TigerBelly - Episode 133: Dumbfoundead & The Fax Machine

Episode Date: March 14, 2018

Jonathan Edgar Park teaches Bobo some new words. We talk thin lips, half chubs, rap battles, and spilling secrets to strangers.Listen to us on Spotify.Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum. Yo, my name is Bobby Lee. Oh no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Fuck it, fuck it dude. I wanna try. You let him try.

Ready, ready, down. Two, one. Let's go, let's go, let's go. My name is Bobby Lee. Four, three, two, three. Bobby Lee, I'm not ugly. I am part of the sea, the ocean. Believe, conceive.

Oh, that's it. He's a sea enemy. Pretty good. That's pretty good for my first try. Welcome to Tiger Belly. We've got my dog there, Global. Hi, Global. I thought it was me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have my other dog here, Coloco, Kalyla. We got Gilbert. We got George. We got Bryce. And we have a guest here. And before you don't even say anything until I bring your name up, OK?

OK, thank you. Thank you so much. There was a little bit of sabotage because I wanted this guy before my brother. And all of a sudden, my brother, Stevie Weavey, had him as a guest. And I felt a little bit of a Shakespearean betrayal. I understand that their relationship,

they have a relationship. They've known each other for 10 years or whatever. But still, I feel like I'm still the bigger name. I really believe that. But you are the bigger name. I think nationally, I think I might be. People on YouTube and people on the internet, and they go, Stevie Weavey is the funnier brother.

Nah, all right, fuck it. I love my brother. But we've got, how about a round of applause for Jonathan Park, everybody. Give a round of applause. Jonathan Park, better known as Dumb Founded. Yeah. Yeah, Dumb Founded.

Jonathan in the house. Well, Jonathan's in the house, right? I refuse to call you Dumb Founded. Oh, no, it's all good. I mean, I refuse to acknowledge myself as Dumb Founded at 32. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I just hit that.

Yeah, raw, raw. Where nicknames are kind of like. It's weird. It is weird. So people call you Dumb? They do. What else do they call you? Just John or Dumb, pretty much.

What about Dummy? What about Dummy? No, no, no, no, no. I can't call you Dummy. Did my mom sign it? If my mom's trying to be cute, she'll be like, hi, Dummy. Oh, that's funny, yeah. But like, actually, two years ago, I almost

did like a name change thing. Because I was like going through, like, I was like, do I want to be a 30-year-old like Dumb Founded? What were you thinking? I actually did try it. Like, I pushed it hard. What was it? It was Parker.

Oh, that's a good name. It's like, larger. I literally went off pretty much off my last name, Park. Yeah. I was like, I'm going to make it white, and I was like, Park. That wasn't the reason, but I just kind of wanted like a real name kind of situation nickname. Yeah.

So I went for Parker. And then my fans was like, no, you're Dumb Founded. Like, they would not let me change it. What other names have you gone by in the past? Or what other? It's literally, since I was 14, Dumb Founded was like my rap name. And then like two, three years ago, I went through that.

I was like, oh, man, I got to do something about this. I don't know if I could pop off as a Dumb Founded. So I tried Parker, and I made stickers, and t-shirts, and everything. I got one. I was going, what? What is it? T-U-L.

T-U-L. Thin upper lip. Yo, you know what? You got the thinnest upper lip I've ever seen. No one has pointed out my thin upper lip, except you, ever. Me? Like, when I see my pictures and shit, I'm like, I got a thin upper lip.

I don't notice it, you know? But no one has ever pointed that out, except you. You do know why? I respect you, but I ain't a friend. OK, I know you bring game. I know that you have followers, right? But let me tell you something. That's a weird thing.

What I just did? No, what you just pointed out. No one's pointed that out. Yeah. And I've, like, acknowledged it. I'm like, it's a bad thing. It's not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing.

I just noticed it, you know? Are you offended? Wait, no one has ever called that out on one of your rap battles? No, I mean, that's a really specific thing to point out. I'm noticing it now, but it's very thin. First of all, that doesn't sound like a hard thing. Like, if you're trying to attack me and you notice that,

that's not gangster hard. No, it's not. Your upper lip is tiny, motherfuckers. No one's going to go like, no one's going to go like, oh, they're just going to be like, why are you noticing shit like that? Why is Bobby looking like that? You know what I'm saying?

Like, no one's going to be like, ooh, look at your thin ass upper lip, look at that thin ass. They're just going to be like, why do you notice things like that? It's just a, you know. I have a weird thing like that. I noticed different things. Like, I saw Chris DeLea earlier today,

and he has like 15 veins on his right temple. There's like, it's his skin is translucent up here. So when he gets angry, you see these veins pop up, and I always go, that's fucking weird. And he goes, why do you notice that? And I go, I don't know, I just do. Yeah. You know, like, I noticed Boyles.

I noticed Freckles. I'm a big Freckle man myself. Those aren't Freckles on your face. Those are liver spots. Did I fuck bitch? Did I just, did I just, where the fuck did George go? He's getting a charger. Bitch, did I say that I counted my own Freckles on my face?

No, because I thought you were trying to pass your liver spots for Freckles. No, I already, bitch, I already said, I've never heard of it. Yo, yo, dawg, I don't got liver spots on my face, in case you want to wonder about it. What are you on about? I think he's turning up the hip hop. I think it's because your hair is a bit.

If you don't know, if you're not familiar with Urban Bob. Yo, what's up, dawg, shit. This is it, this is the thing he does. Raise the roof, dawg. Oh my god. So. Get jiggy with it. Get jiggy with it.

Pretty good, huh? To the left, to the right. I've noticed, like, he gets. Close the door. Introduced to, like, a new slang word, like every episode. Like, I've seen that thing happen. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, guys. I know I'm an old man, and I know that.

Nah, man, I'm washed, too, bro. You are? Yeah, I'm washed, too. What does it wash mean? You see, like, I knew that was going to come. What does wash mean? I mean, washed is just, like, washed up, you know what I mean? Oh, washed.

Like, people in hip hop, if you're just, like, you know, share, like, old school views and stuff. Right. Just be like, I'm washed. Oh, that's a new thing. Write it down. That's new terminology we're learning. Take off the words up.

Like, in hip hop, when you're, like, 30, you're pretty much washed. Right. You know what I mean? Because it's, like, a youth-driven index. Give me a slang that I wouldn't hear, and then I'm going to say, somebody say something. Like, hey, have you heard of this? And I'm going to say something.

Go ahead. Have you heard of washed? No, I was going to say I'm washed. Oh, you're right. Yeah, that doesn't work. Yeah, yeah, do that. Do that one. Yeah.

Hey, have you heard of washed? Nah, man, I'm washed. It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, it makes no sense. You know what, dude? You got to go back to improv classes. Hey, are you going to bump and grind? Oh, shit, man.

I don't know about that. I don't washed. Is that work? No, because bump and grind is, like, an old school thing. Yeah. So you wouldn't be washed understanding that. You know what I mean? Why?

The bump and grind is already washed. You know what I mean? No, to me, it's fresh. It's still fresh. But that's the thing. You know what? Here's what I'm going to say. That's really washed.

I mean, how about this? What if I was like, I was frozen? I'll give you an example, right? Let's say Bobby Lee was an anarchist, doing one of my hiking expeditions. The ones you do every summer. Right, and Avalanche comes on top of me, right? I freeze, right?

And then 40 years later, they find a way to defrost my body, right? I awaken, right? And then they say, yo, you know about bump and grind? And then I could say, I washed. Well, they would have to introduce you to the word washed first. And then you would use it, referring to some old shit,

right? Oh, that's fucked it up. Right? Oh, I fucked it all up. All right, well, then I'm not washed. Right. I understand everything. No, no, no.

If you were like a young kid in the future and you went back in time. Yeah, that's a better word. And then you used it, then that would work. Then that would work. It would work, yeah, yeah. So that's new terminology. Who makes these up?

Man, honestly, I pretty much just learned that too. Like, I'm pretty washed too. It's like yesterday, you know what I mean? But I was like, oh, this is something like I could say about myself, you know? Yeah. Just gross myself. How about this, last year, what

are some new terminology this last year? I want to see if I've heard of them. This past year, I don't know if there's. When did woke happen? Oh, that's like two, three years ago. I don't like using woke. I know me either. Woke is already washed.

Yeah, woke is washed. That's washed, yeah, yeah. It's not washed to be woke, but the word woke and using it is washed. Like, woke is considered kind of corny at this point, too. Yeah. I mean, like. OK, I just learned it, but OK.

Like, if we said woke in front of black people, they'd be like, pshh. Yeah. Oh, right. I think it's just kind of corny, you know? Yeah. And how about lit? Oh, my God, that's so.

That's white. That's white culture. Lit's been around forever and it's still being used. Yeah. I feel like is it just like part of the vocab now? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

I don't know. I think it might. I don't even know how to use it. I mean, yeah, yeah. Anything can be lit, though. It's lit. You can say a party's lit. You can say food is lit.

I was taking a bath, man. It was lit. Yeah, you can say that. It could have been a lit bath. When is a bath a lit bath? When you enjoy it, when it was just amazing. Extra bubble. That is when it just got input into like regular

terminology when people started using it like that. Yeah. Damn, that quiche is lit. Like, you know what I'm saying? Right. That everybody was like, oh, this shit is just everywhere. Can a negative thing be lit? Like, oh, man, I was at that party that night.

And then I don't know. I passed out and I was in an alleyway and a black guy was fucking me in the ass. It was lit. No, no. If you enjoyed it. Well, I didn't enjoy it. I didn't enjoy it.

I hated it. It was lit. Well, people would do it some shit that like you kind of like, it was obviously terrible. Yeah. You don't want to admit it was like, you kind of liked it. Yeah. So you'd be like, oh, man, bro, I woke up

I was in the alley, but it was kind of lit. Oh, kind of. You just pop up like, it was kind of lit. Oh, it was kind of lit. Kind of. I hear that a lot. It's kind of lit. You know, just.

Let me ask you something. Jonathan Park. Jonathan Park. My middle name is worse actually. What is it? What's your middle name? OK, I don't know why I set myself up for that. Yeah.

What is your middle name? It's Edgar. Oh, it's my dad's name. It's Edgar. I love that name. It's just a weird, like, Jonathan Edgar Park. But that's like a really strong FBI name. No, I was born in Argentina.

Yeah, he was. And you were smuggled. Oh, wait. You were smuggled? Yeah, yeah, yeah. My mom smuggled me and my little sister through the Mexican border. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Stop, stop, stop. From Argentina to Mexico. And then to LA. Then Mexico to LA. It must have been much easier if you were Asian, because you can, like, jump on trees, right, and rooftops. Well, she was juggling two babies. That's pretty lit.

That's pretty lit. That's pretty lit. Or my washed. We don't know. Who knows? We don't know anymore. No one knows anymore. Never thought you could use these words in this conversation.

Oh, I'm going to be using lit, wash, all that stuff. So your mom, two babies, you, or you were one of the babies. Yeah. Was your dad there? No, no, no, no. So my dad, I don't know the full story, but my dad first came to LA on his own like to establish his thing, you know what I mean?

Like to set up shop or something. And then my dad sent back money from my mom to get snuck in through the coyotes. The guys who like sneak them in through the Mexican border. Me, my little sister, who was one, and I was three. He wasn't nervous? That was going to work out? I mean, he probably just thought like,

it was a dangerous thing. I don't know how, like, what my dad was thinking, you know? I mean, it's just a service. I don't know if he thought it was like a safe thing or, you know. But yeah, so how my mom explains it, because I was too young. You know, so my mom kind of explained to me that whole journey. And she said it was mad scary. How did they end up in Argentina to begin with?

So my mom's side, like when she was like 15, her parents moved to Argentina to like just, there was a huge immigration of like Asian people to South America. And then my dad in his early 20s went alone just for like business. They met, had sex, and had us pretty much. Right, are they still together?

No, they split up. Soon as they got to America, they're like, oh, we're allowed to divorce. OK, cool. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I mean, not like super early, but when I was like 12. Oh, would you break you or no? Huh?

You break your heart? Oh, yeah. I mean, honestly, like just my childhood, I don't remember like a happy moment between them two. Like they fought like every all the time in the household. It was like, you know, just they didn't have a good, you know, relationship. I was always wondered like how they ended up together. Yeah, I mean, and then when they split,

that's when everything kind of got better for everybody. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see you lived with your mom? I was like back and forth. Yeah. Do you speak Korean? Yes, I do.

Do you speak Korean well? Do you speak Korean well? Huh? Do you speak Korean well? I do. I almost didn't understand. I'm so bad because I'm so bad. No, no, no, I mean, I'm decent.

I'm not great either. Yeah. I feel kind of uncomfortable still when I use it. Yeah. Like I felt a little comfortable right there. Yeah. Oh, you did? That tells me that I'm not like super.

I want to see where you're at. I want to see where you're at. The barbie guy. Yo, yo, what's up? That was you. Na, gochujang come here. What did I say? Say you dick is small.

I got that. And there's a fact. That's a fact. And that's real. It's just, right? Oh, there's another one. Facts. Facts.

What's that mean? You say something. No, it's just like, this is like a slang for like facts. You know, when you really agree with something, you know, it'd be like, you know. I'm OK. Let's just, let's, you say something and I want to see if I can say something.

Yo, Wingstop got the best hot wings. Yo, facts. No, facts. That's if you were like really excited. Like you, like someone said something that you wouldn't really agree with. Yo, facts. Are you crying?

No, but you know what I mean? No, there's a way you say that one, though. Yeah. You got to say it like you're putting a period on. Oh, how about I say something, right? OK. Man, that guy's dick was delicious. Facts.

That's how you say it? That, yeah, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Facts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Question mark. That would really work like if I thought that dick was delicious, I'd be like, facts.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You're just beating the scene. Yeah, I mean it, I said it. No, you just commit to it, right? All right, all right, now we're going to do the scene. All right, sorry. I'm going to say it again. All right, sound speed, rolling, and action.

Yeah, man, so I was sucking that guy's dick and his cum tasted like fucking vanilla milkshakes. Yo, facts. And scene. Great. That was good. I wouldn't take it. Yeah, thanks, baby.

Vanilla bean milkshakes. So you grew up in LA. Yeah, Korea taught my whole life. Whoa. And so you grew up in LA. And then when did you start, you know, rapping and doing all that stuff in high school? Yeah, but my whole thing was like I always

wanted to be like an actor and comedian. Like I was a child actor. I was in a PlayStation one commercial. You were? Can you still see it or no? I've been looking for, I can't find it. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's hard to find such. I've been like really trying to find it

because that's just like a funny thing to flex, you know? Yeah, yeah, but like that's another one. What is flex? Show off. What does it mean? Self-explanatory, babe. Show off. You're flexing muscle.

Yeah, you're showing it off. Write it down. Give me a pen. Give me a pen. Go give me a pen. I need a pen. Give me a pen. Cash and facts.

I'm not done. Right here. So what? These are all I have to write. These are all available at UrbanDictionary.com. All right, yeah, those are all X, right? Facts. Facts.

Washed. Facts. Yeah. No, no, it's like for F-A-X. You put like facts machine. Facts machine, facts. That's a new one. That's how we've been saying it, facts.

Yeah, yeah, but it's F-A-C-C-S. Not in my mind. Facts machine, yeah. So those are the four. What? You really thought it was like facts, like facts machine? Who gives a fuck? It all comes out the same.

It all comes out the same. It's pronounced the same way, so we're good. All right, so you were flexing? Yeah. Let's continue. You were flexing? So yeah, I mean, I was like into like, I made my mom like take me to auditions

that I found out about. I was into it, you know what I mean? And then, because I grew up on like TV stuff, because my parents were always working. I was like like a latchkey kid, you know what I mean? Right, right, right. So I was always home, just grew up on sitcoms and TV shows like that.

But like, early on, I wanted to get into acting. When I got into high school, I was like a stoner, you know? So I got into more music side, you know? And I wasn't like trying to go out to auditions. I was a stoner, you know? So I got into hip hop. And I was into like rock bands, indie rock bands too. So I looked like some kid who could be like a member of Weezer

the way I was dressed, but I've rapped, you know what I mean? So, and I wasn't making songs or anything. I was just freestyling and battling, because those things like, you don't have to like record or anything, you know? You just hop in and you just freestyle, do whatever, like. She just learned it in high school, kind of when you're younger, around the environment you're in.

Yeah, like I go to house parties, you know? Kids would be freestyling and, you know, like, it was just like a drunken activity, you know? You'd smoke weed or drink and you freestyle. You'd impress like, you know, kids around you and girls around you and stuff. So that's my main reason that I started was just to impress girls and get free weed and alcohol.

Dude, the reason for anyone to do it is to get pussy. It is, and everybody always asks me like, you know, because they want to answer like, oh, 2000, the Asian American story. I'm like, no, it was to get bitches. You know what I mean? It was like early on and maybe later, it could turn into something else, you know?

But it's like... Kids walk up to me and they go, I just want you to know that, like, you really paved the way for me and this and that. I was like, I just wanted pussy. I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to pave nothing. That happens to me all the time. They always ask me those things.

I do a lot of college shows with Asian organizations. And they're always asking the same questions, you know what I mean? They want the same answers out of me. Yeah, but whatever your drive was, you still put pen to paper and you still made it happen and put the hard work. So whatever your motivation was,

it's really irrelevant, right? It is, it is. Your craft is your craft and you put the time and effort in it. The funny thing is, it's like early on though, like when I was freestyling and battling, like that craft was actually just me making fun of the other person.

Like there's nothing deep about it. It was just like, I'm just making fun of you and your mom and your shoes or whatever. Is it one of those things where, cause I know when it comes to stand up comedy, people go, oh, that guy is a great improviser or he's good with the crowd work.

But what I know about the trick is that he already knows what to say 99% of the time because of just through trial and error and whatnot. Premeditation. Premeditation. So when you're freestyle rapping, how much of it is just out of your head at the moment and how much of it is that?

Well, the format kind of changed for battling before it used to be freestyle. So like you go to an event and there'll be a sign up sheet and everybody signs up and they call like randomly to the next two people. So you don't know who you're doing. And then that's when it was like completely off the dome. Wow, that must be scary.

You know what I mean? And you can come up with maybe, you could premeditate like a couple lines that might work on anybody. Well, if he's fat, right? That you can do that. If he's a specific nationality or race, maybe you can have some pre-stocked.

Like Punjab, you're from the desert or whatever. Babe, calm down. Someone wants to get to rap battling. You're about to get real racist all of a sudden. No, I mean, the format changed though, where all of a sudden they started doing these acapella battles where there was no more beat. You know, now there's no more beat.

Why? I like the beat. Because I think it made it more like enjoyable to anybody. You know, because before it was like, you have a beat and actually when you don't have a beat, you kind of have more time to think too. And you prepare, like actually now, like it's not really freestyle anymore.

You actually come prepared. So it's like a boxing match, like Manny and Pacquiao and Mayweather fighting in a month. So these two opponents prepare for each other. See, then that's not really that freestyle. It's not freestyle, but it is. The battling got better because I remember, like, now when I watch my old freestyle battles,

they're not as good as I remember it. You know what I mean? I'm like, dude, I was just talking about that guy's shoes for like three minutes, you know? But then when you watch the written ones where they prepare for each other, they're like good. You know, you could rewatch it. You know, it's like a roast battle.

All those like roast battles. That's a specific kind of talent, dude. I really do say it, I mean that. I mean, these battlers are like, you know, they're really into it heavy. Like there's hundreds of leagues across the world now and shit. Wow.

Russia, Philippines, like China, like different languages, you know? Like I know this one Lebanese guy who's considered like one of the top battlers and he's like obsessed. Like I was doing a movie about battle rap recently and there was a scene where I was like attacking like another person with Asian jokes,

like Asian battle lines. So I asked this guy who I actually battled in the past. I was like, yo, do you have any lines that you'd never used on me? Yeah. He was like, hold on, he went through his Rolodex where he had like a section for fat people, Asians, Latinos.

He just had these lines. Like all these lines is ready. Like for whoever he's in a battle next, whoever it could be, just a Rolodex of just racial, you know, physical feature jokes. Is there a line you can't cross? No, people are mean. No, I'm there.

So there is no line. No, racist, like you can get racial, you know, does really mean you go personal. People are pulling out police files and shit. Like let's say 97, you sexually assaulted this person. Like one of my examples, let's say I was, you know, doing it with you. And let's say your dad died from a disease.

For sure. And people go, oh, your dad died. I've heard this person come at somebody about their mentally disabled mom. Oh, that's hilarious. I mean, oh, I mean, oh, that was so good. That's the thing. Some of the reactions are like, ooh.

Like there's not always funny either. It's just like, ouch, he don't give a fuck. Fuck, right. You know, like that, that wins you street credibility. Right. Not all the time. Just people all have their different angles. Like the guy who's like mean and doesn't give a fuck,

like that's his angle. My angle's more like the, let's all make fun of this guy together, kind of angle, you know what I mean? I'm more like a comedian kind of guy in that scene. Yeah. But there is a guy who, right in your face, like right there, yelling at your face, spitting your face, like just mean. Really, really mean.

I'm not really the mean guy. Yeah, you're more crafty then. I'm more like, hey, look at this guy. I'm the Rodney Danger field. Wow. So you were the pioneer then, right? For like Asians, would you say? No, Jin was like the pioneer.

And I was like the new generation after Jin. I've never even heard of Jin. You've never heard of Jin? And can I just say, that's a credit to you, my friend. You're lit. You're flex. You're washed. You're fat.

You're crap. Maybe you're mad at Wast if I'm the newer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're all that. So we're doing a what? No, we're fine. We keep on going. What the fuck, man?

The what? You fucking piece of shit. I'm sorry, sir. I'm going to keep everything, all the drinks over here. Let me ask you something. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumbfounded. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Let me ask you something.

OK, when you met my brother 10 years ago back in the day when you guys were doing shows together and whatnot, you think my brother's talented? Yeah, I mean, well, the rap style during that time was a lot more abstract, like the underground scene. And I always thought Stevie's style was very abstract. And I actually come from that, too, like our world of hip hop was a very abstract style.

Because we were kind of nerdy kids. And it wasn't like the typical rapper image necessarily. We were just trying to be all intricate with our rhymes. But so my brother does have skill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was unique. Yeah, he is a unique guy. I think that was the main thing.

In hip hop, it's more important that you're different than all. Well, that gives me a sense of pride, then. Yeah, you should. No, really, because my brother and I, I don't come from that world. When I started, when I was growing up, I listened to the Beatles and the Velvet Underground and just kind of bands.

I was never exposed to hip hop much. I think back in my day, I think about a De La So album, Tribe album, stuff like that. But Fuji's, but that's as deep as I went. And I feel, I feel kind of guilty almost. It's not as if I didn't want to. It's just that it just wasn't the stuff that people were listening to in the 80s, where I grew up.

For some reason, my brother was exposed to that. And so I don't know much about it. And so I never really, when my brother said that he wanted to pursue it professionally, I was just, I was like, yeah, go do it, whatever, if you feel happy about it. But I could never tell if he was good or not. Did he had no like reference?

Yeah, cause I have no reference, right? So I just, I just keep doing, but then when I see him now with this new band, with Monk Chi, he, I could see his performance style. He can perform, he's brave. And he is original. He is himself. He's definitely fearless in this new band situation.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like just going in. With his asshole hanging out and everything. It's, yeah. And then it's, it's looks way, I remember seeing him perform. He was already fearless then, but this time around,

I think it's like the music is more even unique than then. Really. Wow, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they just allowed him, I mean, but his rap style is kind of similar actually. They're just applying it to like band, you know? Yeah. Yeah, it's really fun to watch.

I mean, to see his asshole, his ass, right? I remember one show, I was just staring at my brother's ass. I never seen that really before, you know, that clearly performing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Performing, you know what I mean? Performing, not just that. But I thought to myself, he's got my dad's ass.

That's a nice ass. He's got a nice ass. I think I have more of my mom's. Oh. Oh, I don't know what your mom's ass looks like. It's not that good. You have a cute butt. Thank you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not bad at all. A lineage of nice butts. But Stevie has a girl butt. I know, it's coffee. He got curves. Oh, I know, I want that. Oh, it's okay, sweetie.

No, is there exercises I can do? Yeah, I'm like, ask the guys squats. Oh, really, and that'll protrude my butthole? Not your butthole. Wait, do you want your butt to be bigger or your butthole to protrude? I want my butthole to stick out a little bit. Like your butt.

You want it? Like it's puckering. So. You want it? Yeah, thin lips on his butthole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want his mouth. A little bit on the top.

A little thicker on the bottom. That's not poking out. This is inwards. T-U-L, T-U-L. Let me ask you something. You have a girlfriend? I don't. No.

Let me ask you this. So you're single? Yeah, I've been single for a bit. So would you hook up with girls when you're do shows? I have. Yeah, I have. I mean, it's tough because when you're on tour, for instance, you're only there for pretty much

just a couple hours. Like you have like a six hour window to make it happen, you know? Yeah, I agree. Like when I'm playing a week, when I used to open for guys, and when I was single, baby. Of course. Okay, last weekend.

But when I found out that I was doing a straight week with Paulie in one place, sure, I'd be like, I think I can do it. But when we did one nighters, it was impossible. Because you would do the show, he would wrap the show up, and then you'd get on a bus, and you're off to the next place. It's like, no, you get nothing. True.

Yeah. And I'm not a closer. Are you a closer? Well, this tour, I'm coming in. Yeah, I'm headlining this tour. No, I'm not as a headliner. Right, no, in terms of when you meet a girl, how fast can you close the deal?

I'm a headliner. Yo, man, that's my terminology, bro. Comedy shit. I mean, they use that in comedy too, right? Closer, okay. Wait, closer. Wait, repeat that again. What was that?

When you open, OK, let's say you're in a place for two days. Right? You meet a girl the first night. Right. How long do you need to close the deal out? I'm definitely more shy on that end than people think. You know what I'm saying? Like, if they're kind of moving that along,

then it's going to go down. But for me, I'm actually not even that aggressive. You know what I'm saying? Right. But I'm aggressive in my head like I want it. But I'm just kind of shy. Like, it's weird. So if the balls hit at you, you'll grab it.

Yeah, yeah. If it's a way, you won't chase after it. Yeah, I mean, it also depends on how hot they are. How good the ball is, how good the ball is. Right. It does, yeah. Right. Sometimes they're so hot, you'll just do out days.

Right? I mean, I remember one time there was this one girl, and I didn't get any. But I remember not sleeping at all, begging her at six in the morning. Oh, gosh. Right? You know I'm a sleeper.

Yeah. I love my sleep. Yeah. That was only one time, baby. That was 20 years ago. I can't imagine you begging. I imagine you like maybe just like praying in a corner and just like looking at her and just praying to God.

Oh, no, no, no. Maybe. Can we just, can I just stick my fingers in? Like begging. There's definitely smooth ways of begging, you know? And when you're begging, you don't realize how desperate you actually look. So you're shy.

In a sense. Like if there's a girl like at a bar, and I think she's hot, I'm not usually the guy who just cold calling to walk up to her and be like, what's good. Like I need like a homie of mine to kind of act a fool first. Right. And then I'm like, oh, that's my friend. But if they're a fan.

But if they're a fan. That helps. It helps so much for me. Yeah, me too. Would you date a fan seriously? I think it's tough. I've definitely been turned off sometimes when they're like too much of a fan.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. I don't know. I've had that, you know, even though the girl's like super hot or whatever. Because they're in love with their perception of like your persona, basically.

They don't. It would cloud, it would get in the way of really getting to know you, know you, because they have this idea of like, ooh. Maybe. I don't know what it is. It's just, I don't know. It's also you want, you also want to chase a little bit.

That's what it is. I think you need the chase. If you don't have the chase, it just doesn't feel exciting. Really? Yeah. You want to feel like you're catching something and you're earning it. I think most of the time that I've definitely

been involved with a girl, it's always been me chasing the girl. Yeah. It hasn't been like one girl that's like really just been on my notes. It's always me just liking the girl, me actually really trying to, because I'm persistent, you know, like flirtatious constantly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I'm not shy when it comes to DMs. Well, nobody is, but I think that's. Have you ever sent a dick pic? I have, yeah. You have? Yeah, I have. Your little Korean dick?

Korean dick. Come on. You know what, it's something that I don't do now. But you have done it. Yeah, because I've been reckless. I've been drunk. I've done a lot of drugs, you know what I'm saying? So when I'm in that state, I was like,

I shouldn't have been doing that, you know what I'm saying? Right. Like it's a scary thing, because you're like nowadays anybody could screenshot and stuff. Even thinking back on those days, I was like, what the fuck was I thinking? Oh, so you did it before you were dumbfounded, actually? No, no, no, this was when I was dumbfounded.

Oh my god. That's why. It's like I'm like, I shouldn't have been doing that. Yeah. You know? So I mean, if I did a dick pic, send it to somebody. Unsolicited? Are we already flirting?

You and I? Yeah, like a friend said, we're already flirting. But I'm just talking about if there was just a picture of my face and my dick, it would destroy the internet would melt down. You would destroy the internet. It would be a disaster for me. But wait, a lot of people have seen your dick, though,

because you've done a lot of shows where you've got. No, there's a difference. What's the? Showing your dick for comedy purposes, right, is different than showing your dick for sexual purposes, right? Because for comedy, I want you to laugh on my dick. But when you're setting a dick pic,

you're like, you want some, right? It's like you're trying to, it's a product that you're presenting. As a salesman. As a salesman, yeah. It's your product. What I disagree about that is this. I like being disagreed.

I think a lot of dudes send dick pics more for themselves than girls. Right. You're so right. Right, right, right, right. As women, we don't really see, like, we don't look at a dick pic and we're like, yeah, that's what I want.

We're more like, she saw my dick and she didn't even get angry. Right, right, right, yeah, yeah. Or it could go the other way where she could get angry. But I'm saying, but that is, if they don't get angry, I'm all like, that's a victory. You've never seen a dick pic and that's a beautiful dick. I've seen many beautiful dicks. I don't, I think that I could probably look at it and be like,

OK, that's a penis, but I don't feel sexual towards it. Right. It's like that last dick pic where the guy showed his face, the last dick pic that was sent to me. He showed me, sent me like three in his face, wasn't it? I was like this. He put his face in it. And his profile was not private.

I was like this, motherfucker. Yeah. We're fearless. It's all relationship trust too, you know, because couples send pictures of each other all the time. Like girls, you know, people I've been involved with have sent me like nudes and stuff. I would never like, you know.

How long does that last? Like how long and how many years do you have to be with somebody for it, for the sending nudes thing to stop? I mean, oh, just because we have do not send each other nudes. It's like we send one word text. Oh, to stop like bananas, please. In the beginning, though, in the first couple of years, I think there was like, you would send me photos of.

Yeah. Like lingerie. It's all fresh, newlywed shit. Like my fucking bare ass pussy, everything. Yeah, everything. It is newlywet kind of shit. You know, like it's fresh, it's exciting, but you're right, it will stop eventually.

Yeah. My text with her is like food now. Yeah. Get it. Get it, you know? Or like, yeah, 745, he's going to be here like you. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like it just directs. Right, right. You know, like we're working. Right, right. Is he allergic to cats? That's the Texas way. Yeah. I mean.

Maybe we should start up again. Start up. I think I'm going to send you a nude. And tell me if you feel anything at all. That's a good experience. I'm going to send you a nude also. If I don't want to. We'll see that's where that's the problem.

It's got to go both ways. Can you try sending me a dick pic? And then I want to know, I want to see how I feel. I'll do it now. No, no, no, no. No, when you're on the road. Now I want to do one right now. Oh my god.

I'm not going to show you. I'm not going to show you. I'm not going to show you. I'm not going to show you. No, you see, you're already fucking up, because that's not the. It's got to be hard, babe. Oh, it's got to be hard. Yeah.

It does have to be hard. The rule is like a half chub, usually, you know what I'm saying? Just because you want to look like that's you when you're not hard. You know what, you're so right. I'm actually more interested in a half chub. That was interesting what you said. You always want them to have more, like wanting more. That's why it's the half chub.

You show them, you're like, this is me. I don't know what he's like when he is hard. Actually, you're right. Half chubs are a lot sexier. Send me a half chub. But when you're on the road, not now. That was just half chub, babe. That was not half chub.

I know. So you want it kind of hard, but just kind of hanging on your thigh, just laying on your thigh. Taking a nap. All right, but you're not going to post it. You don't want it levitating. I have so many pictures. Why the fuck would I post a dick pic?

Just don't post my half chub dick pic online. I would never. Claude, don't do that. Would that make a headline? Like, would that be on TMZ? Like, bub. I think I would be in trouble. I think I'd be in trouble.

He sends it to the girlfriend he's living with? No, but I think that, like, I think that, I don't think that, you know, the show that I'm on coming out is going to be happy about me having a dick pic online. Yeah, that's a good question, actually. I was wondering, you know, obviously, couples and stuff send dick pics to each other or, like, nudes to each other.

Like, nowadays, would that be a problematic thing if that got exposed? Right. You know what I'm saying? Because it's a different time, too. Like, I'm sure there's less dick pics being sent than ever. Yeah. Right now.

It really is a very sensitive time. And I just think anything sexual should just be cut out of everything for right now. I'll tell you, you make that face right now, Claude. The most obvious face. We're not telling people not to have sex. No, I want you to have sex, guys. I don't understand what you're saying.

I'm going to be more specific. It's just that a little bit more, um... Conscientious. Conscientious about things is the word I wanted to use. Thank you so much. Yeah, let me clarify that, too. Sending dick pics to, you know, your significant other. Yeah, yeah.

That's what I meant. The whole time. Yeah, just let me clarify that moving forward. Significant others. And, you know, they're just, you know, I just want to add to that. I'm not going to, I'm not saying anything. What's it going to get me in trouble, OK, baby?

I know you get worried when I talk about this. Oh, you can say whatever you want. It's just that, you know, I think at the end of the day, you know, I'm just looking back at my own behaviors, is that, you know, my weird sexuality toward people have been strictly based on comedy and never threw me wanting to nut or get off on it, right? And I think that that's the line.

I agree, because when it comes to actually, like I said, when we first started hooking up, he was so afraid. Like, he's really wild and naked and, you know, this like idea of this like guy who's who doesn't. But when it comes to actually closing the deal, he's not. He's, you know, he's very like, oh, am I allowed? Am I not allowed? Yeah, I'm over a lawyer. I'm like a lawyer when it comes to very legal, very legal.

I mean, I think people kind of get that vibe from you that it is comedic, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, I know a lot of guys right now. I'm not going to name any names that I was talking to one guy who's pretty famous. I'm not going to say his name, but he was like, yeah, I slapped this girl's ass. Yeah.

It was just like, we're at a party, I slapped her ass. Just like, you know, a long time ago. A long time ago. And now I'm in big trouble for that, you know? And it's like, yeah, you don't slap a stranger's ass. Yeah, I've never, that takes a lot of like, that you have to be a stern type of person to be able to just do that and stop it.

Like, let's suppose you're drunk and we're at a pool party. It's the dumbfounded pool party. Okay, during the summer, right? And I'm a really hot chick, I'm a big fan, right? I'm wearing a skimpy bathing suit. Right. And I walk by and go, I love your last album or whatever. Would you slap her ass?

No, I wouldn't slap her ass, but I have been in situations where like, I got a homegirl and she's like twerking. Oh, well, then that, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's almost like. No, no, there's a good scenario. I'm sitting there, right? A girl's twerking. Yeah.

Like her just black jiggly ass is in my face. It's got to be black. Why? I just because give some more. I like Asians. I'm not a Korean ass. No, no, no, I don't even racist. But it'd be kind of sounds like a bone.

That would just be bone. OK. Right. A flat, bony ass. I don't want it. What's the black jiggly? You know what I mean? I'm in my face, right?

Sound effects. And I want to go. I want to slap it, right? Do you is if I slapped a jiggly ass in my face that's twerking like hella 2000? No, that's a tough thing. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, yeah.

No, that's a tough thing to call. You know, it's like someone could get mad. You know, I'm saying, I knew my homegirl. And I know, like, you know, she'd be turning up and doing the stripper. Right, right, right, right, right, right, right. That's why I was like doing this like a little tap. Right, yeah.

Stripper tap. A full life like that. Thank you so much. I feel like that's like a really night. Early 90s male chauvinist thing to do, like to just slap an ass of a stranger. Yeah, very mad, man. That's so washed.

That's washed, yeah. That's so washed, man. Yeah. Facts. Facts, wash. Facts machine. Yeah, yeah. No, yeah, that's that's another thing.

That is another. Right. So, yeah, just keep your hands to yourself. But it's also this is that like I don't ever want to be in a sexual situation with somebody that doesn't want to be in it with me, right? So it's like, I know a lot of guys like I know she don't like me, but I'm going to pursue it because I want to have it.

Right, yeah. That mentality. It's like, no, if you don't think that I'm cute and you think you don't think that I'm attractive, I don't want to do it. I don't want to touch you because that's like, then it's weird. Creepy. Why don't guys have that thing?

And that's the and that's a tricky question, too, because there's dudes who are just like, I'm going to like earn her heart, you know, like I'm going to win her over eventually, win her over, you know. And sometimes it does happen. No, yeah, but you do it through not slapping their ass. Oh, no, no, no, yeah, yeah. You do it by showing them your soul and showing them who you are.

Yeah, but sometimes is it like a dude doing too much when they're like constantly texting, you know what I'm saying? Because they're trying to, you know, win her over because that could be that is a little aggressive, too. You know, I find that to be totally unattractive and he's just doing too much. It's such a turn off. And you're like, give me space and time to breathe.

It's like a fucking cake. Put me or like baking something. Put me in there alone. I need time to like rise and breathe and cook. You know what I do? Simmer. I grow like she texts me, right? I don't respond right away.

You wait a day, right? Oh, that's some fucking childish shit. Just listen to 24 hours. Just listen to me, all right? All right? I'm flexing. That's all. He's just a little flexing, a little flexing.

Yeah, I'm flexing, right? And facts. Facts. Facts machine. And so, and then when I text back the next day, I misspell words to listen. I don't do any punctuation, right? And so make it seem like I'm just like not even

concentrating, right? That's who I am. That's what I love about. Pretty good. You know, because when you did one time you texted me and you were like, see, I like you because I punctuated. That's what you wrote me. Yeah.

You used that on everybody. Well, there are things that dudes use over and over. We do, too. Girls do the exact same thing. You know, you got your little cute thing that you know is charming and it works. You know what I do? Sometimes I put high send, high again, send.

So I do high twice. You love that. I love this one. Then you go, did I say hi twice? Right? To make it seem like, you know what I mean? It's weird, you know what I mean? Like, I do weird things like that.

Is that cheesy? Cute. Or when I'm on a dating set thing, I go, I don't even know how this works. Is this am I doing it like you act like you don't even know what the fuck you're doing? What does SMH mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is that a good move or no? What does SMH mean? I don't know what it means. What do you think SMH means? SMH. Yeah, when someone, you're texting, right? Yeah. And someone writes SMH.

See much hour. Try again, try again. So much happiness. Oh, that's a good one. That was a good guess though, that was. SMH, see. It's a reaction to something. If he got that, someone was reacting to it.

What is it? SMH, see mama aura. Oh, we don't, it could be a message. Yes, mama hour. Yeah. No? Yeah, close. What is it?

Shakes my head. Shake my head. That's so fucking dumb. Why would anyone fucking say I'm shaking my head? It comes in handy a lot. I've never shaken my head for no reason. No one actually really like. Shakes their head.

What's the last time you really shook your head about anything? That's like a 1950s thing. That's a wash, that's a wash. Like, for instance, say something that I would shake my head. Oh, that movie was so good, man. Nope. Like a Trump. No shaking, no shaking.

Like a Trump tweet, someone will send you a Trump tweet. Yeah, shake my head. No. He just says nope. I would just say nope. No, thank you. Yeah, I've never shaken my head. Have you?

I also have never waved. Is that a? Have you ever waved at anybody? But that's not an actual, what are you? He's talking about text. He's talking about the emoji. It doesn't matter. I'm just telling you things that I've never done,

like shake my head. I've never waved either. People never do the things we type out. LOL, like are you laughing out loud? I've never laughed out loud. Exactly, that's never. And when people laugh out loud, are you really laughing out loud?

Everybody overuses that one. That one. Everyone overuses that one. And then LMAO. Laughing my ass out loud. The extra dudes, R-O-F-L, like come on. Or like the emoji where there's like tears coming out and the mob's open because I can't fucking do that.

Every sentence, someone puts that. Yeah. We got dead, you know? Yeah, dead's better. Dead is just like when you just like, it's like shocking and funny. You're like dead. I'm dying.

Wait, wait, wait, I'm dying right that time. You don't know that one? Dead or I'm dying? What is it, dead? Dead. OK, so when do you use that? Something is so funny. When something's so funny, you're dead, it killed you.

It's almost like shockingly funny, you're just like. Yeah, like how? Like Ralphie May died when I go dead? No, that's just saying he died. That's just saying when I go dead. I don't know what dead means. When something makes you laugh very hard, that it's killed you.

I'm trying to think of the situation or something. Or like when someone, like you know, like you posted that naked picture of you and Joshua Tree, right? And people comment like. Everyone's a dead. Dead. I'm dead.

I thought they were saying that my dick looked dead. It'd be like if you said you would never send a dick pic. And then the next day, like there's a headline of you like showing a dick pic. And then a friend send it to somebody. Like him a meme. They'd be like dead. I don't know.

I get that. That's a weird reference. I think we're thinking about Bobby's dick this whole time. Well, it's right down dead. And then dick pic, I'll put that next to that. And then just utilize it. And then funny, I'll say. Funny question mark.

You should make this a pamphlet. I'm learning so much today. I might do a dictionary. You should. An urban dictionary. I feel lame for being the urban dictionary today. Like, you know, people got to look at me like, who's this guy? Teach, you know.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't get me wrong. My God, he's so scary today. Don't get me wrong, my friend. OK. It's just that here's the deal, dude. I've known about you for a while. OK. You're lit.

Well, I got a funny story about when we had an encounter, actually. You and I did? Yeah, I got it. But let me just say this, OK? And I know what you do. I know what you represent. And I'm not saying that you're the spokesperson for, you know.

Urban dictionary. The urban dictionary, OK? But can I just say, you're my gateway, all right? You are a representative a little bit. And I'm learning through you. I'm happy to be your gateway. Thank you. Yeah.

When did we meet? I mean, I would see you once in a while just throughout K-town. But then there was one time I saw you at Silver Lake Raman. And then I was just sitting there with my homie. And then you were passing by. I didn't even know you that well at the time. Yeah, yeah. And I said, yo, what's up, Bobby?

And he was like, yo, what's up, guys? Blah, blah. And just kind of like hovered over our table. And then you kind of like kneeled down. Yeah, yeah. Like on our table like this. Yeah. Like looking at both of us.

Yeah. We're just eating an aromathera. And you told us like a really deep secret. What was it? Oh. You literally was like, yo, I got this girl pregnant. That was me. And was that you?

Why were you telling strangers? This was like, and we were just like, and he was just like, I don't know what to do. Like, shoot, I should have forwarded it. What the fuck, Bobby? But it was like the strangest sharing like. Was this like five years ago? Like I just got like a noodle hanging down.

And I'm just like, no, I just, I don't really know, Bobby. That wasn't. Was this approximately five years ago, four years? This was definitely, yeah, more than three years ago. OK, so five years ago. What the fuck, dude? But it was weird because there was no segue. It wasn't like, hey, what's up, Bobby?

Yeah, it was like, there was no like hyping or, you know, like, OK, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I mean, how many people did you tell? How many ramen shops did you go to and talk to? Oh, my god. He literally just dropped there. Yeah, yeah.

I just went like, look like, like we were like. Oh, my god. And he was like, guys, I'm just going to tell you guys something right now, and he just told us. Yeah, I want to apologize. I want to apologize to the world. I really, are you first? I'm so sorry.

First, sorry, I'm so sorry. OK, I do these things when when like crazy things happen or like when personal things happen where I have to blurt it out to the world. And when my dad had a stroke, I took a photo of him in about the die, right? And then one night I was at a week, a couple of weeks later, I was at the comedy store and I was sitting next to Marilyn

Rice Cub from 24. I go, yeah, my dad just had a stroke. And you know, my dad's in the bed like this. So you go, why the fuck are you showing me that? And I go, I don't know why. Like I take, you know, it was the same thing that I did to you. And it is a fucking, I don't do it as much. I don't think I do it anymore.

I try to think not to do it, but I have done it in the past. And I don't know what that's about. Maybe you need. Is that a bad thing, though? It's being vulnerable to share. No, I think it's no. I think you need a sounding board. I think you need somebody, a perfect stranger, like someone

like a therapist to like dump all your thoughts. Right. Because here I don't know this kid, right? And he's eating noodles, right? And I'm telling him the deepest, like darkest secret of thing for no fucking reason to fuck him up is Mila. My first thought was like a joke. No, I was like, does he think I'm somebody else?

That was my first thought. So I was like, that wasn't it. And then and then second, we were just like, yo, this guy is like, you know, we were like, Bobby Lee's crazy. You know what I'm saying? But we were we were like, this guy's an artist. Yeah, like, no, I mean, this guy is an artist. I'm not an artist.

That's what I know. Just I'm not changing. Like I'm not changing. I'm not changing like an weirdo artist type that would do shit like that. Yeah, you know, that's what me and my pros like, yeah. But you know what, let me say something. Let me say something right now that is not a good way to live.

And here's the thing is, is that I'm literally I'm being honest. Is the realest thing I've said is I don't want to do any of that shit anymore. I all those little defense mechanisms or little things that to shock people or to fuck people's day up. I used to do that, you know, and it's like, I don't want to do that anymore. I want to be a normal guy.

Hello wave wave wave. Hello. Hello. Shake your head. Shake your head. No. Hello. Hello.

Yeah, yeah. I want to be, you know, flexing lit. What else? Yeah. And washed out. You know what I mean? Watch that. I want to be normal.

I want to be I want to be normal. I want to be a regular guy. And you know what? I'm so sorry I did that to you. Oh, no, no, we didn't take it. We didn't like ruin our day, you know. Yeah. But you know what?

It's not right for her. Well, you didn't just give my name. I might have. Now, now, five years we finally meet the person you're talking about. Yeah, yeah. I also want you to know that we don't have a child. OK, so.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What happened there? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We had one of those. And it's so weird. I think now when you say that story, I kind of vaguely remember it. You know, I remembered maybe doing something like that.

It just brought me back. And that's just not cool, man. You know, I apologize. I know it didn't fuck up your day. No, it wasn't like all the other times you ran into each other. You told me another secret. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was our thing. Every time you see what is it now Bobby? Yeah, like I've literally gone up to guys I don't know. Yeah in high school. I sucked dick. Yeah, like why would anyone want to know that after the first yeah Right, you know, I was molested by a guy with Down syndrome Like some straight he's trying to eat a salad a fucking you know tender greens at the boba shop, right? And they're like we're eating. Yeah, but I don't want to do that anymore I want to be a normal guy. So I so I apologize to you now you have tattoos everywhere Uh, no, I mean, I have a chest tattoo. I have a Koreatown tattoo across my let me see

Let's just see real quick get it when I was young. Yeah. Oh, that's dope You know what? It wasn't dope when I first got it because it was literally my first tattoo just the font of Koreatown Yeah, and then you got all this trim. Yeah, but it's like for like a couple like couple years I had nothing but Koreatown right like your sponsor by them Exactly I can go to water parks You know, yeah, I just cholo's looking at them. It's like, you know, I'm just you know is I don't know It worked out later on like it's weird because now thinking back is even though I rep K-town like I don't want it

Nestle tatted across does I mean? Just you know representing my community, you know, and I'm saying up here sir. Here's the thing. Yeah, you represent Koreatown Give me can you rattle me five restaurants that are in your top five? Ah, okay. We'll start with we'll have categories. So let's do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let me Just basic Korean barbecue, so let's I'm gonna go barbecue so barbecue because I want to eat there if I it's not on my list I've been out the barbecue game for a little bit. You know what I'm saying. I'll admit that also Give me give me your top three in your barbecue Uh top three Korean barbecue. I wonder if you'll say no, Louisiana fucking rib

Yeah, Korean barbecue Jasper Kim's conom get um, see Well for pork I know what he's gonna say Maybe yeah, well, honey pig honey pig and pysack, which is that been to really I don't think I've ever been to honey pig or Or house or Hyejong Chan That's all you can eat. Oh, that's all you can eat. Is it I've got that the diet the diarrhea But there's also a diet diarrhea there. There's also the new spots, you know, like quarters or oh, yeah

That's like the white people spot Kang Ho-dong And the only reason is the white people spot because it's called quarters and not like some Korean Yeah, and then in that little castle area. There's one across from there. What's up? That's fairly new too. That's only like the last two three years, but you don't eat we just had a Choson that was fucked Choson is like the the bougie Barbecue spot, you know, right? We're still very good because it's very big menu. So you can take people who don't you know, they Like Sam yeah, super. Yeah, super. And then you know, you got parks barbecue. That's like one of my favorite spot, too Yeah, it's still good. It's still delicious. What about that one that fell off? I got she know

Don't I used to go to oh super chip super chip is oh gee spot. That's close like since I was three years Oh, yeah, I used to bring my parents there. Yeah. Yeah, they're still around. Yeah, they're still around I should give it another shot. I went there. I went there with you know, Roy Choi the chef. Yeah, and and Giada Yeah, so Giada shot an episode and invited Roy and Roy invited me and we did a whole thing there was tight Yeah, she's like is she related to Oscar de la Renta? I don't know that is but I know she's a milk She's not food network. Well, you know the thing that's big in Korea town is chicken places of chicken wings and stuff like that, right? Yeah, is there you have a do you have one? I don't know. I don't really know. I know there's a lot of stuff I just see it on my postmates and I just kind of go for one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They have that one right by

On 6th Street. I go to that one. Yeah. Yeah. Go John. Yeah. Go John BBQ chicken BBQ chicken, but then there's also a place like obi bear. What's that? You never been obi bear? It's more like kind of like splotched. What is that? Spatcocks Spatcock kind of chicken and it's like really good obi bear. I like um hamchee bark Hamchee bark for pork ribs. That's the spot stew. Now people listening that don't live in LA. Sorry. Don't give a fuck about Korean food I'm sorry. Sorry. And this is kind of be this is hard for people to spell out like phonetically, you know what I'm saying? Right. That's why like I feel like quarters is doing well just because it's called quarters. I know what that is Yeah, like Baek Jong across the street is Kang Ho-dong, Baek Jong, right?

Yeah, when people ask me like the spots I say quarters because I don't want to spell out shit I don't like seriously. I literally do it out of laziness and that's why like this this is where all some of the Korean business are fucking up because it you know. Oh, you should just name it Dave's You don't know Dave's Korean barbecue. It's really good. That's why I think parks is winning too because it's it's easy Yeah, it's literally just parks barbecue. Yeah, that's interesting. I really thought about I really think that's the reason Parks is like winning Do you think that you and I could open up a restaurant? Yeah, but you think you and I could open up a barbecue restaurant and have it kill it called parkers

Yeah, dude, we we got a like close at two in the morning It's called the marion machine it's called fax machine fax fax. That'd be the slogan like we got the best Korean barbecue fax. Yeah Wow That's actually a great name for a barbecue spot. Yeah fax Korean barbecue with a ct. No, not the x why I like fax a fax machine We'll argue about that during the board. Oh the funny thing about it is so My my dad's like my dad had this business in in downtown like, you know, wholesale business and it was like parks trading company But it was supposed to be like pox, you know, like Korean's pronounce it pox. Yeah, so he spells it pax And he's always felt it like that. Yeah, and I was wondering like, why do you have it pecs?

And he's like, oh it's pox and I was like, oh, it's that's cool though. Pox. Yeah, it's cool Pox is Angelina Jolie's kid Right. Do they spell like that? Wow Do you think when they're choosing babies from around the world they try to choose the cutest one? Or do they just pick yeah when they adopt or do you think they take just the first one ever? That has to be a factor too. You know what I mean? Yeah, like yeah, but cute babies don't always It's hard to see what a what a person's gonna look like some of them. I'm not gonna name who

But they're growing up to be a little weird looking. Yeah That's all Yeah, you can't tell as a baby. You know what fax right? I think as if I was adopting I would go. Do you have photos of the parents? Oh, you want all the stuff? I need all the facts. I need all the facts. Yeah, I'm gonna have to see facts Uh, I mean, I think Even what you can't tell the personality early on too. So they're going off by something, you know, they're going, you know, like What what about the ones that adopt russians and they send them back? They send them back. Oh, yeah a couple of russians. They've sent them back one of them

Five years later. They sent it back who trial like this. We did this one's this one plays with knives No, the russians are the knives. They fucking love it. It's a good instinctual thing They'll either rustle bears Or fuck with you with her knives. Could be like hubby. Yeah, you're not being real. They're a tough fucking lot the russians Yeah, and that's a fax right and that's I kind of just also say, you know, because um

I want to say something to you Dumbfounded. Oh, wow No, you you earned it No, thank you. You finally earned your rap name. You earned your rap name Today, street cred. In my head. I was going. I'm going to call this motherfucker Jonathan parks all day every day Right, but you know what? Look at me right now You fucking earned dumbfounded to me, man. Thanks, young. You're legit. Oh Dongseng

You earned a young today, too Young you are the young title. Oh my god. I'm about to cry. I should felt weird, too But you know what here's the thing you know how to talk You you have opinions you have ideas and you express those things And that's what made this podcast so good Is because a lot of times we bring people here that aren't comedians Right, but they they don't know how to do it. All right, you're too legit to quit. Oh He had to throw that in I had to throw that in here comes all the old ones. Yeah, that's real

You better check yourself. You got it. You got it. You got it. I'm washed I looked at a lot. I got looked at. You have to look at stuff. I'm dead Because I'm laughing so hard Now at the end we do this thing called um unhelpful advice. It's an email question And you will answer it accordingly. It doesn't have to be um on the dot. Just whatever your opinion is sure Unhelpful advice with barbie kalala and dumbfounded Hi tiger belly. I'm a 27 year old man from norway. Sorry for my bad english I've been a tiger belly fan since podcast one

So for around two years now, I've been using amphetamines speed three to four times each month I wouldn't call myself an attic, but I see it as a problem I use amphetamines when I haven't had sex in a while and want to masturbate Bobby knows what I'm talking about bingo Other than other than that. I coke once in a while while I'm clubbing or something Whatever I come down from amphetamines. I always tell myself I'll never do it again, but that never happens. What can I do? Eric Well, they used to take um amphetamines housewives did it a lot in the 50s and 60s, you know and um

Um You can still live a life, you know doing amphetamines math is one thing I don't know what he means by a feta feta feta feta speed It could be any pill like pill format be on like add He says he says he's used to coke too. Does that include coke? No, but still it's an uppercut. That's what I figured out. Do you see he does coke too? Or he doesn't coke and speed. Yeah, but math is so problematic for me because I know coke heads who can do recreationally forever Right, but then math is just something that you get stuck with if you're done math

Uh, no, but I've done like everything else. Yeah, but methods, you know, honestly meth like kind of messed up like my whole high school Like I went to like marshal high school, which was in Los Feliz and like It was just like it's like a very la school But I remember like when meth got like really introduced and it spread like a wildfire in my high school And I had friends like that. I just they changed like instantly Yeah, you know, it's a great Sponsored by no, I'm not saying but I'm just saying It's a great one. Yeah, that's that's what I've heard. It feels so good

And you're just up and you're like I want to build things and I have so many plans And you're just sitting there. You don't do actually anything to pick up scabs. You know what I mean? And then it um, math is really like it induces um I love hallucinations. You get like audible right like um, my very close family member of what I talked about before My sister was a meth addict my older sister and years after even when she got sober she would still hear Um, just like remnants of like hallucinations and stuff, right? And it would my Norwegian friend. I want to say this. Um, you know like earlier today I said that I was hanging out with Chris Dilley. Not a big deal, but um, he's flexing. He's flexing right now, but

And we were talking about we were with a guy named Bert Chrysler. I just heard of him Big big flexing flexing me and Bert and Dilley. I'm just hanging out. Um And I was we were talking about Chris and and how he he's never been drunk He's never done a drug All he does is drink iced coffee That's his thing. I've known a lot of guys like that that are successful and at the end of the day, you know, a lot of um

Chris is naturally gifted and whatnot, but A lot of success has to do with he just doesn't he doesn't party in that way, you know, he He wakes up. He goes to the gym. He writes jokes He has plans and he he follows through with these plans and he's a nice guy and whatnot, right? So my Norwegian friend, you can I mean, you know at the end of the day If you were to weed all that stuff out of your life, your life could improve I think it definitely will improve. Yeah, right. I mean, I you know, even for me like I I drink a lot You know, and I dabble in a lot of the shit, you know, occasionally

recreationally in probably the same way, but it's like That shit does not help. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, and I've also had moments where I just don't do that and I go on these little sober streaks for like a couple months And my life drastically improves right now. Yeah, it just does I could tell you know, so it is a proven thing But it's like, you know, we're just humans, you know, so it's gonna happen. Yeah at the very least like Don't do math. You can do coke once in a while, but be like dumb. Don't do math Do the other stuff. Yeah, just don't do that. Yeah, I think that's that's a good like just the starter advice Yeah, you know what I mean? Like it's the starter

Math and heroin just just stay out of that. The other stuff is not as bad And you know, and it's as simple as this anyone listening and it you know, it goes to the principles of how I was taught But it's just just don't do it today Today I'm gonna do something else. I'm gonna go to the gym. I'm gonna eat nice. I'm gonna do this But I'm not gonna do Math or you know, because it doesn't sound like he's an addict He's not doing it every fucking single day. You know, one thing that I've always been envious of Is actually people who are able to work really well on drugs like functional. Yeah, like because like rappers, right?

There's a lot of rappers who could be in the studio like drinking tons of lean, you know and like Uh, you're being high as hell like drunk in the studio and just recording tons of songs Like when I do drugs or drink like like party, you know, I'm saying I yeah, I'm not I can't really record or work in the studio I like being sober when I do that same. I don't think I could ever be functional in any way and also I just feel like I get I feel like shit the next day. I'm one of those it doesn't bounce back real quick Oh, I know comics that are high as fuck And and when they're doing stand-up and like I just wrote a new 20 minutes On stage and you're like what happens there when I'm on drugs. I can't talk

I don't want to be around people. Yeah, you know, I'm more like, you know, I like being alone introvert I'm not a partier. I like being alone in a box And just in my own head. I think that's when it becomes like it could be a problem and scary because like me If I'm on shit, like I'm like I'm like I'm the life of the party. I'm giving Ted talks Yes, you're not a drug addict me I like being in a dingy dungeon sitting on a wooden or stone bench

Oh, right with my ass against this cold slab, right? It's dripping wet And I'm like kneeled over because I can't breathe You know, and my head is just I'm drowned out It's that sounds like heaven to me Oh, gosh, I honestly I that right there is I know it sounded dark. Yeah, but I find that to be where I'm happy But whatever ends up happening is you get sober again and then you see

Where you're at gets that does that get like then that's when it gets sad So then you have to do more drugs To get back in there and it's just it compounds on itself and then you end up on the precipice of death Welcome to another episode of tiger belly The most positive positive uplifting. Yeah Yeah, dumbfounded Is there anything that you want to promote?

Um, I don't know. This might be coming out when I'm already on the road because I'm leaving on Monday So what would this air is when Wednesday Wednesday? Oh, it's airing this week. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, this is week. Okay. Perfect So, yeah, I'm going 31 city u.s. In Canada tour. Oh my god. Yeah, so you guys Oh my god. Yeah, my guy is a thing too. Actually like current thing like in rap world people are like Oh, I see I see those new shoes my guy It's like it's like a hot sling right already my guy. Yeah, my guy is a thing. You've been saying that for years That's my I started that. No, it's an old thing that I think that's what you that I started All right. All right my guy

Asian accent. Um, yeah, so 31 cities. So you you do one nighters in the cities Uh, yeah, there's only a couple of days that we have off after a show Yeah, let me ask you this is do you do take a plane to every gig or you take a bus? No, we're taking it. It's it's like a sprinter van. I can't afford a bus yet. Yeah, I mean, but that's like the level How many seats do you play? I mean, how many people come to your shows? Uh, right now, I would say it's anywhere. Well, we have a couple cities. That's like a thousand to Wow, but uh, usually right now the average right now is probably three to seven hundred. That's great. Yeah It's a lot that's that doesn't mean all the cities are selling well

So my tickets, but I mean, there's a lot of cities I do well But I wanted to add a lot of new cities on this run right kind of test it out So, well, I mean also let me say this though. I have been in certain markets Yeah, where I don't do well at first, right, you know the club will go. Yeah, we We only sold 150 200 tickets a show And then you can get you can get depressed, but I know this for a fact afterwards Probably 80 90 of the time the club owner or whoever will go

We can build here though because your shows were good, right, right if the shows are good Then it doesn't matter what the numbers are in the beginning because there we when you come back You'll double it. Is it the words word of mouth spreading or what is it exactly? For my shows, I don't know what your show is like, but my show is this is is that holy shit people go We didn't think you were going to be that funny Okay, we didn't think that you were going to do this specific thing that I do right and they go I gotta bring my friend Joe Joe next time Right and so the next time they bring Joe, but everyone brings somebody

Right, right and then you know and then you go back to fifth or sixth time And it's you're doing guaranteed business, right? It takes a long time, but that's old school Showbiz and that's what I like about you going on this tour I'm still on that grind man. It's not no. It's this is going to be forever for you. Yeah Okay, I hope I mean I hope so No, it is No, it is no, you know what it is. Here's the thing You know, I've been you know a lot of times I get I got to go to El Paso this weekend. Yeah, I got it on my

Uh route to El Paso. Right. So I'm playing El Paso this weekend And I don't know what's gonna I haven't been there in 20 years almost But you know what? I'm I'm excited about it Because I haven't been there a long time. I don't know what's gonna happen And also I can show the people that live there That I'm legit too and I'm going to show them what I do And my you know point of view the way I do it

And so I'm excited and if if there's only 50 people to show Well, I think a lot has to do with I have a show coming out and I don't really have to rely on it But my point is It is a cool thing. I mean, you know, some of those cities never get shit You know what I'm saying? So to me, that's the cool thing that you actually included them You know, they're like these kids sometimes can't ever go like they can't drive Three four hours to the next city. You know what Paulie shore, you know what he says Did you can always make a living? I go, how he goes look where I'm playing

Patonka dunk Canada Oh some city, right, right? Because I'm the only thing that's been there for five years did it's real shit And so when he shows up at that holiday end the whole city comes It's a whole man. Yeah, my point though is is that you know, do you think he gives a fuck? The difference between Chicago and that right right you go to Chicago I mean, I I went to Philadelphia once. I showed up on my first show I'm not even kidding you at the helium

There was 20 people there On a Friday And I go, what the fuck? They go, I know but right across the street is Chappelle God Oh Well, I'm gonna fire my agent That happens even in LA, you know, my LA show is slower than a lot of other shows

Right because they have so much shit going on every week. They're spoiled. They're spoiled. You know, I mean So it's good to go to these smaller towns and to show them, you know and give them entertainment Everyone deserves to get entertained for sure Anyway, you're a very pleasurable guest. I really really enjoyed you. I really did immensely and um, I've had um Many people on the show and you were probably one of my biggest surprises Oh, thank you, man. I just don't I don't really I'm not no. No, I'm being real. I really enjoyed you I really enjoyed you. No, I took it genuinely No, I'm being real

You know what I mean? I don't I don't want to kind of game your plus. I'm not playing any game. I you're playing right now, dude I literally meant that I take what I mean What I was trying to mean is this I legitimately mean there's no sarcasm Either so I'm just saying that you were a really really good guest. All right. All right All right Uh, we just mindfucked. Where can we uh, where can people find your tickets for your tour? Oh, just dumbfounded.com dumbfound.com real simple. Cool. Uh, do you want to come back? Are we good? I think we're good. Good. Uh, so guys make sure you uh, go on brooklyn.com

Uh promo code belly get some sheets for yourself and also we're on spotify So don't remember that we're on spotify open the app on the mobile or desktop click on the browse channel And then click on podcast section. You can probably also find dumbfound music on there as well spotify is my favorite It's the best where all my playlists are at. Also, you could probably follow my playlist. Oh I have good ones So, uh, make sure you follow tiger belly on instagram at tiger belly on twitter at the tiger belly and email us any questions at the tigerbelly at gmail.com Have a good one. Bye

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