TigerBelly - Ep 315: Rosebud Baker and Bobo & Kholoko's Big Fight

Episode Date: September 22, 2021

Bobby gives his country club laugh. Rosebud is a Rising Star in a Rocket. Khalyla sees the texts. We talk speaking at the White House, the cult of family, and who's taller? Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Why are we matching for starters? We're not matching you kind of are your bro, right? I'm sure it's different colors I know, but it's not matching. Yeah, but you guys have you guys have matching color head accessories We share clothes. We do share clothes. Yeah, it also happens as a couple. I think you end up like dressing like you Well, um, do you share things with your partner? Yeah, like you share underwear. Well, let's again And I don't want to let's start and then yeah, okay, because I don't believe that he he's a weird-looking dude No, I mean, he's like, you know what kind of white he is He's the kind like

There will be blood in the sense that like there will be blood is exactly he's got like a fine Yeah, right. He's the kind of guy that a white dude that would be in a ditch somewhere with a fucking pickaxe He makes when my husband makes eye contact with me. He does not blink. Like it's yeah, yeah terrifying It's a he's a terrifying is a terrifying face. Yeah, yeah, but he's also like He's just there's nothing He's so funny to me because he's like he's shaped like a butler from the 30s Yeah, yeah, but he has a bit. Let's don't get let's go. I want to talk about Andy, but right go ahead start

Oh, also by the way unfair to him. He's gonna be I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck He's gonna be so I wanted to say this to him So long me too. I haven't had the balls to great. I really want to talk about him because he's a wretched looking human Just like you know, I always tell him like get your bird face away Yeah, yeah He's also looks like he's a hundred. Yeah, but he's or he could be six man. Yeah, he's a sickly man Yeah, he's also very has innocent eyes and yet also

Heroin, yeah, they're 1930. Yeah That is my husband Look up Andy Haines, I swear to God, that's my husband. Yeah. Yeah He looks like a manservant. Don't say anything until I bring your name up That's him Look at him. Look at him. That's him. Oh my god Look, it looks like I married him to cure him of cancer That is that's crazy. All right, go

All right, welcome, you don't have to even do the countdown Welcome to another episode of Tiger Belly I am your captain Bobby Lee and I really am grateful that we have this medium to share with our folks and our fans and to connect and I really bless you and take care and I love you and I enjoy all of it Um, I really I'm a grateful full of gratitude and I'm full of um, I just need to tell you guys, you know, I was at a taco place Pockato moss Disappointment yesterday and two girls came up to me. They weren't their masks and they go we live

We knew that we would um Run into you eventually and I go. Oh cool. I work. Where's Andrew So they wanted to see Andrew, right? They go, where's Andrew? We think he's cute. We have crushes on him You know, I mean, but still I get you know, I mean, I feel like you're a very crushable person I'm unfuckable What does that say about me though, I don't know what you get your eyes checked because I love a good boiled egg Why are you laughing it's so hard at that How many like nine of them like nine of them a day well, you're just one of them

I'm just one of them. You're my one of my little daily boiled eggs. I can see Anyway Anyway, I'm grateful to you Thank you everybody You know, we have a guest today and usually, you know, I've never met a munchkin before Okay, no, first of all, first of all, don't say anything until I say your name like I said in the rules, right? So I'm bringing you up, right? Mm-hmm. So she's a little munchko and And she's just you know, I mean the slur

Right walking around, you know That's that's a sound, you know, I think the first time I met her was at ATC or something Yeah, I looked at Mike Bernalina and I go why you have munchkos here. He's like, that's Rosebud big. I go Oh And then anyway, but she's very talented and I'll tell you how I know well first of all We've wanted her on the pod for a while. Yeah, there's a list of you know I I like the young new generation coming up are gonna be super talented and also, um, I'm not threatened by it I do think I'm threatened. Maybe I'm a little threatened by it. Yeah a little bit. Of course. Yeah make friends with the enemy

Yeah, I don't say anything. Well, I say I mean you've been talking about it for two minutes, right? This might be a while supposed to pretend. I'm not in the room, but she she has a Comedy Central special out on Comedy Central. I didn't think there was a network anymore, but it's on YouTube Bobby Yeah, yeah, it's on you. All right, and then she's Amaril did it. Joe List did it. Yeah She's associated with also our family ATC. We're an ATC podcast and You know, she's married to Some of that we're gonna talk about in a second That's just he's just twisted

Physically twisted Not mentally, but like he's just a wretched crotchety. Got a spine like a money tree Yeah, yeah, yeah Good luck though, but he looks like he has a big dong. He does if the 100% he does have a big dick. He's a big Yeah, dick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a big dick. Yeah. Yeah. He looks like it Yeah, I know dudes like that too dudes shaped like that. Oh, I always have big wretched dicks Yeah, that scare the fuck out of me. Yeah. Yeah, and it's probably pink. Is that it's red and angry? Yeah, but let's give her a round of applause rosebud baker

Thanks, guys. Thank you so much for doing our podcast. Thank you for having me. Thank you for letting me speak on it Yeah, let me just let let's I just wanted I don't want to talk about andy the whole time, but um Let's just so you have a husband named andy haze Hayes What's his name? Hayes like the underwear Andy Haynes. Mm-hmm, and I've always liked I think he's a very good joke writer. Great joke. Super kind too But what is it about him that you're attracted to please? Okay, so I met andy Like years ago at a new year's eve party and he walked up and he said hi. I'm andy. I'm also sober

Like a psychopath That's psychotic. I was like, okay. I'm gonna go hang out with people who are rolling and um and then I I Like I hung out with him a little bit in montreal when I was there for just for uh new faces and then I met him again at Dan st. Germain's wedding um

I didn't meet him again. Like I'd done his podcast at this point and I talked to him a little bit and he was very sweet and funny, but also like, um Oddly haunting, you know what I mean? Like his presence was haunting. Yeah And uh, it looks like somebody that like, you know that hotel in the shining Mm-hmm. Like he would be in one of the photo. Yes. He would be behind a shower curtain for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah like unblinking and Yeah, and I and I was we were the two the only two sober people at this wedding And we were the only ones dancing and we like danced all night and I was like together together

But it was totally just like goofy and ridiculous and I was like, I don't know why this this Man looks like a deck chair blowing in the wind. It is like the most insane thing I've ever seen But he's so goofy And silly that I was like, I I really don't want to like him, you know, I didn't want to Like him like that, but I was I was like, I never want to stop hanging out with him Oh, and I truly like that's what made it happen. I was like, I just have so much fun with him And he's so funny and so like he sent me a picture of him and my mom on the beach yesterday Because he went to go pick up our dog from her place

And he sends me this picture of him and my mom in front of a sunset and he just writes we're dating I'm like, my mom has no idea. He's taking that picture knowing what he's gonna say Right, but your mom probably loves him. My mom loves my husband so much that every time she talks about him She starts to cry Also that being said my mom will cry when she talks about a sunset or Oh Yeah, she's very sent it's a lot. I think at this point Bobby genuinely wants to be with my mom Yeah, out of me. Yeah, I love your mom so much. I know but think about

Like how much fun like how you can't stop because your mom is like a cooler version of you Because my your mom your mom in shape more buff So, you know your mom you right you have the thing about like my diet. Am I gonna die? She doesn't give a shit, right, right? She's like if you're gonna die, let's die together Yeah, and so it's like when we're alone, right? I look at your mom and I go and I always go What do you want to eat tonight? She goes, what do you want and she lets me order anything I want you want to go to mortons You want to go to boa? We'll get it delivered. No matter what the price is

No matter what it is. It's a deep just let let's fucking die together. Yeah, and I mean and that's what I love about your mom See, I think it's the opposite Andy loves my mom because my mom will sit with him on the couch and talk about her feelings and I Andy does that with me and I'll try I have moments with him where obviously I'm I'm open and vulnerable, but like It's not a lot. You know what I mean? It's hard to get in here and yeah and so I think he's just dying for someone to be like To like emote in front of him and she's some version of you Yeah, she is a version of me and and it's but it's a very emotional version

And I he's definitely softer than you are. He is you seem like even when I first met you. I was like that's a harsh Exterior. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard to yeah. I didn't like it. Yeah I was like, I don't like it. Yeah, people don't it's so funny because you were talking about Taylor earlier Taylor's so funny, but I I envy how Taylor is like Reachable like likable. There's something she's like you have the same fucking thing you fucking dingbat really? Yeah, you fucking moron. I don't think so, Bobby. I don't you do because no And I'm not forced. I'm not bullying you. I'll go okay. I'm not doing all right. I'm just saying that she is like She'll talk about her feelings more and I

I will talk about my feelings as long as they are angry. You know what I mean? Yeah, but it's a defense mechanism. Yeah, fully, but you can see that. Yeah, it's not who you are. It's just the way you Do you how you do your comedy? Yeah, right? And also it's like I know that comedy clubs are the worst environment For women. It's so difficult and you had to create this fucking persona to survive Yeah, right. You're not a bitch that did maybe I don't know. I don't think you are. No, you're a bitch down below No, I don't think so. Yeah, I don't think so. I think it's uh, it's one of those things that happens where You know, you put out a comedy special and everybody talks about your fucking outfit and it's like what the fuck

I know like it's like that's all they have to say and you're like I wrote good jokes I know I wrote good jokes and all you're talking about is my fucking jeans like eat my dick. Yeah. Yeah So that's I'm like suck me. Yeah. That's how I feel Yeah, I and so it it it does like come from I'm being treated like it's it's like you don't want to be treated like a woman In a man's space So you just start to act like a fucking man After a while like I'm a man now. It's comedy made me this way. I am too. Also. I'm yeah

I'm not an people some people think I'm a bully and an alpha male, which I'm not He's a softy. I'm a softy. I'm also like emotional. He cries more than I cry a lot, right? But I think comedy made me aggressive because when I first moved to LA in the 90s, right? Comics would come up to me and go Asians aren't funny Like straight up to my face. Yeah, that was a time when they would be like we already have an asian guy here Yeah, right, and I'd go up and I would see the audience. I mean the other comics leave the room Right, and it's like and I they would make fun of me all the time and it's like I'm from the suburbs. I'm weak You know, yeah, you know I track homes. That's what I'm used to right right and and and and I love country clubs

You know that you know how I love country club. I went to one with Jean did our day was really nice I know you FaceTime me from there. Yeah. Yeah, did you do? he um Oliver Hudson introduced him to a country club over the by the museum over there. What's it called? The white museum the getty. I love how you use your country club voice. I know your voice I know while talking about country clubs. Hello, and he he has a membership He showed his membership card and we sat there and then um

This guy Jay who's from um super troopers Okay, you know, it's Jay. Yeah, I love the movie. He directed. Um, Joe Coy's new movie. He sat with us for a bit There's other celebrities and we say hello. Oh It's just be quiet And also I was like there's a gift store. So I was thinking about maybe getting some I'm gonna barf on the mic I'm gonna barf on this. I'm new like khakis or something Yeah, the new stuff and um, I just kind of like being you know with my little You know, I mean a little spritz spitzer water

Little raspberry spitzer water, right? Sipping it and just Just living and doing the I love doing the laugh never heard you laugh like that, but I do in country clubs, right? Yeah, gee would make a job. I go That was dandy. I love the word use dandy. I use dandy and um, I just like he's using like white words From the 30s. Yeah. Yeah Uh, tuberculosis. Is that a white word consumption? Yes. Yeah. That was a thing. What is tuberculosis? It's a lung infection. It must be terrible. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway I don't know why I went on a country club. I think but the thing is is that that's who I am

but Comedy has made me aggressive And we use our defense mechanisms. Yeah, because it's dark. Anyway, oh another thing to a nice person Um rosebud, are you the type to overshare when you're nervous and just throw it all out there? Or are you more like keep stuff in? No, I won't tell anyone anything if any I'm more like I'll just I'll get The lay of the land first And then if I feel good, I'll open up. You know what I mean? Yeah, like I was on I I did ktla this morning and I got I closed my computer and I was like, who was that like

Oh, really? It was about who was I just now? It was the most I was smiling the whole time and my voice was really high Country club. I did this weird like country club. You it was like I was auditioning for a commercial. It was the weirdest Yeah version of myself and I I shut the computer and I was just like, oh like I I hope that's not the rest of my day Yeah, you know and uh So I I can sort of shape shift. I I grew up like with money around wealthy white people and you and you just don't you don't talk about your feelings like that Oh, so you grew up in a an affluent very much. So yeah, my granddad was like, uh worked in the white house He was like secretary of state for george bush senior. What what gym baker? Yeah, is your is my grandfather

I have a picture wait. I have a picture right now. Can I ask you this? Yes? I've always wanted to know Is gym baker sober? No, okay? No, not at all because I'll tell you why Okay, because it was a gym baker in my men's meeting in san diego and I always they looked exactly the same It's always thought that maybe that was him, but no, it's not right, but I know who gym baker is So you come from heavy political pedigree succession. Yeah That's my family. Yeah, I let me see the photo. I'll show you the photo your country club ain't shit I know this is the real thing. I literally have a photo of me at the white house with george bush senior

On christmas. No, no, no. Yeah. Yeah Oh my god, and where are you? That's you right there. Yeah Oh my god, yeah, you're really a part now. Is your grandfather still alive? Uh, yeah, he's still alive. Does he know what you do? Yeah Is he is he proud? I mean I wouldn't call it that. I mean, maybe I don't know. I really don't know I it does. Wow. We look exactly the same in Facial that's actually terrifying. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's your granddad. Yeah. That's insane. Yeah

So, um But he knows you do comedy, right? He knows I do comedy. He he has seen a couple sets. I talked about him in one of my sets uh And because I had to address it like I can't not Like I couldn't talk at all about politics without talking about that first because that set the stage for How I felt like my political affiliation and where I was Going to go and like he's a republican. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah and staunch. Yes. Yeah, and wouldn't like Weirdly like wouldn't come out against trump wouldn't like did the whole like towed the party line like like republicans do and

it was uh It was a very weird thing to I kept trying to ask like how do you feel about this and The worst thing that he would say is that he's he's like at least half crazy That's that's all he said Yeah, but he wouldn't he wouldn't really ever speak ill of him and uh, and my granddad is is like that. He's a he's a politician Like he is a politician through and through but you know how he really feels No, no, I mean you really don't no I I've had a lot of experience with giving men more credit than they deserve

And I I just I can't really do that. You know what I mean? I can't go Well, he know this is how he really I don't know how he really feels. Oh It's a lock. It's a locked box. You know what he's like my my dad I mean my dad was korean and I had to knew nothing about how he felt about anything. Yeah, and it's just a locked box Yeah, and there's no way to figure it out. You know, I'm sure deep down inside there is stuff But it's buried and I'm just don't have the time or willing likes like that's like Dave Cho one of our friends He's in his 40s now and he's finally in a place where he feels like he doesn't know his father Even though like he's close to his father, right and they um, you know, he went up to his father

And he was like hey like I want to know who you are. I want to know your feelings Like are you open to that or do you want to keep it as is? Yeah, the dad was like keep it as is. Yeah. He's like, no, we're have on there. Yeah. Wow. Yeah If you were homeless right Could you call your granddad and go can I stay with you guys for a couple weeks? Yeah, I'll get good. Yeah, I could do that. You could do that. I could reach out to his secretary I am email his secretary. Oh, really? Can you send me his number?

Because I I don't have his number even I don't have his number. I mean, I should have his number. My sisters have his number Yeah, but I don't I just don't call him that often and like I Have a very complicated relationship with family where I'm just like I don't know the value of family like as a person I don't understand Our connection to it. My my husband's helping me try to like wrap my mind around you Like he's like, what is wrong with you? He's like

Like it's your family and I'm like, yeah, but that's what everybody says. What so I'm like, so what? I didn't pick them, you know, like they're not people that I chose To surround myself with that's all of us with the rosebud brain. I know but I see what you're saying though It's like, you know the idea that we sort of have this like unsaid obligation to one another is sort of bullshit because it's like We shouldn't be that tethered to one another. Let's say like I was molested by family. Why does right? But that's what I'm saying family gatherings. Everyone just sweeps it under the rug and they're like, well, he's family And I'm like, yeah, but he fisted me when I was eight years old Whoa

And I'm supposed to just eat fucking pig with him, you know, like yeah, let's go with him. Yeah Right. It's like it's a cult. Yeah, it's a cult. It's a fucking cult and I'm like, it's not family though It's not like I mean, I there's certain people in my family that I really love because I love being around them as people Who do you love the most in your family? Oh god, I feel my sister Jackie is like the funniest bitch. I've ever met I just I cannot she did she never means to be funny. She's just very earnest and um kind of dorky And just like we'll walk up to you while you're eating breakfast and like throw her twat on the table and be like Is this mole weird? Yeah, I love that. I'm staring into your pussy. So you choose her even if she wasn't your sister I would I would choose. Yeah, I would hang. I always think that I'm like I would always hang out with her

Even if she wasn't my sister because she is Even even like her lies and her deceptions are funny to me Like the way she tries to lie to get out of shit is so funny. Yeah, she got sent to rehab in high school and uh While she was there, she told everybody that she tried heroin and I was in the car with her and I was like, dude You never did heroin. Yeah. Yeah, and she was like, no No Yes, I did and I was like, no, you didn't like you didn't get heroin. Yeah, I can tell. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean?

And she was just it was just like I got why she did it Yeah, she wanted to seem like the hardest bitch in rehab, right, but it just never I was like it That's not you like you're you're earnest like you there's an earnestness about you that is so Enduring to me. That is kind of cute though. Do you know that I dated a boy that lied about going to Sri Lanka for no Fucking reason at all. Dude, that was me when I was drinking. I would tell Wait, wait. He was he went. Yeah, I lived in Sri Lanka. No, he I swear to you. I was like, yeah, you know because I was talking about how I like I had been to Indonesia when I was younger

Because I grew up in Asia blah blah blah And he was like, oh, yeah, yeah, he's like, I love that area. I've been to South Asia I love that area. And he was like, yeah, I've been to Sri Lanka. I was there for like, you know, three months Big who's the biggest liar you've ever met? You exactly I'm the king of lies. Yeah, I know every I like about everything But the thing with you is I always know I know you sound like an obvious liar like you don't seem like you have a game face You kind of do a huge fight. Look, can we talk about our big fight?

Without it getting personal. Let's get personal And let her be the judge. Oh, you can be the judge. Yeah, okay Yes Okay, let's let's be fair. Okay. Okay Let me start No, do you get a rebuttal or wait, but it wasn't your idea. It doesn't matter if she gets to address the jury first I know if we're in court, let me start. Okay. I'm the one. I'm the defendant draw first blood. Go ahead Okay, okay. So let you need to know some history. All right. You need to know you need to know some history

Okay, so her like I don't want to bring up certain things, right? Because I just don't like fighting with her Yeah, I don't like bickering. I don't rarely do right Excuse me. It's I have the court. Okay, right I I don't like confrontation. I if you know, I mean, I've never done anything wrong That's absolutely not true. I mean, I've never really really done anything really wrong Uh fact check. Yeah checks out. Thank you so much. All right. He's a part of my council. Well, can't argue with that logic Looks good. Are we talking about the Hawaiian story? Yeah. Okay. Good. I've never done anything wrong. Okay. So here we go Never first piece of evidence. I'm not gonna name any names. I don't want to get any trouble, right?

Okay, but I know some okay, so here are the names So when I'm in Hawaii, right I'm there to shoot a show A network show, right? I know a guy who's a very one of my best friends, right who is High up in he's not an actor, but he on the other side of the camera. Okay. Let's just say producer, right? and we were we were talking about um He goes Remember that one girl that played your wife in that one episode and I go I don't even remember as he goes She he goes. Oh, she was pretty hot and I go

I don't remember her being hot. So he sends me her A modeling photo of her and I link to The the website of the model thing. Okay. Okay. He sends you backup info Just remind me what she looked like. Uh-huh. So then I could you know how that's bio that how bros do. Yeah Oh, yeah, dog. She was hot whatever, right? Yeah Yeah, so I'm at dinner with everyone and I open up my phone and it just happens to be on a photo of You mean he's out. No, she's it's a modeling photo with her, you know lingerie or whatever. Yeah, and she's like this and she's beautiful Right, it's like this. I mean beautiful. Yeah, I'm in the way

Can you do it one more time? Yeah, but not the way Oh, yeah, it looks like a flamingo broke its leg Anyway, sorry, I'm sorry. So anyway, she sees the photo because we're both on your phone together Right. She sees the photo and I go. What did I say? And then you just swiped out of it. I swiped out of it and I said we were with the family and I was like No big deal. I like let it go. I let it go. But so what I did. So what I did then right was that I texted And I go Yo, dude, could they know each other?

And I knew they were going to see each other too. So I go yo, dude, you know If she ever asks about that picture Just say it's a girl that you're interested in because he's single. Okay, right, right, which is that's so funny because it's coming from a The worst guilty place. I know. Yeah, right because I want to get into it, right? So then what I do then Oh my god, just see it out. I erase That text message. Okay, right Right. Dumb Dumb didn't know I had already read that text message. No, no, but what Dumb Dumb didn't know is that when you text Right and you erase the text from your phone on your ipad if they're linked. Yeah, it doesn't erase. Yeah, I've read all of Andy's

Right. Yeah, so then she confronted me. She's like Well, I was this is where I was a little that's my back. That's my back. That's so there we go. Here's what I want to know I don't care Who she is what she is to him. I just want to know how far he'll take the lie. Uh-huh. So that that was my yeah Here we go. Go because it's like, okay And so we come back from Hawaii. I had not even mentioned anything about this person at all Right. I was on his ipad dealing with his business as I do because I take care of him in a lot of ways Yeah, and I was like

What was up with that picture? Go to the messages and I look at the message and it said hey, dude um If Kalilah asks say it's a girl you're into So I'm like, so now it seems weird now. It seems very weird. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah And so I shut the ipad and he's in the tub with his rubber duckies Like over there I said I was like, hey, I was like not a big deal. But I was like, but what was up with that?

You know, who was that like right? And he was like, oh, it was nothing and then he starts to get really defensive or whatever. Yeah, it starts panicking. Yeah And I was like, well, then let me read your text That's what I asked him. Mm-hmm. He goes, okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Go grab my phone And so he goes over To get his phone and you can see him just frantically trying to know I had already no Here's what you get mistaken. You're already already erased it. I had already erased that message, right? So I didn't look into the message, right? I just was like, I'm safe because I erased that message, right?

I gave her the phone, right? Yeah, and she goes You erased it and I go no, I did it. I was like your ipad No, but no, no, but that but my denial was five minutes long. You didn't do the ipad yet He tried. I did. I go. I swear to god On life. What did you say? I swear it on your mom. He's like, I swear it on my mom's life. Oh my god Yeah, yeah, I know. I know. I swear on your mom's life. And I was like, are you sure, baby? He's like, I swear, babe Yeah, on my mom. I think I went to my mom on my mom's life. Yeah, she could have died my mom That's the that's the worst when you when you're like

You're like, how Terrified are you right now that you'll just you'll get in a corner and you'll be like my whole family could die I know I swear to god. You know, that's what it was. Yeah, but at the end of the day If you just really look at it, it's it's a nothing burger. Dude Honestly, that's half my problem in my life is me Feeling guilty for no reason because I'm a fucking addict and I just lie because I feel guilty for existing Yeah, like and also I have a past of just like doing a lot of shit wrong So

I'll like I'll be run into somebody on the street. Where are you going the gym and it's like I'm not going to And I don't even know this person. I just don't want them to know where I am Yeah, it's the weirdest like and my husband's also an addict. So we're we just lie to each other back and forth Yeah, and when one of us catches the other one, it's like There's too much ammo For the other one to hit back with it's like well, this is this is just like the time you did this All right, and it's like well, but with this one it ended, right? But it's like, you know, but at the end

But no, I'm not I'm fine But I get it I get it too because I'll see Like one of andy's exes text him right and she'll like text him like Pictures of them why I don't know But I hope she hears this I'm like, please stop I I it's really like yeah, and I don't think that they have a relationship like that I don't think they have like a I don't think she's trying to get in with him or anything like that. I really don't

But it is like one of those things where I'm like, this is not appropriate. You know what I mean? Yeah, and I unless you guys are friends like I I are you really jealous. I don't know her you're not jealous of me and she'll she'll DM me sometimes But I don't know her that's also like a kind of um, it's bound to attack That's a new tactic. He does he follows all of my exes and I don't like it. Yeah. Yeah It's like a weird jealousy thing. Yeah, but also wanting to show that here like I'm cool, but I'm cool with it Yeah, and maybe it's genuine. Maybe, you know, maybe I'm like jumping to I maybe I'm thinking the worst of the situation But it is one of those things where I'm like, ew, you know, and I don't want to bring it up because I don't want to look insane

I don't want to look like somebody who's like Crazy. Yeah, but it it's like, uh, yeah, that is I just I have a message then. Yeah, I don't know her name, but As far as I see it, right? You're a rising star And I can see why she's jealous I don't look at me right now. You're a rising star Bobby, let's stop right now. Let me just say I'm being bullied. I'm not being bullied. I'm giving you compliments I'm giving you it's bullying with compliments Oh, no, I'm not bullying you. All right. Let me just look at me and accept it. Okay. Okay. So, um, look at me right now, right?

You right? Just look right this is my passport photo this Okay, no, no, it's not it's a rocket. Okay, right. They're not good Your rocket, you know what she is she's just the thousands of other people Right, and she's like, no, it's not it. Shut the fuck up. All right. You know who you know who's in the rocket Little Andy with his crooked spine Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, and she's like, what about me? All right, and you're it's you can't even hear her

Because you're a fucking rocket. Yeah, baby. You know what I mean? Yeah So I don't know her name, but look at me if you're listening right now, right? Not what you're doing because it's sad and he's never gonna leave Okay, she's They both won the lottery with each other. You heard about the dancing story at the wedding. Yeah You know they were dancing giggling it up. You didn't have a relationship like that with Andy. You were a glum lot Like they say in the in the book. What is it a glum lot? in the A book

Oh my god, and you don't have it So go find some other guy You know what I mean? Yeah, that does delivery. I don't know. I mean I'm sure Delivery's a good job. Good job. I'm sorry. I think I think I don't wish this person any ill I really don't but I'm like, you don't want you to die. Just fuck off a little bit. Yeah, fuck off. Yeah Fuck off. Yeah, fuck out of the door, but don't die. Just like be yeah. Yeah. Take a nap. Yeah, you know So you were telling me earlier, um So that's a message to you whatever you're landing with this crookie spot

The funny thing is my husband's like six foot two. Yeah, he's like this huge towering man that I just dominate But he's but also I have to say And I was never gonna say this because I don't like giving that many compliments. But what do you mean? No, I that's that's just a sound I make So I want to say um That a lot of times when you see two comedians together, there's always like one person that just not as good Yeah, and

Luckily in our lives we have a couple. I'll give you an example We have Tom and Christina They're both to me at that same level and I have to say that you and Andy Are on the same level because even way before You know what you guys you did your stupid fucking white dance at the fucking. Yeah, we're like happy white Yeah, it was a white dance privileged white people giggling it on a you know what I mean? We're sober Even before that I used to check that guy out and go wow that guy's legit You know what I mean? So you guys are very both very talented. He's very funny

It's like uh infuriating actually, but I did want to ask you um about could we talked about earlier? I don't know if it's you want to talk about anymore, but the loss of your sister great segway I just want to say That segway was wild dude. What a I didn't know how else to do it. I went for rocket Honestly, I thought you were gonna ask like hey, should we see if who's taller because that that oh, maybe let's do that part Let's start there first. Let's do that part, right? Okay. You say you're five three Mm-hmm. I'll I'll give you an example. I'll go to say something right we can jump into the dead

No, no, no, no, no. How about this? Okay, we're gonna do the we're gonna check each other's height and then it's your Responsibility to bring is to find a segway to bring up my dead sibling Okay, that's a great challenge But I want you to do it in the most organic way you can because I didn't do it Okay, but if I don't here's another rule. Yeah, I'm gonna throw it in there if I don't bring it up organically Yeah, you have to say you have to make a sound and I have to find another time. I'll go I'll go okay Wait, you tell everyone you're five three you said I'm five three. All right So I don't want to get you because of COVID. Let's not get too close, but stand up. Okay, but I'm double back back back

That's how back to back back to back. Oh, I think she's taller. Yeah Wait, hold on. Let's see. Yeah, I'm looking at your eyebrows. Yeah, I have a very, um, short take the beanie is very deceptive. Take it out Should I take my shoes off? Because he's he's got some Oh I think bobby by like half an inch. Yes Half an inch literally it's angled like barely. Wow. Wow. God damn it. Yes. Wow. This loss reminds me of my sister At a doctor's. Yeah, so that's legitimate. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. All right, so, um

Um, congrats. Thank you. What else is going on? Well, as I said, um That loss that devastating loss to bobby lee Reminds me of the tragic, uh loss of my sister. Yeah, I'm so When you said that before we started recording. Yeah, I just you know, you don't have we don't have to talk about it But I just feel like it's I do talk about it in the special. I joke about all you do. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, just briefly tell me what happened So my sister drowned and she drowned at a high school graduation party for my high school graduation

For your for my graduation. So but the party was not at our house the party was at someone else's house And I had left the party early to go to a different party, which I thought was better Um, wow, and uh, turns out it was a better party because no one died Objectively I picked the better party. Yeah Um, but I so I remember getting this call and my sisters They dropped a couple of my other sisters off with me and they told me like something bad happened and like, uh Graham is in the hospital and I just thought I was like, oh shit. Like something in me I just knew something really really really bad had happened and I drove them all back and

um And it turns out that my sister was playing in the pool And then there was a hot tub connected to the pool grew up with money And she had jumped from the pool into the hot tub And the drain from the hot tub had like her hair had gotten stuck in the drain And like three grown men. Yeah, couldn't pull her. Yeah, I've heard about shit like this Yeah yeah, so

obviously lots of like I left I left high school to go to college And my family my parents had separated earlier that year Then my sister died then my dad brought his like new girlfriend to the funeral. Oh, and it was like Oh, everything was just like You know like

So it it like in my mind None of like this my sister dying wouldn't have happened in my mind if if we weren't there and To be fair like that's true, right? I've like talked to my therapist about this so many times where I'm like But it but we wouldn't be there if it weren't for my and he's like trying to explain to me that like you're not he's like you realize that you think you're god on some level like you think and it makes sense to me because When all this shit happened at the same time, I

immediately It was like seared into my brain that everything can have can change in like a second like your whole world can just like Like fall to pieces And so I started I have this overdeveloped sense of responsibility for others and for The things that happen in the world outside of my control outside of the realm of my control But it's all because it's easier for me to blame myself than to accept the fact That everything can change that quickly. Yeah, you know

so it was like It it kind of was a catalyst for me to Start drinking and I had started a little bit earlier than that just because You know my parents had separated and I was like kind of acting out, but Then I went to college and I just I really started to drink And uh, I was a little bit of a workaholic and a little bit of like a drinker But then when I left college, I like really yeah moved to New York and was just like let's fucking turn it off Like yeah, just really went to town with it. Wow. Yeah

Wow. Yeah, I know I just so good night guys I mean, I just um Yeah, so sorry, thank you. Yeah, I really am so sorry um If you cry bobby, I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry. I almost did I almost did because um, you know, um I can't imagine also You know because I think the alcoholism is a gene a crazy gene that we had so it's probably, you know, I mean in you Oh, for sure. And just it was just inevitable. Yeah, you know, it was it was from it was me

I probably would have died. I wouldn't be able to deal with it. There's just no way. Yeah, it just seems so traumatic with and I didn't even realize That your parents were going through a divorce your dad bringing his new girlfriend to the funeral is a weird Yeah, it's a fully succession Yeah, it's really like uh And if you were to ask him about it, he would have been like, well, when else was I going to introduce you? You know what I mean? Like my dad is like my dad is like a psychopath. Yeah, yeah, but he's also the only he is why I'm funny like he's

Like everything that's out of my mouth. That's funny is like my dad's Sensibility, you know, yeah, I have that too. My mom is the funny one. Yeah, my mom's very funny Yeah, and I get the timing and the silliness. Yeah, and the weirdness from her, you know, the way she dances and you know, she um She used to go to the mall. I said this before but you know the fucking fountain in the mall Yeah, she used to just wait in it like take her clothes off and in the middle of the mall Yeah, it's like not a pool. You know, and she would take the penny and she would take the penny and she would take the penny Take the pennies from the ground and like pocket them. That's amazing. Yeah, and she's like that Yeah, kooky and weird in that way and I I get that from her. So you get that from your dad. Yeah

I mean, I get how many sisters do you have? I have uh four sisters total three surviving sisters And how did they deal with your sister dying? everyone had a different like reaction to it and I'm like it's so Interesting because when you come from wealth like Like grief is such an overpowering emotion But there is something very funny about seeing people seeing it play out in

In a family where like country club etiquette is the thing You know what I mean? It's like grief through the prism of a country club. Like it was just You know, my mom tried to get everybody on board for therapy And like had us all like going to this therapist and like group therapy. Yeah, my sister Turned all of it inward, you know, I don't want to get into her like personal but like I

Shut down and really just was like get I'm getting the fuck away from here because I felt so guilty That my instinct was just like run One as far away from that as possible and to the point where I was like getting diagnosed as like bipolar and Because I wouldn't I there's Therapists to this day that think that I have for a live sisters because I just wouldn't touch it in therapy like I did Oh, wow. Yeah, like I was just like not going to talk about that and wouldn't touch it And so I was getting diagnosed as like bipolar and I'd be like that's great. Perfect now. I'm

I'm not sad. I'm just creative. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah Like that's how I saw it and I would happily trade in like mental illness at that time for grief Yeah, because I didn't want to touch it. Yeah, it was just like no, thank you and And I just I really was born with like a a gift for deluding myself I'm really good at like whatever lie I make up. I I can make myself believe it Yeah, you know, that's uh to peas in a pod You're very similar. I'm very similar too. Yeah, and I think that's a lot of where your addiction comes from too. Yeah. Yeah, it's um Wow, and then um

Did you get sober first and then do stand up? Yeah, I got sober first and I always I always wonder like how people like my husband got he started stand up and then got sober Yeah, and I'm always just like amazed by that. I'm like that's so impressive to me um, I I was sober six years before I started wow stand up amazing and when I started I was like I don't want this to be my life

Like I didn't want to be a stand up. I didn't want to be funny. I actually found the whole thing to be kind of embarrassing Yeah, and uh, but my dad was like you're funny Yeah, like you're funny. What I find it interesting because um You know, I I was sober for six years before it was a five. No Wait, so let me just Six years before I did stand up. Yeah, and so I was very active, right? So I got sober when I was 17 I started standing when I was 23 when I found that um stand up kind of was a I was able to replace It's not healthy

but replace stand up with 12-step groups, right? Like it for some reason for me it fixed me. Yeah in the right kind of way where it's like I felt like I didn't need to do that other stuff anymore and I kind of drifted away from it because it felt Spiritually it's weird like when you get when you're young like myself. I was an incel number one Couldn't get laid this weird sober guy that would go to a lot of meetings A lot of a lot of friends doing manual labor this and that I really had no future And then when I was 23 and I started doing stand up my world completely just kind of opened up

Right and changed and then so it felt spiritual. Yeah when it was just artificial, right? Right. I mean there is I think there is something spiritual about finding out what you're meant to do Right like that's that was that part of it was very spiritual where I all the everything From years back started to make sense where I was like, oh like not being able to ever sleep Right like as a kid. Yeah, never wanting to go to bed. Yeah, and just like just Literally like abusing my sister trying to keep her up at night. Yeah to play with me when she's like I I want to go to bed, you know. Yeah, um and then like Always standing out always feeling weird always making people laugh and not knowing why and being haunted by those moments

You know just really haunted. Yeah, I remember being this is crazy, but I remember being at the white house For that's a crazy. It's just a thought to say that. Yeah, I've never been there. Yeah, it's what is it like? It's a rental. Um Yeah, but yeah, isn't nice No, it's like Elvis Presley's house. It's sad. It's depressing. Yeah. Oh, I see it's all ghosts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway so I remember being there and uh For some big dinner that my parents had like brought me for and they always wanted me to be like as impressed as they were With the but I just didn't care. I was like, this is like work. This is like your work and I don't care about it

But there it was a big dinner and I loved food So I was like, we're all gonna eat and the president's gonna be there and I I I tried to make a speech Right. I was like I was like eight and I like started banging my glass with my fork and I stood on my chair and I was like um George and I just went like I called president bush George in the whole

Room started like dying laughing. Oh, wow. Yeah, and I remember being was george listening. Yeah, he was there That's amazing. Wow. I was humiliated. I remember the feeling in my stomach just being like Oh, like I I wanted to crawl into a hole the Like people laughing and you not meaning for them to Is like that's the worst so

I remember all of those moments and it all just made me go. Oh, okay. This is why I'm doing this right Like I am I never fit in the world that I was born From yeah, but I found this group of people that are like My they're like broken toys and we all just sort of fit together Even though none of us if you saw any of us just walking down the street together You'd be like, how do they know each other? Yeah. Yeah, you know, like there's certain people that I I'm like, I would never have met you

From in the world that I was in. Yeah. Yeah It's funny because like unintentional I used to have a problem with Unintentional and unintentional laughs Like where I wasn't trying like as a kid when I wasn't trying to be funny. Mm-hmm. But then I think I'm just intrinsic. Just just hear me out, right? Because when I was in the sound of music, I've told I've said I was in the sound of music And I played Kurt. Okay. Okay And I remember like I don't know

I don't know how you say that like we all know who Kurt is Kurt's the middle kid son in the in the Von Trapp family Okay. Yeah, he said it like he was like the main role You're like and I played Kurt as we all know All right, if you're into the sound of music, you know who Kurt is. Yeah, can I say that? Yeah So there's a there's a scene where Fraulein Maria is whistled like no, but the father Von Trapp Is making the kids come down these spiral. Yeah, there's Kurt. That's the middle one. Yeah, that's the middle one. That's Kurt So imagine like this is a German family Yeah, this is a play. Yeah, and it's an all-white school pretty much

And imagine Von Trapp blowing the whistle and the kids and as soon as the they could see me Yeah, it's just people just an applause break. Yeah like people I remember white people in the on the holding their sides Like black people watching a white production of the whiz Yeah, yeah, and I remember going, you know, I mean I am Kurt. I whatever the line is. I am Kurt. I'm 13

You know, I mean I walk with it and just the play you could hear the the the walls tremble with laughter Yeah, and I I remember going I'm not purposely doing this. They're laughing at me. Yeah But I've thought about it if it what but if there was any other Asian kid I don't think it would have gotten the last no, it's the way I am Yeah, the way I walk it is the way I Reacted to it. Maybe there was something hammy that I did that was weird You are a ham right a big ham. I'm sure so to me. It's like I know I'm indirectly getting the last

But I think it's because there's something intrinsically that's how I justify it in my head. Yeah, right So I think that it was a before I thought you know when I was growing up a negative thing But in retrospect, I think it's a positive thing. That's a really good way to look at it actually like I never thought about it that way that maybe if if another kid I think any Any kid calling the president George is pretty funny like but I but I I think first of all a kid would never do that That's the number what you don't realize is that what you did at that thing. I wouldn't have done that nobody here would have done that Yeah, yeah, it's only rose rosebud baker that did that

Yeah, so my point is is that and I think deep down inside by you doing that, you know Even though you don't really can't can't justify it in your mind or even know what the root is you know what you're doing I think yeah, I think you're an organic performer, right? And I think that's what that's like The earliest signs of it. Yeah, it's just getting a laugh and and you might not know why but then I realized like With comedy you don't always know why the laugh comes But if you just keep repeating the same thing That gets that laugh it gets it every time that happens all the time, right? I've tried new jokes And I go this is the part where it's gonna be funny. Yeah, but they laugh at this part and then you realize

Oh, that's the joke. Yeah, right? So you cut out this part, right? Right, and you keep that so it there's it happens in stand-up as well. Yeah happy accidents. Yeah, right? And maybe that's what that thing was as a kid. Yeah, I mean maybe you were always, you know, like a rocket A star It's just a little rocket. You hear that andy pains ex-girl. You don't have a chance lady Not a chance. He's gonna kill me Call it a day. Oh my god. Damn it rosebud. Does andy like me? He does. He loves honestly. He loves I love how you asked that. I'm really so needy. You wouldn't know that though. I understand why you're asking the question

Yeah, you know why I'm asking because andy will look at you and he wants so badly To connect with people right and and to like and so but he'll try to do it Like talking about geography and stuff and I'm like andy You gotta stop talking about like roads that people Grew up on. You know what I mean? I gotta stop. He's he studies maps all the time. I'm like you are special and And so he doesn't people don't get how much he wants to connect with them Yeah, and so I get it when people go do and does andy like me. I'm like, yes

Trust me. No, I already like you more than you know. I think I know he does Yeah, I think I know because every time he sees me he always says hi to me even when You know before when he was newer. Yeah, he still had the confidence Because I've been around for a long time. Oh, I'm turned 50 this week. Do you really? Yeah friday. Holy shit Yeah, 50 years old 50 years old. Is that crazy? How old are you? I'm 36. Yeah, yeah, right when you said that a fly A fly came out around your face. It must be close to death. Yeah, what happens to my dad? Oh, yeah, that's actually it looks like a mosquito. Where's my dad at? You make your dad a spider Or did you or a fly? Where is papa?

Here, let me go get papa. I mean oppa You got my dad Would you like to meet him uh rosemary. Is this ashes? Yeah, you're bringing your your dad's ashes out This is my dad. It's I think the ashes are locked in you can't oh my god. Yeah, there's not a thing You know, I mean, have you tried? No, there's definitely this I've never rid the bottom This package contains the cremated remains of robert hun Lee And the cremated friday august 23rd 2019 at the east valley crematory

Mesa, arizona for a wise question. Shit only happens when I'm around Like you want to see my dad? But it's is that unbelievable that his but you know what I always say though It really isn't it's like half my dad right because it's like how many do they say that in front of him? I know, but I'm just saying I'm sure that like when you put the body in the the cremator Yeah, there's still ashes from like other people's bodies. I always think about that. I'm like you probably mixed it up They mixed it. We need to we need to get to the bottom of this. Yeah Um, because my dad was also cremated. Ashed out. Yeah

He asked that out dude. My dog was was cremated and I opened the ashes. I wanted to see Oh my god. If there was like I I don't know why I did it But I was like I started thinking that same thing. I was like how much of this is like somebody else's dog And like what was your dog's name? Alabama. Oh cute. When did alabana die? She died in 2018 Would you have um paid to get her cloned? Uh, she was kind of a nightmare like temper mentally. Okay, that's the reason why we We have a nightmare dog. Did you have her since she was a puppy? Yeah Yeah, but it was just she was like eight months old. So I got her from the pound

and she was like Crazy like she and then when I found out she had had a brain tumor. I was like Oh, that's why she was crazy. Yeah, but like Oh my god, I love this dog so much. She was so fucked up and I loved her so much So we have we got a dog named remi. We got him. He was seven We got him when he was seven and he would he'd obviously been molested and burned and be really just He's a molester, right?

He really certainly was. I didn't say it. I did say it but there's certain things I do and make them nervous I just say that Right. I just I have a gut feeling right, but um, he's been burned. You know, I mean raped and all that stuff Right. Is that too much? No, listen. It happens. Dog rape is a thing Yeah, but he's and we like whenever I look at remi because he sleeps next to us Yeah, and I go you want the lottery because we're just the best. Yeah, we give him the best food We give him everything beds. Yeah, he's old and toothless now. Yeah, and he's an old toothless man We wonder if yeah the reason that we want to clone him is because

I want to know A happier version of him without the abuse and without having him like oh, see I didn't know You could do that. I didn't get $80,000. Korea doesn't really well. It's 50 now. They dropped the price $50,000 You can have your dog cloned as a pop or you could just donate the money and adopt Here's the thing though. I think that's setting yourself up for Here's because when you have a dog who is like crazy like that. Yeah That's so much of who they are Like it's like that's if I had Bama without like without the experiences of her like lunging at the color blue

I don't know that I would you know, love her the same. Yeah, I don't know if I would love her the same It was like it was a labor of love. Like it was very hard to have her But my dog now charlie. He's just like the happiest idiot. He's just like happy birthday You know and I'm like I love him. Yeah, but I don't have the same connection to him And and it's I truly do love him, but I just it's not the same. I remember coming home from after having to put Bama down and I looked at charlie and charlie's like Yeah, oh, so they knew each other. Yeah, they were together and he was um, you know

He's kind of gotten a little weirder over the years where I've I've picked up on those things that make him so weird. Yeah, and He you know, you got to love your dog. Just every dog's got a different personality. We have a we have a resident dickbiter Yeah, can't have people over at all. We have his sequester. We have one that no one can ever see He's completely unadoptable full-blown Psychopath. Wow Can not be walked outside because if he lunges and cannot get to what he wants to lunge at he will then turn on you So I have scars on my legs. Everyone in this house has cars on their legs. Oh my god. Yeah, he escaped Oh, yeah a year ago. I chased him down the road here

Yeah, and he was this old lady's walking down the road and oh no And he did a lunge toward her neck. Oh and she Turned her head and he got her scarf. She was wearing a scarf. Oh my god And I grabbed him by the neck. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, right? But he would he wouldn't eat in her Yeah, well, he's also like 17 pounds only. Oh, so he's little like oh, okay. Oh, okay. Julio. His name is Julio Julio, I love that. He's 17 pounds and he I I was literally picturing an 80 pound No, no, I mean he's a skinny mini. He's a skinny mini. That's the kind of shit that bamo would do but she was 65 pounds I remember her running at another dog. It was only other dogs

But she would run at other dogs And I would grab onto the leash and like if the other dog was next to a fucking bassinet like I had no People thought that my dog was trying to kill their baby and I would I remember being dragged down A brooklyn sidewalk just my face bloody Getting up never letting go of the leash and her stopping like within an inch of this this like baby carriage And then me standing up and being like are you guys okay? And I'm covered in blood and they're like, please Please go away. People called her Hannah Balita in my neighborhood. Is that where you live? Hannah Balita

We would walk down the street and there's oh really? Yeah, you live in brooklyn now. I lived in brooklyn in What was it 20 it was 2017 I guess 2015 to 2018 Yeah, who do you live now now? I live in Gramercy If I lived in brooklyn, how far would it for me to get to like Like the cellar Hmm depends on where in brooklyn, but if you lived where I lived it would take

15 minutes in a cab. No, I mean on the subway on the subway. Yeah, if I took a cab, how long would it take? You know what? Let me reverse that. Sorry Uh 20 to 25 minutes on the subway 15 in a cab. Okay. Okay. Yeah Because if you're in Williamsburg, you're just right over the bridge I was thinking about maybe moving there for you. You should you guys should move to new york We moved there for a bit. You should I have seven animals. So I I can't oh just up and leave. Yeah. Yeah What is it like? I want to see what that's like. Is that where that hole is?

Yeah, let's swipe up girl. Swipe up. You know what? I'm not encouraging. Oh, you mean the hawaiian girl that lives in hawaii Let's swipe up fucking girl Anyway, at the end of first of all, let me just say that it was a real pleasure having you It was such a pleasure to be here. Are you being real? Yeah I don't know how to I don't know how to say this is the worst I try to say something genuine and it always comes out sarcastic And it's just the work. I can't be like you guys are so great to be around It doesn't feel good and I meant that I feel real and I meant it. It feels so bad

Oh, it would be on on honest. You know what try clubway the club country club country club way This was really a pleasure. That's not going to be better. Yeah. Yeah, that's that I honestly No, no Because I don't have to try here's what I'll do. Here's what I'll say. This is the genuine version. This is a genuine version I want to be better friends with you guys than I am Okay, but what's this creepier? Yeah, yeah, yeah, the rocket. No, I believe you that that came off genuine. That's creepier though. No, I think you're a funny person I hate myself. I think you're a funny person. I think you're a funny person

I love Andy. You know me. I love what you guys do you have your own podcast together? I love the chemistry between yeah, but I watch the clips on on instagram and stuff like that Yeah, I think you guys are doing a great job In the the times that I've hung out. I've seen you you've been very nice And I'm a fan of your work and I just think you're a nice person and then congratulations. Oh, thanks Yeah, and whatever you say right now is gonna feel it's gonna feel forced. It's gonna feel like a lie Yeah, so let me tell you you look like Nicole Kidman. No, you don't get that wait when young

No, no, no like young Nicole Kidman Doesn't she though she she reminds me of two people. Okay, but I don't know. I want to hurt you She you look like Nicole Kidman a lot. Yeah, but then you also look like this character actor that I know Okay, yeah, no, I don't want to like she played a maid No, no, no, I don't want to say I she's a super talented person and I mean when she was she's older now I don't want to tell you who is it. I don't want to do who is it. Is it Jane Curtin? No, okay

Kind of you have a jake but a lot of people say okay. What do people say that you look like Jane Curtin, Nicole Kidman um, which they're very different very different. Yeah, um and uh Jody Foster Oh, there is a little Jody Foster the eyes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Those are the ones I was thinking about. Let's do the end of the

Exactly, uh, um, so at the end of our podcast Can I wait can I try one more time to just tell you guys that this was really fun? Yes, I'm really happy you brought me on. Did that work? You want to try one more time? Is that better? Yeah, okay. Okay. Okay. Thank you guys. No, you know what just just the one that I did a second ago It was that better I feel like the one I did a second ago was better. It wasn't it was not. No, can we just do it? Can you do one? This is so dumb. Just be real man. I am. No, no, no. Honestly, let's be real. You're offending me now. Okay

I feel like it's gonna be better if I push you into a fucking serious box here. Okay, right? Yeah, so number one We're Asian. Uh-huh, and you're being very rude to us. That's not true. I'm doing the work I'm doing the work. I don't know. I'm trying to get her in. I don't see racism. Yeah, you just went you're racist. No, no, I'm not racist. Every white every white particle of me. I was like, no! Yeah, yeah, so um and you know We really looked forward to having you on the show

And I just feel like you're not you're not really into it. So okay. Well, I'm just gonna say that I I am so sorry to disappoint you guys because that was that's not Let's do unhelpful advice. It's not gonna work. I believe you because you got here 40 minutes early. Well, first of all, that's my I'm not desperate That was my driver's fault Yeah, I was in the middle of dinner at a restaurant. I'm sorry. And I was I couldn't even finish my fucking meal I was like, what the fuck? I threw my shit down. We're like, why is bobby calling us? But this was the one I was the most excited to do. This was the podcast that I was most excited to do I believe that every time I watch you guys you're having so much fun. You did a great job

Thank you. Yeah, and you're fun. I think your your vibe is perfect for this chemistry. Yeah. Yeah, and um Great. Yeah, what you're good at is you I nailed it. I love what? You know how to add information. Yeah, which is good. You won't shut the fuck up So at the end of our podcast we do a thing called unhelpful advice people email us with advice You can help or not help but go ahead Gil unhopeful advice with bobby collina and rosebud baker I'm a 22 year old. So she said uh, here's some background I'm a 20 year old 22 year old female and I was adopted It was actually an adoption that was within the state meaning my family who adopted me lives in the same state as my biological family

When I was 19, I was able to reach out and meet all of my biological family except for my biological father He called me to talk for a few hours twice at most But it seemed like he was very drunk when he did call then I didn't hear from him again for three years Here's the issue now that I'm 22 and I saw him post some pictures on facebook because we're friends I liked the pictures. He immediately DM'd me his new number and told me to call I was so busy. I texted him and said I could text later He went on to leave tons of voicemails that were rambling. I have no connection to him as he's never cared to reach out to me Uh, that's why there was that three year stint before the facebook messages

Now he's begging for my attention crying into my voicemails every day I still haven't met him and I am his youngest child. Should I block him answer the phone? Ignore it. I'm really unsure of what I should do because this feels really weird Oof God, that's hard. She had the answer earlier. You're not obligated to this person just because of biology sounds like a mess Yeah, and you should probably distance yourself until I feel like if you're immediately just if your Instant reaction is like let me text with you later. You're not even saying like I'll call you later

So your immediate reaction is like I don't want to do this right now And I don't even really want to do this fully at all at all. So I'm I'll text you So it's like your guts just being like you and I think that's probably the right Yeah, wait, what was the thing that she got permission to meet everybody? Was it permission to meet everybody but maybe it was like an open adoption, right? So like the information was always available to him. It seems like except for the biological family She was able to meet all of her biological family. Oh she she she okay And except for he didn't show up

I just wonder what she means by able to meet like what is if that's like because sometimes that information is not Um, yeah available if it's like a closed adoption, right get the opportunity to meet, right? Yeah Yeah, I was just wondering if it was like he left his information out, but the rest of the family That's another thing where it's like. Oh, okay. So I think that's an easy answer. That's true He seems he was drunk a couple times, right? Yeah, and now he's getting aggro. It's fucking weird It seems as though The other people in his family aren't even in contact with him from the also He has an adoptive dad that dad that like a adopt a real. Yeah a real dad who showed up for him who showed up

So stick with him. I don't like that one. Give me another email. I mean think I mean No, no, no, no care about your pride Give you can't say that to an adopter Is it a girl? Yes, it's a girl. What's her name? You know, she doesn't want to say her name all right kimberley Kimberly listen. We care. All right. Just do what we just said. Okay. Next one. Wow, that was like me. That was like me trying to say how much I like you guys. Hey guys, I'm a 28 year old male who just can't. I'm not gonna do this one. I'm sorry. Why? It's another female one. How do you help him get a girl? If we were to compete, I have a question for you guys.

If we were to compete to see who could solicit a dick pic the fastest, who do you think would win? Me. I already get them all the time. I have a female fiancé and I still get them. Really? I never get them. I never get them. One guy wore our merch and was like, love the merch and it's just dick. I was like, bro, I'm engaged. No, but you do have a vibe. Yeah, you have to help promote that vibe every day. I mean, honestly, does he seem gay to you? He's queer baiting. Yeah. He doesn't seem gay to me, but he's queer baiting. That's fine. That's friendly. Yeah. I don't know if the gay is gay. Let me ask you. What's honestly, Rosebud, what is your ultimate dream? Like what would be the thing that you want to happen in your career?

Let's see if we can manifest it. So I really want my own show. Like a sitcom? No. No, I don't want to sitcom. I want a tragic, like a comedy that is about very dark, dark shit. Like stuff that they generally are like, oh, we don't, we're not going to touch that. It's acting. You want to do a single camera acting drama. Yeah. That's a dark comedy. Yeah. About real shit. I think that's great. Yeah, but I also like stand up is my number one love. So I would like that. I would like that for the experience and to, to learn how to do it and to pay for a house, you know. And then I just want to do stand up. I want to go on the road and I want to tour and you're doing the jokes. Yeah. Yeah. But I want to do like stadiums. I want to do arenas. Really? Yeah.

And you will. Yeah. I want to, I think you will. I don't want that. No. No, I like staying at clubs. Yeah. You don't like clubs? I love clubs. They're my favorite, but you can always do clubs. I know, but it's like less pressure. I know them. I'm familiar with how it all works, right? And it's like, you know, if you do a theater run, it just seems like I just don't see a lot of female comics doing like, I mean, there's more now, but I don't see a ton of female comics like doing arenas. And like, I want to sell out. Oh, you will, you will, you know? Yeah. I mean, you might even have to be able to do like you and two other comics. Like, you could do it. You know, you probably need some other names. No, no, no, no, no. You get some other names I want. No, wait, stop. Listen,

you bring Burr and you're gonna be set. You chappelle Bill Burr, right? I think that'll work. Yeah. Chris Rock, I think that'll work. Yeah, you know, don't aim too high. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're gonna manifest this. You're gonna do it. With the help of some men. That's what it sounds like. Yeah, I'm kidding. That's backtrack. You're right. You're gonna do it on your own. Does that make everyone feel good? Yeah. Is everyone positive on the same board? We're all putting it on the universe. Okay. Absolutely. But anyway, no more emails. Rosebud Baker, right? I mean, I would love, we would love to have you and Andy on. I would love to do that. That would be so fun. So I want to do a judging the fight who won the

fights. Yeah, we've got plenty of those. Plenty of those because you guys don't have guests right on yours. No, why? No, because we started it during that. We started on the first day of pandemic. Yeah. And then got engaged on the third episode. And then I was like, we got back to New York and I was like, it's so easy to just do the two of us. Yeah. And it's so hard. It's obviously just doing a podcast is a lot of work. And I was like, I don't want to add like booking to the yeah. And you always have that option for like way later. Yeah, we can always bring in guests. I mean, it's but why I'm asking is because if I've ever in New York, I can't do your guys's podcasts. The only fucking problem is you don't

have guests. You can always come on the podcast. You have a how you never had guests. How do you know that that even works? We just have to buy another microphone or let you sit in front of no microphone. No, we would love to have you. No, forget it. No. Listen, Bobby, if you're in other people on there, if you moved to New York and you're our first guest, that sets the bar at a level that I'm comfortable with where it's like, okay, if Bobby's coming on the podcast, then we can bring on bigger guests. And it's honestly, it's gross of me, but it's a great move on our part. Politically speaking. Who's your agent? Ryan Ferreduni. Oh, wow. At CAA. I'm there too. Yeah. Oh, let's talk. Anyway, give her a round of applause. Your podcast name,

your Instagram handle, your special, give us all the leads. Okay, so my podcast is called Find Your Beach podcast. It is available wherever you get your podcast. It's also on YouTube. I hate that that picture's still up. Andy designed that, and I got a really good artist to do it, and we can't change it. I love the old English, though. I hate it. It also would help if you guys were on the fucking thumbnail. I know. We are. No, you're not. We are. If you look on Spotify, on Spotify, we are. Yeah, they updated the artwork, but iTunes, get your shit together, Apple. Apple. What the fuck? Okay. Anyway, so that's my podcast, and it's also on YouTube. And then my special is called Whiskey Fists. They can go to YouTube, type in Rosebud Baker Whiskey

Fists. You can watch the whole special on there. Please watch it. Tell everybody you know about it. It's nine years of work, and I'm exhausted. So please, please watch the fucking thing. Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. I think, you know, if I do a special, I think that's the road. I think so too. It is. Honestly, I thought about it, and I was like, do I sell this? And then I thought, if I want people to see it, YouTube, people are going to YouTube. They're watching shit on YouTube. Yeah. And when you get nice YouTube comments, that's how you know you did good, because nobody's, nobody's being nice on YouTube. No, never. Right. But I watched it, and I was like, okay, I think it's a good length. I'm proud of what I did. We'll see what happens. And I've been,

like, obviously monitoring the comments because I'm mentally ill. And they've been very nice. And I was like, okay. How do you respond to negative ones? I respond. I literally respond to it. You'll see in the comments. I'm in there. I'm like, if somebody's mean, you respond to those? Yeah. I'll just say, you're a piece of shit. I'm gonna shit on your chest. Wow. Just literally, just to the point where my manager's like, you look like you have too much time on your hands. You need to stop responding. Yeah. And I'm like, I do have too much time on my hands. That's your problem. Because back in our day, they're like, don't respond. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I just, I swallow it. Yeah. Like I read it. And I just go, no, I just respond.

I'll be like, I, I literally hate you. I hope you wish. Oh my God. That's amazing. It feels good. Yeah. Once you respond and you go, Hey, let me respond. Okay. No, you're bad. You're saying it's bad for you. It's so positive. It's what Annie Letterman says. It's like, doing that is like cutting for her. Like going through the comments is a form of cutting. It's like some type of yeah. I can't even read. So I refuse. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, listen, I don't want to cut myself. It's probably better not to if you know it's not good for you. But for me, I, I feel energized and alive when I respond to trolls. And I hope that I grow out of that. Yeah. Right. Well, no, not if it's like right. It genuinely brings you energy. And if it doesn't take away good energy, it's like negative

though, because it's like what they're saying isn't real. Right. It's some guy in a somewhere. Right. Right. You don't even know who it is. It could be a comedian that you see every day. Your grandfather. Yeah. It could be Jim Baker. In which case, I'm literally responding to him on some level every time. Yeah. So I think there's like, uh, I get fueled from it, not in a good way, but in the same way that you would get fueled from like doing math, you know, you're like awake. Yeah. There's comments on there that are so mean that I'll be like, I'm not, I just won't touch that. Right. Because I know that if they respond after, it's going to ruin my day. Yeah. So those people, I just put out of my mind, but the people who will say something where I'm like, I can find a funny

angle to respond to this. Right. I generally engage with those people. That's like a layup, right? Yeah. I see this a lot like, like Che will do this online where he'll like, he'll respond to people because I can tell he's having fun with it. Yeah. Right. You know. And so I, I kind of, um, at least I think he is. I don't fucking know, but I generally tend to have fun with it. Okay. Yeah. Anyway, thank you. Bye. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Tiger barely ad free on Amazon music, download the Amazon music app today, or you can listen ad free with Wondry plus in Apple podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com slash survey.