TigerBelly - Ep 333: Andrew Schulz, Save The Date!

Episode Date: February 2, 2022

Bobby gives Andrew the invite he wanted. Khalyla can't find the ring. Andrew rehabilitates his relationship with Bobby. We talk Filipino martial arts, TV show Cliff Notes, Tom Arnold as Spiderman, and acting with Eddie Murphy.Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus But I want to let you know because of the fact that I love you so much and I want you to know what's going on in my life That's all okay. Well, you know, you know what? Right before the podcast you're gonna tell me something I can't talk about the whole fucking podcast so difficult to talk to it's like When you came up here walked up the fucking driveway. I was like, yeah, there he is. I'm gonna be vulnerable Yeah, be vulnerable. I'm gonna be West Coast and then what'd you say? I'm gonna be West Coast and then what'd you say to me came up with your swagger and your fucking group bitch bitch bitch That's what you said to me. Yeah, there's no entourage. I brought nobody

Because I know that Uber guy dropped me off down the block. I have no clue where I am so Andrew and then check it out Oh, yeah, you don't say shit. Yeah, I sort of fucking God. I'm not gonna tell anybody You don't say shit until I say your name. It's a bro. Okay, actually No, this is gonna be fun. I want to see your name, right? But you let me I have a little thing planned. Okay, because I have things I have to say I'm something planned, too I think I have things to say. I think it's gonna be fun. But where's the sugarfish? It's coming in 30 minutes and when it gets here, we're gonna stop production. Okay, right?

We're gonna put nutrients in you. I feel I'm like shaking I'm so fucking hungry because I'm an idiot and I always do this every time you have something after this No, well, then we can we can take all the time in the world. You want a banana in the meantime? Thank you. Thank you so much. He had nothing after this. You could have gone Korean barbecue That's what I was getting. I was getting hyper glass. Yeah, bro. I Shave wait look at it I want to be the only guy that hasn't seen it Let's go let's go and I won't see it

What Great banana by the way, thank you. I choose the best banana. This was an absolutely great banana I know what you just said to me You said you choose the best bananas. I choose good fruit and if you were in this room 30 seconds ago People might disagree with you. Mm-hmm because he's a bad one. I I just wanted to interrupt him because he told me that I guess I I'm sucking Chappelle laces dick Anyway, um, welcome

Well, I love him. I love black people that love punk rock Oh, yeah, you do don't you love that when they were remote? I love it. So anyway, welcome to the program My name is you know, can I say something and and people listening in the sub king came to kingdom May I say something? I always thought that Tiger Belly was the kingdom Mmm, and I thought that you know and what I realized is that when you watch something like the Game of Thrones Right you have kingdoms So when a kingdom went when a king and a queen are getting married or Prince and Pratt, I don't know how it works Lannister Starks Lannister Stark, right? It's the fucking the elites that come out

Ain't no butcher gonna be there, bro Right, right. And so what I'm saying to you is the butcher is not invited. He has to be he's catering Yeah, he's in the back bro like with the Mexicans. He's there You know how many Mexicans were in the Game of Thrones? You just never saw them because they're butchering because they're fucking making the Roasties They're making the Roasties with the legs so what I'm saying though is that So I was mad at first when you know somebody that I thought was a friend You know I mean was gonna get married and our kingdom was not invited to it But you know what I realized that we're provincial people

Interesting we're peasants and but although we weren't invited to your wedding Andrew. Yeah, I did give you a gift Do you know why what is it? I'll tell you what it is. It's not a Rolex like your rich friends I was like you're multi-million dollar rich friends. It was it's not a Rolex, but you know, we do a great gift Not a Rolex Versace robes for you and your wife No, honestly dude, yeah Congratulations, dude. Thank you so much. Yeah, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart what I'm gonna tell you Okay before you do though because I didn't really say your name yet, so you don't talk. Okay, sorry

Yeah, I thought of something just real quick. Yeah, I know that you said oh But no one it hasn't been sent out yet. We haven't even announced that What's going on? Do you like the beef jerky? It's crispy. That's how it's supposed to be. Oh really? They're the new kind. They're like the the beef chips. Oh, yeah, where's that from Hawaii or not from George's and Hilo? I did um, this is a so we have to cut this out. No, don't cut it. I just keep it down. We'll set so dude um Andrew Andrew. Wow focus. I'm focused. This is November 5th. Yeah, I'll cut it out We're getting married I better be at that wedding. I Better be at that wedding. You're the first one invited

What the fuck? Why can't we be doing this now? We're supposed to mail it out too All right, all right, you could take out your dick now I'll look at it. I'll look at it. I'll look at it. Don't get too close, but I'll get a look at it He's never seen my dick and he wants to see it and I wasn't gonna see it I'm the only comic that hasn't seen a dick and I said I wouldn't do it. Can you harden it a bit? Don't touch me while it's out. Don't touch me while it's out. Just move back a little bit. There it is I'm gonna look at it. I'm gonna remove my foot and look at it I need good. Yeah. Yeah. Why are you in the power position?

Calm down. Okay. I am present Hold on I'm gonna remove my foot Okay Okay, yeah, my thigh is getting tired. Okay, go go go go okay. All right. There you go. Yeah, you go Dude, I think you got a little pussy under there I think underneath those balls, you might got a little pussy, too I think you got a little snack underneath them balls, bro

You know, do you know where my dick comes out of? My dick comes out of my pussy. Yeah, dude I have a pussy and it comes out. Stop like a clip. Anyway, dude. Stop it. They've learned it, right? When you come down Bobby's actually got a huge dick. That's the thing. This is the joke the whole time This is amazing guys. Okay, November 5th. Hold on. Yeah, hold on. Is this real? Yeah It's real one number set. Where's the ring? But um, it's upstairs. You want to get it? Yeah She hates it actually, you don't like it. No, I'm getting it resize. She's gonna be like the diamond made bigger It's just really loose on my finger Ask her fucking size. Ah, I took a ring that she already had I went there

Like you know me I'm dumb bro and you treat me like I'm dumb and I'm gonna say something right now Say it right now. Put the fucking invitation down. All right. This is beautiful. I want to see something right now, dude And it's beautiful Andrew. Wow. It hurt us Wow, it hurt us that you didn't bite us It hurt me specifically and I want you to apologize dude. I am sorry I gave him the homey test when he would he wouldn't he complained about not being invited. Mm-hmm It's like I act like such a baby. What's this Beyonce's name? That's it. What's his dog's name? That's it I was like, did you even know him? You didn't even know really Whitney knows? Yeah

Whitney knows Whitney and my wife are close. Yeah, Whitney knows. Yeah, Lex Freedman might not know that much That was surprising That's right. That's right. Lex was Whitney's guest. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, I shop, you know, yeah Yes, everything sounds good guys. What you're saying is that I don't know enough you listen. You haven't invested, bro It breaks my heart. It breaks my heart. It breaks my fucking heart. It breaks my fucking heart. I call you all the time I ask about you all the time, you know, I'll honestly, I'm gonna say something right now I'm agreeing to go to this wedding. Yeah, but you have to agree to something for me. Good You have to go to rehab

I will I will only go to your wedding if you decide to take your health and life seriously I need to make sure that your wife-to-be is gonna be in good shape and that means that you have to take care of yourself first You gave me this invitation. I'm gonna keep this invitation. All right. All right. All right So I will go to rehab. You have to go to rehab. Friday. It has to be Saturday. Saturday. I'll go Saturday. I'll let it be the Sabbath All right, you can go on the Sabbath. Okay. Good. So that's a deal. That's all right. That's a deal But I'll only go to rehab. Okay. If that's real What is this? The invitation. Is this not real?

Fuck you Yo, the Versace real though. The Versace is real. I looked at your dick, bro I know and you know it was weird looking at your dick is that it actually grew You were turned on by me looking at it. It's all power dude. I get off on power I know and could I say something you little bitch? Yeah Pull that fucking thing out again I want to say something right now, I wish I did something right I'm gonna be honest with you how I feel about you Bobby the way you feel about me

And I feel about you like a son. I feel about you when I first saw you finish, okay? Yes, when I first saw you at Montreal, I'm going here by the way Whether you guys are there or not I've confirmed Think that that was sort of a cheap save a day. I thought it was offset. What are you talking about? It's from I thought it was a staple same-day print But here's the thing like you didn't even have the ring on and I'm like, okay, he's cheap and that's also addicted to drugs This is actually pretty good if you're addicted to drugs and you're going through something It's a little to the left, but I'm like we gotta get his life back on track. Okay, so you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, so what what do I think the fucking what is it gonna be? All right, so I want to get through this let's get through it. Let's get through it So we don't have to talk about it anymore, right? Yeah, so What I've chalked it up as is that you have too many people coming. I'm with I'm wearing this on tour now Good, you have too many people coming you had just you we were on a list and you just went we just they just went We just got a cut and we were cut never on the list He's being honest Never on the list Kalilah was thank you

You know, it's exciting though to see you know, I've been what you know watch you on the socials Yeah, I've been watching you grow and watching what you're doing and I'm just like awesome. I'm literally you're welcome I'm mesmerized about But since I met you in Montreal back in the day, yeah How you've grown and what you are now and I want to say to you aside from the jokes and stuff bro Congratulations, you did what you said you were gonna do your ideas about what the business was how it changed You were right and I just want to say it's really good to see you little bud. Thank you so much

Yeah, and I appreciate your support You've always been fucking great to me and supportive and that success is is the large part due to you. Where is the invitation? You didn't take it back. No, I didn't take it back. He wants he's gonna try to post it online Dude, you can't post that online why not because if you post it online, oh, it'd be a little joke on you then You're gonna be forced to marry me. Oh, what's wrong with that? I'm just saying wait. Why aren't you guys married? We were gonna get married. Well, then we'll have 50 years old on my girlfriend my girlfriend, you know, I don't know my partner my partner. Yeah, yeah, man up, bro Right, man up. I don't base my decisions on Weasley, New Yorkers. What is Weasley? Is that a perry potter?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but what is a Weasley like we know now? You're not like don't do that. Don't do that, bro. Don't don't do that. I'm gonna say something Fucking fucking do that. Let me say something. Okay, go back in the day. Yeah, honey. Island. Yeah, what are you? What am I there? You're the car and you're the hot dog. You're the hot dog ticket guide. Uh-huh. That's your vibe Yeah, now the internet. Yeah, I get to expose my fuck. Yeah, man. Yeah, one of you and my talents, right? Yeah And now I'm a millionaire. Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah November 5th

Malibu Rocky Oaks Estate 340 Cannon Road, Los Angeles, California. Where is that Gilbert? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no You guys are getting married You don't know how serious I am about this right now. November 5th. Is that even a Saturday? Can you look at it? I checked all this. No smart. I made that. Yeah, November 5th. You guys are getting married. Okay, when do you get out of rehab? Okay stop for a second Andrew. Yeah, how long we're doing this rehab thing now I guess this is the episode. Yeah where we have to come clean No, no, yeah, I think we should come clean there because he won't let it go and we can't edit all that out

Right, so don't take this away from me. Don't act like I didn't inspire you going to rehab Don't act like this wasn't my fucking idea Don't act like I didn't change your life for the better and make sure that you could marry your wife on November 5th That's a 340 cannon boulevard. That is look at that estate. Yeah, it's beautiful. So yeah, okay You did not get me sober. I did you kind of did By saying it has anybody else season before that. No, but no You're just gonna randomly make a decision. No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't bullshit me You're just gonna randomly make it. Yeah, let's get real. All right

You're gonna randomly make a decision to get sober Okay, can I just say something to you? Who does that? Who does it? Who does it after a fucking win? Oh, you're on drugs now. Do you know how you're on drugs now? You know, do you know don't become Asian and have Italian hands? But a big do you know Andrew rice clay You know, she'll blow me an earlier. I don't give a fuck. You know, anyway, that's um, I'll be dice Okay, let's backtrack. Okay. Go. Can you go back? Go. So I'm going to a place Saturday, right?

It's not it's not like a fucking Trader Joe's or a fucking McDonald's where yeah, you just walk in and go I'm here. You have to pay. Yeah, you have to fill out paperwork Yeah, there's money, right? And it's already locked into play before you even came here. So how the fuck are you the one dude? Whatever you want to say, okay, whatever you want to say That's so the truth is and the for the left for two months ago. I guess we talk about more than two months When I'd say like four now. I God, it's so fucking hard to talk about man Is it it is

Because I had 30, you know, you know Oh, take a break. No, no, this is good. This is good. We're on it. We're on it. We're on it I'm sweating. I just got my sugar fish thing. This is good. This is good. This is awesome. Thank you so much This is great. This is great. Should I get into my robe and then we do it? Should we both get into the ropes? Yes, I do you want to both? Yes The Versace Robes gonna wear his wallet. Do you want to wear my wife's rope? Oh poor Emma's what Emma's robe We're Andrea to watch that Yeah, but listen, I want it. Let's talk about your this this rehab. Come on. Let's go because I want to take it

Seriously, do you really I do get in the robes first. You want to do rose first? Yes, we'll take five get in the robes And we'll talk. Yeah, let's take five. Why don't you eat a box? No, get your robes I think it's better if I eat while you tell me about your life falling apart. Okay. Here we go. Yeah Okay, so You're going to rehab three months ago. Um, I started smoking weed again. Mm-hmm, and then I started drinking again Mm-hmm, and then it became a daily thing and I started taking like Got to the point where I second two thousand three thousand milligrams of edibles a day drinking at night

vomiting on the freeway Waking up to your own why we get up to my own volume lights getting like a hotel banned from hotels for life I Could see I can feel already my life falling apart just because we're talking about something serious, right? Yeah Should you have been at my wedding? Should you have been at my wedding? Stop for a second or was it the right thing to happen? The right thing did I do the right thing manipulative? Yes, it is of you Of you

Why couldn't I come ruin your wedding? That's what you're asking. Oh, it's so why wasn't I invited to come ruin your wedding? My wife's day Okay, this is her special. Can you this is her Netflix? 40 seconds, can you give me 40 seconds? Yes to respond with you not least I don't like so you just So what you just did it was you just called me Pat Marita I would never do that. I'm a fallen down. I would never but he was an alcoholic You think that I was gonna come to your wedding and fuck shit up. No, dude. Can I say I'm one of those quiet alcoholics? Yes, right? Yeah, and I say

Positivities I would I would have walked by your wife and went you seem beautiful tight tonight. Yeah, that's good, right? And yeah, thank you. Thank you so much, right and I would go to the ladies and go when it's Diaz No, I'm senior. I eat this. Mm-hmm, right beautiful. Yeah, that's what I would do, right? You would this out dude. Yeah, when they throw the rice I cook it And that's not gonna give it to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not gonna laugh. I'm not gonna laugh. It was funny What I do I scooped up Behind the church, right? There's a fucking thing you're gonna treat me like every other white guy, huh? With that fucking joke, you're gonna treat me like every other white guy. Oh, this is cook rice. Oh, that's crazy, bro

All right, bro. So I want to say though. So I You apologize. I apologize for what for what you did to me Made me feel guilty on my wedding day Bro, bro, bro You are a really how good it you are one unbelievable the best day of my life You're a twisted fuck me and my wife. I go on Twitter to see all the people go. Oh, congratulations. What a great day Yeah, there's one tweet One tweet. Oh, it looks like somebody had a wedding

And I wasn't invited Yeah, everybody everybody in your kingdom to we all how come you didn't invite Bobby to your wedding Yeah, and then listing all the people. They shouldn't have been there. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, it was a fucked up. It was really fucked up to Brendan cuz everybody I know and that's my boy. I fucking love but everybody's like, how's Brendan gonna be enough Bobby exactly a love Brendan But fuck it Brendan. Okay, and I'm gonna say this right you you fuck that thick-headed. All right fucked hard I'm gonna call Brendan's job a thick-headed fucked hard. Okay, you invite that. Oh But that's my guy, bro. I know but bro. I'm your guy, too. You are my guy

I'm your little Asian guy. You are my guy. Am I your little Asian guy? Nope. You have an Asian guy He's got a couple man. Wait, wait I beg of you Schultz Schultz. I do your Asian guy. I bet you money. Look at me, dude Don't touch me. How comedy-wise Which women whatever Asian guy you have in your arsenal guys. Yeah, don't touch me Are we talking Asian in terms of geography or like South Asian cuz yeah, Akash is and he's also boys at Ronnie So is in Oh Ronnie Ronnie Chang

He wasn't invited to oh He liked my fucking yes Any Asians at your way, I even had the white people make the sushi There were no Asians at this plantation party No Asians for there. No, I had Asians. I had Asians Ben Ueda, he's made up a manual Ueda And well Ueda came oh that's not you wait, don't you have a guy from your high school? You know got a mat Ueda What's his name?

Japanese. Yeah oppressors. Yeah. Yeah They're the oppressors Imperialism compared to whom the Chinese. Oh Japanese way worse Depends. It depends. Yeah, it depends. What era depends on era one rape in the engine. Yeah Also gang is gang is that was my goal. Yeah, but he killed it for a lot. I mean he yeah when it comes to pillaging In terms of personal graduate Korean and Filipinos, we don't like the Japanese. We don't like them No, no one likes the Japanese and no one likes China now. Yeah, you guys are shifting your hate. Yeah, I felt it Yeah, I felt a big time

But China you don't like China. Well, especially Philippines are creeping into our outer island I don't like Philippines like identifying as Asian. That's got to stop Mexican, right? What do you? Mexican more Mexican, right? Yeah, you don't even have a martial art Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Boxing boxing your martial art Never heard of a screamer Kali Arnes all weapons martial arts Hey, that guy just pushed you have you never heard of use your excreta. I will be so defensive

Have you heard of a movie called game of death or Bruce Lee featured? You know what's heard of Ernie Reyes? I'm gonna be honest with you. What were the three names of the Armenian girls that you just Kali a screamer and Arnes Arnes Kelly and a screamer. I do not know them But I do know that Filipinos are badass boxers But because I can because of one guy. Oh, no need to don't air. Oh Thank you. I'm a boxing fan. I know about my Filipinos. So I'm saying is culturally Mm-hmm. There's clearly a Spanish imprint right there

nice when it comes to boxing not Martial arts nobody's going. Oh my god martial arts like if you bump into Filipino, dude There's no maybe hand-to-hand combat maybe but in terms of weapons fighting we have such a rich history of it Okay, in fact all of the weapons fighting like Choreographers that you see in Hollywood are mostly have a background in a screamer and Kelly really yeah, okay You guys seem as nimble outside you. He's honestly talking about nimble. You can't broke nimble Have you ever seen who the Philippines when they won the gold medal? How do they win? What do they win? This is what they want

Weightlifting and it was a woman. Uh-huh. That's legit though Shouldn't even have a gym to train at yeah, yeah Yes Yeah, that's the only one they got you guys aren't good at finesse like gymnastics. Have you ever see you guys can roll? You know why yeah flip. They're not it. You got you're not flippers. Yeah You're not flippers. I've never seen a we're supposed to bond over the fact that we both got got by the Japanese Everybody got got by someone Yeah, what are you doing now like it's the

You're right. You're right. Jump in this Gilbert. I'm trying to find a real good one. I can't be the only one that's sending my country. I'm trying to find a scream but it's all white guys dying. This is all white guys doing a screamer. Yeah, of course. We love shit that's no longer existing Like oh a martial art. I get to be better than nobody because nobody does it. Yeah, Filipinos are boxing now Be honest no Filipino kid is going to practice a scream on a Saturday And I also do bro. They have they have the best male singer of all time Mauricio no numbers pump boy. What's it boy boy? He's only talking about the guys from like America's Got Talent only Filipino He knows Marcellita bro. Check it out Google. Yeah, Marcellita pomoe. He's great the most talented Listen, I like this because we're talking about current shit. Okay, but are you going like Filipinos currently are killing it because right now Korea is having the moment

We'll never compete with the Koreans like we're just too poor of a nation to ever breed that much talent You know who doesn't have them in townie us the Koreans the Koreans are not are not the fetus like this I'm gonna stab you in your sleep. All right. All right. Would that be a screamer? Okay? Yeah, I know my thing Have you ever heard of the butterfly night? Yes, that's Filipino White people have caused People have caused so much atrocities and harm in the world and now You guys are like, oh, let's not talk about the past Listen, we love the talk about the past. The past is only good for us. It sucks for you guys

We love talking about the past. It's awesome. Oh, how you ruled it. Yeah, the past is awesome for us History is our favorite subject. Why do you think we still teach it? It's amazing success success success success Yeah, the crazy shit why you need to talk about now is Like I this what I actually wonder I don't know if you get taught that your country is no longer doing shit like Do they Like I mean necessarily like like I'm curious if in school they let the people of England know yo We were killing it and now it's not like that no more and

Right and then I started go like wait a minute. Are we no longer in charge, but we just haven't been told I think you're right. Yeah, what white people have been told that they're no longer in charge I think that's it. Yeah, and we're bickering over NFTs and I may I be the first to tell you yeah You are no longer in fucking charge Are you? No, you could fit in more but the reality is China is just gonna absorb your ass. That's what's gonna happen You're getting absorbed. You're getting absorbed. You're fucking absorbed as an appendage. That's it

They're just snatching it if I'm gonna be observed you're being observed. No, we're not dude How am I being absorbed? You're not being absorbed because you look at them. Oh I see I'm being serious. Oh, so you're saying Taiwan Hong Kong Korea is gonna come up. It's all gonna be China, bro It is what it is. Okay, it's gonna happen So if which is actually kind of fun if if England right was going through what China was going through then You think that they would absorb you then I think There's last I don't know. Uh-huh. What was the last time who's in charge of Korea always Koreans? What do you mean like I don't know was there ever a time like when they colonized yeah, we're like

What is your letters and shit? There's Korea is two things. Yeah. There's no other side. You're welcome What do you mean? We do that. You're welcome. Didn't we make sure it could be two? Yeah, hey 5050 effort, what do you mean 5050 effort because what you guys came down you go? Hey, we'll help you Yeah, and we helped and then you know this is important because nobody wants to talk about this right white savior Is why are you somatic right now? No because of your energy. We both need to go to rehab No, but this is some crazy shit like you know about it like like American intervention in like Vietnam and also Korea That shit was low-key

Noble yeah, like there was no oil we could get there was no resources we could get it was literally We're gonna die so you guys don't get communism. That's not you die real dude. That's guys. We're heroes No, you guys were heroes. We stopped coming. I said fucked up. We didn't know you guys The same thing how we fuck up Vietnam you guys were maybe that we did that one, but you guys are doing great All right, I'm gonna say this okay. Yeah, we go. Can you help? But it has nothing to do with us you guys were going we're gonna help the little yellow guys that look like minions Right you guys didn't go. We're gonna help the minions you go. No Communism is gonna spread Koreans always you have to fuck Koreans always you always claim yellow. You're not yellow. Oh

What the what am I white? You're the whitest. You're the whitest You're the fucking white guys did like that's why we love squid game. We're like, oh look a bunch of gambling degenerates white guys Here's Boston dude soul is Boston. That's what it is hot take That's why we love the crit the BTS. We love all the it's just white guys and it's the new form of white people Oh my god, what color is that? Yeah? Yeah, dude, you got a dark dick You got a dog. He's not whining more. Oh, that's in my white now fucker. You're Filipino. Thank you I think he's Dude, you got a dark dick. Thank you. You're welcome. I am I yeah. Yeah, is your wife bro?

No, you have a dark dick. Are you feeling better about your food? It's like sea bream. All right Well, you know what guy? Um, yeah, well, I was wild. No, but I still believe that I'm your number one Asian guy. I think you know that I think you know that you are The most fun guy The most what so what you're saying to you or and I've said this before and I say this often, but you are And I don't want to compliment you too early because we'll probably throw off the fun that we're having but Negativity like most comics like the last thing you do in a comic comes on your podcast Oh, you're so funny. You're so great. And then they just like sit there like melted

Unbelievable yeah, but um, but yeah, you're you're just raw fun, dude. It is rare You're rare, dude. I mean that raw Silly fun and that's why this thing is magical. And obviously you have a team that comes together. I can act, too Honestly to acting What's the review I I know like I saw you hanging out that tranny and the new Sex the city thing and it's just like what's going on with that, right? Like what what is what is up with that? Like what do you ever do you guys ever talk amongst yourselves and be like, oh, this is really forced diversity like No radio station would ever look like this ever like look at the people you hire. It's just fucking white guys, right?

What do you do? Defend your work defend your work. Yeah defend your friend my girl watches that show all the time Yeah, and it's it's honestly. It's crushing numbers though. It's they did the exact fucking right thing They sacrifice whatever is named big and that they knew that that motherfucker was out here, right? You think that's what they did of course you don't kill off the love interest. That's right course They knew it okay, and the second that episode came out and everybody's watching They're like leak the stories leak the stories Nobody's better at age than HBO and I mean this sincerely at marketing nobody the king of the mayor of east town

Remember that fucking show time out. Oh, yeah, this the remember the season finale all the sudden the streaming app shut down Midway through it shut down and if the whole internet was going what's gonna happen Twitter? I mean Twitter went right and then I'm on Twitter like Marcus. I gotta watch this show everybody's talking about show blows up again After they are geniuses with marketing love. That was a good show though. Shout out. So see our girl was on there Who's that? Who's your girl? So see bacon? She paid she played the drug addict mother Kevin Bacon's daughter She was the mother of the little girl that who was in the in and out of drugs. Ah, yeah Anyway, that shit was fire. Yeah, anyway, you're fucking great Bobby. I love you No, that's not what I want and that's not what I live on. I know but you know, I like telling people that because

You're for a long time Bob. I want to say something. We're not here for a long time So fucked hard. Okay, especially if we do when you get a call This is why when you get a call when you're gonna call and when you fix our drug addiction When you get a call from yeah from a show, right? They go, hey, are you interested then you go? I am you show up fucker. All right, you know what I do No, I don't care what you do. I'm gonna tell you what all the most people do. Yeah, what you're supposed to do What are you supposed to do you show up? Yeah, you look at the lines you half of it you go I don't understand. I don't know how to work it. How do I say this?

But no point. Do you go? Excuse me? I'm not saying this Although I didn't have a problem with anything Whatever what I'm saying, but I get you do feel a little because you're there with a Mexican girl I'm a Korean guy, and we're Sarah Jessica Parker, and you know what the show is And that's never and it's like it feels like I'm not supposed to be there It really does feel like that it feels like oh, they're I don't belong here. You know, it's the shame What it's like I'm doing the best I can and I love be doing it by just you know if people actually like I Don't know people actually took a second to like appreciate

People's cultures right not even like a hacky sense But like I genuinely mean like like you see something like Squid Game come out and it's actually really like exciting because you get to Be a voyeur in this culture I think that happened with a bunch of different stuff like even fucking Jersey Shore I think a lot of people they weren't in New York They're like wait there are people like this that exist and it's fun amazing awesome great Tiger King same thing like you go Tiger King people live like this amazing. Absolutely. It's a cultural culture Yellowstone is popular and that happened with the all these shows happens and we get so

We get so caught up in like trying to genuinely do the right thing like I think it's a lot of white people just don't have any Non-white friends. They're just like we have to push diversity what they're missing is diversity of culture and I think that's what we're most interested in It's like I want to see Unique when I travel I want to go to a unique culture. I went to fucking Paris. It was no different in Soho, New York I was so let let down. I was so let down. I was so let down, right? And it's like can I say something I want to say something this guy He goes to Japan yeah

He goes to culture hero dreams of sushi Subway a restaurant better. This is better. Okay A restaurant night would like you know mean dive probably you know, you know He's got a point because I sent you to I sent him to the most the three-star mission in place Mm-hmm, and he hated it. What kind of food it was Japanese over sushi. Oh my god. What's it called? You know what it what you know what it was? It's not the flavors. It's Excuse me, and you go. Yes, and they give you an iPad And you go, what's the iPad and they go the fish you're eating right now Only two

Unplanned look we found this one on the rock off of this coast in Japan Mm-hmm, and it's like this purple thing with one eye. Yeah, something that you're not a lot supposed to eat That's what it is rare shit super rare. Yeah, and I didn't like it Yeah, you mean you chew on it juice squirts in your mouth and it tastes like fucking you know olive oil and like shit Yeah, yeah, dip it limp it limp it. Yeah, you liked it. Did you like it? I sent him and his brother there for his birthday And two people a grand Yeah, no grand each a grand each. Yeah, how many courses?

18 like 18 is okay. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane, but look here's the thing I don't know if we've spoken about this, but like but I'm just saying you go to different countries I've never seen you go to a country and go. Oh, it's amazing culture and yeah, beautiful landscapes in Japan amazing culture I would never live there, but absolutely fascinating like there was a lot of things I did not like about it, but you cannot deny the fact that like these people All they know how to do is perfect. Yeah, I had the best steak I've ever had in my life I had the best sushi obviously I had the best pizza I ever had in my life and it's like this one drive to perfect and

Somebody said this to me was like the reason why is because there's not like one God There's a God of everything. So it's like you better treat that thing Like God if you're making rice a gotta be godly Yeah, right like and I don't know if that's true or whatever But it sounded romantic enough where I believed it and I was like, okay, they're just perfect and perfect And this is why they kill themselves is because if you don't perfect you're a failure. Yeah, right? Like if we just have to live up to TGI Fridays You're a great cook. You know one thing they didn't perfect. You know what they didn't perfect. They're fucking porn

It's perfected porn. No, they haven't it's the same. I it's always violent. Are you kidding me? It's always fine. There's octopi. Oh But yeah, but that octopuses Like animated porn they don't stop also Here's what I'll say about Japanese porn from the perspective of a woman is that I really do appreciate when the men they'll take out Like a whole bag of different gadgets to try on a woman solely to pleasure her that really gets me off the only thing is I'm not a fan of when she looks just completely just Like she hates the whole experience like there's no pleasure. She's always like she's always like she's on the verge of death Have you talked to Japanese women? Yeah, that's the part where I'm like, okay. Have you talked to that like

I'm gonna give you we're not gonna have Japanese people. I'm gonna give you what every Japanese porn is like. Just go for it Just audio wise. Okay Right so childish to the baby thing like the cute, right? Right she's bends over right? Yeah, right crying right then they do a then they do an insert shot of her vagina. There's a little blood for some reason It's not changed Interest hasn't evolved it hasn't evolved every Japanese porn is like that go to pornhub. Look it up Go to pornhub. But do you watch hensai?

Okay, I do okay, I love when The octopuses fuck like eight different women at the same time. Yeah, but what's that cuz you can't show dicks anymore like What do you mean? I don't think you can show penises entering vaginas in there. Are you doing a small Japanese dick joke? No, I'm literally serious. There's a rule There's a rule and I think that's why they start using the octopuses. They made a rule. Oh, really? Yeah against showing I would look it up, but like against showing it important So they had to evolve it to stick other things in you still watch it. No, I don't really watch porn to be honest You don't know

Wow, I don't really jerk off. You don't know ever Like so rarely dude, but when you let this is interesting thing I want to know what the special occasion is I have nothing against it The special occasion is I'm on a road for I'm on the road for like a week or out doing something or shooting something And then like the week before that my girl is on her period and then it's like two weeks of nothing I'll just unload the chamber You gotta load. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be the only a lot come out or hmm Will a lot come out more comes out. Yeah a lot if I a lot like what is a lot to you?

89 miles per hour. Is that how fast it goes? I think so Oh, mine doesn't go. Yeah, can you can you mind? Can you put in your hands like a porridge? Yeah? I could probably do that. Yeah, like a porridge. Yeah, Oliver twist. Yeah Does it fall from skies That's my fucking version of that fucking twisted fucking old story eater. Yeah Or fan fucking English kids man. He can come Yeah, they made a black Annie, we're gonna make a new Oliver twist my friend He's fucking yeah, it can't get enough, right?

You want to play him? Eat another box Only half the box Really? So far so when you Andrew when you come out here to what you go. Oh, well, I'm a big New York podcast I'm gonna go to the West Coast and just you know show show show my face. Is that what this week? This week is about now. What is it? I? Got a right new jokes

So I booked those shows that uh Oxnard Comic club. Oh my you're playing oxner this weekend Well, just Friday, and then I'm going to the UFC fight Saturday. So I kind of got a like and ghanu. Yeah Card. Oh my baby. How can we don't go to those things? Well, cuz you're gonna rehab that's Cuz you're gonna be busy at rehab, that's why but if I wasn't going where they're not showing the fight Yeah, but yeah, no, I'll give you the play-by-play, but you're gonna love oxnard, dude. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good club Really? Yeah, it's gonna sell it out. Yeah. Yeah, it was in there, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's fun

I like getting back into the clubs to work out. Yeah, because I've been watching you like online It's like you're doing theaters, and it's pretty crazy man. Yeah tour buses and no bus Yeah, I mean and just on truck and just seems like a big party that One day I would love to be a part of it Do you I'm gonna ask you as an older guy? Yeah, and as a mentor of yours Yeah, I mean if you did a West Coast thing, yeah, right? Maybe I could do a leg of the tour Yes, that would be an honor. That'd be an honor. You don't have to pay me much, you know I got money honor. You mean just to show my face and then maybe when you get divorced and get remarried

I can get And that's what's gonna happen. How about this? You know that's gonna happen, right? How about this? We have to now make an effort. Yeah Yeah, what I mean, how come when I'm he says the most fucked up thing I go He's gonna get divorced with his wife and everyone shakes their heads like I'm the fucking bad guy That he says man who would say that what then I'm gonna get divorced for my wife I just said it. What a real fucking piece of shit The reason why I said that you piece of shit. Yeah, I would love to come to your wedding

So get divorced so you can go to a wedding. You're you're fucking ready to say that like you made it, okay? It made it, okay It was it was and you know what you're gonna do you're gonna turn your life around You're gonna turn your life around because of it. Maybe I did it for you Maybe you realize you had a problem when you when you were looking in your fucking mailbox for a month and there was no invitation I you know what it is, babe. What is it? I'm gonna talk about you. What is it, babe? I want to talk to you Yeah, what is it? He was born with this extra thing in his head, right an extra like, you know, I mean edge I don't like it

You know, I mean, it's just it takes to the next level. I start sweating right because I got a win We were you withdrawing really? Oh, you were you withdrawing it do I look like I'm withdrawing. You're really wet. You're very wet Are you withdrawing dude? What drug are you withdrawing from? Probably alcohol. I did not this big this podcast No, no, no, no, no, no Oh, I like this one. No bullshit. Did you lose weight? Yeah, 15 pounds in two weeks. I was actually joking

A part of whenever I relapse right yeah, yeah for summers I get into this mania and I can't sleep or eat So I the last what is that three weeks? I don't know what it is It's like a traumatic only there was a child like ten times a night like watch this Julia Childs documentary with me Yeah, what do you do through all this? Is anybody asking about that? How are you? She's dying. No one's terrible. She needs time. I'm dying. I but I'm a codependent person I'm somebody who always likes to put fires out be the caretaker. So it's like I have no boundaries when it comes to him I'm just a sick. I made a mistake. You like the fact that he has no, no, no I don't it's just that I have a problem with when he's relapsed instead of saying, you know what I'm done

I'm gonna walk away until you get clean. I don't have that chip in me. I'm gonna be like, oh god No, I'll hold your hand to rehab, which is why which is not wrong Which is why you guys brought me here today and you guys said to bribe me with coats So that I would change your life This has nothing to do with my way. It's exactly what it is. You know, this is I'm so glad You I'm glad you're saying this because it's all about you, Bobby Lee. Yeah Let's be real then. Yeah, I had nothing. I had nothing before Montreal My life was a nothing burger. It was like that's not just let me finish what I have to say, right?

But I will let you and then one day I get a call from Howie Mandel The great howie Mandel the great hundred and he goes do Montreal this year host and I go, but howie I don't have a life I haven't met The my mentor I haven't met my messiah. I haven't met the guy that's gonna spark my life How he goes I got the guy I show up to Montreal. I meet him. It was an internal change When I saw him it was like, oh god, he's got sort of like a jeezus II kind of like a Schindler a Schindler Jesus a Schindler Jesus II kind of like also like a Jordy LeFord's like I'm an engineer as well You're I mean, so that's where it started right there, right? And when I met you, dude

You changed my life and did you notice ever since I did that show? My career has gone to a different trajectory. No, I think that that's coincidence. I don't think it's I think it's you Andrew and I think that thank you so much for You're welcome. Yeah, and thank you so much for being here No, no, I'm not gonna let you okay, but I am very happy for all the things you're doing Okay, good. So are you happy? Are you happy them going though? You're gonna rehab. Yeah, are you agreeing to it? Yeah, okay? I wanted to go and stop it. Don't do that We're not gonna do this thing where it's always your idea like

He's not gonna let go are we really gonna pretend right here. I looked at you Both you're both teaming up here. I Sat down here. I said, where's the sugar fish? Yeah You said that you had gifts for me Which was gonna make it even more difficult to let you know that I want you to go to rehab Even though you gave me these gifts. I still bring up that I want you to get your life together. Okay, that's so good. Maybe We had conversations on the side about how you could help yourself And maybe I brought it up today because I understand her co-dependency issues, but you have to go

I'm not I'm not taking it anymore. You know what? I'm not going through it My mom called me yesterday, right? I told her. I know and she goes I told your mom But be and and I said and the layup the accent but be you know, you know, the number one Comedian, you know, I'm not the planet. Oh, I go. Oh, you Andrew shows He called me right right he goes. I so care about you I go fuck you bitch You didn't say that you came in today. You asked me one time. I got on my knees I started shaking I go I'll go because you know man

You know that I come into your life in times where you're about to make major changes and have a lot of success Is that true or is that not true? Dude the first time I came here. You were in that room now look at you Yeah, that's true. Look at how much closer you move to LA. Did he ever go to the other one? It was there? Yeah, no, no, you never went to the apartment. Yeah, if you went to the apartment, you would know But my point is is that you're right. So thank you so much for being in our lives. Would you like some more food sir? No Maybe I'll pick it. Okay, but I just want to make sure you're okay. Yeah I'm just checking in with you and are you a kind of guy. I don't I don't see you a guy that goes

To your wife and goes, let's watch a new show literally No, never. No, I do love watching shows with her, but I don't like the pace in which she watches the show What's the pace slow? You want to burn through it? I know yeah, like it's just like there. There's it. I don't know I actually think it's like women talk a lot about how they're great at like multitasking and shit And but I think single tasking is very difficult for you I think that's true. I mean that like yeah, like she watches TV during the day for hours while she's like doing other things

Should we do schoolwork and all this other shit? And then the second we watch at night. She'll just fall asleep with them Oh, that's exactly her because you can't single task opening credits. I'm out. Mm-hmm Yeah, if I have one thing to focus on that means it's rest time. It's rest time and your brain just kind of falls apart Maybe there's something like biological about that. That's absolutely when you and I watch a show Day three in it's done. Hey, I don't have responsibilities. No. Yeah. Yeah We do we saw three fucking seasons in three days, bro, and then they gonna wake up in the morning and say how many episodes did you watch? Yeah, I know and yeah, and you know what I have to do So I sometimes I have to know if I like you like three watch the episode like you don't know it's about to happen

All right. Oh my god. Are they gonna lose the ranch right or what? You know what I've done, too You know what I've also done, too. She wants she was begging me to watch a movie. Which one? I'm always better. Oh, so what I did was I went online. Is that up? Is that an Asian movie? No, it's Mexican and I read Fuck you, and I read that was a great joke. So I read I love dog That's so So well that the dog is he is the prevalent thing in it Dog lovers, but so anyway For a year she asked me to watch this fucking movie right for a year and so I finally just read the synopsis

Yeah, I saw it. It's about this right I wikipedia and he and I was like he's like I've seen it already my boy mark has never seen a real movie He only wikipedia is all the important This piece of shit. He's on a podcast with this He opens for in his piece of shit will use lines from the movies like in like in like speech Oh, no, like what like it'll just be awesome and something from the office I'm like motherfucker. I know you ain't ever seen an office. Let's stop using that line level poser, but also genius genius It's optimization. Yeah downloading all the information you possibly can us dumbasses are spending hours watching fucking Game of Thrones all this other stuff

It's what we did in college with cliff notes. It's what we should be doing with movies I have a friend named Ray who only does Joker lines from fucking the Dark Knight Really, yeah, he'll just walk up to go Yeah, like when you went when Batman was going down the thing and the Joker was walking down with his gun Right, he'll do that. Why so serious? It'll whisper in my ear and after a while on you know, we're no longer friends, dude Yeah, that movie sucks. I mean, it's good movie, but fuck you fucked it up. It's a good movie. It's a great movie. It's a great Did you think he's the best? Heath, yeah

Honestly, you're gonna see something controversial go ahead You know what this guy if you ask this guy with his favorite spider-man, it's that other Andrew Garfield No, that's what this guy is. No anything. That's not a popular choice. Tom. Oh, he's gonna meet Tom. Oh, here's the thing But I have an issue with the Tom Arnold You know Tom Arnold that's Spider-Man Really good. Yeah, yeah, it takes a fucking a day just to get from one building Yeah, but it's just beautiful. Yeah, he gets there Imagine imagine Tom and also he's great. He's scraped against the fucking free

But no, yeah, I like that guy he's great, but I don't like British All right, like I don't like British people doing our shit Like that's that's a New York guy. That should be a New York guy. Don't you guys feel that? Well, Andrew Garfield is not British. Is he? Yeah, they're all British and it's over Toby. Oh Toby is not Oh Holland's British. Yeah, he's phenomenal. He's gonna Tom Cruise like that. He has he has Peter Parker It's essence. I think the best season that's Zendaya girls. Great. I love her beautiful. He's fucking beautiful And then the Hawaiian kid love him. He's great. Great kid. He's Filipino. Yeah, Filipino There you go. See, I know he wasn't a real agent. You know, they have fat actors, too, man. What?

That kid's not fat. I can't believe he is. He's fat. He's fat. All right. Thank you, man Last night we watched a movie Magnolia. When is the last time you saw that or ever? But there's a scene at the end and Bobby must have cried for two hours after watching the scene. Good question It's the best. It's honestly Magnolia. It's probably my top 10 of all time. Do you cry movies? I do I'm a baby cry movies. No in real life more than movie. She cries a lot in real life. Yeah, I'm a big crier Yeah movies specifically but also in life, but I'm a big cry a big cry even in real life I mean in Andrew cry just if something is beautiful happening Andrew the last scene in Magnolia It's a long movie. Is it father-son issue? There's a father-son scene

Yeah, is it like is that what the crying is about because I'll cry father-son always There's a father-son deep and there's a daughter son daughter father daughter father Very deep mid for me mid for you, but you're gonna like it, but the last scene the last moment The one of the leads of the movie looks in the camera and she smiles and it cuts out It's the perfect moment Caught on film. I think

Hmm, and it's one of those scenes where I think that they did it one time by accident by accident maybe or they tried it and it worked and and PT went all right, let's move on that was perfect That's what you cried at just the way that they looked at the it's not that it was because of the suspense and what this Character had gone through. Yeah through the whole movie that little transition that little smile Yeah, it does so it relieves so much fucking Tension and pressure because you're watching this depressing fucking thing. You know, I mean, it's pretty real at moments, too Not when it's raining frogs. I know but that's just one moment. That was a little bit

Shut the fuck up. It's not like it's Harry Potter Harry Potter's Harry Potter's lick. Yeah, oh you love Harry Potter Honestly, my girl got me into Harry Potter and Harry Potter's fucking didn't somebody just do a movie or somebody's doing a movie or I did a movie Yeah, who was it? Some I don't know some big people man. Uh, Eddie Murphy. Yep, John Hale Amazing, Julia. Yeah, the Louis Dreyfus or whatever Bro bunch of people I I am so bad at acting bro. Oh, what happened? Oh, I'm just so bad at it. You cry No, I just I just bad No, no, it's not that it's because it's not really the your medium and it's like

You know, how good you are and funny you are and it's like sometimes when you're acting It's like you can't do really show your muscle because it's kind of was trying to acting is trying to not be funny It's it's trying to be serious and because you're being serious in an absurd way. It's funny Yeah, stand-up is trying to be funny. So I'm like do I try to be funny? Yeah, and then it's just so it's Would you get nervous guy get nervous, bro? I I got so nervous Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I don't want to fuck it up for every Eddie Murphy is the reason I do stand-up comedy Why I was given a line in a couple lines in a scene I didn't have any lines it and one was to Eddie Wow and I literally the first time I heard stand-up comedy was on

Cassette with my father listening to this audio. It's the reason. I'm a stand-up comic and I'm sitting here. I'm watching him and I Delivered the line. I bought I botched the line about five times. Oh to the point where and it's a big one like towels like strippers everywhere It's supposed to be a strip of whatever yeah, and like all the pressures on like everybody's holding booms from over the place the guy's arms Shaking, right? Yeah, and everybody's around everybody's just watching and I got to live this line And I fucked the lineup like three or four times. I even heard the script supervisor just go Oh, like you know that's in your head look maybe not maybe your head and I go

I finally get out the line and I and the lion say something to Eddie's like yeah Well, I got to go over to the park to or something like that like and it's supposed to be something We could like riff with I'm like, yeah, I gotta go over to the park, too And he just looked at me. He goes Yeah, oh My god No, it gets worse, okay, yeah, and then Felipe Esparza. He's in it. So lovely. He's so great He's just so great and he comes in he has he has a line he comes in and he just goes

His line is I hope you got the edible arrangements, right? Yeah Hope you got the other arrangement And then like he just comes in does that line and then leaves right they say cut Eddie Eddie Murphy looks he was hey, man You are one funny motherfuckers There's a balcony I would have swan dived off Was he was he genuinely was he genuinely he's nice, right? I've been him one time. He seemed nice And it was cool. Yeah, it was cool. They just didn't think you were funny. Yeah It was not like now. He was cool. Like it's just one of those things where I think you've been famous for so long

Like he's been the most famous person In like Hollywood since he's like 18 years old. Oh, yeah, like that's got a warp you but he gave me good like marriage Dude, he did when he did Delirious he was 20 21 like it's unbelievable. How 21 bro unbelievable unbelievable at 23 I did stand up. I could do 30 seconds. Yeah, right arena tour at 21 years old an hour of material murdering murdering Do you remember that SNL sketch where he played white? No Yeah, they did prosthetics right where they put Eddie Murphy in all white

So he's just this white guy and they wanted to show if people just treated him differently And so he goes into restaurants, right and like they give him the extra shit like extra size it's a really funny sketch But if you watch the fucking sketch, you would never know it was Eddie Murphy. Is that good? That's I think he looks real I haven't seen it in 40 years. So maybe it's hilarious. Oh my god. He looks like my dad That's Eddie Murphy, dude, it's so funny to go into restaurants and being treated differently, you know, man Oh, so kids in the then. Oh, no. Yeah, I want some kids. That's great. I want some kids You know, um, I gotta let my girl My girl is getting her

MBA now, so I want her to be able to like work For a little so that I can save her from that That makes sense. Yeah, like I did for like like I did with yeah from what? What did you say? I'm just kidding. I'm not saying No, I you did well, I just feel like, you know, you're about to nurse Uh-huh a baby. No, you're a nurse. You're going to nursing school. You're being a nurse I got hired you got hired as a nurse and we met you know, we started doing it's rare. It's so rare Yeah, stretch your man. And that's the fourth martial arts

I feel like we met and we were able to do this. No, you saved me from that. I was agonizing over the idea of being a nurse, but that's but that's the thing, right? It's like if you experience it I Teach her all the time. It's like I think you might enjoy this and you see how she has a job Yeah, set up and everything like that, but it's like I want you to be able to experience that and then if you don't want it Then let's work on something else. You know, she's got something else She's building and I'll support you while you build that but I don't want you to not do it and then go What if I did that corporate job? And what if I got that C-suite off? Yeah, and all that I want you to hate it and then we move away

That's what he I think doesn't realize that he gave me was what my parents couldn't give me just the freedom to just try things out And say, okay, like what like and to really be clear with myself about what I didn't like and what I wanted to pursue Like that's the biggest gift. He ever gave me was exactly what you're doing with Emma, which is hey, you can try that Yeah, I remember I really wish I was came to the wedding. Yeah, I remember being I remember being in the green room I think you along with it. Yeah green room. You I don't know When I was in the green room in Montreal Seriously, I'm being really serious. I saw you and I saw you and I saw you find me Farley was sitting on a couch Right and you and Emma were sitting next to and I remember watching you for my peripheral peripheral

And I remember going wow, what a young beautiful couple there because I didn't really know you I saw you perform But but I remember you had something on your face, right? And I was watching it for my peripheral Yeah, and I remember her taking her taking a napkin and taking it off your face It's like a piece of food, right and then you guys kind of did a bit I don't know what the joke was, but you were both laughing. Yeah, and I remember going man I really wish I you know, I I want to know these guys Oh, I think this is you know, and when I wasn't invited the wedding it really fucking hurt. Yeah

Yeah, it really fucking hurt man. Yeah, you were a dick in that green room. Yeah, it was a bro. Really? Yeah In what way? No, I'm just That was really nice, right? You were sweet and like I don't know if you felt the energy in that green room But it was it was uncomfortable at times Like did you feel it like I hated it? I hated it dude. I fucking hated it and I liked the people in it Yeah, yeah, like I like we had big J Bonnie me you who else was there the black guy OCP like I like all these people but in the green room. I love it like it was so I don't know There was like this weird and then what is there the English guy was there too? Oh, yeah, Jimmy car Jimmy car came in

Well, that's the problem with the show is is that we would show up and then people would just kind of do it Oh, like bigger guys, and then we're like, we don't know when why this and that yeah But you have to say that was my first time in Montreal. So I was just scared to be there, bro I don't know. I just like I kind of had my I found my like was it solace. Is that the word? But like with I just hung out with you. I feel you're the best One of the best you back then I remember telling you remember I said And I've said this every time you're fucking give you compliments anymore. I'm done. Fuck give you compliments Fuck this guy dude. Fuck you. You're all right. Okay on helpful advice

Sure, but just just to establish the friendship for 2022. Yeah, what would you like your friendship to be with Andrew? Oh, that's a great idea. Well, I Jokes aside, I want to tell people listening right now and everyone in this room listening I Literally sincerely I'm desperate to get sober. I'm in a lot of fucking pain right now, man. I'm fucking sick and And um, you know, I obviously I did this because I knew Andrew was in town. I'm being real man He farted. He farted. I couldn't hold it. I couldn't hold it. I couldn't hold it, bro I couldn't hold it. I let a little one out. He heard it. I let the red the rest of it out

There's shit. It's no shit, but I literally I let a little bit out I thought I could sneak it and then when I couldn't he laughed I lost control my butt lips and it just fell out All right, anyway, I'm not gonna finish that monologue But go go listen, you know about losing control We're talking about right now a little empathy for me what I'm going all right, so so all right So I'm going through a lot right and I promise everyone listening what my heart is is saying I'm really Desperate to get sober. I'm gonna go to this place. I'm gonna be gone for a month And I want to be honest because of the last couple of months

I haven't been you know, I mean it feels bad because I want to be honest with my fans I love them so fucking much. You know that so um, that's it. So that's where I'm at and Let's do an unhelpful advice unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalala and Andrew Schultz Dear Tiger Bailey, I feel like my wife isn't in love with me anymore. Whoa We are both pretty young and have two kids together. Whoa about a year ago She told me she thinks she's bi that hangs over my head We haven't had sex in a long time. She doesn't want to get annoyed when I try to get sexual

Oh, she seems to get annoyed when I get sexual with her I do love her but when she shuts me down it makes me feel gross when I talk to her about it again She gets annoyed and tells me all I think about is sex. I feel like I can't even get close to her What should I do? How I don't how do I pull her back? So where's this relationship over sober? newly married man, what do you think newly married? I don't know the bi thing is weird because that's information, right? Yeah, that's that doesn't need to be there unless she's trying to say something right, right? It's like she knows what that's gonna do. Oh, but she should have known that too before they got married

It's kind of fucked up of him her part, too Like you didn't you don't just find out you're a lesbian after you get married. No, you do sometimes Yeah, Andrew, what's so funny you do sometimes you do sometimes What's it were you and I want to give you how how? How I don't say things I don't say thing. Oh without any evidence. Oh, oh How how? I have a doctor. That's what Filipinos are. What are we native Americans?

You think they're natives. I think that's what they are. They're not he's looking at Kalala with that headband That's why I know I just think there's everything about him is Native American I've been invited to the tribe. Yeah, because I'm on reservation dogs You're on what it's a show called reservation ducks is a native show on FX. You're joking. I'm a part of the tribe I put a doctor on the show and so I've hung out with the natives. She's not them They're magical people. I know they are they have beads. He has beads, right? They came one of them came to see you in Montreal. I remember that distinctly That's right. She was either Native American or she was a that's what Alaskan or she was wrong. No, no, she wasn't

She was wrong. She was wrong. She was wrong. And I explained to you what I know I know I had to explain to you what mong is your knowledge your knowledge of no mong is from me No, it's not. I've been knowing about mong. You don't know anything. Anyway, let's go about mong's You don't know about mong's this guy's guys go on so the like Palestinians evasions That is true. They're driven out right home. So this person, right? What does this person do what? Does he try to save it does he leave therapy couples that are no you got to prove by oh, I Like this keep going. That's right. You have to prove the boy would be the assessment test I don't know but like now I'm all about this prove it shit

What happens when the sex has died? What is your advice? No, I don't know. That's a great question I think you got to be honest like about the sex being dead and then you guys could hopefully find a way to Express what you're really into and what you need right because they have two kids two kids at some point the sex was alive Yes. Yeah, so what is it that gets you off? Like maybe you're not turned on by your husband or wife or whatever it is Well, a lot of times when they see a baby come out of the veg, you know me. Oh, don't be Elvis What's Elvis Elvis was as soon as he saw the birth of a child? He was completely turned off by the woman. Is that right? That's what I don't man. Do

Really? Yeah, yes, I'm Backwards with the feet come out first. That's weird. Oh breech. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude. That's how I want to come out feet And if you lived, why would you die? When you can you deliver feet out first? It's a very uncomfortable pregnant for the mom But the baby die or no, that's not ideal. They usually do emergency Baby die or no, baby does not necessarily have to die and maybe they get choked That's what I would do as a fetus I would just pre kill myself so you

When I came out you would see my you I would do a knot with the fucking yeah, like for some reason I learned Yeah, I got Wikipedia down in the belly, right? Yeah, I learned how to do a baby is a knot Yeah, and I so I come out like this actually holding the fucking thing like this and I have a little note I don't know how I got the fucking paper. Yeah, I just say no That's a no nope Well, that's our advice to that's your advice buddy anyway, you have any clothes ask your wife to prove by Your clubs you want to push? We just did one thing of advice. That's the only one. That's what that's what I want to I want to meet those people right there

And I want to find out why she thinks she's a beautiful city. You're gonna tour next time. So What is this coming out? Next week two weeks two weeks two weeks. So not this Next week, I don't know the Andrew shows calm Maybe Sacramento, but maybe that's already been there New Orleans, New York City But I think I think that this was a fun podcast. Oh, wait, do you like his toenails? No, I Don't like it at all. You don't like anything. I genuinely don't like it. Okay. Is it the color or the fact that he I don't think it looks good. Oh, I don't think you need I'm a big foot guy

All right, so I'm warning you and this is gonna get worse The assault that I'm gonna give you is gonna worse if you keep at it, okay, and you're not gonna like it Thank you, that was a funny line to go off of yeah Oh, yeah, check them out check all the podcasts out Flaker to check it out brilliant it is Yeah, the Andrew shows our company check out them for us Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger barely ad-free on Amazon music download the Amazon music app today Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry plus in Apple podcast before you go Tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com slash survey. I