TigerBelly - Ep 301: Joshua Tree Special - We Meet the Parents

Episode Date: June 9, 2021

Part 2 of the TigerBelly road trip in the desert! We meet Claudio... Rudy's boyfriend. We chat nightly gas fits, a Daniel Cormier love affair, goat sounds, and being visibly shaken by antiqutes. *Recorded 3/20/21Watch the Joshua Tree VlogsPlease support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Good evening. My name is Bobby Lee and we are doing Good evening testing testing This is gonna be my one of my last Tiger Bellies Because I'm gonna die out here Why do you think that? Because this is fucking some bullshit. That's why

first of all Yeah, I appreciate it. I appreciate the work. I appreciate the dedication But I don't do well five miles away from a Starbucks Oh, that's the gauge the gauge. Yeah. Yeah, and so my body is like losing its life energy. Oh number two, um I Find George's legs to be so sexy. I can't I can't I Yeah, I can't I can't even fathom is it not what you thought it would be or no

He's got Chris Hemsworth's fucking legs. I don't like it Yeah, they are very very nice very nice and muscular So his legs number two, I've never seen his legs before so that's that number three How are you getting electricity? We are in a time frame with batteries or so you have batteries right now, but we can keep replacing them Okay, but we're running on batteries. I came here last night with George and I thought there would be some kind of like Little power, but the only light is the fireplace Okay, so that's number four. Don't like it number five

You don't see minorities out here We saw Asian woman outside. Yeah, but that's she's with a white man. So she changed tribes. Is this me? Yeah, it's you Jules she tried. Yeah, good Jules get on your fucking pod Get in here So number five, this is where this is where They plan for the insurrection Yeah, this is the type of place where they plan for insurrections. Okay. Yeah, so they're like, you know, yes or no

So on the sixth, you know Billy Bob, you're gonna be here with the with the wires, you know all that stuff and so number seven This is where they write Manifestos to do like, you know, the Turner Diaries are written out here. Oh, this is the origin You know what the Turner Diaries are? Is that Ted? Is it Ted Turner? No, not Ted Turner Not Ted Kaczynski. No, what are they? This is called a turn. I didn't say it was named was Ted. Oh

Would you say it was so there was there's a there's I said the Turner Diaries. Oh Turner. It is a Ted Turner. It's a Turner of TNT Ted Turner. Yeah The Turner, let me see if I got that right. Yeah. Oh There's a there's you get do you get oh, there's no there's no reception. I there's we that's why we drove because there's no There's no reception on no reception only AT&T Okay, well the Turner Diaries From the information I have from my mind was What the alt-right like extreme right people read it's I don't know when it was written probably in the 40s and 50s

it's basically a book it's a book about a Guy fighting the government and building bombs and all that stuff and It's what Ted Kaczynski wrote read I think um, so he's Ted. He read it. He didn't write it. Oh, okay, and then um And then the guy that who was a guy that beat bill blew up Oklahoma sitting You know it was a Ted Kaczynski was a unabomber and the other guy was John Kaczynski. Oh What's his name? What's his name? Timothy McVeigh, so he read the Ted he wrote he read the turn basically it's like

Mine comfort light You know man, so they wrote they wrote that out here for sure But you know what you find great things here you find 10,000 to 20,000 Joshua trees You know me, which it's like when we're driving up here Kalei was like look at the How beautiful look at the Joshua trees like bitch. Sorry. I just my mind is like bitch all in your mind Yeah, a billion Joshua trees out here. It's not special

If you found if there was one Joshua tree in existence Then I would probably hug it or whatever, you know, I mean or take a photo next to it But there's just so many of them in bunny rabbits are out here Last night. We heard her look hi-yolds, you know But have we started? Let's introduce the game Everyone knows the game. Well, we have a new member of the desert We've got a child prodigy here, you know, we've got an overachiever here. Our name is Jules Kuhn and she

She really she got into the University of Davis UC Davis. Whoo. Give her a round of applause and she You know because I watched the The varsity blues scandal documentary last night. Oh, right with Laurie Loughlin, you know those Rick singer the college admissions scandal. Have you heard of that Jules? Yeah Did you watch the documentary? No, but you told me about that but I told documentary It'll really really maybe piss you off, but I also told you how proud of I was I was of you today. Did I not?

Yeah, what did I say? Child prodigy. I called you a child prodigy because here's this provincial Here's a provincial farm girl. Yeah from some remote city guys from some remote island with malls Bridges, right? Just let's let's create a narrative here. That's gonna be interesting a cosmopolitan, right? So he's a here's a farm girl who she grew up with just rice She you know a patty of rice and she she was out there farming and she had a vision and she had She she was inspired to do more so here's this she didn't speak English or the Philippine language She spoke English and she was 15. She learned both in a year

And she crawled out over that rice patty And she took she she found a plane to get out here and now she's going to UC Davis. It's a beautiful thing Do you remember when she first came here? Yeah, I go Can she function as a human? You're 16. Oh major. Yeah. Oh wow. So long. Yeah, she was so meek. She had a she was like But that's permanent now she you did that to yourself Telling her you know your parents are was like sit up straight sit up straight I know really you don't realize the value of sitting up straight until you're a permanent hunchback like me

Yeah And she could Whenever ears are abnormally large So if she was like Dumbo, she would fly in a circle You know what what do you call? Is there a word in English for people whose ears stick out? What is there a word in English for for people there is a word? But I had no longer I we can no longer say it because I don't get canceled. What is it? It starts with an R

Call a flower ear I just said an R. Yeah, it's an R. Call a flower ear You're very good at jiu-jitsu. Yeah. Yeah, and in in Bessiah you could you say tongue? Yeah Yeah, and so like people like tape the their baby in Korea you call Dong Saram. No You know that is shit person No, I'm proud of you. I told you your child prodigy and I think that I I honestly I'm honestly as a father as a father as a stepfather. I'm so proud of you and I Just you know, there's a high. There's something so high expectations

You got to cure something Well, let's tell it the audience how we found out about it. Where were we? We were in the parking lot of Lucky boy burritos and Pasadena we were here I don't know if you guys know this, but I'm a little kind of sewer When it comes to breakfast burritos, hmm, I've had all of them and I've had Colfax a bunch of times. I've had Every waffle house you can imagine in LA and I have to say and I said this the other day Lucky boy has if you're ever in Pasadena

They have the best breakfast burrito. I would believe on planet Earth Hmm, what makes it so perfect? What makes it perfect is I like consistency I like fresh ingredients and I also like Simplicity So this breakfast burrito is gigantic and for the price. It's great. How much is it? Like six bucks. I have something right. It's cheaper. Yeah, so it's egg potato and bacon, right? But it's always the same

You know how you sometimes there's a there's a Nature well by my house nature well is a you know, they have it's like it's a juice bar it's a juice bar, but it's organic and Every time you ordered nature well the same thing it just comes out differently tastes different You know, I mean like sometimes it's like too much peanut butter Sometimes it's watery something is chunky right and I don't that's why I don't go there because it's like it's not consistent for me Mm-hmm, but every time you get a breakfast burrito at lucky boy, you know, it's gonna be the same Right and it comes with the side of ranch dressing and hot sauce

And right now my stomach is crumbling even thinking about it my mouth is one all last night I had I almost went to the hospital by the way. That's why we relate guys Bob. I didn't have underwear and he's wearing one of mine Well, it turns out well, this is what happened yesterday remember when I called you Gilb, and I was like hey These are the things you have to buy. Yeah, because it turns out Bobby pack nothing by nothing. I mean no toothbrush no toothpaste no underwear. He brought three colognes Yeah, but that's no medication. No like no chargers even he was he was bragging on when we first got here He was like I was okay. What did you bring? He's like all that matters are chargers long as I have my chargers And he went back to his bag and realized he none of his chargers were in there. Well, I brought my I brought my um switch charger

But you know switch Yes, so so I did He brought one yeah Because I was in a daze when I packed frantically yeah to get here And I should have thought about it, but um and so he he is currently wearing my panties Well, because you don't know what happened last night what happened last night So we had the pizzas was just delicious and thank you so much. What's the place called? Giant rock meeting room giant rock meeting room what best pizzas in what's the only pizza recommend the muschettina. Yeah, yeah, and

We got that food and it was really good dinner And then you have these bars in the in the refrigerator where they called their keto bars keto bars I had about three of them last night. I'm not keto by the way. Oh, I just like the taste of these bars Those are probably heavy fat. Well, that's what I told him It's like it's like basically he drank MCT oil straight up which is and you know what he did he ate three in one sitting. Oh Not in one sitting in a space in an hour So that's different. How many sittings is that the six six six sittings six. Yeah, yeah, and I had three keto bars and And because I would I would I don't finish them because they're so heavy

I'll eat half a walk away Contipate life. Look at the stars Came back inside and eat the other one by point is is that so last night? I was watching some stuff She was sleeping on Netflix And I had my nightly gas fits I know those what's a gas fit farts. Oh, okay. Yeah, but it's nightly. It's ritualistic and it's um Relieving sounds like popcorn. Yeah, and if you want to know what they sound like it they sound like this

Like that it's like the beginning of a game show it's like a tropical bird. Oh, okay Yeah, it was at that, you know that bird with us or it's a pair of booboo reed. Okay, you're booboo reed. I thought um Um, the mooning just made that up. No, it's an animal. We grew up to it's booboo reed Yeah, maybe they didn't have that in her rice farm when she grew up different region sometimes, you know what because she did Sometimes when I look at Jules and like there are some things that are even too provincial for her Like I'll say something and I'm like, do you remember this and she was like, no, I don't like she looks at me like I'm a fucking like Primitive like, you know what I mean? Um, I think Aliyah said a word. I forgot what it is

But I don't I didn't know the meaning of it because it's like it's like how old people talk now She looks at me like I talk boomer Bessiah. Yeah She's like, we don't say that we don't use that. It's embarrassing for her to hear me speak Bessiah Yeah, yeah, basically they call me hello. And if you don't know Jules Kuhn is the star of the bad friends podcast sure is It's a guest star. It's a guest star. It's a guest star Andre. What happens if she goes to college? Well, let's get can we go back to the what happened to me last? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know, I'm sorry So, you know, I have my nightly ritualistic Right the birds a paradise and my bong bong

And but there's something different this bird spat out stuff You know what I mean? So in also I cup Do you cup cup what farts? Oh, no, we don't do that You cup farts Raise your hand if you cup farts Right here. I would have been ticked that containers No, that's too much plastic wasted and have I talked about why I cup it or no I'm assuming to smell it. No, are you out of your mind? No, I'm not an animal

I don't do that either All right, I don't I do smell them, but that's not the reason why I do it. Oh, yeah. Yeah to warm your hands No, it's not to warm my hands. No, it's not that cold. Is he an anarcho? Oh, thank god I'm an eskimo. So, um No I do it so that it doesn't make noise It's still so I know I cup it and then with my Pinky and my thumb I spread the cheeks out a little bit

Hmm, right? So it seeps into the there's no satisfaction in that You see it's not about so I don't want to wake you. Oh Because every time I do I you hear the birds of paradise You wake up and you make a comment and I don't like it. What do I say? Oh gross You know, I mean or you know, I mean go to the bathroom or you'll say something And I want to hear shit This time the birds of paradise sped out something and I um had it in my hand And I went to the bathroom. Yeah, and then I spent two hours in there. Oh, it was terrible

MCM washing and then went back to bed got back up went to the bathroom and then went to the shower And I I washed, you know, I had my I was so afraid that Because I didn't lock the door. Yeah, that's really one of the you torque because I had was completely naked Been over with my ass to the with the with the the nozzle or the faucet Yeah, it was spraying it spraying it down and my all my fours and it would have been so embarrassing Jules, have you ever bumped into him in the bathroom? No, okay Her and I don't we don't try to cross paths. Yeah Right, do you do notice that we don't try to cross paths? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, interesting. Yeah. I don't like crossing paths with you

Right. It's the night But anyway, so okay, so what happens if if jules goes to college And she can't drive. Was it five hours from from Davis to LA? We'd have to find another host a co-host and that's gonna be difficult to find There's no jules is one and only yeah, because um, I can't go out to some sort of our island And good. I don't know where any rice patties are and I can't teach somebody to speak You know, I mean English and to have her ridiculous things that she say Like clap the boat

Explain please Clap the boat That's a movie title Based off well, we're on bad friends and we talked about um We were doing Oh, yeah, we're doing we were reading a script from leprechaun And then we we made jules the director and her name was um, jose archnald Yeah

And then we asked her, you know, we add information. That's how I go Oh, she went to sundowns with a short film and then we asked her um Who was the star she said Something ocochio Alexander ocochio And I go, what was the short called and she was stomped So she just kind of blurted out clapped about Yeah, and then um a couple people made posters online. Wow

Yeah, yeah, dude. Yeah, and um Um, I told her was I said it was about mexican immigrants. Yeah. Yeah. And so that's what she came up with Clap the boat. So anyway, um How, you know, how do you find that you can't it's almost, you know, you find hosts like because she was an accident No, no, you're meant to be born You're meant to be born. She goes like, oh Yeah, you're meant to be born because uh the lord, you know, she he doesn't do anything. Um It's out of nowhere. He he has a plan

And so you're meant to be born, but it's how do you find that we right? It was how did we find How did jewels become the uh, it was during the pandy. Yeah, during the pandemic since she was already part of your bubble So I would uh, andres and I would set everything up and just have it ready to hit record So she was the only one that was allowed in the room Yeah, but that was a good thing, you know, and um, so we couldn't find, you know, we We'd have to find a guy probably and probably We'd have to audition people that would be funny bad or she just foregoes you see davis And then she lives with us forever

She has no life. No friend. Well, my dream would be for her to if we could somehow, you know, capture her That's a dream. I mean not capture her but just kind of not capture her but like You're not, you know, you're not imprisoned here, but like please live with us forever, but I want to go out Oh Man, you want to go out on what have friends and boyfriends? All right. Okay. Hold on. That's that's that's interesting So is she allowed let's say she lives with us, right? And she's like, you know what tita. Bobby I I'm gonna stay with you and live live with you forever and do bad friends, but I I need to be able to bring boyfriends home. Yeah, we're not this is not, you know

A human trafficking situation. Of course you could have boyfriends if you know the interview with us What what would the interview? Oh, you play the guy? Yeah. Okay. Hang on jills. Introduce your new boyfriend to us. Yeah Hey, are these your parents my yeah, they're my parents. Okay. Cool. Just be cool Wait, what is he like? What is he like? What is she like? Um already? Oh No, he's smart. He's smart. He's smart boyfriend. He's trying to like find a thing to um bond and be I have in common Like just give me the point like the two points where I can like keep pushing that so like tita. Bobby's kind of crazy And at the client let's chill. Cool. I'll talk about crazy with them. That is Unfucking believable that you would say something like that. All right. Okay. Here we go. It should be a polar off

The polar opposite. Fuck you This is my boyfriend. Hey, what's your name, man? Claudio. Yeah, you don't know who us Uh, mr. Kuhn. Hi, Claudio. No, no, um, Um, you see your parents. I'm sorry. Um, you don't know that we have a podcast. You don't know that Uh, no, she doesn't talk about it. I was like, what do you do for work? She's like, uh, I hate doing it All right, fine. Um, all right. So what's your name again? Claudio Claudio. How old are you? I'm 18 Do you live far? Uh, Burbank come on in come on in. Don't mind Julio. He might stay out there for a second

Okay, stay out there for a second. What should I come on in? Let him let him in. All right. Come on in. Yeah, okay. You're crazy Come on in. So, um, Claudio, 18 years old. Yeah, no, no, let's make it a 2021. Yeah, it's weird. Okay already. Yeah, yeah She doesn't like because she's 19. Yeah, but she doesn't like 18 is what I'm saying. Hi. I'm 30 I'm 24. Uh, it's okay. 23. 23 is perfect. I'm 23. You're 23. What do you do for work? Oh, I work at, uh, BP What's BP? British petroleum Oh, you were you have a real job. You work at British petroleum. What exactly do you do there engineer?

What kind of engineer of chemicals? What kind of chemical are you familiar with polymers? So it's like a high density plastic. So what we do? Yeah, I do actually, you know, my my my my friend Gilbert's dad works with Polymers, so I could call him right now and see if he can corroborate your story. Yeah, that's cool. That's cool You work with polyameters Polymer polymers. Yeah, it's not a long term thing. I'm thinking of opening a restaurant. So you're an engineer at BP and um Your virgin. Oh my god, we don't ask that. I do. I ask that. No, no, no, no, we don't we don't we don't ask sex I ask personal sexuality. I ask it. That's pervy. No, you know what? I think she's right

Virgin that's right right and um You know that jules is religious Oh, I didn't she never told jules. She is what are you? I'm Catholic Oh, yeah, I yeah, she never mentioned it. She's catholic

Okay, okay. Are you catholic? I too am catholic. Oh, yeah, what are the seven sacraments? I'll tell you what church I go to st. Mary's perpeterian. Oh catholic church. Did you also say presbyterian? Yeah, slash slash. Oh, so it's catholic slash presbyterian. Yeah, because it's where non denominations It's also a piscopal. It's interesting. Oh, this is very you guys are very open. Yeah, very. That's cool Right, and we celebrate by singing hymns. I love hymns. We have shabbat everywhere. Yeah. Yeah So when you come to our church, right, there's a lot of Lord have mercy on our souls have mercy. Yeah, there's no beat. There's no beat there. Oh, I'm sorry It's on a rave. I DJ on the side. Sorry. Okay. Oh, you DJ on the side of music. Do you play? Yeah, synth wave

A synth. I love synth wave Yeah so so um, we're religious and um, you know, um I have great intentions. Great. Right. That's I just want to put that out. I just don't want Here's what I don't want bro. Yeah a lot of you know is I don't want her to go So Tito Bobby, I'm pregnant. Hey, man. I'm Catholic now. You're Catholic too? You're Catholic too? Slash Presbyterian. Okay, so that's what I don't want. That's not gonna happen And if I will destroy you, I believe you I'll be I'll be real right and um, she needs to be home by midnight

Every night Absolutely, that's actually what makes yeah, that makes that's perfect and you can have sleepovers That I have to be in the room What? Yeah, yeah, I need to observe. I'd love to learn whatever you do in your career as well So when you're sleeping, I will be observing. That's fine. Ew No, I'm not gonna be literally in the room. I want to build a um observation Deck, you know what that I feel more comfortable with that. Yeah. Yeah, so it's gonna be like flag that george No, don't flag that that's gross. It's like you want to watch two young people

No, they're not gonna they're not gonna do anything. That's why I'm gonna be there Oh, it doesn't happen. It just sounds so gross. It doesn't matter. Do not flag that flag that there's no I'm sorry. Do you guys have a personal assistant? Yeah, that's george. That's you made or don't flag it because it that's yeah I think you're misunderstanding what I'm saying is is that you know, I don't want anything to be going on So I'm going to have sort of like, you know, how they have interrogation rooms at like like double mirror double mirror Oh, it's kind of like that black mirror episode where the mom kept tractor for child I may or may not be there but just know that I could be there. So just don't do anything is basically what I'm saying I don't have to do with anything weird. Okay. I got it. Got it. Don't flag that george. Don't flag that. Yeah, okay

Can I get a pepsi? But we don't we don't have pepsi products here. Are you a pepsi guy because that would be a deal breaker for us Oh, no, I just want to make sure Filipinos we don't as Filipinos. We don't deal with pepsi. They can date her. You can date her Actually, you know, I I I'm sorry claudio. Um, I'm gonna have to speak to you on the side just one on one Sure, let's go. Oh, wow. You got a fucking huge foyer What the fuck? All right, we're cursing in front of him. Oh, he comes with us. Oh, yeah Assistant george step back

Step back. All right. Nice legs Thank you. I'll give you my debrief later. Okay, miss kyun. Uh, it's nice to meet you. How do you seem like a really nice guy? Um, look, um, all I ask is um, you can do whatever the fuck you guys want But if she shows up and she's pregnant, we're not ready. We are not ready for that type of You chew on your dick. Oh god. Yeah, you're back in the room. I'm sorry. Okay. Once you chew on your own dick Yes, sir. I'll chew on it Okay, so um, we'll know that can't you just rip it and that's it. No, no, no She's gonna rip it. You're gonna chew on it. I'm gonna chew it on

We need to come back. All right. Have fun kids and then we just jab it back in that whole work. I need the bobby So that's how it go. That's how I go. Wow Oh, you're leaving. Yeah, okay. Where you guys going? Where you guys going? To his house All right, be on by midnight. I didn't say that be on by midnight. We're going to amc. All right movie theaters jewels Geez house right away if you went on a date with a guy right and then you somehow saw me at the restaurant I wouldn't say hi to you

He even finished the question So if I would never say hi to you You wouldn't say hi to me at all. You pretend you didn't know who I was Yeah, you're making your life more difficult that way. Oh my god, because if you did that then he's gonna go out of his way To just humiliate you humiliate the fuck out of you. So you wouldn't It was about me. I would say hi to you. Okay. Thank you. What would you say out of me? I just know you'll embarrass me. Okay here. We're we're let's say we're at a amc, right? We're getting popcorn Okay, we're at it. Well, it was really great meeting your parents slash

I guess uncle too. Yeah, that was cool. Super nice. Yeah And then you guys are in the theater. Yeah, we're just waiting in line at the concessions and then you come in Yeah, okay. So you guys are online. You guys keep talking. Yeah, it's uh, I um, you look for a favorite candy Oh, man. Moulin two is gonna be great I like M&M's. Is that your no, I don't know him Yeah, he's wearing this. I can't wait to watch Moulin two. Hey, that's what we're watching. I know you want to get popcorn It's on me guys Who are you?

Uh You remember hi claudio. You don't need you don't need to say hi. I know but you would do that. Hey, you would do that Yeah, I don't really or just run away You what are we're into the theater jules. Let me promise you that he will run at right after run out. No, you know what jules live your life I don't care It did whoever you want, you know what don't live with us I want you to live a life man. I want you to go out and um experience everything that life has to offer But you'll be back

Because there's not a honestly, there's not a better job than to be the co-host of bad friends well I mean the co-host of tiger bell here. We all love it here too. Yeah Jules, what do you think the we're in george. We're talking about we didn't the average age of your friends is Like now average age like because you hang out with all the guys at bad friends us here roger Like what is that? He has like 55,000 friends back home that he talks to every day. Okay. I mean like during like in the Because I feel like pandemic have you didn't really get to

Go out and be a lot of people Yeah, but because I think calila told me to go on dating apps By the way, that sounds fucking horrible when you just say it like that. I'll see she says she suggested it What did you practice? I didn't tell you to go on dating apps. I was like this is before the pandemic I was like, you know, you're 19. You're 18 You know, if you want to go on dates be my guess I had to tell tell her that without bobby in the room because he'd freak out because he's very

Anti that I was like if for anything just to practice conversing with people Like just to because you know like english is her second language I was like just to practice chatting and kind of like feeling comfortable in like a date setting and like getting to know people Just for those purposes alone. Have you gone on any dates or did it all? All no dates. No dates, but I talk and I'm more comfortable already. Wait, what happened to that one guy? Claudio there was a couple. What about that one guy the mechanic? Not the mechanic that's filipino one. Oh, I'll join. That's a yeah. It's a name Oh, we we just didn't talk. Um, you wanted to get serious

He wanted to and then I didn't you got the ick. Yeah The ick is irreversible guys Mm-hmm. Sorry. I can't you haven't gotten the ick for me yet Oh, that happened a long time ago. I just I work past it. Yeah, why? How do you how do you do that? How do you work? You know what? I've never I've never gotten the ick from you. You're what I deserve you deserve. I wasn't very I wasn't always great with boys when in my 20s and this is my punishment

And I I know it and I I accept what God has given me. Yeah, this is the punishment I deserve You deserve this. Yeah garbage Is it weird? I mentioned this to Bobby earlier that George used to live in that trailer back in LA which the silver one Yeah, any fuck two and a half women in there two and a half. Yep. So what was one of them a little person? No, no, it just wasn't wait two and a half in one night. No, just overall I'm 12 years. So, uh That's that's trailer has an interesting story. My dad bought a steam engine I You know how to make any story sound boring

Just skip ahead five because if you say it's an interesting story, it better be interesting It is look at the trailer. I know but I want to see what comes out of his mouth now the provenance of that trailer I love that way my father is big into steam engines He was president of the steam automobile club of america And so he just travels the nation looking for steam engines that people have So he found that one that like that was the trailer for the steam engine But the problem is he put that trailer on top of another trailer and it was all too heavy So the tires were going to pop on the way back to michigan

So he said just leave that trailer and the front yard So then That was like a month or two before brice moved out to be my assistant a maker And we were like that's a perfect. We're going to make brice live in the front yard And uh, you know, we'll establish the pecking order of everything. We're fine just uh Every month keep uh keep beers in the fridge So then you should be a storyteller on calm I'm about to fall asleep

I'm still intrigued. I think there's a third act. Go ahead. There's a third act So then we went and did one uh one trip for like new years and brice just unloaded all of his stuff into my room And I was so mad. I was like Bryce you motherfucker if you're gonna make my room dirty. I'm moving to the trailer And you'd have to stay here and pay rent Oh, I see and Then I saw like this flag this No, we're not flagged it. I saw a little smirk on brice's face like that was exactly what he wanted

Yeah, uh, so I lived in the trailer for what like six months. Well, I was a senior producer at maker studios It looks really cozy. I mean, I don't what's their bed in there. Is there a bullet hole through it? There is a hole in it Um, I don't think those are bullet holes. Those are just rivets that fell out It's got a nice little sunroof. It's beautiful. I like it and what doug told me you would have like electricity in it I got electricity in it. I did everything can I buy it off of you so that that could be joules' house Yeah, when she's in college and doug said that uh that was parked underneath the grapefruit tree So like if you had girls over you just hear giant Is there an interesting story about your ellen john glasses?

Uh, yeah, you copped my style when you went to bought gucci's in uh In hawaii. I copped your style. He said he did the lenses first with color Then hawaii you're inspired No, no, no I would go more hit mitch headberg, but you know you can call it what you want. Oh, it is very mitch headberg. It's got a headberg Yeah, oh you guys want to know um had a very interesting dream last night I want to know you guys's take on it But I don't know if this ever happens to you but you ever like dream of somebody else and you have a full blown relationship

And love affair in your dream and then like you're just reeling the next three days Like you genuinely feel connected to this person you've never met. No well, I had Unfortunate for you because I've had so many love affairs this way But yesterday I was lucid dreaming and I had a full blown love affair with daniel cormier Wow I mean like we were so in love. We were in a uh, it was just so sweet and and and I kept saying like Hey, what about your family? What about your family?

Like don't you love like your wife and he was like, oh no, like we've been separated I was like, yeah me too, but then bobby barges through the door. He's like, we're not separated But then dan dan cormier was like hitting it from the back while bobby came in the room and bobby started crying And I was like, don't cry sweetie. It's over between us and then I bet you didn't start fucking when I was crying He went even harder While commentating But then I was telling him my story. I was like, you know dc I was like when I was younger my dream was to take my goldberg's job and be a color commentator myself for the usc

And he was like, wow, you can still achieve those dreams kalayla and then Somewhere like I heard like a faint sound of popcorn popping in the distance. I was like, what is that? And sure enough it was bobby farting and it woke me up For my wonderful lucid dream and then I go on twitter and the first thing I see on my twitter timeline Is ariel hawani posting happy happy birthday dc And the picture he posted of dc is of him in like a hotel room bed And it's the exact same bed that I had in my dream with the white sheets and everything. I was so tripped out I was like, what what does this all mean? Like what is this is like desert magical lucid dreaming i'm having wow

But I'm so in love with him right now. Like I cannot get over him. Wow um I'm still in love with you too, babe. I'm just saying like that's what lucid dreaming does that was so vivid So specific Every detail I've never had a dream like that Never no, I've never had a dream where I'm seeing some other woman Oh, now is do you feel bad that I do? No

Just I wonder what's going on subconsciously there Nothing. I've done this my whole life because my dreams are like, um There's a mountain Okay, and the mountain On top of this mountain is a golden statue of you Right like, you know adonis. Wow, right and I'm trying to get up there right because I know that you're If I don't kiss your mouth. Yeah, you're sleeping underneath the statue that you're not gonna live Oh, you're like dying like sleeping beauty. Yeah, right and I'm the mountain is also with their spikes in it

And there's like little holes like indiana jones. Yeah, where if I hit like one little like little rock a spike comes out You know what I mean? So I'm like dodging it like that Right and then there's also a boulder is crashing down. Oh come on like meteors. This is hard And I like and the boulders come down and I'm ah, right, right? But and I'm getting tired and I'm not even I'm like only five feet from the ground and it's a 10 000 fit You know, I mean mountain, right? Yeah, but I get up there and I'm scarred, right? I'm bleeding. I'm dying. I see her body and I kiss her mouth and she awakens Right and then love. I'm just like, you know love lucid dreaming trance. Wow, you know what I mean?

Those are my dreams jules. Do you dream? Um, I sometimes dream, but I've tried dreaming like yours that the are you really who is a guy you've really She tried but I'll show you a picture of dan kormie after this deals Who's the person that you've had like a love dream with? It's always someone I don't know what the but it's always like someone who's tall who's really Has a nice body. Oh, I know it is cloudy jules. Do you know what jules admitted to having a crush on? And we batted it down. We were like, no, you cannot. It's slot on he brought him a bitch Yesterday, she was like, you guys know slot on

We were like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he showed immediately He pulled out the youtube video of him doing the bicycle kick Versus england. What do you like? What do you like about him? I just I just found him on tiktok and then that's where you found slot on not on the premiere league on the pitch He watched on tiktok. No, and then he was hot You know, it's it's funny, you know, the women the girls like you. Let me just say something. Okay, it's funny Because growing up when you're a young guy, right and you're like five two And you have no like, you know skills whatsoever and you're around attractive women or whatever girls, right?

They always talk about You know, I mean, oh, this is my dream guy. They're they're either like zlatan or jaredledo or whatever, right? And you just think to yourself. I'm just I'm speaking to the guys that look like me out there. That's listening All right, the guys that right now are in their early 20s. They can't find anybody Eventually those guys hurt them They hurt them emotionally. They fuck them over the cheat on them and then eventually they'll come to you That's not a very exact way to sell yourself. That's exactly what a good mantra So all you have to do my friends. All right, listen, I'm a cult leader, right? My friends. All you have to do is wait

It's a waiting game, right? And then when they come to you, you could You can do anything that you want, right? Now these women they have these grand dreams of these guys And it's like one they could they get burned and they hurt and when Stop ugly guys have hurt me the most in my life Ugly fucking undeserving little gargoyles have been the biggest heartbreakers of my life Including you no show. It's so cold out here. It's hard to podcast by the way I'm like so distracted by the cold and how miserable. I love how george was the only one who got up

I'm like so miserable out of there. There's like wind like dust blowing in my eye. I'm watching you're like Yeah, the tears Yeah, this is the worst idea In the state this is the worst this is the worst idea. But my point is is that um guys listening, right? Just didn't know this, right? They will come to you and you will one day have the power And those guys also that that jewels likes these muscular guys. What do they end up doing? She doesn't like muscular guys She likes a lot. You said tall

No, she likes guys with jewels like you like character and swag. Yeah Yeah, and no, you don't like it. I like it. You gotta go with a four foot four foot eight Pudgy her crush is really short Didn't you have a oh, yeah, yeah, and he's not shorter than you and he's like a nerd Shorter than me shorter and he's a nerd. Okay to be fair. She does like you like timothy shalamet. I'm not doing that Yeah, I'm not wearing that That has he doesn't trust pox blankets. I don't I don't like putting my skin on other people's skin I'm gonna have a cigarette

But how much time have we done? Uh, we're at 43. We can take a break. So I can put new batteries Well, let's talk about Here, let me I have some I mean just being around this space What do you think goes on here because I kind of talked to Doug and George Well, we should explain what the place looks like to the audio actually. Yeah jewels. Could you describe? Yeah, let's have jewels Clap the boat this place Oh, give me a spider What it looks like it has a lot of joshua tree

That's the first thing you notice with that all that up right there literally from where we're sitting. There's not a single joshua tree inside Joe's like the one I've been looking at the whole time. There's one the one there's so many joshua one tree There's a dirty couch Okay A lot of trailers. Can I tell you the first thing I noticed what like the other day we were driving we saw the sheep What sheet sheep? Oh, those are goats, babe Whatever. Hey, what's the difference tomato tomato? What's the difference? There's a big difference. When's the goat? When's the sheep but they're white and fluffy

No, they were Brown goats. Okay. Well now Wait, what do you think the difference if you had to figure it out? What is the difference between a sheep and a goat? Okay, noise wise. What sound does the goat make? Let's start with noise. Oh, go goat Right cool and then she goes Like that. Are you just like valves? Oh I owe you I already know jules and I have the same exact answer. Yeah, wait. What's the american sound for for goats?

No Wait, what the hell is that? What has a horse got? Yeah, let me see. Okay. Let me let me do some animal sounds. I really I will try My best to do it. Yeah, you know me and see what you you think it is. All right Cow good cow. Yeah Let's just do obvious ones first Is that obvious?

Chicken I I know this because oh dog. Yeah, it's me. That's not behave. It's not how you do ow It's rough rough or ow ow rough rough is or ow ow Like that. Yeah, here's a little more exotic exotic dog. All right. So am I bad? Okay, so let's go Chinese crested How about this one this one because I've been trying to I try to do a bit about this And so I went online. I went to youtube to see what these animals sound like and I could never get it down, but this is Koala no close up. Oh, hang on. It hit kangaroo. No kangaroo. No Well, it's got to be some Australian one now. Is he throwing us off by saying it's close to koala. No, I'm not

Well, I mean koala is a similar sound Koala has a similar sound Okay, let me narrow it down. All right. They definitely you can find them on islands Right and probably generally Papua New Guinea Oh, it's the um, it's a bird of paradise. No tortoise. Oh sloth Oh, they do sound like that. They do. Oh, yeah. What other animal sounds? I want to go back to animal sounds I want to know what you think a goat sounds like again

um Not that far actually that but that's more like a sheep. Let's hear your goat koala me Oh, how does a goat sound me? Yeah me And then a sheep is by Oh Right like that. Yeah, but goats are very specifically me me Hey, man. Yeah, we have so many goats in the food. Okay. I don't know what these sound like, but I'm going to just see if I can come up Let me try to do with my uh, all right

Rhino yes, yeah, because your hand not the sound The sound did nothing. It was you boy. What do you think I am? Oh That's why I did that. Yeah, they help it out. I wanted to help out the sound Okay, so but I think that with my hand because I don't know what they sound like. So I'm just coming up chicken chicken Oh No I thought you said oh my god

You think that's what was back in me sounds I think it could be if they're just walking chilling without making big no specifically to me That's more like a kawaii chicken the brown ones. No, they go That's what I'm familiar with. Yeah, they're just chilling right? Yeah, I was doing kawaii They're trying to like if it's a rooster. It's definitely talk to cow. Oh Do do a proper talk to cow um That's not talk to cow Joe

When flower did that I was expecting the same amount of syllables just like I thought that was Celine Dion singing It's talk to cow All right, how about okay, how about and let's all do an animal that I don't even know if they make sounds But let's just see what you know what I mean. So what would a turtle sound like? That's mine don't turtles make that like when they're having sex they go I've never seen turtles having sex skills. It's not my best. Yeah, that's not something that I look up on me either Yeah, yeah, god

Ask you something No, let me ask you a question Claudio Claudia Claudio That you know what they do. No, no, why why would they have sex as they do this with their Flippers they face each other. Yes, and they do this. Well, wait, it's so hot. They wave their hands You explain to him what like how they position and it's a screech I I've never you know, you might be right guilt. There might be a screech, but I just know that they they do this Okay, what am I doing right now? Ribbit ribbit

Frog good. That was a good one universal thing ribbit. I think ribbit's universal. Okay. Well, I was I got one right Let's see. I think we should have a tiger belly animal sounds coffee book. Please. Um What does a bunny rabbit sound like? I don't know. I've never heard a bunny That's all folks. That's like about That's the only bunny. That's a guy. Yeah. What's up duck? Oh What's up duck is more famous. What's the other one there? Is that the pig? That's all. You did porky pig. I did porky pig. Sorry Wink wink. I was watching an antique road show yesterday and I got fainted from what? Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah

so he So he was um in the viet well, he was stationed in Thailand during the vietnam war And he goes, you know, I want to get a Rolex And they were at the time was $475 And he you know, they don't get paid that much. So he saved up all this money He got it and he said he spent so much money on it that he just put it in a fucking safe when he got back home and never opened it Never you wore it never opened it. Okay for like 40 years kept all the papers kept all the papers. It's just not safe

and The guy was saying You know the appraiser was saying that, you know Ones that have been used are worth $200,000 and then you could see the guys eyes go What? Because you know, they never even you know, he goes, but this is the greatest watch I've ever seen at the antiques roadshow. Oh how much and he goes. This is the perfect example and I and he goes Thank you so much. You know when they say thank you so much for bringing it in the guy goes

Tell me tell me you're right and he goes $500 to $700,000 and the guy just fell in the ground on his back And he got back up and he as if you and he was just kidding And then the guy goes, I'm not done Because this this and this and this right It's worth even more and he goes on you know antiques roadshow those guys are like all christians I said they don't swear he and they had a bleep. I've never seen anyone bleep before Yeah, you gotta fucking be kidding me And the beep and the beep was

Loud and the appraiser was like Yeah, yeah, but that's amazing. Wow, but who do you sell that to because you still have to sell it, right? We put it in an auction. Oh No You put an auction even if dude, even if I got the low like imagine $500,000 is a lot of money Yeah, correct half a million half a million was a lot especially if you don't have money So it's just like, you know, that's amazing that that happens. So I kind of think to myself. What can I buy right now?

Right and that just not ever use. I was I was thinking that my toys were like that, but they're not right. No, we don't know Oh, yeah, we have so many because I have so many designer toys that I never opened out of the box And so I just that's why I keep them So hopefully because back there was there was a time when I was on mad tv where designer toys was in So it's spent half my fucking paycheck on just going to these toy stores and buying You know limited edition, you know Toys by artists and whatever. Yeah, and then that's why I keep them. But I I can't see That their worth is going to be it's going to it's not going to be like

you know, I mean a I don't think it's going to know Something is worth, you know is It's going to be worth a lot at that moment that they're getting it. You just have to believe that it will Yeah, you know grow in value over time We should try that now. Can you two be the appraisers and jewels? Can you pick up something from here? I want to see bobby Klyla appraise it

All right, look around Oh, you're actually take. Okay She's gonna take a you got to give it to me. Yeah, you have to give she has to give it Okay, let's see All right guys, what do you think is will gain value over time jewels? Okay. Jules has stood up. She's yeah She's wearing around because I watch so many antique road shows. Yeah, I want to see if you do the bs Yeah, I watch so many so I think I can do it. She's walking inside one of the trailers here. All right I don't know what she's she grabs it

She just goes in takes a nap whatever She falls asleep, you know a gold bar that we have stored out here for the apocalypse Just grab whatever jules. It doesn't matter what it is gold or crypto. What do you get? Okay, okay, tell us your name. Okay, so let's go in the mic first. Okay Okay, go and tell us what you have where it came from Well, I'm the one I'm the appraiser. I'm the one to tell you but she used to be like I found this thing in my All right. Yeah, okay. What's the history jewels behind the provenance jewels? Remember we talked we talked to you about provenance the other day and you're talking to tina and jake

Tina and jake we're upraising this was so where'd you buy this? Where'd you find this? Piece of oh, it's oh, wow It's a necklace My great great grandmother gave it to me Okay, let's have let's have bobby have a look at it. This is jake. Um, where where did your great great grandmother live? It's a locket. Yeah, she was from sebu Oh, and this was during the spanish war spanish war. Wow Well, um, when you brought this to um to us, um, could you could you see that was visually shaking?

Because um, I didn't know this that I noticed that jake. Yeah. Yeah, so you noted my shaking. Um, and I could hardly breathe because um, what you have right here is King philip king philip What king philip? Well, it is a king philip Limited edition, um locket, but what's great about this was designed by tiffani Magellan, um jeweler Yeah, tiffani Yeah, what's tiffani's last name? So what I find so special about this is the company tiffani, you know, I've heard of tiffani

Oh, tiffani, babe. You got to go with the real provenance of it Maybe I've watched enough When we're doing improv Give me notes on the improv I know but you You're the one that came up with the You know, I mean that it's from that You're the one that came up with king philip. Well, it's her great great grandmother from the philipine

I know that's why I'm still making it up. It doesn't matter. What's the fucking stuff from the top? Hey jeweler, stop from the top stop from the top. Are these appraisers kind of sketch? Tina jake have different stories. Yeah, you can't go against the fucking yes and agree agree agree Okay, all right. Yeah, there's gotta be realistic for me Try your best to be real Why don't we do this? Why don't we do this two different appraisals? Yeah, what you you you get this appraised for through for first And I'm not I'm not even in the picture So you

You should be a bystander that's visibly shaken You know when you first walked into this into the room and I caught a glimpse of this in your hand Did you see that I was visibly shaken? Oh, you're gonna use my fucking dialogue Good line. Good. You're gonna use my fucking dialogue. That's my dialogue start from the top. Oh tina great stuff. Tina Tina great stuff. That's unbelievable You're a thief. You're an improv thief Just visibly shaken. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, use your own language This is because

This right here has been the only missing piece from king phillips Gift to majelin when he first landed in saboo. He had a collection of 18 necklaces that he gifted his captains And this is one of them and this is the one that we've been looking for for over 200 years. Wow Um, so I would say um What did they call those things that when they have um, um, were you talking to The cameraman Gaffer

Imagine her asking that question to the cameraman. The cameraman's like, I don't know Yeah Now I would say that given the The mint condition that this piece of jewelry is in roughly this is valued at Now have a seat because I don't want you to are you ready for this number? Yes. This is valued at roughly 11.5 million. Oh My god Jules, what do you think? What do you think?

Um, it's very shocking Are you visibly shaken? Yeah, and now I'm going to pass this over to my colleague jake. No, no completely different completely different day Completely different day because now I have to upper now. I have to upper I have to make it even more. You know what I mean? I have to up it No, I don't get the tire. I want to do the same jewelry I don't get a tire. Give me the jewelry jewelry

I can't say jewelry either, babe Can you say jewelry, babe? jewelry Okay, so jules, uh, you're actually going to a different appraiser to make sure that that one was correct. Oh my god You know when you brought this in I nearly fainted I've only seen this in historical books and um You know because I'm not only do I appraise jewelry. I'm also a um

I'm a professor of religious studies. What and this item here at first. I thought it was a um A fake, you know This is the real deal. This is You've heard of Mary Magdalene Okay, okay right Um, this is a bracelet. You know what I mean? Ann and necklace. Wow. Well at first it was

I don't know. Let me ask you this to tell you the story behind this, right? At first this was a bracelet that was hanging around Mary Magdalene's wrist, right? And then um You know, we know the story of Jesus And in Bethlehem when Jesus was born Mary turned it into a necklace And he put it she put this around Jesus Christ This is the this is the necklace that she put around Jesus Christ's neck

Okay, he wore this Right during the Last Supper if you look at all the paintings of the Last Supper Yeah, I do this is the necklace that Jesus Christ was wearing And when he was being crucified on the cross, right? This too this necklace was the necklace But what's special about this necklace is that's not special Jesus Christ Yeah, yeah, what's no what's even what people don't know about this. Okay is is that when the roman Stabbed Jesus in in in his abdomen, right to bleed him out, right this necklace fell in the hole

What? Yes right Jesus Christ would have bled out immediately Right, but this necklace stopped The bleeding right tamponade that would suffer more So if you look at the dna on this, right, you will see right residues, right residues Of Jesus Christ's blood residues

On Jesus Christ's blood is on this right This particular item will change nations Whoa, yet this This will change, you know, I mean humanity and culture in a way that um, you've never seen before This my friend if I were to praise this right and if you were you would get this insured, right This would probably be 2.5 Billion dollars in the oh my gosh because of Jesus's blood that's on this Uh necklace, I had to up yours. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So this is a great find. I can't hear you

Oh, this is a great That should have sidebar sidebar impromptu sidebar impromptu open the locket. Yes, I will open the locket. We'll be in there. Yes Oh, the Jesus blood got it really all crusty. Oh, this is this is right here. Who is it a picture of? There is no photos, but if and if this was if the if the little pictures were in here, right? Um, this would be worth a lot more But it got lost through the years, right? But originally this photo was saying Jake that there was um photography back in bc Well in God, it's God So yeah, God checks out. Yeah, it's checks out and

God He it's God. So it originally there was a picture of Mary. Uh-huh. His parents and God God's face was here and back then it was just a cloud Wow, you would just see a cloud, right? But um, so if you had the if you had the original Photographs, right? It does have Jesus's blood right here on it. So that gives it, you know, I mean, that's the dna That's the dna, right? But um, it would probably be worth 30 billion dollars. Wow, right? So congratulations here Can I have it? No You know the one of the most popular names of um, Filipinos when they named their kids is Jejomar

Yeah, you know what it would it's after Jesus Jejomar Jesus Joseph and Mary Jejomar. Oh my gosh. She's Jejomar, right, right Joel? Is that real jules? It's true. Jejomar. Yeah, Jesus. Why were you going to hand me a tire? How the fuck would I be able to fucking make? Oh, you can I can't it's the original She said she could all right, so I'm yeah, yeah, I'm gonna All right, so I'm gonna be the guy bringing in the attire. No, no, no, she brings an attire you I do my own upraise I can't do a tire. I can do a tire

I can do a tire. Give me a tire give her the I can't do a tire Yeah, I was like, this was the first tire from god Kala was photographer that first tire ever invented. Yeah. No here. I have a story behind Ooh, this is a good one. All right, Jules. So I'm sorry Okay here, okay Wow, is Jules rolling in the back? Did you see that when I first saw this? When you came across the room from across the room. Did you see that? I was visibly shaken

Yes, I saw another fucking stolen fucking line. It's still here. Yeah I can I can hardly hold back my tears when I look Roughly around the 1300s the first rubber tree was discovered And the first rubber tree was in Mindanao in the Philippines And it soon became Oh By the time the 1900s roll around it became the number one export rubber became the number one export

The first country to have garnered this piece of rubber was korea. This is the original hankuk tire. Whoa Real facts from the hankuk dynasty real and after that the race car driver senna from brazil acquired this for roughly $4.5 million How much 4.5 million noted but after You second appraisal. Yeah, but after senna died. Yeah, he passed it on to michael schumacher michael schumacher has then Kept it in his warehouse because he has gone through a traumatic brain injury And his warehouse burned down except for this piece

And so I would say if I were to upgrade it appraise this and ensure this I would say this original hankuk tire is roughly $35 million. Wow backed up with facts as well. Okay. Wow. That was good I do not think anybody could ever offer more than that for that tire. Congratulations on your piece of art Here you go pass a tire to you bobby different day different different day. She keeps calling me back the next day Okay This guy does it with one hand I'm armless the one armless

appraiser when you When you brought this tire I nearly oh, you know that the medical people came here and the ambulance came here to revive me because I um I literally went into a coma. Okay when you brought this in So what you don't know about this because um, there's timelines here. Um, and this deals with time travel. All right Kept from a black hole like that. No, no, no, let me finish mine. I didn't interrupt yours. All right What you don't know is is that um 40 years from now, um, Nathan Bartholomew

We'll we'll invent time travel. Okay, and um, he creates a portal right to the beginning of time. Mm-hmm, right? Uh, the land where there's dinosaurs Okay, and um, this is a pre caveman if I may say Yeah, no, well 40 years from now. All right, Nathan Bartholomew, right creates a time machine and he Drives his Range Rover through the time machine two prehistoric times, right? And what happened is as soon as um his, um Range Rover lands in prehistoric a fucking t-rex It steps on the Range Rover killing Nathan Bartholomew, right? But leaving one tire. It's crazy leaving one tire Now cavemen were watching this

You know what I mean go on this this episode go on and they they all surrounded this tire, right? Mm-hmm. It inspired them to create their own tire. This was the very first Tire right of mankind, right? It started tools. It started, you know, I mean it started man's evolution to evolve Okay This tire right here is A billion years old Whoa

Right, it survived all this time right a billion years old this right here since it started culture than the sun Yes, it started humanity. It started, you know, man's um Um Search for knowledge and to grow right 30 billion dollars this tire beat the other appraiser Always beats the other appraiser. What are you raising your hand for you're not a fuck? Who are you? Um audience member audience. Yes

Jules, could could you tell me the provenance of this tire? How did it come into your hands? Where did you find it? Yeah? Yeah? my My father had this And he told me that he found this while he was hiking Oh, my gosh. What's your tree exactly? And I can tell you how this tire right When Nathan Bartholomew, yeah, right?

Traveled back in time. It was in John three And there were many dinosaurs here, right? Especially the great t-rex right and Once the cave see he found it in a cave. Did he not? Yeah. Yes That's where the cavemen lived to inspire them to make their own wheel. Hmm, right and they kept it in there And there was a great earthquake Right that buried this tire for all those years But this is actually a tire from the future

Right that ended up in the past. It's incredible. The congratulations Jules. Congratulations. Thank you Wow That was intense. Yeah, do we have an I can't even speak anymore I kind of want to do another appraisal of something right so for the next episode. She can up mine. Yeah I don't want to be the upper. I don't want to be the upper. Would you say cloud 1.2? I 0.9 billion dollars. I would say my story is more believable Yeah That's not about believable. It's about can you appraise it higher? It's about one-uping

Okay, wait, then you go first next time and I'll go up you all right All right, we don't have an unhelpful advice, but we do want to share maybe a quick myth here in joshwood tree That people talk about all the time. Hey guys today's unhelpful advice was brought to you by our big papayas You know, um these patreon names of may They're like family to us. Can I close my eyes and guess how many of them? Yeah, how many? Well, no, can I guess them? I memorize them in my mind. They're seared into my mind these names Well, I was also because I'm going to click I'm creating a clone line. Yeah, and each name is going to be a certain scent So, um, I want to just tell you what the scent's going to be like. Okay. All right. Let's start with judy tan judy tan. Um

fruity Right, um fruity That's it. It's just too much fruit almost A lot of fruit. Yeah, it's like is that's raspberry blueberry all the berries. It's like sangria in a bottle. All right. Kyle snuffer Kyle snuffer Kyle snuffer woodsy woodsy A hint of uh Uh dirty panty perhaps. Yeah, we love a good dirty. That's right when you run into your friends and you have some Kyle snuffer on They're gonna be like, well, you're just in an orgy

Kyle snuffer. Yeah, there we go. What about bond johnson bond johnson. It smells like just detergent I love the smell of detergent like like laundry detergent Bond johnson rachel wilkins. It smells like it's just high-class shit. Yeah Yeah, no, it smells like lavender with um rosemary. You love the rosemary, right? And then also just um Other high-class stuff How about melvin floris a lot of floral notes? No floral his last name's floris. I know, but it's ghetto cologne It's like dracar But like, you know what I mean? Um, not even the name brand dracar

Just it's stuff that you get in teowanna. Yeah, right? Adam lovoi, so I think it's lovois Adam lovois. What do you think george? I'm going to let's go lovois Adam lovois cologne is so expensive. Nobody even knows what it smells like Wow, you know, I mean, it's like it's so that's it's that stuff where you go to the, you know You know, um blooming dales or wherever you get your cologne you go to the cologne section And it's in a casing. Oh, wow. Can I get a sample of that? And they go, um, it's $2,000 a bottle. Yeah, you don't even get to smell it. You show id before they even give it to you

Yeah, javiza's mail. It just smells um Like cinnamon. I love cinnamon. Um incense. Yum, right? Ross douglas. Ross douglas is brand new Ross. Welcome your cologne. It's your brand new your cologne, right? Is what the military uses Wow, it's like ordinance. What is it? It's when you're in boot camp. Yeah, all right It's just free like you you go to the shower Oh, it's you you it's cologne that you just squeak. You know what I mean? It's free And it just smells like, um a white guy

Ross douglas Aaron wasterstrom's cologne It's what does it smell like it smells like, um, you know in church? Yes, that Exactly. That that smoke that they release on catholic churches. That's what it smells too much. It's like a nostalgia to it Yeah, I love that smell. You can only wear it on sundays. Yes, right after confession Yeah, and you know when women you don't wear it when you're having sex No, never because it makes them feel guilty only in confession. Yeah, I make something of catholic. The lord Aaron wasterstrom. Yeah

Noah martini Oh This is cologne from the 16th century. Yes, please. What? No? I don't think that's any good. Yeah, that's wrong the 16th century cologne. Yeah, what is that? It just here's what is it here? Here's cologne, right? Noah martini's cologne, right? It's a let's suppose like I was a treasure hunter And I found a treasure under in the caribbean in some water. I opened it up and it's like pirates You know, so it's really dried in there. Yeah, right, but there's only a little left and you put it on you get hard

Noah martini. Yeah And then nile red. Yeah, what is this cologne smell like blood? Yeah, pure blood It just smells like blood I love vampires come out of nowhere though when you put it on to have that kind of iron smell. Yeah, it's for the iron. Yeah Anyway, thank you This is known as the yucca man. So here's a little excerpt we found in the news and some paper clips The first sighting of the yucca man was reported in 1971 It came from a source not normally given to believing in paranormal activity

A marine on guard duty at the base in 29 palms was found the morning after a shift with his rifle bent in half Although he was barely coherent the marine managed to convey that a huge man came out of the dark toward him As the manager closer the marine realized he was very Hairy he lifted his rifle and ordered the figure to halt but the figure took his rifle from him bent it in half and knocked the marine unconscious Apparently a story says it has it that the the yucca man is commonly said to be over 10 feet tall Less hairy than the forest dwelling sasquatch. The yucca man can be compared to mule deer of sasquatch species And apparently there's a bunch of reports throughout joshua truce saying there's this guy that people see on the road similar to this at night

Where he's just 10 foot guy super hairy and uh, yeah, wow Do you believe it or no? I do I believe in the yucca man because these are there's no like a lot of tall trees And like foliage and a jungle something that big and heightened So it's like if the yucca man was walking around anywhere everyone would be able to see him Yeah, but if he resembles something similar to that of a sasquatch the desert is a great place to camouflage Because it is very brown and kind of like look at that large brown thing. That's like, you know, I mean moving like a fucking animal

I mean anybody would be able to see that. No, I I don't think so because watch Well sasquatch are nocturnal. So yeah, as we all know, but they could also be living in like No, we don't know that you're fucking off grid white fucking Patriot piece of shit like do you visibly see all the coyotes that are living on this land currently? No, you don't because they're hiding in holes Yeah coyotes are 10 feet tall if I saw a clan of coyotes that are 10 feet tall I'll be able to see them What I'm saying is you can't see the 20 coyotes piled on top of each other as a family right now because they're hiding in like

One of those little coyote dwelling. Oh, they hide they piled the shoulder to shoulder. So they'll know they're they're pack animals So they they hang out as a family Hmm, you can't see them right now. Can you in the same way you can't see the yucca man I just don't believe in the not Loch Ness monster Or any of those things you don't believe in any you don't believe in Nessie and all of that I believe in the Bermuda triangle for some reason You know what I find interesting is everyone's so like hell bent on like finding Nessie We have fucking mega mouth sharks in the Philippines. Have you seen those things? Those are far creepier

And scarier than any Loch Ness monster the picture I've ever seen the Philippines bat those bats are massive Oh, yeah, those fun bats or like things like narwhals like those are swimming unicorns Like what are we Nessie at the Nessie is like it's almost like a swimming dinosaur that's supposed to have lived where Scotland Yeah, yeah, UK or something in the water and like the lakes and stuff and it's like this. Is it violent? Is Nessie violent? Uh, no, they just have photos of it. I don't think they've had any of it It looks like kind of like a brontosaurus rex a little bit. How long do they live? I mean the Nessie's got to be like thousands of years old George Uh, yeah that well Nessie. I don't believe in as much as Sasquatch. You believe in Sasquatch. Oh when I went hunting for Sasquatch with Kassim

Bryce and I were out there on like the last day. Everybody was hanging out by the campfire Bryce and I were like, we've got to find this one. We were just out there. How many do you think are around? Uh, so we went to northern California and we went with William Barnes who has one of the most credible Sasquatch sightings He was a gold miner up there. Uh-huh and He said in that area Like a 50 mile area. There were probably five to ten Sasquatch Okay, so how are they just like are are they they are their lone wolves like they're solitary creatures? Yeah

Okay, so they're like a tiger. Anyway, they're They're omnivores they communicate through infrasound so it's lower than we can hear But the other animal anyway, so so you know a Sasquatch is around when all the other animals go quiet When uh, any way frogs stop ribbiting Uh-huh. Oh, that's how you know a Sasquatch is around because they'll just like grab a Grab a frog and eat it. Yeah, I imagine frogs sling around. There he is. Stop ribbiting They do They just die from not breathing. Yeah

That's interesting. That's very interesting. I'd like to find the yucca man. Maybe we'll be lucky tonight. I'm gonna go on a hunt There we go. Any final thoughts in this, uh I'm frozen solid. I'm cold. Okay, and um, but it's beautiful out here. Thank god. That's here Kalila, I don't know I'm frozen. It's beautiful. I don't know I'm happy to be here. I'm happy to be here with you guys. I really like this place if I wanted if I was freaked out about the apocalypse Oh, yeah, you haven't been out here before. Yeah, I'm so glad. I am so happy you finally made it out here Yeah, and you know you're fucked because you gave me the map. Oh, that's fine. You can never unsend that map

I know where to find you always. Uh, well, there's usually a gate, but I'll tell you the code to the gate too. Oh, shit Okay, there's a No, this is technically this is called the Institute for post apocalypse research We're looking for artists and residents to come out here and study the post apocalypse and how to survive We'll show you some stuff up there. It's pretty cool. You can also golf apparently. There's a little golf area there Yeah, yeah, oh, you'll see I think uh, I think my cousin filled up the The water pails for the bathrooms if anybody wants an indoor plumbing here. Is it jungle flush? Yeah, okay easy

She knows that Jules do it any thoughts on this location your trip so far? Are you like it? It's calm And I enjoy being with you guys I love it, but also seems scripted Very scripted. She's like, I enjoy being with you guys. Do a fucking pageant wave bit All right, let's time it. We need at least two minutes of Jules talking. I'm gonna leave. She can go on and freestyle Oh, wait, I'll be chill. Oh, wait. I got the Jules eyes. I love it

I'm all right. Jules. Let's go ahead. George lead us out Jules. Who is what? the whole just Do you have anything to Well, this is like three months later, so it's hard to but three months later. Do you have something to promote? Well, this isn't three never mind. No, because stop helping you're helping her out. Yeah, I'm helping her out The fun is letting her come up with everything Gilbert. I'm the good guy. Look at Bobby in the window. That's so creepy He's taking a shit. Look at Bobby Okay, there you go. All right two minutes starting now two minutes. Okay. You wait once you start talking I'll start it

go Thank you for listening to tiger bellies desert edition podcast and and I hope you listen to more tiger belly. Thank you Two more minutes world peace Um

Well, what do I need to talk about? You will just fucking do it You have one more minute. Um If you want to watch New anime shows you can watch jujutsu kaisen. Yep. I like goju sensei because he's really hot And he's very powerful. Yep. And also attack on titan. Of course the I don't know when the episode will end but the latest episode is really good. I hate gabi. He can she can die I want to look who this up now is gabi and then erin is really has been really hot because he's really like He's he's angry and wants to kill people

Notice how jules literally loves every guy but hates all the women he shows No, I like you said you hit gabi Yeah, because she killed another girl who was really important All right What Sign us out joe sign us out. Also. Do you own crunchyroll? Yeah, okay. I was gonna try to get the man as a sponsor for you, but never mind. Um, thank you for listening again and

Goodbye, or can we follow you? Follow me on instagram Bad friend rudy there you go guys make sure you follow us at tiger belly on instagram at tiger belly on twitter at that tiger belly Follow george george underscore skimba bobby at bobby lee live clally clam dk make sure you watch bad friends You can see rudy on there and also blood bath It's gonna be great guys. Um We love you so much Bye guys and uh, check out george on camera george up in the middle there all people to see your hopeful outfit

Okay, i'm done. This is Um, you decide if you want to listen to george. Um I like I don't know I feel like pooping now And edit there you go guys that's tiger belly and that's what we wanted the whole time So cool Hey Prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad free on amazon music download the amazon music app today

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