TigerBelly - Episode 111: Pweef Pweef

Episode Date: October 4, 2017

There is no silver lining in this week's cloud. It's hard to keep it light. But in this week's somber belly, we give it a try and process our pain by talking about God shots, dick bubbles, dragonkicks, and penile queefing.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. 5 4 3 I can't sing a song today for this podcast. Do you know why? Yeah. Too many terrible things. Oh, here we go. Here we go. He's no he isn't. Hey, you need to turn that off, sir. You need to turn that switch off right now before Kylo gouges your eyes. But you're already making it sound like honestly you have no respect for it. I have respect for it. I know what it is is this. I know here's what it is. Here's what it is. When I went to whenever I go to a funeral, I laugh because I use laughing as a self self self I know for a defense mechanism humor

humor. I've always done that. So when I'm really like laughing at a tragic thing, I'm really crying. There's a fine line. Who said it? There's a fine line between tears and hatred and anger. Who said that? I think I just did. Okay, I made that our own quote, but that's a good quote. It's pretty pain and laughter pain and laugh for our two sisters in a canoe. Oh my God, that's such a good line. Right? Pain and laughter are two sisters in the canoe and they both drown and die. Oh, you didn't let me finish. But Vegas happened last night. That was terrible. You know, I was where was I? I was at Shake Shack. I'm at Shake Shack and I'm looking up at the

screen and it just said on in CNN shooter running free through Vegas or something. I just thought that I thought that was just a guy with a gun and he maybe a shot one guy. I didn't know it was like this thing. So I was eating my hamburger and like a fuck. I started playing games on my phone. Had a little shake. I came home and then call it was no, it's real. I'm like, right? I said, no, at that point, well, my sister has a friend that was at the show. Yeah. And he marked himself safe immediately even before it hit the media or the news. And so my sister texted me from work and she was like, Hey, this is what's going on.

There's an active shooter. No reported deaths yet. But my friend just said that it was a blood fest from his vantage point. So I turned on the news and nothing had been reported yet. Yeah. But then I that's when I texted you. I was like, no, this thing is real. The guy, her friend was in the middle like saw everybody bled up and bodies down and everything. And the video that I thought this is serious was she showed me a video when I got home of somebody, you know, who tell them or somewhere, look at that. Look at that. Yeah. Those are all bodies. And then they showed from a distance, just a bunch of people just laying motionless.

And I'm like, what? That's that. This is real. This is real bad. You know, and it, I mean, I'm glad it wasn't a Muslim. There's no way to be glad about anything. I mean, I'm not glad, you know, I'm bummed that the whole thing happened. But is that wrong? What I just said? Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this, right? When don't smile. This is not nothing to laugh about. This serious shit. But when I was shooting Pineapple Express when the Virginia Tech thing happened. And I remember asking, I didn't have a phone back. I don't know what happened, but I kept asking. I know it was an Asian guy, but was he Korean? Me and Ken Jung wanted

to know if he was Korean. And it was a devastating news that he had done that. But him being Korean when we found out made it worse. It's the same reason why yesterday when they identified the, they didn't identify the shooter first. They identified the woman companion and her name was Marie Lou, Marie Lou Danley. And they said Asian woman. And I was like, God damn it. I know she's Filipino. Because there's no Koreans named Marie Lou. There's no Koreans. I've never been a Korean in Mary Lou. As soon as I saw Marie Lou, I was like, yeah, that's Filipino. And I was like, shit, because then I'm thinking in my head. I think, I

do think like you, where I'm like, okay, my family has an appointment with the embassy to get a visa next week in Manila. And I'm like, is Marie Lou decided in Mary Lou's Filipino going to fuck up their chances? Thank you. You know, thankfully, embarrassing, you know, when, if it's your ethnicity, it's like, you end up going, sorry, like, yeah, nothing to do with it. I would never do that. But when Virginia had tech happen, I was telling people like, I'm sorry, really? Yeah, that sucks, man. That's like weird for being, it made me hate him more. You know what made me, it made me, I hate his parents. The parenting? Yeah, because, you

know, you find out about the parenting and he had social issues and whatnot, but they didn't address it because he got good grades, you know? But so when she found out it was Filipino, there was a little, there was a little thing, but there's a moment where I'm like, fuck. But you know, Filipino killed and Andrew Kananan was Filipino. Yeah. He killed Gianni. He was half right though. He's half. He's half. Very Americanized too, I think. Yeah, but what I meant to say is, is that because I am a liberal, I guess, and I have Muslim friends, if it was a Muslim, it just, it feeds into that narrative that Trump people, you know, can take that and

rub it in our faces. Like, see? So that's the reason why there is a little bit of relief when you go, oh, it's a white guy, you know? But then I was saying that would have been, it seemed like a liberal that did it. No, there's, there's really not, this guy is, is a well off accountant with no priors who had access to 23 guns. He, there were two rooms that he rented out at the Mandalay Bay so that he could get better angles at, better shooting angles at the crowd. And he's a guy who basically, you know, is. How many guns did he have? 23. So there's no, there's no like usher, what do they call them? Hotel usher, the people that carry

the bags. Concierge or bellboys. Yeah. They're like, what the fuck? You can carry a rifle in a double bag. Are these guitars? I mean, what is he? Funny that you say that's where he bought it from is a shop called Guns and Guitars. Get out of here. Because that's the only in Mesquite, Nevada where they have a shop called Guns and Guitars. Yeah. So he, he brings, I mean, obviously that's a lot of shit. So they probably thought he was like a DJ or, I don't know. And the reason that they were able to track him down, SWAT or the cops were able to track him down is because there was so much smoke in his room that it set off the fire alarm and

they were able to find him that way. He ended up offing himself. He offed himself. Yeah. And decoured. He's a fucking coward. And we are not going to say his name on here because he doesn't even know his name. Good. And we should never pronounce it for some reason. Well, we shouldn't bother knowing his name. But it's, it's, it's literally like, it's the worst mass shooting in US history. Not US recent US history. I don't know what that means in the last hundred years. What does that mean? It's the largest, right? Yeah. I mean, compared to Orlando, Fort Hood, Sandy Hook, you know, things like that. It's crazy. And the thing is, is that gun laws

are not going to change. It's not going to change. But can we, can we at least make it harder to get guns? But they won't even do that. Right. Different. Like in Nevada, you can walk around the strip with a machine gun. That's, you know, that those are the carry laws there in California. It's a little bit different. But, you know, we've had fucking mass shootings here too. So, you know, in Japan, you can get a gun, but it takes like, it takes you to go through so many tests and fill out so many forms. And in 2007 or whatever, I don't know, I think that was the right year. They only had four shotgun deaths through the whole

country. I think that if you make it so difficult, you can have a gun. Not in this case. In this particular case, like I said, the guy has no priors. He has no history of violence, no history of abuse. We can't. Yeah, but you can't, why would he need a, why would he need a semi-automatic weapon? And I'm just telling you this, he has his pilot license. He's an accountant. He had money. You know, everybody in his life has said, oh, this, we're so shocked. You know, this guy didn't seem like that type. So what I'm saying is you could set out a bunch of laws to really go deep into a background check and find nothing. And

that's what the guns and guitars play said. This guy checked off, you know, all the things that we normally check off on. But make that check off a little harder. Like you can't get six machine guns. Well, you need six machine guns. Where are you going? Kosovo? What is, okay, what is the, why do we need to arm regular citizens with automatic? I just asked it that just now, hey, hey, country red. Fuck a background check. You're from a plantation, argue that fucking fact check. Constitution wise, it's because you need to be able to defend yourself against an evil government. Okay, okay. So that's that. That's the

reason why all the laws are for militia. That's what the Constitution says, is to have a militia to like ward off the government going bad and like. You're gonna, if the government's gonna get you, look at Waco, they're gonna get you. Fuck that Waco is a disaster. They're gonna get you. They're gonna burn your kids and all that shit. Okay. And that's a direct like that's the. Yeah, but what I'm saying is is that we're at a point now, right, that that's not, you're not gonna fight the government. They have nukes and they have like scary dudes with like a lot of guys with a lot of things. A lot of gadgets. I know it's not, I want to get

specific. Yeah. No, it's difficult because like then the, when the Constitution was created, you had like your guns, cause you took like five minutes to load a gun. So there was no way to like have a gun that could kill so many people. Like as a private citizen, you were so, he had so much less firepower. So that's why it's such a sticky issue is because it was created for. Muskets. I honestly don't see, I don't see the need for any private citizen to own a fucking machine gun. Yeah. That's just absurd. But here's a fact. No law is gonna change because if Sandy Hook didn't do it, nothing's gonna do it. If you have kids, six year old

kids getting slaughtered and that doesn't move anything, nothing will. So we're stuck with these things. And I'm sorry to say, but I don't need a gun. You hate guns. I hate them. I don't need them. I've never had one. I've never held one. No. Oh, you've never held one? No. And I will have to say this, that even if a guy pulled out a gun, I think there's a part of me thinks, thinks I'm going to get out of it. Cause you're Bruce Lee. No, no, that's not saying I would do anything I can. I'd beg, I would cry. I go, I'll suck your dick. But if someone actually held it in my mouth, I'll do anything. You can have everything. You know, I would do

anything it took. Come in my mouth and have everything. No, I used to think I was like a tough guy in a sense, but like the first time I saw a gun in LA, I was like at an internship on a, it was Santa Monica and like near Vine, like two blocks away. I just like looked up and there were two cholos and they were like, I was like, there's a shiny thing in that guy's hand. Would you think it was a magic wand? He has a ring pop. This black guy started running. Like shirtless black guy started running. That's the funniest thing you've said today. Just ran by me on the sidewalk and then I'm like, I look back and the cholos like jumped in their

car. Civic like just sped by me. Yeah. Sled to a stop in front of this guy. Yeah. And I was like, and I pulled the gun on him again. Shot him though? You shoot? Well, I realized I'm a fighter because that's my last memory until being like a block and a half away. He's blocked out. I saw some white guy watering his lawn just like staring and I was like, that's my only other memory and then I was like, the Atlantic Monthly I had in my pocket had my address on it. I hope they don't, it was a magazine. Yeah. Okay. I was like, I hope I don't hear any shots because they might pick that up and figure out. Yeah. Oh, as a way. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah.

But the thing is, is this is that like when I, there was a comp at the comedy store in 97, I got pulled out an Uzi and just shot it in the sky inside. Yeah. No, outside in the patio. Everyone would, but where I was, I made it in a second behind the bar underneath like some beer cans. You just ran. Yeah. I was like in a bar. There was never, they're not gonna find me. My point is, is that even if I had a gun, even if I was trained, what am I gonna do? Yeah. I mean, that's, that's exactly the point that a lot of people were making yesterday is that, you know, in those like, there were a lot of people who were armed there. You know, there were

a lot of officers, there were, there were a lot of license like, you know, people who had the license to carry and they were carrying their weapons that were part of the tour buses or the artists, the entourage of the artists. But even they said like, in that situation, you could be armed fucking with a fucking cannon. If you don't know where it's coming from, you're not going to be able to protect yourself or anybody around you. That's just the end of, that's just how it goes. Yeah. And nobody knew where it was coming from. You know, it was just they were just being mowed down. It was just a rain of bullets everywhere.

Yeah. Like when, when that, the, in Colorado, the movie theater got shot. I heard some NRA guys say, well, if everyone in there had a gun, you know, that wouldn't happen. Yeah. In a dark movie theater, somebody, everyone, one guy's shooting and then everyone pulls out a gun, starts shooting randomly in a dark movie theater. It's a massacre then. Yeah. And imagine if the cops are coming and those guys are, let's say those guys that are, that are, that have a license to carry, start shooting at the active shooter, the cops are going to look at them and then shoot them because they don't know who the bad guy is in those

types of situations. You know, they just see someone armed. There's got to be a different one. What we're trying to say is this, you have the right to bear arms, but there's got to be, there's just got to be something that we, we can put in there. That's not, I mean, there's got to be some sort of safeguard, more safeguards restrictions. No or no. I mean, we're not this kind of show. I mean, we talk about pussies and we talk about farts and we talk about like, you know, but this is a serious thing. Yeah. We're probably, pussie farts, pussie farts. This is a very serious thing. Yeah. It's a very serious thing.

Wow. Talk about your pussie farts that you always have. You know, I honestly, my pussie farts a lot. I'm a quiefer. Oh my God. She also has a shitter. Dude, I saw a shit in there. Oh my God. It was a small shit. I know it was a small shit, but it was gray. It wasn't gray. It was colorless. No. Okay. What happened was, all right, I'm going through an ulcerative colitis flare up right now. Classic colitis flare up. We all know what that is. So it was a little, it was a little colorless and it had it like a little thing of, yeah, there's blood in it. You know what? I have a theory that guys

queef two out of their penis holes. You felt that before? No, but listen, it's so small the hole that you can't hear the sound. It's like this. So what? So we should call that something. A Pweef? Not a Pweef. What? A Pweef. That's a Pweef. We just created a new fucking word everybody. It's a penis weave. It's the air trapped in a penis hole. Is that even a thing? It is a thing. It is a thing. Because I peeped the other day. What happened? I peeped the other day. I think you just came. No, I didn't came. I was driving down the street. I didn't came. I didn't came, right? This is what I heard.

I didn't came. I heard this. This is what I heard. I heard. And I go, I just pweefed. What? A little air in my penis hole. And that's what happened. You know what it was? Is I had pee in my tube. Yeah. I had a doctor's. I don't know the terminology. A vast difference. Is it a vast difference? I had a little air, right? And then more pee. So I had two sections of pee in between. Bubble. Was a little bubble. Air bubble. So I peed in my pants a little bit. Did it bubble when it came out of your hole? And it went like that. Wait, hold on. When you pweefed, did a little bubble. Stop. Second, like it's a real word. It is a real word. We just made it up.

Did a bubble form at the tip of your dick? No, my pants were on. I don't know. Maybe. Oh my God. If people, if I can see a bubble at the tip of someone's dick, I will be, that might make me the happiest person in the world. Ooh, you need more hope in life. It's like, no, it's like a childhood thing. It's so cute to see a little bubble at the tip of someone's penis is the cutest thing I've ever ever had. Say that again with a giant, veiny black dick. Yes. A little bubble on like a veiny black dick. What if it was a blood bubble? Oh, why do you have to get it? It wasn't a pee bubble. It wasn't a pweef. It was a blood bubble. No, then a bloody pweef. Yeah. Yeah. A whitey pweef.

Yeah. Um, so that's what we talked about. Is there a promise? If you can fart bubbles out, that'd be the best thing ever. You can. Yeah. But anyway, and also here's another bad thing. Tom, Tom Petty. Oh yeah. Tom Petty is in life support. No, they took him off life support. But it hasn't been officially released that he's dead. So until then. I know. I didn't say he died. That's not RIP yet. I didn't RIP yet. But he's gonna. Probably. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds pretty. But if he doesn't, that's cool. You know. That's great. So let's pray for him too. Um. He's young. 66. Yeah. What about you? What about you, Hefner? Fuck him. Oh, really? Fuck him? Dude, he died at 91. True. He's been, he's been knee-deep in pussy since the 40s.

He's been pweefing since the 40s. Yeah. Come pweefs. Come pweefs all day. I mean, this dude right here, dude, when I see, when I find out he died, I'm like fuck him. He led the life. Dude, he was knee-deep in more pussy than anyone. He's more than Crystallia. More than Pauly Shore. Pauly Shore. This dude was swimming in it. And he, they lived in his house. He had a mansion full of top of the line pussy. He had a harem. Yeah. I mean, I don't feel bad. And also he made money based on it. Yeah. And then he had to have these parties and Jamie Foxx and Sinbad and all these people. You know what I mean? Sinbad. I don't know why he just says Sinbad. Jamie Foxx and Sinbad. I don't think Sinbad came but like, you know what I mean? Have you been

invited to one of those? I went to one. Yeah. It was terrible. Oh. It was no, I didn't meet any girls. I was in like a hammock with some other guy. I was Jordan. I was somebody like that and we're just swinging. You were just hanging in the hammock waiting for the girls to swing. No, we were swimming. No, we were like swinging from this little hammock and I was with another guy. I forgot who it was. You were swinging with a guy in the hammock? Well, that's why girls weren't talking to you. Yeah. They probably just assumed you and Jordan were like gay lovers. That's not sexy. That's not sexy. And then I remember talking about... I remember talking about, how come we can't find no girls here, man? Because you heard these stories like,

I went to the fucking Playboy match. I got a blowjob and a tent. Damn. Yeah. Nothing. So like, how did you walk in? What did you walk in? Expecting? How were you dressed? What was the... I think I wore a tie. Oh. Bobby tie? Yeah. Like a shirt. Like a... I went to the Army Serpa store and I got one of those like cut off. Army Serpa? No, not the tie. The tie was like from the Gap or something. Oh. Because Gap had these little cute striped ties. Yeah. And went to the Army Serpa store and I got one of those. Because I didn't know how to get fancy shit. Yeah. And I got one of those like, you know, cut off button shirts, you know, and then I, you know, the one with the pocket and I put the tie on. I slipped my hair back and I was on a hammock. Oh. Did you

have a penis bubble? I don't remember. Because I don't, back then I didn't have that theory. So even if I heard it, I would probably get, oh, that's like a pill bug that exploded beneath my feet or something. I mean, I stepped on a pill bug. How did it get to your feet? I don't know. Those are the worst, huh? Those pill bugs? No, potato bugs. That's what they're called. Pill bugs? They're the same as potato bugs? I don't think so. Yeah. Yeah. I look it up. Hold on. I'm going to look it up. Where Wi-Fi isn't working. Whatever bug. Here's the bug. The, if it is, is the potato bug where you touch it and it curls into like a little. No, that's a roly-poly. That's a roly-poly. No, that's a pill bug. No, those are so cute. It might be a pill bug. I think it's a pill bug. Now, which one's

a potato bug? Hang on. You have not seen a potato bug. I've never, I've never heard a potato bug. I don't know what a potato bug is. Okay. Hold on one second. Let me show you how cute a pill bug looks. Okay. This is what Bobby's afraid of. Let me see. Let me see. Versus, let me show you guys. I'm not afraid of it. I'm afraid of its cowardly defense mechanism. Okay. Let me show you guys a fucking potato bug. It's cowardly like you touch it and goes, no, I'm going to be a ball. That's pretty bad, actually. Hi, guys. That's a fucking potato bug. Oh, can I see that? That's cute. I like the ridges. I've never seen one of those in my life. Where'd you get those up? It's massive and scary. Yeah, where? They have them here. Where? I'm going to put one on you while you're asleep. Oh my God.

You know what? I'm going to put a cockroach on you. Dude. Don't put a pill bug. Don't put a potato bug on me, bitch. What's that? You said it didn't threaten you. That doesn't, I don't give a fuck about that. Oh yeah. Wait till you see one. And wait till you see the cockroaches I have. Why would you put a, why would you do that? What would you threaten me with a potato bug? First of all, what's your deal with cockroach? He hates it. I have real PTSD. I'm telling you right now, if you saw, if you walked down the street and you, and you're with Kalyla and she says a cockroach, you won't see her again. She's up in a tree. I flight it. She screams. Really? It's fucking crazy. And now can I just explain, have a second to explain why. Okay. In the Philippines, we don't

have cute little cockroaches. We have the aerial cockroaches and those motherfuckers will look at you, will stalk you from a high point and they will fly right into your long hair and you will have no other choice but to crunch them into your hair. So all the cockroach juices are now like just sliding down your neck. All right. Listen. When does that ever happen? Okay. And there's, it gets worse than that. Okay. And so I'm thinking to myself, oh, now I come to America. They don't have those jumbo cockroaches here, not in California. So we moved into this like one bedroom shack in Pasadena and they had these tiny little cockroaches. I was like, Oh, those are nothing. Nothing. Except there's fucking millions of them. They, they're not solo aerial cockroaches.

They're a fucking army of small cockroaches and they would chew up my sisters, me and my sister Shin because we slept on the floor and we would have scars and I'm telling you this right now. Cockroaches are fucking opportunistic eaters. They will eat any, they will eat each other and your shins. Mosquitoes do the same shit. Another thing. Can I tell you? You know what? Also, you know what? Mosquitoes, they give you aids to malaria. Yeah. All that stuff. But let me just say this real quick. Can I explain my cockroach PTSD? Are you, are you going to get, no, you're going to get, no, I know you do this. You fucking railroad me all the time. Go ahead. I'm going to explain why I have PTSD. Go ahead. Finish it. Then I would go to school

bleeding on your leg. Okay. Okay. It would fucking eaten out shins. I didn't know they do that. Okay. And I, my, my dad put one of those cockroach bombs and now the cockroaches were fleeing, but they flee into our school backpacks and our swim bags on our textbooks. So here I was in chemistry class thinking, oh my God, I'm going to go home to a cockroach-free home. I opened up my chemistry book and the fucking like 11 cockroaches just fly out. Maybe they're trying to study a geology or whatever. They're trying to learn. Yeah. Same when I went to swim practice, they were just everywhere, every corner of my life they existed. And I have cockroach PTSD. Now like it, everything I feel like around me, I assume as a cockroach. So I like slap or

you're okay with other bugs. I love, I, I, I own two tarantulas. I had, um, uh, I had one named Charlie, a mistake with a name. And then I had another one named Boris. Wonderful name. I had another one named Finn. Charlie Finn. This is the trash line. Yeah. Or Finn Charlie or Finn Charlie. My favorite cousin's name is Charlie. Yeah. But, uh, she hates them. Yeah. That's the point. I absolutely hate cockroaches. Do not even, I don't even want to look at them. Yeah. And I just, I know, just to scurry away from, oh, look at these puns. Scurry away from, uh, this Vegas and this dark shit. So Ken Burns is a documentary filmmaker and he has put out his series, The Vietnam War. Now I want to talk to you bitches about it because I'm a fucking,

all knee deep in this shit. History mother. Yo, dude, like, bro, I used to watch platoon and shit and, and, um, full metal jacket and all this shit. Seen it? What? Seen it? I was just backing you up. Yeah. Seen it? Yeah. I used to watch, uh, apocalypse and all that. Now all that shit, right? Oh shit. Dear Hunter. Dear Hunter and all that shit. And I used to go, wow, this is crazy. Why are they fighting? Like I had no idea why these wars were, is it because they don't like the noodles? I don't know what's going on. Same. Same. Did you write? I just knew it was a war. You didn't know exactly what the fuck was going on. What started it? What started it? Why are we there? You didn't learn that in high school? No. No. We just learned a lot about the civil war

because I was in Georgia. My stepdad Roger, because he was my high school history teacher, he was my stepdad now, he dedicated all of US history to Vietnam and all the mistakes we made as a government. And he drilled it into our head start. He watched, have us watch movies after movies about another thing, the Charlie company, the convoy of tears, everything. Yeah. And I feel bad because when I started doing standup, I used to do this thing. These are all the famous Vietnamese war photos. So I did this thing where I'd stand up on stage and I put my hands behind my back and I do this. Yeah. And I had my friend John of the Gothic half gun with his finger and that would get a laugh and then I would tuck my dick between my thing and get naked and do that Vietnamese

girl that was burned running down the street. Oh my God. Yeah. I used to do that early, early on. Yeah. Okay. I used to crush, but killed because of because it was so edgy. I don't know why, but I feel bad for doing it. You have regrets. Real big regrets. Tell us why. Because it's not right. Because you watch the document yet 30 hours of this fucking thing, man. But it's not that. It's just when you don't put it in context and you just know the photo. Yeah. It's funny. To see if Vietnamese girl running down the street with her vag all sticking out. I mean, naked. I mean, I know that photo and that's a painful photo. I don't know how you ever turned that into something happy. I never turned into happy. I just edgy. Oh, that's a painful

photo. I know, but you didn't know. Yeah. But you also, I didn't know that she was burned from the photo. Yeah. When you watch the documentary, go, oh, she, that she's on fire from Agent Orange. Yeah. And they showed her back and she was all fucked up from it. You know, like when you see Rage Against Machines album, the first cover, you see that Monk on Fire. Yeah. That's from the Vietnam. Yeah. They used to, when they were trying to rebel against ZM in the South, in the South, in Saigon, they would do protests and they would light themselves on fire. And you know, yeah, but it's crazy how like you watch them, right? And they must have been in such like a real like meditative or like a lot of like self belief because it's not like they were

squirming when they were burning. They sat there and they burned and they, until they died. I'm screaming. I know it's, it blew my mind and it made me, I was just, it's really touching. You guys should really, I mean, honestly, like, if I was like, I was a monk. Yeah. And they came up to me. Well, you come up to me and say that I have to do that. Yo. Yes. Monk master. Yo. Yo. Yeah. Yeah. You need to burn yourself. Look, you know what, do you know why? Why? Because I'm the um guy. Oh, the sound. Yeah. Um, yeah. Without me, there's no peace. Because that's like a guttural thing that we all do. So ask Frank, Frank. Yeah. And then Frank would do it. That's terrible. It's a terrible thing that they did, but it didn't change much. You know, and then, um, it's just all the

mist out the first Kennedy starting it and then. No, Eisenhower, Kennedy, and then Lyndon. And then it was really Kennedy started the beginning of like the actual war, war part. I feel like he still, there was still an inheritance there though. There was a little bit. Yeah. But, um, because the, the, the, the north, south whole, you know, the Cold War thing was had a lot to do with it. But anyways, LB, LBGK. What's his name? Who? Lyndon Johnson. Yeah. That dude. Yeah. But you guys, it's on PBS and it's, you have it. It's a master. I'm telling you right now, I haven't learned more about, I have learned so much from watching these documentary, this documentary. It's riveting. And the two hours, an episode goes by quick because it just goes

into people's lives. Not only just American soldiers, but the Vietnamese soldiers, not just Vietnamese soldiers, but what the North Vietnamese soldiers were thinking, the South Vietnamese soldiers were thinking. Yeah. And they didn't, they weren't always like, even, you know, you think of the North as like Ho Chi Minh. Ho Chi Minh didn't agree with a guy who took over the. Yeah. Duong, Duong, Duong, Duong, Lai Duong. Lai Duong, Lai Duong. Yeah. So there was a lot of turmoil in the North too. There was a lot of, they weren't just fighting each other. They were also fighting amongst themselves. And on top of that, the Americans were there. And then on top before that, the French were there. It was just, and then on top of that, USSR was still, the whole cold

war thing was happening. So there were so many elements that caused this just fucking years of disaster. There's so many little things. And this is how we left them. We knotted in their face and ran away laughing. Yeah. We were awful. Yeah. We literally went, we literally went, hey, we're going to pull out, but we'll back you up, you know, when you need it to the South Vietnamese government. Bye. And we left and we just let them fucking die. We abandoned them. But that's after obviously killing a million of them. Yeah. Yeah. But they, I mean, that we, we, we lied to them and we fucked. But we also lied to the people, to Americans. I think a lot of them, you know, that's so much. Here's another point I wanted to fucking make is Kent State.

Remember what happened there? The protesters. There was a protest, a college, college students. The fucking National Guard comes out, you know, and they just shoot into them. Americans, American National Guard went to Kent State, shot into the crowd of kids, college kids, killed four, and they did a poll. 68% of Americans backed it. Oh, really? Yeah. And let me tell you something right now. And you can, I mean, it's very Trumpy. You know, I realized that those hippies and all those, those are the liberals. That's the beginning of it, I think. The liberals, as we know, protest. Yeah, peace, love, you know what I mean? We love everybody, you know? And then you had the other side. That other side's always been there. You know? I don't think you should necessarily

lump them all and paint them with one brush. What do you mean? I mean, there aren't just liberals and then Trump people. There's men, there are many things in between those lines. But I'm just saying the extreme, the extreme, those are the two extremes. And then you have guys in the middle like George. And that's our policy. I'm just saying that even toward the end of the war, there are people going, we support the military, we support the war. When it was meaningless, why we were there, it was a no win war. In conclusion, Bobby and I are going to take a trip to Vietnam solely to visit the Ho Chi Minh Trail. And I'm going to give that fan a hug. Yeah, I think that after this, you guys, Bobby never wants to go. He has never like, I used to eat

pho at least once a week. I don't know what it is. You don't eat pho? No. I don't know what it is. Wow. What do you wow? Because I feel like you eat a lot of noodles and soup, you know. Yeah, I eat ramen and love it. Jigae. Love it. Fa. Nah. Pasta. You love it. Fa. Nah. He loves, he will, he will love it. Really? You're going to love them. What is that one? Nem-nong? Nem-nong, right? The spring roll. Oh, I just say spring roll. It has nothing to do with the people, man. You know why. Yeah. You all know why I don't eat pho. Because of your Joker to your Batman. Yes. It affects your food choices? Yes. That's so deep though. What the fuck? The D2SP. The one and only. Wow. It affects deep down. Yeah. Where I won't even eat the food. Wow. You don't have a nice clean

chicken broth. Why don't we just be honest for one second. You've never admitted to this. What? You've pretty done this, haven't we? Why are you so hung up on DP? Did he like, drag and kick you in the chest? I don't know who that is. I want to let you guys know that Bobby was once drag and kicked in the chest. He kicked me in the chest. He kicked me in the chest. And he also assaulted me at the comedy store in the Hollywood. A long time ago. I thought it's all been calm. Interaction is just weird. Yeah. Don't touch me. Oh, Jesus. But I mean, you and Ari are friends now and he touched you multiple times. Oh, that's a little different. Because it's why. It's always why the core. So the reasons why Ari attacked me was we've

already talked about it. But financial, I owed him four grand and he was in a relationship where he was deeply in love. He didn't know what to do. So when it comes to love, I get violence. Okay. With DP, drag and kick is I made fun of a homeless open mic. Or any grab me goes, don't make fun of people. That's like, no, you don't touch me for that. You know, it's like, he's homeless. He shouldn't even be on stage. Oh, I feel like I'm going to take his side on this. He was terrible, baby. He would go over the light. He wouldn't go by the light. Right. He was just up there doing gibberish. And when it comes to stage time, I want kids, no matter what race or point of view you have, to work on jokes and try to tell jokes,

even if you're not good. You know, George doing it, he does stand up. I haven't seen him do stand up. Oh, it's bad. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Can I say some of this? When you open for me at that country club in Baker, where were the baker's field? I was like, you know what? He's trying and he's learning. Yeah. But there are some people that just are crazy and they're wasting your time. I see. Yeah. I don't believe that stage time should be wasted in that way. You know, it's one thing to have talent. It's the other one thing to have just wasting, you know, people's fucking time. But it's stage time at the comedy store. That too. That's what means something. If it's an open mic, you're paying your five bucks and you're getting up. But

yeah. And then I made fun of him. He shouldn't have touched you though. And then dad, you know, dad fan, he grabbed me, pushed me against the wall. And I remember, you know, David Taylor, he remind he reminded me that it happened because in my head, I thought maybe that I was a police or a fart. That was a definite police police. In my mind, I thought maybe I maybe I made it up. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe I made it up. Maybe, you know, I, but it, no, but then David came up to me one day and he goes, remember that one time that he pushed you? And I go, I didn't make it up. It was real. It was real. But it goes beyond that. We'll probably won't, you know, what's the kick? Is that the same day? No. We were at an Irish, we were an Irish bar in Pacific Beach.

I'm going to say something. I don't know. But he did a kick. He did a homeless kick to my chest. It seems so Asian. He's very Asian. Yeah, I know. I've seen. But you know what? After this Vietnam documentary, I'm being real. I think it all, that all died. Oh, damn Ken Burns. Yeah. You have emotional reparations. I do. I've healed. Holy shit. It healed me, did reconciliation. Reconcilation. Yeah. I think that maybe we might be ready to have him on our show then. The. There was a pause guys. That was just an audio delay. That was not the problem. I'll tell you the problem with that. The problem with that is that he'll, he's a type of guy and somebody else did this. I would just say it. Who? Ken. Oh, okay. So when I asked Ken Jung to do Tiger Bell,

I love him. We're good. He said, well, my publicist will have to go over some of the questions and topics that we talk about. And I go, okay, knowing that I thought you're never going to do it because that we're not doing that. Well, maybe he doesn't understand that it's, it's like it's a low key kind of friend environment. No, no, no. He's just like, I, he knows what it is. It's like, Joe Coy says this isn't like, you know, premium radio show. If maybe if Ken knew that you were just doing it in a second room and, you know, having. Tiger Bell is a premium radio show. It's not on the radio. Okay. It's premium. Whatever it is. It's premium. Okay. I don't, I refuse to believe that. I believe that people listening right now, right? Well, today we had

a guy. They're sophisticated. They're artsy and they're future people. And I'm going to back the people that listen to Tiger Belly to the end of fucking time. You guys are future people. You're a future people. Okay. So anyone that goes, I don't want to be real and talk about real things, then go fuck yourself. I mean, in a nice way. And I just think that DP would be like, you know, I don't want to ask him questions. I don't, right? You don't think that we could probably like, you know, you know, get him to feel emotionally comfortable enough to open up about certain things? I think we would. You guys are pretty good. I know I'm pretty. I'll tell you, I'll tell you why also is because I don't want to get into certain areas. You know, oh, you don't want to

get. I don't, I don't want to. I think that you guys have always had a very, like a very competitive relationship because you guys were two Asian guys, relatively the same age coming up from the same city. So I think that it's inevitable to feel some type of like competitive nature against somebody. If it's, you know, given that, but can I talk about my God shot today? Your God shot. It's a God shot. And you're going to think it's silly, but I want to express myself anyway. So today I had a table read at that thing for the show, and I was terrible. I was terrible. I did well, all the other ones, but this one I was just lost and I couldn't say the words. I rushed certain lines. It was not good. And I couldn't even look up from my fucking seat.

I after I did my scenes, I just let just stayed because I'm like the shame, shame. And I didn't even seek a bite of people. I just left the table read and at Warner Brothers, there's a Starbucks there. So I went right to the Starbucks. It's far from wherever the table or the conference room where I was doing the table read. And I sat in the Starbucks and I was literally mumbling myself, you fucking piece of shit. You fucking fucker. You know what I mean? Like just mumbling to myself because I treat myself so poorly whenever I make a mistake, which is a bad thing. I want to learn to get over it. I really treat like you're fucking piece of shit. You fucking moron. You know, like, you know what I mean? Stop briefing. And then I hear this. Excuse me.

And I look up and it's an old man. He goes, I was sitting here to say something to you. And I go, what? He goes, don't beat yourself up and get depressed over things you can't change. And he just left. And I sat there. And at first I was like, this is why pieces should tell me what to do with my first initial. But then I'm like, it was God. Because he said, you know why? He said, I was sent here. Now, I have a question about this theory about God. And maybe, you know, you guys want to agree. But given, given that this is the day of the Vegas. Yeah. You know what you said? That's on the phone. You said this shit on the phone, right? And I'm going to argue what's standing out. Let me, let me put out the argument firstly, then you can

argue back. Go ahead and have a rebuttal. Yeah. What I'm saying is the day after a Vegas massacre where 500 people are injured, there's a Ruhinja crisis. There's Puerto Rico. There's Mexico. You told us there's all of these things. God, this omnipotent being, right? Because he is everywhere. Look down at the earth and said, you know what? Bobby needs a little bit of a pick-me-up. I'm going to get a little bit of a pick-me-up. What I'm saying is, what I'm saying is, are you, are you that fucking special to God that he didn't answer to my pleading today, but he answered to yours? Okay, can I just say this? Okay, rebuttal. Fucking, you fucking creature of the night, you.

All right, creature of the night. I am a, I'm a daughter of a. Yeah. Let me say this. Okay. Richard. The, the, the, the word that you said. The God delusion. The word that you said that rang true with me is omnipotent. Omnipotent. I said omnipotent, but it's omnipotent. A definition, a definition. It was, I was doing it the Filipino way. Omnipotent. Just power, like so much power. You can do anything. Okay. Um, I think God knows. God, you said it. I think God knows. Okay. Sorry. Damn. Okay. I'm just going to forget you just did that because I'm trying to make a point. Yeah. Okay. Is that there's people have different degrees of problems. Okay. And yes, the degree of what I experienced was not even in the same

dimension of Vegas. I get it. It's not even a problem really. Okay. But for some reason, it bothered me and I was depressed about it. Okay. I feel like God works at different levels because he can do everything. So although in terms of degree of my problem, losing a family family member in Vegas is a billion times more devastating than what I went through. Okay. But I believe that God, if there is one, can deal with every situation. Right. And it was a harsh reminder to me about Vegas when he said that because it was beyond, I thought to myself, you know, you're right. And oh, fuck Vegas. Oh, and Tom Petty and all these things. Right. Yeah, go ahead. I have a rebuttal. Yeah. Um, but what is so wrong in why when good things happen,

do you have to automatically give credit to the omnipotent guy when why can't you give a little bit of credit to that human? Because sometimes you can give credit to a human and say, you know what, let's suppose that guy was absolutely an atheist. Let's say he thinks like me and he's like, you know what, that guy looks a little bit down and I'm going to talk. So you still, you still think that that's God's doing versus a man just trying to be a good guy. Yep. I'll tell you why he was sent. He's a mess. No, I'll tell you why though. Yeah. Because I use drugs and alcohol every single day and I could not stop on my own. I did everything in the book and I've tried it twice. Okay. I literally went, I can't stop. I'm dead.

I'm fucked. I'm going to die. I can't do it. And when I went to treatment, they said only God can remove your obsession. It says that in the book. So I got on my hands and knees and I pray, please God remove this obsession. And then I had a spiritual awakening and the next day I never thought about it again. What does that spiritual awakening look like, feel like? Like there has to be a look. I want to be able to relate. Because I honestly believed that there was a God. I literally felt it when you believe it. And you believe that he took this obsession away. Now, whether that's real or not real, isn't the question. Here's what I do know. If I don't believe in it, I'm going to use again. Yeah. No, I want you to believe in whatever you

want me to shoot heroin. Bitch, you want me to shoot heroin and die? If that's your intention, then keep talking the way you're talking. That's how, that's where I know for a fact you're an addict. Here's me just trying to make sense of your whole, you know, a man coming up to you. I'm listening. I'm listening to this. Gilbert goes to church and he's a believer. So he's on your side. I'm on a new spiritual. Yeah. He's on a spiritual journey. We have these conversations a lot. But I also think that it's okay to have these conversations and I don't need to like absolutely believe in what you believe in order to like function with you as a partner. You're not that deep, baby. I'm not. Maybe I'm not that deep.

Has he seen God Delusion? I read the God Delusion. It's very interesting. I love it. I watched it. Yeah. Rich Dawkins. Amazing. I watch all his YouTube shit. I love when he slams because the God that I have isn't religion. It isn't Jesus. It isn't, you know, a Western religion kind of a thing. I think he mostly slams like indoctrination of like really young children and very like, like radical like religion. He's, he, I think in the beginning of his book, he says that if people, there was like, he pulled out like a phrase that says like, if people were just reasonable about how reasonable about their belief in God and didn't go to like, you know, religious extremes, like the world will just be like a much better place. I don't, I believe in, I believe in some

sort of a positive energy of love. And, you know, just, I just do believe that I'm, that we're all connected by energy and there is something out there. I don't know what it is, but that everything happens for a reason. And I'm just, I'm in the right path. This is the path that I'm living. George, you grew up seven day events. Yeah. I know that you've sort of, you know, you don't live according to those like stringent rules or whatever, but you still believe in God. Kind of, I don't know. When you go home, do you tell your parents that you believe in God? I don't talk about it. Do you partake in all things like doing a prayer and doing things like that with them? I, that's why it feels so weird going home when it's like all the extended

family are there. Cause like, I just don't talk at all. Cause I'm scared though, like, oh, you're working on tiger belly, then they'll look it up and listen to one thing. There'll be a swear word in the first 30 seconds and they'll be like, what is this guy doing? And then they'll pray for me. That's the problem is if I'm bad at home, I'll know my aunts and uncles are going to be praying for me for like an hour. What are they praying for? They'll also learn the word poeph and different scientific things like that. Yeah. Just for my soul. Like that's the thing. Like they'll, my great aunt, when she was alive, she'd tell me like, yeah, I'm just praying that you'll find a job out there and there'll be a good job that's like praising the Lord and not, not one of these

like entertainment industry jobs. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, this would be like the worst for her. Yeah. Because I ask you that because my family in the Philippines are very deeply Catholic. My mom, you know, still, you know, she, she finds solace in it. So when she wants to go light a candle at a church, if I go home, I do go to midnight mass with my family. I do get on my knees. I do kneel on the pews. I know I still recite all at, I sing the songs with them and stuff, but mostly I do it out of respect for, for my family because I love them and it brings them happiness and peace inside. So I do partake, but I, I keep my own, you know what I mean? It's just more of like a, that's why I ask you if you still do it out of more, maybe I do it out of

nostalgia and respect, maybe. Yeah. I'm quiet out of respect, but that's so hard. Like my brother, he's a bartender out in Hawaii. So like nobody thinks he's like in the religion still. So he can be open and everything. And, but out of respect to just not waste their time. I mean, it's so hard to like relate to anybody. Like my uncle told me, like he doesn't even listen to the radio because everything that you put in your mind is important. And he's like just his whole life is just the Bible and nothing else. That's dangerous. That's not dangerous. There's something to be said about, you know, could that guy from New Zealand, Ken, who was her intern, he said the same thing. He doesn't have social media. He's very, very careful about what he

puts inside his brain. Yeah. And he likes to police that because he thinks that the brain is a very like malleable thing and it can, it can turn on you. It can turn on other people. And so he likes to regulate. I'm the opposite. My, my brain is a campus and I'm Jackson Pollock. All kinds of porn, video games, garbage. Guys talking to Starbucks. Let me say this. When I was a kid, I was 17 and when I was in AA, I used to go to this place called Mount Soledad Men's. It was a men's meeting. Okay. Okay. And so when I was a junior in high school, every Saturday morning, I would have to drive to a bakery, pick up a cake to drive on an hour to get to this mountain hill. And I would set up the cake and 300 men would show up at like eight

in the morning at three in the morning. And we'd have this meeting. Now I saw a homeless guy come in once and he sat there and he's like, I have no money. I have nothing. I live on the streets. I'm no family. Nothing. And my sponsor said to him, you know, if you follow the steps, if you, you know, do this religiously, I promise you your life will change. 10 years later, you know, the guy had two kids, a house, a car, you know, a wife. His life was good. I saw him go from homelessness to having a really pretty big life. Okay. Now, whether that's, whether that's real or not real, I can't afford to think that way because I know that that's happens all the fucking time in this program that I belong to. So the proof is

in the pudding, in my opinion. So if I, and the people that, the people that can't get it and are constantly like, I have a lot of friends out there that are constantly out there and can't get sober or the ones that can't get that concept. And it says it in the book, there are people that can't get this concept and you people, I'm sorry, but it's not going to happen. And so I'm lucky that I can accept this concept. No, there is something to be said about that. And I think I was telling you that, you know, I do think, and I don't know if there are any studies out there, I really do think that there's probably a higher case of like anxiety and depression for people who, who don't have this radical acceptance of a God. I think that, that there's, there's

an angst there because I don't, I don't have anything to, I don't believe in anything. I don't feel like anything is my salvation except for my own hands, right? And so when I don't have that idea of you have no control and there's, this is your destiny. This was written out for you. There's a God who's like kind of micromanaging every part of your life and this is how it's supposed to be. I don't have that. I don't think like that. So I do, I think carry a lot more anxiety. And when I go, when I talk to my therapist about it, they do teach you that radical acceptance is going to lessen your strife in your life and the feeling of angst and anxiety overall. But whatever that radical acceptance is, and is for you, it's the fact that this God took away, this God took away

your, your addiction and that there's a control, there's a mission control. And I do, I do do an internal dialogue when things are bad. And I go, I remember, I just know in moments in my life where I went, help me, help me God through this. God, I kind of, maybe I, you know, and, and, and it, it makes me, I've survived from that. It makes my life as happy as I can be. It takes the problems outside of yourself a little bit. Yeah. And that's the truth for me. And I can't afford. So when that man today at Starbucks said that, you know, and I went up to another cast member, an older one, and I said, it's so weird, this happened. And she goes, I didn't even know, but she goes, oh, you just got a God shot, which is a terminology. And I go, are you in the program?

She goes in the Al-Anon. So, I mean, and then there's like, Oh my God, she's in it. You know, I mean, it's all, it could all be a lion bullshit, but if it makes you feel good, but I do believe it as that's the crazy thing is I really do believe it. Yeah. And I don't know why, because I'm so fucked up. No, God shots real. Okay. I totally. Because you opened my mind. She told me to like look at the God delusion stuff. So I started reading into some of Richard, his Hawkins, is it Hawkins? Dawkins. Dawkins and his stuff is, he's crazy the way he talks to people in his debates. I mean, George, we're talking about this. What do you guys think in terms of like the the beginning of everything? Like, do you believe in a creator? It all started or was it from like

the Darwin evolution RNA synthesis, which is, which is basically life is created by a strand of RNA that turned into DNA. It's like the smallest form of which can be recreated in a lab. It started with hydrothermal vents. And that's what this is what I believe in. This is how I believe animals came. I'm not a crap. I don't know. You're your creationist. I don't know. I don't either. I believe in the Big Bang or whatever. They say Big Bang, I'll do Big Bang, Big Bang theory. So I was just curious. So what is that though? Is that like just is a smallest form of? Well, in space, there was an explosion where all life and time was encapsulated in a pill in a seed. And there was black holes and real light, right? And when they combine with atmosphere, it creates life. It created the big

the stars and it created planets. And then all of a sudden what she said, was it? RNA synthesis. I do thermal vents. And for vents happen. Yeah. And all that. Yeah. I don't believe real life. But you know, some people will be like, well, can you believe it? The God or but like my thing is so who what is I'm trying to figure what that is. Who put it there? If there is like a the idea of a create. Does it need anything? I don't I don't think you know what it is. When you wake up, you know, it's crazy. Yeah. This is real. And this is the realest thing I've ever said in my in the on this podcast. Okay. When I walk like downtown little Tokyo, for instance, and I'll look at the sidewalk, the buildings, the neon lights. We man created all this, right?

But I look at it in wonder. Like this is amazing that we were able to create these cars. Yeah. And there's a society with these all these weird rules. And then there's light, you know what I mean? And I look at it like it's a mystery. But I look at it in awe. Right? Like this is amazing. And then you look at the animal and just how the world is, even with the bad stuff, the wars and all stuff. It's awesome. And that feeling of being overwhelmed by this awesomeness, because I don't know how anything works. Right. So it's like, I have all these questions like how did how what you know, and in the idea of that awesomeness, that feeling of like respecting it and going, this is cool that I'm alive. And I'm here in the middle of it. I'm a

part of it. Threw me into a panic. Right. All right. And that feeling of awe is God. Okay. Where I don't have to understand it. Right. I just I'm just experiencing it. Yeah. Okay. We should we should call somebody. I think we should break up the fucking monotony of this religious talk because I didn't know what some tiger bellies, some tiger bellies are like this. You know, people are listening right now. They might be turning out. We want to hear about pooses and dicks. Nah. Nah. Sometimes, you know, you talk about Vegas, talk about God and vans. We've got shots. We've got shots. Yeah. But, um, you know, a problem is a problem. Okay. It is. You're right. And, and, and, you know, the degrees are different. So I don't feel guilt. There is a little bit of

like, what are you fucking, fucking, you know, thinking, but, you know, I had, I was embarrassing. I was in a situation and a man probably just overheard me talking to myself and said that whatever he said. And then I took it in a weird way. Who cares? But you spend it, you, you spun it into something positive, which is great. He's not Kaiser Soze. Oh God, here we go. You know, you have not Elon Musk. Oh, I'm so glad you know who he is now. Which happens so five, six, when we called Roger on the phone. You know how he didn't know who Elon Musk was? Remember that time? I remember and I remember you humiliated me in front of hundreds of people. You attempted to humiliate me because I didn't know who Kaiser Soze was. Yeah. Remember? I mean, we took the

survey of the Elon Musk and the Kaiser Soze. Elon Musk, right? I mean, I would fucking hope so. Jesus Christ. Also, people saw Office Space. What? What are you bringing up Office Space for? Can we take him back? Whoa, wait, he's not. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Office Space. What's Office Space? With Kevin Spacey. Kevin Spacey. No, Kevin Spacey. David Spacey. Wait. David Spacey? I'm confused now. David Spacey? No, no, no. David Spacey. Tell me right now. No, no, forget it. Kevin Spacey. But it's a wrong movie. Why am I thinking of Kevin Spacey, though? It is. He's in the book. What movie am I thinking of? Unusual Suspects. Oh, why am I thinking of no, no, no, no, no, no, because you know why, you know why you are?

I'm stupid. There was scenes, a scene in there where it was Kaiser Soze and the detective, right? Yeah. And Kaiser Soze was through, through the whole movie is looking at little notes on the wall and different, yeah, and different, and different things. And he was making up this whole, the whole movie was basically him sitting there making this story up. Because at the end, he's Kaiser Soze. Okay. So that's why. That makes sense. Throwback. I missed those days. I know that I have another question. What the fuck is happening with your ankles? You look like you were tied on both ankles. Yeah, because when I watched the Vietnam documentary, I wanted to feel like it would have been with John McCain. What John McCain went through. No. So I tied myself

with bamboo strings. Oh, God. No, this was right here. My, my ankles all fucked because I was shooting last week. And the wardrobe gave me these leather shoes. And they were the tall ones, but I didn't wear any socks. I hate socks. And it, the leather dug into my fucking flesh. Oh, yes, that's that. Yeah. Hey, yeah. I was really thinking that we should take a trip to Australia. What about Vietnam? No, I mean, like as a podcast that we should do shows out there. I think we should do a lot of things. But hold on one second, because I got finally got confirmation that I'm no longer on someone's hit list in Australia. Bain, Bain, Australian Bain. Should we call Australia in vain? Not right now. No. Are you guys friendly? I've never talked to him

right now. How about this? Would it be hostile? No, he wouldn't be hostile. The next time we do it, the next time we do it, we'll talk to Australian Bain. Really? What would we say? Hey, do you want to kill me? I don't know what the fuck they talk about. That's but whatever. Do you have a question or no? How long has it been? Oh, right now? Like an hour? Has this been a very depressing podcast? Is this not the usual Tiger Belly brand? This is pretty odd. Given the news this week, it's hard to be funny. It's hard to feel funny. I don't think it should be any more laughing. Should we do something? Bobby, go fart on the mic or something. Oh, he did that 10 times already. I did it. So tell me the thing. Unhelpful advice with Bobby at Calyla and George.

Ready? Yeah. Hi guys. So same sex marriage is still prohibited here in Australia. It's been quite an issue for some time now. My cousin feels strongly about this. She's straight and quite recently tried to address it in a Filipino family thread. Mind you, there are some hardcore born against in that chat. She opened the message with, Hey guys, let's talk about same sex marriage. I told her in a separate inbox that these issues are personal and inappropriate for such an open discussion. I'm not included in that family thread. But the next day, the same cousin sends me a private message complaining about specific family members views and pretty much outing them to me, even though she was the one that wanted the open discussion to begin with.

And that drove me absolutely crazy. Is she wrong for doing this? And do you guys believe in trying to advocate certain ideas to people set in their ways? Or is it why, or is it why they say to never discuss politics, religion and money on the dinner table? I just want to let you guys know that I do believe that everybody has a right to equality as well. You cannot halt progression. Boom. Okay. I realized that watching the Vietnam War. I really did. I don't think that was no, but no, listen, no, listen, my point, gay marriage, the acceptance of transgender, all these things that are like hot topic, fucking cultural issues are always going to lean toward the progressive way of thinking because it's just the way life works. People evolve and things just

become right. Like one day we're going to be the singularity movements going to happen. Machines are going to awaken and we're going to have a war with sky. That's inevitable. Skynet. You cannot stop it. And so yeah, I believe in gay marriage because that's just a progressive way of looking at it. That that absolutely was not even a question. They believe in it to the person writing it. That's what I'm saying. But the other people, no, no, no, is it right for, let's say, for instance, I send a mass text to you, your parents, my parents, my sister, your brother. Hey guys, let's talk about gay marriage knowing that the, there are some people in that group text that might be a little bit more rigid about their

beliefs on gay marriage. It's like saying George now who's living in LA, living this life starts this massive family group chat. And it's like, Hey guys, what about, you know, cursing? You know, it's all right. Is it okay to do that? Yes. I think you pick and choose your battles. I would do with my parents, but now with my grandparents. But that's very I gotta find out who is backwards, who's forwards. But in your own family setting, though, I don't feel like Hey, fuck not. Why is it when I say stuff, you could you have this huge the head tilt. Look, you don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. The head tilt, right? Why do you do that, bro? Because I don't know what you're talking about half the time.

Is that what it is? I think it was okay. Fuck not away from the question. Ask me what you do. I don't understand. You don't understand. Um, no, I think if you have a belief that's a strong belief and you want them to accept your belief, yeah, no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying this is that I want to know. I want to know. I want to know all the family members that don't believe what I believe. Okay. And that's a very close minded belief. That's what I'm saying. That's cocky, arrogant and righteous. That's not how you're going to get them to listen. I'm not going to take revenge on time. You asked me. You asked them a question to let him answer. If you have a strong belief and you want them to believe like change their belief to believe

what you believe. No, that's not what I want. Let the man. He was literally halfway through. That's not what I want. Go ahead. This is why you're going to win because I forgot what I was going to say three times already. Every time you interrupt me, you're dumb because you want everybody else to believe the same as you without being accepting of their beliefs that may be different than yours. And that's what I'm saying. That's what I said. If you have a strong belief where you want to change your family members beliefs, you need to be accepting of their beliefs some way and you have to be open to their beliefs or else you know, there's no way you're going to be able to change their beliefs. So it's a very difficult. I want a list of people in my family who don't

believe exactly the same thing you believe. I just want the list. Now what do you do? There's everything you believe exactly right today. Just listen. I want, I want to know. Okay. Right. Then I have a list, right? Like Hitler did. That's not a bad start. Wait a list of Jews or whatever you might, everyone has a list. Everyone has a list, right? And so that I know, I have it in my back pocket of who the people that live in a way that I don't live. Okay. And that's it. So that's what I, I'm saying. Why do you have the list? I have to know. Bobby, let me just say something. I actually don't think you understand the question at all. I don't think you listened. I didn't listen to it. Explain it to me. There we go. Explain it to me. Full circle. This person is asking.

Yes. Is there a time, is there a more appropriate way to do it than sending a mass text to your family? No, in person. That's the right way to do it. Why to, okay. You know how when people like, I'm not a religious person, you're not ultra religious either. When you have someone knocking in your door and telling you that Jesus is the way and to follow, do you like that? Yeah, because it's not the right way. Oh yeah. So yours is the right way to send a mass text. You know, here's what I'm saying. I'm going to make it, forget the gay marriage thing. Okay. I'm a liberal, you know, right? So let's say my family, and I believe that- Have you always been this liberal? Yes. And I- Completely. You've always believed exactly the same things that you

believe now. Yes. You've never evolved? You're a genius. I'm a genius. I just believe that every human being born is who they are. Oh, you're very close-minded. If you haven't changed your mind at all. Every time I'm uncomfortable, I'm going to kiss the baby. But just listen to what I'm saying. My beliefs have changed constantly. As I get new information, I am open to changing my beliefs. I'll let you talk. Can you let me know? He did. I'll only interrupt you two more times. So let's say right now, I want to know who in my family hates Jews. Okay. I'll do a mass text. Hey, those Jews, they're funny, huh? Did anybody like them or not? You know, whatever. The comedic styles? Yeah. No, just like as people, do you think they're equal? You know, whatever. And

if my uncle- Let's say I have an uncle Henry. You have an uncle. Yeah. I have an uncle Henry. Uncle. And you go, fuck you. You know, the money grew up in whatever they say. Money grew up. That's crazy, right? Then I go, okay, uncle Henry, right, is a racist. Okay. And I put that in my back pocket. So you're taking inventory. So the next thing I know, next thing I know is then my, then my, let's say my cousin, John, marries a Jew. Got it. And then one day she wakes up, this Jewish girl wakes up and there's a swastika on her fucking, right, on her Cadillac, like someone spray painted. And I look at my notes and I'll go, uncle Henry did it. Oh, so you want to take inventory? Yeah. That's what I meant.

But should you do that over text? Yeah. You can do it through email, you can do it through different ways of doing inventory. I need a list of things of how you feel. So in the appropriate time, I can catch the villain. Oh, so there are villains automatically? Is so if, did I understand the question right? I did. I have friends who do that where they're very like, uh, they're almost admit to me that I want the conversation. I guess everyone here admit to me that I won the cap. I interrupted you twice more. There's no way you're gonna want it. Let's just admit that then. You guys, if there's ever an example, example for narcissistic personality disorder, please listen to the last three minutes of Bobby's

rant about just winning. Here's the thing when it comes to a narcissist, they're not, especially with relationships, they're not crying because they lost you. They're crying because they lost and you're not crying because you lost the point. You're crying because you just lost. It doesn't matter. That's why you insist that to tell you that you won that argument. That's all you want is to win. No, even if it involves, let me take that back then. Retraction, retract. I'm gonna retract it. I know that everything that I'm saying right now is to be true. Okay. You may not agree with it, but I'm okay with that because I am a good person. Interesting. I will say the first part though, that could just be perspectives.

That could be perfect. What the fuck? Perspective. You never backed me up. That was the backup right there. You never backed me up. That was the backup. Oh yeah. That's right. Perspective. Just say perspective is perspective. Everything. Right. You guys, I'm so confused. I don't know. So, the lady, what's the lady? So, that's how you get help. Well, it's unhelpful advice. Unhelpful advice. So, I'm giving her unhelpful advice. I don't think that you're wrong and feeling completely annoyed with this family member because I feel like I would probably be annoyed too even though I'm a proponent for same-sex marriage. I'm sorry, lady, but I'm not annoyed. Yeah, I would be really annoyed. Get the list. Because there's just, you know, those

over-eager friends of yours who are just example, like you're planning a trip and they're like, let's, guys, let's, this is all you need to know about Cuba and they write you like three paragraphs of everything because they're so fucking like righteous and in their own world and they think that, you know, they just want to kind of brag about. You can't add and you can't add to it. Yeah, you can't even add to it at all. I think there's a time and place to do it properly and I think that you're not going to recruit the kind of sentiment that you want to recruit if you force it upon people that way. And I think that I'm going to side with George on this. Why, why, why, why? It's just a very evangelical way and I don't, I don't, I don't respond well to that.

If you force something on me and tell me that, hey, let's do this right now. If I'm eating a cheeseburger, let's say I received a text. I'm eating a burger and I'm just trying to enjoy my day. Like, look, I don't want to engage in that right now. I'm turned off by the idea of that right now or even getting into that discussion at all. So there's a time and place for that and I don't think it should be in a mass text to your family. Okay, in 2000. Okay, let me just say something. Okay. Well, he's pulling up numbers. I just pulled out. I want to make a point. Okay. God. There's also Charlie Chaplin in the bottom. In 1909 in Germany. Okay. He just had that at your head. I didn't Google it. Oh, wow. Okay. He's got this sword, baby. When Hitler was 20 years

old, right? And if they had texts back then, right? And his cousin said, hey, anybody here, you know, think Jews are a little weird, right? And Hitler was like, I do. That could have saved six million lives right then there. That list. FYI. At least I learned 1908. 1909. 20 was 20. I didn't Google anything. I didn't Google anything. Is this where we should end? Yes. Absolutely. This is the best way to end. That's how you guys, we apologize for getting for a semi morose. I'm sorry to listen to this whole podcast. I'll be real. You know what? All the stuff that I'm saying, I don't know what I'm saying. I think about what I say and I go, oh my God, I shouldn't have said that and whatnot. He never said that. The only true thing is the

poof thing I like. The poof will keep the poof. It will keep the poof. My problems today was nothing compared to that Vegas. My heart goes out to all the good guys. You're wearing a Las Vegas shirt. My heart goes out to Tom Petty and his family. My heart goes up to all the people that are really suffering right now. People from Puerto Rico. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And all the things I said today. I love when you have a bubble in your throat. Was wrong. And I just, I'm sorry if you're offended. Okay. So thanks for listening to Tiger Belly. Yeah. And you want an apology in person? Come to the LA podcast. Oh, you guys, please. We need people. Okay, sweetie, we're not going to fill that room. You know that. Let's be confident. You have to fill it, George. Me? Yeah. George,

we're not going to, George. I'll call right now. It's filled. No, we're not. You guys have to come to the LA. But why did they pay so much? Because it's a three day weekend. They can go to more than one show. They can go to anything. Five shows. You can see Burt Krasher, Bill Burr. Oh, well, then there you go. It's perfect. You can see everyone. Basically, everybody. How much is it? Hundred something. I think that starting at $99 to $170. I forgot to look it up, yeah. Also, all the cheap ones are sold out. All the cheap ones are sold out. So it means there's going to be a bunch of people watching. Yeah, but probably not for us. Okay, how many rooms, how many does this room see? We're such an insecure podcast, guys. How many rooms? How much room do we need? The gold

room. I'm not sure. Should we give out free t-shirts to the first? How many people, though? A few people. We'll hire background extras. Let me say this. Let me say this. Let me say this. Let me say this. Okay, I'm bringing some t-shirts, guys. We're very needy. Forget it. Forget it. If no one shows up, we have 20 people. We're still going to do it. That's right. And then we'll just go. You know what? We'll just go. You know what? We're not going to do this again. We're not as premium as we thought. We'll end the podcast that day. No, then we'll take them all to the sauna, you know? Yeah. Then the smaller it is, the more intimate, the more we get to know everybody. Yeah, you know what? If it's only a small amount, we should take those 10 people to dinner because

they deserve it. Yeah. How sad. Hashtag, are we reverse psychology? This isn't. This is a real concern. It is a concern. You know, and Bobby and I are very needy people in that way, so. What does he still have a ringback tone? I don't know. I like it. So it is, well, we are Friday at 9 p.m. and the. A gold room. The gold room for the LA pod fest. His story pod fest.com. Please come see us. Please. Steve. Steve. Oh, sir. What the deal? You hungry? A little bit. What's going on? I'm going to go to Korean barbecue. You want some? What are you talking about? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Can I? Of course. When I ask you, Alani can come too. Okay. She's walking curvy right now.

When she gets back, I'll just tell her to get ready. All right. That's good. Sounds good. All right, then. Well, how long are you going to be to get here? Probably no 30 minutes. Okay. Bye. Okay. LApodfest.com. You can get a Friday single day for $60 plus tax. Oh, can you? Yep. Oh, that's a good deal. So, still, yeah, that's still available. Okay. Hopefully that's available by the time this is out. All right. And then also. I'm bringing baby Pinopo with me if anyone wants to meet my child. Your long-term boyfriend has a show as well. Is that true? Who's my long-term boyfriend? Bobby Lee. Oh. Whoa. Why did you? I was like, wait, is this real life or like in an alt? Because I have many long-term

boyfriends like in my dream world. Your current long-time boyfriend you love very much? Oh, so real life. My current long-time boyfriend has a show this Saturday in Calusa Casino. So, if you guys are in the Sacramento area or would like to drive to the Sacramento area, you can go to their website and buy tickets. He's only there for one night, so don't miss him. You can go to bobbyleelive.com and I put up a link. Yep. Tiger Relay fans are all connected on Facebook to say who's going to be there, so. Oh, really? Meet other Tiger Relay fans. Do we still do shout-outs on the show? I want to do a shout-out. You do a shout-out, yes. You do a shout-out. I'll do a shout-out. I was just in Portland and it was very fun, great city,

and a bunch of you listeners, Slept Kingdom, Tokidum Dums, whatever you want to call yourself, hit me up and I got to meet a lot of you guys. You're cool. There's just one couple, an Indonesian man and a Filipino woman in Portland that hooked me up with Adidas store tickets. Thank you Stacey and Pascal. They're huge fans. They miss Bobby when you guys came to Portland. They're out of town, but they're going to come down to watch, maybe go to a comedy store or something. So thank you guys. Christina Hapa from Seattle, you guys know her. Yeah, she came down. We went to dinner with her. Also Goliath, the artist, the dildo guy. The dildo guy. Yeah, and then also 2017's Wine and Food Festival, a winner, very prestigious award from Best New Chef,

loves Bobby and Kalayla on Tiger Valley. Han Oak in Portland. The food was good. It was Korean food. And so yeah, he's Best New Chef right now. Check it out. Han Oak and the GM, Ashley, is a huge fan and her boyfriend is the one that made the Elmer's Glue Sticker. Oh, that's so cool. Yeah, it was funny. As far as we couldn't get a table, and then so Cindy asked like, oh, a table for six and she's like, oh, sorry, it's filled. And then she, I heard, I turned around, someone said, oh my gosh, are you, and then I thought it was, there's another famous person with us. I was like, oh, it's him because people have been taking pictures with him the whole time. And she goes, Gilbert. I'm just like, yes.

One person. Does that make you happy when you get recognized in front of other like famous people? Because then you're like, I'm not chopped liver over here. Yeah. And then we got to sit down and eat. So sorry to the party of six before us. Oh, I got recognized in K-Town today. It was the weirdest thing. I was just driving and I heard like George outside of my car. And then finally some guy drove by in an SUV. I was like, George, from Tiger Valley. And he took my photo through the car window. That's so cute. Then he got in an accident. That's so sweet. Sorry, Sarah Atwell, no. I have not been recognized at all. I was not. Yeah, the guy goes, Kalyla. Oh yeah, it was nice. It's me, your ex-boyfriend. Yeah.

I want my things back. I want to do a shout out and I want to do a reverse shout out. Reverse shout out. I want to do a shout out to a girl named Alexandra Perez. She wrote us a really, really nice. Her and her boyfriend listened to Tiger Belly and she wrote us a really nice email and she is suffering from some like chronic illness and stuff. Really? Yeah, but she's okay. She's okay. So shout out to you and I hope you feel better. I want to do a reverse shout out to the guy who always complains that I'm holding the mic like a penis, like a giant cock. These are like the ones that drive me crazy. Like for some reason- You're telling them how to do it. How to control worse. You should help them out. Now you're telling them how to-

I don't like being controlled or like micromanaged in that way. If I want to hold the fucking mic like a giant cock, I'm going to hold the mic like a giant cock. And she's also just used to that because that's how big Bobby's cock is. Yeah. I mean, it's just practice. You're making fun of me. No, I'm not. I'm not making fun of you. Gilbert did. He was being sarcasm's babe. I also have a small penis. That's okay. So yeah, the next episode, in honor of him and my reverse shout out, I'm going to fucking hold it like a whole time. And we'll all be doing it. That's in honor of you. We're taking a knee. Yeah. The more you tell me not to do something, the more I will absolutely do it. Just despite you. I don't even know you, but reverse shout out to you. To that person.

Yeah. George, where can anyone send any packages to us? Oh, I don't even remember anymore. 1626 Northwood Cox number 161, Hollywood, California 900. Oh, which one is it? Two eight. Two eight. Cool. Come here, Gugimon. And also make sure you follow us on Instagram at Tiger Belly, on Twitter at TheTigerbelly, and email us any questions or concerns at thetigerbellyatgmail.com. Make sure you go on iTunes. You subscribe to us on there. And also leave us a comment. If you're still listening now, please leave us a review. Leave us a review. You're one of them. Just do what? The real fans, if you're still listening. Yeah, get us in the top 10. You know, make it happen. Also, listen to us on All Things Comedy and also Spotify if you're into that

streaming service. Yeah. Anything else? Cool. Follow Clila, Clamity K, George, whatever, and everything else on populila.com. Bye, guys. Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Tiger Belly ad free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com.