TigerBelly - Episode 128: Conduit of Love

Episode Date: February 7, 2018

Bobo hits the concrete. Khaloko has trouble guts. Gilbert is back. George mourns in black. We talk Mayan Jungle, Stardew Valley, and master anglers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly ad-free on Amazon music download the app today 5 4 3 2 I'm a conduit of love. I'm a conduit of love Nosotros papaya Hola que tal bien bien nosotros papaya el segundo la sienega y Rafael dos Santos dos Santos bien bien I am a senior bubbly and we have el feo george el guapísimo pieo george we got señorita gilbert hola chicas el joto el joto el joto gilbert and the garbage puto Kalyla hola garbage puto oh trash welcome to another episode of the tiger the tiger belly and we went to a vacation last week we went to to lume mexico and I hadn't I didn't know anything about it

like you know my brother googled it because steve went steve's girlfriend went Kalyla sister the cop what's his name shut up you know her boyfriend yeah renzo renzo jacuzzo nosotras papaya anyway um if you want if you also want um a translation of nosotras papaya we are papaya by the by okay so anyway um so I didn't know anything about it and I was I was writing it yeah you know and I these kind of skirt I'm not I'm not a vacation guy you know I do it for you know my beautiful seniorita Kalyla you okay and I do it so that you know I want her to experience all the things in life there is to experience and I'd rather just stay home you know and play video games that's my vacation yeah but we go and I literally had a very memorable life affirming

type of experience you fly into cancun you see the airport you're like um this is gonna be weird yeah but then you drive well here's talk about the airport what do you mean why cancun you know what you know what happened at the airport no he doesn't know did you tell him what happened there for I don't know I feel like we have to call steve lee no no no no can we just please call steve and see if he picks up because I feel like his account of the story might be the best let's let's get his account well because you're I'm gonna tell you my account yeah I'll tell you my account if we can get a hold of it his account everyone listening this is Bobby's account okay so we you know you you land and then you get to like the exit way and you see just a thousand

people going you need a cab you need a cab cab you know I mean people taxi drivers and stuff and it's pouring rain okay hey steve oh hey you're on the podcast right now we wanted to ask you your brother's about to tell the story about when we first landed in cancun at the airport and when I went outside and he went outside and he was crossing the street I we wanted to hear it out of your mouth since you saw the whole thing all right that right there all right hang up hang up the phone thank you okay okay hang up the phone hang up the fucking phone what is that it was sad why is it sad come on man you slipped and then everyone saw you and the whole time and the whole time steve was like you call yourself a man yeah why fighting words

yeah yeah that's good that's good well that's there's a compliment there thank you I did pop up like Bruce Lee thank you so much all right get hang up the phone thank you thank you you fucking rat fuck that's uh Steve Lee's account my brother just said that I felt I felt like a fat pig on concrete and then said so I'm wearing my like slippers and and I'm walking and it's literally in front of hundreds of like cab drivers and tourists and people right yeah yeah and I slip my stomach just hits the ground you know stomach like a pop like it was like an explosion yeah yeah and you could hear people laughing yeah you know my arm is bleeding your entourage is laughing at you I could not well I ran over to help him but at the same time I couldn't

stop like cry laughing yeah that I wish is of no use to him at all and then I got up real quickly and I turned around to everyone I go I'm fine I try to make a joke out of it yeah you have to because it's so embarrassing you have to and then my brother goes um you call yourself a man out loud out loud right 20 times and then he's laughing is like you feel like a fat pig on concrete like he said it out loud so specific and people are just laughing and I'm gonna think to myself I go don't rage out everything's fine vacation is not off to a good start yeah it's the first thing yeah wow then we drive we get in a van we drive like an hour and a half into Tulum and you know we get to the Airbnb yeah yeah it's nice it's nice you did hotel no hotel dude I'm telling you guys this

was a perfectly nice penthouse it had two bedrooms there was a pool in the roof it was very it was like a it was a chill place but when we got there the first thing Bobby said was ah this is what camping feels like this fucking diva it's camping why is it like camping because the outside felt like the inside oh I needed an environment shift I see I mean there was AC no but it wasn't on at the time you see what happens if there's no gas they obviously turn it off because save save money yeah money and so you walked in it was as humid in there as it was outside so I'm like okay and then it looks kind of modern and stuff but you know you could tell that we're still in the middle of the jungle it's not yet in the middle of the jungle and you're not I'm not gonna have the same

Wi-Fi speed no what no fi they had no fi oh shit no games not good no games you can't download anything but I was exhausted anyways so I would know what are we we went out that night yeah we went to go so we went to so here's why to looms great okay is we go into what's that street called by the by the beach all the hotels to loom beach to loom beach and you could already tell that it's you see like rich white hippies walking around you see the stores are like high end we're in Portland right but not too high and they're not mainstream they're not mainstream it's more like hippie wear like scarves and like shawls it's mostly for women okay there's no guys you can't there's no way yeah and then um we try to go to arca which is the number one place no

heartwood is and then we went to heartwork they wouldn't see us these are restaurants okay yeah so I go fuck it let's just go across the street yeah and in my opinion that was the best meal of the week I mean it was it was the best meal I've had probably top 10 in the world I've ever had in my life oh wow everything was good and the service was amazing they put the napkin on your lap right which is a good sign right it's a good sign they bring a little tiny like a coat hanger a wooden one where you can put your purse and all that kind of stuff and it was I had a lobster it was so fucking amazing and it was I was a good beginning although I do felt felt like a fat pig and the concrete yeah after you know and then I went home and I felt right asleep I mean like I

just fell asleep that's good because the next day we had to do indiana jones shit oh it was that day to me and let me tell you something right now we did three things if I did one of those things accomplishment none of them I could have died oh okay the exertion and what it's what entails mm your navy seal shit it's not okay to me it is you have to know this about bobby if he decides that he's gonna do it he's not just gonna do it he's gonna do it a thousand percent so he's always ahead of the pack if we're swimming in a lagoon he's the first he's in front if we're biking he's going 30 miles an hour like he just has pedal to the metal always yeah yeah you know why because I'm a fucking life warrior all right that if I'm gonna do something

I'm gonna do it 100% even if I don't want to do it just to do get through it yeah that's my motto just get through it and thank you for not wearing white oh my god you know what when I came in this room I was like George looks really good yeah black is your color is this the first day wearing uh when I went back to Michigan I've uh changed out of it good I was gonna beat my parents like nursery uh fellows and went to you went to nursery convention yeah I think it's Jessica posted a picture with a dude no are you mourning oh you're like black superman so you were it's a black superman yeah you're darker now right it's a good death a day good morning morning I love I'm so sorry George wow wait what's spider-man's the other spider-man that's black

oh the oh the symbiote yeah yeah symbiote that's what you are yeah you're corrupted by darkness because of the sadness yeah well you know he is who he's fucking um Anakin Skywalker yes the third movie yeah episode three you turned completely to the dark side you were to go dark side yeah holy shit in the beginning you're hanging out with young yo uh Obi-Wan Kenobi wearing white wearing white you know blue like Jedi right and all of a sudden like the girl something happens and you start oh wow red red lightsaber yeah wow if you were a um good white Lila good window okay I literally if you were like a tool of the dark side and you're sitting next to standing next to like um Darth Maul or what I would not be scared of you you'd be the worst fucking introducing Darth George yeah

hey guys he'd pull out a lightsaber I wouldn't like I'd like fuck you you know but anyway hey love you I love you back to the life warrior so you're a life warrior I'm a life warrior so we did three things three things okay each one very difficult the first place we go to first of all we're with a guy named Hugo who's the best the guide or he's a guy okay and I miss him so much I'm gonna be not emotional um you know you meet people in life no matter what country you're on and you just kind of go yeah if we lived in the same town that dude would be my friend or somebody that I would really know you know he he's also the mayor of Tulum I mean everywhere we went like cab drivers street walkers people would just come up hey what's up and he would like they would hug him or he was a

tour guide he was the best this guy nicest guy in the world so the first place we go to is a open lagoon and you swim in it right and you see people were wetsuits and like what do you call it the oxygen why we're divers oh you dive in it okay yeah but we didn't do that we did free form you know the surface shit like tread water yeah well you you still have the little binoculars what do you call them goggles goggles binocular masks yeah calm telescope water telescope whatever yeah water telescope water telescope yeah I was wearing a water telescope thank you and um we get it and it's already it's beautiful you're you can look in the water and you see colorful fish and you get further in and then you're just going I think I'm gonna drown like I because there's

levels of it like so deep yeah that you can't put your foot I mean there's no you can't you have to you're just like constantly moving yeah there's some really big points real deep points so I decided I'm just gonna get through this whole thing I'm gonna get to the end you know press the wall and then go the other way oh myself style yeah I mean so halfway during it my brother and Ilani is in the front with me at one point because her Kalyla her sister and Renzo have to do like the deep blue shit like deep diving you know touch the you know coral or whatever yeah and my brother and Ilani and we're doing whatever whatever you're doing down there um you get what I'm saying all right so we're swimming and Hugo is with us and Hugo goes hey senior don't move that's good

I go why look look look and I look to my left and there's a gigantic rock there okay like oh it's a beautiful rock and there's a crocodile there's I'm how the distance between you and me right now oh fuck that's rock that's too close alligator not as aggressive as a crocodile I mean it was an alligator yeah oh well there you go then less scared less scared I thought it was a crocodile less scared wow yeah those are like sea dogs believe it or not alligators are sea dogs everybody you can pet them you can pet them and stuff I would but that I'm not scared even if you see an if I was in the Philippines because that's we have a crock country right Philippines is crocodile country I would never be no water if a crocodile was on that rock next to me but what if there's

an alligator yes really yeah okay all right stop that's fine you grew up in an island where they do that all right I grew up in Poway California and um I don't know if you know this or not but there are no alligators or crocodiles anywhere near our fucking neighborhood I'm scared I don't know anything about them I don't know what you're talking I'm scared of big reptiles I'm telling you there's just a difference fine but I don't know that but so I'm in the ocean I'm in the water and there's a fucking alligator still scared sorry your story your story your story fucking bitch right here it's like you're a pussy I didn't say that I never said that yeah you actually got the closest to the alligator exactly because do you know why he didn't know no oh I'm a conduit of life

interesting okay of love what I say love of love life yeah all right I just I look at the beasts in the eyes yeah in that moment and I just go hello in my mind I don't say it out loud but in my face I go hello please please don't eat me yeah and I do I exude all that in my eyes right and I locked eyes with this thing and I took a selfie yeah I took a photo because if I was gonna die I wasn't but I needed it like evidence evidence yeah he never asks for a photo ever yeah and this is the one time he was like babe yeah he was because it was behind him so he kept his back was to it he kept kind of inching but like backwards and I was like you're too close you're too close there was an alligator on the rock that means there's all sorts of shit

in that lagoon right that you don't that you can't see well they said during hurricane season they have a lot of manatees that come through unlikely how the fuck did the alligator get there I'm there is a source there's there's definitely there's tunnels things and you know where there's one there's wait he's a loner he's a hermit that's a name he doesn't fuck this is a community there's an HOA there thank you this is a neighborhood of alligators thank you oh it's scary so you know we swam past it and then and uh and we saw a swan I swam back I was the first one to make it back he like sprinted back to shore I swam back to shore I swore to God I thought that's all we're doing to that day and I was exhausted you're done oh my neck and my back I couldn't fucking move

and then they eventually get out and they're okay we're going to the caves now part two part two I get caves I don't like caves you like caves I'm a favorite like Batman but that's about it but these aren't just caves dude this was a bad cave this is a water cave you so you're in the water and you're swimming into a cave oh you don't walk in no you don't walk with all this delay tight it was it was fucking amazing yeah I mean it it was I'll be honest with you it was probably something I'll never see again yeah it's out of a video game basically yeah that's what my brother kept saying this is like a video game and I mean it's like you look on this it's like crystals coming down from the sea oh wow but the problem wasn't that um we went there and saw this the

problem was Hugo then pulling out six flashlights and he was like all right guys come on in we're gonna go in an hour and a half swim into the the caves basically so after swimming for how long was the lagoon about like 40 minutes and then another hour and a half just straight swimming yes what the fuck it was seriously the water is colder darker you go in and you just do it you go into the cave and it's dark and your body is gone you know luckily there was points where rocks were sticking out so you could grab on to it with your hand and do a little resty rest what was on top of those rocks that I freaked out about cockroaches oh my god I freaked the fuck out there's like these rocks and Anna is literally a village of cockroaches baby ones

little tiny ones they're eating the guano from the top that because there's a ton of bats up top so anyways this um this cave system or this underground river system is part of a 250 mile long system imagine that this thing goes on forever and we just saw like a portion of it we just saw portion but he didn't wear a wetsuit I wore a wetsuit my sister wore a wetsuit but he just powered through because he's a fucking warrior so we go deep in the and then we see with the bats millions of on just on the ceiling they're all hurled up together and it's you know you it's one of those things what you just kind of have to see yeah it's like a year ago when we went to the ocean and so on with the sharks I'll do it once you'll never get me to do it again memory locked but

aren't you glad that you saw it that's pretty cool let me think about that let's analyze yeah yeah I guess I am we were all in awe I was in awe but yeah it was pretty impressive I was in awe of my body it's still going like wow you're doing it you know so we do that we do the cave systems we get out and then there was a third place and this is now we're going to what's the place coba coba part three where it's the the Mayan ruins yeah you get a bike and you see they're a little Mayan freeway that they use to bringing materials and whatnot you see there's a weird game a building where there's these two loops and they played games it's like their form of basketball but in some Mayan cultures when the loser would get his head

chopped off but in this particular Mayan culture they would get their penises chopped off okay so there's if you lose you get your penis chopped off but if you win you get executed because that's your direct line that you know yeah with the gods oh that's right that's right you got it right you get sacrificed so the when you die you lose your dick it's an honor to die so if you're playing the game take second get second place yeah silver medal yeah yeah get the bronze because I think four people play oh you don't want to be four you're gonna be first yeah third or second third yeah second or third yeah right and then you you ride your bike for another mile and then there's this is another building and it's beautiful I mean it's like they made it rock solid you know you know you've seen

apocalypto yeah that kind of shit that's cool but then at the end you see the their empire state building it's just their empire it's their empire state building it's not as big as them obviously you know and you look at it it's just stairs to the top and it's not in an angle that's just unnatural like aliens put it type of thing yeah the steps are like a little you know I mean a little steep and it goes kind of straight up and guess who ran up to the top in a sprint say the life warrior the warrior my brother first oh yeah my your brother yeah Ilani and my brother got to the top first yeah and I was a good second and out and there was an English lady like in the ninth you know stair and she's bleeding and she's like these blokes just you know fell

on top of me these blocks yeah and then there's what there's like a rope because it's so steep yeah that you gotta climb you know it's not you know are you guys attached by some no no no no it's not that that like you know maybe it could possibly be dangerous you would get hurt you would get hurt if you fell yes yeah I think so you would die if you fell off the yeah off the sides of it all the sides yeah you would instantly die yeah you're right we would have all died we didn't sign a waiver and once I got to the top of that and Hugo was like we were like this has someone fallen off of here ever he goes yeah just yesterday and when you get to the top all you see is green green like for miles green trees but then you see if you're directly on top of the

fucking this mine temple and you look straight off to the left and right perfectly are these gigantic trees from miles away they're higher but those are other mine ruins but the trees have grown on top of them right and they're perfectly angled where you can see right directly in front of you one to the left one to the right so they I mean I don't know if they had topographers back then but it's impressive it's fucking impressive this civilization and um after we were done that was it were you really I mean it it looked like you were having the time of your life from where I was standing you really seem to enjoy it yeah because I've never done it before but I'll never do it again but it was great what do you mean I mean it wasn't like you know I didn't have a spiritual

awakening I was just like I was more proud of like oh you're not dead I was like a triathlon my point is that sometimes you got to allow life to surprise you and that's not gonna happen unless you step out of your home um star dude valley it surprises me oh that game is evil I actually started playing myself you did too yeah I've been playing soccer 16 hours nonstop every day oh if you guys don't know about this game it's called star dude valley it's a farm simulation game you get an xbox playstation has it mostly the computer people played on the computer and it is if you like simulation games and you like rpg elements oh my god it's the greatest thing I've ever played I really believe that it's the best game I've ever made I have more fun

playing this game not in fallout yeah that's the ultimate rpg it's more satisfying because it's fallout things things do grow but it's like in a different kind of way here it's like there's some strategy involved there's um a lot of creativity in terms of layout but there's all these you really like just charming cute things that happen in the game yeah it's just a cute really good game you know I I finally made it to calico desert how's it different from like the sims well the sims from what I recall I haven't played in years but it's like you're in a neighborhood you're basically in your own house no rpg elements there's no rpg elements no adventure just simulation yeah there's things that happen in star dude valley that you go oh my god you

thought of that you know like you just you can think this guy you see his art piece and you see oh this guy thought it through oh that's fucking cute you get to own a cat yeah not a cat you have cows a chicken who's your girlfriend what's your name I don't have a girlfriend yet nobody I thought you said penny was your I've been giving penny diamonds but oh you get to like create relationships and oh you know you have get married and have kids yeah yeah I've been courting Emily you haven't gotten married yet oh he's met Emily I think no because I'm too busy making money and upgrading my house and doing the real shit all right what kind of sword do you have I have the galaxy sword the number one sword I've just got that bug one that you get for free yeah I'm still I'm in year two

I'm into your year too I had the galaxy sword anyway I'm about to get married Emily you know I gave her a bouquet I actually got a dance at the spring festival that was so exciting because the first year I got denied for the dance at the spring festival then I figured out how to do it you know the second spring festival you know what I did never even get went fuck it making money he was really upset because there was like a community function and then you had to contribute to making soup and he didn't have any ingredients so he put tree bark so you're done with festivals and so his community or his festival the people like turn against you right because they're like why did he put tree bark in our soup well they almost killed the governor yeah I know but there's

this thing what I like about the game is is that when you're in the mines every once in a while this thing called the strange bun you'll drop you can eat it it's got you know it helps you their health and whatnot but there's this thing in this game if you take the strange bun and you go into Vincent's room there's a kid named Vincent and you put the strange bun inside his green cabinet and you get a reward and what you get is the funniest thing I've ever seen what is it I don't know what it is but I mean I have it why is it so funny it's basically just a green glob a green glob statue that's like you put in your house it's pretty high and it's just a melting green looks like a man right but it's just solid green and it's the middle of my bedroom I love it but there's

all these cute little weird things in there that you're like oh that's fucking cool you know I did something happened to me today where Gunther the museum guy came to my house and he said um oh well you know now you know the city another city is giving us a reward you did such a great job because it's all filled almost and he gave me a rusty key I don't know where it goes but it's a key to the city that's like a big deal right I know it's a rusty key for to open something oh that's a whole adventure yeah so my point is is that if you like but it's also the graphics are like Zelda it's 80 Zelda the graphics are like 80s cute you know pixelate almost pixel mm-hmm oh it sucks you in because you always I'll just play one day and then it's like oh but tomorrow's the next thing

happened and tomorrow's going to be somebody's birthday that I have to give them a like a gift so that like I get to be double friends yeah yeah and then like oh the next festival's coming oh and then I hope it rains so that I can get like go fishing for a walleye so it sucks even like very easily yeah because there's always little things that you can like complete and that it opens more of the world yeah yeah and also there's millions of things to do so you have like 15 things in your head that you have to do I gotta get this seed fall is almost here I gotta prepare for that you know my layout of my land yeah so there's just a million things I gotta go to the mine it's silver you know I need it I'm almost out of copper man I'm always fighting to get copper

I have enough battery packs now because you can now make you can also make things crafting which is what you love I love crafting yeah so it's if you if you like games guys fucking get it you know but I'm glad I'm back though it'll suck you in yeah it'll suck you in but I'm glad I'm back and um I just feel pretty good I you know I might stroke out don't say that you know but I have pains my my shoulder and my neck well blood pressure is high I've been taking the fucking blood pressure medication he went from going vegetarian for 20 days to regulations just straight up eating red meat every day yeah and now he's paying the price but are you also paying the price you know she didn't go back yeah well you've had diarrhea and all day right oh I have

a stomach flu right now but there's nothing to do with my diet I just caught a bug I'm sorry what that you have that oh thank you I feel awful right now I'm sorry for my bathroom because I went in in there like an hour quick reversal oh my god what it was just deep the smells it's you know what because it's you it was that cave because it's you and it's so cute and I love you so much that it smells good you have to stop coming in while I'm in the middle of taking a shit how do you sense that that's a lot of door well I feel like she was a crack open to do if you if you're taking a shit if you're taking a shit close the fucking door I closed the door no you didn't there's always a crack where I can look in and I see you but why did you have to come in he's

a curious little you know you love the smell of it that's the problem I do like bad smells I'm addicted to bad smell why I like farts I like when my dog's fart I like my dog's bad breath I like um any kind of poo like I won't do you cup your own fart and smell it oh yeah yeah do you yeah I learned it from my dad I think it's yeah well I cup my farts yeah yeah time my shoe and then cup farts cup farts yeah it's a cultural thing George yeah no I cup farts primarily not to smell but to control the sound oh yours is out of necessity yeah so if I'm about to fart in bed if I can get my arm around it because I have such little t-rex arms because I'm so fat now I can't reach my own cup his own butt but if I angle it right right I can get my hand back there

and what I do is I with one hand I spread my cheeks oh okay I was gonna ask okay right but forming a cup a little bit I wish I could do that you mean I don't I have to use two hands with but and I I open up the you know the hole the hole the anus and it goes through yep and when in Rome I smell it when in Rome Rome every single time though Rome's every time every day I smell my my brother and I like to pick things and eat it off our bodies you know I just did um Steve's podcast yeah and this is exactly what we talked about what what the whole Lee brother phenomenon of wanting to smell shit what like liking gross things yeah like I do this I'll open my mouth for while direct the air into my nose you have a technique a handless technique

yeah I go it's like bluetooth yeah and that's so ugly what you do she stop yeah that's your normal just to check your breath when nobody's watching yeah yeah like that and it smells um he doesn't have surprisingly he doesn't have bad breath very often mm-hmm I could smoking and um you know these jewels are like a lifesaver man I'm gonna tell you right now who have you been running into at the coffee shop well you know I've been running into this last month I've been running into all kinds of fucking people and people that I'm fans of that's cool you know when I was at I would do I'm doing this animated movie for Sony so I it's me John Cho you know who else is in it is the kid that we had here Jimmy oh yeah oh yeah when I play thugs in it so Asian cast

all Asian cast is cool bd Wong people yeah and then um so I was doing some sessions and I was sitting there vaping and this old man walked by me and I look up and he smiled and he nodded and I went I nodded and in my head I'm like oh fuck that's Steven Spielberg oh that's right we talked about yeah yeah so that happened yeah and then huge right a block away I don't want to tell people where I live but there's a coffee it's like a coffee shop right yeah and this is bougie the twice already this week I've walked by it or inside it and I ran into Christopher Nolan and his kid he talked to him no because he's with this kid and also you can't just what this fool gets love your movies big fan every fucking day that's true so he has already automatic responses

to those things yeah like when people say to me can I get a photo I immediately see us yeah let's do quick you know so I just do a quick and then you know I have you have your standard responses ready always right so the in order to actually like break conversation with somebody like that he's also the greatest director of right now working amazing I mean the dude is so gifted okay so that's a good question my question is the only how do you properly like I'll tell you how you do it how do you capture his attention without getting a standard response number one you have to pretend you don't know who he is oh I don't like when people do that no you don't do it in like an obvious kind of way you know what are you what do you do no you don't do that no you do it as a

like just you're a nice guy your nice guy trying to you know chat you know I'm a guy that says hi to everyone kind of a thing and you got to find an angle and the only angle that I can see because he's British yeah is soccer so if he wore like a man any kind of man you pen pen on his like because he's he wears like you know a nice he's always wearing suits all the time man so if you had a pin of arsenal then that's my angle oh dude what do you think of a bobbying the new signing okay hold on one second what but the way you saw him today was he didn't have that pin he didn't have anything that you have no way in so what is your angle you have no angle yes no there is no way you have to have a pin yeah you have to have an angle if you don't have an angle don't even try like

juda juda avatar like when he started doing stand up again yeah right I had to think of an angle what was your angle stand up right well not only stand up no it was just I I brought up something that I had seen in Texas something that he would be curious about so I brought that up and then we were able to have a conversation and then we became friends you know you can't just raw dog it you know you have to think it through that interesting oh yeah just raw dog Christopher Nolan yeah yeah why law yeah you got to protect yourself use protection yeah your ego so it's like there there's always you know and people that are the masters of life have found angles they're able to get into people's world you know there's a lot like that is you may or may not like him is Dean

Delray Dean Delray he's a stand-up he's an older guy he's a friend of mine he's he started stand-up in his late 40s and he's in people's worlds and he's a master angler he's a master angler he's at Mark Marin's house he's hanging out with Bill Burr he's hanging out with all these people he's a very funny stand-up very nice guy but he's also has a gift of that there's a lot of guys you know there's a lot of guys in comedy that just have a promotional gift you know they that might not be the greatest stand-up comics or even particularly interesting but they're good at schmoozing but they're not even schmoozing they're good at promoting themselves they're good at amassing emails I feel like I mean I have I don't know I think that that is necessary to a degree

but not to the point where people are just outright insincere I I do think that your work should always speak for itself and should get you to the front of the line and not your your mouth do you know what I mean there's too many guys that I know though that are super talented that will never make it because they lack that that's what I'm saying they lack they lack not only do they lack that they don't have any of those gifts I have certain gifts that I have and it's kept me afloat yeah but there are some guys they're really great stand-ups and performers they can do it but off-camera or offstage they just don't have the skill of making friends and having people fall in love with them and all that stuff or maybe they don't want to play that game

it's no bill burr does is a guy that doesn't play games at all but he's still able to have something that he has and he has he has like a he's likable you know you know he has a hometown regular guy demeanor about him that's really just charming you know time to grow our guest last week has that just a charming hometown regular guy kind of a thing but that's their angle yeah so everyone's got an angle then well not everyone like I said there are people that don't have one can you be successful without without being an angler or do you have to have some angling to you I think you need some I need and you need to have there are I mean I want to speak his name up there's a guy that I know that people know who he is he's he's done well for himself I don't particularly like him

we've had fights before this guy when he's not performing he's just a poisonous guy he's walks around and not only does he not know how to build bridges just by his presence deteriorates them foundations and there's he's not even aware of he just walks around and people just go P you okay this guy is so funny on stage I mean that's a prime example of somebody that is being himself but he has no angle I kind of respect that okay well good if you're just being like sincerely and genuinely your raw self and you're not trying to play the game but you he that person that can also not complain if he's not getting where he needs to go yeah here I'm going to give you an example of why you're wrong I'm not arguing with you I'm just telling you

what my point is you're right I agree with you as a right okay if I'm playing being myself being myself is this okay if I wasn't doing stand-up and I was in the library which would never happen but let's just suppose in the scenario that I'm in a library right the most impossible scenario and some guy walks by me and goes great book right which I would never have a book if you do it's upside down upside down right and it's a coloring book it's a color all right upside down upside down pull coloring book and he goes great book I'd be like this like uh uh and then just move on yeah right in comedy great set thanks man man you do stand up too yeah oh cool man keep at it that it's not that's not me

but I do it that's my a that's an angle that's a way of doing it so that you don't come off being if I was really myself it's over okay it's fucking over I don't respond like what I respond in the real world I'm just a weird quiet kind of a guy who you know I know how to do comedy and whatnot but it's like you know you I have to do things go to a party I don't want to no I'm definitely agreeing with you I think that if you this is your career and you have to conduct yourself as a businessman yeah and I think that you should learn to do that in a way that seems most genuine to you without selling yourself you know selling your soul in a way that's like you know like insincere I agree but you are a businessman essentially especially if you're at your workplace

your you need masks you know you need to have five or six masks that you put on that kind of looks like you but you know that you use as a that's your work you that's your business yeah exactly cater to the situation there are people that just don't have any masks they just have them and they don't you know it's and it's like I I think that well I thought you were just you know I wasn't disagreeing with you my question was sort of like can someone get to the top without having like any type of you know like desire to engage with other people or are there any comics that were just good at stand up and that's it so fucking good that they never had to even so much to say hey good set oh you too you do stand up like you know they don't

even have to engage with even that like I mean there are some guys that are like super good that are super famous that I know that I know deep down inside they just don't care for my brand of comedy or i.e. or not but or slash care for my personality or me in general okay as a whole but I can see them right yeah come up to me and go what's up man you good they're like yeah man things are good all right dude and then you just kind of move on yeah I can see them putting on a mask that they don't want to fucking put on but they do it because it's usually at the comedy store that's where that's I have a lot of power there and they're just doing it you know to survive you know but if I we were just regular guys at a park you know which I would

never be at if you want to have a coloring book upside down but let's suppose I was a regular guy was at a park yeah and there was a guy that didn't like me or didn't like anything about me he wouldn't say hi you know because that's him that's him being himself but sometimes you have to go what's up bro you know there there's a guy at the store right now he's he doesn't go up I don't know where he's from like Atlanta or something he's just loud and annoying and he kind of looks homeless even and he looks older too like it's just a weird kind of a guy and he would say hi to me every single fucking time I went to the comedy store hey man what's up dude buddy or whatever you would do and one day I said to somebody go yo is that guy funny and he said he kind of is

right what personality I know you know and I and so he goes what's up man usually because before I wouldn't even acknowledge him oh god so I go oh hey champ oh hey champ hey buddy boy you're fine yeah you know whatever yeah really corny yeah I don't really something corny but I acknowledged his presence you know because I'm like you know you know you know so in your mind it's like he might be like big one day or well it's it's like some of those comics that in the 90s where there was a bunch of girls hitting the scene when I started there was an influx of just really attractive funny girls starting to do stand up there was also another group of guys that had that old school mentality that generally women aren't funny and they treated these girls

like dog shit I mean I can name I'm not gonna name any names could I could and I'm not gonna name any you know you know calling one out but what ended up happening was these girls made it all of them big stars these guys that were bullies and they you're right a lot of them didn't make it but they were trying to get jobs on these girls shows and whatever right and it just obviously didn't work out right so you know my you know in anything especially in a business that where communication and being you know relationships are important I've just and this is a new thing for me this is not something that I used to do but my general rule now is just be nice to everybody and participate and participate in participation in things you know so you know

I'm in my 40s and I learned maybe learned it too late but um you know I want to talk about something that we noticed about the hypocrisy of Instagram oh yeah what happened yeah so I had a photo on Instagram with Kalyla it's been on there for years it's basically I'm naked the cigarette but she's covering my genitals with her hands yeah okay okay you don't see any sack no ball balls nothing no butt no boobs no nothing and it got yanked about three weeks ago and then I checked if you go to um stevo's page there's essentially a video of a naked woman on top of him or even like videos of his dick out with his sock everything like basically as risque yeah and none of it seems to be taken down like I think there's a lot of like you see a lot of you know chicks that you know

their their whole identity is nude photos or so by and I came to the conclusion that white people can get away with nudity on Instagram and I think that there is something that there is something about an asian man being naked that they don't accept and that's just I guess the people because they're the ones that mark it right well I think that what my other theory is this is that somebody that that doesn't like me probably a comic or somebody like that keeps that just keeps complaining or flagging it and then they were like it got flagged too many times and they yanked it I don't know because I've seen straight up titties I know but those aren't those titties aren't flagged I mean it's hard like for instance our flag like I have friends who don't who don't have as big of

accounts as you right and their shit gets flagged because for instance our friend Jenna she had a picture of a woman a black woman breastfeeding or was it breastfeeding yeah and it was a really pretty post shit got taken down because her nipple was out but I've seen just other women there's models that are just naked no as long as you have any type of covering it's fine I saw a lady who has a big profile and she has a photo of her as like a three-year-old girl and she's completely naked you know a kid like in a bathtub or whatever yeah yeah when I did that it got yanked in a day it did I'm telling you there is something people are not okay with seeing a I think they're not okay with seeing nudity in the minority I think there's something either

appalling that forces them to flag it and for Instagram to respond faster maybe that we're just paranoid and we're trying to fucking play victim right now perhaps but this is just a pattern that him and I have noticed but not only that the photo that they yanked three weeks ago is not bad at all it's not there's nothing showing other than showing his it's there could have been a fucking cup over his dick which there was you know what I mean yeah yeah I mean I don't know how anybody could just be also hate you like you said I always go to I always go to the paranoia idea that there are people out to get me I don't think so what do you think George George like I flagged it no idea I don't know it depends on their system why don't we try and repost it yeah I don't know

how about you post the same picture George on your profile I'll just do the same thing yeah how many followers do you have uh 4,000 now that's pretty wow that's pretty dandy look at this guy yeah there was a day of me and George we both texted each other because we're like uh did you just get 2,000 likes and we're like I think Bobby bought us I swear to god I've never over 3,000 of them are real yeah I mean I have bought followers for people oh we know that but um just not us yeah uh we have a caller who we do who okay well this guy tell the story Clila while you call George I don't usually reply to anyone on Twitter she doesn't I don't um but what is who's this guy but this guy tweeted me the other day and he said this he said I wish

okay sorry I know he has a kid he said I wish Bobby Lee and Clila were my friends they seemed super fun so I had a wild hair up my butt that day so I tweeted back saying we are your friends what's your phone number we'll call you so I'm going to keep my word oh my god so we're going to call him now now now go now speaker phone please all right speaker phone it speaker phone it hello hello hello hello you hang up on him yeah come on call him back you got to teach him a lesson now no no dude don't call him back for a while no no no no wait a minute no no no no you have to learn how to do this you gotta respect young yeah yeah yeah George if you call him back right away I want to be fewer no George you call me like you're on hold it just let him listen to

this yeah give me the phone real quick I'll call him I'll call him all right we're not calling him back give me the phone I just want him to sit I just want him to sit in it for a second okay should we go to the unhelpful advice question then yeah go to the unhelpful hold on he just texted what the fuck I'll text him oh he's saying what the I'll text him I'm sorry it's a joke call him back I'm calling him now baby you're freaking out I don't know let him see what he says though yeah hang up on to get hang of the volume up make sure it's up cool trying to be funny trying to be funny he says call me back please he's crying is it 970 oh he's not picking up he's probably trying to text he's probably trying to text it takes a second

it takes a second because it's google oh man he went with the big guy you can't do that you're talking to the slut came back please leave your message oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh you call again oh wait yeah call oh he's calling he's calling how do you do it how do you do it here here do this use my phone use my phone here hello to accept press one to send a voicemail this is classic this is tiger bell hello hello hey hey yeah yeah you said the other thing that and then I got angry I hung out I know but you know me you can't do that every time every time like even if you said it right now I'll hang up on it okay all right so I guess we're calling to tell you that Kalylan are saying that um that we're your friend and don't you worry kiddo

yeah uh what's your name bud josey I have something to tell you josey yeah yeah yeah yeah you get it yeah we are yeah we are papaya you are the papaya yeah anyway um tell me about yourself um my name is Jose lejos I live in colexica which is a border town with mexico yeah it's kind of like you know how you're from you're from katoi yeah um you know how sign tito is border town with um jay yeah well it's similar like that but we're not as big as uh sign tito obviously but yeah but what what what's the town called again colexica colexica but what's the mexican town called mexicali mexicali are there on where what do you go to mexicali ever yeah yeah maybe like once a month what do you get there fireworks um yeah during during christmas

season yeah and stuff like that yeah yeah and you have a baby is that what you're saying is that was that right um i have a son he's nine oh congratulations dude it's nine years ago nine years ago i mean nine years late yeah yeah um have you ever said yeah go ahead go ahead i'm a huge fan since the mat not two days oh thanks man it's an honor to have you it's an honor to even be talking to you right now colexica i mean hosey you know and you know what i've been doing stand-up i've been doing um this is my third time i do stand-up yeah um locally and um just because then when i used to watch the like mat tv and stuff like that you know i was like maybe like 11 years old yeah to like think oh i could do stand-up so because we were so awful you're like i can do whatever they're doing you know is that what it is well anyway hosey okay but anyway uh yeah who am i saying hi do

what's up bro oh it's his son how you doing bro okay bye bye bye guys i love you guys nice to be done okay our phone calls are always the weirdest thing but people love it yeah well you know i'm not good at them what phone call yeah when i'm on the road i hate talking that's right well no that's what do you mean you and i talk on the phone just yeah but i yeah it's i had to learn how to do it but give me the question man that was nice thanks for uh picking up hosey i think he might be the first caller that's ever like picked up that's true yeah yeah on helpful advice with bobby hello tiger belly crew first off i'd like to say i love love love your podcast it gets me

through my two hour morning commute to work every day you guys are the best please keep my pictures and name hidden here's my story i found out my husband was on ashley madison in parentheses that horrible fucking affair website oh yeah and it broke me into a million pieces i confronted him about it and he said it was spam i know he was lying though because i saw the profile through the email a notification popped up on the computer he had his picture and his information all on it i deleted it i feel like i pushed him to do it i'm clinging and i have self-esteem issues and i'm on the heavier side this last week i lost about 10 pounds because i've been so stressed and i can't even bring myself to eat we used to be so happy after his mom

passed away in august last year he hasn't been the same we barely have sex anymore and whenever we do have sex i'm the one to initiate it he says he loves me but the attraction isn't there and he says it's because i'm on the heavier side i don't know what to do i can't bring myself to leave him again thank you tiger belly crew i love you guys here's my picture of me and my husband heartbroken filipina we'll call her m that's sad i'm so sad the picture i just sent to you you everything she's very pretty that's the guy they're they're a very cute couple yeah they're cute couple she's that's not what she wants to hear hold on just just to be clear he's not out of your league and you're not out of his league like you guys are 100 if i saw that no there's no you

guys are very even and equally matched yeah and i'm gonna say this is that i mean let's just be honest that's he's cheating he did cheat of course it's actually madison yeah that's cheating i think there's something problematic about the fact that she said i drove him to do that like yeah i think that he's either gaslighted her to the point where now she believes like she's to blame for his wrongdoings and you got to get out of that mindset he is his own person and he led him there no one pushes anyone to do anything he might be unhappy but your unhappiness is your own dude like don't blame that shit on your partner and don't it he did that you didn't do that it's he did that it's a character defect it's it's something that dudes do that everyone women too yeah but specifically

dudes for me when they do i have guys that i know that do that um i just completely think it's i just don't like i mean i don't like it it's it's it's a big flaw a character flaw um i don't know what i mean this is probably more your area of expertise because no yeah because what i would say is i would say slowly get out of it i agree i agree and i think that a man who makes you feel like you're inadequate to sleep with because you're on the heavier side is a horseshit it's horseshit that's absolute horseshit be with someone who who wants to be with you with whatever fucking if that's your life partner we all change shapes eventually that's just someone who's going to be your life partner he needs to love you in whatever way that you come um and also i think

that he's he's made you believe you're worthless and you're totally not from the looks of the picture you're a very pretty girl yeah i agree right yeah i just think that that's just dishonest behavior and and then he lied about it he wasn't mad enough she had to you know do more and and the sadder part is that she accepted the lie and blaming it like he doesn't know that she knows fully what you know what i mean like he's not aware of how much she knows but he's her self-esteem is probably solo so i think that you should probably go speak to somebody you know find a way to love yourself again focus on that and you know i think that this is not this this person's not healthy for you yeah it's sad to say but it is did she say she was in recovery too or no no

yeah i'm sorry lady my lady friend friends or if she says that we used to be so happy you can still find that so if if this is you know his mom just died maybe he's just going off the deep end and being reckless and not able to like cope with his emotions and maybe you need to be the one to tell him to address those feelings so you can get back to those happier days but also while you're taking care of him take care of yourself and do expect that he take care of you in return too like take care of each other man up yeah he's got a man up yeah i thought that made me sad yeah me too it was a really sad ending to our podcast yeah is there another one that's a little happier isn't actually madison like mostly fake accounts anyway so he probably didn't do

anything but he did like you know like what he tried to there was intent i think the intention is what hurts it's enough whether or not you're successful with that with the intent but it's just whether what is important to her right that would hurt me if i found body on ash let's say you found me on a website that was looking for an affair yeah but to me am i i think that you could do it get somebody without it oh without getting on the website you mean yeah but this is more like there's a contract of secrecy like this is i i i honestly believe that i would know yeah i think you would i don't think that i would be very good at asking that yeah and i don't think that if you think that i would do that and be able to mask it um now no yeah okay there there we go

yeah okay there we go um i trust you 100 i also want to say this so real quick before i forget that um we got a gift in today from austin w yep i at idab and he got me a 30 pack of um dream water and i really appreciate it that's the ultimate gift the ultimate gift for me i really appreciate him god bless you and me you know you know how churches ask for um offerings yeah collection this is what it is for tiger belly so i bless you with 20 um pyramids oh damn it's a lot is that our currency or tiger giving away pyramid we gave you 20 gold and solid gold pyramids you don't know what life you'll get it in but you're gonna get them you're gonna get them not in this life you just don't yeah you don't know yeah probably in the ninth life specifically the yeah but you are solid

figurine pyramids no they're the size of egyptian pyramids solid gold i don't fuck around wow walk in that worth they are worth billions of dollars yeah you know and i just gave you how many of them nine how many do i have left i have a thousand 20 that's 20 billion dollars worth of gold pyramid i have 2 000 left so that's just you know 20 out but thank you so much austin i'll this weekend also i think i'm do i need the help in chicago push that i'm playing i'm playing the schaumburg improv this weekend what's wrong schaumburg improv yeah with jade catapretta and um it should be good and uh again march 27th um splitting up together premieres after rules and yeah and we also are premiering the next night after that after modern family we got we need the whole tiger belly

watch it community family to i want to also it's not you're not going to watch it go oh bobby was hilarious in it i it's it's one of those acting things where i'm just kind of act i feel like i'm just acting just do us a solid and just either be interested or watch it is there a hashtag people should use and even if you hate the show just watch it is there a hashtag for the numbers for the ratings no they're gonna like it it's a great no i mean yeah i liked it i i think it's a great show but and only that it's people i mean the warner brothers and also abc are like this is amazing so they everyone's behind it so it is optimistic i'm not going into it's not like it's not weird you know so it's and if it doesn't if it gets canceled what i still don't go there

yeah i still have tiger belly i still have things you know it doesn't make me who i am i'm not identified by the slept king is slept king you know watch it to see what bobby acts like why yeah yeah oh what if i could completely change what do you mean like if it became a gigantic hit i feel like you would change oh my god that makes me so fucking angry i feel like i feel like you would start flogging us just me there's no flogging going on man he's flogged us before i would flog you i don't know what it means that's i would do it i would do it i don't know let me google it get back to me flog gay yeah um but hey guys again um we've learned so much today with nosotros papaya the amiconduit of love um i got this dreamwater myons and uh stardew valley we've talked about to loom

mexico we talked about all kinds of stuff um we have got some great guests coming up guys and i just want to thank you for being on this journey with us and what does that say okay give it to me i can't read it that's my job hug you on that's why hug you on steve yes i think that means i am on the steve webe show this week when does it come out george uh it'll be out the same day this is out on audio so you're if you're listening on audio it's uh same day it'll be up on win wednesday at 11 and um this episode was not a dog episode like the first time i was on a show the first time i was in a show i was so confused i was like why are we just talking about dogs yeah um but but this one we got a lot a little bit deeper we went a little

bit deeper so it was a lot of fun so make sure that you guys uh listen to that one as well youtube.com slash steve webe yes thank you did we have any announcements george uh kim i gotta break away for a second i'm gonna call you dark george dark dark side george um i don't have any right now no any shout outs anything god i feel like shit um when he we were wrapping up just there i i burped up some vomit oh fuck yeah i had to swallow it back in have you only been just drinking water today no i tried to have soup and then i just vomited out i have some weird like my joints hurt and uh i don't know what the fuck is going on yeah i feel like you said you had yesterday trader joe's dried coconut and then you had which i love uh like a breakfast at a place don't name them i'm not gonna

name them but i when you said that i was like it's probably that it's probably not the package cheddar joe's okay but why would it be them when they have fresh ingredients well you can still get like contaminated arugula because i'm assuming you've got maybe an omelet with mushrooms or no an omelet tell me tell me exactly what i got gilbert it's definitely a $15 omelet at that specific place yes omelet with mushrooms there is a cheese on there what kind i'm gonna say is it agree no she said uh it's uh uh come on people go the cheese it's a goat cheese with a mushroom and you don't like onions so i like onions just they make me for it yeah but the other one yeah that thing in there it's without sundry tomatoes we're talking about green onions are not in that it is a nothing

else okay just mushrooms and goat cheese you know what though you got the right tomato avocado avocado on top sundry tomatoes sometimes yeah god see gilbert knows me i feel like you probably got sick from the sides out there yeah because that's something could have been bad in that thing yeah oh god i feel like shit but um i'm glad we got through this yeah very proud of myself yeah you're fine you didn't suffer the vomiting at the end and eating it i'm gonna go with that uh do you have any announcements any shout outs anything important about human uh saving the world do you want to mention uh you're our spokesperson for humanitarian work oh my god you are so you better have something good shut up save the whales in saboo what are we doing um save the whales save

the whale sharks um that's never gonna get shut down though sign the petition to shut down the whale shark operation in oslob saboo i kind of feel sad about that because a lot of people are making a good living like once fishermen are now making like a great living because of the tourism but also aren't the whales fucked now or if you probably stopped that they'd be so confused or they go back to their natural it's like they you know i it it fucks with their natural like pattern of living they're and now whale sharks from other areas are coming in and because they're just getting fed krill you know it's sad they're not like wild animals anymore yeah um oh my mom thinks i'm famous now did i tell you oh really recognize well first first we went well we went to the woodfield mall

since the nursery convention was in schomburg love that mall so we walked by the empire like we're walking in at the improv entrance yeah and i like point up oh there's bobby's name and my mom was like wow i didn't know this this was so amazing you know somebody who's on like nameless and the thing that we walked in about like 15 minutes later there's some asian asian kid is like george from tiger belly yeah and my mom's eyes are just like so big like what she was talking about the whole rest of the day what do you think your mom would say about the content of this show um i tell her not to listen just to know that we're doing good things we open that door we're doing god's work i like your mom i think she's a very very chill lady and she's also very motherly and

nice and when i met her i was like oh wow i wouldn't i wouldn't mind being adopted by her your dad's dad's funny too yeah my dad's always trying to show the videos to people and then my mom is i'm like not in front of my mom because she's just she's just very midwestern so it's like everything like she's the type of person that she'll go oh sh and then catch yourself yeah but it's to say shoot oh because anything that would have an explanation explanation point at the end of it is a bad word for her yeah oh so it's like very but she's cool with like you know she's like i'm like it's a different culture you know but i also think different cultures and she's very like okay just i won't watch it but i'm proud of you for doing what you do for but i didn't feel like i

had to censor myself around her either like she seems just totally chill yeah but you're really good at putting mask on in different situations no i swear to you was i not completely myself around her like i can usually gauge if i have to put that mask on and around his parents i mean you know you always say they're very like conservative and stuff but i never got that vibe that they would sit there and judge anything not judgmental it's just my mom's very yeah she's very she doesn't like bad words that's basically you know it held my tongue that is that yeah because i do have a potty mouth yeah yeah on that um guys make sure you follow us on tiger belly on the instagram at tiger belly give us a bunch of follows on there if you not are not already uh you can

hit us up on twitter maybe collider will tweet you back it's very rare but it sometimes happens so make sure you follow us on twitter at the tiger belly oh we have a vlog this week oh yeah it's from seriously three months ago uh it'll be up yesterday it'll be up yesterday yes so make sure that you watch your vlog as well and i have another one lined up it's the mexico vlog but that's not till next week and then also make sure you email us any questions or concerns to the tiger belly at gmail.com you can follow george on all social media at uh just instagram george underscore kimmel get it up to five thousand please wow oh uh we haven't done any uh asked for any itunes reviews guys we're uh we haven't done this in a long time that's right guys i have a perfect we have a

perfect score so thank you to everyone who has yes if you haven't already if you love this podcast you listen to it and you haven't already please leave us a review on itunes it really does help us out it bumps us up on the charts there's other podcasts that are we're bigger than them but they got uh they're higher up because of the views or reviews guys come on help us out it's an algorithm i think it's um how does it work it's like reviews downloads and there's three things that they consider but we're tiger belly we don't care about the numbers yeah but for sure delete all other and then callado you can follow her on all social media at calamity k and make sure you flag all her photos with bobby's crotch being covered i think that we should re upload i think that

bobby should um post that picture again just to see it happen i'm not against any any form of nudity at all i love looking at naked bodies on instagram male or female i just think that if you're gonna allow some allow all and you should allow my portly asian boyfriend to show his pubes if he fucking wants if he wants to let him do it right and check out the show altered carbon i just saw it's great uh i didn't it didn't get good reviews but i gotta watch it support the five asians in it okay yeah yeah yeah yeah it's actually like yeah it's like think of blade runner but just for tv i like the concept concepts cool yeah i'll watch it watch it guys sorry watch it they got great reviews bye guys bye love our names and this also see the whales save the whales

hey prime members you can listen to tiger barely ad free on amazon music download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey