TigerBelly - Ep 306: Sam Morril & The New York New Breed

Episode Date: July 21, 2021

Bobby takes an appetizer poo. Sam loses to a mime named Tape Face. We talk A-Rod's amazing Instagram, Bobby's BTK doppelganger, Dave Attell's pillowcase luggage, Simon Cowell's bad mood, and NY vs LA comics. Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Cappians a brief history in human the amount of times that George has recommended this book to you Yeah, no, but this this right here rings true because it's like I've ordered. I've always heard that like gossip Like if you read the book the four agreements The the guy says gossip is you know, I mean black magic and it's the destruction of modern-day Society, right? But if you're saying that this dude wrote a book called sapiens and he's saying gossip is dope I'm gonna gossip the fuck out of where do your thoughts on gossip Sam

It's healthy if you do a decent amount, but if you overdo it, you're gonna be rough You're gonna be a rough person Yeah, like if you do it I think it's healthy to get a little bit out because but if you do it too much you're fucking asshole, you know Yeah, if you do it a little bit though. I think it's like a hell. We do you think gossiping is you know It's like I feel like gossiping is like 40% of what I do on podcast And it's also one of those things where you know, how many people hate me There are people just don't hate you. They don't hate me, but there are people that are always mad at me

Like I'll get a call from Eleanor. I that was wrong what you just said really, you know, I go. Oh Well, he just does this a lot And we've had to talk about it in therapy. It's like the amount of embellishing about Another person who cannot then defend themselves is insane including myself Like like if you do a roast you're supposed to have the other person there, but if you just shouldn't on someone on a podcast That's like that's what all podcasts are. Yeah Yeah, but you but you would think that because I've people have said talked about me on podcast and embellished and you know

I'm exaggerated But I feel like it's just the language of what we do and it's I'm just I know but I just feel like it's fair game Yeah, but you're shaping someone's reputation in the world and they're not able to shape it themselves And I'm not making shit up. It's like if I said like if Sam left and then I go, you know Sam Morel like likes to suck Dog dick. Yeah, but he just told he told me he liked to suck dog dick It was a big dog and I thought That it's dick was human life because of his size. So that's not fair. Yeah Yeah, yeah, but I'm just saying if I right if I just randomly said that that's one thing

But if he shares something about he has beef with somebody I might share that information Tell him one piece of basic information and you can go ahead and say how you would embellish it on a podcast about yourself I sucked that dogs dick in the other room Okay, mama mama. She's a girl, but You I'm going off your all right, so you ate her pussy you ate my dog. You ate my dogs of vagina Yeah, so what I would say is to embellish it would be So we have a dog that no No human the dog hates all humans. Yeah, it gets crazy

You you have to pull him back. Yeah, but for some reason Sam Merrill walks in there and the dog is completely mellow Goes on its back and starts doing this thing, right and the Sam Merrill just starts eating the pussy Starts doing it. Yeah, there's so many things about what I just said. That's wrong Right because that our dog is sweet, but I would switch it so I can make that a story more interesting juicy You see oh by the way when you went in there and you were you're talking to the person there I thought I didn't see a person I thought I thought you had to ask the dog's permission That's why I was like all right. What kind of dog is this?

He starts tiptoes. Are you talking to the dog? Yeah, wait, wait, so was Jules hiding but she was just blended into the couch Yeah, you know how she roll. Yeah. Yeah, and she's also shy So that's why I was weird when you were like you were like it's fine Did you really legitimately not see a person? So I thought I thought you were talking to a dog. Oh, yeah She that girl is our sidekick on the other podcast I do with Andrew Santino called bad friends. She's okay You want a rando by the way? She's my niece. Yeah. Yeah, so it's not a human trafficking thing. Yeah All right, so here are the rules on my podcast Sam sure

Just don't I mean we're gonna keep probably all this in but yeah from now on Until I say your name Don't say anything. I've heard yeah From who my friend in New York City is a big fan. Oh really? Yeah, so you have a friend in New York City that listens to this podcast Oh, yeah. Oh fuck. Yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah violinist Really? What's his name a girl boy? Oh, man, I know I said boy

He's a he's a little Asian boy Who I hang out with because there's another Asian female that's a I think her name is Chelsea and she's a she's like a Carnegie Hall Pianist. Oh, wow. Yeah, she's like amazing, right? And then now I have a violinist. I know he loves you. He's really Yeah, he was really happy. I'm doing all the but he what kind of Asian is he? That's a friendship. Uh, you mean where's he from originally? No, what kind of Asian is oh, he's Korean Did you make that up? No No, he is Korean 100% Korean. He's Korean. All right. He's Korean. I want to get into that

But let's just okay. So start and then don't say it and Oh, anyway, welcome to another it's late. No, it's not It's eight. Why are you fighting yourself? I don't know. I'm just talking to myself Yeah, I cuz today was just so it's kind of boring although we went to that fish place We went to the fish place we went to the fish place that was nice and we met your friend who's a spearfisher Valentine Thomas and she's fear Thomas Thomas less She's a fierce fear fisherman fear Fisher woman. What is it? She's your fishes with spheres. Yes. Spears fear Fisher. Sorry my bet. I'm sorry. I don't know the language

It's difficult for me. Well, you're laughing at Anyway, we got some people in the room. We got Gilbert who? Proud of you, man. Thanks, man. You better pull through. Hey, don't put that kind of pressure, bro You better pull through you gotta coach me. No because I'm gonna say this right now I'm not gonna say what it is But I got him so I talked to a producer of a show I have to do it. I have to do it pressures on now, right? Who's he's like a real high-up producer? And I'm like, can you give my friend? Well, no, he even brought it up because I have a role that your friend Gilbert might be

Good at and so I set it up. You better fucking hit out of the park Congratulations for the idea to see you. Yeah, we've got white man white man Jones right here Doing it, you know, your shoe game is usually good, but that's you what what nah, I You'll have these shoes. Yeah, but this game. I love these shoes with the shirt. Yeah, yeah about the shirt It's like, you know those shoes are is what literally what? Saramon would be wearing like under the robe from like right from the two towers You guys know Saramon anyway, let's let's move on Um

We have a guest today. Oh and You know Our meeting was bullshit. I want to get to it, right? It was bullshit. It was Hollywood. I don't like it But he's a really funny stand-up He's from New York and I've just been a fan of a stand-up. He's so quick on his feet and He you know, he it's that crop of kids From New York, you know, Normand Mark Normand

Is that his name? Yeah, he's done our podcast love them Schultz Right these white dudes this new breed of white dude. I'm telling you right now This new breed of white dudes coming up is so impressive. They put chills down my fucking spine Yeah, okay, and this dude is in that class of white dudes are gonna run shit Right. I'm being be real. That's real dude. That's real honest my opinion. Yeah, Samarill give him a round of applause Thank you. Why was it me? What was it? I'm gonna tell you me and tell me you and I did something bullshit, bro What do we do? I'm gonna tell you

So I'll be honest with you. Yeah, I have never met you before in my life okay, but When we're at the comedy store once you were in the hallway Right, and I knew who you were and I think you knew who I was. Yeah, so I walked up to you and we acted as if We had already met before I'm like, so you gonna do my pocket. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'd love to do it man I'm in town this and that and we just thought we had this like we know dude We had this rhythm as if we did the like I'm Sam. I'm Bob. Nice to meet you. This is that we didn't do that

Yeah, right. It was as if we just Holly. We did it like very Holly I thought you were just I thought you knew that I was visiting and looked uncomfortable and were just being friendly I didn't think it was Hollywood. I thought you were just being nice. Yeah, but it when you meet a human being for the first time Don't you go? My name is Sam. I think I think for some reason in LA. I'm never here So I think some people have just like messes with here and there and then they're just they just do that Yeah, maybe it's Hollywood. I don't know. Yeah, I don't you know because You know like Andrew Schultz when I first met him. He goes my name is Andrew, you know Because it's just like what human beings do, right? Yeah, it's also a kindergartner

But here's another thing that I knew and maybe It's gonna be hard to say I'm gonna say You're great And like I said before you're one of the new you know, but you're also a power couple Oh, okay Taylor. Okay. Sure. Okay. No, honestly because in terms of female comics It's just in comics and I shouldn't even say that because you know, I'm woke I'm slept but woke at the same time Sometimes I'm sleeping, but then I wake up. Oh, there it is. Yeah, yeah

And I and I and I gouged my eyes out and I go she is not just you know She's one of the best up-and-coming from this side of the The the country, absolutely, right and then your New York coming up there and then you guys are together Yeah, right now dating. Yeah, is that out there people know that I mean, you don't like it I don't I mean, I don't know. It's yeah. Yeah, but here's something else. So I know which gives it an added like power When they're a power couple doesn't it or no, I think you're projecting your own dreams. No, I'm not I'm telling you right now if Ben Affleck Affleck, does there teeth the end of that?

Ben Affleck. Yeah, is that his name? You got it. Yeah. Thank you. That's what I said originally. I think so. I was wrong Thank you if Ben Affleck's Was walking down the street, right by himself. Yeah, I'm like fuck this Ben Affleck, right? if it was Jennifer Lopez and him were walking the street there would be So much paparazzi. Yeah from like the bushes and I would be pushed aside I wouldn't even say that out loud because you know, I mean, I would be in such an awe of right So I'm saying that when they're together as a power, right? It has an extra oomph to it does Oh, okay. Is it you know, I mean a butter alone is okay. You know butter jelly, right, right?

Oh, when you put jelly with it, it's it gives it a different vibe. They take time off, too They were too hot and like the early aughts, right? Right, and then you threw a little a rod in there Right, you found out what she was missing, right a little fucking Argo in her life. Yeah Yeah, so do you think that's what that's what happened? You think that they break up, right? But is wait wait, so what's the girl that's in the commercials Jennifer Garner? Yes. Oh, yeah, right? So was Jennifer Garner before J Lo or after after J Lo right? So honestly, this is why Poor Jennifer Garner got the shit out of the stick because they were called benefit and then right after that She got with you know, it's a benefit to like benefit 2.0. That's what she was with him

Yeah, but they were great their own name with them Like what what's Ben and Jennifer together? Benefit, but that's she could have been like jab or something You're right, it's benefit yeah, but you would say jab you be like but it could have been benefit and she She stole it and then she was with a rod, right? Yeah, so he's now doing something with Garner She's with a rod a rod's the best Instagram follow in the world. What do you mean? It's just yeah I'm missing out. Well first off. Do you see that picture that went viral of a rod and it's just like a rod taking a shit? You see in his towel is I think his towel say a rod on them

Oh, no because someone if you could find that picture of a rod taking a dump. There it is. Oh That's a lot that's a lot and he's in like that power Dress I've never taken a shit with up with a button up He's doing the Gilbert Galan style of shitting where his pants he takes his pants all the way down to his ankle Oh, that's my style is off my body. Yeah off your body. I also take my shirt off if it's long What I'm naked. Not me. I take it to here. That's a rescue myth. I I don't care That's you do a hover squat. It creates a different game. Well, your legs don't even touch you open your eyes though No, I have a little pudgy legs. You're who's squeezing out. Yeah, I

So such a well, I have underwear on so Let's see what it is Look at it. My asshole is in the in the hole in the toilet My clothing is nowhere near the asshole. Why isn't this why do I have to take this whole thing off? You don't want to spread your legs wider Like see how you see how his arms are the inside of his leg because I'll tell you why okay because I shit I know every time I take a ship shit. It's like an oh, it's like in the appetizer You're what I just hear me out. I'm hearing baby. Let's get right. I'm just from I know what my bottom my body functions

I know the garbage that I eat. I know how unhealthy I am, right? Yeah, so the first load is just the prequel right, it's like Back to the Lord of the Rings because it's the only move I've seen right Right, it's just watching the fellowship of the ring. So when I shit first, it's the fellowship of the ring We still have the two towers and the return of the King, baby. Yeah, what are you looking at? What does an appetizer poo mean because I'm just saying when you're when you poo After it's all out. Yeah, right. You think you're done, right? Yeah, I'm not

No, I think you sit there and you just like the sensation of the bedation up your asshole because you're stuck in some Freudian state of Liking that feeling of your mom wipe. She's good. That was good. Are you a smooth? That's pretty He sits there 30 minutes. I take a long one. Yeah, I was if my shits are like a avatar, I would say all really long long big and unpleasant Right. Yeah, very blue. Yeah. No, I Go I go wide stance. I think I go wide like like I'm asking a woman to stick her finger in it during sex Ah, that's how I I respect that because I think that's the more proper way to do it because the country

I'm from we actually have to sit our feet on the toilet Um, so it's like this The squat heels down. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, you're giving a guy a massage or something But that's how we poo at home. Why? It's it's from the land of cats Well, apparently it's better for your overall like digestive health to the angle at which it comes down I was told Bro, bro, I better we're just I just realized something about you. Yeah Yeah

you Are a white kind of white dude that we've had throughout time And just hear me out. I'm excited to hear this. I could see you in the band of brothers Right the show. Yeah, right. I can see you as a 1920s Baker. Oh, right. I can see you right Giving sir William Wallace a sword. Wow, right throughout time. There's always been that face that kind of white dude You were never a leader. No, no, no. Yeah, you were kind of like

The fifth in command like like oh and you said band of brothers. I'm like I ain't making a pass the second scene No, yeah, you would definitely die. I'm not brave. Yeah, you're not brave, right? Yeah, but no in terms of your face structure. Yeah, very bell boy 1940s Like there's something about your face and your body. He's just told me ugly He's like a very like a like like a service worker of some kind I'm just saying look right like you ever seen old-in-time photos to say classic beauty Yeah, you have a call timey face. I like that like like a film noir in the 40s or something Yeah, like let's think of another comic that has that like

Like like I think, you know without the attitude Jezal neck. Oh, right is one of those faces that you could see as a fisherman from the 1800s if you saw a black and white photo Yeah, man. Yes. I'm fancy fisherman. Yeah. No, I'm just saying without the attitude Oh, okay. Yeah, but without the leather jackets and the fucking emo vibe. You know, yeah, but like emo He's like the most closed Jezal Nick's emo. No, but he dresses very emo like tight You know, I mean jeans you get stylish. Yeah, I like stylish, right? But then there are white dudes that you've never seen throughout history

Like Chris the Stefano. Oh, yeah, Chrissy D. No, you've seen him coal miner. Yeah. Oh, really? No, but like Joey Diaz, he's not he's not white That's why we've never seen you never seen it. You're right Give me another shot. Let me give you another shot. I like that. You've never seen Joey. I'll tell you. Yeah, dang cook I've never seen in 1800s You get I mean dang cook Jezal Nick I don't get how one is like you've seen in the dang cook

Because they cook looks like it look I think it's because he's I think he's done stuff to his face. Yeah, yeah, I see You know, that's why you haven't seen that look They didn't have Botox That's why Come on Bobby. Oh I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm a shawty. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let me think if I have another white dude that like oh Here's a girl a white girl that I've never seen throughout history Whitney Cummings

Mm-hmm. Maybe the dye is that the orange in green hair? Probably maybe yeah, yeah, but I've never looked at like a you know You know like back in the day like in the jazz years in New York in the 1920s Hello, my daddy. Hello, my dad. You know how the white people used to do that. Yeah. Hello, my daddy. Hello, my baby You know me all that and in the girls are wearing the fishnet Stockings and doing that weird dance. I can't see Whitney's face in that. Can you or Or Esther Pavinsky for sure. God's never made something like that before Esther Esther. Yeah, maybe in the form of like a small Japanese boy. That's right. Yeah, cuz I feel like that's Esther Hey, let's go back to you Sam. I'm sorry. I went on a fucking tangent

Which is what I do. Sorry. This is just the image of what's called. You see this Sam. Okay. Wow Yeah, I dare you to just give it a try one time. So I feel like I'm gonna miss and just spray it. I'm gonna have strong So the left is unnatural. Yeah, we're not supposed to be doing that. So, you know how dogs poo? Yeah Well, here's my options The pole dancer Asian squat God the squat the pole dancer is a good one the break the break dancer I've never done that. You got to try that one. I've never done that. I've absolutely done that The lazy I've done the break dancer is emergency shit in public stands. I do the praying to Allah. That's a good stance

The begging for forgiveness is another good one. Yeah, or will that one you do in yoga where you put your foot like this Oh, yeah, I think so There's a figure for your four. Yeah. Yeah. Oh that just burned. Mm-hmm. Very good at it. Okay. Let's not talk about shit anymore Yeah, yeah, I want to talk about you. Sure. And so I'm sorry for bringing up your girlfriend That was because you're you're you're a powerful person on your own And let's just go with that. Okay. So here's the deal and we talked about this earlier. Sure How do you how do you riff so good I I watch you riff it's like I go I would have never thought of doing that. I

You know, I when I when I'm on stage and I hear a heckler You know, I you don't mean I do a face like oh my god, right? And then I'll try to do a one-liner or something to get the fuck out of it But you stay in the pocket. Well, that's my only that's the only thing I have I don't have Well, you have all these other tricks like you can you know, you're a great physical comic, right? I mean, you are I mean, I don't hear me. I'm listening to you. I be listening. I mad TV back in the day I knew who you were before I was a comic. I love average Asian. Oh, wow That's old school. Don't don't make me blush. That's a deep cut. Hey, that's deep cut. Don't make me block

No, I'm loving that. Oh, thank you, man. I mean you have other things I I'm just kind of a deadpan in the pocket comic. So that's my only gear Right, but the gear that you have is like Like quick like your mind, right? It is like because I've seen I like you like it's what's the word for it? quick Right, it's like if somebody yells out like Like I think I heard you do like a fun. It's some lady laughed weird. Mm-hmm, right? And then you were able to go I don't know. I don't because I want to fuck it up

But you said something like well, that was the first time you left because I would have definitely heard that laugh Well, the comics have said that before headbrook said something like that before I just I think I wanted a different direction off that But yeah, I'm not accusing you of being a hack Yeah, yeah And did you just get into town or were you there for the floods? Oh, I wasn't there for the floods I was on the road that was crazy. That looked like another They look like another fucking with it was a movie. Yeah. Yeah, like this subway station like people were going through water You guys are on fire. We're underwater. We should just meet in the middle and you know, right? This is crazy

And I told Collette with the other day I go This could be like the press of like the beginning of like a disaster movie because of maybe global warming I mean, we I don't know right, but they're saying it's the hottest It's ever been in like Death Valley. How do you think you'd fare? In in a lawless world. Oh my god. Horrible. Are you kidding me? Look, you hear you just called me the weakest link in the I'd be a disaster world. I can't drive I'm pretty terrible, but I think that cars will be pretty useless at this point. Well, I can't drive them

I assume I'm gonna be a pretty terrible shot with a gun. So yeah, that's out. Yeah, but I think you could do this Yeah, right. I saw this in a That show black Sunday black summer black summer, right? So this woman has a car and And I don't be offended about what I'm about to say. You're just like Jew No, but I saw scene maybe if you agree with me or not, okay, tell me where a girl has a car and this guy Knocks on the window and he goes I'm not a criminal, right? I just need a ride. My wife is dying, right? Can I just can you just give me a ride? She I don't how do I know? You know, I mean, you're not infected. I know I can trust you. Yeah, he's like

I'm a Christian. I believe in God and this and that right, right? She goes Okay, she goes to the driver like the passenger side. He gets in and he goes get the fuck out Yeah, right. Are you that guy? No, I don't think so. Am I I'm the guy who would fuck her over you mean? Yeah, no I don't think in a desperate situation though. Let's let's say like, you know, your girlfriend Yeah needed the car, right? It's a two-seater Right, would you do go to that length? Well, I just said I can't drive so no Wow, you know how to drive. I have a license, but it was like a bullshit. I got it

I feel you know how to drive dude You be in a car with me and you'll be like this is bad. Really? Yeah, I have a license, but I Every I remember Joe list really funny comic friend of mine. I love them. Yeah Well, we did a road gig once like 10 11 years ago and the deal was we split the driving and it was like 30 hours worth of driving gig-to-gig, you know, and I did 30 minutes. He did he did Like you're a fucking horrible driver. What am I bad driver? Mm-hmm. Yeah Yeah, New Yorkers stank a driving I used to do road gigs with David tell and he would he would drive With he looked like a kid in a toy car. He would just keep doing

Yeah, and I was like, he's he's bad. He's better than me, but he was a bad. He's another New Yorker though I know and you know when I was young Him and I toured did yeah, and I remember he brought I'm not kidding you a pillowcase as his luggage It was like a mask for the rally This is 20 years ago. He used to have like a pillow as it as it you could stick a stick through and it would be one of those like You know it was like yeah crazy, and then I remember Back then he goes we were in Texas, and he goes

I go, what do you want to do after the show? He goes, let's go to the Greyhound Bus station, I go why let's drink coffee and just look at the people Wow, I'm not kidding you So we went to the Greyhound bus station, and we just observed people drinking the coffee Like I've what a great guy. He's my favorite. He's he helped me so much, and he's the best guy I remember we did a gig once in Territown We're driving back and he's he mur- he never feels like he murders, but he murdered murders kills, and then he gets in the Dry back. He's like I'm a hack. I'm a fucking I know and I was like Dave

We all think you're the best and he goes one better than you guys I know What is that about us that we do that because I'm sure do you do it? Yeah, not not to Dave's extent, but like I do it. Yeah, I because you just for me It's like I look at guys like that. I'm like well, how can I think I'm funny when guys like that exists, you know Yeah But it's but we all but honestly We just have our own thing

For sure, and also it's like I think it's also preventative from turning to an asshole You're like well, I never want to be like the cocky guy, but I also You don't want to have too much self-loathing. You're unbearable to be around. Yeah, you want that balance, right? Yeah I had an opener once say to me and this is the last time I used them I'm gonna say his name because he's gonna get really mad because I've said his name before By telling the story. Yeah, but he said he's opener, right? Yeah, what would you do your headlining? Yeah, you bring a feature Mm-hmm. He gets off stage the host goes up to bring you up and as you pass he goes

Follow that. Oh, did he make you smell his fingers, too? That would have made me Yeah, I thought it was gonna be way worse. You're like he raped the way No, yeah, I follow that. Yeah, I mean It's it's because I'll tell you why that disturbs me Yeah, it's because already then you know to him it's some sort of weird competition, right? And it's also I'm You're opening for me. It just seems Is it me? I have an issue with like the opening act to try who's like their mission is not to kill but to blow you out of the water

Yeah, because then it's you're right. It's not about them. It's about you. Yeah, I think you get to a point Like I think most comics when they're opening for too long They get to a point where they're like, I'm gonna fucking make it a point and then it's like well Then you should be headlining you shouldn't be yeah featuring I had a fucking open like a local MC come up to me in Texas and go I'm usually a headliner, but and I wanted to go well then go home Because you're hosting I've had that happen a lot. It's weird. They say that to you. Yeah, well, they'll be like yeah I'm this my off week. I decided to just you know, yeah, and you're kind of like you don't have to have a disclaimer man

I don't give a shit. Just go up and kill. Yeah, and it's also like I've opened for dudes like I mean I want to brag but Martin Lawrence Right and he told me do five now. Could I do longer than five? Yeah, right? Yeah, right? But it's like I'm just gonna do what I do and I'm there to serve him Yeah, right and I and I know that he's a gigantic star Right and that's I'm just blessed to be here, but some comics have this like You especially it must be rough. You're you're you live in the Midwest. You've been in comedy for 15 years, right?

No breaks. Yeah, but you're not making them live in the Midwest move. That's true Yeah, I didn't tell you to live in Toledo Pack a bag and get fucking why do you think people don't do it move fear fear but also like I think there's a comfort in being a bigger fish in a small pond and then I've seen great comics move to New York and it's tough and they're great So it just being funny is no guarantee that things are gonna be easy Yeah, do you want to be a star in a d3 school or do you want to be you know the eighth fastest in a d1 school? Right. Good point. That's true. I think the second

Me too. Yeah. Yeah, I think the second. Yeah, I mean, I remember It's were you good when you moved to New York? Did you start in New York? I grew up in New York? So I I it's weird the thing about growing up there and starting there is that people see you when you suck I was 19. So wow, I mean people saw me at my worst and it's it's weird when you're doing jokes that are like Kind of what you think or like oh, there's kind of a dark premise and you're bombing with it People they just not only don't like your comedy. They're like you're a fucking asshole So it's tough to to like well here's all the worst of me. Yeah, and this is what I'm just gonna be But that could also be your perception of what you're going through

Because I think that like Even when I was like young and in 95 is when I started and I would say cut I don't know how to write a structured joke I'm just kind of crazy up there and doing weird things and maybe some comics were like, you know What do you what the fuck you doing there up there? It's you don't know how to write a joke But there were certain comics like Pauly Saw me as an open-micro and he came up to me back then and he goes You don't know how to write a joke, but they're just something weird about you. That's interesting

Which is the kind of feedback that I like. Yeah, it's like, oh, well, then we saw you. Yeah He like saw who you like. Oh, you see something unique in me. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah, and that and that's for me what? It's cool about Comedy right so in when you were coming up I'm sure like cuz if I'm seeing an open-micro Say something dark and they're committing to it and it's not working. I don't think what an asshole. I think It's hard The fucking thing. Well, Joe, you think jokes are hard at open mics

I feel like when something isn't obvious when with an audience, there's like a deal where you're like I pause You know, that's the joke you laugh and open mic. They're like, we know what you're doing motherfucker We know your tricks. We don't give a shit. All right I mean, I remember a good friend of mine Gary Veter He's got great jokes, but he I remember watching him just bomb at Mike's cuz they were just like obvious Not the premise of the premise the jokes are great. Yeah, but they're just like we we see the mechanics It's so it's hard to do bits at at Mike's. Yeah It's such a it just brings me back to

how You ever think how the fuck did I? Go through that So I don't know if I could do it again. I don't either just because the the mics Suck I would hand out flyers instead because I would just rather Do the handing out flyers and be like why don't I don't even people? I don't know I felt more freedom to fail if they were just strangers Although the looks you would get handing out flyers on the street were just the pity was just brutal

I remember a woman just looked at me and she was like, oh Oh, just call me a fucking loser. Don't yeah, don't go. Oh, yeah I was a flyer giver outer. I hate high school was my first American job How was very proud you like LA fitness? I did as a summer job too for comedy clubs And then I was like this is depressing. Well, would you have to I mean did you have to hand out the flowers for you to perform? Yeah, oh my god. Yeah, and I remember like there were different places you learn the how to work different streets like I do Upper West Side like a hundred and Ninth Street and That was hard because no one was there. You're literally like you see a person like a block away

You're like hopefully I get that person. Yeah, you were literally go on stage where there'd be like four people in the crowd You have to be like hotline up tonight This person's here this person's here and then they'd be in the crowd them and like for their people and they'd be like your first Comic and it would be me and you mother fucker. You you lied to me. Yeah Yeah, no, but If you like a when you're passing out flyers, is there a chance you you're not gonna perform because you didn't pass enough flyers out Yeah, I saw this good friend of mine Dan Saint-Germain He did it once and you have to do it two hours. It's the first time I met him

Yeah, probably like 14 years ago or something and he's hand out the flyers and he goes yeah, I think I'm good And the guy goes you don't have to do 10 more minutes and go on he goes no no No, I think I think I got I'm good. I was like, I've never seen a human being put themselves through that for nothing I was like you put yourself through an hour 50 minutes for no money for no stage time. Yeah, he was just like I can't I can't do this Wow In LA we're not we do bringer rooms here. Well, you can't fly on LA. There's no yeah. Yeah, there's not enough foot traffic Oh, yeah in New York at Times Square was not as bad to bark there because There were so many people that would go by more quickly

What are these easier though is because bringer rooms in LA are like you can't perform unless you bring 30 people 30 I mean, that's what you run out of friends quickly I had friends who were like I'd be like coming to my show and they're like I'm not watching all those shitty They're fine watching you bomb, but like the other Luna tick The three of them are like fucking mental patients that are never gonna do it again Yeah, and the problem with open mics is too is because you're mixed in with the crazies and the homeless sometimes Like when I started open mics in LA in 97 or 98 when I moved here, there was half of them were homeless Right people just street people. I would love to see that show

But you would have to you think yeah, but then they go on and it's like nonsense and you're like I don't want to follow I don't want to live in this like It's I'm it becomes craziness. I'm with you It's you have a guy like Robert William Appravaya and he still does him. He's in a green suit. Yeah And they're doing their own stage right Do a different language right my time and the audience is like Five minutes of this. Yeah, I know you look I had no problem bombing You're like I can handle bombing but they'd be reading the open mic sheet like all right your next comic a BTK serial killer

It would be like and then you're like I have to sit through this shit. Yeah, yeah Wait speaking of BTK serial killer, please pull up his a sketch of the sketch of him. What is it called? Really? BTK sketch of BTK fine torture, whatever Did you get this cookie is yeah, these are the best cookies you really have this before yeah I want you to tell me who you think these are the best. This is a sketch of the real BTK killer. Yeah Damn Holy shit Holy shit, yeah, bro damn

Well, you got a new podcast logo Merch Honestly, that's a real sketch of the BTK Carol. That is incredible. That is incredible. Wow. That was in New York Where was it? Sure, where did BTK to do his killings sure? Yeah. Yeah, I thought I was I'm not actually sure baby. Yeah, his daughter. He's like a daughter all these serial killers have daughters who are like They always had I don't know if you watch the show the one we loved David Lynch one Twin Peaks only had two seasons on netflix mine hunter mine hunter. I'm good. Yeah, you're really good

But most of them carried on like regular relationships like had children I mean even I hate to say our favorite guy But Richard Kuklinski He was like a mafia hitman and he was his sociopath killed a lot of people in cold blood But he desperately loved his family like he loved his kids so much and but you're right. They always have Regular lives outside of the killings. I mean Dahmer had a had a wife right or girlfriend or not Dahmer Ted Bundy. Yes. Yeah, but also Dahmer had a dad Who loved him so much in fact when he was on trial Dahmer's dad came every day

And you know and sat by his son and supported his son. I think the mom bailed, you know, but it's like These people have is that what you wanted out of your dad what that kind of love you always reference like the That the Dahmer dad son love Yeah, is that what you wanted? That's what I wanted on my dad Because it's I like I got It's one of those things where if I went on a serial killer rampage That if I and I got caught I think my mom would show up I don't know if my dad would

At the court cases my dad didn't show up in general No, I don't know what happened. No, I have a great dad but my biological dad just split when I was like, you know Brand new oh You think he'd show up to all your court hearings. Yeah, maybe maybe cuz he'd be my my dad my actual dad raised me Yeah, I think he would he's a he's a great guy. Well, your stepdad raised you. Yeah, and so I call him dad He's okay. I know but he's still your stepdad. No, yeah in case he's listening Our stuff forget that your dad loves you, right? Yeah, but your biological dad. Yeah When you're a kid, I won't say his name. I'll say it backwards Bob

Oh So when you're a kid and when okay, when was your dad introduced into your life? Who who who raised me? Yes when I was like my mom met him when I was like four or five probably Okay, so before that though, you didn't have a father figure No, no grandfather was around but right as a kid at that age. Are you aware that you don't have a dad? No Because your mom probably gave you everything right? My mom ruled. Yeah. Yeah, I have the most overbearing Jew mom Like you don't even like worries more than anyone, but like I see like worry is love because

So now Taylor's like Taylor's like, are you okay? Did you land safely and I'm like, oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, he sees it as just a nuisance every time. I'm like, you know, are you there safely? He's he's just like yeah fucking you know because she acts as if like it's a miracle that I got there That you get anywhere, but it's not it's like Even when we're driving sweet sweetie, it's like I don't get in car accidents that often How many car accidents I've got two or three times a year, right, but I drive every day, right? I've never hit a human one time One time that got that case got settled don't ever bring it up again. Anyway, um

So as a kid you didn't You weren't aware that your dad was gone. No, this guy comes to your life when you're four or five. Yeah, totally cool Yeah, he's the best he moved in. Yeah, well, we moved in with he is too good So we moved in with oh and so then did you get along with you? Your steps. Yeah. Yeah, I like them. I mean your brother. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I see more of my brother because my sister's got three kids and she's like a High-powered lawyer, so not a lot of free time, but uh, there's love there like you could call her if you Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, can we talk about your bio dad? Oh, yeah

You're one of our favorite shows we should preface this by saying one of our favorite shows is that Re-um children reunited with her biological parents and so Bobby and I bond when we watch a show we cry a good cry We fuck we fucked her. No, that's 600 pound. Oh, yeah. Yeah We fucked during But um When did you start feeling because I'm so curious about because I think this is the root of Why maybe we do comedy this, you know, I'm minds from trauma Yeah, yours is maybe through abandonment or something. I don't know. Yeah, I saw your episode. We were talking about it on Burt's thing

Oh, yeah, the cabin. That was the cabin. Yeah. Yeah, so When did you realize did you care? No, you know, I didn't realize so I was like I Didn't care because I liked my situation But I I realized when I was like 19 or so I was dating this girl and both her parents were psychiatrists So she was one of those we're like everything was like, you know, we'd be arguing she'd be like who you really yelling at and I'd be like So unfair But it worked and I was like, I guess I gotta meet him

Yeah, you fucking shame me into it. You can meet him. Yeah, how? Well, he left a note in like a safety deposit box No, no, really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait It's the episode. This is sounds like that's a great premise of a show. Yeah. So what safety whose safety deposit box? It was like in the bank Yeah, like in like it's Switzerland like when you want your money like on track. Oh, yeah So so my mom was like, yeah, he left a note if you want to meet him. So so what did the note say? I don't remember some bullshit

But he left it a long time ago and then you finally read it. Yeah, right and then he had a number No, but my mom's I can find his number. All right. Yeah, so then you call them. Yeah, you're uncomfortable No, not at all. No, he was he was taking a shit apparently when I called him He was a guy crap. What is it? You know, and then hey, I was like, oh, hey, I'm Sam. I'm you know Your biological son, you know take and he was kind of like, oh Like okay, and then we he said, what do you want to meet for coffee or something? So we did and how was it? It was good. It's weird to see someone who looks like you like, you know, I'm like, oh shit. He looks like he's old He's very old, you know, yeah, I mean he's like mid-80s now problem. Oh, wow. Yeah, and I remember we

It was good I mean it was you kind of spend less time because it's like at first like this is crazy There's a and then at a certain point you're like, well, I have a better dad who stay like this is the real dad. Yeah. Yeah, but like Now that you're successful, yeah You you would say you're successful, right? You're killing it. Thanks. Would he Has he contacted you and said no, I mean we he has my number. He lives like seven blocks from me So he's oh, so it's like I've had awkward like oh, hey, what's up on the street? Bye, oh, yeah, maybe won't maybe won't see me if I walk this way, you know

Oh, you if you saw him you would avoid him. Well, no, we had a couple we go to the same rec center like he He would go for no and I would go for For just like to swim laps. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and so I would see him there I would see and it was always like, oh, hey, what's up, man? How you doing? He's like, how are you, you know, but there were times when we like, you know I went to like a couple like Christmases they had his wife is Catholic so they do Christmas. Yeah, and Yeah, we're fine. We're cool. I mean, we're fine Yeah, it's just hard to like how many you realize like when you're on the road all the time

How many relationships can you maintain and I'm like why I struggle to see my own family? They live in New York, but like so it's kind of like how much room do you have and then yeah? I mean, that's probably a bad excuse. He's seven blocks away, but I told you guys the geography No, but it's also I mean, I mean what it's emotionally a lot and and and I don't I do see the irony of like me having to now take care of him So, all right, so that's not a loss to me, but we're we're fine It was like one of my first jokes that people would be like. Oh, is your biological father a good good dad? And I was like if I were I probably wouldn't refer to him as my bio Yeah, yeah, did he have children on his own? Yeah, he's got a he's got a son. I've never met I

I he lives out here. I've never met him. He's we look a lot of like I did the Facebook search and Yeah, we look a lot of like and I Different last name then yeah different last name, but I remember I asked him once I was like, yeah I'd love to meet him some time. He's up for it. He's like, yeah, you know, I floated it out there and I didn't really take to it I mean, yeah That hurt me It sucks. Oh, I have another question to ask him. Sure. Why? Why did you why did you do America's Got Talent I think desperation I think just like any I love the show by the way

Oh, I don't I know because I just hung out with Howie four days ago. He's a great guy Love him. Great. Really. Howie Mandel is a solid dude And there I know a lot of comics that have done the show, which is I feel like it's right for them Yeah, it's not right for me I'll be honest. Yeah, I don't wait. I don't want to fight with you Right. Yeah, I don't think it's right for you He just I know I'm just They're gonna fight now. No, he you know what the problem was that show is it's a nightmare people

I was I think it was like six years ago or something and I was kind of like I just want to sell tickets on the road I'll do why I want people to come. I just want people to see my stand-up and And I was doing a lot of road gigs. I was doing like a headliner dates, but papered rooms, right? So those are tough to build an act. It's hard to write an hour of material when they're not your people and So I did a GT it sucked I remember auditioning for and they're like, all right, we're gonna we're gonna see you through and then and then I literally it's I did the thing out here in Pasadena and It was like a five thousand person theater. Wow Nick Cannon's like interviewing me

I'm making jokes. He's like he's acting sincerely like I'm like these are jokes. I'm fucking making jokes. Yeah, but then I Remember going on. I'm freaking I get anxiety in these things like are you I when I watch the show I always know oh, I never been able to do that the pressure. It's awful I mean I had already done last comic standing and I hated that and oh my god You realize to these shows are all about casting so I had a good set on last comic and they just didn't move me on They were like, we're gonna not and I was like why yeah, but so I I'd been through that already But I was like I'm desperate. I'll do whatever it takes. So I remember doing a GT Just freaking out backstage and I'm texting my mom like I'm freaking out. She's like read a book. I'm like mom

Read a book There's two fucking fat slobs from Atlantic City dancing Mambo number five You want me to read like I think like I can just focus like eight like last comic standing sucks Cuz you're around comics and their anxiety, but you're around all walks of life and I can't imagine There's like a talking parakeet right next to me And I feel guilty too because there's like dance troops like I'm a comic I can go on drunk These people are stretching. They're like, they don't know It's another thing is is that like I've done like festivals with other comics, right?

Oddball or whatever and if you're nervous or whatever you have other comics to like go to and go You know and and they can give you like, you know, you just you're around your people. Yeah with you You're with the fucking the ninjas. They're doing some sort of dance routine. It's brutal It's brutal man. I remember and they would fuck with you They want you to be a wreck because it's good TV. So they come in to be like Simon Cowles in a bad mood today What and oh they'd be like Simon he's he hasn't eaten yet. So he's very I'm like feed him Why can't you like there's food around did you meet him? Yeah, okay? So the first round it's in that big theater and I literally watched two really nice

Orthodox Jews dance like do a rap thing. I thought it was pretty good and I'm watching them and Simon's like you're dreadful You're terrible. You're never gonna be anything and people were like boo. So I'm like, oh fuck this is I'm going on to this The cat the what it was like a supervisor or something there and she's like do this joke. I like this joke I'm like, I'm not doing that fucking joke. Yeah dark jokes. They're gonna boo me off So she's pushes me out there. I go out and they're like I can tell they just want to eat me alive. So By they I mean Simon yeah, and he was like so like give me your worst gig ever and I'm just like alright So I tell this story about a guy getting up out of the crowd and spitting on me

Yeah, and I figure like maybe this will get them on my side a little bit Yeah, and I end up they all Simon even says well, I hope this is better and I was like all right Maybe I softened them a little bit. Yeah, that goes great. I feel pretty good about it It was like a standing ovation in that room if there's a hilarious clip of it where they cut it up for the thing Yeah, and it's me telling a fart joke and it just cuts to all the judges giving me a stand And it's like They're like they're like well done. I'm like man. My mom is so ashamed of this Yeah, so I I'm like wow that couldn't have gone better. I get out there like all right

We'll see if uh if you move on in the next round. I was like they just told me I moved on like well That's not how it works. I'm like I got four yeses So that anxiety so now there's the anxiety of like we might not air this right you put me through that and it might and it went As well as possible evil. It's evil and then they like a month later They're like you're in for the next round. So like all right. I fly out. It's like classic. Did they fly you out? No, they don't they don't fly. They don't fly. They don't even pick you up at the airport I was like my manager at the time like where are they like oh, they're not getting you. I was like I've been here an hour What the fuck oh my god, so then I get to the hotel. There's construction

So I don't sleep at all the night like they wake up they wake us up like the construction wakes you up at like 8 a.m. I I'm anxious. I have no sleep. They get me there at 10 a.m. I go on at midnight So they're just fucking with me for like 14 hours. I go on I follow some Destiny's Child like knockoff and they Simon eats him alive. Yeah, and I I go on after them. Are these these aren't the live shows yet, right? No, I'm not it's not a live show yet Yeah, I go on and Simon was like I do well. I got it. It's like two and a half minutes I got like two applause breaks. Yeah, I'm hitting pretty not as well as the first round was it more juice crowd It's not midnight. Yeah. Yeah, you know and

George Lopez one of the judges was nice enough guy was like I thought you did well and Simon was like I liked you I liked you better in the first round and I was like I mean it was a better crowd like I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I kind of don't have much and then They they put me up against a mime named tapeface who was incredible Crushed it that guy's awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's hilarious that my mom was even like you had our vote I'm like, well, I know you didn't go No, he was great and and very nice guy too. Yeah, I remember I think he just took a residency in Vegas If you're in Vegas, you just see him

He's really great and I remember they put us against each other and we both did well and they were like people But they were like we can't have two of you. All right, so they they eliminated me But did the air that stuff there those the first two they combined into like one long segment But it got like it's like back then it was like 10 million views. Oh, so even that one spot was like, you know something Yeah, man, but it doesn't It's just you're right. It's not a loyal audience and it's not it's really not the right look for me if it's it's but The reason why I say that is

There are certain acts I've seen where it's like either they're in a print impressionist, right, right? Or they have a character sure, right and you know And when I used to see these people at clubs and stuff I'd just be like it's not the right environment for that type of act even a comedy club because comedy club Especially if you're at the cellar or at like, you know the comedy store or whatever, right? It's like they like traditional stand-ups. Yeah, like what you are, right? And also you're very relevant and I think you're edgy, right? Yeah, what I said, thank you. Yeah So when I saw you on American God because I love the show, right? Yeah, it's like wow

That's interesting because it's like I don't see you in that world. Yeah, I think I was just desperate I think you know the the clubs got hard like those funny bones. Yeah when now and it's my people It's great, but like back then it was they were really rough I remember walking audiences just because they just they didn't they had no investment They got free tickets, so they would just be like you suck. Fuck you. Well, yeah, the funny bone in Columbus, I guess That's the best one. I actually haven't done that one. Yeah, I mean, I don't know what happened I used to do it every year and then one year. He just says I don't want him anymore And I don't know I went to like five years in a row and then Stroop, which he's a nice guy. Yeah, but he's like

I was just dead to him, you know, it makes me sad, but you're doing great. Thank you But um Hitch Hedberg Hedberg headlined that room. Mm-hmm and then Stroop Switched him. He said to Hedberg. It was a Friday night and first that night. He goes. I want you to feature the Hedberg and the Hedberg left and then Doug Stanhope wrote some sort of like manifesto online I'm gonna hop in. Yeah, he did. Yeah, because it was so insulting But it's like if people don't understand the road because at that time I don't think like, you know I think Stanhope became a legend after his passing

It kind of grew. Yeah, Hedberg dead, right? But before that Doug is alive. No now Who am I talking about? Hedberg. Yeah, Hedberg is the one that was switched. You make it. Yeah, I start over then Let me start it all right. No, let me start it over because I don't think we're clear Okay, so can you cut part this? Yeah together edit. He's got it. You got it. Anyway, so Where are they? Hedberg got switched. Hey, man So let me try Is that the funny bone? Yeah, a long time ago

You don't have to go that far back in the story. The only part we're gonna keep all this by the way We'll keep all this. I'm not gonna tell it again. Okay. I don't give up because I think I did it the right the first time No, no, no, you didn't he was confused. Didn't you think Doug Stan? He said Doug Stan. No, you said it right And then I think you just said Stanhope became more relevant after he died instead. Oh So let's just get let's just go to let's just okay So Hedberg did it. Yeah, they were they they wanted to sit them out. He left town Stanhope wrote an op not a manifesto, right? Yeah, but then Hedberg became more famous

I think after he died so because before you know, he didn't have half the audience was like unknown They didn't know who he was and it definitely I think that in a packed room of people that are Doug I mean Doug Hedberg fans. Yeah, he would destroy for sure, right? But imagine being somebody that like hey, honey, let's just watch comedy I don't know who the performer is but yeah, right and just showing up and there's a big difference That doesn't want to go back to you is is that like for me, you know, I used to get like half mad TV Fans and half people that didn't who the fuck I was right and I would walk a lot of people as well Yeah, I remember being in

Fort Lauderdale and Comping like 35 tickets a whole family of people just got up and let they go Well, you don't want to see you know, I mean, you know, an Asian man dancing in his underwear I mean, right, right and I'm still up there. You know, I mean And like now and then over some because of this podcast now it's all now it's all people that want to see an Asian It's like a hundred percent and you can tell a difference, right? Oh, yeah, it was I Mean it depends on like the city, but yeah, but it's the right if it's the right city I mean, it's it's so much it's so much better man. It's crazy

I remember like certain gigs and if you had like certain openers who were just like as you said like those blow you out of the water Openers they were like on a mission. They're like, here's a like back What happens on Nebraska Avenue and everyone's like tears and I can't follow this shit Yeah, or they go, you know, or you know the LSA you like let's them call it Bucking here, you know, I mean mascot like you can compete with that and people are like, yeah, we hate that mascot, right? And I'm in the back going. What is that? Well, you have sometimes I'd have guys. I just talk like this on stage There's a lot of you guys who would go up there and just give it their everything

They're sweating and they're screaming And then I go up there and I just talk and they're like this guy's not trying. He's not sweating. All right. All right, all right Yeah, yeah, it's interesting style it, but now you probably all the time now is your audience, right? Yeah, pretty much I mean, yeah, pretty much. I mean, I'm going to Oklahoma City this weekend and it's like not exactly gonna be packed But I mean most weekends are pretty good. Yeah, what club is it? Bricktown, what is that? It's a new club. It's supposed to be pretty cool. All right guys who run a Spokane and Tacoma. Oh, right, right. Good. Yeah, and it's in Oklahoma. He has a new love affair with Oklahoma Do you?

Oklahoma's pretty cool. He rode scooters all around town. No, wait. What part of Oklahoma? Yeah, Oklahoma City. Oh, I went to Tulsa. Yeah, I've been to Tulsa. It's pretty cool. You like it. Yeah, I did like I love Bro, I love steak steak. Yeah, man And there was a couple of steak houses and what I would do is I was shooting a show there And I would just take my little scooter and zip up and down these streets to go to a steak house It was just freedom, you know, and it was after right after COVID, right? I Mean it's still COVID still going on, but it was like, you know, I'm out, you know I'm wearing my mask, but it wasn't your first taste of freedom. I think that's what it was

I just my hair blowing. Nice and going over these, you know, you know, I mean fat gook, you know So people are yelling at you I mean you people would notice I imagine in Oklahoma this fat Gook with a mustache. I mean zipping down a fucking Let me ask you a question. Are you Do you have dreams of acting and stuff? Not really. I mean, I like stand you're like Mark Normand Yeah, but it's like if it's there was an animated show that I wrote with Dana Gould that I really wanted to make Oh, but no one bought it. So it's just I mean that I just like working with him on stuff. He's he's so damn great

I love him and uh great. He's one of those guys. I Don't know him. Yeah, can you two? I Don't know. It's calling. I know I saw him at the Burbank Airport once And I walked up to him and I go I'm a comic and I Love you so much, right? And he was just kind of like, oh cool Oh, I don't want a photo. I just want to be a friend. Oh, yeah, right. It's fat gook because I remember I Remember when I was a kid, I just can't picture you now without the scooter

When you talk, I just all I say yeah, I remember as a kid I saw a showtime special that Dana Gould did when he was young. Yeah, and I was in probably 19 years old 20 years old. Yeah, and it was late night And he was talking he was the one guy I'd ever seen perform who seemed my generation, but also talked about Insecurities in the way I relate to it almost Suicidal thoughts. Yeah, right and like blowing his head off and like being talking about those things and I remember going If I ever did that I Want to be like this guy because he was also one of those guys that would sweat on stage

Yeah, as a young guy and he would just be like but with great writing all the best writing Yeah, a lot a lot of high-energy guys like they don't have the writing to match it and he was like, you know, yeah Yeah, it's so the writing is so good It's like maybe even like the beginnings of when he was one of the godfathers of alternative comedy for sure, right? Because he was just before Jeanine and Paul Tom Paul off Tompkins. I love all those people. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, but I'm over here club guy, right? I I just came up in clubs. I like the alt scene too, but I just prefer to get paid They were like here here's the free room and here's the room where you get you know

And I just got used to the club rhythm and I just the seller was just more consistent like the alt guys There wasn't as much stage time because you're like I got to kiss up to some booker with a beard who's just like Yeah, the club you just in you're like I prefer that but uh, you know Yeah, so no, I don't give a shit about acting unless it's like you get Scripts for stuff. They're like, this isn't interesting to me But if it but like if I could make a show with someone like like him that right that would speak to me But if we like for instance, you know, cuz climb and I like to write things, right? And we like to sell things. Yeah, if we had a show

Right. Yeah, and I said listen the show's picked up. I wrote you this part And you're let's say you're in New York. Yeah, can you just put yourself on tape? Would you do it? Yeah? Why not? If you said no, it would hurt me. Yeah, no, why wouldn't I do that? Yeah? Yeah, and then if you got it, would you do it? Yeah, I I'm like I feel like that's all my acting parts. You're like just shit that Amy Schumer's done But she said just do this and it's all right. It's great. Yeah Yeah Yeah, it's just rarely I've never earned a spot in anything everything's been like a friend or You know, dude, whenever I'm on a movie. I always try to discover why I'm there

You know me and so I'll ask around I guess look who I like that we talked about self-loathing And you're just like why am it's not based on my audition or my talent? It's always based on something. So there's always somebody that goes. Oh, dude It's like when I was an open miker, right? You were like really cool to me I think you're really funny, you know, I mean too, but I just thought of you when I was doing it It was always something like that. It's never like I never had gotten a job where somebody said I didn't know who the hell you were, but I saw that tape And I just went I gotta meet this guy

Isn't it almost better like just getting it cuz you're you and like I feel like yeah Those tapes are auditions, but you just being you is a constant audition like people just know you from stuff It's also easier that way. Yeah, when you're on set I have gotten a couple of things where they didn't know who I was and it's like I can see they're like Guilt of like even hiring you when they see you rehearse. They'll just be like they'll give this face Right, what have we tried this another way if you just What if you didn't sound like a fucking autistic dipshit when you read it you're just like oh That's a good. Thank you for the note or there's like video village, right?

Oh, man, we're the director and the producers, right? So you'll rehearse and they're they're always like And you're like still doing it and you in your perf you you see them and you're going oh This is not good. Oh, man All right, so at the end of our show first of all, can I just say something? Yeah that floated by so quickly Wow Is it done? That's crazy. Yeah, it's well over an hour and Yes, so quickly so casually. Yeah, you got and it's like I I love guys like you So much and I hopefully now When we run into each other

That's you could be more real. Yeah, I think so. Don't you think I never looked at his as famous I really not really me too. Yeah Here's another thing I want to ask you are you a regular at the store? No, I'm not yeah I think that That needs to happen. Oh, thanks. Yeah, I think it's the right. You're the right temperament store is weird You know, I feel like the comedy sellers a little it's funny The seller gets such a rap is being like not welcoming, but I feel like the store is weirder than the seller No, no, I think it is. It's nice. It's that's so such bullshit

I used to I used to it is I used to call in and they'd be like you can do a five minute Developmental spot. I'd be like, I'm good. You know, yeah. Yeah, I it's like you but to play the seller SD has to see you It's the same thing. It's different now. I think I yeah, she does But also like if they if you're if you were just like can I work there? They they no, I think they would that's not true because Before five years. I don't know. Did I see yeah? We were no day together eight years. Yeah, but when I was with you did I had to audition for SD? I Don't think so. I think so. Yeah, I 100% think so. Yeah, so one year I was playing Caroline's or something and I wanted to get into

the seller and I had called like three or four guys burn and They got me one and then I remember being having to go there late at night It's late. Yeah, like two in the morning or something or one three in the morning I mean and then she was there and I remember this and I had already done mad and a bunch of shit Yeah, I just remember this enormous amount of pressure. Yeah, right. I was so nervous my yeah And also it's intimidating because you're you know that restaurant above it or next to it Olive tree the olive tree, right? They fucking me when I was there Keith Robinson. Yeah. Yeah, I sit down and he goes look how scared he is Jesus like because I remember me being there and it's like like oh, there's Chris Rock. You know, I mean there's Ray Romano

You know, I mean, it's like more It the level of talent. Yeah, it's far exceeds the store in terms of condensed In a smoke. So I think it's more intimidating at the seller because I'm gonna say they're more intimidating I just think the doors are more the more like you're not. No, I want to say something else, too. All right And this is a compliment to you guys. You obviously have better stand-ups there And you guys are better at everything else Look at this studio I know I just I've been doing shit on zoom. I know

but my point is is that if I if I now if I could write a list of like New York young guys, it's like It's so intimidating you because I respect all of you guys, right and store it We do have great young people, but it's just not the same caliber. My point is that um, I Everything's condensed in New York. I mean the stand-up. All right, and I'm not arguing with you, man I'm no I'm agreeing with telling you point my point of Jesus It's not really that it's not how is it intimidating at the store just because you're not a regular yet No, I just think it's more kind of like you're not in yet. I think it's more and then once you're in You're in for life. Yeah, it's the same everywhere

Agree agree agree right that you're in for The thing I already agreed with No, just hear me out But here's my plan. Okay, my plan is this and I and have I said this up to any comic from from New York What are you? I'm about to get you about to say. I don't know until you say it. Oh, I'm gonna say it right, okay Sam. Yeah, I'm gonna try to get him in. Oh, thank you. Yeah, and it's gonna start this week Right. All right, and I'm gonna go to Emily this week, right and pitch, right? Yeah, you might have no no, but it's like

Sam's the shit. Everyone knows he's the shit. He doesn't need you're like I think I just talked to her I think I don't think they're they're passing people anytime soon. She's she's the new booker and there's probably They're gonna pass you What do you do with it? Did you do this? Yeah, but when I did it, yeah, I don't know Yeah, you did it first. I'm like, I don't know rabbit ears, but let him be his own hero. You don't have to be it. Okay, lady Woman And this is a fact

Do you know Marilyn rice cub yes, okay You you know, she's she does stand up, but she's you know, she's also been a lot of TV and accomplished actress as well Yeah, complex actor tomorrow war. She's in tomorrow war, which by the way, do you see it? I didn't realize till now that you're wearing crocs This is the first moment Yeah, no, I didn't see it. Yeah. Yeah, really good. It's it's getting so much but I see it everywhere Yeah, and she kills it in it. She's so funny in it, right? But I and I just ran into I was hanging out with her maybe four three nights ago And we're at the storm and we're just talking and she and she goes remember that one time I

met you here to get so I Couldn't get into the comedy store and then so I we met here and then you were gonna take me to Tommy So I brought Marilyn rice cup to Tommy who was a booker at the time and I go so Look who I have here And he kind of looks up from like the the booth and he starts writing something I go, excuse me Tommy. Look. He's like, I don't know who the fuck she is And I go

That's now I'm embarrassed and at this time. She's probably already on 24. She'd already done all of them Yeah, Jesus, right? This is how insane this is and I and I go, excuse me Marilyn And she's like she was she told me three nights ago that she was like couldn't believe it like it was embarrassing Yeah, and I go I pull him aside to go dude. I don't give a fuck You think you're the king of of bookers. It's like you're not even aware of what's going on. Yeah It's like it's a woman. She's super talented. She does stand up. She does sketch. She does everything, right? That's fucked up you had to tell him. She was a woman But at the time right we didn't have a lot, right? Yeah, like it the males dominated the line up

So it was one of those things where I'm like, you know, I've always been pro women. No, it's arguing you That sound weird. Yeah, but it's like you were not pro and I'm gonna get this on the record. Rape is wrong I don't care who disagrees with me You know what I'm not gonna I'm not gonna get you in You're out now But my point is is that sometimes you need a guy to go up for bath for somebody Yeah, I you can cut this part out, but like that's a very like Telling people all the good deeds you've done

Oh your mentor you know be really Carlos Mancia if I then told all the good deeds I've done You're right, it sounded gross. All right, you get on in on your own Fucking move on I love you And we're keeping all of that in keeping it even the mancia part. Yeah, I wanna funny. Oh Oh, it's funny. He doesn't need 2021 hate. It's a brand-new year. We'll have him on again. It's fine. We are Okay, so I'm at the end of our podcast Sam. We do a thing called Unhelpful advice people email us problems, right? How long in town for by the way, I'm I'm leaving but I'm coming back next week And I'm back in August as well. Oh because you're playing Oklahoma this weekend. Yeah, okay

Oh What just before you start Give me your top three best comedy clubs in the United States right now Madison and don't include the seller because that's my home. Yeah, you know not not not showcase clubs and in cities, but on the road real tough, but Madison's got to be up. Yeah, I love it when I've played at once and when I was playing there I was like can I please ask me back? Yeah, it was great. I love And taking into account like the whole package like green room at the whole thing how they treat you Denver's pretty great

Comedy works. Oh, it's it's I've only done it once. I'm down town. I'm yeah. I'm back this year I did downtown for a night cuz I did the other one for the weekend. Oh, I know it was a bummer I was like, why are you putting me in the suburban room? I'm not fucking Tom Papa Love Tom Papa. Love Tom Papa, but uh, right the downtown Comedy works is one of the best rooms in America. It's yeah, it's like comedy on a street Madison downtown Denver Comedy work. What's the third one? I'm going between a few for some reason. I mean, I love Philly helium. Love it. I'm credible about that I really love wise guys in Salt Lake

Love wise that club is kind of magical because the Mormons come out But then you get the non-mormons who are like, we're fucking cool. Fuck the mormon. Yeah So there's this great energy of like they want it hard and they want it fast So yeah hard not to say wise. There's so many but there's so many good one pop out. Yeah. Yeah, you but like shit I love some there's so many. I know you probably missed Do you ever be parlor live in Bellevue? Never did that. I always did uh, oh, yeah, that took a coma one Well, I also did laughs and oh that oh, yeah, yeah, which I've got a million fucking stories about You put the parlor line literally put me up in a fucking like crack motel or like

Oh, like I was such an abused puppy dog comic that I was like, this is great Look at a fucking meth had passed out against my way. I open I open the motel Blind and there's just a meth had passed out. Oh, and I told Marina Franklin to I'm like, it's a great hotel It's really and she's like Sam. This is like a fucking meth She's like I have to get like taxied out of here Yeah, yeah, I recommended it to a female comic on the road Thinking it was a nice. Yeah, I'm sorry though. Yeah, no, I never did the parlor. I heard it was beautiful when I was in Toronto Yeah, they they booked me in a hotel in Chinatown because they thought I'd feel more comfortable

That's fucking great And though we have a nicer club we have a much better hotel near the club But we just thought that you feel more comfortable. But were you more comfortable? No, I wasn't are you? I was so angry though. I would look out the window and look at all these things walking on the street He's ching chong walking Acme's solid. I'm leaving out a bunch. Yeah. Yeah, they're never played Acme Acme's classic I mean, okay, let me throw some out. Yeah tempi improv I'm supposed to be in either that or stand up live in November. I've never actually done it

Okay, I played fucking stand-up Scottsdale were the owner Howard Hughes great guy, but he was on bar rescue twice Let me give you an idea what I'm dealing with yeah Yeah, a guy in the crowd had a fucking stroke and this is what he does I'm on stage thinking I'm killing yeah, and I see a guy and I'm like, oh, I guess I'm killing pretty hard And she's like no he's having a stroke. I'm like fuck calling ambulance I jump off stage He calls one then he goes on stage and starts doing shtick with the guy who had a stroke So he's like, so where are you from? I'm like, dude

With a guy who's having a stroke. Oh It was I got it was one of the crazy and then literally as he's getting wheeled at the guy gave us a thumbs up I was like you poor bad Wow crazy. I think I would have laughed it was pretty funny It was pretty fucking funny, but uh, no, I heard Tempe improv is like it's a great room classic, right? Well stand-up live is Tom Papa Right Tempe improv is more me. Okay. Tom Papa is a great comic by the way. I love his comedy Dude, I was one of his comedy sometimes when I forget how to write jokes All right, cuz he's different than me, but he's like so crisp and clean and like I love his yeah

Yeah, that's what I've been doing lately. I've been watching people like Gaffigan, you know, I mean amazing because like he'll take an angle that I just so simple Sometimes so simple, but so clever, right and I've been listening to other I've been even listen to you know black comics and different comics to get cadence and point of view Because I want to learn to just write again. That'd be great if I just said name one and you're like All right, so let's do an unhelpful advice unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalala and Sam This one is entitled did my girlfriend cheat on me question mark My name is Thomas. I'm 21 and need a relationship advice. I've been with my girlfriend for over a year and a half

This is my first real relationship and it feels like it has fallen apart My girlfriend approached me two weeks ago saying she is thinking about splitting up as she wants to do her own thing Without the constraints of a boyfriend. She seemed undecided and I felt she was looking for an easy way out of the relationship We spoke about problems in the relationship and left it by saying she needed to figure out what she wanted a few days later She told me that she had kissed a guy at a party while drunk She says the guy surprised her with it and it lasted 10 to 15 seconds until she told him to stop She also passed out in his bed that night, but woke up fully clothed and at the bottom of the bed When she told me this I didn't know how to react and cried. I also confronted her about a message

I had seen to her ex that seemed mildly flirty. I love her so much. What if this just gets worse and worse? So much and the life we had built together over the lockdown with my parents and pets one of the best things I've ever experienced and it hurts to throw that away. Should I forgive her for the drunk kiss? How does he sounds really young? He's 21. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I mean I'm sorry you Sam you have anything because I have something. I mean the emails is she cheating on me. You just wrote that she cheated Get out This is honestly if a girl came up to me and

Said you know what I just think that I don't know if this is I want to be in a relationship right now Think about your 21 year old self. Oh, I couldn't get any pussy then. I know so finally you get a girl So it's so back then it'd be like, you know But already I knew that they were the enemy Like to me back when I was a kid You know me because I saw all these white dudes that look like Sam get all the girls, right? Right same type of body structure a bellboy whatever, right? And I was always hanging out with white dudes like this like you know in cells

Well, we really we play like in Dungeons & Dragons at the coffee shop or whatever, right? And I remember like just women were at enemy number one because I knew that I desired them But they just didn't like me, right? I needed to you know Discover what my mutant power was which is stand up and performing, right? I didn't know that at the time, right? So they were so I wouldn't have I wouldn't be in this situation But I'm just saying that if a girl came up to me now and said listen I'm I I'm thinking about I don't want to be able I'd be like, yeah, it's done This is because I need commitment or and already what she says that I just know that there's nothing I can do

To fix this and I don't want to be in front of I want somebody to be committed All right, what if not that but she goes she is committed but says hey, I got drunk and I kissed the guy on the stop No And I think she like said I fell asleep at the bottom of the bed like he's a go good It was a different part of the bed. You were in his bed still Yeah, yeah, this is if you want to be cool if you want to play this cool to say take all the time You need and then she'll fucking come back at some point I bet but don't fuck but you probably don't even want her at this point. She sounds like I love

She was fully clothed yet. You can put your clothes back on You know what I mean after you fuck So it's like true. She she fucked Yeah No, I agree with you. Yeah, this sounds like a very young Disposable love let it go agree. It's okay. Oh, so it's like they have a power Who has a power?

This is your in cell energy coming out. I know I have it so energy right George We have in some energy and sometimes we have to get together, right and you know, it's a miracle that we're with people Look at me right now, dude. You have a woman having wanting to have sex with you and having kid because you just had a baby, right? That's a miracle Me having Kalilah. It's a fucking miracle from the Lord itself. No, I agree. You're right. You're right. You agree, right? So my point though is is that right? Bro, but they have a she's you you're you worship the power Don't worship it anymore. Yeah

Right once you stop worshiping you're free be free Yeah, he added further context and I think it puts it more in a perspective. Go give me the context then he goes Oh, I didn't see it's this further context I do believe I do believe the kiss was not as bad as it may seem in writing She was led down on her phone and she reached over her. He's a cock. He's a fucking cock I also do believe that nothing else was happening and she woke up fully closed. Yeah, he's a cock. Yeah You just need to find something else, man. I'm thinking Isis Anything else that's it Thomas. Is there another one? That's we everything else our relationship one somewhere in this

Well, there's no other but on helpful devices. That's your heart. Not worth young chap. It's not worth it Yeah, what do you mean? Give me one that's not worth it Yeah, that's almost all of them is like, hey, how do I get into comedy? I'm not that funny. All right Well, then give me one of those You have two stand-ups here Hey guys, I live in Tulsa, Oklahoma My family thinks I'm funny and I've seen you a lot of stand-ups on TV and they seem like it's something I can do should I do it that was a fake look at him. He just improv that just make up that story

I'm honest with me friend at Second City. Yes, he just made that make up that fucking thing The craziest things that everyone bought it except Kalilah. Yeah, because I didn't buy it And I could see his eyes shifting. It's a lie. You don't have one No, they're literally like I can go through it. I have to look for them But they're almost all like I'm from this small town. I can I see I see you guys doing comedy in the podcast Look, so fun. I think I can do it my okay. I have I have I have something to say. Do you have one? You know go ahead. Okay So David Letterman, he said this out loud once he goes whenever a young comic, right?

Comes up to me and goes I'm thinking about doing stand-up. He always says Don't do it. It's you're not gonna make it. It's gonna be terrible. It's a terrible life Don't do it because the ones that do it anyway are the real comedians. That's smart, right? Yeah, that's perfect. Yeah, it is tough. So just know that I mean you got to love it So yeah, like you ever heard the Bill Hicks Jay Leno story. No So I guess Bill Hicks. I'm you know, I don't want to you know, make shit up and embellish this thing But I have a vague I think I know the story so basically

Jay Leno was in Houston and which it would teach these comedy classes, right and And when Bill Hicks was in high school, he escaped his house to the bus to go see Jay Leno's To take Jay Leno's class. He was in the laugh stop. I think that's where it was and Jay Leno was telling him the group joke structure right going like Well, this is the way you have to run a joke and you don't mean or whatever and Bill Hicks as a kid goes, why do you have to do it that way? That doesn't make any sense

That's a structure that you you know, I mean, but it's like you can do other things. You mean you can do Right and then he Jay I guess said well, you know, that's how stand-ups do it and Bill Hicks basically They said fuck this and he left as a kid, right? You knew Jay Leno probably deep down knew that that kid was gonna fucking make it. Hmm. You know, I mean That's what come then write a bit shitting on him 20 years later. Oh, yeah, that bit about the peacock and shooting himself in the head I know so it's like um Wow. Yeah, so any comic? Don't get those don't email us anymore. What's this? Uh, George. It's George's dad with

Oh, that is George. It's the Papa Kimmel. That's your dad They look alike or no Dad has a he has a he that is right Steve engines so was this I met Leno Leno call me I he called me like two months ago or something Yeah, he's just like oh, I watch your special and I really like it and I'm an idiot and I took that to me No, I guess we're buddies now. So I just sent him a text recently. Yeah. Hey Jay. Sorry back on stage How's it going man? He wrote something like he wrote back something like Everything's good best wishes Jay. It was in a way

He didn't respond to my it was like very I know what that is He didn't save your number as Sam. Yeah, it's it came in as an unknown. I said it Sam. Oh, you did. Yeah Yeah, I said something like oh, I saw you back on stage. He wrote. Yeah He's like he wrote he wrote in the very way like this conversation is not going any further. Yeah That's almost worse than being left on red. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty bad. He might just be busy He's probably busy. He's probably fixing a fucking car midway through and well That's something manly that I could never do. That's what I how Steve Byrne. Yeah, the way I met Steve Byrne is I did the tonight show in

2000 And just I don't know where he just calls me and I go how'd you get my number? He goes well I'm Steve Byrne. I'm a half Korean comic and I just have to say that I got your name number from Berrycats and That like I saw you on this night show and I just thought I need to meet this guy This guy was so funny. Wow And you know, I think that when comics do that call people out of the blue sometimes it is cool Yeah, no, I've like made my day that he called I think I was having like a bad day and when I was like, I watch your spaz. That's amazing dude to take that

Yeah, take that as an amazing call. No, it's I I should have just been like, I don't never speak to me And then I had to I had to squeeze you try to one up it or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Jay. What's poppin? Yeah, you should have done that. They're fucking crazy. Yeah, you get hit with the best wishes Best wishes hurts. Yeah, that hurts. Well, yeah, I have one story about that. I've never told right so one day I did this charity for some rock. I did that charity for the rock and roll This wasn't the one where Jerry Seinfeld was caught. No, no, no, no, I did the game the whole time No, I was in it was here in downtown It was like slash played and all these rock and rollers. I think I hosted the whole thing

I wasn't with you then you weren't so I hosted this whole thing and I remember afterwards Moby Right came up to me and he goes hey that bit you do about cuddling and he was with some girl He's like we were both laughing because the cats how I feel about it or whatever, right? And I go, oh cool. And he's like, hey, man. He's really funny guy man. That's nice to meet you. So I saw him at Oh, no So I saw him at a restaurant in Los Feliz and I

Put my hand on him from pretty from behind and I go, what's up, man? And he goes like this And I go You saw me a couple years ago at the event the rock You know, I was stumbled with words, right? And he goes, I don't remember that man. Oh my god. Oh Oh Also, I'm an em was right that guy can't get stung by obi, dude. I know but it's like, you know, it's like I should have Left it at I mean like that bit. Are you coming from behind and just holding him? If I'm in a restaurant, okay, let's let's say your girlfriend Taylor

Yeah, you know, I remember going to seeing her years ago a couple years ago at the lab factory She got off stage. I lit could add a follower. I literally in my head thought Holy shit Am I gonna be able to follow that? That's how good she was that night. Yeah, so when she got off stage I looked at her. I never met her before in my life and I go, yeah, Bobby I just want to know dude, you fucking crushed. Thank you, right? Yeah If I'm at a year later I'm at a restaurant and Taylor Thompson came up to me and rubbed my back and goes, what's up? I wouldn't be like, what the fuck?

But you don't know his trigger. Oh, what if he's wrong? What if he's been stabbed by an ice pick and some people have issues with being touched? I remember I met a guy once and I like I put my hand in shows. Hey, great to see and he goes I don't like being touched. All right. Sorry. Oh, yeah Yeah, but those are weirdos, dude. That's weird. You're right because it's like for me I have I don't like strangers coming from behind either. So if I'm in a restaurant, I always turn my what seat do I choose? I never have my back to a crowd. Yeah, I have to know the whole thing because I get I'm very jumpy Sure, so maybe Moby's just jumpy, but when people say I don't like being touched that that's an invite for me to test the water

Okay, what's the name done all Rawlings? Oh? Oh, swore to God this happened a week ago. You got a man. I want to talk to you about so he was in his car Right, and I walk up. He doesn't like he hates me touching him So I put he has bald head and I just got him to some sweaty Right, and I just he goes hey, so I want to ask you a question And while he was saying that I literally put my hand and I just caressed his head as hard as I could like this down his neck And he went He's zipped out of the clock and never I didn't know what he wanted to talk about or anything like that

But my point is is that don't don't it's like don't tell me your weakness Okay, there's connected to the Moby thing. It feels like you just Maybe I should have ended this podcast 10 minutes We're keeping this in because you know listen I want to end with this My fans they know that a lot of times I talk. Yeah, and I don't know what I'm saying And I'll just go let's go with this idea and your thought your mind Right, and then you see a dead end Right, so what do I do? I try to fucking ram through in my car. Mm-hmm through the brick wall and sometimes it doesn't work. I

Want to say this Sam? Every year you have to do our podcast I would be honored We really like you you're a really nice guy. I honestly think that you have a honestly The way you're smiling. I don't know you're being nice. I'm smiling. No, no I just would try to say something vulnerable You said come back every year and I smile Smiles Don't be weird because the smile started when I was about to give you another couple. Okay. All right, so just look at me right now

Don't smile Can you not smile? Okay, so I want to say that No, honestly though that I honestly think that you have a very big future thank you man, and that you um, you too I'm gonna die soon. Why are you gonna die soon? I'm 50 It's the end of sneer. All right. Yeah, but any but you're in your 50. Yeah, and you dress like this. I Know is it look weird? Does it look weird though? I mean like if you're a serial killer it works

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I want to say that Even when you're big, I want you to be bigger than you are now that you're always I would love We'd love you to have I'd be honored to come great people on okay. I know okay, so um, this is a big deal Give Sam a round of applause Podcast you want to promote or shows? Yeah, um, when does this come out? Next week, so they're gonna miss the I'm at Nashville all weekend at Zany's. I'm on the road every week So same road comm slash shows I'm at like you guys have to come to Nashville because at Zany's because this guy's so quick on his feet He's gonna rant and do all kinds of stuff. Yeah

I'm lexing in Kentucky the next week. I'm in Portland, Oregon, Kansas City Boston Philly everything. I got a healing in Portland. Yeah, love that love that club and in healing in Philly as well And why do what why can't you go every weekend every week? Why because I miss this shit during the pandemic I love the road. I'm I love it I see I don't feel productive when I'm at home doing like 10 15 minute sets I feel like I need to fail repeatedly to get a new bit. So I I like it Wow, but anyway, we already clapped for you Yeah, so can we edit this part in? Yes. Thank you so much Clap thank you so much as well. Oh, I like that picture. Wait, wait, you have one with Mark. Yeah, we do. It's new

It's been doing pretty well. It's been fun as hell. What did Mark tell you he was just on ours Yeah, he's told me to message you. Oh, I love that guy. Yeah, you guys are similar in that In terms of style and I act but in terms of how I view I'm being real when I say just a real quick That I honestly believe there's a new white movement coming out of it. So it's terrible. We met on January 6 White movement This is what listen stop No, no, it's not Don't don't don't make me mad. Oh, we're at the Pesh mode. So don't people are people aren't people okay, okay?

because I and I just wanted to say this okay is That's why in LA you have Sundays Mondays and Tuesdays Black nights only black comics at certain comedy clubs because it's a cultural thing There's certain cultural thing right and I've been around for a very long time and I've seen white dudes do stand up, right? And it just they weren't that good Right to me But when I see this new crop of New York guys, right that happened to be white, right? Because they have a their own language as well, right?

Asians do it in their own way, right? So what I'm saying is is that when I see these young guys like Schultz. Are you do you probably do get along with Schultz? Yeah Yeah, I mean Mark is like one of my best friends. Yeah, Schultz, Mark Yeah, it's Christie these young guys, right? I just and I'm I look at them and I go, oh my god They're so fucking funny and this seems so Relevant is all I'm saying. I look at Taylor the same thing. I go. Yeah for sure. I go. She's a beast She just works. She works so hard the beast. Yeah, she's here other female comics talking about her Yeah, they're like shit. She's taking our one spot on the lineup. No, they're like I mean

Yeah, there is there is a little threat though. Well, everyone in their voice everyone feel threatened Yeah, I mean that's but that if you use it as fuel and not feeling like fuck them but more like shit I got I got to step it up. Yeah, like if you look at it in a positive way I mean Taylor's a the murderer, you know your murder. He really is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's a great joke writer, too. Yeah Not just in performance her performances. No, I know I think you're doing like it like a villain like it also She's because you know, you know, right? There's some people are my performance is my strength writing isn't Right, I know how to do it. Yeah, right, but then some people can do both in a weird way. Yeah. Anyway, that's it Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger barely ad free on Amazon music

Download the Amazon music app today, or you can listen ad free with Wondry plus in Apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry comm slash survey