TigerBelly - Ep 312: Bobby's Problems With Gareth Reynolds and The Dollop

Episode Date: September 1, 2021

Gareth is Giovanni Ribisi with better legs. Bobby is JR. Khalyla starts an Only Fans! We talk Vegas weekend gay, living the Big Life, Eric Griffin's bad TV recommendations, the Real Wedding Crashers, and a 4-woman party package. Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery plus. I already apologize for my legs to the room, but I'll do it You knew he was gonna attack your legs. Well, I've already it but that's the upfront one now I'm like watching the what's the back surprise one. I like you honestly I will say that you have average the beautiful calves. Thank you. Not too big key word is average Well, I mean, but beautiful followed it. So it's yeah, I don't mind that quality Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're caught up on the average word Your legs have and I'm not making fun of you at all because yours way better than mine No, you have pretty good. Oh, those are legs. Yeah, your product is way better than mine

But what I'm gonna say with yours is is that it's got a little which I like about it It has a pink overtown to it. Well, and if you look closely, thank first of all, thank you I don't mean to just raise over that like it's nothing Um, yeah, it's also good for bruises. It's trans. It'll show a bruise really well, right like so are you anemic? I don't know, but probably, you know, if you're a woman though What I would what I like about you is is that he has a leg guy of no, but because of your legs I if you're a woman you would have bright pink nipples, I think

And as a woman I'll say that's most likely. Yeah, what is your nipples right now pink or is it tan they're pink? Yeah, so that's what the vibe is for me. I don't even have to see you cat dicks Oh, you have two cat dicks up there. Yeah Cat dick size nipples. Yeah. Yeah color of cat dick. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Do you have cats? I have one cat Oh, so you know that they have barbed dicks. Is your are your nipples barbed? I don't believe that. I think that's where the differences start Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah as barbed as a cat. Let's get clear. What's barb mean? Well, it means that if there if there is you know, it's between two cats the barb ensures that the penis stays locked in

I wish I would love a barb. I would love a barb myself one or two. I don't need Yeah, yeah, I'm a slippery fucker. I would love Inside there. Yeah, they're like carabiners. Yeah. Yeah, I would love to get hooked little anchor. What is this? That's a barbed D. Oh, I I'm starting to see a lot of differences between what I said in the cat That obviously looks like a game of Thrones to me. Yeah, that thing looks lethal. That looks like the thing that digs to the center of the earth Oh, right or the core of the movie the core. Yeah, you see the movie the core. I haven't but I feel at least watch it I'm Bobby. It's one of the most

Not a Stanley Tucci fan, huh? I love the two. Yeah. Yeah, I don't love his CNN thing. That's oh, you don't know Yeah, I refuse to watch it like a water downboard. Yeah, just act. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, you're a great actor. Just eat feta cheese pizza Yeah, yeah, so on Gareth Reynolds. Let me We'll start we're gonna keep all that stuff in but um, let me start the program Okay, and then don't say anything and to say and say your name. What is your podcast called again? Am I allowed to answer that? Yeah, you can it's called the dollop a big one It's the dollops me around for I know how do you not know that? I'm not it's it's yes It's fine. Let's not get because I think this I don't even think I'm supposed to be talking

I think this is what my problem with you is. Oh boy the dollop Really? That's the problem. Yeah, I mean no, it's a big sticky Just thinking what it's gonna be like can't take yeah, yeah, so it's like that so um anyway begin Five four three two one and welcome to the another episode of tiger belly. I'm your host Bobby Lee Junior people don't realize that but my dad's name is Bobby and I'm a junior And people never realize that no one calls me gr. No one calls me junior. Your dad goes by Robert, right? Yeah, but still I'm my name is Robert as well I've seen your passport and birth certs and it's Bobby. Yeah

Okay You've seen him. I I am the holder and keeper of all important information in your life. Okay, so I'm wrong about that I'm not a junior. Yeah, but I thought Robert and Bobby was you don't have a J or an R Is Robert and Bobby not the same thing? They are but once like it's like Richard and Dick, right? But what's on your birth cert birth cert? Yeah, I think but it's I think it's the Koreanism that fucked it up because my dad didn't know Like I think my dad wanted a junior, but he doesn't know because he's Korean rules He's like, oh just to put Bobby on the birth certificate, right? It's the same thing. He's in his mind So can we just but anyway?

Really bones me out that I'm blowing. It's mind blowing here. All right, so we've got psoriasis I mean, I told Bobby my psoriasis. Oh, he walked up like it was the hot zone. It was like She should he come in. I mean, it's like You had been pimples and dots all over your body. What the fuck my mom I think my mom came into town last week. Yeah, I think my stress levels of her being around. Yeah But you got bags in your eyes, too. Like you haven't slept. It's all dry. Oh, that's what it is. Yeah, I think you look great Gil, I think you look baby. That was the most unbelievable thing also. I think you look great. Yeah. Yeah, just be fucking I don't think it's you're looking your best, but you still look great. That's what I'm saying

I'd rather you say look like shit. You look okay to me. Oh That feel good. That's I feel good. Is that a lie? It is. Oh, yeah. Anyway, we got we we George Yeah, he's doing great his dad his kids great. He says he's doing side-to-sides. What is it? Roller background backwards. That's what we call milestones milestones this next Our guests today. I have a problem with and I can't wait to hear this guy talk to you and When he walked up the driveway, I was like, I have a problem with you and he's like, what's going on? I go

I have to save it for the For the podcast, but it's not a problem that he's aware of and it's not even a problem that anyone did, right? It's just something that I say ask myself what happened. So can I just tell you? Oh, yeah All right, so let's just so that so that you can talk. Yes. He's the host of a very popular podcast called the dollop Gareth Reynolds give him a round of applause So now you may talk good evening. Good evening to you. Good evening, everybody. It's been hard for me to sit here for a while Gail, sorry about the elbows. Yeah, great way to show your mother that he's fucking you up Yeah, and then congratulations on the sides of side

So hard to do yeah, yeah, but and I'm sorry to hear about not being a junior that was quite a rollercoaster Yeah, that was a rollercoaster up and down. Let's get to the reels. Thank you Let me ask you a question. Sure. When did we first meet? Well, I actually was thinking you do you remit? Do you have an answer to this? I do have an answer Okay, this is when I if you have an answer. I do have an answer. Yeah, this I can't believe the beef goes back long I Think the first time I met you was when I was shooting the hit TV show the real wedding crashers, which was I here they turned into a movie. I

Think that was the order in Vegas and I think what I remember is that I got nice and drunk and Then I think I saw you the next day and I was like man last night was so fun I mean we were so drunk and you're like I don't drink Yeah, and I was like, oh wow like I saw your pubes. How do you know? Yeah, yeah, but that it was in Las Vegas. I remember that as well. Yes, Las Vegas Yes, and my recollection is that the right word recollection of that weekend? What was a positive one? Yes, right where I'm like all this you had poofy your hair then

Thank you long get right. Yeah, like a long well They made you grow your hair to cover the ear pieces But then we really adhered to that except for me and I looked like I looked absolutely insane Yeah, and Steve Byrne probably just looked like a CIA agent like he always looked. Yeah, exactly, right So we had and Ben Glee was there as well Yeah, were you there with him and I played ping pong played ping pong in his room on his little right able that had And I won. Do you remember that? I don't remember Yeah, I beat everybody I just

I beat everybody we're same paging on everything else. That's all right. All right. So all right, so So that's where my problem Start Wow, right. So it's like we we get Brad from Vegas. I go I met a new guy So then what happened was in the next couple of years after that, right? I would see you in the belly room Right, you do spots up there rarely rarely, but that sometimes I would see you up there. Yeah, and there was no Interaction at all Okay, when you and I well, let me say that first of all Bobby It's if you're you you maybe don't understand. You're an iconic person and when I go here we go when I go this fucking bullshit

Right, yeah, yeah junior when I would go Store like I would go there so Irregularly yeah, I would feel like a little weird already being there Uh-huh, and then I also felt like I'm one of those people who like I am intimidated by people I'm even friends with at times like if my friends like I've had friends who've gotten very successful And I'll be like they don't want to talk to me. All right And so if anything it would just be me being like because I do like I really we had a great time We also hung out a couple times after that. We yeah, that's what I'm video. That's right

I remember that too as well. Yeah, but here's the two times. I saw you in the belly room. Okay, and I remember going There he is. I Wish I knew this this is no I would go literally I would be sitting there. Go there. He is that I'm just I'm going through my thought process. I love it Okay, wow, there he is. I think wow wasn't there. Wow. Yeah, wow, which is a good thing. I love it There he is my old friend Probably the third thing and I'm being real and so I remember being in the dark back there You know where the green room is mm-hmm. You know me and into the show room of the bedroom. Yeah, and I'm like Bob

Take a chance. Ah, Bobby. Just let me finish. I'm just so I'm not a talk But I know but I remember it's my internal dialogue is take a chance go for it You know, I know he's you met him when he was on a TV show very successful Very successful. They did movies four out of the six episodes aired. That's okay. Yeah. Yeah, and I don't be intimidated Say hello. He's your old friend. Yeah, and I remember there it is. No boy. Oh Steve Burn looks so This is yeah, that's it. I've got That's the show. There's only two pictures. You wanted to be friends with that guy You think I think that's so then I go so I go I remember saying hello to you and there was

No, I know just let me finish. I can't I know but I think that there was nothing back No, remember seeing you the second time going. Oh, I think it's dead. I Think that's dead. I think I might I think maybe Steve had told him something about me or something I stay in a minute. There are no words. Someone could say to shatter what we had Bobby Is that true of them? Yeah, I guess of could truly there was there is no there would be nothing other than like me being like Hey, he's a busy guy. Oh your head. Yeah, totally. So what do you don't do remember me saying hello to you? I do not remember that and yes, I mean, I really don't obviously like I would be like, what's up. Are you sure? Okay? Yes, well, then you saw me in the driveway. I was all smiles until you said sit down

They're talking about I know that's that's what I did. Yeah, he came up all smiley and I go sit down He was worried earlier. He was like something happened between. Oh, no, really. Yeah, no in no way No, I are you sure of 100. Okay? Well, then if you know, you know, and I if I may be so bold If we can hit play instead of pause. Yeah, I would love to be friends. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Good. Yes. That well is the dollop Let me ask you this. Sure. Okay The dollop where do you shoot that that's in Burbank you do that at the all things comedy studio. Yep, right? Do you have guests on that? We normally don't have guests in studio for the show. No, sometimes when we do live ones

We'll have guests good say, you know what the follow-up question and the answer is as soon as we have one here Yes, absolutely. That's not what I'm that's that's not my follow-up. Okay, my follow-up is switched. Oh, I'm happy that we were on It's a different book. Oh, okay, it's a different book that we're reading. Oh, right? So you might be on the same page But I'm reading something else. Okay. What are you reading read from yours? I will okay? I will read so the book that I don't I'm I'm reading the same book as yours Were you in a book while you Right, so we're on the same page great vamp. Oh, right 30 seconds to produce something. Thank you so much

But my line of thinking was this is that when I asked you if there was guests on the dollop You know if you would have said yes, then that would have put more fire onto my and I agree or put gas onto my fire I agree, right? But since there is no guests on yours you get a gentleman pass. Thank you I am I've gotten by the skin of my teeth on this. I still I feel like I'm Indiana Jones getting So how long has the dollop been around I think probably about six or seven years six or seven years Oh longer than longer. Oh Yeah, cuz I've heard of it. Is it are you like a big fan? I

Yes, but if you're you don't know I'm baby, please don't get defend. Okay. Go. All right, and I you know also You know, I've been accused of being a bully Right, so I'm I was just meant to see it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I Want to just suck out I want to come out with love and I want to bully anybody anymore, right? Okay, cuz I'm turning 50 and how old are you 41 Wow, you don't look come on. Thank you. You don't have to do that friend a friend Good friend a friend. Good friend. Good friend. Thank you So I just want to say I don't even know where I was going with this but you don't want to bully people

I don't want to believe that I forgot what I was gonna say before that you're on the same page and book, right? No, but after that Let's just move on. Well, that's why you don't want to bully people and how you want to take that approach Like, how are you? What's gonna change? Well, it's just like um, but it's what people don't understand Sorry, I had a juice. Does that mean you burp backwards? Well, what happens is it comes out uh-huh fluid and chunks. Oh, oh back in verping. Yeah Yeah, that was called verping. Yeah, I'm verping. Is that what verping is? Well, it's a vomit burp. Yeah. Yeah, you've heard Reverbing maybe yeah, you've heard that's what he asked on the mic. Can I get a little reverb?

Stinks still yeah, so um The doll up Well, no, yeah, this is what I was gonna say I found out what I was gonna say what I'm saying though is is I don't listen to King of the sting fight of the kid any of these other pockets I have no idea that what goes on the only thing that I would know is if I'm scrolling through Instagram And there's a clip of something right so I know that you you know do some stand-up I know that you do you're on a podcast

But I'm not privy to the specifics of it because I'm just kind of in my own world It does that make sense to everyone in the room. Yeah, totally. That's I'm very much like that as well I really am like not I don't really listen to many podcasts Yeah, I like this is among the few that I listen to like the only two that I listen to and I'm not saying that to put You on unequal footing and I didn't take it as that. That's what I love about I really didn't take it as that. All right. Yeah. Yeah, the two that I listen to is this American life Because it really has nothing to do with comedy although some of the stories are very funny And I listen to sword and scale because I like murder stuff

But what do you listen to? I Really don't listen to any like I listen to a lot of like news things. I don't really listen. What kind of news? I'll listen to like breaking points That's a news show. I listen to that a couple times a week Yeah, I would say to that. There's not really I mean, yeah, there's not my buddies sometimes I'll listen to them just to check in but for the most part. I don't really I'm not an active podcast listener Which is weird because people always are like, what are you listening like music my iPod? Yeah Do you watch comedies and stuff? I don't watch a ton of comedies either

I because I think partially because having worked in it in for so long and have having written on a number of shows It does sort of make me just want to watch like garbage versus life Yeah, well no not because I'm immersed in comedy, but I want my brain to just check out totally Yeah, I love garbage TV. I love love Island anything. That's just so removed from my reality Love Island took a summer from me. So and I wasn't on the show. Oh, I understand. Yeah, but that's how I feel Yeah, I'm like I like that sort of shit, you know, like white lotus. Do you see that? No, it's really good by the way I'll highly recommend it. You know Eric Griffin recommended it to me at first. I was like, I'll never do it

When he recommends things I just get Can't do it. Yeah, he's usually wrong Didn't he like recommend the nun? Yeah, he yeah, he represents he recommends. That's a crazy pairing, right? Yeah Just shitty what like a buddy cop Eric Griffin and the nun recommended Back to back show. So let me ask you this about you. Um, I Have to say I Thought that maybe you were gay. Okay, right. I'm sorry. It's just that weekend. Yeah, is that am I being bullied?

I think that's just wishful thinking on your That's fine. That's fine. Okay, you know what? I might have been gay No, you know what? Let's let's go with that. Okay. Yeah, I think so. Okay. Let's go with that. Okay, because I'll tell you why Okay, okay, although I have no physical attraction to you. Well, okay, all right, but you do remind me of I always have a I have a thing with breathing hard. I know I have a Giovanni Robisi Oh, right and for some reason your face Kind of reminds me of it. Sure. And so then maybe I was in Vegas I was hoping that you were gay not that I would do anything. Let me touch your dick, right?

It's growing Wait, oh well poke sauce sharp What you want to touch it? That's just go like this guild. This is how I approach you might get more bumps on your elbows over Whoa, I had a psorias attack Fucking touching you man. You're right. Thank you so much. Welcome everybody. I know I have blue fucking red My dad ran Bobby. It's just a ramp Like an exploding build a right. Yeah, that was also. I don't think that's COVID safe psorias Touching dick. Yeah, I think that's the most if he had COVID on if he had COVID on his finger

And he and I had a mask on but he touched me through my underwear. Fine. It's respiratory droplet Sweetie if he coughed on your dick, and then you sucked your own dick, maybe Well, no, no, that's Medically speaking, that's that's if you get COVID bring that up to the doctor. Yeah, I suck my own dick We think it's from psorias is from sucking his own dick We'll leave the x-rays up to you, obviously Want to hear what you think we're just leading with our web MD version. Yeah So after the after the um the wedding show did you what did you do next? I

Think I went back to doing children's birthday party Yeah, I'm pretty sure that I think that got me out for like a year or two Yeah, or something like that and then yeah, and then I had to like after being like, sorry I quit because of a TV show. I had to go back to my boss to be like, so I still got a spider-man outfit Yeah, but I think you know that's the one thing about this business. That's so bizarre Oh, it's where it's like you're in something and in your head you think oh Maybe it's shifted and things are gonna be like this for the rest of my life And then an end when it ends your agents whoever represents you they reassure you. Oh, no

We got stuff lined up. You know, I mean, this is the beginning. Yeah, and then Years will go by like I went through that so many times. Yeah where years would go by and you'd be like, oh I'm not talented. There's so many backup ways to make money now Like I feel like you guys could really be make a killing on only fans But not only that you mean Bobby and I having one together is what you're I mean possibly wait, what's an only fan? Oh Well, because I've heard it before I want you to explain it to me. It's basically it's You're your own independent contractor and you're putting out your own content It can be sexually explicit and it can be not it can be just feet pics

But people buy them piece by piece and it is there a site that I go on. Yeah, so there's an only fan site Yeah, and then you can pay somebody. Yeah, you subscribe to someone essentially. You're right, right? So a human subscription. We're finally there. So is like are you on only fans? No, I've never been on only fan Yeah, either of I yeah, but I have friends who have really gotten addicted to only fans Oh, they get addicted. Is it mostly sexual? Yes Yeah, like for instance, you know cat from fighter and the kid She does only suggestive no like sexually explicit stuff and that girl makes all killing on like feet pics. Yeah, yeah Really? Yeah, so how much if Gareth and I had one? Yeah, if we had one, what would what could we do?

What would they suggest to do like? Yeah, I guess I hear I have some suggestions. Okay, great Okay, so I'm really a big fan of both of your legs. I think if we can do something along the lines of Like cracking a nut between your thighs. Oh, okay, like doing just certain objects right by the between your thigh Like we can do thigh squeezing. Well, yeah, I'm masters. Well, oh Cracking a nut not ironically. I crack a nut. I will bust a nut Yeah, cracking and busting are two different things to crack Holidays. Oh, you literally cracking a nut. Yeah, so we're taking walnuts. Oh Like you're just or watermelon together depending on how good with you. You're just squeezing inanimate objects

I love it. It's kind of like, you know, like oddly satisfied. Yeah, like those videos. Yeah I'll be satisfying stuff that can be one. How much do you charge for that? It you name you name your price, babe Like if we could start we'd have to probably drive to do this. Well, we could do it here I mean, we could meet in the middle What would be the middle? Oh, yeah, or yeah ox note or we could do the parking lot at Magic Mountain What we could do is That's where a lot of people are doing them

You're gonna see a lot of people doing those we'll probably be in the background But what we could do is we could just like meet up twice a month to just get a bunch of content ready Mm-hmm a lot of you know thigh squeezing stuff. Yeah, we could scissor a little bit. Oh, yeah I was gay for a week in in Vegas. It'll be fine to me. Yeah, I Just thought that but my right. Let's go get offended. I'm not I want to be the curator great All right, so I have some really great. We can charge with a hundred bucks a video. Oh, that's deep. I mean, we're That's ambition about it. Well, hold on you can charge five dollars a video and let's say let's say let's suppose I'm not doing it for five dollars. I know we're not like that's on the low. Oh, yeah, but depends what's between your legs, right?

Yeah, so if it's his dick between your legs, then you charge a hundred. Yeah, that's where we're really getting you have to work up To it five dollars for this and there are tears and you you work up. There'll be a lot of I don't want to do it A lot of tears. It's worse than cameo to me. So here's like Trisha Paytas. This is how she prices it So you guys can do like a monthly subscriptions. Oh my $50 a month and then they block all your posts and you can just post it I can't imagine valuing myself higher than Netflix. Look at your life. Can you imagine having the gulf like I know that's I am like I'm a Hulu subscription per month. Yeah, and she's a porn star Trisha. No Yeah She shows just some photos of her and lingerie. I think she made like six million one years. It's sad, right?

Really and in videos too. She depends. You are your own, you know Sometimes she just talks to the camera and that's it and people pay for that. Oh, that's crazy. My whole life is like Reinventing I can't tell you yeah, yeah, George and Gilbert are trying to plot for me to manage my only fans We're trying to get an angling they've been angling to manage my only fans. I know I'm gonna say this to you. Yeah, okay You're a hot piece of lady you say piece of what I said hot piece of lady what the fuck I heard hot piece of lady without a stutter Go ahead Dude, that's friends. That's right. Yeah, I can feel it now. That's right. Yeah. Yes. So you're a hot piece of lady Right the common phrase right and you're um

And I'm not for some reason and maybe I should maybe something that we should work on But I'm really not when guys fawn over you. You're a cuck, babe. Just say it. There's one word for you and it's cuck What's a cuck man? You love the idea of watching Someone else have sex with me. No, that's not it. That's drawing the law and I draw the line at that But if they jerk off to you, it doesn't bother me Interesting. How about they jerk off on me? Hmm. Oh, if you have cellophane or anything In a jar of some kind Like if you put down like some sort of saran wrap, right and they were jerking off like nine guys are jerking

Ah, then before we came downstairs to meet you by the way, he offered me like a cow to another man Let's be real. Okay. Okay. No, that's not let's let's be that's not what happened. Like oh, it's a it's a strong accusation Let's be clear here, okay This woman right this watch your tongue fine piece of lady I got her right this this lady right comes back from Hawaii, right? And they're all the girls that went on this trip are talking about this one guy that they I'm not gonna say his name That they hung out with I've met the guy before and they all want to the off the all I didn't offer myself It's a person known to other people or just some he's not a celebrity. He's kind of like he's a local boy

Okay, did I meet him on Facebook? I love you haven't yes, you met him Gilbert. Oh, thank I got great pecs Stop burping He's he's a very handsome island thick boy. It's all I'll say and when I was in Hawaii with him You were you had a crush on him? I know he they were drive. We're all driving back to you know Yeah, Oahu and I go. Can I go in his car? Yeah, so I volunteered to go in his car because I wanted to be in his truck with him Okay, right a truck by the way. I'm not getting uglier So I understand the merits of it, okay But they all got back from Hawaii and they're all they all except for her

Offered themselves to him as a party package. We're like, hey, will you have sex with all of us? It's my friend said and he politely declined. Wow. He declined Right, if you there was a are you married? No, you have a girlfriend. No, okay, so if there was a party package Yeah, let me ask you something. I'll be honest. I am I will be it's a four-woman party package Yeah, it's a four women of different women, right? Yeah, right and and they offered a party package and I have to say Another one Okay, I have to know like what level they are level. I mean, they're pretty okay. It's a good level It's a good level. Okay, right. It's so it's four pretty good level level. Okay, okay Um, what would you turn it down? I mean, I don't think I'd turn it down. I'd probably be like listen

We all need to talk about the expectation of this time I'm one person. I don't have a truck or huge pecs, but yeah, I'm gonna kitchen sink it, but Remember I might need to ride the pine every now and then have a gatorade and then I'll Okay, well, here's what we said. I told the girls because I'm the you know, I was a hidey-flies of this trip Right. I was basically like look I told him I was like little no expectations We'll bring some helmets a sack of bananas. Oh some ivy, you know some what do you call that? Liquid ivy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There'll be some dents on the wall We'll have a coach with a timer in the corner

There'll be pure equity in terms of how much time everyone gets right. I get a clear tag in the middle Right. It was there was a literal. I love that. I mean that you're not gonna last the round Well, but I love that. It's not a 12 wrong fight for you. But still I can get in some blows and punches I like my chances to hang I like I see the commenters being like we don't expect this out of the kit You know and then I see it going down here, but I see a moment of I just feel like it was a pay-per-view event People would be like, uh, it wasn't worth it. Oh, that's a hundred percent true. Okay 100 percent true There would be a but can I say this if I was offered it? Yeah, it would be a there'd be a part two On people that's absolutely. There'd be a part because what I'd actually be hyping the sequel before the original

I know but what you're not understanding about it, right? I think I am No, no, because I think you're done. No, I think that you're like not you know, I mean you're not looking at your skill set I am you're you're saying I only last round But what I'm saying is is that with all the other things that you have to offer, right? You probably could recommend books. Yeah, that'll be mostly book Yeah, yeah. All right. Well the sex part feels like it's time to take a time out. Let's talk books And there'll be a whistle for that. So I'll be the coroner just with a timer and a whistle. Yeah, I think there's a I Yes, yes, I think do you think that?

Like so helmets mean condoms Helmets real mean real helmets are real helmets. Are there condoms at play here? Of course But also we didn't get to the main part of the story before we walked down here He was like you should throw yourself in that party package. Oh And what unsolicited I didn't ask I didn't ask you know, I know she wants to be And I just didn't like that was like a hidden thing Is that but when you say that is that with any edge or are you being sincere? I have the video 100% sincere I have the video for it. Yeah. Yeah

Oh I got it on paper. Okay. Actually, you know what? I'll I'll send you the video Send her that's aired on the thing. Okay, put it edit My point is is this is I could feel like she was like, you know, the girls are gonna do it But you know, I'll just like be a referee or whatever I just like in my head. I'm like a referee. I'm like she wants to be there. Right. She doesn't want to be the referee Yeah, she doesn't really want to be the referee. I'm a voyeur. I do like to watch with her desires. Sure, right? My young girl desire. Yes. Yeah. First of all the trip changed them in what way in every way

It's like I'm they're too Because you know, yeah, Jules is up there too. It's like two different people walked in the house They just were bright eyed and bushy tailed and they were like, um Just changing 10 years younger. Oh boy. Oh, yeah, I mean full of life. Yeah. Yeah, and um And I felt like if you want to throw down with this guy, do we say his name already? No, we are not saying Oh, I want to say I don't want to say his name so bad But you know what I'm talking about, bro. And I'm gonna say this to you right now. This is like wrestling. I love you

You're listening right now, dude. Yeah, I I listen. I'm the promoter You're viz McMahon. I'm viz McMahon. I'm the promoter. I get a large cut I'm gonna have fucking a white afro tall one like fucking king. Yeah. Yeah. Oh don dog cake Okay, I'm gonna have Jules. I'm get I get a promoter do I get 80 percent. We're doing this on only fans I get I have to fuck him on only. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is pretty much what a promoter does to be fair 80 percent for doing very little Yeah, yeah So bro and you there we go, you know what dude? You're a lucky man. You don't get any money. Wow

Yeah, he doesn't get any money. Wow I mean no talent. So you would you would do it though. I mean, I think I'm I have enough I have no commitment. So I'd be like, yeah, let's yeah, give it. You know what and I think that These are very reasonable girls if you came in there just with like, you know and gave it your all Well, I think I do think there would I mean, let's you know, I think I'd there'd be some fun Yeah, I yeah, I don't think it would be all apologies and post-coital signal Which is my first album by the way, but Check it out. But let me say something. Okay. Yes. I bet you money

If we taped it sure, this is now. I mean, I'm starting to do Born to be fair and and if it was on television or it would be under the category of comedy I would rather it be under the real wedding crack It would not be drama. It would not be Bobby, I hear you it would be like you Then the next test thumbnail would be the office. You know, I mean that type of thing I think a lot of people think I look like a broke Giovanni Robisco Yeah, but yeah, and and I'm okay with that. I mean my sexual art is open to interpretation

Even if I wasn't making a comedy if that's what you found. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Wow. I really love that. I think that's an attractive attitude Yeah, that is I think it's gonna behoove me in the bedroom, Bobby. I just came. Yeah, see yeah, and I didn't That's not even without an only fan subscribe I Have another question for you then which springs up another question. Sure is is that I always thought I mean, I don't want to get too personal, but Why don't you have a girlfriend?

Uh, what what now stop don't answer that. Thank you. Absolutely fucking hate that question as if being with somebody sort of You know adds value to who you are as a human being I actually have four girlfriends. They're in Hawaii I have a harem as well As if it's something to be like, you know, all right when I first met you when I first met you you were what 43 42 yeah, and you had never really had any super long-term girlfriends, but I didn't see that as a red flag I thought to myself Oh, he just hasn't aligned with somebody in that way or maybe could it be this though

Uh-huh. Could it be that I'm on a podcast. I didn't know what else to ask. So I went with that It could have been that as simple as that too, right? Yes. She's it's a sag I it's a great sag and I welcome But also best friend the empathy BFFs I'm waiting until 43 and That's my plan. My plan is to have someone baby bird me back into existence Yes, show me how to cohabitate and I need to go to like if I were like I need to go to a place where there's other pit bulls and just rehab for a little while and then I

Because I always thought that you were more Steve Bernie and more domesticated. That's all No, actually Steve's one of those guys who's always like So what's your plan? You know, it'll be all right. I felt okay about before lunch. Yeah. Yeah some point Yeah, but but I but not I mean, that's you know, we are different people But I to me like it's hard with the amount that I travel It's also I am like a big Into not wasting time And so if I don't feel and probably do a fault if I don't feel like something is necessarily right

I'll probably be like, yeah, I mean well this probably doesn't end in years of a relationship. So right I had normal parents coming. I should point that out. But everything seems that way. Everything was fine Yeah, it seems everything was fine. Are you being real cut that out? No, don't cut it out But yeah, I know my parents had a really weird marriage one where I think I was like what what like why One where when I was like seven years old They were like we're getting separated and I was like didn't understand what the term meant But then like my dad left and then I would see him from time to time

And then it's okay. You're getting emotional and uh and that happens there's more to come and uh And then They were like on and off again for like six or seven years Where I really didn't know what was going on and then had a tremendously terrible divorce at the end Oh, so I think like oh So they threw out that there was other little things popping up

But it was like pretty much just such a drawn-out process that I was like I think I do And it's one of those things too where like I'm like I'm fine with it And then I went to therapy once like a few years ago for a couple times and the second came up I was like, yes, there's so far, but uh, but I do think it relates to that in some in some way just being careful It's almost harder to like have it Drawn out for so many years. It's like it's better to just be like, okay We're getting a divorce and it's very clear

But when you're young and you're like, what are they to each other? How do I and they were like still kind of dating? Yeah, throughout it. So it was like really it was really weird. So was there any point that he moved back in? Yeah, oh, yeah, there were a couple of times where I was like, all right You know, it's like you're a kid So, I mean, I always felt like when I go to friends houses, I would like see their Nuclear family pictures and I would be like so like I wish mine was that, you know, even being like, let's go to Sears and everyone being like, shut up But uh, but yeah, I think like so that you know made it just so

as prickly as a cat's dick As the saying goes great call back. Yeah, great call back But so when did it and so were you in high school when they actually got a divorce? Yep, and then did they start seeing other people after that? What kind of had happened was my father was already seeing somebody And we didn't really know and then soon after that they were like married and so it was just kind of like And then he had three kids and had the pictures on the wall of like the good family and I was like, no That was supposed to be me and a big trampoline. They got the Sears photo that you never got Yeah, the kids were like dressed up in like Newsy outfits and I was like, oh, I wanted it was to be a Newsy with my

Loved ones in a black and white Sears photo So that's I think that's where it stemmed and maybe the well think how hard the set of the real wedding crashes was for me I was like weddings. Oh, oh, oh, yeah Yeah, show us is that were you funny before that or was that like around the time where you were really funny I think I was funny before that and I think I got really like dark For some time there where I was just like, I don't really remember That's one thing that's really strange like I don't really remember what I was like throughout it because I do think I was kind of just like Day to day almost, you know coping a little bit

But when you were let me ask you this when you were doing the wedding crushers that the reality show Were you doing stand-up at the time or do you do you stand up after that after that? That's what? Yeah, that's what it was to total. Oh, yeah, I think that's what that's a big part of it for sure Of when I saw you in the belly, I think that's what it was when I saw in the bell room in my head. I'm like I don't is he was a stand-up. I was probably bombing in the belly room So I was probably like bombing I mean, you know how it is when like I mean I tried at the store like a few different times under tommy Yeah, and you know would be like up at like one thirty or whatever

Yeah, bomb and or like, you know, not even bomb but just not kill the three people in the audience as much as I'd hoped Yeah, and uh And so I think when I was there that was they were not miserable experiences But I certainly was not comfortable there, you know, and I was and I was so new to stand up probably to know the comedy store is All about devastating experiences. It's a devastating environment. Yeah, it's not a feel-good environment I brought my friend Jean there. Yeah, he's like it's so dark in here. I got yeah It just there's a vibe to it, but it's so great. It's performing at it is so great. I know, you know I know that's why and that's why if you are like doing the hangout thing you are like, oh, man

I just want to go play with my friends. Yeah, Bobby. Yeah Well, I'm sitting here waiting for a 145 a.m. Yeah Well, has Steve or anybody tried to get you in as a regular? Yeah, I mean not uh, not recently, but you know, I hung in there for a while I remember when I was there for a while and I was going You know like man, this really sucks, you know, and then Roy Wood came in and I'm like, what are you doing here? And he's like just playing the game and I was like, oh, well if you're fucking sitting here, then I guess I can sit. Oh, right Yeah, um, but yeah, but I also it doesn't like really bother me

It's something I would like to do, but it's also not something where I feel You know, I like going on the road. Okay. Well, maybe maybe have a new project over there You know, I really like trying to campaign for people. Did you do best fit? Yeah, maybe I'll campaign campaign for you because I think that like, um You've been around enough you've done enough things you have a following Right. Yeah, you're a really funny guy and I used to think that We also need new New people there. You know, so, um, I think you're my new project. Well, I listen. I'm ready and and I want you to know

outside of this conversation the best friends talk is still on I'm not I'm not actually gonna do what I just said. I was gonna Well, we've been together eight years Yeah That comes to a point where he's great great. It is great He has never raging boner for me because you know, what's the saying should we have gill check? What is that you don't have gill to do a boner check. So rice is gill check. Yeah You want to do you want to do elbow to elbow?

There we go. Here we go. Perfect. There we go. Yeah Yeah, there we go There we go. Oh, dude, I pinched dude. I like your balls move so fluly away from my fingers I went to grip his balls and they went to top thing here Yeah, oh my god, the red sea, you know when brucelly talks about walking like water. Yeah, that's your testicles. That's who I am Oh, man, right there Now when you go on the road, what what rooms do you play? Uh, what do you mean? Like what like when you're headlining?

I mean, I obviously the one in wisconsin probably is your thing. Yeah, I come in a state comedy on state Yeah, act me. I mean, I'll go anywhere honestly. Yeah, uh, but uh, that that room the comedy on state Bro, yeah, it's the greatest Is that in madison? Yeah, it's probably one of the best. It really is. I only did it one time It's it's almost unfair because you're like, I'm ready to do an album, you know, and then you go somewhere else. You're like, boof I know. Yeah, what's a room that's hard? I mean, I've had I remember when I was in like When I was working on my album and I was like in kentucky or something. I don't remember where I was but I was

Like pretty much just like eating a lot of shit the whole time. I was there in your headlining. Yeah, I hate that Yeah, you know what's like that for me. There's a club in san antonio, which I'll always play Oh, but it's called lol. Yeah, I know it's huge huge. Oh my god. It's like sometimes you're out there. You're going You think you did 40. Yeah, and you're eight minutes in That feeling is the worst. Yeah, and then you try to think about like Let's do some crowd work like in your head. Yeah, and that's not working Where you from when you dip into the crowd work and it's snake eyes. You're like, okay We really we need a hit. We need a hit. You know, you're like and then all of a sudden desperation sometimes desperation kicks in

And you start sweating. Yeah, right? And then sometimes you're like, fuck it. I'm out Like I've done that. Oh, that's amazing where I go. Fuck it. I'm out. I You don't have to pay me in my head. I'm like, they don't have to pay me, right? I want to figure out any way I can get out of the situation We're just out of complete silence imagine me going good night Oh, 17 minutes. Yeah, and then get up and then the manager going back there and going Dude, you only did 20 minutes and it's like

You don't have to pay me dude. It was terrible. I couldn't there's nothing. Oh, yeah Yeah, I mean I've done that before I I mean, I do enjoy like the challenge of trying to get out of it But there have I mean, you know, like any there are times when you are up there It's weird when your mind kind of splits at times and you're able to do your material and also kind of process What's happening in the room? Yeah, and you're still saying the material pretty much verbatim, but you're going like that man hates me Oh, yeah, I do that things like that So you're kind of like calculating your next move while you're going like because everyone stands in that line

You know, but in your head you're going those people really are just too conservative for me or whatever it is Yeah, I mean I was at the store the other night and I got introduced I go on stage and this white dude He's wearing a ball cap. He kind of looked like a Theo von Fann And you know as soon as I walked up. He went like this. He put a mask on his face Right, and then he just sprinted out as he got halfway through my opening lines Whoa, where are you going? Do you put a mask when an asian guy comes up on stage, right? That got a laugh Yeah, right. He's like, no, no, no. I just I'm leaving Like as an asian guys

Right, and it's like I take things so personally almost right But I do that on the road as well You mean I just take it personally. It's it's hard. I mean it really is it's so like it's why most people fear it because it's there And I say just check on my legs, but it's because Whoa, what what do you mean? In a good way you looked and you gotta look and I'm fine And you don't have any varicose or anything. No, no You know what? It's a non varicose. I never thought that you would call me out on that

I liked it. I know but it's like next time I look at your legs. Don't call me out This is what I say next time I take a longer look. This is my life, you know eight years of having to watch bobby What hit on other men? No, it's not guys. It's not You know somebody today earlier on I was looking on the comments and people go I really think bobby is gay Right and I want to say something right now A little bit. You're fluid. I'm not at all. I think you're fluid. I think that it and that's like your nutsack. You're fluid What's that? Oh, that's that's uh, that's Giovanni Robisi. That's um, that's me when things were good That was right before I went back to kids parties. Yeah, let me say let me just say you guys are not leg twins

And you have him on the legs. Whoa, you have on the legs for sure. Wow. That's feels like a unanimous. Yeah It's like everyone on the voice spun around for our lives. We turned our chairs. Yeah, I got a full chair tour Has anybody said are you Giovanni Robisi before in your life? I had a guy in the post office once go to me. I know your mom and my mother lives in England. So I was like You better back the fuck up. I mean, you know, you're in a post office. So like it's not crazy to think some psychopaths You're like, I love your shoes or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. So he's like, I know your mom and I go What you know and he goes, uh, I know your mom and I go I don't think you do and he goes

I know you're Giovanni Robisi And I go oh, I'm not and he goes come on I was like, no, and then I kind of like turned around. I think then he was processing that maybe I wasn't Yeah, but his opener was as crazy as it could be And then it's like What do you do? He was he's still not convinced. He was not sold It was the only time like in my life where I really was like, I don't think I have the words to tell this first I want to know what his relationship is with Giovanni Robisi's mom. Well, his mom, you know, his mom was a casting director

Oh, okay Right. So his mom is like a famous casting director. Okay And um, she's also So he's some crazy actor. He's also probably a Scientologist He was probably about to hand me a script Yeah, he might maybe yeah, give this to your mom. Thank you and I could be in it together I love you and the other sister. I know don't you don't you hate it when people don't know how show business works Oh, that's yeah, the best one is when someone's like, can you recommend my friend for a part?

You're like, I mean I can but it's not like that's not like they're gonna go This is gear as friends. So we should put him in a really big role. Yeah, like they're gonna go with who's good Yeah, or you guest star on something in the year later. It's like my friend neat wants to get on that show I can't get on it again. Yeah, or people who are like, I just start headlining club. You're like, I I mean, I was the person asking everyone that for years. Oh, right. How do you and yeah, you just kind of keep going I mean, that's I remember when I asked my manager when I like because I started doing weekends with burn Which sounds like weekends with burning. Yeah, he was alive But I was like building a material and I said to my manager. I'm like, hey, you know, I think I have like 20 minutes and stuff

And he's like, great. Keep going But I'm ready to do stuff Your role is in there, so I know it's it's it's something that you can't force. Yeah, even I know dudes Let's look and listen. I mean looking listen. Look and listen. I like looking. I like looking looking looking. Look at me. Look into me I think that one of the best comics in LA is Rick Ingram Yeah, I really believe that. Um And when I watch him perform, I'm like I just think that this guy is a legitimate headliner like he could

Play any room. He's a little dark, but like but it's like it's it's you know With the dollop, right? Yeah with Tiger Valley also with my eight years on mad tv and this and that you need something One of some of these external things almost to push you Because they you know, believe it or not. It's like Pablo Francisco did Four episodes of mad tv One time I was driving by the tempi improv and it said mad tv is Pablo Francisco. Oh, yeah I had been on the show at that point for six years

Right. Yeah, and it's like they're still using that credit. Oh to like, you know, I mean, yeah, right But I'll I'll I've like gone to clubs and seen like they're like the new girl and I'm like But I mean I had like six lines One of the last episodes, you know what I mean? Like people are showing up like is it schmitt? You know, I'm like, no Yeah, yeah, sometimes you just don't you you'll go there and go just don't can you take that off? Well, I think it it's like you're saying it's just like everything else here where it is just it's your level of comfort with bullshit Like there's so much bullshit leveraged for stuff People have different levels of comfortability as far as like the smoke and mirrors of what they've done

Because it really is actually irrelevant. Yeah, the fact that we've been on things is pretty irrelevant It's like how good are you if you're good, then it'll be great if you're not then it'll be weird So it gets people thinking you're good But again, it's like do what expectation do you want? You know, do you want people being like this is one of the main stars in the new girl? watch tell jokes about the grocery store Yeah Do you but I used to get offended by Like I remember one guy it was in the main room, but he was like one of those bringer rooms

Yeah, he's not a regular. Yeah, and and he didn't I was like a poppin. So they didn't know that I was going to be there and His introduction was He's a regular until the handler Right some guy, right? Yeah, and I was looking at monsters and I go I had probably done 50 or 60 Chelsea handlers, but I know Every single person that's on that show. Yeah He's never I've never seen him

Yeah, and I don't know why I did this but I feel like such an asshole But for somebody I was just in a mood and he got off and I just confronted him And I go You're rigged on Chelsea. Like I don't know. I've done 50 or 60. I've never seen you on one. He's like, oh, I had a line in a sketch You know what I mean? And I'm like

All right, when you were starting up like have you did you ever fake your credit? I always didn't like it Like I remember somebody guy goes he does clubs and colleges and I said yeah, which is the totally 100 percent Good friend of mine Like nothing's true. So Why I know and I remember telling you I go don't say that Yeah, I just didn't feel right about it. You know and when people do it. It's fine. I get what it is It's like if you don't have a credit what else are you gonna say? Yeah? Well, they always say what do you want me to say? I mean that's that's like the person is gonna bring up

It's like what you want me to say. Yeah, to some extent you are like But I love the guy who has a million credits Yeah, that's that when you what do you want me to say they got nothing? Yes, it's better. I always think that that's cool That is cool. Why are you looking at me like that? How am I looking at you think I should I not confronted that guy? No, no, I'm I'm just agreeing I'm I'm I'm yeah, I'm trying to question why I would say that I think you give the best intros by the way, dude, even when they don't want it you go like You know, but that's that's because of what we're talking about. I don't like the bullshit of it

Yeah, if if I'm bringing a friend up on stage and I give them clubs and colleges And they say his name There's it's so impersonal. So I tried to anchor it in Reality So I go like for instance you let's always bring you on stage right Which is not really from far from the realm of possibility from what I hear True it is right. Oh, it is. Okay. I like a challenge. We'll bring him up now. So I'd say, um I'll say, you know, he's done my podcast

Um, you know, we met in Vegas while he was on a tv show, right? And we had a good time and then he ignored me for three years Like I would probably say something like that just as a joke, right? No, but seriously, dude He's like the nicest guy so fucking funny. He has a podcast called the doll up And I think that on that alone people will be like there's personal something personal It's the worst one like I mean, I I have to say and I'm what I'm what's gonna say it Before mark maren was mark maren. I have to say he gave the worst interest Known really I like like what is his resentment Would come out as far as having to do that part of the show

No, his resentment toward whoever was next. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh god This guy, you know dances around on stage with his high energy to get a laugh But he's not tricking anybody Bobby Lee and then you're you walk up on stage and you have to always kind of whisper like what the fuck? You know what I mean? And he's like, hey man being real And it's like and I heard and heard that I had heard that somebody Somebody had

confronted him Right going. Hey, dude, if you give me another fucking drill, I'll fucking smash your head and and they stop But then once, you know, I mean he deserved what he got which is like The respect that he deserved Right. Yeah, he does. He's number one. I'm going to give mark maren every compliment in the book right now, right? is number one I don't think that there would be moderny podcasting without wtf. Yeah, that's number one number two when I um

have serious problems with either other comics or career decisions and choices I always go to him and he gives me the best advice. Yeah number three I love the man. I think that um He's one of those guys when when he was in the Joker And I saw him. I I almost welled up in tears I'm being real going

Thank good for him. Yeah when he got Barack Obama on his podcast. I was like Obviously obviously, you know what I mean? Yeah, like he's the shit. Yeah, so when I tell that's what I told that This should be how you bring him up on stage next time That's pretty good one. Yeah. No, I do do that. Yeah. Yeah when I bring up on stage, I do do that You know, I mean like he's the shit. So, you know, that's I'm giving it So I don't want people to like listen to what he used to do 15 years ago and give shitty intros Because I know what's gonna happen. They're gonna fucking go to mark and go. Are you people don't dig up old stuff on people and come at them? Yeah, you're right

They know his show is his show is actually one because the guy I do the dollop with Dave was a writer on his show And was on it a bunch and so I was on it very quickly And that's another one Well, they'll be like from IFC's Marin and I'm like literally two lines In the background once and then two lines. Yeah, you love him from Marin. Was he nice on the set? He was actually so fucking nice. Yeah. Yeah, he's always been really really cool to me because he knows Dave But no, he was like he like drove me to set and he was just really really cool Yeah, I love the man. So do I and he's and like you said, I mean, I do think it is like I remember

I've known about mark marin for the whole time. I've known about comedy in my life You know, not to make him feel like old but like he is he started so young He was on like comedy central when I was you know, I mean a kid and so it's like, you know There is there is you have many of those moments in this business as gutting as it is at times where you you have these crossover moments You go fuck if I told myself that that would be worth it, you know, you're gonna make me cry Give it to me, baby. No, I'm not gonna touch you. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, no, but you hit something in the head right there You're absolutely right. There are there are incidences You got it incidences. Yeah, you got it. I wouldn't keep repeating. Got it. I want to do one more time

You better nail this stick a little incidences great in my life where I look around and I go if I would have told my 23 year old self When I first signed up for open mic go, these are the kind of things you're going to be doing 30 years from now, right that kid would not believe it. Totally and it's like And I think that deep down inside when we were first starting Right move to LA whatever right Do you think deep down inside those dreams or things we had an idea that it's going to work out or no

I think in Personally in actualization of how things have gone It's so different than what I would have ever thought like in my head It was such a different path to what I honestly probably didn't want But it was it seemed like a much simpler ride and I think one of the things that does make it gratifying You know when you do have some success is being able to To reflect upon how tough it was at times and those things and I think they're important because It just gives you appreciation for stuff and that's what we're sort of saying like when you have those moments

You know Like as a kid you can dream about having money or you can dream about what your place looks like But you can't dream about someone you respect You know giving you a compliment or working with someone who you know or someone You know or getting bobby Lee's phone number, you know, but or whatever it is like little things where you do go like Yeah, like if I had told myself that it's it's totally worth it and you remember those my god You hit it on the head, but When I was a kid I would tell a story. Okay

I used to go to this AA meeting Okay, it was in La Jolla. It was on Jenter and Draper. Okay, okay And it was a little church that was there And I had a sponsor and he go he wrote down he goes I want you to write down what your dreams are Like everything that you want out of life, right? So I wrote down I think at the time I was taking improv classes So I'm like, oh, may I be on a sketch show or you know, man? Or you know at all these movie star or whatever I might be like these big things, right? Yeah, and um

I handed it to him and he goes He goes god Has something greater that you can't even foresee plan for you You know, I mean things that are like, you know, I mean and he was right. Yeah, they're just instances again How many times do you think he was wrong though with other people when he said that? A lot of people banging on that door. No What's the plan asshole?

I'm waiting no because you have to understand that what he said also before that even that is you have to Number one, you're sober to live a big life He always stressed that because there was guys when I was getting sober that would just Stay sober and they would play chess at like the Elano club 12 hours a day and didn't have jobs. Yeah, and that's our only thing He was completely against that. He was just basically like you're a kid. You're 17, right? I really need you to go out there and just take risks, right? So with those things in mind, right? You're having a big life taking risks, right? These things can happen, right?

But you can't foresee is basically what I'm saying I for myself I didn't know I couldn't foresee specifics, but I knew that I was Gonna have a big life like I just knew what I felt it in my bones ever since I was a kid. I'm like this This is gonna you said that the other day and I believe you yeah, I've always felt that there was and in whatever direction I truly believe that whatever door I chose or go through from here on out that no matter what it's gonna feel big at least for me my own standards Yeah, did you feel that?

I did but I think I I'm not even kidding. I think kids birthday parties really made me go like I don't think it's on the cards anymore I think uh, whoever gave me that advice was way off base. I should have stayed in Boston a valet is what I should Yeah, uh, no, but I mean I I did for I mean that's why I've been very gratified like you know The past few years of my career because it has I've finally been like, okay I am like able to work and do things but for so long I felt Like I remember when I was working birthday party like I'd done my buddy and I had made a pilot And we're waiting to hear if it got picked up and I was like running out of money And so I was doing kids birthday parties by weekend and working construction for my brother by week

And my brother had me over I like needed money for my card like broken out or something I had no money so my brother loan me money and he was just goes. What's the plan? And I was like, oh I was like, man. I I don't have the answer Because he was like trying to convince me to go take tiling classes and stuff I'm going maybe. I don't know. You know, I still feel like I got a shot. What's the plan? Yeah Yeah, but but I do I think I have like, you know deep down always stuck to The decision-making in this avenue because it did feel but what we did you and I didn't foresee though Is the internet back totally? Yeah was not a thing and it's like podcasting was never

Something that was even in my plan because it didn't wasn't a wrap open access to like getting your voice out Like when I remember when we used to do like sketch shows and you'd get a guest list Your manager would give you like this guest list like 30 people and you're like, oh my god The head NBC comedy and all this fucking shit. You know, you're going. Oh, this is great And then after the show you go who showed up and they go uh the one or actually he didn't make it So none of them and wait what the whole thing like you're on stage going gotta please the suits And there's not literally one person who's gonna do shit in the crowd And um and then yeah, and then you did have to kind of pivot and adjust when the youtube and podcast were coming out

You did have to kind of go. Okay. Yeah, I gotta like but but what I love about it is Is we had gatekeepers. Yeah, right? And we like those people you're talking about we had to go through them And if none of them liked you you're done. Yeah, right to wait for new gate. There are no gatekeepers. Yeah now We can prove you know, I mean that we're we There's we have a voice we can prove that people like us There's I I'm aware There's a lot of people out there that don't like me, right? Impossible Bobby. Yeah, but I'm aware. I read it

It's fine. I get it, right? It doesn't offend me because I know there are horns of people Yeah, you gotta you that love me that love me. So my point is and it's like I did that thing I Auditioned I try to get development deal pitch, you know all these things and thank god. Kalala said Seven years ago or six years ago. Let's start a podcast. Yeah, and I'm like At the time there was nothing else and he said no Bought the mics anyways, but I met him I met him at maker studios where I was trying to do video like sketches there and they're like, well We'll team you up with our loser our loser producer here, you know, I mean

Our bottom and I he was the one guy He was the one guy that was so excited to work with me. Yeah, right and I love this guy And when we were doing this It was a simple slip in simple slip in it was also meant to be and it's like, um, it changed my Trappedory of my life. Yeah. I also had no notes. Nobody ever gives you a fucking note I know, you know, that's the beautiful thing is that I mean podcasts are, you know, even if it's stand up You're refining your material. Yeah, the podcast is just your voice and your thoughts and there's no notes I mean the thing that bogs you down and like writing on stuff or you know, whatever version of comedy is scripted

Is the notes and just like the notes on you know, do something different or which again is not like it's not You want to collaborate? But it's also you get addicted to being totally unfiltered. I mean the ability to not edit I mean really cut out so little and just put out an unproduced thing and have it get be the best Response you've had to anything. Yeah, you know, it's like it's so good. Yeah. It's time for Unhelpful advice. Okay. And what that means is that we get first of all, I want to say Um, I'm obsessed with you. It's a wow. It was a pleasure. Number one. It was a pleasure. A pleasure. I agree Number two is we cannot believe that this is the first time you've ever been on our podcast

I agree. There's an energy about you. That's pure and simple. Thank you. And it's the good stuff Well, you guys are making me feel very comfortable. It's the good stuff where life's supposed to happen Well, I wait until I don't leave And you're gonna be back and um Um So at the end of our episode we do and people email about problems and stuff and then we try to answer not answer Yep, so go ahead on hopeful advice with body kalilah and gary All right, uh, this is from a female listener. She sent a picture. This is her on the left with her boyfriend

Uh, she's from Atlanta. So I'm just gonna read what she said a couple days ago I was offered a job working as an assistant to the executive producers of a new network tv show that starts filming next month My stomach has been in knots ever since I have no idea what to expect and I'm feeling so anxious My anxiety is through the roof and I want to show up the first day feeling confident But I am absolutely petrified. I start the second week of september When you dove into a new job, how did you guys prepare yourself? Do you have any advice for me how I can calm my nerves and go into my first day feeling confident? And she would like to be called peach because she's from Atlanta. Okay

Go ahead. What's it's similar to what we were kind of just talking about in a way. I mean my advice would be that uh most people People are always uncomfortable in roles in this business in every single way people either feel like They're being utilized incorrectly or underutilized or or people are you know overwhelmed because they don't know what they're doing So many people have the thoughts that peach would be feeling different versions because it's your first time But sometimes you do fake a little bit of confidence And it just goes a long way and I would say you're hired for a reason

But there's nothing wrong with acting like you belong there. Even if maybe you don't feel like you do yet That's exactly what I was gonna say Word for word, but I would like to add on please. Thank you. Thank you Wow I feel it so I read somewhere where Barbara Streisand before she performed she'd vomit She was so nervous. Okay. And you hear Nicole Kidman is very nervous before

And you know even um Meryl Streep is very nervous The night before I've been on sets where um, I've seen Huge names Say out loud or whisper pretty nervous right now. Well, I have like a lot of anxiety right It's everyone's feeling that way from the caterer

To the sound man, right? It's just, you know Number one. It's like an exciting job, right? Yep. Number two is exciting world But you have to understand that everyone's feeling that and you know, it's like that old saying you fake it till you make it, right? You show up You smile you do the best you can and have fun and and also It's a life experience. Yeah Because I've been I don't know about you, but I've been on sets Where I was number one bad number two. It didn't work out number three. They never asked me back, right?

And you know, I've learned from those situations, right? I've I've had terrible auditions You know, I mean, I've had horrible things that happened to me We've all have right, but it's all a learning process Yeah, I think yeah, you know, I mean it's a way how you it is kind of how you motivate yourself through it Is you take it on the chin and then it's just you're trying to climb the next rung, you know But also I think if you're nice That's also really helpful. I think if you like working with someone

It's just you know, maybe not it doesn't behoove you right now But in five years it could be like something that really, you know, it's it's a small business in so many ways I want to say to peach that when before Gilbert came on this podcast as an engineer Yeah, he knew nothing no video editing no audio editing nothing I just really liked him. He was a ray of sunshine He was just this like happy beam of light every time he walked into the room and I was like that I want him on this show and on top of that we spent the first two weeks of our friendship learning how to Edit watching youtube videos. Oh in the beginning of when we finally had him on the show

We told everyone he was a legitimate audio engineer and everyone just said, okay There we go. That's all you have to do that is it that I mean, but now he's a pro Yeah, I wouldn't know with my psoriasis. I don't even see it. Thank you I don't even believe you have it That's right. It is that'll be 30 dollars. Yeah, um, it's exciting for her Why did she send of a photo with her and her boyfriend? I just they're cute. Why wouldn't you send that photo? I think she had an Atlanta shirt to prove that she wasn't lying being from there Arroborates, but also they look like us

They are I have hiccups and stuff are coming out. What does that mean? Mike's way. I didn't have any Mike. Should I eat some? To fix it jersey Mike. I like Jersey Mike. Yeah, I do pretty good stuff. Pretty good. Anything else? Oh, you want one more? Yeah Hey guys, I've been single since 2014 my sophomore year Nothing What the hell the commitment Relax, I've been on bumble and tinder ever since and I haven't had any luck

I'm a big dude, but I'm not but not so big where I need one of those motorized wheelchairs or a seatbelt extender But I do have man boobs. I see you and kala together and I feel hopeful But overall I just want to know if I should change myself first like lose weight And wait to find love or should I keep trying to find my own kalai love? That's a great question. So he identifies with you bobby I feel like yeah, you guys should probably feel this first Bobby you want to start by Different reactions. I've noticed it. Listen. I always thought that I would end up with A tall burly big peck man with big peck from Hawaii

The truck with the yeah Nothing wrong. Yeah, you know, I always thought that But when I met this beautiful little gargoyle I thought to myself wow, I don't know myself because I like whatever the fuck that is And I think the same for you. I don't think that you know If you don't like where you're at with your weight and your health and all that then yeah, of course Workout do all that stuff, but don't do it if just because you think that that's a way in And with you know finding a date

You know what I mean? Yeah, like There are a lot of women out there who would be into man boobs. I certainly am not against it I'm all about that extra estrogen in a man's body And um, Bobby, are you okay? Bobby your energy's changed. I don't know what it is Feels like something's different. Yeah I searched Hawaiian with big pecks. Oh, there we go I'll turn his hair around. Yeah, that's uh Sure

I don't To the right go to the right go to the right the what's that photo? I have There we go. By the way, that's no overtaking Better stay behind the Yeah Join the fun. I was in that um

Well, anyway, thanks for calling in. You got nothing. No, thanks for calling in Thanks for your uh email. We appreciate it. Good luck buddy. Good luck buddy. Josh. Yeah, josh um, anyway What a program What a day It was a good one. Oh, yeah, I feel good about it Um, anything you want to promote my friend? Uh, you can listen to the dollop podcast You can follow me at Reynolds gareth on social media and go to gareth reynolds.com for tour dates. I'm all over the place

Let's give him a round of applause guys. Thank you. Thank you. I love you so much. Thank you Hey guys, that was our episode with uh our new family member Gareth Reynolds. He's wonderful. Uh just reminded to all our patronages the exciting conclusion of our 18-year singing competition is up You can go watch it now at patreon.com slash tiger belly and you may have noticed we're not charged this month So get over there if you want to see the videos all the benefits remain free while bobby's busy And we don't have any new content to post but stay connected or sign up if you haven't to know When the vlogs start again and also the other stuff. Oh and other stuff little uh tidbits that we get Um, george, let's thank our sponsors hams brooklynnan and better help

It's time to write a new chapter one in which you have hair on durace right now tiger Really listeners to get their first visit absolutely free go to forehams.com slash belly So go on and get comfortable and get up for less at brooklynnan go to brooklynnan.com and use promo code tiger to get $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100 This podcast is sponsored by better help online therapy tiger really listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com slash belly And this podcast was also sponsored by kalilah going to hawaii Dang you guys. Thank you so much We paid for none of that, but we should because you came back ha ha happy

Thank you so much for letting me get away for a week. I'll I told her She should do that once every quarter once a quarter. That's all I get Okay, you want to go more look here's a deal You look at your different, you know, I can't go back to the philippines even though I usually go back every year Yeah, this is sort of like I don't know why it feels like home My friends there are incredible and um, you got big pecs They do

The funny thing is that when she was even saying that Wait, did you see him on that's why I said she she facetimed me while she was in a car Well, it was in the car with everyone. It wasn't just me by the way It wasn't oh, she was with the girl I was with everyone She was with the team girls all the girls all 50 of them people are gonna come for me for thinking I have a fucking no, I know she didn't even prompt this She was just on facetime and then like I everyone's saying hi to me like jewels and all the uh Her friends and it kind of pans to the driver a bit. The first thing I said was like, yo, who's pecs for those?

Because all you see is a driver It's all these like brown dark women and then you see these giant white pecs protruding You know white, he's a brown boy. Well, they're lighter skin than you Now he's a little darker than me But yeah, they were just like it's like his pecs for driving the wheel. That's how that's literally the first thing I said to you was like, bro, who's pecs for those? I was like, that's a chiseled man. That's an adonis not me. I want to go back with you gill I had such a blast at the the last time you went to hawaii me in the cyst and we'll say it for the hundredth time

Let's do another hawaii episode. George. Let's do it. No. Well, look there that island is struggling with their covid number So let's wait it out for a little bit and let's not yeah wink wink. Yeah We'll we'll wait it out. Let's be respectful of of of that to that's hawaii To my friend with the pecs my horny girlfriends who tried to fuck the men with the pecs And um, yeah, I'm happy to be back with you guys though. I miss you motherfuckers No, she was fuck that you're so happy to be in hawaii. Yeah, I was okay. All right. Bye That's all she did guys. She wanted to say shout out to hawaii. George any news we need to be aware of

Can your baby move side to side? He can flip from back to front and front to back, you know, it's uh talk about a gymnast right there And next uh next couple weeks. He'll be able to understand short sentences Is that According to the books. Okay. I was gonna say according to the books or all right. What have you been doing to prep your child gt5 gtk5 letting my wife do a lot of uh A lot of it. Well, uh, I'm glad that uh your child is developing nicely. That's um, that's good to hear Um guys, we just wanted to do a quick, uh

Housekeeping we haven't done in a while to remind you guys we love you and also unhelpful advice I've noticed people have been commenting like hey, where do we submit questions and you know what we haven't reminded you guys Where at george, where can we do that and what are first preference questions? Uh advice unhelpful at g Yeah adviceunhelpful at gmail.com. Yeah is the email address to send those to And let's go, uh, do we want to do any uh Go stories again. What do we want to get back into? Kala one. Oh my god. Can we cut out my my my shot of my feet just then?

Yeah, you know what? We actually do have to cut that out guys But you can check out our feet on her oldie fans that we will be forcing her to do And it will be feet photos. What can we expect there in this horse thing that we're making here? I need everyone's suggestions because Actually, no I mean, I don't have an only fans. I don't have an only no you're we're gonna make you one. We're doing it No, we're doing it. She just thought about everybody's suggestions. Yeah, she's like, I don't want to do this anymore I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it only but we're producing this fun friendly because suggestions

Yeah, like the same time you fucking made me wear the 399 Ross fucking lingerie and look And fans loved it and I'm about pleasing the fans. I don't care about your well-being We're we're fan forward here. So guys, let's talk about this. Here's the deal You have the next four episodes to convince me Draft up your business plan. Tell me why I need it. Tell me. Tell me how it's not going to negatively affect my life Also, you're right now. Tell me all the pros and I'll come back with all the cons and you have to be able to debate me on this because You guys know like I am a low maintenance bitch. I don't like to dress up. I don't like to do that. I don't like to fuck in Move she doesn't move something. I don't like to show my goods to just anybody

Which is why we'll be starting the price at 49 99 a person draft up your business plan And I will see at the end of those four episodes exactly four episodes. You have to convince me George, I already know how to do this. All we say is look every every quarter. We will give you an all-expense trip to hawaii Okay, honestly Fuck you might have already sold it and that's how you do it for the fans Um first photo shoot is in hawaii, you know what first photo shoot in hawaii actually we and it's actually spearfishing It's nothing crazy We'll take we'll have an underwater photographer

You don't have to dress skimpy or do any of that weird shit. You just fish and let us film it. That's all you do Damn, we sold her look at her face. It's in that mid-smile. Okay, let's end it Leave the room at a yes. All right guys. We love you so much. Bye I got some shout outs to Sean for like hello. Yes his buddy with a four month old and possibly his other buddy Who didn't say much? cool And tj from ladybird cafe. Here's a could I call an anecdote that annoyed me the other day? Do it do it do it. We went to t ladybird cafe love it and echo park shout out

And we were leaving And this guy was like, hey Love the podcasts. I was like, oh cool. Andres is here too. He was like, oh really Andres is here And that annoyed me to no end like for me. It was like cool. Love the podcast, dude Andres unfettered excitement Uh, so I feel the I hear the pain in your voice. Yeah, I heard it too. It started exciting You know what Andres just fucking back down. Let George have some of it. Okay. Let him have his joy. Andres, remember who built you Yeah, exactly. That's who built you. I created for hymns.com. He's not a lot like mincea right now. Okay. Bye

Are there any other secret announcements to look out for Just wait what yes or no what you I don't know. I don't think George the secret announcement that we will end right now. Enjoy the outro Hey Prime members, you can listen to tiger barely ad-free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad-free with wondery plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey