get told Hey, you do a joke that's on similar somebody else

And I stopped doing it. That's what happened, right? Because of the confluence of events Somebody that didn't know that that was not supposed to come out Right didn't come out on the original special that aired on uh comedy central They did it with the extended version wasn't supposed to be on there. I told them not to it did but I did What you say should be done. I was told that I did a joke that was similar and I never did it again The optics are different because it comes out on the special and now you say well, that can't be so Your point of view on my point of view are completely different when it comes to this

Your point of view is dude, you did it. I saw it. My point of view is yeah I'm that specific show on that specific night. I was told you can call them And I never did the joke after that. That's what I did yet Because of the hate because of me going long because of feeling Other people are feeling disrespected by me because other people Feeling that I got too many spots or that they couldn't fuck with me or that I had some power that I didn't have Um like somebody said to me the other day that I that I uh

that I kicked Joe out of the comedy store because I had the power. I'm like first of all Mitzi was alive I don't know if you know anything about Mitzi. You can't tell her to do shit at her club. Yeah. Yeah, so no No, that wasn't me and second of all, I would never tell him to not do that shit That that that was a decision that they made because from my understanding We weren't supposed to record at the comedy store and it was put out there that being said all I've ever wanted

Was to meet the people that I hurt So that I could say i'm sorry to them because that's how I grew up My brother is an alcoholic. I know the steps. That's what I've always wanted But that's not who I want apology to is he recovering your brother. Yeah, he's 35 years clean Um, but that's what I realized today is that's not who I need to do An apology to believe it or not. That's not who needs my apology The internet does The internet believes that I am this self-centered

egotistical human being Who only cares about himself who goes on long despite anybody else? Who changed my name to take advantage of of the mexican thing? Not that my mother who raised me as mexican. No, that's not it. You know, it's this the internet believes that I am this person And there is nothing that can be done

and all I can say with honesty to the internet is If that was going on at the time, I was completely unaware of it but If you loved me or you thought I was great and this tarnished it because you feel like I did it I'm sorry that I made you go through that. I'm sorry that that was that that that that was the case I only wish that I could that that I could uh That I could say with specificity. I'm sorry about these specific things to these specific people But to those people that felt like I betrayed them

That I wasn't who I am that I cheated my way to success That I cheated my way onto the comedy scene that I didn't have it that without me stealing jokes I never would have been where I am that I stopped other comedians from being great or Took their greatness and made it my own to you, I apologize because I was never aware that that's what I was doing It was never a part of who I was I was always even during my dependency trying really hard to uh

to To help other comics. There was a mandate on our show If a comedian goes for the part and an actor goes for the part and they're both the same always give it to the comedian Yeah, that that's That's what I was and you know I'm not I'm not a kid anymore, but I'm not dead So, you know, you guys will have the chance to see it all over again. Remember the gay pirate sketch perform, of course That was fun. Of course. I remember that day. It was you me

Jamie Kennedy and Tracy Morgan. Yeah, it was what a fun day. That was yeah We had that's what I tried to do put comics and give them Yeah, you know, you know, I I've always had you know, I have I have really fun memories of you back then and I um and I um, you know Since the the controversy happened 14 years ago, you know, I You know drifted away from you. Sorry man, and it sucks. You know, I did but I did I consciously Cut ties. I know you stopped. I know you to get to get it because it was there was something really ugly

You were scared. I was scared. Let me say to you. I'm really sorry that you had to deal with that The minute was crazy. You got all the shit from from the internet for posting that video and then somebody sent me an expert of you on rogan's podcast And depicting me putting you on that video As if I was overpowering

You from a shitty perspective I will defend you there from a mean perspective like like I was like, you know It made it seem like I sent thugs to go talk to you when I sent Bert to go talk. I will defend you there. Absolutely And he knows albert and he he Just by virtue of having lived with him for the past eight years When bobby is backed against a corner in his likelihood. I know he will do anything to He is

I'm really thankful that this shit happened to me and not some other comic because I really believe That some other comic would have probably Committed suicide Or done some really fucked up shit with what happened to me I always Understood why you did what you did in the perspective that you came from. I was never ever hurt

That's not true. I was never offended nor did I ever not understand why you chose to do what you do my my my only Issue with you Was always You've seen me Create 20 minutes out of nothing more than once

You have seen me look at you while listening through radio station and say I'm gonna make that funny tonight and you say No way and me doing it and It it has bothered me or sometimes that you can see that and know that that's what I do and then over here think that I Literally lifted a bit from an iconic Thing that didn't that never made sense to me. That doesn't make sense that you know this for a fact You've seen it. You've seen me do it and then on the other hand you go. Yeah, but that joke is like

That is always that always made me go. I don't understand why Those two can exist in the same world in your head Could it be that he believes both that you do you do are you are I do believe both? I believe both Interesting. Yeah, I believe both and I believe both can exist Um, both can exist, but I've never held it against you. Yeah, you have always You have always and will always be you know, I remember getting the phone call that you crashed that you flipped the car Yeah, oh my god, didn't you look at the car there? He left the car there

Oh That one yeah, and you know, I so like But but that's that's but I never did it you could you could have gave me a car that wasn't a stick Oh, that's on here. That's your fault. Wow I've never used a stick before This motherfucker was complaining that he couldn't do spots in La Jolla. So I got him a fucking car You know what gulag, baby, thank you Thank you

See, this is all I've ever wanted. Yeah. Yeah to have a reason to apologize. I am so sorry that I got you a stick shift Automatic what an insensitive automatically and I am to not understand that as an asian You needed a simpler car to drive My bad, I am so fucking sorry, but now thank you for coming here and I we want you back To whatever yeah, yeah, I think we could tell different stories. We'll tell you we have so many different stories I also think that this is like not a one one conversation one and done thing like I think that This is yeah, we can I think there's a way out of this Look, I don't I don't I don't care anymore

I don't care because the the hurt's already been done. The pain's already been there. I've tried to apologize I did to the internet any individuals call call me text me whatever it's open It's open. You know what I mean? And by the way, I've talked to cause me about it. Yeah on this podcast on our So I did talk From prison. No, no, no, this was This was way before you just see that Yeah, yeah, I said, oh you got accused of rape too I love our fans because at the very least I can speak for our fan base when I say that they are very open-minded

Um and very forgiving of people's mistakes and faults because they love someone like Bobby and they love someone like me And we have made so many mistakes over the years And they have rallied behind us anyway And I I can at least speak on their behalf and say that they're going to be open-minded to you being here and hearing you out And all of that also I do as a quote the final closing statement This has gone way too fucking long. Love you, Bobby But my final closing statement is what gave me a little a lot of relief was Do you know how much Korean vagina that has gotten me in my life, dude

That one in the aridang song. Oh my god, dude Oh, when when when Kalilah and I a couple years ago went to your house for that barbecue Yes, and I saw your son running around having fun, right? It gave me a and just seeing everyone just, you know, there's people tacos being made and you have, you know There was family there, you know, and it felt Like it did back in the day, you know, I mean that you It made it gave me a lot of relief that you, you know, you have children now your father And that you have a complete life, you know, you know, and you know that um, and I feel like, you know, I don't know your son

But I feel like he's he seemed like of just a very happy A kid is I can compartmentalize. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. No, dude I will end with this don't don't confuse it. Okay. I'm a strong human being and I will overcome anything but I've only been a comedian my entire life. That's it. That's all I have Yeah, and for the craft that I have given so much to That I have dedicated so much of my life to The thought of If I died right now

My legacy would be what it is It's not easy. Yeah it is Utterly painful. Yeah. Yeah, it is my existence It is how I provide for my family. My kid is happy because I take care of them. I take care of them because I do comedy I tell jokes. I mean people laugh But you know to be reminded on a consistent daily basis that That part of the world will see me or has seen me up until now and it's been a long time

In that negative vein Trust me, bro The depths of the pain Dude Listen, I don't think you should air this but I'm in a vulnerable place You know how you know that I have some fucked up family and some fucked up friends I've stopped some of my

good friends from Doing some fucked up shit to people that talk shit about me Even that Was easy and not easy. Mm-hmm part of me wanted to say Just don't tell me. Yeah, don't tell me what you're gonna do. I want to know about it. Yeah Yeah, but if that's what you feel like you got to do go do it. Yeah. Yeah, you know how hard it is to pretend Oh, man, it ain't shit. Dude. What are you talking about? Stop that. No, man. I'm good. I'm doing great We're sold out this weekend blah blah blah. You know what I mean?

It's not It is it is well, let's end it on a lighter note. Um, I'm glad that you and I both have fucked up pandemic bodies But I love you, dude But I just but I just want you to understand that like that that's real shit Dude, people don't see that people don't know that. Yeah, people think, you know what I'm saying, so anyway I was real with you and then it goes away. Yeah, and then it's like gone It got too dark for pop. No, don't get fucking. I told you you might not want to air it. I'm just saying

Yeah, anyway, um, you want to do it on how unhelpful or not working on time standing ovation I know with that. Let's let's yeah. Yeah. Let's you remember the song. No, I don't remember give me that a round of applause You fucking piece of shit Do you remember it though for real? I don't remember it Maybe I think I remember the chord crazy. You have a memory. That's like like Okay, it was it was it was it was uh I'm a I'm an asian that doesn't get good grades. That was one of them One of the verses was I'm an asian that doesn't get good grades. Uh, my father's disappointed

Wait, wait Something about your father being disappointed. Yeah, because you're an underachiever You're oh another line was you're the only asian that you know, that's not good at math Yeah, yeah, and the only thing you have is stand up and if they don't give you a standing ovation kill kill myself You're gonna kill yourself. Yeah. Oh, I can see that why it worked. So that was right. Yeah, so I'm gonna kill myself But it's a slow song. It's not it's very slow Again survivor forcing people

And then it was standing ovation And he would keep saying standing ovation until they stood up. Now. Do you play warzone warzone? Yeah on Not call of duty. Oh call of duty. Uh, sometimes It's hard for me to play those games because lucas can't play them yet Because they're above 18 and amy doesn't want them to play those games. So well, you know, I play every day Uh warzone, I would love you to get on warzone so we can go on the go out and do a battle royale together Okay, no being real. It's fun. All right. Let me give it to lucas first. So he because he's badass like he's literally gamer Yeah, but it's you it's you me somebody else, right? We'll go out into verdance. Can we fight playstation?

It's cross it's cross. It's cross play. So what are you playing it on? I play it on a playstation. I play it in here, but you could play the x bucket. We still play No, no, can I play it on the plate on the computer? You can do it on the computer, right? Yeah. Yeah Because you don't have a playstation or xbox. I have both go buy it. Of course. I have both All right, give him another round of applause. I'm not broke. Jesus fucking christ Oh Hey prime members you can listen to tiger barely ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast

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