TigerBelly - Ep 294: Can You Look a Little Less Bobby Lee?

Episode Date: April 28, 2021

Bobo is Hollywood. Khaloko is Hollywood. Gilbo is Hollywood. Andres is not Hollywood. We talk scoot'n around Tulsa, foster tears, and lamination machines.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Feelings was that where those hatred anger rage Towards Andres, yeah, really yeah hostility Is that displaced from George like did you carry because you don't have anywhere to be angry at George that moved to him I Think has to do with you Okay You know your your your personality and your demeanor is kind of like That Asian guy that was arrested

You know after Derek Chauvin You know me that the Asian cop. Let's not Let's not do that comparison. I'm not going there, but I'm just saying that that I'm like Bruce Wayne No, no, you know you watch you'll watch an atrocity go on, right? You want to say something, but you're just too weak to say it like give me another example Oh, I like give you another example. Um The I know you're a German, right? You're a German to the regular German citizen. Yeah, you hate what's going on right in Germany in in the 40s

You mean the not the Holocaust yet the Nazis You're a citizen, right? Let me get in character not a fan. Yeah, and you're like on the side of the street, right? And you see like, you know, Jews being hauled, you know, all together chained, right? Yeah, and you have a bottle of water Good back then that's how fancy you are. You had you had Fiji water, but even back then they didn't discover Fiji Yeah, yeah, this doesn't matter. You have it, right and One of the Jews goes Right and you're about to give it to him, but then you see a soldier look at you and you go nah Oh, so it's like that's you. I was like, yeah, here you go. I mean, oh

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but where's me? I wanted to give it Regardless of that, but anyway, I'm kidding dude. I think you're a good guy I don't know what I'm talking about and I apologize for that. I'm tired. I'm grumpy. So I Apologize that you're none of that. It's okay, and I want to say thank you so much For being a part of my life Thank you so much for being here and being so supportive over the years and you know what the first time I ever met you I Didn't like you but it instant, but it took a couple of weeks and instantaneously He seeped into my soul. He's so different now. Yeah, there are parts of you. I do miss like what?

I think you used to be a lot more playful and reachable No, no, no, you used to respect me like you so much used to be so nervous around me. No, I'll say that I was You know when you were like you didn't like me I was like well me Clowler like we're like I love like our relationship Then I was like man Bobby fucking hates me. That was a time my life too where my I wanted to like get everyone's affirmation So at that point in my life when you were doing that shit. Yeah, that was not good You know what the whims I wish I had better very wish I had better help calm honestly I didn't know if you were I didn't know who you were. I don't know who brought you over to my house

Why why you don't get you don't take time to get to know people The first time he came to the house. I never said To whoever who brought you Jenna me know her all right, so you never I never all right whatever I didn't ask you the UFC fight. You never came up to me and said you never came up to me and says hey this whimsical fairy This whimsical fairy is gonna prance around the house eventually, you know means to just be aware No, I'm sitting there and all of a sudden whimsical fairy flies into the fucking room and then I'm like who the fuck is that guy? You know, I need some warning when whimsical fairy is coming to my house. I Mm-hmm. I miss those early days. Yeah, me too

Hollywood you're a little Hollywood. I will say that you are Hollywood. I will say I'm less Hollywood I will say that's no hollywood. Have you say that because I'll here's here's why yeah That it was so hollywood if you say that to do people go like that is so hollywood. No, no, no, all right There were white, but I'll give you this it was both hollywood Both our responses were hollywood, but fine, but the most hollywood. Yeah Yeah, who's the most hollywood in the who's way who's grown and split exponentially from zero hollywood to a little more hollywood Yeah, don't you dare you look this direction? That's not true. I am the lead We were trying to

You are babe, I have to say I'm so glad you brought it up cuz she was zero so glad I might be saying she's hollywood I'm not even saying you're hollywood now. So hollywood. I would it's not one hollywood friend. Oh, yeah Where were you last night? David Spades house, right? That's hollywood Oh, that's hollywood. That's not hollywood. What is that? Okay casual just because somebody that lives in hollywood All right, first of all, just just because someone lives in hollywood and works in hollywood doesn't make them hollywood It's their mentality and the way they behave. All right, so I walked into David Spades house, right? Mm-hmm, and he goes I Or do your food? I go, okay. Did you have you got the prosciutto? I

I asked him sees are all the stuff that he goes. Yeah, all right. Relax. I got it. So the food comes, right and This is how on hollywood. I am okay This is how on hollywood. I they opened up the boxes and only my food was in it Like whoever delivered it forgot to put in all the other only my stuff came that's right So then to see a Kyle Dunn again was there too, right? And so to see Kyle and Dave just kind of look at me and I go, you know what let's share That's not hollywood. That makes you unhollywood is sharing Not only do that and then here's what I did make the assumption that Dave was gonna pay for it

So I I had a couple hundred bucks. I go you need some money, right? He goes. No, man. I got it, right? So that's not a hollywood To show money Let's make someone hollywood. Yeah, well, how do we define that? I have one definition. I have one very clear definition They believe we'll go ahead. They never pick up phone calls on the first go. Hmm That's that doesn't make anyone holly. Yeah, that's crazy I know regular people that do that. No because Gilbert and you never fucking pick up phone calls But I called around me because I'm doing other things, but I call back. I call back immediately when I'm done

You don't I do takes you like This is the nutshell of what I think hollywood they fundamentally believe Mm-hmm deep down the side that they're better than the common folk Yeah, but they do this thing where they pretend like they're trying to be like humble and cool and dress like homeless or whatever I don't have friends. I mean, I have my friends from you know what you're doing. You know what you're doing right now Okay, and I don't want to start a fight. I'm competing. This is a podcast I don't want to start a fight, but I just want to call you cuz Gilbert brought it up Okay, it's just that you're doing this thing where it's like you wrote this great show. Can we oh my god, okay?

I'd like to clarify number one Not so it has not been sold has not been pitched and there is nothing it's literally all right So she's like how was that even I'll tell you why it's not a thing. No, no because she probably she's okay Just the okay, I had to fucking ease my way into this. All right, but it's like she'll do things like she'll call me and go You know Wants to be involved. I don't know if I Yeah, yeah, and I Whatever his name

And I go and just by her calling is Hollywood because she knows there's a big deal Yeah, yeah, it's a big deal, right because she just mentioned the one of the biggest agents. I didn't know that I didn't know that I'll say this one of the biggest agents. I don't know that is exactly I don't know Spielberg. I'm not Hollywood like you. I don't you're not Know that Bob. All right. So what I'm saying though is that for you to Because you're you're calling me because you you know that it sounds I'm just keeping out that fucking name and I called you not for that. I called you to say Hollywood, baby No, it's not. Yeah, you do things like you you outwardly say like I'm not Hollywood and I don't say

Yeah, by you saying that you're not Hollywood is makes you Hollywood Okay, well, how about restaurant and there are things you can do in a restaurant that makes you Hollywood Yeah, would you just thinking that you have preferential and I don't I wait I've waited so you've been around me where I've been with it So long I'll sit there and wait forever for a table Even until they close No, but I have Now I don't even complain about it. We got into this massive fight at the vaccine site. Yeah

We already talked about it sounds like a sitcom. No, we haven't there's something in my eye though No, we aren't to his massive fight because I was like, can you look a little less Bobby Lee? What does that mean? He just was like, you know, the beanie and the thing and the sunglasses He was so wrecking and I was just like, yeah, like Okay, I want to say something. Okay. Can I be me? Damn, that's a can I be me 24-7? That's my that's my motto me 24-7. That's what I want to be I just didn't want him to use it as an I wear my beanie. I don't feel comfortable without one. All right I wear my goochies

Goochies because I don't feel comfortable. I'm wearing a mask. Correct. Yeah, I think that's suffice And you know what he said he was like no one's gonna know who I am I am with a mask on and sure enough like the first as soon as we like parked the first thing is the guy was like Anywho You're Hollywood you're Hollywood and you're not that Hollywood And this is the most even the most Hollywood. He's a real like director hair. No, his hair is like that's a director Look, you emo Phillips like, you know, he is emo. Do you remember emo Phillips? No, you don't know emo Phillips You pull it up. He he's got that vibe. He's got emo Phillips is vibe. Oh

Yeah, yeah, just the general like, you know in Peewee's Playhouse. He would be popping out of the window You know There's like a yeah, it's you have a vibe about here this one. Yeah. Yeah, you know me it's just kind of like weird eccentric, you know, I mean unfuckable You know vibe, you know, but I love you You know, I call you weird eccentric and unfuckable, but look at me Right, you're a weird guy, but I love you man. All right. Just you know, if I was a woman, no, no bueno No bueno, but good job. Good job. Uh wife loves you by the way. Your wife loves right? You're like, I'm afraid he's you know

He could snap No, are you a snapper? Have you snapped on set as a director? Wow, I want to say that I think you have higher snap potential than George Kimmel But I do you do you think that you'll ever snap at me I know So what I'm saying is if I was some other person in the way some other person if some other person treated you the way I treat you you would snap at them. Yeah, I think

Yeah, it's that and thank you for saying that because everything that I do Regardless of my mood and whatnot is generally in good fun. Yeah, and that's what I want to say. Okay. I went to Oklahoma and um, I You know at first I was like I Didn't want to do it because you know, I'm going out of the country in a couple weeks I was just like just too much on my plate and I have to double up on Bad friends in this podcast. I mean people are like boohoo, but it's like who wants to talk for hours

Hmm. It's just hard to talk for hours constantly. So you're doing four podcasts a week Right and anyway, but you know, I decided to do go to this do this Oklahoma gig because it's an FX show Mm-hmm, you know, and one of the producers is I Don't want to say isn't it FICA Why TT is that and the other producer is a part Tiger Billy fan. That's so shout out to Sterling Yes, a tie. So Tica's buddy who's actually the showrunner is a Native American. His name is Sterling Arjo and Um, I zoomed with him, you know, and as soon as I zoomed with him. I'm like, oh, okay

This is gonna be cool because he had tats when you see a show on or what show because usually showrunners are shirt talkers like network show like on like on bad TV We had this guy named dick Blasoochie. Yeah, and he was like, you know, I think we he was like 60 He was like 60 years five years. We didn't we did me. Yeah. He had buttons buttons. You know, I mean shirt talker khakis Just a businessman. I mean, he just has that sweet street vibe I have the complete opposite vibe when I look at him. He looks like a sweet intelligent No, lovable man. He's dirty

You I was around him, right? No, but you're dirty and I like that and I was snort crystal meth off a prostitute's back Or anyone's not in the front because that's like, I don't want to get canceled None of the breast is done like just on the back. You know me fully closed fully closed All right, which is hard to do. That's impressive. It's impressive. But my point is this So he's gonna tats, you know, he looks like somebody like grew up in the skateboard world But he's Native American and what and whatnot. So anyway Um, I do and I have to say just in general

Um, I was dreading Oklahoma and I have to say I had a better time there than I have ever had in Hawaii That's bold statement. We were just talking about Hawaii. It's crazy. I love Hawaii It's because I go to Hawaii so much Over the years even before magnum we would go all the time, right? But you know something about um being in Tulsa, I like old buildings I love old Midwest buildings the brick. You know, I mean the architecture and stuff

And I also like, you know, when things are closed down Like you know old factories and stuff and I like, you know, um I took scooters So I would work come home to my hotel first of the hotel looked like the sisa hotel Oh, is it creepy? That's not what it looked like. It was like a massive apartment. It was beautiful The apartment if you looked in the lobby though, yeah, it's a spitting image It's same columns same Ceilings same old chandeliers all that stuff. This is gonna sound crazy. Yeah

We have scooters in LA, right the lines the lines the birds and the birds I never when I drive by those I literally thought it was somebody's Like you didn't know it was a part of an app. No, I didn't think it was an app I thought it was like people just own these things. You know that we owned one And you gave it away to Jeff and Jessica There was a lime in this because you were like, I don't I never use these things. I don't know what it was Yeah, I said, that's why when I had one I had one in the garage, right? I had one in the garage So I thought oh, this is something that people own instead of cars. They just do this thing, right?

So what happened was I was at the hotel and I I went at the cosierge and I'm like bro Do you have uber on it? I don't want to get into uber because of the coven and stuff. He's like Just takes the scooter. I go you have one. Can I borrow it? He goes, no, it's you have to pay for but it's that app. You have to rent it. I go Tell show me. So we go outside and he shows me the app You know, you zoom in on the thing clicks it Charges, you know what I mean? I'm telling you right now, bud

I had I was doing we I mean I was I was dude. I I had He FaceTime me. Well, he he was just scooting around Tulsa. That's fun. He's like, babe. I'm on a scooter Scooting around to like I'm trying to find steak shops. Oh, okay. So I went to this place called bull in the alley My god, I want to tell you something right first of all, it's a little um What do you how do you is there an um, what's the English word for me wall? I don't know, but it's in the alley. There's no sign and there's no door. You don't know how to get in Right, so I'm scooting around up and down this alley. I don't know where the fuck right and I see this guy's just sitting there writing a book Writing yeah, this guy was writing a book like a novel. Wow. Yeah. He had like pads of no pack. Oh writing. Yeah writing. Yeah

Oh, you think I was writing I was like he was like a bull. I was like he's writing a book instead of a No, I'm sorry. I might be writing a book. Yeah on a green park bench Okay, yeah, and I and I you know, I scoot and I go dude, dude Where's you know, I'm pulling the alley He goes I got recognized Guy wasn't that bad. Hmm. He goes you're probably like, yeah So then I go, oh, sorry but um

He goes it's that green barn door I look and there's this green barn door. No sign. Nothing. You open it up and that's the restaurant Wow, and it was There's okay. It's one of those places where there's six things you can get That's it I love that. That's like my favorite place to go. You said you want to open a restaurant like that Yes, six good things five or five. I already know the five in my head. The first thing don't derail me is

Four dollars for a slice of bacon. Wow You think that's a price highway robbery Right. Is that what you think? I've never yelled out loud. This is I yelled when I ate it I yelled out loud. What the fuck? This is the shit I know you sent me six of the same like different angles of the same piece of bacon Yeah, yeah

Like different pictures. It was thickly cut like this, right? It was like a steak almost Right. It was the best And then I had a couple Ladies I had this lady I just meant well She just lingered That's all was she the waitress. No, the way you explained it is

She was like a cat like every time you turned your your head over at her direction She was inching closer and closer right, you know how cats do that So it's like yeah, you look over and she's like 100 yards away. I'm eating and then she's 50 And but the whole time she's She's the same. She's in the same position, right? So it's like this 100 yards 50 yards three feet like this, right And I go, wow. Hey

And she goes, you know, it's it's fine, right because the two things I got recognized for right So gross when I say it You know what though perks of being vaccinated. I'm going to allow you this moment. This is your lap around the San Anita mall or wherever mall west covena mall. Yeah. Yeah, I'm letting you have this. Okay. Good. So um, but this is your last time This is the first and last time. Okay What do you mean expressing joy over being recognized go ahead? All right, so once a year once a year. Yeah, so um, so she's magnum big magnum fan. I don't know why but she is I got this other shows. I always say that, you know, I can't you just say, oh, thank you. It is a great show

I love I know I don't know why I do that. I love I do. I love the show. So, um And then from behind me, I hear this Villain some guys some guy right and his wife Because I because when I screamed the bacon's the shit. He just keeps laughing. Ah, all right And then like 40 minutes into my meal, you know, I got steak and whatever He goes, hey I turn around he goes Love you podcast podcast love it

And I go Oh Tiger belly bad friends and he goes no Sibling rivalry Oliver Hudson Which kind of hits you in a weird way so I text I texted all of her You out of the fucking you know what I mean? I tell him he's there was a popular podcast me and I said I go Fuck you, you know what I mean?

So I did that the show doing the show was great. It's you know, the show that's called I can say a reservation dog and it's um it's a show about A group of kids that live on an Indian reservation growing up there and how rebellious they are and that that world it's a comedy and um Kirk foxes in it Bill Burr bill burrs in it. Wow Um, and um, I'm just saying that um, you really really enjoyed your time there

I could tell Yeah, I really did. I never went up to a showrunner and go. Can you write me in again? Wow He goes, I don't know. We only have eight. I go write me in again I would have been client out here. I'd love to go to Tulsa. I've never been. Yep. Hey guys, we're gonna take a week We hear that um You uh got a little glare from uh, rudy the other day during filming bad friends, uh, which is unarable by the way yeah

And I we did a bad friends the other day that was from the beginning to end unarable That's how bad it was interesting Tell us why because Andrew just had his kovat shot What the day before And the first thing he says, I just he goes, I'm not feeling good right I go. What happened? He got on took my kovat shot and I go

Okay, and he goes it's gonna get it's gonna be weird and it's when he when he's sick But he's trying to be funny. He just looks angry Right, he just looks you know, his rage comes out. Yeah, and it just it gets to the point where it We'll both say oh, we can't air that we can't air that because we start talking about things that aren't funny Absolutely not No, it just gripes about society or like history of like oppression. That was your Yeah, yeah, yeah history of oppression and then we try to get back into a thing and then it always leads into like You know, why don't you guys have like an off-shoot?

You know angry friends episode where you you know like those things I'd be interested to hear you and Andrew not be funny and just cry about shit for an hour Yeah, but people I think people want um Because there is you know when Andrew and I are on Like when we created the movie I mean We wrote um the island of turtle mountain. What is it? The bottom of the the bottom of the turtle mountain island. Yeah, we wrote a movie that came out today, right and it um

It generally makes me laugh even thinking about it what we did, right? And then when him and I get serious and stuff like that it just it just doesn't work for me So we do a bad podcast We do an hour of it, right and we go this none of us is an arable And then I go let's just do it some other day and then continue then well, no you guys You guys recorded on the sunday Because you told everybody that you

Got back from oklahoma on saturday What you didn't know is that andres had already texted me asking what time you when you'd be back from oklahoma To which I said he I even sent your itinerary. I was like he's coming back on thursday Right, and then you called me and you said you have to tell him production changed it to saturday and I did I texted him, but I couldn't get myself to lie to him. So I just didn't say it at all That's fine because I did text and it worked right So I texted him and I said I don't get home until saturday. They changed it Right, so no one knew the lie

Except for me except for you and the fucking rat jewels. Yeah accomplice the rat. Yeah So when we're doing bad friends, um I did I told her even before we were driving up there. I think you cannot tell them that I came back Thursday, why did you live? Because they didn't want to do a podcast friday. Got it. You wanted a couple of rest days. Yeah Why can't I yeah, papa deserves it. All right. Good. So So suddenly comes around we're doing this shitty bad friends episode And at the end toward the end I can look at jewels and jules is like

Look at me like this She goes oh, she did it right and I go Right It's it's all the reasons why like You know, I try to tell everyone my secrets so that no one can use it against me Right, so he goes she just keeps going. I go. Fuck it. I'm gonna tell so I just look at andrew. I go You know what? I have to admit under I came back Um thursday, I didn't come back saturday and then you can see andrew through the he rage out

That's the the exhale The santino accident with his mouth like that And I just you ride he did and then I was just like all right, let's go We got in the car and we just drove away, but um Yeah, he got you could tell that it annoyed him The lie, but you know, it's your sneaky little My niece niece. I didn't give you away. I was gonna hold strong. I know you were plead the fifth

Yeah, but um jewels jewels is very honorable in that way where it's like I do like her she has my back a thousand percent. Yeah She has no she doesn't have my back. She doesn't have your back yet Everything I know that I I know for a fact that she she will never keep a secret You remain from you right if we can't have our own secret jewels and I know you know Um, she'll always side with you in any argument. We've we've we know that Well, her reasoning is it's because kalayla is mostly right Even if I'm right though, even if I'm right, she'll side with you. That's not true

We've she sided with you before Over one thing. What was the argument the dog? What was it the puppy? Oh, yeah, because you guys wanted to keep the yeah, but that's the only thing If she wants something she'll side with me right, but if she can't get anything out of it, right? She won't side with me. She'll betray me. We um, you know, I foster dogs. Yeah, I heard some dogs barking. So I was fostered three puppies and um, I I haven't had a foster fail in a long long time just because I'm like, I can't have another animal I just want to continue fostering but these motherfuckers convinced me

That we had to keep the last puppy. That's not it. Oh, wow. That's exactly what happened. You know, it's so you wanted to keep two puppies You say things So conveniently. Oh my god. You can look at the saint. All right. Let me tell you something honey woman I liked honey better. All right, honey Right as soon as we got the puppies you kept going. Oh, look at that one That's the one you have to you kept saying if I were to keep one of them It'd be that one. But that's just in passing. I say that about all my fosters. I love all my fosters

so there We have one that we kept called. Um, his name is stub Stubbs. Stubbs. He's stavros, but yeah, he's got like little legs and he's really kind of dumb But innocent but also cute. So he's so sweet, right? Stavros and as soon as we got these things She you kept saying, oh, these puppies are different. These are going to be harder to give away, right? Yes, because they're and I'll say it like I've we've fostered a lot of puppy litters before and these guys were Were different to me. They were not as destructive. They were so there's something their essence was different Their essence was different. All right. So we give away mick the third out of we have three

Yeah, as soon as mick goes, right? It broke your heart. You didn't cry But it broke right jules did Okay, so now I'm in oklahoma, right and I go get rid of these fucking puppies when I'm out of town Because I don't want to cry. I don't want to make a fuss. I just get the fucking I'm out of the fucking house right So then you call me You on the day that on the adoption day Because billy and night day before I think stubs were gonna. No, no, no, it's the same day

I promise you I called you a couple hours before they were there a new adopters were supposed to pick them Right and she acted as if All of humanity was wiped out. I mean she was like in tear Right and I'm like I know but you gotta fucking do it woman. Yeah, I did Relax, let me finish my fucking thing. All right And when your eyes get cross, I don't like it. It reminds me of my mom when I when I am cross my eyes cross

I know your eyes cross and that's what my mom's did and I know that you guys the lee thing. This is what really bugs me It's a this Yeah, we do the job. Yeah, we do the job thing. Yeah. Yeah, that's what we do and it's it but you cross so stop crossing Okay, I'll uncross all right uncross your eyes. So she um crying right and then I go I'm sorry. No, it's hard and then So a couple hours later they get rid of billy billy goes and when billy goes, right Juliana Juliana has a breakdown. Has she reacted like this ever before? Yes, all of our fosters I don't think like this. Yes, babe. She cried a lot with sore. Yeah, but you never call cry

I never cry like you don't cry like that. No, I don't cry in front of you guys. I cry privately in a shower Oh, really? I do all the time. What are you a sergeant in the military? That's what daniel craig doesn't jane's bot because i'm You give orders on the on the field playing when you cry in your town You cry and I can't show weakness in public crying solitude. Anyway, you gilb Wow, then now we have stubs left stubs is left and somebody was to come over to pick stubs up And they never showed up they backed out. Wow, and then what I called you and what did you say? It's god's will. No, no, no, that's not what happened. That's exactly what you said

That's let me stop for a second. All right, you go She was one to ask you something Did you not say that I didn't say that So here we go see you mean jules is crying. No, do you understand what i'm saying? If you only heard it from her point of view, right? It would be the false story. Okay, okay, but listen One more thing before you start. I'll cross your eyes. I'll cross your eyes One whole week leading up to this by the way You guys have been begging me to keep both puppies. No, no, no. Yes, jokingly. No, no joking. Oh joking. No, no

You never joke about that shit. Okay, but go ahead. So then the doctor doesn't show up jules Looks like I mean she looks like she keeps her face looks really sad. Yeah, can we keep She goes that she says this Can we keep is that one of his clothes That's what she says And I go You know, it's god's will then I say it's god's will if the lady didn't show up to get the fucking dog Right

It's god's will but today I was alone with the dog all four of them and I'm I'm just literally going. What did I do? Oh, my the fucking puppy pissed all over our bed No, he didn't he didn't piss on the bed Just once Out of 100 ease It just once is pretty good and I'm like good ratio so far and the fucking puppy I'm telling you right now putting up great numbers this pup this puppy He's cute, right and he he he has I have moments with him

But I don't think he likes me that well much because when we're at bed I brought him in the middle between us He'll just get up and just go on your side. He doesn't want to fuck with me That's not true. He slept on your face the first day. That's the first day But then you realize I don't like the breath is not good mine is better. Yeah, I think that's what is my breath Yeah, you smoke cigarettes. Yeah, because my breath his name is stubs Government name is stavros and we're very very happy to have him. He's very he's a goofy goofy But we're not the smartest but very sweet. Can you promise me this though? What no more

No more what no more fostering nothing. We still have a foster here. I know that's why it's like we have this gigantic gigantic Dog dog in the house to downstairs. Do you guys want to meet him? Yeah, sure So anyway, we have a german shepherd. He is one of the sweetest dogs in the world. He's just so tender and kind and um If anybody let love if anybody out there loves a german shepherd wants one and this and one of the sweetest ones on planet earth, um, please If you live in the la area Contact us our mayday rescue or mayday rescue because we um, we just love this guy, you know

And it's just uh, it's it's sad situation and we're just trying to help We're doing at a david spades house. Yeah, come on man. What were you doing at david spades house? We don't want you to get it with my some with some of my I know what you guys Did you really get together to watch that god-awful fight? No, because we just well he because first of all he couldn't get He has a computer right a laptop. He's like, I don't like it Oh this onto the tv And I'm like, you don't know how to do that

You mirror it. It's like, I don't know my assistant king over and you taught me, you know, I can't get it to work now You know, I mean, so I could just fucking put it on just don't put it on full screen put it So we just saw On the corner of his tv the fight The rest of it was like some other show like news or something And when we just ended up like me and kyle, we just ended up started talking about um Um Stand up hollywood or suicidal thoughts and different things

And you just sit there for hours and then day would chime in, you know, I mean Yeah, I think about killing myself, but I won't because you know, I mean I'm killing it in life or whatever And then it's like, you know, I mean and then you do that and I just left, you know It was one of those things where it's like I um I'm just trying to I'm trying to get back out there You know, the other the other day you conveniently drop this like piece of information that I could not wrap my head around And that is that you owned

Elamination machine for like 20 years Because he was like, where's our vaccination card? He's like, we need to get eliminated. Where's my lamination machine? I was like Elamination was expensive, aren't they? I was like, what what did you what were you laminating in your life? I don't like to laminate things Wow, she's a laminator Like we just let me just laminate like, you know, I mean Notes or like letters or like, oh that's sweet or like, you know, so they stay around forever That is sweet. So we had a lamination machine Is that how people in the 80s and 90s? Is this something they own? No, I just think that everyone should have a lamination machine

I think it's a good point and we should have we should have one for those because they're like, for instance, I get like gold belly, you know, um gold belly Recipes not recipes instructions. Is that right? Yeah, and I lose them. You know what I mean? And we'll I should just laminate some Can I can I also um Fill you in on the word paperless You can find everything online including those cooking directions, babe. Yeah, but it's like, um Like our covet vaccination, um Documents. Yeah, can you do that online or can you do that? Is it better to have it physical?

It's good better to have it physical, but we have it on record. It's online. Can we get a lamination machine? Just for fucking that Or we could just go to office deep and get eliminated. I don't trust them. I want my own fucking lamination fucking machine What would what are daily things you would like to laminate restaurant? I like to laminate, um, what like menus for restaurants No, but you know, eventually when I do stand up again, maybe I'll laminate like my um, my um stand my new jokes Yes, please. You know, I mean on on like index cards Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do they not use post-it notes anymore either? They do use post-its. Why?

I can't do it online Babe post-its are for reminders. Oh notes You can't have your phone do that You know positive self-talk. Yeah, I am enough. I am enough. That's like that. You're nasty today I'm gonna order one. They're only like 30 bucks. Wait, there's 300 dollars. Do you want the most expensive one? Yeah, Bobby doesn't want the cheap stuff. You'll tell me. Give me a mid-range. Give me a mid-range one Yeah, we'll do lamination machine All I got on 30 bucks or there's a 300 dollar one. No, don't get that one

Here 34 That's good. Yeah, get a 34 dollar lamination machine. You heard it here first guys Tiger Belly's first lamination machine And then we're gonna start laminating things and then one day you're gonna say to me. Oh, you know what? I never thought I needed this in my life, but I do And I'm gonna go go fuck yourself. Can we laminate your oh my god. Can we laminate your foot shavings? It has something that's laminatable What do you mean my foot shavings? Oh, don't act like you don't know what foot shavings are. Yeah. Yeah, you're foot shavings, babe

Can you just fart? No, what was that? Are you still angry that I call you uncle Tom? It's also not uncle Tom. I don't think in the asian community. Yeah, um, what's it called? Uncle Chan? I don't know. But I um No, I don't think that I am you know, I I don't I don't follow asians blindly just because I don't follow asians I don't follow asians blindly just because I don't follow asians I think that I am you know, I I don't I don't follow asians blindly just because they're asian, you know I think that like there's like you know, um

Korean zombie I always root for you know, there's like that You from magister united park, you know, I mean, you know, I mean Do you soon park a decent park? I think yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I I loved him. You know me. I followed him. I love Korean movies But the guy from Tottenham, I love him as well. I love you know, I love him as well And when he scores against arsenal, I that's the one thing that I don't I don't I don't get pumped about that I have to ask you a question about arsenal. What is this thing about a super european league? We're in Europa. We're in the semifinals. No, there's something else

They started this like super european league thing that arsenal is a part of I think it was just news today It was weird I don't know anyways, but so it's like is it am I you know, you know, there's certain Asian stand-ups that I don't like and there's some Asians ones. I love and I identify with You know, someone like David Cho. I know that, you know, we have you know, we have certain issues with him. You know, I mean all positive ones um, I um I look at David and when I see David and that every in the first time I ever saw him

Um, I say I I've said to myself It's almost as if We're cut from the same cloth You know, is there a part of you that like resents some part of the Asian community because they've told you that you cannot be There's sort of like who you are. No, because you know, I had Asians say that to me You know, and I go, you know, I can only be me I can only do the kind of comedy that I do. I remember trying to do observational humor Like Sebastian was doing it. I was like, maybe I'll try. Can you try? Can I can I hear some?

What would be an observational? I just look around the room. Oh, man. No, we can't be around here But it's like, you know, um, maybe Andres Uh I mean, it's like flying. It's like, you know Fine It's crazy. It's like, you know I was at the I was in the emergency exit as a row, right? And the flight attendant goes to me, you know, are you uh Are you uh, can you in in case of emergency? Can you help? You're right? And I and I go, yeah, right?

And then when she walked away, I was like, fuck. No, I don't know why I don't know how to do it, man I don't know how to do it It's like, you know, um You know when there's turbulence of the plane You know when there's turbulence on the plane, right? More flames, you know, I mean, I you know I unbuckle myself was gonna go to the bathroom and she's like, um Flight attendant's like, you know, excuse me. So you got to sit down. I go, you're standing You know, I bet you we were on the log in the lake, right? And we're trying to balance

I'd be able to balance better than you Flight attendant, don't tell me what to do. You know what I mean? I mean, if she can do it, I don't know how to do it I don't know how to do observationally. That's pretty good. Yeah, I'm speaking up on spot. But uh, that's funny What else is more observation, you know I like the plane theme. I didn't know you had so much plane stuff. No, it's like piece. That's the common But like all hacky road comedy. It's either planes relationships driving. That's the all Everyone can relate to the show. Uh, we have our first unhelpful advice. This one actually He asked the question email, but you also prepared a video because he was nervous and would rather sing his question to you guys

So that's a tiger belly Fans, here we go guys. Here we go, babe. Here's the song. Pink Dick and Gilbert, Kalyla, and of course Our fearless leader, Slept King Bobby Lee. I'm looking for a remedy See, I'm a fellow artistic minded individual in Los Angeles, California And sometimes doing art seems kind of pointless Because everybody is just trying to make some money So how do you guys deal with that? The balance of art and commerce? That's kind of complicated, but the feeling of pointlessness

How do you get yourselves through that run? Okay, okay, got it. I got it music I got I got it I got it He looks like a better version of Andreas I love that he calls you Andreas I mean, you know me. He was just like a cuter like it's the same elements The hair the glasses, you know, I mean the whole skin tone, but it's just kind of presented in like a better way Excuse me

Cooler. I love you, man. I'm so sorry. I want to make fun of you You've stood up for me so many times and you put your life on the line for me Did it to yourself? You're sitting in George's seat. That's just what happened. I went to fire that guy You know why because he's like, how long does it take for him to fucking? You know, I mean, he's on paternity leave. It doesn't matter. He's been trying to jump back in I have kind of had to be like, bro, relax. Be a papa at home. No, honestly, I honestly prefer This guy

George don't listen to Andreas I do it's it's a it you don't make me as angry And I also trust you more artistically. Oh, I really do I think you're better. Oh And I think that you wouldn't if you had a baby that you wouldn't take this long not being real And I'm gonna I'm being honest with you and I'm gonna push for it

I want you to be the guy You know, fuck that guy Fucking disappear for three weeks for what? Anyway, I didn't answer this question. Um, art and commerce don't cut that out either Art and commerce was his question. He's don't cut that out. It stays in. Thank you. Yeah, I get what he's saying because it's like, um You know, you do you do well first of all when you do any form of art because you know, I've always I've written music I've been in bands I've you know, I'm not good art. I'm not a good painter or anything like that. But like, um

There were times where I tried where I got, you know, my canvas and I got oil paints and I tried, you know, I mean I'm terrible My point is is this is when I you know stand up is the only art form That I really have dedicated my life to obviously and it's like the first couple years You're not making any money. No one knows who you are and it's like the first thing in your head. You're like How does anybody make it? Um, that's always in your head because you don't know how you know how anything works. You don't know how

You mean you go from a to z, right? You're just at a I have a question, babe. Go ahead. If you, um, did not Ever make a living doing stand up Would you still be doing stand up? Like Um, if let's say you were just as funny, but let's say you just never really, you know, you never got mad tv It's impossible. No, I'm just saying I'm just saying do you love it so much that you would have done it for the rest of your life I I can't no, I mean no, I would have quit eventually, but I

This is gonna sound strange, but I think I've always knew That something was gonna happen That's how it's weird to say, but it's like no, that's not weird to say you just kind of know Right, just deep down. Even though I totally believe you your reality doesn't show the reality Doesn't show how you feel Right what you're like, oh, I'm gonna open mic. Nobody knows who I am. You know what I mean? There's no audience You know, I have no respect You know, you know, I can't get gigs or whatever it might be, right?

But it that's why I always got so angry at like You know, like there was this I'll be getting some so there was this There was this I don't know their names. I never thought I would ever call them out, but I'm gonna do it right now so I started lohoya obviously and there was A coffee shop called Thomas can't paying coffee shop There was a woman that was in a a

I'll call it anonymous who started her own comedy scene there, right? and um Me and my friend Jonathan got sick would do gigs her gigs every once in a while, but then one day, you know, she She wrote her own newspaper. Like it was sort of like a pamphlet Like the San Diego gazelle for comedies, right? And she wrote down The top 20 comics in San Diego Right And me and Jonathan were not on it

Right, it was you felt at this point. You deserve to be top 20. Yeah, top 20. Yeah 100% because at that time had already done make me laugh. I already had a Hollywood manager I would not abby. I had worthy Patterson and I was already opening for Mencian stuff a little bit You know, I mean in paulie a little bit, right? So I had already done things That none of them, you know, I mean Did right and I show up to this like she had this meeting Of all the comedies comics in San Diego, we all showed up at the Thomas pink and she handed out this letter and I read and I went Fuck you

I tossed it in the air And me and Jonathan left, right? Yeah, and um There was another comic that was there. Her name was america uh-huh Ferrara no, just that's her name. Yeah, that's the america's name. It is. Yeah, her name was she was terrible You know, I mean, and you know who else was there was dad fan. Did he make the list? Yes He was on the list. Not only was he on the list He was that was the group of people that like, you know, they hung out together. It's political

They were there were his people like all listen all the the established San Diego comics Were rooting for him, right? And I was the dark one. I was the one that was always in confrontations with people I was in conflicts. I was I was always in conflicts because I I was like, where's my I'm always like I want my My day. Yeah, you know what I mean? And is that bad?

No, because I feel like you had a lot of belief in yourself. You're like, I'm funny. That's a good thing Yeah, I want mine And if you're not gonna go along with me It's like scott bowman. I'm gonna say it. I don't give a fuck This guy so I met Darren Carter. I would tell you about this I know who Darren Carter is. You know Darren Carter. Yeah, Darren Carter was his red-headed comic He's around. He's a headliner. I remember one time I met Darren Carter and I was in I was At home and I was watching I was sick and I was watching

Warner Brothers, I was a network back then And Darren Carter had one line Right as a pizza delivery guy on a sitcom And when I saw it, I I I literally went holy fuck I don't fucking I don't a Hollywood actor Darren Carter I know him like I it blew my mind Right, so one day Darren Carter became a doorman at the at the conference from La Jolla, you know Oh, and I was always nervous around him because he was on the head that one line of that

You know me that Warner Brothers thing and I can't I became friends with the in Darren goes. Hey, man. Hey kid Um, so after my shift tonight, we're gonna go to this coffee shop in Pacific Beach And I go, okay, and he goes all the you know local the best locals Shea Matash Zoo man Wally Wong they're all gonna be there Right, but this guy named Scott bowman is the guy that books the thing. Yeah. Yeah So you you you'll bring me over there

Just Darren, you know, I would have sucked this dick. Yeah, you know me and he goes. Yeah, I waited all night. We go over there, right? So we I go inside the this coffee shop. There's no audience. It's just comics But there's a perfect show going on and I remember Darren bringing me up to Scott bowman and and and Darren going Yeah, this young kid, you know, he's he's pretty good, you know, and Can you put him up or can he be you know have an opportunity to perform on your stage? And Scott goes, yeah, I'm gonna have to showcase him Oh So I go, okay

when After this show and this is already allowed one in the morning So now it's two in the morning The show is over And I go are we they I remember turning the lights off They're turning on the light. No, I go. Oh, so the showcase happening next week. The showcase still happening I go Where in the parking lot

Bro, he has like this convertible car, right? He leans against it. Oh, he's so power tripping, right? Like this that's Hollywood and he's leaning against it, right? And he goes and I know Darren's there a couple of other locals are there Oh, I hate him and Scott goes he had curly kind of curly hair a thick like 70s mustache Super tall like six six, right? Skinny, you know what I mean? Tom Sellecky, right? But be throwy, right? He goes go kid And I just going into my act and then I just I didn't get passed I did it and then he was just like, ah, you need years to develop

Oh, yeah, right meanwhile Five years after that I did the fucking tonight show go fuck yourself. There you go Go fuck yourself Anyway, but see what I mean when you go through that, right? And then all of a sudden like you don't get through the super coffee shop thing, right? You could go back to your place, right? And you sit there Should I keep doing this? You know what I mean? And then that's when I started doing my Opportunistic behaviors. Oh, that's where it was created. That's where I was created. So this is what I would do, right?

I got a job where Darren would work at the comedy store, right as a doorman and on saturday nights, right? Fred the manager had this new policy He goes, I'm tired of these shitty mcs. They're sending down from hollywood. So I made a deal with mitzi. I go he goes You bring down a headliner and a feature middle act, right? I'll provide the mcs. It'll be the doorman So I'll get two front doorman a night, right? So there's four doorman two friday two saturday, right the two saturday ones, right? One of them will host the early show. One of them will host the late show, right? So every weekend we would have a headliner from hollywood usually older people like, you know

Charlie Hill or Dave Tyree, right? But every once in a while, hollywood come down or mensia or You know, somebody like that, right? But that's when and then they would always bring their managers, right? So I was a doorman and that's when I went into Opportunistic, I love you for that. That's not opportunistic. That's strategy That's strategize coming up with a game plan. I respect that a thousand thank you for saying that No, I do because it's like I don't want people to like That there's nothing inauthentic or slimy about placing yourself in the way and you know in the

Basically putting a spotlight on yourself. There's nothing wrong with that. But they would but they would call me a A weasel and a scumbag. That's because they didn't think of it first and they're jealous It's just that's just what they're gonna call it. They're gonna rename it something else because I have that exact same feeling When even before I met you and I was wrapping up nursing school. I thought to myself I don't know what I want to do, but this ain't it and I was so sure But you know that you said that you just had a feeling like you knew that there was something you couldn't You didn't necessarily how knew how it was gonna pan out. But you knew that you were going to live A life that sort of looked like this

I knew it in me Like I knew that I was not going to be in the medical field at all Yeah, and I never had the guts to say it out loud until I met you until you were like, you know what? You don't belong there. Like you You're the person who basically, you know, let the fire under my ass and and said that You're exactly what I needed. You're now you're a Hollywood showrunner. Oh Oh my god. Full circle full circle. I will admit though that like all of your tiny little things that you do. Yeah I copy. I know you know what else I did. Yeah, you know when you pitched the show. Yeah that you sold. Yeah

I recorded it. I laid it and I listened to it a wizard I'm a mental of mind wizard And I am You're understudy. Yeah, and I'm just following in your footsteps. Papa There we go Paddle one Look, we're running on a good note. We're friends again. We're friends. We were always friends And lovers. Um, but to tell this guy

Is you just got to think, you know, if you want to make money based on your art form You just got to believe that's going to happen. I think, you know and just keep doing it. I think I don't know You know, I was talking to Kyle Dunnigan at, you know, David's house Here's a guy I just want to pipe pump Dunnigan up, you know, right? Kyle Dunnigan Is one of the best impressionists I've ever seen and I've seen them all I've worked with Frank Kiley and I've seen them all I've you know, foul Jimmy Fallon's a good impression. I've seen them all. Okay, melissa via senior

Dunnigan is one of the best Right, he's fucking Cuomo mayor Cuomo. He's fucking Joe Biden is so good, right? And he's another one that's like, you know He I believe it's not done for I think something is going to happen for him Yeah, because he doesn't think big And we keep telling him you got to think bigger Right. He's just that talented and that good, you know And there's just a lot of those, you know, and um, but you know what else this guy needs

Is someone honest in his life like you like someone to really give like an honor like if he doesn't have it He doesn't have it. Yeah, don't don't surround yourself with yes men either Like surround yourself with friends who are going to tell you like what's up because And I told this on bloodbath. I don't know when this is coming out but there was a time when I I literally was on my hands and knees like crying because like I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life And then Bobby and he was like just anything you can be anything This is what he was speaking was giving me babe. Come on. You're so smart

You can be anything and then then he's like just Say it say what you want to be he's like, and I promise I'll support you And then I came into the room crying. I'm like, I think I know what I want to be I want to be a poet And the first thing out of his mouth was not that one Not that he built you off I know but that's what you need someone to be like, I'm sorry. I think you yeah, it can't be that So you do need like honest people in your life. My my brother when he was in

His junior year. I was still I had graduated by still living in home I remember my brother coming home. We had dinner And my dad was cooking something or whatever he had a spatula in his hand And my brother goes, I know what I want to be when I grow up and we all went what and he goes A skydiver And my dad goes you go you'll give up you'll give up like in a real way Hits my brother in the fucking head like this And my brother never brought it up again

Yeah, a skydiver Thank you for listening. Wow That was a weird one, but good. I thought we just want to thank our sponsors Tushy Brooklyn in ship station and better help go to hello tushy.com slash tiger belly to get 10% off plus free shipping This is a special offer for tiger belly listeners. Go to hello tushy.com slash tiger belly for 10% off Brooklyn You can still go to brooklinen.com and use promo code tiger to get 20 20 Sorry

brooklinen You can still go to brooklinen.com and use promo code tiger to get 20 dollars off and for of For cute we're rolling this keep going guys. I want to show you how difficult this is Broke lining you can still go to brooklinen.com and use promo code tiger to get 20 off any purchases of 100 or more Boom. Thank you. Get 20 20 up to a great start by visiting ship station.com Just use our offer code belly to get a 60 day free trial. That's two months free of no hassle Stress free shipping andres. Hey, andres. Tell me a little bit about better help Let me see better help

Well, if you want to get start to live your happier life today as a listener You'll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at better help Dot com slash belly and that is how we assist each other here on this show. It's about a cruise about a team Uh guys also if you want to send any questions or a video one Like our friend from road in the episode. You can do that advice unhelpful at gmail.com And we have all this premium content currently on patreon. So make sure you go check that out On on just give us a little sample. Like what is one thing they could see? So we we just posted our

Or two guys's uh, joshua tree vlog number two true And we are about to post like a cooking competition And guess what the man speaking right now andres was participant or he was a participant Yeah, I don't still know who won. We don't have any footage. We need them to send us so you can see who won Uh, and it's an interesting because we do a dish native to um, spain. So andres had the upper leg We think so head over to patreon.com slash tiger belly to um check that out Um guys, we love you so much, you know Yeah, I yeah, it's great guys. Um

What nothing I'm just talking you're good guys Was that domination as dominate he's bobby's paying domination on warzone right now Uh, make sure you follow everything bobby lee a bobby lee line. Uh, everything george george underscore kimmel I think so Yeah, you guys hear that It's yeah, bobby's penis It's shaped like an ice cream scoop Um, not you guys. He does love you guys. He thanks you all for listening to this podcast

Uh, don't fuck george george is a good guy guys. We love him bobby loves. We love george. We love george here Uh, follow clyde like calamity k. Uh, check out everything andres. Where can we follow you andres? fancyb.one at fancyb.one for all your andres and um bad friends needs and also if you guys are watching the mma fights Make sure you check out we out here mma on youtube. It's hosted by myself alex warzone and kung fu nick Check it out. Uh, maybe link down below. I love your support if you guys like mma Also, I follow us on tigerbelly on instagram. I'm also looking here like there's a camera here. I realize the camera's right here And right up there, but I'm looking at the mic like it's

Guys, we're tired. It's late. We love you guys so much. Have a good day. Bye Hey, prime members you can listen to tigerbelly ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey