TigerBelly - Ep 348: Comedy is Violent

Episode Date: May 18, 2022

Bobby learns the value of mahogany. Khalyla can't hear Moana. We talk comedy allies & enemies, tainted tennis balls, Laugh Factory choke outs, and the most famous heckler comeback of the ...80s.   You can get $20 off your first purchase with promo code belly at www.seatgeek.com or on the SeatGeek app. TigerBelly listeners get 10% off their first month at www.betterhelp.com/belly See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly ad-free on Amazon Music, download the app today. Hey guys, we know why you're here. You want to know what happened after the podcast last week, so here is a quick follow up to that episode. As of today, we have not seen said 300 pages of documents. After the podcast, we were shown a couple of zoomed in screenshots of source code with no context.
Starting point is 00:00:25 Our email address is in the corner of one screenshot and the name Robert Lee on the corner of another screenshot. When we asked him who sent these to him, he said, Brian, we then asked to be connected to his team directly to get further clarity and he assured us that he would make that happen. We followed up with him for the next three days and finally on Thursday, we received a text from Brennan saying his team would prefer to handle this issue in-house and does not feel comfortable sharing information with Tiger Belly.
Starting point is 00:00:51 To recap, we have not received any substantial evidence regarding the accusations. We have not been in contact with a team. All we've seen are some screenshots sent to Brennan from Brian Callan. We're hoping to get some closure on this, but that's probably not going to happen. The good news is we have a great episode today and we'd like to start by thanking our sponsors. If you'd like more info or just want to use our Tiger Belly codes, the best codes in the game, you can go to seekgeek.com, code Belly, and betterhelp.com slash Belly. Enjoy the show.
Starting point is 00:01:46 I love your nipples. You thought I was going to say, I love everything about you, but except your body. What about my ass, though? Your ass is terrible. What are you talking about? I think your face, though, from that photo shoot we did, your face, dude. So good. So good.
Starting point is 00:02:09 But who took the longest for that photo to get the shot? I didn't want to show you up, but you know, I couldn't make anything you did, I didn't. It was tough. Can you not talk that much? Just not talk that much right now. That's what I was trying to do with my face during the photo shoot. I'm not trying to bully you, man, but just to talk so much. Nothing came out.
Starting point is 00:02:33 You sound like a certain somebody right now. It just looked like mayonnaise. I just have a shot. I have shot vibes right now, dude. Wait, okay. I would probably let the audience know that we're really only two hours away from having done the SHOP episode. Yes, but we all decided to change our clothes.
Starting point is 00:02:48 I changed my clothes. I want to look like a jellybean. All right, so. From the outfit? Yeah. Higher. Okay, obviously, we all agreed that we would probably have a debrief episode of each other's. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:03:01 All right, so, you know, I have to say, in terms of uncomfortable podcasts, I've done in my life. Yeah. That rivaled the Carlos Monsea one. The Carlos Monsea one was, for me, very uncomfortable because I love Ned, you know what I mean? And that was difficult to experience. This was just as uncomfortable. I kind of observed something about SHOP, and this is not a negative thing, is that when
Starting point is 00:03:31 the cameras are on, he really is sort of, he has an air about him that is, he's a certain way, but when the cameras are off because he stayed for another hour afterwards. Great conversation. He's a lot more relaxed and a lot more human and a lot more, like, down to earth than he would seem on camera. He's a thick, big, sweetie pie, but now, because he has to go to the bathroom twice, we were laughing about it. And he took, like, 10 minutes to take the bathroom trip.
Starting point is 00:04:02 It's either a nervous poop. No, I don't like where you're going. Did he bug us? Is that why he stayed an hour after? Sorry, SHOP. That's not what. Sorry, SHOP. All right.
Starting point is 00:04:13 All right. Hey. Hey. Yeah. Let's think that through. Okay. Let's think that. All right.
Starting point is 00:04:21 So you observed him in our podcast room where we generally do all our gossip, right? Did you see him bug anything? Well, he was, so he stayed for exactly an hour and a half extra. Yeah, it was great. And he kept going. And he was, he was, so yeah. So your theory is that he bugged our guest bathroom now. That's the time he was alone.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Wait, that wasn't. The only time he was alone. The amount of times. He's the one who told me. The amount of times I've talked about Brendon SHOP in the guest bathroom was only seven times. So we have those. Never.
Starting point is 00:04:52 I have never, first of all, I've never had any conversations to anybody in that area. Think about it. Have you ever said anything about anyone in a bathroom? But do you know how bugging technology works? What if it's able to like listen to us upstairs and everywhere? Oh, that's bugging technology? I don't know. I don't see that in any fucking show.
Starting point is 00:05:08 I don't know. Trust me, dude. If you plan a bug in the barn, you'll be able to hear it in the house. Honestly, though, if he did that. It was a long way for that. It was a long way for that, but the character was good. Yeah, it was good. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:05:23 Honestly, though, I would. I'd probably respect him if he was able to pull that off somehow. Yeah. He's not. I think that I feel relieved. I don't like being in conflict with other podcasters, especially because we are a community. I know that, I wish I could say this, but I'm not. You could tell there's divisions, right?
Starting point is 00:05:51 So when this whole thing went down, my phone, I got texts from allies. And then, but then like the ones that didn't text, you could tell like there was a division. Can you say who the allies are? Or no? No, because if I tell you the fucking allies, you're going to just deduce and go, oh, no, no, no, you could because it's not like I have a lot more allies than never called because they know that I'm uncomfortable. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:17 So I could tell you. There was one ally that I heard that was just a funny call. That was. Okay. So I'll tell you who did call to see how I am. The funniest phone call. Funniest phone call. It was right after age three.
Starting point is 00:06:30 It was hilarious. I'm calling to threaten you is what he said. Oh, yeah, it was Segura. The girl immediately after he threatened me, I'm calling to threaten you. And I'm like, come on, man, you know what I mean? And he asked me how I was. So Segura. That's it.
Starting point is 00:06:45 Ally. Maybe he called Brendan and said the same. Stevo. But maybe he called Brendan and said the same. Yeah, we can't say. We don't know their allies. That's a weird thing. Maybe they're good people that just want to make sure everyone was okay.
Starting point is 00:06:56 All right. Why don't you just compare notes with Brendan? All right, you're right. But that would hurt me. Let me just say something right, right? Because I'm not going to name who said this. There's three guys that said this on through two texts. I'm going to show you.
Starting point is 00:07:12 I can show you. Right. I'm not going to say who they are. Okay. But they said, we're team Bobby. Okay. Now, if they had texted me, we're team Bobby and then also texted Brendan. We're team Brendan, right?
Starting point is 00:07:24 Also texted them, we're also team Bobby to Brendan. Yeah, but if they did Brendan, right, then that's a piece of shit. That's a dude. That's right. That's a kind of guy. I don't like guys like that. That's a friend to all as a friend to none. Who said that?
Starting point is 00:07:39 Your dad ones? No. It's a popular one. It sounds like an old Frenchman. But don't you kind of think. The myth, though, when I went to the comic store at the end of the night. Am I crazy, George? Yeah, I was just thinking about the last episode, though, was the least funny we've ever had.
Starting point is 00:07:52 So it's kind of hard to. Which one? I'm just saying like they they say two hours ago. Oh, that one. Yeah, I thought it was hilarious. We found our moments. We found our moments. Um, when I was at what?
Starting point is 00:08:04 I just arrailed the whole conversation. No, no, no, no, no. How did that happen? Dude, you're a fucking conversation killer. All right. No, dude, I love you. Other people. I love you, man.
Starting point is 00:08:15 Did you express everything you needed to express? Honestly, I want you to be heard. Okay. I really do. I want you to be Amber heard. I just wanted to say when I went to we went to the comedy store for the Bad Friends live show, it was just reminded me how special I have it and how it made me really grateful for everything.
Starting point is 00:08:37 Really? Are you real? No, actually, it was like that was a magical I showed up to like I just like everybody like how much we built something we built something nice and even when you know me and Andrew did Austin, it was beautiful and nice and, you know, that's the last thing that I want is a war on people taking sides, but I do have to admit, I've been going to the comedy store and I am like, I'm like, I'm the flame. People gravitate.
Starting point is 00:09:07 Yeah. People are just coming to me and going, what's going on in a man and this is my take and this and that. And I guess, you know, in terms of gossip, it's fun. You know what I mean? Not to our mental health. It's not good for our mental health. We've been very unhappy in the house.
Starting point is 00:09:22 It's been disastrous. It's been just depressing and I just hope it's behind us. Well, this is now airing a week after you mean the show. It's behind us. TBD. TBD. But, you know, but, you know, at the end of the day, and I don't know if this is the right thing to say.
Starting point is 00:09:44 That pizza is so good. It's so fucking good. It's just, I hit, you know what, the garlic, the garlic just hit me right now at the back of my mouth. I'm so sorry I interrupted you, but it, the flavor just finally hit me. What's the restaurant called? Shout out. Blackbird.
Starting point is 00:10:00 Blackbird on Melrose. Great pizza. I'm so fucking sorry. That was just like, it hit me right here. No, I, but I get one to do to you later. Yeah. Okay. It's just a tit for tat.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Yeah. Right. Because I'm going to let that one go, but I get one. All right. I don't even know what I was saying. Something about, I was so enraged by the, the, the Blackbird plug. I forgot what I was saying. You're talking about comedy.
Starting point is 00:10:25 Oh, that's great. That's great that you guys weren't even listening. You know, you were a flame. You're, you're the, you're the moth. After that, I had another idea that I was going to say, uh, oh, I know what to say, because there's no way you can read my mind. It's like Dr. Strange. I'm complex and madness.
Starting point is 00:10:39 Did you see it? Yeah, I liked it. I haven't seen it yet. You see it? Yeah. I wouldn't put it in my top five. Oh, wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:47 It's number two. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I had a lot to, I had a lot to serve and Sam Raim. I know why you liked it because you love Sam Raimi probably. So they played a, they were very non-marvelous. That's why you liked it. All right.
Starting point is 00:11:00 If we're going to do a Dr. Strange multiverse, what's it called madness and multi, what's it? I don't know. Multi-man. Multi-man. All right. So, um, let's do a movie review. Okay.
Starting point is 00:11:11 Claude, I want your take too. I didn't see. You have to still give your take. So number one, okay, here's what I liked about it. All right. Obviously, Bruce Campbell. Great cameo. Okay.
Starting point is 00:11:24 He's in all of Sam Raimi's movie. And I guess watching the movie, I was just like, didn't give a fuck until Bruce Campbell came up on screen. So that's number one or number two, right? Um, it's not great, but there's some click, not cliche, um, because of the multiverse, you know what I mean, um, dynamic in the movie, you can now break so many different rules. Sure. Right.
Starting point is 00:11:50 So like in, if you haven't seen the new Spider-Man movie, then spoiler alert, but because of the multiverse thing, you can bring back Toby and, um, Garfield, Andrew Garfield, who I like as an actor, by the way, imagine Garfield, the cat for some reason, I'm sorry. The Spider-Man, yeah, imagine a port portal opens up, Toby Maguire walks in and another portal opens up and just an orange cat with lasagna on his face comes in, so if, so there's that, you know, I mean rule that they can have now. So now when you're watching, you know what I mean, uh, Dr. Strange, there's a couple of strange cameos in it.
Starting point is 00:12:36 You didn't think any of some of them were kind of cool though? No, I think it's weird. Interesting. Because it's like, I know why it's for like the applause, a full effect, because I remember being in the theater with Jules and seeing Toby and Andrew Garfield because it was such a surprise. People were, yeah. And we were like, I don't even know why, but you know what I mean, I was doing that, right?
Starting point is 00:12:56 With this one, me and Gene looked at each other and went, the last, the last reveal of a certain group of people, our audience went, they started laughing. Yeah, cause he looked like he was about to die. Don't. Oh, let's just give it away. No, don't give it away. I have to. It's two weeks.
Starting point is 00:13:13 This is two weeks in. Okay, fine. You're right. All right. So because of the multiverse aspects of these movies now, you can bring people in from other movies that have no relation to the Avengers or, right? Still Marvel though. Marvel, right? So you had Elastic Man, what's his name?
Starting point is 00:13:34 The last one we had John Krasinski as a doctor from the Fantastic Four. Fantastic Four guy, right? Mr. Fantastic. Mr. Fantastic. Yeah. He comes in and people were like, oh, right? People were like, what? What?
Starting point is 00:13:47 Yeah, yeah, yeah. John Krasinski. And then the last reveal is, it was a pan, like, I went, the music, did you hear the little music? It was Professor X. Patrick Stewart. Patrick Stewart. Yeah, he comes in with his wheelchair, but he looks like he's dead.
Starting point is 00:14:03 He's so old. He's very old. Very old. You know what I mean? And I love, you know, I love him as an actor. He's my favorite. There was a little bit of a concern there, right? But and then people were like, because younger kids didn't see X-Men, attachment.
Starting point is 00:14:20 So like, who's the old man, the crippled old man, you know what I mean? And that was a little weird, but yeah, you know what, you're right. It's not the best one. But not the worst. Still fun. Yeah, still fun. Still fun. What's the matter, George?
Starting point is 00:14:34 Nothing. Just make it sure. You know, it's funny, George. When I talk, as of late, I've been observing you. And there's a lot of drifting. There's a lot of looking at monitors, a lot of looking at your watch, looking at your gadgets. Am I saying stuff that's not riveting?
Starting point is 00:14:47 No, I was just making sure you were, everybody's in frame. Everything's good. I check it every five minutes to make sure everything's. Oh, excuse me, Carousawa, everything needs to be perfect on the screen. I'm always riveted by you. You're riveting to me, too, as well. And it's about a half an hour past my bedtime now. Is it really?
Starting point is 00:15:06 He sleeps early now. Oh, because you're daddy. Your daddy. This kid wakes up at six AM every morning, no matter what. He is cute, man. Yeah, and he, there is a little bit of resemblance, you know what I mean? I can see a little bit of George in him. Oh, thank you.
Starting point is 00:15:20 Um, I see the good part, too. Mostly, mostly your wife. Oh, there we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I've met. Yeah. Mostly your wife. I see some of you, but I see also the good aspects.
Starting point is 00:15:33 Okay. Yeah, yeah. That's what I wanted to say. You know, he is very cute and congratulations. He looks like he has all his limbs because he was doing a little arm thing. He just started walking and he bonks his head every hour, it seems. No. Does he cry a lot?
Starting point is 00:15:51 Uh, only like, we've got like little stairs, like a three steps of stairs that we can't like cordon off in the house. You set him down, he just walks up there, walks to the top, then falls off, cries and then you hold him for an hour or like a little hour and then like, as soon as you set him down, he goes back and like kids just want to like do the most dangerous thing possible now that he can walk. Would you let Bobby babysit, not with Kalayla, your son? I'd be honest.
Starting point is 00:16:16 For, let's say this, something reasonable, two hours. No. I don't know. Full day? No. 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. on a Thursday. That's a dirty, a bad friendship. Is he dropping off a diaper bag and the milk and everything?
Starting point is 00:16:32 Yeah. Now the dogs aren't here. I do have the cats. It's just me and your, and your kid. No Kalayla. No Kalayla. 12 hours, right? Of, and be honest with me and it won't hurt my feelings.
Starting point is 00:16:43 Bobby, are you willing to babysit this Thursday for 12 hours? Yes. Are you willing to? Yes. Will you pay attention on how to change a diaper? This is good. I'll take the class. And make sure you don't look away because he can roll over now.
Starting point is 00:17:00 Like if you've set him on something, it's very important. You don't look away. No, actually, it's a little easier now because he did just discover his penis. But he usually cries when he like, we change his diaper. Don't even bring that up, bro. That's crazy. In Bobby's eyes? He doesn't have it.
Starting point is 00:17:17 He doesn't have it. He doesn't have it. Maybe. We have an unfenced pool. He's like, he always, he hates getting his diaper changed. He always cries, but now he just discovered like, oh, really? Yeah. It feels good.
Starting point is 00:17:30 It just feels different. Okay. What? Not that he just. You're telling me. Because your eyeballs got so big. No, no. Because I just, but are you telling me that there's no sensation on the, on a child's
Starting point is 00:17:42 penis? It's just that we're like kids are discovered like, you know, like, they're discovering their body. I think there is sensation. Yeah. Okay. Well, you would assume, right? It's too fat.
Starting point is 00:17:51 What's your answer, George? Yeah. What? Bobby. This is kind of a good thing. It's good to be. This is scary because like he can fall off of things. Like he's, what do you think I'm going to put on the rooftop?
Starting point is 00:17:59 Question. Are you, would you play games? If you had to do this challenge? Would you have to? But here, here's what I would do. What's the strategy? He would be in here. Be created.
Starting point is 00:18:09 There is so much that's not baby proof in here. Yeah. Yeah. We put a crate. Oh my God. That's right. We have a dog crate up there. We'll bring the dog crate down.
Starting point is 00:18:21 Is that against the law? I think it's just more cultural. You just throw a, throw trees to it. See the trials of Gabriel bananas. I'll throw nuts. I don't know. I don't know. An animal.
Starting point is 00:18:30 A baby's eat. I'll throw nuts. A banana. He's half Asian. He must love bananas. He loves bananas. Right. That's just for like, that was his main word.
Starting point is 00:18:38 I'm not going to peel them. So I'll just put a full banana in there. Maybe not ripe. And, um, yeah. I'll throw nuts in there. Right. And I, dude. I think he doesn't need underwear.
Starting point is 00:18:47 Oh. Right. And I won't look down below. Right. And we put the cat litter in there. Easy. Easy. What?
Starting point is 00:18:56 Everybody, the father of my cat. Right. Can he scoop? Yeah. Yeah. He's walking. All right. So if it was good enough that he can do what cats do and scoop it.
Starting point is 00:19:06 Like cover. Yeah. I'll teach him that. I'll bring Gooner in here and Gooner, teach him. That's actually more impressive. Bobby trains your child to be potty trained. Like a cat. The answer is the truth.
Starting point is 00:19:19 The truth is this. And this is honestly the truth. If there was something vital that you and your wife had to do, I was the only available person to see your kid, right? And you were like, I need just for fucking five hours, right? I promise you when you come back from there, whatever you need to do, your kid will be alive in what state alive. We don't know.
Starting point is 00:19:44 But alive. Like in a coma. But he will be alive. You were the last person possible. I would do it, but I'd be sweating bullets. Why would I be the last? What is the image? No, you just made the scenario.
Starting point is 00:19:58 Yeah. Are you fucking out of your mind, dude? If you had, if you told me five hours, dude, literally, it's just literally me in front of the baby, holding it on a couch and going, what, what, what, what, what, what, what? Bathroom, bathroom, right? And I would, I would probably change it 52 times just in case. Every hour I would, 45 minutes I would change his underwear, right? I would give him, are you hungry?
Starting point is 00:20:24 It would just be complete attentiveness. Are you out of your mind? I'm the safest guy you could fucking bring your kid to because I'm so scared of hurting it in any kind of way. That's true. Yeah. Um, okay. And I need to prove a point.
Starting point is 00:20:38 When you come back, I'm like, I told you. Throw. Yeah. Can you give a baby hot dog? No. Yeah. Ask me questions. Oh, this is good.
Starting point is 00:20:48 This is good. And I'm going to give you the real answers. And you ask them to George because you know more. Yeah. What is name one hazard? Like name one. You don't have to even the corners of fucking tables. Okay.
Starting point is 00:21:02 Is it? Of lower tables. Yeah. Of lower tables. Yeah. Big hazard. Yeah. I'm going to come up on a couch or something like that and fall off so that would be a
Starting point is 00:21:13 hazard. Food wise. Food wise. An unripe banana. I know. That was just a joke for comedy purposes. Right. What aren't you going to feed him?
Starting point is 00:21:21 Heroin. Okay. True. That's right. So is that not on the list? Heroin. Any drugs is on the marijuana. Nothing.
Starting point is 00:21:31 Even a little three milligram edible gummy. What kind of fruits shouldn't you give? I probably would stay away from fruits. No, you can get fruit. But what can I say? Just because I don't know. I would Google it. Right.
Starting point is 00:21:42 I would Google everything. Right. But offhand, I don't know what he's allergic to. Guess. Guess what fruit you shouldn't give. What shouldn't you give? A baby. A baby.
Starting point is 00:21:52 Durian. You know what? A gas. Durian fruit. I wouldn't give my baby. Right. I wouldn't give them an unchopped pineapple because he could get poked. Spiked.
Starting point is 00:22:06 Correct. If I gave him a whole pineapple, he's like puncturing holes in his heart. Or a cactus for that matter. I don't know if you can eat those, but I don't know if that's a fruit, but looks like a fruit. You can eat it. Nopales. Nopala. Right.
Starting point is 00:22:22 What's the one that you couldn't eat? I'm going to guess a lemon. You can give them lemon for fun. People do that. Yeah. I saw that on YouTube. I love those. But it seemed like they didn't like it.
Starting point is 00:22:35 They were careful with things like grapes. Why grapes? You know, choking hazards, not cutting the grapes. Them eating it whole. Yeah. Whole grape is really dangerous. Yeah. Whole grape is very dangerous.
Starting point is 00:22:47 And that's something that, you know, here's the thing, I didn't think that through. Did you know that? I was still on the pineapple. Think about it. Yeah, think about it. Yeah. Cut yourself. Ask me another question.
Starting point is 00:22:59 What's the age cut off for honey? I think, can you have honey now? Oh, for the first year, you're not supposed to at least the first year. That was a weird one. George. And I don't understand that one. Botulism. George, give Bobby a scenario.
Starting point is 00:23:10 Typical scenario, George Kimmel the father goes through. I'm going to see if he can navigate it. Ask me a scenario question. Time is money, baby. Just go through your day. Hey, go through your literal day in the morning. I already went over like him trying to roll over when you're changing him. We've got dog doors upstairs or dog.
Starting point is 00:23:34 It's dog proof upstairs dog gates. So that might be useful because as soon as he finds a stairs, he'll try to climb up it or down it. Yeah. And start rolling. I'm always afraid of hot liquids around babies or like carrying like when I'm boiling something. I'm like, I'm always because I had a, an ex boyfriend who had been scalded on his chest and his arm when he was a baby and the scars were really great.
Starting point is 00:23:58 Like he needed a skin graft and stuff like that. But whoever did that, whoever did that should be arrested. Well, no, he was apparently a toddler and he was just circling his mom while she was boiling water and she was transferring something. It somehow just got on him or something. Yeah. Yeah. I would not, if I'm boiling eggs, no baby, no baby around.
Starting point is 00:24:19 So is that good? Yeah. All right. So give me another scenario, please. Oh, my God. How did the main, do you know how to burp a baby? What are you the step? Oh, he's way past that.
Starting point is 00:24:32 Yeah. I'm way past it. I already knew that. So that's why I don't even have to answer that. But no. No. The problem is right now. I will not do that.
Starting point is 00:24:40 If I was a baby, burp me. Oh yeah. Okay. I mean, my gut instinct is this. Yeah. Be real about it. Be real. Talk us through it.
Starting point is 00:24:48 What you're doing. What is this? A Samoan baby? A big baby, you know what I mean? What is that doing? Oh, perfect. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:04 And then. All right. I loved a baby. I liked it. So, um, all right. So that's it. I know how to do it. You would trust them.
Starting point is 00:25:16 Yeah. Generally, you would trust them. Now, if I, if I had an orphanage, I don't think I'd be able to do that because I think like one of them will turn into the Riddler. That's my fear. Okay. Yeah. That's a big responsibility.
Starting point is 00:25:31 That's a big responsibility. That many. One kid is a lot, babe. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine having like, you know, you go to like an orphanage in Eastern Europe, Europe, you know what I mean? You're Ukraine, but like Eastern Europe and, you know, a poorer country.
Starting point is 00:25:49 I think I saw a doc. I did see a documentary. I don't know what it's called about, you know, of an orphanage. I saw that one. Oh, it's fucked up. It's terrible. It's fucking terrible. It's like two women, 60 kids, they're going in and out of rooms.
Starting point is 00:26:02 You know what I mean? Not everyone. You know, some kids are getting neglected. It's just a terrible thing, man. But yeah, overturn Roe versus Wade. Go ahead, see what this country turns into. But anyway, what are some topics to talk about, Gil? I mean, the hot thing right now, I didn't get to watch it, but everyone's talking about
Starting point is 00:26:23 Amber Heard's testimony. It finally came out. I don't know too much about it. I've just seen the snippets on the TikTok and stuff, and they're funny, but I haven't. I said this on Trash Tuesday, I'm like team neither. They're both so messy. She's a messy, messy addict, and she seems to have some very deep-seated personality disorder. They're both just fucking.
Starting point is 00:26:50 I mean, yeah, I just, you know, I actually don't find it entertaining. I don't watch it because it's just like, it's sad. It is sad. What pisses me off is Disney taking away parts of the Caribbean from him. Before the trial. Yeah. I mean, it's like, and now he refuses to ever do it. I mean, that's such a great move on his part, though, to be like, you couldn't pay me enough
Starting point is 00:27:19 money to ever do that role again, which is like, I'm the final say in this. But whoever PR person told him to say that, right, George? I mean, people just, these companies jump into conclusions, right? And I guess they're pressured into taking a side, right? And they make gigantic decisions based on that pressure. And I just think that's terrible to do that. You know, it's like, you know, there's something called evidence, there's something called a court of law, there's something called, you know what I mean, hearing people's point
Starting point is 00:27:56 of view or side of the story or whatnot, but it's just like, you know, hopefully those days are slowly over, you know, like I said this before, it's like, you know, there was this one lady in Nebraska and she was this peak COVID and she refused to put it wear a mask on in the grocery store and she started coughing in people's faces, right? And she was fired from her job. One has nothing to do with the other. I would have to agree to some extent, unless let's, I think we should go to prison for assault.
Starting point is 00:28:31 That's assault. Yeah. But what if it's a white teacher in an all Asian school and out in public? She calls, um, age, she calls them fucking the C word. What's that? What is that? Yeah. Qingcheng?
Starting point is 00:28:47 Yeah. Qingcheng. I don't know about Qingcheng. Well, she's caught on tape saying that over and over again, because let's say somebody stole her parking spot and she says something along the lines, get the fuck out of my spot, you CC. Qingcheng. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:01 And, and then you find out that her profession is actually teaching an elementary school of Chinese kids. Chinese kids. Yeah. Okay. That's a crazy scenario. That actually happened. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:12 But in that scenario, then yes, because, you know what I mean, one, you know, that relates to her job, right? Yeah. So that's one thing, right? But, you know, not all cases are like that, right? Like, you know, um, I mean, I, I don't know how I feel about this, but maybe, you know, there are a lot of people that were on January 6th at the insurrection and they were fired from their jobs.
Starting point is 00:29:38 Now, what one has to do with the other, I don't really know, right? And I don't know if that's. What is a federal offense? Yeah. It's a federal offense, sweetie. And number two, it speaks to someone's character when they're defacing and hurting and doing all of this, like turning violent publicly on camera. If I see that and that's an employee of mine, I don't want that.
Starting point is 00:30:01 If someone was there watching from a distance, I'm like, yeah. But there are, no, there have been people there though that didn't do any of that stuff. Then I think that's kind of that walked in though. Walked inside. Yeah. Like what's going on here? A tourist. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:15 Yeah. You know, a tourist, you know, you're. Where's the group leader? Wait, if you were there just by accident, you didn't know that there was an insurrection plan. I'm dumb enough. I probably would be like, Hey, there's a special going on in the fucking chamber. A sale.
Starting point is 00:30:27 You know what I mean? This is Black Friday. Yeah. It's a Black Friday for American flags. And I would walk in there. What's going on? Why is that cup bleeding from the face? Hey.
Starting point is 00:30:36 The only Asian here. And then next week, you lost Magnum PI. Wow. I was at a sale. I was at a fucking flag sale at, you know what I mean? In Pelosi's office. Yeah. But yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:30:49 I mean, I don't know, man. It's an interesting. What? Go ahead. Well, speaking of attacker, I don't know if you guys maybe this on your other podcast, but did you guys comment on the Dave Chappelle attacker situation? I think they did on bad friends. Bad friends.
Starting point is 00:31:04 Yeah. Okay. Anything else? What did you think? Kalyla? Oh, that was so scary. Scary. That was kind of funny.
Starting point is 00:31:14 Oh my God. He had a replica gun with a fucking knife. That's why it's funny. If you're going to stab someone, why would you have a gun? How am I going to sneak this knife into her? Here. Yeah, let me get the most discreet knife. A gun knife.
Starting point is 00:31:28 Yeah. It's kind of silly. Yeah. I just, you know, it just reminds me. I just think that attacking anyone performing is such a no-no. It just sounds, it's like even when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars, it's like, you should know better, man. He's performing.
Starting point is 00:31:48 He's doing a job. What the fuck are you doing? It's like, I hate it. Do you want to revisit? But there is that old, have you ever seen the comic from the 80s? It's on YouTube. The guitar comic from the 80s. Oh my God, that's my favorite video.
Starting point is 00:32:09 What's his name? So there's a guitar comic from the 80s and he's being heckled and he just snaps on stage. So bad. And he takes his guitar and smashes it over the fucking patron's head. Oh, I see. 50 times. You know what I mean? So bad.
Starting point is 00:32:25 And then the audience goes, what the fuck are you doing? And he goes, okay, I guess show over, guys. And he walks off stage like, that's also terrible. I shouldn't have said it's my favorite video. There's a line there. What? That's my favorite video. I just said it was your favorite.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Look at the video. You've never seen it? I mean. Oh, you got to see it. This guy? Yeah, this is amazing. Oh, let me rewind it all the way. Rewind it all the way.
Starting point is 00:32:46 From the beginning? Yeah, from the beginning. They should start circulating this for hecklers again. Rewind it. Push, push, pause. All right. What would you like to say? All right?
Starting point is 00:32:59 Yeah. All right. Hey, hello. All right. What's your name? Kenny, man, what's your name? Yes. Oh, you ain't shit.
Starting point is 00:33:10 Yeah, I'll tell you, if you guys don't shut the fuck up, about 200 people are going to beat the living shit out of you. All right? Because we got people can just take you out here so fast. It'll be like you out in the parking lot going, huh? He does a hackiest joke here. It's still funny. No, watch, watch.
Starting point is 00:33:31 It's okay. Stay. I'll save your lives and play. Oklahoma's okay. It's like, you know, why not be Nirvana, man? If I got it, it's okay. I don't know if you're in Oklahoma, is that okay? I guess if you were gay, you'd be in Oklahoma.
Starting point is 00:33:46 Kind of like this guy. But you know. No, really, don't mess with me because I don't come down to the bus station and slap the dick out of your mouth when you're working there. Oh, he's being serious. Hack. Oh, get on up here, motherfucker. He's joking.
Starting point is 00:34:04 Oh. Give me security. I'm sorry, man. The guy fucking came at me. What do you think, folks? No way. He came at me. That was unnecessary.
Starting point is 00:34:25 Oh, my money back. I want more money back. Oh, my God. What's that stuff out there? You want your money back to the greatest show you've ever seen, asshole? Ever. Ever. I also just want to say that, you know, like before the movies, they give you like trailers.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Before every comedy show, they should just show this as a trailer. People like Heckler don't even think about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did you think of that, George? I loved it. Don't heckle in Oklahoma. Bro. Yeah, it's pretty violent.
Starting point is 00:35:04 It seems like it's not the first time he's used his guitar in a human either. Yeah. He looks like a pro. He left the frame. He left the frame. You can't see him in the video anymore. Yeah. Hits the guy, comes back under the frame and then says, the guy came at me.
Starting point is 00:35:19 I know. The guy came at me. We're thinking he's tried to win the audience. Am I right, folks? Everyone's like, no. You assaulted somebody, dude. Like somebody's going to go, yeah, kill him. It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:35:34 Wow. Have you seen anything like that in person? No, but I've seen, no, but I like hearing stories about like little tricks people do on comics. Like, so there's this one story. There was a comic named Joey Cayman, right? And Joey Cayman's closer was he took two tennis balls and stuck it in his mouth because he had big cheeks and he would just do this thing.
Starting point is 00:35:55 Right? So I guess Joey Cayman went to the bathroom and the comics saw the tennis balls sitting there. Right? And they pissed on them. They put on their asshole. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:07 And so now Cayman pulls out the fucking things and everyone's laughing, but the comics are on the ground. Just, you know what I mean? Dying laughing. I just love stories like that. You know what I mean? And they probably never told them. I don't know what happened.
Starting point is 00:36:21 You know what I mean? Because I'd be so pissed off. I'd be so pissed off. Yeah. Is it true that you have been body slammed during your show? Oh, yeah. What happened? Have we ever talked about like what led?
Starting point is 00:36:33 Not what led to it, but you alluded. It was, do you mean the New Mexico show? Oh, I thought it was Long Beach for some reason. Oh, I've been to the beach a couple of times. Jesus. Oh, you know, in Long Beach, I got body slammed. Yeah. So some guy picked me up on my neck and threw me on my back and I got concussed.
Starting point is 00:36:50 Oh, babe. And I got the wind knocked out of me. No charges pressed. No. Why, why you just accept that that's, that's a hazard of the job? That's crazy. No, because I was naked on top of them. That's usually the reaction.
Starting point is 00:37:03 You know what I mean? Wait, wait. Some people. Hold on. Am I right, folks? Am I right, folks? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:11 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and he picked me up and be honest with me. Rightfully so. Wait, so you, you, you heckled him first. It turns out. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Same thing happened at the ice house. Oh, lessons were not learned the first time.
Starting point is 00:37:29 No, no, it takes me to. Yeah, it takes two. Another time I was on top of another guy. It's always men. Yeah. I never do women. Um, and he pushed me into the wall of the ice house, but the ice house had this nail sticking out.
Starting point is 00:37:50 Oh my God. Right. And I have, see this? Yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah, yeah. It hit, you know what I mean? I hit the wall and it was gushing blood, but I went good night and just my, like I look like Carrie.
Starting point is 00:38:05 You know what I mean? Just blood just dripping down. Yeah. I've had a lot of that kind of stuff happen. Jesus. Yeah. Thankfully you're such a nimble guy. You're so agile.
Starting point is 00:38:15 Yeah. Comedy is violent. Yeah. I mean. One time I said this comic Charles Kosar and we thought he was going to die. I was sitting, I was a doorman and I was at the comedy store and I was watching him perform and I was talking to somebody and I turn around and there's this gigantic biker and he just knocks, you know, he was an audience member.
Starting point is 00:38:36 And it was like one of those like, Charles Kosar, I don't know why I'm laughing. You could, you know, he's like, you know, a nice guy, right? His eyes rolled back and he did like a convulsion and he's hit the fucking stage and we were, he got a big laugh. I don't know why. That wasn't that. I'm gonna die. No, but no, I didn't get a laugh.
Starting point is 00:38:59 But they never caught the guy. The guy ran out on Sunset and disappeared. Is he okay though? Yeah, he's fine. Like, you know, you, you see, you know, or when, or when I wasn't there, I wish I was, I would have, I would have spent $1,000 when George Lopez strangled Carlos Mencia at the laugh factory. This is in public?
Starting point is 00:39:18 Yeah. He strangled him in the lobby of the laugh factory. You know what I mean? Is there a video? No, there's no video. But I'm in, it was one of those. That's the thing is you miss out because you're on the road or you don't call in that night. Magical things that happen.
Starting point is 00:39:32 You know what I mean? I just love stuff like that. Like the Michael Richards. Oh my God. I remember it. So I remember that night I was at the comedy store because I don't really play the laugh factory, you know, a lot. And I remember comics coming back from the laugh factory and going, you can't fucking
Starting point is 00:39:49 believe what happened. Michael Richard did this, hanging people in this and that, right? And I was like, oh, I wish I fucking missed a cultural, you know what I mean? Moment. A moment, right? It's just like you miss it, you know? But I do, but then sometimes you witness it. You know, I witnessed when Richard Pryor used to come in and we used to carry him on stage
Starting point is 00:40:14 because he was on a wheelchair and he, you know, just what a magical, cool thing. You know, I witnessed when I used to work the door in the 90s and when George Carlin used to come in and watch him perform those magical kind of things. And they're in my memory forever. And he used to call me Mr. Lee and he never knew my first name, but he would remember my last name every year because he used to play every year, like three years in a row and he would go Mr. Lee. And I used to be like, like my eyes, he remembers my name, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:40:53 And it was just like, I think at the end of the day, because now, you know, I go out, people know who I am and, you know, I have fans and this and that, but my memories are going to be from these, when I was young and in awe of it, all of it. I no longer am in awe of any of it, you know, but I used to have this whimsical, just bright side, I mean, I'm, you know, I mean, I'm in a magical, you know, anything can happen. Wow. And I want some of that back, you know, I just, I lost it, you know, but I think that's what a lot of young comics back in the day are.
Starting point is 00:41:38 So no, sometimes I'll see a young comic, sounds gross, but, you know, I was at In-N-Out and this Hispanic guy came up to me and he goes, yeah, my name, I forgot his name, but he goes, I'm an open mic or anyway, I know you're Bobby Lee, but, you know, someone stole a joke from me. I'm so mad, you know what I mean? And I was able to talk him off the ledge, you know what I mean? Like a lot of comics would be like, get the fuck, I'm eating my hamburger. Not me, I just looked at him and I went, all right, this is what that means.
Starting point is 00:42:11 This is what people, you know what I mean, what you need to do and all these little things. And by the end of it, he just kind of had this like, thanks man and like this kind of wonderment about him, you know, I don't know. And when I see that in him, I'm like, yeah, that's what I used to feel, you know what I mean? And I don't feel that anymore. It's dead. Maybe you feel that for other things.
Starting point is 00:42:34 Like what? I don't know, watching George's child for 12 hours. The prismatic charred. Yeah, I mean, that's right. I do see, I've noticed that watching him play, you have a twinkle in your eye when something happens on that screen with Stardew Valley. Yeah. You know what I like?
Starting point is 00:42:53 He was really angry that he didn't realize how valuable mahogany trees were the other day. Why angry? And why he was angrier is that I know how valuable mahogany trees are. Can I just say, can I just say something? All right. And when I originally played the game, right, there was no mahogany trees, right? When mahogany trees came at the 1.5, he put like a DLC in there, right?
Starting point is 00:43:21 So when you have a mahogany seed, you don't know what to feel like. I don't need another tree. I have pine oak, you know, all the other trees, why the fuck do I need? And so I just didn't plant them, you know? And then one day I was like, I needed wood and I was chopping down, I guess I'll just chop this stupid mahogany down that I found in the forest and it gave me hardwood. Now, listen, okay. In the original game of Stardew Valley, hardwood was so difficult to find.
Starting point is 00:43:54 You would have to go to the magic forest. There's a secret forest, right? The only way to get into the secret forest is your pickaxe has to be, no, your axe has to be at a certain level. I think it's silver. You need a silver pickaxe, right? To upgrade your pickaxe, right, it costs money. You have no money, right?
Starting point is 00:44:12 So anyway, you have to go all the way to the secret, there's only five stumps, it only gives you four hardwood, right? And then every day you're like, because to build a truffle maker, an oil maker, right? It takes 20, it takes 20 hardwood. I know, just you got me started. It takes, I will, it takes 20 hardwood to make a fucking truffle maker, right? You also need slime, and I think you need coal, I don't believe it, right? But anyway, so imagine because you can't just have one truffle maker, you need 10, right?
Starting point is 00:44:45 So every day going all the way to the secret, right? So anyway, that's why mahogany trees are cool. And when I discovered that, I was like, oh, I could just plant a thousand of these mahogany trees. And I haven't been to the secret forest in weeks since I discovered that. It's amazing. Amazing. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:11 You should see, that's why, if you saw my farm, right, they're going to just say one last thing about my farm because I'm just so passionate about it, okay? Yeah, I feel that. If you're going to condescend me, I'm not going to do it. I'm being supportive. I don't think, I don't like your derriere eyes. I'm the one who told you mahogany trees are good for you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:29 Oh, no shit. I cracked your hardwood code. Yeah, you did. Yeah. So, just when I originally played the game, right, what I would do is I would use every piece of land to farm crops because it's all about making money, right? But not this time. In this one, I've sanctioned off a chunk of my fucking farmland for a forest, right?
Starting point is 00:45:48 So I can grow mahogany trees in all the trees so I can trap down wood and so that I can have my chickens, my ducks, and my rabbit, right? So they can frolic freely in a wooded area with a bunch of trees. I really like that. Yeah, yeah, so anyway. It's really cute. What's great about the last thing I want to say, what's great about the game is it's just not a farming simulation.
Starting point is 00:46:12 Anyone listening about Stardew Valley, right, it's, you know, it's a game of timing. There's a lot of creativity because there's just so much, you have so much farmland and there's so many things to build, where to build it, where to design things. You can move things, you can now paint buildings, you can, you know what I mean? There's certain fences that like when you make, in two years, they deteriorate, right? So instead of putting a wood fence in, you put a hardwood fence in because they last longer, right? So it's just all these little things that you equate and it's a great game.
Starting point is 00:46:46 Why didn't you ever become like, would you go like city planners or urban planners? You could have been a great one, sweetie. Because comedy pays more. Yo, kind of true. Yeah, yeah. You would get no pussy as an urban planner. Yeah, you would. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:01 Well, kind. Mine. No, you, dude. Okay, pause. If, okay, same look, same Bobby, same Bobby Lee, instead of seeing this guy, was he just as funny? Uh, no, because, no, because I had, I had to develop my comedy, so this is good. This is good.
Starting point is 00:47:18 This is good. This is good. Yeah. Yeah. So Bobby, you same guy. Yeah. Maybe the same. I mean, did comedy develop your look?
Starting point is 00:47:26 No. Was it an urban developer or a, is that what it is? Urban planner. What do you call those? Urban developer planner. A developer. Right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:36 So I'm going to school with all the developers. Right? They're pretty, they, they probably, not all of them are in the Roxy music and like, you know what I mean? The Velvet Underground. I mean, I, I can't explain it. I just don't think they do. Right?
Starting point is 00:47:47 I just think that they're a little bit more like, so why do you get Harry style tickets? You know what I mean? Yeah. But that's never been you. You were in high school and not doing comedy. You were, you were already so much. I know, but I'm just saying, but the path already was set that I was not going to be an urban planner.
Starting point is 00:48:05 Yeah. But you already had this like, you already like, you already fashionable. You were already kind of like this. Okay. I would hide that. Funny dude. I would hide those aspects of me when I'm in urban planning school. And where do we meet in urban planning school?
Starting point is 00:48:18 No, that's the thing. Okay. We meet the way we fucking met Tinder. And when you read, he's an urban planner. I don't think you would be like, how about this? Instead of saying, instead of seeing him on Matt TV, you just saw maybe one of his cities that he planned. Let me tell you that I would give me no bigger boner if you were like, this is actually
Starting point is 00:48:36 a thing I developed. I love talented people. I honestly, you will not believe how many mongrels I swiped right on Tinder or like, you were kind of the hottest one, to be honest. I was not very. Oh, so if I went, we'll see, we're here here on Western and Olympic. Do you see anything? You'd be like, what?
Starting point is 00:48:56 I ain't developed it. Oh my God. You're a pussy when you're wet. Boner. Yeah. You see that water fountain? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:05 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Lira, I wanted to put the waterfall on the other side of the street, but not me. I put it in the grove. And grove, mind you, only grove on the street. I'm the one that did that. That intrigues me.
Starting point is 00:49:16 Really? Yeah. But then you'll, we see a homeless guy where they're pissing on my water fountain. You know what I mean? People shoot in heroin. You hit him with a guitar? Yeah. You know, comedy is what I just, you know, I'd rather do this.
Starting point is 00:49:33 This is fun. I think I'm having some type of episode. Is it from all the stress today? Yeah. Like my heart's beating very irregularly right now. Go get a teleno. Go get a beta blocker. Or maybe a zippix.
Starting point is 00:49:48 Huh? Does that make it worse? The zippix. No, it's just, what do you call it? Yeah, I'm very, I'm getting a lot of like PVC's. All right. So I want to clarify it in the Shab episode because I guess it's still muddled and whatnot. But um, number one, okay, if Kalilah had had an affair, right, and cheated on me, I would
Starting point is 00:50:14 leave. Right. Okay. This was something that I knew was going to happen. It was an open discussion. You know, that's what all of this is, like in terms of like when I went to rehab, it's like, this is what I'm doing. This is where I need to go.
Starting point is 00:50:29 What about the rumor that said, um, it's the open relationship or whatever, whatever, that caused your relapse? No. Here's where it gets muddled. There is another event that caused my relapse that I can't get into. Separate from. That's separate. Early from last.
Starting point is 00:50:50 Early out. Early out. That caused my relapse. Um, but you know what? Nothing caused my relapse. What caused my relapse was I wasn't going to a meetings, right? And I wasn't doing the work to stay sober. And when you're like that and you're a dry drunk, any event, you can make an excuse to
Starting point is 00:51:11 go out. So that's the real truth. Okay. Um, if I was working a program and I was going to meetings, I was calling my sponsor. Any event that happens, even a death in the family, you can get through it. You know what I mean? Through the program. But I wasn't going to meetings.
Starting point is 00:51:28 I was self-will. I was just doing my own thing and, um, it was inevitable. Any kind of thing could have happened. If it didn't happen then it would have happened some other time. You know, I read something online, Bobby's just a drug addict, he keeps relapsing every other year. Like, you know, he's an untrustworthy guy. It's like, okay, that's true.
Starting point is 00:51:48 I'm a drug addict and alcoholic. I slip up sometimes. And um, you know, I had 17 years at one point, 12 years at another point. You know, um, I've had long gaps of sobriety, um, but there's no shame in relapsing. Um, this time around it's very serious. I'm, I've been more adamant and it's just, you know, that last reason was very profound. You know, I felt like my life was falling apart in a very, um, extreme way. You know, um, I also had a worldview on my life that was, I never had before in terms
Starting point is 00:52:30 of the trajectory of what I want out of my life and where, you know, all that stuff, right? So, um, yeah, I just want to make it clear that, um, it was something that I knew about. It was something that I told her to do. It was, we had a open thing. Right now, I don't want that right now. And um, we were back to being monogamous, but, um, trust me, if I listen, I love Kalaila, but I'm not a bitch.
Starting point is 00:52:59 Hey, no bitch. You know what I mean? And I will do what I please. You know what I mean? Um, you know, I've never been that guy. I've always been in relationships. I feel safe in them. I need someone.
Starting point is 00:53:12 I need to trust somebody. You know what I mean? I can't just not know somebody and then boink, you know, I'm really similar, sweetie. Yeah, I can't do it. It's weird. I like how you said boink too. It's so cute. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:28 Yeah. So, um, I kind of had a little bit of a, um, giggle than a little bit of a rage than back to a giggle. And I think I read something where we were like, well, you know, Kalaila, she emasculates Bobby. How does she expect intimacy from him? I'm like, you guys, he's been calling me Stanley Tucci for 10 years. If I am, I know, but if I emasculate you, you masculate me, like I literally, like
Starting point is 00:53:55 if I've turned you into a woman, you've turned me into a dude equally. I doubt that you've ever been to a restaurant and a hostess said, Mr. Tucci, would you like a table? I've been called, sir. No. Have you been called, ma'am? Yes. No.
Starting point is 00:54:11 I've been called for sure. You have never been called ma'am. I've been called that many times because of my long hair. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. That's the other thing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:19 In 7-Eleven all the time. Yeah. Thank you, lady. To me. And I'm like, what? Bro, what? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:27 Um, are we done? I don't think we're going to see you in a boat ball. You guys always say that. No. Are we unhelpful? Yeah. Unhopeful advice with Bobby and Kalaila. Hey guys, this really isn't a question about advice, but I want to know the backstory behind
Starting point is 00:54:39 the podcast intro and outro song that Bobby sings in the intro and Kalaila sings in the outro. How did you guys come up with it? What was the idea for it? Who mixed the music? How did you record it? I've also noticed in earlier podcasts, there are other songs as well, mostly sung by Bobby that you tried out.
Starting point is 00:54:53 I love all the music, little songs that are in your podcast and want to know more about them. I have an iPad. Love? Anana. I have an iPad and there's a guitar thing. What's it called? Garage band.
Starting point is 00:55:06 Garage band. And I know how to write music. He's so good. Yeah, I know. I write all kinds of styles of music, but I only do loops. So I guess it's so lazy, it's like, I'll do four intros and maybe a chorus and then that's it. We've written two together and honestly, some of the stuff that he's written makes
Starting point is 00:55:31 me cry. Well, I have one that's going to annoy you. Can I just play it? Yeah, we haven't heard a lot in a while. There's one that, can I just, oh, Crystallia, hold on, he just texted me. Oh, Crystallia. Yeah, okay. What did he say?
Starting point is 00:55:45 Don't you put that? Are you all right? Hold on, where's my guitar center? What's it called? Garage band. You've got a guitar center. Guitar center. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:56 All right, so there's one way. I'll show you the song. Hopefully it'll download. Karate Haya is one of my favorites. Oh, the Trash Tuesday jingle is by Bobby. Oh. Yeah. There's obviously the classics are Shadow Gook, Karate Haya.
Starting point is 00:56:11 Yeah. Oh, here we go. This is the one. It's going to drive you crazy. Why? Oh, that's the one with Yana. It's Karate Haya. I got it down.
Starting point is 00:56:19 Oh, here we go. I'm missing sound, so I have to fucking download. Fuck it. Dang it. I can do it on my iPad. Dang it. Can I go grab it? I can grab my iPad.
Starting point is 00:56:28 All right. I'll play a pause. I want you to play that song that makes me cry. I'll play that pizza while you break. All right, guys, here we are. Wait, wait, wait. No. You know what it is?
Starting point is 00:56:41 I erased because she was so mad about it. You made me cry. No, no. There was one song that she was so mad about it that I completely erased it. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Here it is. Here it is.
Starting point is 00:56:54 Holy, this is it. Holy. Here it is. Here we go. We already did this on Patreon. I love this. I remember. Good time.
Starting point is 00:57:09 You know. I hate this woman. Wait, wait, wait, wait. It's a Patreon one. Cool. Let people hear your version. I don't know. Let's just do it.
Starting point is 00:57:17 I'm going to make you edit it out. Stop. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.
Starting point is 00:57:25 I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.
Starting point is 00:57:33 I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.
Starting point is 00:57:41 I hate it. I hate it. And if you get lost by this person on YouTube, please leave a comment. That you play some more that like that's very um do that was red dead redemption phase for you Oh, that's why I remember that. Oh, yeah, Claude remembers that there was this one There's one that this is the one I think that I wrote for you She really crying yeah, I wrote this for her Can you talk us through by the way, I don't know why it makes me cry
Starting point is 00:58:35 Because we wrote it together. There was a couple of sections of the song like what do you think that melody should do it? She goes oh, I like that Anyway, I think it makes me cry What time period was that in your guys relationship? Oh a long time ago I think they were like I miss our old apartment. You missed that you complained about that all the time Yeah, no, I realized it was a really special time for us We really couldn't go anywhere, but that room because we had such little space And then we would just lie down a lot together and then just be really close and then just do some things like write on garage
Starting point is 00:59:15 Bad and stuff and I think it makes me realize like we've been together for so long and we had a really rough year last year and our relationship was we didn't know if We should still be together and it was so much like painful deliberation And I just I just think of that time Are you ready to do another song bit I feel like I feel like at any but I always like feel like koala I feel like Bob was right. I want to I want to but I want to be there, but there's a show
Starting point is 00:59:47 And the show must go on And the show must go on You want to play another song You have a cute A song cute, so you done with the tears, baby? Yeah, yeah, yeah Oh my god I can't stop crying
Starting point is 01:00:04 I know so um you comfort her baby a little okay. Here you go Here you go. I miss those times too, baby Apartment, you know So this is the one that I wrote. This is one of my favorite ones. That was sweet kala. Thank you You want to listen to that's the one I like? Yes, please You got me going. This one makes me cry too. What are you? Oh, that's a good melody change minor key no lyrics. No That's low key like the weekend that's like
Starting point is 01:01:05 Maybe a weekday Hey, your name should be weekday weekday. We're weak. Yeah. Yeah. I'm the weak day. You okay? Yeah, she saw me had a song cute like hurry up. All right Come on man up. Come on, babe. Come on. He doesn't do well when I um when I cry It's a little bit like I you know, I'm not like data, but like, you know, yeah from Star Trek But I you know, I can't even say I can't even say start there's two other there's two other song That he knows will absolutely cause me to just like I have like 50 songs ever A lot of them do make me cry. I know it's it's a weird thing, but music is a big cry trigger for me
Starting point is 01:01:47 There's two songs that make me feel that way. It's a human league song called electric dreams. You don't don't play it Yeah, yeah, it's it's a happy song. It makes me ball my eyes out and the other I know the other one What the Moana song? Really? Are you even serious like da na na na na na na na na na na na. That one? Yeah. Yeah, play it Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah What did you think when she first cried? Dude? If you're Anywhere in a mall
Starting point is 01:02:18 And when that song comes up, I always want to go Turn it off! Turn it off! Right, because you'll start fucking crying. Yeah, there's not a, there are some songs. Oh my God. There's one more song that's on Beatles. Oh, in my life.
Starting point is 01:02:31 In my life, yeah. But that's a go-to for a lot. That makes me. There's a lot of Filipino funerals. It's a little hacky, babe. No, it was played a lot in like Filipino funerals, like my aunt's funeral and stuff. So it triggers a big emotion in me.
Starting point is 01:02:45 But it's so weird, right? Cause once it, you feel triggered to cry, there's no turning back. Like, I can't even hear you say the moana. Like, it just wrecks me on the inside. I'm sorry, guys. It's okay. You're not supposed to see this side of me.
Starting point is 01:02:58 Yeah, yeah. Wow, it's weird. Blackbird pizza. Delicious. Anyway, thanks for listening. And God bless you. That was it? Yeah, I had to have some things to do at Stardew.
Starting point is 01:03:14 It's fall. It's the first day of fall. I got to stuff, stuff, stuff to do. But anyway, I'm going to eat some more pizza, but God bless you. Take care. Can I have the final words? Yeah, thanks for watching, guys.
Starting point is 01:03:26 Bye. I love you guys. I wish you'd follow us at Stardew Valley. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Barely Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself
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