TigerBelly - Episode 134: Oliver Hudson & The Rice Krispies

Episode Date: March 21, 2018

Oli is a paintball renegade. Bobo supports spines. We talk revenge billboards, elbowing executives, The Eagles, a can of spam, and living in the chaos.Merch available on www.thetigerbelly.comFollow us on Spotify. Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Hey You Four three two one Hi, welcome to another episode of the Tiger Belly. My name is Bob captain Bob We've got Kalyla George Gilbert and thick dick He said he had a thick dick before that that's how he used to do some cells

Well, he goes over. I met you a maker. I'm a thick dick. I go What I met your maker And you have a thick dick. No, I didn't say that yeah, yeah, but I'm spam. Yeah, that's so thick. It's very thick Four by four. Congratulations. Anyway, I want to thank the people of El Paso, Texas. I was just there and Juarez It's Juarez. Okay, El Paso But a lot of Tiger Belly fans out there a lot of hispanicas and I got a lot of when I was on stage I got a lot of nosotras papaya

People just randomly yelling that out. Is that because of Tiger Belly or because of Mexicados? No, well, they would know it. You think that's just the term that you didn't even know you were just in Texas All these Mexicans just started yelling that at you. Well, the Mexicans would know it's grammatically wrong Yeah, yeah, it doesn't make any me sense No one's just yells that out Gilbert. I don't know it's like worse, right? It's like we the people but like we papaya comma. Oh, I make sense now We have a guest tonight, but he's not here yet. He'll be here soon Okay, but I wanted to start the podcast a little earlier because I wanted to address something

Last week was a very difficult time for Tiger Belly We had we were on the front page of reddit rage. We're the first page of reddit and we also on the chive and and And basically what it was was people were lynching my beautiful girlfriend Kalyla Coloco as you know They were saying that she number one. She's not my wife. Get that shit, right? That shit fucking right right now She's my fucking girlfriend That's the only thing that was my only complaint So I just want to address that part which makes me a real

It makes me a non skillful gold digger if I've been with you for five years Yeah, and I don't have a ring on my finger. Yeah, I am the worst gold digger So basically what it was was they They took a little tiny clip of a podcast. We did a long time ago and basically Kalyla saying well, what kind of if you're poor what kind of money you're gonna throw out my tears That's basically what it was right But it was but the context of it was taken out of place because of the fact that we were talking about you after surgery how well I wasn't emotionally available and

Let me just say this And and and you can ask any girlfriend that I've ever been with It's a fucking Nightmare to date me All right, if it was just right, it's it's an absolute nightmare. I mean just admit it Someone say something All right, I smell I Have fucked up feet. I have I have poor social

You know Behaviors out there. I have bad hygiene. I'm I'm just disgusting. I fart every 10 seconds. I I'm just I'm dumb. I don't listen. I don't know much about anything and I'm I don't cuddle. I'm not caring It's it's it's it. I'm a difficult person to date. Okay, and I'm telling you right now I Don't know what it is, but there's something about me that she loves and that's what she's in it for She's not in it for anything else. I'm telling you right now. In fact, she doesn't have a fucking car Right. She has no fucking car this bitch. All right. What just let me just talk. That's a choice

I understand that but that's an I understand that but it's like you don't environmentally conscious choice I had a car when I met you. Yeah, I got rid of it. I had a truck the worst kind of car Yeah, and I was like, she doesn't get anything from the relationship. All right. She gets food and she's losing in life She's losing her soul. Yeah, but I mean five years wasted really Five years of her life wasted Okay, if you think about where I was before I met you I Had You know a middle-class life, right? Yeah, I had a home by the beach

Making I mean a job what 80k a year maybe might not be a lot to people But that's enough for a single person like myself. Yeah um, I I had a nice life. I have you know college degree. I had pets good family good friends a nice life Yeah, and then an and a car Even two bicycles a skateboard And then she has to let my gray dead alien dick and

Into her vagina and that right there is You know, I've had to pay prostitutes more money because they saw my dick and they said no way No way. No, thank you, sir triple All right, I'm just not a catch, you know, and it's kind of a nightmare for her It's not a nightmare. So I know there's love, but my point is is this let me just say this last thing Is is that I didn't even want to fucking address it because it's so dumb that that's even out there and at the end of the day I Know that you suffered greatly. It was a terrible thing. I felt really bad about it

people you know Came to our defense. Thank you. Yeah tiger belly fans came to our defense. Thank you But at the end of the day and you're gonna hate to hear this It's it's gonna pass. I know that it's gonna pass and You know the reason why people are talking about it at the end of the day is because we're on the fucking map And it's hard to say that it almost felt like a personal vendetta though There are we there's a list of people. I know it could have been a short list of people

You guys are good at doing that figure out who it is. Yeah. Yeah, but as a matter of fact I'll give you any tiger belly listener $2,000 of my own money if you find the IP address of this Money and if you're able to prove that it's this person who started it I'll give you 2k of my own money. I already know who you're talking about From your face No, it's not interesting what you can do wrath No, what happens if you find the name? I want that person to be on our podcast. Oh

So you want okay, I Mean Find the IP dress to match it with who I think they The original Okay, so there's original I think that the original version Yes, so let me let me get this clear Who posted it on reddit with that title? Yes, that's who we need

But it's it's a one of five names. That's good that you narrowed it. Okay, and No, I don't think that it's that I think it was probably just a fucking cheeto-fingered Little dick fucking dude. There we go. There's the anger. There's the anger, but I mean, I think okay When in the history of anything other than like vice have have is has there ever been a true interview of a cheeto-fingered troll? Right, like I think that's pretty interesting like hey, what do you do all day? Why the hate why this but it's not just that It's like what this cheeto-fingered. I don't know what cheeto-fingered means. I mean somebody eats a lot of cheetos Well, I'm cheeto-fingered. I love cheetos. I'm cheeto-fingered, too. What the fuck? I love cheetos Yeah, you with Trump is he's cheeto-fingered. He's very cheeto-fingered. I have a theory about the whole thing

I also think that if you were a white man that this wouldn't be Single I don't think that this video would have been pulled out with such like interest from the rock Okay, so here's a theory. The theory is this is that Because we we have contact we have rich we know rich Asian dude That's married to a beautiful white lady and his email to us was basically It's a white dude that did it to desexualize me. It's not just one Asian dude who wrote me There's actually a lot of like Asian men look at George. Look at George. He's upset George you you posted it for the views

All right, you're threatened by me asshole. Yeah, you fucking constantly desexualize our captain your beard You think shaving your beard? We know who you are dude and what you look like You look foolish clean shaven by the way Foolish Grow that beard pronto. It looks You had a chance Now no chance at what pussy Look at that face yuck so smoothie

It also people Also people people when you come to my shows just in El Paso I just want to say this don't go to the don't go to the bodyguard or the doorman go George is a pink dick That's so weird as it that's not that's not a code to get back to see me Freaks them out. The body or the the bouncers don't know that code. They don't know like pre. They're not pre Yeah, so when you just randomly walk up to a big guy at a club and go hey is George is a pink dick They don't have the context of so they think that either you know me They know a guy named George. You're like what like in the role of the example. Do I know a George or

It's gay. It's a little like you're hitting on me. Yeah, you know, so just don't do that. That's weird But I'm sorry that you went through that bit. It's okay to to to wrap this up nicely To get the funny stuff out the way first but on a serious note, I Always appreciated our fan base always always. I always know that you guys are there through our ups and downs But I was never I've never been able to appreciate them as much as I do now because of all of this Yeah, there's I've had so much support male female and

It made me want to get to know all of you even more. I've never felt so much love or There it is, you know There is emotion and also and also it's like on this if you try to desexualize Papa You can't do it. It's like trying to unspiritualize the Lord Wow The Lord is pure spirit and I'm poor pure sex All right, who else comes up with terms like this? No, no, so that's papaya or science alert. Nobody nobody, okay? Yeah, what's up? Who else can go into urban Bob? No, one. No one. Okay. I'm pure sex

You know, I let me just say something right now guys. Um, I Know how sexy I am man. I look in the mirror dude, and I fucking I get half heart Do you have job? Yeah, man. Damn. That's wow. Look at my fucking Instagram me on top of the mountain That's the king and I Is that not right? That is so right so now Oliver's coming so but we got that out of the way But thank you so much Tiger Belly fans We love you so much and we were gonna find this fucking cocksucker that did this And we will find them. It's gonna be a war

Against like a 14 year old. No, I don't give a fuck Orange finger, right? Cheeto fingers Cheeto fingered We're gonna get and for the record I've had two abortions if I wanted to trap him. I would have kept one of those retarded babies They're not gonna they're not retarded. That's you're making an assumption, babe They would have 1600s on their SATs. Okay, maybe they will yeah But that's cuz like of just pure falling on the spectrum Also by the by let's just listen to this by the by listen to this okay is is that I did this to my body

Choice all right. I look retarded by choice When I was a baby I was cute All right, I and throughout my whole life. I was cute, right and what I did was I threw Garbage inside my body and I lived this way right to look like the way I like the way I look I eat sugar cubes. Yeah, I love sugar cubes. Okay, so I did this to myself But if I wanted to look like Steven youn God willing God willing I would please please God. Please make it anyway. He's coming Just do a countdown again just to do it

Mm-hmm five four three two one blue. Oh, I start You guys We got a gill again, we got George again, we got Kaleila again, we got Fucking thick dick back here dick and we have a special guest none tell me something right I'm gonna tell you something right now. We have a very special guest. Oh, um, you Know he's on a series coming out On ABC

March 27th after Roseanne. Oh, and it's it's he's one of the leads. He's a lead in it and He's mr. Show business is what I like to call him. Oh, yeah Mr. Show Mr. Show business will like to call him and he's handsome. He's likable very funny. He's gifted His name is Oliver Hudson give him a round of applause There you are I can't believe you're here in my out. I've been looking forward to this moment Have you ever really have this is my first podcast. You've never done a podcast before cherry We have you've been asked to do podcasts. No

No No, that's I'm low-key man. I know you know because David spade told me something about you David spade you did a series with David spade correct rules of engaged rules of engagement Yeah, and he told me right when I put the pilot that you don't text back. Yeah. Yeah, you're right Yeah, you're a little bit of a mystery man. Yeah, but you're not very good at the text back No, no as the lead of the show It's it's a good day two days sometimes yeah, I have to write answer me I know get can I just tell you why though? Can I tell you why yeah?

Because when I was on animal practice, okay, Justin Kirk was the lead. Nice. God, you know him. No, okay? Nice guy. He's not as blue as you talented guy, okay, I love you Justin if you're listening all right, but I would text him back He would text right away, but just the reason why I spend so long Not texting you back. Yeah, it's because David told me that you don't text back Oh, so you're trying to sort of reverse Trying to reverse the flow of whatever you're fucking doing Dave and I aren't a very good run by the way of texting Marco Polo This app thing where you have you heard of it? No, you speak into it and it's video and it sends the video

It's basically text. It's video text. Ah, and it's been going very well. We've established a very Nice really yeah, yeah, yeah, so I'm scared now why because if I don't text spade back I Get nervous because I know that it's a thing for him. It's it's his deep insecurities It's not just that he like tells everyone. I know that you don't do it I know so it's bad for you. Yeah, no, I know and I'm beginning to do it. I know yeah I know let's just have a better text relationship. Then what what do you think agree? I you just need to respond a little bit quicker No, no one would kind of say this. Yeah, I'll all right. Let's go through the history of our texting then, okay? All right, so Okay, first of all, look just look answer me all your number or your numbers on there answer me answer me answer me

Yeah, yeah, but our his and then this is weird. This is weird. He just sends me Just his headshot And then I'm gonna show you the funniest. Here's the funniest text he ever said, okay? So that one morning where I didn't show up remember that morning. Oh, yeah, what was your thought that was rough? I was fucking nervous and I was calling him and calling him. Yeah, this is the morning. He didn't wake up Yes, yeah, he's not responding. Yeah, and I thought he might have been dead. I mean, I didn't know I didn't know what Suicide yeah, yeah, something could have happened Doesn't show up to I don't know you I didn't know you that well, so I'm like

I'm gonna die from fatness. I don't know man. Cuz I eat bad. You know, I'm sober exactly Oh, you thought I relapsed boom And then he knows me He knows me. Oh my god, so I'm not so I haven't showed up to work, right? Yeah, so he texts me this right Ken Jeong This is who they're replacing replace. Yeah, I'm gonna replace which is a very very funny fact That was a scary day when I showed up now, dude. Yeah, you are because you're nervous anyway Yeah, so just being in that have you ever worked with anyone more insecure than me. No, no Honestly other than myself. Yeah, we talked about that. I know my god this guy, you know, because I I'm better now

But I would get so fucked up in my head. Yeah, and I'm everyone hates me and I suck to tell about that one day There was a one day in the pilot. We were shooting on the street. Yeah, we were jogging Yeah, I was so in my head. I was freaked the fuck out And if it was anybody else Right, I was working if I was working with anybody else. It would have been a nightmare Because it's like, you know, sometimes I open up and go Feeling a little in my head, you know, whatever and the people go, okay, and then they'll move on But this guy right here. This is why I love this guy

He was like, well, what's going and then he was telling me about it his experiences, right? How he has problems too and what I need to do and what what a gift Well, I was also tough love because it was like get your shit together. You're fucking good. Relax. Calm down Stop fucking going crazy right now because before each take Spontaneously All fucking nuts and I like we're doing a TV show. This is not a big deal. Oh, yeah I understand that but couldn't just say something. Okay, face. Let me just say something. Okay. It is a big deal Well, it's only is it's only it's a big deal if you make it a big deal

It's all about what how you perceive the situation Right, that's what it is life is a big deal if you make it a big deal if you don't then it's not Right, so it's about how you it's about your thoughts. I know you don't think it's that big of a deal You're gonna you're gonna innately act Comfortable, right, but you're too in your fucking head and you make yourself crazy. It's easy to say, you know what? This is my I'm in a very amazing I'm in an amazing place right now and if I fuck up I fuck up and everyone else fucks up on set the director fucks up The fucking craft serves everyone fucks up. So we're actors see see we can fuck up

But that's all I need to hear Okay, sometimes you need a Yoda Right sometimes oracle. Yeah, an oracle oracle, right some lady cooking cookies a black lady Right cookies and then there are other kids and they're bending spoons with their minds No Yeah, yeah, but I'm a part of it. Okay. Yeah, I'm the one that one of the guys that led them into the room Okay, right. I'm like a side guy whatever right, but it wasn't a one-time fix Because then throughout the show

Progressively kind of got worse we did a scene in a barbershop with finesse. Remember that? Oh my god It was the last it was the last scene of the day Yeah, and we were trying to get it and Bobby was fucking up his lines or whatever And he had a cell phone in the scene because he was supposed to be on the phone And he would fuck up a lot and start smashing his head with the cell phone like buh-bum Oh, my dude in front of everyone. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was like you gotta chill out. You gotta like relax You're gonna hurt yourself. What we're doing a comedic scene on a fucking shit Right, yeah, yeah, I'll meltdowns even after oh, yeah

Oh, yeah, but the thing is and again, I get that because I'm the same same way Yeah, I mean you go in you put so much pressure on yourself for a job And you really want it bad and you go in and you fuck up and it's like life has ended It's like this is I blew it and now what now what the fuck am I gonna do? Yeah, and you want to kill yourself I totally understand that. Yeah, what it also is is that? It's that I got the job so easy that I'm trying to make it hard for myself Mm-hmm. I think I subconsciously am trying to make it hard for myself. Mm-hmm. I think that you are comfortable in the chaos Yeah, wow, that's your happy place. You know, I mean, that's not healthy. It's not healthy, but that's

That's where you feel most at ease. Yeah, crazy as that sounds. Yeah, you feel most comfortable in the chaos in the Anxiety, yeah, and here's another thing that I noticed about myself is the neediness. Oh, yeah. Oh my god I hate being needy. I know I mean one time I was walking Like we're I was walking and our executive producer Emily was in a little golf cart. Yeah, right Right, and she drove she saw me She fucking saw me. Yeah, right and she just drove past And then as they turn the corner, I got on my hands and knees and I had a full blown Yeah

And how he's like I gotta come home. No one on set likes me. Well, the first day we had the table read Yeah, yeah, Peter Roth who's the president of Warner Brothers television. He's a hugger. He knows he's known Everybody and Bobby when he went in for a hug with Bobby, but Bobby would you go for like a handshake handshake? Yeah, yeah, and it did not work out No, it turned out where I put my elbow hit it into his chest right it was very Awkward and I hit the president of Warner Brothers his solar. Yeah in a solar box And then we kind of kind of stood there in this awkward, you know, I mean, oh, did I just He literally thought like he might be fired. Yeah, I think I just elbowed my way out of show business

I did like a fucking MMA like Andrew Sue Anderson Silva. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and of course, I see that I like I like to twist the knife and I'm like, yeah, that's not a good thing right. Yeah, but that's not cool You know, you need to hug that guy. I know but then you know what my hugs after that were probably legit Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I expected it squeeze hard. Yeah. Yeah You're soft to the man It's fine. He's a nice man. He's a good thing. Yeah But you know what, you know, but at all said and done we got through it. We did man. Yeah, and the show looks good Yeah, you said that you liked you've seen it. I do I I've been doing I've been doing for like 20-something years

And I love what I do This is the first show that I have done that I'm actually proud of and excited about Wow, you know I'm happy for my job. I'm happy to have done rules engagement for however long I made good money all of that But from a creative standpoint, it's been fun, but not like fulfilling this even though it is a network comedy There's something special about it. I think yeah, and I also um, I I even can tell mm-hmm. I really can yeah, there's just something or get in terms of I know my you have my craziness but just in terms of like Me talking to like Lindsay price plays my wife and there was that you weren't there about there was a moment

We were in a car and we're driving we're doing a scene, right? and we were just talking in between and there was such a comfortable kind of a feeling with her and And um, usually I'm I don't become friends or I even versus like people necessarily but with this show you can tell that if it continues That it'll it'll be you know mean good relationships. Oh, yeah, we all got we all got we all click very quickly Yeah, I mean it happened quickly. Yeah, it's nice when that happens. Yeah, so that in that way it's cool, too But um, I'm just trying to let it go man. You know, you're gonna be good. Yeah, I think that one scene where you guys were the jogging scene Yeah, yeah, I think I told him to take a beta blocker, but I think he took like four instead

He calls me in a panic. He's like I I'm getting really dizzy and I feel like I'm gonna How many did you take and and and I seriously was like should I call an ambulance? Yeah. Oh, yeah I took those for a minute. I took beta blockers for a minute You did because I went through a period of about a year and a half Whereas I just lose my shit like I go into an audition and I I would lose my fucking mind And I'd forget everything and my mouth would dry up and I'd be like I would ruin my entire shit And so I you know, yeah, it's not you know, I just want to tell people listening that I'm not weak No, I have talent. It's the opposite. It's the opposite of week. You're a sensitive actor

Yeah, yeah who wants to please and when you don't you get all fucked up But it's not even just that though you have to understand that I don't come from the culture of acting right right? I'm from clubs right and then one day, you know, your agent goes. Why don't you try acting and then you go, oh Then all of a sudden you're in a room and you have to act Right no training never done it before right and then you continue and then you know It's like what my old a sponsor used to say you fake it to you make it right, but I'm always faking it I think we all I understand that but you look at somebody like like Lindsay's so good, right? She's money. She's money, right? And then you're you know, you're I play her husband

So you're in a scene with her and you know, and you could tell she's in it Right, and I'm looking at her and I'm out watching You're in a scene I do the same thing. I'm supposed to be my next line, but I'm looking and I'm like Oh, but I but I do have to say though so when we shot the pilot and what they do is they test the pilot in front of a bunch of Test audience and they've got these dials and it's such an archaic way to sort of tell whether shows good or not But every actor's tested meaning, you know, we loved Oliver. We didn't like this person over Bobby tested the highest of all of the actors

Everyone loved Bobby the most Love Bobby the most I'm out of it because it was most comfortable in the pain. Yeah Here's the thing. Here's the thing though, but let me say this. Yeah, let me see this my friend. Okay If the show becomes a hit which I think it could be I don't want to jinx it Yeah, but I think you know, you know Neil Brennan, you know Neil Neil Brennan, if you don't know he's a stand-up, but he also created the Chappelle show. He directs a lot of things Neil came up to me at the store of four days ago and he said hey, can I talk to you and I go? Yeah, and he goes that thing you're in I

Go what thing love? No, he goes that network thing that you're in with Oliver and Jenna. I Go, yeah, he goes That could stay on for a while And I go because he's he's Well, he's seen me do a bunch of shit over the years. He's never said anything Yeah, he'll go egg Congratulations, but not yeah, he literally sat me down and he said and I'll tell you why it's relatable

You go, it's a great cast. It's seen. It just seems Like it should be on right and I also think that just given the climate It's just something that we would rather see Mm-hmm family show. It's got a lot of heart. I don't want to watch anything politically driven It's just something that gives off. It's it's a feel-good show, right? What I say what the show was when I and during the pilot I had I equated it with a band. Do you remember Zeppelin? No, no, I Not fighting okay, what you know the Eagles all right, I'll tell you why The Eagles came in the early 70s, right?

But it was during the tail end of the Vietnam War. The country was Just in a depression not financially, but just it was gloomy, you know after the JFK assassination after Martin Luther King all that stuff, right? So The Eagles comes along this kind of like this optimistic, you know, there there are, you know, southern kind of rock But like I'll take it easy. Yeah, happy just relaxing positive kind of music and people Gravitated toward it because it was just to escape What was going on? I think in many ways Splitting up together could be the Eagles. Well, I'll tell you why

All right, I saw you laugh and George. Fuck you. All right, you piece of shit. All right I'm not saying it in some grandiose way that we're like the shit. All I'm all I'm saying is is that it is a light, you know, cute Really kind of a positive kind of a show and it's not Yeah, we don't talk about politics or you know, really none of the social issues are you know, we're just Real people. Well, we're also touching upon a subject matter that has been going on for a long-ass time People do have been doing this forever, but no one's shown it or talked about it We haven't seen this in any sort of medium. Yeah, and I think people I mean everyone I tell the log line, too

Oh, this is what the show is about. They say, oh my god. Well, that's relevant. I mean, it's my life That's my life. I know somebody. Yeah, or whatever it is and it no one's ever sort of Shown what we're showing you're right in this show, you know, so people are gonna I think people I think I've only seen one You've seen how many four They're good. They're good. Okay. No, they're good. That's all I care about. They're really good And I think this is gonna be great for you I do because you were talking about how you're all at one at a year You're a comedian yeah, and you're saying I've never been an actor and this and this yeah

You're doing things in this show that are show a completely different side That's what people probably have never seen that one scene. We did the pilot Yeah, you know, we had it. We had a beat a moment where you have a where you have a line by saying well Maybe she's maybe you should do this and maybe you should do that and it's sincere and it's real. Yeah. Yeah dramatic That's what that's all yeah, and never done. No one sees you like this Because your butthole looks like How you are as an act Have you just never seen my butthole. Oh, you've never seen this but no, I've never seen it shown in my butthole

I'm sir. No not yet. Not yet because you gave me that compliment. I'm gonna give you a gift. Oh God, I will take I thought you were to show him your butthole. That's right here Tell the audience this right here is an awesome Kira flesh leg and they molded her badge right here, right? And it's all it's got all that stuff in here, and it's got um that the the material is very vaginal like Yeah, and see this little pocket here and absorbs all the liquids. Oh, yeah, so yeah, she's a very good friend We have a bunch of these but um, wow look at this Here you go that I have gotten in a lot. Why do you like awesome? You've know her work. I know her work. Yes. Yeah

Yeah, she's you know, she's just she's great at what she does She is she's good, but can I say something about her but going back to the she she is real It seems she enjoys what she does, you know, there's certain people who do you know if you like what you do It's gonna come across there's something really special about her because she actually comes from good stock Her grandfather was like a Japanese diplomat her parents are together. She went to a private school in New York She was just a hypersexual teen right and she parlayed that into this Career as an adult film star without getting into drugs without getting into Hooking without getting to the hearts of she just really loves to fuck. Yeah, and I think that's that sets her apart from the other

A lot of different other, you know adult films, right? Well porn has taken a complete left turn right from when I Started watching porn, you know, there was still pubic hair first of all If you saw anything without pubic hair on a porn it was like, oh my god, what is that? Yeah Now it's hard to find you. Yeah. Yeah. Are you a you like pubic hair? No pubic hair. No pubic hair Yeah, yeah, why would it why is that do you think that's just clean that's what it's cleaner It's nothing to do with youth. Yeah, and by the way, I've been by two weeks ago I went with my wife. I fucking took it all off

You shaved wax you wax Aerodynamic Wow, I've only done it twice, but you know what though. Yeah Yeah It pays off Okay, why because my wife really likes it and things happen in that region that don't usually happen Oracle yes, there's pathways. There are there are there's new pathways that when you shave it you see the path Oh, you do. Yeah, I've never had my I've never had my knees by my ears Yeah, so it's it pays off nicely. Yeah, but I will say this though the ink. I got a couple ingrown hairs that are

Not fun. It's not fun. It's almost not even worth it. It's just a fucking you have to from somebody who waxes Frequently you have to really exfoliate after you wax. Yeah, the ingrowns don't form. Yeah, but that's not my thing What's exfoliating? Well, you just take like a luffa and you make sure that that skin doesn't have any like Trapped hairs and stuff. So you allow it to sprout the hair that it gets stuck in there. Yeah I don't think I've ever had an ingrown hair. It's really common. Yeah, I don't really have any the best thing on YouTube like my obsession You're not you're not why is that not good? It's not good No, that's good, I'm not good when you have Nothing you should experience. Oh, I see. Yeah, never see those ingrown removals on YouTube

I could watch it for hours and hours and hours. It's the most satisfying thing. I've ever seen in my life It makes me salivate. Wow It's because you have like 18 hairs and one little pore and when they finally like pick it out. It's just the hair comes Oh, yeah hairs come out really and then and they do this they kind of like worm out like this really like immediately Yeah, it's so good. And it's it's magnified. You guys have to watch the best thing. I don't know. Okay. Okay You like watching shit like that like like boils being popped doctor pimple popper. Yeah, you know Like I like I'll like watch a lot of people like dead You know, it's so fun, I do have a morbid curiosity

I do I do too. Yeah, and it's like I can watch stuff like that. I Maybe I have PTSD from it, but I don't know why but it's like I can see Watch a video of somebody blowing his head off. Yeah, but you could we already talked about this the drawback of that is Potentially giving yourself PTSD without knowing it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, but I but if you watch it It depends how you watch it. Well, I don't jerk off to it. I'm just saying like try it But it's fascinating to see a human life that is present and all of a sudden boom It's gone and to watch that happen. Yeah in front of your eyes. I mean, there's something crazy like that Um, was it Bud Dwyer? Yeah, when that happened back in the day

That was fucking nuts. Oh By the way, that was dead on yeah, great Watching that that fucked me up years ago. Yeah, that was gnarly That was crazy because it was in front of people blood sort of Shing out of his nose. That was not there used to be a gore got calm You know me and you I could see like a tie guy got hit by a truck Right, and you just watch photos or whatever, right? Yeah, and I don't know what that is about myself But I showed I told you about we I think we talked about with Jordan Peele. Oh, yeah

I showed Jordan Peele one time a Russian guy get his head chopped off. Oh, he didn't talk to me for a year Really? Yeah, it fucked him up. It was like he didn't ask for it Right, you know, yeah, check this out. He thought he was gonna show like, you know, I mean a baby farting or something And then it was like that Why the fuck did you show me that? You know, it really fucked him up. I know some people don't like it I know I know so well, obviously he didn't like a year. That's pretty gnarly That time he wrote get out So I also want to talk about um

Your upbringing, I don't know people ask you all the fucking time about it But your mom is I don't hate to say it but your mom's Goldie Hawn Your sister's Kate Hudson Um, you know stepdad. It is snake eyes from um Yes, right snake bliskin snake eyes was a movie My bad From escape from New York. That's right. Yeah But your dad you're I mean

Kurt Russell's your dad. He raised me. He raised you. Yeah, my real dad's Bill Hudson. He left My parents divorced when I was like five or six It was good for a few years and then it all went to hell and you know, he sort of disappeared Disappeared in Malibu. I mean we I literally lived 15 minutes from him But it just didn't work out and you never saw him. No, no, there was a certain there was from a certain period I didn't see him like, you know, I think 12 or 13 and then I ran into him in my 20s a couple of times Wow That's weird. Yeah. Yeah, it was is he still around or no? Yeah, I was just actually texted I texted with him yesterday Yeah, because well what happened was I on my Instagram account on

Father's Day two years ago I posted a picture of my sister and myself and my dad when we were young and I wrote happy abandonment day And it was a joke, I mean it was a dark joke Yeah, and by the way, you know I've been in therapy and shit trying to deal with all this because it doesn't affect you in your day-to-day life But when you get into relationships or when you get into your career and you start to grow up and you figure out these Insecurities that you have and you want to root them somewhere figure out where they're coming from everything stemmed back to that You know, yeah, and it was a joke, but it blew up like it got national news and it blew up went viral

Oh, wow, you know and People were writing about it and then I read this article that my dad He went to the Daily Mail and basically said he's dead to me and all this shit. Wow, right so then it just happened that you know, I got his phone number through my half sister I texted him a long text and He finally texted me back and then we got on the phone for three hours and I just grilled him and then we met About a year ago for about three hours and talked and it was good and then we sort of text now and then oh So it's kind of mended. Yeah, you know the first thing I said to him when I sat down with him

I said look, you know, it was all small talk and I was the one who said, okay Let's let's get down to what we're here for you know Let's talk about this shit and I said look let's take let's take us Let's take the fact away that that you know, you're my father and I am your son We can relate here. We are kindred spirits. I guess so to speak your dad bailed on you when you were five years old Okay, my dad did too. Let's pretend that you're not mine. We have a lot in common You I was fortunate enough to have the tools to sort of help myself I wanted to help myself my mom made me help myself. He didn't have that so he was destined to repeat this again

Wow, and so I said we're we're the same here and I have so much compassion for him and love for him but Compassion because you know, he was fucked up. It's a sad. It was a sad sad thing that he had to go through Yeah, you know and so that's the way the conversation started and it went it went really well and wow You know, we're texting we haven't seen each other much, but I'm gonna we'll try did your sister have the same voyage as you or no Is it different? No, it's different. Yeah, it's different, you know Being his first son, you know, Kate being a celebrity did not help things. Yeah, you know and It's different Kate has not reached out to him. Right. You know, and if she might or she might not

Yeah, you know, I she knows everything that I have spoken with him about yeah, you know And he sends his love and he texts me on her birthdays now and they said, you know send my love to Kate and all this So, yeah, but the thing about you though is is what I notice and is is that you know, I met your wife Nice nice nice lady, but I know I've met your I've worked with your kids your kids Your kids are so cool and I was able to want you interact with them. Mm-hmm like you're a good dad No, you can't do that, you know, I mean like you're doing bad shit. Yeah Like you know what I mean like white America dad GW yeah, yeah, like real good shit right here, man

Like, can we you know, can we go with you and then you kiss them? Oh, yeah, yeah, and you're just loving And then downstairs used to see his truck. There's like little motorbikes In his truck. Oh, yeah, me and the kids went to the Sahara. Where's the Sahara? Because your son's birthday, you know, so you're and then this and then here's another thing I just picked up because I'm you know, you know, I'm an absorbent trauma and I'm open, you know Outside he was talking to his wife and he goes no, I'll take the kids to school. Yeah in the morning I do every morning every morning take the kids every morning. I mean, so you did break the chain. Did you not? Oh, yeah Yeah, but as a young kid, I knew I was going to I didn't want to

repeat that God how How like, you know, I mean smart and open and you have to be to even as a kid to even know that in your mind But my mom got shit out of me like I remember when I was about 15 years old, you know You know puberty and you're going through stuff and girls and whatever life is sort of coming at you a thousand miles an hour And I was in my head or I wasn't things weren't going well for me Just on an emotional level and I didn't even recognize it or realize my mom pulls me into a room and she goes You know, what is wrong? What is wrong? Like nothing nothing? What is wrong? She would not let me go Is it your dad and this and that and I literally she like broke me down to the point where I started crying and I said

So she was very instrumental in sort of helping me along with all that shit But it's it's over because what your mom but it still exists today though, by the way Well, you know, you go back to the acting stuff, you know, there's I have a lot There's a lack of self-worth for me lack of self-love that I have for myself I mean, there's still shit that I deal with so because gay because as a good-looking white dude I'm pointing to you. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's in the room It's so weird because I think I've told this I go you're a lot like me. Hmm. I see it. It's so weird. I never see a good-looking white dude. There are not good-looking, but you're not come on

Look at me. You too. You too. He's got a thick dick though. It doesn't matter. I mean, how do we know? Come on. Come on guys. Come on guys. Anyway, um, Spam. What? It's because I guess cat a tuna can't yeah Yeah, but like so in many ways, you know and and and um That's why I like you so much because you do have these kind of like stand you have stand-up comedy Like you are fucking saying me you're like, you're gonna do three minutes. You're gonna do five minutes But I'm like, you'll make you wait. Oh my god. I'd shit myself. You would be able to do Oh god, no, but I don't know what to do. Have you thought about it though? No, you've never even know what I've

Know it terrifies me. Yeah terrifies me. That's like the ultimate vulnerability Yeah, now when you drive around town, you see the billboard of you on it Yeah, you know, do you what do you think to yourself? Is it do you can you detach yourself from it? But that's you on the couch. No, I know but you can't go. That's me part of Um, no, I do I do like that's me. Look I fucking by the way behind the couch Can just put me and Lindsay we will I'll tell you why Can I tell you why? Diane to Diane underneath the couch or whatever

Like this One eye, but I'll tell you why I don't give a fuck about like the show. That's great. I'm glad I'm on it Well, you know, great people, you know, Alan the generous old thing, you know It's the the reason why I always want to be on a show is to be on the billboard so I can get revenge On the people that right just to show people go. Hey Hey, I'm killing it. Dude. How much is it to buy a billboard? If you did your own and it's just Like three billboards in ebbing

But I don't put the ABC on all that stuff on it. Can you sure you own it? Oh, if I called ABC and go Yeah, I'm thinking about putting it right and they're like, well, what is it gonna be just me wait? We should do a go fund now go fund me like a Indiegogo. I'm not doing it. You know, that's desperate. No, I here's why I Warner Brothers and ABC to sanction a poster one day Maybe your two year three if it continues just put me and Lindsay in it. That's all so I can get my revenge on I can tell you the names. I want revenge Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, I do have a short list of just people go. Hey, you know, I'm still in it. What's up? Yeah

Here's what I want and I know I let me tell you something. I know I know you're on cahoots with the top Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. No, look at me right now. Okay fucking beauty fucking why not? Okay, you're in cahoots with the top I know that you get emails from the president of Warner Brothers Peter Robb. Well, he has emailed me Get you have okay. Have you emailed back and forth? Yes. Well, then there's the fucking connection, okay? Or there's the freeway the open. Okay. What do you know? I don't need anything. I'm just telling you I don't want anything. All right, but I don't want anything. All right, but what I do just I want to suggest something to you Okay, is it's a Warner Brothers show, correct? Correct. So if the show continues, right? They're eventually gonna be on the side of the Warner Brothers. Yes, right? Yes

Now what I notice is in Mike and Molly. Yeah, when they did that poster, right? They showed nine people on it Okay, like the whole cast, right? It's just you know, just you know, just think about just listen just think about I just need to be on that, right? There's a good chance that could happen though. I know, but I don't want to ask Because that's weird. Let me throw it out throw it out there And the reason why is because that road What's that? Barham Barham all the way around. Yeah. Yeah. So many comedians because that's all the flappers There's the flapper, right? So a lot of comedians will go around that band and it's gonna strike so much pain

In a lot of people if they could just see my face there and also you get stuck in traffic It's the only way to get a one-on-one. You can't help but keep looking at it. And I'm just like, you know, I mean Like hey, you know what I mean? Revenge. Revenge. That could happen though Because I think when they do those billboards, it's not just the one sheet. They create something Right, we'll we'll we'll see we'll see. Yeah, let's let's get past season one I understand. Yeah, but you know, you got to throw these things out there. No, you do All right. So going back to what you were saying though, what I look at myself on the billboard, right? Again growing up in the family that you just talked about. Yeah, we grew up in that whole world, right?

We grew up with everyone knowing who your family is. We grew up with seeing your parents everywhere So yes, it's it's of course. It's exciting, but it's not I don't know like I haven't even seen a billboard yet because they're all in the east. I live on I live in Brentwood So, oh, I'll show you what there's one right by Taco Bell on no, I know Well, Lindsay Lindsay today texted me one on sun. There's one on sunset too. Yeah, the huge one on sunset. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I take photos of them. You do see I gotta go see it. Yeah. Yeah. I take photos of them Are there any are there any buses? I've never seen a bus. No buses, but I'm gonna ask you how are people even gonna know to watch it

I don't know I mean abc, but by the way abc's been promoting the shit out of Oscar. Oh, no, I know the Oscars. Yeah Yeah, it's all over abc to those another or like tired. They're like, oh if I see another one of these like just splitting up I know hey a lot of the Oscars that helped me out a lot. Oh, yeah Because they put they put oh, yeah, they put me in that trailer. Oh, yeah That was a long one. It was a long one, right? And when I went to the comedy store the next time was it I had so many were little revenge shots Oh, yeah

Really? Yeah people that I'm gonna I'm not gonna name names Yeah, but there's a couple of people that don't talk to me normally. Why? Because they're above it Why don't they talk? You mean they're bigger than yeah, they're bigger than me. Okay, right? They're busy, right, right? Not that they're mean. Do you try to talk to them? Well, I mean, what do you make an effort? Yes, I do what I do is do I lock eyes And then sometimes they do this they when you lock eyes, they just kind of look away, right? That's my sign to go Oh

Maybe they're nervous about seeing you know Because ever since then The lock eyes and then they smile and they walk toward me That's happening now. Yes Really and they're like so mad saw that thing And you kind of go. Hey, no, I know it's fake. It's so sick It's sick and fake and disgusting. Yeah, but still it feels good. Of course it does Of course it feels it's a little bit of a revenge

Dude, we we we should we should feel good. We should feel proud. We should feel it's fun to be recognized It's fun for people to sort of admire or hate you at the same time because you're successful. Yeah. Yeah, you know I mean, that's a good feeling. That's pride. Yeah, but nobody hates you. I've looked on internet. I guess nothing He's trying to find it Nobody hates you. I just stay low-key, man. I don't know. I don't is that what otg means off the grid Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're you're a very weird guy in that way like you you lived in colorado. Yeah Colorado we grew up there. We grew up about three years there. I went to school there I took the kids last year to colorado for a year and a half. Then we did this

You grew up there too. Yeah in high school elementary school Wow with what um, was Kurt Kurt took us there. Kurt had a place there and he took our family there for the first time It's so funny because we had on our podcast Sosie Bacon Kevin Bacon's daughter. Yeah, she was a month ago and we had her and In many ways her parents because have you told me about how Your parents raised you. Mm-hmm. Her parents were the same kind of way, you know, like a lot of kids that grew up You know with famous parents and whatnot. They turned fucked up. Mm-hmm. Yeah

We have their drug addict or they have tattoos on their face something weird happens, right? But but this guy's like so like rounded and they never gave you anything, right, right? And they pay attention to you a lot of these a lot of you know They just it's about just being present paying attention to you raising your children As if you know how you were raised and my parents came from nothing and so they we had a lot Oh, that's why you told me that they both, right? Grew up with nothing. Oh, yeah My mom moved to new york when she was 19. She had a dance studio, you know

She taught little girls how to dance do ballet. She was she wasn't even planning on being an actress She wanted to dance and do musicals and that was all she wanted to do and then she was discovered at the world's fair And in new york and sort of the rest is history. She did she did laugh in And that bubbly crazy was like so like a ball in that life. Yeah. Yeah She left laughing to do a movie called sugarland express. No, sorry cactus flower cactus flower first movie And she won an academy award and it was a dramatic movie Wow And so that was that was it, you know, that's it. That's it. Then private benjamin all that stuff

And that's that's that's the end of it. That's amazing. But yeah, so we had a lot christmas for great We went on great vacations. There's no doubt about it. You know, I'm not yeah But inside the house inside the walls of our home It was it was not any different, you know, I mean as far as raising a child goes, right? We were not given everything. We were not given hundreds of dollars for allowance if we even had allowance You know, we got I got spanked and my mom my mom spanked me Many times, you know, yeah, and it was for the it was for the little things. It was interesting because I got arrested when I was 15 years old for paintballing. Okay. It was halloween

Yeah, yeah halloween halloween. I we went and shot up these people and it was horrible, you know, but it was fun And we got arrested we got hauled off into jail And it's actually a funny story because we're all sitting in the waiting room there and I said, okay We're gonna call your parents and they picked me say, okay. What's your dad's name? And I'm like, oh I was like, can you start with somebody else? Like, no, what's your father's name? Yeah, you know, I'm like Kurt Russell And they're like, shut the fuck up What's your and I'm like my dad's name is Kurt Russell. Like you're really I said, yes

So that means your mother's goalie hon. I said, yes This is a fact. Yeah, and they start fighting over who's gonna make the phone call One dude was like one dude was like I arrested him and the other guy was like he wrote in my car I mean, it was like they actually had they actually had a bit of a fight. I'm who was gonna call my dad Yeah, so Kurt comes into the thing. He he shows up. Oh my god. Oh dude live it. It was no good. Was he living? He was Teeth were clenched his face was red Oh my god

And they gave us back our paintball guns because we were allowed to have them But it was like they're not his guns and I'm like they're not my guns and the cops are like you can take them We don't want them. Kurt's like, they're not your guns. I'm like, they're not my guns. I I didn't know how to Yeah, he had some plan Anyway, my punishment was he didn't scream at me My punishment was I had to shoot up my car because I just got a new my first car and I I had to shoot up my car like close range with my paintball gun and dent Oh

It's awesome. So my point is yeah is that he doesn't get mad for those things because he gives me the benefit of the doubt That I know what I did wrong. There's no reason to say, you know, what the fuck because you get it You're smart enough to know that you're an asshole in this situation. Right the next day We were going to school. My sister had her backpack that I had used to put on my paintball shit in She comes to me and she goes Ollie. Give me my backpack unload it and I'm like, I'll do it later or whatever She goes and tells on me. My dad comes or Kurt comes over. He goes, Ollie Backpack take the shit out. Give it back to Kate. I'm like, I'll do it later. Cocky Asshole. Whoa, what's wrong with you? After getting arrested, right? Yeah, he lost his shit

Rightfully so. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah That the and so those are the times when I got in trouble when I got yelled at and screamed at and all that Yeah, when I the little things that I didn't recognize and those are the things that if they go left unchecked That's when you become an asshole in your 20s and 30s or whatever Right because you feel like entitled and you can do anything the fuck you want Yeah, but they made sure that we knew that when we were assholes We were we we knew about it all of us all the kids Did they when they you said I want to become an actor was I mean

Yeah, I didn't want to be an actor. I didn't start acting till I was 20 21. I wanted to make movies. That's what I did I directed movies with my friends and Kate was acting doing her plays and I would make movies on the weekends Oh, wow. Yeah, and then acting I went to college for two years. I went to boulder Done with that p8 for two years and then I said my whole family does it. I'll try it Yeah, I wanted to act in class, but I was I was horrible man. I was hungover going to auditions not reading the sides and Yeah, still living at home. You know, I had no reason to Fucking make anything of myself. So I decided to move out of my house with not a lot of money I got an apartment that was way in over my head. I get a fourth three months of rent. That's it

I wanted to put the pressure on myself say, okay. I'm getting out of the house now You know look to be fair my parents weren't gonna let me fucking live on the street I knew I had my house, you know, so I'm not I'm not coming in here sounding like an asshole I knew what was happening. But for me personally, I wanted to do that and it worked I got I got my first show on the wb called my guy to becoming rock star I was the lead of the show and you know, that was wow. Yeah, so it's amazing. Yeah, that's my little story in a nutshell What but there's more to you man. Mm-hmm. You people don't know when you were younger you liked hip hop a lot

Oh, yeah, dude. I'm a very rebellious a little bit. You're in a dance crew the rice krispies You were in the rice krispies. Snapcrackling pop. Wow. There were three of us. Are you being real? This is real. Oh my god. Three white guys. Three white dudes. Three white Jews My mom's Jewish, my dad's not, but my two other friends were like they're like, they look Jewish You know, so I was like these three Jews In clothes that were 70 sizes too big for them going to the underage clubs that were around that I don't know if they still are now Yeah, and we would go battle dance crews in the 80s 90s 90s. Yeah, wow Yeah, we're like size 40 Jerbo's and like would you're both?

Wow I mean, we were wearing all kinds of like just huge hooded sweatshirts. I was completely insane. Yeah Would you win? I uh, no No, we try Yeah, but we had we before we went out we'd come to my house and we'd have like dance practice and shit We'd put on like tribe or something or all right, right They're like, all right, that was good. Let's let's work on some floor work

Really? Yes the sixth step. Yeah. Yeah And then for hours you would do that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. How sad. Oh, dude And there was this this black dude named was logic And he was a dj and he was this cool guy and he we're like, let's let's go to logic house because logic was like helping us I mean It's insane. Really? It was insane. Yeah, wow And how long did that go on for a couple years and years? I said, yeah, you know We used to smoke a ton of weed and it's freestyle and yeah, you know

But when you but when you would go on vacation, you like to drink at yeah, yeah Yeah, I mean, I'm not a big fan. I know I smoke a lot of pot But still now. Yeah What It's not no no, do you do the medical thing or do you go to Well, I lived in colorado for a year and a half. So it's recreational, you know, I never had a card I never had like a medical card, but I I I didn't smoke pot for a long time And in the last two or three years, I just love it. I mean, it's I'd rather have like a half a joint

I then have three or four whiskies or whatever, you know, you know, you put the kids to bed and you know smoke a little bit and Chill watch tv get creative. You know, I just it's a great. Yeah a great escape You're you're just you know, I'll be honest with you man. You you're just really just a surprise why Because um, when I got the show I googled you You know, I mean I watch stuff, you know, I mean google just to see You know and then meeting you

Uh, we had dinner that one night, right? And you just you just unlike what I thought you were going to be like That's nice in a great way You know because you see, you know, you see a lot of these guys that are um You know, you're a leading man, you know, whatever you've done things before, you know, I mean and whatnot people know who you are And you sometimes they just you people become cocksuckers or you know, I mean and you're just like you don't seem like You're an actor really. No, I'm being real. I'm just me being Sentimental and and trying to give compliments. I have I'm not gonna compliment. You know what I mean? I'm not gonna taking it

You're right because like even though like a lot of people that you've met they're perfectly nice people But you still get that thin layer of hollywood slime. Yeah that you kind of you know what I mean? It's it's there Yeah, I mean chris delia for instance, which people say say they you look like them. Yeah Have you heard that? I've heard that I agree. I don't I think it's a long hairs. I have no idea. I don't know. Yeah. What is that? Anyway, but anyway delia is also a very nice guy very funny, you know, you know, but there is this There's a cockiness, you know, I mean and a little bit of like that is that's a stick I know it's stick, right? Yeah, but there's something there that's a little wild

You know, I mean, he's got he's he lets it run wild You know his ego, right? Which is I'm fine with that. I think he's a He's a great guy, right? But you don't have that either though. Well, I think that's probably you don't have like look at my fucking truck or Right, I'm not saying and I don't know I don't know chris great guy. I'm in a couple very funny And I'm not saying he's an insecure person Yeah, he's not insecure. No. No, but what I'm saying is like I feel pretty secure and who I am and you're more secure Then

You're way more secure than crystal. I don't know and I love I just like I love I love people You know what I mean like people I love people people are fucking interesting. Yeah, and I hate I'm a very detail oriented person So I don't want to have a a bullshit conversation with anyone So I'll ask questions that aren't normally asked when I'm conversing with somebody because what's the point of having Bullshit small talk like we are all we are about our details. That's who we are Yeah, you know what I mean? So if I'm gonna have a conversation with someone let's talk about our details So we actually go somewhere and have an interesting dialogue rather than bullshit, you know

Yeah, and I have to be open to have that as does the person That's really refreshing though because a lot of people or at least in la they really like to live on the surface of things It's like let's get to know you what I can get out of you and we'll leave it at that So like the the the details are never ever exchanged. No, I know I know and that's what that's what that's all it is I mean, that's what the fuck is the point of me wasting my breath If I know if I walk away from here right from this conversation knowing nothing else But your name and your profession right or what I could possibly get out of this interaction, right? It's bullshit. Yeah, like I asked people what they make. How much money you make?

What? I don't care. It's how much money you make. Yeah, well, that's not really appropriate Okay I'm not I don't ever want to know. I don't honestly I'm throwing this out there right now. If you can take a guess, what do you think you would guess? Well, I can only base on what I'm making. Okay. Well, yeah, and then like triple it I won't tell you but but just I want to just I'm gonna what do you what do you think? You get an episode. What is your perception? Right? What do you think I make an episode? Yeah, yeah

A hundred grand. No Okay, that's all I want to know Is it more or less? Can you say that? It's less. Okay. Well, that's it. That's it. Yeah, he makes 99 grand 99 thousand dollars a week guys Well, that's where that's really uh really because in my you know, I so because being a being You know, it's fine. I'm just happy to be working I'm never gonna ask for more. I like what I make. Okay. It's great money But what it what you know, you know a lot of ethnic people go well the white man

You know makes this much more right but being the lead and this net you in your head But you know what at the end of the day, I don't give a fuck because I'm just grateful that I really am grateful to have that job. You know, we all it's a great job You know, it's a tough and anyone listening right now. I am I make 20 000 dollars a week All right, and that's a lot of money for me and I give half a to charity Which one which charity the one with the spinal spinal. Oh, that's the good Not the spinal If you have a spine anyone that has a spine deficiency, right, I give money to

Just spinal Cross the board like nine Puerto Rican kids have nine metal new spines because of me What you didn't know that about me plays like titanium. Yeah, yeah, no, I use adamantium steel They're good shit. That's a great charity Is there anything that you want to plug the show Oh, man, what this show you're fucking did it. No, that's it. I I there's no while you're not in a movie coming out or I did a movie. It's not coming out But I did a movie for netflix with my dad

Which was fun But I didn't get to work with him because he played santa claus and I played them Wait, wait, you did a movie with um kurt kurt Russell and it's not out yet Christmas in christmas. That's out. Yeah, he plays santa claus. Yeah, and it's phenomenal and what he's incredible. He looks He's it's unreal and it's not a coca-cola santa claus. He's like Just kind of scary, you know what I mean, right? But it's it's a kid's movie, but it's it's good

He's got to be happy about his resurgence. Yeah, he's crushing me. He's killing it right now. He's crushing. He did that tarantino movie Yep, he's in the um that whole marvel universe. Yeah, he's a guardian two guardians. He did two fast nefureas Yeah, two fast nefureas. Yeah, he is just absolutely killing it. Yeah, it's amazing Isn't it how you can just have some resurgence in your 60s? Yeah, but what let me ask you that I want to know what happened so In his 50s. He wasn't working a lot He was working, but it wasn't like it is now. He was doing some smaller movies and it was if don't know when someone like of that Stature, yeah gets smaller movies. Do they get depressed?

No, no, he's Kurt's an interesting guy and he's so far from Hollywood. He's not I mean, he's the antithesis of Hollywood Yeah, which by the way, I think that is probably, you know, why the kids are we are sort of who we are We we grew up in Hollywood, but far away from it. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah And because he especially was not He didn't want to be a part of the Hollywood scene, right, you know, he never had a publicist He's never done the covers of magazines ever. He did like cigar aficionado or some shit, like one, you know, like one That's huge. Right. Like he did like that is true. He can the cigar aficionado

But even if yeah, so even if they asked him like you want to try to get this cover He probably like no, no, that's not his thing. He doesn't know. No, no, no So yeah, he was just sort of he was doing some cool smaller movies and this this and that and then I don't know man All of a sudden it happened. I I there's no rhyme or reason. Well, I'll tell you what it is. It's you stay on the rain Yeah, you keep doing it. Some years are going to be great. Some years are not going to be great You know, and that's the message of this podcast It's like stay out in the rain. You're going to get struck by lightning eventually, right?

And I learned that from the jone rivers documentary, but then you die If you get struck by it It's a cool death. It's a metaphor. I also want to add to say it's promote your your brother's killing it Yeah, he's doing amazing. Why Wyatt Russell? Yeah, he's because he was in that great black mirror black mirror. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, so why it's why it's He's like my he's my one of my best friends I mean we're 10 years apart, but he's just the greatest kid and he played a professional hockey for a long time He went to Germany and Holland and played pro there

And that was his life hockey He got a growing injury and then came back home and said I'll be an actor And then immediately started crushing and everyone was like, what the fuck? Yeah, yeah, I was like, yeah fucking bullshit, dude Like you just come right out of the gates and boom. Well, he's kind of come. I mean, we don't we you know But he's coming on something big soon, right? Uh, he did he did a movie that JJ. Yeah, that's right. That's the one. Yeah He did that and now he did the show for amc that he finished shooting that will come out in august

Wow Yeah, well, you're crushing it too, dude. Well, sometimes No, you're this is your this is it like this feels good. It's great. Yeah, this feels good Everyone listening tiger belly fans and we have we have a very big I know doesn't seem like it. What's your reach here? What do you what do you got? We have we we're small but mighty right? They're all very very loyal and there isn't going to be one person who listens to this that won't be tuned in on tuesday Really good. That's how great our fans are downloads on a couple million a month. That's great. Yeah collectively. Yeah

That's awesome. We know we have a very good. Um They're good people you make a money on this show. Yeah, we make money too. Yeah, we make a you get sponsors. No Yeah, we have sponsors. Yeah, why? I don't know doesn't look like this is money We get you a flashlight Fuck you Um at the end of our podcast, we do a thing called um Unhelpful advice. It's an email. You can answer it however you want to okay

It's supposed to be unhelpful, but you can be helpful. Okay. It's fine. Go ahead Unhelpful advice with barbie kalilah at mr. Show business Uh, hi, i'm a 20 year old Icelandic male living in sweden I met a girl after I've lived there for a few months and we hit it off And now we've been in a relationship for over a year Even though everything is going great and we can make each other laugh and have a good time I seem to be losing interest in the relationship. I've been uh, I'm beginning to look at her flaws Like we have different stance on wanting children where to live and not being able to have animals because of her allergies

But when we are together we have fun. I'm having trouble wrapping my head around this with love your input I mean, it's like what you can live with and what you can't you know, it's like if If I hated animals She wouldn't be with me. There's no way. There's no way or it's not her fault. She's allergic, right? But if you were allergic to animals, I would really take that into consideration. That'd be huge consideration Yeah, my whole life is I feel Whole now now don't get me wrong Before I met kalilah. I've never had really had an animal. I mean, I lived with a couple of cats one of my early 20s

I don't know their names right because it was my roommates, you know, but if they died it would have been like But but let's say you were allergic to cats and dogs. I would find maybe some way like get a chameleon instead or something or like Fucking, you know something that would just fill that gap Right, you know or adopt a tortoise or you know, but I think the real question which is not addressed in that Is that what's the sex like? because If it's bad Yeah, if it's or if it's not good if it's not connected if it's not

Not what it should be. Yeah, then you basically are living with a friend. You know what I mean? Yeah sex to me is an Extremely important component of a relationship. Of course you need everything else, you know, just striking a chord with us, right? We're going through a drought right now We're going through a drought right now If you don't have good sex and sex gets, you know, monotonous and stale And you don't want to be with that person anymore and you can't consummate and you can't connect that way Especially for a man because that's I think that's how men connect not saying that women don't connect sexually But men women need to feel emotionally connected to have sex and men need to have sex to feel emotionally connected

That's what I think because when we go through our droughts and by the way, my wife and I've been together for 17 years married for 12 in june And our sex has never been better. It's fucking weird. I don't get it. I don't understand But it's just but you have gone through droughts. Of course everyone goes through droughts, you know, and I get all nuts You know, yeah, yeah, I don't want to like I don't want to like try because I don't want to be like rejected And then I'll resent you know, so then but then you just got to you know, you just got to go for it But if that doesn't if that's not firing

You know, you don't you don't have much Wow, I think Yeah, because otherwise you and I could live together. No and have a great relationship. No, we could no, we couldn't I could make you feel great Let me just say this. I hear you. Oh my god. I can make you feel great. We could hang out I'm a pretty good fucking you and I all right. We're gonna see each other at work Okay, we're gonna have our random meals I mean with the cast and whatnot Mm-hmm for birthdays holidays, we'll do a text with a Santa Claus like emoji or whatever

And then um, you know, and then when we write our books 50 years from now Yeah, there'll be a couple of chapter paragraphs. Yeah, so yeah, that's good. That's it. That's good enough That's good enough. You live with you You know because that's good. You know what? Let me say this. Well, all right It's reality It's reality, you know, I mean you do these things and everyone's like, you know, everyone becomes a family quickly and then You know, well, let's keep in touch never Here's another thing I want to say that to say about that is is that

I just want to say this say don't be afraid When I was on the last sitcom I was on animal practice, it was with Justin Kerr, Tyler Labien I liked all I like them too And we did lose contact You know, I would have dinner with just, you know, just you just right so

Literally, I'm being real If in in case We lose contact, right? And you know she'll get the spans and whatnot I I honestly believe and I want to say this right now. It was a pleasure working with you I'm telling you right. I'm being real. I want to see this I You know, you literally I'm being real

It really you fucking help me out so much dude in my I had some meltdowns That that the producers didn't really know do they don't know right now. Yeah, it's only to you. Yeah, the producers are like, oh We got it. Let's move on. Whatever right But with you, I just want to say thank you so much I couldn't I couldn't have Asked for a better number one in the call sheet number two number two number two. All right. Yeah You're great too. Yeah My seams are always with all of her pretty much. Yeah, so um, well, thank you. I want to thank you. It was a pleasure working with you

Hopefully so Everyone listening if you want Oliver and I to have a friendship. You gotta keep watching the show That's right. Our friendship is about to die Right without your fucking viewership and I know we're watching um, whatever on netflix. We don't have time Just fucking watch it you pieces of shit. Yeah The kind of entertainment that we give you here on tiger belly For free. It's free, right? Yeah, do we charge people for this thing? I think it's zero dollars zero dollars Okay, and the guy listening from iceland. Yeah, you gotta get the sex laugh up

Oh, was he it was it was he this is a where do we pull this from? This is from an email. Oh, it is. Yeah, the email us people because we Yeah, I mean people like we've helped all of this many people That's a lot. Well, nine people. It's fine. People. It's fine. A lot of spines. I didn't catch him spines. Well, dude, just text me when I when I text you and maybe we can I fucking text you and also on top of it. Also really wants to do a podcast with you. Yeah Would you do her podcast? Sure Does she have a podcast? Yeah, she's an amazing podcast. She's a queen of podcasting. Yeah, let me listen

I I don't know. I I'm not in the podcast world. I don't know. I don't know. There is no podcast world It's like I want to do a podcast I think you would be great. I would crush a fucking pod And it's also easy to do. I know I want to do one with my sister too. Oh my god. It would have been amazing He guess what beat up Right, it would be top fucking 40, right? No top I love this shit though. I love just Talking and bullshitting about that. It's fun. It is it's fun. And let me and I'm gonna say this that

it really like like I was just in El Paso and 90 percent Of the crowd are tiger belly fans. They wear the shirts. I also do think that podcasting I think that information is disseminated that way now. I think that it's a newer form of media I think that people find it more relatable. It's more casual. It's more chill And when people I guess come on this podcast people feel like, okay, I know them better versus seeing you on other Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, we've had great. Well, I mean you we've had van der beek. Yeah Yeah, you see all the handsome

I wanted to make him feel comfortable that, you know, the lia's done it. We've had other good gw's on here. Yeah We've had blacks jordan peels Ian Edwards or is that black? How many blacks do we have? A lot? Five? A lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, who's your who's the biggest star you've had on here? Jordan jordan peels stone street Eric stone street. That's cool. How was he? He's funny. Great. He's good, dude I love him. Yeah, but you know, these are people that I have a relationship. Yeah. I can't I don't yeah Well, have you ever had anyone who you don't know and it's weird? No I don't think that we would ever have somebody that he wasn't. Yeah, at least, you know, I'm familiar with yeah

Yeah, I mean, I don't feel right right. You're coming into our home. So it's yeah feel weird. Yeah This is my house and also on top of it. It has to be um I have to feel comfortable about it because if I don't we've had youtube stars Mm-hmm that we that are kind of you know family. Yeah, we they're family They're family, but I don't know them that well. We're at that google a little bit You got to do a little research a little research, but you know, I'm still they still Are excited to be here because I I'm above them. Yeah, but if if it's anyone that's above me And I don't know them I wouldn't be able to do it right because then I don't know where I can go

No, yeah, you know me. I need the power. Yeah, would you let Barack Obama walk? I was just gonna say that Well, you mean you may not that he would do it, but mark maron. He did mark marons right in wtf and um Of course, I would have to but I would let trump come. I know you wouldn't Maybe on your fucking mind But just to do the pot trump says to you one podcast. Yeah, we'll take trump says bobby I want to come do your podcast. You would say no No, what a what a fucking yeah, I think we would have to say yes. That would be crazy. I'm crazy not Probably hijack it and railroad everything you say, but it would still be fun

But bobby would hijack him. Yeah, I think that'd be fun If his presidential persona doesn't come out like I want him to be the slum lord trump like the old school howard stern trump Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, because what would happen though is is that like his pr people would come in here or forever Yeah, and go these are the things you can't talk about Sarah huckabee just standing in the corner That would be a good get you should get Sarah huckabee Not that googly eyed fucking bastard I mean like I just because

I just I mean I mean, I was just in el paso and I don't name names But I ran into a couple of guys They're a huge trump You know And I bit my tongue. You know, they say some fun crazy shit. You bat your tongue But at the At the end of the day, there is a division

There is a difference between me and them And they they I may never be able to like find A bridge the bridge you know It's so divided to me that I can't we don't even talk about on this podcast because yeah, it's so volatile. Oh, yeah Yeah, you know people go crazy. Yeah, well, I don't talk. It's like in my instagram stuff I'd never talk right, but I know how you feel Well, you told me I'm not I'm not I'm independent. You know what I mean? I know you feel you told me I don't know how much you make

99,000 a week Um, give um, oliver hudson run over plus. He was fucking amazing. You're amazing. Thank you guys You add information so much fun. You took improv class. You added information. There were no dead space I try not to I don't feel did you feel good? Fucking great. I love this. We got a good time on that too. What was it? Almost like nodding hills. Oh an hour 30 almost. No, it's a rom-com. Yes. You got rom-com I'm telling you I'm that's you know why it's a miracle that didn't feel like an hour and a half You know what was a miracle because at 50 minutes, I always go

What do we at time? You didn't ask and I never asked that's why he was gonna keep going Yeah, no, but no with you. It was just like natural and that's how we know Right, it's fun. You know what I mean friends for life friends for life. Let the show gets canceled Give oliver a round of applause everybody. Thank you guys. Love you Bobby Uh, yes, bobby will be at the Addison improv this weekend. That's right Friday saturday sunday you go to bobby Oh, yeah, I always want to say this. I want to say this. Oh, and he's gonna be in denver april Then I'll be in denver and I had to cancel and move Arlington Okay, and anyone bought that bought a ticket for Arlington. I know it was my second time

But I had an emergency But I am gonna play Arlington, right? a real emergency Yeah, we just get called out Well, can I tell you what it is then? Yeah. Oh, yeah You contract. Are you not out of league? Yeah. Yeah. Somebody died. Wait. It's cool. Somebody died Somebody's somebody's gonna die. You just squeezed his cool stuff thing. She grabbed your ballad I know so you must have done cool sculpting in that

An emergency people are dying Spines, spines are breaking. Spines are breaking. Okay. So that's that but I apologize, but I am going to be in Addison improv this weekend. So come check me out. I don't have any new jokes, but you'll be fine It'll be fine. It'll be fine. It'll be fine. It's a power through just come in and say hi I have no new jokes All right, guys, we'll be right back with some house clean And we are back Oliver Hudson

He was awesome. Yeah, he's dope. That was a seamless podcast All you other future guests learn Yeah, for reference Listen to this particular episode And raise your children like him come in with a paintball story. Yeah come in with a paintball story Also come in with having parents that are Kurt Russell And If you can't if not, we won't hold it against you. We'll take you

Um, yeah, uh, any thing we need to announce storage, uh, any iTunes reviews or anything? Uh, just a reminder. We are on Spotify. So find us there Subscribe to us first before everybody else. Yeah. Um, and let's read a few, uh, iTunes reviews. Uh Let's see. Aaron Morales says I love Korean barbecue. Okay. Let's uh, thank you for that review Or maybe they are eating now Korean barbecue because of us j rock campy says live tiger belly and all its characters. Okay, we're Um, you know what he meant. I know. I know. Okay. He loves tiger belly. Thank you. J rock campy. Where's the one that I liked? I'm gonna look up some bad mother fucker says just the perfect kind of fuck notes podcast To listen to I'll hail the slept king. Anybody else want to read one?

Um, I want to read hold on keep Where's one that talks about my amazing skin? Oh there has amazing skin and my eyebrows read that Um, rick. Okay. Let's read a ricky kanalis This one's from ricky kanalis. This podcast is the most down-to-earth real and honest ever I look forward every wednesday and thursday to hear bobo kaloko gilbits and pd. He got in there. You got in there, george You all inspired me to create a podcast here in texas. Thank you ricky kanalis

Go listen to ricky kanalis's podcast guys. We should have called ricky up. We don't know We don't know but maybe his name is just there if you can just like plug it in Nice help out a fellow pod um I also want to say again. Thank you to everybody who rallied beside me During these weird few days when times in my life when the press cuts What? Oh god. It's the worst because I am a literal nobody

So it's weird to have that information out there About you and circulate and it is so damning and like awful, right? It's not like a Oh, uh, like let's say what's a rumor you can start about somebody Oh, the I don't know. Oh that person's a bitch. I guess that's similar to this one, but it's like But no, this is like a character assassination very specific. Yeah, it's a I love yeah And some like some of the the things that people were writing directly to me were like you're too ugly to be a gold digger and I was like Then I'm not a gold digger But my eyebrows though, you know what might be too ugly for a gold digger and tits are gone

Eyebrows still on point so you go fuck yourself It's all that matters. It's all that fucking matters. Don't you know my god Saudi Arabian gold digger you You know what in Saudi Arabia? I would fucking kill it is a gold digger. Just so you know Um, so yeah, I just wanted to thank um, I got like the nicest message today from pastor gill Ah warm warmed my heart. I freaking love that guy. Yeah, I have denounced organized religion probably 100 times on this podcast I have called myself an atheist We've bullshitted and talked shit about just religion in general And that's a guy who has so much love in his heart and so much openness to kind of see beyond that

See it as just oh, hey, that's comedy and still support us Whatever brand of Christianity he's selling I'm buying if there was ever a way to get me out of atheism It would be pastor gill and that's how you do it. You don't you don't oppose them. You welcome them Whatever they are you just take them in so shout out to pastor gill probably going to marry you guys Oh my god, George. Sorry. I know you're an ordained minister, but pastor gill might take the you know You said a Canadian there for a second. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, George. Sorry I'm still available for other people in the slept kingdom guys. That's uh, if you're a tiger belly couple

And you are getting married. Um, we are offering George's services for your wedding and also I just signed up for task rabbits. So if you need me to clean your bathroom Hold on one second. I'm getting something assembled by task rabbit on Friday. Can I just pay you instead? Surprise is actually me Really? No, I'm being serious. I could cancel it No, no, and then just like or like don't take away that person's living. Oh, okay. That's true. Okay. What are they? Is it Ikea furniture? Yeah, it's Ikea furniture, which I could do but I just don't have it's tedious. It's very tedious Yeah, dude, I always fuck up. Uh guys if you're listening to this it is probably Wednesday, which means

It's March day. It's March day. So you need to immediately go drop what you're doing go to the tiger belly.com And purchase some of our good stuff. And if you're watching this on youtube right now, uh, you can look at George with this fashionable tiger valley Fantasy is an illusion shirt. It's our bobby fantasy shirt. It's very colorful. It's very pretty looks great on the bod George is wearing an extra small He likes his nipples protruding out protruding He likes his little hips to be exposed

Sick jacket though, uh Shout out to Moko Yubi We also that shirt if you're looking on youtube, we have a black version of that We also have beanies if you were Follow tiger belly on instagram there on our story. It's those yellow yellow bobby beanies with the slept kingdom and we're also selling Here I have your jacket these bad boys. It's our hoodies With the bobby tiger belly glue ummer's glue. So buy those

Um any other announcements? I think that's it. Do you have any other announcements, dear boy? He wants to sell his dick juice for how much how much? You could produce a pint he can't even produce It's pre-cum You're just urine. No, it's like everything all the moisture that comes from it So bobby's selling his dick moisture in pints for a thousand urine Juice all of it. It's a combo juice. It's a tonic. It's anything. It's an elixir. Yeah, it's elixir for the gods

What kind of problems is it solves Rls restless like syndrome guys if you suffer from restless like syndrome put in your order for bobby's dick juice It is a garren glaucoma. Glucoma. It's different. Glucoma is different Also, glaucoma. Also, if you suffer from a variation of glaucoma called glaucoma We can also put in your order for bobby's dick juice Also any variation Okay, so if you have gingivitis outside of your body Outside of your gums. Um, let's say like your vaginal gums. Maybe

Yeah, yeah, you have back sometimes your back gingivitis. Yeah. Um, we can also provide you with bobby's dick juice So just put in your order those three things. Yeah Restless like syndrome It's elixir of the gods guys and please put in your order Uh, how much a grand a grand for a pints a lot though, that's like a five-year supply for all your ailments How big is a pint like uh, yeah, what's a pint of like what kind of like a milk? I have a question. Do we drink it or do we apply it to the skin directly? Oh, it goes it's intravenous the bobby's dick juice has to go directly

It's a caravan. We provide the dirty needles. Um, do we have a sublingual type? What? Yeah. Yeah. Yes Okay, we also have a You know that gum where they have that little like When you bite into the juice in the middle Yeah, it's like a gusher. It's like a gusher Yeah, so we have very different So guys we have you know, we have a compounding pharmacy not far from here and we have different formulations of bobby's dick juice So again, if you're suffering from any ailments anywhere from depression to glaucoma to um, gingivitis on your spine

Um, you know, just put in an order and we gotcha. Yeah, and also we're on Spotify and also we're on Spotify So find us there. Um, any other uh, der? Uh, I just want to show this picture. We showed it. Uh, yeah, we we didn't show it on the podcast I want to show this to the audience on youtube, but the artist for this George is Rob It's amazing. Uh, look, it's the first basically artwork. We've gotten that looks like a lila You see people have a hard time trying to draw kalilah's just facial structure sometimes beautiful photos, but typically doesn't look like I'll tell you why

Think I'm difficult the cat rubbed against the uh, the wide here. So the the wide camera's a little different Oh, that's fine And reminder to everybody, um, bobby will be at the Addison improv this weekend Friday, saturday sunday And he his next show after that is at the denver comedy works april 12th to the 14th Please go to bobbyleelive.com For more dates and ticket links. Yeah, and then if you want, uh, email My email if you want to send us any packages like rebecca or you want to just send dream water to bobby or brand new Fancy jacket to kalilah or tomato seeds to george. You can do that at

The oh, I'm sorry. I did the same thing 1626 north wilcox Avenue we haven't done in a while. Is it avenue? It's avenue north wilcox avenue number 161 um, hollywood california 9003 28 90028 and if if, um Um, um, you can go to our, um, instagram and our mailing address is on there as well Actually every pit bit of information that you need to know including when this show Um airs is on our instagram bio. So follow us fails go there So follow us on instagram at tiger belly on twitter at the tiger belly and emails any questions, uh at the tiger belly at gmail

Dot com you can follow kalilah and all social media at calamity k and george on instagram george underscore kimmel and bobby on at bobby live Uh guys, thanks for listening. It was a long one. Thank you for sticking around Hey Prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery dot com slash survey