TigerBelly - Episode 125: Dante Chang Renegotiates

Episode Date: January 17, 2018

Bobo and Dante hold hands. Khaloko loves ogres. Gilbo is hungry. We talk park scuffles, defectors, and our beloved Tom Hanks.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. Wondery Plus Day after MLK day Was it this is so racist that it feels racist do well you got power you know, but you know, it's fucking urban Bobby in the house Yeah, raise the roof and all that shit. What's up dog, right? Cool. It's a cat We got RTR Raise the roof. I already said that no, oh, what else you got who let the dogs out to the left, bro

To the left to the left What what the right? Okay, what's to the right? We don't know. We don't know Beyonce. Is it Beyonce? That's right I even got that shit right to my peeps. Oh my god MLK in the anyway. Um, what's up? Welcome? Tiger belly. Um, we got George. Um, we got George Kimmel. We got Gilbert Galangry. Oh, well, and then we got Kaleila and we got white Just white, right? And then yeah, but you know, um, I've been trying to find we try to get Tiffany Hattish because you know

It's MLK just listen It's MLK at day and we try to get Tiffany Hattish and I couldn't get a hold of her Leslie Jones is out of town. I try to get Um, Ian Edwards on the line. Jack Knight. Yeah, couldn't get any African-Americans. So I um, I Asked the closest thing that I could find Dante Chang You're the closest one, thank you, I knew I knew that was the case because you called me like one 30 Yeah, yeah, I was desperate wrong

I know. Yeah, I was just like who who and then his his fat face entered my mind. I go Dante Chang Let me tell you something about this guy right here, man You're from DC, correct? Yes, sir. I you know here out of all the Asian comedians He's the one that truly Follows the Korean culture to a tee. He's very respectful. He calls me Hyeong, which is older brother and He's always it's it just feels Respectful and I feel a sense of pride when I'm with him. Oh, you know, I don't know if he's Asian or black I don't know what he is

Chang would be a good indicator. Yeah, but you're Korean Korean, but Chang's Korean Yeah, Chang is Korean. No, my family's from North and they escaped in China and I think What my family's from North? I've never met no un-mother-fucking North Korean in my life It's like meeting an Eskimo Exist what's coming next? Well, you're your family's from what families from North Korea? Wow But they're like Mexicans, too. They escaped. Yeah, they escaped. They're defectors then. Yeah, my wife too. My wife's family, too What? So you're what your grandparents? Yeah, grandparents. They were different. They sound different, too

They don't sound like regular Korean people. Like, you know, like Like give me an example, like, you know, like you used to I say onion has to go in a regular Korean That's similar, but with the one that stands out to most as well You know when you call your parents, you're like, you're like, oh my like way. They're like, oh my like wow Wow Oh, yeah, it's a Soviet twang to it. Yeah. Wow Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is a slight differences and people Korean people they hear me talking to you sound most Korean when you speak Korean Yeah, yeah, but you don't sound Korean when you speak English

Yeah, you have the strategy, but that when does that when did that happen? I think I don't know. I just a lot of smoking A lot of black influence, maybe. Yeah, yeah, you grew up in Detroit and Detroit Wait, I have a question there since your family were defectors Do you I recently read that there's like a Like 10% of all the people that have defected want to go back Fuck no, have you heard have you heard this where it's like even the people who have because I guess like South Koreans Stigmatize them by the time they're and they can't like acclimate to like the culture and I think we're no matter How hard it is where you grow up?

visually tell a difference No, no, no, just lie your ass off. You from North. Nah South but you sound nah that I just sound like that There's even like a self-made man who is like well-to-do now who lives in South Korea South Korea who defected and Wants to go back still that's dumb. I don't think so. Yeah It's more of like a nostalgia thing like my family's still there cuz a lot of them didn't come with her family Somebody got paid to make that shit up. I have to I don't know Yeah, I know why I didn't make this stuff. I sort of got I read this, you know, North Korea gets a batter out by the way

Well, no, I'm gonna throw that out. They brought it up for themselves But have you ever been there I have beautiful really nice. Just listen. Okay, just listen to me. All right. It's beautiful I went I went okay these gigantic green mountains. Okay? Crisp blue skies imagine right these little yellow mons of dead bodies. It's beautiful. Okay, I just want to do that Just do that. You know, man. I know I got a crazy story about North Korea No, oh, yeah, on state way well food will quick on stage that works, but here in this room. It fucking died On stage it works here in the room. It fucking bomb I was a North Korean ballistic missile, babe. It bombed so hard. Well, you have to edit that out

That's how bad I can't have that fell. I just ate it in my own fucking shit Tell me about North Korea my friend. So this is the story I have like so my mom goes to church in Virginia Korean church and there's these missionaries from our church that went to North Korea They've you know spread the word of Jesus, right? Yeah, they got caught right got imprisoned. He said good And they got they got they got caught. They're basically like if you don't pay this fine in three days We're gonna put all you guys to death, right? Oh my god And the guy wrote a letter to the church. Don't worry about me if it's my fate you guys don't have to pay the money Do you know how much them do you know how much it was just take a guess how much it was and I got grand

You're the only one that most people guess like 200,000. It was 3,500 bucks You better pay this shit. Wow. Oh, you know, I'll tell you why I know it's cuz in the Philippines You could get away with fucking murder for a hundred dollars. So it's a third-world country, right? So I know the exchange rate stop stop stop what I'm being real. Can I just be real with you? Yeah, if I'm in the Philippines, let me and Cheng Dante on the Philippines. Okay, we're hanging out on the beach and He's like tanning, right? Yeah, don't just tanning I'm tanning next to you, right holding and I look no, we're not holding hands. That's fucking gay

Yeah, no, I'm not holding hands. It's okay to hold hands I'm holding his hand and I look over and I just go hmm. I just want to chop him half with a machete And just pull up a machete and I just chop him in half on the beach That's a broad fucking daylight. I know but what would have Would I okay? I mean now I'm arrested Okay, and I go hey, I'll pay you guys a million dollars. Can I get off? There's a good chance that somebody will at least allow you back or allow you out of the country To hide somewhere else. That's just how third-world countries

We'll wait. I would in America. So if I kill another America American in the Philippines That would is that if I could I get arrested in the United States? No, you would you're subject to the laws of the land always So you are subject to the judicial system of the Philippines Just try to figure out how to kill Chang without fucking For example, for example, right my uncle in broad daylight Severed my other uncle's spinal cord slashed him gashed him in broad daylight And he got 12 years, which is pretty fucking good for a murderer

That's pretty good with so many witnesses and he he admitted to the crime You know and he didn't get life. He was like, you know what? We're gonna give you 12 years. Well, he didn't kill him. So he did kill him. No, he killed him. He died 12 years is a lot for a slice paper cut RIP to my uncle Nilo, by the way, that's really sad story. No RIP to my dead uncle. I met him, too You didn't yeah, I met the murderer. I'm at the ghost of your fucking uncle No, he I met his the murderer. Yeah, he's nice. He's really nice But also at the same time, I was scared you should be because I knew the story

So I just kind of kept my distance. That's a lot You know, like you always say like Korean families have that chip in their head where it's like the rage comes out out of nowhere Yeah, I think that my uncle has the same thing where it's like he's the nicest most like the chillest dude ever But something just switches when he's angry and he just starts like Yeah, it's really scary a lot of Asian people. Yeah, really you have that you have that kind of rage used to what happened Start just getting older. Yeah Karma, you know you didn't you learn about karma. They're like, you know what has karma hit you bad Really bad like I've done so much bad. I was horrible. Well, okay. What is the worst thing you did?

Man, I guess I get real get real Attempted murder charge. Oh, that's really real. I love it. What happened? Basically, uh My friends got caught got in a beef with somebody he was terrified at this guy Can I just need to know the race of the person? Okay, the victim was Hispanic this guy that told me was black. He told me and for the black dudes This guy is gonna come in your house Rob your families because we're all selling drugs. Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna rob your families kill you Do all this great and take all your money do all this stuff

So we're like, oh, we have to react because we can't let him do this We went right to his house beat him basically have to death like yeah, we shattered his kneecap or fractured his skull You're there yeah, I was there and did you have a weapon? No, I just took a we just be with like bats. Did you have a weapon that we use like a no We didn't know what did you do? We just beat the shit out of you I just fist sending your feet, but I use the toilet seat Oh, there we go. That's what I want to get to use the toilet. See use that Very very Korean toilet seat or dried sea squid

From the thing I use that My dad did yeah, so so yeah, and then the cool thing was you didn't feel bad. This the cool stuff because the person lied We deserved it. There's no problem It was all made up because he was scared of that guy Oh, he just made all this stuff up. Yeah, so the guy and the credit is the crazy part the guy that told me that He told he snitched on us to the police. Oh, wow, so he kind of just set up everybody like he was just he was just a Dark dude, and I'm guessing you were extremely young and 17. Oh my god. Yeah, wow 17 I was up to some bullshit at 17. Yeah, you just believe everything you hear. Yeah

You're looking for that drama at that age because you have all these like pent up teenage angst confusion. Yeah, very confused But when did that stop though that kind of behavior? I don't know. I mean it kind of honestly to be honest It trickled a little bit when I moved out here to just get away from all that stuff get away from that life And then I kind of got into a few scuffles with our median people because I never met anyone They were so prideful. I'm like, dude, you I've been there. I've been shot at I've been shot. I've been stabbed So look, um, don't I mean don't go listening to pocket. Think you're tough. I don't think I'm tough Yeah, but I'm good. I think I'm tougher than you though So it's so I had to I got into it a few but after a while you say just let people be like that's just who you are

Let me what you live in Glendale or something. I mean, where's your basketball court? Oh, I remember getting found I'm like broken you stop following me like bro. Just what are you gonna do about it, bro? It's okay And I just start you know because Korea because they did never met a Korean like it were both were both very you know Yeah, but Korea's no Koreans are different Korean no Koreans and Armenians are similar in the sense that they roll deep and they're very proud They're proud people, you know, yeah, I guess so the Koreans will really hurt you Minions are almost they have that the loud bark. Yeah, you know, but it's easy. No, I mean, you're tough, too Just come on easy easy. We have Tripoli. We got some people

You know, like every time like you actually from my experience every time I bark and they see my bark, they'll Wait a minute. Let me just let me just get back and let me just settle down because yeah, so that's I don't I don't see that I don't see that Saturday. I see I see a soft Very just naturally funny looking funny Korean dude, that's what I think I am on the inside. No, that's what you are That's what I want to be. Yeah, that's why I'm now. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm happy to be there. Don't fucking do shit like that no more Nobody when he moved to LA right yet, there's no Armenians in fucking DC I'll say 16 17 years ago. Yeah, that's a scuffle in a basketball court. That's nothing. Okay. All right. I'm just

It's like my child. I get concerned. Yeah, you've never been in an like physical altercation. Oh, I have I know Yeah, you up, but that's that's my you ever square up is what I'm saying. Yeah, and I get beat up Yeah, I have no it doesn't matter in that situation I think I'm so sensitive that I just like Like I'll try to punch them, but I'll block You know me so my heads I'm gonna punch it, but then I go hey, yeah, and do a blog I was in a defense right and then they punched me in the face after I block after I put block So I'm not good at my timings wrong. Wait. Do you block while you punch?

No, they'll punch me then I'll block So punch in the face block kick, but they're already gone Because I'm already in the ground. I kick when I'm on the ground. I see I see I'm on my back kicking But they're already laughing and running away. You know, I mean, I'm not a fighter really and I yeah I told you about that fucking fight in high school, right? When my brother's friend David Oliver his older brother was a kind of a band geek and I used to like His he used to have like an apple in his hand on the bus and I used to smack it out of his hand Oh, you're the bully. Yeah, I used to fucking like just throw rocks at his face

He's a common nerd and one day this guy goes Meet me at some like there's with this like empty lot by my house meet me at that lot and he invited everyone in my neighborhood and and My brother shows up because my brother was backing me up and there was like hundreds of kids there and they firm a Circle and I go, oh my god I'm gonna beat the shit out of this guy, right and I walk up to him and I don't even I was gonna say it's like I had some things I was say like announcements. Yeah, bitch or whatever. I don't back in the dad

But as soon as I open my mouth, he punched me in the face And then I try you know, I do swings like girl swings like this, right? Then he kicked me in the stomach I fell over I got enough enough and then my mom pulled up and she goes and My brother was so he wouldn't talk to me for a year Steve. I was He was a nerd Like a band gate nerd. He beat the shit out of me. He deserved it

And I ever since then I'm like, I'm not doing this anymore. Fine. I'm a pussy. I'm a week You know what? I you know, I'll be honest with you if I lived in a Tribe with a bunch of Indians. I would be the gatherer Don't you you can go hunt, you know, I will make moccasins You will you and I would make some fucking good-ass moccasins. Don't you think? Yeah, I think I'd collect the things the thread What do you get? How do you get make those? I don't know how you moccasins leather. Well, we'll ask our husbands Can you save us some of the leather you mean from the your hunt, please, right? And then we you know, then they fuck us in the ass. Okay, just don't they just for hear me out in this scenario

I know we're gatherers. Okay, right and we're next to each other and when we look at each other We're getting fucked in the ass we giggle. Why are you guys? I don't know you would giggle. I would cry Really? I would cry. Yeah, I would cry because you were giggling No, I'll you would crack as I was giggling. Maybe yeah. Yeah, and then afterwards we have the leather and then we make the moccasins Wow No, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll go with it Are you making moccasins just for yourselves or for the community? Oh, we do for the community for yeah baskets, whatever you guys need Baskets will make basket right some baskets for washings. Whatever. Yeah, what it's against where you have to be agreeable

You can go fuck you. I'm not gonna get fucked in the ass No, I don't think I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that part everything else. I'm down for when did you start doing stand-up? Oh, I met you two three weeks in for like about four more like four years ago. How's are you? 38 You started at 38 34 34. Oh, yeah, because I then I met you in DC. No, this is the cool thing This is okay. How do we meet? Yeah, I saw you at the comic store said how introduced myself Um, and then you told me you asked me where I was from then you you said I will I will put you at the DC I'm gonna put you up at the DC improv. You just made me you just you just said that to me

We're only enough. We were both in town and he put me up on a show. Well, so that's how you took me to the Korean restaurant Yeah, yeah, it sucks what that the Korean restaurants. Well, I don't cook it I understand that but I think you framed it like this is the best Korean food But you know what it was late and you know your options start getting really limited Yeah, you're then you're right in that in that scenario. You're right. It's either that or Denny's so, you know That over Denny's to me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're such a nice guy He picked me up with his wife They remember I remember having your little dog there a little white dog. You still have that guy

Yeah, what's his name do be do be and they drove me to Virginia Wow late at night and we had Korean food You're funny though. You're like there's something about you. That's that I can see Working in Hollywood. I don't say that a lot about people, but I don't think that you would you could play a lawyer You mean or a dog Most Asian characters are those characters. They're not ever like Right, but do I know like the Asian dudes not too many but like a guy that like, you know

Let's say I was in Hawaii. There's a movie about Hawaii Yeah, and he needs some you know diamonds to be like, you know to convert them into money You're the guy to see baby. What does that roll come up? You don't audition a lot not too much not too much people always try to get me to do stuff But I'm just so into stand-up, you know, I do open mics three open mics at night You know, I do my run my shop deal do mics. That's it where people want to go hang out I just want to go home and write and then try to just Focus real you're real. I just care about calm. I don't really care about

Fain too much. Just want to give me funny. How and why did you get into it? I just crazy story. So, um, and this is so I always wanted to make people laugh and then I'm so with my grandfather was passing, right? Uh, they said he had two months to live and they see now. They say laughter extends your life So I kept making him laugh every second. I could he ended up living like 14 months Because of your comedy, I would hope to think Comedy is that good. I would do anything like yeah, I literally like played with like this old black dudes Like flick this black dudes penis that was sleeping next to him to make it I would do anything. Oh, right. Oh, that's cute. So I'm not sure if it worked. I'm not gonna say it did

I don't know. Yeah, just in case it did. Maybe I could do that for somebody else if I really work on I won't even know if I if I did it, but if I get funny enough, maybe Yeah, he died in America. Yeah, he died in America age 90 90 Was it heartbreaking it was sad he pretty much he was the biggest male influence in my life So would no papa. Well, he wasn't around. He had me young. That's why I related really with the black kids You know what I mean? Like he was he was he was because you were abandoned kind of yet My my my parents my parents my birth parents had me really young. So my dad's sister raised me So she's like mom, you know, they kind of went off and did their own thing. They partied. They were young, you know

Oh, so you had Korean parents Mm-hmm that partied yeah in America. Yeah, they were partying They were good. They were he was very young and irresponsible Would you say there's a distinct difference between the Korean the Koreans in DC or Virginia versus the Koreans in LA? I think I don't really seem too much of that. I didn't know too many back there only the ones done I knew were the ones in church You know, like my mom forced me to go to Korean church because I hear there are a lot of Koreans in Virginia There's a lot. Yeah, there are a lot. Yeah

Didn't know you hung out with them a lot of black kids and stuff that did they give you nicknames? I Was who ever the most relevant Asian person was so it changed like a year like Whatever like oh look at mr. Miyagi Mr. Fuji that jelly fat jelly was a fat jelly. So yeah, I became you in high school All right, man TV was the most relevant Asian dude We ever dr. Ken I haven't got not not yet. Yeah That feels real good

So 34 you you decided okay, you know, I'm gonna try it out and go go to an open mic Yeah, first of all Mike The club booked me that day and then I got booked twice today But one was a bringer they're just trying to use me. Yeah, one person genuinely thought I think you're funny And let me help you and you know, he reminds me of Peter. You're the gay Peter Peter Kim. Yeah, it just I got it Here's the thing is is that I Don't want to say it doesn't in this way. So I'm not gonna teach when I see some Asian comics There is a about my body

Sometimes reacts in a very negative kind of a way When they're too when I don't when they're too fobby or Stereotypical I just end up closing down and I begin hating them. Oh Hey, yeah, but I do because at the end of the day To my odd suki came up to me, you know, she was like one of the first she was very fobby But to my odd suki used to date Sam Kinnison. She she wore kimono on stage is a pre she

Margaret shell and She said to me she goes on Bobby make sure That you make us look good. Don't make us look bad. I go. What do you mean? It's just there are ways to tell your joke in a positive light right for Asians and I go. Oh, so I just started started thinking in that way Because I'd never wanted to be a

Fobby for some reason. I don't think I am naturally if I was born pretty cool What why do you keep saying the word fobby like what is the fucking fob? I'm just it like I don't understand what fobby is to you. I'll tell you what it's okay fun You know fun joint. Yeah, actually, I love that. I know because he to me Fung what's his name? You know what a feng shui? Yeah, yeah, there's this Asian guy in that the conversation in feng chow. Yeah, okay He has a thick accent. Yeah, he's got tattoos. He's not fobby even though He's not American born even though he has an accent. There's just something like

Yakuza about him. That's cool. And his accent keeps getting better and better like every time I see You more Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is true, right before is about I told him that he's Bobby now. He's you can see Bobby. Yeah Yeah, but he's cool. He So that's not what I mean if somebody was born in Asia or here when I say fobby it means that they just seems so traditionally Asian and and it's okay for the world

It's great for the world because we need them but in terms of representing us on television and stuff I don't like it because I Grew up with stereotypes, you know, so it's like, you know, I wasn't good at grades and then, you know, your teacher would look at you Like this this guy retarded No, I'm just a human being who I don't want to do it

I smoke pot and I'm a fuck yeah, but they thought because of these stereotypes that I would be able to kill it Yeah, right and I can't I just go to school like people try to sit next to you Yeah, yeah, they try to cheat off me and then we all get up. Yeah, yeah, we're getting at yeah So it's like, you know, I I'm just not Traditional so I when I see guys like you that it's a little like when you when he first I first met you I'm like What the fuck is this? Yeah, I like it It's different. Hmm. Peter. You know, he's gay and he just talks about calm You know me and I go I like it

No, he just talks about black calm and I got love it, you know, when I run into like even like, you know Here's a great example of it. We've had um, what's her name on this show? Aquafina She's he's like that in that way of just kind of being American almost and Almost no, no, no, no, no America no American and 100% but in just in terms of Just reflecting a side of you know Culture that I like seeing is basically I'm giving them best

Compliment why you seem so disappointed, right? Thank you for digging so deep I appreciate that. I don't know. I appreciate it because I think Most Asians are traditionally they go towards the Caucasian You know, yeah, and they're usually brought up around Caucasian Asian people They get there to get the little dry cleaners and little stores and they you work hard They just move to the suburbs. Yeah, you know, my family was so cheap They're like we're gonna have three families in a home and just gonna stay in the hood Oh, yeah, they buy the result like we're poor. It's just they're just so cheap North Korean

They just my mom wears $5 shirts Yeah, they eat nothing, but like what your your mom's from there then too. She has a kid I think she was she grew up in China Grandfather escaped and then she grew up in China. So that's where the chain came from then. Yeah, I think so, right? It's not Korean Chang. Yeah, I know So is that what you had in common with your wife when you guys first met like hey, both her families are for Some sort of dating out for North Koreans late to people on it

You get one match or like that's it. The only one in Virginia No, just just just kind of met, you know, I saw her. That's how we met was we have mutual friends She's back home. She's from DC too. We have mutual friends I saw her she commented on one of my friends things and I just start DMing her Yeah, it didn't work. She ignored it. I guess she thought about month later She hit she misses me back two weeks later. She flew out and then uh, whoa, yeah Hey must ladies were later when engaged when we decide we decide is that what it is you motherfuckers take forever though Maybe not you but him. Well, that's not what do you mean? I've already decided and no in general

You know when a girl is like, you know what? I'm gonna give this guy a shot. We really go for it That's there and I did that with you. Yeah, I'm gonna give this one a shot and now we're four years deep bitch. I Mean, what do you what do you do? What are you fucking yapping about right now? Nothing? You're right We have five animals. We have five fucking animals man. It's a full house. Oh my god. Did I when I met you? Did I know her? I think you met her a little bit after right cuz you told me about her after a little bit You're very excited. He was so excited. There we go. And now right now. You just went up on my fucking books, bro Oh, great. Yeah. Yeah, I was excited. I'm still excited about her. I was I was just in the San Jose Thank you for coming out everyone by the way

It was a wonderful weekend and people want Tiger Belly. They're live Live, yeah, that's what people are saying. Can you bring the podcast out there? I think that that would be fill that room though That's a big theater. I think we could do one day of it. Yeah, if we just plug the fuck out of it We we promote San Francisco too We can't do San Francisco and San Jose. It's too close. No, that's what I'm saying No, we do one just in San Jose, but we promote it in San Francisco people can drive an hour Yeah, it's not that much an hour for us in LA. It's not that much tell that to anywhere else in the United States They're like fuck. No. Yeah, but we um hour

Also, I just want to say um Good try do who Choi. Oh, do you watch MMA? No, I don't there was a there's a Korean guy that we root for his name he goes by Korean super boy and he's very baby-faced and He fought this past weekend and he ain't got his ass knocked the fuck out I think it's over for him. It's not over. Yeah, it could listen. It's only a second loss I understand that but two in a row and they're not they're high-profile Matches main events main events It's I'm telling you right now his stock has gone. I'll tell you why it's not over because how many

Asian MMA Fighters or stars are really around right now that that are not Korean American, but from legit Korea So he's probably I'm saying people who could actually draw right he draws Surprisingly enough. He was a main card and on top of that the fact that he's so innocent looking. Yeah, is like people absolutely love I understand that but what I'm saying is is that Arsenal signed a Korean guy years ago and The reason behind is they think that he thought he was good

But also they're like we want to tap into the Asian market because we make so much we'll make so much money on merge They put him on the pitch twice The fucking terrible this guy Right and they never used him again. We don't I don't know what happened to him Well, there was just a bad pick on there. No, my point is is that it's like it's like they're not gonna keep using the guy He just can't do it I'll tell you this you're wrong because you guys kept saying that oh, he's gonna knock out Jeremy Stevens You absolutely underestimated who Jeremy Stevens is that guy is a fucking vet

He's been in the game for fucking a decade. It could have gone I'm not just let me I'm not ripping on no Jeremy Stevens lady. All I'm saying is I'm saying that I hear my Listen, he's Korean and my my reputation My reputation and my standing in modern society is on the line when you represent me I'm gonna go out there and to gigantic fights and lose right there forget it But they were exciting fights and that's the point of the you yeah It is exciting to see a Korean boy get beat the shit out of he took it. Well, he takes those shots so well He's so like just

Yeah expression when he is a Korean zombie. Where is he? He just well he served in the military for two years like a good Korean citizen That's a good movie for you and I Was that two guys you were a born you and I were born in Korea, but we came back. We were raised United States But then we go back we go back to serve in the military Right for two years to hear me out for two years, but that's when the war breaks out All right, all right, so me and you know two stoners right what just just it's a movie. It's a movie even the movie

Why cuz I don't know that's what I'm grateful that I'm not in Korea to go to military like mandatory like oh my god like That dude imagine him because he would have grown up in North Korea though. Yeah, yeah So imagine him at the DMZ. Well, be skinny though. I'd be different. You'd be so different. You grow up different You'd be so yeah, your mentality is different. Everything's different. Yeah, I feel like you would be like the worst. I Don't know or maybe or maybe I could get next to the guy like, you know, you're crazy enough for you could be next to me You know, right? No, no Let me ask you this if you and I were both

DMZ soldiers, okay, but we're North Korean and we were against we're on the wall Uh-huh, you know, we're the guy standing. Yeah, okay, and I turned to you and I say I'm gonna de facto Mm-hmm, and I run to the other side. Yeah Will you shoot me? Hell, no. Be real. I don't think so. I would I would act like I was I would like she now They do like shoot like you're over here shoot over there. He has to or else he'll get in trouble Yeah, so I'll make it look like I would but I definitely let you go Hell anybody even people that are like half as much. Oh, so you I we plan it. I'm gonna run, but you pretend you shoot Yeah, these like shoot him in the shoulder, but make sure you know, what do you see on the shoulder?

Just to make sure that you don't lose your job or they suspect that you were in on it Just like any time like I've seen like when someone's again You have to kill this person and that's their friend when I've been in situations like that. So they're like they just miss I'm a bad shot. I'm sorry. I missed right. I think you should take out an ankle You know what I would do that he can't run did he did he's What if he what if it's bad, what if it's deep and then you know how those North Korea, I mean, I'm sorry The South Korean soldiers in the line, they're looking for defectors, right? So they actually help out like that dude who went on a car chase and then he started running and he had been shot five times

The South Korean soldiers they fucking went in and they dragged his ass out of there like they're looking to help So if you just shoot one ankle, I think that, you know, the guys will come for He said I'm gonna run I'm gonna pretend right so he's gonna run I would actually shoot him Because then I can go I to Kim Jong-un. I did it. I did it for you Maybe I'll get some extra shit like been the board. Maybe I could get it a better government job or something I mean, what if you just get like one copy dinner? That's it Right, just one or I would be or maybe if you did it a couple of times You see it. That's how weasley I am. I would do things to so I can gain favor

That's who I am. You're so gross typical Hollywood because you might get tortured in death for missing me and shit You know, yeah, yeah, just let me like I think I'm a bad guy. I love it But not too too bad that like you're you're you're not irredeemable. No I think that I would weasel my way to the top of any structure just out of survival that sucks and Would you survive? Well, at least you're honest about it Would you accost your friendships and like your connections with the people that you love for the sake of like reaching no No, no, no, no, not my family

Like I would never fuck over my brother. I would never fuck over my parents my wife You know, I mean, but I would fuck over Gilbert. Yeah Yeah, I probably would fuck you over. Yeah, I would fuck over Like Paulie shore in in a North Korean situation Oh, yeah, yeah, so you'd fuck over your outer concentric circles in your life. Yeah, the super not the family. Yeah, like if I Was working for Schindler Okay, right. No, you know what? I probably wouldn't say anything. I think I'll be one of those guys So I'm good. I'm a good person like situation. You're a snitch

And if you got if you knew your sentence was gonna get shortened like you You're you're not an ally to anybody. You're an ally to the system Am I you're an ally to yourself and that's it which is fine because you're a survivor Yeah, isn't the point though in life to survive. No, sometimes it's to be part of a brotherhood and to stick by that by that You know, I don't want to die Like in a prison situation. It's like I if I help this guy out I want to die and I want to live it's self-preservation Does that make me a bad guy?

Just makes you a horrible friend. Yeah, at least you're still good guy kind of a bad guy kind of yeah, what do you mean? I don't know Like in like in um, let's try to do a movie Yeah, I think that I mean that guy in the mafia movies that like we like I'm a weasel Yeah, I'm in the court like in court like Telling on the dawn you're the rat. I'm the rat like good fellas. Mm-hmm Remember when the kid with the kid when the kid didn't testify and he got like props from the yeah, you know, you would have told I Don't know but then you would have died then I have to take a shit. Do you want to take a pause?

No, just keep going. Can you keep going? I have a question. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you said you got stabbed once What was the story behind that you got stabbed? He said he got stabbed. What part of your body right here? Like right under my stomach, please. Please set this up. So I'm like wait. We just passed by that. I got stabbed I shot at my world was a wrong place wrong time after the club, you know, like we're like everyone had their little gangs and he Start you were in a gang. Yeah, like you're basically your neighborhood is your people you grew up with you're like like a certain crew Whatever and yeah, it just it just kind of just happened And you know what I've been shot too. I'd rather get I'd rather get shot again been shot Been shot or he stabbed with a knife. I don't remember what kind of knife it was but he kept

I mean you can't he put it in me and then I'm trying to back out of it Yeah, cuz knife wasn't that big but the gas is actually this big I'm trying to get him off it, but he's keeping it inside me. Oh, cuz I'm trying to get it off me So yeah, you know, and then I kind of passed out and you know woke up in hospital Yeah, what part of your body were you shot? Am I uh Shin oh, that's why you don't want bobby to get shot in the leg Because you know, you know, you know, I don't wish that upon anybody man. Like it's that's it's a you know bad situation

You know, so you really grew up in the hood then. Yeah, I mean like this is the worst part I didn't grow up people say you must have grew up in like the worst part. I was weird because I would go to like the Worst part to hang out just to be like I was there And then I would go and I remember one time falling asleep and this This neighborhood in DC that like it's called like the worst. It's considered like the worst. It's called berry farm. It's very It's not very far not Give you an idea in like the early 90s. There was 27 murders in that neighborhood, you know I mean, and I thought I was so cool because I fell asleep on the park bench with the Rolex

I thought that was the coolest thing. Yeah, I fell asleep with a Rolex Untouched I you know what I always prefer to live in an area that's a little bit that has a hood Like that's why I lived in long beach for so long living in super like Like nice squeaky clean suburban areas. Freak me the fuck out if people aren't on the street in the 4th of july Exploding m80s and like doing some illegal shit. I feel uncomfortable I know because okay, because you there's no culture. Yeah, and also it's like you have come people neighbors that complain too much about noise Or this and that like I want a neighborhood where I can fuck you and pick up my barbecue grill and cook wherever the fuck

I want outside without people saying oh my god, is there a fire somewhere and going on next door the app and then complaining about it You know what I mean? Like I can't do that. I love the hood. I miss green valley. What's green valley? That's where I grew up power in the country club. He's a country club. I grew up in green valley where um where You knew the neighbors the fine golds They'll do right across the line goes across the street, right? The schmirnoffs were next to us goldbergs. Yeah, not the goldberg. Oh, not them. No, they weren't no There were no gold. I didn't know goldberg. Mm-hmm. So stop saying stuff like that. Okay. What's your problem today?

The fuck is your problem today? You're so low-energy today man. A jewish last name I know but to think about your energy right now, dude. Oh, it might be my diet. What's going on? I've been eating less than 1800 calories a day It's like, yeah, you look swollen your eyes. Yeah, like your eyes are dark. Look at this. Are you still doing intermittent and on top of 1800 calories? Well, the only reason for the 1800 is just because I ate bad last week. So it's just a reset. Are you eating 1800 like real Good calories. Are you no, they're good. They're good. They're all vegetables. Gilbert If you're you don't look healthy, that's what it is. You're energy. Look at the bags and you're so dark

You're not doing it right. This is from just rubbing my eyes. No, no, no, you have I've never looked at how swollen and dark His eyes are right now. He looks fine. Oh my god. I died. Should I get blood work? No, you look like you're on the last stages of some sort of disease No, he doesn't No, I might be Me? Yeah, you know Dante, she made me do vegetarians. I didn't think anyone do that Fuck you. Yeah I didn't I'm I just started myself just to kind of because I have a lot of

I I go I sit to her I go in what was the other night? I go. Oh, yeah, I wanted to go to korean barbecue with steve And I go can I have it? She's like, well, you know, it's up to you I go Well, will you give me shit if I eat meat? She's like, well, you said you were gonna do it. So but you know, it's your decision It's true. So when you know when you say it in that way, then you're like, oh, I can't do it This is how this is cool. Hey, baby. I'm gonna go eat. You know what sweetie? You did eight days, you know Go ahead. You need a little reward Right, and I need I don't call me dude. Don't call me dude. I need

All right. So what I'm saying to you right now is is that If you want me to if you're cool with it, then you say I'm cool with it But don't get me psychological bullshit with it Yeah, because I I told you yeah, this is a commitment that we made together because I can't do this shit alone If because I cook for you, right? And if I have to cook meat for you that shit is difficult because I want to lick it so badly when I was a sandals I didn't I fucking uh he ate like Caesar salad nine Caesar salad You know and I was hoping I didn't ask but I'm sure there was anchovies in the fucking sauce

Oh, so you still eat cheese and dairy and stuff. Yeah, but still dude. Have you not have you gone like a week without eating meat? I don't eat meat. I just eat. I just eat fish. Oh, you're a pescatarian Oh, you're oh, you're a pescatarian. Yes six months now six months. Can I do that? Yes, you can Not now from now. No, no, no. See that's what I'm saying End of january. No end of january. I'm fucking gonna eat a whole cow. It's not that far. That's fine. But we fucking this was a blood packed Oh But then don't say that I can do whatever I want because I can't Yeah, okay, but if I say that you're like, oh, you're such a bitch. You are a bitch for it because I did I already did nine days

Why did you go pescatarian? I don't know just um Just want to change I just ate like shit. Mm. They can just extremely your body hasn't changed I mean, that's how you know you can still eat fucked up How do you maintain this body? And then you've been vegan for six months, you know, or a pescatarian for six months. Yeah, I started off vegan for like a month I started going crazy. Oh, yeah, would you be considered fat? Yes, absolutely We if you saw him and you like say you were to describe Dante's physical appearance pleasantly plump

Fat. No, you're fucking fat. I'm fat. I'm fat. Yeah, I would say so. You're not elia chang, you know elia Yeah, he's nice. Yeah, he's nice. Yeah, he's got a nice body. He's funny. It's slim. Do you think elia's funny? Um, uh, I guess he's cool. I don't really I don't know I don't even know who he is. I know he is. Yeah, elia. It's funny. Yeah, just say yeah. Yeah, he's funny. Yeah Whoa, there's a war. No, no, he's cool. I have no problem. All right. All right But his brand you're not into that Look like you might it's like watching a basketball player. He scores baskets. I don't like how he plays

I don't like Politically good, you know, but you know, Yoshi. Mm-hmm. Good friends with Yoshi. No, just know who he is. Yeah. Yeah. You like him. Yeah Yeah, he wants me. He wants me and my family dead He's Japanese. It makes sense though. Oh, there's a part of Japanese. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah So he's he threatened, uh He threatened my family's life and my life here on my podcast. Tell him that Just fyi. I Just you know, shout out. Just a shout out to Yoshi. Okay. He looks like uh, he seems like a nice guy, but he is very

Looks like he will hurt you. Yeah, you know, just the way he looks He does look like he can hurt you. He looks like he could hurt you. Yeah, I'm so sorry Yoshi if you're listening No, I'm being real. I let I want to do my apology I you know, I think it's enough time is passed genuine. I want to be genuine and I want to talk about I want to apologize to a lot of people right now But my number one apology is to Yoshi I think you're a funny dude I

When I said it about you on David chose podcast Which isn't a choking matter just so that I could just side with David about something But um, I respect you. Thank you for all the free porn you gave me over the years Um, I want to be friends again But if you don't I understand but that's that who else do I have to apologize to I think that's it You've been pretty good lately. You've stayed out of the You've been out of wars. Yeah, I've been above the fray. I want to apologize to Vince Vaughan Oh, don't apologize him. He's doing just fine. I apologize for that. No, who else do you know? That's it?

I think that's pretty much it Aria and I are cool Eleanor and I are cool You don't start wars, huh? Try that too. There's no one in the on the face of comedy that doesn't hate you I don't you know what a few like I don't know if that's a good thing though I I think that I think that for I I'll be honest for you to make it in the business You have to have a stable of guys that hate you No, people have gone out the way to try to get out get under my skin. I just try to ignore it. Oh, really?

I have to in a chair or somebody. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. So you that's a good sign Your career's fine. Yeah, because like rose ant like for instance, like, you know, I've said this before and I'm gonna say it again What mitzy shore once said to me, it's like the only way to make it in this business is if you're somebody they can have Half the audience love you and hate you at the same time 50% hate you 50% love you if you have a hundred percent. That's hard to do. That's tom hanks. It's so hard That's really so but if you can get people to hate you as You know, wait, are there people that hate tom hanks? Do you think I don't hate? I don't know. Tom Hanks is the only one like Tom Hanks people love universally. Yeah, I think people like will smith university the rock

The rock. Yeah, the rock universally I think ellen the generous is somebody. No, you know, it's some of the people hate her Oh, really? Because of what she represents. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. What are you saying? One person I think and hathaway seems like seems like I've heard people say they hate her. Yeah, I've heard people say they love her Yeah, and hath was a very good example polarizing very polarizing. Yeah Yeah, but that's what you need. That's what mitzi says like, you know A lot of people hate Jim Carrey, but they love him Right. Yeah. Yeah, it's very hard to be a tom hanks in the world

I don't remember anyone that hates Jim Carrey. No, I know people that are like people that are educated Oh, yeah, people that were educated and ivy league. They're like, he's too broad over the top He's over the top. Oh, my gaps. My gaps are people like you're like, I have Jewish friends. They just can't stand him They're like, he's the worst comedian I've ever seen but black dudes love him. Like so it's like I don't know subject to my gaps is just I love him Don't you love my gaps? Yeah, I do. You know, I don't know. Oh my god. I've had a couple of counters with him He's always been nice, but um He's just I love him

What are your stories with him? Well, I don't I had some I just heard some other stories, but I don't know I can say I can't say it. You can't say He's having the up to I'm up to no good. I'm trying to edit myself because You know We've been editing these podcasts. You're not trying to edit yourself You're just trying to not say some bullshit every two seconds that gilbert has to then edit out But of so far, it's you you don't edit yourself so far. We've been good, right? This is great. Yeah, so far

So far, this is at free, right? You don't do this again. What do what? Every time you do this Oh really Really? Yeah, we're good, man You know Fuck

Fuck these guys Who generic fuck you together. Just fuck all these guys that are doing all this stuff out there Raping and stuff. Yeah What do you think about the whole um Aziz and zari thing or you don't know the whole story. So yeah, I guess you can't really You know, I I think that and I'm gonna be so we don't edit this thing. All right. Sorry george I had to so that we don't edit this thing is just that I wasn't there

Yeah, I mean my take on it was that you know, the girl's like 22 23 It obviously she consented to being there at one point. She was fully naked with him But he just sounds like a fucking creep He kept trying to like shove his fingers down her throat multiple times and after when she realized that's a move That's an indian. Yeah, I know It's cultural. Yeah and move by that's yeah the kill it with that move Yeah, I mean like I I've been in that position when I was so young and naive And I thought that I owed it to the guy or else I wouldn't get a ride home from recita and I'm like fuck

I have no money. I'm gonna get stuck here I better fucking blow him and I'm feeling really sick about it after because like, you know I have felt like either coerced But I'm so fucking young and stupid that I didn't I couldn't handle myself Appropriately at that time that would never happen to me now. I'd be very like fuck. No get out of my fucking face. I'm gone This will be pretty mad. I'm upset with you. I think I've always also been a what I'm looking back and this is I can applaud myself And I don't know why but I've always been

I've had single times where I you know, it saw certain girls and it didn't you know work out But I've never done a dine and dash situation What pop up and run. I'll tell you why you're there's something so cute about you I think that you have a perpetual fear of rejection because when we first met he would ask Everything was a permission where I wanted to get really grimy and do I would do crazy shit Like spit in his face or spit in his mouth and just get like super hyper sexual And at the moment he would feel me either

Like or he would suspect that maybe I wasn't feeling something he'd be like, oh like people you were so like over Sensitive about feeling rejected. Yeah, I think if I had told you hey, I don't want to do that. You'd be like, okay I'll go home That's what you would know because all the relationships that I've had before you were like with younger girls And girls that more are more suburbany What the fuck am I? No, you're more. I mean you you're a little bit more Um to say island that's island. Yeah, yeah island is island flavor island flavor where it was You just would I've never really

Quite met somebody that was like there was one girl that dated that I've never even seen her ass Whoa Yeah, she goes I just don't hit my ass so she could she would get up from the bed and face me and back away from You know like a dance move. Yeah. Yeah late at night I would try to you know mean do the towels I mean the blanket thing where I was she sleeping on her stomach so I could look at it that way But then she would just turn how to look through the jeans Uh, it looked pretty fucking flat. Yeah, that's why I know but still I wanted to see the flesh part

Yeah, because it never looked as bad What's this? What's tough? It looks flat through the jeans. You're like, oh, it's not so bad Yeah, but like, you know what the worst thing about ass is if I see pimples I've had butt pimples. No, I like no like how dare you? Oh, no, I've had like eight at one time. Yeah, and I showed you and then you said Yeah, I didn't like What I say, he has to put your dick in my butt. Yeah Because of the pimple oh out of anger to be like all right. Yeah, right rage. Yeah. I was trying to pop your pimples

My dick with his thighs. Yeah Yeah, I um But I so when I met you it was just like I'd never had a girl say to me Choke me You mean or because you were you were so careful like he never he wasn't the aggressor and I was very much the aggressor I can never picture you in a scenario where you like force your Like your fingers down somebody's throat or like chase them around the room and like please have sex with me

Like I I can never picture you that way because you're such you're a guy who has just been perpetually rejected And I think that you you fear you still fear that to some degree. Oh my god. I am I was perpetually rejected I bagged it many times I've been hurt And scarred I've chased Not sexually just um dating wise. No dating wise. No in my heart. I mean What I mean is that I've longed you've courted. I've courted. I've longed for women

and um, they've just completely friendzoned me And then I'm the type of guy that's to stay in the friendzone for a year And then watch them date other guys and get jealous and I would write poetry This is true. No, what that'd be real. I would use to write poetry about it I have diaries for um about it. I used to go to zanzibar coffee shop in pacific beach To like three in the morning and like to hope hopefully I'll run into So-and-so. Yeah, yeah, right and I just played chess with my friend calisto And I love that

And then like look around to see if rebecca came in wow and she's not there I'll maybe she'll come I've seen her in the morning. So I'll wait because zanzibar was 24 hours I'll just wait till 9 10 in the morning. Oh my god. Like I'm that guy Were you were you always good with girls? Um, this is the crazy thing being like the only asian guy You could I like I think by the age 20. I think I slept over like 200 black women. You're a novelty 200 black women. Yeah, probably Because it's not like

I'm like, we're all kind of shocked by that. Yeah. I used to think I've never even done one I used to think I was good-looking. Yeah You know, but like like really like, you know Like I when I moved here when black women would reject me. I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with this bitch? You know what I mean? Yeah, because I'm so used to the only asian guys. So fuck it, you know That's what I grew up around. So so how many two are you being real you fucked over 200 black women count But it's probably in that realm somewhere Wow

And you found them attractive too as well. Not awful. You know how guys are Yeah, I think my scale went from anywhere from, you know, the more drugs you do you're We negotiate that number All right. All right. So on a scale of one to ten. Let's in terms of african-american women, right? Have you ever done a one? Yeah, whoa. Yeah, probably. Well, what is a one to you? precious, you know I I'd say one all the way up to a nine never probably attended. Have you ever ate a eight out of precious fuck no

Oh, you wouldn't do that. It was basically like I'm drunk I just did some e fuck this fuck and you still you're hot. You know, that's how you know it's bad. You're high as shit and you're still like You're talking negotiating and you're should I do this? It's not just going to bathroom and just go to work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've done that too. Like, you know what? I'm just going to go to the bathroom and yeah. Yeah. I'm not doing this. Oh, really you've done that And you jerk off. Yeah, the job like I can't uh

Do you ever do this? Do you ever go like back in San Diego? We used to have f-street bookstore? And at 18 you can walk in there and they have those booths in the back where you watch videos And it smells like calm. Yeah, and you ever jerked off in those booths. You know, my friend used to work at one of those Yes, oh, yeah. I got a crazy I got a crazy story about that. It's a it's a hacky hacky thing. But it's okay. I went there and I saw He was putting up dildos one day, right? Yeah Yeah, classic Dildos had a stick of this that thin cock

Yeah, I'm like, yo, that's a thin cock That's a thin cock, man. I'm a deep shit You don't know you're a guy. You don't see dicks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what the size is supposed to be like self-conscious Yeah, I've I've blown some ogres myself. What do you mean ogre? I've been like I've I've Fucked really ugly dude ugly dudes. Wow because they're nice and I like them. Yeah, I'm an equal opportunity employer I mean, I've I mean you are because you're dating me But you're actually in my scale of the ugliest I've ever fucked to the most good-looking I've ever fucked Believe it or not, you're probably right at a seven or eight because I've fucked some gargoyles

Wow feels pretty good. That's good seven eight funny Get you women Just being funny. Yeah, just being funny. It's weird. It's not just funny. It's if anyone's Pursuing Their dream. I think that that's infectious Yeah, I think so too. Yeah when somebody is Everyday resilient and they keep doing it Even in the face of like

all this negative shit It it it it goes well I think that's that you're completely right all those super super ugly guys that I fucked with always had big personalities Yeah, I mean without that the what are you what are you left with but maybe money then after that You're like what interest do you have after that? Like, uh, yeah, you're broke. You're ugly. You're not funny So then you're not interesting then for what at that point I remember one of my first boyfriends when I came here He was like a really fat Mexican guy named Josh and he would visit me in his like BMX bike and I was so in love with him

And he was a gangster and I and and I then I dated a gangster from fucking You're not gonna believe us, but his name was puppet His real name was victor and he was a really nice guy tear tattoos. You may not with puppet. Yeah, and then you fuck puppet I you fuck a puppet. No, I blew puppet. You blew puppet. I blew the shit out of puppet But puppet never entered the house. Um, he no, I would go visit him in No, you're definitely put your giant on this one. No, he was I was underage and he was older. He was an older gangster I love It's so funny. I tell Kolel all the time. I go if we if she didn't know who I was

And we met and we went to high school. She would not even give me the light of day What I just told you I Pop it. I'm not puppet. I think I think I'm on your side with that. I think she would still Yeah, I think you don't know, you know the session. No, you don't know with me. You have a good personality back then. No I was greasy I was the kid At the library, right who's sitting there in the corner and it's like winter but sweating And I'm sitting there sweating. I always had sweaty palms

Right and I would just wait until people left so I can jerk off to like incest books and stuff Oh, gee. Okay. Like those side, you know, I they I can't believe I just said that No, I'm just saying no not incest books ed books. Yeah, there were sex ed books about um I know you're talking about about like And these are like medicals books about incest and stuff. There's nudity. There's like new drawings And I used to jerk off to that shit So, you know, you're not good, baby. You're not gonna I

Guarantee you guarantee you not guarantee you if you were even if we let's say we were just friends And I just happened to be bored that day. I was such a horny kid that I would have been like, okay I guess, you know, let's do this Then you know that way Meeting you would have changed the trajectory of my life I'm glad we didn't meet then. Yeah, because I would have got some pussy and and and getting pussy Would have been bad for me because the only reason why I got into comedy is to get pussy Right, so maybe I don't know. It's great that I didn't meet someone like you. Yeah, so I was starving

Yeah, yeah, where we at time how we're over about an hour. Wow, that's cool. We got a question Yeah, because I got to go do something. Yeah, unhelpful. Yeah, wait let me explain. Um, we do a um question for the internet and you just answer it Unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalala at Dante Chang Hey guys, this question is for an helpful advice. Recently I have become friends with this woman It started over coffee led to a movie date then some wine at my apartment Then we have sex. It was amazing. This woman is 37 and I'm 23 We've been seeing dating now for almost a month and it's been a really great experience For so long, I felt every girl I dated had something to always be insecure about stuck up or immature

I really feel like I finally met someone who almost perfectly meshes with me It was almost too good to be true. She feels the same way. This woman has been married before her husband passed She has four kids and we have the huge age gap We're absolutely crazy about each other more on her and it feels while I'm slow with my emotions because of fear of getting hurt Due to my bad past with relationships Very long indeed But my main question is do I go for it? My family is Native American and I know they would not approve of her because of the age gap and children

How do you approach something like this to family? Any help would be great feeling stuck in my situation. Love you guys 37 the woman with four kids. He's 22 23. So yeah, well This is a tough one If it's love if it really is love then that that just transcends But if it's a fetish on either end Then that's a little weird. That's fleeting then in a year. You'll be sick of each other. Yeah on to the next uh cougar

Yeah, it could be even from her and like yeah, I got some young dick It's a lot of baggage man That is true. It's a lot of baggage. Yeah. Yeah, you're not just marrying her. You're marrying the kid Four kids and it's all it's all fun and games in the beginning when you're just fucking her and she's not bringing the kids around But you have to think about the long run and how you're going to be living in a household with four children And playing that being that father role essentially Um, that's that's a lot for a 23 year old You have a lot of life to live and your 20 should be spent exploring

many different types of women and or men or you know what I mean like that's such a Pivotal part of a young man. Yeah, I think I agree with you, baby. Um, but like I said, you know, there are You know instances where Like you said if it's love it's love and there's it sometimes it just works out Yeah, or just take it one moment at a time. You can't a lot of it. It's like I'm going to project into the future and go Well, if this happens, this happens at my parents, you know, just live in the moment Just take it one day at a time And see how it feels like you can't you're putting your whole life into one moment and then that's then exactly if you're looking

Too far into the future. That's also a mistake. You know, it Yeah, but she might feel he might feel differently tomorrow. Yeah, what's the oldest chick you ever had hooked up with? Oh cocaine Yeah, yeah, I think I was 27 55 That's not too bad. Well, wait, wait, it's 55. It's not too bad. She was 55. She's 55 and he's already 27 No, 55. It's not that bad. He has golden girls. No, that's julia roberts But not that she didn't he has not black. No, she was actually here

She was Japanese and white. Oh, then she's like six. She looks 16 All right, and I don't know Really, it's amazing nothing to brag about You have any you have anything to plug Oh, uh, uh got my podcast. What's your podcast called completely a professional podcast is the By comedy pop-up. They sponsor me. Nice. What's it called the completely unprofessional the completely unprofessional podcast And is this you it's me and uh, fuquan johnson austin hall two black comedians Last episode we had a alex parazon. She talked about how jeff garcia's sexually harassed her that should be dry

Oh, that's right. She's a hosted for bobby before. Oh alex. She's lesbian. Yeah, let's be. Yeah, I like alex Yeah, she's cool. So alex did your podcast So funny that you've never asked me what to be your podcast But I feel like it was the way way way beneath you and to be honest, you know, no, I've done every other He's done a lot. Okay. I'll ask you definitely ask you. Well, no, it's I'm no already now Already now it's weird because you asked alex powers before me Well, she has a story, you know, I got many stories dog She has the relevant me too story, you know, with jeff garcia. First of all

How does that work when let me just ask you this? Because I know jeff. I've known jeff throughout my whole career. I started with jeff So what exactly happened? Go listen to the completely unprofessional pod. It doesn't do drop it, but I'll tell you this man. So you don't have to I think she got groped. That was good. I think she was groped at a at a at a show by him Okay, I can say like multiple times though because from what I read from her like facebook Um profile it happened on like more than one occasion or something to that effect scary the one thing jeff garcia said to me once and

He'll probably deny it. I love jeff by the way. I think it's very talented But we were in by salia Oh onion town. Yeah, and we were in a hoot moat holiday inn And I think he was farther ahead. He was much funnier than I was But one night he goes, yo, I bet you money dude. This is he was young that I make more money than you throughout our careers He remember him saying that to me and I go, okay We'll see

I don't know who he is. So who was one That's what I thought that's yep Anyway, um, thank you don't change for uh coming by Thank you and um thank any shows Where am I going? Um, where are you going? Oh not till not till, um, Chicago. Yep Chicago shamburg or in chicago improv in shamburg and then after that you have irvine. Who am I doing that with?

Um jade catapretta Me and jade again. Who's irvine? I have yet to decide. Okay You know adison. I want sandy danto No, that's uh Oh, yes. Okay. Cool. Because I thought I already gave it to countess, but it's not okay. Good. And you give don't do a round of applause everybody Dante really quick. What's your handles? Uh at don't a check. There it is guys

Makes you false on tiger belly at tiger belly on instagram and on twitter at the tiger belly And also email us any questions at the tiger belly at gmail.com. Have a good day Hey Prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad free on amazon music download the amazon music app today Or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey