TigerBelly - Ep 319: Theo Von, Beat 'Em and Eat 'Em!

Episode Date: October 20, 2021

Bobby sends a snake. Theo gets rattled. Khalyla reminisces about High School colognes. We talk waterslides of pee, cum crystals, Tarzan in Manhattan, Theo's special Regular People, and Bobby preaches to the brothers and sisters. Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. You think he looks like Mark Wahlberg? No, I don't. You think he looks like Mark Wahlberg? No, I don't. What? I'm joking, I do, man. I could see it like a kind of a rural Mark Wahlberg.

Yeah. I could lay out on the postal route where it's not even the mail truck anymore. It's just like a little truck and somebody had just tried to do it. Right. You could be the eighth, like the Wayne's brothers. You know, are they like the Wayne's brothers for whites? Who? The Wahlbergs?

Yeah. There's like nine of them, right? Yeah. You could be the last one. Yeah. Like the youngest one, bro? The one that makes like, you know, the hamburger store? Wahlbergs.

The Wahlbergs, bro? You make the, like, organic. Yeah. Catch up. I've never been there. I don't know. I think he looks a lot better. He's so nice in here.

What? Yeah, beautiful. I see you. I've missed you. It's great to be in here. I miss you, too. You look well. Yeah, yeah.

Thank you. Well, with the sunglasses, bro. Huh? The sunglasses, bro. I've been watching poker on ESPN. Oh, yeah? Yeah, they do it. Have you ever seen it?

Oh, yeah. I've seen poker before on television. Well, they do it on there. It's called Element of Disguise. Oh, so I don't know what your eyes are doing right now. What are you learning? I might not even have my thing. My eyes could have been left in the car.

Right, right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could be in the car reading a book right now. Okay. Wait, do you have a good poker face? No, that's the thing. It's like, you know, I want to see. He has a good pokey face.

I know that. You have a good pokey. You might let that dude loose around an aquarium, bro. No, bro, bro. Your little fucking lunchbox salmon. Oh, damn. Bro, sorry. You're attacking me, dude.

Well, but here's a snake to me. You get attacked. Oh, hold on. We'll talk about that in a second. See if this is a good thing. You got male glue on your fingers. You've been at the post office. All right, so we're playing.

We're playing poker, right? Yeah. I got fucking four aces in my hand. Is that good? That's amazing. That's amazing, right? How many aces are there in the deck? Are you all playing with one deck?

No, there's three decks. Oh, you're doing all right. Yeah, I'm still doing pretty good, right? So let's say I know I'm putting money and I'm trying to hide that I have this hand, right? See if this face is good. Well, hold on. Is that good?

Yeah, that was great, dude. I couldn't tell. No, no, no. I'm throwing the chips, bro. Wait, well, how much money you put in? Here's what? Up you. Is that what you said?

The person before you puts 500. You can call it. You can raise it. Okay, how about that? How much is the pot already? Oh, let's say like 25 grand. It's just him and one more person. So I'm going to go 500.

I up at another 3000. It's too obvious. Is that that good? Yeah. Your head moves slowly. I'll double it. No, I'll match it. I'll match it, right?

Watch, watch. I'll match it. Is that good? No, what I just did there, I'll do a turn, right? Yeah. I'll look at the guy, match it. Okay. Ooh.

Okay. Then I'm going to do this. You do that. You do that. It's the tongue thing. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you do the tongue thing.

You do the tongue thing. Yeah. All in. All in, bro. All in. All in, right? Or he's holding a butt. Right?

All in. Right. And I'll do a little giggle. Like I can't believe it. Okay. No. No, dude. Oh, that's kind of confident.

Pretty. And I'll look around and I'll look in the camera, right? Yeah. Like there's a camera over there, because ESPN, I'll go like this. Right? Yeah, and you go like, and then I, looking in the camera, I push it all in like this.

Okay. Right? And then what do you do? Here's what I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I look over at the camera. Yeah, yeah. Because I have five aces.

Five? Oh, you're five. Fuck. And I go, da, na, na. Oh, da, na, na. ESPN. All the way, right? Yeah.

And then what I do is I'll go, I'll look in the sky to God. That's what I'll do, right? You look, I'll go like this, right? Yeah. And then I'll go, because I have no more chips, I put it all in, right?

I'll be sitting behind you. Ooh. I have a guy sitting behind, and I'll go, I'll do a little head thing. You have a translator? No, it's not a translator. I don't know. No, it's not a translator.

I speak English though, but you also have one. Oh, just in case? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But mostly he has snacks. Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll go, that means,

you know what I mean? Bring the deed to my house. Oh. I'm throwing it in my house. Pink slip, right? So it's not over. It's not over, I don't know. And I sign the fucking paperwork.

But you only have... Okay. Right? I always lick it. Okay. Because I want it moist, right? Wow. Right?

Because you use bird feather, right? Yeah, dude. Okay. You and I. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bought a condo that, yes, it's sinking.

Okay. Louisiana? It's in South Florida. It's right in the door. I think it's sort of riff-raff. Oh, I see. Okay. Yes, it is.

The building is about eight inches shorter than when I bought it. But... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doesn't matter, man. This is World Series Poker. So I'm looking for that. Right.

Okay. And then... Now we gotta put people in. Now we flip. Oh, really? Nothing. Right? Don't you throw me in there.

Well, you're in a cage. Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But cages are allowed on the... On the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a ball gag? Yeah.

And that's such a union job. Yeah. You're a sag, right? All right. Eligible. I guess you are a sag. I don't see it, honey. Okay.

I'll say that. So I go like this, right? And these doors open. Like, first, you have smoke coming. Oh, damn well. Right? Dude, the whole budget's gone. Right?

And all of a sudden, like, firework. Right? And then I have, like, little people. You got to say, I think... I think... I think... I think... Little latinkas.

Yeah, little latinkas are coming in. Right? Or who's at the Mayans? I think they're Mayans. Yeah, they're Mayans, right? Little Mayans. They come in... They make a...

They have a song. Ooh, what's a pussy? Ooh, what's a pussy? Right, right. Wait in the water. What? Yeah, they've been in Jacksonville. They were at a Triller event.

What's a pussy? You can't be in there then. Wait, are they introducing me in a cage? Yeah, you were in a cage, but now you're out of it. Why is she out? Yeah. Because we're singing the song, Who Wants Some Pussy.

I don't want you to know. I'm not offering you a pussy. Right, right. Gilberts in there. Okay. Hey, man. Gilberts in there and George is in there. When Gilberts grew his hair long.

Right, yeah. Who wants some pussy? Right, they're coming in. And you guys are naked scared. You have your arms on the fucking bars. Shakin'. And you're shakin' like that. They come in, who wants some pussy?

If I ever saw her pussy, I would be like, Hey, Bobby's looking for you. That's what I would say. Right, you know. So I bring them and I go, them. Yeah. Them in too, right? So I put that on and then what do you got?

Oh gosh, dude. And then I think I'd probably do like a little wall. Yeah. At this point, you got a real fucking, you got a real Cirque du Soleil going on. Yeah, right, right, right, right. Your thing getting, the budget's getting pretty hot. Yeah.

I probably have a couple of brothers show up. Oh. In a Dodge Charger. Classic. Yeah, classic there. Yeah. And then they start singing that song, Where Do You See, Mom?

Oh. Where Do You See, Mom? Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody's whispering. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah.

The Ying-Yang twins. The Ying-Yang twins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're affordable now. So yeah. We can get them. Right. And it honors Asian culture because of the Ying in the Yang.

Wow. Ying-Yang twins. Amazing. Think about those two guys. He bets them. Right. So then we, now we turn over the cards. Yeah.

Right? One of them whispered because he had throat cancer. Did you know that? Yeah. Which one had it? Huh? Ying or Yang? Who had throat cancer?

Ying or Yang? Have you got to take a guess? Yeah. Ying, I feel like. Ying, yeah. It sounds like he should, he would have it. More strain. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Ying, got it. Yeah. So then we could turn over our cards. Jesus. And do I go first? Our parents are asleep by now.

It's getting late at the poker game. Our parents have left. Oh, our parents were there? I didn't know. Oh, yeah, yeah, I didn't know. Yeah. Well, then there's got to, how about this? You know what I mean?

Who wants a pussy in my part? Right? Who? I go, good night, mom. So she, you know what I mean? Yeah. She's leaving, right? Get out of here.

Yeah. And we're all like, everything's fine. Everything's leaving. You start smoking crack again. That's a crazy thing. Some moms think everything's great when they leave the room. Yeah. Yeah.

So we turn over the cards, right? I turn over mine first. That's fine. I'm almost dead of sleep at this point. All right. Oh, it's good doing something. I'm back awake. Okay.

You almost bailed on it. You probably came back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm back. I flip it over and I go, like, look at what I got. What do you got? And then you. And then I go, my shoulder clicks too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I have osteoporosis. Yeah. You look, right? And I lay them down. But here's what I do. Yeah. I have five, but I hide one under it and just go four.

So we draw. Oh, we draw. And so I go. So I look around. I go, ah, it's a draw, I guess. Right. And then you scoot it over and reveal the fifth. Oh, yeah.

To be continued. Oh, to be continued. Wow. Wow. Okay. Because what I was about to do is go and do a little hand signal for another guy to come out to bring me a shotgun, right? And what I would do on live ESPN television is just stick it in my mouth and just.

Like Bud Dwyer? Yeah. But Dwyer and just all over the. Really? Yeah. Yeah. But now that you didn't. Well, now that Bobby's out of the picture.

Colada. Yeah. Pussy is still backstage. Well, I'm not saying let's play cards. So welcome to another episode of Tiger Valley. Oh, yeah. Welcome. You know, I didn't know.

Oh, you knew. I did. And I didn't. You knew there was a snake in the mail. Accusations. Anyway, we got the human and body. Here, I'm going to make a sound and you tell me if it reminds you of you going to the post office. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. It seems familiar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's my slippers? Yeah. Yeah.

I'll remind you. So wait in line at the post office, buddy. So, um, Theo Vaughn. Oh, you little spiked skunk. Hey, fuck you. Hey, bro. Bro, don't call me that. You want to call me?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, bro, bro, don't call me that.

You want to bring a swordfish to a gunfight? You little piss guppy. Huh? Don't say that. Piss guppy. I'm a piss guppy. You sent me those dirty dishes and you sent the snake, Bubba. First of all, I don't know where the fuck you live in Nashville.

Number two, it's like, why would I, if I was going to, were they poison us the snakes? The snake was a rat snake, Bub. Right, Bub. Can they kill you, Bub? Huh? Can they kill you, Bub? They can't kill me. Why?

Huh? They only want one. Right, right. If you want to kill me, Bubba, you need to send mass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. So I would have sent maybe 10 of them, right? And the more poisonous than whatever the gutter one...

What's not the rat one? What's the gutter one? Whatever the rat snake, would I send them? It was a rat snake. Rat snake. I would have... The box of... It was it dishes that was sent.

You know this. It was dishes that was sent. It was little, uh, Chinese little cups or something like. Yeah. Kind of shaped like this and had those spoons. It also has a you know the spoon y'all have it as a bowl on the end. It's kind of fucking cheating on us I mean, you know what I mean, it's a really deep one. Yes, I do just oh you mean for the soup Yeah, for whatever. Yeah, there's soup fucking spoons, bro. Oh, so the bowl

Whatever you want to do Yeah, yeah, whatever dude these fucking little pinoy ladles, you know Okay, dude, uh-huh things you scoop up all your bullshit. Yeah. Anyway, it's a box of little Asian dishes They're all wrapped in newspaper. Uh-huh. So I open it up. There's no return address. It's from Los Angeles But there's it says on the sticker thing, but there's no Return address so I'm like all wonder who sent this Literally, I go do some other stuff in my house. I come back over there three minutes later And there's a snake right outside of it. That's moving around in my home. Whoa, where I live, Bobby

Whoa, wasn't that funny? Because my intention I came here to Bro, bro, my bro if I wanted if I wanted to kill you you'd be dead already Right, so I do things for a chuckle. Yeah, right? So when you saw the little dishes and that little bowl spoon thing, right and the little Snake, right? Did you get a chuckle out of it? No, I thought who sent me the Chinese Ramacans or whatever right right right, but after you went through that thought process, right?

You thought Bobby Lee sent it and that's funny. I thought who do I know that's Chinese or semi Chinese? I'm not Chinese though. Semi a semi Chinese. I am semi Chinese, but if you played your cards, right? You could have been Alright, you mean before I even came to earth. I'm just saying If you do your BTS fucking work you fucking show up like you want, right? Okay, I fucked it up up there, huh before I came I'm not saying that but right. It's been said. Yeah Okay, I'm just saying so don't send me snake, bro. All right, bro. My bad Okay, I thought I was gonna get a chuckle, but my bad dude very scary. Yeah, okay, you know how hard it was I had to go all the way to Monterey Park to get that

There was a restaurant over there. They're Mexican people dressed up like Asian people selling snake Yeah, okay, I have that park is a bunch of a finding your adders was tough, bro. Yeah, yeah public knowledge All right, but you know what I thought it was gonna be funny, but I apologize man if it scared you a little bit It's it's scary. Yeah. Yeah. Are you gonna send me something or what? Which keep in mind that I open all the mail, so it's gotta be something. Oh Well, if you heard that Justin Timberlake song, what is it? Which one there's so many dude the one with the it's like a male they said It's like a dick in the box. Oh, is that it now?

Oh, I would never send that and that is a joke interesting I shouldn't laugh either. Okay. Yeah, Mark fucking white Berg over there Frickin. Oh when I own Benjamin's henchman Have you ever been part of a seance? Yeah, how'd that go? Who were you trying to summon I Mean the some of the people that showed up there was one guy who showed up I remember who all is some guy showed up whose car had been like attacked He'd been at a bar and people kicked all the windows out of his

Car so we didn't get anybody we wanted to be there, but Like I was like looking for help or whatever I happen to be doing a seance, you know, we had Just happen to be yeah, we and that dude fucking like is banging on the door. I'm like, who ordered this guy Yeah, this dude just got jumped this dude's bad luck. Yeah, you know, have you ever been done a seance or tried you? Yeah, I've seen him. You know me. Oh, it would literally Tom. Yeah, Lily ties. I won. You know, I mean I wanted to try to find a robe, you know, will you text them? I'm not dude Yeah, I just I got a Netflix special thing coming out. So this oh Congratulations, dude. I literally have to pick the art ring. Oh, that's fucking congratulations. You could pop it

Afterwards right now. It's doing now. Fuck it. All right, my bad. You filmed it already. Yeah, we already filmed it, man Where'd you film it at? And actually we filmed it at the Rhyman in Nashville. Oh, wow So pretty cool over there. Yeah, a lot of good people over there like you guys Yeah, what do you mean my Norris minorities, huh? Huh? Yeah minorities. No, I don't see you guys as anything different than me. Oh Oh, dude, that's the most positive thing I've ever heard from you, bro. Really? Yeah, I'm so happy to be here, man I think I came in a little bit hot. I want to apologize. No, no, no Oh, you screw you you you you you screeched in here like

You came in there and then you came out you got I'm gonna piss in your bushes You did kill my fur in the last the last day. Yeah, you killed out one of our front And then you came in and you're like, oh your base mommy They would serve this at a hospital shit is healthy, bro. Yeah, and then you said like can I I'm gonna go pee outside? I go the bathrooms right here. I got now I want to pee outside. You prefer peeing outside, dude I remember when I was a child man, I was so scared I remember this as a kid like I would get so scared at night that I Would pee I remember hearing that wolves like if they had wolves in your area

That day if you pee then they wouldn't come around the urine because it wolves would mark their area Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know I'm talking about wolves in Louisiana, huh? We had two wolves actually dude and some man unleashed him on the like in an air I this is a different story, but I'll tell once or at a time But at night I would be so scared after I heard that I would stand on my bed and literally pee or from the wall All the way around my bed to the other wall. Oh Oh, well, we come get me at night. That's how smart do I thought it was pretty smart making a perimeter basically around you In Minnesota, um, I had a friend named David Siebert and David Siebert good

Let's pee in a cup and give it to my mom And I go and I go I don't want to right because his mom was so cool and shit Oh, he's like, no, she'll think it's like lemonade and stuff Oh, and I go I don't want to right and so he peed in it, right? It's IP lit and lit. We gave it to the mom. She drank it. All I remember was I was thrown out of the house You mean like drank it. She did drink it. She drank it She kind of threw me out like, you know, like, you know, like Fresh Prince of Bel Air Yeah, right through me out the door closed like catch of the day almost like at this in Seattle when you see those commercials in Seattle

I'm gonna throw in the fish. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it was like. She threw me out, right? And I just remember like Commotion inside the house. Yeah. God damn it. You know me Yeah, all that kind of stuff, right? Yeah, I haven't seen David Siebert for Siebert for years after that. Wow. Yeah Yeah, and but you know, we should call him. I don't know anything about him, bro You know his name you ever been peed on. Oh, yeah, are you into that? No at all Yeah, I open my mouth and everything That's a earl that's a warning sign of being into I've been peed on yeah No, this girl did it and I went I because she was so house. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. No, I totally get that

Yeah, so I'll try I knew a girl. She used to say serve me up some of that hot coffee. She would She wanted on her face or just her body, huh? I think she was trying to do it like for my distance She was like trying to get the medicinal values out Like Marquez the boxer who beat who knocked out many Pacquiao. Really? He drinks his own. Hmm. How much does he have a week? I'm not sure, but I think it's a daily consumption. I wouldn't have that much Remember that video two girls in one cup. I don't want to talk about that. I do Because I remember somebody showing me that and I wasn't grossed out by it Yeah, cuz you love poo. I love poo, but it's also kind of like it was more scientific. It's a kink

I cannot give you I am not into poo pee. I'm into yeah. Yeah me then babe I'll gladly pee all over your face, but I need you to pee on me. I'm into it But were you grossed out by the hole when they were eating the poo? I'll start a water slide for you I'll start a way I'll start a wave pool in the back of my truck Um, I like I always like I always I would pee around the bed. I remember to keep the wolves out Yeah, yeah, but then like this there was it literally got all starchy on the carpet over time Ah, cuz I peed for years up here by four years outside of my bed. Yeah, and I remember I would stack my underpants full of um

Like towels and teachers cuz I was so scared. I didn't want to get up and go to the bathroom I thought something was gonna get me so I'm like if I pee I gotta like make it so I don't have to change my bed And so I could go back to sleep. Yeah, so I just remember man I would just stack my underpants just full of like shirts. I was never gonna wear maybe gonna wear I put those further out So that the so the pee would hit like the ones I'm never gonna wear first. Yeah And then like the better clothes on the your mama never said anything like God smells weird in here I'm sure she I'm sure she thought that yeah, yeah, but there was just nothing bigger fish to fry. You know no offense No, I mean, I love fish. I like crying. Yeah, but man. I'm not no none taken brah. Well, I will say you are the catch of the day

I'll say that by the way. Hey, bro. I'm right here, dude. It's like and you are a pretty good good. You're a great man Hey, thank you. I'm a great man, right? You're catch of the decade. Yeah, cuz my mom used to remember I told you about the crystals on my bed. Yeah crystals. She was into that. No, no, no, my mom. Yeah, yeah, right? Oh, yeah, because remember I used to come on my hand. Oh, all right Oh, yeah, put on the on the on the on the wall, right? So it dried into these like yellow crystals. Oh those crystal Oh, yeah, those crystals. Yeah. Yeah. My poor mom has to keep clean off your cum crystals. Yeah Yeah, so my mom my mom would chisel it Hey, like she'll lack it from the from the wall minecraft. You're not they're making the Lord. That's the Lord's night bright

She'll lack your own seam and all of the wall You believe God's looking down at you like oh, what's Bobby up to today? Rubbing his human sauce of existence. Yeah, I wonder if you and then I don't know this is a scientific question, but Yeah, it's purely it's purely science, bro. No, it's good to be here. I wonder I wonder just to want to throw out right if you took the cum crystals, yeah, right? And you looked at it in a microscope, right? Do you see sperm in there? Just oh like Han Solo frozen like frozen. Yeah, or are they dead you think they're dead, right? I don't know. I think some of them can get stuck in time like not in time

But they found like a human footprint the other day. I think from 19 Not 1910 like 40,000 years ago. Oh So I think you could have stuff in there if they look at your DNA They could see time they could see the passage of time in it I think oh, you're asking if it ever gets like amber on it gets fossilized What are whether or not? Yeah, like a drastic Jurassic Park and where they took you know, they took out that was already You think you see like a sperm wearing like a 311 hat or something? Maybe you do I wonder I don't know man because I think in the future we'll get stronger telescopes that can even see back in the time

I get it. No, the telescopes we have only see They can't see that far. Yeah. Yeah, I understand. You know, did you see the squid game everyone's talking about or what? Yeah, you liked it or no. I watched it in my car on the way. That's why I got lost honestly That's like a wrong turn of my hauling cuz I'm on episode six. Oh, yeah, dude. It's crazy man. It's um, You know, and I had a fibrillation recently too. You have a fib. I'd had one of them I had like a little bit of I don't know about it I do because I got a procedure done to a blazing bro and a blazing but it wasn't a fib It was similar. I gotta think beef. I don't know if it's beef if I don't know what I got some

It's like almost like they remakes your artist. I get almost like having a black eye stuck in your heart I think it's like you just get like It's like you get a kind of yeah, I feel you. Yeah, I feel you. It's like somebody hit a black eye stuck in your heart It's like suddenly your heart just fucking It's dancing Somebody turn up the reverb in my damn a order, you know why we both have that because we have old daddies I'm telling you it's a thing. Oh, you think so. Yeah. Oh your dad was old, too I mean leave the one it's the one thing that we have in common. Yeah

Yeah, well, you know, I was and you and that we both love you We do both love you and each other your energy right now. I want to say that and each other I met of you. I met a Asian girl. She might have been Vietnamese, dude. She's the one. I don't know You met a viet viet. Yeah, she's special gal. Would you meet her in Nashville or I met her? I think indoors I'm not sure where it was But I met her indoors. Yeah, you make you know tattoo or you actually did you but did you do you meet her on an app? Or do you know I met her real life a real life, bro? She's an ABG Asian baby girl. Oh, yeah She didn't age it. No Asian baby ABG. What does it mean? I'll show you what a photo of that

Yeah, thank you guys for having me too, man Of course any time you're our family But my point is is that when you see somebody like that No, I know VC my stepdad used to drum on napkins before he died That's Asian baby girls when you go from this transition to this for that. Oh, whoa tattoos She just has like a lot of arts. She she almost it's almost our body It's almost like it's almost like being in at a museum. There's so much art on it. All right Yeah, you're like what section is this? Where's the gift shop? But what I'm wondering is

How do you hit on girl? I want to know how Theo Vaughn Hits on a woman like okay, so you're at a art gallery or whatever our coffee shop. Let's play it out. You're art gallery I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm the big that's gonna be me girl. You're Asian baby girl. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's your name? No, Harriet Vietnamese woman named Harriet. Oh, I know what it is. I don't have an accent ABG's neither American girls Yeah, all right, like sort of valley. They just say yeah, like they're like Harry Styles Oh, that's what they say all the time. That's probably her name. I asked you what my name is You know me. I'll just make something up. Go ahead. Go ahead approach her. Okay. What is it?

Do you approach you ask me? You don't know my name is yet. Good evening Good evening or what time is it? Sorry? I can't that's good. That's fine. Keep it that right good evening. It's noon. Oh, well It doesn't matter time doesn't matter. My name is Yana. Oh, hey Yana nice to meet you My name is Theo and I saw you from across the room actually. Oh, hi Yeah, I was just wondering if you've been do you go out a lot of like a lot around here or do you stay indoors? Do you go out? Yeah, what do you do? Well, you know, I just do you know I like being indoors because I wake indoors. I sleep indoors. Oh, you do. Yeah, but to go out and I like I like milk Yes, so, okay, I'll wake up and I have the strong urge to drink some milk

All right, so I'll do a little skip to the store It's a homogenized whole milk. Oh, it's your athletic. Yeah. Yeah, and I'll just drink a whole liter For the morning that most people eat they a lot of people drink coffee or a Red Bull or whatnot You know, can y'all systems handle milk? Well or not because that seems like almost like it would be Oh, I'm lactose. So yeah. Oh damn There's a party down there. Mommy. Just a little fire star. Yeah Okay, so I like this a little what's your story? I mean, do you do you like being indoors or outdoors? I mean, where do you dwell? I like being outdoors more often these days, but I know winter's coming

So I'll probably be more indoors probably coming up. Yeah But I'd love to be indoors with you. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'd like to take you indoors somewhere. Yeah, this is turning me on Oh, hey, guys, keep going guys. Yeah, what happens? Okay? When you when you say Allah when you say Allah indoors. Yeah, I catch my drift Yeah, what where do you mean? I mean indoors? Oh roller rink. I'm trying to think Trying to think something that would be fun for Asian people. Yeah. Yeah, aquarium Roller rink Oh, would you think that when Asians go to like an aquarium they get like so excited they get so excited like our mouth's water

Or are we like everyone else going? Oh, that's an interesting honestly my mom does she names all and that's keep on That's really good to eat All day long when you go to aquarium. She wants to name all the fish that are edible Yeah, I think it's the same as if a white guy goes into like Texas Roadhouse or something, you know I was the peanuts down in the ground. Oh, yeah, yeah, like some guy goes into like, you know, the 4h You know that go look what these kids are doing you know some kids over there Some kids combing a sheep all this step dad's fucking erect right behind him like 4h is weird as heck Did you guys have 4h? What's 4h man? You pull up an image of 4h you mind your problem term, right?

No, it means like for I think happiness. I think is the H is it like oh horticulture Is that what it's supposed to be? Yeah Shamrock, but can you can you go good people of 4h? Good Slaying racial slurs over here There you go, I'm a true leader. No, that's that's some of them But I want to see them with the animals with animals throw with animals in there Fuck

With animals. Oh, this is gonna be beautiful my niece might be in here There's one right down the top left. Look at that guy. Okay little Randall. That's 4h. Yeah Randall dude and his black friend We are four so 4h kids are Four happy kid they're into animals in terms of like toes more man I go from picture to can we get into a slide show here, bro? This is God's country right there. Look at this lady, huh? Yeah getting a little urban over there She met somebody in Memphis right there number 497 you saw her

And look at this lady right there she got some beautiful animals He's taking care of it's basically children taking care of animals. They comb them. Oh my nieces have a couple chickens, too Really? Are they vegetarians them in 4h kids or what? Oh? My uh, I would say no. Oh, they eat the meat Yeah, yeah, unless the meat ate a salad unless like one of the animals ate a bunch of salad, right, right, right, right Forage is more than ribbons and awards. It's about the people it's Life long life long a lot of words for sure a lot of words for yeah, yeah country fair, you know Yeah, I think about a county fair. Is that a southern thing then a 4h? I think it's more Midwest or not

He knows all about it. Yeah Yeah Yeah, and the women have their hair like they'll like really braid it up and do a ribbon in it, you know It's like a real And you got to take care of my niece has a they have like I think it's like seven chickens four bunnies inside Oh, my it's pretty cool. So I saw a documentary that our dad fucked me up man It was called from from the remnant Missionaries Church in Louis. It's in Nashville, bro. Really? Yeah, it's called a remnant It's a lady, right? Look it up remnant minister. I'm gonna send you a video my sister sent me of them because they had to go

Stay in a motel What's your email Gilbert? Please don't yeah, that's bad. There you go, bro. I'm gonna show you they were staying over there by the Hampton Inn All right, man, I'm gonna talk about this Nashville thing man. Okay. What happened? Well, I won't let look it up. Hold on. I won't see if I have it right and the specials coming up So just watch it guys. I don't want to forget Because I forget I'm having such a good time in here remnant

God, it's so nice in here, huh? You were the first person in this studio. I remember. Oh, it's called bro. It's called remnant I wouldn't talk to me a fellowship. Everybody's scared remember how scared people were it's in Brentwin, Tennessee I was scared I peed around the whole building That's why Brent Brentwood, Tennessee, and what is it Bobby? It's called the remnant fellowship. Okay, what do they do and it's a cult right and the lady and Joe Laurie who was Joe's Lori's they got from Saturday live, huh? No, no, no

Joe Laurie was Tarzan, bro. Oh, you know about this with Tarzan Yeah, yeah, bro Tarzan. I thought that was Johnny Weiss Miller. Just listen to what I'm saying man. Okay. This Tarzan, bro Met this lady. What? Let me finish what I gotta say. Let me just finish what I gotta say. I did I just knew this was bullshit Dude, what right remnant it's a natural bro. You've heard of Brentwood. I've heard of Brentwood in Nashville, right? They have a church man gay country Okay. All right, anyway, they might be huh? No, it was fine if they it's fine But it's definitely if you want to if your car breaks down out there a lot of things are gonna break down Right talking about your butt. Yeah, that's that's the remnant. That's the remnant. Oh, wow

And he gets a real fellow. Yeah, right. Look at that little tannin bomb in the middle of that little freaking orange Chicklet right there in the middle. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who's that, huh? Look like dog the bounty on her anyway. That's you the lady that started the fuck. I forgot her name They're beautiful family, but the lady that started it, right in the 80s and 70s She she made people lose weight through with the Lord Mm-hmm, right so you can pray the way it off or whatever. Mm-hmm, right and then later She became a big cult. She was on Ricky Lake a bunch of shit. I love Ricky Lake. I love I don't know what I'm talking about But let me just finish bro. That's crazy. Anyway, she met Tarzan man

And what happened Bob took dude look up Tarzan in Manhattan Look up. Just listen. Look it up Tarzan in Manhattan in Manhattan. What? Manhattan, New York, man. Oh, yeah, yeah, did you look it up? Yeah, look it up. There he is, right? That's Joe Laurie. Okay, that's right. Yeah, so he marries the lady that the church lady, right? Mm-hmm, and then they fucking got in a plane and about nine months ago They crashed he all died. No. Yeah, man And the chimpanzee the chimpanzee live man. Yeah, he was the witness, bro. Oh, you know me and the cops wrote what? You're right, and then you know and they try to blame it on a black guy a bad dude

They try to blame everything on a black guy And a plane crashes like some black guy did it. You're like Anyway, check out the documentary son HBO man, I gotta check that out I'll never look at that. I've never explained something worse Honestly, I've never explained something worse than just a degree Yeah, what you didn't say anything about anything with the documentary is about the documentary is about the they're a cult, right? And it's like they beat their kids. Oh, wow a couple of kids. I just saw this picture the way down That's the girl they got that's the lady propeller, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, Gwen Shamblin

That's yeah, Gwen Shamblin now her daughter is the leader of the thing and that's it's just like this fucking Beautiful people out there. What are they beautiful people though? I don't know anything about them I don't think they are man. I have you heard Theo of the offshoot of the Korean Coltis Church called the moonies Look them up now. I think you might get a kick out of them I don't think they're called the moonies anymore, but they have they they wear like crowns of like Bullets on their head. They go to church. Are they Raiders fans? There he is fucking taking a hit off a vape pump. Yeah. Yeah. Oh

This is and that they bring like all their guns and everything with them to church. They had like mass wedding ceremony. Yeah Here's the thing that they always rip church in a lot of videos. Here's the thing Some people just believe in their group man. It just happens to be this is in America. This isn't in Korea Yeah, yeah, I like it man. I like people doing wild shit, dude We used to go to a church man where they would do some of just like a wild stuff people speaking in tongues people have a Snake up there different animal up there. I went to a church one time in Africa Man, they cut animals neck right there people drinking blood right off the animal But if we but it but but it's like we'll look at Africa and be like man

They're doing everything great But then somebody slices open a damn lamb here on a fucking Saturday night. Yeah, look at these gays, you know Where people rip on Bob Larson that is Bob Larson is he does exorcist? Right. Yeah, he's probably a great guy. He's a great guy. And if you go on the mechanic basic if you go to YouTube, right? There's so many people possessed by demons, right? Yeah, no, that's a great place to find them too. I'll agree with that. Don't you agree and they're on tiktok Yeah, yeah, they're on tiktok as well, bro, right? Yeah, but Bob Larson, right? If you're you know, there's different kinds of demons Beelzebub, you mean, yeah, yeah

The demon named John. How do you just how do you determine if something is a demonic possession if they're just on flakka? Well, what's a flakka? Flakka is a drug that makes you act like you are but no, this isn't Midwest This is like on a Sunday at a church, man People are just sitting there like and Bob Larson will walk up and go I feel you know mean some Persian demon inside you Persian. Oh, yeah, things are getting there. There's it. Look this guy. Look it up Turn it up, bro. Oh, yeah, he's he's just for men. I bet. Oh, that's him. There. Yeah, see he's ousting a demon

He's to possess, bro Put your headphones on if you want to hear it I don't have it. Oh, I have it. This is ousting a podcast. No, it's real Look at the lady behind him. Yeah, he's scared. That's some Jewish guy. I think, huh? Always gain the Jew on is he really? No, dude. He cannot do it Look at the black lady behind her. She's like, I shouldn't have said on this Yeah, she's like when does this thing drop off? This is real though, man. Wow. And it's like for me. It's like if I was went to that

I would love to go to that you can witness things This is like Simon says but for people that are really tough time Look at that lady looks like kid rock in the back Is that Marilyn rice cub go back a half a second right there? Right there that's Marilyn rice cub man. What what the fuck? Look at him. That is she's a great actress Oh, I know what's going on here. Yeah, so, you know me and some people get possessed and there's dude like Bob Larsen, you know, I mean helping out people right and people rip on them

Would you be a pat? Could you ever find yourself in a pastor ship? Do you feel like Bobby or Kalilah? I feel like there's a calling. Yeah, you know, I mean I feel you feel called to good people love you You know, I could see you find it really finding a way to really I and I mean I think you do it some with podcasting because you're like talking to people and you're providing us fun environment for him Yeah, I think I'd be a good sermon. I could go up and just do a sermon Yeah, and I think that I could be riveting and I think I can have things to say you have to get on a phone book I bet the thing, you know, no offense or they put a step in probably. No, we do that. No, they call them No, but they call them apple boxes, bro. They get out wait. No, you can um, very

You can just extend your legs now. Apparently it's you don't have to travel to China to get your legs brothers and sisters Brothers and sisters. Yes, pastor. Don't talk young man of the son of the lord, right? We are connected with energy here together and we are one with each other. I like 1995 Give me 1995 put in the basket sigma new right and then everyone puts 1995 in the basket, right? And I'm you know, we make a little money, right? So I can get my clothes and I have a nice. Oh not the year 1990. No, I need money. Okay. Is that too low? I Don't think brothers insist. I can say that good. I have that memorized. That's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Do I see brothers and sisters or family? No brothers and sisters family of thy kingdom thy come pronoun pretty good of different pronouns

She he hey, hey, hey, hey brothers and sisters, right this young man is possessed by you mean I'm possessed by Jesus Christ No My friend the anti vadae Anti-Thai Right, and then I'll do what Bob loves. I'll hit you with a fucking Bible. And then what do I do? Well, you go into because you're possessed. So you've overvulsion. Yeah. Yeah, you go in your eyes would roll back Yeah, and do that whole thing. I'll start yelling, right? And then right you start bibbing and then

As a brother in my heart and then after the church, right you and I are giggling in the back because we did it You know, I mean we rehearsed it already, but you know, I mean, right? What do you think that's trickery? That's trickery, Bobby I'm not talking about that. I'm not talking about stealing from people. Oh Yeah, you're talking about being real. Well, I'm talking about like here's my sister right there They stay in during the storm. They stayed at a damn Hampton and she sent me this Okay, so I wonder how there's audio to it due to the damage is there audio of Hurricane Ida We've decided to stay at the home to sweet. Oh, it's a nice little place to us. They even let our animals come in Here's our rabbit panda

And that's not a racial slur either. Thank you. It's a real rabbit. Thank you, man Here's the kids and the dog. Oh Oh, the animals are welcome. Here's the partition to separate our room from the kids room That's sex, Kirtna. The kids have put their mattress here separately And here resides lunch You know in case you need a beer at night In case you need a beer

That's incredible, man I just wanted to send you this video And That's visiting our temporary home. Amen, baby. Bye. That's cool. Home with sweets with taking care of animals during the storm I love that pity on that bed. Those kids must love you, huh? Oh, they're good kids, but they're 4h kids They each have bunnies. I mean animals you can't every time you see them They're brushing a damn animal. You know I'm saying if those animals I mean every time you see them when I'm got there they touch an animal they touch an animal

I feel like I am like deep down a 4h kid I'm always touching and brushing an animal But that's yeah, that's the real that's you 5h Oh, that's the 5h 5h is beyond, you know, there's animals that died as well. Yeah, you know, let me brush the dead animals Yeah, I brush ghost animal. I brush animals that are extinct, man You ghost sometimes you'll sketch me in a in a field, bro. Yeah, right and I have a big brush I'm brushing a fucking woolly mammoth, bro. Damn because they they've been gone a long time

But not I see it. Not for me, man. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I'll just be like, you know, that's crazy You mean it looks like I'm jerking off. You know what I mean? A dinosaur or whatever. No, they have rudders. I'm getting milk. I used to jerk off dogs a lot But this isn't like a known thing And I was younger I learned from an older cousin Oh, jerked off tons of dogs. Yeah, come on, man. I believe it. I know I believe it, but I don't want to hear it Well, dude, that's coat. That's just the original coconut water You know what I'm saying before they had coconut water, dude, people were getting doing different stuff

So let me let's get real now. All right. How are you feeling? I'm feeling okay, man. Depression or not depression. I started getting I got sick about almost two years ago I don't know what happened. Something like I think in my blood or something like made me like not like Herpes or whatever like hiv, but just something like made me fatigue all the time Syphilis Not even syphilis. Nothing like through your wiener. You know why just something that just gets I don't even know what it is So I've been trying to figure out all these ways to like kind of heal. I just get better. So it's been like a slow process But outside of that. I'm feeling great, man. I'm happy to be here today. Yeah for me. It's like, I don't know what it is

I just there's a feeling of depression with me. Oh, you feel oh, I'll tell you this. I'm real. I'm trying to be somebody died the other day and Oh, yeah, norm mcdonald Yeah, well, it's not gonna add to me get when I was driving over. Right. He's talking about how norm mcdonald died and how like he felt like, um I Was like it feels like during the pandemic if people die. They don't even really die. It's almost like nothing feels real Like even a death doesn't like the realest thing there is doesn't even feel real Yeah, anyway, we're just talking about that how everything just feels kind of like fictitious almost

Yeah Like you But even his death like I haven't really accepted it And I made a joke at the store last week that didn't play well at all And there was a group of people comics outside in the patio And I walked by the comedy store sign. It's just it's an rip norm mcdonald. Oh, right and I read it and they saw me read it And I looked at all the comics and I go Did norm mcdonald die which I already knew he did

And they're like, yeah, he died and I did a thing where I was crying on the You know what I mean on the sidewalk I did got on the I did a twirl down the you know, I mean sunset boulevard, right? And they weren't they knew I was doing a bit. Yeah, and when I got up they just left Yeah, so they weren't they didn't make sense, huh? Yeah, and I went. Oh, maybe I'm dealing with this in a not real way, you know, I'm like using some sort of humor as a mechanism mechanism Yeah, do you believe that you do I think sometimes I think I do to use different type of machinisms to deal with stuff

I do instead of being real Yeah, like if somebody's like, I love you. I'm like, let's play sega, you know When was the last time you told the woman you loved her? I don't know. That's a good quote and meant it Out loud. Yeah. Were you like like felt it in your like in your guts on the inside? Probably within the past hour I mean, but out loud. I don't know when that's been. Yeah Yeah, I honestly, I don't even know it's wild probably about four years. I think who was who was one person who you were the most deeply in love with Oh when I was in Oh, there was this girl when I was younger name was christie and she had a

She had that Lloyd Christmas on her. She had she had that a gap. She had that mental dental, you know No, what was it? Not a gap. She was just chipped out. You know what I'm saying? Oh, it just stuck out of it Yeah, or she had that one of her teeth have been kind of carved out or you know, like, uh It was definitely more of a it's like you found it at a campsite. You were like, oh, this is from the past, you know All right. Like it was a kind of artifact looking. Yeah, and then the chip. Where's the other half? Do they pay the loot they swallowed it or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't know. You don't know. It's like mystery. It's a mystery. It's like every time they smile You think of that game clue, you know, right? Yeah. So anyway, but she was like the love of my life

She lived in my neighbor. It was the only reason why because when you were young I feel like it was just proximity like your bet your friends were just it was whoever was closest to you Yeah, and some people locked us in a shed one time and made us kiss dude and it was It was it was pretty awesome. I thought yeah, who was the first girl you ever like really loved? What could you just wanted to die? I remember well, I talked about this in in seventh grade You know, I was I was people thought I was like, um a little person Because I was so small and meek and um my friend gary Goes like a little cutlet

Yeah, you could say cutlet bro. Yeah, we got like a fried little cutlet like a little veal boy And I went to this house and this girl even eat them. It was this girl named Sorry, why'd you see that man? I was just saying You look damn delectable Okay, you look like a damn juggled. You're like one of those you look like a jello jiggler that does karate. Do you? You look damn delectable and I love you. Praise god, brother Praise god, let's hear more going. I'm gonna put these back on I'll be in here if you guys need me

Anyway, man Oh, I love you brother liquid death I love you too, man. Thank you bub and I didn't interrupt you so you guys were young Not a party but like my friend gary was like, oh, we're gonna go to this girl named julie rogglestad's house So julie rogglestad was a year above me Right. She's nervous. She goes come in here to the bathroom. She was on the bathroom. She was sitting on her You know, I mean where the where the faucet is right on the cabinet there. Yeah sink sink. I mean, yeah And was she sexy or what was it? Yeah, she was well, she was like six five

Oh, yeah, I mean and I was like Four nine. Yeah. Yeah, so she kind of picked me up like a trophy. Yeah One hand one hand. Yeah, a little just one something. You know, yeah And she picked me up like this with her hand and she pulled me in and she just like that's you down See my style of kissing. I think I learned it from julie rogglestad So I go I went fucking dumb julie. Like I was so scared. I know what to do, right? That's exactly that. I don't know But you have not changed over the years. That's the style I learned bro, right? Worst style. It's a worst style

And then I remember all weekend long, bro I would just lay in bed and and think about her and just thought it was like the most magical feeling I had never talked to her again that monday back at twin peaks middle school She just I said hi to her and she just pretended I didn't even know how do you go up to her? What how'd you go up there like hi? I go. Wow. What a fantastic weekend. You know, I mean, well, wow And she goes she didn't say anything. She's kind of walked away. Dang, that's down that would mean that's what the beginning of love for me Dude, I remember one time trying to masturbate and I'd I'd lit some candles, right and they were um

They were citronella candles from mosquitoes. Yeah, and they the smoke made me pass out on So your dick was out when you passed out, huh? I was a child, bro. So So think about it. Okay. Let's just know it occurred, but don't put it in your head But uh, I don't want to be like a pet a figment of your So, um, yeah, but I remember that just just getting gassed out of that citronella, dude Yeah Faint and trying to touch myself. I remember another time. Um, I'm being in love, man. Yeah, man Oh, there was a couple of times when I was a kid. I want to be a fly on that wall

Oh, dude, I remember hiding in my neighbor's hamper and smelling his mom's bras all the time. Whoa Huh, what is it? Tits buddy. Yeah. Yeah, two good sweaty tits have a good scent too Yeah, we get the under booty sweat clean laundry. I don't even remember. I was just smelling them things Bro, just huffing cups, baby. Just did just just fucking lurked into that hamper Yeah, and I would hide under some of the clothes and just smell whatever was in there at a certain point I was just fucking huffing whatever was in that bastard boy. Yeah. God. It was fun. I never smelled anything like that Really? I don't look at a woman's underwear and you know what I mean? It smelled like that's a good vaginal area

Yeah, I never did. I mean, I don't think I mean who knows if I did anything like that You're in a hamper. What you do with the bras. Oh, yeah, the bras. Yeah, it's titty sweat. Titty sweat's good I just don't even know what was going on because your hormones started coming into your body and then you would literally I mean anything was sexual it was just like Anytime you could get like Seed or whatever to fly out of your body you would do it. Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny how That's the number one thing in the world back then When you find, you know, you find your sexual those feelings and then it just become it beats out video games

You know, I mean comic books It beats out everything and then everything is revolved around That like I want to get those, you know, I saw joy. We don't wear these pants I want the same pants because I know that he gets the girls so I'd make my mom take take me to jc Penning to get the pants. I mean and then like you get colognes, you know, I mean like I remember getting cool water So that's the other kid that I knew had cool water. Do I put colon on then just jerk off? Yeah There is something

Um Nostalgic and kind of turns me on and also curious that's the same thing when boys wear High school Cologne today like if I smell cool waters or aqua digio or any one of those you're like draw car I had your car is a little too ugly. What about what about bod? What about a curve number curve? What is the one speed stick? What is this deodorant? Yeah

Yeah, good deodorant though green. Yeah, you know how mark maren smells? Mark maryland smells like pure patchouli. I like patchouli. Do you like patchouli? Yeah, but he has it on a lot like he owns it Like he owns a patchouli factory like he it's coming out of his pores the first time I smelled patchouli I didn't know what was going on. Yeah, I remember smelling it someplace and I went directly home It was a lot. I didn't like it. Yeah in the beginning, but I think as an older guy You're kind of I get into it a little bit more It smells like somebody's fallen out of a tree. I feel like it has the weirdest smell. Yeah. Yeah, but he likes it You know, man. Yeah, and you always knew no marks in the club because you can smell it in the parking lot

Yeah, you walk in the parking lot. Oh mark's here because I can smell it in the air like some guy falling you get that hit Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I want to talk to you about What are we gonna do something together? People want to do people want to people want to people want to see us together, man. Who wants to see us, huh? So if you like do some boy, uh Snakey send me that fucking rattler daddy. What's it good? Huh? What's it to you, bro? Huh? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, what's it to you? You send me that little one bite thought People want to see us do a project together. No, look, I think it would be fun

I think you know that then some place was interested in us doing maybe a television show Being brothers. So how yeah, how cool would I would do it? It's what honestly was one of the only things I would do I've been offered some stuff. I turn I turn all that stuff down. I don't I'm not but how cool it would be You and I are brothers. Yeah, right and we're on a show. Yeah, that would be amazing Would you have fun doing something like that with me? I think I really would yeah I think it would be probably one of the highlights of my life honestly And also what I would love to do what I would love is like I feel like you and I would like ignore the script Yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah, I'd be like, oh Theo's just doing his own thing

So I'm gonna do my own thing Right and I know it's gonna take probably three days to do one scene Yeah, right, but it'll be cool. You're like guys stop doing this poker scene Please Yeah, yeah, that'd be a cool scene Yeah, yeah, I think it would be interesting of all like all two brothers and they find each other and then they realize all the Problems they have in their life because they didn't have a dad and then they finally find the dad and then maybe they realize They were never brothers after all. Oh, right realize they have each other and now they're okay

I think the show that we were pitched. I was blind for some reason. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, you know, you know about it. Yeah, yeah, but Asian people I think have a little bit of blindness in them You know what I'm saying? Overall You see a good Asian. You're like could be blind What aspect of blindness? Dude, I remember I used to get fucking I did mushrooms at a blonde guy one time when I was in high school What do you see? Huh? Nothing dude. I remember being so high. I remember This kid Gary, right? And I think his parents died. I want to say his parents died

Or not died, but his parents almost died like so close people were like, oh, they're dead But I remember being so high that I remember trying to take my eyes out and put them into his face Oh, wow Just you're a giver Geeked out and dude another time I remember eating mushrooms at a party and I told everybody that somebody had started counting for hide and go seek So everybody went ahead And nobody ever counted. Oh wow people just never came back, bro. Yeah. Yeah

Fucking good times, man But dude, we should shoot a show maybe in vietnam or Taipei or somewhere Or here or America or here America's done bro. America's a shell company That's all it is. What about I show you and I Live on an island maybe in the Philippines or snowboarders or snowboarders and we got to find me wife That's right, baby in the Philippines. You have no snow there. There is one time there is and they need us to help. Yeah I'll be on another honest thing. I want to say to you is that I've had desires of

using for some reason really which drug weed I have a strong desire to do it. It seems like you're going through just like a feeling of like Like you're trying to you're not happy Like there's something I just feel lost a little bit. Really? Yeah Do you feel like you have to always stay sober your whole life? Is there a pressure of that of that feeling? I feel like if I if I I'm afraid that if I do go back, I'll have to do all the shit

I did two years ago, which is like it shipped away somewhere And inevitably, you know, it'll be a crisis, you know, and I don't want the crisis. That's why I haven't done it you know what I mean, but I was um in Brooklyn Monday and I was at a restaurant And the guy goes do you want a drink? And I this has never happened before in my life. I went I looked at the alcohol drink menu And I was like Right and for some reason I went I'll just have a die coke. Then he goes we don't have those. Oh, what is this guy? Right, right, and I and then he goes um, but we make our own

kind of soda we drink So I was like give me that then right, but I remember I'm almost making the decision to do it, but I didn't I think partly because I had to shoot. No, that was I had already shot. So yeah, I think yeah, I would have done it. I think Yeah, do you think like can you like it? Do you think like you just were tired like you're just The world feels boring. Like do you feel like you're angry? Like do you notice any feelings about it? No, I just feel like because of the pandemic and stuff that like it's not truly over if people pretend like it is

But something's different. I feel like it's hitting me now. Yeah Like during the last year. I was fine. I was fine. I was cruising. I was cruising and now My head's completely fucked in ways that I didn't think Could get there Like I hit him and I are going through something similar where I'm like, I don't know what it is But I feel something like shifting And cracking inside me. Yeah, but I think it's a social it's a society thing. I agree with you I agree. I do think I think a lot of people are having to tell a lot of people are going through a lot

I had six friends. That's why my one of my whole things about the pandemic has been like all the separation is not good Like I've had six friends that overdosed and died that I knew like six friends, right? Wow deceased gone During this whole thing. I mean we had Eric Meyers that comedian I mean, that's let me just it all feels fake. It all feels like everybody and when the things start back Everything's gonna turn the key and we'll be right back in and I never got to talk about Eric And I want to talk about him now. I never was able when he died. I never talked about him and um, I just want to say that Eric Meyers was one of those guys. I remember being in dc

And these are years ago and and they go this is your opener and this guy the skinny white kid comes in It's just shy And I was like, he didn't even seem like a comic. I think he looked like a carney Yeah, he did look like carnal. He ran a couple snowball stands and not well. Yeah. Yeah And I go go he once I saw him up. I got scared because I go. Oh, shit. This guy's legit Like a killer. Yeah, and every time I'd see perform He would kill but then sometimes I would see him in the streets and he was a homeless person Yeah, like one time he had

I was at the store during the day picking up a check and the manager goes I think Eric Meyers is outside and I went outside. He was wearing no shoes He was wearing yellow pajama pants, right? And he had and they were yellow But I but there was blood Coming through the knees. Mm-hmm. So they were stained in there, right? He had a gash on his head But you know, it felt like the blood had Coagulated on his head and dried. So it was like a blood knot like a kill bill extra almost

Yeah, yeah, and he had right down and he was shaking. He was like, I need money and I go and I and I know being a sober guy I shouldn't give him money, but I think I gave him like 300 dollars to get a hotel room In some food and stuff and then he would get sober again. He would look great. You'd see him perform and then One day he just I get a call Johnny Sanchez called me. It's that Eric died And I don't even know how he died. I think I heard he got run over by a truck or something Big truck bus Did the bus really run him over? Yeah, how could have been a truck? But how does a bus run you over? He got off. No, he got off of a bus and got hit by a truck

Is what happened? He got off a bus. I think he got this all speculation as well I heard that he got into an argument on a bus or didn't want to be on a bus anymore And I frequently greyhound I get it, you know what I'm saying? There's always somebody's showing you at her dick Somebody's selling you drugs that you've never even heard of, you know And you're you know, you want it. It's just not it's bad Yeah, the bathroom's out of order somebody's fucking building the air conditioning vent up in their seat You know, I said, there's a lot of fucking DIY shit going on. Yeah. Yeah, but anyway, he got upset on the bus got off the bus

I was wandering around the interstate in the middle of the night and got hit by car But it was because he'd relapsed that was the thing that's what's over for a while. Yeah It's just a lot of people struggle. I think the separation I think a lot of people feel that like what is going on. I thought I felt like our society There was like a thing and we're all part of something and now a lot of it feels kind of Solimentary or whatever Solimentary

Like um What is solimentary? Solimentary, it means like childish and by yourself kind of oh, that's it feels like it doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense Yeah, I think that's what I'm feeling and um I'm scared, baby I'm scared. Are you really? Yeah Yeah, because I got I mean, I've been trying to convince people Like I had dinner with a friend at last night. I was trying to convince him

I go, it'd be okay if I was smoking weed, right? He's like, no I'm like, okay, but if you would have said it, I'd be fine with it I probably would have done it. You know what I mean? But like I'm getting I tell I've been telling me therapists last week I go, yeah, it's strong. Does I have drinking and she's like no So then it just kind of kind of goes. Oh, yeah, she's right, right? Like it's been tough. The pandemic's been tough. I mean people are fucking overdosing and dying. So it's like You know, like it's been tough. It's been a tough time for me to stay sober. I've had some slips through the pandemic I went off to that pcs one time. Remember you told me oh, yeah, how long were you there for?

I was there for a week eight days or whatever. Yeah, it was awesome. Did you like it? It was really awesome. Okay. Yeah I would go back. I think in january. I'm gonna go do like a 30 day somewhere. Oh, really? Yeah, just to get out of everything It's just you know, and we're making content all the time things feel sometimes intense and exhausting. Yeah It's a it's just a hard time And I and I I know you when I joke jokes and giggles and we make things up But it's like it's good to be gotta be easy on yourself. Yeah, man You're my leader sometimes man. I know when I need help man, and I text you I say, man I need some help. Yeah, I know you I'm telling you right now. I'm on the fence man. Yeah, I'm struggling and

Um, I've been feeling it for a while. I think you know, is it some of it angry? You feel like is I feel angry a lot of times I feel anger. Yeah, I feel anger. I also feel just kind of like Lost I just I can't I can't explain it And I think that if there was in-house a meetings and stuff like if I could go to sundown or some sundays Why don't you they're not they're all zoom. Oh, they're all they still aren't yeah, and it's like and it's weird. It's like I can't for some reason it Doing it on zoom like because I start playing like you know my video games on my phone Right, or like I'll I remember me and some other comic

We were on that Wednesday meeting and we're killing jokes about people's eyebrows or whatever You know me and we would laugh at like look at John's eyebrows right now And then like you know how you could do a side direct message thing on the zoom, right? And we'd be giggling. It's not real You know, but um anyway But you know what I haven't done it yet, and I feel good right now because I'm with my buddy Theo, right? Sons and daughters Brothers and sisters. Oh brother, brother. Sorry. I'm not standing. I'm not standing Sons and daughters. This is not a graduation

Sorry, I scared everyone, you know what I mean. Do we have an unhelpful advice? We do. Okay, go ahead Unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalala and Theo Bob I know so I just would buy it to you you guys and call me abby Here's the quick Bobby version before she gives us the full thing. I was molested as a kid now And I'm grown should I tell my family what happened some details for context I was molested as a kid by my next door neighbor and yes fat kids also get molested It happened when I was five to seven years old. I am now 24 years old My family never knew about it and stopped after we moved

I need some help that I'm 24 and moved on with my life and process all that junk I have a hub a hubby and a dog and I'm in my second year of law school and I love it. It's a very nice life I'm little fucked up on the inside. Maybe that's why I love tiger bellies so much My family still doesn't know and sometimes it feels like they don't understand a huge portion of the struggle That made me into the woman I am today. They are super big bible thumping christians Sometimes I don't fit in with them lol help this molested kid out. So essentially I want to she wants to tell her family. I've been little a lot. Yeah Was it? I

Um, I I I had an instance with a black man that touched my penis one time How old were you and He was 22 remember and sometimes people were like your race is like I didn't I wasn't upset at the guy because he was black You know what I'm saying? Yeah I was upset that the guy touched my penis outside You know at a part at not a party where a kid's swimming in this like big like um Bucket basically a pool

And no a bucket. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't call it a pool man I appreciate the fucking yeah, yeah straight up Yeah, I appreciate you trying to have that for me. Yeah. Yeah hypothetically and imaginatively, but I know it was it was large It was a cistern or whatever, you know It was part of something maybe the top was sharp the top was sharp I see it if somebody kind of lift you in and out and this guy just kept lifting us and just fucking overlifting us Yeah, it was like dude. You're lifting us by our dick, you know Yeah, they're like it's getting weird, but uh, but it wasn't like something real sick. Anyway, this isn't about me

This is about somebody who rode into the show Oh, I mean this my aunt used to do this In korean you go go to you know, I mean pull out your dick. She would say yeah, and it'd be like five male cousins And my brother and I and we pull our dick and she would like Like just tickle it. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah, it should be giggling All right, we wouldn't get around but I always found it weird Yeah, man. Yeah, like and I would be I would do it because you know, I mean Here's what I'll say

I think you just told us you're undiddle because guys your penis is this fun, buddy. It's like my buddy. Yeah, it's your buddy Yeah, um brace yourself for double the disappointment because when I I confronted my family about not having my back when an older family member molested me I didn't get the reaction that I wanted And it kind of made me spiral even more because I'm like Oh, what was the point of even attempting to open up with them? And I would have I would be forced into this situation with my abuser and I'd have to spend Christmas with him And everyone's just like come on. It's Christmas. Like just let it all go and I'm like I love Christmas

I I know my favorite, but so I would say manage your expectations. I don't No, I love it too. I love it too. Stop. I love it too. He's making hands. I know. I'm not your motherfuckers. I love Christmas, man Yeah, yeah, we'll talk about that later. I like Christmas carols too. I love Christmas carols Yeah, caroling is still a thing in the Philippines. So it's a fielding thing. Uh-huh. Just don't don't do it in the house Sometimes one time they came into the house. Can we carol? We should go caroling. Can we finish our advice for the trauma? I know I'm just saying though when the carolers come in the house, like we didn't invite them in They opened it and they just walked in. We didn't say come on in, you know, that's weird. That's burglary

Okay. Oh, that is. Oh, they didn't sing or anything. They just took our vcr. So what happened at Christmas? I'm sorry. We interrupted. I'm telling this girl manage your expectations He might feel like you're you know, you especially if they're like bible thumpers and stuff They might feel the need to just sweep it under the rug. So just don't expect too much, but Maybe just You know, yeah finds a way to forgive if you can. Yeah some way. I don't know. I don't know I I didn't have that, you know, whoever molested you didn't molest me. So that's your you know more about it than I do I shouldn't give any suggestions, but

um I think I think saying it to your parents without any expectations to get it off. Yeah Just to give them the information just to give them context of why you were probably this way without expecting anything back Yeah, because a lot of people are I know a bit a lot of people fry on their own fish right now, man I think a lot of people are just stuck thinking about what is my life mean? Is there the rat race? What's going on? Should I live in a city? Should I live in the woods? What is what is society mean? What are we doing? Like I think a lot of things feel confusing to people Um, did you yeah happy birthday text?

Did I see a happy birthday text? I did a voice memo. Oh, yeah, you did Thank you, man. I sent you a nice one and then it got the end got a little weird And so I deleted that one and sent you a second one honestly. I like that. I liked it. I remember Thank you. You said nice. You said something nice. I wanted to be at your party, man I that'd be that would have been great. Are you in town for a while or no? Um, no, I'm leaving tomorrow going where I'm going to now. I got some tour dates. I'm gonna I'm doing touring right now Okay, give me the tour dates some of the weekends. Where I don't even know where they are Wilkes bar Wilmington

Minneapolis Charleston there's like there's like there you go. There's some tickets left in a few places Are you doing theaters or clubs? We're doing theaters. That's amazing, dude Like you're doing pantages. Yeah, we got three nights over there. We got Uh, no, Asheville. Love Asheville. That's amazing. Yeah, we've just had we it's been amazing, man I can't believe I'm so grateful. I can't even believe that people come out. So Dominion energy center That seems like a big venue. How many seats is that you think? Dominion energy

I would probably say but it's not I bet it's like 1600 That's still huge. That's amazing. That's amazing. Are they fun to do? But I'm afraid to do theaters because I don't think I can sell them out You know, hey, you could sell out the entire universe if you went on a big tour True easily and be that's nice for you to say. I would buy tickets probably I would scout them, but I would buy Oh, you wouldn't watch this? Imagine imagine if we all went what would we do it like if me you Santino we are mean Segura, Chrysler. We all did a big tour

How many seats do you think we could sell? I think you could sell 15,000. I think you could sell like the bridge, you know You're arena's staple. I may imagine doing that like just like a bunch of hard-kitting podcasts to it. Would that be cool? I would go on one with you if we wanted to do bigger venues and sell like uh, just do one night or whatever. You think so? That'd be fun. Huh? Fun. Yeah. Yeah, it'd be so much fun. Anyway, you know, I you know, I was really depressed before you got here And um, I'm glad you came on. I got a little hyperactive when I did the preacher stuff You know, I scared people in the room. I feel like

Well, I get nervous. I'll do stuff. That's racial. I feel like so I feel you man. Yeah, I'll do something to feel We do something to feel make it feel weird for us, but um, but I love you man. I love you so much. Have you doing good? Yeah, we got the Netflix show coming out. Just watch it. Check it out Don't even watch it if you want to just press play and go to sleep and do me So it's your special on that's kind of amazing, man. Yeah, it's called regular people. It's gonna be huge, man It's gonna be exciting. I'm just glad that I'm glad that it's done. It's been a lot of work Yeah, yeah, you know, but I'm really excited. Yeah, and I'm going up tonight or no I'm grateful that people came out and been supportive. You performed me tonight

No, okay. I'm chillin man. I've been taking it easy Give the oven a round of applause, man And I love you guys, man. I really do this is love man. Thank you for welcoming me here, man And making me feel welcome The obon Hey guys, my name is Sloane I'm gonna be singing the tiger belly theme song this week If you do want to listen to more of my music, you can head to my youtube channel or my instagram

Come on Hey prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad-free on amazon music Download the abazon music app today or you can listen ad-free with wondery plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey