TigerBelly - Episode 132: Will Sasso is our Precious Diamond

Episode Date: March 7, 2018

Will is Mystique. Bobo is a jellyfish. We talk shark games, mind minerals, a Shakespearean betrayal, Canadian math, and Ronaldo Chappelle.Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. You're listening to another episode of Tiger Belly. Welcome to another episode of Tiger Belly. Welcome to another episode of our Tiger Belly. Everybody. Everybody, thanks for listening again to another episode of this podcast. We've got me. We got Kalaila.

We've got Kalaila. We've got Gilbert we got George and we've got thin lips fucking serial killer Magoo back here fuck face Magoo and he's like killing it right now with his fucking beady fucking killer eyes I love it and we have a special guest but before I even get into that you know I I I want to congratulate J peel Jordan peel who is also been on our podcast he won an Oscar last night so give him a round of applause everybody I texted him and then he liked my text so I didn't really get a response but you know when someone likes your text it's

not you know it's not like a response but it's it's kind of a fuck you but not yeah yeah I mean it's kind of like I have to respond but I'm not gonna actually put words in yeah but that's fine he's busy last night Oscar he probably responded to Keegan though he probably responded to Keegan and Ike Bernholz probably but anyway congratulations Jordan I love it was really big deal and I got really emotional they aired my pilot my trailer for my sitcom a couple times that's fine I look pretty good on television myself but my point is is this we have a very special guest now listen I've asked this

guy to do our podcast many times before but he's always I'm in fucking Canada or I'm shooting something in France or some shit and I had done his podcast a million times ten minute podcast with him Brian Callan and he just wants me to fucking say his name but anyway but before I even say his name though I want to say this though too is that when I first got on the mad TV this guy was a senior cast member on the show and really I didn't really get a really good response from the senior cast members except for this guy this guy got my number we hung out he was very welcoming to me when he's a good guy I

fucking told you not fucking say anything you're fucking drumrollin it's not gonna be worth it in the end all right will sass everybody welcome to the tiger belly Oscar wrap up yeah I'm very happy to be here are you really though absolutely I've always wanted to do your podcast and I happen to be out of town I've never been to France I was probably in Atlanta or something yeah shooting something right yeah so your your your the trailer for your new show was on TV yeah I did catch a little bit of the Oscars but last night I was in my native Canada I was hanging out with my parents I was at their house and we

have Canadian tire commercials and that sort of thing all right so that's that's fine I wasn't I didn't say I didn't see what's the name of your new show it doesn't matter no but don't do that it doesn't really matter you do this show and I love you and Cali and nobody ever it's called splitting up together and I think they're gonna I think they're gonna be okay those two yeah those kids are gonna be fine yeah yeah and what do you play I play the gook no I play that's my name in it gook oh it's the name yeah yeah yeah yeah I have a rice hat when you know me those Vietnam rice hats yeah yeah that's great no I play shot by a

soldier every episode at the end of every episode they just pull a gun to your head style you know that dramatic picture that right we do is year hunter saying we do the fucking gun you know yeah it just what do they call that Russian roulette yeah which is who invented that game is that fun a game yeah but they yeah but back then the way they made games was that they would be like games would be like gladiator games right and then a tiger eats you from the inside out it's not necessarily a game to the people playing it's a game to the people watching oh right so the like kings and queens or like people

that are in charge yeah they go let's watch a game yeah what game should we watch basketball no hasn't been invented yet but even the Mayan basketball if you lost you get your balls chopped off right yeah the winner gets killed because they can go right to heaven or wherever yeah it's an honor to to die and make it to the next level right I think that's missing from our modern-day sports I bet you money that teams would win more yeah if you got killed for if they knew that they they law if the in the NFL if they said that the last place team with the worst record they're all gonna die well if you think about it everybody

that wins a Super Bowl is always like hey I just want to thank our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ nothing would be possible without God blah blah blah and I'm heading home right now and just pull a gun out oh my god just as you're accepting the MVP award oh my god Nick Foles Godfair man yeah just like I'd watch every time my friend yeah congrats to me what is the rule of Russian roulette though you have like a handgun six chambers one bullet or is in the chamber yes and you spin it and you stick it to your thing no that's not Russian is that Russian Russian that's really Russian yeah you spin it I'm

thinking a fireball yeah what's the one where you walk away from each other then you turn and that's like gunslingers Western Western dual Western yeah Russian let us we spin and then you go first click yeah you're fine bam I lost it's you versus you yeah what a fucked up fucking game yeah would you be able to play if I said let's play one round a Russian roulette Gilbert would you do with me what are the stakes other than there's no life your life no no wrong answer yes a yes yeah yeah I think it's exhilarating if you don't lose though would you like you know how in South Africa yeah feels great off the

coast in South Africa there's that one island that's just infested with great white shark if they said hey will will give you a billion dollars if you swam 200 meters from this point to the boat no chain no chain link soot no nothing but it's infested with great white sharks I would do it on one condition if I could take a shower right before because I tend to smell like meat that's a good that's good yeah you know what I would do what I would just I think I would do it for a billion dollars yeah a lot of money I'll tell you why I wouldn't move much I would just let the current you know I would just flow be like a jelly

fish I would be like and they don't eat jelly they don't eat jelly I would like head do tentacles yeah I have the body for it too and they know they get stung if they ate you right yeah you for sure do not want to look like a dying fish you want to look like you're able to swim well I would yeah how about like just I go over that Halloween store in Hollywood Boulevard get a dolphin hat yes like a mask because they're afraid of dolphins right I just be a big fat they're afraid of dolphins yeah I get some really good paint like that stuff they put on Rebecca Romain yeah and I'd be an orca and I'd

no fucking problem right where's my money yeah and they'll be like oh really I dressed up like an orca but that's not but that shouldn't be a part of the challenge you should be completely naked because then I would like wear like armor and padding I would put I would wear like a mermaid bottoms but orca style like I have my hands in tight just the flippers yeah and then my my dick and balls I would paint them like one of those fish that stick themselves to the side maybe try to eat my sticker fish right but wouldn't try to eat me because I do usually go with mystique just go in there we like mystique and

they wouldn't fuck with that I'd look like a gigantic fishing lure right I don't want to be shiny that's true I would probably either that or Russian roulette what would you do I would do the shark thing you rather than a rush world yeah because one of the odds in the shark you could survive I mean have you ever seen those videos where they do like a prosthetic seal and they drag it with a boat and it's like 10 for 10 the shark goes for it really off the coast of South Africa yeah and they not only do they go for it the sharks breach so they jump up oh to get to God from under so they don't they never

attack sideways they always go from under because I did the cage in South Africa you did me or any atoms in bag wouldn't get in the water yeah because he was vomiting but he's Canadian yeah we Canadian the week though the the ocean there is very mellow yeah yeah yeah but when we were in the cage you literally go oh I don't see nothing yeah fuck it right yeah and you're still staying there and then all of a sudden you don't see it the great white yeah you feel it you can literally feel water good like really go through you and then you feel something from the bottom and when it comes up I'm not kidding you dude it is

fucking scary wow they don't look like I've been around tiger sharks and other sharks no no no not tiger sharks but what are the sharks are we in Hawaii we did Galapagos they gave ones what I want to know is what was this on fuse who watched that you and Orney Adams and Neon bag and was that like some sort of wacky no we were no ocean no we were coffee no we were in South Africa doing a comedy festival and we're out there for a couple of months oh yeah and then you know Ian and those guys are like a couple of months yeah we're there for two months why so we did like fucking 60 shows or something it was great what the

fuck kind of festival is it was like a stand-up thing and then they're just letting you swim with sharks they're like we got so many comedians they're here for no they give it I think they gave us the weekends off and then then we let there's some weekends where we didn't do anything and then some weekends people would plan things so we did a safari thing and then we did that's cool great white thing and yeah it was crazy yeah that great white thing was crazy yeah yeah why I was just curious what are you you question me like I was lying or some shit no I'm just I don't know what the fuck you do in South Africa go check

out black I want to thank you bro every show every show dude remember like when Matthew that was the demographic right sure that's all you would you would I would go to the West Covina Mall to get fucking recognized there you go yeah that that I don't know is that what is that near San Clemente no it's over there by Cindy of industry oh okay yeah yeah yeah and then you would go to the food court yeah and that's where it would happen that's well mobbed welcome that TV bro yeah yeah you come on that TV yeah yeah yeah and then you go to the Beverly Center nothing no nothing not zero kicking out of the water sir yeah

yeah but um and I want to sentiment a little bit but good what do it I want to oh is that a thumb drive it's a vape I quit smoking he's oh cool Bobby's got a thumb that is a thumb drive yeah you sure it is actually how you charge it to oh you can put it with USB all right yeah yeah that's cool but I want to thank you because you really I'm being real you're really nice to me what I we were buddies I understand that but you really brought me in and you were the only one that gave me the your number like I didn't talk to Mike McDonald for three years you know I don't think I ever really even talked to Stephanie Stephanie

where we're yeah she was a high and stuff but I just just definitely not very talk yeah Moe was nice was very nice Alex was very nice when she was very you know because she was leaving though yeah and I remember when Alex when I got on the show and she was like her last week oh yeah she goes this was the biggest mistake of your life doing the show really I go what she goes yeah you fucked up what and I go okay bye yeah yeah I mean that's what literally she pulled me aside and said that really Debra was nice everyone come on didn't Aries wasn't that nice I was very combative with me combative yeah you

probably had a lot of the same bits and sketches and stuff I don't know probably thought you were biting his shit you're really nice Stephanie is so super sweet I'm not saying they're not Moe's sweet yeah Moe's the sweetest person in the world no Moe was very nice yeah Moe's but you're the one that would call me like how are you and stuff like that I would never call you and be like I know but in my head yeah like you invited me to a party a couple parties yeah we were pals I think we were fast friends and then I betrayed you how did you betray me when you left and you called me a bunch of times I never called you back yeah

but that's just because you're you I called you for like two or three years and never heard back three years so I had more I two years let's say it was probably two years and then but every time I called you after a while I realized you were just would not get back to me so then I started leaving messages as Frank Caliendo's impersonation yeah or one time you answered and I was like yeah but that wasn't a Frank Caliendo impersonal thing it was just that's just the way I am and I just feel and I've tried to change that about myself like when we know it don't worry about everyone knows you're weird

no but I thought I think that it's we're better now you and I yeah we're good friends now yeah we're good friends now but we're both you know that was a long time ago we're both in our 50s that TV was like in the 80s 87 when did you join 89 I don't know not 89 not 89 91 I joined 2000 oh okay yeah I started that I was on the show but 1983 they just canceled Fridays yeah yeah Fox was brand new brand spanking new but married with children and Tracy Almond show was at your first Simpsons yet your first American TV show that you booked no no I was on was on a show before was on a couple things before that there were

American shows while I was still living in Vancouver because in Canada you booked a couple things a couple things right yeah yeah I was on a show in Canada for a few years yeah you do American movies while you're you know working and living in Canada yeah which was fun but when you got met was it was exciting right oh yeah yeah it was yeah because that was when you got on it was when it was the show was hot well the first two seasons Brian Callan was there and then after that yeah I joined and then you know Callan was I'm mad I didn't know that yeah first two years yeah he's one of the original cast members yeah oh Ryan

Callan was right and then you got on I think the the seasons that went kind of well were like four five six yeah seven is when I got on yeah then you guys had you guys had I don't think you guys got your do from the the the populous at large yeah we didn't yeah the comedy the comedy audience out there that also didn't know that we existed continued to not know that you guys existed yeah I continued to watch the show and thought you did a lot of very interesting stuff yeah yeah but it was when you were on it it didn't feel like I honestly did not feel like you were on a show what do you mean oh yeah yeah it didn't it doesn't

feel no when you go and show up and you and you you do rehearsals and you do all that it didn't feel like you thought I thought this is kind of at times get all yeah yeah I think it was a little more ghetto when we were doing it when you guys were there because I do remember I remember coming back to do like you know come back and do a couple sketches now and then and one of the times I came back it was like a year or two later and I remember the lights weren't on like on the yeah yeah yeah the guy who owned and ran the show you know he's kind of cheap yeah and he yeah there were no lights on I remember tripping on a big

like spool of wire cables yeah like I could have anybody could break their leg here what the fuck and then just over in the corner the sketch we were doing that was lit up because you need the lights there yeah but if you'd perfected some sort of infrared like night vision yeah yeah thing we would have or you know but yeah I remember that I remember being real bummed I remember going and doing the show and then I was on a sitcom at the time and then going back to the sitcom like later that afternoon like I was it mad doing rehearsals or shooting a thing and then going over and doing the thing and then

the showrunners were there at craft service and it's network television show craft service right yeah very nice spread of food and I remember like talking to them like they were the like it was like like mad TV were my one were my dad and then this show was like my mom and they got a divorce my mom had money and they're like really sure that everyone's fat yeah a lot of love and stuff and I remember being like you guys really blah blah blah and they looked at me from like I was from outer space because I was like giving them props for doing things that are just normal yeah having the lights on you know they're

being just like some eggs and bacon in the morning and shit is like you guys really and they thought I was of course thought I was fucking right I did nothing but fuck with them all the time and all of a sudden I was serious you do feel the difference yeah I think I think the show progressively got cheaper and cheaper but you know the last you know what a bad the new mat TV oh those dude when I did the new mat TV oh my god we were in heaven yeah I mean this is like yet you go to the craft service there's a fucking a Ritz cracker yeah right and half eaten like baby carrot yeah that's it yeah yeah there were

literally yeah I don't know I don't know where that where that went wrong well I know why that went wrong it was on Tuesdays at 9 o'clock on the CW side from the fact that you can't do what mad TV used to do now right comedically in this climate period yeah the social climate not the how many I don't know there's lots of climates I don't really I don't try to use that word as a smart guy often so I really showed how stupid I was there to say climate and then go which climate but um but you can't do that show now first of all yeah if you ever watch old mad TV clips you're like what we really got away with crazy shit

they're not only you know sidelined by that or like you know they're taken down by that they're also on the CW at 9 o'clock no way there's no way talented good people very talented people a lot of the old writers came back yeah great guys and there's no way to do it there's no way to do it yeah there was girls to Bobby I said great guys ain't broken guy I think great guys and girls all right yeah yeah yeah time to get what wake well see I don't even know how to yeah gotta be woke in this climate okay yeah yeah if you're gonna do comedy you have to wake up you have to wake it but you were young though you're like 20 how old

were you when you got that show 22 now imagine fucking being 22 yeah that's a fucking incredible yeah I was really stupid of them what do you mean I don't know I mean literally I would just go like you're so fucking funny what you fucking talking about you know I used to do stuff like this like I was I was convinced the show would be off the air yeah like after the first season I was on it season three so I was like well I just got to get as much tape as I can and I got to get you know and you know the show wasn't as competitive as say you know like Saturday live from what I've heard yeah yeah but there was still

like get your shit on right yeah and I remember I would I would hang out Wednesdays all the writers would pitch so Tuesday nights I would be in the office until all the writers had something with me and the one of the guys who really took me took me in was Mike Short Martin Short's older brother who rode on SCTV and he was a writer on the show and he used to call me little buddy because he was like six foot five because I was really really fat so it's funny and he said and he goes and like Tuesday nights after he'd be finished his assignments arriving all right little buddy come in

here he go all right little buddy what are my pitches and everyone had to have three pitches while every right now he's like I don't want to pitch is him a senior right you know that's the TV on Emmys these guys want me to pitch on Wednesday this is a very good impersonation very good and on and he goes what are my pitches and I'm like okay so this one I'm a lady you know thing and then I'm a Martian and I got a big purple dick whatever the next day he would go okay here's another will one he's a lady and then after a couple weeks they're like are you Mike are you just letting will right because terrible pitches not

none of them ever got written yeah and you're letting will write your pictures because I want to pitch on Wednesday mornings one of any with fucking SCTV I'm not doing this because he wasn't there when I was there no Mike left yeah a couple years and I think he left in season four or something by the way just FYI Martin short I never met that a short a short but Martin short yeah probably one of the nicest people very nice oh my god good good Canadian stock yeah just really just the person of all and like yeah his stories are fucking amazing just a nicest guy yeah ever that was great what's great about that show

too is is that you got to meet like all of dick blue sushi is people that he grew up with so you would you would see Eugene Levy would come by yeah and all those kind of those hair I did the show yeah those types and you're like holy fuck yeah I am a part of some sort of like you know Paul Flaherty director Flaherty yeah and his brother of course and then would would hang out his daughter yeah do sketches sometimes yeah man it was like really cool in that way you know and and kids in the hall writers yeah very Campbell all those guys yeah but you know they really did it then when you left it just kind of you know I had a good you

know we had Jordan to yeah you guys talking it was good Keegan really good stock you know yeah what are you doing Gilbert Gilbert just you're emailing no no how does it feel to see him up there Jordan there's a there's a sense of pride there's a sense of like it's almost mind-boggling yeah because you kind of go wow yeah right and then there's it and I was telling Will this in the hallway they're always there's and this is a character defect of mine there's always a sense of what the fuck have I been doing jeez do you know I mean like it always goes back to my fucking stupid narcissistic yeah you know ego

fucking driven yeah you know personality of like what the fuck you've been playing fucking scar stardew valley 16 hours a day fish but what you got good fish I had to finish it but he pissed off his wife in the video game and now she's not talking to him no what happened was I had to hear it for a full hour today no no what happened no what there's no consequences what happened Haley a pink cake and Haley I'm trying to off my relationship system maybe she has a menu what game is this it's a farming simulation game called stardew valley and I've been playing it for 16 hours a day oh okay yeah you won an

Academy Award something right yeah right I I said this to you in the hallway I thought it was very interesting how Jordan said I stopped and started writing this screenplay 20 times I walked away from it 20 times going no one's gonna yeah blah blah blah and you have that same cross to bury you got to get that wife in the farm game to start talking to you again it doesn't matter if it takes 20 times we all have goals right yeah you know my face dude I have addictions oh yeah all right I have fucking addictions you know what I went on Twitter yeah and I saw a lovely picture or it was on Instagram of Keegan

giving Jordan a really big hug you so happy for him and the meme was what the kids were saying was give me one friend of my life like Keegan Michael Key you know like Jordan has in Keegan Michael Key yeah you know what I'm saying yeah and if and if the key in key and peel is happy for Peel I'm fucking happy I'm fucking are you really are you really outside what are you doing I'm not doing anything dude whoa my friend okay all right what can I just say something right two guys for Matt TV can't do shit what would you say out in the hallway you said what have I done with my life and I said Bobby you're still alive that is

what you said there's plenty of time you know you know what what you know that was what I just expressed yeah was just a little thing in my head I shouldn't have said it out no you should you should say everything I was just honest I'm 99.9% completely fucking proud of the right now that I gave you a little bit of like there was a little bit in my head yeah and what are there and what did I do fucking rape that I do I me too yeah yeah yeah and you know what and that's not right either well whatever I don't give a fuck you know why Kobe Bryant won an award yeah and he paid off some chick you know when he

took her into a room and there you go you know how about in Canada they make more stringent rules so serial killers don't get out of fucking prison what do you think of that yeah you fear Zachary you fucking Canadian fool I'm I'm I agree with you there even think of committing a violent crime in Canada you're going to jail because there's we all have the chip there was a Chinese guy who a Chinese guy who ate the teenager and he on a bus not only was he allowed out but he was allowed to change his name and his whole identity yeah fucked up but that's Canada for you yeah so don't come in here and fucking me to my fucking little

thoughts all right in Canada they let people they let Chinese people great people eat whoever they want that was opera I was going on a sketch show anymore but check this out yeah let me China how do you feel about that guy Jordan Trump oh how do I feel about Trump I think he's a big fucking idiot right I want to know your perspective I think we're not a political show we don't really I look I don't get yeah I don't have political I don't give a fuck about politicians I don't follow I am an American citizen I did vote to congratulations yeah in the last election and and I will say that you

know for me I'm not a fan of a party I'm not I'm certainly not a fan of a politician I'm a fan of policy Bobby Lee I'm a fan of policy and I want everyone to know who's listening they can't see me right I'm doing that politician thumb just a little bit of my nub thumb sticking up I'm shaking it yeah at Bobby Clinton a lot Bill yeah Bill Clinton did a lot a lot he kind of almost yeah he kind of all his day patented it yeah that's just he did it so much right people still blow jobs and that that blow jobs like nutting on dresses and then this yeah killed it the problem with Trump is like the problem with Trump is

aside from everything that anyone can say about Trump and how he sucks shit the interesting thing to me is if he ever does something good even by accident yeah we will not talk about that we were like what did he do with the see I don't even know well the other day with the dreamers with DACA he like some way he gave some sort of advantage and I'm not I should not even speak be speaking on it everybody just Google it you can get the facts wrong on the fucking internet but something like Obama did something nice for 750,000 and he did it for like 1400 14 1.4 million yeah 1400 and and my only do math and hundreds right that's

Canadian math that's metric all you gotta do is turn turn to hundreds I don't know if you knew that but then everyone will be like yeah boo fuck Trump anyway I think he's food poisoning we just got to get through three more years but the other day I thought that she was gonna go the right way in terms of the NRA and stuff like that well what he does is sits in front of people and he says what will please them and then he just turns around later and tweets something else and then he goes back to the White House and there's that's the real problem and he says something to them he's he's completely he's just a yes he's a

yes man he's a he's a jellyfish floating through shark infested waters for a billion got it back yeah I brought back that's nice that's a callback that's what the what last I want before I forget what the fuck happened with ten minute podcast oh we're giving it away you're giving your podcast we're giving the podcast away we are giving the iTunes channel the website the you know the Twitter for what it's worth but the point is that who to a guy named Mark Evans shout out to my guy shout out to Mark Evans Mark Evans NY on Twitter he's an editor who lives on the East Coast I'm like yeah I was a big fan of the show

and we sort of ran a contest and we just started like airing people's stuff basically what happened is you know like the first what was it three years of the show was a Brian Callan-Crystalia myself and at which point we just became too much of a everyone was so busy and you know Brian lives way out and Chris doesn't give you a trade yeah what's about betrayed you know they did not betray it was a betrayal no I tell you something what happened less and less interested no no no this is what happened all right Bobby said in did a bunch of them I did a punch yeah and I'm friends with both guys but I'm gonna

say this right friends with no wasn't I'm gonna tell you I made the final call and said guys because you're the only one that's real oh really all right let me just your foundation I'm starting to see a theme here it's not just about Matt TV Jordan didn't you know that everyone's been a fucking dick to you yeah you don't have to agree with me no it's cool if you like come on you don't have to agree with me okay this is what this is I'm what is I'm gonna tell a story okay tell a little story right and and you see if I'm you know vaguely correct all right yeah here's a story a long time ago any years ago right there

was a guy named will sasa okay okay and he's not fat he's thick thank you you welcome it's a true story so big dick will that's what everyone called everybody called me man yeah yeah whale sticker fish dick right and he knew a guy by the name of Italian guy right Chris Delia right not Italian he's not Italian nice half he's half Italian a half Italian he's got the Italian right and a kind of good-looking intrinsically funny guy by the name of Brian Callan who used to work for mad and that's how you kind of know him too right at the beginnings of it right and at that time their careers were okay they're you know they're

coming up you know Brian's rebuilding had his own podcast and he decides to do coming up just we're fucking what are you talking about it been no not you mean coming Delia was coming up oh yeah before Whitney right when did that happen before yeah so he was coming up when he happened right away while we were doing the podcast exactly but I understand I'm just gonna tell him paving a story yeah all right but to see well he's not here to defend himself it doesn't matter because he'll listen to this later come up to me both those guys will come up to me and I'll go no they're not gonna listen to this that's that's oh they do

fucking listen they don't fucking listen to it that's another lie in your fucking story time story time story time story time tell the story story I'll just point out the inaccuracies while you're having a breather Chris was doing well and shit they're all doing a bunch of stand-up and doing great right Brian been around forever he's the best best okay they both their family look you're trying to say that I'm not done with my story friend all right so story time with Bob still okay all right you know he's serious when he's called himself Bob yeah that's when he's actually pissed story time Bob yeah let me get my

fucking bearings they do a podcast they decide they come up with a fucking theme 10-minute podcast right yep how could it go wrong Will Sasso Brian Callan Delia doing one podcast and it was a success people love it three of probably one of the funniest people on planet Earth together doing off I mean imagine this is pre-fighter in the kid this is pre-Delia congratulations becoming who he is right and it's fucking working it's like the traveling wheelbarrows yeah it's the traveling wheelbarrows right but this is what happened yeah then they start giving gifts getting gifts getting gifts yeah

gifts gifts gifts like gif no gifts with a TSTS okay how about this what do we do this don't ever fuck don't correct me I was just fucking I feel like I'm painting you're fucking painting what helping it you're not a painter all right so Roy Orbison died years ago did he die when they were touring as a traveling I think they were just fucking around when they could yeah just like 10-minute podcast we're fucking around when we could and when things got what happened was they started getting they started getting shit no I'm can I just finish my story finish your story and then all

of a sudden what happens the abandoned will Sasso the abandoned you my friend finish your story let me finish all right so you're looking I like the you know what I like I like the uncomfortable spaces yeah how about this friend okay I'm being real and I'm trying to be legit right now okay and I'm not downplaying Krystalia I think he's he everything that these two get they deserve they're so fucking funny to the funniest fucking guys the funniest guys nice as fuck there I really consider them true friends yes and you too yes I love them yeah me like if they died it would be so devastating to me it would

be life there but all right all right but they fucking betrayed you no I'm not done they got to the boat 200 meters out yeah they collected their billion dollars yeah yeah okay we didn't betray me and then all of a sudden I'm gonna ask you this my friend yeah this guy he's gonna take what do you think 10 minute podcast people were listening because of you Brian and fucking Delia here's why we like Mark Evans because mark what he does is and I should say over the past two and a half like three years well first my buddy Tommy blotches started doing a bunch of stuff with me Tommy's a writer-producer you'd be

familiar with a lot of the stuff that he's done big fan yeah and then he wrote on like the early he wrote on like the first years of like late night with Conan O'Brien right and then right alley G show he created that show metal ocalypse you know that show oh I have it on blu-ray okay and you know a bunch of other stuff and you know he does all that's the funny things and then my good buddy Chad Colchin of all albums written I have Yellowstone a national park yeah yeah I have Duncan pride yeah oh that's a great album double album Duncan pride yeah Duncan proud remember the member the track

remember the doughnuts doughnuts we are pride we had doughnuts I love all that take it don't get to my mineral don't forget my mineral my mineral tally has he nut yeah tally has he nut that's what's up tally has he nut in the truck yeah yeah ocean holes so yeah it sort of turned into a very different podcast yeah and then what we did was we sort of started this thing called the diamonding we realized that we want to like a like you know like like the like prehistoric vegetation spinning turning into coal pressing down and creating a diamond you know we want to know how fucking diamonds made you fuck we want

to take our audience and squish it down until there's one diamond left yeah essentially over the past year we've lost all our sponsors our audience has completely dropped off to where we only have we've done it on purpose to show got more and more inside the jokes are impossible to get unless you've listened to everything yeah a lot of references to wrestling a lot of stuff a lot of useless shit and we've had a wonderful time pairing off our wonderful audience to where now all we have left is diamond listeners okay and how many how many listeners are there how many listeners right now remember the

Canadian math okay 140 people it might be a little more than that I'm not sure I'm not gonna map them from Canada right I'm stupid okay so yeah thousands and thousands less than used to yeah and so now basically what we did was we listened all these submissions from people like blah blah blah circuit city that's what that's what oh it's a fucking closed it's that closed circuit city by the del taco on sunset yeah that's what it used to have used to be best buy and now yeah we used to be a best buy back when people were fucking buying DVDs and CDs and now we're the circuit city that's boarded up and is tagged gang tags and

shit Callan teamed up with that other guy with Brendan and he betrayed you no he did not betray me so what we're doing is we're giving it to mark millions of dollars he's an editor making cuts together old shit you don't even see it what do you mean millions of dollars they have a successful cottage industry they've put together Brendan is a workhorse he's a very competitive guy he's an athlete so as Brian has described this guy got his hands on something and it's gone crazy they make fucking t-shirts I've made one t-shirt in the past three years I'm gonna fuck about t-shirts oh by the way kind of busy you

know acting in France short of my day job that is true you know you have to work at you have been working well yeah but then it's like you know there's a lot of things where it's like oh I'm trying to get my thing popped off I want to do this I want to make that where you're writing this you're doing that right right and then you don't and that doesn't and nothing but then but then a show says you want to do TV sure sure excuse me and I have a message to Tiger Belly fans right now this show Tiger Belly don't Bobby and Kalyla no this show right here will never be found off diamond yeah we're gonna have no

diamonds no no no diamonds right we are every week gonna be religious about love it giving you content I love it all right yeah and we're there's no betrayal here I love it George is not gonna stab me in the back like some people that I know right this guy what's your name again what Jason then Jason is literally behind you sitting in the closet behind him and just pull anybody in this house look Bobby listen Kalyla I think that's wonderful I think that's what a podcast is about we are in the age of content we've had I don't mind saying a pretty funny conversation thus far oh I know it's not over there's

a lot of irreverent people talking in a room of their house and the podcasting landscape right but this conversation has been pretty good and that's what podcast should be and a ten minute podcast we've completely betrayed that first of all it's only ten minutes to begin with so that's dumb and then and now we're just giving it away but yes like a like like a like a like a like a mystique painted orca breaching yeah itself yeah in the in the waters of South Africa yeah can anybody name the songs from that band I named earlier any of the ocean holes ocean holes is one holes is one doughnut Dan was it

doughnut Dan yeah the talent was a sky one sky fever something mineral yeah what do you think I should do do you think because we here's what we decided yeah we're gonna stop doing the podcast and then maybe in a year we'll come out with a new podcast I honestly believe this I honestly believe this I believe that you should always be on a podcast I believe that will say so because you have the equipment right I have the I'll be honest with you too is that your podcast is one of the reasons why I have this podcast everything influences me right so the DVD essay influenced me a lot but

also right around the time that time I remember going to your house with Callan and Delia there yeah and doing being a guest on your 10-minute podcast and it was super fun and it gave me what plant it planted a seed yeah and so you're so funny oh thank you and your characters are so good I think there is it would be criminal for you not to be on that format I don't think that I think I honestly feel like there's a huge glut of them on the internet and I think you I think that they're I think that it's really hard to strike I think it's really hard to know hit pay dirt no no no I should just be I mean listen listen we're

not the bottom of my house all the time you know we make this right we have you have sponsors right yeah we have sponsors it also minor gone we're making less than zero dollars mark Evans inherit he gets the iTunes channel so immediately everyone that is subscribed to the 10 minute podcast is subscribed to the mark Evans 10 minute podcast he's he's a very handy guy with all of his Photoshop and editing and after effects but I've decided I'm gonna design an avatar for for the podcast maybe he'll hang on to it for a little while I don't know he keeps the name he keeps the name yeah keeps the he has the website the

domain he gets the Twitter the stupid Facebook all the things that nobody gives a shit about he will get those and I and yeah and I don't know yeah you know I got a really nice message from someone today I'm gonna get real how about this Bobby I'm listening to you okay that's why close my eyes I'm listening go ahead I got a very nice message today on Instagram messenger right from a young man who said he'd been living listening to the show from the age of 13 now he's 19 years old and he said it's really shaped my sense of humor blah blah blah he said a lot of really nice things and he was really I

wrote him back you know you try to write these people back when they say something when they just you know when they share that hey you've done this thing and I've listened to it and here's how it's affected me I think a small percentage of people are obviously reaching out so it's important to go to you know thank the guy for doing that for sharing and for reaching out and he was very well-spoken and he said he said nice things and I don't want to you know but I told you I was getting serious and he goes I think you can probably pick up listening to the show all right here's the truth I feel like I have no idea what

my I feel like I have no idea and maybe we've sort of talked about this cuz I don't do stand-up yeah yeah how I don't ever get to the point no I feel like I have no idea what the value is out there for some of the dumb things that I do because this guy was definitely is definitely picking up on the on the podcast that I'm very you know I'm playing around but I'm definitely like ah fuck it you know whatever here goes the podcast gone here's a dumb wrestling joke and blah blah blah and the diamond ing this and that we want less listeners and all this shit and those who are left you guys are our diamonds you're the

ones who get every fucking joke we value you more as you as your you know compatriots fall off the side this guy picked up on that and was like hey you know this whatever the nice things he said and he goes that's something to be proud of will yeah I don't think pride has any place in comedy or entertainment I think it's a I think it's a poison right yeah you think I even saying it you've been saying it you saying what you just said yeah struck a chord with me just now yeah yeah I've never really thought of it that way but you were correct pride has no place in it don't pretend to cry I'm not fuck you

actually how you sound when you yeah I you see me cry you do the broken voice like that yeah all right so I do feel like but don't touch me there so I do the same thing yeah don't was your grandpa's name Bob no is that why you're only Bob when you're serious no I don't know his name so I kind of feel like oh yeah I don't to take your to take your audience to a new thing you have to believe that there's an audience that wants your will shut the fuck up telling you right now all right all right I'll make another you know just shut the fuck up for a second you got it you're a guy who is a comedy entity out there right

sure he was on a sketch show for years you were the star one of the stars of Matt TV during its prime yeah all right I don't forget that was 35 years ago yeah it doesn't fucking matter it wasn't right five years ago you dick fuck sorry go on please try to give you a fucking compliment and you're playing fucking are you sure since the show started you make it more naked you're making me I told you was warm in here there's six people in this fucking room all right blue eye all right so one blue I have one blue I what I'm just saying is is that you know I'm dumb no I'm slept just listen to what I'm saying I'm dumb I'm

slept I don't know nothing right no so does fire to you and everyone you know and the vibe is this is that you think that I think that people who should listen to me I don't think so but you know what I resonate with people yeah you know let me talk done it's a fucking miracle but I go on sorry why do you do that I'm listening I'm just that I know but can I just say what I want to say I want you to say nice things about yourself all right let me let me everyone is very let me we spin let me we spin yeah you're very happy I am I am not the most educated person but I try and I'm not dumb I'm not retarded but I'm not

smart that better I'm not saying okay but I go on the road I read emails I read little comments about myself I get we get artists like this artist yeah I was just noticing this already we just got this today very lovely and an artist you know what's his name Alberto Reyes created these two yeah right of me and Kalilah incredible and you know he they write letters saying that I help them and yeah I'm motivating and I'm and I don't know why so I just keep doing it mm-hmm and I feel like there is a reason why I should be doing this podcast yes I don't know what the end game is I don't know what the end result is gonna be

that's I'm not doing it for money I'm doing it for just it you know in many ways it reinvented myself really how I think that you know if if you were to read a book about Bobby Lee you know there would be a chapter on Kalilah the you know when I met Kalilah yeah and what a big influence she is in my life and this podcast has everything to do with her but it also has everything to do with the revival of my career I wasn't working at all really yeah until we started doing this and I got a bunch of shit because of this and I got because of this I it it doubled my road audience okay it made me money yeah it it did a

lot of things yeah and I'm not gonna downplay my fans out there that listen to Tiger Belly they are my foundation Nosotras papaya to you and to your family and that means I have four papayas no Nosotras papayas means we are papaya no it doesn't it means we papaya we papaya we papaya we papaya yeah it's not we are I've never been to South Asia South I've never been to the Asia it's not it's Hispanic in origin well yeah but so are but like Filipino yeah we're Mexican yeah you're Mexican you're Mexican okay but I think that by you doing a podcast is important because there are people out there that you might not

necessarily know right that that relate to you I don't know any of my audience will you meet them ever oh yeah I meet them sometimes years ago when we used to do live shows yeah yeah yeah now they're on the internet but when I do stand up they come to my show that's amazing thank you well I don't do stand up though you could remember when I did that bit here's the thing about you and I'm gonna say something real about you and I'm gonna say something that you're not gonna like and it might cause a fight I'm gonna say it anyway because I love your room okay is that any other shit you are missing right hundreds of

thousands of dollars by not doing stand up you it is an ability okay it is an ability that you have I've seen you go up live you open for me at Irvine remember that one time as a character David Greco open for you I saw I understand that but if Will Sasso did it yeah you could make so much money I've told you I don't like stand up for me Rosenbaum does it who Michael Rosenbaum who's that Lex Luthor on this mobile you don't know Michael oh yeah he's a friend of yours yeah yeah I know who he is you know the actor he should know is Canadian those two should know each other he acts Canadian yeah I think he is

Canadian I know exactly you're talking about yeah but you two together there's a bunch of Rose Michael Rosen bombs out I thought you were talking I don't know who you're talking about some but yeah I know who that yeah but it's a fucking it's a chunk of money that you're missing it's a part of I know but you don't have to do it that's fine you're never no no you know why you're not gonna do it because you're fucking weak yeah you're fucking you live in fear you're a fucking pussy oh you're gonna do it now so I'll tell you what the camera what is my what camera just look at the mirror is I'm in a camera yeah he's

doing it to the camera that's the real tiger belly if there's a like a fun show he's doing to a hole in the wall like Andy Kaufman is a ten-year-old he's like looking around like there's a audience full of people here oh he's fucking hallucinating what's happening he's so happy with himself and he's you look at he's getting it from the audience here's the thing I have great respect for stand-up I love stand-up I've always you know we had all the albums when I was growing up I had an older brother and sister so my tastes were sort of you know you know sort of helped along by them you know we had the

Carlin and all this shit and Gilda live that was a good one great that on on a track and Steve Martin of course so anyway so here's my thing I don't you know me I don't really like to go up in front of people and talk and give my opinion it's not interesting to me I think it's I think it's I think that's oversaturated I think that your profession as a comedian is under siege by dickheads with inflated egos who think just holding a microphone and flapping their fucking gums into it is something and it's not and I feel like artistically I want to and I strive to even though you know we all try to make

things and they don't always work out or whatever but I'm always working on something that no one's ever going to see and it's been that way for a long time I don't know that just getting up in front of people and going you know I don't know I don't want to I'm not trying to shit on stand-up at all I love stand-up I love funny stand I watch a lot of who's the guy I watch that guy Dave Chappelle yeah and I also watch the the black guy Chappelle again yeah I saw his stuff you listen to both Chappelle is that the same guy no two different guys oh yeah yeah yeah so I've seen his I've seen there's their

Netflix Dave Chappelle and Ronaldo Chappelle would that be funny if Dave Chappelle had like another Chappelle like like Gallagher too yeah okay so anyway but yeah so thank you for the encouraging words that wasn't and I'm not gonna say I wasn't being encouraging I know you're just being real it's Bobby being real Bobby being Bob when Kala doesn't want to do this anymore that's gonna be the name of your podcast Bobby being Bob and you're not gonna go for jokes just gonna be seriously shit and you're gonna have a bunch of like you know Dr. Drew like yes seriously but no I I would love to do you know I was

having this well okay I've had this conversation before with other people who I respect immediately like yourself who have taken the time to say do you say fuck you thank you okay and who have said oh well you should be doing some more live shit I totally want to I just don't know what that is okay because I don't want to Bobby I'm telling you don't shut me down to go you don't have to do it you don't have to do it because that's you being fearful you don't want to hear the end of what I'm saying oh fuck this wants to this guy wants to get confrontational yeah I'll get you want to get confrontational you want to get

real give a fuck you want it real I'll pay myself like a fucking organ swimming to shark and festival I'll go mystique I'm not afraid I'll go mystique you're not going to be a jellyfish go inside the ocean holes you're gonna get so transparent right I want to do I want to do more live shit I'm honestly I have been very fortunate enough to be busy and out of town shooting a lot yeah so and what are you working on now that's all that people can watch I'm the new Batman yeah yeah yeah no what I got I got a couple films coming out what are they well the the burning woman is one there's a oh I'm in super troopers too

oh yeah yeah that's coming out myself Tyler Labine and Hayes MacArthur you know Hayes I love Tyler oh you guys work together I love me Tyler and Hayes love those guys yes who Hayes MacArthur oh I love all three of you the three of us are our evil Mounties we're the bad guys oh that's fucking amazing and and Rob Lowe is the mayor of a fictitious Canadian oh wow did you work with Rob yeah yeah we nice very nice guy handsome huh yeah handsome as fuck yeah yeah 64 years old I can't fucking believe it sleep must sleep in a hyperbaric chamber yeah and yeah so I got a couple of you know filmy films coming out we're doing

another season of the show I did last year called louder milk which is run Livingston and myself oh that was good yeah yeah and I'm doing this and that and this and I'm ended up on things I'm going off to shoot a film in about a month here they were shooting in Georgia and and yeah but I would love to do forget it I love me undies hey I'm gonna be in Branson the way we end our show is not ending your fucking show yet hey I'm the captain of this shit oh yeah yeah okay I love you so much I love you I'm a polite Canadian pirate it's really I'm pouring your shit with my

little sticker whale puffer fish in my where my oh I would love to do and you're like and you want to call you we do a fucking thing called on unhelpful advice and nobody gets a shit in your audience you know what I'm doing live anyway right anyway oh you know what I'm telling you something yeah and you're gonna listen I was nice to you and all those people didn't even bother to hang out with you and I hung out with you right remember that one time we went down to Long Beach because a buddy of mine wanted to meet a girl oh yeah that was that was terrible yeah we were good buddies to him too we

just went down to Long Beach to just support him because he wanted to see about a girl where the black guy that used to hang out with Bell bottoms all the time yeah yeah Sean Sean I like yeah he was cool and it was different time the night and then we one time you reminded me to a halo tournament at your house yeah you weren't into that I wasn't into that no he wasn't in his forties yet wasn't playing video games good night everybody thanks for listening to Tiger Belly I'm Will Sasso we'll see you next time we're out anybody right now I am well I wasn't gonna ask you you know what I can I can say this

because she's never gonna listen but I went on three dates with a nice young lady how'd you meet her man man matter she's person see here's the thing here's the thing with Will he doesn't like he doesn't like talking about it's gonna happen he doesn't like talking about his private life and that's and I think that's really fair oh yeah you guys were on this thing together that's very easy for you to tell you something about Bobby when we first got together he went on a ton of podcasts talk about how I aborted his baby talked about what my vagina looked

like I mean and he put it out I we broke up probably three times when we first started dating because he couldn't shut his fucking mouth about me yeah so I think what you're doing is nice well I've always been very private like that I like that Bobby's asleep no I think that's a yeah I don't know I don't tell anybody anything at all I don't give a fuck but I hear you know you made a nice letter you three dates right and you like her a lot that's all you have to fucking say you fucking ass I didn't say I liked her a lot but you like you you like a wonderful person all right that's it the very little email very lovely

person give me the fucking email can't wait for her and everybody watch me live stand live stand-up comedy hey I'm gonna try out some shit here before we go hey you know this Donald Trump wants to wants to put up a wall and keep the Mexicans out yeah yeah hey who's gonna build that wall yeah real good real good and I've heard that joke before I know yeah I watched a thing on YouTube about Carlos man yeah yeah Joe Rogan said that I know I should fear right it was his joke but they're kind of everybody's jokes these jokes some of them are yeah because you know you can go up and stand up and say hey

what's going on at Donald I'll tell you what that Donald Trump that guy wants to that guy wants to take all the dreamers and and and get ready to send him back to the countries they're from even not I tell you tell you something else well maybe you should have a dream about getting sent in his hair another real good and that's maybe you shouldn't that's maybe you shouldn't don't dude don't because we came all this way don't have it we came all this I don't have it what is this fucking last no you can't do it you can't do it last comic you don't have the mind or the bravery on helpful advice with Bobby Kalala and will second

city right there friend wow hi Bobby I like that homeless guy with a really good voice oh the man with that's a meme from seven years ago yep hi hi Bobby Kalala my boyfriend and I just broke up after two years he was bipolar and refused to take medication the relationship became mentally abusive I don't have any self-esteem anymore your podcast is the only thing that keeps me smiling I've listened to every episode so we were supposed to move to LA together in September he wanted to pursue a career in music and I wanted to pursue fashion and event planning but that's what I went to school for and

love he has an internship in a music production set up because of my connections out there should I tell my close friend he is going to intern for about our breakup and our relationship was really like I think she's trying to say what I tell my close friend he's okay so she set up the internship in him yeah so she's asking if she should tell the people at the internship about his getting off his medication and basically sabotaging his move to LA yes well I mean a little more yeah yeah he's the only person I really know out there I don't know who else I could live with I don't know if I could afford to

live alone I just feel like it's really complicated now and I feel discouraged and about trying to pursue my own dreams she dodged a bullet in her the reason that she's upset is because she's connecting all of the all of her hopes wants and dreams to this fucking guy and he's a zoo you do not want to move to LA with a bipolar dude who's a musician you couldn't write that any yeah funnier that's right no that's a disaster that's a nightmare nightmare and as far as telling them about telling the people at the internship whether or not I would say no cuz just just disassociate with that and not only that I would be like

call it and get not have him get the internship no I wouldn't even go that far I'll tell you why I'll tell you why just let me hear my thought though all right well you didn't hear mine about stand-up yeah because this is not what do I have to write it all right if I listen look it if I was dating not you but let's say I was didn't grow let's make up a name Sabrina classic Sabrina Volkovich oh yeah Sabrina Volkovich that's the name of the girl I'm hanging with hey you know you knew that I made that up right yeah I did know no I didn't wow we was getting pussy no I don't get pussy you receive it no I do

not receive it I'm 43 years old I tell every woman before I hang out with them that my dick doesn't work as a matter of fact this is this is damn true I don't even I don't kiss on the first date a lot of times not even the second or third date I just want to get to know kids you do if I wrote you here please and said I'm just gonna run off to Canada build a log cabin yeah you know work like make candles or something and just have like seven kids like find a you know I don't believe in big-age gap relationships yeah I'm like I'm 43 right so I got to get so I got to get like a 21 year old girl and just just someone I know can

what am I just bearing a machine no I'm but I'm talking about I want you want a fresh product I want 11 kids yeah I want yeah would you support that now keep in mind there's not gonna be a hole there's gonna be even less time for stand-up I could do if you called me and you said that I would probably go no that's a mistake get back here not not only that is is that I I mean and you can I've argued with people about this before your dream is your dream dude yeah but you know what and and when you're our age you're driving doesn't end it doesn't end no no it doesn't have to end it's not it you know what kind of I'm

doing better now than I've ever have sure and if I want to quit if I would have quit three years ago talking about Canada in a fucking ranch yeah making candles that sounds awesome go on amazing life I'll tell you what a couple of my buddies have stopped back to our hometown yeah from yeah about a couple months ago I was visiting one of the guys I see him all the time I tell you there a hoot and well I'm driving down the street to my buddies place yeah it's like 9 p.m. we're in the you know Western Canadian suburbs there outside of Vancouver yeah and in my hometown and there's like a couple of little dudes

like 10 years old riding their BMX bikes the midgets no lights no little dudes like kids oh they're riding their bikes like they don't have any lights they have reflectors yeah less shit on their bikes than the stranger things kids right and they're just riding their bikes down the street uh-huh at 9 o'clock yeah there's no rapists or killers or pedophiles in Canada uh-huh right yeah don't you want to raise your kids there and they make some candles I see the soy candles 30 years later right what are they doing making soy candles no their kids are riding their fucking bicycles turned into motorbikes yeah now and

they're a fucking they're in the Hells Angels and they're doing math all right I'm sorry to interrupt you anyway this this lady what my point was is that you know if I was going out going out with a woman by the name of Sabrina Valkovich Valkovich yeah right classic thank you and she was bipolar and we broke up and I got our internship job internship job somewhere of a different city comedy store in my head yeah comedy story in my head is like this bitch is fucking bipolar she could snap right shoot up fucking the place and that's not gonna be good it's also gonna reflect poorly on you yeah we're poor poorly on me yeah

so um pull it pull it hmm and just what a great podcast you only take one question yeah fuck you you talked all about connecting to everybody and one lucky listener one lucky listener we're gonna fix your life bipolar bipolar and I asked you to do this podcast I appreciate it and you know what after a while I was like you know what we don't need them but now that you've been on it we missed you I'm recording you on we made we missed the magic of Will Sasso on this podcast and I wish to God that you would do it again I'll do your podcast again Bobby and Kalilah yeah yeah you were so good thanks man and we

didn't really dive into a lot no you got good and personal no more personal next time we'll work into it all right but um that way you you were really amazing um thank you so much for doing it thanks for having me I love you like your family I love you like your family and I'll do it anytime I live just up the street I'm in Los Feliz I know I've been to your house it's oh you know I ran to Matt Bronger a while back I love him well I love Matt you know we hang out and stuff but before he I didn't know he was living in my neighborhood he's not now but he this is a dumb story you know what I'll tell you off the air and your

listeners can be a little upset well I'm not just kind of makes he just my how about that why don't you do this you tell the story everyone knows it's a dumb story all right I'll tell the story it cap it up but let me say something right now it's gonna reflect on you and your abilities but I want you to do it anyway tell the story now you have to end up with the story all right so anyway so my anyway so I run into Matt around the corner from my house and he goes yeah I go what are you doing you live here he goes yeah I live over there I go yeah I'm up here on the corner he goes around that corner yeah he goes what are you

come I go yeah I'm like a couple houses up on the thing and he goes he goes oh you near Castle Wolfenstein and I said what and he goes there's a house up there that looks he goes me and my gal call it Castle Wolfenstein yeah cuz it looks like there's a guy up there just breeding wolves and I go I think I'm Dr. Wolfenstein he goes what I go yeah I think that's that's my house you're describing yeah he goes no no it's fucking thing it looks like Gargamel's fucking yeah yeah yeah the Smurfs and then he came over and he was like what the fuck yeah you live there master Wolfenstein it's a great you know what I

love about your house though you can't go to Redfin and find a house like that that's like there's a one-of-a-kind house well how the fuck did you find that castle because it was 2002 well I they made castles since fucking the 1700s what are you fucking talking about I know my house was built in 1612 it was the earliest property in Los Angeles how did you find it though you just drove by and go I want to live there no I went to a different place no I yeah I actually I jumped out of a I had bought a house up the Hollywood Hills because I didn't know where the fuck to live when I decided to buy a house and they said and

then I had to jump out during escrow because there were some structural things I started a new search I was in Los Feliz I was at this one house they said have you been by this house you know and they told me where I said no and I walked in there and some some things happened that were nice like they dropped the price a lot the morning that I walk walked in because it was very it was very ugly there had been there had been many years of you know renovations and stuff that reflected the time period when it was renovated right so I you know I restored it with a contractor and designer back to the original thing

that it was back you know the house was built in the 1930s and and so that was the thing but it was also because the market in 2002 was very different than it was even the next year in 2003 yeah and so everything exploded and then we had the you know the economic collapse of you know 708 so then you couldn't really get into these anyway it was very it's a great house very fortunate you know I regret even asked that I really good way you know what I'm gonna tell you something you know I'm gonna tell you the wrong issue was okay we should end it there yeah yeah yeah yeah because just like you said you did some

ten minute podcasts and it inspired you to move forward yeah perhaps it even had a way thanks we'll stop by everyone clap right now they're not we'll stop so for coming by they're not all cut it off they're not all home runs cut it off and he sometimes people just want to any shows Bobby I'm at the Ontario improv just want to know about the Ontario improv this weekend want to hear about renovating home I'm also playing here about and improv get when you get those pavers in right and I want to oh I understand Brian Ortega for killing it you know someone who does you watch MMA someone who does break work

make sure you fucking keep it he because it'll improve the Frankie Edgar really bring up the resale value of your house yeah yeah it's never a bad idea to put in another bathroom beat Max Holloway never a bad idea I don't know that I think the crew there already you might as well have them come in that would be really good you know what I mean I've got pegging groove hardwood once sitting underneath it was centered underneath marble everybody that was a great hey hey ha hammer take it some of your off right now some of your floors I'm gonna find some very expensive under there at Tiger Valley amazing woods on

Twitter at the Tiger Valley fine wood or you can even ask any questions at the Tiger Valley anything that you think that someone would take out and put in another house that's what you're looking for in your property don't be afraid to spend the money you're living in your investment and make sure you check out our sponsor Brooklyn and Brooklyn's hard to find a place on your own sorry not Brooklyn but also Brooklyn and stuff there they're both sponsors but to Brooklyn and yeah good to have good linens and then a couple and get a get a little cover for the duvet to just in case things get saucy with your lady

what about blue apron a blue apron hey let me tell you something about blue apron Los Angeles people don't necessarily want to cook all the time you know they want to go out and eat in restaurants and studies have shown that it's really great when you get together with family and you cook and you have a great time hey blue aprons got all those ingredients all put together even if you've got a new kitchen island you want to put in your kitchen because you think it'll improve the resale value of your home it doesn't matter if you're living in an apartment or in a studio have your kids over because you're

divorced and cook blue apron with them hey this month they got tilapia chimichangas with a with a chimichurri sauce hey I would never thought to get this stuff there's five little squash abs hey what we're doing the ads for you promo code belly we'll be right back guys we'll be right back at some house clean and tell you about what's going on my backyard how amazing are my triceps whoa guys we're back and Clara was just showing us her triceps there's only 20 minutes can I just say something it doesn't matter my body could just go downhill from here and just absolutely turn into mush there's one thing that's

always overgrown in my body and that's my triceps is that because of swimming or genetics I think it's genetics from somebody in my family who has big triceps your mom probably my mom yeah it's weird it's like I could do nothing and they just they're there yeah I don't do anything and they look skinny so they yeah that's that Clial we get it you're huge muscles not not muscles just triceps yeah but isn't that a muscle yeah but it's one muscle like my quads aren't good my ass isn't good my stomach's not fine you got a huge muscle my traps are not good my delts aren't good but my triceps are pretty on but that

try though guys thank you for leaving us reviews on iTunes we appreciate it and we're gonna do a couple more shout outs today George you got you got one I got a shout out to Megan Cooper who says vive los nosotros papaya revolution and a lot of other nice things but that's the most important this one is great this is from old TK and it's five stars he said best show my nine-year-old daughter told me about this show a while back and I've been hooked ever since thanks Clial why are you trying to reach out to nine-year-olds I'm guessing we got that nine-year-old from JK news I'm yeah you should probably not allow your child

to listen but also thank you thank shout out to the nine-year-old that every child who's listening tell your parents tell your older siblings let's keep the oh I want evolution going I wanted to announce some of Bobby's dates Bobby will be in at the Ontario improv this weekend that's the ninth through the eleventh and then next weekend he'll be in El Paso Texas and then the weekend after that he I think he's well go to Bobby Lee live.com go to the website yeah go to Bobby Lee live.com and I'm gonna post newer dates cuz I think in April mid-April he's also gonna be at the Denver Comedy Works and he's busy yeah

and he has a couple of road dates coming up I also wanted to ask the audience a really important question so over the last six months I've been getting more frequent jaw pain and I never used to think I had TMJ problems you know TMJ like the clicking in your this temporal you know can you elaborate on like why that happens I don't I over I don't know people usually people who grind their teeth this happens to I don't grind my teeth but I clench down when I'm anxious so like even during this podcast like I I'm trying to make a conscious effort not to clench my teeth but the pain has gotten so bad to where

I'm starting to slur my words because I don't want to open my mouth too big when I talk and any of you guys who have any solutions for TMJ please let me know I'm so desperate oh messenger please yeah let me know like what has worked for you I'm I'm gonna go see an acupuncturist I'm gonna go see my dentist but this pain in my face is so awful so if you have any any experiences help me out that's that's yeah give her some unhelpful advice no just give her helpful advice yeah just give me helpful advice on how to reduce my face pain and my jaw pain and clicking that's sad why you're breaking down you're so strong dude eat

healthy you work out why you dying I've sucked too much dick in my life that that will do it you know do much dick suck and just destroy your body I know my my my one of my best guy friends today he's like why'd you have to suck so much dick I don't know it was just very the mouth once if someone has to say that to you I mean you suck a lot of dick no I wouldn't say I suck more dick than the average girl but I've sucked you know enough to know how to suck a good dick I suck a great dick yes we know that okay thank you I'm just putting it out there okay and now I have TMJ to prove it to prove my dick sucking prowess a

lot of international penis as well a lot of everything traveled in the average American yeah and then you know what nine-year-old girl or boy yeah when you suck a lot of dick like me don't get TMJ so don't do it so don't do it you get jaw problems so don't suck too much dick one dick every five years to prevent TMJ that's a fact science yeah any announcement story no that's it leave us an iTunes review please and we'll be reading all the latest ones on the podcast or not all the latest ones what will be reading the smattering of the latest I like that word a lot smattering smattering Dave Chappelle use it at the

Oscars oh yeah last night he's like I like the smattering of applause I was like great word you should host any thoughts on the Oscars any like thing that stuck out to your colleague or like yay I thought it was a great Oscars Jimmy Kimmel last year I thought he hosted better I think it was again you have to address the elephant in the room so I think he did a good job doing that enough I just watched Bobby and I watched a shape of water yesterday last after the Oscars and we loved it I watched all those movies what was your interpretation spoiler alert what was your interpretation of her getting the

gills was she already one of was that he give her the gills at the end or was she already the lost girl that they found and that she was in fact in a fish I guess an amphibian what was your interpretation or that love create that he gave he had the power I think that he I'll stick to the the less fun option and he just gave her gills at the end the love gave her gills I tell Bobby all the time it's like that's my dream come true turn me into a fish give me gills and he's like you would want to live down there I'm like yeah if I can at least visit you guys once a week and the docs you know like my little mermaid

fins and my gills and then you know and he that's that's so crazy like the when you first made that we have the the graphic with us and you in the mermaid thing I didn't realize when you show me that other picture that's something you've been drawing since I was six years old I thought that was like a recent thing like oh I'm a swimmer stop with the mermaid thing that's something you've been like what I have forever I I swear to you like I think from the my sixth birthday to my 12th birthday you know you blow your candle and you make a wish it was never anything there's two things that I always wished for make it to the

Olympics and then grow some gills like I wanted to be some fucking ocean dwelling mammal hey don't be down I'd miss you guys for sure I'd miss you would you come visit me at the dock I would feed you like krill krill it's good for your skin I know I'd want something chunkier like like like dick I'm looking for that oh whale dick hey whale dick is is very very big yeah we know how big a whale is I don't think the whales walking over the micro penis you know how you don't have a bone in your dick they actually have like a bone to support their penis I think I have a bone I hear crunchy noises

sometimes my marine biology professor dr. Gago he collected no it's not this is name is Gago he's he was so hot okay professor Gago hot professor professor he was one of my favorite professors but he brought in he says he one of his friends uses it as a party for like the fruit punch and no one knows it's actually like a whale penis that they're using but I was very fascinated and it was massive smile right now just take me off the creepy okay guys that's our show some of you have been asking about when's the next merch because stuff is sold out there will be some merch happening in the next couple

weeks just be on the lookout on our social media even on kalala social media which is calamity K on tiger belly social media we will be releasing some hints and when that may drop right now if you're on YouTube I am wearing the hoodie it's very soft it's very premium and we've got a great embroidered tiger belly Bobby almost glue bottle on there we'll have beanie coming out a t-shirt and we'll bring back the sticker packs so be on the lookout for that anything else you want to say to the people's the slept kingdom client before you go I just helped me with my lock job hopper with lock job George thanks again to our

sponsors so check out live comm slash belly and our other sponsored Brooklyn dot com also if you'd like to be a sponsor of our podcast write us at the tiger belly at gmail.com and attention George yes and maybe sponsoring the email too but close enough yeah but if you're like a local pizza shop or whatever we're happy to sponsor our people who know the show right right dope dope all right guys oh shout out to IG talking that funny I like funny out of town there oh yes yes yes very funny thank you all right guys have a good one hey prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad-free on Amazon music

download the Amazon music app today or you can listen ad-free with Wondry plus in Apple podcast before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com slash survey