TigerBelly - Ep 339: Dominic Monaghan and the Return of the Slept King

Episode Date: March 16, 2022

Bobby is choked by a boa constrictor. Dominic gets beat by Billy Elliot. Khalyla spears her sushi. Billy Boyd gets George fired. We talk Michelin mystery, Lost, aggressive nudity, hobbit fetishes, and eating ass reciprocity. Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today If you go to slept kingdom calm you can get our new merch These are one of my favorite shirts. Look at this one This one was shot by my girlfriend in Hawaii Yeah, and this and this photo is as if you can feel the slept kingdom in the shirt This is an iconic iconic moment you also by the way, you guys these are hand-dyed So each sweater is special in its own way. There are gonna be some variations to each one We didn't go the lazy route. I feel like these are super special. They feel so nice and

Don't miss out on what I think is our most iconic Merch Wow Bobby threw that on the floor. Don't miss out on what I think is our most iconic merch yet Yeah Everyone relax. Thanks, man. I don't understand cushions. I'm gonna take your shoes off. Whatever Let's do great socks Simpsons doughnuts. Those are nice socks, man Yeah, dude What if you just kept on dressing We got a talk sex in the city, I want to do

Yes, all right, you wanted to the countdown. Yeah Yeah Hello, hello Is that your English accent? I'm trying man. Hello. Well What what welcome to another episode I can't oh, yeah, that's all right. I'm gonna learn man Yeah, yeah, it's only customer. You do a Korean accent now So welcome to another episode of tiger belly. Yes, I'm gonna introduce the people in the room I'm very excited about today's show so much because I'm tired of comics

Fuck comics, right? We get these guys the Mexican guy. What's the Mexican guy's name? Akash sing George Lopez? Oh, yeah, I've got sing but um, we got George in the room. Why does ever I love it stiff as fuck We got yeah, our own island Mexican Yeah, yeah, and then we've got my beautiful girlfriend. I too am an island Mexican. Yeah, I don't want to say it though But listen, I um I Want to introduce our first guest today Um We have a second. Oh, that's right. Yeah, we do. Oh, yeah, I know I met him

15 years ago, maybe 12 years ago. I think so right long time ago and we did some work together on mad TV. Yeah You're probably the biggest guy that's ever done this We had you on we were like, oh my god. We can't believe we got him Oh, that's cool. We we had a good time. We took some photographs We we had lunch together on set. It was great. And I remember you were doing your photograph stuff too right back then and But I was in my heart like I've met Elijah before never met Billy. I've met Samwise Ganji Yeah, Sean and and I but I honestly think You're the nicest Hobbit I've ever

There it is and I was so excited that I'm sorry that we know it didn't work out a couple of months ago But I was all good. I was super sick. But um, would you have COVID? No Addiction But so you guys know him from The Lord of the Rings movies, you know him from I love lost I've seen every Let's go lost. Um, I just saw you in the Force Awakens Right, no way. I was in the last Skywalker thing. It gets confused Well, which one were you in? I was in the very last. Oh, you were in the last one the last

The other guy was Jonathan Boyega. Oh my bad. My bad. Um, but anyway, Dominic Monaghan give him a round Hey, just to go way back Did we meet at the comedy store or did we meet a man TV because I used to kind of Loiter yeah around the comedy store because I am a fan of comics even though I know the Dark bastard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I was a big fan of the comedy store and I get the feeling you and I were like Hey, what's up? Hey, what's up? Yeah, we did do that. Yeah, but I think we didn't really talk until yeah You know me and Matt TV, but um, you were a big deal on Matt TV. I Mean you were you were the guy on Matt TV

There was a couple years that I maybe I was but what had what happened after mad was so grim for me in terms of my career Like I couldn't get anything going for like a decade really, you know, I mean So it was I was just on the road playing the chuckle full factory and it's terrible things and then um Like everything else you just have to be patient. I guess but I mean, how do you handle you handle like well like rejection and I Think I'm quite good at rejection because we're used to it. Yeah Yeah, in terms of like girls and stuff No, but seriously. Yeah, I don't because because our whole because our whole job is about you know, batting

Maybe 50% if you're great at your job. Yeah Probably most people are batting. I don't know 20% so Well, they say that they won out of 896 auditions people land that was like a statistic when it comes to all actors in LA What is it? One you get one job out of 896 audition. So just stay in for the Once every two years, right, right. Yeah, yeah, but like because I'm so used to rejection in terms of from a professional standpoint, yeah of like, you know, and it's it's weird in the states if you compare it to England because in the states Everyone love everyone loves you. Everyone thinks you're fantastic. Everyone thinks you're great and you're like, okay, cool

So I got the job. No, no What don't say I'm fantastic and you love me in England. They're much more like unfortunately didn't go your way or they preferred some more nails Right, you know, that's a heavy rejection, but at least it's like consistent and honest in the states It's like, oh, they they think you're lovely. You're fantastic. They love you. They're gonna see you again on Tuesday You're like, oh, great. Yeah, come in and they go. Oh, you were great. Okay. Did I get it? Yeah, or they use terminology like you're in the mix Right, what the fuck does that mean? Yeah, how many people are in the mix? Is it a stew? Yeah, you're still undecided on whether or not

Let's put a pin in it is a good or a bad thing. Yeah, or we put a pin in it. I don't know what the fuck that means Yeah, yeah, are you in holding? What does it mean George? I don't put a pin in it. It's like So, you know when there's a born they have headshots, it's like an old-term doctor You're pinned with other headshots for like a lead role, right? Oh, it's very often between you and one of the person, right? Yeah Who's this fictional one of the person that keeps getting all these I know who I know my other person Yeah, you know for a Ken Jeong was always the other person, you know, I mean, right you have a do you have a specific?

I've had a few or that a few there's a guy that you won't know I don't think because he was big in England and didn't didn't come over to the states had his own career in England Called John Sim. He and I went up for a lot of stuff for a while, but in the states I went up for a lot of stuff against Ben Foster Oh, yeah, and then Jamie Bell. Do you guys know? Oh, yeah, yeah, I didn't audition for Billy Elliot but yeah, which was weird because he was way younger than me and Jamie and I became friendly because he used to come to Lord the Rings Premiers when he was a kid He was like 13 14. Yeah, I mean we're in our like mid-20s and then as he matured into a man

He and I were auditioning for things and very often he would get it and I wouldn't I'd be like I'm fucking beating my Billy L By that guy Pepsi Premier yeah, yeah, but in terms of like girls and stuff. I I really have no I have no qualms of being told No in a plot in a pleasant way because I'm so used to it with with my job Yeah, I had a friend who's scared of rejection, you know go talk to that girl No, what if she says no, I'm like well if you're okay with the worst possible scenario, which is no Yeah interested then you're bulletproof. So I'd just be like just prepare yourself for a no and then everything else is great he's fucking

healthy Right We we process it in a completely different way. There's shame and there's guilt attachment. It's really bad Wait, maybe you just need to we need to break up so you can get rejected by a whole lot of women again And then maybe the nose will start to feel better. Yeah, but I don't know Perfect plan. Yeah. Yeah, let's not do that Then I have to get on Tinder and I have to do a profile And you're not gonna get on Tinder anymore. Tinder's out. Oh, you can get on Raya. Raya. Well, what if I get rejected by Raya?

That's another rejected all the time. Do you know even getting in like oh, we're getting in Oh George was on right. I know that's my point is it's like if I can't get into Raya and he got it my fucking producer I'll kill myself a question. Um, are we if you're in Raya is everything supposed to be confidential? Like are you not what are the club rules? Yeah club rules? Yeah, you if you take three screen grabs of anything on Raya And they'll warn you so there's been times. I mean certainly the first time it happened. I was like, oh, I want to remember this girl She's gorgeous. Whatever and a little thing would come up saying, you know, you cannot do this

If you do it two more times, we will eject you from the club. All right. Well, you can't save the profile like I like this one Well, you can like it and if they like you back then it gets saved The thing to do is to just work out their Instagram handle and then you go to Instagram or you take your iPad You use your iPad to take a picture of the phone. Nice. Nice. Oh, that's how I see people's Snapchats all the time. Yeah, yeah, you know, my friends like I think he's about to send me a snapshot of him ejaculating I'm like, okay, we'll let her watch it together. I want to record that for later Face time me from a different phone and we'll watch, you know It's definitely ways of figuring it out. But yeah

I think I don't know. I think the same is real life in terms of there seems to be a lot more beautiful attractive women on Raya then there is Man, although I'm not in the group that's looking for men and women. I'm only looking for women Yeah, from what my other guy friends say, they're like, oh, yeah There's there seems to be a large group of women and the women are only looking for in their very small pool of men But it's the same. Yeah, because they're filled with this piece of shit

He's wearing strange jeans. I'm kidding. Yeah, right. You're well, you're Mary. Why are you in Raya? Yeah, he won. Oh, I see. Okay, my bad, right. But can I call you Dom? Oh sure Dom. Yeah, my mom calls me Dom and Nick when I'm in trouble and I don't like you. I'll call you Dominic then Oh, yeah, sure Go to some nicknames. What are some options? DD. Oh, yeah, dodo. I sometimes get go get code dominator Dominator, I like that can be a little yeah, I just call you Dominic. Let's start there and then we'll figure out No, call me Dom. Call me Dom. So let me ask you something. You're not married and no I was engaged a few years ago. Yeah

America we partied ways to America Yeah, American from Arizona. Oh, wow I don't know. I think maybe having spent From my late teens up until my late thirties being vibrantly single We'll just leave that as a General placeholder. Yeah, you were a fuck machine finding my I

Finding myself in a kind of committed long-term relationship gave me the heebie-jeebies a little bit Which is a drag because I really want to have kids and I love kids and I would love my parents to be Grandparents to my kids and all that kind of thing. Yeah, it's just very difficult for me to do the whole Picket fence kids. When does um, when does that heebie-jeebie feelings start to come about like how after how many months or a year usually people have this like You know a set window where you're like, oh shit. It's eight months. I'm starting to feel yeah uncomfortable I don't know really. I'm not sure if that's an exact science with me. I just I'm I'm fiercely independent based on the patterns of my childhood based on what I've done in my life a lot of

Friends who are into star signs and all that kind of stuff say your star sign. I'm a Sagittarius They're like one of the major things about Sagittarius is they are independent. They are they're always moving. They don't like being pinned down So I think in a relationship once things get past the kind of Exciting fun. Who are you? What do you look like without your clothes on? What's your favorite food? What's your favorite movie thing? Once things start to get a little bit like I need to know where you are what you're doing you have commitments you have responsibilities It just loses a lot. I get it The veneer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I genuinely think someone is out there who is

Free in all the ways that I am and like hey, babe. I'm gonna go to New York for four days I'll see when I get back like great. I think you're amazing But the whole like coming in putting the key through the door and someone's like hi didn't it's gonna be on the table Yeah I also don't like the checking like I used to have like Pearl officers as girlfriends like you didn't I texted you you didn't check in with me. Yeah, because I'm not a fucking criminal Mm-hmm. You're me lady. You know me. Are you sure? Yeah, but you don't do a check-in thing. I don't I have my that's why this is works

My expectations are very clear. Like I just need tell me you're alive. Yeah, you know, how long have you guys been together? Almost ten years. Yeah, really. Yeah, this is real. That's amazing. Yeah. Yeah, it's real. Well, you guys have made it work So what's the secret? What's the secret you guys? occasional hookers But what if you met a girl that you really liked her, right and you went on a couple days I really like this girl, right? And then you went to her place and she had a gigantic Gandalf, you know frame And like orbs and like, you know, I mean like hobbit feet and she was like so obsessed with His fantasy he's describing right now upstairs looks like

Yeah, yeah, but that no because I've met girls were like, you know Like even white girls or whatever, but then you go to their house and they have num chucks Yeah, yeah, like everything's like bamboo and like they have a fetish or whatever. So if they had a hobbit fetish, would that be weird? I mean, oh My bit weird. There's no question that But I've hung around with people who Who are big on the movies. Yeah, it was it was a piece of pop culture. It was like a phenomenon that thing So, you know, it's it's hit a lot of people

I think most people who have seen those movies would say I like them and then you have people who've seen those movies and That is their all-time favorite thing ever. I've definitely hung out with people. Yeah, it is one of them. Honestly, I Think Laura the Rings is one of like I've had David when David Cho was on We referenced it all the time and Steven Young was there too, right? And we just reference I referenced it all the time. There are just moments in the trilogy that Just stick stay with this Bible. It's my Bible like the extraordinary book No, no, but genuine. I read the book. No the books I mean look the movie did a great job with the books

But if you love the movie, I'm telling you if you think the movies are like a nine out of ten The books are some of the most extraordinary pieces of fiction Like it's consistently voted as the greatest book of all time. Wow. It's an amazing piece of work I've never been more Intoxicated by a world then Middle-earth. I've read I've read books that I prefer more and American Psycho is probably my favorite book Oh, wow, that experience of reading American Psycho was more enjoyable for me But in terms of like finding yourself lost in a fantasy realm

Holy shit, Laura the Rings is insane. Yeah He developed those characters in World War two. I think right. Yeah, and then he's on the battlefield, right? And then he just because obviously there's you're fighting different lent people and this and that I guess I What that's what I would do I would just because it would be so traumatic being in a fucking war that I would just fantasize probably you know I mean, yeah, and try to get out of myself and those those four Hobbits represent the privates in the army Wow the four Hobbits are the Soldiers that go in wide-eyed great. Let's go to war. I want to help my friends

Yeah, and then they come out absolutely destroyed by all, you know Tolkin's incredible Tolkin was the Head of English Oxford University, which is arguably, you know, one of the most kind of notorious universities on the planet and was also the head of language Oxford University he created Four or five full languages that you can speak from Lord the Rings. You can speak Hobbitish You can speak Dwarvish. Wow speak Elvish. You can speak high Elvish So when you go to these fucking conventions, some people come over to you and talk to you in high Elvish assuming that I know Wow What do you want me to sign?

Like when when Aragorn sings yeah, is that real things he's singing? Yeah, that's Elvish. He's singing Elvish. Yeah, it's a little weird hearing him sing Mm-hmm. It's a little feminine You know, whatever and you're like, whoa, dude, that's weird. Yeah. Yeah, it's a little feminine. You don't sing. Do you sing in it? I know the Pippin dog. I don't sing. Yeah I'm really good at impersonating good singers, but I don't have a voice of my own Yeah, so Billy has a voice if you say to Billy whatever sing are you lonesome tonight by Elvis? He won't sing it like Elvis. He'll sing it like himself and it'll be beautiful

Wow, I can only sing it like Elvis, but I can impersonate Elvis really well And I can impersonate my Morrison really well and John Lennon and Bob Dylan like I'm really good at impersonating people Yeah, yeah, but like my brother's a singer and my brother would always be like, yeah, but where's where's your voice? How does your voice sound? I'm like, I don't know what my voice sounds like. I just impersonate people But your voice is so gritty, right? Right. So why don't that can be your voice, right? Yeah, but I think if I sang it it'd be more like Tom Waits or something. Oh That's why when I do an American accent in my voice, it sounds like I'm a 75 year old man I would actually talk like this

That's that's not how someone who looks like me. Wow. You go deeper. He sounds more American than I do Yeah, and I've been here for a long time I mean, I've talked to other people that are involved in that movie too and especially Hobbits and you guys You guys didn't get paid that well. No, no, we didn't yeah, yeah, but you people would be astounded how little we got paid I like outside of the industry. I think people were like, oh, you still got paid a lot in the industry people like wait You're in arguably one of the greatest trilogies of movies on that all time and you couldn't retire off it Yeah, we couldn't get anywhere near to return. That's insane Meanwhile, like all the Twilight actors and the Harry Potter actors and anyone in James Bond and anyone in Star Wars like they're all like

Oh, this is yes, but don't you get you don't get even residual you get residuals What? You don't get any residual now after after years of the Lord of the Rings only Being beaten by Star Wars in terms of the in terms of the products that we sold from the movies So Star Wars is the all-time king in terms of you know, lunchboxes and duvet sets and you know On serial boxes and all that kind of shit Lord rings is second So in all of our contracts, it said if you if we sell something that includes your likeness

Then you will get a certain amount of money and at one point Vigo Spoke to New Line and said hey It's been like four or five years and none of the actors from Lord of the Rings has received any residuals from hundreds of millions of dollars of money that you've been making from the trilogy and New Line said to Vigo, we don't write a check for anything less than 50 bucks Vigo's like wait, you're saying that we've made less than 50 bucks. Yeah, the actors and they're like, yeah How could that even be fucking possible? Yeah. Yeah, we had to get like lawyers to go in there. Wow

What do you call it? Auditing right? Yeah, I think we have to audit New Line, which is all very sexy I remember like what are you up to a lot? Well, we're just auditing a new line right now. Yeah But did you end up getting some we got some even even so You know New Line went bankrupt based on the movies based on Lord of the Rings movies Lord of the Rings made Over two billion dollars for for New Line and they went bankrupt. So something's yeah, is that Billy something is afoot? Billy Is that how you're gonna do it? You're gonna do it on the phone like that This is the only way you can do it. Yeah, we had some technical difficulties

But you can't you can't put it up on that TV now cuz you won't be able to hear you though. Yeah, yeah problem So don't look so scared Billy. I first of all, can I just I want to introduce my can you hear me? Yes, I'm gonna go pee go pee. Oh, yeah, where do I go? It's good son of P Yeah, I gotta I gotta put you up to the mic. Okay. I'm so sorry that this is the way we're doing it I know it seems weird, but the thing is is that I have incompetent people working for me. Is it 1982? No, it's not in 1982 no, um, but I'm gonna fire somebody Yeah No, but Billy I honestly like I've never met you in the flesh

Yes, something nice say something nice to me I've never met you in the flesh, but I've always wanted to meet you and I was so bombed when I heard you were in fucking Hawaii Why didn't we all just come to Hawaii? I get some surfboards, you know, we'll get some computers that work Why am I on somebody's phone? Yeah, this can be the the cutting edge. We'll have you back. Yeah, but but Billy We're gonna definitely have you back by yourself because I have so many questions to ask you and I also want to touch your flesh I didn't mean that in a I

Didn't mean I didn't mean that in a sexual way No, I said say something nice and you just said the nicest thing Yeah, I also want to say that Pippin was my favorite character in the Lord of the Rings movies Isn't he the best? I'll tell you why he's the best because he can sing Yeah, right you did you did knock over that thing into the well to let the orcs know that you were there So I don't know why you did that in the movies, but but aside from that. Yeah

I'll tell you why I did it because I knew the fellowship wasn't powerful enough I knew Gandalf had to die to come back as a white wizard But I want to say this I kind of like you I like you a lot and we're gonna have you back And also I want to say what because Dominic Dominic's back back. I'm kind of whist was But what I also want to say is is that? Well, it's so funny. You're whispering. Yeah, but what I also want to say is is that? You're kind of sexier than Dominic. Did you wait? I'm back now and I'm on It's a disgrace but just to me because I like Irish people

Yeah, I like that the accent, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's Scottish. Yeah. Yeah, you fuck to say Wow, that's like sing like yeah, I love Sir William Wallace Saved it saved it. Yeah, yeah, but so you're from Scott Did you do did you do your homework here Bobby? Oh, he's drunk No, Billy, I you know the thing is I literally thought you I don't want to argue with you but um Billy literally like I literally thought you were gonna be in here, right? So I don't I don't like doing research on people because Yeah, yeah, because I just want to discover and uncover then now I learned you're from Scotland

I just want to apologize that I'm not there because I was really looking forward to it was a lot of fun So I'm sorry. This is the best we could do. It's okay. But will I be able to do your guys's one day or what? Yeah? Yeah, we want you to yeah, we want you to would you do that one hundred one hundred fucking percent man Billy Billy's in Hawaii being all famous and sexy. Yeah, what island are you on Billy? Oh Is that the one we got? Yeah, yeah That's where you shoot the show. Are you with the are you with the family right now? No, it's just me furious wanking tonight

No, Billy Dominic wants to know are you gonna wank it tonight? Absolutely not Yeah, but if you did wank it would you watch like would you watch things or do you do it through your mind and your memories your Honestly, I've never done that. I would never do that Bobby. Oh, he's a Christian. Yeah, he doesn't believe me. Yeah Yeah, you know, we you know who he looks like Billy you look like my agent. Oh, really? Yeah What I would love to be your agent. No, I fucking have one already Billy. I'm just saying you look like him I would like to be him. Okay. Oh, okay. Maybe I'll fire I'll fire CAA I'll go with Billy boy. Yeah Because here's the thing you be my only client. I would work a hundred percent all the time

Wow pitch that's a great pitch. Well, I will Want would you want to be a Marvel superhero? Yeah, I've always wanted to be Wolverine. Can you make that happen? Do it. I'm the next Wolverine guys. Yeah, all right, Billy have fun on your vacation But I'm gonna see you when I do your podcast and I'm sorry. We would talk longer if we weren't doing it this way But I'm gonna fire some people but I fucking love you so much and I really want to meet you Consistently so nice and you can tell he's so funny. He's great Billy Consistently talked about between my circle of friends the nicest guy in the planet. Yeah He that's what most of my friends. How's the nicest guy on the planet and everyone knows that we're talking about

Oh my god. Yeah, it's amazing. What a nice guy. I'm just like because he's Elijah's nice. Yeah, they're all nice I I honestly do think that like when if you're moving around in those very Fortunate circles of being in the conversation to be in some of these movies. You can't be a jackass man Yeah, you just can't especially big ensemble pieces where you're together For a year a year and a half a couple years Pete Jackson just he just wouldn't have dealt with it He'd be like well, there's one person who's fucking everyone else off. Yeah, I haven't fall down a well Yeah, I mean also that that move I mean I remember even before that movie came out Vanity Fair did like a photo shoot with you guys and I was it

I was still in I was in LA. I was new, you know younger obviously and but when I saw that I just got so Fuck because I used to watch the cart that shitty cartoon right the back she threw. Yeah Yeah, yeah Now let me ask you this too because I need to get into it because we're both lost fans You were in two things that were cultural phenomenons, I think Yeah, back-to-back as well. Yeah loss was a cultural phenomenon. Yeah, did you feel grateful at the time? I mean, did you know what was going on? That's a great question

I think you with hindsight you always assume that the person that you look back on Doesn't really know what's going on and now you're the wise person looking back on them. I think I Kind of handled it. All right, but it was it was intense. We so the four Hobbits went to The Oscar ceremony for Return of the King when Lord the Rings won everything So we I think we were nominated for 14 and we won 40 Wow Spielberg came out on stage and and said it's a queen a clean sweep and we went up on stage and

I remember we're all like kind of huddled around Steven Spielberg before Pete came on to make a speech and Spielberg turned to The four Hobbits and said so glad I got a chance to meet you guys because my grandchildren will be really excited I remember just thinking This is crazy. Wow. This is Steven Spielberg Wow who I grew up watching. Yeah, who's saying I'm so glad I got a chance to meet you guys So and on that day the morning of that day I Had went and got my nails did Yeah, in like a really what I thought at the time was like a kind of cool funky

Yeah, it's like a I called it a a um a Reverse French polish so you know how a French polish is like white tips. Yeah, so this was black beds All my nail beds were like black nail polish. Whoa, and I texted JJ who had become Friendly with because he and I were kind of like Flirting around with the idea of trying to do something together and I texted JJ a picture on my hand And I was like, hey, check it out. What do you think of my nails and JJ said keep that because I think we might use it for something I was like, okay, and

Then I found out that the lost thing was happening And what he was talking about was that Charlie would have these yeah rockery nails, you know So because you she was shooting heroin in the bathroom. Yeah shoots heroin in the airplane. Yeah. Yeah, anyway But that made you survive. Yeah, I think you know It was it gave me a little little glimmers of false hope. Yeah. Yeah, and I chatted with a lot of people who had been in and out of heroin addiction and And the the kind of consistent through line with all of them was When it takes hold of you, you'll do anything

You'll lie to your mom. You'll steal out of a purse. You'll punch your dad in the face Their heroin is is kind of running the show. Yeah so I Tried to bring that at times into lost where even though he loved Claire and even though he loved the baby and even though He wanted to escape the island when he's got his little fix, you know, in a ship. Yeah Yeah, you were great in that but let me ask you did you guys as actors know because Gilbert you saw all of them all of them. Yeah, even the time travel episode year. Yes, that was a little weird the type

I liked it in the 70. It was cool. Yeah, I guess it was cool Yeah, but did you know year to year with the direction was going to or were you as blinded as us as a Yeah, no, they didn't know. I mean, we didn't know. Yeah. Yeah, we're just actors for high, but I don't think I Think it was kind of on I mean look Damon Lindelof who ran that show outside of JJ launching it did really well on that show was paid handsomely You know got a career out of that show. I mean was already working but kind of made it a name for himself Well, I think it was a little unfair because I think if you were to ask Damon, he would probably say I had a great arc that finished at the end of season 3

Unfortunately because loss became this monster ABC were like we want it to run for 10 Wow, JJ was like Damon was like, I don't think I can do 10, but I could do six So you're kind of laughing taffying the whole thing out and of course that process dilutes it all So he probably wanted to be like look, I want I want soya to do this this this and this and then he's done Wow, but ABC were like well actually can you do this this this this blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and then be done Yeah, it kind of compromises your art, you know, and that's why you get a smoke monster Yeah, yeah polar bear polar bear that never explain. Yeah, and a

photo statue that never gets explained and I mean I loved it. I loved being Hawaii a lot of the cast struggled with the smallness of the island in the fact There's only four uh restaurants and the paparazzi are everywhere type thing. I loved it. I went surfing I became friends with pro surfers. I kept chameleons swimming in the ocean Exploring the town go stop. Yeah Oh, yeah, I love I love chameleon. I love all animals. I love Wait, is chameleon a lizard? Yeah, it's a lizard. I don't know much about chameleon elastic tongue, right

They could swap flies from a mile or whatever, right? It's iconic tongues. They change colors They change color right like Michael Jackson. Yeah. Yeah, they're the Michael Jackson. Yeah, they're the Michael Jackson of lizards Yeah, yeah, but it's a mate. It's an amazingly sense. They like to bite little kids in the Wait, Michael Jackson It's a it's an amazingly sensitive animal you just you describe it as you know, you've obviously got beginning level Yeah, reptiles that people can keep. Yeah, and you got kind of intermediate then you got difficult I would describe chameleons as difficult to keep because they need a high level of humidity They need a very diet. They need uh sun and then shade throughout the day

So they're very sensitive in hawaii on the lay out on the night Oh, hello on the island of oahu and the other hawaii islands They live they're actually from Madagascar, but they got brought over at one point So hawaii 100 humidity sun tons of rain tons of animals. They love it there. So I kept my chameleons outside Wow, super healthy How many I had like four or five over the can I ask you a question about chameleons? Please do they have Do they recognize you? I mean

Is there a relationship because You know, you sent me the the video of the cow the guy has a cow and they obviously you can tell that there's a connection a you know emotional connection The cows recognize their owners There's licking involved and cuddling and stuff like that. Do fucking chameleons do that or no? It was much less licking That's specifically what you're asking Look, there you go. Oh, wow

That's a jackson's cameo. Oh, it's a four horn cameo. It looks like a jackson to me Oh, yeah, wow So this is in Madagascar. Oh, no, it's Cameroon. Well, so yeah, I don't know what I'm doing. You were in Cameroon. Yeah This is specifically to to touch chameleons or I'm a room. That's that's that's a problem. I went to Cameroon to find the world's largest beetle What? Are you? No, this guy's fascinating. Wow. I saw his photographs back in the day. Remember your do you still do that? Yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a great photographer this guy. Oh, thanks, Bobby. Yeah, but um, so super into wildlife I love animals. Yeah, it's kind of like I mean if we want if we want to get like really kind of deep and sexy about It's it's it probably is my spiritual practice. You know, I think that is my thing is like If I'm struggling if I'm looking for inspiration if I'm looking to build a character in my work But basically or a lot of the answers that I'm looking for in my life I can find in the natural world So I have a garden I keep a lot of animals at home And I find them inspirational and they and they kind of give me energy but in terms of the chameleon thing

Yeah, I would say that my chameleons and and some chameleons were were better at it than others responded to me in a way that was clearly They knew who I was. Yeah there They tend to change color based on their mood as opposed to their environment for the longest time people thought Oh, if you put a chameleon on a blue piece of paper, they'll turn blue and if you put money yellow piece of paper They'll turn yellow. It's not really true. It's more that based on their mood if they're pissed off They go black if they're super happy they go they go kind of pistachio green like a mood ring. Yeah, it is like a mood So I've had chameleons who if I pick them up

Some of them would be super stoked for me to always pick them up and they they go floppy and go green And then other ones weren't as into me picking them up. So I think they recognize that they were having a human reaction, but Other times they would be more inclined to get squirrely or bite someone that they were on as opposed to me So I think they could tell Difference it's just an energetic kind of connection. Right. Well, they say every rehab I've been doing I've been to many But they say Nature is such a key component to spirituality and being grounded and being present

So it's like I've been trying to do a lot of that like I try to stop by a tree and just look at Yeah, there's no better architecture. You cannot be the architecture of nature Like it is just so like the symmetry of nature Like even if you look at something like a cuttlefish, right? It's able to sort of morph into anything I think they they cuddle Oh, so am I bad? I don't know. Okay. So am I bad? Yeah, but if there was a sensitive and I'm guessing like the character mystique was probably inspired by something like a cuttlefish Yeah, the shape the shape shifter, right? Oh, so cuttlefish they shift as well

Yeah, like if it if it it feels like a predator is coming on and there's a rock next Next to it that it can morph into or look like it's going to choose to look like a rock squids do that No, yeah Cephalopods and then when they get released to the shit right that black stuff. Is that shit? It's ink whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, isn't that shit? It's diarrhea. It's diarrhea. Yeah, it's ink and the ink is really interesting Because the ink in the water is almost like a cloak of invisibility So it takes all the smell out of the water. Yeah overwhelms it with the smell of this ink So a lot of times an animal will be coming after an octopus or a squid

And they'll be on the scent and the octopus will just send out this thing and then suddenly they they disappear They can't see me. Well, what's that Netflix show that we saw that we cried. Oh my octopus teacher Oh, yeah, I loved it. Dude, that made me cry so hard So yeah, yeah, go on. Um, no one's gonna say like that's the thing a lot of times That I find that we're disconnected from we all have relationships with Dogs and cats and horses and and rabbits and stuff like that and that's great And that's an easy animal to get to know and and a fun relationship to have But the other animals out there is you know, they're all still someone's son or daughter. They're all still looking for food

They're all still looking to procreate stay alive stay safe type thing So you can connect with them. It's just a slightly more um long Kind of round about connection a dog always wants to come over and say hello to you A dog always wants to like get treats and stuff because they're evolved to have a relationship with a human So that's what I mean

We we spent hundreds and hundreds of years Acclimating with them, right? If we just did that with other animals. Do you think that maybe the That I mean eventually, yeah, you know, eventually it'll it'll take a lot longer And some of these animals always want to stay wild But my argument would be Which I found when I was when I was doing my my next show, which is what that what that clip was from is If you this was this was my kind of method when I was in the field Was I would

Approach an animal that I want to work with and I would try and find a way for me to get my hands on it Without it losing its shit and then as soon as I get my hands on it All I'm doing is trying to communicate to the animal without speaking. It's okay. I'm not trying to hurt you I'm not trying to hurt you and you would see in the show My cameraman Frank was sometimes a little bit scared around snakes and Crocodiles and spiders and stuff like that and I I will say to my cameraman You're good now because I can feel This exchange come back from the animal where they just they just relax. Okay. I'm good like wow tried to escape

I tried to bite. Yeah, I tried to sting none of it worked He's still hanging on to me. I guess I'll just relax and as soon as you relax, then you've got this little Communication going on. I'm not gonna hurt you. You're not gonna hurt me type thing. What's this? This is a big snake in a tree. Oh, what the fuck modern-day Steve Irwin. Yeah, this guy fell asleep on me. So, um Yeah, we're in Vietnam going down the river That's probably about that's fucking amazing dude about 10 or 12 feet long You're not a zoo. You're in the fucking wild man. It's wake and it actually fell asleep on me Yeah, I if I had a machete, I'd probably chop its head off. I would be so scared. No, you would not Bobby

Not this guy. You don't think so. No way just so what I'm doing now is I'm just watching its body language So you can actually like right now. It's fine. It's looking away. It's looking away It's trying to get out of my hand here trying to back up so we can get on my hand. I'm relaxed. I'm relaxed I'm talking to the camera. I'm like, okay. We're chilling right now. The snake's kind of just in stasis. It's like Trying to figure stuff out, but there's a point where you'll see in a second. It starts to like get interested in The heat coming off my head because obviously I'm perspiring and there's a lot of heat coming off my head So it starts to come and investigate around my head whilst also coiling

Around my body and if you know anything about snakes, especially big snakes, you know What they're gonna try and do is they're gonna get some coils around you to control you And then they're gonna come over to you to your head and attack you So what I something happened between me. Is that a boa? That's a python a python similar So I was I did a part of the animal practice. I was on a show called animal practice and the pilot They had a but did I tell you the story or I think so they had a so the pilot was we're gonna do a camera shot And buy your office and which it's gonna be a quick just pass by but a boa constrictor is gonna be choking your neck It's a funny, you know site

But what happened was the russo brothers were producing and I think was joe russo goes What the fuck stop cut and the boa constrictor had exuded some sort of toxin Wait, they can't do that. Yeah, or something shit. No, not a shit. It was like a defense mechanism But I had an allergic reaction Oh, that's not it wasn't just squeezing you No, there was there was there was like my bumps on my face It probably is that it didn't release anything you just had an allergic. Yeah, you probably maybe just uh Fensitive this guy. I know I don't know but and then put that's a python man. Put this next to the

There's dom show. Oh, that's bumming Same animal show same I have a question. Are there any of all the animals you've ever interacted with is there one in particular that just sort of gives you the Ugh, I cannot be around them for long like reasons for me like I can be around spiders. I'll handle all kinds of spiders I have a really massive fear of cockroaches because they used to fly into my hair when I was a kid And I used to have to crunch that's not fair though because the philippines have fucking the aerial ones We had not the german cockroaches you have here and I used to eat the meat on my shin when I was eating as a kid Um, so cockroaches. They're just out for me. I understand

You know, we can associate some of those negative connotations with an animal and it can have a real effect on you. Um Not really just because No, like Because really The experience of being with that animal is always worth Having the experience and getting through whatever level of anxiety that I have I can't think of an animal that I'm anxious to be around But of course being around a large tiger or a large shark or a

You know, even a big whale in the ocean is extremely intimidating to be around because they're so big So but the so this the tiny amount of anxiety that I might have around being with those animals is far Overwayed by the experience that I have in the moment, you know, humans are probably the ones that bum me out the most Yeah, if you want to get real about it. Yeah other Asian actors really bum me out They really do it like jimmy yo yay fucking bothers me There's like there's like a very there's like a very honest interaction at least for me with animals because We've been able to prove that the animals like chimpanzees and and gorillas and you know The the great apes of which we are one of are able to lie

They're able to you know, kind of say something, but it's not true most other animals don't lie So if you're hanging out with a lion and it does not like you it will tell you it doesn't like you Yeah, and you will be yeah, you will be expected to respond to that interaction. But the thing that really Bombs me out with humans is we very consistently say that Everything's fine things are okay. You're fine when things are not okay, and you're not fine, and they don't like you So I prefer for the most part the interactions with the natural world because it's very honest very easy to me to understand The snake will be like I don't like you there. You take a step back and the snake goes. Oh, actually, I'm okay. We do there It just seems very transparent

Why can't we get to Humans get to a point where we we're very clear about how we feel Oh, we can set boundaries and just go and just be honest But we you know, I I don't say things to certain people that I want to piss them off or whatever if I have a resentment But I would love to get to a plump place in human in the human world where things are just more clear about How people feel and this and that you think we'll get that Well, it's interesting that we tend to as a as an animal we tend to get to those places when we've been exposed to Uh hallucinogens and psychedelic plant medicines, right? Have you done those?

Yeah, but if you if you're around a group of 10 people and you're all coming down after an amazing Mushroom experience, you'll find that most people are incredibly genuine honest transparent for the remainder of that evening and then the wake up next day and Start talking shy again. Yeah. Yeah, but you know what I mean? That's interesting. That is interesting. Yeah Yeah, do you not eat meat then? No, I eat meat. Oh, not not as often as I used to but I eat meat. Yeah I'll eat You know fish if I feel like I've never been that really into red meat. I don't really eat pigs Uh, it's not really my thing, but sure. I'll eat sushi and yeah, if I feel like yeah, yeah

Yeah, I we're curving I feel like I'm curving you told me the other day you're not vegetarian for years What are you talking about? I've always curbed. Yeah, but if I eat a hamburger and I don't finish it, you'll finish it That's more out of guilt Because I I hate the idea of you throwing away meat Yeah, because I'm like, oh fuck So I because it doesn't you know, I justify it because it doesn't look like a cow

Yeah, if they just had like the eyeball or something. Maybe you know me something something that's better You know in some countries I say this all the time like you know when I first came here from the Philippines in the Philippines They serve the whole pig with the face with the nails everything you see the whole you eat the nails And then they call, you know, I remember having like going to a Filipino party here And they had American guests But the whole pig was on the table and people were just up in arms about it put a towel over its face I'm like that's hip

Exactly. It's like if you're gonna eat that animal look at straight and it's dead eyes. Yeah. Yeah, like I think so I mean No, I agree. Yeah, I think there's if we could live in a place or if I could live in a place of like I would like to eat fish tonight. I'm gonna go down to the river catch a fish. Yeah, fill it it cook it I think there's some level of honor in the right. So I spearfish spearfish And but every time that I get a fish I genuinely feel like my heart aches a little bit And I always tell him he's he thinks it's barbaric. He doesn't like it, but I'm like, will you go eat sushi? Mm-hmm, but I think that it's yeah, they're both those two are both the same things One's just been scrubbed up and clean

They're both barbaric. You could argue. Yeah ID are but I know I'm gutting that fish. I'm scaling that fish I'm using my own breath. I'm doing every I don't know what but I don't know how to Sorry, no, please Sorry defend yourself. Yeah, I don't know how to fucking do that. You could learn your great swimmer. I'll float I can float. I can't go under. No, you go wear weight belt. Oh my god Just to get sushi Then I get one brand of sushi. I like get a variety. Can I promise you that it'll be the where's the hamachi? There's no hamachi. You can get hamachi. Yeah, it'll be the best

You can get I go to nobu. I get all of them. You can get yellowtail. Yeah, you get blue fin You can get all of it. Yeah, I think I would be more mindful like I think we should get into a society If you want to eat a cow kill it yourself. Mm-hmm. Yeah, but then I don't know how like what do I show up with a swiss army? I wouldn't want you to just go there and stab it a thousand times. I don't know what cows. I imagine cows would be difficult It's a very strong animal. It doesn't know how strong it is or how dangerous it can be. Yeah I mean cows kill humans, you know throughout every year a certain amount humans are killed by a trampling cow Yeah, um, and they're they're they they can live up to 20 years But most of them die at five because that's when we slaughter them and then the the lives that they live

Of when they're born till five are just terrible. That's like ashaweds. Oh, yeah, it's miserable. It's a fucking miserable The veal industry and some countries treat those animals. Yeah, they're immediately torn away from their mom and Never see daylight so that their skin stays kind of, you know, gooey and yummy and stuff. Yeah That's why you don't grow burgers away. Okay. I know what I I shouldn't eat them because I think it's hypocritical number one number two You know, I hate the dog meat industry like when I see fucking euland dog eating festival photos I get into a rage Like I want to kill chinese people Because of covid too, but my

What's that what is that country really late for this autograph signing? I never seen this before Oh, why not? Do you guys remember this? I don't remember that at all. Really? Relax, my precious That's like you now nothing has changed Nothing has changed. Burn it off I can't look at myself wearing a costume. This is what I wear Wow, I remember very cool to be naked, right? Yeah. Well, I I've curbed that because of this I know of this our society someone had a really great theory as to why you like being naked a lot

Can I read it to you? I already know why I do it. I have a big dick so many people said Someone said that okay, I have a theory about why bobby likes to be naked Bobby talks about his father often being naked when he would beat him I think the trauma of being beaten by a naked authority figure may have caused him to associate nudity with power and control In situations. He wants to control. He will take on that role himself and assert dominance through aggressive nudity There must be a level of Empowerment and freedom around the fact that you're the only person naked in a group of people who are very nervous

Someone naked is yeah, I mean I can see how my theory is this. Okay. My theory wasn't that a sound theory. That's really like that too. Yeah I like it too. Shout out manila rice. That's but I Even as a kid I would look in the mirror naked Not in front of my parents or just the bathroom like a normal person And I was had such shame of my dick size shame I had shame also about being korean because I grew up in an all-white neighborhood There was a handful of asians in the city that I grew up town I grew up in

So, um, I think um, and also I started getting weighed and kind of like I shaped like you know Like a cutie pie? No, just like, you know, boba, you know, I mean I love boba But then I started I had so much shame of my dick size and how I looked before cancel culture and stuff like that You know, my toky would slip out every once in a while. You know, I mean toky is that what you call your toky the dum-dum toky the dum-dum, okay What do you call yours? Yeah, yeah, you're just knighted though. So sir, whatever you want to come up with but my point is

You know, I I think england Like you live here, right? I do because of the 15 years because of the business and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I On the weather. Yeah, the weather women the women Yeah, I mean, seriously, there's beautiful women in Manchester, but a beautiful woman in Manchester is probably like five and a half Yeah, are you because I are you a city or united fan? I'm a Manchester United fan. We're having a tough time Yeah, you honestly

Sir Alex Ferguson was Obviously, I think the greatest manager of all time. Yeah, you can make a strong argument. I think yeah, and I think that team I mean, there was a couple of generations of teams that you had under his Yeah, like you had the the original gigs nicky butt. Yeah, I mean back on the whole Yeah, goals. Yeah. Yeah, and then you had um, and then he kind of brought in the Ronaldo the Tevez The nannies the Valencia's. Yeah. Yeah. I hate Manchester United. Right. Who's your team? Arsenal. Oh, God, you're having a tough time We're fourth right now. Yeah, not as bad as us. Yeah, you guys are fifth. Yeah. Give me the pillow, George

What wait? Yeah, give me the fucking pillow, man. So you grew up liking football. No, when did it happen? I um Um, thank you. FIFA. Oh, oh FIFA, right? Yeah, because I You know, Ben Winston, I don't know if you know Ben Winston. He's a producer. He produces James Corden's What's the college? But he's he knows Venger And he knows Honoree, you know, I mean, but I In 2005 or six, my brother and I were at a game stop and we're like, we should Play a game and he goes, how about soccer and I go, I don't know how it's played

Well, and he goes, well, you just kick the ball and things. So we got this 2006 FIFA World Cup the road to rule and and in that game they had stars above The good player. So Wayne Rooney had a star. Obviously, Cristiana Ronaldo. Yeah, that's fucking gold that he did against Man City Where you did the bicycle kick. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah After that I just like Rooney Arsenal, how did Arsenal become because I like glam Arsenal. That's I'm glam. Yeah. Yeah, I'm fancy. Yeah, quite showy I'm showy. Yeah. Yeah

But the reason why I liked it is because, um In in the game that my brother and I bought it was only national teams. It was in clubs So I would always play with France and Henri in the game was much faster and just had better ball control Yeah, so then I just started researching on re that. Oh, what's Arsenal and then I started getting into, um The the season they were the Invincibles and all that stuff and then it's an amazing season I stopped playing FIFA and I just watched Arsenal, right? I was in I was in a restaurant. I was at Mozart. You guys know Mozart. I love it. Love it

I was at Mozart with a friend having dinner and Zinedine Zidane Oh, they just came and we just came and he was denied a table We've never been denied a table. We always get a seat there I told the mainstream I told the mainstream when when we were leaving because we watched my friend and I watched and he Came in dressed in a nines shaved head impeccable little black leather jacket that fit imperfectly tight little I would have sucked us. I would have sucked us. He was a very handsome man. Yeah came over smiley Look just look a million dollars was clearly asking for a table the maitre d nice was like, I'm very sorry very busy right now

It was like eight o'clock. I'm so sorry come back and you get all signed language stuff and he left And my friend and I were like, I can't believe you just turned out the greatest midfielders of all time And when we left I said it to the guy I said, do you realize that handsome guy who came in with the black leather jacket? You realize who that was now I said, he's one of the greatest soccer players ever and the guy was like, yeah And he'll headbutt you in the chest. Yeah Wait, how long have we been trying to get slat on on here? Ibrahim Ibrahim he'll never do it. I met slat and did you meet him? No. Yeah, I met him when he was playing for the galaxy I have his email address. That was the chance. That was our chance was when he played with

Yeah, oh god, he replies to my emails No Oh It's a big you scored my greatest goal of all time. Can you pull up? Slatan Ajax goal Okay, do you just put in slatan? You know, I suppose. Yeah, yeah, putting Ajax ajax So this is the last game that he ever played for Ajax

He scores if I could score any goal in the history of football. I would score this My goal a Ajax My goal would be slot on against I guess english There was national team when he does the overhead kick from like a hundred fucking feet away No, you don't want this. You don't want to fool you. We watched his documentary Put in like Ajax put in like Slatan Ajax classic goal or something like that classic

Yeah, try that There it is Put the one underneath that there you go that on the minute and ten. Yeah. Yeah, let's go. It's bad It's bad. It's bad. Let's fucking see that. Look at his Latin his Latin. Okay. Oh, no, wait. That's not Slatan. It's coming up Oh, he gets fouled right at the start the pass is going to come to him now. This is latin He gets fouled here. He doesn't care Oh Oh, shit dog the jukes in that he makes everyone look stupid and then he puts the ball in

Oh, my god, it's such an audacious Watch watch this so he gets fouled here. He puts the ball a little too close. He gets fouled. Wow. That's okay. I'll ride it Look like I'm gonna shoot. Look at him. Even the camera guy gets lost too camera guy thinks he's gonna do something Wow, and again four five six That's talent. Oh, that's that's talent. He's a ball. He's amazing. I lived in you guys email Yeah, well here and there, you know, I'll send an email and then he'll reply which is which is nice I lived in sweden for like

nine months doing a job and He's one of Sweden's like iconic. Yeah figures, you know, so Everyone's walking around in like slang Wow, I was excited about what he does, you know, he's retired now from the english team You know, if he runs his own social media, maybe you should shoot your shot. I said, what do you know? What do you think? Hey, what would you say to slatan? Bonjour, I don't know

He's european. He's european. Don't be don't get angry. I know what I know what it is, right? Did somebody just fart? Don't fart, please. Okay. Yeah, we have a we have a guest What would it say dears latan dears latan? Um, well, you wrote a song about him. What you just sing that really? I think I did. Yeah. Um, yeah, I love your nose Yeah, yeah, he's a great nose and I love your stature And I think that you're one of the best Best footballer footballers ever to do it. Yeah

Um, would you come do my podcast? Is that how and then I would go right into the podcast But but the thing is is that I here's the reason why I don't think he would do it Is because I feel like he because he doesn't stay in clubs that long Right, and I think the reason why is because he just wants much like you maybe he wants to move on and Or He could be a problem Yeah, he's become a little bit of a journeyman player and I'm not sure if that was his idea

I think him coming up at the same time As christiana rinaldo and leonal messi who are two just legends. Yeah, don't get me wrong Slatans a legend too and if slatana had to come up on his own I think everyone would have been talking about him being the best player in the world and winning the ball on door consistent times unfortunately, he came around at the same time as A michael jordan and a scotty pippin and you're dennis rodman and people like yeah, you're great Right, there's messi. Yeah, there's rinaldo. I mean messi's an enigma. You pull up the iber verve like iber verve

It's puyol photo. Okay. Um, do you know this photo puyol? Yeah. There was a was a point. No, it was um, who's the good looking? He's date. He's married to Oh, so peter. Oh, that's jara. You are pk. Yeah. Have you seen this photo? No, no I want you to ask you and I don't listen. I don't care if you're gay Okay, I love gay. Me too. Yeah, I love the gays. You know what I mean? I've done some gays, but What what are you? Yeah, I know but go zoom in. Now they both played on the same team. Yeah, barcelona barcelona. So look closer Have you done you've never have you done with this with billy before? I don't actually know what they're doing

I know they're holding each other's hands. Yeah, so tenderly. I think yeah. Well, look Okay, pk is a defender, right? It's like latin is an aggressive attacker. I wonder if they're leaving a training session and one of them Put in a hefty tackle on the other and they're having a bit of a bro town. Yeah Hey, man, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We had a bit of a fight. Yeah, but we don't do this Right, it's like I think this was taken when he was leaving barcelona. Yeah, maybe it was an emotional He's got that hair for it. Yeah. Yeah, it must be such we I talk about this with my friends all the time It must be such a strange

Sensation for someone likes latin for example who was the best football player in his school The best football player in his city the best football player in his country. No one could fuck with him He comes to barcelona and there is a kid who is 10 years younger than him and a foot and a half smaller than him That is clowning him and clowning everyone else. It must be such a moment for these people's egos because All of these elite athletes have such massive egos They need to have the egos to be walking in and out of those dressing rooms And then suddenly he's like I need to check my ego at the door because mess is gonna not make me and he's gonna lob Yeah, I'm gonna look like a fucking idiot. I mean saying that we live in the time and anyone listening. We're fucking right now

We're living in a time where we have the best footballers to ever grace, right? Don't you think the planet almost? Yeah It was with ronaldo with fucking messy and shit bro It is an extraordinary time to be to be watching football And I think we won't really be aware of the of the legacy that they've left until they retire And then we all kind of say, okay We got a little complacent that messy was scoring 45 goals a season Ronaldo was scoring 50 goals. Yeah, you know, but once they're gone because underneath them right now

You've got Neymar who didn't really smash in the way that you wanted to and Bappé who's doing all right You know, you got a couple of like English players that are great. Bakarisaka Arsenal fantastic player Declan rise, but they're not these Aliens like messy words like Ronaldo four blown alien Just I mean like unbelievable if I'm I watch a lot of YouTube. So during COVID I kind of my attention span got fried a little bit and instead of watching Two and a half hour long movies or you know binging TV shows

I was watching a lot of clips on YouTube and very often my happy place on YouTube is just endlessly watching messy dude Shit where you just like wait, what I do the same thing. What are you doing mess around with physics like that? You know, yeah, I did a movie last summer with in I wasn't hungry and I I did one of the actors and they have Charles now nabery not Charles. Yeah, that's his name And um, and so one night he goes we had we weren't shooting that day and he was just like let's watch the man you gave me was like some FA cup final or something like that and when they lost This man. Oh, it's the Europa fine. Yeah, he kicked me out of his room and he started to cry

And that's how you know and I've met English dudes that don't like it. Don't if I would have asked you I go What what do you support? You go? I don't like football. I would have probably kicked you out of the Michael Bisping Michael. Oh, yeah, Michael Bisping did that from Manchester. He's from my city. It's fucking blast for me Call him out. Call Michael. Fuck you Bisping. I'll fuck you up. You know about rear-needs can take a choke hold I'll put you in one bra kumura or a twister dude. Yeah, fuck you come on. I'm good. Fuck. I'm not afraid You're a pussy You're a pussy. You're weak and I have another Englishman that'll fucking kick you. Yeah, we're from the same city Dominic Monahan. All right Um, not only got one eye Michael Bisping. Yeah. Have you met him? I've not met him

But I would love to he was UFC champion for a while. Yeah He's done our show twice and he's just the best. I've got crazy respect for him to to win a UFC title That's a huge amount of commitment and I watched that night when he won it and he was clearly obviously very emotional All from Luke Rockwald That was crazy. Some people will like I have met some people that don't like football. It's usually It's usually the artistic people So if if you grew up with someone who's a whatever a singer-songwriter or wants to be in some way involved with the arts Very often they're not into football, but my dad is a football obsessive. So it just happened for me

Yeah, I'm glad you're that type. I wanted to ask you guys about Well, it's a great podcast for this because I was talking to a friend of mine about this recently about being a comedian nowadays and being very conscious about Council culture. I'm sure you've talked about it Or just in podcasting in general You know that iconic quote from Andy Warhol that everyone will be famous for 15 minutes

Yeah, I was saying to my friend. I wonder if now it's been revised to like everyone at some point is going to get canceled I think so, you know, like and maybe it's becoming diluted in well. Builder says it best You only have to dig so deep to find something to cancel someone over Especially because we've been podcasting for a decade Imagine the amount of ignorant shit we said 10 10 years ago. Right. Yeah. I mean I lie all the time. I say fucked up things. I've done You know, not only how many episodes of this have we done 300 we have a plus I've done I have another podcast to do. I've done a lot of those as well. I've done everyone else's I've done radio

I mean, I've talked so many times and obviously you can dig up shit But it's getting to the point where my friend I can't name his name But he is a comic and 20 years ago. He did about 15 years. We did a podcast and the host said Say the n-word He's like, I'm not gonna ever I never say that word Just as a joke my fans will you know what I mean? So we just said it like really quickly But now he he's a writer He can't get a he can't get a job. That's a black shell. He just can't you know what I mean? And it's like

You know, I've had a lot of problems You know in terms of cancel culture this and that and I've had to now you know curb What I say, yeah and edit And it fucking sucks and it's brought me more toward the right It just in terms of Here's the thing

We've lost The word redemption right in our In our vocabulary, right? There is no way We're not we can we'll chastise somebody ruin somebody's career, but there's no forgiveness There's no there's no Even if I change and I do the work To better myself or whatnot. There's no room for that anymore. And it's just I don't want to live in a society like that Yeah, it's very unforgiving. It's so unforgiving

I mean, I think you can be on a podcast. I could be on a podcast like this and say something like You know Whatever I will never say this disgusting word and say that disgusting word in the context of Saying I will never say it Yeah, and someone will say he said it on a podcast and now he's cancelled and they'll just clip they'll just clip that word Which they did be rogan, right? But you know what he

He he's sort of like what why are you smiling? I'm smiling at you dude because I'm trying to navigate this thing. I see you thinking I know I know it's formula all over your head because this because rogan is like family to me, right? Sure. Sure. I don't need show. I like you. Yeah, I like you a lot, right? So it's like, you know Some of the things he said I don't fully agree with some of the covet stuff I don't agree with but at the end of the day, it's like Even if I saw this I've said this before I saw this girl In indiana and she was in a grocery store and she's anti-vax anti-mask

And she's kind of spit on a woman that was telling her to wear a mask, right? That's a salt Yeah, and I think that she should have gone to jail, right? But she got fired from her job. Yeah And I that's just that's just a step Too far. It's one thing has nothing to do with the other in my opinion, you know, um It depends what they're doing for a living It depends what they're doing for a living like if there if there is an outwardly racist woman calling another Person a and she works as a teacher in a predominantly asian school like that Right or work. That's a problem. He works at P of Chang. Yeah

It feels weird. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like I'm gonna get canceled for But you understand don't this is what we've been dealing with for the last couple of years It's so sensitive, but he showed but Drogen showed us a way To kind of navigate through it. Yeah. I thought that his responses were really good. Yeah on both things And he's got a massive platform which helps him from a daily Excuse me from a daily basis. He can keep revising those things trying to improve on those things I call heat because

When he made that post which seemed to be outside his house where he's like, hey guys I realized but if I've got in touch, you know, Joni Mitchell left and Neil Young left and that's unfortunate. I'm a huge Neil Young fan I'm gonna try and maybe educate myself a little bit more on some of these things that I'm talking about Maybe bringing an expert. Maybe we'll have a little disclaimer at the bottom of my podcast. Yeah I'm gonna try and do better my bad. Love you guys. See you later So on his instagram, I wrote and I said, hey Joe Just want to say that's cool that you held your hands up and said I think I made some mistakes And I'm gonna try and do better. I applaud that

What happened on my instagram? People like you're anti-vax. You support a racist person. You did I said, no, no I don't support some of the things that joe Said that he supported what I supported is another human being saying I fucked up I'm gonna try and improve we should all be able to support that. Yeah The sensitivity in this culture is outrageous and the righteous, but is it like that in England? Uh, maybe less so than the states, but it's still around and everywhere's influenced by the states. It all starts here. Yeah Loud influential culture, but I can slightly navigate through it because I can kind of be like well

My job is an actor. Of course. I have a podcast with billy But like, you know, for the most part I can just be like look I play characters and my opinion is something that I want to keep to myself I feel worse for people like you guys and especially people in comedy who are like I'm on stage Trying some stuff out and and spitting stuff and seeing what sticks. Yeah And now people are like, well, you can't be impulsive now because if you see say something Impulsively upsetting we can cancel you. Yeah

you know That being said I have done stuff like I had there's something because you know during the pandemic I didn't go up And a lot of this culture shift happened in that time period in the last three four years, whatever, right? And when I came back to do stand-up, there was one joke I can't tell what their joke was, but it's a longer bit And I kept trying it and trying it and they just wouldn't laugh I would just eat it And when I thought about it, I went

I think it's my ego and like I want to make this work. You know what I mean? But fundamentally the joke Is mean. Well, it's fucked up. It's fucked up and mean and I used to get laughs With all these fucked up things I would say on stage and it's just like, you know what? I need to grow as an artist and I have to be more sensitive because there's no love in the joke It's just kind of weird, you know, I mean, I wish I could But um, yeah, it's pretty insensitive to me. It's still funny. Yeah when I think of the joke I laugh and when I'm doing the joke, I'm laughing because I love it. Right. Just stop

Sometimes insensitive things are funny because the punchline Is so shockingly insensitive That you have to laugh But I think unfortunately we are never living in a culture where people are like, well, we have to be more sensitive about what we What we put out there and I've also benefited from the culture changing. I'm working more now I'm so glad we haven't didn't because we're at the end. We don't have to talk about sex in the city. Oh, I wanted we don't have to talk about it Did you can you separate the art from the artist though? Can you still listen to old bill Cosby records? Can you listen to michael jackson records?

Knowing what you assume. Listen, I we watch my so my brother I was just at my parents my mom's house in arizona and I just drove back yesterday, right? So I was with my brother and my brother didn't see the bill Cosby documentary Right. So we watch it and he's like, well, he's obviously a pedophile and the I mean a rapist and not a pedophile, but like a bad Awful, but then I watched bill cosby himself all the way through and I laughed In there we need to talk about Cosby show, you know afterwards after we were done watching it. I just went into my own room Yes, that documentary. Yeah that documentary. Yeah, and I you watch some stand-up some old stand-up Well bill Cosby himself that special is like the white album. Right. It's just perfect. Yeah. It's clean

Yeah, it's the greatest storytelling you've ever seen and the dentist bit is just so Good, right? So I did chuckle, right? Um, if I see beat if I hear beat it in a mall, I'll do a little dance Well, that should be that should be sort of the challenge for someone who really finds like Michael Jackson everything offensive To just put them in a dance floor with their friends enjoying themselves And then put on beat it and then see if they're able to just walk off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the challenge Yeah, yeah, you know, if you're not allowed to dance to beat it Can can you dance to I want you back?

And he's just a little kid. He's probably not up to too much Where's the gray area? Where's the gray area? It's But also we will we do you see the Batman? Yes, I saw it a few days ago. We won't do spoilers. But yeah, no spoilers, but let's talk about it. Yeah. What do you think? Well, I'm a fan of the graphic novels. So I like Year one, I like the long halloween. I like the long kiss. Good night Which are a lot of what it's based on if you if you read those three graphic novels. Yeah, Frank Miller Year one

The long kiss. Good night and the long halloween. This is where they try to turn Bruce Wayne and Batman to a larger degree into the world's greatest detective So, of course, he'll beat the shit out of you if he needs to but he's kind of a sleuth He's picking up clues. He's solving riddles all that kind of stuff. That's what I loved about it I loved it too. There were so many frames in that movie and scenes in that movie that were directly taken from the graphic novel You know the moment where he's no yeah directly taken from the I got just I got goosebumps You know the moment where he's walking into the crime scene and one of cups is like you freak Yeah, it looks over his shoulder. That is straight out of uh year one

Where they're where they're giving uh because it's it's cool He's the Kate crusader and he's trying to help out the police but the police are all suspicious of him Is he a criminal? Is he a vigilante type thing? But that that theme was explored in the other movies as well, but I felt like this one really nailed it down like I felt Like he was not welcome at all in any of these crime scenes. Yeah, and it felt like um I don't know a third enemy almost. Yeah. Yeah, right. You know I mean and I like the noir kind of element of it Everyone's talking about it being too long. I did think it was about 20 minutes too long

I think they could have like cut a few little moments here and there that weren't needed because you've already told that that beat So we don't need the beat three or four times after it And I think if you'd have cut 20 minutes out of it, it would have been sharper and sexier and cooler I still like a great movie that's long because it's still great But the other thing is like noir things like china town and you know the early work of Orson Welles and stuff like that or or like uh, Humphrey Bogart stuff those those movies are slow They do ask you to sit around for three hours. Yeah, they do Like slowly unravel a who don't it. It's not a marvel who don't it where it happens in 30 minutes. It's

Yeah, yeah, it's a it's an intelligent piece of cinema that is Expecting their audience to be patient and they paid their ticket and they want to sit in and be an entertain So I loved it. I also loved the character of Gotham in that film. It was so much Gotham It's raining. It's always grimy. It's always night like Christopher Nolan's Gotham look like Chicago Yeah, it was it was Chicago and the they might have added some buildings or an arch or whatever But in this one you could feel a different world. Yeah, it was more menacing Chris Nolan's trilogy of Gotham is that's Gotham trying to get its shit together

It's not always raining sometimes the sun shines the buildings are expensive the roads have been cleaned Yeah, the cops are relatively on the up and up everyone's okay You can walk through the city of Gotham in Nolan's trilogy and you'll be all right in Matt Reeves It's raining. There's rats. There's grime. The street lights don't work. There's trash everywhere It's like Gotham itself is sick and it's Everyone and it's infected the Batman. There's a tangible fear. Yeah to even amongst the criminals. Did you find that like? Oh? Yes, even with the parts where they're like, uh, you will fear me in the dark I was like the criminal looking at the dark spots. Yeah, yeah

Yeah, and I got I got we would be like, oh that seems menacing, you know, I mean the way they used something in the way By nirvana was beautiful. Oh I want to listen. Yeah, that that was amazing brilliant That baseline kicks in pushing in on that little kid Yeah, and you can see Bruce Wayne underneath the Batman mask looking at this kid thinking when I was his age My parents were killed violently and he's just witnessed his family killed violently and then the fucking Yeah, and you see like the camera like zones in on him. I thought it was fantastic. I thought Paterson was great I thought Kravitz was great. Yeah, Colin Farrell and Farrell. Oh

Hey He's fucking amazing. And also the little penguin moment where they've tied up his feet and he's like, hey You guys gonna fucking leave me here? Yeah, yeah, yeah, amazing. Let me ask you this being old you two because you guys are happened to be white Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Yeah happened to be when you see, um A minority cast casting in like a James Gordon, right? Does that bother you guys? No, no, he was great in that. I think it was perfect brilliant But I could see some white people going. Ah

Damn Gordon's white. It's like a cat woman's white. You know what I mean? No, I don't feel that way I think my James Gordon needs to be The honorable leader of the police force and everything else is up for grabs Yeah, I want my cat woman to look great in a leather jumpsuit and everything else is up for grabs There's certain things that don't move with with the cat woman and with James Gordon But I'm not interested in in color and stuff, you know, wow Although I think that James Gordon in was it? What's his name that actor? Jeffrey right? Jeffrey right? Yeah, his Voice was more like the Batman in the Nolan shows. You kind of talk like that

I'm gonna rub him down at the police station. Yeah. Well, he sounds like Christian Bale doing the Batman voice, you know I thought he did a great job that guy. I'm gonna go see it again. We have tickets for tomorrow Oh, cool. I'm gonna go see it again when it just starts to Tape her off in terms of the crowds because I'm sure when you guys went it was packed, right? Yeah, when I went it was very full There was a there was a couple on my row that had like a public argument at the end. I love seeing public arguments It's fantastic Do you know what I mean when you're not involved? You're just like, oh, this is great. Yeah. So it was distracting

Yeah, obviously no spoilers, but we came to the end of the film And the guy stood up And we're starting to get his shit together and you could hear the cougar And clearly she's saying I want to stay I want to see if they do something at the end of the credits And he's going no I want to go They had a little bit like it. I think he liked it, but he was like it's been three hours I want to get out there. She's like, no, I want to I want to stay. Yeah So clearly the person next to him was like, could you please be quiet? Like they were literally like talking. Yeah

So then they sit down Credits roll. There is something. Do you guys stay till the very end? There is something at the very no No, no, no after the credits or is it? Yeah, it's interesting. Stay stay tomorrow. He never does. He never stays Stay tomorrow night. I was at a pee So stay tomorrow tomorrow night. Yeah, is it it's not it's not worth it. It's not marvel. I'll just say it's it's no It's not like a cut scene like marvel. It's cool. There's a piece of information that you can go online and check out which is really fascinating and What is it like?

Five seconds something like that, but there's a little thing that comes up where I was like, oh, shit I need to write that down on my phone. Wow It's like you're playing with the riddle the riddle. Yeah, let me ask one last thing about the movie. Okay Would you I'm not gonna get no spoilers, but there's a scene at the very end the movie in Arkham Um, right. Yeah, did they introduce a new character? Can I say that? Sure. We're getting I don't give a fuck. I'm bleeping this part out. I'm bleeding. You're bleeding. All right. All right But what do you think of that scene? No, we it's too much sweetie

What kind of out I don't want a one out of 10. I went Yeah, four Well, do you know how that person is? Well, I love that. You know who the fictional person is but you know who the actor is Yes, I love he's I love that. He's great. He is great. He's a fantastic actor. Yeah I think you'll do a great job. It's an extremely intimidating role to try and Fill into how do you do? I mean like would you let if they asked you to play the doker? Would you take it on? I your penguin was great though, man. Hey, sweetheart. It's so on point. Move over, Colin

I love Colin Farrell's where I'm I've always been really fascinated and interested in actors that find themselves Having a big moment like we all remember that moment that Colin Farrell, you know, he played bullseye in that Daredevil daredevil and then he's alexander and then he's you know dating britney spears and their unread carpet So and he had a big moment and he's boozing and drugs and all that kind of stuff And then he like sobered up and was like, okay, let me just fucking get back on track. I'm an actor I love acting. I'm gonna take these great roles not that Pattinson seems to have had those struggles with his personal life

But Pattinson clearly struggled to get out of the twilight Stuff and he did really well with it. Yeah, I'm fascinated watching those things. So in terms of I love Yeah, you're right. I love when people reinvent themselves brilliant and they and they persevere Yeah, it's and and with him the lighthouse Lighthouse. Well, I think that's what a mind fuck. What a great movie. What a good times is great. I never saw twilight Oh, yeah, it's you know, so when I saw him in lighthouse I was like, I am aware of who he is, but I just became an instant fan. I'm like, this guy's so good Did you see good times? No. Oh, check out good times on Netflix. That's one of this the safty brothers

That's the one that blue guys who did uncut gems with Adam sand. Oh, yeah Yeah, it's before that and it's another like breakneck roller coaster Movie, he's brilliant in that the guy that we're talking about at the end of the film He's also been really shrewdly managed or he's made really smart decisions I'm going to work with this iconic director. I'm going to work with this iconic director. I'm going to be involved in this project Um, I would have been more into taking a stab at the riddler. I've always had the kind of a Uh, a thing about the riddler. Yeah the way that I would do it. I can see it. I can see it too. I can see it too, yeah Joker's Joker's big. It's big shoes, man, and um

It's just too stressful I think you have to maybe give away a lot of yourself to be the Joker some of those sacrifices that these actors have made to play Joker. I think that's because You know, he's a he's an insane person. Yeah, and he's a very charismatic insane person and I think Actors playing them Those the Joker roles can sometimes find themselves thinking okay. I'm going to lean into my Crazy charisma and then it's tough to pull that shit back. Well, that's what happened it. He had ledger, right? I mean he he died immediately like soon after soon after and um, I think that to tribute

Attributed is that the right word? Yeah to maybe his demise. I don't know kept a crazy diary. Did you hear about that? No So I think I think his ex or the girlfriend that he had when When he died kept all of his diaries when he was in when he was in prep for the Joker, but he He basically like locked himself in his hotel room for like six weeks and just kept a diary got room service stayed in Clearly was playing around with substances and stuff, but he would write down gnarly

Things that he was thinking about to try and get into the Joker headspace and then just read them back So it was diaries of like whatever kids with hiv or fucking old man falls down the stairs and breaks all the legs In his all the bones in his legs type thing And it would just be lists of awful things that you can think of if you're doing that Your brain doesn't know the difference right drinking you're alone. You're taking substance. Wow I I just think unfortunately you got in there a little bit too deep I mean, I'm sure you guys know it but that that moment where the Joker in do in uh, no one's trilogy comes out of the elevator at the

at the Bruce Wayne party And and the first person that he sees when the door opens is Alfred Michael Kane Yeah, Michael Kane had lines there But he'd never seen Heath Ledger in the Joker makeup And he was so shocked and freaked out by what he saw and the performance that he forgot all his lines And that's when Heath Ledger goes ladies and gentlemen Wow, that's because Michael kane's forgot his lines and Nolan's clearly going okay Go on and then he starts and you see Michael kane just go

Because it was such a real organic response. Probably. Yeah, that's amazing. How about what time? Dude, uh, we're in a rom-com right now. There's a double episode. Yeah, how many it's 90 minutes. Wow We only do usually dude. I only can do 50 minutes really No, but oh, you're not you're great with you people who know me well and kind of want to needle me a little bit Yeah, all right. Don't just no, but you're great at it. Oh, that's very sweet That's why I have a podcast and I can't wait to do yours and if you fucking but and I'm gonna just take a little risk here After we're done. Is there any way I can get your number? Yeah, dude. Come on. Well, do the two of you not want to be on?

Do you want to be on? No, he's he's the guy. Oh, come on. Why would you yeah? We come on. Yeah Yeah, I have very little to contribute I mean, look, I think you'd be fantastic you have if you want to talk about animals all day I'm the girl you are of course invited. I'm not gonna talk about the fucking Lord of the Rings the whole time I was but I think that's the point. Well, no, we don't always talk about we talk about it here and there the only rules of our show for our guests our guests have to Suggest an a food item or a drink item that they want us to drink with them on the show You know, we've done

Matsubo soup and we've done Jardinera this kind of like spicy Korean no, I want to go chimichanga. We could do any any of those have to be pleasant. No, it can be anything Yeah, we've done shitty stuff. We did smoked oysters out of a tin one day Oh And then we asked our guests to pick a piece of music that they think is in some way funky And you can use that word however way you see fit and then we will rate it all of us on a level Oh, that's great funk But we unfortunately have not had that many

Ladies on our show and we do a weekly kind of look at the podcast and where we're at and last week We all kind of noticed. Hey, we've had like 10 12 guests and we probably had three female guests Yeah, we like a little bit of female energy. I'd love you to be how many Asians have I don't think Any you'll be our first you will I like I like I like I want to pop your cherry Yeah How the friendship onion you guys the friendship onion check it out. Yeah. Look at his stupid little face He's a dumb face. Yeah, nice guy though. So but at the end of our Dumb dumb. Yeah, it was we do a thing called unhelpful advice

So people email us problems and you can be helpful or not helpful. Okay, but go ahead unhelpful advice with dominic mother All right, since we uh, I think yeah, don't we'll be able to help us with this one. Hey guys My name is martin big fan. I really started listening to the podcast about a year and a half ago. I'm hooked Um, so my problem is my girl won't eat my ass and I'm wondering Say that again So my problem is my girl won't eat my ass And I'm wondering if it's because it might be a little hairy or she's not into it But I eat her ass all the time and she doesn't ever reciprocate and it hurts my heart

That I might have to leave her or what should I do? Am I overreacting? I might have to leave her or what should I do? Am I overreacting? Should I try to eat my own ass? Is that possible? This is never die. This is nothing to do with asshole licking. This is everything to do with reciprocity Oh, let's work for some. What does that mean? Just getting back what you give. Yeah. Yeah, that's his cup is being drained It's not an easy test to eat ass all day as much as he's saying he does it Yeah, but but can I just say something right now? Let's just compare. I love my asshole being eaten. I don't know. Let's just compare. You're not an asshole eater That's on you dude. That's on me and I apologize. Imagine how I had to finger my own asshole. You know sad that is

All right, stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. I don't know what you're saying right now. I'm just saying you want her on the podcast It's really wild. No, but I know like here's the thing is is that this nine years of fisting my own ass Baby, baby, baby, baby. He's making eye contact. Baby. Baby. Don't don't don't like that, baby Okay, what I'm saying to you is is that I think I feel like a male's asshole. Yeah, it's far more grizzly Grizzly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, I even in Englishman like this young man right here, right? That's a man. I feel like his asshole is still on the grizzly side. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah, go ahead. Well I had a grizzly asshole trying to get away from my own asshole I I feel like

As soon as you move into the bedroom arena and two consenting adults are getting naked Yeah, I feel like whatever the girl asked for you should be able to at least have a conversation about it Like, oh, I've never done that before. Maybe you can give me some pointers, but I'd be happy to as long as you're not Hurting someone and they don't want it. I think you should be able to say I want this and I want that everyone has their own Right references. I would agree. I think most guys Feel like that's an area of their body. That's probably a little kind of private and maybe not But I here's the thing. Um, I have to say that 95% of all the men I've been with

Enjoy some type of You know ass play. Yeah. It's a very stimulating erogenous zone. All I'm saying is Right, but I don't have to eat your ass after, you know, you've sat in a car for six hours I would ask you to take a shower if that's what you wanted. Yeah. Hey, sweetie Like this is something that I really enjoy and you're like, all right. That's fine. I'm gonna give it a go Wash your ass. We're gonna scrub it real well with a brillo pad and I'll get to work. Yeah, and you'll see if Yeah, I'll put my bib on and I'll get No need to for that. It's not that I don't have diarrhea

It's also very hypocritical as well, right because I think Most guys. Yeah, well, I don't know about most guys because I don't ask him but like yeah I'm like if I if I'm with a girl, I'm like, hey as long as like we're all We've jumped out the hot tub or we've had a shower or whatever. I'll I'll go anywhere. I'll do any I'm a fan. Yeah. I'm into that And I if a girl's like a bit prudish and like, oh, I don't really like that. I'd be like, what the fuck babe And if she's like, okay, well, will you do this for five minutes and then I'll flip you over and do that five minutes It's not really my

So I do think it's a little yeah And also like I'm okay with an ass smelling like an ass Just oh, hello. I'm not I'm not when you're in the bed. Well, here's the thing an ass is always going to take on a certain don't get nervous. Yeah. Yeah, it's just it's I I would hope it's not like grizzly like you say, but if it takes on a certain aroma That's a natural smelling ass. I am okay with that in the same way that a pussy smells like a pussy Yeah, but that's pleasant. I hear what you're saying Okay, the asshole is the part of the body that has the closest relationship to feces than anywhere else

Should have a feces Yeah, yeah, there's there's a threat for food poisoning. I realized that I don't want to get some vanilla What about the What about the kind of cross pollination that can sometimes happen? Do you know, I mean, maybe you're like, but I feel like cross pollination can happen Even when I'm giving a blow job like I've been with guys who've just been so reckless about their wiping I'm so anti wiping wash your fucking assholes. But all I'm saying is there's some cross. I've you you've cross pollinated

What do you mean? You're a bubble bee, bro. I'm nervous. What do you fucking mean? Sometimes you wipe from back to front and you've gotten a certain scent attached to your balls back to front All back to front, which is a no no. I've never done that. Uh-oh. Well, somehow you had shit on you She's trying to be polite Because my fear comes from my remember the dingleberry story It wasn't my dingleberry to be clear. I met a girl. I'm sorry Sadam. I know it's okay. It's not But they came up the question. Yeah. Yeah, so um, you should have had him on your animal show

But she had a dingleberry right and I had to flick it with my finger I didn't say anything right, but at that point my ass days were done Wait, see when you see dingleberry No, I love it I love that's hilarious, but but same as you I would be like hey, babe Whatever, I've not seen you all day or it's been a while You know, I'm gonna jump in the shower. You want to jump in the shower after me or let's let's jump in the pool Or hot tub of as long as you know that everything's all tickety-boo down there

I'm a fan. So basically what he Adam is saying is this guy should be clearer I don't know. Did he say that he's asked or been clear about? Yeah, I would say I would I guess my answer to him Which is the same thing that you had said. Yeah, it's a reciprocal thing. I think he's in a very uh Easy to manage arena, which is he can say hey, babe You seem to like it when I eat your ass and you get a lot of pleasure out of it I might also get that same pleasure too. Do you want to maybe like Come some way towards making this a 50-50 thing and if she's like, ah, I don't really get off on that

Then he might say okay. Well in that case Maybe we kind of find something that we could both like right together that or he can slowly graduate there I oh she can slowly graduate to the ass eating like what are you doing? Sorry. Oh, I know Like no, no, no lick the tank first Don't even licking use your hands to stimulate his asshole if that's what he's into He doesn't have to be her tongue now if he it's require if he's requiring that it has to be her tongue right out the gate That's a bit. That's a kind of a power play that I'm not really into. Yeah, you kind of are your smiley I might be into that

But I just feel like he's like if he's giving it like he's giving up a bmw as a president And then she gives him a lollipop. I just feel like It's not the same. You're right. I feel like the exchange rate is you know, I mean I feel resentment for this guy. I think oh, wow But can I ask another question is that I feel like he's not communicating it correctly Some I had a friend who happened to be gay And he told me that there are pleasure points inside the butthole. Yeah, I've been trying for so long And I've been sticking my finger in my butthole. Let me do it for you. You can find my pleasure. Yes, I can. I've tried so hard

I know you're gonna you're gonna jam your finger. No And through my asshole you're gonna Tickle the inside of my dick and then I'm like, yeah, that's the dig Yeah, it's in and forward. Yeah, it doesn't you can actually access it Or where is it in the body? Where is in the body? So it's if you go in and you press forward towards the penis that's usually where it's at not even that deep But you know I've not had it some girl tried to do it and I was like, yeah, it's not really my thing But I understand from a scientific point of view. Uh-oh

But you can access it without having without penetration But you just don't I don't I don't believe you. You know what you should try this. Yeah, this is like you Slightly move in this arena without getting like fucking internals. Yeah. Yeah, you're like a gamers chair or anything like that Do you like play I do have a gamer chair somewhere over there. Yeah. Yeah, if you kind of sit on your gamers chair, no, but seriously If you sit with like an erect spine And just like slightly rotate around I think I've done that by accident slightly I'm not kidding. Well, you're like, oh that feels in some way kind of right So next time I'm playing warzone. Yeah, right and and my friends are like, what are you doing?

We hear this the chair moving, right? I just forget it this and that. Yeah. I might come Yeah, I might come. Yeah. Thank you for that my English friend. Yeah Very interesting I do think he is in a great position though to be able to say hey, babe. I do this for you. You love it Maybe try doing it for me. Maybe I'll love it and if she's like, uh-uh, then there's like you said there's a problem with communication Yeah, but also like yeah, if he's saying like eat my ass, bitch, like that is not the way to go Yeah, right. Yeah, who does that? I'm also like we talk about cancel culture and all that kind of stuff I'm also very aware now as a single man that like

You have to sometimes hit these like Consensual markers all the time in people. Yeah. Would you would you like to come back to my house for a glass of wine? Yes Are you sure? You know, yeah, I'd love to okay. Yeah. Now. It's almost like Hey, I'm thinking of kissing you that feel and like the romance of all those things because very I mean just from a Just from a he said she said or she said he said vibe Yeah, let's say hypothetically a boy and a girl go back to the boy's house They're drinking wine. They're having a great time. They're watching a movie and the girl Makes a pass at the boy leans over and tries to smooch him. Yeah. Oh, I'm not comfortable with that yet

Yeah, we don't really know each other type thing. Yeah, okay. Fine. They leave that boy nowadays in our culture could very easily be like I went to this girl's house She gave me a glass of wine. Yeah felt a little inebriated suddenly. She made a pass at me I did not ask for her to make a pass at me or vice versa and yeah, all of those things are true But it's what at what level of truth that we're talking about is you hear that the the very iconic black and white image of the soldier in or the naval officer I think in Times Square. Oh, yeah, who kisses the woman right that woman years later said I did not know this man Oh, I did not complete stranger to me. Wow

Grab me threw me down towards, you know in a kind of like that dancer kind of yeah Stuck his tongue down my throat and it became this photo that everyone knew about Yeah, I personally felt kind of violated now if that happened now Oh, she could easily cancel that guys. You're right. You're absolutely right. The gray area now is so much more dangerous than it used to be You know, but don't you feel that the pendulum is swinging the other way a little bit or no? I feel like it is maybe maybe But it's so interesting, but you know what at the end of the day There have been a lot of victims

They have never had a voice And you know Like what do you think guys can think of the Elvis trailer? Oh, the bas-lemon thing. There's a new Elvis Yeah, it is bas-lemon. Yeah, that is him. Who's bas-lemon? bas-lemon director Romeo and Juliet Right and my brother my brother was sitting next to me and we're watching it and and I thought but didn't he marry a 14 year old girl?

Yeah, yes, he did. Yeah, but what yeah, but would they I mean, I'm saying is this like That's not weird. No, they've said it people have been calling it out. It definitely is weird. Yeah, I mean there's Times change, right and the things that we associate would be a normal change obviously back in Neanderthal times when we were living to be like 30 or 35 Most people were probably sexually active at like 13 or 12. Yeah, because as soon as a woman is able to have a baby They're like, well, you're You're a middle-aged woman because you're gonna die in 15 years. Yeah, so of course

Looking at that culture. You're like, well, that's completely inappropriate, but things change, right? Yeah, and I think even when Elvis was getting married to Priscilla. I still think because jerry lee louis did the same It was a cousin. It was a cousin. Yeah, that's a little weird as well Yeah, bas-lemon is a huge so good. If you look at his work moulin rouge strictly ballroom. Romeo. Oh that guy Not bad. He's great. It's all romance great Gatsby. It's all great. Yeah. Well, yeah It's all unrequited star cross lovers. Right, huh? I think it looks good. It does look really good I'm a big Elvis fan and at first when they I don't you have you seen that actor before I've never seen that It's nothing. I have seen him before. Yeah, I just know he is venessa hudgens. Yes. Oh, is that right? Okay

Austin someone Disney guys. Yeah, but when at first I was like I don't know like Elvis, right? But then maybe 20 seconds in the trailer. I'm like, yeah, but he's doing it and then I just bought into it You know what I mean? And it matures a little bit more into Elvis. He looks more like the 1970s glam Elvis than he does the 1950s Elvis Yeah, but I still think he looks good. It's gonna be all about his voice. Yeah, if he can if he can pull it off with the voice Yeah, it's gonna be good. He's a handsome. He is a handsome fucker though, huh? So is Elvis. Yeah, Elvis is This is where the prostate is. Okay. Here we go. Here we go. Yeah. That's all we have to milk. That's all we have to do, man It's rewards the penis that I would have but that what was so that thing that it's not that far in the middle

I know but can I just ask you something This what is this what is this prostate? That's your prostate that I would be milking. Oh, hold on So is it Go ahead dawg. Well, I was gonna say Yeah, because I've never had this I mean, I've had doctors go up there. Yeah, check check stuff. Yeah, what are they? What are they checking that? They're checking your prostate They are. Yeah checking to see if it's enlarged and stuff. I didn't necessarily feel a great sensation. Although I wasn't a doctor's office But is it is it slightly attributed with the sensation of needing to pee is that

Is it or is it like ejaculating? So like I feel like when a female's like g-spot is hit at least mine I do get that similar sensation of like want thinking that I feel like I'm gonna pee myself But I never squirt so is so I I don't know if it's the same for men. I just well I learned about Spanish fly from the Bill Cosby document again And they say that um, it there's a sensation You know woman, especially and it's like a and when you pee It gives off the sensation like it's your horny or whatever

What? Yeah, Spanish flies. It comes from a beetle, right? A real. Yeah beetle. There's a beetle And I think you ingest some of its wing parts. Yeah, which is toxic and that toxicity Creates a heat an allergic reaction around your genitalia. You just vasodilate basically Your blood you just classic vasodilate. Yeah, because that's what allergic reaction is your vasodilated So the blood flows exactly into those widened things. You know blood vessels Engorged. Yeah, yeah, pussy's become a little bit more kind of full of blood and then engorged. Yeah Because have you not seen the fully engorged vagina? Yeah, yours. Anyway

Hello It's beefy Thank you, that's beautiful. Thank you. It is beautiful. Yeah. Yeah, but it's beefy Anyway, I don't want to do it. You're not getting it beefy. You're not getting the job I know. I don't want to do a three hour podcast here. Um, this is great. We're almost at two hours I know we've known when's the last time we did not a lot not a lot long time ago. Long time ago We're not doing anymore. I don't give a fuck. I could do a fucking another hour. I don't give a fuck We're stopping. It's fun, man. It's fun. You're great. It was a great question. You're great at it

Yeah, thank you for your what's his name? Uh, he didn't have a martin martin. Good luck, martin. Yeah I hope you get your ass eight in 2022. Yeah, there you go. Okay, good Me too Good luck Anyway, um your podcast check out your podcast. Yeah, I would love to um do yours as well and um Let's have the two of you on stop being so self-involved And I would love to hear that you're going um, we're in we're in hollywood. We're like hot. We're like sunset and vine There's a studio right there. I even if it wasn't anywhere I would go. It's yeah

I'm going thursday sandiego to for tony's house. Oh, wow tony hawk I'm gonna drive down there. I'll give a fuck. Oh, that's wicked. I mean, I would do with that I would go to england for you. Oh, thanks, barbie. And are you back doing stand-up now? What with all the whole slowly? Yeah, slowly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you ever want to come? I'd love to see we're gonna exchange number you text me and come Are you spending more time in austin because there's a bit of a scene blowing up in austin or not really far cost in No, because they They la for life over here. No, basically, you know, we everyone followed rogan to austin

And um, I'm just an LA guy. Okay. I like to be around korea town. You know, yeah I love korea too. Yeah, and I very closely. I live in los fielos. Yeah. Have you done kill tony? I used to judge it. Oh, no shit. Yeah. Yeah, but um Anyway, oh, there's some history there. There's some history. What's what's in your mouth? Uh, a toothpick Okay, so you're the nicotine one or the caffeine one caffeine are delicious. They are a caffeine toothpick Give me one. Let me try one. I'm okay because I had too bad for everybody We're ending My ass play for 40. I know

so, um, I want to say that, um You're just a nice guy. Oh, thanks, and I knew that then you know, I mean I felt that then and um I'd like to have some sort of friendship with you man. Let's do it. Yeah, I'll give you my number So give uh, what do you guys do? I mean, we're all are we all kind of the same age? I'm in my mid 40s Well, you know, I just turned 50 But you guys like are you you guys go when I go clubbing clubbing? What the fuck are you talking about? I'm just trying to work out if you guys do what I do. I go to like I seek out like

Rad restaurants that people think dude. Oh, yeah That's all we do like deep dives into like the 12 Hidden restaurants at LA that we're doing someone who needs to eat her. Yeah. Yeah, I do. I do like No, we love We we have a goal of getting eating at all the Michelin stars in LA Oh, nice. I want to go to other countries. I want to go to Mexico City and go to Puyol Our favorite one just closed. Which one? No, it's back open. Is it back open? Is that here? They're opening in the road detail. I they have a new space

Oh, thank god. Yeah, I think that the number one dessert of my life is from kato Where is well, it was a japanese food taiwanese taiwanese taiwanese, but it's really good. We should all go Yeah, we're huge foodies and um, but we also love going to like Choson or any of these korean restaurants and stuff Yeah, you korean or I have eaten korean barbecue. I really like it Um, a lot of meat though a lot of meat Yeah, I can work it out with some stuff because I could do like mainly veggies. Maybe some shrimp type stuff Do you go to this vegetarian restaurant? Hope? No, I don't know hope. Yeah, that's nearby, right? It's one of the best. I think I think hope's pretty good

Yeah, it's one of the best. I think anyway. I don't want to talk about nothing anymore. I don't talk about assholes I don't want to talk about michelin restaurants. I want to wait, but isn't that weird about michelin? But isn't that weird about michelin? Yeah, what? Well, we what? What? Dominic, four more minutes. You're two hours. Okay. I've always just thought this is really fascinating We all grow up. Yeah, once we start being interested in food and stuff with this like Oh, hifalutin idea that like oh, he said hifalutin That's a george kimmel word. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah. The um, it's a white word Let's just say that it is it is. Yeah

That a restaurant is great and and legitimately is great when it's had three michelin stars or two michelin stars or even one Michelin star is a great restaurant. This is a tire company. It's a company. Yeah, that's right. That is true And at some point based on their success of being the biggest tire company in the world They were like, you know what we're going to send frank off around europe and he's going to tell us What restaurants are great and suddenly that became the gold standard Yeah, yeah a bunch of chefs got together and did it or a bunch of culinary experts. This is a tire company Yeah, also their logo is some right marshmallow man. Yeah. Yeah, what is that is that he's made of tires But he is he white? Yeah, he is white. He's pure white. So why how is he a tire if he's white? I don't know

We don't yeah change the fucking thing. I think it's racist. You should be black. You should be a black one. Michelin Yeah, yeah, but I'm the same as you guys. I will you know if I'm sat at home at night and whatever I'm like doing a deep dive into the internet. Yeah, I'll be like, okay The top 15 restaurants that no one knows about in LA that are brilliant Like the unexpected experiences with food in LA because LA alongside like new york has some of the most interesting restaurants I think a lot of the mom and pop Okay I am gonna cut out at least five minutes so we don't reach the two arm off. Oh, I lie in the job

Anyway, um Yeah, but still I anyway Yeah, we had two I went two hours We're we have two more men. Have you guys been to french laundry? You know that I Yeah, well, no, we haven't been we were supposed to fuck you and fuck you and fuck you and fuck you without doing it There are two places that I was supposed to There are two places that I was supposed to take him for his birthday last year

And one was french laundry and the other one was puho in mexico city Yeah, french laundry clothes because of covet for a little bit. Um, I don't think that I got the Uh, like the reservation was like too far out. It was way past his birthday, but then I ended up sending him I I ended up sending him to another place. It was an omacasa place. Um, that um, it's Was supposed to be like a three because he's into the michelin star. I like the michelin star, but he didn't like It was the first place I went I went no not for me, right because sometimes restaurants are like, you know, this particular animal Is very difficult to find so we just cut in half and serve it raw But that's I don't care about like a purple squid and there's only six of them underneath the rock

You want flavor? I want flavor. I want one. I want to know what they're gonna do with truffle, right? Anyway, let's I'm done 30 seconds. I'm fucking really? Are you friendly with patent oswald? Yeah, he's big on Restaurants, right? He went through a whole tear. All right. I got up. I want to say about patent something Yeah, okay. Yeah, lovely patent five seconds five seconds, and I want to apologies. I think he's I think he's mad at me Because he booked me on his Largo show and it didn't show up. Why didn't you show up because I was scared Oh, you didn't give him the heads up and I never gave him the heads up and I heard he was mad at me

So I apologize. I was rude and I you should maybe call him in person. Yeah I want to do it through middlemen. Yeah, which is my fans The healthy way it's healthy and safe. Do you have his number or is it I do I do call him right now I mean, dude, that's a professional engagement, right? If I booked someone in a professional engagement and they didn't show up I would be professional. I'll do your favor. I'll do I'll do something right now I never thought I would ever do it in my life or facetime. No, I'm just gonna tech. I'm gonna do it I'm gonna call him now I mean apologize to someone sincerely. I had bumped into we had seen him here and there every so often

And then I bumped into him in Los Feliz one day with his daughter and I was like, oh, hey, what's up, pan? I was getting frozen yogurt. He was getting the same and we were chatting and then from there We started chatting a little bit on instagram and I heard some podcast that he did where he was saying I've been on this culinary Search for Michelin star restaurants for like five years and I went I flew to vegas to do this thing I flew to san francisco and chicago and all this kind of stuff and I hit him up on instagram and I was like, hey Patton Is there like could you give me like your favorite eight restaurants in la that you worth a that are worth going to see and I've been

Taking them off Okay, so I don't have his number because I did it through he did it through twitter direct message Is that dm? That's dms. Yeah, so I will dm him later. I will make that a week priority to reach out and say I'm sorry to the dm Maybe he'll give me his number then But um, but if not fans go to Right, I'm done. I can't do it anymore. Uh, so but post two hours. This is probably the longest podcast we've ever done In a while. He's um, so good. You're so good at what you do. You have to come you and billy have to come back

Yeah, yeah, we'll come on us. Yeah, and I love um, I have one more question. Okay. I'll rip your eyes out You want that? What are your thoughts on the mantis shrimp? I like the mantis shrimp me too Yeah, I wouldn't want to go too close to it right in a bad mood because it fires like a gun, right? But beautiful colors so pretty animal. You can't keep them in tanks because they'll explode and they're so loud. Yeah Beautiful animal give them a round of applause Wow guys, that was great. I love you guys Hey prime members, you can listen to tiger barely ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast

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