TigerBelly - Ep 293: Yannis Pappas Presents Karate Them

Episode Date: April 21, 2021

Yannis is Simon, not Garfunkel. Bobby is Team Yannis. Khalyla's Mom meets Pete Sampras. We talk things that have never been googled, the greatest Michael Chang story, Karate Them, and the 'amicable' Hyena split. Send "Karate Them" artwork to @tigerbelly instgramPlease support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus Because the body doesn't miss Match the legs. No, it doesn't nothing your bodies. I I I disagree. I think he has great thick legs. Thank you Oh, wow, you have Greek legs. I do have Greek legs, but I'll explain. Yeah, it's like I like the tone I like the thickness of it. I like the muscular, but the body is very like a bat garbage. Yeah, it's garbage. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah garbage. Yeah, yeah, the face is cute. It's a little Dave Batista Dave Batista. Yeah, I was thinking more Bobby Lee Oh, he's meditating. No, I'm not meditating. No, it's cool. That's how I absorb insult No, I wasn't thinking I wanted to I wanted to be prepared. We could be backup dancers. Um,

You know, it's popas. Yeah, popa la-pa-la-pas Popa la-pa-la-pas. All right, so don't say anything until I say your name Sure, and I'm gonna press you on some things. So that's me or whatever. I'm going to Four three two and in the clowns Send in the clowns I sing that because when I see a clown You know, it just springs up that song in my head, you know, and he's East Coast clown But I want to bring up yet just yet, but um, he's got a bulbous kind of a vibe up on him

You know bulbous his face. I love him. He's cute. He was like if he was on a show, he would test really well Um, I see the bald spot on this. What's your name? Andreas's head and I just realized that bro Not a good look. He has long hair. Yeah, but it's kind of it's got like a you know I mean a fucked up warlock kind of a vibe, you know, I mean a tired warlock. No, it's just like, you know, like when you see Lord of the Rings the two towers Lord of the Rings Did I say Lord of the Rings the Chinese one? Yeah, I have an accent. Yeah No, hold it that means So when you see Lord of the Rings

And you see Saruman is that the other wizard Yeah, Saruman Saruman and you know, he's fighting, you know Gandalf, right? If you look at both of those wizards head because he has the same hairstyle, right? They don't have a bald spot and they're like 90. So I don't know what the fuck his deal is anyway Don't ever do that again. We got Gilbert. We got my beautiful one right here. Um, and I have I You know, sometimes, you know, when I drive around I have these like epiphanies and this like it like I come to a realization You know, because I think is something that like just puts chill bumps on my body, you know And first of all, let's introduce our guest before I propose this revelation that I had, okay

Um He's a stand-up comedian from New York. Oh He is very funny talented he used to be You know podcast called history, I don't know what the history of it is but history of history of yeah Yeah, but there's they're no longer together and yeah, yeah By the way history of hyena is if if they were the boot group wham This guy would have been George Michael of the oh, he's the name because no one knows main no one knows the other guy

No one knows the other guy, you know, and you got Greek and I said that to say sorry name. I just went for a Greek joke All right, is there a Greek joke class? There's a great. All right. That's right Right, there was a window of a Greek joke. Go ahead. So I'm gonna say it again and we'll edit it together Okay, yeah, so if they were the group wham, right? He definitely would have been the George Michael of oh Because I'm Greek and I'm gay and I died of eight He died he died but not of eight. Oh, yeah, but he's gay. So I just anybody dies. He's gay. He's gay Yana's pop is give him a round of applause. Yeah, welcome to the show man. Thank you

I know all right. Pdm. That was my that was my The the revelation I had was about the yes, so think of this DMX died today Prince Phillips that did today. Mm-hmm. You never saw them in the same room. No, I My theory is one person died There is the same same guy. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, so um It's like the prestige. Yeah, think about that movie Prince Philip, I feel like died

600 years ago. Yeah, that's what he looks like if you look at any of his photos He's just always in the backseat of a car and for the last 40 years and just wait I have a question for you guys if anyone gets past the age of 80 Is it just a free-for-all in terms of like roasting them because I feel like the memes about Prince Philip are just mean mean brutal or if you're like a prince like Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's like you can't you can't his obituary can't say he was hard-working he Is a fine example of excellence

Yeah, he's just you can roast him. Yeah. Well, what he was the royal guy, right? It was could the queen that was married into the family Let me give you a breakdown of them because you see the crown go ahead Wait, he's the husband of the queen. I understand that but who was a duke of Edinburgh My question is I don't know much about it. So just don't talk down to me. First of all Okay, I'm trying to ask fucking cuz I don't know anything about the royal family and he's actually Can I ask the question before you add information? Fuck. I love you, but damn so my question is this is

was Prince Philip a part of the royal family and and Queen Elizabeth married into the family. No, he was actually not liked because he came from German ancestry and Yeah, and so there was a lot of pushback and also Queen Elizabeth was the reluctant Queen because it was her father's brother that Gave up his crown and so Elizabeth's father was the guy who was like Kind of had to step in for it And now she was that she when he died she became the Queen, right?

So so he married into royalty. He married into royalty. Yeah, I tuned down. I just hear incest royal Something something yeah, but he came from like some German shit. They were like no We don't really like him. He wasn't liked in the beginning. Mmm. Cuz what happened what they did? I don't know. Yeah, what happens if um, but he did I don't forgive them yet either I don't forgive the Germans yet either. Oh for what for what they did what I around the 1940s They tried doing soft work or whatever. Yeah, they did some naughty stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah Yeah, they did some naughty stuff and oh, yeah, so the the hot what are you called the holocaust the holocaust yeah Yeah, the holocaust I read about that. So, um, what happened?

No, so you don't are you Jewish? No, I'm Greek. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, honest Papas. Yeah, I'm as Greek as I'm as Greek as Pete Samper's yeah, it's I love Pete Samper. He's a Greek hero My mom is upstairs right now if you so much as say Pete Samper's her panties will drop to the floor Can I scream it and see what happens? Maybe she'll hear it. Hold on. Should we call her? Yeah. Yeah Tell her that only tell her the guess is Pete Samper. Yeah, maybe we'll just hold hands on Pete Samper's I should I call her and then one look. She's gonna know it's not wait. Maybe if you can call her I'm gonna have a hat. I could put a hat on low. Okay, hang on Let me call Jules and then say hey get mama on the phone because her idols here. Pete Samper's eat 92,000 pizzas

That's what you'd say. I could pretend like I have thalassemia minor Which is what? I know what thalassemia. Yeah, he would get weak. That's what that's so amazing that he played so well And he'd get weak one time he threw up on the court. Why do I feel like I'm at the international? I feel like I'm at the international court Jules, um, can you put mama on the phone and tell her that her idol Pete Samper's wants to talk to her the tennis player I mean don't say who just passed the phone. You would have thought That you would have told her that Pete Samper's was coming over today. Yeah, maybe she did as a surprise. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah This is gonna be hard to sell, but I'll try

They're speaking to go look Or you could say John Stamos's special needs brothers here I mean if he's Pete Samper's can I be chai on fat? Oh, yeah Michael Chan The great tennis got grand slam at 17. I played tennis with him. You did. Yeah, you know that Are you not a can? No. No. I I literally I was at the I was at stone rich country. Hello ma I didn't tell a fucking story now Hey ma, um, just real quick. We forgot to tell you who the guest was today

Because I didn't want to shock you, but I'm gonna put you on the phone with him. Okay Just quickly just to say hi. It's um, it's your idol Pete Samper's I really? Oh, wait one second. He just wants to say hi one second. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Wait put it next to the mic. Yes, please Hey, how are you good to hear? I'm thank you I'm I'm such a big fan of your daughter and her boyfriend and their and their podcast and I came all the way out here from Florida Yeah

In your dreams like I I made no No excuse even I have to wake up in the middle of the night. She would watch all his grand slams I have to wake up That's so inspiring to me. What what was it about my play that uh connected with you? It's my my my my late husband loves you My dad loved you Pete

Well, uh, you know Yeah, well, I'm uh, I'm uh, I'm basically a tennis hero around the world The problem is when people meet me they think I'm a lot nicer than I am. I'm kind of a dick in real life, you know A lot of the championships and tournaments have gone in my head. I'm just really an asshole now I made a lot of money and I don't want people to touch me or look in my eyes, so But I like I like the way you play because you don't have a big mouth No, you don't have a big mouth. I don't have a big mouth. No, but I got a small piece

I don't know if you see I don't know if you've seen greek statues, but it's pretty true I mean you don't talk too much like, you know, it's out. It's out. You don't mind the ball Yeah, you know, it was um, also my eyebrows are big Did you like that? Your eyebrows? Yeah, greeks got big eyebrows. We got hair everywhere. Is he flirting? My hair's, my body looks like yogurt with hair in it I think the last game that I watched in you

You're never gonna get out the phone by the way Yeah, all right marriages marriages. We gotta take Pete. We gotta talk to Pete. We gotta talk to Pete Thank you, mom. Yeah, I'll come up and say hello to you later. Oh, no, no, no, no Okay, you just get ready. I'm coming No, no, no, no I love you. Bye. Bye. She Now she thinks Pete samples I gotta continue it now. She literally thinks

Pete samples is in the house And you know why she doesn't want to thought that we would have told her you know why she doesn't want to meet you As Pete she doesn't she not made up. Well, yeah, because she came here to like clean the house. You know, she's upstairs right now You know that right? I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. She's probably looking. She's gonna walk out look through those She's like, oh Pete samples body change Like, you know, I'm out of shape now. Yeah. Yeah, what does Pete samples look like? I don't even know what he looks like Okay, very hairy very thick eyebrows curly hair Yeah, and um, yeah, yeah, no, he started balding like towards you know what

Yeah, he was hot. You know what I could I could buy it Yeah, I mean, I think if she came down maybe for yeah, we could get away with it. Yeah. Yeah, I could buy it Yeah, so I'll just can I tell you my Michael Chen story? Chang babe Chang Chang whatever his name is Racist Asian Definitely Michael No, this actually happened. I don't know him. I don't know his career But I was that I was um, probably in the seventh grade and I played tennis, you know that right? I was on the tennis team

Yeah, and I was at this, you know, we belong to a country club So the country club that we belong to was called the stone rich country country club And every once in a while we get pros come by Okay, and one day Michael Chang is that his name? Yeah He was just playing with because I took a class there Right and we were able we all took turns playing with him. That's awesome And that's my Michael Chang story Michael Chang is the ultimate journeyman because he just cut that out That that story sucks. No, it was great. It sucked my dick that story. I was I teared up

Put that in the books You know, did he hit hard like did he no you shut the fuck fuck Talk about caps he had power I want to say something This is one of those situations where I was going to tell that Michael Chang story before the phone call And so in my head, I'm like just let it go. There's nothing there Just let me my thought process let it go. There's nothing there, right? So that the phone call kept going with your mom and whatnot, right?

And I'm like I let it go or not. Yeah, let's just throw it out there. See what happens, right? And once And then I felt like disgust and shame Oh, no, I'm hyped up on it because that's all I watched growing up was tennis. Yeah What happened between you and christis? Oh Right to it right to because I don't buy Listen, nobody buys it and and I'm going to get the truth. Yeah. So here's the deal. Yeah I don't buy that it was like a you know a mutual, you know

Departure, I mean, I believe there was a blowout Right, um, if we were to call it a band outside of wham, what would it be outside of wham? That's hard. It's gotta be a duo. Um Oh, simon and garfunkel. Oh, wow. Was that a bad breakup or paul simon? You're fucking paul simon so, um, I don't know if it was a bad breakup, but uh, I'm sure uh garfunkel was sad about it Because paul had you know, I mean a big career. Yeah garfunkel. I don't know what he did Maybe he those picks for his hair, you know, maybe he had a company or something. Yeah, he had a beautiful unique throw. Yeah, bro. Yeah, so what happened? Um, yeah, we had an amicable split. No, it wasn't. There we go

It's completely amicable. There's no way it was. We were just about to pop. We had just gotten I'll tell you why I know it's not I'll tell you why I know it's not because it's one of those things where it's like, um, let's suppose let's go back to wham Right, so I don't know wham's career, right, but I'm sure they got together Or whatever they did, you know, I mean, but they also played, you know, I mean And right before like a big major label was about to sign them them breaking up like the day before So I believe that there was some sort of fight or blowout. I also believe that it wasn't your fault I believe it was chris distofano's fault garfunkel use garfunkel

Use garfunkel's fault, right? And um, I believe that it there was some there's some bad blood Now, let me let me ask you something. You don't have to get specific. You don't have to get specific because I know I feel like an international war I know doesn't know this glass make it. It looks like the Hague in here So what I feel like I'm a Bosnian war criminal I'm gonna drink poet. Remember when he drinks the poison kills himself. Yeah No, yeah, some other uh, Macedonian or another country in the east. Yeltsin is alive. Yeah, he likes vodka

Is he still alive? Yeltsin borscha. I know what you're trying to do. I'm trying to deflect. I'm trying to help you out I know the war criminal. Where's your mom Pete? I need to play tennis ball Are your panties wet? So, um, I'm sorry for ask. I have to because I'm you know, it's one of those things where What I've heard about it through the great vine it could kind of hurt me. I heard I heard you lost sleep over you I did and um And so was it distofano's fault? Uh, distofano is I don't know. Yeah, didn't bother them. Yeah, memorize it. Um, I know I can't I can't I don't you know, we

We we did a last episode. It was great It was we we were we were both happy. We hugged. We're still very good friends to this day. I don't think you are conscious Uncoupling we did it. Yeah, it was it was a conscious uncoupling. Let me ask you this. Yeah, he's in town. You know, is he here? Is he here? He'll be on this program two weeks. So that's what my anxiety attack is about it at Starbucks So what i'm asking is is that you know, if you guys are okay and you guys are great friends. Yeah He's here. I bet your money. You won't see him while you're in LA. Oh, no, no, no, we're gonna meet up and play pickleball

Have you seen that sport by the way? Yeah. Yeah, it's like in austin. So it's it's he's busy. He's doing a show No, that's impossible because I'll tell you I think he's got to do another whiskey ginger episode Eight or nine. He texts me every day. He texts me every day. When can I be on tiger ballet? Yeah, right? So he's itching right to do something right to hang out, right? So I know that there is some bad blood there and I'm asking you Oh, this is gonna kill him that you had me on first. Yes No, uh, in fact, I've ignored his calls because um, well, let me just say something about this stuff I know he's calling the wrong person. He's not the guy to call to get on this podcast

You got to call George in directly and I think that's what you did probably. Yes. I called George and then we forwarded to gilbert And the Spanish guy. I have no idea No idea was the most diverse cast I've ever seen He'll never relay the message to anyone. Yeah. So, you know when I read it. It's like I always think um I wanted to your podcast. I always go. Yeah, that'd be a good idea. And then I just that's it. Yeah Yeah, it ends with you. Yeah. So, um Just let's let's not you know, I mean, yeah, I just want a brief answer from you and then we could just move on so Creatively, I feel like you know, we fulfilled

Our mission together that God put together our chemistry was rhythmic. It was from the stars. It was It was incredible. It was inexplicable. Yeah, it was incredible and I was very musical and um, I believe he wanted more money I I believe I believe He said wait a second. We were making pretty good money. I know you we were about to make really good money I know and I believe that he kind of went, you know what? I believe that I deserve What do you think? Do you think I'm getting in trouble for this? No, no, no, I want to I do you think that's I get nervous

With these kinds of things because it's like, you know friendships are delicate and friendships and work are delicate the delicate balance It's business and I also just think you're about to make a peter satara reference that would break my heart Okay, so what I'm saying though to you is is that if andrew santino, right? You know, if him and I if he said some bullshit like Listen, buddy. I do most of the work. Um, you know, you're 50% of the thing But it's like you don't do the legwork. So I think I think I deserve this amount You deserve that amount, right? Because we split 50 50, right? I think that I would have very I've had I've had I would have had a really big problem with that

Nothing like that happened Why you raise your hand, huh? That was kind of weird. That was weird. I don't know I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah. Yeah, all right. So nothing like that So you're just saying you're just saying it was creative differences Uh, yeah, I you know, uh, he's over here now. He's here for a couple months He started podcast with sal which is great. Hey, babe. You should check out. I started one called long days We went in different were you doing with just solo solo it's going good

So after a great start and his his hey babe with sal is doing great Sal's a big comedy star right does arenas but because let me say something though because he did start one with somebody else So the excuse of like him going I want to go solo. I just want to you know, create my own franchise on my own market So he does, you know, he wants to partner out with somebody, right? So that to me would mean sorry. I know you're looking at me in a weird way, but that would to me I'm sorry. I apologize. I just have to just finish my train of thought. Thank you, right? Right. There we go. Right. So there you guys are right old days. Yeah, that's us All right, I just want to let you know that I you know, you can say what you want to say and I don't believe you

Right. Um, I believe that there was bad blood I believe that it was his, you know mean because I know he gives people covet He gave sent he almost killed my friend. He almost killed. He almost killed my friend my one of my best friends sent You know, yeah, and also most killed us, right? Yeah, so it's like, you know, I gave you he gave you guys all covet No, but he he didn't have it. He brought a covet. He brought a mexican guy riddled person Oh, right, right, right, right brought a mexican guy to the studio, right? I don't know that guy's donny. He's banging Yeah, yeah, donny's fucking right Who's I heard he's doing a podcast with as well. Um, yeah on the side so um

but He didn't get covet which is amazing because he's gotten every other venereal disease I feel like covet showed up and was like there's two. It was like an elevator that was too full And then I got it from akash. Yeah, yeah, so when you got it. When did you get it? I got it, uh, November Classes class of 2020 did it get you good or was it got me good? Yeah, I had the gi version and uh, I had to go to the hospital and then it was just mostly anxiety after that So wait when you went to the hospital, I just had a daughter couldn't breathe and though my breathing was fine

I did have double pneumonia, but I was shitting everything out I was vomiting everything and I missed my little daughter. She was three weeks old at the time So it was it was all fucked up and I was quarantining in our studio to stay away from my mother-in-law and wife and Wow, so how long did that last? It was the whole thing was about two three weeks So then yeah, and then so everything got a little chaotic with hyenas. He had started the podcast with cell I found out about it later And uh, that's it. That's it. That's it. You missed you missed it. No. No. What are you talking about? Oh, I found out later. You can interpret that as I had COVID. I got it. Should we rewind that?

Wow, I just got it He fucking left you when you were sick. He didn't honk the horn Starting it with someone else bro. Oh my god. My eyes are burning. So check this out. All right I didn't say that I didn't say that you guys are reading into it. That's what it is. What a bastard We'll be your interpreter. I didn't say it So so there was take me to a beaver. So at the comedy store at mitzsche shore, right? Yeah, mitzsche shore had this accountant for 35 years named Michael and for like 20 years she wanted to fire him but couldn't get that have the heart to do it

He had hip surgery and when he was in surgery she fired him That's a true story, right? This business is yeah, and he got when he got out. I was like, I don't have a job You know, I mean, so it was like kick him when they're down. Yeah, so that's what justifano pulled the mitzsche shore On yannis. Oh my lord That is cray cray It seems crazy because I was supposed to do rogan when he was still on youtube Then I got COVID and I got so sick. We had to postpone it and then I did rogan And then we broke up right after I did rogan. All right, so you get out of COVID. I got out of COVID quarantine, right?

You're about to do rogan. Yeah, right you find out that Without any, you know Warning, justifano just had started a new podcast with sal He's making out with someone else. Yeah, so you found out about it And in your heart, let me ask you something right now. Yeah, when you first found out about it, right? Did did you cry? No, I didn't I thought it was fine. I think the fans were a little confused I think some of our fans were a little confused um, and then so

Then did you confront him about the salving? No, all right. So how does that work? He just calls you out of nowhere and goes we're done. No, no, he didn't no, no You're good He's good at asking the questions. Yeah, he's not good at picking up information and the answers, right? He's giving a lot more answers than you think, right? I know I understand it, right? But for our viewers right there and people listening, right? They can't read his like, you know facial expression Yeah, you're interpreting. So I'm just trying to you know, this is good. I think a good way to That that will satisfy you. Okay. Good. He likes to do a lot of things

He likes to do a lot of things. I like to do one. I like to focus on one thing and bring it to fruition I'm similar to you. Yeah similar. I have to see something through the I can't I'm not a multi-tasker that way And he also got a tv show too so that and then he had to commit to la for three months So things were kind of it almost seems when we look back Now it almost seems like ah, maybe that was meant to happen because he's had to go to la for three months He wanted he did another pot. He was looking, you know, maybe it was just different You know, how many years did you do the podcast with? Almost three we did three years. How many episodes?

Um, I would have to check that. Yeah hundreds. No, yeah, but if you include uh, patreon content. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, hell yeah, no. Oh, yeah, I saw because I want to say this for the record I want to say this for all the rest of it was off the record No, that's still on the record This is more on the record more on the record. I want to say that um When you guys did our podcast back in the apartment, right? No right here in the next door Oh, you did here. Yeah, right. So when you guys did it there, um, and um, I didn't know you that well And um, and then I'm gonna be I'm sorry. I'm getting emotional

No, I am I'll speak it from my heart. Okay um I had an epiphany when we were sitting there when you guys came over because I thought Oh, that's why people are listening because of that guy Deanna Yeah, because of yana simon You know paul simon I got that's a songwriter

Yeah, that's the heartbeat of the thing, you know, so it's like and then um, all of a sudden, you know And then, you know, your partner chris gave try to murder my friend with kovat Could pretty by bringing a mexican over to her, you know, and that his race has nothing to do with by the way Yeah, has nothing to do with by the way. All right, and I love your people He's Spanish whatever. Yeah, he's Same literally from galicia. Yeah same same um DNA. Yeah, same DNA say well not really because

Mexican is like a lot native and then a spanish blood Can we just move on they're both human. Can we fucking move on from it? I'm not mexican or spanish So here's I'm getting emotional again. Oh, okay So what I'm saying is is that and when I found out of the breakup, it broke me But you know what? I believe yana's that you have a bright future ahead of you. Thank you. Um, I will because of my loyalty to you Yes, um, chris will not do our podcast while he's here in LA by doing we canceling we canceling him. Well, he's booked in two I was curious to hear what you're

Let me ask you something right now Because I don't know who's coming up. I know you don't But I do I booked him Let me finish my trade of thought right because this is a big decision now, right? So that guy's coming in two weeks or in a couple weeks in a couple of weeks when I get okay, so You can do both though. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I have to it's about loyalty my friend, right? It's about, um Bonds blood bonds, right? Um

cancel it You have to cancel it. Is that the call? I don't want you to do that. I want you to treat him fight for him What is this mind game? Yannis fight for Yannis fight for him to be on the spot. He fight for him. He is a funny Okay, yeah, you know that yeah He is a handsome guy Right, you know that he likes your legs though for a comic. Yeah. Yeah for a comic. He's a very handsome guy and

He's done every other podcast here. You don't want to be the only one left out No, that's not no, no, no, it's like, you know, that's not it. That's not it. You know, it's like I like guests Honestly, I like guests that don't do it often like I'm trying to call people Because I know that my friend ike barenholz doesn't really do it You know, jordan peel we've had on and in that's like a thing that i'm proud of because it's like You know, no one else god could get jordan, you know, I mean, so it's like I want people On our podcast that nobody else can get so I feel like chris d is a podcast whore You know, and he's fucked everybody and why would I feel special? I'll think about having chris on I think you should have him on

How's the baby? Baby's amazing. I don't trust her yet, but she's amazing. What do you mean? I just don't know her that well She hasn't done anything for me You know, it's funny when people you say that because um, it's when they start Talking and communicating and expressing and their real personalities are coming out is when I find guys, especially Oh, my guy friends that have babies they go. That's when they start falling in love Right initially apparently it's like it's living obviously you love it, right? But it's like you don't know really, you know, you're just trying to keep it alive

The bond is totally different with the At the beginning with the woman the woman's feeding it out of her titty. Yeah, and I Because history hyenas broke up. I was trying to sell it White babies are black mark. Oh god, you can get a pretty because I can make another one. I got million swimmers I don't know. Let me ask you something right now. How much would I have to Give you well, that would be ironic selling a white baby to an asian. That'd be great and I would raise it nice Yeah, that would be very that would be like reverse and then when he's like 17 He'll be or he'll wear like eyeliners to make his eyes look like mine

And yeah, so my kick on some yellow. He'll remove his eyelids Oh, yeah, that's another thing you never see is you always see Koreans and and an asian baby is being adopted by white right you never see asian folks Adopting white babies. Well, I I read a long time ago. Maybe like eight years ago I read an article about how really really affluent chinese families We're getting like poor desperate like young white men to work as butlers over there. Yeah Yeah, that's what's going on a white guy. That's what's going to happen soon. They're taken over. They're number one Beijing is winning pretty soon. There will be nail salons with

American white women working in japan. Oh, I can't that is going to happen and also happy endings by women named karen Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what I know that's true because now hollywood is making movies for that market, right? That's like always will the chinese market like it, right? So I just feel like, you know, um, it's good for me As an asian, you know comedic actor. Yeah, because I'm gonna start getting I feel like more shit Yeah, because they need to put you know, I mean and you also look so fucking good and young It's unfortunate. You look so fucking good. You look I mean, I've been following your career since mad tv You look the same You don't age my god. You look great. How old are you 50 67?

No, I you're magical. Well, I'm uh I'm 49 years old. You look how old are you? Um 45 years old. Oh, wow. Yeah, would you say that you look older? Um I would say I look a lot younger if you think about my career You'd be like, what is he done? You'd be like, oh, he's is he 15, right? But if nobody was a Right if nobody is a comedy, right people that know that we were comedians, right? And you took a headshot of yours all of mine, right? And you just you know, do a you know scientific, you know, I mean

Poll yeah, right. Who do you you think that? Well, I have a theory on this I think that knowing what someone does for a living either ages them or Makes them appear younger. So just by virtue of you guys being comics Automatically in my mind. I read younger. Yeah, yeah, because you perform young. Yeah No, honestly, I because I watch your stand-up on like, you know on youtube and like, you know, whatever your post or whatever I'll always watch your bits and stuff like that and I'll go. Wow. Yannis performs young. You know what I mean? Um, you perform young too. Almost too young. Yeah, like almost too young. Yeah, there's there's um

I mean, I've had like comics like Alley Wong or people and then you don't have to cut this out say, um grew up You know what I mean? Like I've had comics go like dude, you're almost 50. Like I love it your game You know what I mean? Because you're like you took the mic and you farted right into it You know what I mean? I know but I don't laugh. That would never not be cute. It's I think the fart is actually the comedy god Yeah, that we're all chasing the fart. Yeah, I follow an instagram account called just farts And it's just a black screen and every day they he just posts submissions Of people farting. I did a show in San Diego. The what's it called American comedy company?

Yeah, and they have they have this poll You know like, you know I want what do you call them a pipe a pipe because you know, it's like exposed like an industrial Right, so there's an exposed pipe and I got completely naked on stage. It was packed, right? It was the best and I flipped backwards. What you know, I had my underwear on my panties on. Yeah. Yeah, but I had a stack But a correction but a sack slipped out No, my panties are very very okay. Go ahead. It didn't slip out It didn't it did but and um, I was flipping back. I was up hanging from it upside down

What you're not cutting this out. I know why you're looking at him. You know, I mean, it's like johnny don't slip out today I don't know what I'm gonna do. You know, so did you get in trouble for it? No, I've had I've had discussions Let's just say that I've had like, you know one guy in Kansas City Yeah, one club owner. I'm not kidding you goes Oh, can you come into my office? And I went in and he goes, you know, um I'm a devout born again christian

And good for you He's like and what you did on stage was like, um, just not it goes against, you know, I mean You know the club's policies and what we're about I go, oh, I'm just gonna keep doing it. I don't I don't know what you're He's like, well, then we're gonna have to pray about it So I got on my hands and knees I held his hands like this and sucked his dick And the story and the story He was a christian. I know he wanted it. That's what he was hiding. They always want. Oh god. I wish I should have I mean, do they check who they're looking like he didn't know that that's closer. Well some like virginia beach, um,

Funny bone. I think that's what it's called. Have you played there? No. Yeah, so they I played it one time I did great numbers and they just said and they called my agent said, yeah, I mean he did great in business It will never come back Hartford funny bone will never have me back. So there's just some clubs columbus. Uh, I think it's a funny bone as well I think it's just the funny bones. They just they just kind of go we it's not for us. Yeah, you know what I mean? So, um, you know, you win some you lose some, you know, yeah But I like that you've committed to you you committed to the your art and you haven't changed You don't you want to adapt for them? It's I doubt there's no other way to do it. No, you know, the only way to do

Performance is to be authentically myself. It's like asking us right now podcasting. Hey, you can't say this You can't say that it's that that's not the reason why I do it Right, I mean the whole purpose of it is to say whatever I want to say and to express Express myself and the way I want to express it and that's it. That's what makes TV comedy so good is it's uncensored I don't tell you what to say ever and they just let the comedian bleed. Yeah. Yeah, I mean in in those circumstances That's why podcasts can't compete. Yeah, what's your TV? Yeah But in those are how many central two they're doing a great job of right, right? Yeah Yeah, it's like, you know when I did a long time ago when I did Leno, they were like

You know just after years, you know, because they watch you perform at the clubs And then after you get up stage they give you a list of these notes Right, and then you got to go you can't do that. You can't say that you can't say that whatever it might be And obviously, you know, you're a young guy and you're like, you know what? I have to do it. That's that those are the rules, right? And then um, and then when you're on a tv show and like a lot of comics will get on a tv show And they'll do a table read and then they'll announce this isn't funny

Right while the writing staff is in there. I'm a comic. I know and it probably isn't right But it's like, you know as a comic, it's not really supposed, you know, I mean, it's never going to be Your brand, right? Yeah, it's going to be a watered-down corporate Version of what comedy is supposed to be And so you just go if they weren't paying you, I wouldn't do it, right? But they're paying you so much fucking money You bite your tongue You say these lines. I've said lines where I would cringe. Yeah, right? I go, oh

Oh, but you just and you you know, I know comics that have said I'm not saying that It's not funny, but it's just not my job You know, it's corporate comedy. That's why I think it's so funny that like Comedians podcasts are just killing everyone's watching them and it's just comedians with no script really nothing just being funny It's like that's all it really takes. Yeah, in other words, they were just getting in the way of like a good show Yeah, yeah You know like when you got a show sold it was like, okay, if you guys just leave I can do it And people will like it. They're like, no, it's not and then like that's what's happening now. Yeah

It's like that's why it it's beating even like morning I mean, have you ever done a like you've done the road, right? Yeah, well, you've done morning radio Have you ever had have you ever had one a morning radio show that said hey? Can you just write out some questions to set up your material? They do that. Yeah. Yeah, they do that. They read your Wikipedia page. I mean, it's brutal. Yeah, it's brutal It's brutal. Yeah, so one time I went to a morning news and I they go. Yeah, the DJ wants to know Questions that they can ask you just to do some of your act, right?

So hey, so your dad didn't like the fact you're doing comedy, right? Right, and then you would do your bit, right? And I just go I'm not doing that And the one radio show goes well, then you can't be on and I looked at the club a guy and I said, oh, let's leave I'm not doing that. That's what Byron Allen used to do. You did by that. Did you do Byron Allen? I did. I refused to. Or he just fake laughs and he goes and they just sets up your Oh, you become a comic on leave. How many times did you do it? I did it once. Yeah, I just go I mean, it's so bad. It's bad. It's so bad. It's so inauthentic

And I think the only reason why people watch that at all is because they didn't have another option And now that they have another option of the internet which is unfiltered and comics do whatever they want to do It's like now you can see it. Now you see how contrived it is But before you we were just conditioned to be like that's entertainment It's same thing the same thing with like when you saw a late night set, you know before Cable and then def comedy gem. You're like that is not comedy. That's common. Yeah. Yeah. Now the internet's open even further It's you know what it's it's in many ways. I mean every way I think In the internet, you know has um

saved my career Yeah, would you if if you would you sacrifice anything for your podcast? Like if it got in the way of your podcast Would you say no? What's your number? Oh the number. Yeah, what's your number to be like? Hey, you're gonna have to walk away from your podcast for It's funny that you asked me that because um I feel like I could give you a number. Yeah, but But if it actually did happen I don't think I'd be able to live with it right because you're having so much fun with this

Right. I don't know that I'm having fun with it right Not this episode. No. No. No. I love no this is one of the funnest ones I've done and that's not the point The point is is that you know, there are a lot of times where it's like Oh, I gotta do another one. It's almost like what's the price for your freedom? Right? Or like you're for me. It's priceless. Oh, it is. It's priceless. So I somebody said I'll give you 10 million a year No taxes And you just can never podcast again. Oh, it hurts. Can I jerk off on it?

Yeah, I gotta I mean think of your daughter. Yeah. Yeah, I mean think of the her future. Well, what is it? What's the show? How about a comedy sports show? I had a comedy show. I know that's why yeah No, no, no the show that we also a TV show the TV show that you're doing is um, you're doing um, alt-right comedy Yeah, so it's strictly alt-right. So it's america one. What's that? What's that? Uh, new news network they have america one or whatever it might be With um proud boy sketch hour Right. Yeah. It's something like that, right? So it's you tell me lauren, right? It's a sitcom, right?

multi-camera and Ben Shapiro you Tommy lauren Candace Owens, Candace Owens, right? Well, she's a white supremacist. You're right. Yeah. Yeah You have to at least give them credit the nazis at least had their admissions process has gotten very progressive. Yeah Yeah, they were Candace Owens are married, right? You're the you're the neighbor, right? You're the you know because back in it was it um the jefferson's was it the jefferson's where they had the black and white couple next door, right? And that was the so like revolutionary. Yeah back in the day, right? So you're the same thing, right? They're doing the jefferson's but reverse and so you're the white white and black couple and then like

Tommy lauren and uh, what's the other christa? Stefano ben superior. Can I cast my good friend's christa? Yes, no, you know what that's better. He has to be in it. You ain't christa Stefano. Yes Fuck as fuck. Candace Owens. Yes, you guys are a gay married couple conservative gay married You know, yeah, but the jokes are always about how you guys are going to go to hell and all that, right? Yeah, and uh every You're out of the scenes always. All right. Bye. And then you have to kiss each other on the lips Right, okay, right and you have to put your leg a leg up like that and you have to prance out of the room You have to do that 23 episodes a year 10 million dollars. Wow. You mean a year

You can never podcast again. Would you do it? Fuck and syndication god. That's syndication money, too Yeah, you get syndication and it's like a hit in utah and whatnot. Yeah shows a hit in asia in asia Slovakia, you know weird places. Okay But it's still the translates to good money. Yeah I'm gonna well, what's my podcast doing? What kind of numbers are we doing a history hyena level? Yeah, no way I'm walking away. I'm sticking with history. Oh, wow. Yeah walked away. Wow, because I know I believe in it your level My level the one that you're doing. Give me five million. Give me one Give me 20 grand and I won't listen turn around

We're gonna help you. Yeah From today on no the show's going good. It's going. I know it is but I I'm sure it's doing great. Yeah, this is gonna help it You know and I'm we're gonna help it even more but my point is this you know my goal in life right now, right? I know we're gonna have the other guy in the He's coming in two weeks a couple weeks a couple weeks, right and I decided right now, but yeah, it's undecided. Yeah Yeah, don't forget. Don't worry. It's coming from the day off But what my goal is to build yours right to be above history of hyenas. Let's do it

Wait, are we are we officially team me honest then? Yes. Well, keep in mind. Chris has two people on his right? He only has one so we're that's true because I'm santino is a team to Stefano, right? Oh, wow bad friends display it when chris comes here. Can we all wear team me honest? Do you have merch? Do you have merch that we can wear? I don't have merch yet. We'll make yeah Yeah, we'll make can we make or get me a medium team me honest You know, we'll never pick it up. Everyone wears one. Oh, please do it. It'll be funny. It'll be great. That'll be very funny I hate conflict like But hold up. He's gonna see this. He's gonna know about it. You have to do it secretly you have to cut this part out

It's like my parents. All right. You're right. Yeah, we're cutting this part out. Yeah, all right. So put that into things Yeah, so let's this is kind of get cut out. So yeah, we're team me honest. That would be very funny. Yeah, it'll be funny, right And that can we do this too? Can we do this? Have a framed headshot. Yeah, let's get it in the back In the back in the back. We'll have one back there too. One more thing. Yeah. Yeah, we open Right. Yeah, like an ad read Lugging yon is the show. Oh, that'd be great. Yeah But here's you got to get him in here first so he doesn't see you in the shirts before the episode starts

Right, and then it goes like this. Yeah, um this pod this episode is sponsored by Long long days. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, we also this is how we do it. This is how we do it Very we were hoodies zip up hoodies. Yeah, so the t-shirts will be team yonna We'll come in with zippy. You have a hoodie, right? Y'all have hoodies. Yeah, nothing, you know And then right when we should we unzip, right? And then at that point as soon as we unzip You will go because these pictures will be covered. You take you take them off. You take them off, right? We have handsome photos. You know what I mean of yonna. Yonna's playing tennis likes pizza. Oh, yeah. Yeah with your mom So I think we should do that. Yeah, we'll do it. No, we'll if we do that. Will it be mad?

No, he doesn't get mad at anything. He doesn't have any he doesn't have any real feelings. Yeah It's a joke now. It's just he nights comedy Yeah, but I feel like me and you could go down to the tennis court and if I you know We could pretend to be michael chang and oh my god. All right Do you play do you really play? No, I do you play for real? I can play probably as good as you though He says he doesn't play just because I'm a former. I'm like a real athlete. I used to be a real athlete What kind of athlete? Um, I was the gymnast and swimmer. No, I was a basketball player. I played basketball. Oh nice. So I could pick it up. Yeah

Yeah, the bobby's still as long as there is a ball involved. He's very coordinated. Yeah, probably is bobby a good athlete He is surprisingly the best athlete. He is an amazing Um ice skater Ice skater ping pong champ tenon ping pong swimmer everything. Uh varsity wrestling varsity wrestling Fuck I misread the whole situation. I just got myself Deep shit. I just challenged the great bobby. Leave a fucking tennis michael chang. Holy shit Fuck did I fuck up? I'm gonna let it go. I thought maybe ping pong. I'm gonna let it go Maybe pickleball. Maybe ping pong go fuck yourself. You know, that's what I was thinking. I don't you honest respect asian life

Let me ask you about that. Yeah, you know is I do not do hate crimes If that's where we've been and I respect yeah If there's a lot going on in new york because I don't see a lot in la there's stuff going on in there is Yeah, yeah, there it is. It is happening. It's unfortunate. It's horrible It's horrible and it's also equally as horrible that people on the internet like use it and they'll be like tie it to some bigger cause It's like no dude. It's just like doesn't matter who's doing it. Yeah, it's like people are doing it and it's bad Yeah, yeah, I any old person, you know, if you're gonna, you know smack a old person or kick an old person regardless of race You're a piece of fucking shit. He's a shit

piece of shit and it does seem to be targeted towards asians which is worse And it's bad. It's all I mean, it's hard to quantify what makes it worse Like that's what people on the internet are going like almost if it wasn't a hate crime They're going like, okay, so it wasn't we shouldn't be upset about it if like the U.S. Olympian And she's a female, but she's representing the the U.S. and tokyo olympics, but she's a karate champion she got um She got some guy just harassing her in the park while she was training

And i'm looking at this guy like you dumb motherfucker if she could just if she just decided to unload on you Yeah, like she is an olympic karate champion. Yeah, but she was she was like, excuse me. Just back up. What do you say? You know, like she was so nice about I was like, oh, fuck man. Yeah, I you know, I have I I'm just I think I'm waiting for it I think I kind of want it. What are we gonna do? I'm gonna run away No, it's just it's not that I like because when I was at the 7-11 and I saw a guy walking with no mask Yeah, and I saw a big to-do about it. I mean you guys are he was you screaming at everyone You guys swallow the pill. You know what I mean? It's a hawk. So whatever I'm I when I witness it. It's like, oh fuck. It's real. Yeah, you know, I'm a part of it

Or I'm I'm witnessing it for the first, you know, we even thought at the dmv Right Yeah, that some ladies show up with no mask and you knew that she was a Karen and she was about to start Karen'd out and I love like being kind of You know among that I saw both in my two days in LA I saw one lady coming to the hotel without the mask and the woman and the lady behind the desk as nice So she goes just so you know in the common areas you could wear you have to wear masks Um, and do you need another one and she was like do you have one like kind of like give me one?

Like she was me and then she was like Do you need another one for the other person who's in the car? And she was like there's no law that kids have to wear masks She's like, okay. Yeah, you're right And then I was walking down the street without the mask like on an empty street And some guy was like, where's your mask buddy? It's like that. Yeah, that's right. You don't care about people It's like dude, there's like nobody around in vaccinated. I have COVID. Yeah, you know, I do care about like So I there's douches on both sides

1,000 percent corona didn't do a good enough job Yeah, it should have taken me out. Yeah. Yeah, I don't do corona is one of those ones. It's like you kind of wish it was worse Hey, yeah teetered on like like it just said, you know corona um failed in it's like Are you gonna cancel corona? I'm not trying to cancel corona, but I want to critique it a little bit I know what you're saying. It came in too many varieties. No, but also not enough damage. I don't think you know what I mean Some varieties were damaged. No, like it should have liquefied something. Yeah Like if you got COVID and you're like your lungs one lung got liquefied and you shit it out I think more people like oh fuck. Yeah, I mean it didn't do enough to you know, I mean it killed a lot

I and I and and and God bless you Herman Cain and all the other ones. You know, I mean, I'm sorry, right? But where you're fucking mask. You know, there's a fucking pandemic, right? So um You know, it just I wish Not I'm not quite a bola It didn't want COVID to be like a bowl. No, what are you looking at? Keep going. What are you? Why are you analyzing me? You seem like a chef How to devise the worst is he was kill people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

A little bit of a ball, huh? He was like whatever a foodie is for viruses. Yeah, it wasn't quite. Yeah It's a little off a little heavy. It made me a little hiv, right? But something a little bit more dangerous I think they would have made more of an impact. That's all scared more people great. Yeah great disease though It was great, but not if it was worse, there wouldn't be this divide. There wouldn't be a political dive. That's what I'm saying That's exactly what I know. Um, I'd be willing to bet that At this in this climate, we'd be we'd be able to politicize something as hemorrhagic as Ebola. Nice word What what do you mean? Because it's like that's how horrible

Things are here that it doesn't matter how like like how devastating a disease I just think we'd be able to politicize it somehow. I just feel like that's what Americans are doing with everything Also, what you're saying to me right now is that even if let's say cover COVID was a little bit more dangerous Yeah, right that we would still politicize politicize. Yeah, you're right. That's a good point. Yeah What if it was like Ebola though? I'd say Ebola Ebola was rough, but it wasn't as contagious. That's why Yeah, it's Ebola was the Beatles of diseases. They were the where the program. Yeah, you know, it still exists Yeah, no, they're amazing. What an amazing disease. So you're saying COVID's like the monkeys Yeah, you're gonna go to bands. Yeah, COVID is like the monkey or like, you know, um, a what hit one hit wonder

Yeah, yeah, uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah, it's like uh-huh, right and then the flu The flu is the stones the stones. Yeah, it'll always be good Good call. Yeah evergreen. Good call evergreen. Yeah, exile on main street. Yeah, very Great. Yeah, you can listen to that any year and anytime Christmas summer doesn't matter, right? So that's what the flu is. Yeah, the common cold is like, you know What indie band like an indie band? No Common cold has been around for a long time It's like it's like elevator elevator music Kenny Rogers. No, Bing Crosby. Oh, Bing Crosby. Yeah

When you're an elevator, right and Bing Crosby's playing you don't really go. Oh, Bing Crosby and start dancing to it It's just a part of the noise of the environment. Yeah, I know you're really into Christmas songs. I don't give a fuck about I am. Yeah, it's a big You know, you could have also told my mom you were yawning the composer could have done that as well less believable though Why why why those are my calves? How beautiful they are they look they look muscular and athletic Yeah, I've never seen yawning. Yawning's not as if I'm yawning as a calves online. I'm hot. Pete Sampras is hot It's true. So that's more believable. Is he still with Bridget Wilson? I think so. Yeah I want to see Pete Sampras now because I think he might be full bald and that will just be

Jarring to see because we haven't he disappeared after tennis to get bald. Yeah, and like raises kids and he never even did like What do you call those? Like, you know, they podcasts. No, he hasn't happened The friend he never did the friendlies. No, he didn't do that exhibition. That's yanni. You know, that's yanni You know what? I just you know, you know, maybe feel Funny my mom loves yanni. She loves I bet you yanni's calves have never been googled Have you ever thought of like different things that's never been googled? Yanni's calves have never been googled never Yeah, I don't even think it's ever. There's no way it's there. Yeah, it's not it's not But look at him now yanni without the mustache where that's him. Yeah. Oh, he looks like richard and mirris

He's the night stalker everybody Yeah, he's cute Nice nose. That's actually an amazing thing that you just came up with something that had never been googled. It's almost impossible It's almost yeah, yeah, let's try to think of stuff that's never been googled. Yeah, hang on yanni. Well, yeah, we already did yanni So difficult Let's see thinking of something that's never been googled is so difficult. History hyenas breaking up was a good idea I bet you it's never been said history of hyenas Probably break up though

Break up. No, it was a good idea. Oh, I love how people just already have the uh Stuff going on, but that's cool Who would he talk about on whitney? Oh, real hyenas If led zeppelin was a comic who would it be? Oh, that's a great question because they're great, but also If led zeppelin was a carlos mancia. No, okay, because they stole their songs. Did they yeah, that's the thing about led zeppelin Did you know that in spain?

It's a big thing. Honestly dude. Yeah, you're about to make me so fucking mad. I know. I know it's a tough thing I've never heard that before. It's crazy in my life. Yeah, so what you're saying to me is that they went around to like I don't know they shoved clubs and heard a song and they said let's write a song like that. Yeah Yeah, that's what I'm saying to you Bobby. I'm here to break your heart. Which ones, you know, it breaks my heart. It's rough If you google it a lot of them. They took folk songs. They took riffs. They took lyrics And they just stole them. Did you talk about this? Yeah, I mean it there's tons of them. Oh, john bayez. Oh, they really I love rar

And when you rough, there's a compilation that you can watch on the internet. It's like a very long compilation and it's clear There it is. Yeah, you know what? That's heartbreaking. You know that, you know, robin williams stealing is heartbreaking You know what I mean? But could I ask you something? Does it matter? I mean, let me just and I say that in in in this sense. Okay is is that robin williams Obviously, he stole what you're warning. Are you warning me not to to tread lightly? No, and that's not what it is Whenever you touch me whenever you touch me, I think you're going watch your word

I'm not I'm not allowed to touch my lover. Yeah. Yeah. So I just believe that because robin williams is such a Enigma in terms of performing right? No one performed like them right. He didn't steal That style of performing of just going out in the audience and doing shakespeare out of nowhere and the energy and you know, I mean He was amazing The talent was off the chart off the charts off the charts and as an actor, obviously There's no question incredible I'm up there with the best actors in the world doing blow one of the best Best guys doing blow. Yeah, right

And I'm going to say oh, I was I don't know why I was inside. I was like, yeah, do it. No, come on It's not funny. Okay. Yeah And in terms of like the Michael Jackson self. Okay, what are the best? Louie body dementia Yeah, I knew it was funny It's funny than the Michael Jackson You know Led Zeppelin, let's move on. Led Zeppelin Led Zeppelin is one of those bands where it's like, I don't know if I care

It's tough. Do you care? No, I did when I found out and then I I You have to use some cognitive dissonance to let it go Because the voice is silky fucking smooth. Yeah, and they made the songs better Led Zeppelin versions of the folk folk music is shit. Yeah, it's for white people doing mushrooms Yeah, who are like wearing tie-dye and think that fucking seashells are worth as much as diamonds They need to be executed by covet also like when you see in the yeah, exactly Right. Yeah, exactly. And in the 60s when I see movies and or like little snippets of beatniks And they used to ding ding ding and and that's whole scene

Fuck fuck those people. Fuck those people. Fuck those. I would you have gone what I've gone? No I feel like I would have voted republic and called them dirty People, but you know what they would where they're like black, you know, I mean like turtle necks Yeah, and they would have that funny like, you know, dolly, you know, maybe a dolly mustache And they'd be in some sort of cellar. I know he would have gone I feel like that's what you did. What that's what Andres did He would show up to these types of events and pretend like you did exact same thing He would be with a book and a chessboard. No, not Andres Bobby. Bobby would do that. Oh, he's a poser

This is like finding out led zeppelin stall I want my bobby lee naked. I want him eating his own shit and drinking his own piss And I want him fucking climbing a pole and having the police called admit to what You went through a phase of wanting to be the dolly guy wanting to walk around with like Dostoevsky and like a chessboard and Smoking cigarettes like, you know, Ernest Hemingway in Cuba. You know, that's what that didn't happen That's that's exactly the look you were going for for a while. Okay. Let me just say something to you lady You're saying Bobby had a bill Hicks face Let me just say something to you lady, okay

You're referring to the the time in my life where I played chess All right, and I What's so funny, man? I've never seen Andres laugh that hard before where I played chess. I walk around with a chessboard And I'll tell you the reason why what books were you? I'll tell you the reason why I'll tell you why I'll tell you the reason why I fucking carried a chessboard lady because I fucking played it But what were you carrying that you? Yes. Okay. All right. So I would What skateboard were you holding that you never can I interject just for carrying the chessboard?

Even if you played little pretentious That's a little would you put in a bag? I wouldn't carry it around We're just challenging random strangers. No, but you sit down and twirl your mustache and go. Do you play? I'm sorry yuppie I'm sorry. Yuppie. Hey, that's below the belt. Yuppie. Let me just say something to you. Okay You know a lot of us at there was a time. I didn't have a car I would walk from my house to the coffee shop Casbah cafe pacific beach circa

1992 didn't you say you went to private school as a kid? I heard that no, I went to public school I had a group in a country club. Yes. So why don't you just make up with your parents then? Because they went they went bankrupt after I graduated from my school. All right if you want to get personal What happened if you want to I'm gonna tell you about it. All right. My point is is this all right I would go from my house this apartment I lived in to go to the coffee shop and I would carry the chessboard number two. Yes. I read I carried around books I went so, you know What nothing I'm Alan Ginsberg. She didn't fall in love with that bobby. That's what that look was

You see that look was like you almost like it was like Yeah, like yeah, I want my like the wine was a little yeah my grimy little perfect little I bobby lee with dick cheese. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, she loves you love dick cheese. Yeah. There was a dick cheese There was a bookstore Okay D g wells is what it was called Right next to the panicking cafe where I worked. Okay after work Dennis

Who owned the book store was a friend of mine? Right and he would have people hang out there Okay, one of them was Alan Ginsberg. Wow. Okay Okay, another one was like Hohner S. Thompson used to go there like a lot of people used to go there and they just sit around Smoke cigars and they would chat in this little courtyard, right? And I was always invited in he always knew me to come on in bobby They loved me because I was like they're funny little china china man

Okay, I used to come in right with my chessboard and make people laugh right and they used to thought so Yes, I never read their books Right, but they would sign things for me. I would carry it around as if you know what I mean I did that do that Is that what you're trying to say? Yeah What are you saying? It's the same reason why you carried around a skateboard. You couldn't skate

Because I was hanging out with skaters And one of the people to think that I could ollie and do all the stuff which I never could We all go through fate like I when I grew up I you know, I used to try to act Puerto Rican Yeah, there we go. Yeah. Yeah. You did Puerto Rican face? Yeah, even before the character even before marisa. I like I could put a rican guy Yeah, I was hip-hop, you know, I was in the hip-hop. I kind of tried to act black I was dance break dancing and stuff like that right because you want to feed it

You know, but you could actually break dance. I could dance good. Yeah better than some of my black friends I could dance but the kids thought I could skateboard because what I would do is take my brand new skateboard and I would You know what I mean scuff it up Like I was doing real slides Right, I would right and do the reverse like I did a dark slide or whatever. You would fuck up your own skateboard I would fuck up my own skateboard and then carry around like yeah, man, I just did 60 flip on the fucking curb over there, you know, man, and I'll kiss oh cool do it now. No, I'm I you know my

He's a legend You didn't do anything like that to fit in ever like with you You thought you were mexican in high school. Yeah as a teenage. I was the first rachel dola's all like you came in like what's up Is I went so far as to Learn spanish to a hundred percent. You know spanish a hundred percent. Yeah, because I was mexican all throughout high school I was going through such an identity crisis that I was just you know, I was an essa So you can't give him shit. I can't thank you. Yeah, but thank you

I could speak spanish and I went to all the quinceaneras and I know how to dance But you're not you're not you're not I know but what I'm saying. I'm not a reader But I carried the books Very good defense Right because I'm trying to fit into my environment. Yeah, this brings up a good point Is it is that any worse or better than what rachel dola's all did all she did was that Richard does she's the woman who pretended to be black black She had the dreads on she worked within the community to kind of in like let me see a photo

Yeah, she pretended. I know black people. I'll tell you if she's black. Yeah, she also identified Well, you thought she identified as black and she pretended. Amos Lee was black. Yes He's Yes, definitely say give me the photo Oh, let me zoom up a second. That's so so that's how she was born and that's you got to do full body picked up Because she's got a fat ass and I think does she that's her. I think that's how she fooled a lot of black guys Okay, the number the the two different people It's the same lady. It's the same lady. Holy

shit I love it. The black rachel does has a lot hotter than the white one. I know that's what she did it. Yeah. Yeah So she got in trouble for that Yeah, well, yeah, she got in trouble because she had a job at the NAACP was pretending to be black And she also went to an all-black. She went to Howard, right? Or she went to an all-black school and she got in by saying she was black Yeah, well, you don't have to be black to get into the school But so she would have to perm her obviously permed her own hair. Yeah, and then she

It's really funny. She's really a newbie in queen. Yeah, she's a newbie queen. That's not black So what do you do you think what she did was okay? At first you go and maybe but then what bigger homage what more love can you have? Exactly. What more progressive thing can you do? Yeah, then become You know someone who's a press or a minority or something like you know and also Michael Jackson did it in reverse He didn't reverse. So you're saying we misread her. I know she shouldn't have been cancelled I'm double thinking whether we should have cancelled because there actually is a conversation. Isn't that what's happening now? It's like

How you identify is is Is that something that we should question in people? Exactly. It's very straight or maybe she just got dicked So good by a black dude that it turned her Like a vampire turned her black. Yeah, maybe good black dick can do that We didn't mean I'm black then You didn't have to say that in front of us. Oh, yeah, my ex was a black guy for five years. He vampirated her. Was it good? Yeah Did you turn or no? Did you find yourself waking up going? That's a picture of me right there

Did you wake up like humming boys men in the morning? My high school was predominantly black and latinos. We didn't have white kids in our school So after you banged them did your house smell like incense and lotion? Did you put vassals? Well, yeah, that's interesting. I you know, that's an interesting question. Um She should be can't is she cancelled right now? Oh, she got cancelled big time original. Yeah, she was big time cancelled And did she go revert back to white or is she still look the same? No, she's still this is why I respect her. Yeah She's still insisting. She's black

I love even though black people are pissed her. They did a whole document. She did a whole documentary. It was a great documentary by the way What's it called? Rates of dollars. I was I want to I want to watch it. Yeah, I think it's on f. It's a great doc where she's still insisting She's black. She identifies as black. That's what it is. She's black. She's standing by she's fucking standing by which makes me believe like Yo, maybe she's black or just let her in or just let her in at this point. She's committed to it Yeah, when somebody commits to that for that long, just let him in. She's like fucking Daniel Day Lewis. Yeah Yeah, she's fucking if I saw a white guy with a mushroom black haircut right

and just you know, he you know Did his eyes like this put through like makeup or uh, you know tape Right That's a tape And he you know had you put buck teeth in All right, just listen. Just listen to my point before you go crazy. Well, can I oh, I might something might help you if I show you No, no, and he goes hey, my name is uh ling ling And I go, what's up? And I knew he was white, but he was trying so hard

After a couple years I've just been like, yeah, all right ling ling. You're trying out or whatever. Well, here's a real case This is also a discussion after rachel. This was the guy in florida There's a white trans man who identifies as filipino. Yeah, we talked about that He's not pulling it off. He's not pulling it off. That's my point Yeah, but look at him it to to kind of just play devil's act if we can hear I don't know if the guy who's taping his eyes every morning is pulling it off either or no But he gets surgery. Yeah, he gets surgery to make his eyes look like that, right? This this person really um bugs me because not

It's because the filipino community would just take him in and say it's all good. They would yeah You want to be us? You're us. Yeah, why don't why can't that be the world that we live in? Yeah, they teach them physical therapy Yeah, bring them in to the crowd A lot of filipinos are physical therapists. I'm going back Really? Yeah, a lot of nurses a lot of nurses in the medical field. Yeah It's an interesting fucking question That's a group you don't want to be racist against because at some point they will be taken care of you Yeah, oh, yeah. What a fucking mistake. That is that would be a mistake. Like my my my sister had a

27 year old Patient and he was going into liver failure. He eventually passed but basically he had like a swastika on his forehead And every single my sister is a tall very dark girl. She's very very olive skin and black hair. Yeah And he was calling her all sorts of names all sorts of names calling all the black nurses all sorts of names And they just kind of just grinned and bared it and took care of this kid That's how how difficult is that? Yeah, like if you you're honest if you and I were nurses Yeah, and some and some guy was like fuck the greek you fuck you guys are a bunch of fucking white monkeys or whatever and then

The chinks and all that stuff. How difficult would that be that? I think you're just fucking pitching a movie doc me and you karate. We karate them We're like, yeah karate them. It's called karate them like we I like I'm chris tucker. You're fucking jackie chan. I like that movie. What are you calling it karate them karate them karate? We fucking karate them dude. We go through the whole hospital Fucking them up. Yeah. Yeah, very Japanese. That is I would like that premise Me you me you and christa stefano. Is he in it? No, no, I have to cast that No, no, he's on it because I know his tv shows not gonna work out. Me you kevin heart

Me you kevin heart, right? Yeah, and put gabriel glacis in it. We're all nurses Yeah A fucking kkk guy is our you know our patient, right? And he spouts out all kinds of shit I think there's a premise there. Absolutely, right? Maybe at the end we forgive him I know what you did there. I know what you did there Okay, I pitched a great movie a buddy cop movie. Yeah, but you looked at me and you said It doesn't have enough star power Then you proceeded to say kevin heart and you just pulled up you said, okay, you got it

Yanni's the guy with the idea because I can't sell it. Yeah, I can't sell it with just you Can't sell it. I know it and I don't even know about you honest. I don't know You would have left history hyenas, too I did do that I I apologize. Yeah, you did do that. Oh my god, even though, you know, I'm the guy right and you know me and you would cure You're still in the fucking movie. I'm still in this room. I know I was in my head. I'm like, you know, we've got to keep them and we'll give them a couple lines Yeah, let's bring in kevin and gabriel. Dude. He's totally fucking hijacked my shit

You go sell it and you'd be like you'd be like, dude, I'll give you pay off. Yeah, I'll give you producer No, I want to be in it, man. I want to fight for it. It's like fly. Stallone did for rocky But you have to still read for it. Come on Here's my idea. You can't just give your body that you can't take it You can't replace me with gabriel glacius. That's fucked up. You know what? Here's what we'll do. Here's what we'll do You replace me with alley wong. No, no It'll sell big and here's what we'll do. Okay You and I will write it. Yeah, both producers. Yeah

I'll give you co-lead Thank you. I'm gonna get ep credit because this was really my idea talking about my sister, right? You'll make you we'll make you love interest, but I want to ep and that's it I don't want to be on screen But we will you'll have some sort of disability in the movie. Okay. I like it. I'm listening where you don't have to talk that much Okay, as long as like you have a daughter, right? And then we always cut you off. Yeah, you go Shut up, johnny. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. Johnny finish or yeah, or we finish your sentences I like that. Okay. As long as it's explained you go

And we go don't call him that. Yeah Yeah, yeah, like if the ride it'd be a good scene a funny scene if the bad guy's coming I could Tell you I can't say it. Yeah, and then he comes but then you fucking karate it you turn around Wait, let me ask you something. Yeah Let me ask you something the movie's called karate And I want why do I got a karate know because you're the lead dude. It's time to do your asian Respect asian

No, you're the lead. There's no karate in there, man. I have a bad story. There's no karate. How are you gonna fucking kill the bad guys? poison And you're gonna come working kind of fucking action scene is that dude? We're trying to sell this in asia You're already taken an oath. No because the movie is this right? We're we think about killing him right, but then he's drugged out, right? And he starts popping out that there's some treasure or something he buried some group of some money, right? So then we're like we can't kill him because of the fact that we want to he's talking about something that we can get Right, so our whole goal is to get it out of him, right, right? And then it becomes a road movie

We we we break him out who plays that guy. Who's the racist guy? Oh god. That's so many good people. Yeah, we can get who uh um Michael Rappaport Michael Rappaport play great. He's perfect. Krista Stefano. He's like great to He is out. I'm trying. He's out. I'm trying to get him in with you. Yeah. I don't want you to cancel off You know what that'd be nice. Yeah Yeah Oh, here's what it is. Okay. Here's what the movie is, right? We have a guy kkk guy, right older guy

He starts popping off that at the compound We they had buried you know me. Oh golden You know me nazi You know artifact sure that's worth a lot of money, right? And so uh hitler's dick mold The mold of hitler's dick. Yeah, and how much gold it's like the head of it is a diamond piece Right, and the you know, it's like this, you know Um jade the nut sack is j. Oh, well pure jade though precious. Yeah, and precious stones. Yes, you know, it's a

Faber-j Faber-j made it. Yeah, you know what I mean in the in the mid 1900s. No the balls are faber-j What ball he had one ball he had one ball one ball faber-j Opened like a faber-j egg. Yes inside. It was like a golden swatka Right. Wow, or the secret on how to get rid of all the jews. No We got a little that what's going on. I'm joking. My name's That was a joke, right? Maybe it's like described in golden letters in papyrus Right, yeah, and maybe we have to get it to destroy it because the germans christofano

chris the seven was trying to get it to get rid of the jews We're the good guys right with the good guys So we're trying to get to the secret to kill all the jews and destroy it. So this this golden artifact Solid gold. Yeah sack one sack is a faber-j egg that we open Then there's a message in there, right that we're trying to get to to destroy right to destroy We also want to sell the object too. We'll go to pawn stars. We got to make a couple dollars Because that will be the sequel we we want to destroy but then we make money and then there'll be a sequel because it's still out there

So christofano plays The the lead no like the hitler youth Did the hitler youth that that runs the compound right because it kind of looks like that it does I want to pitch a backstory about how your tongue got cut off Okay, because you're not speaking a lot in this whole thing, right? Oh, yeah, I thought it was just going to be samurai sword from bobby Listen, we're gonna do rewrites on this when we do it right and you're gonna be a part of it, right? I want to hear any asian. No, no, stop. I just want to say this This is what this discussion you want you and I have on the side because he's a writer. He's a director

Listen, I know that yannis is throwing out these notes and it's some of his ideas that have a lot to do with asia He wants him to wear off ninja outfit, right as a nurse, which is ridiculous He's the only nurse wearing a right, right? And he you know, he has like samurai outfit that you know when we go to the whatever But just you know Shoot him down when he brings it down. Yeah, shoot those down. Okay, so you work at a laundry man I thought I was a nurse with you at the at the hospital. Okay, but also your parents own a laundry mat That okay. All right. Yeah. Yeah. I said, yeah, yeah, shoot it down. Yeah. That's very good. I'm just throwing it out there So what's the sequel? Uh, so the sequel would be you're right. We pawn it

Everyone thinks we're the heroes, but then at the end we go, but wait a second. Do we really like to juice and we're unsure So we say let's make some money off this thing interesting Interesting we pawn it that way this thing is still in the world and part two That's when I grow my tongue back. I can talk I can get more lines. I make more money on the second sequel No, and we karate we do karate. I have to poison. This is it. Okay. Okay So we go and find the thing right we destroyed justifano, right? We finally have the thing when we at the end of the movie. Can I destroy? Yeah, of course

You're gonna let me oh, yeah, you write that in that's a tortoise. Just like yeah, okay. Thanks. Yeah, and so and we do mysner shit So it's gonna be real. Okay. Good. And so, um, I open up the egg, right? Yeah We open it up, right and in it is not the way to destroy the juice in it is the formula to make a time machine to go back to The Nazi Germany To go back in time and to be the schindlers, right and we're the schindlers Whoa, right. So us for me you Gabriel Iglesias, right? Yeah, I guess you could be in the movie too. Come on My tongue out with a samurai sword, right? You're not gonna say much anymore, right? And so me you kevin heart and Gabriel as we go back in time

To Nazi Germany and we try to destroy hitler. Yeah in the regime. Wow What do you think who plays hitler? Alley. Oh that alley Wong maybe. Yeah. Yeah. It's gotta be, um accurate Yes It's gotta be someone ethnic though, right because that's the time we live in that's the time we live in That's why alley would play it alley would be hitler and she can beat her personality can be a little hitler ish. Yeah Okay, so alley we'll have to cast it. We'll have to do auditions as well. Yeah, we'll cast it Yeah, we'll cast but we need a star. You can't just throw another me in there. Let's go bigger. Yeah, let's go

I'll go bigger than um, I would Matt Damon Meryl Streep Meryl Streep. That's nailed it. Yeah Nailed it. Imagine Meryl Streep as hitler nailed it. It's so good. Right? I'm already in oscar and that's something that you could google that no one's ever googled Meryl Streep as hitler I just thought of another one. Yeah, dude. Yanni's calves. Yeah, Meryl Streep as hitler was never been googled in his life Never, never. Can you please I mean if I there there's no way that's been good. Oh, wait. No, no, no No, she's gonna try it's gonna be because republicans call her hitler sometimes, right? Oh Yeah, oh, there is like there's real street and hitler in one photo. Yeah Yeah, oh

Fuck how about how about I think a better more believable hitler is Tilda Swinton Oh, yeah, that's just good acting. We had Tilda Swinton as hitler. That's a great suggestion. That's a great suggestion um Who's gonna play shinler? We get the fine shinler. Oh, you're going you're going. Oh a real the real shinler Before he did the list before he did the list throw Liam. Oh, yeah, I just yeah He has the same way. He knows how to do it right, but this is before he does the list Oh, do we offer it to Joe Rogan? So he can turn it down because we know we will yeah

Oh, yeah, well just yeah because we have to offer just as a respect just respect. Yeah. Yeah, he'll turn it down Let me just say this though Um, okay. He can play my part. We've never had you solo, right? Right. We're gonna have you back again We I really enjoyed I enjoyed this. I could talk forever with you. Yeah, this has been fun And if I lived in New York, can you come on my podcast? Not only that would I do that? Yeah If I lived in New York, I would start one with you and I wouldn't fuck you that's like somebody else. Nice I think you and I would have a good one. We'd have a great one. Yeah. Yeah, we'd have a great one I I just now I'm really confused as to how I break it to my mom that Pete is not downstairs

We break her down here really quick just to look no, I'll still keep pretending. She's gonna be like you're yeah She's gonna know as well How do I break it to her? It's gonna break her heart. No, it's not she you know She probably called all her friends in the Philippines. Oh my she sounded really excited on the phone with Pete Samper She probably already called my sister Roger. Here's what you do. We just stay with the lie I think we can't tell her So should we just you know what you and your niece and your family have to learn to just lie Because when we do a prank, they're the first ones to break

Oh, yeah, so what I'm this is a test for you right comedy works because of commitment Yeah, okay, and let me just say something, you know, and I know you you're not gonna want me to say this But um, you're a little hot product in the comedy world right now. Oh, go get to the question Hot product. Let's go. Let's go. No. Stop. Let me fucking say what I want to say because this is my podcast as well You're gonna make her sweat. All right. I wrote your coattails. I got a podcast I got a podcast because of that. Let's be real. Let's move on. No, you guys have great chemistry. You do. Yeah, do not move on Thank you. Let me say what I want to say because I have a voice as well Okay, you're a hot little number right now. Um, you know, you have people like

Whitney Cummings just like desperately wanting to talk to you and you have Esther and Annie who desperately Don't she only called. Don't she thought I was dumping you don't don't do what you're gonna do No, wait a second. You Annie Letterman is trying to contact you. No, she has a podcast with Annie Letterman With Annie Letterman? How the fuck did you pull that off? Yeah, exactly. They asked me you're a little hot product right now So what I'm saying to you is is that I believe that television is in the future To stop don't even say anything. Please because it hurts me. All right. I believe television is in the future You write a great tv show. So you're gonna be a producer on the show

And so I think that you're um the sky's the limit kid So do they at the end of our episodes we do At the end of the episode we do unhelpful advice. Go ahead. Um, unhelpful advice. No, he doesn't I want to see what he thought he had to do Yeah, I didn't know what was going on there. Uh, that's what I we didn't have to do that last time. Did we? Yeah, we did We did. Yeah, go ahead. Unhelpful advice with Pete Sampras. We have emails that people ask us problems. Let me answer All right, this will be a good one for you. Honest. That was great. I'm proud though. You're really confident He's like, what am I doing?

Don't end the podcast. It's almost at a million dollars a year and there you go God, all right. I'm kidding. All right. Uh, hey guys I'm a Korean man 31 living in a country in Europe since I was 16 As a teenager I hated being told Korean this Korean that so I tried not to be that stereotypical Korean Which made me hate everything associated with being Korean I realized how dumb that was and I try to get back to identifying myself with Korea I feel like now I can never get down to a conclusion whether I'm Korean or European Now I'm a working man. I have my own place as a respectful member of society in this country

I mean, it sounds a little stupid considering I only moved here when I was 16 But did you have any experience hating on and not trying to be what other people told you? Yes Uh, and he said you were the first Asian you saw on tv Uh, as long also with Johnny Yoon Yes, so um, oh whatever But what I want to say to you is that he meant thank you. Thank you growing up. Um, the only He went out, you know what I used to hate I used to hate when um, and I don't mind It now, but it's like people would put all Asians in one basket, right?

So it's like, you know back when I was in the 80s, you know, the vietnam war movies were coming out Right, so people would like just think that you know, I was vietnamese or and we were all the same, right? Or like because of karate and you know the the fucking movie karate, you know, I mean Kung fu in the karate you shot it down though, right? We're gonna have although like laundry mat references and whatnot. Um, you know that some people do um, sorry Chinese restaurant I just love that was like, you know, so when I was growing up. I was like, that's how I'm being perceived And that's how I perceive myself. So then I tried to do everything I could

To be the opposite of whatever people, you know perceived But what I did as an older guy, right is I I watched things that um Like korean movies like parasite Old boy, I saw the devil Those type of movies, right and I see korean people More not not not that I'm a murderer or anything like that, but being cool Right and acting more like me

Or like behaving more like me and I want to be sick Mixed joy who's the lead an old boy. He's also an I saw the devil, right? I think he's like my denaro I literally like I've messed my hair up like his and I just kind of like, you know, I think Korean movies especially It got me and also just being in LA and being around all Koreans meeting guys I gave a show and other Koreans that are like-minded, right has made me really embrace Um being korean. I love it now, you know, I really do. I think it's cool, you know

Um like this one might have you seen that movie old boy? No I will sit in for a treat. It's good, huh? One of the best movies I've ever made tonight. I remember. I remember um bill burr, he had a um Birthday party when he first moved to LA and I bought him old boy and Two days later He called me going that movie was fucking insane. Wow It like there's a scene there's a there's a sequence in there

In old boy that you're gonna be like wow. How the fuck did they do that? That's insane very good. Not the american one the korean one. There's two, you know spikely remade it So get to korean one. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you don't like reading subtitles. No, I I the only way to do it. I'm uh, I'm a british office guy. I'm uh, Yeah, I'm at uk everything death in the funeral. What was that movie death uh death in a funeral death in a funeral Death in a funeral the british version was funnier. Yeah. Yeah, you got to go the original good. Yeah So, um, you want to answer the korean guy? Yeah, as it as a white Did you ever hate yourself as a greek as I ever had myself as well a lot of people don't know. Are we white?

greeks It's a good question. We were we were slaves to the turks for 400 years Very recently that changed. We're kind of swarthy looking. We were discriminated against when we came to the new world Well, you guys killed jesus, right? Yeah, we did And we blamed it on the jews, but we did it. Yeah, well, it wasn't i'm sorry Wasn't the rom it wasn't rom in is in greeks, right? Absolutely roms in greeks Yeah, it could you see really nervous asking that I think we should start a history podcast. Oh rom in greeks. Rome was in greeks. Rome is in italy, right, but italy's in greeks

No, it's like little russian dolls. You gotta keep going a babe, right? Yeah, she freaked out man She's too fucking big of a star to listen to you now No, babe, you know, you could have just let it go and maybe have me continue I was listening to bonnie mcfarland on her podcast with rich faas. Oh out of way to name drop And she said something so funny that really i really related so she's like sometimes i look at you She's like i don't want to use the r word, but sometimes i do wonder if i'm if i'm married Someone with a disability And he did say confidently. Yeah, he was not joking, right? He was like

Roman romson wait is athens in greece. It's in georgia That's right. Yeah There is actually an athens georgia. What's yeah, what's in greece then athens in greece what and athens in georgia as well Okay, there's two but athens is the capital of greece. That's right. Okay, and rome doesn't exist anymore It doesn't exist. It was an empire. It was an empire. Rome is a city now Yep, okay. Yeah, and romanians totally unrelated That's a podcast between you two. Okay. This is a good podcast All right. All right now. I'm glad this is we're going this because now I have questions. Yeah, okay

Well, you're telling me right now. Okay. I'm blowing your fucking mind. No, you're not. Yeah I'm just you're just feeding it All right, so just so rome. Yeah isn't italy, but that has nothing to do with the roman empire Not now. No, but it did it did. So let me ask you this during the roman empire. Yeah, um If I went to rome back in those days Yeah, would it be the same rome as it is in in italy if you were standing in those spots? Yes, but there's a lot of other places you could be standing Including greece including northern africa including all the way up depending on the time during the roman empire all the way up to the british isles

Yeah, you'd still be in rome. Right. So what you're saying is rome shrunk Rome shrunk. It was once an empire now. It's just a city. I know but it's still Right rome is still rome There we go. Rome is still rome. It's a smaller version of rome. It's shrunk much smaller. It's got scooters Like for instance, for instance california used to be mexico Yes, right, right? And mexico shrunk right in that same way in that right now. I don't say I live in mexico. I'm in the united states Right. Right. Okay. So

I was right in that sense. It's a lot smaller. I was right in that. I'm just gonna argue my fucking point No, you're right. So I never I never also alluded that like romanians were rome people. No, thank god You did so you just added that information. I added that just I just no but don't look talk to me like that Okay, you're right. I'm talking do not talk to me like no you're talking down to me. You're right about that. Okay. Stop. All right But rome rome in greek that was my path and I'm very I'll be eternally shameful for saying that right But when I'm saying that I thought it was racist act. I know this Right, but the romans I mean, let me ask you this. Yeah, the romans back in the day, right?

The ones that killed jesus. Yeah, they killed jesus, correct. Yeah, they did right were they italian That's a good Google it see if it's been thought did I know everything? No, that's a good question Did italians kill jesus google that they became italian whatever anyone they became italian back then there was no word called italian Italian is it was the italian peninsula Now like you said you're right though because italians now romans shrunk and became italians So so what so there are city of people. All right, so um You know what because the way that you said it and explained it in a roundabout way

A greek Or greece sort of lives in the essence of realm That's what in my heart. That's what i'm saying, right? So what you're saying to me is this is that roman The romans, right greece was a part of that empire, correct? It was a conquered area It was a conquered area that was all embodied in romp. So in many ways, right? What I said to you, right? wasn't that ignorant initially You would make a great lawyer. I mean you just fucking johnny cocker into my brain

And i'm gonna quit but let me ask you a question. Go ahead. Do you think roman kids Love their mother as much as italian kids Or did that shrink and they loved rome? I think that that that has nothing culture has nothing to do with love It doesn't oh Did roman kids live in their mother's basement And put the down payment that they should Should have put on their own house

With their new wife All right, did they I don't think a roman would have done that did they buy? I think only a chariot and a greece person would have done that a greece Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah Because italian kids do love their mom and often will spend the money They should spend on a new house with their wife on a new car, right? I want enough of roman. I'm just letting you know the italians that I know when I go to their houses Yeah, like sabbatical scoco. Yeah, it's out the roman empire, right? It's beautiful

He's kind of when I go to a greece person's uh a greece person grease person's house If you see in the basement of their mom, yeah, I mean quick. I mean it's raised at this point. It's just racism We're greece people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we're that we started civilization. No, no, we didn't No, I see you saw the movie. We did make the movie grease. Yeah. Yeah. I saw the movie and we also telecivallus We gave you telecivallus. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so I learned a lot today in terms of um history. Yeah, geography I don't know much about it. You know and I and I fucked up by saying is rom in in greece I learned a lot. I didn't know hitler had one ball either. Yeah, he did. Mm-hmm. Yeah How do you know that?

um because I had a I had a very popular podcast That's no longer with us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah prince philip. It's the holy tree. I knew it was going to come in threes It was prince philip dmx history hyenas How did you really all all bit the dust? Yeah. Yeah together rip. It always comes in threes. You know that Yeah, I believe you know It might be reported but here's this like the great phoenix So like on the ashes of history hyenas rises her and annie letterman's podcast And asked her and asked her presents. He has a great phoenix in the sky and the long days podcast with yonah's pappas

I'm gonna ask you a question yonah. Absolutely If a year from now Chris calls you hey, let's start off start up history hyenas again. Would you? Wow, you really put me on the hot seat Interesting question. It's an interesting question. We lost so much. No, no, would you money already? He goes, I got the same ads, right? I got the same, you know, we we fill out the ad calendar for the whole year All year you're gonna be making as much. Okay. Let's do it again higher cpm even Even a higher cpm probably. Yeah, it's the comeback

Wow, that's a tough one. I'm gonna say Maybe wow I'm gonna say maybe but wait a second. Do me and you have we started our podcast called two romanians in rome? Or the movie karate. Yeah, we have or karate karate. We're in production with karate karate Then I'll take it. I've found it. I've found a new partner. Right. So, um, I say no to chris I found a new partner by you saying maybe though made made made me realize that, um It didn't end as peacefully as you thought Let's end on a good note though

So I did that's the note. That's the note. That's the note, right? No, I just wanted to listen, babe. Okay. There's a mystery here I think I know what you're doing He wants to know that you're over your ex so that he can swoop in and have a relationship with you. That's what I'm saying Yeah, so he's grilled me more than Schultz. I went on Schultz as I got grilled Well, it's funny because before you got here Gilbert and I had a discussion and I go because I didn't see the Schultz one I go how hard did Schultz grill him and you go pretty hard. I go I want to try to go harder Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna try to go harder. Yeah, and I want to say this too. Did I beat around the bushes good or?

I think you beat not he could have opened you up a bit. I would say I'm good in that one He's so fucking funny and disarming Schultz comes out. You like Hitler. Yeah He's like what happened. Yeah, Bobby comes at it like in a fun way It makes you want to open up and I promise you this though. I will never bring it up again and you'll never have that fucker on this podcast and he's out in two weeks and I want to say that um It was just a pleasure having you. Um You really do have the gift of this and as a stand-up as well

And I just um, good luck to you and your future endeavors. Thank you. Come back anytime. Thank you guys anytime I love being here. You guys are so if you're ever in LA and and I and I hear that you just came and left And you didn't do our podcast. I'd be pretty upset. Okay, and if I ever hear that you pitched the movie without me there Yeah, and didn't let me know and replace me. Josh Gad Josh. Yeah, I knew it. Is he Greek? He replaced I'm between Janice and Josh get we're producers Right. We're in an office a high ride

Yeah, Janice Popes. First of all the executives would be like, Janice. What? Right. I got Josh get the Josh Gad He's got a fucking point. He's got a point. All right, but that wouldn't be the loyal thing to do right Have some integrity right and then your joke would be right. Yeah, well dr. Ken then Right, right. All right, and then you and I will do it something else. Okay. What if that's it? We pitch it Uh-huh, right and all of a sudden Josh Gad and dr. Ken are in it, right? Kevin Hart and Gabriel are still in it, right? And you and I are now behind a monitor in video village producing action, right? And then they come in and how did it go?

Yeah, it was good. Do another one more real. You know what I mean? And we're like giving notes. Yeah, that's probably what will happen Yeah, that probably would happen. Yeah, but you know what we get producer for it. We can do it. Yeah as long as I give you Honest a round of applause Hey guys, and that was our episode with Pianas Papaz, the Greek stud aka Pete Sanfraz Is that crazy Andres? Like what do you think about? What do you think in that situation that now Kala's mom thinks that she'd met her Hero Pete Sanfraz. Do you do we reveal or do you kind of just let it go? Let it go. What a great thing like you made your mom happy Yeah, she tells everyone in the Philippines, right? I met Pete Sampras or I talked to me

And it was weird. It's like he kept telling me he was an asshole and he was a dick But I kind of just put that aside and kept saying you're my favorite tennis player Yeah, also what I think are sponsors hymns in better health. Andres, tell us a little about it Today hymns is giving your Today hymns is giving you their best offer yet. If you're not happy with your results after 90 days Well, I'm gonna try it hymns will give you here's why Andres is nervous is one He's looking at the world's smallest phone and then two. Um, this ad was clearly for him I'm gonna try it. I'm gonna try this hymns like 90 days and I'm let me see if I come back with like a full chihuahua

So, yeah hymns will give you a full refund in 90 days Get their first visit absolutely free. Go to forhyms.com slash belly And if you want to start living a happier life today as a listener You'll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at betterhelp.com slash belly. They all use it I am currently using it. Uh, shout out to dr. Jackson. I don't know if that's gonna be a bleep But I didn't say our first name. So dr. Jackson. Thank you so much for your help And before we sign off on drace, um, I mean my sister been talking about this movie and we have not seen it yet But we're trying to find a day where we can do a brother sister watch of your film

Could you tell people of the tiger belly nation what that film is? Well, it's a movie I produced the devil below it's coming out Well, it's out already on on on itunes budu apple tv any any of the classical vod platforms amazon amazon prime Yeah, so yeah, if you guys like horror horror films, uh, go check it out And we'll uh link it down here description check out andres's film Um, also guys, you can follow bobby lee all things bobby lee at bobby lee live cloud like calamity k You can follow everything george at not here And you can follow everything, uh, andres at fancy b. Is that correct? Yes

At fancy b and you can follow all your tiger belly merch updates. Um, any new, uh top 100 billboard Listings any homes don't go to redfin go to at gilbets I think it's time to tell people why you're sitting in the chair and why bobby was addressing you the whole time And why george is no longer here. Well, uh After a carefully planned year, we finally got rid of george. We bobby fire him And now, you know, if you guys want to see how that went down, you guys will have to see bad friends Um, but yeah, uh now i'm i'm taking over the white nothing. Yeah, it's now Spanish something right used to be white nothing now. It's Spanish something

So guys, uh, that's the news. Feel free to contact george on instagram Yeah, also if you also hit him up on instagram hit him on the dms for a sticker pack He will personally send you sticker packs. So hit up george underscore kimble on instagram Uh, we love you guys so much and if you want more of me, I know you guys don't But if you like mma, uh, check out my podcast and show on youtube It's called we out here mma. I do with kung fu nick and alex warzone We talk about mma and it's a lot of fun. So we'll see you guys there if you decide to join us We love you george. You've been great, but Spanish something is here

All right, give y'all a surround of applause great wait final question to confirm here Are you moving to austin as well? You never answered that I I am i'm an austin slash new york guy now Oh, yeah, I had to ask it. All right now. Now. I wish you wouldn't ask that. I had to I know because I wish you Didn't ask that now it's gonna. He's gonna be chris um team de stephano. I know okay, so I i'm not going to austin Hey prime members you can listen to tiger barely ad free on amazon music download the amazon music app today Or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey