TigerBelly - Ep 345: The Rogan Roast

Episode Date: April 27, 2022

Bobby is back on the rez. Khalyla is the Toaster. George takes it too far. We talk zip zooming around Tulsa, Khalyla's Fables, trying to make Segura laugh, and Bobby's sober love for The Bachelor. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Lime Lime Lime disease let's go five four three I made a creek Indian today I did welcome to Tulsa, Oklahoma I've been shooting out the reason why the gang is out here because we've I've been shooting reservation dogs and I just been Entrenched in native culture. That's all I think you've been adopted. I'm adopted by them You know, it's you know, it's an interesting theory. Can I tell you a theory? Yeah

What do you think so there's a you know, there's a lot of people that think that Natives are descendants from Asia Your mom I think Believes that I think my mom believes that no she thinks she thinks they're reverse Yeah, no, so yeah, that's where I'm gonna go. So a lot of people think that You know, there's Ching-chongs back in the day in China. I don't know what they call them but Asians back and then they call him Yeah, yeah Back in the day and they went up Russia. They crossed the Bering Strait. They drifted into North America. Hence

You have the natives, right? but I believe and my mom believes in a theory that If natives start it started here and the natives went up, right and I guess it was really sunny Where the Bering Strait is because their eyes got all slanty. I don't know what happened. Yeah, I mean Wait, walk me through that again. Yeah, I want you to explain to me the adaptation that led to smaller eyes a Real a funny angle or a real angle. What do you think the reason is what why I've asked Scientists and and historians this question over the years and no one gives me scientist dr. Kobayashi, obviously dr. Kobayashi and

Dr. Ken Jeong, there's only a doctor's I know doctor, yeah, so um Well, so anyway, so I how does Asians eyes? It had probably has to do with sunny That was sunny where specifically was it sunny in China must have been really sunny there. Okay, right? Also, secondly, you know Maybe they jerk off a lot and they made they made the face The orgasm got stuck. Yeah, we we like to jerk off a lot

Asians do I do that's what my mom says like you cannot like we were never allowed to Intentionally cross our eyes because she says if a wind hits it, it'll stay stuck there like that Uh-huh, and I think that's what happened to me. Oh, that could have because I'm kind of slow sort of cross-eyed sometimes Yeah, yeah, I have another theory. I Asians are suspicious So there are there always oh You know, I mean, they're always investigating and suspicious about things, you know And when you're constantly suspicious your eyes get you know, and they just get locked in you know, I mean in that way Yeah, it's like um that guy doesn't belong in this neighborhood

Mm-hmm, right, but then the guy from the neighborhood is looking at you like why is that guy looking at me? You know, maybe he had his eye slant with the eye Everyone's eyes are slanted because everyone suspicious of each other and over there. So you met my so it's sunny Think about this super sunny. Okay, so they walk out. Oh God, it's sunny, right? What is that guy doing here? I gotta go to the bathroom Oh, right, right and the wind blows and then the wind blows right and it's a constant your eyes are constantly You know and it's like It turns out this way over time genetics. Yeah genetics, you know, not genetics through the environment

Oh, so you're saying if that didn't exist everyone just has big eyes Dude, we would be like little yellow dudes with big-ass eyes And I don't like that. Yeah, yeah, we would look like smaller whites with jaundice Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I think that our eyes makes us first of all It sets us apart But what I said what I hated about it is just the constant ridicule especially when you're in America I'm you know, I mean, it's like they probably don't have jokes in Asia like what are the racist jokes for Chinese people towards each other like for instance, like I would be at a

You know a Hispanic friends house and we're doing the pinata, but they would get me always got a pinata Yeah, they would give me it's my turn to the pinata pinata and they would give me dental floss to cover my eyes Right, that's good. And then they would everyone would laugh. Ah, right. I would actually put it on Right and I'd say see it doesn't work Yeah, yeah, because if my eyes were really that slanted slanty that dental floss could fucking blind me. Yeah, I Would be blind. Yeah, or you would see let me see You would only see this. You know what everything would be You like in a movie like when you see like letterbox. Oh

Okay You know me it's just it would be like a criteria criterion collection movie. Yeah, you're me just an art house film But you're my letterbox. I've been worried about what I've been worried about your left eye Yeah, because lately there's been a delay when it opens I know this one opens first and this one stays sticky. Can I ask you when that happened? What was it post-COVID? May know before post-COVID my eyes been twitching Cindy will go your eyes twitching the right eye You never got conjunctivitis though during COVID because I know that's one of the things that I'll be honest I'll tell you why mine is like this. No, don't give me that look

I didn't know my own that's crazy my first of all my nut doesn't go up also And it goes down. She's saying it does it does. Yeah, it goes Yeah, but it doesn't like I know I start, you know, I know do white dudes that have to do a foot two foot Oh, George. Wow, you do one foot two foot. I remember that story when you said you you so much Oh, that was a patreon only story back in the day. Yeah, I'll tell you why I'm on his glass I'll tell you why my left eye is like this. Okay, it was made my eye You know, there are some celebrities that I get obsessed with and I want to look like them. Oh Forest Whitaker. Yeah. Ah, that's what you're a huge force. What is perfect? You're a

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so, um, welcome to the slumber party Yeah, there's Gilbert in the closet always in the closet never out forever in the closet guys What's interesting about Tulsa is no one gives a shit about us here That's number one. No, we're talking about the check filet. So he just told you guys you have a tic-tac And we don't even have a tic-tac, but that's that's fucking not fair when people go Yeah, when people go when they recognize you for something that you don't do it doesn't feel good Like I love you on tic-tac. I've never been on it. You're all over it. I am you're so many clubs of you on it

Oh, so I guess you're a tic-tac star. I'm a tic-tac star I don't want to be but thank you whoever does that and then at the grocery store I Was walking out because you want to fucking detergent. I want to wash your clothes. No, you do it for yourself and let's be honest I'm here for two days. Why would I need it for myself? You have no more underwear. I know Oh, yeah, but I don't I don't you can't side a side B. I'm sorry I do a side B side when I'm on the road What you don't do a side B side. I've never done it. Should I try it? Yeah, flip it

But then what about the like shit and sweat on the outside? It's on the outside. It rubs against your pants Okay. Yeah. Yeah, it's good for a Japanese selved. She says yeah, it's good for the Rodham to denim. Anyway, um, we were at the grocery store and and um, I Was walking down the detergent island and there was a white guy there who was the manager, you know He had a little tag on and he froze thought still and I thought here we go He's gonna think I'm some other guy You still think that to this day. Oh, I still get it. I still get it happens all the time all the time He's gonna go. I love you on heroes. You know, I've heard it all

You know, I mean, you're great and entourage, you know, I mean, and it's like then you have to explain to them I'm not that guy and then they have to go. Yeah, you are And then you have to and then you have to fight You have to fight for yourself Right to convince them and then you pull out your phone and you Google your name and then you Google then you Google Rex You know name and compare the two and then to 30 minutes goes by itself always the time anyway You've held up the line at right aid. Yeah, so this dude goes, um Hey, I can't believe you're here and I go, who do you think I am and he goes good

That's a better approach because then you're testing them and then they're embarrassed to say if they're not sure then They won't say the wrong answer and hurt your feelings. Yeah, I also do this I'll go. Yeah, dude. I know I work at the PF Chang's. That's a good one. Like I'll you know, I mean Make a joke out of it or something, right? We're going to high school together is another dumb thing I say you don't know we went to high school together And they what school do we go to? I go that one. I don't know. Anyway, he goes Like who do you think I am and he goes look at my hair? And I looked and I go you have red hair

He goes, yeah And I go, oh, you're thinking he goes Santino. So that's once you sit Santino I know he knows bad friends then I got he goes I'm only gonna be at this job for two more weeks. I quit I go, what are you gonna do? Because I don't know he goes. I want to do comedy That's what he said and I go We if you don't do in two weeks, you're never gonna do it Maybe you were his god shot. Hmm. Do you think?

Could be where where else are you gonna find a guy who wants to do comedy that is like a pure ginger in final form Like what are the excuse me? Can we walk through the stages? Yeah, I've never fun. I've never met an underdeveloped Ginger there was there one out there. Where are they under so what you're saying is at one point I go Oh, it's finally done like there. It's like yeast. What is it like Santino's final form, right? Yeah. No, he's definitely not final Yeah, yeah, he needs to form is nothing to do with appearance final Oh, everything to do with it means that you are at a certain part of your life Where you're usually final form is like you've hit like absolute enlightenment Your final form before you pass. Oh, I think you're talking about gingers

You were talking about gingers, babe. I know but I'm just saying here's a fucking ginger who is in a transition in his life He's finally making he's finally quitting his job to pursue comedy and he comes across Bobby Lee buying laundry detergent In Tulsa in Tulsa. Yeah in some random grocery store. What are you gonna say George? Oh, I was just wondering if that's when gingers get their soul when they finally reach final form. Oh That's why Andrew doesn't has to have a soul I don't know what happens Actually don't know what's final for me. Yeah, don't say shit then, baby Guy is there a ginger without pale skin? Is that underdeveloped? Yeah, me. I'm underdeveloped ginger

My right side is part ginger. Really? Yeah, that's why I have like if you look under the sun I don't have I have like Auburn hair my grandma had my grandma had Dark red red hair. Hmm. So let's talk about yesterday yesterday. You guys came into town. We I shot all day And we took scooters and we went to a restaurant. What'd you think? Loved it. It's called low wood. So good. It's in Tulsa Can you guys believe I'd never been on a scooter before? Oh, you told us for three hours Well, I thought you guys were for sure gonna leave me because that's what Bobby does and guess what he left me Well, how do you go slow?

I don't know you're about to say I'm gonna get in trouble for you, but I get in trouble. I'll get the one How can you go slow on those scooters like it's you either punch it all the way you must not know me You must not know how I rode those brakes for a whole mile Oh, you're holding the breakdown the whole Your hand is doing two things that you're more likely to crash if you hold both things like you got to hold the grip hard And then just goose it guess what George You guys did a poor job at explaining how to safely do it. That's not true at all I'm on George's time

Side that's absolutely true. Okay number one Gilbert said though. What did Gilbert say? On our way back from low wood the restaurant, which was delicious when we had ice cream over salad and it blew my Blue cheese ice cream on greens. Yeah, and walnuts and pecans or something It was jalapenos jalapenos really good salad great place if you're ever in Tulsa go freaking save money though Save money for it. Yes. Yes, and we're going to tonight. Also, um bull in the alley Yes, the little I just want to let you know what was we'll talk about later, but you know, yeah Yeah, what I say after what I say what I say So after dinner I was experiencing some digestion issues. So I yeah diarrhea all night massive

All night. Yeah, all night. It happens a lot to me. I have colitis, but then I choose to just eat everything anyways and so We go back on the birds on the scooters And then I was like you guys like wait for me wait for me because I was still kind of Unlocking the bird and Bobby was like see ya So he had already like gone and then George you followed because you're an asshole, too I guess I gotta like keep the dust like be the person in between And Gilbert said this to me. He goes I now know

The things like watching you and Bobby. I now know why Cindy gets mad at me for the things that I do You know why that's all I that's you know what you know what Gilbert you know, you know what you know what man You know, you don't know because you you don't realize I'm a reflection of you No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like I was like if you're final form I'm like seven like I don't like go see I go I'll leave me alone I Burt away had a half speed than you. Yeah, he was able to realize through Me being left behind that he leaves in deep behind often. No, no

Let me ask you guys something. Okay. Yeah When you're doing a marathon Okay, yes, I've tried to picture myself when you're on a marathon, right? Do you jog or run you do either one right walk, right? You do either one, right pick one speed, right? Walk is fine. What you were doing with the scooter was crawl If you if you saw the Boston marathon and you saw some guy from the starting lineup Just get on his hands and knees and start crawling. You would think that that's a little weird Hey terrible joke, but she wouldn't have died. Yeah, what she wouldn't have died at the Boston Marathon. Oh

She was so what you're saying what you're saying to me is this right? I would have made it because I would you would have got to the end because that's where the bomb went off Yeah, and she's still like half way or the and George and I would have no legs right now We would all be dead It's like see ya. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. That's an interesting theory. Yeah, maybe the marathon wasn't a good analogy That would have been too dark the famous fable the rabbit and the The rabbit in the toaster

Classic story classic story, you know what a Gilbert explain me the old story of the rabbit Tell me the philosophy there, okay, so a lot of Tell me the fucking fable of the rabbit and the coaster I tell you you start it. We'll do we'll finish the story There were two there were two friends one was a toaster and one was a rabbit Let's join the let's join the Boston Marathon. Oh god. I remember this old fable. My dad used to okay to keep going Use a fucking tragedy. Let's use. Yeah. Don't use the Boston Marathon again The Tulsa 10k. Yeah, it's always use Columbine use call by yeah, it's a less dark. It's still dark, but less dark Yeah

Yeah, but but the story set it in 1945 Germany. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it. That's the end That's okay. Oh, that's the end of the story. Okay guys. Go ahead the rabbit and the toaster friends Well, the toaster and their friends, right? Yeah, and then the rabbits all fucking like, you know I'm gonna get to low wood restaurant first because I like their porterhouse steak So I'm gonna fucking, you know step on it and go 30 miles per hour Yeah, and then the toaster is like well, I'm made of metal. I don't have legs like that my friend Yeah, it's not walking. Yeah, I'm not made for movement. So I'm just going to kind of slowly You know what I mean? Let the wind take me. Let the wind take me

Okay, so tell me how the toaster wins in this. It's very windy in Oklahoma. Okay. It's so windy Number one could I just I would just have a just a logistical question. Please do. Okay Um, if the toaster goes more than 30 feet, it dies because he's be plugged into the wall. Yes. Oh, it's a solar panel It's a solar power. You explain that. Yeah, so this particular toaster is solar Yeah, the first the first iteration of this toaster, which was his grandpappy toaster Yeah Was very insecure about the fact that he would just travel a few paces and then all of a sudden he would die, right? Well, how long how long ago did this fable occur? Is this a wives tale from like 300 years ago?

It's an ASOP fable. It's an ASOP fable. So they knew about solar technology back then? I think so because guess how long the sun's been around. Okay. That's a very good point. You know what I mean? It's a good point. Guess how long it's been around? How long has the sun been around? Since the Big Bang? I don't even know. I think it's before actually. No, right? No, the sun Wasn't around before the Big Bang. The Big Bang started out all of it, right? Well, I'm just saying I've been watching a lot of moon night and there's multiple suns. Oh, yeah I understand that but George just back me up here. Okay, the universe started from the Big Bang, right? Yeah, right?

So you're saying that there was three suns Creationism well, we can equate that with the Big Bang. Okay, go ahead. This is good. This is good The beginning was the I had the fire reading a lot of young he could do this Oh my god, George has to sleep and I rest my case Gilbert. There you go. Yeah, that was a big about a big break Okay, so I'm small bang baby. It's a small bang. So explain to me about I this is all over the place But we're gonna go back to the toes. Oh, I want to finish this story. So yeah, yeah So I don't even know what I'm explaining anymore. The Big Bang is the beginning of everything It's before that there was no there was no sun. So that's

Okay, I'm living I'm telling this story PBS presents 80 a subs fables with Rabbit and the toaster And everything you say toaster I said dirt those Satellite toaster dirt this Okay, and so the first grandpappy toaster was like we need to Adapt and be better. So he created solar panels for the next generation, right? And so what had happened was Then baby toaster is now born with this capability to move And so he meets this fucking rabbit somewhere in fucking the gathering in Oklahoma

Which was made by George Kaiser is what I learned, right? And so he meets this guy there and he was like bro. Let's go to low wood. They got good bucktroy with white truffle miso and And rabbit was like fuck yeah, let's go but then rabbit, right? fantastic details These fables are for kids by the way. Yeah, they're like, what's white truffle? But rabbit is a dumb dumb, right? That was kind of direct and then rabbit has like a friend that wears glasses. Yeah, what is that?

He's he's a human but weirdly enough. He's dumber Yeah, but but the rabbit good. Let me ask you something from what I recall from the ace of the table, right? Yeah, yeah, but yeah, but the rabbit is Very talented Very tell us the rabbit sell out the rose sell weekends Yeah, the rabbit can sell out pretty much in any city in America anyway famous on tic-tac without even Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a pretty cool rabbit and the toaster You know when the toast is it happens to be a woman the toast

I don't know if you remember that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and when the toaster peas it has to wet its fuck feet It's toaster feet. It electrocutes itself. Yeah. Yeah, so Okay, so that's what happened and he got this fucking dumb friend named Jorge with glasses or whatever and they're like Okay, let's just go. Let's just go and then they're fucking booking it over there booking it over there Yeah, I have an actual question about the fable. Why is it bad to be the rabbit again? Oh because he is Is and this is the man who doesn't know about the big bang Slow and steady Yeah, you hear what I'm saying slow and steady

Reckless does not but then how does Michael Phelps win every time because he's slow and steady up here He's just fast with his body, but he's slow and steady in his mind. Yeah, and I was fast with the scooter I'm slow and steady in my mind But at the end, at the end of this fable, thank you. What's that? People applauded. Oh, at the end of it, though, the rabbit gets there and he realizes the butcher has ran out of elk for the for the main course and he was like, well, there's a fucking

rabbit and a dumb and his dumb friend, Jorge, he butchers them and kills them and then the toaster eats them. I don't know who won this. Geico presents a sips fable by Kalei like you. Okay. Good. Thank you. It's amazing.

And so we the meal was good. We came back and I work today and now we're doing the pod. Thanks for coming here, guys. All the way to Tulsa. You guys are leaving tomorrow. I'm going to be here for another seven days or something. You don't feel like a king here. I mean, George, what king?

No, because me and George, Kala was in the bathroom having diarrhea when we're talking outside. What am I not having diarrhea? That's true. That's a better question. Jesus Christ. We were trying to convince Bobby that he should live in a place like this, like a small town where he's kind of like the mayor of the town.

Everyone knows him, but he does not deal with Hollywood bullshit. And when he wants to deal with that, he just flies back to Hollywood. Would that ever be an option for us? I went on Redfin with George when we were at Chick-fil-A and I was looking at some of the houses. So the amount of money that we spent on our house in LA would have bought us acres of land. Oh, man.

I mean, I could have my ranch out here. Oh. Yeah. Controversial statement, but I might like Tulsa more than LA. I love it here. That's bold. You love LA. Yeah.

I love it here, too. And that's, but you know, I can take it only like maybe a week out of the year like this. I like how, I don't know, it feels very peaceful. It has a really cool arts district. Like I don't feel like I'm completely in the middle of nowhere. It has a very like cool, like a indie kind of vibe to it. Yeah. I can't be in a state where abortion is illegal.

Oh yeah. I'd be fucked, wouldn't I? Yeah. So we would have had two kids if we lived here back in the day. Or two, I just find that to be, I don't know. And then, and also the, let me just say something about the white people. They're really nice. The white people are here are really nice, but what's the but no, there is no but they're

really nice. And there are some white people that you can tell they look past you. Okay. Like I'm, I'm telling you, this is not out of my own imagination, imagination. I think Gilbert just felt it. Yeah. I felt it at the airport. At the airport, right?

It's almost as if like, if you're walking down a hallway and there's some white people, God bless them, are walking towards you and somebody has to move out of the way. It's either they're going to be a collision or I have to move. You know what I mean? They're not moving. That's the only option. Yeah. I mean, they're not going to move.

They're not going to go, excuse me, and, and move off to the side. Right? Um, like they had some sort of wedding banquet or something here with the real estate convention. We like to see like, you know, white dudes in a suit, not it's like a tuxedo, but they were the, their cowboy hats and then they're with her, you know, an older white dude, but then, you know, a blonde younger wife and they're wearing a gown. They, they, they don't look at you. They don't smile.

They just walk past you, you know, babe, when you look at me, you don't see me as like your young hussy. Am I past that? You're like milf. You're not milf. You're not milf. This is where I always feel, this is where I always feel like I fucked up because I'm like, okay, like I like the idea when someone's older than me, then I can always be like the

younger wife. But with you, it's like you age backwards, so it's, I kind of fucked myself. No, no, the youngest looking 50 year old in history. No. Well, number one, I know I'm getting older because I'm sitting in the makeup chair a little longer. Oh, more makeup. Yeah.

Like I have these liver spots now that Mr. Miyagi had and other Asians. Yeah. I don't think he's exclusive. Not exclusive to Pat Merida, but, you know, because I used to see like Pat Merida in magazines or whatever if I saw him, you know, I was always kind of fascinated by the man and he has liver spots. I saw Getty won on Abbey when I did, he was long drug thong. Yeah.

And if I look at his face of some liver spots, it's just the old Asian men get it. It's from the sun, I think. Sweetie, all humans get it. You have liver spots? And he gets older. He will absolutely get it. It's an age thing. I've never seen a white dude have it.

Oh yeah. White dudes have it. White people have it. Really? Well, I mean, yeah, but that's, I'm getting old. And if you look at my mustache now, there's about 12 white hairs. But see that's super sexy. It is?

Yeah. Salt and pepper is something that I have always found attractive in young guys because some dudes get it, especially because it's really, Filipinos get it a lot. So some Filipinos get it when they're teenagers even or when they're like 14 years old. And they always have that salt and pepper kind of, I've always thought it was the sexiest thing. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not going to do what my own, my uncle's used to like at the age of 50 or 60, get a perm and then dye their hair.

So this pitch black hair with a like, like almost like a curly. Yeah. It's like unnaturally. And it looks weird. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I go, you're fucking to look like a clown. You know what I mean?

You're a yellow clown, man. Like it looks ridiculous. How do they greet you? Had all, you know, you know what I mean? And then they would like come in with like button up shirts with that were like unbuttoned. Did you have a favorite uncle growing up? Or aunt? No, no, I don't think that sucks.

I mean, what do you mean? Like favorite? Did you ever have like a really good relationship with any of your moms or dads, like brothers or sisters? Like who took you out? I had one aunt that used to make me and my cousins and stuff, she'll go to Manjele. I want to, I want to see your penis. So we'd pull out our penises and she would poke at our penises.

And you should put in a lineup? In a lineup. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I would always do a little giggle. You know what I mean? Like Pillsbury. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How old are you? I don't know. Is that weird? Oh, yeah. It felt weird. Yeah. Yeah. If you would have said like if you'd have said younger, maybe because like, you know,

we get touched out there all the time really. Yeah, but it's more over the pants over the pants. No, we wouldn't. This sounds weirder. What are you talking about? Gilbert? So like sometimes auntie greetings. Oh, yes.

I know what you know I'm talking about. They'll try to they're not going to go for it. They'll get close enough to the sun, but then then they expect us to turn away like and chase. And then like Filipino culture, it's a great touchy feely, maybe borderline inappropriate, but it's not unheard of for an auntie or an uncle to like my mom does this. She has this word. I'm just so tired.

It's okay. It's okay. What happened? What happened? That was the most like if a director was like, give us more. Was that exaggerate? I wasn't exact. That's how I yawned.

Dude, you're super tired. What is that? No, I do. I'm just a dramatic. You don't do more. Like the poster got unplugged. What? I was trying for a call back and had like it with all everywhere and then I went to stop

for a second. Okay. No, no, no, no. We're not going to go back. We're going to go. Just hold what yours. Thank you. We need to finish this explanation.

I know we do. I do. I want to go back. We got to answer it. So I let I just want to figure out what that note. I want to I need you to help me, Gilbert, right? So I yawned dramatically. Right?

Yeah. There we go. Okay. I would do it. And then he did does a toaster unplugged reference a call back. I try to figure out what the connection is. I think that was you maybe powering down like. But in the analogy, I was the rabbit.

So it doesn't make any sense. He forgot that essential piece of information. That dude, dude, I want you to see that feeling that you're right now, right? I want you to just wallow in it. Right? Yeah. That's the pain. Okay.

But that's you deserve it. He went up. He risked it though. You threw it out there. But that pain. Man. That must hurt. Yeah.

And I'm now remembering that when I did that open mics, 10 people in the audience here. Over half a billion. Yeah. That's sorry. We're not adding that out. Keep that in. Anyway, continue, babe. No, I feel bad because you were falling asleep to my.

But that's not why that wasn't why that wasn't why you can't just stop at our uncles and aunts touched us. And that's it. Yeah. Your uncles and aunts. Well, to be fair, like, yes, I got fucking knotted on my back multiple times. That side. That side of it.

That's true. In Filipino culture, whether or not we like it as children, we were supposed to just be okay with our aunts and uncles, like, kind of like play pretending that they would confound all us. And then it was supposed to be this big joke. Like, even if you're an adult, let's say, for instance, like, my mom will do it to my best friend, Jessica. And she'd be like, what is in there?

Huh? Yeah. Oh, that's the one. What is in there? Like that. And we're just supposed to like a giggle and like my mom has this word. She calls it matching baby. Yeah.

Like she will still come up to me and my sister. And then she will do that to like, like, matching baby, you know, the click, and you couldn't run. But you know, she does it to Gilbert and Gilbert just has to take it. Yeah. But it's like, if Gilbert's aunt or uncle did that to me, I would have to understand it on some cultural level and not be offended by it. Yeah.

It depends. There's some. Yeah. Because you don't know. No, I don't like that. That's weird. That's weird. And you couldn't run because then you would get unplugged.

That was funny. Thank you. I like that one. Yeah. That looks a joke, baby. This is this is why this is why I will never do stand up. Why I wouldn't be able to sleep at night at all the times you would like come for me in the same way you come for George, I would die, I think.

I don't come. No. Listen, can I just say something? Okay. When you tell tell jokes on podcasts or even in our private life, all right, it's it makes sense. Even even honestly, dude, wait, it makes sense. Even if like, you know, the switch or the if it's not that hard, hard of a joke, I can

still figure out like, oh, I see why or and I could I know when to pretend to laugh even with me. Yeah, with you. What he did made absolutely no sense at all, right? And the timing was weird. There was no confidence behind it because he questioned it. Go ahead. No, I can explain myself.

Can you explain that? Yeah. I might I think I've realized I'm not the star of this podcast, so I wait until the conversation comes to a like a logical end and then I interject and I'm still coming up with a comeback for like about a paragraph or two behind a minute later. Yeah. Yeah. So this one, I had a whole conversation in my head and then that was the punchline.

So he's saying he's handicapped. No, George, you and I are very similar in the sense that we cannot come up with comebacks on the spot. That's just not who we are. It takes a while for the information to travel from our brains to our mouths and we cannot compete with someone like this. So like, don't even try. I'm not good.

You're the rabbit. I'm still at the beginning of this podcast when we were talking about like Asian eyes being widescreen and I wanted to say, is that why Quentin Tarantino has an Asian fetish? Because he loves wide angle things and I'm still trying to figure out where do I get that? Where do I fit that in? I thought of it. That's not funny.

So that's why you know, you know, you know, it's a conversation starter. There's so many, listen to what I'm saying, George, okay? There are so many moments in my mind where I go, throw, say it, say it, right? But I do have a filter and in my head, 90% of the time I go, I don't think it's funny. So just don't say it. I think that the Tarantino joke and the and the and the toaster joke were ones that you just put in the bin. I, yeah, I, you just reminded me of Cancun now.

Okay. What happened to Cancun? He had pasta that was way too soft. I was at a table with you, Andrew Santino and Tom Segura. Somebody said, is this pasta al dente? I was like, there's got to be a play on words here. Why are you doing that? There's got to be a play on words here.

Oh my God. Don't ask me something. There's something the opposite of al dente, which is where like al gumbo, al gummy. I threw it out there because I thought, what did you say? No, the pasta here is al gumbo. And then everybody just kind of like paused. What do I mean? I remember now.

And I think I was drunk. Was I drinking? Uh, I, yeah, I had a couple of cocktails. Maybe you laughed at it. You don't remember. No, no, no. I think without the liquor, he would have died anyway. Go ahead.

What happened? What did Tom Segura and Andrew Santino do? It was a dead moment and then you asked me why I said that and then I said, I'm here with three comedians. If I can get one laugh, it'll last the rest of my life. And if I don't, then I'll forget it forever and it won't live with me. And that part was a lie. That part was a lie.

It's still with me. Every time I throw out a joke that doesn't work, I'm like, I had a chance with, but I still can't figure out the thought like I've tried to, I've tried to come up with a perfect answer for that. Like the perfect punchline for this. I haven't gotten it. What's it? It's more like Al Dente, more like Al Gambo.

No. What's the opposite of Al Dente? I'm not a play. Okay. First, number one. All right. I got you, George. I got you.

You have to know what kind of comedian you are. Right. And I'm not a play on words guy. I don't know. I don't know how to do puns. I don't know. I don't do any of that. Right.

Yeah. You know, my comedy is more mean sometimes. Right. And then I am silly. You know what I mean? I can do silly good too. Right. So number one, I don't think are you a play on words kind of a guy?

A little bit too much. So I think that's my weakness. Yeah. Number one, when you're around comedians, and this is, I think this is real, okay, you'll never go wrong with mean. Okay. Okay. But not, you know, don't attack Tom Segura.

You know what I mean? Like, don't do it. You know, I like your titties or whatever, you know what I mean? Not that he's fat. I'm just saying, you know, don't make fun of his wife or don't, you know what I mean? Yeah, you know, you could, I would love to see this actually if he had like a piece of acne on it. Well, like if I'm Tom Segura, we're at dinner, right?

I'm Tom Segura. George, just look at me. Okay. And I have a little piece of acne on my chin, but also I'm the waiter and I go to your chin, your temple, your temple, okay, so gumbo now gumbo, right, easy, baby, we're all unplugged you. Enough of this fucking silliness. Okay.

So what I'm saying is, is that if I'm Tom Segura and I have an acne on my, you know, I mean cheek, there we go, right? Think of a joke. I have one way. The waiter is also there. Yeah. Oh, this pauses al dente. Yeah.

Now you're conflict. What do you get? A lot of options. I know which one I know. I know what I would do. I would. I do too. You go first.

You go first. All right. Yeah. I would look at Tom Segura. I go. Do you want to? What's a gumbo? What?

No, what is it? Wait, al dente? Yeah. Do you want al dente or does your friend want al dente? You love that one. Yeah, I love that. I love that. That's a good one.

I love that one. I was going to go with the classic, who's your friend? Yeah, that's what I would do. We only have a table for six. Yeah, yeah. Your friend. Oh, we go, oh, we're going on the parmesan. There's some on his face.

Yes, exactly. Very good. Yeah. And then you would say? Yeah. Red pepper. We already have red pepper. We have one red pepper on his face.

So what's your joke? Put it on the spot after we do five. Every, every angle we already took. Could I have a straw to eat this pasta? What does that mean? What does it mean? What does it mean? It's so soft.

You can, you can eat it with a straw. No, I'm saying you have to do a reference on his fucking acting on his face. You could be like, are you going to eat that gnocchi and then point? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. See, I'm still on the pasta. Gilbert said that was still part of it.

All right, dude. I love it, dude. From now, for this podcast specifically, all right, I really want you to throw it out by the end of the night. And I want you to be mean. Okay. Let's go. I'm going to tell you something right now.

You can say whatever you want, even toward me, and I will, this is the rule for just for today. I will not hold a resentment and I will not be mad and you can go full mean. And if you are scared and go fat jokes all day. Yeah, yeah. But he's not fat anymore. That's me. If you're scared of dude to him.

Yeah, yeah. Fat joke. I am also available for practice. Yeah. And I want you to just like think you're a New York comic, you know, you're hanging out with Norton and all these guys, right, and you need to fucking prove yourself. Okay. So don't do it right now.

Right. Just relax. And don't edit. Don't go, I'm going to wait for Bobby to stop talking and then I will say it. Right. I want you to fucking interrupt me, man. All right. And just go for it.

Dude, you're not going to hurt me, dude. All right. Okay. It's the new rule. All right. Anyway, uh, so sex in the city, sorry, we did five acting jokes and he still did it. It's ridiculous. All right, guys, we are back.

So, um, the Johnny Depp number one, I'm always on the side of women, you're right, generally when it comes to victim victims and whatnot, right? But I am pro Johnny Depp on this same number one, right? He lost his career in a weird way. You know what I mean? You know, um, and I don't know, I just, it's when he's talking and I'm hearing her side of the story, it just seems far more plausible. His point of view, you know, do you understand?

Yeah. So I think what, um, should be surprised for the sit up for him is the fact that clearly he was like deep into like his alcoholism and addiction at that time. So essentially it's like, it's easy for her to be like, what is that squeaking? Sounds like a bird. Is it bird, babe? Oh, sorry. Sorry.

I'm scared about birds. Oh, sorry. It's good. It's going to pick up on the things. Okay. So like, basically he was like really deep into his addiction during that time. So you know, like I saw this picture that was put out there of him passed out with like ice cream on his crotch and his legs, like, and then it's like, you know, it's, it's hard

when you're in the throes of addiction to be like, what does he truly remember out of that? You know? So it's like, I would put myself in that, he's like, what, what, like you could basically tell him, you did this, you did that, and he'd be like, well, did I, you know? Can I say something about, because I, you know, I'm recently now sober. I did have bouts of drinking, you know what I mean, when I was out there and stuff like that.

And essentially though, I just think that when you're drunk, you're still essentially yourself. I do. I do. You were watching the bachelor when you were drunk and you literally came out of your mouth. And you were like, I think this is the greatest show in existence. Whoa. And you were such a fan of the bachelorettes and their little tiffs that they were having

with each other. Yeah. And, and, and you were like all the women on, on Clayton season, and you were like, this is so funny, but like genuinely enjoying it. But then the moment you got sober, you were like, why are you watching this crap? That's interesting because if you look at my iPad, like it's upstairs, right, downloaded onto my iPad is six episodes of the bachelor. When I was sober.

Ooh. So you finished a season. Yes. So you're wrong. Secretly. Yeah. I don't like openly admitting. I don't like opening a meeting that I am, right?

I like the bachelor, but you can openly admit it while you're drunk. Yes. I see. Okay. Understood. Now it's out there. This is your opportunity, George, to rip into me. I mean, there was a window.

I was just going to repeat exactly what Calyla said, Bobby loves the bachelor. Done. Oh, God, that wasn't mean even. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He just repeating what George, let me ask you a question. Yeah.

What is the meanest thing you felt like you've ever said about anyone? Well, he doesn't want to say it on this podcast. Well, like what's the meanest thing you can think about? I know what he, he said something very mean. I'm going to just tell you what. So I asked George in the car, right? I asked George in the car, I go, if Andreas needed a long, right, did you not, right? We talked about this, right?

Would you give him a long and you go, you know what? I had to strongly think about it. That's good. Maybe it's a friend, right? I go, Bryce, your cousin, he said, no, and I go, why? He goes, if Bryce dies, right, I could still represent the family lineage. We still share enough DNA that I'll like, I'll, I'll, I'll carry on the DNA that we share.

Right. So that's pretty mean. That is kind of horrible, George. The logic. But the logic is there because Andres dies. There's no one to carry it on. I'm proud of you for saying that out loud to Bobby. Well, Andres doesn't have cousins that can carry on the lineage.

Should we call that wasn't part of this, this equation. It was me. I was, I was the option. So yeah. Do you know that I've often thought about killing my own bloodline? Does that mean what? What does that mean? Um, I, like for the longest time, I used to think that, oh, I just might, I have such

a fucked up family that like, why would like, you know how you have, you have a desire, George, to like, continue or like to pass on. So your wild oats, as they say, like, I want, I've always felt a strong urge to do the opposite, which is like, no weird, this is, it ends with me. I am not going to perpetuate this horrible DNA. Oh, I'm, I hear what you're saying. I think you're saying you're going to slaughter your whole family. Yeah.

I was like, what? That's what it sounded like. Also a possibility. I don't think you would slaughter your sister. There's no way. No way. Sister is my everything. Or mama.

Or your mom. Or my mom. Or Jules. No. A spanker though. Yeah. Wait, is Jules? That sounded bad.

You said it a weird way. You inflected on him. Jules doesn't share bloodline with you though. She absolutely does. How? Because technically, her mom is like my adopted sister, right? Yeah. But in reality, she's my, she's my first cousin.

So Jules is my second cousin. Ah, okay. That's how. That's how. Even though I call her my niece because technically. Which one's the one that you discovered underneath the bleachers? That's Marianne. Oh, that's right.

You knew that. You just want to see. You're an asshole. Bro, see that? That's how you do it. I think in my head, I was like, is it bleachers or a bridge? It was bleachers. It was a bridge because of the troll.

I didn't say she was a troll. But the options you went with bridge? I'm just being honest with you. I go, did Marianne, did you just discover her underneath bleacher? What do you mean? Like a sporting bleacher at a school? No, no, no. It's close.

It was the swimming, you know, we had an Olympic-sized school called Abeliana and she didn't have a home to go to because she had abusive parents and she was part of the swim team and she slept every night, every night under the bleachers. So yeah, you asked this once a year, but she's thriving now. She lives in the United States. I love her. She's the best. She's the best.

We're still friends. Yeah. And you know, you hate her, but it's okay. Yeah. What? You hate her, but I don't hate her. I love her. Really?

Let me say something. When I was at the Denver Comedy Works, right, she came, right, and she hung out with me all night in the green room. Yeah. I think you used to have beef with her. You're okay. She was rude to me when I first met her. Yeah, she was.

That's all. Yes, she was. Come at me. What? Come at me. What's there to come at? You've become nicer. This guy's uplifting.

This guy, this guy. You would not be a good roast guy. Could you do a roast? It's kind of like Andy. He would do like Andy Samberg route. He just pretends to be mean, but it's nice. No, I could do a great roast. I just have to like think about it and write it.

Okay. All right. All right. You want me to roast you guys next to the next show? Yes. Yes. That would be fun. Yeah.

Right? Yes. That's going to be good. The next show will do a segment, George's Roasts. Right? And I want you to do three roasts, jokes toward each one of us. If I'm, but dude, you have to be equally as mean, right? I mean, you got to go after Gilbert.

Dude, there's so much to go after. Come on. No, you don't have to tell me that. I know. I like that energy. I know. I like that. Yeah.

Right? Already. But I just want to let you know, right? Already. I know your sensitivities. Yeah. No. There are certain things that I believe that I could say to you that you will make you

so mad. But I thought roasting was if you're not going for the absolute no, no zone, you're going for things outside of that. They go to have you been to the roast battle in I have, they go after dead parents that died a week ago. But that's still not no, no zone. That's still go. That's like, I know your sensitivities.

What's my sensitivities? Let's do that. Okay. I don't want to say it out loud. I want you to say it out loud. Maybe we'll end it up. I want to know. I want to see if you know.

There's certain things I learned to never talk about. And that's your you have an insecurity that you cannot act. Yep. I can also not say that you're not funny. Yep. Um, I, um, and those are the two main ones, but in a row situation, it would, the audience would be like, they'd rather go for physical or like, care about physical. I know that that's.

Yeah, that I have no, I've, I've immune to physical. Yeah. Yeah. I'm immune to dick size. I'm immune to my body type. I mean, immune to all of them. I'm dumb. Fine.

I'm dumb. What are your sensitivities? Yeah. I think maybe no, I don't think it's weight. I don't think I thought it was, I don't think either, I think maybe, maybe to some degree, like not really depends on how deep the, the, like any family stuff I'm trying to think if you went like family, I think I would freeze. I truly, if you went from like, if I did a bunch of Gabby, like you bit, if you bit

a bunch of like pussy jokes or, I'd probably be like, Oh, okay. Yeah. I think it's like, those are the jokes I want you to write down. Here's former. Gabby, Gabby. His former. His former boy. Right down Gabby.

Right down Gabby. Former can't sue now. George, what are you sensitive about? I think job, like, if I'm bad at my job, what, no, no, that's like you in comedy. It's like, it's something I take pride in. So if it, if it's something that I actually like acknowledge, like if the focus is slightly soft cause like right now where I don't have a monitor here, so I'm scared the focus is going to be soft.

If somebody notices that and it's true, then I'll be angry or if like Gilbert's camera is a little bit dark and like people notice that, that I'm super sensitive about that. I want to see you try to write roast jokes about that. That's hard. Yeah. That's very. His lighting is. That sucks.

This guy's lighting sucks. What's that? That would hurt you? It's something I take pride in. I think you're the worst producer in podcasting. No, you don't, but that would hurt me if you did. No, I really do believe that. You don't.

What? Why? What are your reasons? You want to know why young Jamie's better because he has Rogan. No. Oh, he went to you that the talent wasn't big enough. Oh, that was a pretty deep cut. Oh, that was deep.

Oh, very good. That's what I wanted and you you get a green light on that. You know what? Nick? That's the next part of the final form. Yeah, OK, that was really nice. Yeah. Wow.

That was quick. That was quick. So what did he say? It was so he was so fast. The reason that young Jamie is a better producer is because he has a better podcaster to work with. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

A bigger podcaster. Yeah. But the thing is, is that. Oh, here we go. You're doing the eyes. OK. You gave me the green light. This is the night.

That's fine. That's fine. This is the real. OK. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. George, you got him. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why you got him. You got him because that is his final resort. He resorts to the, this is a, this is a, and he has. Yo, make a T-shirt. Make a T-shirt. This is a T-shirt.

That's exactly what he does. He does the stutter thing when he has nothing. He has when he has no comeback. I do. I do have a comeback. Right. I'm just saying, I'm just saying if, if George was, you know, Rogan's, you know, I forget it.

You're right. This is a, this is a, this is a, this is a, this is a, this is a, you're right. You got me. I'm going to let that, I'm going to, you're paying for the dinner tonight. With the fucking credit card. Not the company card, my personal card this time. Yeah.

All right. Wow. You're right. Worth it. Yeah. Kind of like my heart hurts for you. Why? Because as soon as you went for the dissa, I was like, oh no, he has nothing.

Her body language. I saw her shoulders go. I know. It's disappointing. That was very disappointing. Yeah. And now I'm going to feel bad for a week. Why?

Why? Because it's like, I know I'm doing the best I can. I like that. I have the little audience, but the audience that I do have is I'd rather have my audience than Rogan's audience. Can I say something really quick? I like that. See, I think that's another skill you have is to reverse roast and make people feel empathy

for you right away, no matter what the situation is. Yeah. Because then you can just go to the truth. Then you, yeah. And the truth is right that there's nothing wrong with Rogan fans. I mean, I've, I've, I've friends with them. I've met them, you know, but I love the people that really love me. George, you know, and there's no, and the people that really love you guys too.

He's doing that thing. He does this. Oh, she does everything. It's over. It's over. Yeah. We have about 10 minutes left in this podcast. I'll be honest with you.

I told you, you had a green light, right? I'm just saying that you did. Unreparable damage. You forced him though. I did force you and that's my bad, but you fucked up. Can I give a fuck? Anyway, um, do you guys want to unhelpful advice? Yeah.

Or questions. Okay. Here we go. This is a good one. This was kind of the theme of the podcast earlier. Unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalila in Tulsa. Wait, hang on. Bobby's still on his phone.

Okay. Hey, Tiger Belly crew. I work at a predominantly white company and there's one guy who continues to make Asian jokes last remarks to me because I'm a Korean American. His jokes aren't even funny. So I can't give him the benefit of a chuckle, but I've been wanting to shut him down with jokes. He asked if I had a tiger mom who made me play piano.

What the fuck? I don't know this guy at all, but he says these things to me. He's ginger. So I feel like there's some potential for a joke. Do you guys have any good jokes slash comebacks? So this would be perfect for you since. Okay. So number one, he's a minority that's below you.

That's a good joke. No, that's just the truth, right? Come back. So it's like, you know, it's like, it's like a little person coming up to me and doing little jokes to me. I probably can't ride the rides. And it's like, I just let it do it. Yeah.

I would just let the little guy do it. You know what I mean? Yeah. That shit you could get away with 20 years ago, right? I honestly think because you're going to build resentment is you should set a boundary and you should pull them aside and go, listen, dude, it's like, this is how I feel about your job. I mean, no, I really like you as a guy, but it's like, it's just kind of like, you know,

I mean, it's not funny and I'm really sensitive about it. That's it. Yeah. If you used to just say, Hey dude, like nice try, but they're just, they're really unfunny. Like, No, don't say it like that because that could get him mad. I would do it. Why so why?

How do you deal with Andrew? What do you mean? This is also a ginger. Yeah, but they're like friends. Yeah, we're actual friends and I know things about him that I could destroy him. Okay. I do. I know things that no one knows, right?

And I could destroy him. He knows I can, right? So there's a limit, right? What are you writing down that you're going to cut? Don't edit that out. I want that out there. Keep that in. Right.

So and he knows things about me that no one else knows, right? So it's like, we have each other hostage. That's a friendship. That's a friendship. Right. So it's like, here's the deal. Find things out about this guy. Right.

Hold them hostage. Do ginger jokes back. Right. Are there a couple of good ones at the top? Yeah. What are some really good ones you've thrown at Santino? I can read some if you want me. I don't know.

It's not that. It's not even just ginger joked. It's like, um, you could do Irish jokes. Even though, uh, and, and Jacinda's Tino is, um, Italian, right? But it's like, I don't know what this dude looks like. But if you, you know, if I knew what he looked like, I would analyze his face. Right. You, you compare him, you know what I mean?

To other ugly people. Right. But what about if this guy is like a George and his delivery is not, you know, exceptional. All right. You know what I mean? It's like, I didn't say it was bad. I know what to do. I know what to do.

Right. I love a koala phrase. I can repeat. I can read between the lines. So you're under a Korean right at work. You're the redheaded. Hey, what's up, Mark? Um, I was just in the break room.

I saw you and I just thought, does this guy have a tiger mom or something? That's what you do. You just stare at them. No response. I was like, come on, dude. Hey, man, I'm really sorry. That was fucked up. That's it.

The people do that. They feel uncomfortable and they go. Sorry. I didn't mean to. Yeah. And then you let. No, because he had Dr. Kinn's career if you did.

But is that? No, because he'd have Dr. Kinn's career if he did. Oh, he's really coming for you. That hurt. Why did you say he could come in at any moment? That really hurt. He's so confused.

He has a better career. He's so confused. Dr. You know what? You know, on my list of things that make him sensitive, Dr. Kinn is number three. So you fucked up there. You did good there.

I mean, it's not Dr. Kinn. It's like other Asian guys that work more. I've always been sensitive about that. Right? Yeah. So that's a good one. I'm going to let you have it.

Wow. Babe, say this is a. This is a. This is a. Yeah. Anyway, thanks for listening. Yeah. This is a.

This is a. Yeah. Thanks for listening. Oh, no. Hey, Gil, give us another question. Can I just say there was no other place I'd rather be than here? Like I know I got to accept it because you made him feel uncomfortable. You got to accept this.

I don't have to accept anything. I can let him sit with it. I want to sit with it. There is no other place I'd rather be. There is no other people I would rather be working with. Fine. This is the honest truth. Like I believe you.

I believe you. I would say something finally sweet. I know. That's thank you. Oh, my God. The evolution of this. It was like, I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. There's no hard feelings. It's fine. All right. Here's. Hey, Tiger Belly family. I'm a huge fan of Tiger Belly.

Bad friends. I bet you're a bigger fan of Dr. Ken. And. After years of listening to all these podcasts and the unhelpful advice session of Tiger Belly, I decided it was time to write with a problem that is weighing on me. I have everything going for me in life.

I'm a young man going to a good school with a girlfriend, a family that I love, but I have a crippling gambling problem. It started with weekly poker nights with friends. You know, I began to lose money and after spending $200, I did not have. I thought I hit rock bottom that I continued to play $200 became 1000. This money is money. I do not have. I thought I was getting better, but tonight I just lost over $100 on blackjack.

I feel like a failure. I have everything going for me and I'm living this gambling problem. Eat me up inside and out. My heart is every time I think I've hit rock bottom, I'm back to gambling. That stops up. I already know that my answer. I think like Aquafina said the there was a similar question and Aquafina said, watch Squid games.

Right. Yeah. It's also, um, there, you know, Yohimbo, the Akira Kurosawa movie. There was a second movie called Sanjuro, I think, right. And in that movie, there is a man who had a gambling problem and he lost his wife and his kid in the gamble. He that's we gambled. Oh my God.

So now the his, um, his wife and his kid is with some warlord, right? And he lives in the bushes next to the temple where his wife and he can't see his wife and kids or whatever. And Sanjuro or Yohimbo helps him get his family back by slaughtering a bunch of people. You know, anyway, um, what should this kid do with number one? Do not gamble your wife or kid. No, don't slaughter. But, but, but the reason why that always, because I saw that as a kid, the reason why

that always struck me was it also growing up, we had a man who my parents hung out with name. I don't want to say his name, but he died. So fuck it. Mr. Yim and Mr. Yim had a gambling problem and it was devastating for the family. Okay. How so? It just was a problem that, you know, I could hear my parents talk about them and it just

was problematic like alcoholism, right? So gambling addiction is just like porn addiction, drug addiction, any addiction, right? It's just a symptom of the actual problem, right? But you have to treat it severely because, you know, I know it's $100 one day, right? But there have been millions of people that have lost their houses and their lives. I mean, just all their income, right? And they're borrowing money for family. It's just fucked up serious disease.

So David Cho had, you know, a gambling addiction. My dad. Your dad had one. Yeah. There's a reason why we were very rich and then really, really poor. There was no middle ground. My dad lost everything in a gamble he made. It's serious.

Yeah. So dude, it's not a light thing, dude. It's like, you know, I got rid of pornography, cigarettes, drugs and alcohol because it's like they're all, you know, just symptoms of the actual problem. And the actual problem is, I'm sad. Sing a song. I'm gladness and cheer. No, I'll sing a song.

Guess who's better than me? D-R-K-E-N Guess who's better than me? J-O-E-R-O-G-A-N What is that spell? J-O-R-O-G-A-N I have a question. Guess who's getting replaced? Send your resume to Gilbert.

I have, I have, um, una pregunta. Please, a pregunta. Um, my question is what level of rage would consume your being if you were to find out that George Kimmel left us to start a podcast and produce Dr. Kens? I, honestly, um, I, first of all, I just want to reiterate this, you know what I mean? Because it's now, you brought this up for, as a slam, but, um, I love that man with every ounce of my being, you know, I really do. I've always thought that dude was legitimately funny.

Even when I knew him back, I've known him for 20 plus years. I really have. Um, you know, when I was, um, you know, when I had that 17-year run of sobriety back in 2000, I had a real bad, bad, bad opium addiction with Vicodin and, you know, all that, that's type of stuff. And during my withdrawal, he was the guy monitoring me. Oh, that's sweet. I mean, so, um, I only have pure love for him.

So, um, if George left our podcast to produce his, I would just be, I mean, I would call Dr. Kens. There are other podcast producers way better, but if you want to go that direction and just be middle ground, then, you know what I mean? That's, but I would literally do that, but I would be happy to sabotage his, no, I would just tell him, I would go, why? It's like, if you want to, if you want a very low ceiling, yeah, get this guy, you know, you know what, George?

Let's, let's, now he's roasting himself. I don't like that. I don't like that. Bobby, let's do this or let's end like this. Okay. This is how I want to end. Okay. Please be affirmation.

Number one, I don't have any hard feelings about anything said today. I think that there was a fun podcast experiment, number two was experimental. Number two, I want to say that, um, this is going to sound so cheesy and so gross and that people aren't like, that's bullshit, but I do believe that you meet certain people at the right times. I do that. I believe that. And I believe that everything happens.

You know what I mean? The way it's supposed to happen. I do. I, I, I have a perfect life. I do. And I wouldn't change anything about my life. You know what I noticed about you that I never noticed before. You have these moments of genuine joy, gratefulness, like, and gratitude.

Like the two things that I never, whenever it's, when I would look at you, I'd be like, I don't think I've ever seen Bobby truly happy, like unconditionally happy. Like, so when I see you scooting around town and you're like laughing and, or you eat a piece of like a fricking, the ice cream salad and like you were genuinely like in present and happy. Yeah. I feel that. I feel when I'm on, like even today on set, you know, I'm talking to the kids and, you

know, one of the kids dads I fuck around with, you know what I mean? And I'm really genuinely having fun, you know, and, and I think people are like surprised that I'm so open and nice because I have way more credit to you. No, but I, there's all the, no, I know that's how. No, I, I'm genuinely like, so just blessed to be on that show. You know, I'm blessed that I have the kind of work that I have right now and everything's cool, man. Yeah.

You know, uh, and I'm blessed to have the fans that I have. Thank you for listening, guys. And we'll see you next time. Also one last thing. That was me done. That's me done. Keep going. Keep going.

Okay. We're done. Okay. I just wanted to say I love, I really do love Tulsa. And I do too. I love this. It's a great city. It's a great city.

Cute airport. Yeah. And what you guys are saying about people not noticing. I haven't noticed any of that. Everybody sees me and like they move out of the way of the hallways and everything. I don't know what you guys are doing. All right. Good night.

White men are special. I just don't, I, I, I haven't. That was our podcast. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Barely Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen to Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com slash

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