TigerBelly - Ep 358: Whitney Cummings & The Daniel Tosh Story

Episode Date: July 27, 2022

Bobby gets his first DM. Whitney is the bro, bucko, man. We talk sore winners, "bring it in" people, 3 Mark Hays(es), and the Exon Valdez asshole. Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today No, no, first of all, that's rude what you just did Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was rude what you just did. Yeah, yeah, because uh You know, why can't a man look at his girlfriend a friend of you know and go nice nipples Yeah, why can't that happen and it's just it's not it's not a sexual thing I have never looked at you in a sexual fucking way to respect me I mean, I look at you like I look rolling Ronan Farrow because I I actually prefer sexual abuse to emotional abuse And that's what you're doing right now. Oh really? I've never wanted to have sex with you

The only thing worse than a guy is actually harassing you is Emotionally harassed. Okay, let me read her like no, let me restate what I just said then, okay? Let me try to get to it, right? Obviously, you're attractive and there are men that like you right? I just don't find you attractive. That's my own personal Hey, but why are you mocking the person that thinks I'm not Are you doing a pressure of your brother when you do that guys? Guys that look like Ryan Reynolds. Yeah, you mean handsome dudes with pecs. You know me and six packs But they're also very stop giving Kalyla ideas of people to date

But I just so I you know I looked at your nipples and it was not in a sexual way I didn't hire register. I think nice nipples Try to hire higher nice nipples perfect. Yeah, that's good. Is that better? I don't any nipples to men are not nice like when I think that they're I think that a lot of the like Breastating but it comes from our women ourselves. Yeah, I think so when I made that robot I went to the sex robot factory and they told me the number one request from men when they were customizing Do I make more noise? Of course we're already talking about nipples

That the number one request from people that have sex make sex dolls is dark very large nipples The area was weird because think about it Whitney Um women when they get pregnant and prepare for breastfeeding their nipples become charcoal looking because it allows the baby for more contrast Oh, I have a nipple exactly. So like men just are babies black nipple. So your nipples turn into X-Men Dude, they turn into mystique mystique They're like a mood ring. Yeah. Yeah, and yeah, exactly and then larger and then they have to get larger larger I have a question. Why do you keep referring it to a robot? Is it a doll or a robot sex robot? He's gonna have a no what I'm saying is a robot is has, you know, I mean talk and it's animatronic, right?

Okay, I get it. You don't follow me on Instagram. Um, I've only posted about it for three years straight I've seen it. I've just never seen it move. Does it talk and whatnot? It's a doll when it's off and it's a robot when it's on and when you turn it on. What does it do? I can talk it can engage with you. I did not know so my bad It is a robot. My bad. It is a robot. These questions have either reasons for this question He's he's gonna try to court your robot next. Please. No By the way, it would go great with all these weird as fucking statues you have in In your foyer. Wait, I just found out that we've collectively as a society been having sex

The wrong way. Uh-huh. Hold up. I want to have one. I just want to say one last thing about your robot Does it have a vaginal plat part? It does and I put panty. I was but there's a hole that you can stick your penis in Yes, okay. I don't want it then. Go ahead I mean you can stick someone else's penis in and watch I mean, yeah, what you're into these. What about if it had a penis? No, I wouldn't what I'm not gay, baby. Okay. Can I see something just really fast? Yeah, play my space here Yeah, I we've all been touring a lot and now that the pandemic's over seeing I'm gonna say something sincere Mm-hmm. Go ahead. I'm gonna say something sincere for once in your life. Go ahead Go ahead. Uh, so I just did I don't know 50 cities or you know, we had to make up all those dates and you know

Shot a special like at the end and was getting ready to shoot the special and when I say that the tiger belly fans Are the most gracious kind some have a milky eye, but mostly The most I mean because you know and they come in your merch and they're like they're so I know you know this but for them to come to someone else's show and be so gracious and so like I

I mean, it's a testament to you and I and I do we do need to talk about because your pocket It is a telenovela that at this point Um, but they are just the most wonderful people. They're the best. They're very best. I mean that hurts me Okay, it really bums me out that they would even go to your show Trust me. It's like people in a call that are like, can you help us get out? Um, and I just want to say that I didn't you know what and on behalf of my fans. God bless you and take care and they love you We love you and you're a part of our family. So that's why I'm the don't and that's fine. I'm just it's just it's very Um, the qual I feel like we're at a point where it's not about how many tickets you're selling or how many people

It's the quality of your fans. If you don't want to hang out with your fans. Yeah, what are we doing? Yeah? I have great fans. We really do you both We really do it is it is because I mean now you can tell you the stern fans the rogan fan Like it's the segura the mom's house fans. I mean, I know that everyone's fan of everyone when when we had our live show I had no and I'm so socially like anxious. I didn't have a problem hugging anyone You did not came up to my face. I mean, I was a huggy the huggiest that ever been in my life And I was happy to hold them It's a really cool thing because in the beginning I I toured you're not one of these people bobby

But uh where I would open for people and their fans were like they would want to just get off stage as quickly as possible Like they didn't like their own fans and you'd see like, you know, I was like, oh god This is would be a nightmare of your own creation if by whatever you talk about or whatever you do you you have to Perform I think the problem though is this um, I love joe mackayle Joel is his name is Joel mackayle. Yeah, that's his name, right? Yeah, I love joe mackayle But you know, he's I mean, I know that he dabbles in podcasting But um, most of his fans are from things that they've seen him like community fans or whatever Acting, you know, his acting made some of his hosting

Does he want to kill dachshund I think podcasting fans are different because they They sort of follow along with your life. They know kind of they're in sync with your point of view They already accept you for whatever it is you are a different fan kind of fan base Well, it's also people that are super super funny y'all play to the top of your intelligence You're also very open about you know, and that's all I'm gonna say they're just very forgiving and loving and that's all Thanks for saying that Whitney. Thank you so for saying that it was like really made me just so happy for You both because a lot of times you look at people this are like this person on tv show

They made it this person is doing a big tour. They made it. They're playing radio city I kind of think the new you made it is You like your fans. You want to be friends with the people that come and see you Well, then let me get one of my resentments out then You know Yeah, let's just let me Where you were since we're starting in a positive vibe. Let me just let me get the negativity out of the way I did just listen to your episode with Neil Brennan. I do believe that you two should start a podcast called sore winners

Talking about how horrible your life is when everyone else looks up to you Oh, okay, so let me get there was a go ahead. Nothing. I was going to give you a high five But you thought I was raising my hand They're out of sync right now We've been broken up a month We're awkward so I just have a little thing just clear it up for me. Um, so the other night we're at Schomburg improv No, we already got that out of the way. That's why we never that's why we never bring that up again It's actually it's true. Yeah, we actually haven't do you know why because we resolved that situation

Okay, okay. We have a new situation. Well, there was no situation. I never did anything wrong, but okay Well, that's your point of view Yeah, yeah, that's your truth. But um, so the other night we were performing together You realize Okay, I just want to say the thing you got mad at me about at that Schomburg improv is that I laugh too loudly at your jokes on stage That's not what it was And how dare you and you're bringing it back out. I thought we resolved it But if you want to bring it back up, I will I just want you to know one day you will go

Oh, that's right. When you love too loud and I'm on stage and you're laughing and there's three other customers standing with you laughing together In during in a during a show. Yeah, we were watching your show and laughing. That's what you're standing up That's your job. Wait, you do that a lot to other comics though. That's and I'm not arguing I've never seen Bobby laugh at another comic I have I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Can I get the thing out of my way? All right. Thank you So and I like what you're trying to do diver, but let's get to the thing Just please. Okay. So, um, the other night you knew

You knew I was after you right, right, right, right, right, right? So she's about to bring me up and she goes this next comic I love Dearly, right? Yeah, and I go in my heart. I'm like, here we are My friend, you know what I mean? Yeah, the connections are already there I'm a big fan. I go I did not know that but you know what she said it out loud and that's great She's gonna sit at the credits. Yeah, and he's at the top of his game. I go, you know, ladies and gentlemen, Brendan Traub

No, and then you go he did an album called Caligula And then my my heart just then my heart started going Right because it's like all coming to me because I know jesson lex back there And I'm freaking out because I'm like, what the fuck was it called? What was it called? What was it called? Moby dick And my old self would have let it go and let you just bring up anthony jesson lex No, but I did not do but I did not do that, right? My my my instinct took over. I was in the audience and I screamed at the top of my lungs in the packed room, right?

What are you doing? Something like that, right? And then you you looked at me and then you kind of went You frazzled, but let me just ask you. What was that? You just forgot who was next? Like I don't understand because I saw you backstage you knew and you saw the lineup So I don't know what the confusion was. Yep. So I've been in the comedy store a while I've been touring it used to be very like you go on something you'd be like and they just yell it It was just always chaos. So so we were on a lineup. It was I think me You there was a poppin on the side anthony. Yeah, I think that's what it was, but I'm exactly what it was

But here's the thing. I did not look exactly what it was. I did not look at the lineup I'm dumb and I should have and I don't know what I don't know what I got there And then bobby was like, oh, I'm sorry Polly was like, you're gonna bring me up as a special guest and I was like, oh and I was like, okay And then I was backstage. I was talking to anthony and I just didn't like All right, so let me get this right and then I went on stage and then I went, oh, fuck Is polly the special guest? I saw anthony backstage and then I just I just Polly just to clear this up. Yeah. Yeah if polly

Said to you that I'm the special guest. Wouldn't you already in your mind go he would be next? Yes And then I But you didn't do that Well, I didn't see him around like he was like and then like I just had seen anthony. I mean, I'm sorry I just had a brain fart, but but I have good news and bad news It had nothing to do with you. I just I I forgot I I know I know you I didn't know it's I didn't

I didn't even know you were It's this is between polly. I'll move this is between me and polly Do you know what I'm saying? I I I just made a mistake and It's interesting because I am sorry and I'm happy to uh Apologize just as long as it wasn't on purpose It sounds like an honest mistake and that's why I'm accepting it. I just just as long as it wasn't on sabotage Imagine bobby's up. I'm gonna bring up anthony like well. I stand to gain nothing from that And anthony's just gonna go on and make fun of me. You know what I'm saying?

Like it's such a worse thing for me for anthony to come up next And it's interesting because I'm as as I feel like we're I'm learning more about you as an off-camera friend because I think at some time. Well, do you know what I'm saying? No, we've known each other for 20 years. What the fuck I left going. Oh my god. I totally fucked up bringing someone on You know, I mean as long as I've been at the comedy store in 15 years. I've never done that. Yeah in my life You haven't and never in my life. Yeah, and it turned into what I thought this really fun live moment It was We got we we got laughs out of it like what what the comedy store is all about

It was like this unpredictable moment where bobby kind of came up to the stage and I had fucked up and there was this But there's a backstory. I'll tell you why this It's online Jesus I Somebody has it online put your headphones on Who's who's you know, I'm he is so brilliant, but you know his specials to live you bother Okay, push box push box. Yeah, so I'm going to tell you what happened. All right So I'm I want to let you know though. I am sorry. That's a fine. It's totally fine

I know but it was I just find it up as a joke But I agree but but no one was madder at me than me and I But I'll tell you why I was sloppy and I should have right before I went out I should have looked at the lineup something funny had happened I was sitting there in the back row right with a Some patrons, you know, and I was talking to this guy and he's like aren't you performing and I was I was acting cool So I was like sitting next to him and I was just like Yeah, I'm next

It's I walked into a fucking hornet's nest. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm sitting next to this guy and he's with a bunch of crew They're from new york and then we were talking during your set. I apologize and um Okay, all right, come on Yeah, and it's like well and this is so dumb he goes Um, so you're next but aren't you supposed to be backstage and I go, you know, sometimes like acting like a fucking idiot I go sometimes I like to just do it from here Right. He's like, oh, that's cool, man. Like you let like you let your gas tank go to the red

Right, right, right, right. And so and then as you're bringing me up I stood up and this group was like this group was like, oh, there he goes Right, and then once you said Caligula, right, you could see I just felt Yeah, I just felt I'm going you're not next You're a fool Right, and so that's what there was like a little bit of a back story embarrassed a little bit of embarrassment there But look she she was embarrassed. She had remorse. Yeah, she was I was I was I was How about this can I do one?

Yeah, go I was about to say, you know, I'm just going to shut my mouth, but there was a time I called a Oh, Latino comic Pablo Francisco when it was like introduced him that in the belly room one night I like smoked some weed and I was like Pablo and I was like, oh my god, Francisco So not too far, you know, and he walks up to me and I was like, I'm so sorry You do have a problem with introductions because you told one time said about Martin Lawrence. He's the greatest comic On planet earth, which by the way, I said here's how on the same page I thought we were yeah in this moment of like what I thought was just like a fun crazy like wouldn't he made a mistake Now we're just gonna be silly and the audience gets to see this ridiculous like unscripted moment

Bobby one time gave me so much shit after I said like this, you know, because Martin sitcom is my favorite show. It's still my favorite. He's one of the best Martin was a very big deal to me So, uh, I don't know his stand-up as much as I'm not So he was coming on stage the guy fucking cooked himself on ventura in tinfoil like 20 years ago Let's just be respectful, you know, I love him. The guy is like Legend he's a me so cod Like he like I don't know and he was I had introduced him and I was like this guy is Is what I say with the greatest comedians. I think that's true

But you know, but I'm Martin was truly my favorite show. Yeah, and I love him And then so this was happening one of the greatest comedians in the world. Oh, totally fair. Yeah, great guy. I love him legend Yes, yeah that show to me is still like still I'll watch it and cry laughing Yeah, and um and also they're laughing in it like, you know And I even said he one of the greatest comedians is no Martin Lawrence. Like I said that to you that was just No one else would have gotten that in the room except you all right, right? So it bombed for everyone else, but I was just trying to that's that's what it was. That's how on the same page

I thought we were all right about it being a funny moment Okay, all right, I was like that. I was like Bobby and I are in this Us, right? It's us against the world. I think flew over my head. It didn't flow your head. You were embarrassed You were just that if I had known there. Yeah, there's two people in the back Everyone else loved it But those two people that whose approval you needed who was it ellen or who was it? No, I don't Anyway, I I accept your apology. It was rude. It was rude Intentionally, but I'm at the point in my life for it. It's like well, it's not about the impact about the intention

I'm all about impact at this point. Yeah, that's the impact I made. I'm sorry. I'm totally fucking kidding I only I wasn't it wasn't even an issue. In fact, I like when that happens because we got lousy I was just trying to create some sort of podcast fodder. Uh, when it comes to Asian hate. I will stop it You only Um, I know you guys are you're incredible at that you're you guys are incredible at just going right for the Uh sweating Off the bat. Yeah off the bat. Remember podcasts were chill. Remember when

Yeah, that's an emotional MMA Yeah, I mean, you know But it's fun. It is. Yeah, it's it's a lot of fun and I like being uh Confrontation a little bit, but it's such a lot of love, you know, I think it's healing I mean to get like to be able to be of service to other people and get paid to be Relentlessly honest. It's pretty fucking cool. Yeah It's like you hack the system in a way Um on the road. Were you doing any clubs or just theaters?

Uh, I was doing clubs in the beginning of the pandemic because the you know, it was things were Have capacity weren't open. So I did but after that I did the theater tour. Yeah, and you like that I I prefer clubs like I love doing clubs because I like to do two shows a night and theaters too I don't like adding to theater because of the meet and greets after just too late, you know Like I don't like you know I like clubs because you get to do one set and be like, I didn't go well I just I want to do this again like right now, you know, like I think that's where you get better But I think clubs there's a certain game you have to play where you're like

I have to prove that I can sell out clubs and I know that's part of the thing Yeah, I'm sorry. I've proved that I can sell out theaters. Oh sell theater even though I would rather do Yeah cobs and comedy works. Yeah, I for some reason I just I'm getting pushed to do theaters But I just don't it's less money. I mean it is less money. It theaters is yeah. Oh, I didn't know that So you didn't have the food the drinks. Yeah, it's a bit. Oh, all right. So I mean, depending on the I'm not willing to charge more than 60 70 dollars for tickets. I just at the glee. I just won't do it Yeah at clubs. I can do less ticket prizes 40 is the I think the most I charge and then but I like, um

I like just the interaction of people, right? Yeah, and also it gives room for people to bring people that don't know you Mm-hmm, right. Oh, yeah, I'm just gonna go here and it's like it's clubs are more a casual affair for people You know, I love I'm saying this as I'm saying this. I love clubs until 20 minutes into your set They drop the check And I'm like why the fuck Am I listening to people be like, did you who got the same like I'm like, why am I at the store? Okay at the comedy store, right? And I forget to fucking even tell the fucking waitresses, right? But every time I'm about to tell a punchline you have some person stand in front of the fucking noir, right?

And I say the punchline and you have to admit this It gets 80% less of a volume in terms of laughter 80% like 80% it's like There was a pew research. Can you pull up the pew? No, I have a That a male clinic. No, I I've been doing it enough to know it happened last night, right this once it goes and I'm about to say the punchline I go, oh, this is my favorite when people make up fake statistics and then they deliberate They're like it's like the the audience laughter goes down like 80 like 70 80 percent What fake math

Do in your head. Yeah. All right. I exactly that's true. No, that's true And that's I think that's part of becoming a better comic like you see people that just go straight from like youtube fame or And they go straight to a theater and they're just shoveling shit down their gullet and you're like, oh, yeah That's because they've never had to compete with five checks dropping at the same time and people looking at their bill like As an audience member my whole life It really does Fuck up the moment for me because I cannot drown out stimulus around me. So if someone is deliberated They're arguing about a check next to me. It really fucks up my experience. All I can think about. Yeah

All I hear I was uh, I was just in austin and rogan and I went to go see christina pozitski at one of the venues there It's called creek in the cave and she was just like working on new stuff and we it was the first time I've sat and watched comedy in a like a comedy venue and not gone up You know, I can't I probably couldn't even tell you what in 15 years 20 years And I'm not sitting in the back as a comic and we're just sitting just watching her, you know Yeah, she's a friend. I was just wanting to see her and um, I was like the I was like the substitute tea. I was like Like people are opening their word. There's originals. They're talking to each other. They're texting They're taking videos. They've got fidget spinners. Like I don't I'm like, hey, I'm going out in the lobby

I hear music people's phones are going off. I was like, excuse me. Like I was a monster because I was like She probably didn't notice any of it But I was so just protective of just being like I cannot believe all the fucking rigmarole that goes on While comedians are on stage. I would rather just be delusional and not know Yeah, I find joe to be very sweet lately. Joe's very. Yeah. Joe is a joe Kiss me on the cheek. Maybe get me a bruise. The kiss was so fucking So you know what? Oh, my zipper. Thanks, george

Single easy tiger. Should we call this? Hot no when you found out that we had broken up. How would you feel? Um Relief no, um Uh, I I mean look I it's I was thinking about it because I I was like catching up on everything. Um Yesterday and It's I'm sad. I mean I'm sad because I know how sad

Y'all are and I think for me I have the and how it's heartbreak. I mean life It's like getting an animal that you know, it's gonna die at some point, you know what I mean? It's just that like they're not gonna die. There's no there you go. There's no way around it It's like no one gets out alive And I think that when you know someone is going through something that you've either gone through or you know it's just like There's no way out but through unless you want to anesthetize yourself and do you know Yeah, there's no way you notice and there's nothing anyone can do to take your pain

That's what's the most frustrating when people that you love are in some kind of pain Uh in um a fraught situation where the only thing they can do is feel it and then heal it and like with an animal dying Or that there's nothing you can do whereas if you were like, uh We got our podcast pulled down from you to you got here. Okay. Here's why it's gonna be good. Here's why this is the best thing That's ever happened to you work stuff. Here's why you just dodged a bullet, you know, I mean Um you didn't get to work with Alec Baldwin. Um and And uh and but when I heard you guys like talk about it It was you know, I

My personal point of view as someone who my best friend and sort of business partner is an ex of mine that I dated When I was much younger and he's like very much like my soulmate my brother And I believe that there is a type of intimacy that I I want Craig more than anything, which is You know someone that you've been in a romantic relationship with now your family That to me is the most life-affirming the the most proud relationship I I have and the most intimacy I have so Like I'm happy that you guys like have that. Yeah, you know like that in the way that you guys all are you articulated it And also because it didn't happen overnight, right? This has been on the table for an entire year

Do we stay together? Do we not so it's just it isn't I think that I'm able to talk about it Objectively now because it we didn't have one giant fight and then say fuck off. You know, it's been something slow burn kind of but it also was like 10 years is such a giant success and Helena Bonham Carter Said it when her and tim Burton broke up. She's just because it ended doesn't mean it wasn't a success Yes, and half of her family died in a plane crash. Oh my god, it's thinking about that. Yeah, that's pretty good. Thanks So she was definitely

Did you know that yeah, I know what does one have anything to do other man because dude, how many people do you know? There's something fascinating to when you really start like doing the math on how many entertainers have had like really horrendous shit happen to them yeah, uh, like I remember one time I was like, um Um, Stephen Colbert was on the daily show or something and I remember being like Look at this guy Nice this guy Doesn't have any trauma. You don't have to be traumatized to be a comedian. The funniest written. So it's like, you know His parents. Yeah, like three of his family members just like died in plane crash when he was 10

But uh, but yeah, I mean, I just I think that for I I could not think of a way that It was a more elegant way that y'all have ostensibly navigated this in such a mature way and I think that like, you know and Not to bring up So I made a movie uh about this, you know in this movie that I made the female brain There was one whole storyline that was about this couple It was Sofia Vergara and Deon Cole and they had been together for seven eight years and it's like Our brain is wired to kind of our brain is savage, you know

It's like we're kind of wired to be madly obsessed and attracted to each other for like two years the amount of time It would take to make a baby and then make sure the guy sticks around to care for it And then we're wired to kind of move it's the fact that y'all have like overcome Despite of our despite our most is that a true thing you just said. Yeah, we don't make as much oxytocin and dopamine for someone after like two years Fuck But you guys I know I'm saying you have beat the you're so you're love for each other and you're care for each other like You've built this despite biology like you've over, you know what I'm saying Is that why every relationship I've ever had only lasted two years or even last?

Well, yeah, you stop producing dopamine oxytocin for the person, but then you go look. Yes. I want to fuck everything that moves That's what I'm wired to do, but I'm choosing This I think I think that's the thing about relationships is up Thank you. Is that you there's your guy Bobby comes home and he has a picture next to a guy Who's towering over him and he goes who's this calyla who did I take a picture with and it's a blade griffin By the way, who is great guy? So funny. It's yeah, so funny. Yeah. Yeah. No, but like did stand up at Montreal and was Polarious. Yeah, like he's legitimately. I just with Blake Griffin though because he's he was he was he's always around I don't care. I know that he'll crush me, but I'm just saying that

He'll destroy me But I just I just never got a sense that he liked me like like because I see him with other comics and Ask playing in this. Why did you take a picture with him and who did you think he was? Steve Yoki Boom Boom call back. What no, I thought what's up. What's up? No, I thought he was um Well, it's just a tall comedian from new york It's all lights as if tall men have to become comedians

I just no, you know, because there's there's ones like gary gullman. They're tall. There's one Gary gullman. Yeah, and he's His whole thing is I can't stop taking antidepressants Um, but uh, Blake Griffin is is so he's a talented guy. He's a Legend, I know taught me a lot in a fascinating way. I'm because I'm very as I sort of moved her life I've started dividing people into two categories. Like do you have any of these things where like you divide people? How what are the categories? It can be as simple as like Black licorice person or not black licorice person. Oh, right, right only child. Not only like there are two types

I just made another one of those categories. Love people who like to um, just hang out on chill in their car when they've gotten to the Destination and people who get out quickly Like I'm somebody when I get somewhere. I need a second five minutes. Oh, I'm the person on are you leaving? Oh, I need so everyone moment. Yes. I have one. I have one too People that view vacations in a certain way like some people view vacations as relaxation Chill and some of our action adventure. We're completely off. That's we're opposite. Yeah I she's like fucking Laura Croft. Let's go into caves. No, I don't want you know, I mean a disease I don't know. I but I do like massages at the end of every day. Yeah, I do like some relaxing

She's giving mouth to mouth to a blowfish A thousand feet under the sea. You're like, I can't like yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, uh, uh People that played team sports and people that didn't Like individual sports. Yeah, uh team sports Or not or fencing. It's team sports or fencing or track and field or whatever You know and this whole thing with like people being so mad about like can I ask you something? Is wrestling a team sport? No, it's an individual but there is a team playing for the other team. There is a team though there's

Yeah, but that's just a big thing swimming is not an individual sport because there's a relay like no swimming is an individual It is a very but there is a team now. Yes, but they go individually. Yes. Yes, right? So tennis would be unless you are a doubles partner individual. Okay. I'm just learning I'm gonna ask you something about this. So wait, let's ask every sport and see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Are there people that can play well with others and collaborate and lean on others? Are there people who are like, I'm the star of this and I don't you know So it's interesting because I was a big team sports player And then I became a singular stand-up comedian because by the time I went to improv

I was like you motherfuckers are gonna fuck it up for me. I'm not y'all are dragging me down But when I was wrestling I wanted someone to help me So that would I really was I was like I would look over to the heavyweighter. You want to get in on this You know what I mean? So it was like I think I did individual sports But I wanted people to jump in yes to help me and one in within those individual sports though There's still two types of people love it against others and people who compete against themselves So they my sister was a against herself type of gal. I'm only going to um race Um and try to beat my own personal best. I'm the opposite. I'm my eyes are everywhere

I'm trying to be every my personal best and everyone in this heat. Yes. Yeah. I wonder what I am types I I'm personal best guy You're I think you're a person. No, you're highly competitive. What's it? You know in swimming. I mean no way you're oh For you swimming swimming. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, you so you think that I'm your career your career So competitive sweetie your career What do you mean my career your career? You're not I'm just trying to be the best No, no, dude, you don't miss you. I must understand in my friend, right?

My whole thing is it's like, you know, I want to do the best I can right and I'll get what I get, right? I just wonder why other people get the thing something I can't get Can I just say something? Fly on the wall. Yeah, go ahead. I'm very into this new bobby league. It is it is. I I don't know What new bobby league? What the fuck are you talking about? Could you tell us like compare two differences? Uh, I mean look we fucked around and we found out bobby league got self-esteem and this is what happened And I I hadn't I hadn't listened to the podcast

I literally No, bobby is someone that is like, you know, we are very open about our insecurities and low cell I turned on the podcast and I was just like skipping around and it's like i'm bobby lee motherfucker Like you said it a couple times. I'm bobby lee. I'm bobby lee. I think that is what i'm talking about. Yeah I I feel like you have broken through something. I don't maybe in the last year. Maybe it was the pandemic. Maybe it was What happened with all that drama, but you're in a I just feel that you are have arrived to another level of Understanding of your worth and I think it's awesome. I would I would have to agree

What could you react to things that aren't real? You know, I mean, or maybe you did that show with the fucking ace and we're like If you if you call yourself not fine, you're calling your fans dumb You know, it's it's it's it's like this. It's like, you know, I You can't I can't walk around right going. I'm a piece of shit I can't get nothing and all that whole fucking thing, right? And then I'm like, you know doing a scene with sarah just like a parker in new york And I'm then she's like wanting to know who I am and all that stuff and in my head

It's like my inner voice isn't matching what the reality is, right? So it's like I'm just trying to match my reality with you know With my voice like to say that you're not successful. That's like if that's like on some Q and on shit. It's like it's Yeah, yeah, it's delusional. It's delusional. It's insane and everyone is just like, okay, so wait And you're right because I used to yeah, I used to do that even, you know, this is the thing that bothered Uh, you about me was is that like after I would do well on stage? I would go I bombed right and it was just the same way of trying to like, you know But it didn't that didn't even make any sense when you would bring it up like that

I'm you because one day you just pulled me in senses. Stop. I can't do this anymore Well, it was before you and but I just I before I think sometimes when you have a Uh maladaptive behavior that works really well for you either like you're minimizing yourself making yourself small to walking on eggshells around Narcissists or you know borderlines like that maybe worked really well to shrink yourself or be like, I'm a piece of shit I'm ugly. I'm that I did that same shit It worked for me because it made the narcissist in my life not feel threatened by me and it made me feel safe So when I would see before you went on stage, you're like, I'm gonna bomb. I'm gonna bomb. I'm gonna bomb, you know And I'm like, maybe this was like something a tool

He developed so that other comedians wouldn't be threatened by him and this is how he survived in the hallways and then And you would go like, I'm gonna bomb. I'm gonna bomb and you'd be like nervous before going on Most of people are there to see you and then you go on and destroy in a way that made Okay, but I know I know you're being I know but 10 years in Every night for 10 years I was like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then I was like, you know how sometimes you just need permission sometimes for someone to say like

Oh, you don't need to do that. Right in something clicks and I was just for like a year. I was like, what if I just said No, don't say anything. It's not your business. How dare. Who are you? He's so much. He's senior to you like and then one day I just Said it. Yeah Yeah, I'd like to make a comment that would be inappropriate. Go ahead. Um Since we are no longer in a relationship. Okay, tell your leg I The worst um thing about breaking up though is being at the comedy store because There are people that I'd never talked to

They're going like I'll see them and they'll be like bring it in Oh god, you hate that and I go what they're all just so psyched clila single But it's like even People I barely talked to come on buddy Right, and I'm like and I have and I want to be a dick. So I'm kind of like, okay And I'll just kind of give them a hug and they're like, man If you need ever need anything, it's like they're doing the bitch. I don't know you have any of you gotten dms from people trying it like I've um, I finally got my first one. Oh really what it's I know do I you don't have to be

I just I got excited was my one and only I've never got one. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. I want to know Yeah, and I don't want to get into it, but it was like, you know, one body One body part. Yeah, and you know me. She said, uh, I want to fuck you. It was it was It was me. It was a fucking burner. Yeah, and it was my first one It was it did you go to the person's profile to see if they were mentally They probably are mentally in my or I already make an assumption that they are happy that they're out of there What's about george? Why are you rolling your eyes back? Well, I through this podcast have had two of those. So, uh, I was a surprise that you've only had one

Do you guys call him nazi theo? Nazi theo george. Yeah, you've had two, man How many how many dms have you got this is the way back machine gilbert was bragging about it before like when we Announcing I was engaged. It was it was half and half a lot of women and a lot of guys dicks I haven't gotten a dick and the I swear to god I swear to god. I've had one Breast shot was just recently hot and that's it. So in my head, do you remember the The angle what the kids are doing these days. Yeah. How was it like a high angle? That's that's gonna tell you how old she is

It's gonna tell you a lot of it. It's straight on Straight on. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It wasn't like it wasn't above in it. Yes. Oh on both Little that's a little aggressive. We if her okay. Yeah. Yeah. Nice breasts. That's I mean, I mean, you know, I mean I mean, they're not you know, I mean, they're not Whitney Cummings. They're not really coming nipples. No, no, no But you know, I wouldn't say that they were Like if it was if I was a judge at the olympics, it would be like what's scored Oh, I don't what I don't even do you because you're so far removed from the sort of culture of this I mean you have guy friends, you know, but it does that mean like I just want to fuck or does that mean?

I want you to take me on a date. Right. And do you know how old this person is? No, I I have no interest We have we I have no interest by the way, but you read it. It was show that you read it We both have not dated in 10 years. We probably need your help. Yeah We get back together That's my advice. No, honestly, I need your help athletic greens Eat Life is busy and your well being

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It's a war zone out there. All right, so Whitney. That's what I hear. So what do I do? Should I get, not anytime soon, but like, also nobody's saying it's going to date either of you given the situation. So it's already, well, it's the matter of like, so Nick, so my best friend who I dated before, he like lived with me. I mean, he is my biggest, biggest priority. Anyone coming in to date either of you has to understand the other person is going to be the biggest priority.

How do you explain that to your new girl? Like, like you can't like, here's the, I never even thought about it. You know what it is? It's like, it's like having a kid being like, you have to meet my kid. I can't let you meet him too early, but if that doesn't take, so for me, when people date me, I'm like, they just have to meet Nick as soon as possible. If they don't vibe, if Nick doesn't, like, there's no point in going any further. I see, I see.

But it's like, but I feel the same way always with my mom in the sense that like, if my girlfriend, my mom doesn't like my girlfriend, I can't make it. It's just, there's just no way it's going to work, right? Sure. You know, so it's like, now. You would have to be very patient about the fact that we do slip up. We do still kiss on the lips. You still call me babe. We do watch the boys together every night.

Okay. Like we still sleep on the same bed. Like that's a hard thing to. But in a world, eventually when you move out, yeah, right, and you have your own place, still, I think that that would be a thing where I would have to go. It's like, if I'm on a date with a girl, I have to go, you know, just FYI, you know, I, you know, my ex-girlfriend is my best friend and we do a podcast together.

I think they'd probably know, but. I know, but what if they don't? Yeah. You know what I mean? They date someone who speaks English and has a Wi-Fi. Right, right. But I would have to like. Stop dating people that just got out of cult, underground cult.

Yeah. Yeah. I would, I would have. Everyone's going to Google you. Everyone's going to know, you know. Right, right. And I just have to say that's the situation like, and then they'll probably ask like, well, is she there all the time?

Here's the irony. The irony is that like I actually, it is a giant red flag for me. If guys aren't friends with their exes. If guys don't speak highly of their exes. If they're like, she's a fucking psycho, she's a con. That's a big red flag for me as well. To me, you're the common denominator in all these psychos. Right.

Like what's going on, you know? So to me, there's nothing more. This is why I love, before the guy that I'm dating, I got, you know, he's younger, but I really only wanted to date married guys with kids before that had a lot of respect for their child's mother because that's just so attractive to me, you know? So I was like, I'm only going to date married guys. They know how commitment works.

Like they know how to stay amicable and respectful to someone that they spent 10 years with. It's a fucking huge deal. And there's going to be times where your new guy, you're going to go have a problem or girl, whatever, I don't see gender, where you're going to go like, I'm having a problem. I need to call Bobby. Yeah. And a man's going to go, what the fuck?

You know, like those things are going to. Well, I envision a world where like three years on the road, she has a boy from the name Tony. And I'm calling, yo, Tony, you know, I can't hang these shelves up. So you come over. He's like, dude, you know, hey, bro, you know, I'm with Kali right now, bro. Right. And I go, come on, Tony, come over.

I envision he comes over. Right. And then we're like, you know, and I go, hey, let's play. Oh no, you're going to recruit gaming. Let's co-op on Stardew Valley. You think so, bro? I go, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we co-op and then like six months down the road, I'm sucking his dick.

You like that, Tony? I like it, dude. I like it. Very good. I think there's like, I think that we're the first culture that's like, you know, that book committed by Elizabeth Gilbert. She wrote Eat, Pray, Love, which I didn't really get, but this was about how in every culture, like what marriage means, what relationships mean.

And we're like, we're the only culture, America, like this sort of Western civilization, we're the only ones that involve love at all. For everyone else, it's a business thing. I know. It's about like land, and I need someone to be able to watch my kids, and I can't afford to move out. Like it's such a like, you know, no one expects to be like in love all the time. We're the only people that are like, every day I need to have butterflies.

It's like, for most people, it's just like a business, you know? And I talk to friends of mine that, you know, don't do what we do for a living, and they're in these marriages that are miserable. And I'm like, why don't you leave? And they're like, I can't afford to. Like where would I, I'd have to like call the phone company and separate the bit. Like we're just too, it's too entrenched. Like, we can't, you know?

So. Well, why didn't it work out with Nick? Nick, well, I was a kid. I mean, I was very, I was, I was young. I was not yet like integrated or realized as a person. I was codependent, unrecovered, Alan on and very much addicted to adrenaline and having to chase someone and force someone to. Basically, he was emotionally unavailable at the time.

He had a really intense trauma when he was a child that is like one of the ones you just don't come back from. I think you guys both get that lost someone in his family in front of him. So it happened. Oh, wow. And he just, there's certain traumas that it, I mean, if you were to do like 20 years of psychotherapy, you might be able to build some neural pathways, but it changes your brain forever.

And he's just, you know, shift. And then he had cancer later in life, just from like stress and stuff. And then being raised by parents that had lost a kid is very hard because when parents have lost a child, it's the child that is, that is surviving. It's very hard for anyone to console anyone because everyone's in so much pain. So it ends up being just like emotional neglect. And, you know, it's just, they say something like only 90% of couples that lose a child end up breaking up because there's just, there's so much anger.

Why weren't you there? You can't move past it. Like the only way out is to just move on and just try to pretend it didn't, like denial, you know? And so, so he was not able, like neither of us were really able to have any kind of intimacy. Neither of us had healed these invisible wounds. So it was just kind of the perfect way for me to cut myself by like chasing him around.

He was like everyone in Hollywood wanted to date him. He was like this big screenwriter. And just because he wasn't, didn't want to commit to anyone because he didn't want to invest in anyone and then have the inevitable pain of a breakup. Because he'd had, he was just pain avoidance, pain avoidance. And so I just was obsessed with him because it made me feel like shit to like chase him around. And, you know, and, and then yeah. And then ultimately it just, it was like we were, we're soulmates.

We're meant to be best friends. We weren't meant to date, but I didn't know how to start off in a platonic relationship. I thought the only thing I had to offer the world was sex or my body. So it didn't even occur to me like this person that makes me laugh so much that I just want to be around all the time. Like we could just be friends. Maybe we misread the cues up front. No.

What do you mean? What do you mean? Like, you know, when we first met, we had that strong feeling of like, why do I feel so like deeply like bonded to you even after the first date? Drama. Yeah, I think, but we didn't really talk about that. I just think that subconsciously that we, you just find your, your person that you relate to on that level. I feel like you could just read them.

You know what I mean? In a sense, you know what I mean? And I think that that's what our initial bond was. There's like a comfort, right? A comfort. Right. We hate the same things, authoritarian figures. You know what I mean?

That's also, I think, a result of, because my dad was such a menace, right? That's why I hate Trump so much. You know what I mean? The neo-Nazi Theo. Yeah. I don't know why I keep looking at neo-Nazi Theo when I say- I hate Trump so much. I always look at you.

I always, I don't know why I always look at you. Or it's theo-Nazi Theo. We don't know. But what else says, I, sorry, I don't, this is, not my place to say, but you know, I don't think you have to pathologize yourself for having fallen in love. It's not like I had trauma. That's why I loved you.

It's like, no. I mean, it's like, you're gorgeous and amazing. You're so many- And someone, the new Bobby for a while, and you came along, it was like, she's so like calm. Like you just like move through the world with such like a calmness and a grace. And whether it's from, you know, your trauma, the work you've done or having been a nurse, whatever it is, you're just like water, things just like-

Here's what also, she, when I date a girl, I've had women, right, that I've dated, that aren't, she wasn't in the business, right? And when you introduce them to that world, they act cray-cray, right? They don't know how to act. You know what I mean? You're at somebody's house, that's like a celebrity or whatever, and they take selfies with them and post it online or that one girl I brought to the up front, and she gave her a card to the president of Fox saying that I'm a comedian, right?

And she's like, what the fuck is this? This is a dinner, bitch. Fox, and that's Fox News. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's Rupert, Rupert Murdoch. Yeah, but my point is that, but she was the first girlfriend that I had, I thought, oh, she can navigate, right, in every social situation, a chameleon in many ways. And she could read- Trauma.

But a chameleon, that's what we can both do. I mean, but shapeshift, people that can shapeshift that easily based on the way they had to do it as a survival mechanism, can also be very dangerous people. She's able to shapeshift and survive any situation you throw in without being an inauthentic and full of shit person. Because I used to sometimes conflate that and be like, oh, this person could just be this person at this event and this person at this event, and then you're like, oh, you're just a sociopath.

Like, you were lying to me this whole time. That is extremely scary. Like, people who are able to kind of code switch on, you know, immediately. Yes, I do understand that. You know what you have to, you know, we all know what we have to do to get through a party or whatever, but then you're authentic when you're not. But can I say the greatest night, when I, it solidified to me that you were the one, was Adam's.

Ten years. You'll be the one for ten years. Adam Sandler's Christmas party. Ice skating. Yeah, yeah. Got the bowl ice skating. Yeah, well, he had the band hockey. Were you there?

Yeah, I got it. Pickwick. Pickwick. Yeah, pickwick. He does it every year. Yeah, yeah. So I went one year and usually when I go to those events, I- That's right.

I always, every year I get to go find out which actors are so short. It's my favorite thing to do. Stephen Dorff is like, fine. I love this party. Stephen Dorff, really, that's short. Yeah. So usually I go to those places. I'm there 15 minutes tops.

I say hi to who I need to say hi to when I leave. That part is a nightmare. Nightmare. But with her, I went there, we were there for five hours. Just running around and giggling and look at that person and going to all the areas. And it was the first time where I went, I'm actually having a really good time in an environment that I dread usually. And that's when I knew this is going to work.

You know what I mean? It's also interesting because I hear, I don't know the answer. Because I am lone wolf is my energy. And it's not something that I totally, from what I understand, it would take a very long time to change. I don't know if I'm even interested in changing it. I wasn't socialized a lot as a child. I'm very good on my own.

Like I'm an introvert by nature, which I did not know the definition of this until actually kind of recently is that introvert and extrovert. Introvert is that you derive energy from being alone. And extrovert is you derive energy from socializing. I have friends that they're like, they'll go to one bar and they're like, let's go to another one. Let's go meet these people. And I'm like, are you exhausted?

Like I have friends who'll do a dinner and then a drinks and then a little late. And I'm like, I just, I'm always like, is that cocaine? Is it like, I'm exhausted. So and it's nothing personal about the person. I just don't, I'm not, you know, so I'm really like being alone. I'm like, good at it. I understand it when, when someone else comes in the mix, I just like my ADD imperfectionism, I just, it makes me kind of resent the person if I'm around them

too much because I feel like I have to be on my best behavior all the time. And I don't want to show them, you know, I want to, I just like, it's very, it's like this, like the guy that I'm dating now, he's in my house and I go to make coffee and he's sitting there and I'm like, do I have to be like, do you want to, like, do I have to offer? Because if I offer it, I have to always offer it. Well, no. I'm setting, well, that's what I'm saying.

But there's this pressure when you're cohabiting or coexisting with someone. Every decision, you are signing up to think about them every time you're doing something and I am wired to really caretake. So I, that's just how, so I'm like, do you want to say, do you want to show, what kind of milk? And then I'm like, what the fuck? I just made your coffee and you can't even, so I'll start keeping score. I have to work at not doing that in relationships.

And then I'm like, okay, in order to be in a relationship, I have to work on these parts of myself. And it's just, it's a job, you know? That's the boundary I had to set for myself. For a couple years, I was the one cleaning the human feces off his Prius. Face. Off his face. Why did you date Amber Heard?

Why was it on your Prius? He would, he would have a lot of accidents. And I was always like, let me clean it up. Let me, you know, clean everything from the car seat to the underwear to like, I don't want you to feel shame. You had an accident. Like, why are you shitting in a Prius? He didn't have a lot of choices back then, but.

I have a loose asshole. What the fuck do you want? He does have, he has a really loose asshole, but. By the way, I have two women in my life that work with me, that shit their pants, like, all the time. Me too, I'm that guy. All right, I'm sorry, my bad. Okay, I'm just, you know what, I'm just trying to help understand.

Yeah. For the people, because it's the one body. I don't have a lot of muscles on my body and my ass was the same way. Got it, got it, got it. The ass, the muscle around my asshole is weak. But, but do you have any heads up or it's just like, it's just. Sometimes it's just in. Yeah.

Come. 9 11. Yeah. I mean, Jesus, you just don't know what's coming. Right. Yeah. Maybe that's a bad reference. Maybe.

Maybe like Pearl Harbor. Yeah. Same plane. Forget that one. Let's do one. I'm not a plane. Is there anything else? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh, no. No, that's it. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. That's fine. Yeah, yeah. And my point is. Exxon Valdez leak. Oh, that's a good.

That's a good. That's a deep cut. That's a deep cut. That's a deep cut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but basically it's like, oh, it's happening now. It's not like, it's not like eight hours before it's like.

Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. In eight hours. No, it's not like that. You never shit in your pants. This is very odd because I have done a lot of crazy shit. Like I've, my body said, I've never shit my pants as an adult.

I know. I know. I don't, I don't know why that is. Yeah. Have you? Once. Yes. In your life, your whole life.

Yeah. And it came with that warning. It was at the Vermont Canyon tennis courts and it just, it was just, and it wasn't even diarrhea. But have you something like is there a common denominator? It was a rogue. You know how they have rogue waves? This was like a rogue turd that just fell out from the sky

with no warning. And all of a sudden I felt a little pressure, like, like a weight in my underwear. And I was like, what is that? So I went to the bathroom and there was just this like pellet. Oh God. And I'm like, where did that come from? And I didn't have an stomach ache, nothing. You know what I think?

I think for the longest time I had such weird eating disorders. I think I was always more constipated. I had the opposite. I like one shit for like four days. That's worse to me. A pellet is not shit in your pants. It's not. It's not.

I get pellets every day. Really? I shit in my pants every day. Yeah. Are you eating like enough? What's fiber? What is it? What's a fiber? Can you please?

That is my already my favorite gift I've ever seen. Like I just want to go on the iPhone and just, what's fiber? What is it? What is it? It's such a brat. I don't know what it is. I would say yes. But I don't know.

Yes, you do. You eat it all. I honestly don't. What food is that fiber is? Because in Stardew Valley in my video game, fiber is the little weeds that like that you chop. Oh, that is true. Yeah, right?

Isn't it called fiber? Yeah. So is that what fiber is? The weeds? Probably everything. Certain things have fibers. And fiber fibers isn't something you grow in a fiber plant. We each have fiber.

Most things have fiber. Yeah, most. You need fiber to grow a plant to stand up. The fiber is what holds it up. But yeah, it's what. Meats don't have fiber. Yeah. Oh, OK.

So vegetables. It's something that is going to sort of have a fine texture enough that's going to bulk and create your. Make something more stiff. It's like holds it together so that your shit's not just. Eat any of this stuff, Bobby. Yeah. OK.

Whole wheat pasta. That's not true. No. Barley. Like a pasta company. Chickpeas. Pasta is not a good source of fiber. Edamame.

I've had that before. Lentils and split peas. This actually is not even. Berries. A lot of trigger foods for me. Pears. OK. No.

This is mad. Yes. I've had fibers. Fibers. Just like that. Like brand. Got it. Got it.

You had like raisin bran or like grape nuts or. Dude, eat a bowl of grape nuts. It'll change your life. You will take this shit. Have you ever taken aloe pills? No. Take one aloe pill? If you're constipated.

So grape nuts to cereal. If I get the cereal, will it bind my poo? You will never shit your pants again. I'm going to have a fucking grape nut. I love gross cereals that people think are gross. Because the feeling of shitting after having. I don't like the raisin bran with all the sugar and the raisins. I don't like raisins in my salad or in my cereal or anything.

But you will. It's a great feeling. Yeah. I think when I eat a lot of ice cream. And I'm lactose intolerant. Sure. Yeah. So I think stuff like that decisions like that.

I think it fucked me up. OK. So I think I'm going to go to great. And now that I know what fiber is. Right. And now that I know. I don't please don't shame me. I'm not just learning things as I go along.

OK. You know. And also people on the internet. People always go. You're a man child. You know these things. You should know all these things. Like when I couldn't tell the time with the hands.

Right. It's just that I just, you know, wasn't bothered to learn it yet. Yeah. Or the science changes. Or the history. Everything we learned in history classes isn't true. Everything that we learn like all like you learn something and you know it all about something

and you start living your life based on like soy milk is the best thing in the world for you. Acai barriers. And then they're like soy milk has lethacin and hormones. And like you can. Yeah. Give you bitch kids. Yeah.

As soon as I say fibers good for you because that's what I was told. I'm sure in five years it'll be like it causes cancer. It's better to shake your pants. I actually think that I have to be because I have colitis. I have to be very careful with certain fibers and things that are normally what people say are good food. Like broccoli.

Can you not have seeds? I don't. Seeds do not. No seeds. So like yeah. They're very very just it's very rough on my stomach. Yeah. So like certain foods like even like broccoli fucks me up.

Like foods that are deemed healthy. Fuck me up. Make my eye shit blood. So you know. You shit blood. Brought to you by Manscaped. So what works for you may not work for the next person. I also learned this from Neil Brennan.

I'd heard it before but Neil you've seen when Neil drinks water he kind of you've seen him do that. He kind of chews his water. You're supposed to kind of chew your water. So to give your body like a heads up that you're about to eat something so it can make the enzymes to digest. Like whoa, wait, wait, wait.

Stop. So what you're saying to me is this. Neil Brennan has a glass of water. He's about to fucking chomp down on. Car gargle. Gargle, right? So he'll go first and then put it in his mouth. Oh no.

He'll just drink it and go and swallow it. Swish it and then swallow. And so that little motion tells your stomach friends. Get ready. They're coming. Yes, because you have a lot of. It's like a telephone. You have a lot of digestive enzymes in your mouth.

Your mouth is part of your digestive system and it actually breaks down a lot more than you think. It doesn't just happen in your stomach. And most of us do not chew enough. Right. We're supposed to chew. I mean, you know, it's like I'm eating in the car. I'm like deep-throating a fucking salmon.

Same. I'm on Bristol farms as I'm driving. And I'm like, why is my stomach hurt? Because I did, you know, so it's like we're supposed to chew. Wow. And when you drink your first drink of water before you eat, you're supposed to just like, it signals to your stomach to make more enzymes to digest.

I just thought of something. It's like drive. It's like raw dog. It's like drive fucking someone. It's not lubed up yet. That was a whore. That was. I've never asked anyone to cut anything.

Yeah. We're not cutting that out. Can we please? So you're, I, this is a serious thing then because you know how I don't have, I have teeth missing. Yeah. From on this side of the mouth and this side of the mouth, the bottom rows are all gone.

Were they pulled or? Just don't brush. But my point is. Did you have to pull them out though? They. I did. My personally. Some just fell off.

They just fell out. Didn't you have a nerve in there? Yeah. The nerves died. Constantly pain. Still? I don't know. But anyway, I have teeth on this row and this row

completely gone. Right. So when I eat steak, I don't chew. I just swallow it whole. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? That are you. And I swallow.

If you're to tamp, you go with the front teeth. Yeah, the front teeth. But I don't want my front teeth to go missing. So I give them a break. Do you go to the dentist now? Do you go to the dentist now? Fucking attitude. Fuck you.

My point is, it's just, you're the town. Who's going to take care of you when Kalyla moves out? Jack Tunze. Me? My dentist is. I love him. Jack Tunze. Yeah.

What's going to happen when Kalyla moves out? So my point is, is that I don't. You're going to take care of him. I have to fucking handle this. I chew. I don't chew. So I swallow food like pizza whole. So that's not good.

I don't think that's very good. I think whatever you decide to do. I don't want to die, man. Whatever you're trying to do. Help me, dude. Help me, man. Whatever you're. Why do all every guy calls me man or dude?

It's so. Bro. I am being misgendered and no one cares that I get misgendered. I think guys do that as here's it helps us. Oh my god. I'm going to say something sexist, I think. I think I'm about to say something sexist.

Let's try. But I'm going to try. I'm going to give it. I'm going to give a shit. It's a joke. I think this is a real thing because I've noticed. I've done that with female comics in general, right? Sure.

What's up, bro? Comedians. Comedians. Like the other night there was this girl that opens for Steve Burn named Monterey Martinez. Do you know her? Not personally. Yeah. And she has buggy eyes, like bigger eyes, right?

So I just started attacking her eyes. Like, can you see everything right now? Right? Like, are you constantly shocked? Leave your arms down. I'm going to go cartoon. And I'm attacking her and I go later, bro. Right.

And I just walk away because I want to because I'm overcompensating, I think, because I want to treat them equally. But the only way I can treat women equally is as a guy friend almost. And I don't think that that's the right angle. Sure, sure, sure. Do you understand what I'm saying or no?

That's why I say chief. What's up, chief? Or, you know what I mean? Bucko or anything that, you know what I mean? To put them in the guy category because I don't want to. I feel like chief is on its way out. Yeah, probably. Yeah.

But like, Bucko is how about that? I love Bucko. Bucko's good. What's up, Bucko? I love Bucko. We're all right. And they always seem to go, you know, I'm also a rough house. Like I'll just like give a little punch on the arm.

You know what I mean? Sure. All right. Or I'll like, I'll grab their neck and do like a little rough housing. Like, you know what I mean? You should not air this. And I flick the cities. I feel like.

But do you understand what I'm saying? As your friend. Do you understand what I'm saying? I've been on the receiving end of all of this, all of this. And that's why we do it. It's out of respect. That's exactly how I feel when I go to a comedy start. Dude, dude, it's out of respect.

It's out of respect. So much respect. All right, guy. I will say the most turned on I have ever been was I was walking to a Starbucks that was next to a Panda Express. And you weren't working that day. And a Jamba Juice.

And there were these like three. And you know when you're like walking, there's like a table of guys and you know they're looking at you and you're walking alone. Yeah. You know what I mean? I mean, this is a little like, and I'm walking to Starbucks and you like know that's like three guys and they're like,

I don't know, like whatever. They're just like cool guys, the belt and the stitching on the paint, like, and they're just like kicking. And I'm walking and I'm like, not going to make eye contact with them. Right. And I'm just like killing it, killing it. It's like 10 years ago. Were they cute?

I like wasn't even going to look. They they acted like they were like out of my periphery, their body language was like hot guys, like peanut guys, like three guys that are just like wait, like just watching chicks walk by. Right. So I'm like, I'm going to. So then that's your runway. You're like, got you, got you.

Like slow motion. I'm trying to make these guys that I won't even fuck want to. I imagine a guy that looks like Michael Linochi and Stephen Fury, these type of guys. Right. That's really funny. No, that's in my head.

I'm trying to imagine three marqueses. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. That takes it. How about two marqueses and one Brian Monarch? Yeah. That'll definitely do. Yeah, there's a fourth Skyler Stone in the back.

Sarah, tell us get in the. And so I walk by and then just because you're curious. And I like look over just to like see what they think. And this guy just looked at me and he went, what's up, dude? And I literally, I've thought about it every day since it happened. Wow.

I like that. It was such a weird. And then I like went and I like disoriented. It threw me in a way that was so hot. Yeah. And I don't know. I don't know. I'm doing it from now on.

It was like genius. It was so genius. And then I drove away and I was like, does he think I'm a. Wait, so does he doesn't. It just combobulated me and I still think about that guy. I do like that. So up to look me right in the eye. So up, dude.

Yeah. Why is that? So it's also like funny. Like it's like a funny thing to do. And I just like I've thought about him ever since. Yeah, because it wasn't even sexual. He was just like, acknowledging you. It was also like, hey, sweetie, hey, honey.

Yeah. What up, dude? Like, I don't fuck you. Yeah. Oh, wow, whatever. Wow. Don't flatter yourself, bro. Okay.

So I have a little. Write this all down. What I am, but I have a little problem I want you to help me with. Okay. Oh, my God. I need to know about. Are you guys getting on apps?

Like this feels. Okay. I have to have a rush. You know, I don't know where to start. I also think I need to be alone for a long time. So I'm not anywhere there yet. But then when you do, what do you do? I don't want to do Raya.

That seems so just not my baby. If we see each other on Raya, though, can we still swipe? Yes. Swipe and just. That's still because if if your name pops up and I swipe. Yeah. And it doesn't match.

Yeah. It'll break my heart. Hang on one second. If we swipe, did we fuck that night? I think you guys should have read that. Sorry. I forgot you stopped. Have you guys stopped?

I forgot. For some reason I was like, he likes me again. I love you. Deeply. What was your question? Like you guys are like, do you still occasionally just sleep together or just like we're not? No sex.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. But like we're still really the hard thing to break is the tenderness and the huggy. That to me, anyone can have sex with anyone. Like no girls. I like I think people would be way more jealous of like you two have this bond that it's tricky. The guys that come into my life. I haven't even dated like a comedian.

But the I say to people, I'm like, I will. You will never be as close to me as Nick ever, ever. We can have kids together. We it's and that's OK. And you'll just find the person that's OK with that. The guy that I'm with, he's very busy. He's a veterinarian. He works a lot.

He doesn't have a ton of emotional needs and he loves Nick and it's the three of us. That's perfect. Yeah, I think the dreadful situation I imagine is meeting some girl and then her slowly trying to get me to hate Kalilah. I don't think they. And if that started to happen, I would just cut that fucking cancer out. You would. You'd have to.

But yeah, I think that's what's tricky right now is like when I see him how to break the habit of wanting to just hug him or be close. What about you? Is that like? Well, I've been trying to like break away. Yeah, break away and do the boundary. I have to, by the way. Yeah, yeah, it's hard.

I have noticed. Yeah. It's going to take and it's also like y'all are so like there's no like resentments or like this is so mature and it's so adult. Like it helps me because I'm, you know, I'm in recovery from lip addiction and. Oh, yeah, but but you put these bottom lines down where it's like if you're going through a breakup or starting, you just go like, OK, for this next week, we're going to be easy on ourselves and we're going to do whatever this next week.

We're going to just not hug and just fist bump that just like to put like it's not. I was talking to my therapist and she said six months ago, she said she was talking about, I don't know why we're talking about people that get divorced and I go. Because we were talking about our relationship. Right. And she was and basically she's like not all of them and, you know, with a custody battle and, you know, I mean, a lot of divorces and in a loving, mindful way. You mean thinking of all the people around them and doing it in a way

where the relationship relationships are still intact and there's still deep love for the child as well. There's children involved. And I thought to myself, you know, if I ever did break up with Kaleila, that's the only way that I could do it because, you know, I think Tiger Belly is our child. You know, I mean, we have seven animals and there's a lot of things. That's a tricky one. The animal and you didn't just love each other.

You like each other. I really like. You love each other and like each other. She's OK. It's just and hit the road. And you've done so much work in this era, you know, and it's like, you know, we make fun of conscious uncoupling that whole Gwyneth Paltrow thing. But it's like, I mean, the name is a little tricky, but it's like there's a way to do it

that is it's so disrespectful to yourself to have 10 years with someone and make it shitty. It's like that was 10 years of your life. It's sacred time. I mean, it's like. I don't have it in me. I don't have an even like an ounce of respect. Yeah. Well, I know this because even people that you saw in the past in your life are still

in your life. I know them. Right. Right. So like that's how I how I know, you know what I mean? It's going to be OK. She's that type of person. I think the only thing that hits for women, I think is going like I just lost 10 years.

You know what I'm saying? My firm skin. That is so funny to me. But here's what I'll say about that. This is where I go that or you could have done what I did and just dated instead of I would have rather dated one amazing person for 10 years and built something great than a different idiot every year for 10 years. You know what I mean?

And then you get to a situation where you're just like and I would rather have done that. And then now that I'm a little bit older when a guy is into me because I'm not, you know, whatever. My skin is very firm. I use lots of laser. You look great. Thank you. But I'm like the guy that I'm dating now, I'm so into him because he's into me and I'm not 20.

There's something that's so much hotter about when the guy that's going to be so obsessed with you and you're not you are in your front. You know what I mean? I'm not going to get. OK. The woman in their body. Guys on Instagram, stop sending me on Instagram. Can I fuck Kaleila?

I'm getting hundreds of guys now that we broke up asking me on Instagram direct message and stop fucking doing it. I could promise you that the first couple of times that I have sex will not be with a man. I haven't made a commitment to like getting. So I have a problem. Whitney, can you help me with this? Yes, this is Whitney. I couldn't even look him in the face when this happened.

So yes, she's the right person for this. OK, so last week we sat down after one of our podcasts and we decided let's reach out to comics we haven't had or performers that could be guests on Tiger Belly. So what I did is I went to my phone, my contact list. I think we're listening to the Neil one Neil Brennan, which I love, by the way. It is weird because you like don't want to ask people to be on your podcast because it's like you're like it. But so many people ask.

We don't normally have to ask. Right. Am I making me stand? No, I don't get what you're saying. Well, just when Neil was like, how can we have an ask me to be on? I would shoot myself in the head before I'd asked Neil to be on my podcast. Yeah. You know what I mean?

But then you're like, well, why haven't you asked me? I'm like, why haven't you asked me? It's just like there's no like co there's no consistent procedure yet. This is beyond that. This is beyond that nightmare. So I went through my whole fun. I was, you know, it's there's some names in here. I was like, you know what?

They're going to say no, but I'm going to reach out anyway. Right. New Bob. New Bob. New Bob is like a self worth. Yeah. And so Bobby Lee. So I, you know, I and people that said no in the past.

I reached out to like Sebastian Montescalco and he wants to do it now. We're fine. I'm trying to find a date. There's other ones. So I went down and I got down to the tease. Right. Titus. And I saw Daniel Tosh in my phone under detox.

You are such a fucking masochist. Oh my God. Okay. All right. So I go, Hey, it's Bobby Lee. This probably isn't your number anymore, but can you do my podcast, please? I love you. That's what I said.

He responds right away because Bobby, I would love to brother here. Send your folks, have your folks send me the details. And he's like, thank God it didn't change my number. Right. So sweet. Sweet. Lovely. So I go, thanks, dude.

Explanation goes, he goes, of course I'm honored. And I almost cried. I'm like, Oh my God, this guy's that's what's going on. So you're a Scientologist now. What happened to us? So the next day it says, Bobby, your podcast today. I'm so sorry about you and Kalyla. He goes all into it.

And then he goes, let's get then this is where it gets fishy. He goes, let's get together this weekend. I'll be in LA. It'd be great to catch up. Love you, man. So I'm like, wow, he's religious or I don't know. Like I'm around, it's been tough. Let's get coffee or something.

Let me know. Then he responds right away. Straight, say strong brother and then this and that. And then I look up at, you know, I don't have his picture saved, but I looked up into this photo right here. Oh my God. And it says, Tosh. I don't know what that means.

So I Google Tosh and it's the same Indian guy. Wait, I didn't even know this. I told you, Whitney. Sit down. Sit down, please, please, please, please. Oh, that's such second hand embarrassment over this. Oh my God. Wait, who is this guy?

Right, right. He's T.O. He's a diverse person? Yes. Right. So I saved Dan D. Tosh and I put, I should have put Tosh as the anyway, I saved it as D. Tosh. So then I go, then I go, hey, Tosh, I thought I was texting with Daniel Tosh,

the comedian, sorry for the miscommunication and misunderstanding. Ha, ha, ha, I'm so sorry. And then he goes, hold on, the fact that Tosh sent you to his people is the craziest part. Wait, who is he? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Wait, who is he?

Exactly. But you know, I looked him up. He is the CEO of this company. It's like a tech company. What? He does have people. Why is he in your phone? But this is how I changed, because in the past, I would have gone,

I'm just going to have them have them on my podcast. The fact that, the fact that he, we always had to try Tosh, some random guy on our podcast, just because I fucked up on the whole thing. Tosh, yeah. He's the founder of Chard. We got to have him on. The fact that we have to have him on now. You should have known like this isn't for me.

Yeah. So in my head, right? I'm like. Narcissist was like, he, he, I'm sure this happens. Anyone that has a name similar to a famous person, it happens all the time. But they don't have a similar name. Daniel Tosh and Tosh. Yeah.

That's his first name. If a comedian is, that is not known for having all, you know. Right. The cards in the deck text you about his podcast. He should have deduced like, oh, he's probably talking about Daniel Tosh. Right. But this is how dumb I am and how I don't read things. So the initial, his initial response was love to brother.

Have your folks send me the details. By the way, in the fact, like I already knew it wasn't Tosh when he was like, I listened to your episode of Tiger. I know, I know. Sorry about your breakup. Like he goes, miss you so much. Vicks and I got to see you at the comedy club a few weeks ago. You should.

In my head, I'm like, who's Vicks? I don't know no Vicks. All right. Because I know Tosh. Can you imagine Tosh watching a comedy show? I know. And he would have called it the store, not comedy club. I mean, there's so many signs.

But in my head. And he's like, I saw your skit down at the comedy club. You're like, what? Yay. How? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So I not only did I not not fuck you, man. Fuck you. When he came home and told me this story, I was like, get out of my face. Yeah. Yeah. Remember, I called you and I go, I called him. I go, don't. I called him.

I go, don't email the guy. I was so disappointed. That's right. To somebody. We're going to finally get Daniel Tosh out of the other five years. Have you loved Tosh's? No, I don't even have his fucking number. You have his.

Can we FaceTime him? No, no, no. Don't FaceTime now. I'm so embarrassed. Please don't not right now. Well, you just don't respond. It'll go away. You just have to not respond.

No, I already did. I said, I mean, he said he at the end, I apologize. And at the end, he goes, it's all good. Yeah, it would be the first cheers. But now I have to get Tosh on here just for like at least 15 minutes and go. I'm so sorry. Yeah, that'd be funny. What it?

I feel like we milked that for all it was worth. I feel like that was the perfect ending story and it's over. I feel like it's over. Anyway, so do you think I handle it well? Not particularly. But yeah, that's just a nightmare. But the bigger question is Tosh, has he ever done a podcast? That's why I thought, oh, my God, he doesn't do all the other ones.

So I'm like, this is going to be great for me. It was worse for me because when he said Kalyla, sorry about you and Kalyla. I was like, he knows who I am. I was so excited. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And don't get me wrong. I mean, if I saw Daniel Tosh on the street, he would hug me and we talk.

Of course, of course. He's the nicest guy in the world. But I just don't have the kind of relationship with him like I have with others. You know what I mean? It is weird though, because there are some times that comedians, especially now after the pandemic, I think people who they really are is coming out. People that used to be toxic are kind of now like healed. People have had to make a decision at the age we are,

whether they're going to heal or stay assholes. And sometimes people that were rough or rude or that you were scared of now are like, people have come out the other side, either better or worse in a way. If that makes any sense with all these cancellations. I don't know what it is, but there's been a little bit of a reckoning. And like I was really nervous to ask Gabriel and Glaceus to come on my podcast. Oh. Like I was just like, I was just like, I don't really know him.

I'm a fan. Like I've seen him, but we don't, we're not like, you know, I've never, he's always, he's just like always selling out stadiums, but he's not the comedy store hanging out. And I DM'd him and I was like, I'll probably never respond. He brought, you know, and I was like, hey, do you want to go right away? Yep, absolutely. I'm there in August. I'd love to come.

And it was like, of course he would be like that, but it was just kind of. One of the nicest guys in the world. I was, yeah. Get Gabriel on there. Yeah, I love, not before I have him. I want to see if he'll pick up for me right now. But I'm just saying, I didn't know what to expect. Yeah.

Of course he's nice, but there are times where someone that is really nice, wants to do your podcast right away or like, this is cool. It's, I guess. I don't have his number. Sometimes it's surprising. I get what it's like to go like, to be, and you were intoxicated by just that. Yeah. The answer, yes.

Yeah. And I think there's something really sweet and sort of innocent about just going like, yeah, this is Josh. He's just this guy now. Yeah. That's what I thought. Not that he's not that guy. I'm just saying that like, no, no, there's no way he is going to respond with a gigantic

chunk. Anyone that is a comic that's coming on the podcast is good. I'm not going to talk about the breakup here. I'm going to talk about it when I fucking go on. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Comic would have held it been like C of the 15th, not going to say anything else. Right.

Right. Right. Well, I'll save it for the content. Also, I should have just looked, you know, the biggest giveaway was I should have just looked at this upper photo of an Indian guy. Yeah. But you don't your vision is not good lately. I'm going to update it.

Name and just delete that person. No, you can't. You're going to make this mistake again. Now he's he's on the thing. You didn't based on those rectangle. Those are those are long. Those are rectangles. Those are vertical rectangles.

I could have told you could flip that around. I could have told you that was in touch from over here. Oh, right here. That's long. Yeah. There's no way. There's no way. Yeah.

There was one sentence. No. Yeah. Like Sebastian's. I can read your Sebastian's. Oh, hilarious. Yeah. I can read your Sebastian's.

Sebastian's is. This is a fun game. Let's go through. Let's do this. Last text. Santino's not you. Okay. So yeah.

Let's do last text. This is you. Last text. This is usually a comedians back and forth. Okay. Right. Just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Right.

Okay. Well, yeah. What's the last text? By the way, this is my this is my exchange with Sebastian. Just look at the look at the blue. Yeah. On the right is me and the left is him. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One word. One word. One word. One word.

Yeah. That's him. One literally one word. Yeah. This is Desperado. Let's see Andrew Sint. No, wait. Is Sebastian makes me feel like I'm chasing a guy in high school.

Just like always. Always. Yeah. I'm like Sebastian's here. Should I say hi? And he's like, hey, I'm like, okay. He's a hi. Yeah, he's a private guy.

We're very good friends. I mean. I love him too. Yeah, you never know, what was your last Santino text? Well, he's out of town. Well, no, I know, but he's Santino. So the last text. I can't even find it.

Mine says, oh my God, so cool. Okay. Not bad. Like there's those games where like the fourth to last photo on your phone. Right. You know, what is it? Oh, here we go. Yeah.

For him, it's all him and not me. Right. It's all him and not me. Which I feel bad about. Yeah, but it's all mostly him. But it's him because he acts as if I'm his like unknowing little brother, even though I'm much older than him. And he's like, you got to do this.

You got to do that. And it's him nagging a lot. You know what I mean? Is he the responsible guy on the podcast? I don't think without him, there would be bad friends. Right. He kind of is. Unhelpful advice.

What? This is too long. Unhelpful advice. Whitney Cummings. Are you by bombing? I was. You're killing it. It's great.

This is I could go on. Listen, honestly, when would you shut the fuck up for a second? Let me say something, right? I just came. Usually at 30 minutes, I'm like, you know what I mean? I'm looking for the fucking the ghost. See that ghost right there? Yes, I do.

That ghost is on there when it's at what? Around an hour. An hour. OK, I love you. So usually at 30 minutes, I'm always looking for the ghost. I just realized the ghost was there. Thank you. Oh, good.

Yeah, which means because you're looking at this ghost. Oh, my special comes out July 26th. Hey, yeah, yeah. You want to promote chief? Sure. Come on. My special is on Netflix. It's called jokes.

Oh, awesome. And what is an error? July 26th. All right, everyone. So it's out. I think it's out. It's out. It's out.

Please watch. Go ahead. Thank you. Yeah, it's great. I haven't seen it. Go ahead. Hi, guys. First, I love Kalyla.

By the way, the headline is your girl from Saudi Arabia. I'm 25 years old studying abroad. Glad to read. She's not from Saudi Arabia. You can read and write. It's already a... Well, I'm 25 studying abroad in London alone. It's been almost a year and I haven't made any friends

other than my classmates. It's getting boring and I'm afraid I'm wasting my time at this great opportunity in London. I know it kind of sounds lame, but what would you suggest I do to make friendships? I do go out, explore, wasting my money on brunches, but it would be fun with someone. And I don't do anything spontaneous with strangers,

as I'm very paranoid about getting murdered, especially that I live alone. In London? In London. Not from your hometown, Saudi Arabia? I don't have anyone to trust to go out with. What do you think I should do? Her name is RF.

Friends, how old is she? 25. Making friends with 25. From Saudi Arabia? Hold on, hold on, hold on. I feel like we're missing. She is worried she's going to get murdered, which is why she won't go out. Or meet strangers to go out with.

It sounds like there's some deep trauma. Mistrust. Saudi Arabia? Yeah. I wouldn't even think of that. That doesn't even pop in my head. When someone says I can't talk to strangers, I'm worried about being murdered.

Or maybe she's joking. No, no, no. But also women are, you know, I just, I mean, don't you think that it's just a dangerous world out there and women just have a higher. Yeah, of course. And I think everyone listening to these murder podcasts, I think gives you an exaggerated sense of,

but that's to be afraid of being murdered. That's, that's, that feels like something that needs to be a paranoia or fear. If I didn't have the comedy clubs to go to or alcohol, AA meetings, I would have no friends, right? So what I, my suggestion to her is to find some, I know you're friends with your classmates, right?

But to join some sort of club. Murder someone, go to jail, and you'll have a roommate. Yeah, yeah. But find something, you know what I mean? That you, that's an interest, that's a hobby. Or, or by the way, get a job. That's how most people meet their friends at work. That's what you do.

So I'm not saying maybe she doesn't need one, but just like working at a cafe for three hours. Yeah, yeah. Part-time, a part-time job. Part-time job. If she's on a student visa that does have restrictions. Okay. How about do, can you do service work?

Sex work? What? He worked like a legal leader at a bar. Oh yeah, just under the table. And under table job, under the table job. Yeah. Oh, that's a fun one in like a bar. Like, you know, where there's a lot of patrons and people you can,

you know, talk to in like a safer, safe-ish environment. Sure. Is there some sort of Saudi Arabian like club? Is that an Arabian? Like some sort of like, you know, night club? No, because if I was, if I came to LA from Korea, I would go to Korea town and I would go to, you know what I mean? Like not a cafe blue or no.

Yeah. Cafe blue and hang out like, you know, amongst like-minded or people that look like me. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. What? What?

Were you at the, were you at the insurrection? You know, it just sounds, what do you mean what? What do you mean what? So you're saying when I came here from the Philippines, I should have just looked for Filipinos? But wouldn't you feel more comfortable with Filipinos? No, the Mexicans took me and the Filipinos shunned me. Same thing, close.

I mean, it's like, you went to the closest thing. Like for me- If there were no Koreans, what would be the next? Filipinos. They would say Chinese or something. No, because when I lived, when, so I, from Minnesota, when I was a kid, I lived in Minnesota from two to 10. Then we moved to San Diego, right?

And I was always around white people, right, in Minnesota. And so when I went to this new school, I congregated to like the Filipino kids and they all had mustaches. And they were my age. They had full-blown mustaches. And they were named with Santiago or, you know, whatever, right? And I'd be hanging out with them, you know what I mean?

Yeah. And they- How come you can't grow a mustache like me? Because I'm 11? You know what I mean? You fucking mutant. But my point is, is that- My point is, is that you, don't you, is that not a thing?

I don't know how to make- But I also, I guess one thing, this is not helpful advice for now. This is for, in 10 years, you only, I believe you only need like three or four good friends. As someone that was like a friend hoarder for the longest time, there was like the more friends I have, the more loved I must be, or the more, you know, and then you are stressing out trying to service them all

and then you're like, I'm a bad friend to everyone, you know? But I think that, I think that meeting people through work is always a good thing, keeps you busy. But I also, that's very interesting, because I guess she wasn't able, because a lot of people are friends with people they went to high school with. In Saudi Arabia, are you not allowed to fraternize or something?

Like, or I guess it's because she's in London now. Anyway. Sorry. What I want to say to you is thank you for Clubhouse. That was, there's no more advice? Why do you want to keep going? I want to have fucking dinner, dude. You know what I mean?

I want to move on with my life, man. This is a great episode. You know what? If we kept going, I would want more material so that we could save the obviously, but we already killed it, so why would I need to go more? I should ask New Bob. All right, I'm not doing it anymore, all right?

You fucking killed it. We got what we needed. We got your shit out, Netflix, July, July, July, whenever it comes out. July. July, whenever it comes out. It's a hit, man. And also, I want to say that we learned a lot,

and it was a pleasure for you to have here now. You know what I mean? That's Gary, that's Gary Cannon's around. Are you coming to the commissary tonight? Yeah, I'll see you tonight. Give her a round of applause. Thank you. Hey, Prime members.

You can listen to Tiger Barely Ad-Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to Ad-Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com. Thanks for watching, and I'll see you in the next one.