TigerBelly - Episode 102: Foot Drizzles

Episode Date: August 2, 2017

Bobo crunches plastic. Khaloko has a foot ritual. Gilbo is the next lover. George is a piece of wood. We talk farmer love, spa winners, and learned helplessness.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly ad-free on Amazon music download the app today Hey Five four three two one May be far away Or may be real nearby He may be pouring her a coffee She she may be straightening his tie May be in a house all hidden by a hill

She's sitting playing piano. He's sitting paying a bill but you're there young but you're whatever Whatever It's my favorite. It's my favorite jam right there, man. You've never seen that movie man. It's legit. It's called Annie And it's got her little red Albino afro kid lover and this song is song when she's on the windowsill and her parents abandoned her or whatever and She would have turned into a fucking street whore if daddy wore a box in the saver So that's a really beautiful. Um a beautiful analogy of life Ambition of what probably my favorite rendition what I just did that song

I did it for real and I did it legit and I did it organically and I didn't force the issue and I'm pure Mm-hmm, and we're all pure here and we're all here living side-by-side in a neutral circumstance a neutral circle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I'm gonna tell you this right now, man I'm jazzed. I'm jazzed about live You I went to Utah this last weekend and bro that city is lead legit And I'll tell you why a lot of Tiger belly fans my friends. I did a show and this guy came up to me

teary-eyed And he came up to me give me a fucking uh a Mexican hug because you I think was Mexican or just the feel of a Mexican hug. No, he was definitely a Mexican A little note of thanks. Yeah, he was the front of the card says he was sweating flaunt. Well, that's definitely Mexican. Yeah, and He wrote me a letter a little a little note of thanks. I'll just read to you Thank you for everything You're welcome It's gonna answer each line. Yeah. Thank you for everything. You're welcome

Listening to your podcast has helped me really think about my life. Oh That's me from not caring about what others say or think about me to accepting that things will get better in the future Maybe maybe not for you. Ooh, but probably Right. Yeah, your relationship with Kallala is amazing and you never fail to make me laugh bingo You would bingo You two are so perfect for each other. I think that Kallala, do you think that I don't think she thinks that Oh

Gilbert and George really add to the humor as well High five George. Oh, okay, never mind, especially when you just make fun of them Again, thank you for all the laughs and I have I hope every day gets better and better for you You're listener from the slept kingdom Michael Daniel. That's sweet. That's really sweet Michael and um, we'll keep this card forever We're gonna keep it put it in the vault We have a vault here Love here and then I got and then this other guy I was so I I took photos after and pictures because I'm a good guy after the shows and I do it for free

I don't charge like some people charge. Yeah, no other comics charge. Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, yeah, they do You're saying people pay a ticket to see them and have to pay extra for a photo if you want a photo. Yeah And that's absurd. Hell, no, so I'm guys sell colored headshots for like 30 bucks No, yeah, I feel like maybe back in the day. No, no, I don't want to name people Cornering me in the corner But I do it for free baby boom because um I'm just good that way, you know pure pure pure you said I think it's pure You could be right. I'm not gonna argue against you man. And um, I have my flaws guys. Let's be real

but Let's be real, but um So I'm waiting I'm taking photos with all these some people and um, I give hugs and stuff and I see in line There was a guy a skinny. I don't know what nationality was He was almost like he kind of looked like the face of what's that Mexican guy from Portlandia? I don't know where he is part Part Latino. Yeah, but he's got like that kind of vibe like a Spanish II But he was wearing like this old-school Chicago teacher really tight like brown corduroy bell bottoms and Afro

Bottoms and he had the smile of like a 70s smile, bro Like this Oh, yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, and did you get the 70s from that? I wouldn't try again No, just yes. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, and he gave me this little Fisher Price toy and then he could he played it for me and And the it's basically a best of Tiger belly that he made a remix tape of it Yeah, he made a mix tape a mix tape and then he had this like little cover with me and you I don't know who that is but um

So it was wonderful and I'm gonna say this right now about Utah great people nice people There's not shit to do there unless you like to fucking go into the mountains and nature stuff and then But in terms of where I was staying not a lot of great restaurants, but the people are nice and I'm gonna go back to that club I really like the owner wise guys wise guys. So thank you so much for wise guys for having me was great and I'm kind of angry at some of my listeners and stuff because um, you know I was thinking about the hundredth episode and me calling people and not picking up and You know, it just really enrages me it enrages me and I might have to do some calls today Let's try again. Let's see. Well, do you have any different numbers George?

I hope so When you was a producer is that like I don't feel it's safe. They teach you that Columbia. Yeah, I hope so Hey, do we have a budget for this? Yeah, I hope I learned how to make Artsy European films at Columbia that doesn't help me at all right now. I actually thought you meant like Columbia School there about the Ivy League if you went there you get mugged blackout from a drug and then Get peed on How did you like Utah Clio? I didn't go. Oh, she didn't go. I stayed here to watch the fights with not you because you flaked on me sick It's called getting sick. What is it?

Will you call you're calling first? No, I call put on speakerphone. Yeah, I call You don't call first. Give me the fuck. I've already done that before George Six I was a name This is Frank at the tone, please record your message when you have finished recording you may hang up or press one for more options Yo Frank Yeah, what's that? Slap King? Slap King in a house Dog it'll Frank was like King. Oh

Slap King. It's better you than Frank. He's even having volume. You hear what I'm saying? Because I ain't got the time I'm a fucking television shit like that, bro Busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy B. All right, Frank We'll be doing that throughout the show we'll be doing that throughout the show um, where you getting these numbers they submitted The episode we got over 500 numbers. Yeah, we got so we're gonna call All of them No, not eventually let's call all of them right now

Give me another number man. Give me another number I'm into it Do we have a spa like because we had a spa competition, right? Yeah, we did. Yeah, we can call them too. Yeah We'll call them a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, we'll come a little later, but um, I went to the show show. Oh, so I'll call I live went to the show show I didn't get invited. Did you apply for it? Yes. Did you try though? Like did you put actual good? Yeah, I tried the show show is a month-long Art show by our friend David show if you guys aren't familiar go check them out, but um, I I cried Everybody I hear has everybody's gone had a different experience. I never went. Yeah, Bobby didn't go. Did you get invited?

Yes, he did. I don't remember but I'm going to say this right now. I'm not signing up Right. I'm not of making an appointment for fucking no fucking art show Tell me what not something I'm above it. Just tell me where it is. Yeah, you know how the art shows goes The exhibition is open from May 1st to May 20th. You can come anytime. Oh the gout That's what art is supposed to be not this one. I know well this one I didn't go to Because I didn't have the time. This is a more controlled, you know setting and I think that it it makes perfect sense that you know people had to Basically, you know sign up and get screened. It makes sense once you go through it. You're like, well, tell us what happens

I can't why no way. I don't want to ruin it for people who are still about no one's gonna watch it There's only 20 artsy-fartsy what rain Wilson. He's not listening I got rain will say who else the guy from creed creed there. I don't know, but I'm just throwing out names now You know, I'm just naming. Yeah naming people. You're also not like you sign an NDA basically, so you're not allowed What do you name bring it on cuz I wanted to I can talk about how I felt. How did you feel about it? I don't know how you cried. I'm curious about that. Well, I'm very Everybody I talked to who went to it cried and it was like a super experience for I think you go into it already feeling Overwhelmed because you don't know what what you're about to face and a lot of that that built up

Because I have I'm I'm sort of a control freaking that way because I want to know what I'm getting myself into So a lot of the feeling I'm already tense and I'm already nervous So I think I probably cried partially because I was nervous and partially submitting to the experience Which was actually kind of nice. I was very cathartic and I appreciated it and I think you should do it Well, it's too late now, right, it's not I think he has one more week What can you set it up? I've been trying to set it up for you, but you keep not replying to them Yeah, but you have to reply for me. I don't have your phone Bobby. Yeah, I can't do any of that You gotta do the essay question for I literally don't listen anyone that knows me knows that I don't know what happened to me

But over the years, I just decided not to know anything And not to have any kind of responsibility. Yeah, learn helplessness. What is that called learn helpless? What does that mean? It's when other people do things for you You get you get trained to not have to do them yourself, right? I think that's probably what I've reinforced and it's a mistake on my part because I do so much That he doesn't think he has to ever lift a finger. Literally. I woke up today and she went swimming Mm-hmm

Did you say it out loud? Yeah, you're talking to someone. No, no one I just said it to myself out loud Hungry guess I'm not gonna eat Until she gets back and then as soon as I come through the door. Ah, Hongo Yeah, and then she like I'm a little baby like a dog waiting. Yeah, right. She goes. What do you want? I don't want juzzie Mike's Yeah, Jersey Mike. Yeah, Mike's way with but you fucked me today. There's no potato chips Oh, well, I ordered it. That's not my fault. Your postmates fucked up. I don't know. I think you deceived me, but it's fine Thanks for the sandwich There's never not a complaint

Even if you give him everything he wants there's going to be at least one or two complaints about it. Yeah Yeah, I don't know how to be satisfied. It's not a part of his DNA engineering. Yeah, I Like to complain he loves My favorite sport drives me crazy, especially when we drive. I love complaining. What is this guy doing? He's not doing anything. He's just stopping at a stoplight and he's yelling because yeah, and so he yells at things He has to yell at he he cannot just sit in place and be patient Yeah, something has to be wrong. The world is against him. It's it. Well, it is Let's be honest. Let's you know, let's when people stop at stop signs in front of you. They're

Loan you down. There's doing I have a theory. Can I throw a theory here away my friend throw it? Okay Yes, there'll be more deaths, but if just listen to me listen to my logic There'd be more deaths and accidents, but if he everyone drove the way I drove there'll be no such thing as traffic How do you drive? crazy Like I use sidewalks like he wants to kill me. So no like he wants to kill all the passengers No, I just don't I don't like I don't like for instance. Here's the here's the thing Do you know how the in LA? There's a lot of left turns, but you're blocking a whole lane

Yeah, yeah, and if it's one of those left to turns where you don't have your own little pocket to go into I just don't take a left because if I do I'm blocking that lane He doesn't like to hold up traffic and that is pretty nice of you That's here's another thing. I do and you know I do this. I run across the street even an across walk same I do too. Yeah, wait you do too. Yeah, because I hate it when people walk I don't like it when people take their motherfucking time. Yeah, so I to be courteous. I run across not because of the Traffic coming your way. It's the people trying to make a right. Yes. Oh those I try to speed it up

I speed it up for and people don't have the same courtesy toward me and it drives me crazy Well, also if they're disabled Bobby, you Find all the wheelchair faster If they have like the one those little hands a little feet, you know, I mean under developed then take your time Yeah, I'll still scream, but not as loud not as loud just quietly little things like this. It's like it's also like When you get on a plane, right? I Know it's I can tell you it takes me one second To get my fucking bag over the overhead compartment and my bag underneath the seat and I'm sitting down

I know what you're talking about. I go pop pop pop. You know why done So no one can it has to wait But then you got fucking mr. Like, you know me long form. I will like like takes his time I will oppose here Not everyone is a frequent flyer like you some people take trips like for instance like my mom She's already a nervous flyer. She doesn't know she doesn't know the drill the drill isn't ingrained in her memory So when she gets to the plane She is sort of frazzled and she you know, she needs it she takes her, you know, she needs more time than you

That's fine. I understand I understand that but One time I came on a flight and this dude put his backpack onto the aisle floor Gun on his knees and pulled out like magazines little things that he needed. Yeah, he's a dick He's a dick, right and and and meanwhile, there's we're clogged You know, and it's in he's ruining Everyone's day How do people not feel that like they're just oblivious to people are oblivious and that's what I'm fighting that in my life I have a similar fight. What I don't really have problems with people

In that sense like a in an airplane. I have problems with people who hold up a food line That's but they hold up a food line not just because they're indecisive But they have a lot of for instance if I'm ordering something But they have tenth I I truly think these are the types of people who fuck it up for people with real food allergies The LA people who pretend that they have these gluten sensitivities and who are allergic to ten different different things And who hold up the fucking line because they don't know how to read and therefore they ask the person behind a counter Can you tell me what's in this? What's in this? What's in this? And then they have 50 different requests that drives me crazy

They fuck it up for people who have real allergies because when those people with allergies order food They get their eyes rolled at because of all the other ones who pretend to have fucking allergies It drives me I want to fucking just snatch him by the back of the head. Yeah, man. I feel right at times. I feel rage I have another one now. This is you brought that one up. I hate it when there's a group of five Four or five two or three. It doesn't matter. It's more than one person and they're in a line and they pay separately Oh, I see you're saying cool. Pull your money together Order all at once because you're a group and get the fuck out of my life

Because they all talk to no no what happens is like, you know, I'll see a couple on a date and the guy order him pay his and Then like the girls like ordering herself and paying her own thing bitch pay for her even if he's she's just You know a friend at work. Do you think you think so? Yeah, I don't think that man I was like that. I was like that when I had no money. That's why I never went out Yeah, but I go out with male friends and sometimes I get the bill sometimes they do it and sometimes we split the bill But you do I know but still in a line at like McDonald's. I'm not saying like at a restaurant I'm just saying at like McDonald's, right? That's like five bucks pay for the other person. Yeah

If you have it just stop being difficult stop being you know, just think about it. I'm in line in back of you My rage think about his convenience Yeah, guys, we're gonna take a moment to talk about our sponsor. Oh, well, let me guess who it is because I don't like a Lot of sponsors. I only like the legit ones the top of the top of the line, right? So I'm just assuming it's got to be blue apron, right? Of course Yeah, yeah finally see the song it's a favorite kinda food in the world Yum-yum-yum Talk about it. Oh my god

You know what they do is they mix it up man They mix up it's a different genres, they do confusion fusion foods when the genre is not the right I don't think genre is the right question. Well, to me, they're genres. It's like a Western movie. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, I'm eating a Western movie. You got your shrimp genre.

Right, right. I got like, you know, some sort of saving private Ryan shit going on. Sometimes some Bollywood genre. Yeah, yeah. No, I really do like it. They have like a pork chop and they have some sort of like miso sauce

and it's all simple, clean. Every meal I've ever gotten from them has been delicious and filling and I can't imagine my life without it. I, every meal that I've cooked looks delicious. Sometimes I don't always get to taste it because even though it's made for two, he always eats both servings.

Yeah. Yeah. Blue Apron. But it's very good. The servings are enough for one person. Absolutely. It's more than enough. So we can't say that.

Okay. But it's great. You guys have to check it out. If you haven't not, I don't really do believe. I've said it since we've had the fucking sponsor. Blue Apron's a shit. It's a shit. So check out this week's menu

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Here's another thing I hate at comedy clubs when the comic goes too long. You get 15 minutes. I'm sorry. I have to get this off my chest. I don't want to throw anyone underneath the bus. She's a nice lady. I like her.

But Eliza slashing her goes way too long. How long does she go? She'll go 20 minutes. That's just five over. Yeah, but when you have fucking 12 comics after you, if everyone did five over. It's extra two hours. Then the guy that's at midnight is like gonna be the hour.

Oh, man. You know? I always go a minute under to save the show. It's just courtesy, you know? You guys have anything like that? Or you guys are just carefree hippies walking around. Nothing bothers me. You're just probably more carefree than me.

I don't like difficult people. And it's so funny that I'm dating one. Too difficult. No. It's so difficult. I can't hear it. How am I difficult? What am I difficult about?

You're easy in a lot of ways where like you're very low maintenance in terms of your hygiene and like other things where it's like, there are a lot of things you're low maintenance about. Yeah, yeah. But you're very particular about a lot of things too. Like what? I mean, little things like don't touch me more, you know,

unless you're going to touch me three times, don't touch me at all. What does that mean? Oh, wait, don't touch me. Wait, don't touch me three times. It's an OCD thing. So if I accidentally graze his body. So I do it once.

OK, so we're sleeping on a bed. Right, right. And so if I accidentally hit him like this, why'd you do that? And then he's going to take my hand and he's going to do it two more times. Oh. Another thing is. Oh, you're crazy.

Is that what that O is? So you're saying you don't touch me at all? Don't touch me at all or do three times. No, she does. I'm just saying she does this though too, right? She knows I have OCD. Then she'll take her foot, go on top, like when we're watching a movie.

That long foot? Her long foot and she'll go like this. Pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup. Oh, you're used to doing that, right? That's how he does it. Now in my head, I'm like, 9, 12, 15. I mean, I have to count how many times. And then I actually have to do it that many times.

It's insanity. Or when we, when he, when he's asleep. Yeah. OK, this doesn't go about, this is how, this is our sleeping arrangement. I always go to bed first because I wake up at a reasonable hour. When I go to bed.

Oh, wait, hang on. Let's flip it. When he goes to bed. I got one about you, bitch. Oh, you got one about you, bitch. Go ahead. When he goes to bed, the lights have to be off. Like there cannot be any, everything

has to be in total silence. And I'm very respectful, respectful of people's sleep. So I walk around just like a ghost. You cannot hear me. It's full silence because I want him to get all the sleep. When I go to sleep first, he will take the loudest bag of plastic and start crunching it. Well, you actually physically grab it.

No. And I want chips. I'm trying to open the chips. I can't open them. He finds everything, every single noisemaker in the house and he will. She thinks I purposely do it. I don't.

And he'll put all the lights on and then he'll do this. Where are my keys? Because he's, he's learned to helpless. Yeah, I don't know whatever my keys are. Yeah. So he has to wake up the whole house. I have to wake up the whole house. And then I get grumpy because I can't go back to sleep now.

That's funny. It's fucked. Here's another thing she does. One time, I saw her. Kind of just say what she does. What? She was in the, going to the bathroom and she, she takes water on her fingers and splashes her feet with water.

I have OCD too. But what is? It's a ritual. Before what? Bed? Yes. Before bed, I have my feet. OK, God, now you make it sound crocodile.

Look at George's face. Guys, this is normal. Just listen up. Open mind. Have an open mind. Have an open mind. So I have to do this or I cannot sleep well. I take my table, you know, my cup of water,

and I wash like this, right? That the butthole, which is, which is really cool. I think that's cool. Like it's hip? No, I don't just saying that she's, she wants to wash her butthole out. And that's respectful. I respect that.

And then I take, I leave a little bit of water, water in the table. Yeah. And I do this, I dip my fingers in it. And I sprinkle water onto my toes. If I don't do that, I cannot sleep. Either I'm going to wake up to a nuclear war or something bad is going to happen.

No, imagine me, right? Never, not even knowing about it for years. And now she leaves the door open a little bit. I'm on the bed. I'm watching what she's doing. And then she's sprinkling this water feet and I'm literally going, is she at mermaid? The whole time she's a fucking mermaid.

She needs to keep her feet wet. Or she dries up. She dries up as does. I do. I have to feel a little bit of cold wetness on my feet before I jump into bed or I will go crazy. When did the start? When I was a child.

I've been doing it since I was like probably four years old, five. Wow. Do you remember like when you started or why? It's a comfort thing. I don't feel clean unless my feet have been drizzled. Ew, that's weird. Verb, drizzled.

So is mine as weird as hers? Or do you think that's pretty weird? I do it in the privacy of mine. I know, but it's still a little weird, right? Hers is weirder. Yours is ruder. Yes, thank you. Can I just say this to find myself a little bit?

There were no chips in the jersey. I don't purposely open plastic up to wake her up. It just so happens to be that there was at one time. Not one time. There's this one time where there was a bag of chips that I could not open for the life of me. You could not open the bag. For the life of me.

In bed. In the bed, for the life of me, right? So I'm trying it this way. You know how you do it this way? And then I'm looking for the little thing, that little. The knob. Like, rip here. Yeah, there was none.

So you're trying to do the. Then I use my teeth, right? Because my teeth are going to fall out. So I can't. Too hard, too hard, yeah. I woke up and I was like, God, fuck, give me the bag of chips. Did you open it? Yes, I opened it.

Or else he was going to go on like that for six hours. Six hours, yeah, yeah. I do a lot of, I do things, I do things. I can't even believe she sits, sleeps though. Like, if you heard me at night, you would hear this. Right, me scratching my left foot. While you're asleep. All night long.

He does this one thing. Oh my God, it drives me crazy. Yeah, what is it? He doesn't, I've recorded this. Yeah. So I'm going to actually post it on fucking Instagram after this. He, I don't know, it's because if it's, you're a smoker or what

not, but he does this sucking sound during his legal. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. The dick sucking man. He sucks dick in his sleep so loudly. I mean, he puts it, by the way, in my dreams. Oh yeah, he puts it 24 seven. All day, every day in my dreams, bruh. I wonder why you do that though.

Oh, because I'm dying. You think you're dying during that? I might be dying. I stop. It's move on then. Why? I don't want to talk about that stuff. About that I'm dying?

Yeah, no one's dying. Well, someone's dying. I opened up a person cookie, there was no fortune. I mean, that's, you know, you have another number? Oh, I want to play a voicemail. What is it? Oh, from Pastor God. All right, so when we did the 101, I guess, whatever.

Whatever it is. I left a pasture of voicemail. A pasture? A pasture. A pasture. A pastor, and he left a voicemail. Is it good? Let's see if this is loud enough.

Let me play. I hope it's worth it. Hi, my name is Gil Flores. I am a pastor from Albuquerque, New Mexico, and I'm responding to a voicemail I received from Bobby Lee. Bobby, if you get this message, I just want to tell you your voicemail had me in stitches. It was the funniest thing I've ever heard.

And I'm sorry I didn't pick up. It's not because I didn't want to. I am up in the mountains speaking at a camp, and I came down into town just to buy a few things, and I checked all my voicemail messages, and heard yours. So I'll be in town for the next hour or so. I'm never calling you again. You catch me?

Never. I would love to be in your 100th episode. I'm a huge fan of you. I'm a huge fan of you, and you're super funny, and you're talented, and I love love Tiger Belly. Oh, Pastor Gil. So thank you. Thank you so much for what you do.

Too bad you love Jesus. I'd suck your dick right now, man. So just where you got it. Thank you, Pastor. You see, Christians love us. What a sweetie. Why can't everybody be that type of Christian? Yeah.

Yeah, there are just Christians out there that are like cool. And Mormons that are cool. Dude, there were some Mormons at my show on Weetah that were really fucking cool. Yeah, dude. Yeah. No, I've got Mormons.

What? Mormons are chill. I don't like Mormons. They said half the audience was Mormons. Whoa. Yeah, and the old ladies, too. They loved it. They were laughing like crazy.

I pulled out a sack. They fucking loved it. I really did. I went crazy. I don't hold back. I don't care where I am. If I'm in Utah, I just thought to myself, you know what? I'm just going to do the show that I do.

And if they don't like it, I'll never come back. But they liked it. The show was fun. And you know what? A lot of times when you have people that are like conservative in that way, they just really laugh. They just want to release or something, you know?

And they know that. I think so. And I think that laughter is the most universal thing that people can bond about, even if it's about a naked guy on the naked Asian guy on stage. It's funny. Yeah. And I don't think that religion really

has anything to do with that. But I wanted you to talk about your brother at the spa. Yeah, I didn't talk about that yet. No, we haven't talked about that yet. No, we haven't. Hey, you told that story on Kassim's show, but that's the only time it's been heard. Oh, really?

Oh, is Tiger Bear exclusive? So I take my brother. So I go to this Korean spa one night. My brother goes, we're in the car. We're pulling into the spa. And my brother has his camera. And he goes, I'm going to vlog this. Vlog?

I'm going to vlog. I go, what? I'm bringing the camera in. I go, well, dude, it's going to be weird. I don't care. It's going to be great. So we go in, and there's this naked Korean men laying down, and he's filming their dicks.

Oh, my god. No, he's not. Yeah, he is. He's panning around the fucking place. He's got everything. He's got everything. He sees my dicks. Oh, yeah, I pull mine out purposely, right?

And I filmed him getting undressed. We were laughing. But then he brings it into the spa area where the steam room and all that stuff is. And I'm in there taking a shower, and he's filming inside there. And this middle-aged Korean man walks in completely naked. And my brother turns his camera toward him

and just tapes him naked. What do the guy do? The guy goes to my brother and goes, hi, excuse me. I know that you're taping me. I don't care what you're doing. But the last three seconds of that, can you delete it? And my brother looks at him and goes, nah, I don't have to do any of that shit.

And now I'm naked, right? On the other side, going, Steve! Steve! So you're freaking out. Yeah, my brother's like, his temper. He's going to go toe-to-toe with this guy. And then I had to go grab the camera. And my brother's like, you're ruining it, it's a good vlog.

We got good stuff. And we're racing the whole thing. And I had to erase this vlog in front of this guy, right? But imagine if I wasn't there, he could have died. Was the guy pissed? He was livid. And he wasn't livid at first. He was livid at my brother's attitude.

So he was understanding at first. Yeah, at first he said, can you please delete the neck the last three minutes? Yeah. But my brother's like, nah. Like, he gets really confrontational and urban. Like thug. Thug-ish?

Yeah. He goes, nah, I didn't hear that. Like, right in his face. This is what he texted me. Did Bob tell you about the spa incident? I said, yeah. He goes, it was a close call. The Korean dude was so mad.

I filmed his penis by accident, is what he said. And then I put the sweating emoji. And he goes, Kaleila, it was a golden vlog. Yeah, it was a great vlog. I love, like, every time he tells it, he's like, yeah, I did it just for George. And I'm like, no, no, I didn't tell you to film naked dudes. I don't blame me on this, like, this level.

Stop doing that. Stop doing that. Stop encouraging Steve to hate men. Well, my brother doesn't have that kind of like sensibility like, and that's why I'm afraid that he's going to get himself in a situation where, because of his temper, he's going to get hurt. Do you ever see that in him or no?

I haven't seen it. That's why I hear about it. But yeah, I personally. Has that caused some trouble in the past when you were younger? Oh, yeah. I mean, he got fired from every job he's ever had because of it. Oh, it sounds even. A Tempe improv.

I got him a job at Tempe improv. And he assaulted a waiter. Damn. I mean, he got into a fist fight with him. Not assaulted, like. No, he, like, pushed a waiter. You know what I mean? And the waiter goes, what the fuck, dude?

I just told you to run these potato skins. I love that. You know? And my brother's like, don't talk to me like that. I would just say, oh, can you? Then I get him a job at Sushi Dan on Sunset. Oh, Sushi Dan. Yeah.

So I talk to Dan, Dan. My brother is like, I don't know. I have over stuff. That's what he says to me. You know, we really busy. I mean, we could, I guess, get that need the help. My brother's a hard work. I'm lying.

Yeah. He's great. He's horrible. Three days later, Bob, I got fired. Why? Why, Steve? I told the sushi stuff to go fuck himself. He told me to bring water to that table.

And then he got fired at Amoeba. Record store. Oh, and he didn't know why. Do you know why? Oh, I know. I know exactly why. He was in the break room where people are. Women are sitting there.

And my brother's telling another guy, yeah, I had a band over and a pussy was all over my dick. You know what I mean? I'm penetrating her. You know what I mean? And all these girls are going, calm down. Don't talk about it. Now, fuck it.

And I was fisting. He's like, it's sexual harassment. You can't talk like that. This was the old Steve. He would never act like this. Now? No, I don't believe it. I think that he might pop off because he

has rage tendencies. But I don't think that he would. He's got a lot more sense about him now. How do you know? Because I see him all the time. I see him in situations where he is getting better. Yeah. He is getting, you're right.

He is getting better. There's a little growth there. But I'm still frightened sometimes because it's like. When he does, when it clicks, though, it clicks very quickly. You have no idea. It's really scary. You haven't seen it yet.

You haven't. But it's the real K-Rage. And when you see it, it's going to shock you. Because you can't talk him out of it. He like sees red for like five minutes. And you can't turn it off. Is that from your dad? Yeah.

My dad was a rageaholic. He was a rageful man. You are not. You get, I rate easily and annoyed, but you don't have that real volcanic eruption. Because I have, I have, I don't know. I think I do have it. I just have this ability because I know what my dad is like.

Where it's like, I just kind of go, just, you know, I just was able to deal with it better, you know? Like if I feel like coming up, I just have other tools that I use in my mind to relieve it or whatever, but my brother doesn't have it. Also, my brother, I don't, I've never trusted my own physical strength and my fighting abilities. But my brother has.

Like my brother knows that he can wrestle. My brother can take people down. Like he could take you down if you wanted to. Yeah, he's very strong. He's very strong and he's fast. But I've never had confidence in my own physical abilities. So I already know, I have to resort to other ways to survive. I went down an alleyway on Sunset once

because my manager, Abby, was at a bar in some weird bar. And I walked through this alleyway and this big black guy came up to me. And I realized he had no pants on. He had his dick out. And he goes, tell me when to suck it, right? And instead of getting in his face, right? How do you get in these scenarios?

How do you always cotton these? It's instead of like getting in his face, like my brother would be like, what? What mother fuck? I ran. Like it didn't even, once he said it, I was gone. Like I could just get out. Which is basically the correct thing to do.

It's very Theon Greyjoy. I jump over the ship. I jump over the ship when I see danger, I'm out. That's taking the path of least resistance. Why wouldn't you? If I were in that same situation, I would remove myself from it. I wouldn't confront the person.

That's what they teach you. Yeah, that's what they teach you, I think. Yeah, but if like the Titanic, I was on the Titanic, I feel like I'd be alive, but I'd be floating on like 50 passengers' backs, dead passengers. I would like to survive. So you're on a board floating, and you see like Leo, basically, and he's like, hey, let me get on the board with you.

No, I would make him a part of my board. Yeah. On top of Leo. To survive, you know. You basically make a human life raft. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And sit and float on their backs. But so you don't know then if you are being cowardly

or if you are being a survival. Like if you're being a survivor. I think it's survival. I'm a survivalist. I'm not a survivalist. You're a survivor. No, I know. I'm a survivalist.

Survivalists are those people that live on naked. I know, and I can do it. You can do that as well. Listen, you doubt me. You know what? You know what, baby? I doubt you. Let's do a challenge.

You know what? For those of you who doubt me, I'll drink fucking hyena pee. No, it's not that. I don't. I'll make lemonade out of that shit. I don't doubt your abilities and your, I think your game for it. I doubt your blood sugar.

I doubt that you'd actually be physically able to withstand going 10 hours without a meal. Because the way you treat me when you're hungry is. I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this right now. I will do a survival game show with you three. We'll see. And I will come up on top.

OK, so give us a scenario. Where are we on a beach? What do we have to hunt for? No, let's go. Let's go legit. Let's go to the Congo. Oh, fuck. The Congo.

OK, I can deal with that. Yeah, I'll be a part of a monkey tribe in like two weeks. If there is water nearby, I'll win. If it's by an ocean, I'll win for sure. No, no, no, that's your thing. That's your thing. That's my thing. That's my strength.

Yeah, so no, we're going to go inland. OK, I can free dive for octopus. I can do everything. Yeah. The one thing I cannot do is like super arid, or like really, really dry conditions. That scares me. Dry stuff scares me.

Really? Oh, yeah. You're the kind of guy, George, and I know this for a fact, that you know that movie, Alive? Yeah, I love that movie. Like, he'd be the guy eating everyone? But like, as soon as we crashed? Not reluctantly.

Like, really? No, well, he doesn't even need to kill us yet. Like, he doesn't need to eat. Yeah, he would just start eating us. Yeah. Well, it's just logical. You're just saying. I'm very logical.

He's staying ahead. Ew, Bobby. Jesus Christ. You would drink your own pee, right? Oh, no. Yeah, but it would be unnecessary. That's not what Bear Gryll said. Yeah, but you can only drink your pee for so long.

Like, there's like a limit to how much of your own pee you can actually drink. But is there a hydrating qualities to it? No, how do we? Tell me how you would make a well. How, bitch? A hole? That actually is one.

That is step one. That is step one, right? Yeah, but you would try to make it sort of cool. Here's what I would do. There's a river. OK, there's a river. There's a river. What I'll do is I'll go next to the river.

That's what I would do. I would dig a hole. OK, smile. And have the river filter. It's filter into my hole. And that uses as a thing, filter for a thing. And I'll drink that fucking water. And if not, you know what I'll do?

I'll make a little bamboo cups, right? And when it rains, I'll capture all the rain in these bamboo cups that have developed. What do you do with your body if it's getting bit up by insects and mosquitoes? That can't help. I don't know what to do. But you know what?

They'll die because of the things I have inside my body. That's why the mosquitoes start dying. I'm spreading my own disease toward them. I think you're supposed to burn like a termite mound or like cover your body in mud. Oh, the smoke. Yeah. And smoke is a good way.

I don't know how to do a fire. That's the most difficult. But you can, in these situations, And no one would know that if you were covered in mud or not. Just, I think that's a skin color. He's just really dark brown. No kidding, that was mean. I'm sorry.

That's true that I'm dark. He has very white teeth, though. You have another fucking phone? Give me another phone, man. Just call a random one. Do you have the name? Who is this? Went to a different number than the one I was trying to call.

So I don't know who this is. No idea now. I was trying to call the spot order. You got to find the number first. Let's see if they pick up those. No, you can't answer here. No one picks up like unknown numbers anymore, huh? What error code is this?

What is it? What, 202? 202. Here. Pick up. Next time I can let it ring and tell whether there's an answer or no answer. That's the spot winner.

No, it's not. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Hey, congratulations. You won the spot ticket. No, that's not his. It's not him? No. George, the spot winner is a 323 number.

It's Bobby Lee. It's Bobby Lee. No, that's what it said at the end. Hey, you didn't win anything. You didn't win nothing. Bobby Lee. Tiger Belly, what's up? Fucking cocksucker, you fucking fuck it up.

That's going to be the best, the best one. I think the Google voice sent it to the other number. So it looked like the other number. Oh, you're not good at it. You're not a producer. So I'm a producer if you listen to me. I was trying to interrupt, but I didn't want to interrupt your genius, sir.

So I never. That's hilarious. They may or may not have won. They may or may not have won. Sorry about that voicemail. That was unclear. I did the sound and everything. That was great.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Congratulations. You won the spot. No, you didn't. Fuck you. I'm so confused. Bobby Lee called me. Give me a real legit number, man.

Kind of. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Is this another spa winner? Let's not all make him spa winners. Oh, man. What's on your list? What? My list.

Oh, I was wondering with, oh. Oh, someone calling me. Uh-oh. Who's that? All right, here's the spa winner. Oh, who is it? I was calling back. Are we ready?

Spa winner's calling back. It's on my phone. It's coming to her. What? It's coming to both of us. Oh, my god, George. We just called Kalyla? Spa winner.

Hi, I'm Julissa. It's Bobby Lee. I just heard the message. Yeah, it's Bobby Lee. But I need the person that's going to win the spa. Well, yeah, but it's got to be a man. They don't allow women in the spa. Oh, can I send my boyfriend?

What's your boyfriend's name? Steve. Steve. Is he a fan of the show? Is he a fan of the show or is it some random? Well, we actually went together to go see you at the comedy store. Yay.

Hey. Did I do good or what? Yeah, you were a friend. We were in front row. You touched his face. He was like, what do you think? No, I love touching people. Well, maybe I'll go to what your boyfriend's name is Steve.

Is he there with you? No, he's not. He's at work right now. All right. Well, I want you to give him this message then, OK? But everything I say right now, you have to memorize. Oh, my god. This is just hear me out or I just

listen to what I have to say. All right, ready? Ready? Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Steve, you're the wonderful winner of the fantastic spa's experience. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. I'm leaving.

Bye. I hung up on her. Oh, Bobby. I didn't know what else to say. She freaked me out. She was giggly. No, we'll email her. We'll email her.

We'll make that happen. Anybody who calls the Google voice comes to your phone as well. Oh, OK, got it, George. Yeah. Oh, and my god. You're a real producer, George. You're a real producer and also my girlfriend.

Oh, also, I want to plug that my show, What Will Diplo Do, comes out this week on Weisland. It's me, Vanderbeek, and some dealing with Francis, a bunch of other people. You guys have to watch it. If you have Weisland, just support me and Tiger Belly just by watching it. I just said this week, man.

Do you know the exact day? August 3rd. August 3rd, everyone. Tune in on Weisland. And then my girlfriend and I saw a show, my friend's show yesterday, right? We want to talk about that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What? If Gobi can just chill the fuck out for two seconds. So my friend, Brian Gatewood and Tanaka, Alessandro Tanaka and Brian Gatewood wrote a show for Amazon. And it's called Comrade Detective. And I think it's going to be good. Well, we saw the first episode.

Yeah, it's basically a Polish. No, it's Romanian. Romanian, a Romanian spy thriller, but set in the 80s. And it's basically government propaganda. Yeah, so it's dubbed over. So you know how in the US, all the movies in the 80s, like Rocky or Rambo or Red Dawn, they were basically our propaganda films against Russia.

Yeah, it's propaganda against Russia. And the fears of the Red. So this is the opposite of that. So this is Russian propaganda against the United States in the 80s, set in Romania. But it's all the whole thing is dubbed over by Channing Tatum and Joseph Gordon-Levin. Yeah.

So in English. And I do a couple of voices in the later episodes, yeah. And it's pretty fucking genius. It's genius. Yeah, and it's going to have, I think, it's going to get a cult following. Yeah, yeah, it would be cool. It's so original, you know?

You know how when you go to a new state, like you were just in Utah, you never really feel like you're in a different place until you see their local commercials. So when we went to go to Arizona two weeks ago, there was a commercial on the television. I actually thought it was like SNL or some sketch shit that was supposed to be funny.

But there was a commercial for a website called FarmersOnly.com. And it's a dating site specifically if you're looking for a farmer or a cowboy, or it's just that. Yeah. And the whole commercial is like, are you looking for somebody who's, and it sounds fucking absurd. But it's like, what have we come to?

Well, I mean, people have specific desires. Some people like people who farm. OK, so if you had a site that, if you were to create a site. No confidence at all. If you had to create a site. Come on, guys. All right, I like people that farm. I get it.

East meets east or whatever. But if you had a site that was going to cater to what you want, like what you look for in a person, what would it be called? Oh, shit. Like what's the log line of the? Yeah, this one is FarmersOnly.com. We're only dating farmers. Mine would be half.

Anything with a pussy.com. No, half Egyptian, half Filipino. That's great. Your search is three people. People that can swim good. Oh, it's going to. FarmersOnly.com and women that I love so much. Dot com.

That also far. That also far sometimes. What would be, George, would you? I'd go rich, poor, because I like people who can like live rich and poor. Like I like that mix of like being able to like be outdoorsy, hang out outside. But also like you can live the good life too. So you would call it rich, poor.com. Yeah.

Or whatever site you're on, I would recommend women, women, that they see George's Provelle to swipe right. Because he's not going to be able to close the deal anyway. You're going to get a free meal out of it at least. He's a very nice guy. And then you get a stove analogy. Yeah, you'll get a free meal and maybe some eggs. And eggs.

You might try to make out with you. Do you always pay for the meal on your first date, George? It's a mix. I feel it out. Really? Yeah. I pay every fucking time. First time every time.

If you really like her and it was a hit. No, it's completely a mix. I mean, I don't care either way. Even if it was a gargoyle, I would just pay once. Every time once, that's it. And then because I don't, it's a nice thing to do. It is a nice thing to do. There was one girl that insisted on paying on the first date.

And then like. Well, if she did that, then I'd be like, oh, she's a future woman. And then like she was kind of crazy. They're like, I didn't text her for two days. Yeah. And then she was like, hey, why haven't you texted me? Oh, that's fucking the. So she reversed it on you.

She pulled the George. She got real mad. And got weird. OK, well, you're welcome for the free beer, for the free date. Oh my god. And I was like. No, that's gross. I was kind of reading crazy, crazy signs when we went out.

That's why. Whoa. I was ready to pay. But if I'd insisted on paying, it would have been like a. Yeah, I'm not. I really don't like you. I didn't want to say it to her face. I would say it to her face.

Hey, wow. My goodness. I I'm kind of sometimes I in the beginning, I would probably be OK with paying the girl I took on a day before I did on you and you went to on a lot of dates a couple. You're my first and only. How sad. I should have burned more rubber.

I should have really maximized my tender experience. I should have like gone out when I break up for a year. I could go get your soil your roads and come back in a year. No, because I'm over it. So your roots dot com. So you know, it's over. So you're out. I already have like fucking horizontal neck lines.

It's over for me and dating horizontal neck lines. I'm going to say this right now. If you were if I were to die or you want to leave, you would be in a relationship within a month with George with me. You think so? Oh, yeah. How dare you say that? That hurts my feelings. No, I'm just saying that's how pretty you are.

Oh, I thought you meant like I'm a fucking heartless bitch after a month after you died. If you died, Bobby, oh, no, if I died and I'm in heaven and a month in, you're like hanging out with some other dude. Don't talk to me when you're in heaven, because I'm going to be like a fucking asshole. That'll really hurt me after way to year. Right.

Do you think after death you have to wait a year? No, there's no fucking timeline for when you can go back to being I would fuck. Like if you died three months, I can see myself going like if Ari Schiffier goes, let's go to Thailand and just fuck prostitutes. I'd be like, am I as well? That's sad. It's green fuck.

That's green fucking. Yeah. If I'm in heaven looking down, I'd be like, dude, like have at it. Live your life. I wouldn't want you to hold back your happiness because you think that that's what that's respectful. Yeah. But you would do shit like while he's fucking the girl in

Thailand, you would appear as a ghost as the face of the girl. Just look at him. It would be like that one Michelle Pfeiffer movie. What's that? Would you would you be more shocked if you died and I was dating either, I was fucking either George or Gilbert? Shocking. It would shock me if you actually touched George in that way because

you're not into the way. So you're trying to say that mean Bobby will obviously do the fucking job. I mean, it would be it not as shocking. It wouldn't be a shock. You'd be like, yeah, I get it. If I fuck, if I was seeing him every time you say it, you know, I'm like, you're pretty much to me like a piece of wood.

Like you're like, when I look at you, I look at like a light fixture or like that's a, you know, concrete, like nothing. There's nothing sexual about it. It's an Ottoman. There's nothing sexual about you. Like I would never fuck you even if it was like us two on a stranded island and we live forever on this island. I probably would see you walk twice.

Just hang out. What's up, George? And then I'll just be on my side of the island. I would never sneak it. You give me time. I can sneak in. You know, if you rate me, then, you know, we got that's another fucking game. That's a whole other thing.

You have any questions? Give me the question on helpful advice. Well, Bobby and Kalilah. Chop live for George. This is from Trey as a man who isn't most well endowed. Some sexual positions are hard to do. So I've come to appreciate the power of foreplay. Do you feel some girls would never be fully satisfied and always crave something of the

larger pinker persuasion? Thank you for your time. Small dick. He's got a handsome face, though. Let me see his face. I mean, it's small, but this is his avatar. He's like, he's a good looking guy. You didn't see Game of Thrones.

What's his name? Wait, help this guy first. Oh, yeah, he is. Oh, yeah. What's his name? Grey Worm. Grey Worm, yeah. He has no dick.

He eats pussy. And that girl was hot. And Melisandre. Oh, not Melisandre. Miss Sunday enjoyed it. She loved it. A lot. I think that there's this, I don't know.

I have some friends who really do love gigantic penises, but most of my friends don't care. If I really like the person, I don't really care what the hell they're packing down there. Unless it was a micro penis and I'd probably be a little bit concerned and sad about it. A micro penis, but the man showed you so much love and affection. Yeah, dude, because honestly, you could fuck me with a dildo. I don't fucking care what you do. Like, if you're a good person and you, if I orgasm, that's fine. I don't care how you get me there, just get me there, basically.

Yeah, we had sex and then she was like, I just fingered her and then she came real quick. That sounds so romantic, guys. The romance part about this, this is a learned helplessness. I just figured her as she came real quick. This is another part of learned helplessness, is that because he knotted first, he didn't feel they need to do anything else, except you know, do that. All right, all right, anyway. Yeah, gosh.

You guys at least do the power of foreplay, because I know you guys joke around before. No, we don't even kiss anymore. Yeah, lately it's been weird. It's just straight fucking. Why are you smiling? Straight fucking. Right? Yeah.

What's wrong with that? Your foreplay, that was like fighting, though. That's like your foreplay. There's no more foreplay. Okay, it's basically like, who are you today? Who am I today? Okay, let's go. Figure, figure, figure, UK.

Good night. Yeah. Anyway, guys. Babe, do we still like each other? I love you so much. No, I mean like sexually. Yeah, I love you so much. Let's have a real love.

Yeah, I love you sexually. Can I read one more? Yeah, yeah. It's from a guy from The Cambridge One Year Show that might help for people at your show. Hi, Tiger Bell. I saw Bobby and Tempy a couple weeks ago with my brother. Love the show. After the show, we saw Bobby taking photos with people and even saw Kalala hanging around.

We shouted out our old secret phrase, George has a pink dick and that immediately got Kalala's attention. We waved us past the security guards and we said hello to chat the 100th episode and took a picture with Bobby and Kalala. My brother and I were both quite starstruck by the whole ordeal. Hey, someone was starstruck by you. And along with other people around looking for the time with Bobby, we bolted out there after we took our photos. We both think it was rude and short to just leave like that,

especially after we had such a nice time chatting with Kaloko and hoping to chat with Bobby, too. What is the proper after show etiquette? So we don't feel like weirdos just hanging around after the show, but still get a bit more time with you two lovely folks. Well, I mean, here's the thing. Sometimes this happens if I mean, I don't want. This is Max's. The secret is this is sometimes you can play it where you hang out at by the bar or whatever.

And then you just kind of go you hear it because I always eat after my show at the bar. And there have been times where fans have gone out with us. I always pluck them out, too. Yeah. So there is a way. There is a way. I don't know how you just have to play it where you can eat with me after the show. Yeah.

I've done it a couple of times. Like remember in Seattle, we did that. We did it like three nights in a row. We brought we took people. Well, yeah, we take normal people out. I mean, our fans out and we go eat dinner. It's fun. I always pay for it.

And it's nice. Yeah. Yeah. So you don't want people to just to linger, though. It's just. Yeah, if you're not if it almost has to happen organically. So I wouldn't even recommend trying. Just let it happen.

Let's just let it happen. You know, somehow you strike a conversation with me. At some point, I'm either going to be like, Hey, this is somebody that we want to have dinner with. Then I'll be like, Hey, have dinner with us. Yeah. Yeah. It's almost. Yeah.

That's how it works. Usually if I don't ask you to dinner, it's probably has nothing to do with you. It's probably because I'm really tired and yeah. And we go back. It's nothing personal, but we I enjoy when people go to talk about honestly, Tiger Billy fans are my favorite are the best. And when Clial is there, especially when they go, I always go Clial is here too. And they always go, Oh my gosh, she is get her out.

And I feel good. I'm always in the green room hiding. So if you knock, I'll come out. But it's not how you fight. Clial, you have to knock at the green room. Yeah, I resist sometimes. And he shows for Bobby come on. Bobby will be in New Mexico, August 25th at the Star Casino only for one night.

And Naples, Florida is canceled. Yeah. So sorry, Florida. I think we'll have to reschedule. We'll reschedule that. And then yeah. George, do you have any announcements? One guys, please, can you go to fill out a quick survey for us, survey.lipson.com slash

Tiger Belly. We just need a couple hundred more people. And it's literally a 10 second survey. It's got five questions, one page, just click it. And you're done. And it really helps us out a lot. So that's survey.lipsonlibsyn.com slash Tiger Belly. And a quick mnemonic.

If you're listening to this in your car or somewhere not near a computer, once you get to work and you survey the keys of your computer to turn it on, remember to survey.lipson.com slash Tiger Belly and fill it out for us. That was so confusing. I had no idea what that was. Number one, you said mnemonic. Mnemonic. Lost you there.

And it lost us there, even though I know what it means. I don't because I'm stupid. Yeah, it's like you speak in code. Trying to help them remember because a lot of people listen in their car. They aren't going to remember. It's like even if they're good people that like want to help us out. What about surveying my keys makes it easier for me to understand exactly what I have to do. When you see it, you're like, oh, the Tiger Belly survey.

You're a real producer, Joe. Give me a better mnemonic. Makes you follow us on Instagram at Tiger Belly on Twitter at the Tiger Belly and emails any unhelpful advisor questions to thetigerbellyatgmail.com. Also, you can send us any packages to our P.O. box, which is? 1626 North Wilcox, number 161, Hollywood, California, 90028. Cool. Guys, that's the end of our show. But really quick.

Oh, go ahead. No, go ahead. Go ahead. Just do MMA minute, but get everything out before we do MMA minute. No, I want to say this last. Yeah. Okay, guys. So if you don't like MMA by guys, thank you for listening.

So let's get to MMA minute with Kalilah and Bobby and Bobby today. Oh, you didn't watch it. Oh, well, Kalilah, your thoughts on. Why didn't you watch it? You ruined it. I was on the show doing shows. Oh, and I texted him right. Oh, you don't like watching the fights after, you know.

Kalilah, UFC 214 Anaheim. I have kind of something else to say about that. I saw the Tyrone Woodley fight. Uh-oh. It's like, bro, we get that you have a strategy. We get that you're trying to win, but it's also an entertainment thing. Yeah. And you're fighting like Mayweather, which could also be a strategy.

Okay. Yeah. Can you take the dog out for a pee? She's barking. So let's just start the main card and hit some of the smaller ones. So let's just get to the return of John Jones and your boy Daniel DC Cormier. It was going so well. What did you have rounds leading up to the third round?

Like some people had like John had the first Cormier the second. I probably agree with that, although, you know, it was very. For me, I had like Cormier first round, close first round, Cormier second round, and then Cormier was winning the third round. Winning the third. So I was like, holy shit. I mean, he was moving forward. He was definitely the aggressor.

But I think that John got it. Significant strikes. John had more because he was landing all those kicks. Yeah. Uh, but Cormier landed, I feel like the significant power shots and the idea of him pressing forward, especially in this day of MMA, whoever's controlling the center and pushing forward. Right. So I think it was like 48 per no, I think it was mostly Cormier.

Yeah. I had Cormier. Yeah. Until that had kick. Yeah. It was devastating. I really, I really wanted a five round brawl. And I know though, props to John Jones, props to his comeback, all of that.

You know, it's, it's a good story, but I really, really wanted this for DC. And, but I really, really think that if you put those two together again, that I would absolutely buy the fight. Yeah. Like, I think that's still something. He's still the best light heavyweight after John Jones hands down. Right. And I think that he legitimately has given John Jones trouble in the past.

And I think that he looked spectacular besides the fact that he got caught. And that's just the name of the game. It could have, it could have, I feel like it could have gone either way. Someone was bound to get caught and it happened in the third round and it wasn't in DC's favor. But dude, so much respect to that guy. I love DC. And, and I, I felt really badly that he got KO'd in that way and immediately had to like speak on a mic and you know, everyone was like, it was devastating to watch him like be so,

like to cry that way. Yeah. Because I think that they was probably still confused. Yeah. But I don't think Joe Mendon, like he apologized. It was in the moment. I mean, yeah. And then there is, we do want to hear from him.

You know, I'm not, I'm not going to lie and say, oh yeah, you shouldn't put a mic inside. I'm curious. I wanted to hear what he would say, but probably not the best time. Not the best time. Decidering. Not especially that kind of finish. Emotions. Like you were talking, we talked about late stoppage.

Yeah, that was a late stoppage. It was late, but watching back, I mean, watching the moment, I didn't even, it was late stoppage. But I didn't realize how late it was. It was late. Because when he was on top of DC, I feel like on McCarthy's view, DC was moving, but that was just because John was hitting him. But I thought DC for being late.

No, it was late. And McCarthy had a very clear view of what was happening. And I think that was just erroneous on his, but big John is, you know, the best in the game. But that was a big error. Yeah, it's probably because he was like, shit, I should probably give DC a chance because this is such a big fight for him. But then just a little three punches too long, three punches too long. Yeah.

And it just shows how even after the fight, Cormier was complaining, he was throwing a fit and everyone was wondering why. And then apparently it's because he thought the stoppage was early. It was early. Yeah. So it's like, that just shows you, he was concussed. He was concussed. He was concussed.

And he saw the replay and then he realized, and that's when he started crying. Yeah. God, it broke my heart to see him cry. Yeah. But, you know, that's, I think that anybody in that position, when you put your heart and soul into something like that and you train for it so hard and you've pictured and imagined it to go one way for so long and then you don't, it doesn't go in your favor, who isn't going to cry? You know, it doesn't make you any less of a man.

I think it's a truer man that he's, he was able to express himself in that way. And I think that's the beauty of the sport. I don't think that you should, you know, we should, you know, wave a finger at people or men who get emotional about this. Like that's, you're putting your body on the line there. Not just your body, but your fucking brain essentially. So yeah. Respect to both of them though.

And then congratulations to him. I like him. I think he's the greatest fighter. It's just, let's see if his personality is genuine, genuine. That's the only thing that turns me off is the fakeness. But he seemed genuine at the press conference, we'll see. But he's fooled me twice already because I'm gullible. So then let's just talk about the second one really quick.

Your general thoughts on Woodley and Maya. I might have a different view from a lot of people from this. Oh, give me your view. So my thing is, like I texted even after the fight, I was like, because I just woke up and I caught the fight. I was like, damn, I should have just kept sleeping because it was like a snooze vest. Yeah. You know, or you feel like there's moments where Woodley could have just executed

and would have beat him easily and way more tools. But like, look, like looking back, it's like, he was right. Like listening to a lot of his interviews. It's like he is still the champion, right? It's like people are shitting on Woodley for the way he fought. But people should be also questioning Damien Maya, the way he fought was like. He was trying to bait him into the ground. On the ground.

So everyone's like, you should have stood up with, you should have went to the ground with Maya and grounded him. That's not his, that's, that's Damien Maya's world is on the ground. Seven people in a row. Carlos Condon. Yeah. I mean, the list goes on. People he submitted.

Gunnar Nelson, world judges who black belt champion, world champion. So it's like, I thought he played it smart. If anything, Damien Maya should be getting shit too. It's like, well, why didn't you train him? Did you train more to set up your takedown? Yeah. Why is it always, why is it always the job of the champion to be the only aggressor in the fight? No, you take the belt from the champion.

You have to unhorse the champion, not by playing it safe. You have to be, you know, I think that I thought I enjoyed watching it. I wasn't particularly like, I don't like when people boo because it's like, you're not in there. You're not a fighter. Yeah. Yeah, like I'm most really embarrassed for Anaheim. The way they were booing and doing that with their phones, you know, showing the light. I was like, oh my God, what kind of fans are you?

But, you know, you can't always have this type of like bloody action. Sometimes there is a beauty in like a chess match and people being a little bit more patient with their strategy. I'm not going to say it was the most enthralling match I've ever seen. But you know, I respect it and I respect what those guys have to do in order to, you know, basically secure that seven figure salary to support their families. I mean, it's like, um, but I mean, I see where people were saying that it was, it was sort of a snooze fest or some, but I still enjoyed it.

I really liked watching the Seroni fight. Do you see the thing is you still get other fights like that, brawls on the card. I mean, it's just one fight. And the price that Tyron Woodley pays is that he's being called a boring fighter, but that's just the burden that he has to carry. Yeah, not you, you know, that's his job, you know, anyways, and also he, uh, apparently first round shoulder dislocated. He has to get surgery.

So that's why you couldn't do anything but straight punches. Anyways, uh, that's our MMA medic. Why are you peeking through the door? Bob is creeping at us. It's lab gang. Uh, yeah, go ahead. I want to take this moment and you guys can tune out if you want. If it doesn't, um, so this last week has been really difficult for me because as I mentioned,

a couple episodes ago, my aunt was, um, diagnosed with cancer and she was an aunt that I grew up with in the Philippines, you know, we're all really close. My mom and sister went to go visit her in Germany a couple months ago. Um, this last week, basically she's, um, it's the end of the road for her. So I want to take the moment to dedicate this episode to her and to her entire life and the struggle that she's had with cancer. And I think that she's a few hours from taking her last breath and I want to say that it's been a pleasure to know you as a human and I wish she could have stayed longer, but I love you and, um,

rest easy. I guess. Amen. Yeah. Thank you guys for listening and, um, we'll see you next week. Bye guys. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Tiger barely ad free on Amazon music. Download the Amazon music app today, or you can listen ad free with Wondry plus in Apple podcast.

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