TigerBelly - Ep 344: Yannis Pappas & the Kryptonite Butthole

Episode Date: April 20, 2022

Bobby takes Whitney to No Cancel Culture Island. Yannis says yes to Aquaman. Khalyla is the voice of God. We talk Tom Hanks sex scenes, killing wild boars, deepfake Angela, and Bobby's framed ass in Phoenix. Listening after the sale? You can still save. Visit www.brooklinen.com and use Promo code [tiger] for $20 off your purchase of $100See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today They're just a different vibe about you right now very slim yeah, it's at first I was like is that Tom Hardy, but then I look closer. Yeah, I look good after a breakup Don't I yeah, you're really catching up to the real John Stamos. It's yeah, that's tough Yeah, there's now we're friends and hanging out with him is wild Wait, yeah, I saw I see that. Yeah, so you've been hanging out with Johnny Stamos. Yeah, I call him Jonathan John sir Jonathan Stamos Yeah, sir Jonathan Stamos. He's been knighted. Yeah, so um, how'd you link up with John John? He he started watching my comedy be he and he was like, hey, I love your comedy and then that was it and I was like

Hey, man, I love your face Obviously, yeah, I was like I like that I like who you are and I just need pictures for you on my gram So yeah, that's good. The thing about him is is that he doesn't really age He gets baby blood. Yeah Yeah I've seen him drinking. Yeah. Yeah, he offered me some and I was like, I'm not that's what Jamie Lee Curtis was drinking in Hungary It was like a red thing was baby's baby. Yeah. Yeah, they pretend it's bloody Mary. Yeah, sometimes it is with a bloody Mary mix Let me ask you something. Yes talking about babies. Yeah, I

Are you pregnant about it on the live killed many though Democrat I like that to the left. Yeah, I like to know how many abortions you are to the left when I meet Is that the measure? That's the measure. It's like if you had one, that's not left enough for me Let me tell you honest. I am so democratic. I like that. What are we talking five six? Yeah, yeah, no, I killed two of your fucking babies and I wanted them Yeah, and I wish we lived so foolish. Yeah, you're righty. You're right. Yeah, you're right Yeah, yeah, and you know what dude when I go to heaven. Yeah, and I see my two little babies up there I'm just gonna point

You asked it. Yeah, okay, so Jules my niece told me yeah that um Sandra Bullock has a What do you call it a skincare regimen that she does using the penis of strictly Korean babies? Oh Oh That's not the penis that I'm sorry the foreskin. I shouldn't say a live baby Don't say that. Yeah, we'll do this pick up babies is rub it Yeah Which is I would do it because it's like the baby doesn't know and I would go to Zech Sandra Just let's hear me out. Yeah. Yeah, you come to the fucking nursery at the hospital, right? Rub it

But I want 25 grand. Oh, yeah, the baby wouldn't know and then she's just rubbing the dick on is that that wouldn't feel We would have we'd pawn off our own baby. What do you think? Yeah, we could have been rich if I kept the babies Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you could have. Yeah, I would tonight's better than only fans Yeah, so I wanted to ask you guys why you think specifically Korean babies. It's something about a scientist But yeah, I mean I'm not a scientist either Yeah, yeah, um, yeah, that's a good question. Why I don't think there's a good reason I think that this well, I don't like isn't true. Yeah Well, what what I do is when I sometimes I'll take my finger hand. Yeah, I'll rub my penis like it's a clit

Uh-huh, right and then I put it on my face. It does see the wrinkles away So I think I have there's something down there and that's why he has pussy all day Maybe that's why like Asians look so or Koreans specifically look so young for so long just you just gave away our secret Yeah, yeah, and I love that. I see you now because I just was staring at your ass for a long time when I was just I was in Phoenix at the house of comedy and there's just a big picture of you with your pants down That's you know, it's fucked up about that. Yeah, I've never played that room. You've never they just put you up And then they have a naked photo of me in their club. They do they've been naked photo of you the club You have like a little tattoo on your ass, right? Yeah, you want to see it lie? Yeah. Well, no, I don't I didn't ask Jesus Christ

It's good that it's smooth. It's smooth. Yeah, cuz he rubs I just want you to let you know it was me in the photo not Ronnie Chang. No, I no I knew it was you. Yeah, yeah, I and I so I drew a dick into it in the club So there's like a subway dick going in your ass if and I put little sprinkle cums on your face. I Didn't do it. Yeah, I don't know if I'm gonna be invited back there, but it is it's funny Is it Rick Bronson's room? It's Rick Bronson. Yeah, I think that's why because Tammy and Rick are friends of mine. Yeah, and maybe because I've never played that room if you Oh, let me ask you this. Yeah, if you were trying to get into a club and they're like no

No, right and for years and years, but then you found out that your photo is in the club Just you know on a frame. Yeah, would that make you mad? Yeah, it would make me mad and I'd be like I want a hundred percent of the door And I want a little cut of everyone else's weekend Yeah, or you could sue yeah, give them permission. Yeah, that would infuriate me as well, you know I'm gonna. It's also not a flattering photo mine. Yeah, what do you mean? I mean, it's like you with your hands down like this and like it's your ass Yeah, I mean like everyone else is holding a mic doing a job. You look like you just got finished being raped

It's funny I remember that the photo was taken I was getting raped That was taken by the police I was demonstrating how it works, but um Wow, so do you think I should call Rick and go take that photo don't put another yeah I mean like I have plenty of other shots you can choose from from the one I just had a funny you guys talk about rape. How does a rape? It's always funny when you talk about rape You know how they do a rape kit for women

When you go in and they have a protocol for women who get raped how they find out if she has what's the rape kit? Protocol for men. I know what it is. We've been raped. I know what it is. What is it? Yeah, you don't admit it. That's the that's right Yeah, it never happened Like if I was raped by another dude, you mean yeah, no one knows So if you go to let's say let's suppose you wanted to report it, right? I would go to the hospital. No guy would report would you report it? Absolutely not Yeah, I just it was if it was a 30-man gang rape. I might brag about that That's impressive. Look my ass was still intact

Look at it healed. Yeah, yeah, 30. That's something to talk about. That's a story But if one guy just you know overpowers you and rapes you I think you just take that to the grave Yeah, I think that's why the Catholic Church was able to get away with it for so long All boys they were all boys who grew up to be men. You don't talk about it boys to men Yeah, you just you bury you you would I would bury that yeah, yeah now Um, it depends though if it was like a celebrity. Yeah, like if it was like, uh, oh Let's see Rob Pattinson Arnold Schwarzenegger Wait, let's see someone on the rise who they raped you before they were big and then you saw them all of a sudden

They have a if Robert Pattinson raped me. Yeah, I would kill myself. Wait, who's Robert Batman new Batman Oh, the new Batman new Batman. Oh, yeah, I love that. If I allowed him to do that Yeah, I just feel like I could be able to defend you know, I mean you could fight again Yeah, Batman. Yeah, I'm not Batman not the not the fictional character. I'm just gonna get him as Batman would have Batman. I tried to fuck you. Oh, you're you're a good. He has all the equipment You know, he has the belt you the ropes. You know me you're you're on a build your upside down You know, I mean he flies up there. He fucks. There's nothing you could do about that You know, yeah, yeah, there's no way but

Thanks Superman. No way you're fucked. Oh, yeah unless no, you know what I would have what if I knew it was I would have a kryptonite anal bead in my butthole that is why He's enough smart that is very right. He's like I would let him enter. Yeah, right and then he would just die Yeah, where you're dick was I hit dick would dissolve his penis. Yeah, it was just like it would turn to ash in my butthole Maybe that's the rape What kryptonite kryptonite we got to get our they have to be from Krypton, babe. Yeah, what are the odds not easy? Yeah, not easy get your hands on that

Let me tell you why that's brilliant because I showed him the kryptonite too early. He would overpower you take it out of your hand Right, but if you hide it in your ass And it doesn't affect humans. Yeah, because Lex Luthor handle that very clearly without any hazmat suit or whatever, right? Right, right. It doesn't harm us, right? It fucks them up, right? So yeah, you would hide it in your butthole Let's let's go get down this angle, right of superheroes what we would do. Yeah, if superheroes were after us, right? Yeah, yeah um, Aquaman Aquaman you you stay away from the water. He's got no power on land, right? Yeah, yeah, he's pretty strong pretty strong. Yeah Aquaman. Yeah, wouldn't you just let Jason Momoa fuck you? Yes. Oh Yeah, that's a good point. Yes, I would yeah. Yeah, wouldn't you let him fuck you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd let him fuck us. Yeah, I would yes if I knew he was coming I would invite Lisa Bonnet to to watch yes, I would and she would cry, you know, I mean, you know ocean tears Yeah, yeah, yeah, um the Aquaman we would get fucked. All right, so Superman. We know how to defend it again Wait, are we together on this? Yeah, give me the double because you say we I mean if it's two of us we got a better chance to fend off Aquaman All right, the flag. Yeah, we wouldn't even know what happened. The flash Did you hear that noise and then you'd be like why are pants down? Why is there come out of your butt? Yeah, it would happen like this. We're just watching playing play say whatever watching

We're watching something, right? And you're right and our pants would be down. We'd look at you go. What happened? Butthole burns about yours I guess that would be the best superhero to get raped by because you kind of wouldn't know You would never know that no memory of it is too fast. Yeah. Yeah, like the door is open like papers flying in the air Right, right. There's like there's a trail of calm. Yeah, I mean, oh my god. That would be terrible. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, yeah, let's go to like like I think the DC universe. Let's try Marvel universe. Yeah, Marvel universe. That's a lot Yeah, that's a lot right. Let's go with Hulk. Well, hope is easy Hope is easy because you would you banner don't get him to don't get him angry

Don't get him ain't right. Maybe you don't resist at all because it would rather be because if David Banner was trying to rape you Bruce Banner Bruce Bruce Banner. Sorry. Yeah, I'm not a kid But yeah, you just want to you want to let David Banner rape you So actually David Banner will be able to rape you right because you would yeah You would have to allow him to rape you but just don't like don't clinch your butthole No, like if you if he's dick is beside you and you and you resist right it might hurt get him angry Yeah, and then look he turns in the Hulk you'll implode. Yeah, I don't think you can survive that Mark Ruffalo you can that's a good yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but when he turns green bad and he's nine foot nine

Whatever the hot hot hot. His dick's probably so big. It would turn your irises green like your eyes would Oh Scientifically you could not survive that way. Yeah. Yeah, but we would look like the Hulk, but like we wouldn't grow Would like illuminate you green. Yeah. Yes, if he was inside. Yes, and it's funny is this like and then when he would turn back into Bruce Banner, right? He his piece would have residue of us like our flesh. Yeah, because we Would One pump from the Hulk and I think you just explode. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go back, please

It's a very delicate situation getting rid of you. Yeah Choose your words very carefully when you David Banner is raping. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so I feel like Captain America We could type talk out of it. He's so noble. Yes. Yeah, you come in with a shield, right? Yeah You know me and he's like Soldier, I don't know what he says Pull your pants out. I don't know what it you're right. Yeah, and I feel like I could be hey Hey, let's just think about this. You're Captain America man. I donated to the troops. I support the troops. Yeah Yeah, gotta say all American things. Right. All right. You start singing like the national anthem. I think you're good

Yeah, yeah, that's easy do this. Yeah, do one of these, right? You're right And then I would probably you probably lie. I served in some sort of I was in Desert Storm Yeah, well, my dad actually was in the Korean War in real life in real life. Yeah, so I would just say hey my dad served Yeah, yeah, and then but then you would have to hang out with him. I believe yeah, it's fine. I hang out with It's like hanging out with a Republican Well, you're making this something you think I feel like Captain America is a Republican without a doubt if anyone anyone named Captain America Yeah, yeah, I feel like he goes to like you know the voting booth with Spider-Man everyone and you're gonna vote for Biden, right? He's like, yeah, yeah, of course and then he goes in there. It's a fucking Trump

What an asshole. Yeah. All right, so Spider-Man, Spider-Man. He lives in Austin now. Yeah. Well, like Let me ask you something. Yeah, Spider-Man's a teenager, right? There's also a college version, right? But in general, he's a kid. He's a kid, right? And if he raped you, would you, could you get in trouble because he's underage or no? I don't know the law. I don't know the law. I don't know the law. That's a good question. Yeah, it's a good question. Dude, you really have thought this out. There's no way this is Riff. You really, I feel like even before you went to sleep one night, you thought about every Because I mean, who would think of those details at the time? Yeah, yeah, I mean, what is his age? Yeah, why do you have a branch on your head?

He do have a branch on you. Yeah, he might have got raped by the flash outside. He just doesn't know. I heard it goes to win, so I don't know. So let me ask you, so let's live out it legal-wise, right? Yeah, Spider-Man goes, hey, I'm Peter Parker. And I'm like, oh shit, it is I'm gonna rape you. Yeah, right. And he You know what I mean? And against the wall or your hands, right? You're like a fly. Yeah, right. My pants, he throws it down with his webs, right, right? He penetrates you, right? And then do you go to the police and go, hey, what is the law? Because I'm pretty sure I groomed him. I don't know. I'm the victim here, but I think maybe he's more. Yeah. Yeah, what is that law?

Yeah, you can't, can you get raped by a younger person? Yeah, that's an interesting question. That's an interesting question. Yeah, if you're a six-year-old man and a 15-year-old boy, rapes you. Rates you. Yeah, what is that? Are you the pedophile? Forget Spider-Man, we're getting into the territory. We don't know the law. We just don't know the law. Yeah, we don't know the law. Yeah, I feel like Wolverine. Oh, dangerous. It's just Wolverine, yeah. It's gonna happen. Yeah. And there's nothing you can do about it. No, no. Because even if you shoot him, it heals. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, no, right? Right? Yeah. Even if you like, clench your butt and you try to rip his dick out, it'll grow another one. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. You're in trouble. Wolverine's a tough one. Do wolves have some sort of kryptonite though? Is there something he... Well, there's two versions of Wolverine.

There's Deadpool. What do you mean? I said there's two versions. Yeah, yeah. One of the versions of Wolverine isn't Deadpool. No. That would be weird. I was thinking to have sex with Deadpool. We'll get the Deadpool next. Yeah, and then I want to know which ones you want to fuck more. Yeah, yeah. Let's go into that, right? You're like, whichever one Jason Momoa puts on. He plays Deadpool too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, when Guy gets raped, it's all good. Yeah. That's right. Yeah, it's like your dad just goes, walk it off. Rub some dirt on it. Yeah. Is that why you stuck your dick in the soil? Oh, the earth. Rub some dirt on it. He fucked the earth. Did you really? Well, when I was a kid, I dug a hole in the earth and I had made love to the earth, but I felt like it was more of a spiritual thing. Were you sober when you did that? No, I was, yeah, I was a kid, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? Well, because it's a non-soap thing to do. Oh, yeah. So you're implying that Charles Bacowski just did it all the time? I just, I mean, you know, that's just a wild decision to make. Like, usually you do that on shrooms or something, feeling low with the earth, start making out with the ground, and then you dug a hole, you actually took the time to dig a hole? How big was the hole?

Well, I was 12, so just a little tiny hole. Yeah, yeah. Did you glue it up or you just went in, because that's gonna... Dude, it's dirt. Dirt is. If you did that in LA, that's dry soil. Well, I lived in the suburbs. It was soft soil. It was soft soil. I had a question for you guys. What age did you know for sure your dick stopped growing? That's a good question. That's a really good question. That's a great question today, yeah. That is. That is a great question. Let me think. So when did I go? Is that it, buddy? Yeah, yeah. Because when I was a teenager and I was having, when I was 16, my boyfriend was 16. I looked at his penis and I was like, oh, I wonder what it'll look like when he's 30, because I thought maybe it still had time to grow. So, you know, there's that curiosity when you're younger and having sex as a teen, or is that his max? When did you have that thought? Like when it was in your hand or... Yeah, I remember thinking it was like slightly on the skinny side, but had potential for like more birth.

And it was just like what you were thinking while it was there. You just like had a moment where you're like, I wonder when this thing... Yes, exactly, exactly that. You know what? It sucks that it's like you weren't even into the actual moment of it. If he had any idea you were thinking about other things in that way, it would have been really hurtful. I was a sexually broken child. I never used sex for pleasure. I was never in the moment. I used it for like all the wrong reasons. But when did you know for sure you did stop growing? When my body stopped growing. I don't think they're connected in that way, right? Yeah, it's like if I'm five, four for like a while and my feet started growing exponentially, right?

I would go to the hospital. I think there's something wrong. My feet are 16 feet, you know what I mean? But my body is five, four now and it keeps growing, right? But you know there technically I think, not technically, I think it is true, your ears and nose continue to grow. Correct. What? Yeah, you didn't know that? No, ears and nose continue to grow. They never stopped growing, which is like that would be nice if it was this, but it's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well Gilbert, there's Google. I'm looking up right now. There's a lot of penises in one second. But that is a true fact, yeah. I did not know that. So theoretically, your penis could be still growing. I'm going to say this on the record. Mine had stopped a long time ago. Yeah. How about yours? Mine has stopped.

There we go. Eight to nine, they began to grow. The most rapid growth happens between 11 and 15. And then right here, that means for most, the penis is fully grown between the ages of 18 and 21. That's nice, right in the legal range. Yeah. It's convenient. I wonder if the laws are based on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there was a chance that 16-year-old boys, dick in my mouth, is bigger today.

Right. Should we call them up? But it's not going to be, I don't think, like, if he's got a five-foot, five-inch, or five-foot, not five-inch penis. If you were still thinking about the Hulk. Yeah. The Hulk would probably have a five-foot penis when his would like, yeah. Yeah.

That would just go from like five to seven inches. Yeah. Like, oh, yeah. To huge, right. Yeah. If you stop growing taller, your penises likely stop growing more. That's my theory. You are a scientist.

You are a scientist. I have a scientific mind sometimes. I wonder if there's like superhero porn. You know, there's like deepfakes for everything. Yeah. Have you guys ever seen the deepfakes? Yeah. I wonder if they have like the Hulk deepfake, where they throw the Hulk on.

Stop looking at me to search that. You've already searched it. So what you're saying is not animated, right? It's not animated. They do it, the crazy stuff they can do now. Right. Right. Like, you could jerk off to AOC.

If you want to jerk off to AOC, it's there. Yeah. And it looks like her. There might even be a deepfake of you. Right. I love putting it in just seeing if it's there. So RBG, there's probably, is that RBG? Yeah.

There could be one. Yeah. Yeah. There could be one. There's definitely, there's like a Michelle Obama. There's all, there's Nancy Pelosi. They're fun. There's a Nancy Pelosi.

There's usually, whatever I have a curiosity. Yeah. And I check it out. Yeah. There's usually one. Yeah. There's usually a deepfake that provides. Oh, is it?

So basically what they do then is they hire obviously a body type. A body type. Yeah. Right. Is there a green screen on their face or no? Dude, it is. It's so realistic. It's scary.

You won't, you can't tell what's real in the future. We're not going to be able to know. But do they use like a 22 year old body and then you put Nancy Pelosi's face on it? That I could jerk off to. I think that's what they did with that one. If I remember correctly. I would want the. She does have great.

Nancy Pelosi is huge. Now she didn't realize. She really does in real life. She has huge debts. Oh, I did not know that. Yeah. Yeah. She's, she got COVID.

Let's pray for her. Yeah. That's interesting. So they have deep fake. Is there a website or what do you do? Yeah. It's called Mr. Deep Fix. No, but for like the porn.

Yeah. Do I go to pornhub and go deep fake Tom Cruise? Yeah. Or you just go to Google and deepfakes. Deepfakes Tom Cruise is probably one. But porn porn. Yeah. Oh, they know.

No, the internet knows when you say deepfakes, you know, they know. Oh, they don't. Oh, no. Yeah. Cause there is some deepfakes. Yeah. You want to go like deepfakes, Tom Hanks, dicks. Oh, Tom Hanks.

Tom Hanks. Yeah. Or whatever. Tom Cruise, whatever. Has Tom Hanks ever been in a sex scene? Yeah. You don't really affiliate him with a sex scene, do you? Yeah.

But I have a theory. Yeah. There are, there is movies where you know he did have sex. What do you mean? Yes. Yes. What movie? Well, obviously in Forrest Gump, he had sex with Jenny.

Yeah. Philadelphia. Yeah. There it is. Implied. There. Right. Yes.

You don't get it. Yeah. It's not like COVID, right? Like, you know what I mean? It's like something else. It's not airborne. Right. Right.

Yeah. Or he could have been a heroin user. He could. That too. Is that what you're going to say? I'm going to say big. Was it like a real sex scene? No, that's the weird one.

Because that's the one where he gets older. Yes. Big is when, no, no, big is when he becomes a kid, right? Yeah. No, the kid becomes an adult. Yeah. Oh, that must have been nice. Because he went, like we now know, it grows 18 to 21.

So when he became a man, he was probably like. Really happy. He's probably psyched about that. Yeah. A little bit bigger. So let me ask you something about big. Do you have a mic or no? Because I want to be able to hear you.

All right. So I can hear you from here. Okay. Did you just come from a tennis match? It's like a ball boy from the Wimbledon. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know your mom loves tennis players.

Are you pretending to be Jim Courier? Every time you're here, my mom is here. She's not here all the time. Well, just tell her, just tell her Pete Sampson. Wait, should we tell her Pete Sampson? I mean, dude, you look like he just came from the courts. So, so in big, I don't remember. So he, I remember he goes to a, he's at a boardwalk and he sees a fortune teller machine.

Right. Right. One of those animatronic ones, right? Right. And he turns into an adult, but he still is the kid inside, right? So in big, where does he fuck? He meets a girl and fucks her. But did they show that scene?

No. But see, that's what I'm saying. How do they imply it? I forget, but it was a big memory as a kid. Like, oh, I wish I could get big and do that. My question though is, you know, you have a leading man as big as Tom Hanks, but we've never really seen him in like, like a explicit sex scene, making out with a woman. Do you think he fucked Wilson in that movie?

Oh, that's the theory. Like just mouth fucked Wilson? Well, if you notice the ball becomes like a little bit deflated, which means there's a hole. There's got to be a hole in there. There's got to be a hole. I would have, I would assume. Yeah.

If I was on an island alone, I would fuck. What are things on an island that you think would make for a good pocket island pocket pussies? Well, not the ground. That's for sure. I was experimenting, but let us move on. Wait, there's very, very rich clay on like tropical islands. Yeah.

You might be able to use the very rich clay. You might be wrong on it. This is some of the funniest kind of like. This is a wild one. This is a wild one. It's wild. It's wild. Yeah, yeah.

No, let's figure it out. Let's figure it out. I gotta figure it out. There's people depending on us. All right, so let me think about a deserted island. Let's follow it through intellectually. Okay. Yeah.

We don't involve Yannis. Yeah. All right. But in this scenario, Yannis, right, we don't fuck. Okay. All right. Okay. So Yannis and I are on a cruise.

Okay. Right. You guys are devout Christians. Oh, there's another layer. There's another layer. Okay. We're on a mission. How about we're Mormons?

Instead, we save money by taking your cruise to get to Europe or whatever. Right. Okay. And we're on a mission. Okay. The boat sinks like the Titanic. Oh, boy. We're on a mission to wake up on an island.

Okay. Right? Like the blue lagoon. Yeah. Like the blue lagoon. There's debris, obviously. I'm fucking you. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. Okay. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. Sir, no, no.

that shelter, right, and food and being saved are up there. I don't think coming is on that. Well, we're on day 88. All right, so that's why I'm thinking this through. So, first, you and I build a shelter, right? Right. A week. Wait, are you building, is it hot out?

Is this a hot island? Yeah, but we still at night. No, that's an important question. Why? Because if it's a hot island, that means you take your shirt off, because you're hot, and that means you start glistening a little bit,

and you're Asian, so it's hairless, so I get a little horny, and I fuck you. Right, right, right. Okay, so, all right, so. Every time we try to build a house, I just fuck you, and then we never get the shelter done. But you think that that urge would be in week one? That you, I think-

You said we're religiously devout, so that means I'm pent up. I know, but you're not gay in this scenario, are you? But no, but you glistening. I am glistening. Right, you're right, right. I mean, so, when I'm building the shelter, right, you would, but in this,

that's why I put the clause, so let's put the clause, we're not fucking, okay? Okay, okay, okay. So, who do you think would be able to come up with fire? Because I wouldn't be able to do it. You think I'd be able to come up with fire? With theoretical, do you know how it works? I don't even know how, no, I don't know.

Do we have a lighter? No, there's no lighter. No, we have to actually figure it, we're dead, dude. We're not gonna make it. Right, but we know- Will we just rub sticks together? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we would rub sticks. I think in this scenario,

I think every scenario we think of, there's no way we're not gonna fuck, even though we took a cover and not to fuck, we're just gonna try to make fire, and then we're gonna go, dude, we don't know- Well, you say sticks, you mean our dicks? Yeah, we're a dick. But even if we're trying- We're trying to fight it with our dicks, yeah.

We're trying to make fire, and then we're both gonna go like, hey, man, we don't know how to do this. Yeah, we're gonna die. We're gonna die, so we might as well fuck. So we can at least die a little happy, yeah? Right, right, right, right. Okay, so, all right, let's put the clause back in.

Are there animals on the, can we hunt? All right, so there we go, right, because that could be- Wait a second, you're saying you can't make a fire, but you can hunt? Well- Those are theoretically, they're different things. They're different things, theoretically. Because I don't know what sparks.

Yeah. I don't know what flint looks like. Wait, dry, dry things, and you can magnify it. Like, if you find anything that might resemble a magnifying glass. Yeah, but we don't know that on the- Use the sun, use the heart of a smoke. If you were there, that's one thing,

but we don't know that. Right, right. Yeah, you just tipped us off, but you're not there. Yeah, you're not there. We have to just put, we, that's not admissible, right? Yeah. It's not admissible in this story, because that would have helped us,

and we didn't know that. We didn't know that. Yeah, so, all right, but hunting, I feel like we wouldn't know how to do that. We have to kill it. We're guys. Yeah, we're guys. We have to kill it.

Now, we would have to eat it shashimi-style because there's no fire. Which would be a lot easier for you than me. That's right. That's true. That's true. The belly is the tastiest part? Yeah.

It's like, yeah, yeah, all right. It's like hamachi. Yeah. All right, all right, so. But we could chase down in that. There's no way we'd be able to do it. You don't think so? Boars are number one aggressive.

We've proven so far in this episode, we're smart. In what way? I'm just saying, we're thinking everything out. Right, we're thinking it through. So we could basically, I think, we have a good chance of figuring out how to trap an animal. So how would you do it?

I have my theories, and let's be real about it. Okay. So what would you do? Okay. We hear Wild Boards inland, right? We have no fire. The shelter's not finished because you fucked me while we were building it.

Right, right, right, right, so that's built, right? It's half built. It's half built, it took a while for you to swag, yeah. We got some foundation down with some bamboo. So they have some bamboo foundation down. Okay. And then obviously there's an argument like, why'd you fuck me while, you know what I mean?

Giannis? Yeah. And then you were like, but you were into it. I know, but you know. Anyway, that argument, we're done with that argument. Yeah. You forgive me because we're devout Christians. We're devoutly religious, so you forgive me.

I forgive you. And I say, I'm sorry. We did a prayer. We pray together. Yeah, afterwards. Yes, we pray, yeah. And then we gotta go, we gotta stop praying, we're wasting time, we're hungry, we gotta live.

Yeah, right, so what do we do? And then, so what's your plan? We hear the Boards. We hear the Boards. What's your plan? I go, okay, now we gotta eat, dude. No shit. Yeah, you go, no shit.

And I go, let's go. Mistake. But you're not there. You're not there, man. You're not there. Stop helping us. Stop helping us. But maybe that sounds like something

that would go into my head. Gallow's voice? Yeah. You know how dangerous wild boars are? We don't know this. Okay. All right, so. Yeah, you're telling us.

We don't know this. But you hear my voice and you know. Right, right, right, right, right. No, but we're hungry, we're desperate. We're desperate, so what would you do, man? I would say, okay, we need a gun. What? So we would look for the debris.

For a gun. For any kind of gun. First thing, we don't find one. We don't, okay. Right, so what's your second thing? Oh, it was a completely democratic shipwrap. Nobody's packing. Nobody just concealed counts.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. So obviously we left from like Portland or New York State or something. Yeah. Okay, that sucks. Yeah, that sucks. Yeah, no guns.

But we still look for the, through, for some Swiss army knives or something. No, here's my. We need a weapon, dude. No, no. We can't do it with bare hands. Right? I would go, let's dig a hole.

And fuck it. Not to fuck it. Okay. Keep going, keep going, keep going. Let's dig a hole. Not to fuck, not to fuck. Yeah. No, no, no.

Not a little hole, right? Right. A deep hole, and we put, like, we'll take spikes, put it on the thing, then put, you know what I mean? Like debris on top of it, right? Right. Set a trap. Yeah, we find it, set a trap.

And we do a bunch of them, right? Yeah. And we find out where their trails are. Wait, but listen. Set trails. Yes, but this is what you're not taking into account. What? We haven't eaten.

We also fucked. We've spent a lot of energy. Oh, right. We haven't eaten. We haven't drank anything. How many holes could we conceivably dig? One. One.

Half of it. Yeah, we're tired. Now we're like. But the nuts. Not me nutting inside you, right? No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, did I, we could drink that for protein.

No, that's a thing. That's a thing. Protein in there. Shit. So that's what, and then you, I would probably propose that to you, because I just thought of it. So nature smoothie.

So I said, yeah. I go, look, Bobby, we're like, we need to dig more holes. You got a great idea. We've dug one, but now we're really tired. No, dude. We need protein. You're not going to convince me, dude.

Dude, we need protein. I think it's only like nine calories, Matt. Nine calories is better than zero calories. Zero. Yeah. And we're. That's true. Yeah.

That's a little energy. Yeah. Are we Catholic? Yeah. What kind of religion are we? Mormon, right? Oh, we're Mormon. Yeah, yeah.

I feel like this is going to happen. Right. You're going to convince me, like, dude, come, right? Yeah. So I suck your dick, right? Yeah. You come in my mouth.

Yeah. I swallow it. Yeah. And then you laugh, right? Yeah. Right. And then I don't get my dick sucked. But why?

Right, because I feel like it's a, like in my mind. Oh, it's a trick. Like a prank, a prank. Like a prank. Dude, I actually got pranked. Honestly, dude, right? And I'm like, all right, are you sure?

So I'm sucking your dick, right? I come, I swallow it. And you're like, like, actually I feel fine, I got plenty of energy. I'm just like. And that would like, that would be like, that would be fucked up, dude. That would be so mad.

Yeah. You have a question. Yeah. Depending on who's, let's say you come. Yeah. Let's say you come. Are you going to split your come for half for Yanis and half for you?

No, because you, Oh, that's interesting. So what, so Yanis comes in my mouth. You have to, I suck half of it. Yeah. And I would say, open my mouth. What is this weird porn on an island with you?

This is not porn, dude. This is survival. This is survival, dude. This is fucking survival. Yeah. It's past away shit, dude. You can't put the mores of the social norms of a regular scenario on survival.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not doing this for pleasure. He's got to share some of the company. Yeah, this isn't saying. Yeah. It's the wildest thing. Right, right, right. Right, because she makes a good point

because I already fucked you. So I don't have that much come left. Right. Well, you're assuming that this happens two hours after we had sex building the house. We need to eat. Maybe you need to suck it back out of his butt to come. Oh, that's a good theory.

Yeah, that makes sense. That's a good theory. I remember I go, oh wait, there's some in your ass. Oh, it was fermenting with a little kimchi. It was fermenting, but there's protein in there, dude, it's survival. Right, so let me just shit it back into your mouth. Yeah.

That way, I don't know. I honestly believe that this in real life, it would just be, we're jumping the gun here, man. I feel like this is six months in, and we're doing this within the week. I can't wait. This is hour six. I can't wait.

Do you cut to a sponsor in the middle of this? So I eat to come out of your ass. Hey guys. Better help. Okay, so the bore thing, so you're saying that the bore thing, I would dig the hole, spikes. You think we could only make one

because of the energy level. Even the come smoothies, right? Don't really do it, right? It gives us a little bit. A little bit. I don't think that that would work. I think we would die. Well, don't give them so easy.

All right. Don't give them so easy. All right, so but you're saying that you don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. You didn't come up with a trap. Can you think of a trap? Yeah, trap.

Yeah, we'd probably have to use one of us as bait for the animal. Right. To like, maybe like, I don't know how you do that, but like we go and we do a dance or we call it, or we try to make a noise like another animal. What do wild boars like to eat? Yeah.

What is that? We don't have Google, so then we're in trouble. You were in trouble. We're in trouble, because we got a gas. What about this? So we've got Rambo too. Okay. You see Rambo too?

I did a long time ago, but that's good for research. In Rambo too, right? He had put himself onto a cliff, do you remember? He put mud on him and he disguised him as a part of the wall of a cliff. And then when somebody came out, you know what I mean? He, you know what I mean?

But then I would probably be stuck there for a while. You would jump on it? No, but what was the point of that? Why would that do? Yeah, what does that do? Yeah, what does that do for the boar? Where you jump? A boar would run by.

You would jump on it? You would jump on it. Then you just ride the boar. Are you going to do strangle it? Yeah, I would jump it. You know, I'm a small guy. I'd probably ride it for a while, right? Maybe throw out a hee-haw.

Yeah. Why not? But hee-haw. And then you're yelling at me. What the fuck? Right? Yeah, and you'd be like, I don't know, kill it. I'd try to kick it or something.

Right, right. You know, I just thought, I just- Rocks, rocks! Dude, we got rocks. What do you mean rocks? Pick up a rock and try to hit it. I just thought of that. Yeah, yeah.

We got rocks. Like islands have rocks, right? So that's the hard thing we have. So there's no, there's no knives. There's nobody has anything in the debris. Then I have the bright idea. I say, Bobby, rocks. Pick up some rocks.

Right, let me, can I just ask you this one quick? I just thought of something. When we're doing the smoothie thing, right? That's a real nice thing. What would happen if, while we're doing the smoothie thing, you hear a click, right? And then you see tourists. And then we just realized that there's a resort.

We're actually just, we're in Puerto Rico. We're in Puerto Rico. It's like, oh, this island is in Puerto Rico. Yeah, this is- Yeah. What would we do then? Because we're both comedians, right? Would we attack them to get the kid to footage?

Yeah. Because we would be roasted. Yeah. Our careers, we could go, I couldn't show up at the store. You couldn't show up at the cellar, right? That shit would go viral, right? And I'm sucking your dick, right?

In Puerto Rico, right? And you can't explain. We're trying to make come smoothies, right? So what would you, we would attack them? We would have to attack them, yeah. We would have to attack them. We would have to kill them. Yeah.

We would have to kill them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I assume that's after we realized that they, that they were tourists and not like a tribe that, you know- Oh, a cannibal tribe. Yeah. But why would they have a camera? At this point, we're delirious.

We got sun hitting, like we're in the sun. Right, right, right. To hydrate it. To hydrate it, yeah. We could be seeing something different. That's our excuse. That's our excuse for attacking them. Exactly.

We thought that they were mirages. Right. There's proof that the boat sang. Right, yeah. But then they were like, no, you guys just jumped off the boat. Yeah. The boat was fine. Yeah.

Then you blew him. Yeah. Then you blew him in Puerto Rico. So what's the, yeah. What's the story? No. So the boat sang and we would just say, the boat sang, we thought we were on a deserted island.

And they're like, what do you mean? There's resorts everywhere. Yeah. All right, listen, I just wanted to make them blow me. This whole thing was to trick them into blowing me. Yeah. All right, so let's go. Now we're not in Puerto Rico.

Let's go back to the deserted island. All right. My original question is, what would you use without fucking each other? It's too late because here's a bear. We were taking away our major weaponry. We went too far, babe. Because even with the claws, this fuck face, right, insisted that we fucked.

Yeah. It's just, you know, when you're Greek, you just, it's just, you want to find a way. It's like, I'm not gay, but if I went to prison, it would come quite naturally. Right, right. But you know, it would be interesting to, that'd be cool though.

Let's put a third component in there. OK. Right. And have somebody like an Arnold Schwarzenegger or a survivalist, right? Well, I don't know if he's, he's an actor. I don't know if he's quite a survivalist. But you don't think that through the movies, just hear me out.

Joe Rogan probably, he knows how to hunt. So Joe Rogan. Yeah, but you know what? It would be miserable. What? If Rogan, if you, me and Rogan were on an island together. Oh, because then he'd be tough. He's the alpha male.

We, you and I are doing his bidding. Yeah. We would have to kill him. Yeah. And he would probably just be trying to tell us to move to Austin. Yeah. That would get annoying. I'll tell you, man.

You know what I mean? There's a lot of states out there now. You know what I mean? And we're like, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck Hollywood. Why are you guys acting anyway? You know what I mean?

Yeah, that whole fucking thing. Oh my God. It would be, you know what I mean? It would be, I think it would be a miserable experience. Yeah. Who would be a comic that would be our third wheel? That would be a pleasant experience. Not a male.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Whitney? Yeah. Whitney would be fun. Whitney Cummings? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

She may be good in emergencies. I think she would. She breaks up dogfights all the time. Yeah, yeah. She puts her body on the line. She's very unafraid. She's very unafraid. She goes right in there.

And plus it's someone we could fucking it. I know. This is an interesting thing. Who do you think she would fuck first? Eventually, like three years in, she would eventually fuck one of us. Right. Who do you think she would?

Maybe one of the animals. She fucks the boar. She loves animals. She said walking down there to be two of the boar. He's falling his head, you know? I think she's such an out of the lumber she might fuck one of the animals first. For, right.

Which could help us because that could get an animal close enough we could hit it with a rock. Right. She'd get mad at us, but she doesn't. Yeah. We'd just say, shut up. You killed Tommy. You killed Tommy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. An animal, I was trying to save it. Yeah. And I fuck it. Yeah, yeah. Love it. We would definitely kill her animal lover. We would definitely.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she would definitely fuck an animal between you before me or you. Yeah, 100%. I also believe at some point we would have, we would be separated. Like she would live on one side of the island. She would, like, there would be a fight.

Oh, because we're religious and we're like women. Oh, we would totally be sexist, dude. If we were with, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, yeah. You think sexism would come into play? Well, because nobody would judge you. There's no cancel culture.

Oh, that, oh, that's right. We could say what we really want. Just tell women like, look, we've been pretending, but you're not strong. Those karate movies aren't real. Yeah, women are funny. Yeah, you're not funny. And you don't deserve the same pay as a man

because your brain is smaller. Right. But then we would just say the truth, finally. Right, yeah. Unless she had a little bit of energy on her iPhone and she paid for it. But there's a Wi-Fi. Right.

Yeah, how would she send it? Well, eventually, when you get rescued, she has that on her voice note. Right. And I would have just, if I knew she was, that phone would be destroyed. Right. Yeah, you would have smashed the pieces.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm not even kidding. Are we on the Resort Island now? Or are people watching you guys do all this? Yeah, where are we now? Or is this a different island? Right, the Resort Island.

Yeah, because Resort Island, she'll have at least one bar. She's really into hotel slides, like slides. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'd probably sneak off. And I know you'd be on those slides immediately. You'd leave him in the dust. Oh, so what you're saying to me is this. If I realized that there were resorts next to him,

and I wouldn't tell him, and late at night, I would sneak out and go on a ride. Yeah, you love slides. Slides, and then just come back. Why are you wet? Oh, I just took a swim in the ocean. What the fuck are you talking about? Also, also, you'd stick your dick in those jacuzzi things.

You're into that. Well, so would I. Yeah, yeah. In all fairness, if those were there, I would too. Have you ever like, I like putting my ass on the jacuzzi. I've done that many times. I've done that for, and I'm not, I just curious. And it does feel good.

It feels great. It does feel good. But have you had your penis, like when the water's jetting out, have you rubbed your penis against it? No, I haven't. It feels so good. No, I haven't tried that one. Because in my, you know, I told you this story about when

my parents, in their master bedroom, they had a bathtub, and the faucet was super strong. It just came out like, shh, like it was crazy, right? And I would get a rag. Put his legs up. And when my parents were at work, I would stick my penis against it, right? And the water flow would make me come.

Oh, wow. Really? Yeah. And then one day after I came, I hear, and I turned around and my dad was there. Oh, man. And we never talked about it. Wow.

Dude, I had a moment like that with my dad. Let me tell me. Yeah. This is a true story. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know why. When I was young, I got into this phase where I was putting my mom's stockings on.

Naturally. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah. I think that's a normal thing. It never did it. Yeah. I never did that. No, because you always see young boys like putting their

mom's high heels on. Like it's something that I always see in kids. Never done that. But it like turned me on a little bit. Yeah. I went through a phase where I was fetishizing stockings and smelling them. I'd like, I would get hard when I would hold them.

And eventually I just put them on. Yeah. And yeah. And then back then when I, you know, I was born in 1870. So it was like, that was back when you had to have the porno mags. Oh, right. And I would set up, you'd set up like four of them.

And then kind of, you'd make it into a moving picture yourself. Like flip pages. Right. But you'd do it with your eyes. Yeah, with your eyes. That's great. You go from all four and then you go back. You'd have to go quick then, right?

Yeah, you go quick. Right. So it seems seamless. And like, I must have been eight or seven or eight or nine. Like, you know, and I was jerking off and I was wearing the stockings. And my dad went to open the door and I went to like stop it. Oh.

And it overpowered me and it opened. And I was just standing there, porno mags all over the floor, in my mom's stockings. And it was just the most embarrassing moment. It was a perfect opportunity for him to give me some male advisor, turn me straight at that moment. Yeah. But he just, I swear to God, he only goes, he says,

does your mother know? And that was it. Wow. Yeah. As if I was supposed to say, yeah, she helped me pick out the stock. I mean, of course she doesn't know, dude. Oh, humiliating. Yeah. Make me a man now.

Oh my God. You need to do something. He didn't do anything. He just walked away and we never spoke about it ever again. Ever again. Ever again. Well, how are you? Are you still into stockings?

No, no. And then I was like, big into them in high school whenever my girlfriend wears stocking. I was like, I love the black stockings. So something's saying, are you still into it? No, but I do have that fetish thing in my brain and it changes. Like for a while it was sun dresses and then it was feet. And now it's guys.

How long? Why? On an island. Fucking guys on an island where Asian like slides. Yeah. What I used to do is when I used to masturbate, I would feel my own ass. Grab or like insert? No, I would grab my own ass.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And pretend it was somebody else's. Because you have a very cute female butt. And imagine a good imagination too. I get I understand you're like feeling you're like.

I don't have I'm I have an Asian ass. Yeah. Yours is Greek. So it's Harry. Yes, it is. Mine soft as fuck. Yes. Right.

So it's just like I would grab my own ass. Right. And I would sometimes like stick my like my finger in like the entrance of my butthole. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That weird or is that weird? Keep on. Keep on. Keep on. Yeah. Yeah. And I also would like, you know what I mean?

I would touch because I have no hair on my thighs. So I would touch the thigh. And if here's the problem though, right? Right. You have to put your your hand has to feel the feeling. Right. But like if my body if my body felt the hand, it's a it's a weird it's a weird thing. You have to make sure this leg goes dead. I get it.

There's no circulation here. I can't wait. Oh, so cut off. So you know what you have to do? Right. Right. So you have to. Right.

Right. You have to sit cross-legged like this like you would on a plane. So there's no circulation. So kill your circulation and then touch yourself. Yeah. So you feel it on your hand but not your leg. Or I could have said to my brother. Just punch my ass.

Just punch my ass. Why? I'm about to go to the bathroom so that I wouldn't have a feeling. Oh, see you later. Yeah. I have feelings. So then right. That's interesting. I never thought of it that way.

Wait. So you're basically saying like, yeah. I never thought of that. Like Asians do have less hair. No hair. No hair. Yeah. Yeah. So when you're jerking off, you can kind of like it feels like a woman.

Yes. Yes. That's like it's an enhanced. That's an enhanced. I always kind of call myself like I'm sort of a lesbian in that way. Like I feel like I am in a lesbian relationship because he does feel like a very soft woman in my arms. And I always, that's always been a turn on for me.

Don't you, wouldn't you say? Yeah. I never thought about that. And you've always liked my big broad manly shoulders. I do. She has Michael Phelps shoulders. You do got strong shoulders. Yeah. She's like Michael Phelps.

He kind of a vibe. You know what I mean? So I don't, maybe you think that maybe I lean more toward men and you lean more toward women. I think so. I think there's some truth to that. Maybe. It's just a little part of the brain though, I think. It's a little part of the brain.

And sometimes when you're with someone that comes out more, you know, like I've been with, I've been with some women who are a little more masculine and I felt that kind of come out, that part of the femininity come out. Right. And then I've been with girls who are a little more submissive and I felt like the masculine part comes out.

Yeah. It's like all about the combination. You're exactly right. It depends who's in front of you in that moment. Yeah. I don't like masculine hands. Oh yeah, I have really pretty feminine hands. Yeah, I love hands.

Can we see them? Can I see them? Yeah. Those are fucking feminine. But they're very long. Very long. Very feminine. Yeah.

I don't like butchie hand. I mean, he's not gonna get me in trouble, but I don't like, I mean, I've seen beautiful women, but you look at that. Yeah, in this episode, that's gonna be the thing. I'm so sorry. I said butchie hands. I said butchie hands.

Butchie hands. Cut out butchie hands. Cut it out. Cut that part out. Cut that part out. Totally cut it out. Yeah, keep me darned at the end where I get it. Yeah, keep that in.

Keep all the sexist stuff on the island in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. You can't go butchie hands. It's butchie hands, yeah. But like, I've seen beautiful women, but their hands, they don't manicure them. They're like thicker.

You know, they look like, you know, Steve Simone's hands. That means you're straight. I think ultimately that's a good. That's a test. That's a test. That's a test. That's a day.

You can rest assured. Because I just feel like, you know, if they're jerking me off or they're in a look, it just looks weird. I feel the same way. Well, you have you guys heard of the finger ratio and depending on what is it, George? So it's your pointer finger

and your index finger. Can you look that up? Yeah, what am I looking at? We'll determine. This is more for women. We'll determine whether or not you're gay. Because in women, I think if you have an even length in two of your fingers,

you have a higher, um, you have higher testosterone, right, George? Which one is it? Yeah, maybe you're just bi. So the ratio between the second and the fourth finger. So it's these, these two. Look at this.

Oh, they're even. These are even. This one and this one. Oh, yeah. This one's a little longer, though. No, they're pretty even. Mine are even. What does that mean again then?

Why are you three of yours even? Why are all three of them? All three, all three. It's a straight line. It's a straight line, Yannis. You're fucking weird, dude. What is that? What is that?

It's a little taller. It's a little taller, but what does that mean? This looks like my penis. Well, it's limp. He's super gay, huh? Yeah, is it gay? But listen to this. So men, on average,

have shorter index fingers than ring fingers. While women typically have index and ring fingers of similar lengths. So for me, say for instance, so technically, on most men, they have this longer than that, but in your case, it's not. It is longer.

Look, look. Not really, babe. She's trying to. A little bit. Yeah, have a, wait. Mine's a little long. The ring is a little long. But it's very, like, slightly.

It's not this. Yeah, you see, I'm like angling it. I'm trying to help it. I'm like, wait a second. Look, look. Yeah. Look at that. You can just shift your.

Yeah. It's totally bigger. Yeah, the lighting. I'm trying to, just the lighting. I'm an optical illusion. I think this is more for women. For women. Okay, thank God.

Thank God. Thank God. Yeah. And what about the, like, they say if there's an initial in your, and that's the person you're going to marry? That's a TikTok trend. I know.

But what is it again? What is it? Tell me what it is. It's like the, on your thumb right here. The lines on your thumb. It's a magnifying thing on TikTok. Right. That's, I don't think that's like science.

Not sure if that's science. Yeah. Is that science? No, no. That's sure. Because I don't see, but I was thinking like, I don't see like, look, check this out. A letter, but what if it's in Korean on mine?

Means you're soulmate. Right. What I'm saying is because I'm Korean. Yeah. Right. Do you think the symbol would be in English? I'm not sure. Are you North Korean or South Korean?

I never asked. Oh, North for sure. Oh, you're North. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you're North. No, no, I'm fucking South. But I think that like, you know, all all all all said and done.

You guys, you and I are the same number in terms of hotness. Yeah, I agree. So you don't think. And we also are with women who are way out of our league. Exactly. My wife is like super hot. Yeah, yeah. Do you think that you're better looking than Yanis?

Be honest. No, no, no. I think that him and I because. It's a tie. You have to put it. What do you think? He has a he has a Greek scale. Yeah.

I have a Korean scale. And I think in both scales of compare it, right, would be the same number. I don't know what that would be. Yeah, I agree. Probably a six. Do you think you're better? Six is high.

That's high. Will we go for? Yeah, I mean, can we go five because anything below five? Four points something. All right. Yeah, it's definitely below five. Five's average.

Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So four point two. Yeah. Yeah. You're right.

I wouldn't say that at all. All right. What would you do? Well, because you're far more handsome than that. Well, but that could be just personality rubbing off. Right. This is not. Yeah.

Obviously, your standards aren't that high. You're not the right one to ask. Yeah, yeah. You're with him. But if you throw in personality, what are we? Oh, we're 12s out of 10. Yeah, yeah. We're charming guys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what it is about me and you? This is what we have in common. What? We're both like handsome-ish, but there's like features that throw it off. Like if my eyes were a little farther apart. Yeah.

And my face was a little higher, my forehead was a little. I'm like almost good. Like I'm almost. But he's, he's similar. Your eyes are together a little almost. I mean, they are. So are my.

Well, I look blind. Yeah. Yeah. I think minds are, mine are together a little bit, right? It's almost like this is. Like if your face is a little skinnier, but you're like.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. Okay. You're like one. Yeah. You're saying that any direction to the right or left of handsome and ugly, it's. Slightly over.

So it's like you're in a very special place. Yeah. Where it just a little bit to the left and a little bit to the right could have gone. Yeah. Like could have really changed your like. My brother's special needs like for real. Oh, if you were in the program.

I think if you were like with him, I would think you guys were getting picked up by a van. To get brought to bowling. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Brother. What you say? What? No, honestly.

No, you don't. Fuck you. What? Let me. Don't look like you're part of the staff. So what you're saying to me, because it sounded so rude. What I'm saying is it sounded so rude.

So I have to like be able to like kind of like, let me so let me stay back. Okay. What you're saying to me is that if you're brought, what's your brother's name? Nico. That's a Nico and I. Yeah.

We're getting picked up by the little yellow bus. It's a van. It's a van. Okay. They always got a van. And you drove by. Yeah. Right.

Like by Nico, have fun at school. Right. And I was with him with a lunch pail. 100%. You would think that you would have any questions like that. There's a guy. You don't even need the lunch. You don't have to make it more.

I mean, yeah, I don't have the helmet. Am I wrong? Like if you saw him. I hope that you're wrong. I hope that you're wrong. I mean, God. Right. Okay.

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you were standing with him. Right. All right. I would, I would, I wouldn't go. Oh, look. No. That's the guy.

Okay. Okay. That guy must be, he's a great dude for doing, doing that job. I would never say that. I would say, oh, those are two guys getting picked up to go both. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Now, if you were standing next to Nico, let's, let's reverse that. Right. Right. Okay. I would, like, I wouldn't think, I literally wouldn't think, oh, he's going to the same school.

Right. What I would think is, oh, when they get older, right, they teach as well. Right. Right. So I would think that you were like. You're part of the faculty. Yeah.

The faculty, but you do like, you know what I mean, the dodgeball potion of whatever they do. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. What do you guys think? If both of us were standing next to,

yeah, yeah, yeah. Which one would you assume more? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly. Maybe that's a question that we have to ask, you know, to be the people listening right now. Because I feel like what she's saying is, correct me if I'm wrong,

but I think if we put it in context, what you're saying is, he, based on who he's standing next to. Yeah. It's like. Right. So if I'm standing next to like. Right.

John Cho, right? Okay. That's an answer, right? Yeah. You wouldn't think, oh, there is a M. M. Right. That is like, oh, there's, that's. That's not what at all what I was saying,

but I like that version better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if he was standing next to. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you're saying. I put it this, what he's saying is,

like in Korea, you know, they have assault mines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they throw a lot of like disabled people in the salt mines. He's saying that no one would pluck you out of the salt mines. Unless you were standing next to my brother. He's saying you'd look like you'd belong there.

Right. Right. If, all right. So what you're saying to me, even though I'm not, I'm not like that, right? I could be in a salt mine. I didn't say it. I could be in a salt mine.

And I'd be like, hey, I don't belong here. I'm normal, whatever. Right. They would still keep me in there. Based on look. That's what Giannis is saying. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you could kind of start to maybe make them suspect that you weren't by making sentences and stuff. Right, right. But you, they would, like in the salt, I would like to, like, like math, math matters. Yeah. You know, like four plus four, you know what I mean?

And they'd go, look, I could do this. Yeah. And at first they'd go, wow, that's, wow, this, this one's smart. But they'd make you do a few of those before they let you go. Right. That's where you are.

Right. You would be let go. Yeah. But it would take a few tasks to prove it. Yeah. They might even go, let's send them to the lab. Right. Right.

I go to the lab, right? And I, they, I play wordle. Yeah. I could solve it in three. Yeah. You're right. Like, oh, he could solve wordle in three. Yeah.

He's good. He tries, right? Yeah. Yeah. And then, you know, you know, I, I, I get more than 10,000 points on Tetris. Yeah. I don't know what the tests are like.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And then, you know, you know, I can see, I don't know what they do, but it's like, and then they would go, all right, you may leave. But what if like, do I get like a card? I would need a card so they wouldn't capture me again.

To bring me back to her. Or, yeah, or maybe they just, they would keep you because they would think that you were one of them who got fixed somehow. And they want to research it. They were like, how did this happen? He over, he overcame it. He overcame it. He beat it.

So they'd start studying what you ate, what the environment is. Or no, or they, they, maybe salt, salt mines have something to do with them being rehabilitated. That's what they'll start to think. Right. Because I do the tests. And then these other poor guys will just get salt. And they'll all get dehydrated because they'll think that the salt

will work, but it doesn't. It's just that you were supposed to be there the first place. But they won't believe that. Right. Okay. For a while. Yeah. Okay.

Wow. What a conversation. What a conversation. All right, let's go to another. Listen, I could talk to you forever, but I just feel like this whole thing. I'm crying. I've been so funny. I've never cried in a while.

This is a lot of crying. I haven't cried in a while, right? And I don't want to like overdo it. I think we were, we killed it for an hour. So we should talk about the Ukraine. Switch gears. So let's go to an unhelpful advice. Before that, a fan named Jay actually sent in,

they found all the old yearbooks at Poway High School. Wow, you were hot, dude. So that's, that's 87. And then here's 88. I think your sophomore year, you're on a tennis team. They did an article on you, which was pretty cool. Well, that wasn't the article. That was the yearbook.

Yeah. Like when people go, I'm not athletic, you know what I mean? Or you know what I mean? But what exactly are you doing there? It says Bobby Lee shows his latest dance moves while on the tennis court. Yeah, but I was doing this, a following through with a backhand. Yeah, you're pretty good. Because I didn't do a double, I didn't do a double hand backhand.

I could do a single, which is like. The fancy one, yeah. It's the fancy one. You were really a good looking kid. And then this is a junior year. There we go, dude. Next to the Kathy. I look really good looking.

Yeah. And then senior year. Oh, sweetie, how cute. Yeah, yeah. I look like you're starting to get a little fatter there. That's the turn of the bus turn, van turn. Okay. Like that senior year.

The van used to drive by now. It's going a little slower past them. But that senior year though, right? Yeah. It's from a different school. So I'll tell you what happened. Mount Carmel. Okay.

That's Mount Carmel, right? So Mount Carmel High School and Poway High School, right? They used the same photography studio. Oh. Remember what I told you? So what they did was, they saw mine. And Mount Carmel was 60% Asian, right? And at Poway High, it was like 3%.

So they just assumed that my photo was in the wrong section. So they send it to Mount Carmel. And that's why I never went to Mount Carmel, but I'm in the Mount Carmel. I swear to God. Are you serious? Is that a true story? Is that a true story?

That's real. Because I was. I never went to Mount Carmel. And I mean, look up there. Senior year photo. That's your joking. No. That's a true story.

That's a true story. Because look how many Asians are on here. That's why they go, there's no way that this guy went to Poway. That's fucking crazy. It's so racist. That is so racist. It's so racist. Yeah, look at that.

Because you have one, two, three, four, five, six. Now go back to my junior year photo from Poway High. Is this your year? Yeah, yeah. I wish I could see Bobby Lee. Let's see. I can't believe that. Oh, they just sent the sheet.

No, but then the freshman year. This one? No. Yeah, go to that one. Right? One year old. There's one. It just doesn't seem as Asian.

Right. Yeah. Right. Go up and down maybe. Yeah, it's all white people. It's all white. Yeah, so that's why they made that assumption. And I remember, granted, I was sober.

So I was in AA, right? Yeah. So I got sober at the end of my junior year. My senior year now, I'm sober, right? And then the yearbooks come out. And I'm frantically looking at the senior. And now, and then I make a call to the administration. And I go, because I remember taking the photo.

Right? Not like, you know. Because you put a tie on even. I put a tie. I did the whole thing, right? I'm sober. I'm going to wear a sweater. Yeah.

You know what I mean? No, that's not. Yeah, go back to the senior one. Yeah. Yeah, go back to the senior. So I wear like a vest, this and that, right? Yeah. And I'm not in it.

And I remember calling my sponsor when they go, oh, we're so sorry. But your photo was sent to the other high school, right? That's so fucking hot. And I remember calling my sponsor. I can't believe this is a true story. My sponsor going, I think I'm going to relapse. Yeah.

Because I did all the things right. You know what I mean? He's like, come on, buddy. It's just your senior year, right? Now I don't really care. But like, it did hurt me back then. No, that's hurtful. Yeah.

It did hurt me back then. Yeah. The way that makes him want to cry. Because it's like, very racist. It's so racist. Yeah, seriously. And also there was like only there was no apology from their end. Right.

They were just telling me the fact, well, you are Asian. And they're, you know, they were like very, like factual about it. Right. And, you know, because Malcolm L is primary and primarily Filipinos and other, I mean. Yeah, we got it. Ladritos, Laguda. Look at this guy.

Alan Laguda. Yeah. You know, you look like Alan Laguda. So. Ladritos. There isn't ladritos. So, yeah. So it was like, I mean, look at it.

They just assumed. Yeah. Is that insane? Yeah. And Pahue High School still today, Yana. It doesn't look like an American yearbook. This is how she shows us. This is how racist they are.

They still won't put me in the Pahue High School walk of fame. Hall of fame. Hall of fame. Really? Yeah, they have a hall of fame. Right. No one in there has anything remotely in my credit. Right.

Right. One guy played like the violin in some symphony, you know what I mean, 20 years ago and he got in. To be fair, Tom DeLong from Blink 182 isn't on there either. Yeah. Because Tom DeLong went to my high school. They view my high school views my kind of fame, not real. It has to be associated with, you know.

Like that guy. Like Michael Wang. Like this is. Michael Wang. What did he do? Yeah, like this guy is a part of the hall of fame. Yeah. He's a doctor.

He's a doctor. So that's what they view. Right. Yeah, yeah. But he is chief of ophthalmology. Yeah. I did the Tonight Show at 29. Let's go.

After five years of doing stand up. That's a big fucking deal. It's a big deal. That's a doctor. Fuck you. Yeah. You were on man TV. Eight years.

An Asian guy, Korean dude on an American sketch show. For eight years. Fuck you. That's something too. Right. It's huge. It's huge. Like what's the Indian girl?

What's her name? Ami Aadoshi. What does she do? Ami Bami. Yeah, Ami Aadoshi. Pediatric hospitalist. Yeah, they're all in the medical field, right? You should get a doctorate.

I should get my doctorate. And if they don't fucking put me in it then, I'll never get one. You noted it. I think this is just a part of the larger theme that comedians don't get respected. This may not be a Korean thing. Like the other, the yearbook thing was definitely an Asian thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.

But this could be just like, you know, we don't get an Oscar. We don't get any respect. There's no, yeah, there's no award shows. We get slapped. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's also viewed like, you know, strippers have the same environment, right? Yes.

You know, patrons drink, right? There's a, it's always in a nightclub, late at night, right? It's the same kind of two-drink minimum. It's like... Same type of childhood. Yeah, I mean, in many ways, yeah. Same kind of traumatic trial or some sort of issue, right? And I think we're not viewed respectfully.

No, we're not. Yeah. We're not. And notice like when, like guys like Robin Williams and Jim Carrey, these guys that do get into the Hollywood machine, right? They generally don't come back. But there are ones that Chris Rock, they do. Right.

Right. But there are those that just, yeah, like Tim Allen just completely disappeared. Right. Right. They're like, I got out of whatever that was. Right, right. Whereas now, what I love about the young kids now is they view stand-up comedy as the be all end all. You know what I mean?

If they can do it in this field, they made it. Where I was conditioned that I had to do something else outside of stand-up, but I think I'm going the other way. I think I am very proud of being, I mean, are you? Very proud. Very proud. Yeah, very proud of it. Yeah.

I think it's cool. You know what it is? It's funny too, because I think part of it is because maybe certain comedians are a little more edgy. And so then they look down on that. And then the ones that they idolize like that are very clean, those ones end up raping people. Raping people. Yeah, yeah. Full circle.

So they're wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They could be like, you know, it's never the guy who's like crazy or filthy on stage, who's ending, who's doing anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's always the clean cut guy who's trying to create an image. Yes. Yeah, those ones are always weird.

Yes. And even if they don't do like sexual misconduct or anything like that, they're kind of asshole. They're like sadistic or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like in real life, they're real assholes. Yeah. Like, you know, is Seinfeld a nice guy? Yeah.

Is he? No, I said that sarcastic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've heard he doesn't like to be touched. Yeah, yeah, they're so yeah. I mean, there's just a weirdness about it. Yeah.

I mean, whenever I see him, I think he's a legend and I think he is a very talented man. That's not what I'm saying. But you know, that's an interesting thing or unhelpful advice. Unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalayla and Yannis. That's great, dude. Thanks, man. I'm 34 and married with one child. Need your help with your awesome medical sexual advice.

I become a vegetarian, not a vegan, because I'm a fat ass at heart and can't survive on lettuce. I gain a lot more energy, especially sexually. I last longer. It gets up and stays hard longer. But I've noticed when I have sex with my wife, I don't come like I used to. I mean, I was a shooter and now I'm a clogged up glue bottle flowing out. Sometimes I even shoot blanks. My question is, should I go back to eating meat or is this something serious and something else?

Huge fan of the podcast. Well, I asked Dr. Drew last Friday night when I did the moon tower. He was one of our guests and I had the same exact question. Like when I come and I wait five or six days, you know what I mean? And I don't do porn, so I'm just doing it through imagination and I think of you always. Anyway, not a, not a more blatant life, no, every time. That was creepy. I hope to find you.

I check your name. I think that would give me the if. But I've been waiting even four days and I've nothing comes out sometimes. Like absolutely nothing. And I don't know if it's the Ritalin. You know what I mean? I don't know if it's, I will, I will say this about myself. I, my orgasms, the quality has kind of not been as good as I'm getting older.

And then I look at that Bobby's fault or no, even when I like make myself come. Okay. Like I, it's just not, and I was thinking, oh, like are my nerve endings aging as well? Like I couldn't figure it out. But then someone told, well, I read it up, I read up on it. And you know, I, I cycle a lot, like a lot, a lot. And apparently there is a correlation with the pressure that is constantly between my legs when I'm cycling and the fact that perhaps I have sort of killed my vaginal sensation. So I'm not, so I'm not sitting on the bike a lot when I cycle.

I'm constantly like up. But then also, I don't know if that's it or maybe getting older means your cums are less blasty. I thought women's get more as they get older. Not for me. No. Because I remember when I, like even a couple years ago, you could like a mild breeze would make me calm.

Now it takes some rigor. Be honest. Maybe it's associated with your trauma in the past or maybe those issues are coming up. Maybe, maybe. Well, Dr. Drew said to me was, because I'm 50, right? And it's number one in your age, number two, you know, you just went to rehab and there's a lot of big changes in your life and a lot of psychological changes. And just physically it affects you, you know what's going on in your minds and that.

So it's not a health crisis. You know, I, he just said, Dr. Drew just basically said, just be patient. It'll happen again, you know? And so, I mean, I'm not really that concerned about it, you know? It is, it is humbling when you have to deal with like the drop in testosterone levels. And like, it's not, it's really. You really do feel it. Yeah, you feel it.

Yeah, you do feel it. Which I, in many ways, I'm glad because, you know, in my 20s, it controlled every decision. It was like, yeah. Like I'm going to get this cologne because so and so gets a lot of pussy and he, you know what I mean? Or like everything was based. I'm going to get these shoes or whatever it might be. I need to make more money or, you know, I would also do, I would meet a girl at a bar

and I would wait till eight in the morning. I would beg. You know what I mean? I would, I would go all out, right? Now I would do none of that. Right. Even if it wasn't with you, I would just do none of it. I don't give a shit.

Right. Right. And it used to consume my mind. Yeah. And I couldn't look at a girl without like thinking a fuckinger. And now I can just look at them as people. Yes. And you guys have sometimes things to say.

Yeah. Yeah. Like it's, I remember like it was actually, I was in San Diego and these two girls came to the show and, you know, they were like fans of this character that I had more recent. So they were like huge fans. They were hot. A lot of the fans of that character are usually hot. And then we hung out afterwards.

We drank. We like hung out. And then at the end of the night, they were like, joke. They were like, you know, we're not, and they were like very cool. One was a lawyer. They were like smart and we had like a great time talking. And then at the end of the night, they were like, just so you know, we're not having a threesome with you.

And they like laughed. And I was like, no, that, that's fine. Like, I really enjoyed talking with you guys. Wow. I was like, I'm going in to get a solid eight hours of sleep. And I felt good about that. Yeah. I was like, no, I think a threesome would be to take too much energy.

Like it just feels like a whole thing. Yeah. And that's when I knew like, oh, I'm old. Yeah. Because before I would have been like, damn, damn, I went home and I would have furiously jerked off what the threesome would have been like. Yeah. But I just went home and like felt very fulfilled from the intellectual stimulation

in the conversation. Yeah. I think we talked about like real estate law. And I was sitting there listening to her and she was hot. She was hot too. Yeah. And that Saturday morning when I came back from Austin, we woke up early because I wanted to get this breakfast taco and they opened it.

We had to time it out perfectly, right? So I mindfully got up at seven, right? I packed my shit, right? I'm out. You know, I was the first one down there and then Jules and Andreas came down. And as I walked out, I see Brian Simpson. You know, he's a comic. Yes, I love Brian.

He's so funny. Yeah. And he has like eye boogers in his eye, right? He's wearing headphones. His lips were all dry. Yeah. He was hunched over, right? And he was like in a like a hangover or something, right?

And I go, Brian, what's the matter? He goes, oh, I just got in, right? He looked like a man who was chasing pussy all night. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's what it looked like. And I go, get up there because you have shows you tonight and get some fucking sleep. Yeah.

And he goes, OK, man, OK, good to see you. And he went up there, right? But I remember that look. Yeah. And I haven't seen that in a very long time. Yeah. And I'm so grateful. Yeah, I don't miss it at all.

I don't miss it at all. And I do think there is something in what you're saying that as you get older, you need more. I think that part of that is just because you've done everything and like your levels lower. So you need something higher. Like you got to get stimulated. You need like a little more. I think that's been my problem. I think you guys should bring me into your.

But, Janice, be careful. That's a little too much. To me, that's a little too much. Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico. There's hardly a thing out there that I haven't already done. Yeah. So it's like, what?

You're going to shit on my chest. Been there. OK. OK. It's like, what are you going to bring? That's novel. What was that like? Yeah, yeah.

No, I haven't really been shit on my chest. But I've been peed on. OK. Yeah, yeah. You know, I've, yeah, I've been peed on. It was an accent, baby. I'm so sorry. Yeah, I think that's it.

Like there's sort of this boredom that I have around the idea. Do you like soft love making? Maybe that's what's missing. I do love soft. But you've done that plenty. But then I get into these weird like moods that last for weeks where I just want to be absolutely like controlled and devastated by like a man.

Right. Yeah, devastated here. I can control. Control. I got on lockdown. You know what I mean? Devastation. I don't know.

Mortal Kombat. But they don't last. You know what? Maybe Putin. I feel like he he does real good. Klyla got fucked by Putin. That might be the only thing left for you to fuck Putin. It's a fucking like a murderous dictate.

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. He's like killing citizens. And you're like he's poisoning political rivals. And you're like.

Like a Ukrainian hospital explodes. And you're like. That's it. Maybe. Wow. That's it. This episode is that. If that was on the table.

If Putin came up to you and said, look, Bobby, I will end the war in Ukraine. If I get to just devastate Klyla. Yes. Yeah. I want to save lives. And then what if I would have to say what I'm like. No, no.

You're doing it. You're doing it for the people of different. I would do it. Yeah. Yeah. I would. Yeah. Absolutely.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That shows you're a good person. You didn't even hesitate.

Yeah. Yeah. That means you don't care about her. But you care about a bigger picture. I do. Yeah. Which is what leaders have to make those types of decisions all the time.

But that narrows it down for you guys that can devastate you. Who could devastate you? Kim Jong-un, you think? No, I feel like he's a sloppy fuck. I think he's like you. He likes you to just lay on his back. OK. So yeah.

I'm learning a lot. Yeah. So he's wiped out. He's wiped out, right? What about? Bobby, just wake up and roll over. Yeah. Just get a.

You know who I want to have sex with? What? The chancellor. What chancellor? Chancellor. Angela Merkel. Oh. But she's not a devastator.

She is a devastator. You know she is. Fuck Angela Merkel? Yeah. So looks are not important to you at all, male or female. Love a good ugly. That's a devastator. That's a devastator.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right. She's German too. She'll put a fucking glass of glass bottle in your ass. Yeah. Yeah. They're German. What does her vagina look like?

A grizzly. Probably really not. It's a grizzly. Yeah. No, that's not true. I swim. Sorry, bleep that out. I swim at this one pool a lot.

And I see a lot of elderly women in the shower. And women that look like her always have great pussies. Wow. Intact, way more intact than mine. Really? Yeah. Mine's like. You know what it's interesting?

You used an abuse. When I used to watch porn, I used to kind of look at, you know what I mean, old women porn. Like I'm talking about 80-year-old women. And I used to like, their bodies are wrinkly as fuck, right, obviously. And I'm not judging them. That's just part of nature.

But their vaginas don't have wrinkles. They're normal. Really? Yeah, yeah. If you look at them, just zoom in on a old woman's vagina. And you wouldn't be able to tell. Can we pull one up? Yeah, yeah.

And old ones would be able to tell how old they are. You know what? I think you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You're even wrong about the rest of the body, because again, I shower with a lot of elderly women. And I would say some of their boobs,

they held on much better than mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? Yeah. And you have no kids or anything, right? Nope. No. And I have A-cups.

Right. Because usually. Why are you grimacing? I'm just trying to find some. And there's a lot of just some about that. Yeah, yeah, let's just see the ones that. What do you mean I'm wrong? He's saying the data doesn't match the hypothesis.

All right. So that lady right there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Which one? That one right there. That looks like a hatchet wound. This is an older one.

Here we go. Here we go. Yeah, yeah. That one. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Zoom in. I don't know, guys.

Yeah. It's not a fat chick. Can you? Yeah, that's a fat chick's vagina. It's still old. Yeah, let's go to Guru's thinner one. Fat chick's vagina. Here, here, here.

All right. That's an ideal. The left, the left, the left. The one on the left. That one, that one, that one, that one, it looks completely normal. That was good. That was okay. But that picture's a little blurry.

The little, how about the one on the left? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Normal. Pretty normal. Pretty normal. Nice boobs. Yeah.

Nice boobs. You wouldn't be able to tell. You'd be like, that's Kate Blanchett or an old lady. Yeah, Helen Marin. Yeah, yeah. No, the titties look good there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

You would fuck Helen Marin. Yeah. Oh, she's a hottie. You would fuck Helen Marin. Yes, I would. Yes, I would. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like this.

I like a woman who ages naturally. That, that, that, that, that, that. I mean, that's, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's sloppy sandwich. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's definitely, that's curry. There's curry inside that.

No, I like, I don't like the Botox. I like a natural, I like natural look. Me too. Yeah. Anyway, what do you want to plug? Yeah. Your butt. You want to plug your asshole?

My podcast, Long Days. Long Days. Check out Long Days. Long Days. Yeah, Long Days. Any dates you want to plug? Yeah. I'm going to be in Addison, Texas.

When's this come out? Uh, Thursday. Oh, I'm in Addison, Texas right now. Oh, yeah. Addison, Texas all week in Addison Improv. And then, uh, the weekend. By the way, that's a great club. I love it.

I love Addison Improv. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the improv, right? Yeah, the improv. Yeah. And they, they put you in back of the club in that weird hotel. Yes, they did.

Yeah, I like that one. Last time. The residence, residence in, whatever. Yeah. Oh, and then, uh, yeah, I'll be in, uh, Hilarides in Cleveland. My what? The seventh?

Well, shout out to Nick. Great guy. Yeah. He's one of the, my favorite people on earth. He's amazing. How nice is that, man? He's the best. He's the best.

I love your podcast art. Hilarides, yeah. Yeah, Hilarides is one of the best clubs in America. Great food. Yes. A steakhouse. Yes.

They treat you respect. I love that place. Scott too. I love Scott over there too. Scott's great. Yeah. Um, and then, uh, Robling, or auditorium in Robling, New Jersey.

Never played there. Jane Pickens Theater in Newport, Rhode Island. And that's it coming up. Yon, that's a round of applause. Thank you so much. Woo! One of my favorite ones. This was crazy.

Oh, it's so funny. Thank you guys. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Barely Ad Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to Ad Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself

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