TigerBelly - Ep 292: Trisha Paytas & The Matzo Ball Meet-Cute

Episode Date: April 14, 2021

Trisha wants to eat Bobby. Khalyla is turned on by Gargoyles. Bobby is Fatherly. We chat the Eminem music video, a Canters date, Del Taco Boba, and selling steaks out of a car.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad free on Wondery Plus. Can I show you my power play? Yeah Pretty good. What is it? It's a fucking muscle It's a don't say anything until I bring your name up. Oh Okay, I'm gonna introduce you okay, but sometimes the intro lasts like five minutes and then your jet. Oh, okay. Yeah. No, it doesn't last for a lot Okay, go All right enough I won't sing anymore, I promise okay, welcome to another is that fine turn it up a little bit. I can't hear myself

Oh, I lowered you welcome to another what? Yeah, no welcome to another perfect welcome to another episode of Tiger Belly Welcome welcome. We have Her attitude today. It's good, right? It's it's good and bad But I love her so much and she's my my foundation my sidekick. You know, I mean My best friend my lover Um Kalilah, we've got you. Yeah, give him a run of blood This Spanish fucking bastard right here give him a run of blood. Yes. Yeah, I have to say something before we introduce our guest I made a mistake this morning

So I woke up at like 6 30 in the morning and I go and I was obsessing about that breakfast burrito from Lucky's Lucky's lucky boy So I so I have this guy that I play war zone with Alex Don't tell me you had him drive to pass. No, no, I texted him. I go. Hey, you want to make some money? He goes, oh, no, I got to go to work. I'll give you whatever You know, I mean, I gotta go to work, right? So then I'm like, oh fuck who's gonna go to Pasadena to get me this breakfast burrito. So then I went to cofax Mm-hmm, right and I got delivered and I ate a chorizo breakfast bigger like this big and then I drank a coke

And some coffee and then went back to bed and I slept for like what four hours and my stomach started going Going crazy And so I might have to you know, I might have to take some breaks from how many times do you shit so far? 15 16 times. So I might have to take a couple of breaks right now. The dam is clogged I apologize for talking this way. I know that it doesn't give you sexual feelings when I talk about my you know I mean anal activity And that's what I call it Anal activity, but I apologize. Okay

Now we've been wanting this guest for about a year. I don't know why it didn't happen She's busy. She's probably Hollywood or whatever whatever or whatnot. Yeah, you know how people get Hollywood whatever or whatnot, right? Movie, you know, yeah, you know, she's she lives the glam life. You know what I mean? She lives a good life and I'm gonna defend her because she don't make that face. I'm gonna defend her because she can't talk She actually agreed to do this on a week notice almost two week notice So we didn't ask so no one asked her before this Mm-hmm. No, she was on a list though. She was on our list long time. She's on our list forever He's not here. He's not okay. This fucker, right?

The list that we make they need to be going out, bro All right, because now I'm I look like a fool, bro All right, Trisha Pate us I can talk now I'm so scared. Okay. Um, don't be scared. No, no one asked me to be on the podcast I feel like that's a lie because like I never asked me on podcast, especially comedian podcast Like I'm not in your guys's group. So like you guys don't really have like youtubers and shit on here So I was like really excited. Well, well, I think we are in your group

I'll tell you why I tell me because there's the Ethan connection Right, right, right. Right. That's his name, right? Ethan Ethan and Hila. Hila. Hila. We love them so much from HH HH is the best and it's our favorite. Oh, that was like my in was like because now I'm on with Ethan. I love it I'll tell you I need a connection. No, they're probably all there. Yeah, there's all that I'll tell you another thing that you and I This one's a good one. You and I have never met before. We met we've never met, right? Um, yeah, we met. I worked a couple times. It was good to see you again Good to see you again. But you and I have cross paths in a weird way

We did the same project together, but we never worked on the same day or whatever and I'll tell you what it was What if she can you guess what it is? Can she guess? Yeah, it's a music video. Oh, oh Um The M&M one, but we were there on the same day. I met you. We talked We totally shot the same day We weren't in the same scene, but we were you were totally on there on the same day Don't bump up me man Don't bump up me, right?

I tried to I tried to ask the right questions before we started We were like, hey, I'm pretty sure you met on the same day. You're like, nope. I've never met her. You fucking asshole So awkward I've met so many people especially comedians that they don't remember me Like I used to work at like laugh factory comedies to all these places I'm like no one ever remembers me. So it's always like and I don't like say like, oh, you don't remember me But like yeah, they don't remember me at all But what did you do at um laugh factory and comedies? Um, I was I

I waited tables and then I also was like an assistant to a bunch of like deep like literally exilis comedians like no one on tv I mean literally you would not hear but there was a guy named That would always like go to the laugh factory and like host shows. His name was like no, I know Okay, well He used to sell meat out of his car. Do you know that I was his assistant then Oh, what were you used when he was selling steaks out of the car? And he had a Hummer and yeah, like and he paid me like six dollars an hour

But I had to be on like beck and call and it would go to the laugh factory like and we would have to like Get people's information. It was really weird. So did he ever hit on you? Uh, yeah Yeah, he still does I see him sometimes Yeah, yeah, um, no, but yeah, he's a sexual. He's a sexual guy. Is he I don't really I don't know I've never sucked his dick, but when I'm saying I you know, I'll tell you who I would never suck his dick I'll tell you who he's on. He's he hit on me when he knew we were together Really, what did he do though? What was the come on? I think he was on facebook like hey want to meet at the comedy store

I was like, oh, you want a tomahawk steak? I'm on my way there to see my boyfriend perform and even after that he sat next to me in the booth Yeah, I like he has this section even when he looks because he has a little bit of a cross-eye, right? There's like fucking going on like his two eyes are fucking. Oh, no each other. They're like looking at each other like having sex Yeah, but um, I think he's a very funny guy. You do. He's a funny guy. No, I mean he's not you can just Hey Listen, I've seen him kill before you have He used to go on stage and just like go through people's purses like that was his like shtick is just like going through ladies

All right He was like Yeah, he was he was kind of the worst bomb, but did he have let me ask you this though. Do they have great steaks? Uh, no, they failed No shade or anything, but like yeah, he I saw him a few years later and like literally he he was like I'm only saying this because he was an asshole to me towards the end He fired me because I went on to like this reality tv show So he like ended up being an asshole

But like I saw him a couple years later and he was living in apartment with like two roommate girls or whatever like that But I remember him shitting at me so hard because at 18 he told me like I couldn't afford a nicer car than a Volkswagen Beetle while he was like renting a Hummer and then I saw him in like a Honda Civic and I was like, oh my god karma like it was And I'm sorry, I'm really bitter This is the wrong pack has to be on because I'm so bitter turned a lot of like stand-ups because stand-ups are like It's the right podcast to be You know, I was like but and I will say though. You're like the only Comic I met like stand-up because I only met you

Like personally at the M&M shoot and you like never were creepy or weird toward the girls because it was all girls on that set And you weren't like, I mean at least to me. I don't know you were just like I listen listen. I don't give Of creepy vibes, right? Not at all. It's the opposite like I'm so like fatherly teddy bear. Yeah, fatherly. You know me fatherly That's creepy Go go with teddy bear. What? Oh, let's like let's I'll drive you to the softball game Fatherly fatherly, you know, I mean, I'll coach you. I mean, we're not even blood related But coach your teeth. You know, I mean focus on the ball. You know, I mean do the upswing I don't know how softball works, but you know, I mean do the upswing you know, I mean

So it's like you're the opposite. You're actually like very almost almost standoffish Like, you know how when people like post photos and they post like this so they don't even like get near girls That's how you were you were very like almost standoffish not cold not mean but just like not at all like I'm gonna drive you to a baseball game It was more like You were very like just nice to me. Yeah, that was it Maybe it's this though. I'm trying to analyze it. Maybe it's because I don't think and I've always been kind of um I always viewed myself as an incel Oh, no, you're not an incel because you're not mean to women. No, no, no, but like right, right?

But I had incel vibe. No, you were just a vergy. I just couldn't get Pussy, but that's not an incel. Oh So somebody I saw a guy who wants pussy who's fatherly who's father? Yeah, we'll drive you to the softball game, right? Yeah, but also can't get it. It's not an incel. No, that's just a loser Yeah And that's Andreas I for all these years. I thought I was an insult. I'm a fucking loser Thank you. Fuck in a I think um what it is is I When I look at I've never had that thing

Because I think my mom was so strong And my dad was the violent one and my mom was always the strong one You know what I mean? And she was the only one that was in the in my life She would drive me to the wrestling meets. She would like, you know, she would go to meet Court cases when I had that accident and just different things, right? She was there in my life and she was you know, You know, my mom. She's very vocal and strong. So there's a there's some strength there And so that like when I look at women, I'm more I view them as like even female comics That's why I'm friends with somebody female comics is because

I've always found them to be funny and I'm not threatened by them at all in any kind of way I I really do view women as equals Do you believe that or no? No, I do and that's why you take a lot of like female comics You're one of the few male comics that all female comics love. I'm a loser Because you're non-threatening too. I'm not threatening. So I apologize. I should have been a fucking creep Right, but I should I should have been I should have been more nice to you. Is that? No, no, no, no, no, I think you were like perfect. You were like is like m&m. You know, he's very like professional He's not like overtly like, you know warm, but also not cold. He was very much like

I love him by the way. He's a really nice guy. He's like the nicest celebrity. I think I've ever met like that was Yeah, because he you because he's like, you know, he there was so many people there that day Yeah, and I remember him coming up to me goes amen. Thank you so much for doing this and I remember going Oh, thanks. I'm gonna be goes call me marshal And then he goes my son's a fan of yours Right, so I'm like he came out of nowhere to do that and I never really talked to him But my point is is that you know me when somebody does that he doesn't have to do that Yeah, is he nice to you? He was so nice

I was casted as like an obese Jessica Simpson because at the time she was like fat So they wanted like a fat So the director Joseph Kahn was very much like grab her fat grab her belly and I was like 19 at the time So I was like a little self-conscious and he was so nice like in between takes like just so you know Like you look better than the real Jessica. Like you're so beautiful because I was so oh, yeah, there I am And what was the director's name? Joseph Kahn Is he Korean?

He's Asian though. He's Asian. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's the guy I met at the Like that's how I got it. I was at a Korean barbecue. Joseph Kahn his name. Yeah. So I was at a Korean I was at Sukbul jeep. Yeah. Oh, there you are. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there I am I was at Sukbul jeep. There's um, dr. Drain there back there I was at Sukbul jeep and I was eating right with my brother Yeah, and this Asian dude comes up and he goes hey, dude. What's up? And I go I'm eating And he goes I'm a music director music video

I go whatever right and I don't know what it is. I he just exchanged numbers. He calls me a week later. He goes Come on down. We got Eminem everybody And I fucking drive down there, right and all of a sudden I'm in this thing. Yeah That's why like when fucking Burt Chrysler and not for Chrysler. Tom Segura and everyone's moving To Texas, you know, I know burn and all those guys moved up Nashville. What do you think about that whole texas exodus? Um, I don't know about this. I'm sorry. What is happening? Everyone's like basically like all like, um, I I'd say maybe like a quarter or maybe to half of the la comedy scene

It's like moving to Austin. Oh I think it's great because most of them are like assholes like honestly. I have such Bad taste from comedians. They're all around like even recently There's like a comedian that's suing me because I had an opinion on him and I was like, you can't Who is it? We'll bleep it. Okay, you can bleep it Oh, and I know firsthand what a creepy is and I was I gave him my lawyer's information. I'm like, here's my lawyer's information

Like I'm not saying anything. That's not true And then like my lawyer charged me all this money to like accept a complaint and I think they didn't think I'd go through with it But I'm like, I'm rich now. I got money like come for me Oh my yeah So in general, I just had bad taste in my mouth for like comics But like I didn't know they're moving to Texas and honestly like good or it ends because like So it doesn't go with 2021 like the stand-up comics in LA the like ones that you know Like the ones that have been through it like Jamie Kennedy, Harlan Williams like go, you know, your time's over

I don't know if they're moving to Texas anyone else But see like Gen Z like pushing them out like those that kind of mentality with like the me too Like Louis CK and stuff like they finally because I knew about him like jerking off girls' faces for a long time And finally it's being called out and now like Gen Z is like, okay, these people were like done with you You know what I mean? Even like who was like hot and popping everyone's like, oh my god He's so funny like everyone's like, you know and rightfully so because he had a thing with my sister That was super inappropriate when she was 18. So I was like, you know like yeah, yeah, and I'm glad people are calling it out It's just stand-ups. I don't know what it is about stand-ups. I think I don't know if it's like a complex because they're like insecure

I don't know what it is. But like stand-ups are like literally the worst. I don't know why did it You know, okay, let me just ask. I don't want to let's not I want to just get in a very healthy female. This is great should get into um Just a round table with a lot of Female comics and they would a hundred percent back you up. I'm sweating inside my face. Is that even possible? The amount of people let me ask you something. I'm sweating inside my face. Okay, so let me ask you this Okay, do you think and I'm not I'm not having an argument with you. I just want to ask you No, yeah, I love I love you. You're like me. You have no filter. I love it. Okay, so do you think that um

Some of these trans get transgressions by these male comics, right? Do you think that that's enough to ruin one's career though forever or their their ability to make money? It's again, it depends on the severity like someone being a creep to me or something like that Like does you don't deserve to be canceled whatever but if you if it's a if you like You know are Forcing yourself on a girl. Yes, you should. Yeah, and if you come on the girl's face, probably. Yeah, but will it happen? Like Louis CK will still be like around selling tickets, you know people still like, you know, even Woody Allen Like we just watched I see we did do I loved him for so long even up until like literally

Watching the documentary. I loved Woody Allen. It's like whatever. Who cares but now like watching it. I'm like, okay, maybe But like people just support so would you watch another like because for me it's like I you know I have like a catalog, right? You know how itunes when you buy movies you have that library We literally had an Allen portrait that we had to kind of take down You know, I love I love crimes of misdemeanors. That's a great movie. I love husbands and wives even the mid You know, I mean the early stuff, you know, I mean and so when I'm asking you because you're about Woody Allen fan Yeah, if you're watching tv and you see Annie Hall or any a movie come up Would you watch it? No, no, you can't like because that's just like supporting right even if it's like free or whatever

You just can't because that's like bad energy in you too You're like so you're watching this like person and like supporting it and be like I'm a fan or whatever I don't know. I think it's bad energy I think people should get like cancelled like if it's like deserving to be but I was friends with problematic people A lot of my youtube friends got cancelled last year too and it's like really hard And I stopped becoming friends with some of them because you're just like, I don't know if I can like support this person You know to me friend Shane Dawson for instance got cancelled last year. Do you guys know him? He got cancelled for like

Inappropriate jokes about winers and like that's like so gross and stuff like that But I was like so loyal right because I was like, this is my friend It's like your family like you're gonna stand by him, but then like after a while You're like, oh, I just don't know like if you can stand by this person. I don't know I don't know how to like it's such a slippery thing like if your family do you turn your back on him? I don't know I did on a couple people because there's a certain things. I'm just like that's too gross. I can't I don't know It's so hard

What about um, you know the oh boy. Let me ask you a question. Oh boy. You're sweating dude. I'm sweating inside my face I can't What about if it was a trans transgression that we see as a transgression now, but wasn't back then And so the pendulum has swung let's say for instance somebody did it 15 years ago That was part of the culture Is that something that we still ought to cancel to cancel them for even though they aren't doing that today? Yeah, I think that if they've grown for real, you know, I think yeah, like because obviously I've had like Poor taste jokes like back in the day because you know, I thought they were funny or whatever like that

So I think yeah, if you're doing them currently because a lot of people saw during then I think you should be cancelled You're not like learning but like like do you think that the rolling stones or some of these, you know Bands that toured back in the late 60s early 70s who obviously right Hooked up with underage women right on the right Thousands of times, right? Who's the guy that's saying wow great bills of fire? Jerry lee louis he married married his his 14 year old That's not jerry lee louis jerry lee louis. No, it's not look it up. It is jerry lee louis jerry lee louis

And I told you 10 points for you. I thank you so much captain So jerry lee louis, right? He married his 14 year old cousin, right? Could could that happen now? Who knows? I mean, I'm telling you right now if you'd get cancelled. You would get cancelled immediately Okay, right, but he was able to have a career. So the culture shifted good music, you know, it's like, um Come on Trish. She's like a rainbow. I think I think listen guys. All right. Let's let's try to be You know, I mean let's take the humor out of it. Yeah, and let's be adults about this. Okay We obviously the pendulum has swung one way all the way over, right? We needed to bring it back

Toward the center Okay, because I just think that um It's like the Salem witch trial No, you should never equate it to that and your therapist yelled at you for even using that reference because the Salem witch trial literally was Targeted at women. So like that's I forget. Well, give me another try, but they were witches. Yeah, give me another trial Anyone give me another trial? OJ

Come on of the show. I think like sometimes talking about it It just helped so many other people because I recently had an issue with this vlogger named David Dobrik, right? And I shared my story. Yeah, and I've been sharing it for years And now all of a sudden since I've been talking and talking talking now other people feel like comfortable to come out There are stories and there was people way worse than me The little girl got I mean you can believe that she got like raped by like they give him alcohol to have sex with Dom Like and it's under the insider like it was a thing It was like proven to more people are like sharing this or a guy that was like sexually assaulted by them

Like getting kissed by a guy that he didn't consent to so like people telling their stories So like that's why I just kept telling my stories and say these people's names over and over because if someone else has a Similar story, I think it's important to like hold them accountable and yes, like people come back from these things So it's not like I'm trying to cancel them. I just think it's like don't keep doing this to people You know what I mean? Because it's like happened to me so many times. I got like roofied by so many comics at like Factory like all those places like that, you know what I mean? And I think it's just like you just gotta like talk about it more You know, I don't know I just like I don't know

But then I get people are like scared or they don't want to bring up drama and I get that too But I don't know I just Well, you know what here's what I really love about you Trish Is that like all those things that happen to you by these disgusting men? Yeah, would really kind of keep a woman down would at this point I mean, I'd be so broken and so afraid to even open my mouth The fact that you're just letting it fly is honestly the best thing to hear

Well, thanks a lot of people Like crazy or they call it drama. They're like Trisha's so drama. She has like beef with everybody It's like it's not beef. It's just like I finally can talk about it because I consider myself blacklisted from everything Like I'm surprised I'm even on this podcast so Are we gonna get canceled for you? Honestly, people get really heated like I don't know with like my new podcast people have been liking me But like people have hated me for a long time. You're a fucking genius on friends. Oh, thank you. I love I love frenemies That's fun. I don't know if that one's a cool one. I think it's because Ethan because he's like really funny

I like like funny people, but you're a part of that family, right? Um, yeah, yeah, I just got engaged to his brother-in-law. So you're related. Isn't that great? That's so the guy that just dropped you off. Yeah, that's illa's brother. That's illa's brother from Israel. Yeah Oh, wow. He has a long face like she does. Yeah Yeah, I just thought like this like, you know, I mean, they're both very model-esque like the scream mask Very like high fashion model. Oh, is it? Yeah I thought illa was gorgeous. So like when I first started hooking up with Moses I was just like you remind me so much of your sister. I thought it was so hot

How did that work out? Were you guys friends already and then you went on the podcast or was it after h3? After going on h3, I was doing the bachelorette I love for h3 and they were trying to find me a boyfriend and I did they found like the worst people ever and then like The quarantine hit and then me and her brother just DM'd each other and just That we like moved in quick and then we just bought a house together and got engaged. So it was just like really fast There's a pandemic around me. I really haven't been out in the real world together and then you um converted to Judaism Well, no, I haven't done that. I saw the video is why I love Oh, I love Jewish culture. I like I like why I love culture in general

I just want to be every culture about my own but like I love Jewish culture and so I want to but it's really really hard to Convert like you have to have so much like dedication and discipline and I have a zero of that Yeah, I watched that episode of sex in the city when what's her name was trying to like convert and they kept like pushing her away Yeah, no, they like refuse especially with women. They're they're a little misogynistic in the Jewish like culture but I love everything else surrounding it like the food the religion the ideals there is a um Um, you have you speak freely No, just let me finish what I'm saying. It's a compliment. Okay, you speak freely and I'm almost envious of it You there's people that are actually good people

Like they're not you know, but the ones that we I'm talking about and putting them in blast They like I've never I talked about meeting you like in videos as like a nice thing But everyone else like it has been an awful person. I only talk about people if they're truly awful Like there's like shitty people or cold people or whatever and I never talk about them But if you're like disgusting and you like, you know, like jizz on my face without my consent How many times has this happened? Wait, wait, wait, wait, so let me just let's go back to that. Okay. So basically what you're saying is this, right? Let's say I'm not dating her. Yeah. And you and I are doing it, right?

And we're doing missionary style, right? Let's just go back to I don't know how this works Keep in mind and I'm locking eyes with you. We'll set up the story how you guys met I want to hear the back side. All right. So you and I all right. So I was at Cantor's I'm fair fact. Yeah, Jewish And I'm sitting there because in Cantor's they have these like single not single boost but like a seat for two Right, and then there's a four top, right? Okay. So I'm singing sick for two What are you eating? What I'm eating a matzo ball soup and in back of me

There's another seat for two back of me and I hear Right and she's just she's like you threw a straw sucking in matzo ball Oh Like it's a boba like it's a boba. Oh, that's her boba. That's her white boba. I love boba And she's I can hear her do nine Gigantic balls of matzo's in a row, right? And I have to confront her Right and I want to I turn around I go slow down Right doesn't eat all the matzo balls in Cantor's then your eyes lock. All right, and then I go

Oh, hello, right my bad. That's your meat. Cute. Yeah, and then you're like, it's very Woody Allen. Yeah I feel like you would say something racial at that point or no, uh, what year is it? Actually, this is good. Let's try two different years 1986. Okay. Yeah problem. How are you? I'm 32 In 1986 or something. Oh I wasn't born I was negative too. I'll be you creep Wow Wow

I'm canceled for sure Um, so it's 19. Uh, it's 2000 and wait 2009. How old are you in 2009? I am 21. Okay, perfect 2009 right enters. All right. So then we lock guys. So it's 2009. Would you say something racial? Um, I think back then I yeah, yeah, yeah, like what would you say something probably light like Maybe do an accent I don't know. No, I don't She's looking at all of us. Like would you do an accent? Come on. Would you do an accent? Hot all no, I wouldn't do an accent. All right. Yeah. Yeah. I used to like

Oh, you would say something like, you know what I mean? Well, I I I slurped it with my straw. Do you use chopsticks? Yeah, no, I wouldn't say that. You know what I used to say to like Asian guys that I was trying to like, you know, hit on I would always just be like, oh like what Asian are you? I was so embarrassed. You know what? That's actually not racist at all. That's the opposite because it's like some a lot of white people just say Asian Asian like they don't try to differentiate us at all. Are you Asian? Yeah, I'm Filipino I mean, I that sounds I wow I know I know Are you like are you like what is it hoppa? Is it like half hoppa? Yeah, but I grew up there

I I grew up there for uh until I was 15 Oh, let's go back to Cantor's You're hating on him. You asked what type of Asian Korean Oh, and then I would say I can count to five in Korean. And then I would say do it. Hannah dual set net Awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I would say, uh dose up. I don't know what that next one I can do it. That's fine. I can do it. And I said, oh, wow. Did you learn that from take one dose? You did You did. Yeah, that's how they know that's how they learn. You know what I mean?

But that was my that's how I got with a lot of Korean guys was that way They thought that was so cute that I like knew about well, you've hooked up with Korean guys before Um, yeah, I don't want to call it a phase, but like I go through phases I have like because I don't have a culture of my own so I definitely go through like but yeah All right. So you had you went through a Korean phase, right? So then we exchange numbers, right? And then I call you, right? and then we go to um You know what we go to we go to the chinese man Right, do you watch a movie theater again? Yeah. Yeah, and we watch. Um, you know what we watch what the second independence day

Oh, that's No, the second one is Not a good one. I know but still I think it came out by then 2009 I think actually no, it wasn't that long ago. It came out. It came out lonely. Let me know when the second eight years ago Here are the top movies for 2009 if you'd like to choose. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you Thank you. Here's a top 10 So no no no no no Oh, I know what we watch star trek. There you go the new one. We go see the new star trek, right? Yes, and then so

Then what I do is I hold hands with you Uh-huh, right? You're gonna hear a lot of star trek and then what nerdy and so that you said that you hold hands with me and all of a sudden right You you feel like moisture in your eyes from Why is it Because cum is moist It would be like more of a scar

Watery I have very watery cum. I have watery cum. It is like dude, right? It's like very watery. There's no substance to it. It's not aggressive. All right. So now She's so bad. Here's what I want to know how they do it So we go to my place, right? We're having missionary sex, right? Because I want to know when you say, you know, people do it in your face without asking Yeah, so and then I'm about to cum. Yeah, right and do guys just pull it out without asking and just do it in your I know you're asking in my situation. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm always refeed. I'm always they've always like drugged me That's even worse. You're passed out, right? You don't know what's going on. They even wipe off. I mean, is that

My you don't know you know when you wake up when you've had like conjunctivitis or like pink eye And it's just it takes forever to just peel your eyes open because it pressed A thousand percent pink eye swear like hand to God that's happened twice. I got a pink eye from that Well, wait, so, you know, you know the guys that have roofied you and come in your eyes. Yeah, mm-hmm. Have you pressed charges? Yes, I feel bad. Okay. I feel really bad That that's happened to you that you've been roofied. Yeah, that's horrible Obviously, we don't know that I don't want to know the names but these guys obviously are people that we everyone would know Everyone would know. Yeah. Wow. So that's crazy. Yeah

Yeah, sad and I'm so sorry for me. Here's my here's my opinion. Okay is um For me, it's like um a guy like myself, you know, you get kind of a name in the business and you work, right? And then, you know, I I'll be honest with you. Um, You know before I did comedy and stuff at that I had a difficult time meeting women, right? And now I'm in a place right in my life where you know Women that were way above my level, right are wanting to hang out with me, right? I that to me is enough I just wanted to be I just wanted to play the game

Right put me in the game. Well, that's always my confusion. It's like you already have it all Why do you have to go through lengths to then? Roofie somebody like you have it all what I never understood. It's like, you know, some of these guy Male guys that I know that were married with they're married to Beautiful women. Yeah, like women that like oh, I would die for that catches, you know, I mean like the top Tens Right and then for some reason or another It's not enough, you know, it's like, you know, um

Online people when we first started dating Guys were like She's only with you for this or you know, I mean, she's way above your you know, I mean and I go little did they know I've always been into gargoyles. I love I have I love fat boys What in BMX bikes? That was my type in high school and I've always liked I mean, you know what I mean? Underrated and there was my favorite statue creatures on fucking. That's not true

There was a Nintendo game called gargoyles and they were so cute in that game and I just you've always no one's ever seen a Building go. Oh, that's cute. Oh Bobby. Yeah, look at that. That's what you're saying Look at that one. Well, look at this right here. This I mean, come on. Yeah Well, that one's ripped This is how non-sexual it is. They don't even show the penises. I'm sorry I've never seen a gargoyle. Oh, look at that penis. They hide it because it's so ugly All right, forget it, babe. Yeah, that's what you think

I'm letting you know now that this all of this you're showing me is porn. Like I Oh, okay Turn it off. It's fucking gargoyles. Is he your normal type like Bobby's like your traditional I've date. I'm like you I I just I'll I like them all. Yeah. Catch you when I'm ovulating. I will like them all Have you have babies? Do you have babies? We don't have babies, but we've killed two. Wait, really? Yeah, I've had two. They're a 14. Oh Oh god, I got it. Okay. Oh my god. I thought you think we like we literally killed a baby. You're seven I was trying to like grab that. We're still doing we're out. Oh, you don't want kids. You're over it

Yeah, I'm not at that time. I didn't he wants kids now, but I I'm not if you guys had a baby I'd love to adopt him Because I feel like it'd be really cute and talented. I can't have baby. I'm like infertile basically So I want to adopt your infertile. Yeah, I've been trying to have kids for like years like literally so long It's because I had chlamydia twice and I got like my tubes all scarred up It's like fucked up in there. And so I want to adopt a baby. It's chlamydia. Huh? It's an STD Have you had it? I'm pretty sure you've had it. It's a french restaurant No, you guys were good with babies because they'd be like really pretty and really talented

Like it'd be funny. It'd be beautiful. Like yeah, like you should have babies Do you feel some type of way if when you hear someone like me saying like oh, I have had like two abortions No, not really. I don't judge like that thing because like I totally get it like, you know That kind of stuff. It's like you should have a baby. You don't want a baby, but at the same time I'd be like Oh, if you want to like sell me or baby, I would totally have it. I might be open to that Because like the first one pregnant the first time I got pregnant. We'd only been together like a month Oh, wow, and I was like not sure about him And because we hadn't really we weren't even official yet like as a couple we weren't facebook official

Who makes more money? He does at the time too. Yeah, I was a nurse then Oh, wow. Well, that means you have a good character because honestly, well, I don't hold her. You're younger older than me I'm 36. Oh my god. You're so young. I mean, I thought you were like way younger than me I thought you were like 26 or something like that like me at like 25 If I got pregnant by someone that was on tv whether they're rich or not because it doesn't always mean you're rich Like I've been with people out of my mad tv and they're like broke. You know what I mean? You know who they are I know you're not you're not the same. You're not the same. He's nice. He's nice. I already know who it is

Okay, yeah, I know and I'm gonna say the name. No, don't say and then we'll bleep it out. Andre's get ready, right? Wow, so let me ask you this. Um So So Trish what you were saying was if you had been gotten pregnant by either of those two men you would have kept it For sure If it was like in the like that was my goal when I came to la because I was like so broke for so long And I like just wanted to have a baby because I knew so Don't go like everybody

You're so honest. I love it. I fucked up because yeah his manager his This date always tells me he's like you are the dumbest To not have trapped his ass twice. Seriously. You had two opportunities to trap him. You didn't abby my manager said that Like you're so dumb. You would have been separate life that monthly paycheck. Like yeah, I fucked up Honestly, it's it is iconic like if someone gets pregnant by like a really rich person like iconic like good for you Like I honestly like woman like she's probably like live in large and like Kentucky or wherever she moved to And I think that's awesome. I really do think that's awesome because that's what I wanted to do and I couldn't achieve it Yeah, or like drake drake. Oh, yeah

Oh my god, he like like thick girls. I missed my chance with him too. I was like, yeah, you were you could have been it I know I know when I see that I was like the little baby. I was like, oh, that could have been my baby. He is cute Okay, that little blonde curly hair. You know how scary that is. I mean, that's why I think maybe that's why I'm you know I've always been in long-term relationships. Yeah, because I'm afraid of those fucking traps It's you should be and other people should be too. They're so stupid like when a hot chick is like going. Hey, you want to hang That would be it now. That's probably a fear. I think you've always been careful. You dated a lesbian for years. Really? He did. Oh my god. That's how safe he was. Yeah. Wow. Do you guys have sex? I needed a gay guy, so I'm totally good. I have to. I really am. Did you have sex with him?

He fucked me really weird and he hit me. Yeah. Oh, did she like sock you in the face? Like, I mean, he was the most abusive guy in the world. Really? Yeah, because he was closet. He was a closeted gay man And he kept I was his beard and then he wouldn't admit it to the world and we don't have to cut this out, but You've always sort of been with like boyish women, though Like, you know, what are you talking about? Like we I'm androgynous. I'm considered, you know, especially in my younger years I had like a boxier shape. I had muscles. Like you like girls. You either long chins or like muscles. Yeah Yeah, yeah, like Wonder Woman types like Matt like a little bit like I like long faces You love long. I love long faces. Oh, so that's a compliment then like long faces when he said earlier like the screen face

That's like hot to you. Yeah, that's hot to me because my face is so Circular. I think I've like I've said this before I think what I'm looking for is the opposite of that Yeah, that's her. That's her. Wow. That's his type. It's Jesus He looks like dude. That's what Jesus looks like Yeah, yeah Yeah, I mean, wow, look at that. I like the long face too because I have a round I'm round and chubby and he's tall and thin so I want our kids to be like see that's the one see We have you know what you and I in many ways are very similar

Really? Yeah, I think we're very similar. I think in terms of I wish that I could be Um, we're free, you know, then I want to be as free as you one day maybe but Like I said for the reasons before like I just want to try to you know Because I you know, I'm a part of the community But um, I want to be free like you and that's that's a good thing to me. I think you know, I don't know if that's true Because I get a lot of lawsuits Don't be free. Don't be free. I lose so much money. I also read somewhere you and I've I've done math

Yes, you've done math. Yes, one of the best drugs I don't know. That's my favorite. I like I'm not a meth head, but yeah, but it's a great drug But how long did you do meth for? Yeah, how were you like I did meth. Um, didn't you start when you were 11? You said yeah 12. Whoa. Yeah, so I did meth From 12 to 17. Oh, you did it young. It was my main Yeah, because it was the only thing that was around was so cheap And when I used to steal money from my dad's um safe

And you would always have like 100 bucks or whatever I would steal it and And it was a lady named Lucy that lived down the street from me and she lived in this fucking garbage house And she used to she had a meth lab and she had her babies She had babies and I remember going over there with my friend Ramon and sitting there on this filthy couch and um She was like bagging up rocks in meth and and then the babies were In the meth lab like around the pipes like crawling around the pipes and like playing with like, you know what I mean?

Some of the like meth labs explode And I just remember thinking to myself God what kind of life am I gonna live here? This is not a good beginning You know what I mean? I mean when you're at that age Doing that It just doesn't give you a lot of like optimism, you know Luckily, I got sober when I was young, you know what I mean, but um

So you what else drugs do you like? Uh, I mean I got into drugs later on in life Like I was pretty goody and then like I think I got into drugs like later on in life and um I think my like I was really hallucinogens Like I love like Molly and like the natural like mushrooms like I love that I don't really consider them drugs like it opens me up I feel but I don't do them anymore either. Um, and then a couple years ago I dated a guy who really got me like on some heroin shit and I love that because it made me skinny

Like I was like I lost so much weight. Yeah. Yeah, and um, I loved it And honestly at the time I kind of wanted to die. It's kind of dark, but like I kind of wanted to die So I was like whatever, you know my chances And I thought it would be like, you know, I idolized people like Anna Nicole and stuff So like that's like my that was always like my ideal ending was like oh die young and then I'll be even like super famous Because I just like the idea of like being famous, right? Yeah, and so I thought if I died of like a heroin overdose like that's iconic, right? But uh, it's not I don't do that stuff anymore. I don't think it's iconic

But uh, yeah, I had a couple overdoses and then I got in some like court troubles and then I was like, okay And you like get sober your life is just insane and you you also read written books. Uh, I mean like self-published I mean, I just like write them and like what was it? How do you be internet famous famous? Yeah, I think so. I don't even that's grammatically correct I think it's like how to get internet famous and everyone's like, that's not how like, yeah Well, give me let's say I was a young guy. Yeah, right. Give me some five things That I can do to become internet famous. So you're you're at canters. We're at canters. There's a young guy You're slipping, right? I turn around, right? Hey, I see you on YouTube. Can you give me some advice?

So give me some advice. Uh, I don't know if I have good advice anymore. I mean, I think like I don't think I wrote a book. I know a whole book. You wrote a fucking book. It was like 12 years ago. I was like 22 All right. I think at the time. I just was super problematic I was just like just be as offensive as possible. But like, of course now in 2021 I want to say that's my problem. So like my past I used to try and be like, I love towers turnerites I was like, I'm gonna be so like offensive. I'm gonna say vulgar shit and then like that comes to bite me So like I said, I was like, I'm a chump supporter and like at the time I like couldn't care less about politics But that comes to bite me in the ass now because I always I mean like the same reason like

I think what it was like when you were an old like did radio back then Like you always wanted to up the ante of like how shocky you could be So it was like he would take these like really benign stories in his life But he would add really really horrible details to it to just you know, it was like that was the point right to like It was like being as a shocking as possible like when you did opi and anthony all those Yeah, I remember opi once gave me like a bull dick Like an actual bull dick. Yeah, okay. Yeah, and he goes it was raw Right, and I'm like

I'm like When somebody pulls it out of a plastic like Ralph's bag, it's a white people. Yeah, it doesn't You know, imagine somebody's pulling. Look at this, right? Yeah, this big bull dick. He goes eat it Yeah, and I'm like, I would never eat it, but I ate it because you know, I mean, I'm like, I want to be shocking Right. Why did they give you the bull dick because you're Asian? I don't know. Oh, I don't like I'm sticking my tongue in the the hole of the penis. Yeah, okay, you know, I mean, and I remember going this is um What am I doing? I'm whoring myself To be shocking, you know, yeah, what?

No, I'm just like we even put you the tongue in the hole like in a dick hole. It was that big What do you mean bull? Dicks are massive. I don't hold bull dicks Hang on. You've never had lung shell. You've never had a woman. Let me actually say something right now You think that your dick is bigger than a bull dick? I'm saying my dick is smaller than a bull. I know, but have you having a what? Have you had that woman stick their tongue inside the hole? No, no, not all the way inside. Wait, is your penis hole just gaping? No, I'm just Not the whole tongue. I'm saying I'm thinking like this like fucking idiots. Listen. No, I'm thinking you're doing this the bull

Then like no, I'm gonna show you something. Okay. Hey that I'm gonna show you something. Don't cut your tongue I'm not gonna cut my tongue. Look your father is watching. Those are his ashes. I know. I know So careful what kind of all right, so All right, okay. It's the bull penis. Okay. It's perfect because this is a red bull and there's a bull Right, so let's oppose. Yeah, right. Obviously. Let's say there. That's a bull dick hole Wow. Yeah. All right Obviously, I can't stick my tongue all the way through it. Right. I'm not Houdini. That's the way you describe it All right. I know but but I would you'd flick

Oh, you place. I say you place Oh So a little bit of I know I heard a little bit of my tongue went through the hole, right? That's what I meant Got it. I'm not jamming my whole tongue. I thought you were like I'm horn myself out I wouldn't be doing this. I'd be in Vegas doing a show Yeah, you know what I mean? That would be like my closer Yeah, watch me, you know me stick my fucking tongue through a bull dick hole and the audience would be like applause

Right, right. You know, I would do it. It was come out of the sack part right sack part and And then and then the curtains closed and I get on a round, you know, you know, like Derek Derek Vilgaudio's one one man show. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's the opposite. Very But like anti philosophical Yeah, yeah, I anyway, right Forget about the bulldozer. I don't even know why now. I don't even know why fucker. You see even offensive I don't even know if that is that why did you get did you get canceled for it?

No, I didn't get canceled for it But I just remember doing things that were like, you know, I mean not in my character To do things or like I used to like, you know one time you tell bad stories Here's another tell untrue stories. Oh Embellished exaggeration. There's another thing that I did once that I Behavior that we might have to cut it out. So put this on your thing I never talked about this the whole podcast is edited out. It's two minutes long. I remember when so Ike Baron Holtz, you don't know him, but you know, Ike yeah

And you know Seth Meyers, right talk show. He has a brother. It's very talented. Josh Meyers So Ike and Ike was on that Josh and Ike were on that TV with me And they're Chicago boys, right? They're second city and they're just proper real You know what I mean decent Super talented improvisers, right professional and they get on the show and then we have to do Promotion so we were promoting on some radio show. We're in a green room And these proper boys, you know, they have shirt tucked in and they're just ready to do this thing

And there's a bathroom in the green room. I come out of the bathroom and I have a chess piece You know, I mean, I think was the king jammed in my asshole And I just kind of walk around I walk around the dressing room with this chess piece in my asshole just to get a laugh from the guys Right and I remember them sitting there, you know me like Just like sweating and just going What the fuck is he doing? You know what I mean?

Could they be it? Yeah, because I turn around I show him my asshole You're a bare ass In my ass, yeah, yeah, I'm completely naked Right and just for reference Yeah, yeah, so that so that's in my asshole Obviously the that the crosses in the whole part. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not gonna I'm not

You're not a crazy person Yeah, yeah, yeah that crazy person right and I used to do stuff like that, right Just to shock people or you know, I mean, but that's why I think Ike's never didn't invite me to his wedding because of a chess piece That's the reason why I don't think that he invited me to his wedding because I think I think I think his wife Thinks that I'm weird is a threat of nudity Yeah, or yeah that kind of behavior never do that So I now when I'm around people like

You know when I was I was on a sitcom a couple years ago called splitting up together Yeah, and one of my producers from mad tv scott was a producer on this right? And I walked her to him at the table because I hadn't seen him right I pulled him aside and I go I want to let you know I don't do that stuff anymore. Yeah, and he goes. I know I know I go I don't stick stuff on my ball. I'm not that I'm like professional, right? I show up on time, right? I know my lines. I don't bother nobody Right, but because before when I was young I used to do crazy things like that, right? And what's what's so funny? It's just the idea you tell me he's like dude. Okay, relax

It's the president of Warner Bros. Sitting there Everyone's sitting there, right like all these executives and I'm pulling him aside. I don't stick Jeff's pieces He's like I didn't ask dude. Yeah, I know you don't want anymore because you're on a network show I know but I just remember I just don't do it So it's like, you know, maybe stop bringing it up and then people It is bobby Lee come up to you and talk about this chess piece That's why I've never this the first time you ever heard of this before is the first I've heard you do like worst things like, you know, farting people's yogurts and stuff

God my perception of you is completely changed now. I thought you were like this like sweet wholesome Like oh, whatever and now you're like, oh, I fart on people and stuff. That's like a lot That's a lot Because my perception of you was very like, oh, he's very just like I do my work I go home like you're not a party guy Like you just told me a scandal about you But now I'm like there's a ton of scandal about you that I never Yeah, well, I mean the christa flanigan thing

Right because it's like, um Now thinking back it that is wrong Look is wrong with you. It's wrong to be wrong. That's good. Yeah, maybe like apologize. No, I did I apologize. Oh my god. Those are friends. Yeah, we're great friends. If you were on drugs I think it's a little bit more forgiving I mean, it's up to her to accept your apology not me But I'm just saying like I think if you're on drugs and explain it, I think she'll be like, okay But I don't obviously, you know, I've worked in the last, you know

10 years I've done so many things And you know, and I I'm a professional. I don't I shake hands. I bow. I don't care. Yeah, I'll do whatever I'll go, you know, 100% net, you know, I mean, I'll do the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah, and I'll you know, I'm very Cordial and professional and I don't do nothing bad. Trish. Did you really do taekwondo? I did. Yeah, uh-huh Well, how far did you go? I went all the way. There's like pictures of me with like my black belt and stuff like that Oh, I wasn't you're a black really master young young men you was his name to macula california The place was called I can't remember the place but it was to macula if you look it up and you look up that guy's name. It'll be there

Yeah, wow So, um, did you compete? I did in the summer so my dad put me in taekwondo because he like I don't know He like want to be a bigger boy or something like that So I was I was doing Just trying to keep me from being like literally slutty because I used to just try and like fuck everybody when I was a Teenager, so my dad put me in taekwondo because I was supposed to be like disciplined or whatever And I had like really bad anger issues when I was a kid like I still like

Did up until like a couple years ago. I like got therapy for it or whatever But I had really bad anger issues So you got to like break boards and stuff and I competed and I was pretty good because I like do dance and stuff like that So I like remembered the katas like, you know, because they're very dance and very that stuff So, um, yeah, I competed. I did pretty good. I have some like trophies and stuff. Wow So which like could you still like? Use some of the things you've learned in a situation now or no Yeah, for sure. Like one of the things in taekwondo, I don't know if it's all places

But they teach you that self-defense with like a knife right they come up to the knife and you take their arm Like twist or whatever. So I feel like I feel like it's helped me because like, you know, I used to escort So I used to escort for like six years and like I got into so many bad situations. Well, let's escorting. Huh? Keeping someone company for money Oh, you used to do that. Yes. Yes, babe. Oh, yeah. Yeah Well, I don't know. Maybe she was a limo driver. I don't know That's so sweet. How sweet. Yeah. Yeah. I want to talk about that then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we can talk about that

You want to talk about that or no? I don't care. Oh, yeah, but what do you so? Let's say I'm a woman. Yeah, right escorting really scary at times You know, I loved it because I was also on a bunch of drugs But I like but I stopped when the whole like charlie sheen thing came out right when he came out with a Then I was just like Let me just exit real quick because I thought for sure like I I My mom like called me crying. She's like, I just I don't know I think you like you should go get tested because I got a bunch of shit from escorting

And so like that was like the one thing and then when I got really scared when that came out And I was kind of like, you know, let me just like chill But when you escort you would you still let me if you hook up with it You would still protect yourself. No, I'm not one person use a condom with me ever and I probably slept with probably 300 guys Like never use the condom Yeah, it's crazy. Wait, so Why couldn't you though? What fatherly he's been father. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm asking you is like, why can't you go listen?

I know I'm escorting hot whatever right, but you're gonna wear a condom Well for the record, I was not a hot escort. I was like the ugly escort for sure I was not I had like lopsided boobs because I have a boob job now But my boobs were so uneven when I asked where and that's what to your point I would go with like the hottest guys that had like a really like look at I wasn't him because he's before my time like Hugh Grant with divine brown, right? He was dating Elizabeth Hurley. Like it was like that situation with me

Like I would I would like hook up with like these like hot ass guys and they had hot ass girlfriends And I was like, why are you okay? I like lopsided tits like I had a gut like it was so It was so odd. He's insane. It's a power thing. You know what I think it is He's crazy. You're crazy. I love you. I love you so much. Yeah. Yeah, you're amazing. You belong on this show I love it. Yeah, there's a freedom about you know, it's like Like what Pryor said the truth was that you're free. I mean, it they're just a freedom about her that is like so Infectious, you know infectious and I just I am jealous of you. One of our best friends She's been on this show multiple times is Asa Akira. Oh, I love her

Yeah, and so she is like the openness is just yeah. Yeah the same thing I did her a Pornhub show during quarantine. She did like a little live Q&A thing and I did it. I love her She said did you ever do you never did porn though? Yeah, you did Yeah, I made like a million dollars a month and only fans last year I made like wow six million and that last year alone in the quarantine. Good for you. Wow I got into porn at 32 like after I made money and I was like, all right, let's do it. I was like And in hardcore I did three sums. I like I was doing everything I was doing like Everything you can think of and I did it for a year and like made money and like yeah

I just wanted to do it. I was like one of those things So I was like might as well. I think people just already assumed that I did porn. So I was like, okay Let me just do porn and um, but what a great note. You did the right thing by like waiting. Yeah, right. Yeah And then because now I can do like I mean people still subscribe to my only I don't really post new content, but like all my old videos people buy and I still like make bank off of them So it's yeah, it's like really cool. I like I love doing porn. That was another thing I think like just once I did it. I was like, okay, it's out there You know what I mean? It's like kind of what you're saying like I think I've been canceled so many times

I just like bring up my own guilt kind of like what you said with the farting in the mouth Like if you say it No one can use it against you like it's not a skeleton in your closet anymore. Yeah talk about it So I think I pretty much talk about everything and I think everything's already been out there So I feel pretty safe. Wow, you know what you know all six years that you um escorted were in la That's scary to me. Yeah, but but but is but how do you like I wouldn't let's say I was single. Okay I'm single right and I'm going I would never do it But let's just say like I want to get into the escort world. You want to be an escort. No, I want to try to get one

Oh, oh, oh, I don't know you open the door. Bobby's the escort. Honestly, I think he would make a great Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Oh my god. You're so entertaining. I don't want to I'm not gay. You're a great company I'm not gay. You don't have to be you've had gay sex though, right? Yeah. Yes. You could do it for coin It's like if you've already done it for no coin when I was a kid, I did it Guy let's let it let it. Okay. So my I watched an episode of you talking about it. That's all right Let's go back. Let's go back to like now. Let's what do I do? Do I google it? Google? What how do I get an escort? Craigslist they used to have roses. Do you remember like 180 roses for a blowjob? And that was like 180 bucks or whatever. That's how I did it like the adult section in craigslist. It was everything

I like I I did a lot of but a lot of referrals. I worked in the strip club I worked at a really ghetto one in vans was called godfathers Wait, I know that one. Yeah, it's like all girls like they're all like literally hookers there for like five dollars Right, they're all and they're and yeah, they're like and they're brought over here from I think like Guatemala like Yeah, it's from Guatemala. So like all the like Tia's are like the bartenders and they're like pimpin the girls out and I was like I went there because I was like, okay. This is easy money. Like this girl will also pin me out or whatever, but then Um, then all of a sudden like like celebrities would go to that one because it was more low-key

It wasn't like the body shop or something. It was like a low-key one People will like know you there on sunset if you go to vans eyes like people aren't gonna know you That's the one where you get like people going in to try and get hookers or whatever So but also just like referral after a while like I just got like referred by like I had a girl that like helped me And I think her name I can't think of her name. It was on craigslist. She advertised as like something beauty I think it was like crystal beauties or something like that It was advertised there. So you just found it. Wow. I used to stand on the street

I used to like when I first started I was like on Santa Monica Boulevard like just out there when I first started like when I was like I mean, I wasn't 18, but I was like 17 So let me let me this is so uh, this is insane. So how do you call? Oh, how do you were you always hypersexual when you were younger or yeah, but how do you So I think that is why you know how do you become that? to a millionaire Uh, think about that voyage. Yeah, I got super lucky. I don't know. No, there's something about it's no It's more than that

Just by you being on here and talking the way you're talking and your ability to like, you know, I mean add information And to switch and and to like, you know, I mean you you know how to switch gears You know, I mean and you can think on your feet Right. So and to be on a podcast with Ethan Klein and it's like you have this ability you have this other talent Right, but then you also have this other side of you. That's like very fascinating But it's just incredible that you at the age of 17 were on Santa Monica Boulevard You know, I mean to go from there to now you're in your 30s and you're a millionaire Right is insane. Yeah, Trish. What are your parents?

What did your parents did your parents know that you were in escort then? um My mom did my mom because my mom my mom moved out here when I was like 21 to like help me out and stuff like that Because I was literally like going from my boyfriend's house to like living on the streets I lived with my dad at one point because like overdose when I was like 19. So I she like came out and helped me Yeah, so she came out 21 and I was like stripping but escorting and I think she kind of knew it But I was a more high profile at that point. So I was like, I loved it like I loved like I said I really loved famous people. I got over that like I'm like I used to be like I'm gonna end up someone famous

But then they cheat there's temptation all that stuff. So I was like, no, I'm not about that life And now I have like a normal like architect like I love him like that's the best relationship But um, I loved it because I thought oh these these famous guys like want me You know what I mean? He just felt so desirable and I was never like super cute I wasn't like the pretty girl or anything. So I thought like this is like what it was. I'd like loved it But yeah, I got scary. I had like a couple scary incidences and then I like stopped so Um, but yeah, maybe and my dad is like super Catholic. So he like knows but like he's more like trying to like save me and stuff Yeah, but are they proud of you now your parents? Um, my mom definitely

I think my dad still thinks because of the porn thing last year. I think he still thinks I do sex work So he's maybe not as like proud, but he's but you but do you talk you talk to him off? Yeah, we just have a bad relationship We didn't talk for like years like he left to California when I lived in Illinois You know what I mean? So we like it was like an abandonment thing from early on but um, but yeah, we talked now We're good. Do you think you and I will ever have beef? I don't think so. You're super like cool Which I'm like excited about because sometimes I do podcasts and I like have bad

Like I did like impulsive the logan fall one and like I had such bad vibes after that I was like, oh, I'm like, why did I go on there? And this is like You know what I mean? How can shit about you or what? Um, it was just like very like aggressive, you know what I mean? And sometimes I get a little nervous to come in but I don't know. I this was a good one You feel comfortable. You feel comfortable. But what I'm saying is is that what I don't want is you saying this right? Listen, you say this right now, right?

You just said that you're comfortable here, right? Right, and we're cool and we have a good rapport but like three months from now. I don't want you If I hear another podcast and you would you rip on us? I would only say like amazing things about you guys. You guys are like so nice No, like overtly nice in this situation. You know what I mean? It's like, I don't know It's very personable and I so no because that's the thing too when you talk so much like I do people Just think that like I hear people say it like oh well Tricia just will just go off on anybody and that's not true It's like it's like really awful people in my life, but there's a lot of great people, you know

And so I think it's just like I should probably talk about those people too, but Like um, yeah, I mean I can't I'm trying to think of like I'm trying to think of like a good person that like I Like I don't know. I can't think well, you know, I'll be I'll be honest with you. I think that um Already, I know that what you'll be back on here. I hope so And also, please be your first guest on bloodbath. I would love to Yeah, yeah, we go off on that one. I mean like we've all except for ester annie and I have been It's just molestation central even if like because you know that time I filled in for annie, right? Yeah She would be a great fill in please. It would be our dream. I would love it. I would absolutely love it

I love like yeah female. I don't have a lot. I don't a lot of friends period But a lot of female friends I've never had you know because I think of escorting and stuff like that So I'm like I love being around females, but sometimes I'm always like oh, but now that I'm older I'm like, oh, I want to be around them more because it's like my energy. You know what I mean? Guys like still intimidate me a little bit. You know what I mean? Like I'm very even at 32 I'm very like, you know, I like hate men. It sounds like that with the way I talk. I'm very like anti men Are you intimidated by me? No

Intimidated by him? No Intimidated by him? No Yeah, do you know why? I why We're fucking losers Losers

Andres, you're a fucking loser Not incels No, your wife doesn't think so. Yeah. So that's all that matters Um, so at the end of our podcast what we do is we do a thing called unhelpful advice trisha Okay, and basically it's a people email us about problems and we either give them good advice or bad advice It doesn't matter. So would you like to um help us? I would love to thank you. I'm not qualified though. Just But before we get to that we actually have a couple of patreon questions

We have a lot of tiger belly fans that are fans of you. Okay, so I just want to ask two questions This one's from jenna a franklin from uh, patreon on an episode of frenemies You claim that you've had your first ever hotdog with ethan But there is a video surfacing of you eating a big juicy hotdog outside of 7 11 along with a tequito and a big Could you please explain this we're confused. Okay. Yes, but I didn't digest it It was an s and l sketch that I was doing and I took a bite and I spit it out So I never digested a hotdog. So I never actually ate a hotdog. Are you anti hotdog? I don't like hotdogs I don't like the texture. I don't like anything. Do you eat spam? Well, no, I don't even know what it is. I know

That's her life. Let me really try it I think like spam and like Reese's peanut butter cups from like 51st dates like that sounded so bomb Like if it was with chocolate, I couldn't do it by itself Okay, so I make spam like this where I add brown. I cook it with brown sugar and I let caramelize a little bit So it has the savory and the sweet. Okay. I could be into that. What is spam? It's we it's mystery meat essentially, but I think Pork base. Okay. I want to say something to you. You eat 7 11 food. I love 7 11 food I know, but that's the don't you think that that's the lowest

No, I don't say like the the texture of them are just like, I know but 7 11 food think about it It's fried. I know but I understand that but because I know that you like 7 11 branded food, right? I love it. How do you know that? I just do. Okay, because look at me So, um, when I go to 7 11 and I'll go to like, you know, they're coffee drinks, right I'll go I'd rather get Starbucks than 7 11. It just seems cheaper But you're saying there you think that they're high higher quality 7 11. Yeah No, I've always like trash food like I'm a McDonald's girl. Like I like things that are just trash food I think it tastes better. I'm not like, uh, I don't have like a high taste del taco or a taco bell

Um, I think del taco. They have boba. Thank you It's like a mango boba on a sprite boba. It's so good You eat like Doritos and shit I love Doritos like that's like I couldn't like my like I wake up in the morning and I like have chips like I love like Fritos, I love like I have really bad nutrition Like I'm for sure gonna die of probably like a heart attack because like I do like, do you know what like mukbangs are? Yes, so like that's how I started youtube is doing like mukbang

So I'd eat like as much food as I could and I like love it. I just I'm just obsessed with food So that'll probably my death. Do you do what he does which is wake up in the middle of the night for food? No, I don't do that. Thank god, but I think it's because I just eat so much during the day So I sleep through the night like after I have a big meal at night. I just sleep I don't but if I woke up in the night that would I'd be so much bigger than I'd be like You are just wow, there's no one like you on planet earth There is no one like you so on planet on fucking earth One more question. This is from chase nielsen

Now that you've learned more about bobby Would you rather survive on a deserted island with Ethan or bobby lee and maybe weigh out the pros and cons? Oh god I think I've learned more about bobby and this that I know about even because I don't know I didn't know about the farting all that stuff like that. So I that's the big thing If you were in a deserted island that that's the first thing that would happen in your mouth I think you have more survival skills because you didn't math But I I'm gonna have to go with my partner in crime and he's my bestie so Ethan

Wow Make a case for yourself. Yes. Why well, I'm going to make my case through time Okay, right because because we've now we're building a foundation right and through time I will make the case and a year from now you will be convinced that I'm the one really yeah You have to plump up a little too because I don't think I could eat off you you could eat off Oh, it's Ethan fatter than me. Um, oh He's just meteor. I'm meteor than Ethan. So I fatter or whatever but like but yeah, but yeah, he'd have a little more meat Listen, listen lady. Um, I don't think that if we were in a deserted island that that would be the first thing in my mind

I'm gonna eat this person. Yes, you would my my we're gonna be the part where partnership to survive No, I would want to eat the person I would start eating. All right I'm hopeful by on day one. There's meat there, but she chooses I'd rather go with Ethan. I like the idea. Okay. Here's the here here. I mean, um stranded on a desert island There's a big bag of hot dogs or bobby That you could possibly eat. Oh, definitely bobby. That's a no brainer I like the idea of eating a human if it was legal, I would try it like I like the idea of cannibal

Are you on board with um army hammer possibly being accountable? I don't even know who that is either He's the guy from call me by your name and he's a cannibal. I don't know. Well, he's I he's into for sure btsm stuff but um rumor has it that he's into it's kind of one of his kinks is to pretend like he's going to Eat his um partner and he doesn't do it though. It's that guy. Oh, wow Oh No, that's crazy. Oh, wow. Um, is he getting convicted like what's happening? I don't know anything about him No, but he's he's definitely gotten canceled I think hollywood

If it's like a kink and you're not actually doing it, I think it's probably okay Like if you're like, I'm about to eat you and that's like what you get off on I guess it's okay If he's actually doing it, there might be a problem. I don't know anything about him. He's killing people eating them yet Yeah, let's eat you I like the idea of it. I like the idea of it unhelpful advice unhelpful advice with trisha My question is for the ladies in the room. I've been dating this guy for a few months now We met at the rock climbing gym that I go to and we both are avid rock climbers However, rock climbing is the only sport he ever wants to do

So I find myself doing a lot of more stuff a lot more stuff alone like running skiing hiking and viking He's a great guy. I think there's a lot of potential for this relationship. However, I do not know I however, I do not let it bother me that he's not into many sports or activities that I'm into What do you guys think? He's setting really high expectations for a guy. Yeah, he already shares your big passion with you, which is rock climbing That's insane that you want to go fucking You know, I mean base jumping with him that you're requiring all these other things Like look, I'm a very outdoorsy athletic person

My partner is the most sedentary person I've ever met in my life But it works out because I like having my own interests that are solely mine and my time to do that and he likes playing video games and You know, when you love somebody you just accept them for exactly For what they are in front of you not for what you want them to become that's that's a that's unrealistic And I think that's fucked up of her to want him to do that. What do you think? Yeah, I think I totally agree with that too. Same with the thing with me and my fans say we're total opposites It's the best. Yeah, it's better to be opposite

You don't want someone like on your shit doing like all the same thing you do like it's like weird So like I dated a youtuber that also vlogged all the time and it was like the most annoying thing in the whole world I was like, oh my god, we can't both be vlogging our food. It was really fucking annoying So I would say yeah be happy with the rock climbing. I don't know. That's crazy. That's a real question like that person I mean no offense, but Is she like a fucking wonder woman? Like what does she do? Never date a rock climber. Why not? Why would a rock climb? I can't because of my sweat pants Any woman that's like I'm going to go to the fucking mountains now. No, no, no

Well, you can do indoor rock the wall rock climbing. Oh, I was thinking like free solo. Oh, I mean do it with me Bobby No harness. No, I just be like, all right. I'm gonna break up with you Sorry, that's what you want to do for fun You know what I mean on a fucking cliff. Fuck you. That's crazy. Yeah, well, I respect it I just don't think she should require that out of I think the rock climbing is he a good father. Are there's so many other things you should be worried about Outside of his hobbies. Yeah, what sign are you? I'm a Scorpio But like you Trish is just that I I really burned rubber when I was younger

Hypersexual sucked a lot of dick fucked a lot of boys did did it all So now I'm just exhausted by the young girls game. Oh my god. Yeah Same I like sex to me like with other people are just like a lot. That sounds like a lot of work Yeah, I don't know. I'm a Virgo. What does that mean? Oh, honestly, I've never met a Virgo. I don't know anything about Virgos You've never met a Virgo? No, what month is that September? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know anyone Robert Redford is a fucking Virgo. I don't know him Robert Redford is? I don't know him personally, but he's an actor. You know that. Yeah. Yeah. I just don't know like anything about Virgos

I know a lot about Scorpios. I was like, oh, okay, Scorpios. What's your sign? I'm a tourist and my fiance is a Scorpio and he is like they're really good together Um, yeah, because they're like the opposite ends of the I mean, I'm not like so into like astrology Don't be that person. But yeah, they're like opposite ends. Oh really quick a Virgo dislikes rudeness asking for help taking center stage Virgo likes animals healthy food books nature and cleanliness. That's the opposite of him Animals animals animals. Yeah, but you don't you love to take center stage You know how many times I've driven by a tree and I shed a tear Virgo Virgo

Bro, when I when I'm in a forest, I'm fucking I'm destroyed I love nature. I just don't want to be in it. Yeah, do you cry after sex? No, I do. Do you? Yeah, I get like post-coital blues sometimes and I don't know if it's something to do with like my childhood But um, I get really I don't always cry, but I get depressed. Oh, oh, so it's like sad tears Yeah, it's like Orgasm and then after I just have I feel down. Whoa, and what do you do for it? Nothing. You just try it out Yeah, like I have I yeah, I suffer from depression anyway, so I think it's just an extension of that like maybe it's like

I don't know what hormones are at play there, but it's definitely not a good feeling afterwards It doesn't matter if the sex was great and I'm happy in that relationship. I just feel like oh fuck She can come so easy. Yeah, very really so easy. Huh? I'm lucky. Are you so lucky? That is good. Yeah, that's because I like didn't orgasm talk like 20 So that's really I think also like when you're like you're 28. Yeah, uh-huh I don't it was like with a it was like in a threesome with like one of those like Hitachi things or whatever they are Yeah, but um, yeah, maybe that's also from like Your trauma as like a child because like I had trauma as a child and like after sex

I want to like sabotage it like I'm really mean I used to be really mean and I would like say you're ugly You're a piece of shit like all this crazy shit like I used to get really aggressive Maybe it's like that same story. That's what I've learned through like therapy I just started therapy a couple years ago and I'm like that's maybe it's more like it's like an emotional shutdown Maybe it's a different like variation, right? It's or um as dr. Drew told me on our podcast disassociating he says it's like you had disassociated after something that like Was traumatic at one point in your life like I love sex, but it was like so traumatic Even if I didn't know it like when I was like young I thought I liked it and I was like, oh, maybe that was traumatic

Dr. Drew must be very fascinated by you Dr. Drew is always on my side. He's so cool. He's a great guy. Yeah, I love him He's been on a couple times and like he's like the first I think that's what got the internet to be like on my side because he like explained like I have a mental illness I'm like borderline personality disorder and he like explained like are you borderline trick? Yeah, and so dr. Drew was the first one that wasn't the first a doctor told me before him But he was like the first person to explain like splitting disassociating like all that stuff I'm fascinated by anything borderline by the way because when I was younger they thought I was borderline

But you know just by having teenage angst and all of that You too many hormones are at play to diagnose a young person Yes, right, but when you got when I got older it just turns out that I was bipolar too, which is I had very um light mania, but very low lows and um Anyways with a borderline with people with borderline. I just Like it makes sense to me. Yeah, like it makes sense to me like the hot the cold the splitting the all of that Yeah, I didn't know about it until like literally like the past like a year and a half. I was like, oh that makes sense So I was like what yeah, what do you want? Sorry?

Um, can I just say something? Yeah Um We want her back, right? Yeah So we want her and it's like, um, if we keep going. Yeah, we'll never stop. We'll never have so many questions I just hope you don't get canceled for having me on. I feel like people are gonna send you. No, we're gonna edit Look at him. He's sweating because he wrote just wrote a Hemingway. No No, I'm just saying in general for having me on I feel like people really dislike me sometimes so I think let me you know what You go go ahead and say it because I'm gonna say this right for you guys. No, no

well, first of all, um You and I are very similar in many ways. We have the same kind of You know ticks and um, you know, if I was a female I probably exactly like you. You know what? Honestly, I believe that I think so too I think that he would be you to a tee to a tee. So I think we're very similar in many ways So, um, I don't think so And shut the fuck up Thank you

Yeah, shut the fuck up. Oh, you shut the fuck up. I'll shut the fuck up. All right. I'm ending it You're ending it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm ending it. Okay. Guess it has to be a part two Yeah, we're gonna have a round again. All right. It also feels like the start of a threesome Shut up. Shut up. Yeah Okay, just one more thing about threesome I read somewhere that there were actually rules to it And if you're a couple seeking a third you should never kiss first and you should go for the third first Because it sets the tone for the rest of the time. Yeah, I've only been a plus one in a threesome

I would never have a threesome with a boy my boyfriend because like I'm too insecure about it But like I've always been the plus one and yeah If like you give the girl like the attempt the the plus one the attempt because otherwise you think like oh, they don't want me here why yeah Anyways, I'm gonna imagine a threesome with with you two and I'm gonna say that right now. I would cackle. Fuck our lives up. I would cackle in a good way

Like a hyena. It would be so funny I would cackle. I would just I wouldn't be able to do it. Anyway, um, here's one thing. I will say Like after you have sex, don't you like if you want to verbally abuse him afterwards That would make me laugh so hard as I'm crying in a corner Verbally abusing him make fun of my dick It's weird-looking I'd make fun of like other things. Yeah, but have you seen weird penises before? Oh, you know what? No, I'm not like a penis shamer

I think all penises are kind of cool. Like I've never seen like a like even like little ones or like crooked ones Have you had little ones? Have you ever micro? Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah. Okay. My girl's not that bad. Not that bad It's just not like is that me? Hey, bitch, is it me? Just wink. Am I micro bitch? The stereotypes about asian all my mega penises were not asian like I like I never that stereotype It's not like asians are huge, but they like, you know, they're at their average. Yeah, they're technical. Yeah, right. It's always like asian micro Efficient and technical. Yeah Anyway, we're not saying another word

I refuse. Give her a round of applause everybody. Yeah, what's the name? Hey Prime members, you can listen to tiger barely ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today Or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast before you go Tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey