TigerBelly - EP 291: George Lopez Has a Haunting

Episode Date: April 7, 2021

George is followed by Sandra Bullock. Bobby is noticed behind the mask. Khalyla boxes for the Titas. We talk Chinito Disneyland, a missing passport, and car ride claw hands.www.patreon.com/tigerbellyPlease support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus cameras on everything's good. All right. Yeah, so don't hey George Don't say anything until I introduce you Why you know that I do that Used to say that as a fucking this person a fucking bad Don't worry about it. I said they're not you but somebody I'd say I'm gonna fucking jump his ass. All right. All right. No, I got you Five four three two I love making up Asian songs It's my fear. I took my ticket. Don't don't beat us up anymore

That's a good one. It's a good one. Thank you so much relevant. Yeah, thank you so much. Gilbert You okay today because your energy is weird. Oh, yeah, my man. I think my face got bigger You're getting fatter and you buttoned on your white shirt. I've also I've lost a Oh, those titties it'll never go away though, huh? No, that's just guy. No, yeah Guy Nicomastia. All right. Are you okay, George? Yeah, you're doing great. He's a baby's coming this week Yeah, Clyde and I got in a fight earlier who wanted to kill him. Oh my god. She we were almost broke up today We didn't let the post office, but we're fine. We're fine. We made it through So I want to introduce this next guy and I'm you know, I have to be honest with you

um We've had okay get we've had big a big gas, you know, I think this is one of the biggest ones we've had You know aquafina to Vinny Hatterst David Spade dice We've had all kinds of people but this next guy has to be up there man because I really look up to him He's the first guy I ever paid To watch comedy he was performing at the Nokia and I wanted to get on with this eight at this Hispanic girl Mm-hmm, right If you like and I love George, right and at late at night

We were watching YouTube videos with George's stand-up and stuff like that and so I was like I and I was sold out So I call CAA my agents and I go hey, can you give me is it we got you fourth row tickets, too But then they made me pay for it for my oh, yeah, yeah And so we go to the show right packed, right and there's other celebrities in the audience, too Yeah, so and then I saw something I've never seen and I always thought to myself. I want that I want to just be that George comes out and he I think his back was turned to the audience or something and There was a nine minute applause break Jesus. He stood there

Wait that exact pose His back was turned Nine minutes, right and people crying Crying right and I'm you know, I've never seen this shit fucking amazing I want to be that and then he turns around. He was so funny very funny. We were crying, but Obviously he had his own show, right? But you know the one also the one thing I also want to say is you know um, a lot of people they make it and you kind of go I

Don't know, you know They make it and you look you drive by a bill billboard. I know a lot of people and you drive by you go That was luck, right? But sometimes people make it and you go. Oh They put the work in and the miles in which is what I've done. You know me and just rode and Rejection and just years of just hanging on and so it's like This is one of those dudes dude because I remember before even had the show He was always on the road, you know, and he was always I saw him on an airplane once I think he was playing Bart did Bart reeds, you know, I mean comic strip or whatever and so um

You know, I look up to him in that way as well, you know, I mean, but let's give him a round of applause George Lopez, everybody Oh Some truth in the world Do you have to go to a converted fucking garage in the valley to find real truth fuck I say, yeah But bro, you thank you madam you fucking You worked hard dude. I remember those days, dude, you know, you know, um the the

You know, I I started at the comedy store like the first time I went on stage was that that was at the comedy store in Westwood ah Back in the day in in 79. There was a strike. There was a strike in comedy You guys came here, right? Yeah, there was a striking comedy like all the comedy the comedy store was on strike and the comedians are striking and You couldn't go to the you couldn't go to the club in Hollywood closed Wow, and they had a place on Sunset. It's an Italian restaurant now and across the alley. They had an arcade Really fucking arcade. Yeah. Yeah, you go in there to ski ball or play pinball

So you'd be playing pinball the guy would come go. Oh, you're next. You're like, all right, the guy would slide One quarter fucking play for five hours. Yeah. Yeah, and we would go there. That's the first time I ever went on stage. Wow and And You know, it's so easy to fucking discount somebody and say I'm a fuck that dude a that guy's this and that but When I went to the comedy store In 91, I think I just done the tonight show with Johnny Carson Wherever Carlos was in the in in the comedy store. That's when he took What was really kind of the bulk of that set that I had and then I

Would be out there and they'd go a man, you know, the fucking doorman of the comedy store is doing your shit And I'm like what there was no phone back Wrote up to you, you know, with a fucking satchel like The pony express Yeah, but that you know and there really wasn't anything you really could do back then Yeah, and and it's funny because you know people still bring up. Oh, do you put your hands on them? You know, I really didn't even know Carlos very well, but that's almost 30 years ago. That was 93 It's almost 30 fucking years. Wow

So so at the capital city comedy club and in the late 99 899 Chappelle was there The weekend before I was there and it's all sold out and everybody's like fucking sold out And then I come in and it's first show sold out second one three quarters Sunday The awful Saturday, yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, and the guy comes in the dressing room or at the bar at the bar And he goes hey man, Sandra Bullock is It's gonna come in the second show and I'm like Drinking on stage

To kill time I fucking six shot Six and I Fucking went to the room and I got on my knees and I said, please Don't let her fucking come in here cuz I was awful. Yeah, because when somebody sees you for the first time They remember good or bad mad. I'm gonna fucking drunk all that shit. Yeah, and I didn't know or anything. Yeah, and then like a year July of 99 Get a call and this is how you know this producer wants to see you that this idea. It's not really an idea

Just want to see you. Yeah, I'm much different now. I go there at the ice house I was the king of the ice house. I can lay them out one of the best rooms. Oh, I don't know. You don't even know why It's just whatever it is there in that one when you walk out there there with you almost as if you guys are on the same level absolutely, so You know the guy disappears literally for like a fucking calendar year and then next July like this motherfucker only worked in July He comes back and he says you're interested in that price. I don't know what it is and it was Sandra Bullock who lived in Austin You know culturally aware, you know kind of the height of miscongeniality and And she came to see me at the fucking improv and Brea

From the chateau. She she had a house above the Chateau. Wow Embraer on a Thursday like that's fucking 60 miles away. Yeah, that's like two-hour traffic And her headlights were behind me and all the way over there I'm like, she's gonna fucking beer off like fuck. Wait, wait, wait So you met her in LA and she followed you I met her in LA and they said we're gonna meet at her house and all Caravan out there. Wow. Oh my god, and those lights are behind me and the fucking two hours. I'm going I'm just in there going, you know, she's gonna say fuck it She's gonna get off the freeway and I got you keep going Wow, and she didn't

But you know, yeah, yeah long way man Also, I would be driving like so like safe, right? No, normally, you know, when I drive So, you know me I'm wild Yeah, so so And it was it wasn't you know, it was it was good enough to where it's not leaking on the side So that Thursday gets too big you start to leak on the end. Yeah. Yeah, but it was a nice, you know Unit and and she came in afterwards and she says it's all that shit true I said, yeah your grandmother and all that fucking bullshit. Yeah, and she goes, okay. Here's here's what we're gonna do

the idea that that we wanted was like The kids were the primary actors and the parents were secondary like they'd you know Like and all the things fucking leave it to be for the fucking parents cuz I got comes home from work You know, they're like third third people. Yeah, and she goes, but I'm compelled by what but what what I've heard Wow, so she goes come to my come to my will set up a meeting come there I'm gonna sit down. We'll get a ride assistant and then just let's just talk. Wow, and then of course, you know the Latino in you I

Go hit balls that wits it Fucking golf ball. Yeah, I've been 30 12 o'clock. It means that one 1215 Fucking hey, that's a mad fuck this shit man. Nothing's gonna add, you know phone rings you on your way. I said I'm not going He goes why I said, what's it really gonna do for me, man? What the fuck? You know, what's you gonna do because you just inherently it's so fucking hard to do anything or get any any help But you don't think there's anybody legit. That's really gonna at least that's what I thought like and then you know The fucking part of the whole Latino thing is that I think why we're not further ahead is

You don't have the ability to fucking ask for help You know, that's really true a lot of Asians are actually like that, too There's a sense that like we don't want to burden anybody Mmm, so we kind of just like keep it like internalize it and be like well if I can't figure it out on my own like I'm not gonna go ask for it because when you're fucking growing up and if you say hey, can you do the what it? Don't come over here and be fucking asking these people for exactly food And I'm hungry. So so you just you just shut it down. You don't want to inconvenience anyone. It's like, yeah Yeah, why don't you why didn't you go to the dot nodding and that's part of the whole thing, too

That sickness and people that die way before they're supposed to because they don't they don't they see the signs They think it's a burden to you know, yeah, especially with like authority figures or who we think are like higher up in our heads Even if it's not true, right? Like your parents just in at least for me at least we're Filipino that shit's instilled in us to not bother people Yeah, so so so all of that and he says listen They fucking called it only this motherfucker was always eating food anyway You know now that I said I'm not gonna say what I say the fucker was always fucking And he says hey, they now it never makes sense because they or they called and asked you what you wanted for lunch

Ah, so so that's how he knew it was legit. So I said, all right, so I go I'm sitting, you know, she's at the high regions. I cover up people everything sound a book She's doing that laugh where she snores like You know, are you because when I'm around like, you know, even now if I'm around like a big actress or right? I've been in those situations. I get nervous. Yeah, you're nervous as fuck. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, and you know we'll talk about you know talk about that shit, but Three hours like three and a half hours and you almost feel like therapeutic is a yo You know my grandmother would I said my grandmother would put me in every sentence even if I fucking did they go

Uh, so what happened to that dog? You had that fucking dog was fucking shit. Not over the house like George Everything yeah, you know, uh, you know goes to the Christmas fucking play Never goes to the play We're up there fucking singing she gets up. So you're singing Fucking gets up and fucking walks out. Yeah, my dad we have a photo of it I was doing Huckleberry Finn, right? I play at Huckleberry Right, right. So, you know when you an Asian guy or Korean dudes playing Huckleberry friend You get an applause break when you hit the stage lay up like because you don't expect it

So when you they see an Asian guy with a little you know made oh my god over wall and doing this Oh, right Oscar already people are like crying laughing right, but then my mom took a photo of my dad My dad is in the third row. Oh I have it on my Instagram bro fucking dead asleep fucking awesome. Yeah, and you know, they don't realize that they're fucking you up You know, it would it would be very almost like pop-up video Like if you're a kid and your parents fuck with you or leave you alone Or my grandmother would I be doing my homework and she'd come in and turn the she wouldn't even look at She's turned the fucking light off in me. Yeah

I'm sitting in the dark. Yeah, I go. I'm in here doing my homework. She turned the fucking light I go so so so so during the day when the lights free, you don't fucking do a fucking thing by that night You fucking want to learn at night, but not during the day when you don't need a fucking lamp to do your homework Yeah, yeah, you wish a video with a little bubble would pop they go let this one go because this will fuck with you for the rest You let it and then you read the bubble like okay. I got it Because they fucking put this shit on you that affects your relationships. It affects your fucking Intimacy it affects your friendships and the awful man What my parents used to do my mom or all my aunties to my titas

They used to put all the kids under age of 10 for every single birthday party They don't they gave us boxing gloves and the kids would just box it out like we were bloodied up and then the adults Fucking serious. Yeah, I grew up in the Philippines and the adults would bet on which kid I would win human cockfights. You know what that's fucking all human cockfights. They want it amazing. Yeah. Yeah, I love it I mean, it's awful I don't think they would do is they would put this like they would put this big thick thing of Bamboo log and then they would put lube or slime on it and then whichever kid would like fall off of it first So it would you were just like hanging on like this

Loop it was just it was a physical torture tactic like there are agony was there and your child It was like Ninja Warrior then Right into the fire the yard inside of the house No, but but you know, but nobody put a fucking premium on kids like now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know, it was fun for them They're probably fucking drinking fucking laughing hard. Yeah Do you think it's easier? Let me ask you that. Do you think because we grew up because you're what 60 you said? I'm 50 right so when we were kids fucking 21 If he was a car you will take it

But but we were I grew we grew up in the day where like racism was like outward Yeah, like kids would walk up and do this in front of me and just nothing would happen And people you like the teachers would high-five the kids and then the teacher would do it You know me they didn't give a fuck right, but now kids, right? Like it's Bobby's birthday. They put the tape right But now you know because of you know, it's because of cancel culture Yeah, and it's just a different breed of kids that we're raising. They're not they're not exposed to the kind of shit that we were exposed to The but it doesn't mean it's not there though. Oh, you think it is there or maybe I think it is there I think it's there the prop the problem is that you're trying to fucking rewire the the culture in the system

But it's been going for so many fucking look at how this world runs on shit that the fucking week Just get fucking buried and yeah that fucking work You got people in fucking cages and you're fucking Latinos, too You know never before in life had there been that we all fucking loved each other You know only fucking people who don't know any fucking Latinos think that we all get along Fucking don't like you know guy. You must come from a big family. I'm an only child mother Just because it's hidden doesn't mean it's not there, you know, and then when it pops out It's a big deal, but it's it's just gonna fucking come out

Mmm, you know, unfortunately, it's better for kids because they don't have to You know be scarred by that shit, right? But also You're rolling the dice that later on That motherfucker's not gonna go shoot up the shoot up his work Yeah, they might have some like like an odd sense of entitlement that We never got like we never felt entitled to anything now. They feel entitled to everything You know, I've watched him for my you know my daughter Mayan like I never you know, I never watched YouTube at all Yeah, fucking old man, you know, kiss a cup of tea

And and now it's all I watch but in there I'm fascinated right now by people pretending to be police officers, but also the the the guy the Shooter that shot of Santa Barbara because he he Elliot Roger. Yeah, so he talked about in that video Not, you know being short being biracial not being popular with girls, but nobody's popular with girls You have to go talk to like that. Do you expect them to okay? Okay, did you see his videos of him talking about how good looking he was how he was like I'm gonna tell you something Elliot you didn't look like me right Elliot was mixed with white, right? So he had some chiseled, right?

He was me and boy for exactly. You're like his his dad got him a fancy car. Wait a minute. Nice clothes, right? I got what she said he was me and boy With what he looked like and what he had it was inside he couldn't do it I'm gonna fucking let the singer and journey that little Filipino dude. Yeah. Yeah, Arnell Pineda. Arnell Pineda So but you're right, but you're right and nothing yet his lip done like the lower lip was like, yeah, you know cosmetic already I think so the lower lip was really big like injected But you're right. He didn't look like he didn't look like us. Yeah. Yeah, but we I was able to do it I knew when I looked in the mirror when I was a kid. I looked in the mirror as a kid. I went. Yeah

You're fucked. No, no, no, but it was your picture. Yeah. No, you got you got everything fuck else And you gotta yeah, but but I don't I don't I think I saw a picture of your Instagram You're a kid. Yeah, yeah, but in my it was my own internal thought, right? I thought right? So I thought to myself I gotta do some extra shit, but I'm willing to do it, right? So, you know what? I didn't really like when I drove by the comedy store in La Jolla That's why I grew up in San Diego and I look at the open the open mic sign on Sundays and I signed up in 1995, right? Oh, I didn't go like I want to be college. I just thought, you know, I've seen it on TV I like it, right? Let me try it. Maybe and then it's just like I got an adrenaline from it

Yeah, but then but deep down I said, I always thought maybe if I got okay at this Maybe this will be something right that'll get me women Right, but I'm not gonna fucking shoot up fucking Santa Barbara, right? So so Um, did it was anybody in your in your family and in the business like there used to be a place of Japanese village You know in orange color there I You're in that place Hey, if it wasn't closed then it'd be closed now

What is that place? It's called Japanese Village. Yeah, and all the doors were like you just to get no But but they had a little you know figure. It's Disneyland, but a Chini Really at all the little bear and dancing like Like like the little dolls like the Cupid dolls like yeah, but is it like Chuck E cheese where they have the live band? But with the what are you called animatronic? Yeah, yeah worse, but worse. Yeah Yeah, I mean, but there was and you could go in there and you know like like like soaring over California Like it's not like cherry blossom. You know, I got like So so

But but that like but like that like you know and it and it was except Alpine Village was like a Switzerland thing like that all that shit. I know Alpine Village. Yeah, I have to say though George You know when I started doing comedy, but nobody in your family was a musician Nobody's like a sound engineer. He didn't speak English. My dad was a golfer. My dad played golf on his body on my body You know me with his clubs. He used to beat me with the club. No shit. Yeah. Yeah, I grew up in a violent Alcoholic home and my dad my parents my dad where it worked 16 hours a day We're immigrants, you know, I mean so I didn't have you know, I just kind of drove by a Club and I just signed up

So you just it just but you what you like you watch comedy like you had yeah, you would watch it late at night You know, I used to watch you on our senior hall all that's all right So you would watch and you go it was good to see you on it and like a Margaret was another one Where I just kind of go. Oh, I mean, you know, George isn't you know Asian, but like he's a he looks different Right nine percent Yeah I mean nine percent, you know, but but most of us native American and then you know, you you know, I did the results of when I had the talk show and all of I get you kind of like fuck him like I wasn't Mexican enough because of me, but we're all made of

Black black could start from first people, you know, anything surprise you about when you got your genetic information Besides that you were mostly Native American that I didn't have a casino somewhere in Oklahoma We're living off the rest of my life I think that I think the amount of the Native American was was big because It goes against what I never met my father But the person that they that they said like I didn't feel a connection to that guy There's not a lot of pictures, but whenever they would talk about or show a picture. I didn't go like yeah

I don't feel it. So it had to be my mom was a little fucking on the side and all it was shit So so I'm sure it's not who she said it was But but yeah, it does help to see it does help to see People that that look but not only that because There were not a lot of Asians doing comedy, right? It was weird I only hung out with the Hispanic comics like I hung out with Gabriel Willie Barsena You know me and Jeff Garcia, and I used to open for Carlos You know I mean and so it was weird in in the early days

I was really embraced by the Hispanic Yeah, we do all the clubs in Alhambra and all you know me You know what at the bars and stuff, you know, that's a natural thing by the way because I I came here as an immigrant Right when I was 15, I didn't meet a white person really until I was like years into it But I was so accepted within the Latino community like all I my whole high school years was just like going to quinceaneras I speak Spanish. I made out with friends uncles Quinceaneras like that that was my whole thing because it was such an easy connection to be Asian With within the Hispanic or within the Latino community. Oh wait a minute uncles were like, you know what?

That's another thing. There's a lot of shit My friend uncles are always around to make out with You know what I mean? Because it's just all the shit happens in the back yard, so they're like It's true Yeah, yeah, I don't fucking tell anybody You know so it is a lot of it's a lot of shit this Yeah, but it felt like home for me like and then around like the white community But were those people who were immigrants too or they weren't not they weren't born in the United States

No, a lot of them were like their parents were immigrants like it was a mix and like my high school Blair high school It was a lot of the kids actually like half of the Latino community there was like new here So there a lot of them were esl students and half of them. They were first generation But within that mix, I just felt like so at home because they didn't question my My ethnicity or my nationality. They were just like, ah, she kind of looks like a wetter a little bit Right, but she kind of is also Asian, but fuck it. She's one of us right like pure embrace But I think but I think that's more of the people who are immigrants that say, you know come in The house always is warm because of the stove and everybody's cooking more so than like chicanos that I grew up in

San Fernando that those parents were almost like the pair the kids of the generations, you know, they were that um and they They they they were distrustful of strangers where their parents would be like, you know, have a come and eat my grandma was like I don't fucking like them. Don't let them in the house. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but but her mom and her family would have been come in Who's that? That's my friend. Hi, and they're just you know And that but but then that and I think that's where we lose a lot of shit now that Everybody's on guard

But what I found about the hispanic audiences because I would only perform, you know in the beginning with They really did embrace me as soon as I would come. I mean they would yell out stuff Like well chino and all this stuff like that, right? Right, but it was still like, you know, it all in fun and whatnot But I you know, I went to the I was like I went to the latino laugh festival. They invited me. We're in san Antonio, right? I remember me and joey Diaz went over there. We could we had no money We begged managers to buy us meals because we couldn't eat but it was like, you know all that early experience You know, I mean was this just so vital for me dude because you know in the beginning, you know These white clubs wouldn't have me. They just wouldn't you know, and then it's as soon as I

They wouldn't so if you call the place or they wouldn't sign you up or they would Wouldn't audition. No, you would go to the improv and it's like you wouldn't you wouldn't a regular and you couldn't know You didn't even know who to talk to right because they didn't have the friend that knew right? So I will I only did was like was like You know the the the Hispanic nights or at the comedy store because I was a doorman there, but you know It's as soon as I in Nineteen nine two thousand. I did Leno and I got mad TV right in a year and then all of a sudden clubs were like All right

I had to at that point sure right You had to get credit and then they were like come on in So but but how long did I mean because like you don't give a fuck and that's and a lot of Like comedies all they do is give a fuck So when when I would see you're right. They're like, so you this motherfucker was like no shirt on fucking naked fucking thong You're just like this Crazy that you're like, how can you not fucking love this dude like already Latinos love you like when they y'all coach, you know That's like, yeah, yeah, I thought I love standing up and that's that's that's what you want

Um, so I can see it, you know, I can see it but also To get out of your own way takes fucking 20 years Yeah, and you did it enough in five fucking years like I don't know. I don't know how you did it It was probably five six years. Yeah, where you got out of your way faster because You nobody tells you you got to get out of your own way I think you find it But then you however your process was like you're like, I'm not gonna give a fuck early And that's I think when you think about how time we waste so much time you guys don't get better

Yeah, yeah, guys don't get better They're around and they're around a long time and they're not better or they're not different You were different and better every time somebody saw you well I think the most important thing was is that not only was I Asian but there was I'm not, you know, I mean I'm a specific there wasn't an Asian like me Right like authentically like me like I think that's why when I first met him like a decade ago or eight years ago Yeah, I was like that one that Asian is so So fucked up. That's the one I want like I I don't I don't

I don't relate to the do-gooders like I didn't you know The just by virtue of even telling people you're Asian automatically They put you in a box of being like a model minority and all of this stuff So when I saw this motherfucker just like half naked at the comedy store. I was like I want that one That one I tell you okay. Listen. I'm gonna be 60 April 23rd. Yeah In my life, I have never heard a Let's say Latina, Filipina, Chiquita all across all of it together Any woman say then when she saw a guy and he was fucked up that they say

That's the one Word of God Because because if if women would just fucking understand that you're fucked up And try and let you be fucked up, but you'll come home. Like you'll be so much better But remember I grew up boxing as a kid Like I between him and I But yeah, yeah, but whatever whatever it is, you know, what that's a fucking beautiful thing because judgment Doesn't go away when fucking people judge you they

They might say oh, you know, I'm very non-judgmental then someone parts of their fucking driveway They're like you fucking wet bags and I fuck you and it just comes out. Yeah, but you know that it's it's Yeah, it's great. You know when you were mentioning earlier about your rise and stuff like that and I just I kind of like You know, it's almost as like because I knew about the Sander Bullock encounter You know me and how you made it but it's like um and that was and that's just an opening That's just a fucking door open. That's not like, you know, hey, you're gonna be a star With the after the after the I used to cry at everything too, man. Like I used to cry all the time not so much anymore But it was just so fucking surprising to me

Yeah, that anybody would take an interest in me because nobody did Oh, I want to go cry and uh and uh at the end of the meeting we're going down the stairs And and she opens a door and I say listen, whatever happens, you know today I just want to say, you know, thanks like, you know, because it's this more than anybody's ever like taking an interest And she looks at me. She goes, okay Why don't you let me worry about the business part of it and you just fucking worry about being funny and I Wow, man, I got in the car and I was fucking crying and shit No, no, when they then you then obviously you got a call like, um, all right, they're gonna do a pilot

No, I went straight to the fucking series because you know, you know, wow Who's help Bruce Elford who did rock uh, rosanne and was doing drew carry. Yeah They have the same attorney Sandra Bullock and Bruce Elford and and Cliff the attorney said, you know, Sandra's got a project and Bruce didn't know who I was he said because he wanted to meet Sandra So Sandra took me to Bruce's office. We talked. He liked me. They set it up at the ice house again, you know Nobody said let's go somewhere else. I said fuck because you know because I was fucking killer in there Like you know already really worked hard

But also knew that I could fucking deliver every time and then he came and he was on board And then he brought Peter Roth from Warner Brothers and then I love Peter's the best. Yeah He just got replaced after so many years. Yeah, he's hot. He's a hugger hugger. He's a great guy. Yeah Nobody tells him as a lump on his back Everybody fucking hugs him. I don't say Peter. You don't got a You know, get out of my eye. Yeah, and uh and then stew bloomberg who was

The head of tv back then when that was the last tv He that was one of the last presidents where it was about the talent and not about numbers and not about You know a time so it was about talent. Yeah, roseanne and they had all all the you know tim allen It was it was about tv was about the talent in the show And then he became about numbers and then but he came to see me And peter came to see me in there and then prisander was there and that was it I remember the next day was flying to work at the laugh stop in houston and I land and uh Uh was mark babbitt's there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I love that and then uh, like he calls and he goes you're sitting down

I said, uh, I'll be in the car. I'm on my way in houston and he goes. Hey, man abc call man that That they're about to show like six on the air And I was liking the backseat by myself. Oh my god. I was like, whoa, man. I goes you all right. I said, yeah, yeah Yeah, wow. I'm okay. All right. Go get ready man. We're you know, we're gonna. Well, all right We're fucking town car, you know the black thing in the town. You know the victoria thing the cars I don't use anymore and that's how the driver hang up and I said, hey, uh, I just got a show on abc That motherfucker never said a word

Yeah but then but then When I got that fucking I'm initial fucking bite because I'd never had the initial bite and I said to myself. I said They're gonna have to fucking take me out of here fucking kicking and screaming I'm not going down without working as hard as I could Wow during that time and I had kidney disease and nobody knew, you know And uh, I I knew that I you know, I couldn't fucking remember shit your blood's toxic

You can't remember shit that are you all right? I didn't tell the I didn't tell them. I finally had to tell them Yeah, and uh But this was already like Three years in so it was already, you know beginning renewed and stuff like that. So I kidney disease from just your lifestyle I was born premature. I didn't know Finally through the foundation through getting a foundation. Yeah, and you know, you know When I had when I had it done um

I remember telling that you know my my ex-wife we talked now, you know, I was only you know I was only disrespectful to her and for fucking 10 years Huge mistake. Yeah. Yeah, I mean I talked to her on the way over. We talked now and but it's just part of what I didn't You know, nobody taught me to appreciate things in life. So of course, you know You're gonna be fucking rogue and you're gonna be disrespectful to your wife and to your kid and to this family that she tried to make But you know, she made mistakes as well but I was sick so she helped me when I was sick all right and um I have to say though like, you know, because

When when you're a comic, right? And you're struggling and no respect and all that stuff and all of a sudden because I've been in situations where a year or two Where you're hot Right and and when and at first when it happened I was kind of a dick Because I just didn't know, you know, I mean how it all worked and I just you know I was full of myself and then all of a sudden I I got humbled. You know what I mean? I had to humble this

You know, he had a post office today. We already fucking said, I'm sorry. Shit. No, I know no He lost his passport Which is the fucking Which is the really the worst fucking thing. Yeah, all right. So I'll tell you what happened. Oh, no I mean, let me see my side mate. Let me my say and even during the pandemic even though you can't fucking travel Don't lose your fucking All right, I fucked up One more thing George

Not only that he loses passport, but his license has been expired for two years. Oh god So there's no way to get a new passport without the license I'm shooting a movie in may and I can need the passport and it's like and if I don't have a I fuck because it's a big movie Right, so it's like finally. Can I just tell you what? Okay, go ahead. Your version. You're talking about it was over. You know, I feel bad for bringing it up I'm not married. I have to fight through a surrogate Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is so we do this all the time. I just let me just get my point across. Okay So bro, bro, so it's like I had to get up early to go all the way to the west. Anyway, tell George what early is

Doesn't matter what it doesn't matter because George is a comic. He would understand 1 p.m. Is it? Yeah, of course Yeah, and that's as a comic. That's early for earlier. Thanks. Thank you so much, George So anyway, I'm sitting there right and I had to go take the photo I took the photo all right, and then I sat back down and I didn't put my mask back on and she just I told because we're already we're already good, right? She's like she's just like where's your mask? And as soon as she said that I go

And I made a face and I put the fucking mask on And then she goes, you know what you're acting like that to forget it I'm out of here and she just gets up from the fucking office like a cry baby And then she's here walking across the street, right? I have all of my paperwork. What the fuck who did all that paperwork for you? You did Exactly that big pile of paperwork that you're carrying in the middle of the street like that You didn't do a fucking goddamn thing with that paperwork. I did all that. I've been in contact with your manager I've been slaving fucking losing sleep over your passport not mine your lost power. I already stood up. Sorry. Anyway, we finally get to the post office

And I have to tell the people at the post office that yes I vouch that he is who he is because he doesn't have a driver's license. It's a whole thing, right? And then he has another Karen his see fit at the post office. Well, first I get recognized through the mask, by the way That's a good thing. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool doesn't help No, but it was cool. We're in a fight, right? I'm in the mask and some guy just comes in because I'm a big fan of your work and I go Thank you It felt good. It felt good through the mask bro. I'm asian too. Yeah, they can recognize an asian dude like this bro Fuck so anyway, that's right. And I want to look at her and give her a wink, but I did it

And then what did I do? I basically said I was like look You are a nobody Right in this situation when things need to get done Don't act like a princess. It's not the time to act like a princess because we need to get shit done You're a fucking nobody as long as you don't have a passport And that's that's that's basically what I said and you know what to kill me now in context It's really like saying like, you know focus. Yes, that's the latino way. I'm saying you're a fucking nobody Be fucking get down to the fucking level motherfucker. That's what I'm saying. Hey focus. Okay. Stay with me

That's it's like the simple comfort. I I fucking understand that all right, but it's like, um I already apologized I already apologized. We're good and we held hands in the car. We did he forced it. It was a little forced Oh, what? We were a little forced. Yeah. Yeah. We did we did one of those. I grabbed her hand. I go, all right Let's fucking claw. Let's get out of here. We clawed it. We clawed it. Two fingers And then uh, I'll put it by the time we get to Ventura. I'll have fucking three fingers that will call me Yeah, but yeah, but um, I just want to say this before just to get it out there Is is that I don't feel like I'm better than anybody

No, just look at me right now. Don't look at anyone else. All right Lady look at me right now. Yeah, go ahead. All right I'm and you know this right? I I'm a generous guy Oh my god, here we go. He's gonna suck his own dick. I'm gonna suck my own dick for a second. Can I suck my own dick? Yeah, it's my show because I suck my own dick. It's our show actor. It's our show. It's our show All right. All right. It's just that um, I just want to say that I don't think that I'm special, right? I just get in a bad mood when I get up early

Oh, it's called Diva shit. I don't even behave here, but go ahead. No, okay. George. Please. No. No, I'm George, please. It's fascinating I know you're the guy's iphone. No, no, it's fascinating to me. I Yeah, yeah, I'm watching fucking serial killer documentaries Wait, which one's your favorite? You see the night stalker one. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's a good one. He's a good one That's a good one. He's one of my favorites. Somebody said, um, they were friends with Gil Carrillo. You know the the night stalker Yeah, I got us. I'm trying to get him to be on the thing. I want him on this Hey, let's see if we can get him. We'll come with Gil Carrillo. Gil Carrillo was the guy who solves it. Basically

He was the guy who he wasn't a hot shot white cop. He was the guy from Whittier. Oh, right, right, right. I like that guy Maybe we share podcasts. I bring gill and we We do one of those crossovers or you you could have me as a guest on your yeah, let's do that Right and then have gill on there. Dude, that would make me so fucking happy. Let's do that. I love that guy But, you know, let's not get far away from where you guys are. We'll talk about that like Take a note of this. Man, Richard, Richard Elworth Harris But I just want to say that, um, I honestly don't think that I am right But you you frame it in a way that I'm like

Like kind of I don't want to say his name, but dang cookie I want to say his name. Yeah. Yeah. I'm Dan's been on our show. I love dang, right? Yeah That's not right. That's heavy, man. That's a heavy one Like that's fucking Because a lot of those dudes like dang was a little bit affected, you know, I don't know that But you know, but you know, you love these guys, but you don't know how somebody's going going to react But then sometimes and everybody comes down, but it's like how much how high do they get how how much do they think of themselves? Yeah at his peak

Even though I was his friend, right? It was hard. I always hear stories like when kippa dot, you know kippa dotta Sure kippa dotta. I guess, you know He's a penis pants Yeah, he peed in his pants, right out of just a nerve be nerve. No It was one important night where he was on tv or something or something televised and he was drunk and he peed in his pants and that fucked him up You know, I mean you can't why shit my but you know But no one really saw it but those, you know Like if I may say I was around in those times when those guys were around

So I would say because as a historian of comedy like when they did that show make me laugh Those guys got a lot of attention kippa dotta, uh big dunlop skip stevensson Shanley was on there frank and agai a lot of the really good guys and back then even though there wasn't cable or the or the places we have now You really you you really weren't getting an opportunity if you didn't deserve it So not saying that he wasn't deserved, but he was kind of you know Just a little bit maybe like that because of that that you're not in the thing, you know letterman highway mandal Shanley those guys, you know, um and and uh

There's like layers like in a gym, but the comedy store would be the gym There's some guys that like you say never get to wear the belt, but they get they maybe would have had an opportunity But they couldn't get couldn't get there, bro I gotta tell you sets kippa dotta story bro before he died. I get a call from the comedy store open mic It was a sunday And I go are you on your way? I was gonna go there to pick up a check and I went over there And they go this old man wants to come up and do open mic, but we won't let him and I go What's it was this old man? He goes he said he knows you because I know kip

And he goes his name is kippa. I go kippa dotta's here. I look and kip's there And he's like hey, they won't let me on And I fucking yelled at the fucking guy. I go. Do you know the fuck that is? You know what I mean, but he couldn't even get up on that and then he died Oh, no, that is you know, here's another side guy that died that I love charlie hill. Do you know charlie? Yeah, yeah, I knew charlie hill. I helped I helped charlie hill toward toward the end May I give him some money and bottom with me? I love charlie hill. Don't you? Well, one of the nicest guys Oh my god, I love charlie hill so much the sweetest. He was like an american indian. Can I say that? Yeah, native american

Yeah, so, um, george did the tonight show with johnny carcass. Yeah killed Oh, didn't get the joke. Uh, he'd come out and go. Hi. How are you? Hi, how? Yes, yes, and then he would sing this land is my land this land ain't your life Yeah, yeah, but also charlie back in the day didn't he go out with like a really hot actress at one point It was like either wonder woman or somebody he had like yeah Yeah, he hooked up with like he was the talk of the town in the 70s Everything but that's what prior did like prior brought all those if you look at the prior shows that he did at mbc Or whatever show he did like they were all writers

They were all he took the comedy story just said we're going to mbc. We're gonna do this marshal warfield He took yeah, all those people all tim. I forgot his name tim thomerson tim thomerson. Yeah. Yeah, all those guys All right, so george, I wanted to say because we're we're closing it out But at the end of our show we do a thing called wait a minute. Are we done? No, we do another segment. Oh, all right We didn't even fucking talk about it really anything. Oh, you're this was all George George. You're gonna come back. All right. Yeah, yeah This is you know, man. This is not the end of our relationship. Yeah, right. Yeah I just want to say though, bro. It's just that ask anybody. Um, I don't we've had Pretty great guests, but like for you. I got really nervous. I don't know why because I just I really look up to you, man

I don't want to get all fucking day with a question. We're just an israel together. Yeah. Yeah, we're in israel together. You guys fucking nice to each other Yeah, we're nice to each other. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because I know you posted an instagram post and you call it like the rice and beans tour Yeah, that'd be great, but it's you know, I'll be honest with you. There are times where like if I'm around chappelle Right. Yeah, and he's we're hanging out talking It's not like I'm fully there It's like when bill burrs here, right when I'm talking to I hang with bill burr all the time I'm not fully myself. I'm kind of in my head a little bit because and I also added a little bit Because I want them to think that I'm cool

Right. That's the honest thing, right? Right. There's certain people that I'm around where like if I'm around Johnny Sanchez or you know, I mean, I'll spit on I don't go fuck, right? But like or you know, even other big comics like, you know, whoever it might be right Santino or whatever, right? But it's like there's certain people where you you're just kind of around Mark Marin's another one like that. Well, it's like I kind of I edit Don't say that. You know what I mean? Say this in a nice way and I'm like that with George. I have, you know, maybe in time It's just called reverence It's right. Oh, but you know, you know, we haven't spent a lot of time. You guys never really seen me before in person

But you know, I don't give off an air like you would you would like Hold back saying something, right? No, not at all. That's not you wouldn't be honest. I think you're I think maybe I think when you did build I did build version of the whole podcast thing is new to me But nobody's really ever seen me be anything outside of what I'm portraying or whatever Yeah, this is kind of the freshest approach to it. I think people are surprised To see me the way that I am and not the way they perceive me not only that what's great is is that I know that

When you come back here that we're there's other things that we can talk about because you don't have You know, a lot of guys you go they have like they're filtered, right? But you're so natural and you want to talk about things or you're not you don't shy away from things So I just think what's the podcast that you're just what is your podcast called? Oh my god, hi Oh my god, hi And um Is it out? Yeah, it's out. I think it's the fifth one. I do it over there with Val over there. Yeah, at ATC Oh, yeah, we're the ATC too. Yeah. Yeah, right on. Do you like them? Yeah, I like them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

Um, so at the end of our show, we do a thing called unhelpful advice and people email us with problems And we sometimes don't know the answer but you know try or try not it doesn't matter Unhelpful advice with George Lopez Hi guys, I love how you are authentically yourself truly genuine I try my best to be similar to you in being always open since I myself was abused Let's just say my parents were monsters and I never really was a kid and there was back then it was all just horror and survival How do you guys find the resolve or energy to get past all the abuse and even though your dad beats you? Obviously therapy, but uh any life wisdom. Is this a kid?

Uh, yeah, hold the z. He has no age. Get help. See you there if you're in high school and how do you ask help? See if you're living in the in the hell, you know me and wait teacher You know me my dad's beating. What do you say when I when I came here in high school? I was so spiraling out of control that I went to my chemistry teacher in tears and it said I will kill myself today If I don't get help. I don't know who to get help from I'm a I'm new to this country Somebody helped me and the school did granted. I was in and do what I do. Just pin it up in here Don't pin it up. Don't pin up. Don't do it. Just absorb it into your body. It's going to turn into a cancerous throw

But that's what I think people make themselves sick. Yeah. Yeah, so you thought about You thought about Yeah, I was in and out of institution so much three times because I was such a suicidal kid because I was so lost in this Like new American world. I couldn't figure out where I belonged. I was you know, I didn't even know like what kind of Asian I was where I fit in and you know, I had a I had a dying father. I had grown up being beat my whole life So I was just really confused. So when I came here, I was thrust into this new world in like 10th grade I was like somebody. Please. Tell me how to do it because I I'm out this bitch. I will kill myself today and

That's a big step like that's a big thing Save your life save your life and like sound the alarm on yourself. Yeah, like there's no shame in saying I'm not doing well Can somebody you know Help me a bit and you know another's YouTube and all that stuff that you just put in specifically what you're what the issue is yeah, yeah, yeah, and you'll have your own answers and gradually I think you see start to see specks of light if you dig in the right direction like if your kid is doing that, right? You know your dad beat did he beat you with a gun? I love golf I'm not sure I would love golf if somebody was hitting me with a fucking nine iron of my fucking

That's why I can't play golf. It's awful because if I smell grass. I just get I get PTSD, bro. I start shaking you know I'm in grass. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like no my dad was like you even he would even go photo on my back But um, yeah, he just beat me with ping-pong all kinds of stuff, right? Utensils, you know, I mean, you know, I mean my dad was abusive But he beat the shit out of my mom a lot worse man or my mom would like, you know Black eye and all that shit, you know, I mean, so it's just like and when I you know, I absorbed it And this is not the I'm not telling him to do it this don't do this. I absorbed it

Then I started doing math, you know, I mean, I used to you know, do drugs end up in rehabs I've been a full rehabs in my life, you know, I mean, and you know, I have now over a year sober again by relapse a year and a half ago. She was there, you know, I mean, but it's like I've had my problems, you know, but now I have a trauma therapist and I really am dealing with all my issues, you know, but um It just takes time. Just don't kill yourself, bro. Yeah, when you Can I when you did drugs? Did you do them by yourself or did you do them with people by myself? Yeah, that's I think I like it alone. That's worse. So, yeah So if any if you're out, you know, when people do drugs by themselves, it's it's worse

They're more severe than you know, if we're all around like this, it can you can be fun at first Yeah, and then you slip off to your own fucking side that nobody sees you anymore and then You know, when they see you they're like, what the fuck, you know, not a lot of other bullshit, but I wish you well, man I know I know how no, no, I know how fucking hard that is man. You know, yeah, yeah to do all that shit. Yeah No, no serious. Yeah, it was um, you know when my because see right here, bro, right here, dude Behind all the red bullcrap. It's actually this is my dad right here, bro. That's ashes. That was my next question. Yeah You know, so this is the bottom half of my my brother has the upper half of my dad's body Ah, I have the boss. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because if there's a ghost, right?

You know what I mean? I don't want the upper half. Wait a minute. I have my fucking houses. There'll be there'll be some ghosts All right. Yeah, but you have a haunted house, George. Oh, yeah, I had somebody come. That's another. Hey, so No, no, no, no, no, don't don't don't you can't just Or House, bro This is our favorite genre is haunted Right now the house you're living in right now is haunted. I had somebody come and clean it and I'll show you

When I when I moved in there was noise And I thought that's an old house and then I heard ma And I fucking shot up and I said somebody I said someone's in here Fuck you go downstairs with the gun. Nobody's around Then you hear noise on the other side of the the house for years and you hear it and you're like, okay, you kind of make Peace with it. You know, you're like, all right, you know, and then people come over and they're like Hey man, I went into your kitchen to grab that stuff You asked me to grab and when I I fucking could feel somebody behind me because I thought it was a driver

And I looked back there wasn't anybody there. So I fucking ran out of your house or the or Somebody'll say they came to do one of these like door dashed kind of promos Yeah, and the lady was doing the sound and she told the person that was with me She says tell George that I hear somebody talking So if you can ask them to be to be quiet and there was I said, there's nobody here and the lady Fucking saw somebody fucking walk by and then it I'm gonna show you this picture and then I'll show you a video, but I'm gonna show you this picture. So So

Whatever you do Listen, if anybody has a fucking Ouija board throw that motherfucker Away today. Well you did Ouija in that house black mat. No, no, no, but it's black magic Ouija board It's funny. You could get one of fucking cv. It's fucking black magic, man Don't fuck with because you're calling people that are having gotten to where they belong Yeah, I know I've seen the movies, bro. You know, remember when I saw the exorcist, bro Motherfucker exorcist says hey father. You have any change for a cat? they if

They will if you're calling your father a fucking demon will take his voice and say It's you know, it's me, but it's a fucking demon. So careful who you call Because those motherfuckers won't I don't fuck around either. No, they'll come and they won't go away George, I have one question for you. You are a A, um, relatively wealthy man. Why the fuck are you still there? Fucking move Yeah, I know, you know Okay, let me tell you this story. Let me tell you this story. So, you know, I always wanted to live in Los Feliz, right?

so I fell out of escrow on a house that was up there and then You know, we're driving this guy's driving. It's like two hours on a fucking you know, because it's working in San Monica And I looked on truly and there's a house perfect fucking Los Feliz like a perfect house like you go. Oh my god Call this lady. I said hey bro. Can you get me in there? She calls. She goes tomorrow. We're in there at one o'clock I said nothing earlier. No, no, she goes George They have it like every 15 minutes with a 15 minute break like everybody wants this house So I said, oh, fuck then why even go she goes. Hey, you just go look

so I go in there Beautiful pool things in there Then you go upstairs come down the guy goes. What do you think and I said, uh, it's great and he goes you want it That's what do you mean? Do I want it? Like what about all these fucking goes? I call the guys That owner call the owner. He's a doctor. He goes he's a huge fan of yours So I said he gets was in your house and he said oh fucking George. He goes hey telling me to give him a full price He can have it and then there's like 50 fucking offers. Wow. So I I paid the full price and I got it and then You know, you do some work to it and in the fireplace

So my name is George because of I was born on April 23rd and at the general hospital over there My mom wanted to name me anastasia who they thought my father was and my grandmother's like fuck him You're not naming that motherfucker somebody that disappeared. So my grandmother goes. What's today tells the nurse. What's today? April 20. What's that day? It's st. George day So she goes George Edward st. George and I told the dude that I The contractor I said, hey man Can you fucking clean those fireplaces out because they look like they haven't been cleaned in forever and when he calls me back

He goes hey when you get home look in the fireplace because there's a conquistador tile in there And it's a tile of st. George on the 1920s So you almost feel like it's I mean, you know, it's not st. Christopher. It's not, you know, the beating of water loop It's a fucking st. George tile from the 20s. So I made the mistake of calling People especially one who had just recently passed And that's when a lot of the activity came a lot of the banging and a lot of the orbs and a lot of the bullshit

But then it was in the hallway I'll show you a fucking video. There's a fucking person in the reflection of a picture That's moving in the thing. Oh my god But I took a I took a picture Like I felt here's you can see kind of a shadow I'm gonna show it to you. You can see the shadow. Okay. So when I'm in bed now all of a sudden All of a sudden there's more things happening more, you know, like you just

You're like fucking god, I feel like fucking somebody's over there So now it started to happen on the right side of the where the bathroom's over there and I would go like this and I'm like, so I took a video of that right side of my bedroom And I didn't see any orbs or anything But in the picture not a mirror the picture I see this square And I go what the fuck is that and then I I pulled it open And it's a fucking green

face Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god, it's a green face It's a green face And I said I said the fuck this I said I hired this lady to come And fucking take them out and she did how was she um, would you say he got the green guy?

She don't know. No, they know they know fucking. Yeah The green guy's gone the fucking dude hanging out The mist is gone. Yeah. There was some crazy. I have questions. Yeah now Did we did we do the cleansing in the hippie way or the catholic way? Um, I think No, I think they did it the hippie way with with the sage because that shit don't work You got a fucking But no, no, listen, I know they're on their way but but

Babe, but when you see that you're you're like, I don't give a fuck Yeah, you got the only reason I'm telling you this is because when I was younger my dad's boat had to be exercised Like they had my dad was agnostic. He didn't believe in shit But it turns out like they had like a haunted steering wheel in his ship So they there was a family of five living there and the priest had to exercise it and the next day the priest died Okay, wait, is this of a peacock? My dad like went through a depression He grew his beard out and he slept on the couch for like six months and he wouldn't speak to us for six months

What I'm saying is this shit is real No, I know I believe in this shit and it freaks me out and I want to make sure that not some like young hippie With some say I get it. I get it. Yeah, but they're for right now They're gone but but also fucking move bro, but also but also when you have things of other people Like I have things that belong to people who were were famous Part of their fucking spirit and their energy is with those things even things that are just collected from people that They you know, you see you a robe and you're like man that fucking robe was my dad Like I just he was to wear this robe and you have the robe you have part of his

Energy is his self in there. You know, you leave things. That's why you know when someone dies and you you know Everybody's sad and then they go look what he left and you look at something that belongs to him And you fucking just you're destroyed because that's them their essence is their essence. That's them. That's what they like That's what they did. Do you feel as though these people or these entities living there were they of the? Friendly variety You know in the beginning but then in the last six months. I call somebody Spirit and they fucking showed up. I'm telling you and and since that time it's been

It's been more like I'm like And then that that shit and the fucking orbs and the name words and the fucking mist in the hallway and the middle of the night You're just like this is fucking insane and I just I just had enough like, you know in the video I saw something that I that I didn't see before and when I saw that I Said this is this this is fucking way past anybody's fucking tolerance level like there's a there's a person in The reflection of this picture. That's wearing white. That's move. That's moving and I'm like that that fucking man That's it and I didn't want you could have been in your girlfriend or something. No No

No, no, it's a fucking thing and the thing is not a mirror. It's a picture. It's a picture like this is not this is not a Mirror it's a picture. So that fucking face leaning in like this. Yeah. Yeah, that's You know, they go, hey, George, that's a fable. Fuck. That's a fight. No, anybody sees that's gonna be that that's a fucking face Yeah, that's all face. So now you go, okay, but for whatever anybody believes In that house it's from the 20s and shit like, you know, so yeah, yeah, and it feels it feels different It feels different and settle but but of course, I'm sure it's gonna be a process But yeah, all that all of that shit that that you know, it's

And I live alone. It's a big fucking house and you hear these fucking noises man You're just like it's and out, you know, I went as a funny guy as a kid I was afraid of everything right in the dark and all that bullshit But you think as an adult I'm all six like all that's gone away everything that it and also for that kid that they like it when you start To believe in yourself and believe your your worth and believe that that regardless of You know, somebody, you know, hey listen Bukaki videos And then you go take a shower you're brand new again Fucking dry fucking crema

If you ever if you ever get to that that's gonna be a beautiful code by the way When you when you get to as long as you have a fucking life You have a chance to fucking change everything, right even there are 50 loads, you know Yeah, yeah, but you do have it so as long as like, you know kids that are depressed and also there's There's opportunity to be better when you're alive Yeah, it's over, but you know And so all the shit that I had as a kid is gone like all the things that scared me all of all the insecurities that I had Yeah, are are gone wishing people like a Buddhist, you know practice Buddhism, but

that came from like just seeing the science man of like there was a Buddhist temple in San Fernando and My grandmother would see him and it's the same time like Harry Christians Buddhist, you know, they don't want anything my grandma go He goes I said They want my son don't want any the Buddhist don't want anything she's like I everybody want something and You just hear that fucking voice every day and then I moved to Sherman Oaks It was a Buddhist temple of the corner How about a place in Hawaii it's a fucking top of the hill we get there to go get something to eat fucking Buddhist temple there

So in at the dark time of like the divorce and all that shit that you still have to go work and you go home Are you alone fucking brutal man taking some fucking vikings and I'm fucking four locals Listen, you don't need fucking bike anyway. You're drinking a four local those motherfuckers. Thank God. That'll make a baby Yeah, yeah, so people should they gave me some dessert for Christmas If you want to kill yourself there's wet, but you know what I didn't want to fucking go out like that You know and then I started to look at the principles of like not wishing anybody harm and you know of Trying to just be better and you know and it just and I when I met the Dalai Lama in Boston I fucking went over there and it shook my hand and we talked and

Spoke at his 80th birthday party like five years ago and stayed connected and it's changed. It's changed Everything about me man Like I don't trip off anything Wow, and I'm happy to be alive and even all that bullshit. That's that would that would be like it Yeah, there's a fucking Mexican stand in the middle of the street. I don't know y'all Sometimes I throw it open like I can handle that shit. Yeah, because I've I've already Seen fucking different variations of my life. That's why you can handle ghosts Yeah, and I understand them like I don't but I won't but I won't fucking call them anymore like don't call them Yeah, yeah, there's no come real quick

Um Because I know I remember when Brock, you know, I mean it was Inaugurated right you went. Yep. I Remember watching that going it was you there was like a bunch of guys, but like Sam Jackson My remember going wow, this is cool, right? What when you were flying there, right and you obviously you know him What's he like the greatest fucking do man, you know, we did a thing and he asked me we did a thing We did a thing in in New Mexico. So Chris Rock said

call me and he says Brock Boba asked him to call me because you know George Lopez, you know, I want to try to you know See if where he is politically affiliated. So I'm driving up and the phone rings this rock and he goes hey, um, I Don't know where you are politically, but Brock Obama called me once wants me to tell you, you know, are you with them or anyone's to call you? I said, all right, so he's gonna call me at like two o'clock watching the news. He's campaigning Senator Obama 150 he's leaving an event on CNN. You're watching so you go this one. I gotta call me at two o'clock He's fucking walking out to the cards. Yeah, he's leaving an event. Who's not gonna call me a fucking two o'clock two o'clock

Like a far ways I go alone because by the Lopez. Yeah, yeah, Barack Obama He says listen, I don't know where you are politically and I don't know what where you are But I'm coming to Los Angeles and I would love for you to help me Get the Latino vote and I said you think seven votes are gonna make that big a dip so so I Got on board with them early and I went to Texas and I went all these places Detroit did shit with them and they fucking booed me Wow booed me and he and I stayed consistent. I went to I got stuck at that

Wait, who would do when you would fucking people in Mexico's in in in Harla Jen Laredo Hidalgo, El Paso fucking people In Detroit, you know all over you fucking with Colorado, but I stayed with them and he knew that and you I stayed with wow and and This guy Higgin looper and the second term They get a I get a Saturday morning, you know, 830 the fucking facts under the bed fucking after a show You're like fuck who the fuck is this and it's a robo call they the White House called the people there They said you think George could do this robo call because Tuesday the election in Colorado and it's a seat that Can't go can't go red

So I look at it. I don't take a shower, you know fucking home or coffee and all this just so you look at it It's fucking awful. You go over there. Hey, it's a Jordan. Oh, it's awful. I call that girl. I go Hey, can I fucking just like that read the points, but don't do it like that. All right, and he wins fucking guy wins Because it was like that so that the Latino vote was gonna make the difference. It really did in his election. It does and He called me up Like the next two mornings, they're nine o'clock in the morning call me said thanks, you know When you I remember you said when you speak people listen, I thought I'm president man. Wow again doing that shit. So

You know It's something you don't imagine, but then you can't you also can't believe that it can't happen Yeah, so we should imagine it and we shouldn't limit ourselves and think that's only for other people not us like it's for us Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all that shit all the good shit in life is for us Wow, we don't have to and you don't have to feel guilty like you know what we're fucking white dudes All this fucking money they don't bother dudes other white dudes don't fucking apologize to fucking being wealthy Jeff Bezos doesn't say I'm sorry I'm so fucking rich. Yeah, but to us fucking sell out fucking punk motherfucker. You don't care about your community Yeah, fucking done more for the fucking community. How about the fact that I even exist on a show?

That hasn't been off the air every fucking day that your kids can see and that you saw and kids are growing up That's a positive fucking image of a family and every day You might not see it and you might not think about it, but I've been in your lives for almost 20 years Yeah, and to just disparage me that I fucking sell No, no, it means nothing, but I'm saying but I'm saying that You know you grow up afraid of everything and then realize there's nothing to be afraid of yeah To be fair if I did get a phone call from Barack Obama, I too could live alone in a haunted house by myself I

Yeah, that's a lesson. It's what what it was George. I mean just a tit just end it I mean what an incredible fucking journey for you, bro. I mean, it's been it's been crazy. Yeah, it's an amazing fucking thing and you know, um Like, you know, I've been trying to play the guitar since I was 15. I saw flowers when I was 15 on the corner of Nordov and Um, Tampa with where the Burger King is a question from the Black Angus in Northridge a Whole fucking night selling flowers like Christmas Eve I made a hundred bucks and I went to Castle's music in San Francisco. I was not there anymore and I bought a fucking copy of a guitar

And my fucking stupid ass. I didn't know a guitar. It could be tuned not every string had to be tight So there I am a fucking pendejo in the fucking back room turning it and popping strings Oh, because I think that's how you tune a guitar. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow. No, oh It's like putting an air your tire into the fucking pop. Yeah, yeah But the guys that I admire the guys that I admired growing up are all my friends and that's fucking beautiful You know guys, can you guys give George Lopez a fucking round of applause, bro? Oh, thank you so much, dude. And now you know what? I mean, I'm willing to do whatever you need You know me from me. I'm available. Just to let you know, you know, I mean, yeah, man

You need anything. So thank you so much, bro. Yeah, fucking amazing, dude. Oh my god What's up sleepers? We just released a new vlog on patreon from a top secret location George If you were gonna say one word to describe that secret location, what would you say without giving it away? Apocalyptic Guys, that's a good fn word to watch that blog. Hey, I don't want to get demonetized Hey, no yet to you to plus to watch that you enjoy all our premium content. You can head over to patreon.com slash Tiger belly. Let's thank our sponsors again. He likes Brooklyn and and

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Gilbert he didn't have to do the refund because it worked for him So once again, thanks to Helix Brooklyn and and Hems George if you want to like, you know Send a question for an helpful advice or ask anything else silly like send a video perhaps You might go to email us at adviceunhelpful at gmail.com and George People have been talking about your chiseled physique. What have you been doing lately? If you dead list with a hex bar X bar walking a dog Oh guys say no to dad bod check out George Kimmel com slash workouts George Kimmel com slash Workouts, but also the actual hyperlink for that is patreon.com slash tiger belly. We guys love we love you so much

Go to George underscore belly Instagram on Instagram and also clam to can Instagram Bob Lee live and Gilbids and check out OMG. Hi. Yeah over at the ATC YouTube channel George Lopez's new podcast And guess what? We know George could be producing that too. We don't know but check it out. Love you guys Hey prime members, you can listen to Tiger barely ad free on Amazon music download the Amazon music app today Or you can listen ad free with Wondry plus in Apple podcast before you go Tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry comm slash survey