TigerBelly - Ep 307: Angler Man!

Episode Date: July 28, 2021

Bobby's heart is an abyss of love. Khalyla cheers for Hidilyn. Gil scrubs the butt. We talk Bobby's sci-fi, hypermobile Asian zombies, Olympic gold, leg scrubbing techniques, vulcanizing, and counting kisses. Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. What's your perfect temperature, room temperature ideally? For living and for sleep, those are two different settings. When it comes to air conditioning and why I have a problem with it, it's because I like the cool, you know what I mean, the feeling of the room, the temperature, but I don't like when a machine is whirling. Sometimes what some machines do is it'll turn off and turn back on. Then I get into a mental cycle of counting.

Let's see if I can count between the whirling and the empty spots. That's why I like to make the cold room super cold. I know you hate this, but I like to make the room completely cold then completely turn it off so that those mental things aren't happening. What happens is I wake up in a bucket of sweat because he turns it off halfway through the night and I run super hot. How hot has it been here guys? It's global warming baby. You want to know my dream last night?

Can I go back to the hot and cold thing? It has to do with that. Tell me the dream then. What happens, the kind of bullshit dreams I have when you turn the AC off? I was cooking my Beyond Sausage and I was cooking it started to disintegrate and to the point where every time I looked down at the pan less and less Beyond Sausage was there and I didn't have a meal at the end of me cooking it. That's what happens.

Who has dreams about cooking? But also Beyond Sausage. Vegan food. I love Beyond Sausage. Shout out, sponsor me. Where I'm actually working. There was building a deck on my house. You don't dream of stuff like that? I was just building a deck with the nails in and putting up the boards.

That's what Jesus dreamed about. I know, but who dreams that? Jesus! Do you dream about stuff like that? What are your dreams? Your day to day, not the big nightmares. Just the medium feeling dreams. Is it all industry?

No, I had a dream the other day about a disintegrator. Is that an X-Men? No, I just remember saying it's the disintegrator, right? And it was not bees, but not a fully formed human either. But it was like little bits of like ash, you know what I mean? And this thing was like coming. Wait, hang on one second. Is he the disintegrator or is he disintegrated?

No, I don't know because I don't really think about that stuff. I just remember my brother and I go, it's the disintegrator. Well, in Hawaii you were like... In Hawaii you were like, I had the weirdest like dream experience because I was watching something happen rather than participating. Yeah. And so that was weird for you? Yeah.

Oh, okay. Yeah, like I've been having dreams now where it's like I'm not in it. You're observing. It's like, no, I'm just watching a movie, right? And I think maybe that's what it was. I think I was going, run, it's the disintegrator. You're watching too much of the crown. No, no, no, no, no.

And I remember like my brother was in it and he's being chased by the disintegrator. And I'm watching it in a movie. And could you help him? See, that's frustrating. If you can't join in and participate to help your brother, now you're just watching him die via the hands of a... No, but I remember him laying on his belly, right? And he's crawling away.

And the disintegrator kind of touches him and he just... And then he laughed in the movie, my brother, because the bits of like Ash fell on him and nothing happened. And I laughed in the theater. Oh, that's kind of cool. It's kind of cool. Yeah, it's like... Yeah, that's kind of cool.

You broke the fourth wall in your own dream. Yeah. You're like Deadpool. Yeah. Yeah. Korean Deadpool. Well, no, you know what, I think I saw Constantine. Oh, great film.

I love that movie. So remember the creature that came out that was all bugs, right? I think that's where I got the disintegrator from. But anyway, I don't dream about building things, though. I didn't say I was building. I was cooking. Yeah, I don't cook or any manual labor. Yeah.

I've never dreamt about that. Half of my dreams are just that, just doing chores around the house. What? Just cleaning up after you. And every time I look back, there's more dirt. Yeah. Then I realize, oh, this isn't a dream. This is my real life.

Yeah. You're just awake. You should never be a fantasy writer. Oh, you want to fucking bet, bitch? I mean, you're... Well, I don't know why you're getting so aggressive. I just... I'm telling.

I have fantasies. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I have big, large, sexual fantasies. Listen, listen. It's based on your dreams, though. You have sexual fantasies? Oh, my God. No, no, no.

A fantasy when it comes to, like, strictly, like, you know, developing creatures. Like Dune. And like Dune or, you know... Lord of the Rings. Right. Or just, you know, prophecy and creating a prophecy and creating God. I think you underestimate me because, number one, I'm very philosophical. And number two, I'm very science-minded.

So, tiny things like, I could probably write a good... Oh, you're right. Maybe not fantasy. All right, I'm going to ask you something right now, right? Yeah. Create a creature with four... Create a creature with four animal parts, right? Okay.

And some sort of weird power. Go. Okay. So, this particular creature... Do it. No. Four... This particular creature...

No, you're right now. You're killing time. Well, right now, I'm thinking about... No, no, I already have it. All right, go ahead. I have the parts and the power. Aquaman is Aquaman, right? But deep, deep down, there's a man called the Angler.

And what the Angler has is... Has a little bit of, like, another creature attached to him. Interesting. That has then merged. And now he has a power of one and a half mutants, right? Because they call him the Angler. And on top of that, he has... He's tricking us with that.

In the depths of the ocean, he has this thing that protrudes out of his head, like an orb that lights his way. So that's what gives him the superpower, is that no one else can see their surroundings but him. Right. Right? Yeah, yeah. So you want four body parts? So he has the melon, right?

He has the melon and the intelligence of an orca, which is smarter than you think. You proved your point. That's the inspiration. You proved your point. All right. I cheated, though, because I know a lot about sea creatures. Yeah. This creature right here.

Look at the Angler. I think I fucked up because I... There's a little creature on the side. There's a little creature and nothing to do with the ocean. Oh, shit. That's what you should have said. That's where I fucked up. Everything.

Oh, can I give you one more superpower? Yeah. Okay, so the Angler man, right? When he is agitated, he releases this thing. Angler man. Like this super slime that's similar to that of a hagfish. Angler man. I mean, kids aren't kind of like...

You want... Be excited to see the Angler man. Hagfish slime? Kids love slime. I imagine Angler man just slopping his way onto the beach. Just running in terror. Or at Disney. It's like, oh, Black Panther and Angler man.

He has one half a million attached to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me a chance, Marvel. Like, let me pitch to you. Yeah. Huh. Well, you do have fantasy, babe. That's my bad.

I have a lot of fantasy. What was sci-fi? Go ahead. Could you get... Could you pitch a sci-fi movie? Like Matrix. What would you say in a studio like a Christopher Nolan film? Christopher Nolan film.

Like, give me something philosophical and weird. How about you? Let's go... I'll go sci-fi movie. You go... We'll go back and forth. I'll go sci-fi movie. You go first.

Okay, go. So, there's this M-Class planet. Okay. I don't know what that means. It's because you played this shit in that one thing. No, no, no, no. In your video games. You're gonna pull it from this video game.

No, it's a planet that like can... Much like our planet. It has a, you know, we have an atmosphere, oxygen, you know what I mean? Life can live on it. Water, right? And what happens is there's a meteor, right? That lands, hundreds of you go land, not on Earth, but a M-Class planet like Earth, right? Lands on it.

And in this meteor, there is like some sort of like biological thing in it that mutates the animals that are on and humans that are on the planet, right? But what happens is the humanoids, right, they realize that these creatures are happening. So they create different like areas where they build the walls, right? Because other things that mutate it. So there's, you know, on this planet, there's like societies living in walls, right? But they, right? But there's this one, you know what I mean, group of people that are living in this thing.

They're running out of resources and they found out about another, you know what I mean, man, but they have to go through, what? You're pulling from next gen. No, I'm not. This is not a next gen. The next generation. Inspired. No, it's not.

Wait, wait. What? There's no fucking next generation. That's episode three, O.A. No, it's episode three. Let me finish. Okay. Why can't, you don't like it?

Let me finish. I'm making it up, right? So it's like, so imagine, right? And this is not hundreds of years people living in these, you know, in these groups, right? In these walls, right? Imagine a big circle of wall people living in it, you know? And then they know that there are other, you know what I mean, you know, many places, right, that they have other societies that have created where they block out.

So there's these gigantic gaps through forests and through plains where it's like these mutated humans and mutated animals and stuff like that. And there's this one group, right, of like a city, right, that they're running out of resources that they need to get to the, but they've never been beyond the wall. So no one's seen each other. Yeah. No one's ever seen each other. Yeah.

So they don't even know, this is just the rumor and hearsay, right? So a group of kids decide that, what? You gave me eight seconds to pitch my idea about the four-parted man. You think I'm done now? I'm not done yet. I know that's why I'm telling you. I only got eight seconds and you're like five minutes in. Can I have paper towel?

Yeah. Sure. My armpits are sweating from this. But what they realized was they think that only the animals were mutated, right? But there are actually humanoids, right, that have mutated, that have a higher intelligence, but they're like mutated by, you know, alien, you know what I mean, DNA, right, and stuff that was in the meteor that fucked everything up, nice, don't you think it's our cast? No, meteor, you had to justify it.

Don't be like that, man. I was going to pull. We're in a writer's room. Okay. I know. I'm just throwing it out there, right? So this group of kids, teenagers, you know what I mean? Let's cast a variety of different people.

Well, hell no, you're not a casting director, you're in a writer's room. Yeah, I'm writing the characters. I can say that, I can say that one of them Samoan, you know, Alfalfi. Alfalfi and his sister Samoan is not a sister, he's a little sister, right, he's kind of a big guy, right, and she's like younger, she's like 12 and little, right, Pungi is a part of it. Pungi is American. Don't say it.

No, Pungi is, I want to give some people that need help, you know what I mean, apart in the movie, so Pungi, guess who's Pungi? Jetty Parra. That fan. Oh. Pungi's that fan, right, he's blind, right, and then. Can he talk? And then we got to put a white in it because, you know what I mean, he's got to put white

people in it. Yeah. Got to. Yeah. The Smith family. Well, it's almost racist if you don't put any white people in because these are human noids, and if you're saying human noids when they come in minority colors, then it's fucking weird.

It's all Asians. They're all humanoid. Anyway, they, um, don't forget it then, they go on this track to, you know what I mean, and they go on an adventure. I want to hear you pitch that to Jean. You know what I liked about this is I thought I just made it up. No, but I thought you were taking it the route. Here, can I give you a fucking story I want to pitch?

The village route, I think you're going the village route with it like they think there's other things out there and they go on to like, there's nothing or like it gets like modern day times. They think it's like post-apocalyptic, you know what I mean? So they built this city, right on this wall, right? And they just, they go to the other like, they're told, they're told like, Hey, there's so they leave the wall and then they realize, Oh shit, there's a Starbucks. It's like, yeah.

So nothing happened. No. So these elders lied to keep them strapped. The village meets planet of the apes. And there we go. Right. You want to hear Myeridge? You want to hear Myeridge idea of my prison musical?

Oh, I want to hear your prison musical. Go ahead. So I've always had this idea of, of writing a prison musical set in the Philippines. And it centers around a, because you know, we have a very big Cali on one second. You're already not, you're not. I'll tell you why. That was your thought process. Because number one, and, and be honest with me, because I've heard this before.

This is something you're making up now. She's practiced for years. You've been thinking about it for fucking 20 years and be fucking honest. You've told you that possibly you've been saying this bullshit. This prison musical. It's like one of the 50 ideas I shoot at you every day. I know. But I'm just saying though, the fucking movie that I just created, I made up on the spot.

Set it in space Cali. Set it in space. Set it in space. Yeah. Yeah. That logistics changed then. Yeah. They can't tell.

Well, let me just tell you my prison musical. No, wearing a red ball cap like that. I just, red ball caps right now. I think she should just be, just wait a couple of years. Bro. Because I know, but the font. The amount of double takes, I'm, I go like, yeah, they're like, oh, sorry, never mind. People have looked at me.

Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Whenever I see a red ball cap like that, I just kind of look up and, and I do a double take and it'll say sometimes, you know, like, you know, um, state farm, you know, insurance, you know, I mean, or something. And then you're like, oh, okay. But if it has an M on it, I freaked the fuck out. No one wants to hear my prison.

Babe, babe, go ahead. Never mind. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Now it's, now it has to be real good though. No, it's, I'm gonna. Now it's built up. I'm just gonna be so good. Oh, I'm gonna give you a quick synopsis.

Or a long one. My quick synopsis. Okay. Honestly. Let's see. I have a production company, right? And I only have $6 million to do one project. And I want to see if you can sway me.

What's your name? Alfonso de la Cruz. Okay. Alfonso de la Cruz. Here are a couple of things I want to say to you first before I pitch the show. Mr. De La Cruz. That's nice. I just want to tell you real quick.

I have Alan Ball in the lobby. Oh yeah. He had a flop though in HBO two years ago. Him, that Alan Ball? Yeah. Love him. And, and, and the Du Blast brothers. Love them.

They're in the, they're in the lobby. And just hurry the fuck up. Okay. Also, you have a four o'clock with Scorsese. Thank you. Oh, Scorsese. Okay. So go ahead.

Oh, certainly hurry up for those old white men. Um, but. Thanks for coming in. Thank you. Bring in. I mean, that's, oh, go ahead. Go ahead. Before I pitch this to you, I want to say that I understand we're on a limited budget,

but. Six million is limited? Yeah. For a fucking whole show. Oh, it's just a movie. It's a movie. Okay. It's not limited.

Whoa. Give me a lower budget so then I can, I can really convince you. No. I'm not saying change the budget. I'm not changing the improv for you. Change the budget. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. That's not how it works. Okay. Here we go. You have to work within the confines of the improv and the things that you have. Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy.

I want to share some good news with you, Mrs. Dela Cruz, is that while we have a six million dollar budget, I think that I can make this movie for exactly a million dollars and here's why. Why? I was born and raised in the Philippines. I have a far reach in that community and we don't have to pay for a lot of things that we would usually have to pay for, for an American production. Interesting.

So you're not interested in using any stars? I'm interested in using stars from the Philippines. It is teaming with talent and they're unknowns and I think that they match in caliber to the big names that we have in America and I think that it's time. I think that it's time that we give these kids a platform to actually show their worth and their talent. Yeah, but because I have one project to do, I'm listening to what you're saying. Sir, I already told you that it was going to cost one-sixth of what the budget was.

Is that enough for you to actually hear my pitch? No, I am going to hear your pitch, young lady, but I also want to say that I'm interested in using, regardless of what the project is, real names in the project. Okay, let's use Dave Bautista. He's Filipino descent. So you think that Dave Bautista would do a movie? Absolutely. I think that he's foaming at the mouth to do something that actually hits him in the

heart. Right, so if the movie is, if the movie is, if the movie, we use one million dollars for the movie. All goes to Dave Bautista. Right, so Dave Bautista is going to ask for at least two million dollars. Why are you, do you not, do you or do you not want to hear my pitch, Mr. Dave Bautista? No, I would like to know. We're just seeking the logistics down.

I don't know why you, first of all, we just met and I'm, I'm the one that you're supposed to sell to and you're being an asshole, you're being a full-blown fucking asshole right now. I will say this is an unorthodox meeting and I'm just here. Who are you? Your assistant. That's right. But she, she's a feisty one.

Go ahead. Here's a premise of my prison musical, all right, god damn it. We have a man named Jasper and he works at a vulcanizing. Dave Bautista? Possibly. He works at a vulcanizing shop in a small town in Toledo, Cebu, right? I'm sorry, I don't know what a vulcanizing shop is. It's rubber, just look it up when you have time.

It's, it's your tone. Wow. It's your tone. I don't like, ma'am, I just met you. You're not also repped, so this is a favor, right? I just, just, can I just say this? I'm here for you. I'm interested.

Are you though? Yeah, but since that, I want to say cut that out, that little attitude thing that you're doing. I'm here for you. What's your name? Tim? Tim. Just tell the, do plus and Steve's, just to wait, I'm willing to listen to this lady

out. Steve's the one. Yeah. Do you guys mind waiting? We have a walk in pitch. A walk in pitch. A walk in pitch, yes. Please go ahead, but can you just, enough of the attitude.

Okay. So my main character works at a vulcanizing shop. He's a father of three. His name is Jasper. Jasper. Yes. To make ends meet, to make ends meet at night, he goes and he does drag competitions and his name is Jasmine.

He gets caught up, ends up in prison. Well, how does he go to prison? Well in the Philippines, it's a little bit like right now under the watch of President Duterte, everyone is being called a drug dealer. He's a close personal friend of mine. Oh, well that's unfortunate. Who else is a close personal friend of yours? Bolsonaro, Donald Trump?

You know, I don't know you that well, but even if you hear something that you know, you don't like in a business situation, you let it pass. Okay. Yeah. So, um. It's very patronizing of you, but thank you for giving me advice. Okay. Tim?

Mr. Donald Cruz, I looked up, I got your text. I looked up vulcanizing. Oh, was I not supposed to say that? Yeah. Let me, thank you so much, Tim. So, vulcanize, harden rubber or a similar material by trading it with sulfur at high temperature, the development of a method of fixing vulcanized rubber firmly into mild steel.

So, that's interesting. We learn something new every day. Thank you so much. So, David Baptista is working as a vulcanizer. Yes. He's been mistaken for a drug dealer named Jaguar. Okay. Okay.

His name is Jasper, goes by Jasmine at night. He said he does drag at night to meet and to make ends meet for his family, right? Yeah. So, why is he getting arrested here? He's mistaken. It's a false identity thing. However, the biggest. So, it's like stir crazy.

Write that down, Tim. Stir. Like stir crazy. Falls. Okay. Falsely accused. He then ends up in prison. And I don't know if you've ever seen how prisons are in the Philippines, but there are stacks,

people sleeping on top of each other, very poorly ran. Sometimes they do the Michael Jackson dance. Yeah, ma'am. Okay, Helen, hang on. Let me get to the point. I have three more sentences. Wow. Wow, ma'am.

Right? Yeah, go ahead. He befriends three different people in there. And all of them plot to get him out of there and escape so he can make it in time for the biggest drag show of his life where he could possibly win three million pesos. So that's the whole plot. It's musical in jail and all the while they're plotting to get out so eventually he makes it to his, the big show.

So it's like stir crazy mixed with like Paris is Burning. I would say it's my crazy ex-girlfriend times Narcos. Wow. Okay. Okay. That's aggressive on both ends. Okay, so thank you for coming in. We'll contact your...

Oh, you don't have one. I don't have a rap star. Yeah, that's right. So we'll just direct message you on Instagram. Yeah. Do you have an Instagram? You have an Instagram? I do.

Are you verified? I am. Oh, you are. Okay. We'll just direct message you. Okay. And just, can I just tell you so I don't know you that well, just, you know, we're not your enemy.

Aren't you? Don't you have some place to be? This is my office, bitch. All right, thank you for coming in. Wow. I hope you're not like that during regular pitches, other pitches. No, I'm so nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm spineless. That's really interesting. I only talk like that to you. That's good. Ficiness. But you know, I've been watching, I've been obsessed with, so for the last year, a couple years, Kalyla's just been like, you got to watch The Crown, and she just, it's funny because, and you have the same thing with me, whereas if I really want you to watch something,

you won't watch it. It bothers you. Well, no, 99% of the things we watch together are, it's your choice. That's so, oh my God. And every time I'm like, this is a good show. Not true. It's true. At all.

I mean, the last four things as you. What were they? Like? I don't remember, but they were. So my point is, is that anyway, she's been trying the last couple years. Bobby Wenz again. Yeah. A couple years, you know, you've been saying to watch The Crown.

But, you know, I, in general, I don't really like, you know, anything like Colonial or Emma or any of these kind of like movies that come out like, you know, Pride and Prejudice or, I think that's what, the same, right, Emma is, is that Victorian, Victorian times, you know, anything Victorian, English, white. Did you ever watch the Tudors? No. That was a great show. So I don't, you know, I just generally have this, you know, when I watch this stuff, it

just makes me feel. I just can't identify. But when it comes to history, I do like. And she's been asking me to watch The Crown and I've been, I've burned through the first season in two days and now I'm in the second season. I really like the show. It's really fun to watch. I think it was fun to watch for me because I knew nothing about the monarchy.

I'm not attached to it in any way, don't really give a shit. So it was like, you know, it, it's like a brand new storyline for me that I'd never heard of. Yeah, exactly. And it's also, I didn't like, like when Princess Diana died, you know what I mean? That's where I, where I met that girl, that, that girl, Jennifer, right? So the first time I ever had 69 anybody was because of Princess Diana. What?

Yeah. But like when Princess Diana died, I literally didn't know who she was and I didn't know much about it. And then, you know, you would watch VH1 or different things on TV and you realize, oh, she died in a paparazzi, we're chasing her in Paris. You know what I mean? What are you doing your eyes like that? I thought there was some new information about it, but I was trying to remember it.

No, I'm just saying over the years, this is just little glimpses of things that you would pick up. I had no, like, care about that, like, you know, when a new baby was born, all right? You know what I mean? A princess, I don't give a fuck, right? But now that you have this Meghan Markle, Harry thing, you know, in the news in the last year. Now you understand why they wanted to get the fuck out of it.

Now you, it puts in a context that I can understand and I think, I wish we were a monarchy. You meet Gilbert and George. The United States, I mean. Oh, gosh, that would be horrible. No, because you still have the prime minister, right? Acting as the president, right? And you just have this figurehead. And who counts?

How do we vote on that? Or what is our lineage of royalty? Let's do a lottery system. To anyone? Well, not in a minute. You have to have a, you have to have the fam. You know how much taxpayer money goes to something that doesn't do a lot. Like a lot of taxpayer money goes to the monarchy and they just don't really do anything.

You know, they wave their fuck. They travel to like the Commonwealth and whatever fucking island nations they've colonized and then wave and be like a superior white. It's fucking weird. Well, that's why in our, in our lottery in America, whites are excluded. Oh gosh. I want to get, I want to jump out of this Congress. Why?

What's the phrase? White socks. Clued it. White socks. It sounds weird. I want to talk about the Olympics. It's not over yet. It just has started.

Here's why I feel like the Olympics are a little different and what I'm bummed about. So every four years, well, there's, there's a couple of things that happen that you and I bond heavily over. World cup, Euro cup, winter Olympics, summer Olympics. And it's a time where you and I really get together and we, so it makes me so happy because we watch the same things and we get excited over the same things, right? And I just feel as though you haven't been watching the events with me this year, except for skateboarding.

Shout out to Marjorie Lindadal, who you doubted. She didn't get, did she get a mouthful? Yeah, but she got seventh place. Dare you? No, I mean, you got to, you just, can I just ask, ask the, the Filipino, let me know. I just want to, right? Just shoot higher. We got a girl.

We did. Hidellindia. She wanted gold. She was amazing. I cried. Did I not cry today? Yeah. How much higher do you want her to shoot?

Two gold. I know, but with Marjorie Lind, right? You just say, it's unfortunate she got seventh place. It's not unfortunate. No, I'll tell you why it is unfortunate because I know her skill level and she could win the whole thing. Yeah, she did. She did.

Didn't she win Worlds in 2018 or something? Yeah. She's that good. Or Asian games. Yeah. You know, any of those female skaters like Rice, Raysa, Leo, yeah, but it's the Japanese that win. Yeah.

Because we're very clinical. Momiji won. And, and, and, you know, Japanese people, especially, they can perform under pressure. Well, the odds are on their side. It's their home country. They get to be with their family. Well, even if like, like you two, Horegomi, who won the gold for men's streetscaping skating, you know, he, he's his rise in skateboarding in the last four years.

He just came out of nowhere. He's won a couple of SLS, you know, Street League, you know, which is like the greatest of all in the world in terms of contest skateboarders are in that competition. He just is, just came out of nowhere and now he is the top, right? And it's like, um, yeah, but that's like saying, like, Nigah didn't even medal. Like Marjorie Lynn didn't medal, Nigah didn't medal, but, and I huge Nigah Houston fan. And if Nigah, if you're listening, you know, I'm sorry, but you know, you know, your skill level is far above that.

You should have gotten gold, you know, and it's like the pressure of it. And I, I, I, I get it. I've been in situations where I felt the pressure and I can't perform. It's hard, but this was exciting about the Olympics. It's dramatic. Well, Haida Lindia's, which was that the weight lifter? Yeah. She lifted over like, I think 280 pounds crazy.

And, um, what I want to say about her is that while it seems like, wow, she won the first gold for the Philippines, the Philippines does not, but you never won a gold before that? Never. Uh, the last time we won a medal was her in real Olympics. She got a, she got a silver. And then before that was what I remember was on Yoke Velasco, which was, he was a boxer and he won a silver and he got robbed.

He should have won the gold. Um, but we have two boxers that could potentially metal now and one gymnast who could metal. I know that the country is a third world country, but it's like, you're never going to have like it's teeming with talent. So much excellence and athleticism there. So much everything there and zero support. And it's like, you kind of, that's why a lot of these swimmers or even like someone like me, you end up in America because you just hope that you, you have the facilities here

to help you get there. So what I'm saying is she wasn't up against the odds. She was up against impossibilities and she still won the gold even your homeless are talented. Oh, that's so mean. That's not me. That's a good. Well, how does that mean all homeless are talented?

So like when she let me say, so if, to me, what's her name? Um, Heidelin Diaz, Heidelin, just kind of call her Heidi. I just call her Diaz. I just call her Heidi. You can say Heidelin. I can't. I don't want to. I refuse.

All right. Heidelin. His name is Ichimura. I'm going to call him Ron. Yeah. Yeah. So Heidi Heidelin, um, she won the first gold, right, of ever, ever, ever. And so if I'm a country, like if I'm did their day, all right, and I see, uh, even if it was

like the special Olympics and they got a gold, I would, I would like build a little statue of them. Yeah. But now they'll do it. But previous to this, what I'm saying is like, you think they will probably now. But what I'm saying is like, they weren't there for her when she needed the support. And this is a highly misogynistic country, but could I just argue this? What?

Sorry. Already? This is not, this is not a funny thing. This is not an absurd thing. But do you think that her struggles of not getting funding and all the things that she went through to get there? I believe that helped her win the gold. I also believe if she had the best facilities, the greatest coaches, all the funding in the

world, living in, you know, a really posh, you know what I mean, apartment, high rise, you know, get having a driver, all that stuff. I think all that stuff, you know what I mean, would be a negative. I think that her struggles is what made her get the gold. I'm so tired of that narrative that like you have to live. Why is it that everything that I say, you just say the other thing? Like you don't need to live a traumatized pain existence to get to a good place in your life.

Michael Phelps grew up in a nice suburban home with supportive family, with a pool to swim in every day. Not worried about education. Fuck it. Probably ghosted him all with his friends. Not worried about whether he's going to have a meal on his table. How many goals did Michael Phelps seven? He beat Mark Spitz's record.

Probably eight. I will argue this. I mean, let me argue this. I think we did have a struggle live. He wouldn't want 12. You're saying he actually didn't. He actually didn't reach his potential. So.

So dumb. No, that's not my dog. That's my argument. Don't get angry. Why are you so angry? Why do you get angry when you, when you look at me? I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to have a conversation with you. I'm just so proud of Heidelin.

I am too. I cried when that happened. I know, but how come, right? How come you agree with me and we have these really beautiful moments of crying over Heidelin when the cameras are off, but when the cameras are on, you have to say that you have to always go and antagonize. What's your name? Because, because.

Why do you do that? I'll tell you why I do it. I thought it was obvious to everyone in the room, but I do it because it's entertaining. If I, if I just said, okay, let's rewind now. We've never talked about Heidelin, but let's start from that. Let's, I'm going to be positive. Go ahead. Okay.

So the first ever Olympic gold medal was won by a Filipino woman named Heidelindia. And it was so emotional. And I cried and I'm so proud of her and she was up against impossible odds and she, she managed to beat the reigning world Chinese champion Rocky. Isn't she? Oh yeah. It was amazing. I mean, when you show me the video today and I cried.

What a Victoria's victory. I hate the Victoria's victory is real bad. Victoria's victory is the improv team name. Hi. We're Victoria's victory. Can we get a suggestion, please? You're trying to say that whatever I say, your duty is to go against it on this pod. To me, I think that that's what creates conflict and, and, and, but I could be wrong too.

You know, maybe we could be a bigger podcast if I just agreed with everything you said. I think I don't agree with anything you say either. So that's also on me. Yeah. So why don't we try it from now on, from this moment forward, right? To just agree with everyone, what we say and see how that goes. So can we try? Let's talk about Hawaii then.

Let's talk about it. And we, it's all agreement. Yeah. All agree. Yeah. I mean, all right. Hawaii was so fun. Yeah.

I got to dive every day. Didn't you like that? Oh, I loved it. Your voice. Your voice. I loved. Did your voice break? I loved.

You know what I love about you, baby? What do you love? That you love diving every day because I guess, I guess you're, you're there in the element and it's, I know for you, the ocean is your home. And when you're amongst the sea creatures and stuff, it's like, I think you're looking for Anglerman. I mean, that you're in search for Anglerman, your little fantasy guy. Where were you when I was diving?

Well, I'm doing something that I love to do. What it, which is sleeping. Right, babe? Yeah. Did you like that? Like that? I loved when you slept. Yeah.

Yeah. Don't droop. I sleep. Good. That's my element, right? After my dive, I would call and then you wouldn't pick up and I was like, oh, he's sleeping. I was so proud of you. You're so proud of me, right?

Yeah. Because you would come, you would have, you'd go diving, have breakfast. You're also on the other side of the island, which takes like an hour, right? Yeah. So hour, both back, back, back and back, right? Yeah. You come back and then it's afternoon. I'm still sleeping.

Yeah. And I go in, right? I'm like, my people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you, you let me sleep. And we're like, let's go to the cove and there's no conflict. No conflict. We get along.

Yeah. You know, baby. I went to a bar for the first time. I've seen you in a bar. In two years. Oh, in two years. Yeah, yeah, she went to a bar. It was one called Duck Butt.

Yeah, Duck Butt. It was epic. And. Did you drink? I did. Wow. I did. Hard?

Okay. I honestly scared me a little bit. You know, as you have first drink and then second drink and then you get ideas and then now you're searching all over the island for a strip club and that was me. That's like dangerous. This is why I think that I shouldn't really get past like two drinks. Yeah. But you know, I, you know, when you get dolled up and you go out and I like that because

it's a semblance of normalcy. And it's like, um, I just love when you go out with the girls. It was, yeah, three girls, three guys, two guys. Also, so I, can you, from now on, can you go to the premiere, premieres with me? No, only for Sterling's because I love him so much. Yeah, but what happens is like, I just went to a premiere and I asked you to go. You said, there's no way you're going. You had nothing else to do.

It was for how it ends, which is Zoe Lister's Jones. I love her. And I hear the movies. Great. Here's my thing is I also don't trust you that I am like, you read an invite and I don't know if you're dragging me there. If I'm the plus one, if I'm even invited. Okay.

I just want to let you know that there's, there's, there's, there's, there's no premiere where they'll say only you can go. That's never happened in the history of thing. It's always you and a guest. I was really busy packing. No, you weren't. I was packing. Now I got to go to this thing, right?

Look how happy you look without me. There should be a person right here. No, that's the cast. They're all in it. I'm not in it. Look at Zoe so hot, but look at Zoe. But look at my idol Bradley Whitford. Are you wearing Adidas slides?

Yeah. I just realized I was wearing a suit. Open toe. Look at Bradley Whitford. I love that guy. He's the best. The very best. Also that girl in the green dress, she was in mayor of East town.

Yeah. She was amazing. Yeah. Tony Newsom, Chicago. Oh, really? Yes. Okay. But yeah.

So next time. Yeah. I remember Zoe looking at my feet going. She's like, hmm, that's you. Oh no. Now I don't think it's the shoes or the slide she was commenting on. I really do think it was your fucking dragon talents because I have begged you to go to get a pedicure with me.

Wait, what's wrong with your feet? Yeah. I have bad feet. No, he has nails. It's like shaped all like zigzag instead. That's the exact feet. But, um, but then like Seth Rogen was there, like a lot of people were there and having conversations and I just get like really kind of like, I wish Kalala was here because it's

just, it's just someone else to like, you know, go, this is my girlfriend. And then maybe they can, you guys can have a conversation. And it's just that kind of thing where it's like, um, it's a little awkward for me. Okay. Well, next time I will be there for you. Not invited for that one. Wait, I am invited to Stirland's because he told me himself. And I'm in, I refuse to go.

I'm going to go regardless. We'll go separately. No, we'll go separate. They're going to separate time. Well, the rumor field will say we're no longer together. I know. I know. Can you take that off?

Yeah. Thank you. Oh God. I have a question for, um, the yin. So recently I came across this controversy on tiktok that says that some of you guys don't wash or shower your legs when you're in the shower like you don't scrub it. Is that true? I don't.

I scrub. I have to because of my eczema. Oh yeah. Me too. I have to scrub. I have to scrub. Wait, what do you mean you don't wash your legs? Here's how I know I don't because, um, so when, so when I, after the pandemic and I

asked you, can I go to the Korean spa and you said, yes, I went there and this is not even a joke. It's not an exaggeration. I was in the steam room and, you know, I was there by myself and I just started rubbing my legs like this, right? And it created a ball of black, a black skit. What is it? Mugre.

Mugre, right? Yeah. I had two of them because I had rolled it like this and then I combined the two. I made one big one. It was like a mugre about this big and then I started doing this. Yeah. I made another ball. I made a ball of Mugre, a big ball of Mugre and I would do with my skin on my arms.

Yeah. Nothing. Because when I'm in, you know, I do scrub here, I don't fuck with the legs. You know what I mean? Yeah. Wait, that's what my step dad was saying. He was like, no, the, the soapy water just hits it on the way down. So you don't need to do any scrubbing and it drives my mom crazy because that's what

happened. That's Mugre. Yeah. Mugre. Yeah. Because my mom is, she's scrubbing her legs so hard and I think that's, you're exfoliating. Yeah. You're getting clean.

Yeah. It's like, I, it's like, I take care of North America, but South America, you know what I mean? Another thing I don't like about you is that like, I don't understand how sometimes you don't wash your hair. Never. It'll go a month sometimes. That's so nanny.

That's nasty. I was told you're not supposed to wash your hair. You're not supposed to wash your hair. You lose your hair that way. Okay, maybe not every day, but at some point, like I'm very sensitive to the smell of scalp. What's this? What? On your finger.

Oh, that's paper towel. I've been here. Okay. I'm stemming. All right. Leave me alone. I have sensory issues. Yeah.

I don't, there's a lot of places I don't wash. Like I've, I don't think I've ever washed my back. That's very hard. That's okay. But don't you use the little towel to do like a labacara to do this to the back? No, because I have such short arms, just, right, just, I can't do it. Look at this. Let's say I have the thing here, right?

I can't do it. Get a longer one then. I can't do it. That's impossible because we have that long Korean towel in an hour. No, I've always asked you, I've always wanted to ask you while I was taking a bath, could you scrub my back? Gladly. I'll scrub your legs too.

I don't want to fuck with my, my, I like the mugray. What have I offered multiple times, babe, let me cut your toenails and you won't let me. I like the mugray. I like the toenails. All right. There's certain parts of my body. I like the way they are. It's like, if you go to like an ancient city like, Atlantis, no, like a city where there's

old buildings, like for instance, somewhere in India, give me a, you know, give me a place where there's temples. Mumbai. There's probably ancient temples there, right? Oh yeah. There's actually, there's our restaurant temple. Yes. Yes.

Thank you so much. And they don't like, do they go, let's repaint that? No, it's not like that. They leave it the way it is. That's what my, how my feet are. They're ancient. They're ancient. Right.

They're temples. Do you guys put the whole soap bar in your butt? George? The soap bar? So you, some people, they do this, get it foam, then butt. I sometimes will just put the whole thing in my butt and go fast. Oh, the whole soap. I thought you're putting it in your hole.

I put it in the hole. Sometimes it goes in the hole. What I do is I'll carve out a piece of soap, pull it, I really will do this. Oh my God. You're actually a bumpy butt. Hold on. What? You're ripping cakes.

You're carving it out. We're like ripping out a piece of soap. Yeah. And I kind of, in the water, I'll just make a little like mini dildo, a soap dildo, right? I really will do this. What's so funny? A mini dildo? Out of the soap.

Okay. And then I'll just jam it in my asshole, right? And I'll do like a screw and it's so good because you get it inside the hole. Do you fart bubbles? Yeah. That's cute, kind of. Yeah. I don't wash my vagina with soap ever.

Is this like showroom vagina when I'm down there with her? Like it's never been used. Oh, wow. Like if Macy's had like a vagina department, it'd be like not being real, like a pristine like, oh, this is the new model. Yeah. Yeah. This is not coming out until, oh, 2024.

So it's in, you know, development. I will say, I take really good care of my intro. And that's what I'm saying. Like when it comes to vags, is that you're talking about? It's a good one. It's one of the best. In fact, like if there was a Michelin star, like if they did it, it would be one. One star?

Yeah. You're not going to get Michelin. I mean, how would you describe a two star vagina and a three star Michelin star vagina? Well, wait, you're saying, you know, listen, I don't want, I don't want to say anything. You're saying my pussy is not a Noma, Renee Redzepi or an Elinia. No, but I think there's got to be different like, um, criteria when it comes to vagina. It's like, you know, what's that place in, um, elasticity, elasticity, elasticity. Snapback.

Yeah. My, what if I had to snap back from it? It's just your dick that goes in there. And that's rude. And the judge, and I'm the Michelin star guy, right? There we go. You can't accuse the Michelin star guy with a small dick. You don't have a small dick.

Stop saying that. You're saying it's not snapping back. You're saying it's not snapping back. No, I'm saying birth, other things. What are you going to say, George? Great, great food, but the weight staff here is a little, a little lippy, I think, a little. Calling me lippy. Oh, okay.

That's good. You know what? For your information, it's not as lippy as it should be. You know what? You know what? The comedy is good. They're coming from you, right? It's just your voice.

Delivery. It literally is your voice. You know what I mean? So it's like, it takes, it takes. Anyway, my point is. You sound like everybody on Reddit by saying that. That's, that's all I hear. I'm sorry, Shane.

I apologize. I love your voice. You have great leg zone. That's, that's, that's all that matters. That's all that matters. But, um, your vagina is, um, how do I explain it? It would be showroom, right? Yeah.

Or it would be one star Michelin. I think three stars. I'm going to kind of, you know, I mean, it's, you know, I would say mine is probably a very reliable Toyota RAV4 2019, not even 2021, 2017, 2017 RAV4 all wheel drive that has driven a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Low mileage.

Oh no, no, no, it's not true. High mileage, but very efficient maintenance. Yeah. Yeah. Good maintenance. Yeah. But you know what's funny is that I haven't necessarily been with a lot of people. I just fuck a lot.

Okay. Let's move on. Let's move on. Highway miles. Highway miles. Highway miles. Yeah. Yeah.

It's highway miles. It's just that like, I've never had like multiple like one night stands. I don't do one night stands. I'm getting taxes from highway miles just to make the renaissance epi. Okay. Here's what I meant to say. Let me clarify my statement because it came, came out wrong. It's just that in my life, like maybe compared to you, I haven't had a lot of one night stands.

I've always had like three week stands where it's like, I will meet someone. We have this mini romance. We have a lot of sex and then it's goodbye and I never speak to them again. Yeah. But I've, you know, I'll be honest with you. You know, a lot of people think that I'm a, you know, a machine. You know what I mean? I get a lot of curls back in the day.

I don't. I've only been in relationships. You have been only in relationships. I think the being is because I looked in the mirror a long time ago and I went, yeah, this, you need to commit with this, with this body and your attitude and your personality. You're going to get hot chicks, but you have to like look him in the eye and go, oh, let's go for the long drive. You know, so I've, I've always known if I would, if I looked like Steven young, I might

have looked in the mirror and go, no, I can, you mean God, if you look like Steven young, babe, I don't, I don't like the way you just did that. Right. Missing. Because there's a lot of girls I could say that about. Oh, I wouldn't hurt my feeling. Like so many.

I can even think of one. That's why you're, and wow, that's very, you're the prettiest. Yeah. Yeah. I saw that also, you know, the kingdom show that movie that they put out. What's that? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Ashen of the North. I think that's what's called. So, you know, can you watch kingdoms? The Korean zombie series? Oh, I've seen that. No. It's wonderful. It's a great show.

You've never seen Kingdom? No. Oh my God. It's on Netflix. It's watched the first two seasons. It's a masterpiece. And so in between, before they released the third season, the third season, they released this movie.

This movie. Do you see Kingdom? Mm hmm. I've seen the trailer. Oh my God. You guys are missing out on one of the best shows ever. It's very well done. It's so well done.

It's so good. It's so good. And it's like, you know, I'm a huge, like I love that subgenre of zombies, although, you know, Army of the Dead was not great. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. What? Do you see it?

Yeah. Yeah. But when you see Kingdom, right? And for some reason, when Koreans do it, first of all, when you put like, when you make the zombie in a different in a different country, right, it changes it a bit. I don't understand how my because Korean zombies, Asian zombies are just different. And what? Yeah.

Characteristics. Well, they're they bend differently because of like, like, you know, you know how Asians can bow? No. You know how we can sit like this? Oh yeah. Squat. Zombies can just Asian zombies do something different.

Yeah. Like some type hyper mobility and their hips, they have hyper mobility, right? So they can sprint faster type window, right? I think they're also Asian zombies and don't get offended by people, right? Are smarter, organized, they're more, you know, I mean, they're more like, you know, I mean, you go there, I go here, you know, I mean, yeah, because they don't talk like that. That's true because American zombies don't have a thought between those eyes.

Yeah. You can tell that they're trying, they're trying to strategize. Also, you see American zombies and when there's no humans around, they're always like roaming around like, you know, a grocery store. Yeah. They're shopping. They're always like they're in a abandoned McDonald's, right? I bet you when Asian zombies, when they're not chasing down other Asians, right, they're

probably doing some sort of work. Yeah. Engineering. And counting on a computer. Maybe they're just standing there, you know what I mean, and they have an abacus. The oldest mathematical, you know what I mean, they're doing something. We also loved Alive. What's that one?

I remember they were stuck in the building and then it was another zombie Korean movie. Korean one. Yeah. And then the girl was across the other building. Oh, that was a great one. That was a smart one. That was another smart one. Just Asian zombies are scarier, you know what I mean, because there's just something more

behind a work ethic. Can I just say that there's a work ethic behind Asian zombies? Is that, is that cancelable? I don't think it's cancelable, right? So that's why in now in a movie like our TV show, like Kingdom, it's hundreds of years ago in old timey Korea, like Chosun Korea, right? And it's like, it's just, they do little clever devices that hasn't been done before. Like, I'll just give something away.

Can I just give something away, please? So Asian zombies, right, in Kingdom, right, during the day, they, they're not around. They're sleeping underneath like shade, like underneath like, they're all huddled together underneath a rock or underneath a building. And then when at night, they come, they come alive, right? So you think they don't like the sunlight, right? So the humans in, in Kingdom are like, we are fine during the day. You know what I mean?

They can have a life. They sleep. Oh, I see. They sleep, right? But then, I'm giving a spoiler, you don't mind. But then one day, so they're walking around, now it's kind of November and the zombies are out during the day. So they realize it's not the sunlight, it's the heat.

Right. Like little tiny devices like that. That's cool. At which point, I would be taking a boat straight to Vanuatu or some type of very humid island. Yeah. Because I'm like, all right, I don't want to be here in the fucking winter. Right. Yeah, that's fine.

Go to the Fiji's or something. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Go to the Philippines, go to Micronesia, go to like whatever hot island there is. Which brings me back to, did you see a quiet place too? Oh, I loved it. It was good. A masterpiece.

I thought. Really good. Sound design. Sound design. It's also pacing. That dude, John Kronzinski, is talented, bro. And I should have said more to him at the fucking restaurant. Wait, when did you see Jim?

At the restaurant? At Nobu. Oh, that's right. So I was in Hungary. Yeah. And I was sitting there with Jeannina and we're just eating and then she kind of goes, look over there and there was a guy and he kind of goes like this. He calls you over?

Like, hi, come over, right? I don't know who it is. Right? I don't know who it is. I'm like, and Jeannina just gets up to go, so I walk over there and then this guy is talking to me. He's like, I've seen you around LA, right? We've run into each other before, right?

And I look and it's John Kronzinski, right? And I just go, what's that, man? I know, I know, it was weird. It was weird because I just, I wanted to act. You look like angry Stevie Wiggins. I wanted to act cool, right? Because I don't want to go, oh my God, I love your shit, right? I don't want to be too, you know, dicksucky, right?

But I did the opposite, which made me look weird. I was like, get to see her out too. You know what I mean? All right, later. And I just walked away. It was fucking weird. Oh my God. It was fucking weird.

If you're listening now, I'm a huge fan and I thought you're, that movie, it's, you know, it's great to see, you know, guys like Jordan and guys like John, who are stepping outside, you know, acting and comedy and doing other shit, showing their skillset. And it's like, you know, what I've been doing is I've been watching movies now and I'm watching now what's in a wide, how they're cutting angles, how they're cutting certain things. And so maybe I'm going to try one day. I really wish that you played around more with like cameras and stuff because I really think you have an amazing eye.

I think so too. I think I would be good at takes and have different, I just, I need to be, you get one shot at it, I think. What do you mean? If you're famous, yeah. So if I, if I, if I wanted to do a movie and directed, I want, I would want it to be the best, like I want to look at it in the editing room and going, yeah, this is exactly what I wanted.

Direct my prison musical. That's not my thing. I don't think that's my thing, babe. Della Cruz, I thought you loved it. No, no, no, I just, you know, I don't know much about choreography. I think that thing needs like really good choreography and like even like a movie with action scenes, I would, it would be, it's a different kind of, the element that I forgot to add there was that the birthplace of Eskrima and Arnis and a lot of this weapons fighting

is in Cebu. That's the birthplace of it. So it would involve a lot of, I thought that was dancing, weapons fighting Eskrima. You're talking about your Filipino prison movie. I know, babe, but in the prison part of the musical, there's a lot of martial arts like Eskrima. You never said that. And Arnis, I just added that information.

So you're just adding new shit right now? That's what I forgot. Mr. Della Cruz. I'm sorry, we tried, security tried to stop her, but she's back in here or how did she just run back in here? She fought people. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. I'm going to pass on your project as a director, as a producer to think about it, but it's a hard pass. There's no way I'm doing it. But so that's good. Someone that wants to see something, a good zombie show, it's the kingdom. I'm imploring you to do it, both of you. And then a guilty pleasure of mine was a I am legend.

I know the zombies look like shit, but I love the idea. I'll tell you why I liked I am legend. Yes. And the reason why I liked it is because it's the first time in a movie like that where I see a believable relationship between a man and a dog. Samantha. Oh, yeah. That was that.

So it really broke my heart at the end when you thought that Sam was a dog, a boy. Yeah. Sam, Sam, Sam at the end, he's like, Samantha, a single teardrop. Yeah. But when Samantha turns right and he has to kill her, yeah, it's probably the most saddest thing I've ever seen. And that's like, that's why, like when I watch a movie, I've said this before of signs. Yes.

What's my problem with signs is that they didn't bring the dog in. Yeah. They're in the house and they hear the barking. Oh, we left them out. It's like, that'd be the first thing before my kids, bitch. Right. You know what? That would.

Yeah. My kid would be outside going, dad. Too late. And I'd be with the dogs. I'd be like, it's too late for him. I mean, the dogs and cats would be first. You know what I mean? Maybe not the cats.

I think the cats will be fine. Yeah. I can't enjoy movies where there's any type of threat to the animals. Yeah. I just, I'm out of it. I'm just like, oh, this person who made this movie is not a dog or an animal lover. Another one, Independence Day, you know what I mean, when she's in the tunnel with her kid.

Yeah. They're the dog. Right. And they're like, come on, Buffy. I don't know what the dog's name is. And he barely makes it in. Yeah. If he would have burned in that fucking tunnel, I would have walked out of the theater.

Damn. It's so important to me. Filmmakers. Are you listening? Yeah. And here's another thing is that why not in all these movies, right? Why isn't it ever a cat? It's always the dog.

It's always the dog, right? Because I think cats. They're too smart. No. No emotion. Right? No emotion. What?

But a dog. A dog. What kind of cat? A dog squealing while you're, it's changing into a zombie. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. It's not nato. Yes. No. It's not nato. My mom tried it for her. She did it for your mother.

Yes. Yes. So I was missing some things. So I like your爸爸 said, you were mother, so you give it to her. is the more loving and responsible owner. If this house were, there was a fire and we're up close, what's your strategy? What's your breakout strategy?

The we all dead together. Oh my God. And so my breakout strategy, no, when the fire dissipates, they're gonna find my dead carcass and underneath my body is all my animal. Alive or dead? Dead.

Then what's the point? Yeah, but we're dead together. One for all and one for one. You would save two or three. No, I wouldn't. I'd still be, I'd be dead in the house. I am so paranoid about that, especially with my cats,

that I line up three different crates in a safety closet and I count the steps I've already taken from bed. So if there's a fire that breaks out and I practice, I drill it every day. I have an argument and this is the truth. I have a contingency plan. Okay, don't get offended by this because I'm gonna give it up.

Of course I'm gonna, it's gonna hurt me. I don't get offended by this. She's gonna be offended. But I'm gonna give it up to you. You're so hurtful all the time. No, no, no, I'm gonna give it up to you, right? And I have to say out loud that in terms of responsibility and escape plans

and what to do, right? You have it down a lockdown and I do not. So I'm gonna give you that. But the second thing is I really believe this, is that I love them more. Are you offended? I really believe that. Are you offended, Kalilah?

I believe I love my animals more. And that can never be proven. Who feeds them every day? It has nothing to do with, it's the heart. Who gives them water, fresh water every day? I don't think you're capable. Who pets them every day. I don't think you're capable of that kind of love.

Can you list some like untangibles that you do? Yeah, what even, what's the measure? How do you measure that? For me, it's acts of service. And I show those acts of service every day. I'll give you one tangible evidence, if I may. I do count kisses. So I count the amount of times,

like so when we're, you and I are laying together and Gobi comes up to us. Gobi loves to kiss both us both, right? Or Julio, that's a better example, because Julio's a maniac when it comes to kissing. I think he's French. And he, I really do. So when Julio's on us and I see,

sometimes our heads are next to each other, so he'll go back and forth, right? You pull away after about five seconds. Because I'm not into bestiality. And see, that's why my love is deeper. Because it's no, I'm not, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop. It's not bestiality, right?

But I don't even think of it. Babe, I don't wanna get giardia or some shit that will give me diarrhea. My point is I'm willing to do it out of love. And that's why my love is greater. You know why my love is greater? I posted on Instagram a video of Gobi licking the inside of my mouth and got a lot of shit for it.

Are you willing to do that? That's how I know, I was willing to prove my love. That's not, that was by accident. You thought that it was gonna get a lot of hits and love and the comments were shocking to you. I was like, oh, they really hate this. And I was singing a Beatles song. So let this be known today, right?

The calla is more responsible, but I have far more love. And I wanna say that in life, everyone in this room. The mother always gets shit on at the end. No, no, no, I'm gonna talk about these boys too, right? The amount of love I have, it's just deeper. It's a deeper sea. You think you love them more than I love them? No, it's just that your capability of love.

Hang on one second. This wordplay is amazing. Who shows you more love, Joel? I'll start with George. Who shows you more love? Who do you feel more love for? It's not out of words or action. Wait, don't try to manipulate him.

You have your own love language, how you receive and view love, how you perceive love. Who do you feel more loved by? Hey Gilbert, you wanna go first on this one? I will go first. This is why it's tricky for me because I have two love languages when I took the test here at top.

One, physical touch. Gotta grab them titties on me. Who grabs titties more, Bobby? So here's the thing, it's physical touch and words of affirmation. Kalayla's words have definitely picked me up a lot and she actually is genuinely interested. But here's physical, here's the thing.

She does not- Interesting. But here, she does not. There's a playfulness you have with me where you will touch me. The kitty touching. We play around. I definitely feel love from that.

Gilbert, I can't jiggle your balls. It's inappropriate. But he does and I feel close. Yeah, let me stop you there, right? Is she trying to get you? So I don't have the Hollywood strings. Is she trying to get you on a network show? And actually has pushed it along so that you could do this.

Who brought you on this podcast, Gilbert? All right. So my point is that, what is she willing to do? Everything in my power is just that I don't have that Hollywood pull because you're the most Hollywood in this room. I don't either. I had to pull.

You think that it was like an easy call? No. No, it was pulling levers and mechanisms and things that you will never be able to understand. A gene. So- God, okay, George, your turn.

Well, I think Bobby gives bursts of warmth and Kalayla has a steady- What was that? Yeah, so steady warmth. I give steady warmth. But steady warmth, I believe, is not, it is fake. But burst. Burst is real.

Right, because that's- In between those bursts, George, I have a question for you. My follow-up question is, in between those bursts of warmth, what do you feel? Is it a dead cold? Yeah, there's sometimes some icy air that hits, but there's bursts of warmth too.

Yeah, yeah. That's life, bud. Yeah. Warmth and icy air. You gotta have both. You gotta have good and evil. You know, fire and ice, maybe. So, George, what do you feel more loved by?

Right now, neither of you. This is pretty scary. Good answer. Very good answer. I feel- Most of the time, you, Kalayla. Thank you. Then, every so often, Bobby comes in and boom, boom, boom.

Here's a deal. His love is big and shiny. Here's a deal for it, right? You know, you can buy into fake love, all you want. Okay. But I don't buy into it. What's his son's name? His son, George Jr.

What do they call him? Did I get that right, though? Yeah, that's the easiest one. We already talked about it. It doesn't matter. And I only answer one question. Is it George Jr.? And we move on.

It's not George Jr. What number? George the what? The third. Nope. The fourth. Nope. The fifth.

And there's that burst. Thank you for having your son. The fifth. The fifth. Right. That's ridiculous. Change it. Yeah, that's a lot.

Somebody in their life. You know, one of your son- Well, he's actually more like the 14th. George Kimmel. They had different middle names way back in the day. Oh, wow. Wow. Stop it.

What do you want? Monarchy? Why? Kinda, huh? Let's just go back. I want to end with this. May I end with my left? Can I do it with the final statement?

And then we'll move on. Okay. The final statement is that my heart is an abyss of love. It's endless. It drops for eternity. Right? You guys have love like a little balloon pocket of love. And it's there, right?

But mine's so deep. And I'm going to say this as my final thing. We don't get a rebuttal? No. I love all three of you so very much. And may wisdom and the torch of life and your offspring travel through time within each layer of glacier ice and fire, right?

And beneath the wind of my sea, we'll create a magical temptation and, right? Everlasting foundation of creating our miracles. I feel loved, I feel loved. Hey guys, that is our solo. You guys asked for a solo, we got a solo, but we also have amazing guests coming through. Stacked, very stacked.

Very stacked, for sure. Any shout outs? Do we have a shout out in the room for anyone? George, shout outs for your child? Not my child right now, actually a shout out to Victor. I knew this time was going to come. I was going to say hi to him. I knew this time was going to come.

I was back at my parents' house. Is it my ex? No, no, no. Oh, I was going to be like, oh my God, you found Puppet? Shout out to Kalilah's ex. I had an ex named Victor, guys. That is true, Puppet. No, I was back home and the folks at my parents' nursery

had a big lunch for me, but the Monday I got back so they could see my son. And one of the kids there who's working this summer, whose mom's worked for us forever, he was like, look to me, he was like, hey, big fan of the podcast. So I gave him a nice shirt, his name's Victor, shout outs to Victor, he wants to be a comedian

like everybody that we work with. Oh, that's sweet. I love Victor, what a great name. Hit me up if you wanted any advice on anything and yeah, I hope, stay in touch, buddy. His mom got his photo for me. I think I saw that, I was like, oh, that's so crazy. He works with the company your mom owns.

That's wild. My shout out is to the entire island of Oahu. Not the people, well, the people too. My friend, Aaron, who took us out diving every day. It was literally like the best time of my life. But just generally my shout out is to the topography and the ocean and just the actual island itself. It appreciates it very much.

God, it's like, you know, I realized that that really is my respite. Like I am, you can't find a happier version of me than when I'm in the water. I know that's really corny to say. But also shout out to the first bar I went to in two years. Shout out to Duck Butt. It's a Korean karaoke place.

That's your first bar. Had a blast. They have great soju there. They have all flavored soju. They have taro, they have, uh-huh. They have Milona, you know Milona the bar? Yeah, we should prove it. The bar?

Um, yeah, but shout out just to the fucking island. I'm gonna give a shout out to Klyla getting wasted. She didn't drink. I didn't get wasted. You did. I didn't. I had two drinks. You just told me earlier that you almost,

when you drink, you don't wanna go straight up. You guys don't have those feelings? It's just me. I don't know what it is. I think I lived in Vegas too long. It's just what we did for so long. Sure. That it was part of like,

it's just me trying to be nostalgic about some things. So you're like, oh yeah, what are we gonna do now? We'll, you know, experiments open and we would just go there with friends and stuff. So I tried to. Live some of that. Apply that. But, you know, it was unsuccessful

and we did try to go into this speak easy and that did not bode well for us. We almost got killed. Because. Cause. Pop it. Well, no, we weren't allowed there. It was like some secret party.

Oh, you guys, we're about to. And we were like, hi, we're from out of town. Like, well, you let us go with you. That's the worst thing you can do. Like, fuck no leave. That's the worst thing you can say in Hawaii. Hi, we're from out of town. It certainly wasn't me.

You think I would do that? I sent my friend Melanie to do it. I'll say, hey, go over there and ask if they'll have us. Take one for the team. Oh God, but it was a good time. I really wish that we could go back there as a team. George, are there any announcements for the Slop Kingdom? Thanks to everybody who bought merch.

I think we are sold out, officially sold out. I think so. Yeah. Maybe one, two more forexes. So get those last two forexes. Oh, they're still up. One. Is there a forex?

Can I have it? Okay, we are officially sold out. No more forexes? We are officially sold out. I love big sleepy shirts that come down to my knees. It makes me remember a time when I had big, tall boyfriends. I don't know why I'm so far. You leave the room, you get diced.

Well, here's two options in my life, right? So I actually have the better of the two options, which is you have a boyfriend that's way bigger than you, and then you have all of these boyfriend jeans or boyfriend tops to get to wearing, just swimming in them and you feel really cute. Or you can be the exact same size as your boyfriend and you can share everything from socks,

underwear, beanie, tank top, everything. So I did get the better end of that deal because Bobby and I do share all of our stuff. But do I miss swimming in a strapping young man's clothing and a forex? Certainly. But that lives in my fantasy. It's not my reality, okay?

Now you share your panties with a man. And now I share my panties with a really cute little baby gargoyle. There we go, guys. You know what else? We gotta thank our sponsors, George. Let's thank Calm, Hymns, Credit Carmers, The Procuter, and Miro.

Join the number one mental wellness app for listeners of the show. Calm is offering a special limited time promotion to 40% off a calm premium subscription at calm.com slash belly. Today, Hymns is giving you their best offer yet right now. Andres, who should, please guys, don't give Andres more followers than me.

I know he was begging, he's begging for it over on Bad Friends. It's so embarrassing. So just don't let it happen. If you want to, follow me just for a day or two, follow me on Instagram, george underscore Kimmel. Don't let the fancy win. I made him everything.

I think it's gonna backfire. It's gonna back, you're gonna lose followers. I think you're gonna lose followers this way. Now that's what's backfiring is cause you guys are trying both ganging up against. Do you want fancy to win? No, I don't. I just don't think begging is the way.

He did it over on Bad Friends. Oh, he did? Well, I think, oh, actually, he did it. Actually, Andrew begged for him. So maybe do you want Andres to win? I beg for your prettier. No, Bobby should speak on your behalf.

I feel like he's gonna be the guy who's gonna get you up top. So you don't want to speak on my behalf? Come on, come on. Just a little. Look, if we're talking about the Olympics here. I'll beg you to beg them. Look, if we're talking about the Olympics,

I can get you to the podium, but I can only get you to third place, the bronze. If you're happy with that, I can certainly rally for you. You guys, what's your Instagram handle? George underscore Kimmel, but now I want them all to go to fancy B and say, hey, use For Hems, I'm following George.

Oh, that's funny. Oh, that's right. Which promo code though? Belly, let's see. ForHems.com slash Belly. Let Andres know, you're using ForHems.com slash Belly. Guys, follow George at George underscore Kimmel.

Kalei Klamdike, look at her with her volleyball. It's the Olympics, everyone. Also, shout out to the first American, I think, is it American female to win? Spencer, but yes, the Spencer, but also Taekwondo. This girl won gold, our first Taekwondo, we beat Korea. Korea lost a lot in Taekwondo. Yeah, I love to hear it.

You hear that, Korea? You're not so good at Taekwondo anymore. Also, it's really emotional for me to watch the Olympics because I have very unrealized dreams. Now, what are you guys' thoughts of me making a comeback at, well, the next Olympic year would be, I will be 40 by then, what are your thoughts? The Tom Brady of swimming.

Oh my God. Guys, like, you know when I knew that I was never gonna make it in the US Olympic team, that I had to settle for the Philippines. Hey, you've competed at Worlds, stop downplaying it. No, no, not Worlds. Worlds. Oh, Southeast Asian Games, I won gold, thank you.

But, I wanted to say that out loud. Not Worlds, but have you not seen what these girls look like? Very strong. They're tall and they are muscular, so unless I can physically get there, there's not a chance for me, not a chance.

Guys, was crowdfund her training? Let's raise some money, let's send her to the World. You can crowdfund all you want, it's a matter of whether or not I'm gonna wake up and actually get to the World. Oh, we're sending her to Oregon. Get her Tom Brady's trainer, I think that's all we need.

We send her to Oregon. Why would we get Tom Brady's, oh, the trainer. Yeah. Whoever's figuring out how to keep his body going. So I think that I'm mentally a lot better than I was when I was young, because now I'm like, but there is a sense when you're young, you're a lot more fearless,

you're not overthinking anything, and you're just getting in there and racing. I'm more strategic now, but a lot more nervous. So we'll see how it pans out. Honestly, I think you should do it. What a great story that would be. This 40 year old woman could compete in the Olympics. What is that LA by then?

I don't need, I could be dead fucking last in like a hundredth place as long as I make it. Wait, is that LA 2024? Yes. Bro, you're a walk on Olympics. Is it not, LA is 2028, I think. Okay, do it that time, it'll be 44. Yeah, even better.

You gotta do it when you're 44, that's amazing. In LA, you're hometown, but you don't even wear an American flag, you wear a Pasadena flag. If there is one. I say this, right? And I can't even do a 25 yard butterfly without dying right now.

You can do it. But you're right, I can do it. There we go. Tiger Belly, we're doing it, baby. We're going to the Olympics, down the street, because we're waiting for the LA one, it's cheaper that way. Oh, Calamity K on all social media, Bobby Lee Live, Jordan N'Thor's Gimmel,

Evami and Gilbets, follow us at Tiger Belly on Instagram for all your updates, and Twitter at that Tiger Belly, we love you so much, goodnight. Chocolook, Bola, hey. Chocolook, Gimmel, Gisala, Manfi, Dan, Poco, Kani, Aima, Kabbalo, Lee, Kurokaya, Madong, Dunaga, Bopola,

Kiu, Mungi, Aitoyo, Lu, Chocolook, Gimmel, Gisala, Manfi, Dan, Poco, Kani, Aima, Kabbalo, Lee, Kurokaya, Madong, Dunaga, Bopola, Kiu, Mungi, Aitoyo, Lu. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly ad-free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today,

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