TigerBelly - Ep 362: Harland Williams is a Virgin Saving Himself for Marriage

Episode Date: August 24, 2022

Bobby does a grizzly mock charge at Golden Corral. Harland needs your help with Cinnamon Angels Fly Fly Away. We talk raccoon hands vs koala hands, candle intimacy, and the love stare. Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Oh, you're getting him all the zoomies now he probably can't stay What would you do with them just you would stuff them we get stuff we get stuff on yeah, yeah We'll just fill them with what would you fill them with Cheetos probably stovetop Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, it smelled good, but he'd be dead. Yeah, and it would remind me of a family gathering. I Love your hack guy guy guy Can't should I can it up? You know you don't like hands or not. I love I live for can yeah put them on You put them on the other way words Raquel Welch about that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, can you maybe do it the other way so the wires?

Yeah, yeah Dumb that way twist your sister. Yeah Twist your sister good band in the 80s man. Oh man that guy's hair looked like chair stuffed on a landmine Diana's living room Exactly like that Oh, wow, what's up? We got Zilla. We got yeah hands. Yeah Guck got the crush, bro. Yeah, we can talk about the crush of the second. We show the t-shirt I will when I introduce them and stuff like that. Oh, wow party. What do you mean?

It's just like there's a party happening. There's no party here, bud. Bro. I'm partying hard You are I've been to your parties. I like them you yeah, you've been we've been yeah Oh, you went to our slam a fourth of July. Yeah, I got slammed real bad. Yeah Got some priests there and you got rolled. I got rolled up. You've been rolled by fucking priests or what? Oh, yeah Yeah, Glendale Galleria parking lot Yeah, cuz they hang out there right tan van in the back with the teardrop window on the back, right? I was skipping there. Are we on cuz I don't know if I should even talk about this one. Yeah, I was skipping I'm a health nut and I said I skip I

Walking's too boring and running's too hard on the bicuspus Latteroid yeah, collateral So I skip and it's just the right plan, right, but no one likes a skipper. Yeah, so We've frolic together though. We've frolic. Yeah. Yeah, frolicing is good with you We've fun frolic in that motto wait. We found a meadow black-eyed Susie's buttercups So what mark meadows is backyard mark man? Yeah, if a staff mark meadows is backyard We frolic there and we were gonna insurrect. Anyway, let's start. Go ahead. Yeah, welcome. Welcome. Welcome again To the tiger belly party. Yeah, and I'm the DJ

Yeah, we got I'm not done And I have to introduce you don't say shit It's flat I didn't say that man That's racist towards your own people man. My bad. We got George town Nothing interesting to say about him The mic's not even on that's so fucking sad Do not you had this opportunity Mike wasn't on it's just a sad moment Just leave it at that. All right. Don't say anything say what you're gonna say. Ah

the white nothing It's worse the second time. Oh, yeah, that's it dude. Oh That hurt. Anyway, Kalilah my best friend my life partner put it here We've got we've got somebody that's ridiculous. I'll tell you why he's ridiculous Sometimes when he brings me up on stage he goes my son's coming up And he goes tomorrow morning. He's transitioning I'm Bobby Lee. Sometimes he brings me up as Sarah Silverman. Yeah. Yeah, which I like that's pretty cool You like yeah, I do like it a lot

He's the one guy that sits in the back row of the OR and you and I do a lot of fucking a little play We play a lot. Yeah, I mean, I'll say what's up, man And you'll say something ridiculous like where your corn chips hustle. Yeah And I'll go I don't know what you mean that oh and you get physical with me a lot Like you like punch me and pinch me and and push me and stuff Yeah, I like doing that because it's like I get excited to see you I know but I feel like you're testing your perimeters with me. Yeah, I haven't gotten sexual though You know, no, no never never sexual. It's just it's like the way a grizzly bear

Kind of checks things out. It kind of you know, like a mock charge Wait grizzly bears do that. Yeah, most a lot of big animals do. Oh, they do If you're at a golden corral buffet, sometimes fatties will rush I mean, oh, that's what you mean. I mocked our that's what I'm not yeah Yeah, the bear reference didn't get me but the fucking golden corral dude that really got it Have you ever been there? I love it man. So I tripped and fell once face forward into the Brussels sprout I came up and they're on my Thought it was an owl

Oh That's probably a true story man Here's the dishes at Golden Crawl. They have ribs like roast beef mash potatoes and an actual bowl of cholesterol Liquified Is it the same as like a hometown buffet more like a homeless town? Anyway, let's introduce our guest. He brings me up as that, you know, he's been in a bunch of movies scene stealers You're a scene stealer. Yeah, you said it not me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah He's done the podcast before when I did premium blem he was premium blend

He was the host of the show that I was my first TV spot one of my first TV spots And he didn't say hi to me that night because we were friends then but it's only later in life We became friends and then um, he's also We would I'd like to talk about it not in detail if you don't want to but he might have a movie that he's doing that He maybe wants me in Yeah, chitchat about it and also could I just say this? Oh my god I love his shirts and he wrote he always he always makes original shirts for people I don't know how much they cost. I don't know how long they take but this one he made and it says I love Tiger Bell

I love my tiger. I love my tiger belly and there's a tiger with a little belly there and Dude, I've wanted one of these shirts for so long. You know that, right? Yeah. Yeah, dude Well, I wanted to wait till sometime special and Yeah, yeah, I draw them right on the shirt. Yeah, we you loved as a kid not not really I mean, were you like hugged and no not no, I wasn't no you're getting right to No, no, because I here's I don't know anything about your upbringing, right, right? I don't know what your dad did so I want to ask you about the path, right? Anything you what did your dad do for a living?

So my Farland Williams by the way Harland Williams, thank you. Yeah, what you drink crush crush. What flavor is that? This is a Grape, but I call it rape because it rapes So rape drink I crush just for me just for you. Yeah. Yeah, what did your dad do? So my dad was a lawyer Really? And my dad was a politician and he was the equivalent to the attorney general Here in Canada. It was called the solicitor general. Oh in Canada in Canada's not called the solicitor So my dad was a solicitor general and then he was a member of Parliament and then he was also a lawyer

Oh, wow, I did not know that. Yeah, what's your mom do? So my mom? Wow, what didn't my mom do? My mom was an author Wow, mom was a a Librarian she was a marriage counselor Wow Yeah, she did everything she was a singer she she did my mom did everything. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it seems like a good upbringing then There's more it sounds good. Yeah, you know what they're great parents great great wonderful. Yeah, folks my dad We called him Halley His name was John, but we called him Halley because you could smell him coming. You had horrible halitosis Okay

But no But he would they were they were really good parents. They were great people wonderful people Four sisters Wow four sisters too younger too older So I was squashed in the middle the only boy the only boy, you know what I sense that you do Yeah, you have a very just like effervescent kind of like I always feel happy and like safe around you Wow Yeah, good. Well, you genuinely are I have to be honest to you and I can't say this about a lot of comedians You did and I've never heard a bad word about you Wow ever not one thing and number two It's a miracle for a comment. It's a miracle and number two

um, I For some reason I trust you into like if I had if I robbed a bank Right, and I came to you. I know where you live, right? I went to your house Yeah, I got hide this million dollars for me Matt You know me I think you would hide it and then not spend a dime and then ten years down the road Yeah, I mean, I would I would hide it for you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't even know if I'd ask either What do you like like when someone just drops ten million dollars? You know a they got the best scratch lottery card at

Yeah, or you know Wells Fargo was stock just went down Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so I wouldn't ask I just say you do it. You need to hide ten ten mil. Yeah, daddy's gonna let you dig a hole Barrier cuz knowing would make you an accomplice. It's safer not to ask. Yeah, that's right. That's right I would just let you come in and Dig a hole and but what I have to do anything for you. No, no, no, that's That's friendship man. When you you don't you don't ask for thanks. You don't ask for anything in return. Yeah, and Here's another reason why I know you're a good guy. You hang out with Orney Adams. Yeah, or any Yeah, yeah, because I love Orney. Yeah, he's complex though. Yeah, we're all complex. Yeah

Yeah, all incredibly complex. He's a complex guy, but I get go or any when I talk to him Yeah, I fucking get the guy. Yeah, he's neuroses. We're similar in many ways. Yeah, I mean he complains a lot He asked a lot of questions. Yeah, why am I not? You know me? You know me? He has the same kind of tone that I have you know, yeah, he's wonderful Orney's Orney's one of the guys and I tell him this all the time. He's He's in the comedy business, but he's such a he's such a craftsman. Oh my god He's a guy that you know a lot of people nowadays just kind of fling it and wing it But yeah, Orney's a guy who meticulously sits down and structures a joke and structures an act and writes two three hours a

Day wakes up with coffee. Wow. And like I remember one time I was at the improv and he goes I gotta do this avocado pit And I go why I wrote it today. Yeah, I'm gonna do it He goes I have no punchline for I have no idea how it's gonna go, but he's really a real comic I think he's a yeah, he really is hard to follow to when he's on fire, dude That guy's great, but so are you well me me and Orney have a thing He actually just texted me the other day saying no one can follow me and I said I can no problem Because I I he and he knows this I like following guys that are really good

You do because it makes me kick it up a notch, you know, I love it. I also you are so I honestly I Can't This is the honest truth. There's no one on planet Earth. I can can compare you to Your joke. I mean, it's like though your crowd work Is insane? Like I have no idea. Do you make that? I mean, I have no you know, I mean, I can't even like you mean Hey, hey, sweetie. Are you smiling or you have mashed potatoes in your ear lobes? Oh, yeah, I don't know something that you know, I mean classic. Yeah

Hey, you have finger feet for feet. I don't know what I might you know, I mean, but yeah, I can't do it He does it. You should try it. Well, I'm doing it right now. Good. Hey Your orange is like the or orange are the most orange, but if that's how though that you're gonna go call Trump I can't do it, you know, man. Yeah, but how do you come? Thank you? I don't know, man I just I just let it come over me I I sort of open my mouth and let stuff fly out. Yeah, I try not to think of it. I let it Just just channel through me. What I whatever it is whatever and you accuse people of doing things that are not doing like

You'll go. Yeah, excuse me, sir. Can you not look at me? Yeah, or excuse me clap. Don't clap You're clapping too loud sir. Yeah, or something like that. You know anything goes. Yeah I just I just like to make it up in the moment, man So you don't write your shit? I've never written down a joke. No, I've never written down a joke. Wow. Yeah, I just don't believe in it I I find the process of doing stand up picturing someone writing and I hope Orney doesn't kill me for this but Pitchering somebody writing or typing a joke. It just it's too technical to me for me. It's all about flow It's just about the spirit like you were saying earlier, you know, it's just so I approach it from a different

Vantage point, but you do have an idea, right? Like when you're driving the club, you'll go, you know, I'm gonna talk about you know I mean The the backs of owls. I don't know what you talk Sometimes, you know, a lot of the times I write my stuff sitting Watching waiting to go on stage. So we usually get there 15 20 minutes early and I Felt a real like yeah, tell me about it. I don't know. Is it Leprosy I

Felt like something dropped off your body sireis sireis. Oh, that's right. Oh, like Leprosy, Jr. Not to be confused with Carl's, Jr.. Yeah, it wasn't but yeah, never driven by a leprosy, Jr. Anyway, but I Imagine a guy with leprosy working in a drive-thru like he hands you your bag and his hand comes with it Yeah, I wouldn't give it back. Yeah, because I was just like a like it's some sort of like prize like a happy meal Well, I'd be afraid to open my bag of food because his hand would still be clawed and you'd have to like go like this To get your into your fries Burger. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that would be traumatic for me. I think and just that he didn't do the friendly wave goodbye Hey, thanks for coming in with his good hand. Just be a knob

Yeah, yeah, I never think about why do you think of stuff like that? He makes me Yeah Right, right, he's a conduit for insanity. Yeah, right. He just gives an energy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah See dude when you talk in there, right? You got to make sure it's on because when you open your mouth and no one can hear you It looks foolish. I Told Gilbert to turn it on, you know, I was I told him I was gonna be out of heater this time. So, uh, okay He treated stand up like ten times

Oh, my god, you have to watch it's so bad. I think I'd rather I mean, does he seem funny to you? I don't know. I don't know you. I've just I've just met him Just based on his energy now. I feel like he has a good sense of humor. Yeah, okay good funny disposition Yeah, all right good vibes coming off him. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think he fucks good? Uh, man, it's I don't know. I don't know. I'll think about that tonight when I'm in the van with the priest. I Don't know. Yeah, you never know how people Yeah, yeah, you see you see plow. Yeah plow is the is the scientific term. Yeah More organic. I've always said that plow through pussy. Yeah. Oh plow is the correct term

Thank you for saying that what how do you say the whole thing? Plow through the pussy when a man goes through, you know, a lot of sex partners. I just say plow through pussy Either on board or not whatever you heard. Well, I've never heard that Yeah, but that's there's like farming and stuff implied to it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you need like a John Deere tramp Yeah, I've never plowed through pussy before You know, I mean, I've been inside them you plowed. I've been with many many many partners. So yes, you wow Oh, okay. Well, if you so you're saying plowing is of sex. Yeah, it's just going through a Large amount of large number of crops crops a lot of crops, right?

But what I'm saying is is that but my crops is a smaller land It's a smaller farm. It's not like I know dudes that have like these corporate farms and they do massive farms Irrigation and whatnot right and I'm sort of a mom-and-pop one like I do organic Yeah, I mean, you're yeah, you're stable the smallest. Yeah. So plowing would be appropriate then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I see you as a plower. Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah, is everyone a plower that does it or no? No, no, no Oh, good. Thank you. That's why I'm in an elite love elite wait What a girl like when the guys are out we have this type of slang weird But when you're out with the girls like hanging out at it's you know, the palm olive factory

Like where like what are the words you guys used it to say like horrible things like Getting dick down catching a dick skull fuck catching a day skull. What? Yeah, I just real not a character in Thor I'd say girls are pretty way more graphic about Describing sex than men are with each other because I think that we you know, there's a Yeah, it's a man do the bragging we do the details like the really graphic stuff to the tea Like do you have an ingrown hair here this that you know, the scooting motion all of it is being talked about So, um, you guys do it would break my heart. Yeah, and I feel like you've done this about you. Yeah, like you've like Dick shamed me. Oh, I have

Because I genuinely love your penis. I love the way you have sex. I love your penis I've always had fun having sex with you. I plow baby. He's a plower. I've always I've never said anything bad about you Which is why we were together for ten years. Yeah, I have I talked shit about dudes in the past usually when they're not nice when they're not You know what I mean? Like, you know when you've been used for sex. Yeah, those dudes. It's fair game I'll say whatever the fuck I want to say, but no not about partners. I would never do that. Well, you said fun That that I just when you say fun. I picture a bunch of children with no legs in a bouncy How is he fun actually like

I want that doesn't seem fun to me. That's not fun That's just horrifying. But what it what did you mean fun? I've never heard that associated he always had you know, you can always I've been with men who I know have watched porn on our trying to mimic or almost orchestrate this like perfect sex scenario. Yeah He's never given up. He's been weird in bed like he does He has his own style his old his own rhythm. He's just free. He's free free man. You're like what I do on stage Yeah, I do it in the fucking goes. Well, you're having sex. You're like, hey carrot head There's a mashed potato in the back of your ass crack and then

Wow So we are kind of the same in many ways just do it in bed and I do it on stage Yeah, this is how guys talk about it, right? And I always like how gentle you are you're kind of I'm fucking gentle as fuck What do you mean like hold you? No, no, no, like you're not like You don't have that like machismo like, you know, like you don't do that. He's got raccoon hands Maybe a little koala That's me coming Mask on your face. Yeah

Pussy shame me. Well, this is what you do And I've noticed I've never talked about this before right is you know when I pull out and I jerk off to come Yeah, right you get into it like a you sit down Indian style That's not the way you said it native American native American right and you look at me and you tilt your head Like a dog. Yeah in like almost like your Mesmerized by but also questioning it like you know, I'm here, right? To up your fly at least

I know you're a Christian. I'm so sorry man. I am now I was atheist when I walked through the door but after watching you do your Marcel Marceau mime show over there I'm ready to walk through a wall and punch Casper in the twat So you don't like it when I do that just no, but don't look like you're it's like No, it's like you're watching that. What's that one Christopher Nolan movie? That's really with the with Matthew McConaughey is in it interstellar Like you're watching interstellar like like to explain myself. How about I'm watching in your cellar

I Like to explain yeah, go ahead. So I'm jerking off and you're like looking at my dad No, it's like this. You know when you're when you're ready to go. Sorry. I'm sorry, man It looks like you have a piece of celery in your head Yeah, like at least go like this Now it looks like you're bouncing a koala Yeah Yes, I genuinely like like that's that's my kink

I think I like watching dudes in their most like what I think is the Blankest moment in their minds that they'll ever be which is coming I don't think there's a thought between those eyes when dudes come and I have a kink for that I'm like, look how fucking stupid he looks right now, and I like it. It turns me on. Do you say that like ever said Stupid you look right now, and I don't mean it that he's stupid But really like when you're coming like by a lot, then there's nothing going on in your head. Whoa Wait a minute What do you mean? That's not true for you. Oh, I think a philosophical thing. Yeah, like Sartre

You know me like that the plane no exit Right, right, you're right and Hell is people Right, is that the last line of no exit hell is other people? That's what I'm thinking dark shit. Okay. Yeah, I mean Nihilistic what are girls think of when they're having their big? Oh, same thing. There's nothing. What do you think of Harlan? When I finally do the big O do one I'll let you know Haven't done it yet

virgin Saving myself saving myself for the mortician I Hopefully he can get me one just as my eyes Yeah, yeah, let me ask you something. No, thanks. I'm busy What but you've never masturbated whoa What husband's left ass she is

Come on here Sorry, dude, I thought I could cross certain lines and barriers, bro I don't know that I'd see if we were out alone just having donuts at Winchell. I Won't let you ask me that I know right right right you can ask it But there's a lot of stuff. I will never talk about your sex No, just a lot. There's a lot of topics like what what you won't you talk about? I won't talk about my marriage my old marriage. Ah There's just things that are sacred things, you know, right things are sacred that but but that's what's interesting about you guys

You guys are so open it blows my mind. We're learning that things need to be safe It's not cuz it's at a cost for sure. It is at a cut. That's why I keep stuff in but I'm also jealous I'll be honest. I get jealous of people that can just be so Oh, blatantly wide open. Yeah, because in a way, it's very freeing It's very releasing because you're not putting up any psychological walls or barriers like it It blows my mind and I'm jealous of it, but I'm also like freaked by it, but that's why watching this I feel like Fuck the flat screen. This is Netflix show I've ever seen

But you know, we're not together anymore. Oh Oh Yeah, we're not. Oh Sorry, yeah, oh So what can't we do it now or do you can do what? Yeah, yeah, no you you are I mean, holy shit But I think that maybe that was the root of some of our problems Do you think is it's that we we let the world he gave too much?

I think of our relationship to the world. Oh, yeah, yeah, and then Um, yeah, because then it's not yours anymore intimacy is Like it's like a little ball of fire that burns inside you and it's like you ever see those Candles that you can close the and they're inside like you put a candle in a thing and close it. Yeah glowing. Yeah That's intimacy But when you open that door and everything just flows out to the world, but the candle's still burning Yeah, but it's you're the heat's dissipating and the light's dissipating and it's it's not your little warm little

Burning ember anymore and it's it's again I'm not saying it's bad to share it to the world, but you're right I think there's a cost to it But then I would throw back at you Please is there a cost to not opening up to the world? It's that's that's the thing about the human mechanism, right? You just We're never gonna know the answers to these things But I like you're the way you do it where it's like you are open, but certain things are sacred. Yeah And I wish I had learned that less than a little bit sooner because I think we you can still be

relatively open and giving of yourself without letting 100 of your 100% of your life be up for consumption Yeah, because there's two schools of thought one You're creating fodder for people, right? Yeah, you've got all these people that are really Guarded and they're using your openness as fodder just as entertainment or as a spectacle And then the other thing is if you kind of give too much of yourself away Then what do you have to give each other anymore? That's you know? Oh You're right

You fuck we did it. We should have done it We did it. We fucked it up. Oh, no, I'm not You're right No Arlen We should have done it differently. No fucked it up. No way. Yeah, but let me see. Yes way But let me say something. I wouldn't change it for the world, baby. That's what I was just going to say You can't it's it you can't change the program. I listen. I am who I am. Yeah, and um

I use podcasting to vent It's gotten me in trouble. You know me I've I've said enemies of mine on air that are in show business And now they're blocking me on instagram. You know what I mean? Yeah, I use it as a way of venting And and expressing my frustrations But I beg of you. I beg of you whoever you um see next in a serious way in a serious relationship I beg of you not to do. I'm never seeing anybody again. You can't say that. You're my last one. You're my last and fine You're saying that now. That's fine. You're the last chapter of that book

But in the beginning when you um when I wasn't even podcasting yet You would give a lot of information about me like that was that was I'd never gave you permission to talk about right? Okay, I'm sorry the abortion. No more than just that like the color of my pussy and things like that. I am sorry It's a beautiful color. Um, you can't find that color in the crayon box. Are you serious? It's a beautiful color. I gotta know what color it is. It's like a magenta-ish peach. Oh, that's like a caribbean sunset Have you ever had a flamingo fly across? Sometimes I do notice that yeah, I just want to blow a conch shell and watch you dance Is that yeah, it's a vacation

When I look at it, it's like I feel relaxed. I can hear birds chirping. Oh, you know, I mean I think you know it's called club med sex, right? Yeah, dude, but you're right. I did things and I'm never gonna do that again But then I did the same thing like as soon as I He was like, it's just be free kalayla be free. So then I bought into it and then I started to Mimic exactly how he was which is well. Fuck it. I might as well now that it's out there I'm just gonna you know, put it all out there, too and But what was the what was the the drawback to it? What was the the effect that you didn't like exactly like you said

You give it all away to other people. What is left for each other? Like also they use information that you set at one point because everyone can go back and then they use it against you, right? and it's like um Yeah, there's certain things that are like personal Right that I don't want to people to use but they are using these personal things that I have real deep feelings About against me and making fun of me about it and it hurts even more because it's like number one

I'm the one that put it out there and it's also when it's personal like that It just hurts more people can go online. I don't think you're funny. That's just your opinion Right, but when they're people people are using like personal things that I Have said about our past or this and that that hurts, you know, I mean, so it's like but that's also our fault That's what I'm saying. That's why you honest. I honestly believe I'm never going to see anybody else again. I really do. I honestly do you believe that harlan. No, uh, thank you Here's why why? Because you don't have any control over that. Thank you. Oh, I do. No, you don't

I'll tell you why right now. That's what I'm gonna do I Stop my mouth. I hang on. Yeah. Hang on. Rape Here's why bro, sapphiyosh. Okay Better help now a word from our sponsor Better help you guys. Yeah, I talked about better help all the time. It's my favorite thing in the whole world You guys I know, you know in this day and age after covet the pandemic things are rough for people people get sad I have a lot of trauma a lot of weird things I have to work through

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Therapy is essential. We really blew that here our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhealth.com slash belly You guys it's going to save your life That's better help.com slash belly. And once again guys, that's 10% off your first month if you use better help dot com slash belly Okay You're my friend. Yeah, you're you're a charming dynamic and i'm this isn't i'm not blowing smoke This is just who you are. You're a charming dynamic magnetic guy personality

Essence and energy And as much as you want to repel The world or girls or your family or whatever Like a moth to a flame People are drawn to that energy to that light And someday a girl if that's what you're trying to block out A girl will be drawn to that light and very powerfully maybe the way you were Yeah

And you will sense that girl's energy. She will come into the light and you won't be able to resist that energy You you will let her Like that candle though like the candle you talked about with that little mechanism that it's inside, right? I'm just not going to open that thing Right that thing is going to be locked. I say you will though because she Her energy will cause that door to slowly open Right, what if I have a different another what if it's under two different walls? I think I'm blocking energy as well

I think everyone says that but I think there's always a person comes along that knows how to melt the ice But I agree. I don't know I and thank it. It's a beautiful thing. It's not a beautiful thing and it horrifies me No, it's great because a lot of the times when I don't want to fall in love and you put up those walls and Paper up the windows is exactly when that Person that's strong enough to get through I can't no let me you're about to say note that just I just have to refute you. Okay, please refute. I cannot wait I can't because I've thought about this People say this you're not the only macho man

They said this He's on butter You're gonna say macho Yeah, all for every action that's equal and opposite Oh That was ultra fucking Button back up. Thanks. Um, well you got your fly open. I mean, it's okay but I

Everyone people have said guys have said this to me right because I've I've said this privately to be like I Have no interest at all. I no longer no more right right and I can't wait five years from now Right, I'll run into you again Harlow Right at the club in the back And I'm gonna look at you and I go it's been five years not one person. Yeah, but you believe me then I will but it could be the next day after you say that that it happened 20 years from now Then 20 21 years after that Someone will never ending fucking thing. It's like all those circus mirrors. It's you're a human man

Can I ask you a question? Go ahead? How fun was it though when we first met and fell in love? Why would you because I don't I know You're ins again that was Bobby regardless of how painful this ended. We had a blast for 10 years Yeah, we built this amazing thing together for 10 years. Why would you why would you deny yourself the opportunity to Create a new chapter in your life because I now have seen all three of the Star Wars movies And that's the thing right the first one the one the JJ Abrams one was pretty good And I'm like, this is the relationship right and then the second one came right Ah, not great third one

Even you know, so you see the whole series Right, so I'm cool. What's the first one called the force awakens. Yeah, you know, I mean in the beginning I love the force awakens. Yeah, you know, I mean I do right, but I've seen the return of the Jedi the last Jedi and the last Jedi So that's my point. I don't want to see all of them if there were all the force awakens, right? But then you'd have to leave two years in And I don't want to do that. I did that before you every relationship. I talked to Sarah there today

My, you know, Sarah Highland the exit, right and I go two years I that was it but Kaleila was 10 years, right? I saw the full movie And um, I just want to go through that again But what if it doesn't end the same way by it will Why do you say that? What if it's a completely different storyline? Not even the Star Wars? What if it's because I'll be I'll give you an example I would love every single episode of next gen. It's so many episodes. No, not every single I went to ride it last night and I ate medieval at medieval madness the ice cream, right?

I've tried every ride eight flavor Right, and I've had I've had medieval madness before I don't like it I don't like it. Have you had a birthday cake remix? I did great, right? But sometimes I'll get that sometimes I'll get the chocolate chip pistachio. That's how I'm like with pussy Okay, all right, so if you had the uh green and brown blob on the floor in aisle six by the I don't think you've had that. I haven't had that. It's got ants in it My point is is that you know, I just you know there's I think

By just being a male Maybe I want variety Oh, that's fine. Maybe I think all males are like that. I think some of them Get locked in and they have these Dutiful things and they have They're part of you know, you're an institution that you're married. You're part of this thing and this agreement But I don't think that's instinctually What you want to do? I think George you have a marry you have another on the way. Congratulations

I love I think your first kid is beautiful. I haven't met the second one yet. But my point is is that um, it's great, but um Might be a little silly, but um Yeah, but my point is is that I'm pretty sure You know, I mean, I hope your wife is not listening But during the live set that one night that we did the live There might be some girls there that you probably were eyeing like I wish in a different universe that I could plow You know, I mean Yeah

You're you're you're saying you're open to fooling around with girls. You're just saying you're not gonna get in deep with a girl Is what you're saying. That's what I meant. You're not gonna fall in love deep a deep I still think you're right. Yeah, that's the thing you you doing all this talking, but I'm telling you bro You have no control when that one girl walks through the door and kicks your walls down You're helpless Has that happened to you? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's all I want to know. I went over I lived in Germany for a while when uh, this was in uh, the late The mid 80s

I lived in germany. He did and I just gone through a huge breakup and I went over to germany. I said man I just said everything you just said And I grew I'd never had a beard. I grew a beard out to try and look gruff and look like uncapped and And everything I could do to keep girls away and I had I'd turn all the radar off I wasn't like, you know, what do you mean? You dimmed down the the the energy vibe for women and And uh, I was working in computer animation and there was this guy who was teaching us this this guy who worked at the company I was at and

Every night his girlfriend would come and pick him up. Yeah, she was Stunning. She was like a young fay done away with long blonde hair German like just unbelievable I had nothing I didn't want anything to do with her. We're all at a party one night and I was just at the party and I'd been around her for a few months and I was at the party and you ever have that feeling when someone's looking at you And you can just feel it. Yeah, and I'm at the party and I'm just going what the fuck is going on And I could feel it and I look and all of a sudden I looked across the room

And this girl was just staring at me like Carrie's mother It was just like this look That was like I love you and I just flew across the room and I go. What what are you doing? And it was on I thought she was dating some other guy. She was Whoa, it just she found me the two moths flew into the light and it was It was I didn't want anything to do with it. Especially. I was overseas. I didn't want to find a girlfriend over in Germany. Yeah Yeah, it was it was like boom. How long did you see her for? I was there for about a year and a half

And the final the final night we were together We had to drive up to Hamburg for a film festival And it was the most romantic setting you've ever seen so they wrote this it was nighttime Outdoor film festival and in this water fountain In Hamburg they set up this huge screen like must have been 80 feet across 60 feet high gigantic and an old black and white Elizabeth Taylor Richard Burton movie was playing

And we're standing there kind of up against the wall and and it was it was just there in the background And it was me and her and I said I said baby. I'm going to America I'm I'm moving to Hollywood in two days And I said I gotta know right now. Do you love me? And she said I love I love you and I said well one of us has to move Me or you like And it was just it was so incredible this this movie playing in the background You could hear the voices and you could see it and they were like, you know 90 feet high these

Elizabeth Taylor it was just But it was exactly what you're saying like I Is that how big she is? She's 90 feet high But it was it was anyways my point is I I tried what you tried and and at some point Someone just gets through the barrier. I'm I just learned from you just now When someone's staring at me leave But that's what I mean. You can't I will you're it's like a tractor beam. No, you once I get that to me

Do those are pain eyes? That's a different eyes. That's a different stare. The love stare is To me love and pain eyes are the same eyes. No, no, no, no. Yeah, you'll see guy 21 years guy Guy love you. Love you. Yeah. See a Carl's jr. In half an hour curly fry It's gonna happen. All right, if you say so but be happy about it about what about finding that next person everyone here It's it's a beautiful. We ours is so recent Yeah, it's a month and we still live together. Oh sleep on the same bed. We watch things. We're watching the boys Yeah, but I've reconciled with the fact that like with what you're saying. It's like at some point

I want to move on with my life, you know, you'll have the same thing And even though I feel really grim about it now I do believe that I will have another chance at another story He's both of you and that's the beauty of life. My story is done short story No, I remember my essay when my grandmother my grandmother was very religious She she was her husband died. I think he was in his 70s. My grandfather died rated his death She went to pick him up every day one day. She went she went in he was face down on his desk Is this real? This is real. Wow. My grandfather Neil O'Donnell and

She was very religious and she said I will never Be with another man Neil was my whole life and we all believed it. We were how old was she at the time? Oh, she had to be in her 70s. Wow, and we were like, oh, yeah, but nanny will never ever like we and two and a half years later She had a boyfriend named Clyde who had a little chihuahua And we couldn't believe it and and I was I was sort of sad but I was like, man, that's life It just you can't shut it off. It just love just keeps coming Sometimes it takes years or months or weeks, but

It'll find you kid. They plowed and if it doesn't I will I will I will I will love you Not sexually, but we'll go camping You know, you do burning man, right? Yeah. Yeah I thought the deal was you were gonna take him to his first burning man. Oh the last time, right? Do you want to go? Last time you were here three years ago. We talked about you never invited me one fucking time Covid hit they shut it down. Have you been there? Is it still going? It's this is the first year back. And when is it? It's uh, September. It's august the last week of august first three days of september

What are you gonna go? I'm trying to get tickets. You get tickets to go to the desert Yeah, oh, it's not easy getting tickets. It's not easy to get to burning man Well, you get to buy tickets at why there's a guy there Uh tickets, please. No, there's a there's a there's a lottery. They do a lottery to win the tickets It's it's a process. What if you just don't if you just showed up you can't go in you can't go in It's it's a prod you you're lucky to get tickets to go to burning man Oh, so there's a year that you you harlan williams won't be able to get in yeah There's a year when a lot of people can't get in but if you really want to go you got a kind of plan for it

I have to shoot estrus movie I can't do it Can we talk about your movie now? So I've been going to the comedy store. Yeah, and harlan's been going. Hey pal Hey guy I'm doing movie Right. Yeah, and I'm always like cool, whatever You know, I'm like, yeah, he's like I want you to be in it. Is it real?

The movie is real. Yeah, we're when are we shooting so We're right now. We're debating between shooting in september Or in the spring it's in flecks right at this moment because There's just some issues with the producers, but there's money there Scripts there. I sent you the script. Yeah And uh, you don't have to tell me now if you want to do it or if you like I'm I'm already fucking in dude You are that one time

You picked me up to do your movie and you drove me to the desert and had to be in a trunk Yeah, remember. Yeah, and I didn't get any money. Yeah, that was a friend's thing. This should be like I know but I would say if I'm going to do a fucking friend's thing I'll be a real thing too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's it's in It's supposed to happen, but I don't have a direct answer right now, but it's In all likelihood it is. Yes Oh, so there's there's a percentage that it might not happen. There's there's a percent no It's gonna happen, but it's whether we do it in two months since all right, right or we have to wait till the spring

Yeah, so you wrote it. I wrote it. Yeah when during the pandemic. It's funny. I wrote it 12 years ago Wow, and we got everything up and running and then the bottom fell out And then 12 years later it came back and and now it looks like we're gonna go so No, I mean is do you have other people cast in it already or no? Uh, we have one other guy that wants to do it. I can't say okay. I'll tell you after a big guy Uh, he's big in the comedy world. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you you probably love him. He's he's amazing Yeah, perfect for the part. Oh awesome. He says he wants to be on board and uh, so And then the rest of the casting I've gone to you

I sent it to sherry otary at SNL. Oh, yeah And uh, I just want to bring in all the funniest people. I know to you know to make it rock and roll Yeah, I am going to read it. I haven't read it. I know that's okay. I know I got it But can I say something? Yeah, is there is it a linear storyline because coming if you wrote it? I'm pretty sure there's a forest in it and there's creatures No, it's actually very linear. It's a so here's the premise called wingman Uh-huh, and it's about a professional wingman who helps guys pick up girls or pick up Or pick up guys. Oh, wow. Wow. And so the wingman's kind of this over the top austin powers

Ace ventura type guy It potentially could be me, but we're we're trying to get that's what's slowing it down We're trying to get a big name like jim carry or jack black or something like that Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so that's what's slowing us down at the moment. Are you directing it? I'm directing oh, okay Okay, so yeah, oh my god And so the movie's about this this over-the-top guy who helps this guy who's Gets dumped by his fiance three weeks before the wedding. He hires this maniac and he turns his world upside down Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's gonna be a lot of fun. Oh my god. Yes. Well, that's congratulations, man

I'll do it what bro. I'm gonna fucking do it Oh, thank you. Am I playing a chinese guy in it or no, no, you're just you're Well, I mean you're you're playing you. Yeah, there's korean guy. Yeah, it's just bobby. There's no there's no There's no like ethnic thing attached to it You're just a if I want to do an asian accent. Would that be weird or no if you want to I don't I'm bobby I just want to extract whatever is the best comedy No, I would just play my I'll play myself. Yeah, that'd be interesting to see asian actors now go back to doing wanting to do

Accidents, you know, they're trying to divert from accents. Yeah, I'm the only asian actor that changes white roles or regular It does an accent Yeah, well, I wouldn't mind whatever you know, I would never do that to my people Yeah, because you did the asian accent in the other movie the first move I did Yeah, and fudgy. What'd you fudge? What did I play kangaroo, right? You played kangaroo. It's a riley And you're a little you're a little you're played a chinese guy. Yeah, and how did I do it? I you had your hands like Little kangaroo hands. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I went I did an accent Yeah, you did like give me a line and I'll try to do it

You you did a lot of like Confucius say you used to say something my father once tell me If you eat broccoli in the wind, you'll get that chauvin for dessert Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think I really remember you did all these weird like like Confucius say type of things I just remember it being the weirdest movie. I had to be you I went to your house at like four in the morning I wasn't mad early five in the morning. It was early. It was early. Yeah. Yeah We had to drive out and they like get in the car and I just in your pickup truck And we're just driving into the desert. Yeah, there's no crew. Yeah, there was just there was like

I should took me six years to shoot it. I know I know I shot it with my I know I'm not making fun of it. No, I know. No, you were amazing But I just like we just you imagine just being in a pickup truck With harlan williams and you're just driving in the desert. Yeah, you have no idea what the fuck is gonna happen Yeah, right and I just remember being in the desert. Yeah, why do why kind of just been on the 405 Why did I have to be in the desert because we shot most of it out in the desert and I know that desert really well Oh, yeah from the burning man the place that we shot. I don't know if I ever told you that but I actually owned that land That's right. You did tell me you own that you still own it. I still own it

I bought 20 acres in the middle of the desert And so we shot out there. Yeah It I just wanted that look that empty vacuous empty space and Yeah, it was great, man. Do you still talk to that girl from Germany or no? No, no, how did that end? That ended So we had to do this thing where I had to leave. I said, I said, I gotta know baby I I'm moving to Hollywood. This was just I was in Germany. Then I made my move to Hollywood

I knew I had to make a run at Hollywood. Yeah Well, you were doing stand-up at the time. I was doing stand-up. I've been doing stand-up seven years at that time And I was ready to go and I had a sponsor here and because I'm canadian so I had a guy who sponsored me in And who was that guy? Howard lapidas. Uh-huh. He recently passed away about two years ago. I'm sorry. Yeah, but um He was the guy that opened the door to bring me in And uh, I said to her I said, you know, one of us has to make a move and she had just finished university And so she said I'll I'll come she goes. I gotta write two more exams and then I'll come I'll be there in three months and And so three months turned into six and six turned into nine

And then I went over there to visit a couple of times in between and every time she told me she was coming But then broke the date The light started to fade a little more In every in me every time she she broke that commitment The light went dimmer to the point where the last time she did it. I just said hey If you're not here at this date at my front door, I said I you know, I waited almost two years for yeah And I just couldn't do it anymore and she said I can't be there and and so I said that's it and the light went out and then of course what always happens, you know

Six months later. She writes to me. This was pre-internet, you know So it's all letters and phone calls. Yeah, she goes look. I'm ready to come over and I'm like The lights that the lights dead and I said, you know what? We had something so amazing. I was so madly in love with you and you with me. I said come on over. We'll see what happens And she flew over and she's supposed to be there for three weeks and Look man when we made love it was like heaven. It was it was amazing. Yeah And we slept in the same bed three nights and on the fourth day. I said you got to go Like well not not mean but I said

I don't feel it like I couldn't even make love to her anymore. It was the light was out and it was such a disappointment, but but Had she come when the light was the beam between us was still Powerful who knows I might have been married with kids by now with her, you know, but you know Who's to say that the light even if you got married that would diminish. I mean, yeah, I could have yeah Yeah, what my question is does it always diminish the light? The the light can dim, but then if it's a real deep love, I think the light can Come back up or the light can change its glow like like with my parents

They To me on the surface did not look like people who loved you. They were like, hey john, where are you? I'm down here Lorraine. Oh, come on. Give me my sweater. Shut up waffle tits or whatever But But the love they had inside was you could just see it and feel it like there was probably no more intimacy or romance But the love Was still there very powerful, you know So yeah that light can change the density of the light. I do have to say my love for kalayla

Uh, will always be there. I love her so much. I really do and um, you can't lose that Yeah, it won't go away. Even if even if even if this was a volatile ending I tell you the the love would still be present even you know might take like five six ten years for any animosity to wear off But the love you have for her is it's locked for eternity, you know It's um, she was like you said that because the other night when I saw sarah Sitting at the belly room steps because it was a girl friend of mine an ex and I um, she was going through some Depression or whatever and I just remember listening talking to her. We hugged and I was you know kind of robbing her back And I you know, I thought to myself

She's different than anybody else because my connection with her is on a different level You know, I mean, and I will always love this girl. I really will you know, I mean Obviously, I don't have any sexual attraction to wear anything or that stuff But there is something that she's somebody that's like attached to me. You know, I mean, yeah, you've you were always I love that about you is when we first got together like how When you talked about sarah, I could tell this was someone like you deeply loved and respected And that was a green flag for me. I don't I don't usually like

I I wouldn't give you would have given you the time of day if you were trashing your ex in any way So, yeah, I do believe you love her a lot Harlan and I this whole that podcast has been winking at each other every second every second You've been winking I have a fucking fly in my eye Oh, yeah, oh shit, my bad, you're hurting me and your fly is open I Yeah, you know, I um It's because the first time you were on I was like

Wow What a great episode And this time around I'm like, why haven't you done it more? Done what my podcast? I mean, you're just so great Well, thank you. There's just something about you that I just we've wanted you back for a while. Yeah, we love you We love you. Wow. You bring such good energy into this, man. Yeah Well, I'm not the type that kind of Likes to get in people's faces. So I I kind of wait to be invited and bobby graciously invited me recently and

I'm I'm super happy to be here. You know, I'll be honest bobby when you have me on the first time I did not know about the whole youtube podcast world. I just thought everything was on audio I didn't know people were filming them and do it like I think adam corolla was doing it But it felt more like a newsroom with him. Yeah But um, I didn't know like you were the first podcast I did and I didn't know how How popular that was I I I went on your um thing like I swear to god I think about two two years later. Yeah

And like I like I looked at it. I looked at some of it when I don't usually look at stuff I do I looked at some of it when it first went on Yeah, but I looked at it two years later and I I looked at like the numbers at god and I went Jesus, this is this is a whole new it's a weird weird world. I was very naive to all of it. You know I'm gonna put it up. Just you can see how The number is basically or it's oh, yeah, it's a lot. How many is it? it is It really surprised me. I I didn't know it was

But oh, I remember this How much how many numbers is that he's like 400,000. Yeah, like it's ridiculous. Yeah. Yeah. So in a way You and and your buddy Andrew Santino and rick glasman. They've had me on and it's inspired me to Put up my own podcast Yes, the harlan highway harlan highway do check it out and I'm very kind of uh feeling my way through it I've only done like 15 episodes. Yeah, I'm I'm I gotta be honest. I'm a little bit out of my element So I'm I'm I'm trying it. But yeah, you you you helped inspire that. Thank you. Yeah, I was I was like I would love to do whenever you want me on the harlan highway dude. I'm there bro

I want to do it when it's worthy of having you on so I'm gonna try and no What why don't we try to help you get it going? That's nice. God. That's what I want to do I mean, you're like one of the most I want to say this here's how I knew about you. Yeah when I was in san diego as an open miker, right? They had this guy named Kevin. I don't know what it was a guy from san diego who lived in la Kevin mcdonald was his name, you know, you probably don't know him and because he quit doing comedy But I remember he would come back to san diego and he would play the laugh factory, right? And he would go I would ask, you know, I was a doorman. It was 1995 96

And I'd go. Well, who's the hottest guy there? He goes harlan. He would always every time harlan williams is the guy there Where was this? In san diego when I was in san diego. I had a friend that would drive up to la And hang out at the laugh factory in hollywood, right? And he would tell me like I think polo francisco was a guy But you were a guy like your name always came up from him like he's the future or whatever whatever So I always you were always in my you know, I mean in my consciousness as a as a comedian early on You're mean somebody, you know, I mean and now that I met you're a fucking douchebag. Anyway on do we uh A real shit box. You know, I mean canadian fuck

I'm hopeful so we're gonna do it. You know what this is the people email us advice Oh, wow, and then we try to answer them. All right on hopeful advice with harlan williams What's up? This is a simple one. What's up tiger belly fam? So I need some advice And for some reason I think bobby could help with this a lot. I'm from texas and it's getting hotter every day Due to the heat. I am constantly getting swamp nuts. How can I prevent this from happening? any tips swamp nuts kalala for you as well swamp Whatever

I'll say do not do the talcum powder thing. It's cancerous christenogenic. What about baby powders at the same time? Don't put baby powder talcum. Yeah. Yeah, don't do that. I like swamp nuts. Yeah That's because they're swampy now. You don't have natural crotch scent Yeah, but they're swampy now. I can feel it like my my sack right now. No, babe not in front of harlan. Okay, but my My my sack right now is sliding off of my thigh Yeah, I just know that there's like a slippery slide thing going on there. Do you have lily pads on your balls? Well, they're always in a swamp, right? Yeah, no lily pads, man. Okay. Yeah, but um, you know, like they sweaty. Is that what he's saying?

Yeah, what are swamp balls mean, man? It's like swamp ass when you have like, uh, you know Yeah, swamp. Yeah, swamp. Yeah, your ball your way. My balls are wet because of the heat. Yeah How do you deal with it? I just let it be I think this guy's jeans are probably too tight. Like he's probably wearing like tight jeans or something Oh, right. You got to let let the air in there a little. Oh, yeah when we wear shorts Yeah, boxers Or you could do like you like just keep your fly open Yeah, I mean, I do your nuts get swampy. No, man. Really? No, never

No swamp ass No, no, it's weird. I yeah, I don't I don't get all even when I do sweat I don't I don't like stink like I don't have body odor like I I can sweat like crazy and I don't reek. Yeah, I don't know why I should but yeah, it's weird My question to you, when are you gonna have your next pool party? That's a good guy. I almost was thinking of doing it on July 4th, but I just I don't know I wasn't in the mood yet. COVID's kind of made stuff a bit weird. Yeah, but Um, I think we got to do one soon. Summer's here

Would you would you want to come up and have a splash around? Let's splash around. Yeah I'd love to come splash with you. You just want to wash off your swamp ball Yeah, no, I like your pad though. It's cute. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, please. Yeah Come on up There's a fly in his eye. Yeah Do you recommend anything that have you seen anything good that you like? Did you see the maverick? Oh, yeah. No. No, forget the maverick go see What's it called? Everybody everything everywhere. Yeah, amazing. Amazing. You know, it's so funny when I watched that

I was like, this is like Harland ask. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, it's so brilliant Yeah, and fun and it's like Imagine even like pitching that to a Studio, I mean you would like I wouldn't be able to get that sold here. Give me the log line How would you pitch it? What's the elevator? I can't even it's like, um, a chinese lady who has a laundry mat All right, okay with her husband. Have you seen it? Yeah. Yeah, yeah And there's an alternative reality like different dimensional realities realities multiverse multi Thank you. Are you the executive in the room?

Yeah, a multiverse and, um It just goes in and out of these multiple. I mean, that's how I would probably pitch it Yeah, yeah, it's very complex very multi layered. Yeah And then what I love about it is just when you think it's kind of hit it's It's plateau. Yeah, suddenly there's a new scene where you're like, whoa I did not like I won't give it away But the scene in the desert with the two rocks. Oh, yeah, yeah all this action and then I won't say what it was But then all of a sudden you're there. Yeah, like so it just keeps giving it's one of these movies where it's a brilliant piece of

It's really great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean even Andrew Santino. It's an art house movie Even Santino this Dodo head this Dimwitted redheaded dodo head who doesn't know anything about art or nothing. Yeah, right? It was like it was brilliant And when that dump I want to see the artwork, but I can't you know what I mean the what word the our word you know when they're Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but anyway when this ding dong goes

Hey, you should watch this. I was like it's gotta be good Cause he's so stupid. What a fucking stupid idiot He's in italy right now Stay there. He looks like he's having a blast. Fuck him Yeah, but that's what dumb people do when they see eat ice cream or Look at one ice cones or not one of the other ice and the The flavors jala jala flavored ice shaved ice shaved ice. That's what I'm trying to say, right? He's he enjoys it

Oh, you got him, baby. Yeah, I got him burn your face. Did you fucking dip shit? Enjoying ice Yeah, you're fucking stupid tell you have you been to italy guy guy haven't don't need to guy. Why not? Don't you like lasagna? Get lasagna here guy guy, all right Settle down our dude. Don't get combative with me chacho. Wow. Hi Can I drop a little thing about my charity? I ever follow it as a charity go ahead. This is It's tough to talk about but it's uh, it's about a allergy

It's called cinnamon angels fly fly away and it's for children that have cinnamon allergies and uh, it's all the money goes to I don't know if that's a real thing. I don't know. Maybe it may be Is that a real thing? I like yeah, you can google. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm so so I'm so sorry. Can we just cut that off? There's probably a child right now. I know swollen ankle. All right. All right. All right. Can we just start over and say it again? And I'm so sorry. That's the fucking my bad. I'm so sorry No worries. No, thank you. Thank you. So cinnamon angels fly fly away and it's for children with cinnamon allergies and We take the money and if you want to just send it to I have a A p.o. box and if you can just send check certified checks to uh, my p.o. box will give the address later and uh

The money all goes to these kids. They get cinnamon and they they're ankles What the fuck bro these children are suffering ankles their ankles Is that a real is that a real is that a real are you allergic to anything? No Okay, then you shouldn't laugh. There's so many other just can I just ask a couple of course? There's just so many other charities that seem like that should be on the forefront like cancer And other things, you know me. Yeah, but that's what I'm sorry, dude. Oh, fuck. I know my bad. My bad did my bad

So just say the p.o. box thing again. So it's cinnamon angels fly fly away p.o. It's a ridiculous name cinnamon angels fly fly away I'll tell you how the fucking yeah, tell me how that yeah, tell me how why the fly fly away Tell me how that he's getting a little mad here, but I was at lax at the airport And they have a cinna bun that they say the cinna bun thing and his His mother was walking along with her child And you know how you can smell those cinna buns in the airport and this kid collapsed on the ground right in front of

cinna bun and was convulsing and fucking having a seizure And I was like, I'll be god damn if I ever have that happen on my watch. So I started uh, cinnamon angel Cinnamon angels fly fly away Way, you know No, I don't know so maybe change the name Really like my way doesn't make any sense because there's an airport. Yeah Oh, that's not why I didn't and when they die they fly fly away on a cloud of cinnamon

Okay, so check that out Stay tuned to that How do you how do you say stay tuned or what do you say check it out? Check it out. No, no, um Um, if get involved get involved get involved cinnamon cinnamon two cinnamons one One cinnamon cinnamon girls Cinnamon angels fly fly fly away. Yeah. All right. So go check that out. Yeah. Thank you. Any other charities are good No, the only other thing I'd mention is my t-shirt. I have a website called harbling.com And you can go and buy

Your own hand-drawn t-shirt. That's amazing if you if you want to get how long does each one uh take for you to draw You know what some of them take a lot yours took a long time because I there was all the stripes and everything I wanted to make it nice for for my friend, but uh So yeah, there's some of them. Yeah. Yeah, and uh and basically if if if the if the original prints The original one sold out we make prints of them, but I won't make prints of that one because it's your show Yeah, if you want to make prints of it you can but I won't this is amazing Um, but uh, yeah, so and you it's medium like you asked me because you asked me what size size. Yeah Fucking amazing, dude. Would you really wear it? Of course? I'm gonna wear at the comedy store now. Are you back to back?

That would make my day great. So go to harbling Yeah harbling.com. How much is a handwritten shirt cost a hand-drawn shirt? They're they're they're anywhere between like 80 bucks and 200 bucks. Yeah. Yeah, because they're like you're basically wearing a piece of art Yeah, yeah, yeah, and they must take forever. No, some of them do like the kiss one took a long time Yeah, that's you got to charge 500 bucks for that. I didn't I was like I think that was like 200 bucks And the graveyard one. Yeah, those are all sold those ones kung fu carrot didn't take quite as long but There's one on there that I don't know if you can scroll down But there's one of the real popular ones keep going down. Yeah, there it is

It's death eating his favorite cereal life Wow, that's so fucking cool That that one really went over weird. So we have prints of those and you can get them on coffee That's amazing, dude. Thanks, buddy. And do people go I want this and you draw that Sometimes people put requests in and I'll draw it. Yeah go scroll also. They do coffee mugs But I try to just do stuff out of my imagination. You know, but it's just really original and weird It's good fun. That's amazing. Yeah. Anyway, give Harlan Williams a round of applause. It's amazing. Hey

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