TigerBelly - Ep 284: Matty Matheson is our Joy Boy
Episode Date: February 17, 2021Bobby's dad's ashes tremble. Khalyla finds her doula. Matty is the metal morale puppy. We talk famous Canadians, marrying The Craft, butter rose rockstars, living in a spookie dookie nei...ghborhood, and balut boodle battles. Powerful Truth Angels: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/powerful-truth-angels/id1502846079Soup Competition - www.patreon.com/tigerbellyPlease support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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You're listening ad free on Wondery Plus. Is this coffee or is this a dessert drink?
What is it? It's a lot. It's a lot. I know but is there caffeine in this? Yes. I drink five of them at night. Go right to the bed.
What is it here?
Anyway, don't say anything to say your name. I don't want to. So bully.
What are the rules?
Three, two, one. Hello. How are you and good evening and good night. My name is Bob. I am your captain and I am here with you.
And I'm very excited about today's episode because we have a special guest. But before I bring him up, I'd like to introduce people in the room.
We have Kalyla, who's my friend and my life partner. And also she's my confidant. We've got Flat A. Look at that face.
Do your profile. I don't know where you went. I don't know where you went. Look at that deep V. I'll be honest with you. Can I just say something nice about you?
I truly love you, man. Don't text me, man. Yesterday you texted me so many times about some dates or whatever. And I said, don't fucking talk to me. And did I call you back?
I did not. Do you know why? Monday is my war zone day. Is that one day? Yeah.
And so I want to introduce our guest. Welcome again. Oh, and congratulations to Bloodbath. Thank you. That's interesting. Good.
Maddie beat you too with though. He congratulated me. So I want to introduce our guest today. So there's many things I want to say before I say his name.
And so he doesn't talk yet. Number one, I'll have to be honest with you. You know, I don't know a lot of chefs. I've met Roy Roy. Roy Choy.
Roy Roy did ours. Chang Manmaster, New York all day every day. David Chang, even though he doesn't really like me.
He doesn't like you. You don't know that. Yeah, but there's a vibe. You know what I mean? David Cho can say all he wants. No, Chang likes you.
He only says hang I think because I'm friends with Joe. I don't think he's ever said I don't think it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. No, I'm saying I don't think
Joe's ever said that David Chang likes you is what I'm saying. I know I just made that up too. I just made that up. So then I also know the Australian Kurdistan. He's got a thick, thick hands.
Oh, yeah. He cut the meat. I met Boyardee, I think, one time when I was drunk. You know, Kristen. I know. And I know this young gentleman from Canada that's on our program today.
I have to say something about his face. His face has always been universally likable. There's never been a period of time when a face like that was ever oppressed or beaten or pushed down.
In fact, if he was a Jewish man in Nazi Germany, he would have been house Jew.
What does that mean? He wouldn't have been in the shower. Hitler would have been like, you're cooking in the house. He has a beautiful, cute face.
He has a face that children can draw because children love to draw gigantic circles. I would say the same about you. Exactly. And I'm not going to argue against that.
I have a very drawable, fat, chinky face with little slits. Is that what you want to say? Because I will beat you to the fucking roast. My face is big and slitty.
So that's that. It's like a circle in someone took a sword like that and sliced eyes.
I've been staring at his fucking cookbook that's been on my fucking table upstairs, yellow cookbook with his fucking face on it, that beautiful face.
Yeah, like that. He's from Canada.
Here's another thing that I know about him is that he did my brother's podcast before ours, which is fucking a betrayal.
Shout out though.
Shout out to Steve. Love ya.
Oh, sorry. Anyway.
Maddie Mouthson, give him a round of applause.
Hello. Hello.
That was nice. That was nice. Nazi in-house Jewish guy to drawing children's faces. My face as a baby.
Maddie, you know, we were supposed to have you early. Wasn't he on the books and then something? What happened?
We were on the books and I was going to change the flight and then I just didn't come. And then I just didn't come.
Why did you come?
The country's trash.
I was like, should I go? And then I was like, I can just keep making money in my own country.
Do you even have a capital in your country?
Ottawa.
Do you have a capital there?
Yeah.
Yes, we do.
What does that insurrection look like?
It's just a bunch of white people with powder lids, walking around, women's eyes to the ground.
Ending up pamphlets.
Yeah, it's very...
So, Maddie, you live in Canada.
I have to say about Canada, though, is you guys are just so annoyingly nice.
We are.
It's annoying.
We're nicer than you.
Me specifically.
For all you people.
Americans.
Yeah.
You guys are annoyingly nice. You guys are annoyingly talented.
It's annoying.
Michael J. Fox.
He's Canadian.
Yeah, he's Canadian. Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey.
But what about the music?
You know, Arcade Fire.
Okay.
Isn't Arcade Fire Canadian?
Yeah, if you're a white college student.
Fuck you, Maddie.
Matt Pond, PA.
Is Chad Kroger Canadian?
Yeah.
Van City, baby.
Yeah.
Party Nickelback style.
Yeah.
You guys have really good talent up there.
Celine Dion.
Celine.
Never heard of her.
Oh, yeah, she's new.
Yeah, she's great.
She's great.
She's done well for herself.
Very well.
She's no Whitney, though.
No.
True.
I'm gonna throw that out there.
That's fired.
I would say she's definitely on par.
You think that she's on par with Whitney Houston?
How many Whitney Houston songs can you say?
Like the names of and how many Celine Dion songs can you say?
Everyone just knows the Titanic song.
I don't know any of them.
I have Celine's greatest hits, and there's like 36 of them.
Start at two and maybe I can finish it.
Oh my God.
Okay, hang on.
Celine Dion.
There were nights when the wind was so cold.
Yeah, that's it.
There you go, right?
Yeah, that was it.
Amazing.
Give me another one.
Let me see.
You know the Titanic song.
Let's go ahead.
The Titanic.
Yeah.
Everybody wants the world.
I see you.
James Cameron, yeah.
Anyway, that's great.
He's Canadian.
Is James Cameron Canadian?
Yes, I'm Chippewa.
Damn it.
Oh my God.
Which is right by where I live in Ridgway.
Wait, wait.
You have directors from there, too?
We have directors.
Oh my God.
Jake Gyllenhaal.
Holy fuck.
I want him to come in my mouth.
He's from Winnipeg.
I want him to come in my mouth.
Justin Bieber.
Justin Bieber.
Justin Bieber, come in my mouth.
Come in my mouth.
Come in my mouth.
Yeah.
Pam Landerson.
Pam.
God bless Pam.
No way.
Sandra O.
Oh, she has.
Yeah.
Sandra O is from there.
I know a Grace Park.
Grace Park.
Do you know who she is?
Korean.
Yes.
Let me ask.
He got it.
He got it.
Let me watch you.
Let me watch you.
Let me watch you.
She's been on.
Korean.
Battle, Sarge Galactic.
Yeah, exactly.
Do you ever see that?
Do you ever see that?
I don't watch TV.
I know, but you never saw it.
No.
Can I just, have I ever talked about Battle Sarge Galactic on the show?
Have you?
Maybe in your notes.
In your notes.
George.
In your vast notes.
I want to say this though.
If you've never seen that Battle Sarge Galactic.
First of all, it's a pretty much all Canadian class.
It's based on Scientology.
No, it's not.
Oh.
They had the pot face Mexican guy on it.
What's his name?
Edward.
Edward James, almost.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So Maddie, when did you start?
Cooking.
Oh, so, you know, I had this really nice stand.
My mother used to make bread every morning.
Stand underhand that flour used to fall on.
Yeah.
I'd look up and be like, one day I'm going to be a chef.
Yeah.
Two tons of cocaine and kill myself.
And it's just like, you know, I just, I saw everything.
I did a couple of blanks.
All right.
I'm not, I'm not asking for the origin story of fucking Maddie.
Okay.
I just want to know, I just, because I don't know.
2000.
2000.
I think 2000.
In 2000, how old were you?
I was not, I went to cooking school.
Yeah.
So you went to, why did you go to cooking school?
Because I didn't get accepted to any other colleges.
There we go.
I'm an idiot.
You're driven.
I'm a bare minimum student.
Yeah.
You know, just to get by.
Yeah, me too.
You know, punk on the fat chubby, you know, black haired nail polish.
Yeah.
Insighty.
Yeah.
Fuck cops, fuck jobs.
Yeah.
Fuck everybody.
Yeah.
You know, you and I are similar in that way.
Like I just, in high school, I was like, I remember waking up going, I have no future.
Yeah.
Zero.
There's no hope.
There's no hope.
No.
There's no hope whatsoever.
And so then you kind of go, you get kicked out of the house eventually.
Yeah.
And then you have to figure it out.
But I guess we're similar in that way.
We're outsiders.
You think so?
I think so.
I think we're just natural disruptors.
Disruptors.
Disruptors.
So you were rebellious as a young, you know, just punk straight.
All right.
Like what kind of punk did you listen to?
You know, bad brains and chrome eggs and mad ball hardcore.
Mostly hardcore.
Yeah.
To be honest, not too punk.
Because I got into music through metal.
Oh, you liked metal.
I was a metal.
I was a young metalhead.
I was a very young metalhead into like deicide and obituary and all that kind of stuff.
I just kind of liked, it's just older stuff, I guess.
Yeah.
Not really necessarily punk, but I was like kind of more into like.
The clash?
Even before that, like maybe like the fugs.
The fugs.
You remember the fugs?
No.
You are kind of like before there was like, you know, stuges, low five, very low five music.
That's nice.
Like the stuges a lot.
I liked the velvet underground.
Yeah.
Like that.
But heroin music.
I liked heroin music.
Yeah.
I really did heroin music.
Good.
Yeah.
And I also liked sad core before it was sad core.
You know what I mean?
I like listening to music and wanting to kill myself.
Yeah.
Did you really?
No, I've always, I don't have that.
Oh, I liked emo.
Did you never want to kill yourself?
Not intentionally.
Yeah.
I think I'm a happy spirit.
I don't have too many demons.
I was just like a joy boy who wanted to get fucked up and like smash everything.
Yeah.
Did you, did you, do you like women?
I mean, you're married, right?
Yeah.
You ever experiment?
Both sides.
I'm pansexual.
Are you really?
I don't know.
I think when I was high and drunk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For sure.
Yeah.
When I get drunk, I get a little wild.
I'll be honest.
Yeah.
That's why I don't drink.
Yeah.
But I've been with the same woman for 20 years.
Yeah.
We went to prom together.
She's cute.
She's got, she was got, she was like the one hot goth check.
Her whole family, she's like the youngest of like, what, four or four goths.
So we used to call them craft.
It was just like a small town shit.
Her whole family was like the gothic girls.
Yeah.
I think she was Canadian too.
Fieruza Bulk from the craft, right?
Really?
Maybe.
Wasn't she?
Gilbert.
Gilbert, get on it.
I'll be honest.
I'm looking at photos of your beautiful family.
I was like, look at your children.
Yeah.
Google image me.
There we go.
Endless amounts.
I've put my entire life on the internet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Squishy.
There she is.
Look at her.
So you started cooking at when you were 20-ish?
Yeah.
And then I dropped out of college and then, you know, and then I dropped out of college
and then, yeah, I like toured around with like some metal bands and punk bands and stuff
and have fun.
And then, you know, I come from a working class family, so I didn't have like money.
So then I had to get a job.
Then I got a job when I used to have to hand out resumes.
And then I used to hand out a lot of resumes and then the best, I got to drop it like the
best bistro in Toronto.
And then I was working there.
And that's how it happened.
And then, yeah, that was like, I went in there and I was like, oh, this is like a real thing.
This is like school.
Everyone's wearing chef whites and there's a chef and it's very intense.
Yeah.
And then I liked it and I was good at it.
And then I built up like self-esteem, I think.
A little bit of self-esteem because I was good at something.
But I bet your money, though, that you also loved it.
I loved it.
It was very similar to being like it with my friends' bands and being on the road and
being in a van.
It's tight net.
It's very intense.
It's long hours.
That's the thing.
I think that the thing that one needs to find is a thing that they love to do, right?
Because I was addicted to, even when I was a young guy, to just going up in random places
and doing stand-up and adrenaline of it.
And that was the first time where I felt kind of alive.
Not that you think that you're going to make it, really.
You're just like, I found a thing.
You finally found a place that you belonged.
Yeah.
And that you respected.
And you were like, if I give something, I get something back from it.
It was reciprocal.
Yeah.
There was this man by the name of Fred Burns, who was the general manager of the comedy
store in the 90s.
And he had spinal bifida, so you'd have to carry him around.
And he was a drunk as well.
And me and my friend Jonathan got sick.
He used to go, come over, because we used to make him omelettes.
I know not me, but Jonathan would.
And he would get drunk until two, three in the morning.
And in this small, little, tiny apartment, he lived with those two other comedians.
And he would tell these wild stand-up stories.
And I remember me and Jonathan, because we were in our 20s, and just sitting around,
like, not in a campfire, but it felt like that.
And just, you know, listening to, like, these wild stories with him and his interactions
with Roseanne Barr or whatever I might have been, right?
And going, I can't.
This is unbelievable.
And you just felt like you were a part of something magical, I guess.
Did you feel the same way?
Well, Bobby.
Uh-huh.
The, uh...
Hello.
Yeah.
Hi.
Yeah, I think so.
I think so.
Yeah.
I think it was the first time that I was, like, just a part of something.
And I can contribute.
Yeah.
Where, like, before, I was, like, in school, and I didn't, like, love it, but I did good
at it.
And then, like, punk, like, when I used to tour, I was never in the band.
I was always just, like, the homie that would go and, like, do merch or get drunk and wasn't
allowed to even touch the gear, so I couldn't even load gear.
Yeah.
I was, like, I was morale.
I was, like, a little morale puppy in the van.
Yeah.
And then, when I started working at Les Select, it was just, like, all of a sudden, it was
it clicked, instantly.
It really clicked, instantly, and I was just, like, a part of something, and it was, I never
worked that hard in my life, but it was, well, that's not a lie.
But I think it's, like, it was just, like, it was the best.
It was just, like, a bunch of psychopaths.
You know, it was extremely toxic, and it was exact, like, it was a bunch of psychopaths,
and it was, like, drug fuel.
It was, like, everything that, like, you know, Bourdain would write about, and it was before
social media.
It was before you had phones.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, like, I didn't have a phone.
Like, you would just, like, get high on cocaine all day, and then, like, fight and fuck and
stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
Wow.
Make a castle A.
It's so weird.
Something happened where chefs became punk, like, rock stars.
Rock stars.
We watched that documentary, the one about the men's.
What's it called?
What's that?
Oh, the guy who started, the manager?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love the guy who did emerald.
Right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He explained how, you know, celebrity chefs sort of came to be, right?
It's a wild thing, because it is, some people look for it, right?
Like, some people want to be that, whereas it's like, some people are just, like, real
deal dudes.
Like, there's probably a lot of comedians or people that, like, want to be this big thing,
but they haven't done the groundwork, and they're just not a real deal, or, like, you
know, the actor's actor, or the comedian's comedian.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's just, like, a thing where I think it was just, like, in the place we, I learned
how to cook French food from a Vietnamese guy who was a fucking refugee, psychopath.
What's his name?
Rang.
Rang's my mentor.
Yeah, Master Rang.
Master Rang.
He likes The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly.
The Good, The Bad, he loves that dude.
That's his Christmas movie.
He's the only guy, like, fucking, he's got, like, five things he says, but it's like,
it's just, like, I mean.
But have you seen that movie?
Never.
Oh my God.
What?
Which one?
I've seen The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly.
I've seen The Seven Samurai, but I haven't seen The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly.
Oh God, it's a, it's surgically only.
Yeah.
Let me look at my eyes, man.
A little bit.
Tell me.
It's surgically only, right?
It's surgically only.
Clint Eastwood's in it.
Right?
Yeah.
It's very.
The Mule.
It's very art.
The Mule.
The Mule.
I've never seen it with a Good.
Yeah.
Way better than The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly.
Or any, anything else.
That's his greatest movie.
You didn't see it.
The Mule.
Yeah.
Your story sucks.
I know.
I know.
I like it.
I like it.
The Mule.
The Mule.
In the movie, the Mule.
It's really hard to read.
The Mule.
The Mule.
Yeah.
The Mule.
That's a good one.
He had a big scar.
He gained his love and respect from his family.
That's a movie.
That's a movie where he was like racist,
Asian.
That was a good one.
That was when he called the lady.
That was a good one.
Yeah, Granterina.
As well, baby.
Girl.
Girls don't cry.
Yeah.
Granterina.
Boys don't cry.
Boys don't cry.
Boys don't cry.
But what if boys don't cry have anything to do with the same movie?
I didn't realize no far one part. Oh, I didn't I didn't know
prequel my bad, so um, you know what my my um we're talking about celebrity chefs in the 90s
My dad used to always have Jacques Pepin on shock. He's the king. Mm-hmm. He's a legend
I remember I was in Copenhagen and I watched that guy in front of like a thousand people just make like butter roses
and the whole crowd was just like
It's like say like Michael Jordan like shoot a three-throw or some shitter dunk
It was just like this, you know, he's old and he's like talking. He's like now you take the butter
You make a rose and you scrape it and you make a rose and then you put it in ice water and now you're butter rose
And we're watching a guy like it was just incredible. He's so old it but even his youtube his
His youtube is incredible. It's like him and his like homey actual kitchen. Yeah, and he's just making he's incredible
He's truly incredible. That was my entire childhood. Yeah, there was another one the guy with a walk. Is it yank and cook?
Uh yank and cook walk with yank. Walk with yank. Yeah, walk with yank if yank and cook
So can you is what that was? He always had different aprons. Yes. Yeah, canadian. Is he canadian? Yeah, isn't he?
Am I crazy? No, you're right. I am right. What what what makes master ring a master?
No, he's american. You lied man. Yeah. Yeah, you're a liar. He's can a anyone's like it's a self-assured slone
He's canadian. What does it what what what does why is he master ring?
I feel like saying master anything now is out, but I think the uh
He used to call himself because he was just like I'm not a chef. I'm the master of the kitchen and he was just
He claims to be the master
Yeah, he claimed it. He claimed he was yeah, he's like I'm the master. Oh, nobody else is called
I'm master. Can I be master either? You can be yeah. Can I be master lee? Yeah
If you purchase plane tickets in the philippines, um on the drop thing it says mr. Mrs. Master
Oh, so I always put master in my but when I purchased your master. Yes
I did for you too when we were going inter-island flights double master. I'll fucking you master
I it just was an option. So I chose it
But you're right. I'm not
No, I know I want you to be no
No, no, no. Hey, baby. He's a master man. You are master. He's a master. I think you read it wrong
I was just asking bobby. I made you a master too. I know but I don't know how you're one, but
That's all that's all I'm asking
I don't know if you're a master as well. Let it be that you know masters. Did you know, um
What's her a lisa lamb? Oh, that's right. Okay, so
I did
I went to college with her. No, are you no because she did go to
School and she's from vancouver. I don't don't don't lie. Don't lie. I'm about to tell you. Are you lying though?
I came on this podcast to tell you
I went to high school with her. No, college. I don't even know who you're talking about
Because you mentioned her before and you said she died in well, she's from vancouver. So I
Just a random person from manana. I know the one random person that died in 2013 from canada. That's your problem
americans
No, he's not a nobody. He just does a fucking netflix documentary about her. You fuck. It's trending number 10 or something
You have no idea what you're talking about. All right, so I'm gonna fill you in right now, dude
All right, just fucking hold your britches. Britches held
All right, so check it out. All right, bro. I didn't know much either
Oh, uh, so I didn't know much either. So the other night she goes. Let's do some family activity
What she does, right? Okay, so I go
You wouldn't watch something when she says that she wants the whole family
Which is we have this little little one living here too. She's in high school puppies. No, no human human being
Human human living here. Yeah, my niece. Oh, yeah, if you watch bad friends, it's jew it's jewels or rudy
I don't watch it. Okay. Well
That's rude. I I watch the clips on instagram. I don't watch pocket. I get this fine. Do you watch my pocket? Like, what do you mean? Yeah
Yeah, that's right. It's yours. Um, the Lincoln project and somebody else. All right, that's it
All right, so here we go. So she goes let's watch the thing about the hotel Cecil. Oh
What is it?
Okay, no, no, what is it? It's the check in the elevator tangy
And uh, the ghost
Yeah, but then she was in the water thing. Yeah, and then people drank the water. Yeah. Yeah, okay
That's the entire synopsis actually. Yeah, you just said the whole thing
So, okay, so yeah, I do have a story about that
If you don't though, you're I'm gonna kick you out of the house. Okay me my podcast co-partner or co-partner
To tone so he lives that's his name to tone. There's no way
He's black and white. Okay. He's a graffiti writer. All right, and uh
Uh, so he lives but have you guys ever listened to root of evil the podcast?
So it's about the black dahlia murder. Yeah, and it's about okay the house that she was supposedly murdered at
You know the black
In the fifties. Yeah
Oh, I went to college with her
Oh, if that cooper again, how does that feel? How does that make me feel small?
It makes me feel small go ahead. Tell me the black dahlia
You tell me a story. I'll tell you
That's a podcast isn't it
Like rock cocaine at five in the morning. You tell me you tell me about childhood. Tell me about the black dahlia. Okay, so
It leads into the Cecil thing. Yeah, so my home two tone lives down the street from where the black dahlia was supposedly murder
The house. Yeah, it was
When you said two tone, I thought you said tone lowke
No, and in my head, I know and I thought oh, he's doing a podcast with tone lowke. Yeah
No, no, no two tones a different guy different guy from venice. Okay, move on. Okay
So the house
Anyway, the fucking house this crazy creepy house root of evil is one of the craziest pot. I've talked about it multiple times
It's about the great great grandchildren of the person who maybe killed the black dahlia
And it's their family trauma
Fucking four generations and it's insane. It's but the house where it's he was fucking
The black dahlia was murdered at is like literally a block away from two tones house
And it's this big crazy Frank Lloyd Wright's son
It looks like this giant fucking alligator haunted mansion and it's right on uh, franklin
Right franklin and norman. Can I interrupt for a second? Yeah, Frank Lloyd Wright designed it. Frank Lloyd Wright's son
Designed it designed the house architecture. That's nothing then it's trash. Yeah. Loser loser
Like loser Frank Lloyd Wright's son loser Frank Lloyd Wright. Awesome. Yeah, it's like listen to the song and you listen to it. Yeah, that was uh
Bono's cousin wrote that. Yeah, you're like, oh, I don't give a fuck about that. Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah
and
All right, I know it's a long stupid. I like it. We're gonna edit something. No, no, we're not editing anything out
We love every single minute of it
Let me finish so let me finish we love every single minute of it. Go ahead. Thank you
So me and two toner like let's go on a murder mystery of la
And so we go down to Cecil
And we open the fucking doors and they can just open the door. We open the fucking doors
Of the hotel. Yeah, because it's closed now. It is closed. Yeah, and you we got into the lobby
And we literally just walked up to the thing. We're like, I bet we could just open these and they're like the electric slide doors
And we just were like
And they opened wow and then we walked into the thing because he was like dude check this out because I was like, yo
Let's go on some spooky shit. This house is really spooky. Let's go do another spooky thing
He's like, have you ever heard of the Cecil hotel fucking thing and he's like like somebody jumped off the fucking
Story or like inside into the thing and all this stuff and then he showed me the vancouver thing of the woman in the thing
Yeah, fortunately, whatever happened happened. Yeah, and but we went into the lobby and we got spooked and we ran out and we had
I don't know if I have photos. Oh, it was so crazy. We believe you
You don't have photos
We'll edit the min
We've got our friend Andrea take photos of us in the lobby
All right, sorry that poor girl died. Yeah, but it uh, yeah, it sounds cool the documentary. What are your beliefs on?
Ghosts yeah and go no no about to her first. What are your beliefs? What happened?
Obviously something happened she wasn't acting regular uh-huh and she ended up in water and people drank it
Yeah, yeah, so I don't it's like watching it is like it's real
I I I believe it happened. I know but then how did it happen spirits dude? We're staying in a fucking house right now
yeah
I'm fucking
my wife's lives in this really old house on the water and
Like her parents do it's this by the river by a river by Lake Erie right on Lake Erie buffalos across during the prohibition
There's like a tunnel
Under like I would cut out and they used to do like crazy prohibition parties like Bruce Wayne's mansion. It's like Bruce Wayne's mansion
Yeah, it follows the dentist. It's great
It's really nice being married to somebody with money. So they fucking
That house is 100 fucking haunted
I've heard me and Tricia walked in in high school and started having a conversation with like her mother
Mother was not in the fucking like on the floor and we walked in and she was this like
Like somebody asked us how the night was and we both were like engaging being like, oh, yeah
We were at this party and like we're kind of dusted and we're like, I don't know and we're both talking
To this person and we thought it was coming from her mom where she sits and knitted until like we would come home
And nobody was in the fucking room and then there's other times where Tricia called me
and
She was just like I'm up in the attic because her attic's like a kind of an apartment. That's where we used to stay
Yeah, and we were up and she's like I can't nobody's home
And there's just fucking so many people running around the house right now. She's like, can you come here? Oh my god, and then
literally
We're low-key. We're rent owing our house right now and we're renting another house on the lake and
She texted me two days ago being like, I swear
Listen, we believe you
I'll read the text because it's wild
Tricia that's more photos or something some naked. Do you want to just like take shots of my life?
For valentine's day
Tricia
Oh, can I oh just
Wait, what you said that it just sprung up a thing in my head
Go sir. I wanted to know I think spirit. So when I'm on it's a magnum. I'm on magnum pi sometimes
And there's an actor named Zach Knight on it
Zach he sounds does he have abs? Yeah, sounds like it's cute as fuck
He's cute as fuck and he goes because he bought a house in Hawaii and he goes um
Check out my house
I just bought it and he showed me a photo that I wasn't supposed to see
So in the background of this house, it's like the interior of this house
Is his wife completely naked. Yeah when I go this is nice, right?
And he got so embarrassed
He got so anyway, so go ahead. Okay. This is on friday
No word of a lie. I just heard a man's voice like on the television
I thought it was mac somehow got my phone while I was in the washroom
I asked back what he was watching and he said nothing and then I told him I thought I heard something and he said
I told you this place is haunted
My son's four. Oh, wow, and it's just like how long have you guys been there to get out of there a week
You got to get out of there. What about the previous house where you were engaging with?
Tricia's family still lives there we go there like
That's her parents house. Is that what the attic is
Tricia's house is the house of the attic where we I truly I'm like, I don't know what the fuck it was
I definitely was answering something that asked me a question. We don't have attics
We're not we're not from the 1800s. We don't have attics in LA. We also do. What do addicts look like? Okay addicts
So they're like, uh, there's a roof and the roof goes like this. Yes. Tell me and then most ceilings go here
Right and then above the ceiling maybe where there's things called rafters
I know what they are but what I'm saying rafters are wood and they're coming from trees
And there's men with long saws under these stands
I know and you go like this
I know if you hold the saw you hold the saw and we could cut down a tree together
Yeah, I know I would that's never gonna happen by the way and you know you take the wood and you mill it into planks
I get it. I know how fucking wood is made so and then above the drywall so drywall
I know I know but let me be made out of asbestos
Popcorn ceilings
May I ask a question though? Yeah, okay
Because I've seen horror movies where they hear a noise, right? Yeah, and then they open up the mr.
Bogey, right? And there's always some white person. It's always white. Yeah, and the flat and the flat slide and they look around
It's just like if I had an attic, I wouldn't even know how to get up there. No in in this house
Yeah, there's a joint one of those things that you pulled down from the attic. Yeah, it's like like Clark Griswold
Dude, exactly. Yeah
Dr. Breathe
Great film great film great film favorite great film. Which one though Christmas vacation
No, but there's european look european was funny more tits. I loved european. It was when he goes up
He's in germany. Does that dance up there with everybody? Yeah, that's incredible incredible if if
You did see boobs. Did you see boobs? Yes, I loved him. Yeah in christmas. No, no, not in christmas european european european
i love boobs
30s
But I don't know I think I
Ha ha ha ha ha
She said, um sorry my voice is correct. I've done three podcasts today
well
stop
Which one I did david chang's and then
No, no being honest
Turns out he lives in l.A. He just doesn't want to see you three today. He does. He lives in handcraft. Did you do three?
No
none
I did one who mine
I can do mine on your on your trip here to LA. Are you good? Are you have other podcasts planned? Yeah, which ones?
Tomorrow I'm doing
whiskey ginger and
Then I'm doing your mom's house. Are you being really and then I'm doing
blood bath. Yeah
I'll wear my dress and then or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, I'll wear whatever okay that one sat
She's just the blonde woman Annie Letterman. Whoa. What do you mean? She's like the thing she says
She's the East Coast Chupacabra. Yeah. Yeah, okay. She's a sniper. Yeah. She like watching her rip the
The other one
Esther yeah, I started watching I just watched the thing today. Yeah, I followed followed
Yeah, it was good the hemorrhoid
I'm really talk was good. Yeah, wait, so back anyway back to ghost you guys are just okay with their presence then
If a man's talking to my son, what's gonna do tell him to jump off the stairs and crack a skull
We're gonna find out though. No, I've already paid I paid cash rent for like months
I don't know I kind of fucked up
But can I ask you that if you're out like cuz you're in the boonies, right? We're yeah, we're isolated, right?
So my point though is because I've never lived in an isolated house
Well, you know where there's no neighbor where there's no neighbor. What not a bunch of haunted and so maybe you know
Your mind plays tricks on you
There's like I think there's a lot of sounds. Yeah, and I think that I hear things all the time
I don't know if it's all the LSD's or whatever, but I think it's just like you hear what you're you're you're in
Thought, right? Yeah, like you're in thought constantly and I think that I
Need
You're doing great. I'm fine. This is so great
This is so great everybody in Tiger belly land fucking
Yeah, I don't know I
Really try not to make a decision on how I feel about it cuz it's just like what are you gonna do?
I'm like I go to Trisha's parents. We heard that voice and I never heard anything ever again
Trisha's heard multiple voices not in like fucking 15 years and it's just like I'm not being I'm not living my life to that drum
You know, I live lucky. I think I think it's like even treasure text me. She's like I'm actually not even scared or like stressed about it
She's just like it's kind of like huh, whatever and I'm like, I think if you have that not even like I think if you hear it and
Understand it. But if you get into like it's this like it's what I think it's your mentality
Maybe I feel like if you let it scare you then you're cooked because it's your own head
That's your oh, you're your own master to your own head. I've been cooked. Yeah. Yeah, like I've been cooked to death
I am so afraid of all of that
I don't talk to my neighbors I cross the street when I see one of them sweeping just the road. What's up with that?
Yeah, who's just outside sweeping so see see Maddie this box right here. Oh, this is my dad's ashes
What's so funny?
Fucking funny man, I think that's incredible. Yeah. Yeah, so I love you. So I use
Yeah, so I use you fucking animal. I love that. So I have an A meeting. I go to an A meeting Wednesday night
Yeah, let's go. And are you a sober? Yeah, Serenity. Let's go
Dude, I got almost nine years do be real bro. Oh good November 12
Congratulations. Oh, so anyway, I'm on a zoom meeting and I put my iPad on this, right?
And I was just I was and I was putting glue on my thumb. I
Put glues on my thumb. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm a meeting and all of a sudden this thing started trembling
Yeah, so it started going like this
Like like that, right? And there was like no earthquake, right? So what he's over sharing?
Maybe they're cross talking. No, I was sharing my mind. My mind. My mind. My dad was going shut the fuck up
Yeah, it's enough. It's enough about him. No, I wasn't but then I shared it at the thing. I go
This my iPad's on top of this thing and it trembled. Oh, yeah, it was pretty fucking scary. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, but anyway, here's dad right here. You know, I like that beautiful. Yeah. Yeah, I like that
Look at those arms. He used to beat me with these arms typical
Typical angry every look at him. Yeah, good shoulders. Yeah. Do you have like good for you have nice forearms?
You have the how you have like nice for his nice farm. Yeah, he has nice sturdy. He's sturdy
Mm-hmm. Nice trunk. You couldn't push him over. You can't it's impossible. Yeah. What low bearing low bearing
He's like a low bearing wall center of gravity is just nice a good ankles. Mm-hmm. What he's got good ankles
Thank you. Can't be tipped over babe. No, nice. No, although, um, I have to be honest with you
I think I'm on the verge of getting diabetes. Yes. What do you mean? Well, why not?
because
Are you a king if you don't have gout?
So maybe I have a king Robert Baratheon, babe, oh, that's right
That's right. Am I gonna get killed by a bore? Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Was he killed by a bore?
What did somebody kill? I think somebody poured gold over his body. No, that's
Yeah, somebody on some other guy wait that wasn't Jeffery that way dragon drag the there's a dragon
My favorite show. Are you being facetious?
I'm being I think you ever see the show the all of it. I only watched for the incest
I was like, I wish I could fuck my brother the way I just wish my brother was a hot babe
Yeah, we that killed everybody. I think incest is okay. Not. Oh, it's never okay. No, it's never okay, but be clear
Okay, don't fuck your brother's or sister. I know but if you have like I have one brother
Hmm. So incest is not okay. 69 it was that's not okay. All right, but I could see a world where just hear me out
Right, we have to cut this out. Mm-hmm. We'll have to
If I like lived with if I was in a Mormon family. Yeah, I'm Mormon
Really? Really? Mm-hmm. So I know you Mormon. I was more than two. Yeah
Latter-day Saints you and I have the same very similar many ways. We're broken. We're broken and I can I can imagine having like 30
brothers and sisters
Living on a compound, right? Yeah, so 30 brothers and sister. I live on a compound way out in like Nevada
I could see maybe like sneak, you know, maybe sneaky the light is undress a little bit. Yeah
Yeah, yeah doing your father's laundry also like I can also imagine, you know
My father or my parents not letting us to have TV. Yeah, or like in the internet or anything, right?
So it's like you're the first time I see a naked woman's body is my sister's body
I want to eat that out. What? What? No
I don't know. Is that where you're going? It's too far. That's too far. It's way too far. Yeah
Yeah, yeah, like suck on a nipple suck on a nipple. Yeah. Yeah on the neck
I mean a kiss on the neck that picture you painted is exactly why I got molested. Oh
Wow, sorry my bad
Yeah, I thought it up my bad. It was like a multiple family compound
My son hit my son dress
You know when I got fisted by my cousin
That was was he a pig? That's too far. Yeah, it's way too far too far. She's making fun
He took it too far. Yeah, I'm gonna have that discussion with them next time in the Philippines. Oh, I got don't fist
He's a fuck you the finger first. He's a pastor now you guys. We gotta go to church. Let's kill her. Let me come follow
I wouldn't mind that. Let's go. Let's go. No time. So um, that's the only reason why I think incest would be not even okay
But you know, I could see it happening. Yeah, I mean in that scenario, but in any other scenario
It's absolutely wrong
It's wrong all the way. Why are you leaving a room? Yeah, you're right. You're right. It's a wrong everywhere
It's all wrong everywhere on the world around the world. That was the message. That's the message I wanted. It's all wrong
It's all wrong. Let's start shaking the box
They're shaking now. Did you have a traumatic childhood? Your parents were cool. Of course
How did you become such a joy boy then? Yeah, cuz at an early age, I realized it wasn't my fault
How do you realize that's so young? It was around 10 years old. I just realized it was uh, I don't know
It was a hard. It was a hard realization
But it was one
Cuz well, yeah, yeah, so you're so what happened to ten that you realize. Okay, this is nothing to do with me
He's lying babe. No, I don't think no I had I had a very
I had a very I believe this childhood
and I
Don't know I just I don't know I I maybe not at ten. Let's say like
19 no, no, no, no
I was I was like a demonic like I would do everything and me to forget about everything
Do all the stuff. Yeah, but I still knew that it wasn't like like you go through all those things like who am I?
My gay am I this am I that am I this yeah?
I love that this is what we're talking about a tiger bell the fucking but the the the
Yeah, I think it was just like it. I don't know. I didn't feel sorry for myself
I didn't feel I didn't feel like it was I didn't provoke it. I didn't do anything
It was that person taking the the purity, you know, and I was just like
Okay, and I just was just kind of like had that mentality of like I
If I feel bad and if every time that I do something that hurts me or do something like that they win again
And I just think that that I had that weird mentality or I just I don't know it clicked
It just really it was like one of those things. I was like, yeah, that person like is dust
So it's like whatever
So when you got you did to get sober nine years ago. Yeah, did you go to a rehab or you just no?
Okay, I had an intervention. Oh, there was an intervention. I had a heart attack two years prior
And then I had Superman little Superman ego because I didn't die
Ah, and then at the moment of
Yeah, I think I think it was like one of those things where at that moment when I chose to say fuck it
Every single time that's when I knew that it changed where I went from joy boy to like
addict and I went to
a
Greedy selfish harming stealing lying all that kind of stuff
Yeah, and then I just kept on going darker and deeper and then about two years down the road
I had some good friends
And so did you so what because for me every time I got sober I got sober three times
Yeah, I had I went away somewhere, right? So you didn't have to go away anywhere. No
It was like one of those things where I had
And I said this before
I've talked about this a little bit. It was it was for my best friends and
And I asked and this is I asked why Trish wasn't there and they were just like
It's up to you now like she has nothing more to say you've been with I've been with I was with her for everything, right?
Right, so it was just like there was no more secrets. There's no more anything
She was just like it's up to you and that really kind of clicked
Yeah, and then we talked for like four hours and it was all my homies and it was just like you couldn't you can't there's no
Where to lie. There was nowhere to lie anymore. There's no nothing and
And then the next day I went to a meeting and it's a miracle. It was like it was crazy
It was like the miracle happened. I was just like I was there. I identified
I was like this is a crazy thing a giant man gave me my first key tag and I was just like I just hugged a dude
I didn't know yeah, like the scariest it was like those it was like all the cliches
It was like the scariest moment of my life scarier than anything because I was just like in a group of a bunch of you know
My ego like it was just like everything. It was like all at once this like rainbow of fear and love and fucking anxieties and
Letting go and understanding that I didn't have to lie anymore. It was the lying
You know it was the lying that I was so
Because I am such a genuine nice person. The lying is what kind of hurt me the most. I think do you still go to meetings now or?
Periodically, yeah, yeah, be honest me too. Yeah, I should go to more. I go to I started
I never did therapy. Yeah, and during the pandemic. I started going to therapy
We did I did I don't think one for the other
I don't believe in that kind of shit
Yeah, but I think because I think the program gave me everything it gave me my entire life back, but I think
Doing therapy is a very different kind of process that I've never done before
And it's working on like a lot of different things that I never worked on doing the steps
And I never worked on doing other things that opened up different doors and and I really kind of enjoy that
Yeah, they don't talk about in 12-step groups trauma, right?
And you know, they don't have there's just certain things that they don't address
You know, I mean in in those rooms that I found that therapy was necessary, you know
There's certain issues that you can deal with, you know in therapy that you don't necessarily address in in 12-step
I think it's it's a different thing where I think
And I'm very new to therapy and I don't know like for me
It was just it was such a it like I it's like in the first hour
I was just like here's this real quick cliff notes. I don't I don't want to waste time
You know, I was there's like love listening mad trauma like very
Like no, it's just like one of those things where you're just like this is fucked up. I want to get rid of this
I've been with the same woman for 20 years a lot of resentments a lot of you know
Just like life like no matter a lot of love more good than bad just a long history
And and there's a lot of like, you know drug use and alcohol use everything use
So it was just like going into therapy was just like an interesting. I don't know
It's just like an interest. I it's just something new too
So I like it and as no matter of what you say your ego likes telling your own story again and again
You know, so it was just nice to have this new refreshing kind of virtual face
So it was like it was just an interesting thing and I like doing it and I see results
It's like it's nice that there isn't like language around it and because we're going to the rooms all of a sudden
I'm like I'm learning this whole new language and how to speak and I was just like watching these old-timer
I'm like what is going on here? Yeah
Everyone's got sayings. Everyone's like fucking just chirp in each other and what is all that like everyone's just like well
Who's those old dogs over there? Oh, they got 45 years clean. They don't do shit. It's just like, okay
And it's just like I think it's just I think it's nice. I love the fellowship. I love everything about it
And and and at the same time, I'm like really enjoying therapy
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what I'm yeah, there's this thing about when I was 17
I used to skateboard past the Alano Club because I was sober when I was 17 and I used to see like
Old-timers, you know guys with 40 years of sobriety just play poker and chess
All day long at the along and smoke cigarettes and drink and drink coffee, right?
And that's all they did, you know, I mean for their sobriety, you know
And I remember like walking by there one time I was gonna go to a meeting and I thought to myself I
That can't be you know, I mean, that's not the end game for you. Yeah, there's gotta be way more for me
Yeah, but that's also that's just you picking a thing to become indifferent with the program
Yeah, but I know I know but I believe that the program, you know, I mean is the foundation of how I live my life
Kind of you know, I mean, but it's like I just you know
I think that when you choose to be sober, right?
You're choosing to live the biggest life that you could possibly live, you know
I I dream big, you know, and I try to live big, you know, and um
You know, I'm glad you came on the show because I feel like you and I have a lot of similarities. Do you think?
Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of similarities
I'm like, but I really like you a lot. I didn't know anything about you
Well, I've divulged more on this than my own podcast, so it's good
I feel I feel I feel it's a warm face and a nice person and
Hear that warm face nice person nice person. Wait, wait, it's nice person warm face on your tombstones
That's what I'll say
Do I have a warm one of your adopted dogs will have a couple boxes
You know, so you before you came over when we talked a little bit before because I want to just address this
Um, so you went to Vietnam
Yeah, you tried to eat dog. I didn't try to eat dog. So we were there. Yeah. Yeah, and we were with
This kind of at we had this French
What are you called people expat? We have this like kind of asshole French expat that was taking us around
Yeah, and and he kind of asked he was like, hey
Do you want to see like the the dog market? Yeah, and we were just like
No, no, okay
Did I annoy you? No, I liked it
It's so weird that you it's so because I know because I did it so quickly but I saw you were indifferent with my conversation
Excuse me
Maddie Maddie Maddie
Maddie that's not what I was doing Maddie
What I saw I am so glad you called him out on that when I saw hey, let me just say it's not just what you saw
It's what happened. It is what happened. It's him
What's the part in that fuck you guys are part in that I'll tell you my part of it
All right, I'm gonna finish my story. That's like a fighter checking the time. No. Yeah
Oh
Now since you brought it up since you brought it up, let me be real
I'm a hard out. No
Since you brought it up. Let me be real with you in texts. No Maddie. Let me be real with you for a second
Okay, Bobby since you fucking brought it up. All right, so when I thought to myself, right?
Yeah, I love this guest, right? Let's just go I could do this forever forever, right?
So what when for and then once I thought that I'm like, what time is it? He's an ADD kid
Yeah, in my head. I'm like what to yeah in my head is like what time is it?
Right, so I had a positive thought. I like this guy a lot, right?
I don't want to talk forever, right? And then the next thought what time is it?
So once I thought that I just touched the phone
And I was gonna through with my what periphery peripheral vision. Yeah, right look at the time
Mm-hmm, what right? So that's what happened, right? Yeah, so let me let me say something to you
Let me do a formal apology
What you just did there doesn't matter men what you just did right there doesn't bother me
I know what you just did
So here here. Oh on his knees put the glue on your thumb
Gonna do what you tell me to do your thumb. I'm gonna do what you tell me to do, right? Okay
What I did there right was nothing
It was but you're on your I'm so sorry. I'm sorry Maddie that you perceive that to be me being indifferent
See that's not lighting. It wasn't a perception. It wasn't a perception. It was reality was a reality
You asked me a question about going to Vietnam and going to a dog market. That's a pretty intense subject
Uh-huh then at that moment you're like
Okay, you're right you're right Maddie Maddie look at Maddie Maddie Maddie
Maddie so I went to Vietnam go to Vietnam French expat French expat
We go to this you know, we're like the vice crew, you know, we're in Vietnam
Yeah, real cool. We're vice. We're so cool and then and this guy just is just like yo
Do you want to see like the dog market and we're just like
He's like it's like two blocks away and we're kind of like okay, and I'm like rang is this like what the fuck's like
What is all this? He's like, I don't like he'd laughed. He was a refugee. So he left when he was like a kid mm-hmm, and
And we walk around this corner and all of a sudden it's like a half a block and it's all dog stalls and
and
It was the first time ever I was in a situation where I was just like I got like the jippy tummy
I was just like I was just like this is wild and I felt very and then at the same time
I'm just being like well, you know, is this just like my Western brain and this is like I was just like this is
You know, I'm not trying to dismiss anything and I was just kind of being like it just genuinely me
I was just like I'm not a fucking dog person. Yeah, I mean, I'm completely indifferent to animals. I have no feelings
I'm like that part of me for some reason is just I wasn't brought up
I was brought out of one kitty cat Bagheera, but you know blue tips I me's beautiful cat
First time I saw my dad cry when we put down Bagheera Baghe, but the the I love Baghe
Then we had a bunny to Conan, but okay enough with the animals. Yeah, yeah
Literally an animal person. I'm not an animal person, but I had to that. I remember yeah
Yeah, so we had a cat. It was it barfed a lot. So we killed it
That's are just indispensable I feel
We have three yeah, we have three kitty cats for your names. We have Ming, Gunnar and Bojo. Oh
Don't do that. Okay, so tell tell me about the dog thing and so
The thing that I was really kind of do when you're saying the realest thing
They were all the same
It was like it was like bread which kind of made me feel like I was just like in my mind
It was just like dogs, but I think alive or dead already. They're all dead and they look like like hanging like peaking
Like
Or like something like that. Yeah, it was just it was that and you could go up and you can get pieces and
They were
The guy that we were with he bought some blood sausage and he was just like here
I want to try some and I was just like nah, it's the first time ever
I've politely declined anything and I've eaten I've eaten everything like I did the bullet and I did like do you like ballot
The I've only had it once and I did at a bootle battle. Mm-hmm. I love bootles. Yeah, it's amazing
Yeah, and it was it was like mine was hard boy. It was like overcooked. So I ate it and I was just like
I was just like I don't
Looking and I was just like I'm so sorry and I like spit it out
Yeah, and I was just like that just tastes like a fucking farm like shit in my mouth
And I was just like I don't know is that the way and there I was like what happened to the sucking
They did not show you how to eat a ballot. It was it was just it was it was a hard bullet though. Oh, we can see that
That I wanted a juicy to suck it
I wanted I wanted to suck it be an anxious
You're supposed to tap the top right and then so it's just enough leave an opening and then drink the juice
No juice my mind was just a hard-boiled egg with chicken. That's just ballot pinoy then that's just a that's yeah
That's an that wasn't nice for me
I
Just like I was just like I'm down with it all you got everyone just put in sprite and everything
Like I love this. I was just like everyone's just cooking like frozen muscles and shells
This is sick, but but it's
No, Boodle is the first night that we were in the Philippines remember
It's it's also a called a kamayan where it was just a giant table banana leaves and just rice and all the foods everywhere
And they they stick their filthy fingers in there and everyone eats at the same time. Yeah, yeah
Do you know why?
Yeah, it's a standing. Oh, no
Well, so in the history of the Boodle fight is actually from the military
So then they would always be ready to go. Yeah wouldn't sit you only had like five minutes to eat
They would just throw the rice in the middle and the protein and then you would just stand and eat and then dip out
And then the next people come in. Yeah, I should have said filthy. Yeah, it's my people man
Oh shit on my you know what? I just caught myself my team is is
To two Filipinos
Japanese love the Japanese. Okay. Say you love the Filipino
Let me ask you something so
So these dogs were hanging at the let's go back to the market. They're hanging
So where do they follow the boat? Where do they kill the dogs anywhere? It's the same as any animal
That's the thing is like we're caught up and we try to make it this thing
Yeah, even in your head and talking about this on a public fucking form. Yeah, whatever the fuck it is
It's just adding more bullshit to it. You know, it's just like right
There the chicken the same as the chicken. It's the same as anything. They're raised to be slaughtered and eaten
Yeah, it's only a certain type of person that eats it or like because it's a small little market
That's very specific in this part of town. You have to go there
So it's like it's not for the mad like it's not like everybody in Vietnam's eating dog
And it's yeah, yeah, I'm having this Western thinking
Because I think I eat horse and it's just like I I worked in French bistros where we served horse all the time
Yeah, we loved it and it's just like it's beautiful. Yeah
No, I I eat ass. So I have no
Hello
Hello get to live in this nice house eat a little bit of ass
Bobby's ass
Bob
We do a thing at the end called unhelpful advice unhelpful advice that's good advice and people
People email us. Yes problem out problem. Oh, and we try to answer that. Oh, that's nice. Okay, so go ahead
Unhelpful advice with Bay Betheson. Hey tiger belly. I'm having a little papaya in six weeks
Well, what a baby baby. I'm 23 and my baby's mother is 32. Oh when I found out we were having the kid
I broke it off because I was scared
I didn't know what my future would hold now
I'm in a situation where I don't know if I should continue pursuing a relationship with her or move on my own and co-parent
I thought the age was a factor, but I don't know anymore the socials papaya. I need your help Nate
I mean, what's the question? The age should not be an issue ageism. It's called ageism, correct?
Trash it's trash. Trashism. It's a trash. It should not be an issue. It should not be an issue
But um, but does he have well, how does he feel toward this woman? Well?
He said when he found out about the kid, I think I broke it off because I was scared anyway
That calls her kid a papaya is an idiot
We love papayas here my friend
But it's just like to reference a tribe. This is like that's because we I know because we we call our fans on the show
little papayas
Stupid
Like hey, you little fucking pump quats
Maddie Maddie, look what's out there. Look at me right now. Look at me right now. Oh, what's up? What's up?
What you gonna do dog?
Monkey on a pen so um, do you have another one because that's a well well really quick for it for Nate Nate
Do you pursue her or she just cut it off her sewer because age has nothing to do with it
I feel like age is the issue for him, right or the kid it seems like the kid
It seems like having a baby is he's like I'm out. So it seems like he doesn't really like having a baby doesn't solve anything
That much so he doesn't it doesn't seem like you're really into her
Don't force yourself into a situation where it's gonna be an unhappy household
But definitely pay your child support and be a good dad. That's all you can do
I had it Maddie when you had your first born. Yeah when it came out. Oh, what was that like? It was beautiful
So there you go. I've done you know, Trisha has done
Three homebursts Wow natural hundred percent natural beautiful
powerful moments see very like I've birthed all of them
It was just me and the midwife. So it was just like we're just I'm a birther
Anyone wants to have a baby? I swear to God if there was a like we're on the bus, you know, we're on the bus
And so I was like, I'm gonna lay I'd be like
Really like here's I'd have just a frozen will you be Bobby stand and then whatever you need
I feel like he would stress me out during labor. Yeah, he would vape you'd vapor. He would vape and he'd check his phone
You check his phone
There was like it's coming right now and you'd be like
You make one mistake. No, it's good. No, you make one. It's like, you know, it's so I already apologized
For the one mistake and I'm getting
Abuse offer one mistake. It's ridiculous and it's not
Is there is that it? Well, I'd love for you to be my doula if you are you will do we we had our
friend Jennifer
She was our doula for the first one and then we didn't have a doula for the two other ones because we were just a kind of like
Oh, we got it
But it's like a beautiful thing Neil Young playing ceiling fan on windows are open
Is that a push song because I always thought I wanted my push song to be their harvest moon
Hmm or something to that effect like maybe razor love
Okay, okay, what do you mean? Yeah, when you push the baby, there's a song that plays you have a choice to play a song
but I think it's like also it's like when
You're definitely not thinking Trisha goes like problem
So she'll stop talking and just breathes right and we did like she'll like when we know it's go time
It's like because she had quick pushes. So it was just like she for Mac her water broke at like 11 in the morning
She wouldn't she was like full contractions by like midnight 3 30 that Mac was born. Oh, well, that's fast
Yeah, and then and then Rizzo
Was same kind of thing like kind of like noon water broke and then she was born at like on Halloween
I was called her Glendanzig. I was just like
We're gonna name I was like Rizzo fine. I was like let's name her Rizzo. Yeah, but I was like I was like she was born on Halloween
Let's name her Danzig but and then on the third one. It was it was it was it was the
But Ozzie she was born on October 1st on a blue moon
You have a kid named Ozzie. Yeah, that's so dope. Yeah, Ozzie Ozzie Dorothea. Oh, that is so
That was my my grand so all the kids are Rizzo Louise was Trisha's grandmother's middle or first name
And then Ozzie Dorothea was my grandmother and then MacArthur Meyer Meyer was Trisha's grandfather. Wow
Wow, big Mac. Do you have another one? Yep, I didn't answer any question
I've been with my partner for seven years and he was charged with the crime
Somewhere being at the wrong time wrong place wrong friends. We'll just say he was murdered. Let's see what happens
He's been inside for two years. He has two more to go. He's my first for everything
I love him so much, but don't know how he'll be when he's out
Yeah, would you wait to see how he is or and take the gamble or just move on? What's the crime?
It makes a difference. Yeah, that's a big difference or years, but in America you can go jail for having like a grandma weed for four years
It really depends on the crime
Pedophilia then no, but isn't she not like is she not in contact with this point seeing different like go
Well, just seeing if he's okay. If he yeah, if he starts tweaking
Also, like can't you do conjugal visits because I had a homegirl who would go fuck her dude all the time
Yeah, okay, baby. What kind of crime would I have to do for you to stay with me? What do you mean?
Like for instance, I'm going to prison. Yeah, so blue collar is
So let's let me give you what if I accidentally ran over
Um, Maddie somebody don't write. Yeah, no, you know, if you had
You kill you kill me
Here's why I actually kill Maddie like okay if you actually this is why drowns me in piss
I I couldn't I couldn't get back with you. Why?
Mm-hmm, accidentally. I know it's not accidentally anymore with him because I know
How you drive you don't wear a seatbelt your it's still an accident
No matter what my style of driving we fight all the time about how unsafe I feel like you are on the road
You on your phone a lot when you drive
I just play candy crushing stuff
But um and so I would
This is this would that would be the peak of all of my grievances with you
I'd be like you cannot drive like this. You're gonna hurt somebody. What if I did what if I was accused of it
But I'm telling you I didn't do it
Like yes, Maddie's underneath my proteas
Right. He's stuck. He's stuck, but I wasn't driving
I couldn't do it. I don't think because I didn't do it. I know but you're reckless in general
Oh my god. Okay. What what else what other crime name them that this shit's boring. Okay. Yeah, I um
I accidentally mailed somebody
an explosive no, uh
Wait, tell us how that accidentally happened. Yeah, I don't know that's right. There's no way
I accidentally ailed a nail bomb
A federal offense
What'd you both say with me? Yeah, let me ask you to see a crime. Um
Oh, yeah, so I was at the airport. All right, and somebody put um
heroin
In my backpack. Uh-huh. You know that I'm sober. So why would I have heroin?
Yeah, I'd have your back a thousand percent and I went to prison
Yeah, and I'm saying I didn't see you would stay with me
Of course, baby on top of that
I'd let you have a side piece in jail and be okay with it in my heart
Like you want to fuck some boys, baby? You go ahead, but you come back to mom and oh wow
So you stay with
You want to fuck some boys? Yeah
Then you ask me now what crime that you would have. Okay. What crime? I don't know. You make it up. Okay. Let's suppose I um
um
So upset by this
Honestly, like there is no criminal bone in my body. Okay. Let's go here. Let's suppose
You all of a sudden it's in the news. This is the first time you're hearing of it. Uh-huh. He's accountable
But yes, so army hammer. I'm army hammers accomplice. Yes. Yes, and I helped him. I didn't army hammer
Uh, he's he eats the babies. He snaps her spine. He was in the social network. Winklevall. He's an actor who's been a cute
That's the reference. He had some like some questionable
Um sexting exchange that involved cannibalism and stuff like that
It's me a vile. Some me a vile. Yeah, some girls outed him for saying like he was uh, he had cannibal kink
But what if you hear that I am not I not I am army hammers accomplice and that I helped him cut up some ribs
human ribs
Human ribs, but then they were not people he killed. They were bodies that we stole from a mortuary
I just I would be weirded out by it. I'd be like there's no because I know you're a bright girl
You would ask questions, but I'm like, baby. He wasn't call me by your name. He's an oscar
I know but it's just like you're not going to ask what kind of you know what human ribs look like. No
But that's army hammer. He's a hottie. He's a hottie. I saw him once at a coffee shop in LA
Oh, then yes, I'm fine. He's hot in the real life. He's really he's really that hot. He's got a big
He's big. He's big. He's like a younger john ham kind of yeah
He's got really like those like strong like kind of like dutch calves with like
Like light blonde hairs, but they're thick. So if you had a relapse, would you hook up with him?
I'd let him. Yeah, just eat me out. Yeah
All right, sure. I would let you do it. Yeah, I would stay with you. Okay. Thank you. Okay. Mm-hmm. Anyway, um
What's next? No, that's it. That's it. That's it. You fuck. There's army hammer. Look at him
Um, he's oil money too. He's like a rock. Is he really he's a Rockefeller. He's like old american oil money less than
No, he's like he's like wealthy. He's like billionaire guy
He just um, there were just some questionable text exchanges between women and some vials of blood
Just a couple my mom texted me. What did she say?
Uh, I'll read it. Did she have a podcast? I love you so much. Good night and sleep tight
But then she sends me I don't know what to do. She sends me these things. Oh, there's just imagery
That they get little means and this I'm going to read this one. Mm-hmm every day
It's something new so someday we will look back on this moment and it will forever remind us
To never take the little things for granted
It will remind us to hug with all our hearts
To pause to appreciate
Holding someone's hand and to live in the moments that we are surrounded by others
Fuck you mom. That's all my text. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah for sure. No good night. I love you genie's my girl
Don't talk to her like that. I'll be being the moms
You know, um, would you do our podcast again? Yeah
I'm being honest
No, this was trash
That's what I want you guys are brutal. No talking about getting fisted. You guys are disgusting
No, honestly, uh, I know your dad's ashes shake it. No, honestly, it's a horrible place for people. The pleasure was all mine
No, thank you so much. I've dreamt of it. The pleasure was all mine. You know what?
I really want to say I remember watching clips or something
And I remember watching something and you you guys were talking about trying to buy a home
And I remember that and I and I was like that's so cool
This guy can be so famous and still not be able to afford anything
Nice to see I guarantee you own these the cameras and Gilbert
And I think that it's so nice to see that within like the top. That's a couple years and look at what you've done
It's really great
Take it in
I think it's really nice that you've come so far since the last time that I
Listen the condo that I lived in just let me just defend myself. Okay
Even before before I met this one, right? You know, I bought my condo. Okay a condo
Yeah, so I had some money. Hmm. Okay. It's just so 10 percent down or like five
I don't know
It just happens that you know Chinese cash
It just so happens that the podcast millions has been very kind to us
Right in this lifestyle. So we got to you know, splurge a little. Okay, but I really um, I feel the same
Okay, and I want to say something to you
Hmm. Maddie
Okay
You seem like somebody that I um
I have known all my life
Now I'm being real. Hmm. There's just something about him that like, oh, I've known this guy all even when you came in
I'm like, you know, I'd never seen him before in flesh
But I'm like this guy, you know, I mean is someone I feel like I know already, you know
So the pleasure was all mine. Like I said, thank you. Um, please come back again. Thank you. Okay
You got all my problems. I'm gonna
I'm gonna you too. Um, both of you
I there are a couple some resentments about the phone thing and all that other stuff. I'm gonna let it go
How did your you ever?
How do you ever is that?
I'd like to apologize for maybe making fun of your father's ashes box. I kind of laughed too much
Maybe I laughed too much at the box. It's a good amount. Well, first of all, you know, it's only the bottom half of my dad
So it's one half of him
That's too much. That's too much laughter and my brother
So Omar talking about dead stuff. Yeah, um stuff on on uh
On our podcast the Omar our dog. Well two tones dog is a probably 35 capacity right now
It's just pretty much like breathing. That's all it can do and it has cysts
So we're thinking about either we want to like have it forever because it's part of the set. Yeah, he always lays on our table
She always lays on our table. So we're like, I'm trying to convince him to either
Uh, what's it called taxidermy taxidermy Omar or or ashes?
And then we'll just have ashes and we'll make a ceramic
Uh, Omar beautiful shih tzu and Omar ceramic and put the ashes in there. I think taxidermy is creepy
That's what I've always wanted. I told him that I want to be forever tribute. Yes
I want to be mounted on a wall like in my wrestling stand
And when you're tired of looking at me just stick a bunch of dynamite inside me
Yeah, and then have a ceremony play tnt the song. Yeah, akadaka. Yeah, uh-huh
And then just blow me up and have my bits and pieces like fireworks. Yes
Or or there was this doc. There was this documentary series called autopsy. He used to be on hbl
Dr. Bodden
With dr. Bodden and there was a doctor in the early 1900s, I guess and he had um
A patient who was like 19 or 20 years old should a woman
Um, and he fell in love with her. I know this one and she died from typhoid typhoid or something
And so he stole the body
He quit being a doctor and then he just mummified her
Right and it would have sex with her for years. Maybe I'll do that
But you know the problem with that is that he his mummification process was not well done because the neighbors started smelling
I know that we'd move so I would move around the amount of cum
You ever come in one spot forever?
Have you ever imagined coming in one time?
I know like that was so disgusting. You come once in foreskin. Your cock smells like a fucking
You know like you're like
Off once yeah, like the night I take a pass in the morning like I got fucking um cock
Yeah, yeah, you're right. That's you're right. You're right. It's gross. Yeah gross
And then you have that clean of the chlorine cummy smell. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. It smells like like a puddle, but bleachy
Yeah bleachy like autumn puddle
I don't want to be dead and cummy. Don't do that. Don't do that. No, we're gonna blow you blow it up
Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't come what if I put like just let me just think it through them
What what if I work on them? Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, that's neither
Yeah, yeah, I'll come in the car cock sleeve. What but I'll just do it on your face
What do you mean? I would probably put the condom on calm and just right when I come
And just do it on your face. I also don't want a cocky thing. Look at the jiggering of the fist
Like a tap you're doing a yeah, because I don't want in just one spot. I want to like spread out like a jox and pollock painting
Yes, yeah, I'm just all over the face. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's nice. Anyway. Um, I enjoy you
I'll be I feel like I've known you forever
And I give Maddie mouth. It's in a round of applause. Maddie. What's your podcast called?
Powerful truth angels. We almost got 5,000 subscribers. It's really been a big year. Um
Listen
Yeah, yeah, if you like what I'm talking like we talk about early trauma. We talk about, you know graffiti
We talk about food. So if I fly into vanc if I fly into Toronto, I know like if I fly in New York
Like where you know if I fly
If I fly into fucking Toronto and I do yuck yucks, for instance
Yeah, can I do your podcast then it's in we shoot it in Los Feliz
Wait, he does his podcast here. Yeah
You live here wikipedia you live here
Google no, I live in ridgeway. Yeah, but my podcast is still here. There's planes
There's a you fly out here. How many times are you here like six months a year?
Oh, you do you are
All right, well then when are you mr. Hawaii schedule?
Can you schedule when when can I do his podcast? Whenever I'm here for two weeks
All right, I'm gonna you gotta come tomorrow after I do centinos. Yeah, I'm going to Hawaii
But anyway, yeah, where where do you shoot on the big island? No, no, no
Yeah, and I got a cookbook, but I've already sold like hundreds of thousands of copies
So I don't really want to plug that. Yeah. Yeah, but
And I got oh, I got sorry. I got two books. I've sold hundreds of thousands of copies. So I don't want to
Yeah, there's new york times bestsellers
My high school teacher said I was a loser
Fucking kooks. All right, man. Thank you. No class. I want to say one thing really quickly
When I saw you do stand up
I want to say that I thought that you truly were the funniest person and uh,
It was like your your enter like it's I won't mention the other comics that were there
But you and sentino genuinely were like you were lights out and it was my second time the only time
I went to the the ice house in pasadena. Yeah with and went and saw andrew. Yeah
And an alley alley long for him. Yeah
No, alley mac. Yeah, alley mac. Yeah
Yeah, and then and then uh, and then I went to the comedy store and it was a crazy list
It was like one of those lists. It's like rogan and whitney every like it was like one of those things you you see on the internet
and and uh, you
Destroyed it was like that was like I was just like that see that's funny. These other people are just mumbling up. Thank you
Oh, how can you be a professional comedian and not tell jokes?
My podcast is the best hello
Sleepers, uh, what an episode maddie mathison, huh, george? That was so good. So good. I love maddie
I love how also maddie would like literally look to bobby then get confirmation from koala from something he says
Then he'll look at to us to get confirmation
Like we're good. We're good. Love his energy dude. So funny big fan. Um sleepers
The much anticipated rainy day soup competition is up on patreon
You guys were wondering what we're bobbing koala talking about where he did some shadow play
Well, you can see all the shadow play on patreon.com
Uh slash tiger valley
I watched I laughed my ass off because all we knew was
Just the stuff that we shot. Yeah, bobby everything he said about uh, were he putting koalas in last?
Uh hilarious
Hilarious who got first and second. We don't know. Maybe it was joules. Maybe last minute competition came in. I don't know
Go check it out guys. Oh, I know patreon.com
Tiger by you're so dumb
And guys if you want your questions on tiger by by emailing us at adviceunhelpful at gmail.com
We're also doing a future video questions as well
We have the technology we invested thousands into it and we now have just for you just for you guys
Just go to adviceunhelpful at gmail.com and if it is a video make sure you put in the subject video submission
In george, I have a question
Oh, what's that? Gilbert? I was on the youtube today and I was like, whoa
What's this cool podcast where everyone's literally at a pool and joined their lives with this cool 70s theme of font
What is that?
Oh, that's your lob. I was gonna push push powerful truth angels because uh
Oh guys, check out powerful truth angels and do not watch the other show
I was that george is also we got I got so many things to promote right now. George. What's it called though?
Oh, so uh, you can check out kalilah and any letterman and ester pavitsky on bloodbath
Are you are you and brice's laughs in the background on this podcast?
Yes, there you guys go if you are more of that famous george and brice
You know how to unsell things. It's a it's a lot of fun. Are you kidding me?
You're a hot thing. I read it right now. You're a laugh. It's top vo for animation
Uh, so guys hire george, but yes guys, uh blood bath. Uh, is it uh, what is it youtube.com?
Bloodbath, where can we find it? Uh, we're gonna get the custom url real quick. You hear that?
Just search for it. It's it's available if you search for it
And then uh, what else do you want to shout out george? Oh, just wanted to shout out maddie. I think uh
Episode three is the one where he talks about going to the seasill hotel. Oh, and that might have uh
a little special uh reddit laugh celebrity in the background fact check it
That's why you're promoting that one. So I really did get a I did a great laugh for you
All right
More of that laugh and another podcast go to powerful truth. No, no fun fact
Uh thin lips who has been our b cam here for uh back before kovat. Yeah, he's producing that show lots of great fun
Guests, I think they've had all the gas all gas. No breaks. Uh, yeah, super fun. They've had uh
Shoots, I'm blanking now. It's a lot. Just check it out guys. There's there's so much let him promote it
He's there. There's so much. Just check it out thin lips. We miss you. We miss all our b cams. Actually. Yeah, that's the john
Now
Uh george anything else you want to promote?
This is your chance, man. The wide's on you cam's gonna zoom up right now
Oh, that's it
Go hit up george tiger belly intern for one of the 80 things that he has to do you actually looking for interns people
If they can work remotely and editing and stuff for you guys, uh, it's hard to do things remote now
I want to I want to train people in I want to get make sure they they know things uh inside and out
Hey guys, if you want to you want to hustle and move to la get tested every day and uh contact george prove your worth
In this industry, uh guys, we love you so much. Uh, you can follow george of george underscore kimmel
You can follow bobby of bobby the live cloud like calamity k
Uh, you can follow everything math maddie madison at gilbets. That's his go-to source for all his stuff
We love you so much follows on tiger belly
And we love you guys
Hey
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