TigerBelly - Ep 328: Meghan Trainor & The Wicked Witch of the Wild Wild West

Episode Date: December 22, 2021

Bobby dances at AGT with the Jumanji 9. Meghan writes a new song for us. Ryan is American Psycho. Khalyla finally tells her uncle's full backstory. We talk a pound from Channing, the forgotten ones, Korean inner thigh massages, and we send Eli Roth a selfie. Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly ad-free on Amazon music download the app today Hey Five four three two Mama, I'm home. Mama. I'm scared. Mama. Daddy's drunk Mama He's caring me. I don't know why I just opened that way. Is that one of her songs? I don't know why they just opened that way. I think it's like I don't know why I just opened that way You're tapping to a deeper part. Let's start over. That was a bad opening. Let's be more positive. Okay. Yeah, but I like this

No, just go go go hit five four three daddy Rice in your hair. I'm Asian very Asian Asians have rice in their hair It's a good rice, too. It's fresh. It's I only have fucking Japanese sushi rice in my head The prime shit. All right, or a maggot. I can't tell it's a maggot as well So let's let's so we let's introduce everyone in the room. Okay, so my name is Bobby Lee. I'm a comedian I've act sometimes, you know, I do um, I've done cooking shows You really actually I've done some cooking shows. I've done some stand-up on television I'm just an entertainer. Would you say average?

We've got Kalilah like We got my girlfriend Kalilah. All right, you watch your fucking mouth lady And then we got I don't want very good that felt right for me right now. It was rude, but right. Okay. That's all you get Gilbert, right? What up? What's up Daryl? What's up dog? You're good. What a cute. Is that your natural hair? It's like reddish But deep deep. It's like a deep dune like the movie dude. They would have that hair in the movie dune

HBO max check it out. It's on it's playing now I'm really good. And then so we got so You know, we've had all kinds of people on on the show we've had athletic have you had athletics Michael Bissby Michael Bissby's athletics. What else? That's it. That's the only athletics we had. Yeah, I know so many other athletics like we tried to get Venus sir Do which one do I know? I know We've had all kinds of people the thing right

Let's go because we want to get to the I guess sorry So we've had one on athletics a couple people athletics, right? We've had some chefs, right? We've had rock stars couple rock stars, you know, we've had mostly comedians some actors Yeah, a couple of directors, but we've never had a pop star and a lot of rock stars You know, I mean they blow up and they're like, you know, I mean at the top of the top of the you know The echelons in the world untouchables, right? Yeah, and they all have you know a brother. That's a little You know me You know all pop stars have a brother. It's a little you're me. It's so we've got her little brother

Older brother right right can I call you right right fuck? Yes, right? So give them around to make it rainer Make it rainer and her little brother, right, right? I don't care. Okay. I'll be a little better. Give a fuck. Oh, yeah Yeah, welcome. Thanks for coming. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much. We're dying. Oh man So Megan Grammy Yeah, we did it, right? No, and also best new artist from the Grammys, right? Thank you billboard awards You Wikipediaed me. No, I don't even know what that is Here thank you so much and then right right, uh you graduated from high school. Yep 2011

Regional what not so regional high. All right. Where is that at that Cape Cod? Mass. Yeah. All right. I went to college for a couple years More than me. I put in three where University Tampa, Florida. Oh shit. Why didn't you graduate? Well, I yanked him out. Yeah I had like two more years on a five-year. All right. I was not good at school What did you want to be when you grew up? I I still don't know. I the major that worked well was advertising in PR. I was like, I could bullshit Yeah, so this is this will work for me and then she was like don't even bother

You could bullshit la now when you were in college and was she blowing up at the time? Yes Um, yeah, well the summer I was 21 about to go into senior year. What a great fucking summer. I peaked How proud were you so proud we played her song every day at the bar Yeah, you know, it's like, um Um, I have a little brother too Right his name is D. B. All right, and he's doing well too. You know, he is And there is a pride there When you are when you're a sibling and your other sibling is doing well

There's a pride there and do you have that pride for your little rye rye? They both live with me. Both of my brothers. No. Yeah, that's why he wanted to go Is that why you came? What happened? Well, my little brother wanted to come with us because last night we were all talking about like, oh my god tomorrow's the best day of our lives Well, he was drunk at harry style show and was just like, oh bobby lii. I fucking love I gotta go play video games. Yeah, I want to play warzone. Bobby lii He's like, I could do that. I could die happy. What happened to today. What happened to today?

I don't know man. He's kicked in the work here. This is a good thing for nature. I gotta do my thing I was like, fuck you then. That'll make me. I'm proud. I'm proud of Jason You know what? I you're in with me for life. Really? Yeah, you're in for a little rye rye You're in with me for life. Darryl. You're in your brother. What's your brother's name? jay train. Justin. Justin Justin if you're listening to me You're out. Is he the little one? Yeah. Yeah, you little you're little even littler than ryan You fuck you betray us We invite you into our home. I had to ask right. What do you say today?

What do you say today? He was like, well, miscommunication then you should have talked to me hours ago Yeah, he's like, I told you at 10 30. I guess I should have told I should have told me what's his number How do you memorize numbers because it's the same one Do you want to just even be in the family? Yeah, you facetime answer. I don't want to facetime him He probably won't answer. He hates scam calls. It's probably going to come up as potential spam. Why? I'm not spam You love spam unless he thinks maybe you're one of his doctors or something. Yeah, I'm his doctor. Oh, yeah, dr. Kobayashi Hi, this is dr. Kobayashi

Uh, hey, how's it going? Hi Justin, um, you had an appointment today at three. You didn't show up? Uh I'm just sorry Dr. Who I'm done. I do not have this in my calendar. I'm so sorry dr. Kobayashi. Yeah I am so sorry if I'm not familiar, but I'm Completely blanking. Okay. Well, Justin, you know, you made an appointment a couple of months ago We would like to reschedule but we want we also want to know what the problem is. I'm not there Bobby Lee

Now Justin Justin Justin, you know, let me say something dude There's dr. Kobayashi. Now listen, I've had So many heartbreaks in my life. I've had three major ones when my dad died Okay, when a girl cheated on me in my early 20s and now you're the third you broke my fucking heart today, Justin We're not coming over I'm so sorry. I broke your heart. What's excuse. This is not my intention. What the fucking excuse There is no fucking excuse

She asked me that I wanted to go. I said yes, I wanted to go Yeah, I woke up this feeling like shit and I have a lot of songs. I need to finish I gotta walk these dogs. I gotta work out. All right. That's enough. That's enough for me I just want to let you know that your brother Ryan told me and it wasn't even a joke He was saying that you barely have a penis at all. Now. What does that mean? Were you in an accident? Like you were in a motorcycle accident got ripped off. What happened? Anyway, okay. Well, anyway, you don't want to get into your fucking you're mean personal shit Wait, what do you say? What do you say? What do you say? Say it again, man. I said he can't be any smaller than you

All right. Good day, sir. Good day, sir. Oh, what a fucking asshole Anyway, give him a round of applause Nobody loves you more than Justin trainer. I could tell I can tell Justin trainer loves me Right. He loves dr. Kobayashi. Oh my god. I don't you don't understand. He sees so many Because he like recently lost so much weight, but his body's still in shambles So he's like trying to figure out physical therapy all this shit. So like that was you got him good I got him good there. So good. So polite dying. Yes. Who was the gentleman? He also misses a woman

Also, dr. Kobayashi was nice. Yeah, I didn't feel like he was aggressive at all. I can't believe you Yeah, so you're proud of your sister you you better be because she's a pop star now, right? I mean, it's just I'm constantly proud of her right even like having the kid Riley I was just like holy fuck. You did it. You're a mom like survived just a beautiful healthy boy C-section How did that go? Not good. Uh, tell me what c-section. There's nothing about the oh my god So they cut you open while you're awake. Why not and then they pull out all your guts and insides And then they can ask you a question. Yeah, Megan

Is it because you're My vagine was broken. No, it's not broken. Oh, is it because your shit is tight? It is tight Yeah, the canal I was told today. It was tight. Yeah, you see you have to you have tight canal I have tight canals. Um, but he was also Relax, right? That's all he got. He was sideways. All right. He was oh So I couldn't push him out even if I try. Oh really? So what do they they cut a little thing and like a little and they pull down there Oh my god, and they're like, don't worry. You're bikini. You're bikini. Well, I'm like, I don't know

But yeah, I get I got a scar right here and it goes across all my stretch marks So it's gorgeous and they pull out all my guts and then they pull out the baby Then they put all my guts back in And then they sew it back up and you're awake and I didn't know if I would hear anything or feel anything You're numb, but it's like getting your your teeth worked on. So I was like you could feel the pressure. They actually Oh god, you can hear it and smell your skin burning. It's gross. Whoa your skin's burning for no reason I've never like broken a bone and never had stitches. This was tough for me Really? Yeah, but I survive. They don't numb it. They numb you. Yeah, they put a big needle in your back

Yeah, and then it numbs from like boobs down Why can't they work around the organ? I don't know man, but yeah, thanks sweetie I don't think you have full understanding. Maybe it's under the organ. Listen. I have a full understanding of the human anatomy Yeah, okay. So what I'm saying is is that you have your large intestines, correct? I bet you for if you were a doctor you cut from the back Oh, it's probably easier. Maybe somebody hasn't thought about that Right, maybe work around the spine All right, so

You have to pull it all out is what you're saying. Okay, so you can't delicately, but you can't just feel delicate It's it's in a it's seven minutes though. Yeah seven minutes of like cutting you getting the baby out Um, and then it's 45 minutes of vacuum suck put everything back in. Oh my god And the recovery for c-sections is a lot harder than um a vaginal But no shit. Yeah, because they opened you up. Well, like a lot of people say sliced. Yeah, they slice you my god And so they stuck it in back in but see I didn't have contractions That's why people are like c-sections are easy and I'm like, no, it's not Yeah, I thought it was just like, you know, book your appointment you go in and out boom, baby

It felt like then after you're like, I thought it was a bougie experience Oh, you never saw the movies where like it's three in the morning and then the husband has to Ferociously drive to the yeah, we didn't have to go through anything But like yeah, we knew like friday at noon. It was like ordering pizza Like that was nice that was nice not guessing it was nice So the baby comes out they sew you up They put the intestines back in and then you're looking at your baby now. Did they put it? Oh because he went to the nikyu So he went to like you the club

Great club like yeah a place for when babies need help So he wasn't like waking up like he wasn't crying and I was like, what the fuck and I was just laying there And the doctor was like daddy, you should go with the baby and I was like, don't leave me and they were like you should go And he left which it's okay. And so I lay there for 45 minutes just like Surrender surrender surrender while they sewed me back together again You didn't think you were gonna die though, right? No, I didn't think I was gonna die I was just like hope my kids alive because this sucks. Awesome. So when you went to when you went to the uh with the baby Did you fall in love?

It was a mini him. So yeah, look just like him a little redhead. Is it the most beautiful experience you've ever? Yeah Oh when he wouldn't open his eyes and stuff. Yeah, no cry Yeah, no It also fuck I would be freaking the fuck out dude. I was like, why isn't he crying? That was my thought and Yeah, he was smiling imagine me there, babe Ah, you wouldn't last I don't think you'd even last a procedure They even asked the husband like do you want to see and I'm like, don't look at my insides, you know

Well, our favorite show is my 600 pound line. Me too. It's our favorite. We have so much income I watch it and then I go to the gym That's the only thing I guess we watch it and we we make love feast. Yeah. Oh, I don't see there's something very I'm sorry Oh, I was scratching my genitals. I'm sorry. It was wrong timing Our first Christmas together, I got him a framed picture of dr. Now And I'd fuck him I think But he can't even watch any of the surgeries on the show. So I can't imagine you would be able to watch anything in real life But I've seen your vagina before

Close in person but it's different if another dude's coming out of it. I think I'll be able to handle it Why is the whole dude? I've seen that too. I've seen my aunt give birth twice No, so I was ready to push and then they were like, no, he's sideways when your aunt was giving birth How old were you? I was 14 years old and you're in the room. Yeah, I was like, what are you doing in there? I went in to say hi and then the contraction started again And they forgot about me and then I became so like into it and involved that I was holding her leg like Done not like counting. Oh, wow. The miracle of life. They call it. Yeah, I was crying. I was like, this is bad Right little man. Yeah, what's up?

Chill. Yeah, it's called the miracle of life. You better get with it I I'm with it. I'm with it after holding him for the first time I was like, I gotta get my shit together and it wasn't even my kid. It's like my nephew. He's my nephew Yeah, is there a love there? There's a love for sure. I see him every day and I'm like He smiles at him like so much He's a cool uncle. You don't have good uncles. They're not as monstrous as him But I'm a little right. You're aggressive in this scene. I know but you walked in and there was yeah, you missed this Am I that he said I had sexual energy. I just walked. He's like, you're a man, man. I stand out. Take a bow. Get up. Yeah

Take a spin. Boom. Oh, you're a big boy. He's a big boy. Yeah He's a big guy. He's your type. Is that your type? Yeah, he's my big baby boy right here Why it's uncomfortable. Why do I don't want to do that with a guest? No, you did. I apologize. I don't want to do that with a guy. My hairstylist, he's like He's my baby boy. I love you. He's like, he knows your baby boy. Yeah I mean, I'm straight, but I'm okay with any kind of affection. I think I'm very vain. Maybe I don't know I love any kind of Love and affection attention good and I love giving it

So ryan, I want to say this. Okay. Yeah, I met a guy the other night And don't say it to me. Well because I didn't know really much about him but tatum Oh my god, canning tatum canning tatum. Yeah, he says who is tatum canning I said that for like three years. I was doing it. I'm adam. It's hard. I met the tatum the tatter. Right He's gorgeous, right? He's gorgeous and he pounded me. Mm-hmm. Oh Oh, fuck. Yeah, dude And when I did this it was like this Like this is his fist clothe. Oh, he's a big boy. Oh, right and he pounded me like that

And I kind of my dick Spasm it was a spasm not an erection, right? Yes, and then I got nervous because like, oh, it's tatum shining Right because I know from the from the dancing the mickey. Yes, right? What's it called the mickey magic? Magic mickey magic mickey Good movie. I did not see that one. Yeah, but I have to say something meeting him, right? It's not as impressive as

Yeah, man, and it's not sexual. Okay. Yeah, I just I'm it's from afar Right. Basically, it's this. I'm a baby. You're my uncle. Okay, right? I could be your uncle. Hear me out. Yeah I'm going gaga-google. Okay on your chest. Yeah, all right If I was your if you were my uncle, yeah, I would have tears Dripping down my face as a baby if you were holding me How does that feel?

My heart is melting. Exactly But like happy tears or probably dreadful. Okay, probably probably 50-50. Maybe fear and joy Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I don't know about you man. Okay. Yeah, but do you have a girl? I don't never do He's always on my fucking case. She's like get a girlfriend make it your wife. Have a kid. He has commitment issues. I'm 28 What kind what kind of commitment? Break it down break it down. I don't know dude. I just do the classic LA thing Six months. What are you doing? See you later? I could move on I'm a girl. I meet you at a bar. Okay. Okay. Let's just reenact it. Hold on for a second

What impresses you on first first meeting? I well, I think things are changing now because I used to be an alcoholic and a drug addict and just turn that around So at first, you know, I'm very I was very shallow. I think now I'm looking for more stuff But I love like, you know, bimbo at the bar. You know, it's great. Let's have a good night. Did you get sober? It's cool turkey. Yeah. Yeah, that's amazing. I fell on my face. You know, didn't want to die. I woke up I love my mom and Megan family and I was like, I gotta switch it up here And it was time kind of over the whole party scene anyways, so yeah So let's reenact something. Okay. Yeah. I'm a girl. Yeah. I'm at a bar

Well, he doesn't drink. Yeah, okay. No, I'll still be at a bar. I still go out. He goes out. Yeah Okay, so this is well, this is the dilemma because I want to practice this because now I'm like, how do I buy someone drinks? You'd be like, I'm not drinking, you know, it's actually yeah, my favorite things. Really? What are you? Yeah, it's so American psycho It turns me on That's how I ended up with that Australian guy. He was like, let me buy you the drinks. Oh, sorry. I don't drink and I'm like Oh, like she she went out with a man What do you mean? Australian man's pretty buff the big boy. Yeah, but with a lot of big boys what I'm saying that was the allure

Like the allure I told him girls are going to be like, wow, he's responsible, you know Yeah, because I haven't really attempted yet or a psychopath one of the two. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but both good things Yeah for the night or like baggage. Yeah Still good. All right. Yeah, am I Eugene Levy from Best in Show? No, you're a Catherine O'Hara I am I'm Catherine. Oh, I'm Catherine. Yeah. All right with a broken leg Okay, so um, I'm a girl I'm at a bar

I'm gonna stand up. I'm gonna sound like such a dude No, no, if it doesn't work we edit it. No, it's fine. Edit it a little rye. Rye. Okay. Okay I have to raise a roof Now it's over. I'm sitting down You're sweating a bit. I'm sweating a lot. You're parched. In fact, my, um, imagine this, right? My nipples, right? Yeah, they're hard. No, they're not hard. Oh, sorry. Whoa bad first move, dude That's the first thing you say to a woman You think that way girls look at you their tits automatically get hard

You think that's your X-Men power? To be fair your nipples are hard If you do you're making them hard, okay Now what next scene Hey, I saw you, uh, I saw you dancing out there. There was like, did you freestyle those tiktok dances? Well, no, I mean, I just you know, I'm a modern dancer Yeah, so yeah, I'm a part of a crew. Yeah, do you dance for like pop acts or no, we did. Um, we auditioned for american idol Not american

No, no, I affected the other one America's got talent. Cool. Yeah dream to be in like a music video by chance. No, I'm not in a music video I just said that I was do you want to be though when I finished Can I can I finish what I did with america's got talent first before I give you that information first or yeah Yeah, yeah, because I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know why you're rushing though because of my nipples are hard I am distracted by all right. Is it distracting you? Anyway, no, so I was in america's got talent and um, I have a dance crew called jumanji jumanji nine Yeah, it's just nine of us and we it's based on the movies with john with joanji

All that is it Which one is it jumanji? But john jumanji, but john jumanji anyway, we went to the semi finals. We didn't get through the finals But um, yeah, so that's my dancing background. I love that for you. Yeah, would you like to drink by chance? What about you me? Yeah, I mean if you want to like further your dancing career my sister's famous. She's a pop star You don't tell them that He never tells That is a great

It's you really tell them that you really tell them that he would I mean if she's a dancer I'd be like, oh cool. Maybe you know some of my sister's dancers. Who's your sister megan trainer? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you know what and you're in you're in you're in I want to say something to you right. Yeah. Yeah, all right. Yeah Always use that. Yeah, I mean it depends on if it's someone that It's like this could last longer. I'm really gonna slow play that But if it's like, all right, this could be fun tonight. How cool would it be? Rai Rai, right? If you were able to get in without that. Yeah. Yeah, check it out though

So she doesn't know that megan trainers your sister, right, right? You date her for a couple like six months Impossible to do without her knowing her meeting her. All right fine a month lives in my house three weeks Two weeks a night two weeks. It would be two weeks before she would have to meet my entire family My mom and my dad who's over so two weeks and then She so happens to realize That megan trainers your sister and you never even mentioned it. How punk rock is that that's punk rock You know what sad is one night. He hooked up with this girl when we were like working

And and tell him because it fucks me up, man I was like, I'm just here. I'm a videographer. I work with megan trainers. She's like she fucking sucks. And I'm like, I know, right? And then he bathed her and then the next morning she's like, what's your Instagram? I mean, she's like, oh my god. That's your sister. I go. Yeah. It's good. Good to meet you That's fucked up. That's so fucked up He betrayed you. Oh, I did it I got her like she was just like would you have done it? We would have never done that. I know

No, yeah, whatever. What do you mean? Whatever dude? Why am I on my knees? I don't know man. For me, Bobby My bad So you um, you you fucked a non-fan a non-fan. Yeah, I hate her. I think that's better No, you do. Yeah, good. I don't want to fuck a fan Yeah, spooky. Yeah. Oh, yes fans are spooky. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you so you didn't use it then? Use it use the megan trainer thing to get her I just said it worked. Yeah, because I was always traveling and drinking. I'm like, yeah, I'm just here working

Wasn't she one of my dancers? No, no, no, no different. What did you Okay, let's get this other one. Little rye little rye Little rye rye. Little rye rye. Look at me. The answer sir. Rye is very relevant. Did you uh, hook up with the dancer as well? I can't go into details. Okay. I don't want to do it. But that was like my I was like, she's gorgeous, you know I was just like, yeah Uh, yeah, how did you two meet? Um, no George and Megan Do you see Daryl's face? Daryl

Vietnam war together We met through, um Daryl, can I join you? Yeah, it's all you met and they're a lot close No, um, we met through, um an actress Chloe Grace Moretz. Oh I became friends with her and she was friends with him and I was like I'm looking for a really nice guy and then we went on a double date with her and Brooklyn Beckham Wow I had no idea who he was So you she was like his mom gave me a shirt and I was like that's so nice of her

But it was like her clothing line and I was like I had no idea. What a great double date. It was our double dates are fuggly Because I'm fuggling we're just generally like whoever we double date with it's always going to be like You know, we're not every double date with though. I'm scared to double date I mean, I don't have any couple friends really that are out here Yeah, this was like years ago. They don't really do much. We're like we're I'm 27 and you're 28 And we're like the only people our age that are married with kids Oh, so Daryl's 29. Oh are you 29? Yes

Would you oh, it's okay I love it. I love it. I love it. It's okay Daryl. She still loves you Yeah so, um So you guys fell in love at when you first I was 20 22 when you lock eyes it does it was it already he was love at first sight with me I was like Oh, like just because he looked like grunge. He had a hole in the shirt. He had a beard

I came in full glam from work like I had fake extensions in I had a gown on and they were in like Chloe was wearing jeans shorts. I was like fucking change right now I'm in heels. This was a date. What is going on? Yeah So, yeah, but he was obsessed with me and then I knew that night. I was like I'm gonna keep him Oh She brought him on tour right away and I was just like what the fuck's going on day six We said we loved each other and then I was like come on tour and then he never left. He never left I was like, he's still on the bus. That's incredible. I moved in with us. No, let me ask you something

Was that pre-potent? Daryl with the beard. There he is. Oh, Jesus. That's a beard Daryl. He's an actor. He was um in spy kids You guys remember those movies? You know Taylor Lautner when I saw your face. I was like, what the fuck kind of face? I know the face My kid's on the screen. Oh, I'm gonna. Yeah. Yeah. I'm married a blocking legend. So that's a legend right here, dude Yeah, we got cutie is daddy. Yeah Can I ask you a question Daryl as an actor? Do you feel maybe uh, do I may swing my mic to him or something? Oh, you do space in between Oh

Cute, I do remember you. Oh, jeez. I remember you the cheeks on the guy with the cheeks on you Awesome, dude. So spy kids. How many did you do two movies three four three five? I'm gonna let them answer three. No, we do four four movie The fourth is embarrassing. Is it me? Is it Robert Rodriguez? Yeah, does he direct all of them? Yeah What a genius. Mm-hmm. What a great fucking director. It was wild. Oh, so cute. So fucking cute, man I met Robert. I met Robert when I was six I had like no front teeth

We talked about flying cars and then six months later I'm doing that shit. Wow. He's a legend, dude. Yeah, I love all his work. Yeah, so creative So creative he came with the Tarantino that whole vibe and uh Tarantino and I grew up in torrents together So the couple times I met him. I just was like torrents just so he would look at my direction Yeah, he was like Did you really grow up in torrents? Yeah. Yeah. I like him. Yeah. I met him a couple times too. I like him a lot Yeah, genius. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, and then Eli Roth Love Eli. That's a good friend of mine too. I did this movie Borderlands. Yeah, um

Do you know Eli? Yeah, we did a movie green inferno together No, yeah, let me take a photo. Can I take a photo with him and then send it to Eli? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we do that? Yeah. Or is that weird? No, I didn't. I love her. Like what is that? What's a week? This is what this is. Yeah, this is what this is. Hollywood night, baby. It's what friends do, yeah. Hollywood night, baby. Hollywood night, baby. He's dying now. No, they're ready to kiss. I didn't do it.

We can do it. Everything's fine. God, I fucking love this. It's the best day. Put this on like I'm helping. I'm gonna post it, baby. Yes. Do it. I don't ever post. My kids. Oh my god. I just post my baby, but you can be the new baby. Send it to him. Send it to him. Yeah, text it to him. Eli, yeah.

If I post, right? Yeah. Would you be posting? Oh my fucking, yeah. Are you kidding me? I'd be honored. I don't post. Megan's my social media manager because like I don't, I grew up with like not posting things and now posting is a thing. Yeah. Jill's really cool. He's too cool. What's your last name, Darrell?

He's just bad at captions. Sabara. Wow, look at the followers. It's all Megan. And look at the beautiful baby. Right? How cute. Look at the beautiful fucking baby. Oh my god. So cute.

Dude, this is pure America right there. That's an American soldier right there. Yeah. Look at him go. The picture below is the spy kid off of my mom made for him right there. Look how happy he is. He's a happy boy. We call him smiley Riley.

Does he cry at all? Sometimes when his teeth are coming in. So he'll like cry and then laugh. I like that mirror one. Oh yeah, he loves looking at himself. I don't know if that's a bad thing. I think it's a bad thing. Dr. Kobayashi?

Dr. Kobayashi. I think it's a bad thing. No, but I don't think it's a bad thing if a girl, if a kid, I like to look in the mirror. Oh, you like to look in the mirror a lot. Really? A lot, a lot. He loves his body. That's good.

Yeah, that's the one thing I found really attractive about him is that, like, he really loves his shape, his height, everything about him. My therapist is like, I just stand in the mirror and ask Naked for five minutes a day and I can't do it.

I crumble. She looks in the mirror and she goes, oh, I look like trash and walks away. What are you doing? I'm a linebacker. Yeah, dude. Well, I have to say that that's astounding to me.

Because you're beautiful. But not only that, your music is iconic. I know. But if I'm like, you know what I mean? It's one of those, you're the type of star that you can listen to it anywhere. Thank you so much.

So you have the beauty, you have the talent, you have the charisma, you're a very funny person as well. So, tomorrow morning, as Dr. Kavukovic I should say, get completely naked. That's how you do it, right? That's how I do it. I get completely naked.

I get my my my because I don't know how to speak. Magnifying glass. Magnifying glass. Magnifying glass. No, fuck you.

Magnifying glass. Magnifying glass. I had a line Saturday. I was in New York shooting and I couldn't get this line out. I had to say Wicked Witch of the Wild West Side. That's a tongue twister. Wicked Witch of the West Side is the thing. But I kept saying Wicked Witch of the Wild Wild.

Fuck. Right? I did it like for an hour. Let's do it again. Wicked Witch of the Wild. I can't do it. Magnifying. Magnifying glass. Magnifying Magnifying glass. No, you had it.

What's magla? It doesn't fly. Anyways, look at myself. Look at myself in the mirror. With the magnifying glass. Let's see if I can finish this. And look at your body. You went right to this.

I know. Look at your body. I look at every area. I always look at every area. Not my face, but what do you mean? With my chest? No, I'm just scratching. Why are you scratching? He has a lot of hair.

Tony Stark. I've never seen anyone scratch the center of their chest. He's got a lot of hair. He's got a lot of hair. Look at myself. Look at yourself. Just know that you

are one of the greats. Darrell, sit down. I love you, Darrell. I'll never forget that moment in my whole life. Darrell, you're amazing. I'm going to post this if you don't post it. Dude. He's going to definitely post that.

I'm pumped for him to post that. When Justin didn't come today, Darrell was like, Oh, yeah. We had mama babysit. Who said that? Justin. Stupid bitch. Speak on the mic.

Sorry. Megan was like, no, I don't want to ask for there to be guests there. That's fine, because it's the first podcast I ever wanted to come to with these guys. And so I got rejected, which is fine, because then the baby and I go for a walk. Justin asked, and she's like, of course, bro,

you can go. I'm so sad. And then today I'm trying to COVID test Justin, and he's like, no, I'm busy. I can't do anything. And so I was like, awesome. You already asked, can I go? And I'm here, and I'm gone. He was in the car.

He's in the car in the back seat. He's just holding on. Thanks for letting me tag along. Of course. And Daryl, you have great screen time, too. Yeah, he did. He dressed up for y'all. He started from scratch.

He was like, what do you think about this? Love this thermal? Socks are amazing. Shoes are amazing. Everything about you is amazing. Oh, also Rick Glassman. We're here because of Rick. Thank you so much, Rick Glassman.

You are the one I love, and thank you. How do you know Rick? Because when I was on his show, which I love his show too, take your shoes off. I know what it is. And I love my favorite episodes when you're on there, and I was like, I'll do anything if you help me get to Bobby Lee. And he did.

He went on your show, too, and was like, no, he's a mech and trainer. And I was like, I'm so close. Because when your name came up, I was like, there's no way. You're crazy? There's no way. Because people think that I'm into punk rock and stuff like that,

but I'm really curious about pop as well. That's what you listen to. At night, I listen to really cool pop songs and stuff. I really like it. As a kid, I was like, so anti-pop. I was so like, it's gotta be

like electric guitars. It's gotta be in a garage. And as I get older, I go, no. Pop is fun. It's hard as well. Because, as you know, I write music, not great. Actually, great.

Some of the music that we have on our podcast is my music. It's you. I understand how songs are made and chord progressions and chorus lines and all the whole thing. And because there's so much pop music out there to make it original, like anything else,

it's hard. I'm sure you write songs that you don't even air, right? Is that true or no? How many? How many songs are there? How many songs are there in some sort of fine? My mom has them all. They're called The Forgotten Ones.

And she constantly tries to get them sold. She's like, don't do Seawalk and sing this one. And I'm like... Really? Yeah, she's trying to get... Because she loves those songs so much. And I'm like, as I get older, I write better songs. And she's like, but they can't forget about them. There's hundreds of them.

Is there any way you could sell that later to another artist? I always do that. Someone's like, hey, I'm working on a project. And then I'll send them like, what about this? So let's say I was a new artist. And let's come up with a new name. I want to be known as

Bajlana Wan. Bajlana Wan. Yeah, sort of like an African. You could cut your vocals at my house in my studio and I can make you sound good. Yeah, she makes me sound like a singer. I also produce, so I can like edit the shit out of it.

Hang on, pull up the clip of Bobby and his band singing. Was that a band you called again? No, no, don't put that on there! It's called Lex... Lex and Superb. Here we go. Oh, let's go.

Oh, I forgot. For some reason the YouTube's not working. Oh, dang it. Good, good, good. For me, yeah, you were like, let me ask you this. No, I want to ask you this is so I write songs on my garage band. Yes. Okay. Is there any way, right,

and you could say no, it wouldn't hurt my feelings, that one day, just a day, I can come over and go, what's, you haven't even finished. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. But this, you think this, these two things can be in one song. How do we do this?

I wrote lyrics as well. Do you be able to do it? Don, and you know who's my producer? Also, who does most of my beats? Justin. Wow. Your favorite. No, no.

Absolutely, absolutely. I don't want his Weasley stink fingers on any of the bottles. He's so good, though. I'm sure he's great. But I would love to try that. Being real, though. I don't know who's song on his podcast.

So after this, is there any way I can get your assistant's number? It's my mom. My mom is my assistant. So I call your mom? You just call Megan. That's what I wanted you in the first... She said call my mom? I wanted you to say call me,

but then you call my mom. Wow, this is the text from my own app. Let me just call you directly afterwards. And I want to do that. That'd be great. And then we could do that idea that we had that Christmas album. Because I want to come up with a Christmas album.

I just did that last year when I was pregnant. You just put out the deluxe, right? I saw that on the iTunes. Yeah, Christmas is easy. He wrote all my Christmas songs with me. You wrote that? You write, too? Yeah, I forced him to. It's bullshit. He's a great writer.

Can you sing? You can get me to cut vocals. Yeah, a little auto tune. Pretty much just sing it. Let me sing a line. I want you to mimic it. Okay. You're the wing beneath my feet.

You're the wing beneath my feet. I'm warming up. That's our family name. Megan, I think you're the singer. If you do a line, I'll see if I can do a line. And see if little Rai Rai can do a line. Who's better? Okay.

But not a lot of lyrics because you can tell that I can't. I know. I'm like, what do I sing then? That well. Make up a song. Make up a line. Don't freestyle, ever. I feel like something like... Magnifying. Magnifying, magnifying.

Say that. I had to write it first. It's fine. I love the process. We're not cutting this out. I'm so hot and cold at this time. Just focus. She has headphones on.

Okay. Don't make me laugh. He'll make me laugh. Okay, hold on. Cut, cut. Hold and go. I can't without laughing. Oh my god.

I can't sing good when I'm laughing. Okay, go ahead. Are you serious? You got it, Megan. Good. I've never seen this in my life. I don't do this. Okay.

Do you need another line? No, that's the perfect line. You make me cry because you say magnify. That's what I couldn't get it out, dude. You make me cry because you say magnify. Ready? That's your key. You make me cry because you say magnify.

That was good. You actually just said the real word. What the fuck? I did? You said magnify. I'll give you a better key. You make me cry because you say magnify. You make me cry because you say magnify.

You make me cry because you say magnify. Yeah. You make me cry because you say magnify. God damn it. My better? I win that one. That was a long contest. That contest took fucking forever.

I've never seen it break down. Rick Glassman asked me to sing on his podcast. I was like, I can't do it, man. I'm going to freak the fuck out. It's so scared. What do you do when I go, I'm a comedian? Make a joke. But I could do it in front of 20,000 people.

But in a room like this? Let me ask you this. Do you get nervous? Yes, every day I'm sweating. You're nervous now? Why? I'm killing it. This is so fun.

I finally feel good. I was in full panic mode. But so were we. We were pacing around upstairs. I was upstairs pacing. He was listening to your song. God, at the pressure. It's a lot of pressure.

I don't wake up feeling. I don't wake up and go, I'm Bobby Lee. I hear the Meghan Trainor, I cringe. When I hear my name, I cringe. I hate it. I'm a big fan.

I think maybe it's because I think I'm getting better at it. But you get self-conscious. It's weird. It's something you're working on. We have a podcast called Working On It. It's something I'm working on too. All your friends, comedians, legends who come on here

tell you how amazing you are and you sit there and they're like, you're Meghan Trainor. What do you mean? No. It's a thing I have to work on. I assume when you even started,

when I started because I'm so sensitive and at the time low self-esteem, that I had to force myself to do it. I remember being at a comedy club going, you're doing it, I don't care.

There's no one in the audience that's going to hate you. I had to force myself to do it. You picked the scariest job. But I'm not saying that this is necessarily the healthiest job or someone like me. I wrote all about that bass because it was the opposite of what I felt.

I was like, I'm so insecure. Don't take pictures of me. I don't wear bathing suits and I'm from a beach town. And then I wrote all about that bass. I wish someone sang this on the radio and I was a songwriter at the time and no one could cut it. And then a label was like, well, who's singing it?

Just make her do it. So then I had to be a hypocrite and go out to the world and was like, I'm all about my curves. I'm terrified. But doing it so much, seeing the crowd, how they react, hearing stories of fans being like, I was suicidal. I did want to go to school until your song came out.

I was like, this is my purpose in life. And it almost flipped all my confidence around. Yeah. You kind of you buy into it almost and you go, you know what? I can do this. I'm going to buy into this.

But fundamentally I have to be myself and I think deep down inside I am a nice guy. So I don't want to lose that. Yeah, I think having my family live in my home is the only thing that keeps us wicked, humble.

Today we're pinching ourselves like this is better than the Grammys. We're like, what the fuck are we doing here? That's how him and I are. Anything we do, like fancy party that we get invited to. We're always feeling like the outside. How did we get here?

That's how we feel today. Did I tell you I met Adam Levine the other night? Can I tell you how I met him? Bro. It was the same night I met Channing on downtown. Which party was this? Channing Tatum, what's his name? It is.

But I went there not to meet Channing Tatum to find Adam. To find the man. He's a big fan of the voice. I just wanted to tell him lock eyes with him and go I just want to let you know

that you have real comedy chops. He does. That dude is funny in my opinion. And as a comic I watched the voice and his banters with Blake Shelton. It's so funny to me. I wanted to tell him that.

That's what I was going to open with. He didn't come out that way. I know that. My friend Gene goes, Gene and Adam are best friends. It's a club. It's smoky.

It's pink for some reason. There's pink lighting. Asian cherry blossom trees. Do you feel like home? I'm not Japanese baby. You are. 10%. A little home.

There was a group gathering around him. He's standing there. With a drink like this. There's a drink here. Do you know how they stick? What do you call it? The stand.

He's standing there like this. He's wearing a over cup. What do you call it? A trench coat. He has makeup on. He's standing there like this. Adam? He turns around

and I nearly I think I had a cum bubble. I cum bubbled it. A little cum came out and made him do a little bubble. What did you say? Funny. I wanted to say it like

in the voice you have real comedy chops you're funny. He's like thanks a lot man. But coming from you, that's everything. He doesn't know who I am. A lot of people don't.

Your friend Jean's friend he goes thanks. He's like I suck your dick. He has a very powerful presence. We saw him at Super Bowl weekend. I brought my boys. We went to his after party.

I do anything when they're like we'll let you come to the sport game. I'm like let's go. You went to Adam's after party? Or was it that? Some big place. I can't remember. This is when I drank heavily.

There's an aura. Everyone was surrounding him. That's the guy. It's a dick biting aura though. Big dick energy. Do you think he bites dick saw? He looks like a vampire. He's got a dick biting.

He's a super talented guy. It was nice to meet you. But you know what? I have a Meghan trainer at my house. I know who you are. True. Which makes it better. Which makes it fucking better.

When you're at those kind of shindigs you like me and you're like what the fuck am I doing here? Really? I run with a crew. My dad's there. He's like 75 drunk as fuck somewhere.

Talking to friends. I'm like dad. What an amazing family. My role with everybody. Experience you're going through. My honeymoon was my family moon. I brought everyone to Bora Bora. That's my dream.

I was there. Husband. Carol I know why you were there. They had a week to themselves and then we showed up a week later. But it was pretty funny because she was like thank god you're here. I was so bored.

Now what do we do? Exactly how I am. Anybody that I date they have to enter my family. Because I have a big close knit family. That's why I like... You couldn't live without my mom. Let's start with that.

This is going to say something about Daryl. You and I are survivors. He is. We have deep hearts. Right? And we can go into any social situation. And we're survivors. That's what I meant.

And I have to say about something about your family. I love them. As much as I love my own. That's sweet. I have an uncle who kills people. He's not done. I give you a compliment. I wanted to prove what you were saying to be true.

I understand that. At least feel what I'm saying. I feel it. That's nice. That's my uncle. I have an uncle in front of me. That's exactly what I felt. I took him to the Philippines with me.

And I have an uncle who is a murderer. He actually spent 20 years in the can. For slicing up my other... Another human being with a machete. He sliced up many people in his life. Is he over now though? Like Psychopath? Yeah, he's through that phase.

People change. Not too much remorse. I wouldn't say he's fully rehabilitated. I have to say the murderer was justified. Okay. I was like, was it? I don't know. On a Sunday?

We've talked about your uncle. We haven't really gotten into detail about what he did. Can we talk about that? Yeah, he sliced his brother's spinal cord. What's the reason? Oh, it was a money... A financial thing. No, I thought it was that your uncle...

Okay, so here. They live... If Philippines is a third world country, some of my family... They live in poverty. And my other uncle sold the house that he was living in with his five young children and left them out in the rain.

And sold it because he said I'm entitled to this home because it was our mother's home. And then now his whole family was left. They got drunk, got a machete and then sliced them up in broad daylight. Wow. But anyways, in regards to Bobby being a part of my family,

he comes... My uncle is waiting for us at the airport. Got out of prison a couple of years. Same guy. He got out and he picks us up from the airport and Bobby knows exactly who he is. He knows the whole history. I don't know what came over him

but as soon as he met him, he was like, oh, and just starts throwing money at him. Oh, no. Smart. I don't want to die. But I thought in that moment I was like, I love him. Good move.

If you dated a white dude from the Midwest and he met your uncle, he would like, nice to meet you, sir. And backed away. Not me. I danced with him. I hugged him. You know he won't kill you.

Whatever you need, bud. Because he has that gene. Right? You and I, Ry, think about it. Right? When somebody's about to snap, we know. And we know that

we wouldn't get killed by that person because we were nice to that person. That's what I did when I grew up in school. All the kids I would make fun of the one kid, he's my friend. He's a good winner, dude. You're nice to everybody. You're no longer a little Ry-Ry to me, bud.

You know what you are? Middle Ry-Ry. You're not top. But you're in the middle now. You're top dog. You're the president. I'm where I belong. If you had a girl

and her uncle killed somebody, what would you do? I would chat him up. Your nipples are hard. Are your nipples hard? That's a good callback. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy nipples.

I would just be friendly. What if he goes, hey, Ry. Middle Ry. Give me a massage. Would you massage him? I think I would have to. Exactly. Hey, man, massage.

Hey, massage this area right here. I can't. I'd be like, I'm so sorry. No, just sit right here on Indian style, right? Put your hands up and just massage right here, man. He almost got up for you. I know. But what you don't see right now, Ry, is I'm wearing a machete in my back.

Okay. So it's sticking out like this, right? And the sun is hitting the fucking blade and it's sparkling. Would you? Massage? I think you would. Yeah, I think you would.

Not the dick. Just the inner thigh. I would probably assume like, oh, the culture. This is cool. Is that bad? So you're saying that Koreans... Stop. Let's be clear.

Motherfucker. Motherfucker, you're saying Koreans specifically. Inner massages. Like inner massages. You made a fucking assumption. It's a correct assumption. You think you fly into Korea, right? And you land...

You know in Hawaii, they give you the fucking glaze? Instead, you just thread and they just massage. All right, Ry. I would play along. Did you guys hear about that when they're giving vaccines and blowjobs? Where is that? There we go.

Where is it at? Austria. Vienna, to be exact. It's a real thing. You get 30 minutes with a woman of your choice. Isn't that fucking crazy? It's an incentive. So it's four hours a day at this vaccine place.

Do they have it for men and women? I get a fifth and sixth boost. Yeah, I don't know. People are going to repeat and explode. That would get the J and J. I would just get the whole series. I don't get it. It's a real thing.

There's a video of it. I'm a male. I'm an anti-vaxxer. I'm reading the paper. Free blowjob. Do I have to wear a condom? I don't know the details. We're not in Austria.

I'm triple vaxx. I'm triple vaxx, too. What are you at, Moderna? He didn't cross vaxx. He went Pfizer, Pfizer, Pfizer. I went Moderna, Moderna, Moderna. Pfizer, Pfizer, Pfizer. Moderna, Moderna, Moderna.

Listen, it was one and done quick. It sounded fine, and then a week later, they're like, people are dying. That's sweet. That's what Ryan got. I was locked in, though. I still feel fine. I ran the marathon, you know? He did. You ran a marathon? New York City Marathon, yeah.

That was recently. It was the worst thing I've ever done. Did you train for it? Yeah, I did, but obviously not enough because my knees gave out. Halfway through, I was in a medical tent. I was like, I don't know if I'm going to finish it. I started walking. I called Megan. How much did you run and how much did you walk?

I ran the first half. The second half hobbled and jogged. Hobbled and jogged, finished in six hours. That's still a feat. Congratulations. Do you think you could do that? 27. I would do it. I told myself I'll never run again after that, but I would do it one more time for you

if you wanted to do it. I'll do a half marathon with you. I can't run. I can't run for shit, either. When do I have to do it? I mean, you could walk it. I think they probably cut people off around eight hours, maybe. Oh, it's a whole lot. What about half? It's like four hours?

Half was, I mean, if you kind of... You could walk four hours together. I'll walk four hours with you. I'd walk anywhere with you. But I'm telling you, we're not going to make it. We can walk all we want. We're going to die. I don't think I can make it.

How many miles is it? Well, the half is like 13 points. Fuck it. No way. I've never even done it with my car. I don't want anything. I don't think my car goes that far. That sounds crazy to me. The full was 26.

Actually, he raised money for charity, though. Yeah. Did you really? Yeah, so that was nice. Five grand for Boston Children's Hospital. It's good stuff. People donated. It was awesome. So, you guys live together? Yeah. So, you live upstairs? Well, now I'm in this bigger house.

That's what you moved out to. And now he's got his apartment over the gym. He and a guest house. But my young brother is right in the kitchen. He's right next door in the kitchen. The betrayer, Justin? Little bitch.

So, I want to say something to you guys. And this is meaningful. May I? We're waiting, yeah. This has been a pleasure. This has been ten times better than I ever thought it would be. I'd like to have you back.

Any time you want to promote anything. Please come back. I'll do whatever you want. Any of them, except for Justin. Please, I've been begging. I mean, I haven't. I watch it every day. I will die too.

You know our program. You know how we ended. The ghost has been up for a while. I wanted to go a little longer though. What is it? Let's promote their first. What's the podcast called? No, what is it?

Working on it. What's it called? Working on it. I'm working on accepting compliments. You know when someone gives you a compliment? I'm going to work on accepting that and loving it. We do a working on it pod.

Do you have guests? Yes. We have guests that are like a doctor. We have the girl who created Just Thrive Probiotics. I've been pooping. They don't want me to talk about pooping as much. But I poop nicely now.

You should take this pill. Take a step back. Can we talk about what the poo was before? I have poo problems. Every three days? That's another one. Is it wet poo?

I was eating right from my body. Now I got nutritionist. I figured out health. You're supposed to poop every day. I've been pooping twice a day. I lost all my baby weight and then extra 20 pounds. I'm looking tight. I've been figuring it out.

I know you've been trying to figure that out too. You can talk about it. What if you want to walk with someone? I'll walk with you. You know what? I'll walk with you. Where do you guys live? Okay, good.

So I can drive there. I have a gym. I have two treadmills. I honestly think this is going to happen. I think one day, this is what I want to do. I want to bring my music

and then I also want to work out as well. I'll record you if you do two miles with me on the treadmill before. There's two treadmills next to each other. That's your payment. Two miles? Easy. Because when I do Peloton and I'm done, it says I did eight miles.

No, it's different. There's no way you do eight miles. That's a half marathon. You have a treadmill. What's the difference between the Peloton we have now? That's a bike, babe. You can go a little farther in a bike.

But eight miles is very impressive. Still good. Still good. I don't need this from you right now. I don't need it. I'm just confused. I don't fucking need this from you. We don't have to have this kind of relationship. I just want everyone to live forever.

We're going to live forever. I need help. I need health problems. I have health problems. I think it's like you just got poop more. Do you poop a lot? Too much. Maybe it's probiotic will help fix that. No, mine's like a reverse of the day.

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. It's a reverse. I can fix that for you. Thank you. Anyway, go. Unhopeful vibes with Meghan Trinny and Little Rye Rye. Little Rye. This is a quick one.

Hey Tiger Belly, my name's Blank and I'm a huge fan of all things Tiger Belly and I've loved Bobby since I was a kid secretly turning it on Matt TV at a late hour. Anyways, this question is for Kalyla and anyone else in the room, but what kind of things do you look for on dating apps and how did Bobby win your heart?

I find it hard to stick out as a basic looking white dude. Any advice would be appreciated. I'll tell you what. He put up a picture of himself in a mid-riff with his belly sticking out and his arms up like this. And I was like, that man loves his body. And... I want to go back to when you guys

talked about her looking herself in the mirror and me looking at myself in the mirror, I always thought growing up that I was an ugly person and because what I saw was supposed to be sexy or whatever society's

view of sexiness was, I wasn't, but then once I started looking at myself in the mirror going you know what, dude, you're sexy too. And also... That elevated my game. Yeah, so on our first date even though I chose the coffee shop way further away

from my place because I was afraid he'd be... I was worried. If you were a creep then, you know, you didn't have to know around where I lived. But I've also been known or called I don't know if this is a PC thing to say, but I'm technically a chubby

chaser. I like... She likes a thick boy. She likes a juicy. I like a meaty boy. Not that meaty, anyway. But when I met him, he was just yeah, he had all the confidence in the world and it kind of like... But to stick out

in online dating is really, really hard. I have the perfect solution. What? So when I met you on Tinder, Eric Stonestreet asked me, should I get on Tinder? So I went over to his house and we built a profile for him.

Right? And I did it with a couple of people that were in the business. A team, right? So I think that the first photo should be this is going to sound so gross. You want to hear the grossest thing? I told Eric, well, he doesn't need it because he's an Emmy award-winning actor.

I've told people that aren't actors, go try to be in a photo with somebody that's cool. Let me finish. Just hear me out. So it's like if I was...

I was a busboy at... P.F. Chang's. Very authentic Chinese food. Can we know it? So good. It's like, where am I? In Hong Kong? Whenever I'm eating it.

It's delicious. It's terrible. It's fucking terrible. You die every time. But if I was a busboy there, and I wanted to do a Tinder, and Tom Hardy walked in, just to check it out, and quickly change into my street clothes. To hear me out.

Right? To come out and go, hey, I was working here. Anyway, I'm your busboy, but I'm a big fan, Tom. I love Venom. Anyway, can you take a photo? And I would take a photo with him, but the photo would be, not a fan photo, but a photo of like we were hanging out.

So instead of like, you know what I mean, sitting sad, we're at a bar and we're drinking and laughing. How would you orchestrate that with Tom Hardy? Yeah. I was like, good luck. He's in and out. Tom, I haven't been laid

in 20 years. Look at me. Look at me. He would look at me. Look at, I'm fat fuck. Right? I wobble when I walk. Right? I'm confused. 24-7. I don't know what's going on.

I need you to help me. By sitting down. Me and Tom, right? And he's laughing, right? A photo of us just hanging out as my profile picture. That's a great scheme. Because I set up my little brother, Justin,

his dating profile. I said, put me in there, but make me picture three. Very good. Very good. And what is the photo of you two? It's a family photo of our Christmas album promo. That's perfect. That's perfect.

Did you picture with this guy then? For his dating profile? Where does he live? You're both looking for love. I'm going to help him. This guy. I thought you meant this guy. He's engaged, right?

He seems unfuckable. That's what you're saying. He's unfuckable. You're looking for... You know, Hin has a little voice. You can do a little voice note now for him. What's hinge?

It's another one. Is that how you met your wife? That's how you met your wife? He did a voice note. Hey, I'm looking for a girl. What would your voice note say? You're not going to like my voice note. I don't think I should say it.

Say it. Honestly, when we first talked on the phone, I was like, God, his voice is really hot. That's really what it was. How long is it? 10 seconds? Yes, 10 seconds. It's a 10-second message? Please record your message.

I can't say it. What I would say is like... I'm not really 50. I'm not really 40, I'm 50. That makes it so hard. He did lie about his age on the phone. No, he didn't. I'll tell you why.

He put 37 instead of 40. Instead of 43. Why? Because if I put in... If I had a dating site and I put it on 50, right? It's like the only people that are picking me up are 40-year-olds.

I want a little bit more of an option. I'm almost 40. But you look 18. You would have missed out on me. Sad. Why? Because you were trying to... No, my chart thing would be 25

to 40. You would put that to 50, babe. Date someone your age for fuck's sakes. I thought... You'd miss out on Laura Dern. Jennifer Lopez. You think they're on...

They are. They're on there. They're not on there. They're on Raya. You'd be on Raya. What's Raya? I know what it is.

Anyway, that's what I'd do. If he lives in LA, I would take the photo. We'll do something where we're building a gazebo. Oh, nice. We'll get all the woods and the hammer. We're doing something together. Building something. I think that would help.

Bring in Santino, maybe bring in Annie. Let her with some other people in the photo. Very cool. Did you guys have anything? As a white dude, how do you stand out on a dating app? I don't do the dating apps. I was never...

When I first moved here, it didn't work out for me. For my little bro, who's an average white joe, he... He doesn't have social media either. He was taking terrible selfies. I was like, my guy, you look like a serial killer. Let me help you. Be at the studio producing

and don't look at me. I was setting up a full photo shoot. I was like, here, walk my dogs. That would help. Dogs is huge, too. I feel like that's pretty basic. Maybe cook something. Have like linguine

in one hand. That could be the voice note, too. I'm cooking linguine. Just be careful with that caption part where you can say fun stuff. Some people are trying to be funny and it comes off as... You're obnoxious. Yabba-dabba-doo!

Yabba-dabba-doo! That's good, that's good. Give me another line. Give me another line. Yabba-dabba-ding-dong! My God, he loves you. Copyright. Copyright. Anyway, so,

you guys, what a pleasure. How'd you feel about it? I feel so fucking good. We win. No, we win. We love you, man. Our birthday is five days apart and we celebrate our birthday

pretty much every year together. And this was it. That makes me feel so good. Thank you so much, guys. Give them a round of applause, guys. Amazing. And Dylan. Enjoy. Thank you so much, guys.