TigerBelly - Ep 309: Ms. Pat's 1st Asian Friend

Episode Date: August 11, 2021

Bobby is Jap Slap. Ms. Pat hates Teen Mom. We talk about not knowing Kaley Cuoco, PC Comedy vs The Ms. Pat Show, the truth about Wayne Williams, and Lil Nas' BET Awards outfit. Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus I guess you can he can talk like this is Asians have been beat up on beat up on the white people Three more months though three more months Yeah, by three more months and you have to fuck up He knows I love him. He's Asian you treat them both the same. I'd say yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Am I mean to you? I mean, we're pretty yeah, I like us now. I feel like our relationship feels good. Yeah You didn't like him at first. No, I loved I looked up to him

But he hated me when I first joined I looked he was my like the only Asian on network TV She's like my boyfriend's Bob Billy. I'm like, oh my god love to help the first thing he does He's like you suck. You're gay. No, I said you're gay. No Or hey for two years you got everyone on this podcast. I think I was at a gay relationship So good, but I call you like flat face flat face very boy. Why is he the flat face? No, you got a flat I look like he was born over here. You look like you was brought over Yeah, look like he's from Hawaii. Yeah, I look like I'm from like old-school Asia. Well, I can't talk about y'all right now

You know, we're good. We're good. No, we're not good You try to set a niggle. I Ain't saying shit bad about you. I appreciate my hair Are you recorded? Yeah, we're right. All right. So miss Pat We're just I'll introduce you and then what you can start talking. I do a little intro first Okay, I don't need me to be rude. You know, man All right, it's a fucking pocket, but we get the editor. How the fuck we want to there we go at the end Don't get naked. That's

Do you get scared when I get naked? I get scared with any white person get all right, but I'm Asian. I don't give a fuck you skin I love already I love it That's a good point though your skin is white. Do you have white? No, I'll argue that let's fucking start it I haven't argued. He's been recording go back. All right, go ahead. He does a countdown 4-3. Yeah, dude 4-3 Yeah. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

Oh. Ah. Yeah. Hey! Oh. Don't do that. Sorry. I love you.

Thanks. I'm Bobby Lee. I'm the captain of this ship. I feel great. I hit Wilco Bet. What did I tell you? Two o'clock? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. I had fucking some deep dreams last night. About? About, um, because I saw that documentary about, um, what's it called? Ivan the Terrible. Ivan the Terrible. Oh my God. What was the name of that documentary?

It's called The Devil Next Door. Oh, I thought he'd say, I thought he'd say, I had a tiger. No, no, no, no, no, no. What the fuck? The Rocky documentary. No, no, no, no. It's not a documentary. It's not an old movie.

No, no, no, no. So, so, um, let's just go, I'm just going to introduce Miss Pat. Give her a round of applause. I'm sorry. Let's just get that going. Thank you so much for doing the podcast. Um, I've been a fan from afar. I think you're just, just naturally funny, intrinsically funny.

Thanks. Um, you're just, uh... You were on the cabin, right? With Bert. Oh, girl. What happened? What happened? What didn't fucking happen?

I know. Did you watch that episode? No, I... What happened? The fucking best. Wait, what happened? She, Miss Pat just goes off. I did not go off.

I was being my fucking self. I just talked to Bert about it. Kelly Koso. Kusko. Kusko, yeah. Kusko. Kusko. Kusko.

Kusko. Kelly from, uh, Big Bang Theory. Yeah. And, uh, Joel McCall. And he, he thought it would be good to put us together. And he said, I wouldn't know who she was. Yeah, yeah. And I wouldn't know who they was.

Well, I grew up watching the soap because Joel McCall always been a cute, sexy white guy. Yeah, yeah. He'd get out the car and I was like, hey, I know who Ryan Seacrest is. He said, and I know who Lizzo is. Which was fucking awesome. And so he went on to ask me, did I know her? And I didn't know who she was. I had never seen her before.

I had never heard her name. And, and I just looked at her and I was like, and when he told me who she was, I said, I don't know who you are. I don't know no black people that watched the Big Bang Theory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and it just went downhill from there.

But, and, and oh my God, people's in my box. I'm racist. How the fuck am I racist if I don't know somebody? Yeah, exactly. Hey, I don't know all them white men's on the money. But I still. Yeah, but there's sort of shit that. Yeah, there's shit.

I don't watch. I don't watch certain networks or this and that. There's some times that we're on walking down the street in Beverly Hills and photographers will be taking photos of somebody. I'll turn around and it's some white dude walking down. I don't know who the fuck. Who the fuck is he? Okay.

I don't know. I don't know any. Look, I'm 49 year old black woman who mine my motherfucking business. I don't get into reality shows. I don't. I don't want to see a bunch of black bitches fighting. Like, I don't. I don't watch shit.

I watch drug dealing movie. I'm a drug dealer. What movies do you watch? Oh, fucking knock on Queen of the South. Black list. Oh, oh, handmade. I like to see white clicks get cut off. Yeah, I love the white clicks.

That's my shit. What do you think they do with them after they put them in a little bowl you think? I don't know, but this was so fucking good. Well, I ain't nothing like a pissed off, strong-faced white woman. It got really good. That's the type of shit I watch. I don't watch no pick me up and carry me across the sea ass, drama ass shit. Ain't nobody going to be picking my big black ass and cut me out in the water.

First of all, I'm black. You anybody get my head wet? No guys. So I don't get into all that old lovey-dovey shit. I'm a ghetto hood bitch. Do you watch nature documentaries about like giraffes? Fuck no. Why?

You can learn giraffes. Giraffes and shit? The fuck I need to see with giraffe. I can see a tall motherfucker in here. Yeah, yeah. What about like sea creatures? You know, sea enemies. No, I don't watch with roaches.

I don't watch it. No, I don't watch it. And I think, I think alligators are some mean motherfucker grabbing fucking dear babies by the neck and choking them out and shit. I don't want to see nature eat nature. Do you watch any like serial, like serial killer documentaries? Uh-huh. I just watched on YouTube.

I was just passing, strolling in this, um, called fatal attraction. This is the first time I've ever seen it like with all black women. Oh, wait, this wasn't the movie fatal attraction. No, no, not the movie. It was like just real incident. When I was in Riverdale, Georgia, where I, um, where I have a home, I still have a house there and it was very interesting. So, you know, I watched a little shit like that.

But really I'm so busy between family and trying to be a fucking comedian. I don't have time to watch shit when I close my eyes and I'm trying to motherfucking sleep. Yeah. Shit. Every time I'm trying to get my titties out of my face when I take my car off. I'm trying to rest. Did you start in, obviously you started in Atlanta. How old were you when you started?

Shit. I don't know. Late 20s. I've been doing this shit almost 20 years. Late 20s. I was a late comedian. I didn't start in 19. I started straight out of the box with something to talk about.

So, I was married. I was married with kids and my kids were still in fucking school. Wow. It was a struggle. Yeah. You had kids really young, right, Miss Pat? Yeah. 14, 15.

Oh my God. 14? Yeah. I was trying to get that shit out of the way. Smart. I know this is waiting for you 20 when your pussy about broke down. You know, waiting to the correct age society say, use the pussy when you can. I'm not advocating for teenage pregnancy.

I say, do you? Yeah, yeah. You think it's over for me at 36? You think dust is coming out of my pussy? Who fucks you? Ask that person. That's my girlfriend. Oh, is dust coming out of pussy?

Yeah. Well, there we go. A lot of dust. Are you trying to get pregnant? No. You don't want to get pregnant? I don't know. I don't think so.

I want to have babies with her, but we don't know yet. Because when we first dated, Miss Pat, you know, I knocked her up. Can I say it? Yeah, no. I got two abortions. I knocked her up a couple times. I say this, you can't keep them all, but anyway. Did you have abortions to Miss Pat?

Fuck yeah, I had them. Get on dick, keep your pregnant. I don't know any girlfriend of mine that hasn't had one. Well, most women have, but they won't say it out loud. Oh my God, bitch. I know your pussy. We got the same pussy. They went down the same village.

Okay. You had an abortion. And then they be like, I'm not a mama. You are a mama. You just didn't keep them. So you get to celebrate Mother's Day too. It's not with your child. I never thought of it that way.

That's true though. Yeah. You was a mama. You just, the baby acts in the wrong way, but you are a mother. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. We're parents. You guys have been parents for many years.

We have two ghost kids. The abortion was by you. Is it worth it? Having kids? It used to be worth it when they was great text right off. But when Trump got in the office, he took all that shit away from the four people. And so I'm quite sure y'all ain't in the class where you get EIC because you don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

It's called Earn, Earn, Income, Credit. Where they take your money and give it to poor motherfuckers so we can buy flat stream TVs. That's the best way I can describe it. The people with money. So it's not worth it anymore. I mean unless you just want a diaper bag on your shoulder or somebody sucking on your TD other than Bobby Lee. I mean, I breastfed only my gay daughter.

Yeah. And I just, I have a bit, that's why I think she's gay because I put titties in her mouth too soon. Yeah. Yeah. But they really do suck the length out of your fucking TD. Like they'll make one of your titties on the even. Yeah.

And I had a really nice figure in shit and I had these motherfucking back man arms and shit. And I had that first baby and plop plop. I've been this side since the, since the first motherfucking, I'm still trying to lose weight motherfucking 35 years old. I want to go back to my fuckable weight. Like sixth grade. Sixth grade.

Is that what you, that's not when you were starting though. No. What's the first, how old were you when you started? 12. When you started banging? Well, he was banging me. Yeah. Wasn't he like much older?

Yeah, he was 21, 22. Wow. He signed the kid birth certificate too. That's going to show you they don't give a fuck about the kids. Come on, bring your old ass here and sign this. Kind of birth certificate. Wow. Because he signed both kids birth certificate.

I had two kids. Oh shit. Yeah. And neither time, nobody questioned this old motherfucker who came in with his ID that said he was the oldest fuck who should have been the oldest brother, not the baby daddy and signed the birth certificate and kept on moving. But that's, that's time now because I was the 80s. I had the baby 86, 87.

You do that shit today. They going to drag your motherfucking ass. Right. I just saw a 12-year-old girl get pregnant about 20-some-year-old, 26-year-old man. They locked the mama and his ass up. Oh, shit. Yeah. And the mama too?

Mm-hmm. You know what really? Okay, I'm a teenage mama. This is when I really got jealous is when they started giving white girls a teen mom. What was my mother fucking TV shows? You dirty bastard. I was a mama before all of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

One thing that was crazy is that the first season, they were just all white girls too. Mm-hmm. Yeah. There was in a single and there was just white girls. White girls. But they said don't happen in the community. I'm like, excuse me, at least let me come in and motivate these bitches. I'm the original teen mom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they was just giving out TV shows. I'm like, what the fuck was my TV show? And they became celebrities. I couldn't even get away from that. Celebrities. They legit became celebrities too. Like they have, like they're on their eighth season of it, right?

Yeah, I watch now season of that bullshit. But Miss Pat, I mean, the fucking kind of shit that you got going on your career, I'd rather have your shit than that shit. That shit's a fleeting bullshit. That's before I got TV. Yeah, but now look at you. You did this through your skill. Yes. Right?

And your talent and hard work. That's before I knew I had a fucking ski. I was just looking to make some money. Wait, who pushed you? Who was like, wait a second, like you got it. You should probably try it. I just, I mean, people always tell me I'm finding a case worker. And, you know, I just got into it and I was like, uh-huh.

You said case worker? I had a case worker. Okay, got it. And I'm a convicted felon. And so it was so... For what, for what? For trafficking cocaine. Oh, okay.

Well, we're selling Craig. We don't do no cocaine. We're selling Craig. Yeah, yeah. So when I'm a convicted felon, it was so hard for me to get a fucking job. And comedy was easy money. It was almost like dope money, you know what I'm saying? You could just go and fucking do a show and make $100, five minutes, ten minutes or whatever.

Yeah. And I really just fell in love with it. And I just wanted to learn the technique of it. And everybody, you know, I'm a storyteller. Once you figure out what the fuck you doing up there, you kind of home in on it and then you just really bang it out. People don't realize it's fucking addicting. It's very addicting.

Right? Like the first time you kill, there's nothing like that on planet Earth. It's like, holy fuck, you get hard. I don't get a hard. Yeah, but my little dick got hard. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I just remember couldn't sleep that night because you're just thinking about the set.

That is not what happened to me. Whatever. The opposite. Whatever. My little dick didn't get hard. I am a girl. My clique didn't run. I mean, it is very addicting.

You know, when you go and you leave the stage and you know, you're done. Well, and you just want more, you know, it's almost like drugs. You just want more. Like even as a comic sometime, you might just find yourself going, send back in the back of the club just to breathe the atmosphere. Yeah, you just been around that because that's what you love to do. Yeah. In 1996, I was working at the comedy store in La Jolla and we were closing up and Dom

Marrera, you know, Dom Marrera, he was doing a show, like a corporate show. He stopped by the club and he sat in a circle in the showroom. There's no audience there and all the dormant and staff circled around him. And he's just told stories for like a couple of hours. And it was the most magical, mesmerizing thing because I'm like, I'm a kid from the suburbs. I don't know nobody from show business, but I also knew him from growing up watching him like, you know, HBO and shit.

And just to hear his shit and just to be a part of it, it was just so dreamy. You know what I'm saying? It's just like you never think that you can do it or meet those kind of people or be involved. And now it's like, oh, shit, I'm in the I'm at the gate. You know what I mean? I know how to walk in. You know what I mean? And it's like, it's like, there's nothing like it in the world.

After you kill, too, when people look at you differently in the showroom, right? Like you're out in the lobby getting a drink and people come up to you and they're just like, fuck. It's great. It's great. It's sad. Yeah. And like in normal life, people don't look at you like that.

You work at Starbucks or I used to work at a coffee shop. People would spit on you. Okay. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? All right. No, they wouldn't. They would spit right in your face.

And now it's like. Fuck dude. What coffee shop is this? Well, no, what fucking coffee shop is this? Do you look that weak, Babylon? God damn. I mean, you are Asian. We do think y'all know karate.

Because letting the motherfucker, you can't even say haha. God damn. You can't pretend. You just let my fucking spit on you. Yeah. Did you, did you grow up with Asians? No, no. Not until you guys came to our community.

Oh, we came to your community. Yeah. The beauty supply store. Oh. The grocery store. Oh, yeah. The grocery store. Were you ever friends with Asians growing up?

They didn't go to my school. No. When's your first time you became a friend with an Asian? You. You? 49 years later? Yeah. I'm trying to think.

No, no Asian. I'm not, Lord, I'm not being racist, but I really don't know no Asian. Okay. So let me just be honest then. Can I be honest? Yeah. When I grew up with, in the suburbs of San Diego, there was no black people. How many did you have in your school?

One and a half. I don't even know. Wow. I mean, the white dude was really 10. I don't know. Maybe, you know, he was black. There are some suburbs in San Diego that are super white. So white.

So it's like the only real like black friends I got was from comedy. Yeah. And then you just show up at a club and then like, you know, you see, the first guy I met was this kid named Karim, right, and he was this tall, he had a big fro. And he just came up to me and he goes, what's up, man? And then he gave me, he gave me a hug and I'm like, I couldn't believe it. I was like, it's just like in the movies. Then he spit on me.

Yeah. Right. I'm like, no, no. You know what I mean? And I try to do the like, I try to be like, you know, he gave me a hug. And when we departed, I was just like, like, you know, I did a thing with my body. Oh, wow. I couldn't believe it was like, I've been training there or something.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Goddamn body. And then you, and then, you know, I came to LA and then Martin Lawrence's road manager goes, hey, Martin wants you to, every time he plays the story, he just wants you to open. Right. So then it's like, I'm like in the green room with Martin Lawrence and all these guys and

I'm meeting everybody. And it was just like, it was just a magical fucking time, but also I didn't grow up with black people. So I'm just kind of learning culturally. What do you look at me like that for? No, I believe I don't know why, but you're looking at me like I'm going to say something like I'm going to cancel myself. I'm not going to let you cancel yourself.

I mean, I understand. I mean, I remember when Asians, Chinese people first started to come for hearing of them, which they took over the nail shop. Those are Asians, right? Yeah. Because, you know, you know, I just, I don't, I don't fucking want to say the wrong thing. But when they started to take over the nail shops in my community and they just started popping up everywhere and then we became popular and all the beauty supply stores came.

So they started coming to the community because at first they were coming to our community easily and now through the look of stores. We have more look of stores and churches than any fucking thing. So, you know, now they flood our community because for some reason, white America don't realize we spend the most money in this fucking country. Black people do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, that was my first interaction when they started to come in our community.

Yeah. Um, you grew up in Atlanta. Yeah, I grew up in Georgia. It was just what? Well, Alfredo. Oh, boy, shit. What? What?

Tell me, tell me about it. Well, I moved there. Richest fuck. No, no, no. I moved there 94. White, white, black farms. And this guy. That was it.

Yeah, but that's where all the money is. Now it is. No, bro, you grew up like I grew up. No, but the way you describe it, I didn't have a country club. Bitch, you probably had a country, you just didn't belong to the country club. Yeah, but you did. Was there golfing? There was golfing.

Why would you go bitch? Why did you? Why would you belong until your parents own on beauty supply stores? He's a tennis player. No, his cousin owns a beauty supply store. No, my, my, my, my, my, my parents own these clothing stores. Did they own a wig shop too? We own a wig shop.

Yeah, we're in that game as well. But then it's like we're in the wig game, bro. And we're good. It's up, doc. But then, but then, but I grew up, my parents, my parents were doing well in life. Yeah. So we grew up in like with a swimming pool, you know, me and white picket fans. Affluence.

Very affluent, right? Yeah. I see. Yeah. But then here's the thing though. What do your parents think about you? A butt ass naked. Like you pole.

You got to make fuck. What the fuck? But, but. Yeah. Is that your life? Miss Pat. Just listen. I'm surprised.

I ain't tired. Chicken feet. Fuck it. Chicken feet. But you don't be behind closed doors. Mm hmm. My dad used to beat the shit out with a golf club. I heard that fucking, I heard you tell that story.

Yeah. Oh, you, I don't know where I seen it. I said, I came across a story about your daddy beating you. You had me fucking holler. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

My mom, she knocked my mom's teeth out. He was a raging alcoholic. So yeah, we had affluence, right? I was molested. Okay. Not by my dad, but someone in the neighborhood. So there you may, you have your trauma and shit. Yeah.

Everybody got trauma. Everyone's got, no, I know some dudes though. I know some comics. They have nothing. They're not funny. That's true. They're not. Ain't nobody stuck no thumb up your ass in here.

Not funny. That's, that's, that's fucking. That's the latest. If you, if you look at a comic and they say, oh, my mother does my laundry, I'd be like, you please go rub a bank. It's the fuck off state. Nobody gives a fuck about your mama doing your laundry. You bitch.

Yeah. That's true. My mama does his laundry. Yeah. It's Asian mothering. Is it different? Oh yeah. They're very clingy and cookie and cook for you.

Yeah. Like even when you don't want it, like today, I didn't want her to just just roaming around like vacuuming when I don't want her to do anything. Like ma sit down, have a meal with us. She can't do it. She has to be doing something and it's always got to be in the cleaning department. Yeah. Can, can you sit her on my arm?

I will. Oh my God. It's like her favorite sport in life is cleaning even if people like that. Yeah. Yeah. It like brings her comfort or something or eat. Well, don't fuck with her comfort. Don't fuck with her comfort.

Loan your mother out. Well. Loan your mama out. We want her to be real comfortable. Can you, can you fly her to Indianapolis and keep your mama comfortable like a motherfucker? Did you move to Indianapolis? I live in Indianapolis. Oh.

Yeah. Oh, you like it there? Fuck no. Why, why are you there then? My husband works at General Motors. And so that's what he originally got me there, but I'm getting ready to move back to Atlanta. Back to Atlanta? Yeah.

So, you got a different thing? No. I can't do this. Oh. Oh. Care eating ass place. Fake titties. And now I can't do all of this shit.

Yeah. You got to be all these lunches y'all doing, all of these dreams maker, these dream killers and fake motherfuckers and everybody playing like they, opportunity is, I can't do that shit. These are worse than prostitutes. I know. Let me ask you something. I got the wrong attitude.

I'm like, get the fuck out of my face. You lying bitch. Yeah. Ms. Pat. Ms. Pat. Do you think that's, that's just the perception thing or do you think that's a real like, I understand that they're, just to hear me out, right? I understand people's like, feelings toward people.

They have the opinions about people in LA and they think it's like. She's talking about, she's not wrong about the industry. The industry is like that. Yeah, but it's like that. Let me argue this though. It's like that in any business. Like if you're, if you're climbing the corporate ladder in any corporation in like Atlanta or New York or whatever, right, depending on what it is, people backstab each other

and they climb to the top and they do lunches. It's like everybody here doing something. Everybody's in the opportunities. I mean, if you had a corporation and it says a hundred people, everybody ain't an opportunities. You got some real people just, it's like here, if you put 10 motherfuckers together in the business, nine of them will step on your head to get to the top. That's true. It's just, that's what I'm talking about.

You know, everybody, because everybody wants to be famous. Everybody can't be famous. Somebody got to sit at home and watch the other motherfuckers die. That's true. Okay. Yeah. Everybody can't be on TV. Everybody ain't got to tell them.

Yeah. But you can't tell these motherfuckers. They ain't got to tell them. It's social media now. I mean, I remember when I first started coming out to LA and I would see actors that could not make it standing on stage to do comedy. Why bitch? Why take up the space that you should not be in, if you don't get your stupid ass

off that stage, you probably ain't a good actor, but I know you're not a good comedian. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what really burns me. When I see a broke-ass actor trying to be a comedian, if you don't get the fuck out of all space when we already broke over here and got a, we need this little motherfucking stage time so somebody can take us on the road so we can buy a baloney sandwich. Yeah.

So fuck off that goddamn stage. I mean, I've just, they be like, oh, that person is an actor, but they're doing comedy. That's not a comedian. Yeah. Yeah, comedy, comedy, comedy come from tragedy, struggles, life issues and hard. It's got to be here. Yeah. If you ever do this shit for the money, you're never going to make it.

Yeah, but here's what, when I see, I see those motherfuckers all the time, right? I'm quite sure you do. That's why we live here. Yeah, but here's the thing. When I see them though. What you do? I know that what it takes to get to, you know what I mean, headline and get a fan based on that is you need to, they're not, I already know that they're not going to be able to

do the steps and the ability to get through all the gates to get to where we're at. So I just don't mind them. I get that they're stealing our stage time. I don't worry about them either. I just noticed. I'm like, here go this month. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. What? Tick. Tick. Yeah. Blood sucking motherfuckers. Stage sucking motherfuckers. They're tics.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I mean, and then six months later, they're not even doing it no more. Yeah. Or they just hang, you know, that's the shit I'm talking about. Yeah. But I'm glad. You know what?

I love about stand up. I mean, even the showbiz showbiz is in general, it's so hard. It's so fucking hard. It's so hard that like, honestly, I've been in the game, well, hello, over 25 years. I now feel like I think I'm making it. It took me this long before I would get, you know, I was on mad TV, but we didn't get paid a lot. We got like, you started off with $4,000 a week with taxes and your agents and everything.

You're making, you're on TV show, you're on TV show and you're making $2,000 a week. That everybody else think you're making a shit ton. Yeah. They think you are, but then you still have to get the clothes to look right and all that stuff. And you're I mean, and it's like, you're not making any money. I had to borrow money when I was on that show. But it's only now where I feel like, okay, I'm getting offers on shit.

When I go on the road, it sells out. Yeah. I see you. Yeah. And this isn't, you know, making me money. And, you know, and it's like, I bought this house. You know what I mean? So it's like, yeah, this has only been a couple of years since I could afford a house like

this. Yeah. Yes. I'm feeling it too. I mean, yeah, you're killing it now too. Well, I ain't killing it like you, but no, you are notice that, you know, my, my, my touring is starting to pick up, you know, um, I'm able to do shit. I wrote, I couldn't do two, three years ago.

Yeah. So, you know, it took five years to get this TV show out this, you know, I started out with Fox. I went through three writers on top of that, who lose shot the pilot and dropped it. And then BT plus picked it up. Oh, it took five fucking years to get 10 episodes. God. Yes.

And I bet you after everything that didn't work out, you were so bummed, but you didn't give up. No, you know what? I never felt like it wasn't going to happen. I just, you know, when you see the show, I'm not your typical mother. I'm a convicted felon in the show. Yeah. I'm mean.

I'm fucking mean. And, you know, where most shows you see where the mom hold the household down. Well, this, my husband holds the household down. He support the household where I go out and follow my dream as a comedian. Yeah. And that's my real fucking life. My husband is home with the kids while I'm out here trying to follow my dreams as a comedian and where I ended up today is because he was always there for me.

So I'm not your typical, I'm not your typical mama. I say what the fuck I want to say. I curse. We talk about real shit. Yeah. And, you know, it's no beating. We have conversation about race here. The pilot is about school shootings.

Oh, wow. Wow. The pilot? The pilot is about school shooting. You open with school shooting. Wow. I open with school shooting. Because we didn't, I mean, ain't y'all tired of PC, TV?

Yeah. I ain't y'all tired of turning on TV, going to church. Motherfucker, if I wanted to go to church, I'd go to church. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm tired of PC anything. I'm just tired of just, you can't say what you want to say. Yeah. Keep it around.

Everybody get mad. Whatever happens to the dead ones, you say, fuck you. And I mean it from the bottom of my heart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tell people all the time, kiss my ass from the front. Yeah. You know what show I loved? Wow.

All in the family. Yeah. And this show, I'm almost like an Archie Bonka. They want to say Roseanne because I'm a woman, but it's like Archie Bonka. We take on some, we had one episode about race. Yeah. Things you shouldn't say. And the word in the show that I brought up was Japslap.

You ever heard of that word? I like it. I don't know what it is. That's what my dad did to my mom. He's so funny. Japslap. No, you're so stupid. But so I grew up as a little girl and I'm just innocent.

I'm telling the story and I grew up as a little girl and we watched a lot of Kung Fu movie Bruce Lee. Everybody love Bruce Lee. Yeah. And my mom used to walk around and I said, I'm a Japslap, shit out of you, but, holy shit. I love it. But that's a derogatory terms against Asian people.

I didn't know that. To my husband say, that is racist shit. And I say, why? He said, because when Asians was in a concentration camp or something, that's what they did. Japslap them, hit them from the back, you know, with the back of their hand. And I'm like, well, I didn't know that shit. So when I did a derogatory episode, which is about niggle, honky cracker, we said all of these words.

Japslap. And sometimes Asians had just started getting beat on and the network lost their fucking mind. It's like, we got to remove Japslap. So we tried to come up with so many other words and they picked chinks. And I'm like, chinks is the worst shit that's worse than Japslap. That's the n-word. Thank you.

For Asians. But I was like, thank you. Everybody was like, they said, chink, don't teach me. Wow. Yeah. But it's all about, it's a teaching moment. You got my, you know, like when you, when you're a parent and you're used to, it's almost like what Matt Damon just said when he was saying the F word.

So that's the episode that I just shot where the kids come in and say, hey, you can't say that anymore. Well, motherfucker, why y'all keep changing this shit? Yeah, yeah. You know, it's almost like when you see an older white man who said collars. Yeah. Well, if that motherfucker been living in the country, he used to say in collars and that's what he just used to.

And if don't nobody correct him, then to me, that person is not racist. That person is ignorant. You have to put people in context with either the time or the area and their life experiences and their life experience exposed to, but yeah, but that's why I was never offended by Archie Bunker because I knew when I watched that character, I believed that character really existed. It was. What the fuck you mean?

Right. And he was authentic. He was very authentic. That's why white men loved him because he was the voice of that era. And what he was saying out loud was beginning to fade away for them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Because times, times was changing and you wasn't allowed to, at the time they could still say, but they knew that they was losing that opportunity to talk like that openly in public without, you know. But what I liked about Archie is that he would also learn though. Yeah. On the show and grow. And you knew that deep down inside, he's not a bad guy.

He's not a bad guy. Right. Right. He's just a guy that grew up in a time period. He's ignorant. Ignorant. That's right. And when an ethnic people person sees something like that in art or time.

or television and stuff, we get it. Well, you're gonna love this fucking shit. I can't wait. Because that's what this episode is about. Yeah, yeah, I can't wait. About the igniz of me, you know, I even did an episode on, I don't even know what they call them,

but them, Dan, Dan, Dan, there. Oh, the pronoun. Pronouns, yeah. My daughter brought a pronoun on my house. What's them, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan? Pronouns, they, them, there. She, he. Instead of she, her, he, him.

Yeah, they don't want to be called boy and girl. So they say they, them, Dan, there. So my daughter bring over this boy one day. Yeah. The boy to me, and he was like, I got pronouns. I'm like, you got a dick. You know what, facts though. But, you know, it was a teaching moment for me.

And I decided to bring that like real life experience, what it was to deal with a real child, who had a pronoun, who parents didn't want to accept that the changes this child was going through. And I brought it into an episode, which was true to my family. And it was fucking hilarious. Wow.

Yes, it's episode four of my daughter wrote the episode. She did, right? Yeah, my daughter wrote on the show. Wow. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. You know what I found fucked up though,

about that whole Matt Damon thing? It's because you know he was nice. Tell me, tell me about the Matt Damon thing. So Matt Damon comes out like, there was an interview, right? The interviewer basically recalled Matt Damon saying, you know, it was my daughter who taught me how to not use the F word. Yep.

Anymore. What F word? F-A-G. F-A-G. We're not saying that shit. Yeah. Right? I know that.

But. Sag it. Yeah. Yeah. And so. With the other F of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not me.

And then the daughter had like, you know, basically educated him on why, at any given point in time, that probably hurt someone's feelings, right? But then. The media turned on him. They turned on him, assuming that that's just, he was just using this word in his daily life, which wasn't the case.

But I'm just saying like, you can't do no right anymore. Like, everyone just finds the thing. It's the fucking media. And is everybody want a headline story? Yeah. Everybody want a headline story. And let me ask you this. Let me say this.

Matt Damon is at 40, 50-something years old. If he's using the word and he come out and tell you that it was a teaching moment for him, why couldn't it be a teaching moment for all of us? Why did we all, why did the media want to turn society on this man? Yeah. For trying to say, hey, it was a teaching moment for me.

Yeah. Because we all say shit in our fucking house. If you say you don't, you're a goddamn lie. If you white and say you don't say the n-word in your house, you're a lie. Because there are days I say crackle and white motherfucker and stuff like that. Japslap.

She's always saying Japslap. What? Always saying Japslap anymore. In fact, can you call me from now on at the club? At the club. Honestly, don't call me if I want to be called by Japslap. No, mother fucker. Please, please.

I'm Japslap now. Only when she brings you up. Yeah. And then give me a, can I have a nickname? Give me a nickname. I can call you. No, my name is Pat, bitch. You're not going to.

Let's play a little game. No. I'm Japslap and you are. My TV get canceled because you're going to write a joke. I'm not fucking with you. My name is Bobby Lee, motherfucker. If you choose to call yourself Japslap, that's on you. People just, I'll just be my stage name.

You identify. Yeah, but I'm not in Japan. You never heard of that. No. I've never heard of that. I'm Korean at course lab. That doesn't sound as good. That doesn't sound as good.

That sounds weird. Yeah, it doesn't rhyme. Yeah, it's a derogatory term. And when I brought it to the table to write about it, a lot of people hadn't heard of it. So that was the craze. I was like, because I'm like, what? I'm from Atlanta.

I'm from the South. So I was used wildly down there. And my husband was like, probably 10 years ago, he's like, that is racist as fuck. And then when he told him, I was like, oh my god. And so, you know, but it's like each one teach one. Like I used to tell people about a story. I didn't know shit about Jews.

And I ain't scared to say it. My brother stole a fucking DVD player. And the Holocaust movie was in there. I had never heard of the Holocaust. You know the Holocaust? Yeah, I knew what the fuck of the Holocaust is. Prove it. So I'm being honest.

I had told this on Oregon. You didn't know what the fuck the Holocaust was? I dropped out in school at Ave. Cray. The Holocaust, though. But excuse me, black people don't know who to fuck. I mean, most white people don't know who the fuck Malcolm X is. That's true.

That's a good point. Do you? Yeah, I do know who Malcolm X is. OK, thank you. God. Yeah, how about Mega Evers? Of course I do. Maggie died.

Got killed. Oh, you can say that about every name. You really could. You could, you could. Say another name. Fuck is you talking about? He died, like I was saying. Yeah, you know your black history.

Also, Bob Dylan wrote a song about him. But. Do you know who Bob Dylan is? Yeah, I know who Bob Dylan is. So I tell this story. I tell my husband, come over. My brother stole the DVD player. I mean, not a DVD or laser this.

They were really popular. And it was the Holocaust was in. It was at Schindler's List. It was Schindler's List. Never heard of Schindler's List. But we played it. And it was right when Hitler was up there just shooting the Jews. And I was like, what the fuck is wrong with you white people?

Jump that fist, nigga run. That's what black people do, get the fuck out when you shoot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when I meet my husband, we know he come on my house and I say, hey, you want to see this crazy ass move out. The white people getting killed. And it was the Schindler's List. No context.

White people. You know who Schindler is? Well, let me tell you, I'm telling you, it's a teaching moment. I'm trying to give you. My husband sent me down and said, this is a true story. I said, who fucking story? He said the Jews. And I said, only one Jew.

That's Jesus. And he said, what the fuck is wrong with you? Facts. And I was like, it's a lot of him. He was like, fuck yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. And I was so fucking stupid.

That is hilarious. But it's a hilarious fucking story. But I was ignorant and he let me know. And I went to start to Google and I was like, oh my god, this shit is fucking real. But they didn't teach me that in school. I dropped out of eighth grade anyway, but I had never fucking heard of it. Yeah. So it was a teaching moment for me.

That's how I learned what chandeliers were and I learned what the holocausts were. I didn't, I never heard of the fucking holocausts before. We stole that DVD. Thank God my brother Steve. I'd have been a Negro with no education on the holocaust. That is so fucking funny. Holy shit. Yeah.

But now you know. Well, that documentary that we saw yesterday was about some dude in one of the holocaust like concentration camps that was like cutting bitches off with a sword. No, so people are in line, Jews, right, in line to go into the fucking gas chamber. They're going to die anyway. This motherfucking guard, before they even enter the fucking gate, would just cut off their titties with a sword. And then he secretly moves to America and works at the Ford, Ford.

Motor factory. Yeah, motor factory for 20 years. Just no one knows anything about his ass. He has a family. He is beloved by his coworkers. And then when they were like prosecuting like war criminals back in the 80s, they were like, they were like, oh, that's the dude. That's Ivan the Terrible.

Count a woman did he marry a white lady? Yeah, just a white lady and his kids defended him. And they were like, we love our dad. He's nothing, but he's been nothing. He like, he fixes our bikes for us. Like, his community loved him. It was crazy. Like, nobody knew.

But you didn't see the documentary. You don't know. But then they claim like, you don't know what happens at the end. I didn't watch the last. Yeah, but you can't claim that he's the guy. OK, you're right. I don't know. What was he together? Well, she wants to finish it.

Can I tell you she wants to finish? She didn't finish. You fell a fucking thing. No way to fucking tell it. No, tell Miss Pat. Spoiler alert. He wasn't the guy, but he did work in three concentration camps. So he didn't do the titty thing.

Right. Hearing it all. It's OK. What? Go ahead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good thing. He didn't do the titty thing.

Yeah, right. But he still was like, get back in line. Right. And they're like, who identified him? Well, so when you see what here's that the way you don't get America knew this, they brought in a bunch of ex-Nazis into America because they let them blend in with the people who needed help.

Yeah. But some of these Nazis were good at like, you know, building bombs or they had a certain skill set. So they're like, come on in and we'll just change your name to John Smith. Yeah. I'm John Smith. Yeah, and then you're John Smith.

And then they're like building shit. You know what I mean? That's why he was so good at Ford. Yeah. I loved him. And they used these ex-Nazis at Ford because they wouldn't complain. They would work 16 hours.

And then during their break, they would just sit there and just eat a carrot, right? And then they would go back to work. And then they would just disappear, show up on time, diligent, you know what I mean? So they loved them, you know? But a lot of them were fucking murderers, man. Wow.

I saw one was he was an ex. He was killing people, too. And he came over here and he turned into a priest. And some of the survivors was, I don't know, what was going on, but one of them identified him. Yeah. Because you can't, I'm quite sure if you was in no situation, those faces was ingrained in your fucking,

you was never going to figure those fucking faces. You see it in your sleep, probably. Yeah, you was never going to figure those fucking faces. But back to that, it was a teaching moment. And we did an episode on that as a teaching moment, you know, to say, you just can't cancel people when they don't know. Yeah.

At a teaching moment, when they make their first fucking mistake. What do you think of the whole DaBaby controversy? Have you heard about that one? Yeah, I'm black. You got them right I heard about it. What's a DaBaby? DaBaby's a rapper.

DaBaby's a rapper, he stood up and said, if you ain't sucking dick in the car with HIV or some shit like that, I think he was, got beside himself. He forgot, white people pay him. No, but he said that, he said something about it. Did he get dropped from a lot of festivals afterwards? Yes, he did. He's still getting dropped today.

What did he say though? So he was one of his shows, and then he was just. We said, where have you found him in the app? You ain't got HIV. And you suck dick in the car in the parking lot. It was at one of his shows. After he finished. This is white cross going me.

No, then everybody go, you about to be canceled. You about to lose your job. And then at first he doubled down, didn't apologize. But then Ms. Pat was saying, like he forgot what people were paying him. And now he's doubling down, but it's a little too late. So he going to have to become friends with Lil Nas. And Lil Nas want to welcome back into the business.

Oh, man. That's what's going on. I fucking love Lil Nas. I am a Lil Nas fan. Lil Nas said, take me as I am, or fuck off. I love you, Lil Nas. I went to the BET Awards, right? And Lil Nas came in with a fucking dress on,

and shit, oh, the real bitch is down. I was like, ooh, I need to get my body fixed. This nigga is going. Cute, sexy boy. Yes, he's gorgeous. He was nice. And he had on some fucking Herman and Monster shoes with the dress.

He was drop dead fucking gorgeous. I mean, I was like, you making the real bitches look bad, Lil Nas. He was good looking. Yeah, he's a good looking kid. Were you in Atlanta growing up there when they had the Green River killer? We never had the Green River killer.

That's the wrong say. We had Wayne Williams. That was the black guy that dressed up as a cop and killed the little black kid. That was for mind hunters. His name is not Green River. No, his name is Wayne William. That's him, that's him, that's him.

He's never dressed up as a cop. And it wasn't Wayne William. It was really the Ku Klux Klan's who was killing those black boys. But they had to frame someone. Go do your history. No, no, no, stop, stop, stop, stop. They got the guy.

Yeah, they always going to frame a nigga. Come on, dude. Oh, so you're saying to me, this is why? If somebody running around chopping off Asian people titties, and they sound like it's some Asian shit in your community, they're probably going to grab you, Bobby Lee, and say you did it. Right.

You're frameable. You should be careful. Yeah, you're right. So what you're telling me right now is that the Ku Klux. As a black community, do not believe that Wayne William killed all those little boys. We truly believe that the Ku Klux Klan's white people did it. Wow, that's the first time I've ever heard of that.

We don't think he did it. I mean, honestly, if you look at that documentary, my mama didn't make the documentary. But when they put the curfew in place in Atlanta, Georgia, back in those days. So all for the black community, your kids had to be inside of being an adult. My mama, my brother and sister,

is the first people who brought the curfew. And we working one day in the news papers all around our house. My mama out there lying her ass off on the news. No, really? Oh, wow. You guys were on the news. So what you're saying is that he, because from the documentary, he was telling kids that he was a record producer or whatever.

He was a record producer. Yeah, he was a record producer. But he didn't kill him. He didn't kill him. No. I mean, think about it. You killed some of those people who was big in him. How the fuck are you going to drag him and throw him over

in the river by himself? Right. That man was your side, Bobby Lee. I'm pretty big for my son. No, you're not. If you killed me, you can't pick me up without chopping me and fuck up. Oh, right.

That's true. Yeah. If we were having sex, you couldn't even lift my teddy, Bobby Lee. You just see. I couldn't pull it with both hands, one teddy. No. Can you imagine?

Can you imagine him with my legs in the air? Oh, my god. Could you imagine Ms. Pat and I in a sex scene? Exactly. It would be so funny. Dramatic. No, it would be horrible. You'd be a tampon.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that would be a great, if we ever write a show, we got to do a sex scene with them. No, I'm not doing a fucking sex scene with them. Why? I'm married, first of all. No, it's acting. I don't, you're not getting on top of me.

Because it's going to look like you. You get on top of me. You get on top of me. I'm a bother. Thank you. And then now I'm in here for killing you. Asian hate? Yeah, Asian hate.

Hey, Cron. Don't say no until you read the script. OK. And you see the money. You see the money. Well, I would do a sex scene with you if they put a double dummy in the bed. Oh.

All right. So wide shots will put a dummy. But close-ups, how can we go down? Nobody. Close-ups, we've got to. We're not going to really talk and stuff like that. No, we're not going to do a motherfucking thing. Why?

I'm gentle. Bobby, I'm not your type. And you're definitely not my type, your egg weak, OK? If you want some black pussy, you need to go buy you some. I get naked. You will know what if I like it. I've seen your dick. It's not going to work.

The logistics, just. This brings to another question, OK? It's like, you know, before I met Khalilah, you know, I wanted to, you know, hook up. A big dick. No. Oh, I'm sorry. He had a couple crushes on some black women

who didn't show interest in him. And I couldn't get black women to be interested in me. So could you suggest certain things that I could do to like up my games? Well, black women are just really starting to step outside of the black man. Like black men have always dated Asians and whites and other women.

But black women has like really been loyal to the black man. So they just beginning. I mean, they've always, it's always been an interracial couple, but allowing their self to date people that don't look like them. Because I never did Asia. I never did a white man.

That's just that's the mentality that we had. Yeah. You know, I just I deal with the motherfucking brother before I go outside my race. Yeah, now they're starting to. Yeah, I could I could see it sometimes on the show. Like if I do stand up and I'll see a couple, I'll see like a beautiful black girl with an Asian dude.

Yeah, I'm just like, wow, I missed it. I was like a 30. I was born three years too late, I think. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's interesting. But I mean, people people stop it. I think the world is just changing where it's not

about race, it's about the individual. Love don't have a color. Yeah. You know, where white people are like, keep it white so you could be pure and white women like, no, keep it whatever. There's got a big dick. It's going to make me feel bad.

So they started stepping out real early. It is because you and I are the same exact age. I'm 49. You're 49 as well. And it's like you and I grew up in the same time period. Like we grew up during OJ and all, you know, all that shit. Right. But it's just it's interesting like that because the times are

changing so fast. And I feel like in different ways, you and I are just trying to catch up and learn because you're learning about all this new shit. Right. Yeah. And it's like so much to learn. And I feel like there's going to be a lot more to learn

in the next 10 years as well. But it's like I think generations before me didn't want to learn. Yeah. Right. I think because you and I are in entertainment, we're in social media. I think I think kids today was like, I don't give a fuck what color you as I just want to fucking get high.

Yeah. So that's, you know, I just want to make a TikTok video. I just want to do this. They don't give a fuck. They really don't. Yeah. It's the grandparents and the parents that, you know, I mean, look at look at white girls.

They be saying, oh, oh, look at look at white girls. The first thing they do is they get out of the house and go buck wild. They go with black people, Asian people, white people. The daddy be out over there picking his hat his fucking head. Yeah. She's curious because you like, don't do it. Well, if you constantly tell somebody don't do that.

Well, let me go try this. Why you keep saying don't do this? What is he hiding from me? Yeah. I need to stick my motherfucking mouth in this cookie jar. And that's what the white girl do. Look daddy, I brought home a Negro.

Look daddy, I brought home a Chinese. Look daddy, I brought home a blind cat. Yeah. You've never hooked up with a white dude? I've never dated outside my race. Not one time. First of all, by the way. You never touched a white dick?

I've touched a white dick, jacked it for some wrestling ass cheeky. What the fuck? Wait, what's the story? Wait, wait, wait. Poor old ticket? You wouldn't see a white rescue? I used to like wrestling.

This man used to buy a pussy from my sister. He came through the neighborhood. She wasn't there. So he had me to jack a dick or watch him jack a dick. And he give me some money. And he jacked a dick and I bought me a wrestling ass cheeky. And then one time I went to the hotel and jacked a man dick for $100.

Really? Yeah, he thought, yo, yeah. That's the only time I was fucking with a white dick. But I mean. What's your face like, would you just roll your eyes back? I was 11. Oh. Oh, story got up.

Fuck you. I got me some popcorn for a road ticket. I did not think about that dick I had just jacked. Wow. Shit. I was down there with the white folks that night at the wrestling match. What an incredible life you've had.

Interesting. But you've lived, you know, I'm in AA. I mean, alcoholics and all. I'm sober. You do the chip shit? Yeah, I do the chip shit. I do all that shit. And it's like.

My sister do too. I took my sister's crack head. So I took her to a comedy show one day. And this is when I realized people in AA is fucking crazy. Not people, but my sister. She was doing it just to get the chips, not really to get out dope. Oh.

Oh. Oh. So I was at a comedy show one night. To crazy. Anybody celebrating anything? My sister said, yeah, I've been off crack for four days. That's a bitch. You don't say shit.

You don't say shit. That's hilarious. But you just ain't got your own security check. Set your ass down. You ain't clean. Yeah, but in AA, they say, you know, you get sober to have a big life, right? And I just feel like you've had a really big life.

You've had children. You've had, you mean, just the stories that you're selling drugs to fucking some of the sexual shit that you went in early. Is it true that your name, they called you Rabbit? Yeah, that's the name of my book. Why did they call you Rabbit? That was my drug.

It was my nickname. And then it became my drug dealing name. It almost became my stand-up name. And I was like, nah. So the kids in my neighborhood call me Ms. Pat. So I went with Ms. Pat. Can I call you Rabbit? Nah.

I'm too old to be having a nickname. OK, Ms. Pat. Yeah, OK, fine. I ain't calling you Squirrel, put that out. But you've had a great life, and it's just like, I'm just so happy, though, the show. I think it's going to be from what I hear. Where is it at?

It's Ms. Pat, where? BT, BT. It's BT Plus. Plus, BT Plus. So you can watch that on TV, or can you stream the shit, too? It's streaming. BT Plus, BT Plus have an app like Netflix. It's a new streaming service.

It's been around about 18 months. But they have some great shows on there. They have some good original. They show a lot of black shows, because they're only 18 months. So I don't even think they got 40 original shows yet, because they're such a brand new network. But it comes out August the 12th. All 10 episodes drop at the same time.

It's a lead day in your Brian Gray's and Ron Howard production. Oh, wow. So it is a great show on a brand new platform that's been very supportive of what I do. Have you met Brian Grazer? Fuck yeah, many times. He's a fucking heavyweight. He is?

He's, dude, Brian Grazer and Ron Howard are one of the biggest guys in Hollywood. I know. I know. Run Houses is a sweet thing. Oh, you met him, too? Yeah, I met Ron Howard. These are legends, people you're working with.

Yeah. Ms. Pat, you're working with the elite. I know. I started off with the elite. Yeah, yeah. It's fucking amazing. But what I like about the show, it seems like they're letting you do whatever the fuck you want to do.

Like you're calling the shots. Well, you know, you always going to have people with the pushback. But they allow me to be me. They know the product that they bought. I'm not watered down. I'm not. You will look at this show and say, that's Ms. Pat. Wow.

They're not. Nothing is coming out of my mouth that wouldn't regularly come out of my mouth. I am that person in your family that say what the fuck they want to say. Yeah. I mean, every moment is about something. And we use grown people laying because it's just show tighter a grown folks sitcom because we're cursing.

I mean, we're cursing motherfuckers on bitch, nigga, all kind of shit. But it's not out of content. We're talking about something each and every episode. Yeah. That's amazing. Everyone listening right now. Bt plus listen to download. Get fucking Bt plus and fucking watch that shit.

August 12. August 12. I'll tell you this come out. Oh, I think just after. Yeah, that's what we do. When you're listening to do it now. Yeah, go right now. Go right on.

I need you like Bobby Lee need dick. Hey, I did. All right. I need you at the end of our show, we do what we call unhelpful advice. People email us with a question or problem they're going through. So we can either help them or not, whatever. But go ahead and do it. Unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalilah and this pad.

Oh, shit. Hello, my name is Kirk and I live in Portland. Back in November of 2019, I was told I had erectile cancer. I've been sick. Wait, rectal rectal in the asshole. Anis cancer rectum, baby. OK, go ahead. I've been sick and on with treatments and one poise a lot.

At one point, I lost 30 pounds and was skinny as a stick. I'm still going through this journey. I'm starting to get at the end of my rope as in treatments. Do you have any advice for me to have hope? How old is he? He is third. Oh, no age. Oh, OK.

But Miss Pat, how does he find hope when all is lost? Um, fuck you laughing at Bobby. I don't know. Sad. That was what you want. I'm just like laughs when he's uncomfortable. Oh, I mean, I just think you just you got to surround yourself with positive shit.

You got to laugh. You cannot be thinking about what's going on in your ass. You just got to fucking you got to make yourself happy. I truly believe laughter heals you. Yeah. I mean, when you can relieve the body of stress, stress will give you a stroke or to give you a heart attack. You can't control what's going on.

That's the universe. That's the doctor. All you can do is just try to live. So hell, put on you a CD or some comedy. Go and Google Bobby, leave naked. Download B.T. Plus download B.T. Plus and watch all 10 episodes August 12th.

Get it right. Yeah, I mean, start start surrounding yourself with positive shit. You know, you can't you and nothing you can do. All you can do is heal the body to me by providing positive stuff to it. Yeah. But if you sit there and rur, you're just going to add to what's already going on. That's what I believe. Can I ask about erect erectile?

What is it? Rectal. And erectile. He wish it was rectile. Rectal rectal cancer. Yeah, asshole. Did they take out the ass? Is it chemo or do they do surgery?

The rectum is at the very end of a colon. I know. Mine's not in the deep end. Well, it's likely that you get you get what you call like a resection. Oh, you're a nurse, right? Yes, the nurse. Yeah, so they'll take out certain portions of the disease tract of the colon or if it's higher than that.

Like I have a friend where she no longer has her lower intestines. Yeah, he has a pouch and they had erectile too. No, she had Crohn's a little different, but similar. It's it's similar in the sense that you do have to take out a large part of your intestine and she has a Barbie button now, so they had to sew her butt shut because she no longer has a use for it. So but as I answer your question, you just cut out. No, no, no.

They sewed a butt for to keep it from leaking? I'm not sure. They call it a Barbie butt. But it's basically because there's no use for it. Well, let me say this. Even the gas. But your asshole itch sometimes. Well, fuck.

Not this one. What do you mean your asshole itches? You know, your asshole don't ever itch. My asshole itch a lot. Mine does. Mine always itches. But does it itch because it's not sewn shut? Oh, it might be a little dirty.

But maybe you don't wipe well. Yeah. If you don't wipe well. You wipe well? Well, my arms are short. A lot of shit there. Yeah. But what I'm saying is that like if this kid, right, he's had some sort of

surgery, so let's suppose we were him and I were lovers. What? And I didn't just let hear me out. We were lovers, right? How would you say that to a cancer patient? That's true. OK, let's say I was a woman. He's trying to look for hope.

I know I'm not too fucking him in the butt. That's not where I'm going. OK, well, that's not where I'm going. All right, that's not where I'm going. I listen. That's not where I'm going. Let's just hear him love. Let's say I'm let's say I'm like a woman, right?

I'm dating this guy. He doesn't tell me about, you know, me, his, his, right? And he's like bending over naked. Would I be able to tell that he had? No. No, you think a hole is back there? Well, you think he got a bullet or a fucking door? He thinks that shit hangs out from his asshole and spells cancer.

Now, if if if if that's all I'm asking. So here's the point. Here's here. I will tell you that if the tumor, if there all I saw was a black hole, I'm like, do you think the asshole turned into a pussy? No, no, no, no, I'm just saying. You're not wrong in the sense that if let's say there was a mass or a tumor in that area that was not removed.

Yes, you would see a tumor in that area. All right. So could he do this? I forget it. I'm not going to say it. Yeah, because I'm about to say I know I'm going to get attacked. Go ahead. I will say he says Tiger belly makes me smile all the time. I love your comedy. So maybe you could continue with these.

You know, you're almost 50. You know what you're due for, right? Oh, oh, oh, I just had one. How was it? How was it? How was the prep? She. Yeah, because I think I was just telling somebody else this. I think they left. I don't think they empty me really well.

So, you know, my asshole was wet. Yeah. It leaves you really wet. Yeah. And it was like I felt a little like he instead of going up in there easy, yeah, I can feel when he joked the thing in my asshole, maybe it was too tight. Juked, juked, you know, like, like so I woke up and I was like, oh, my asshole burning. Yeah. So I don't think he treated me too good. It doesn't seem like.

But since you're a nurse, let me ask you something. Yeah. So I have hot flashes, right? Yeah. Because I'm almost 50. So they used to be in between my titties. Yeah. But lately they've been in my asshole. You've got this right. Look, I don't know too much about like the variety of hot flashes. Yeah, why are they in my ass fucking up my panty line?

Because I know that my mom, when she became a menopausal, she had some weird shit in the weirdest places, too. I don't know what the reason for that is, but my friend told me her aunt had met. This is a true story. She told me this yesterday. They was from New York. She said her aunt had met up.

I mean, hot flashes so bad, so fucking bad that she would just get naked at the house of her underwear. And one day she was just sitting the one to try to get air and she fell out the one and die. What the fuck? Are we laughing so much? What are you laughing at? It's terrible. What are you laughing at?

They found her. What are you laughing at? She fell four stores. They found her in her drawers. I told my friend, bitch, tell me this ain't real. It's real. Whatever her aunt named fell out the wonder because she was trying to cool off. I was like, I'm not letting my half-nature kill me.

Oh, damn. That's crazy. What's a hot flash? You get really heated. Really? Do you know what menopause is? Nah. When you push it back to dry up, I call it.

Your mom had early onset menopause. His mom had menopause at 37. Yeah, my friendy too. But it's basically, you know, longer get your periods, your estrogen level drops in your body, your testosterone creeps up a little bit. So we just have these like a set of symptoms that is really uncomfortable, especially if you're like early menopause. You start to sweat.

You start to have weird mood swings. Just the whole thing, the whole, whole thing. Eventually it evens out. So dudes don't get hot flashes. No, y'all go through mid-life crisis and dump old bitches and get young bitches and fuck up your family by a corvette. Your hair fall out. Your dick start working.

Your bad pussy. That's what y'all do. Dallas all day? Yeah. So I would probably have one soon then if I was going to have a mid-life process. Oh, you're going to have one. You think so? I think when your dick stops working, you're going to have some kind of crisis.

Yeah. Because you've had a lot of fun with that thing. Ah. Oh yeah. Good times. Good times. You guys do not look like a couple. Eight years.

Eight years, man. Eight years, man. I mean, I don't want to be rude because I'm in your house, but she's so out of your league. Oh, it's good. Oh, God. Ms. Pat. Ms. Pat. Ms. Pat.

Ms. Pat. I grew up in a really fucked up family. I know. And you got a fucked up man. Fucked up. Ms. Pat. I am high. This is a basketball player chick.

I know. And I want, when I see basketball players with these girls, I go, I want that too. I have that too. Yeah. I don't think she woke up yet. Still the Matrix. I know. I know.

She is so pretty. I've always been a hot chick. You know, I'm not trying to be rude. I'm just being honest. No, that's, I love it. I expect you with a fat Asian chick. A fat Asian chick. Oh.

I know. That's what, I mean, when I walked in, I was like, oh, that must be his assistant. No. I had two of them. I have that too though. But, and I'm like, you, and I'm thinking, you let him fuck you? It's my girl. Yeah, I know.

I know. If you dig a little deeper, you'll know how it makes sense. He's a good person. Well, no, like I, our upbringing was so similar, so chaotic. Yeah. I mean, opposite attract. Yeah. And definitely opposite.

She's beautiful. And I think that's exactly right. In fact, when I saw her. I see him in the club all the time and I would say, who fucking him? Bro. He talks about either way. He talked about Jordan. I know.

And that just feels good. I love this. You know what I mean? You're beautiful. You should love it too. You piece of shit. And fuck you. You know what I mean?

This Pat, I swear to God, honestly, anytime you need to promote anything, you come to this place. I will. The audience is going to love you and they're going to support you. And this was a blessing. I've never laughed so hard. I've never laughed so hard. We've done this show.

I've never laughed so hard. We've done 305 episodes. Yeah. We've had heavy weights. Big people on the show, right? You are the funniest. Oh, wow. Out of everyone we've had, you've made me laugh the most.

Wow. And you know, she's beautiful. I mean, I don't know. He thinks he's pretty fast. Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah. Let it go.

But you know what? Y'all have a beautiful baby. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. I mean, if she can get that pussy back on track. Listen, I don't know. This is quarantine, Bobby.

If I wanted to look, I would look okay. Bobby, I've been to Canada with you. I've seen you dress up. That's you, Bobby. You ain't like you. You ain't like you get dressed up like a black past. I've seen you out. Fuck you, me, quarantine, Bobby.

That's you. Yeah, like he dressed up. Now I will say your hair grew out. You and this bitch look like Mr. Meiah. That's about it. Give her a round of applause. She was fucking great. Thank you.

Thank you. August 12th, BET Plus. And Ms. Pat, where can we find the pat down your podcast? On all platforms. Spotify right next to y'all. Shit everywhere. Check it out. iTunes.

Check out my podcast. Alright, oh my God, that was great. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Barely Ad Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to Ad Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com.