TigerBelly - Episode 139: Natasha Leggero & The Stir Fry

Episode Date: April 25, 2018

Natasha says nay on Bey. Bobo robs banks. We talk the briney deep, recessive genes, the lils, and writings of the wall.Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. Can this dog stop slurping? Stop it! 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. I just been singing that all day long everybody. I am Titanium by Sia. Very, very popular song on the radio these days. My name is Captain Bob Lee General. I'm a spirit in human form.

And we've got, Jesus. Flat face Gilbert. What's up? I have a flat face. Yes, we've got my beautiful princess. She's just got back from Coachella's. Coachella, right? Kalyla Goon. We have George. Howdy.

Dude, if you see Howdy, if you see Howdy one more time like that, I'm going to rip your eyes out. Howdy. Anyway, and we got his handsome cousin, Bryce. Who's sitting in a closet? I know you have an interview. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where he belongs.

Fuck eyes. Yeah, he's a dirty white. Yeah, and dirty white's going there. You're not dirty? Huh? And also we have a very, very, very special guest. And the thing is, is this, is that I've known her for so long, and I'm actually quite, you know, her and her husband,

I'm a little intimidated by them. They're a power couple, you know, but we've got Natasha Ligiero in the house, everybody. Clap your hands. How are you? You got, how can you be intimidated by me? Because you, you got me everything when I first started. You were like my champion.

I know, but the thing is, is this, is that. You're the first comedian I ever met. Is it really? Yeah, and Bobby, you would meet me and we would like have like, remember there was some place on Sunset where you could like, it was like, you'd go down and have coffee, and then you were like, I'm just going to run into a set. I'll be right back.

Oh yeah. And I was like, whoa. He could just like go to a set like that. I thought that was so cool. I do remember going to Los Feliz with you at that Starbucks with Aaron Cater and we would write and stuff there. Yeah. And then you started doing it.

It's so funny because I, you know, I knew you before you did it. And the same with Ally Wong. Ally Wong, I knew her before she did it. In San Francisco? Yes. You were a San Francisco comedian? No, but she was a journalist.

And I did a really shitty break dancing movie called Kicking at Old School with Jamie Kennedy. I remember that. You do? I mean, kind of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really good and bad. But I was doing press there and I met Ally and Ally was like,

hey, I wanted to do stand up. And I'm like, oh, you should. That's cool. And then, you know, I gave her pointers or whatnot. But you must have done that for so many people. You're like a godfather. Yeah, I did it last night too. I don't know why.

I don't know why. I don't know why I do that. Why do you think I do that? Is it a neediness on my part? Yeah. Well, it's because comedians all they have this like desire. Like everyone wants, especially like you're like a quintessential comedian.

Yeah. Like one person in your family probably didn't give you enough love. My dad. And now you now you need to get that love every night. Oh my God. Is that what it is? And then you get it more from like helping other people and like

you've got this like overactive, but it's good. Yeah. But I mean, I don't want to brag. You're about to. I'm about to brag, but I don't want to at all. You have to. You have to. Okay.

But I have to brag. Yeah. Right. Is that there is, you know, a group of comics that I think encouraged or pushed a little bit and they're still in it and they're doing quite well. This. So you don't just try to help anyone.

I feel like I've heard you tell a lot of people. Who aren't even good. Drop their engineering jobs. Yeah. Yeah. Drop your engineering job at Faheem. Not Faheem. I just fucking did it before you.

I'm saying I've heard at least three times a day, three times a day. Oh yeah. You live in Milwaukee. What are you a truck driver? You should move out to LA, bro. You do that all the time. I have a wife and four kids. Howdy.

Howdy. Howdy. Stop your laughing. Okay. I'm like in charge of you kind of Bobby. Yeah. Just a few topics. She, she, um, you know, let me say something.

She, um, she has changed my life. That's good. You guys are a very cute couple. And five years and I met her on Tinder and, you know, I'm having a little upswing in my career right now. And I'm at my wit's end. I'm having, I'm having a major. Yeah.

And my upswing is, I think she's a part of that. Um, the catalyst of that. That's good. Yeah. Because she, um, she started this podcast. I just bought the mics. It doesn't matter. You, and you kept going, let's do it.

Let's do it. I just thought that you should have one. And you were like, I go, I'm going to do it. Kalyla, just take the compliment. I will. I'm taking the credit. Take the credit. Yeah.

You should take the credit, babe. Okay. But the thing is, is that she changed my life. And, um, and I'm not, I'm not going to say it again because I've been saying that. Every, every episode now, I feel like it's getting, you know, it's getting out of control. Yeah.

I'm not used to all this kindness from you. Yeah. It feels weird. But Natasha married Mosha Casher. Yes. That's true. Right. Who is another outstanding comedian from San Francisco.

I've known, I've known him for a very long time as well. He's a great guy. You're friends with all my ex-boyfriends. That's right. You're friends with everybody. You're like, you're like the leader. Like you're like a connector. I have enemies.

I have people I don't like. That you don't like? There are people that I just kind of, I just don't care for. I feel like all the wisdom I had, I got early on and stand up came from you. Oh my God. We don't have to talk about that. Yeah. What is it like one?

What is one? Do you remember? Do you even fucking remember? I remember, I remember many. Yeah. I quote them all the time. On stage. I quoted one to Mosha the other day because you said something that unless everyone,

you're nobody until people start hating you. Right. I still say that. I still say that a lot. And then you also said to try to be funny before you start talking when you go up on stage. And I noticed the other day you did that. Yeah.

You're really good at that. You do this. You, you know, people write jokes and people go, well, I got to, you know, we, especially when people haven't done it yet. They're like, I'm just waiting until my materials ready. And I'm like, you're not going to be able to say that shit until you're comfortable on stage. And the only way to get comfortable on stage is to bomb repeatedly. Well, that's another one of your things that you said.

You said like you have to bomb a hundred times. Yes. That's another thing. Yeah. Ari's said that I told him that as well. Yeah. He used to have it hanging on his wall. No.

Yes. That was the only decoration he had in his house. Wow. And it was this big like calendar. He's it shows you his workout thing. Yeah. And it said, you must bomb. What was it?

Until you bomb a hundred times. Yeah. He had a bad comic. Yeah. And he had the dip. And then it said Bobby Lee. It was a quote. Yeah.

She got a picture of that. And then he had the dates and then he would let, he bombed a lot. It seemed like. Yeah. And then he beat the shit out of me. He beat the shit out of me three times in a row. Well, I'm sure your friends now. We're very good friends now.

That's great. Yeah. Yeah. That's all that matters. Sometimes you got to go through some beating. Yeah. Yeah. You do, right?

Good advice. And then what happened? You have a baby now. Yeah. I had a baby. And what's that like? It's fun. Is it?

You're pregnant. He showed me the photo of when he first with the baby and that was the first time in my life that I actually felt my ovary kick. No offense. But I mean, just saying like I never felt any type of like, you know, I never really wanted to have a child. But when I saw that photo, I was like, Oh my God. What about the photo made you want to have a child?

Didn't you feel the same way? I did. Yeah. What? When I put that, when they put the baby on me. Yes. Yes. That photo.

Oh my God. That was so scary because like everyone's like, you have to have skin to skin. I didn't know what that was. And then as soon as the, because I had a C section, so it was like scheduled. So like it was scheduled for 10 a.m. and at 10.07 they're like, get, they took the baby out of me and then put it on my neck. And I was like, but it wasn't washed or anything. Yeah.

But did you have that bonding moment? No, I was just like, get the, give it a bath. Like it was just like, it was a little too like dirty. Yeah. But. No. I mean, I just don't. It's your baby.

I know. But I was, I was on drugs and they had just like tore her from me and then put her right here. Yeah. Wash it. Rinse it. Rinse it. Well, it wasn't even that it was dirty.

It was just like, I didn't know what I was supposed to feel. Yeah. You know, like I was just, I, yeah. And then how long was that baby on you? I asked him to remove it like a couple of minutes. Yeah. And you're like, okay, I had a look. I looked back at Moshe and he just looked scared, you know, and he had scrubs on and

he, because everyone's like, we didn't know what we were supposed to feel because everyone's like, it's going to be crazy, you know, but it's like, it's just this stranger that's like put on your neck, you know. Yeah. But there's not that instant love and connection that I was screaming. It's not how Bobby Clowley pictured it. I know. The photograph.

I feel like the photograph told a completely different story. Yeah. I'm like, oh, this is change, life change. I know. I was smiling in the picture and I don't remember smiling during that moment. You don't? No. So maybe it's, maybe it was like beyond what I realized.

Yeah. We saw the photo and I'm like, first of all, and don't take this the wrong way, but you're the, I'm probably the last person I thought would ever have a baby. Why is that? Because, and I also don't want you to take this the wrong way, but you're, you're fancy. Right. But lots of queens have had babies. That's true.

Princes. Yeah. But I always like looked at Natasha as like almost royal, you know, because I am slightly regretting it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's so sweet.

She's sweet. She got her little shots today and she started crying. It was very upset. Oh. You have to give them the vaccines. Oh. How do you feel about the anti-vax movement? Well, I was thinking today if something happened to her, I would become an anti-vaxer.

Oh, right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. iko retards. Do you guys know that? I didn't know that. I. That you're not supposed to be, like you are absolutely not supposed to be a body cake

talk. Well, you can't spank your kid. No.) In America, you can't just put him over your knee and slap him in the back. It's like it's been proven that it doesn't work. No, but is it illegal? No, it's not illegal. Oh okay, good.

But it's like… I'm good then. It works. But it's like one of those things like… Asian and. Yeah. Really? You think it works?

Yeah. For Asians, it worked. Well, we were all spanked. Yeah. It was weird. is I had to pluck the wires out for my lips. I had to peel them out. My mom didn't spank me, she boxed my mouth.

No, I resented her for a long time. So no, I don't plan on boxing my kids, but a little spanking maybe. You're really, I mean, I'm just telling you when you guys have a baby and you're in a play group and you tell someone that you spank your kid, they, it's really bad. Really?

My dad used to beat me with a golf club and I'm not even kidding like, no, like the putter. And as hard as it can against my legs. And a piano. He'd go, four, he would say four, four to, you know. I swear to God. He would say four. Yeah.

Probably. He ate it. That part you're making. I'm making that up, yeah. But he used to beat me with that. And then the piano. Steve asked Steve, him and I had like a lightsaber duo. Cause when I got older, I'm like,

oh, you're going to use golf clubs, bitch. I grabbed a golf club. But how's your relationship now? He's great, he's dying, but he was great. You know, I, you know, I see him, I love him. And I have no resentment at all toward the men. Do you, do you remember being spanked? Yes.

My mom had this thing called the paddle. And it was like a silver thing of wood. Cause she was a single mother. So she was always trying to find ways to discipline us. Yeah. And then I remember she, it hurt. Yeah. But did you, did she use it all the time on you or no?

Not all the time. Like it didn't feel abusive, but it definitely felt like a threat. What's the cutoff age of like acceptable for spanking? I'm telling you, it's like so taboo right now. Okay. Good to know. Noted.

I mean, I just don't think that there's a cutoff because it's like every, it's just kind of been proven in the same way that, I don't know. What? We'll know how there's just ways that you have to act now. Yeah. You have to comply. I know it's.

But I don't want to spank my child anyway. Yeah, don't. I mean, you know what? We don't spank our dogs. Our parents used to talk shit about each other to us. You know what I mean? Like people kind of know not to do that now. Like things have been like proven and changed.

Things have changed a little bit. The whole world is sensitive is what we're saying here. Well, I'm not even saying that. I'm saying like there are also certain things that we've learned through evolution. Right. You know, like it's bad to pit your kid against, you know, like have the parents pit,

like your dad's an asshole. Oh yeah. You know, like we kind of know you're not supposed to do that, but I think they used to do that. What was the first thing I said to you when I, you know, you had the baby and then the first time I saw you after you had the baby,

what was the first thing I asked you? Do you remember? I asked you if the baby was deaf. Do you remember that? Yeah. Yeah. Do you know why? Why?

Because her husband Moshe, very good committing by the way, his parents are deaf. Both of them. But it's a recessive gene and he had it, but I didn't have it. So in order for our daughter to even have a 30% chance of being deaf, we would both have to have the gene.

Yeah, but I don't fucking know that Natasha. No, I know, I know. That's why I asked you and I was being real. I was going, is it deaf? I was just explaining it to you. I know, I know. But we did get our DNA tested and the thing came back with the,

and we didn't understand what a recessive gene was, but the scientist explained it to us. So I was like, oh, he has it. Our baby could be deaf. And I was still down, you know. But is it, it's not going to be deaf? No, we can hear. It could.

But what do you mean? You do a little test and I think, wait, wait, Moshe has a recessive gene. What does that mean? It's recessive and there's dominant, right? I know. Is Moshe going to go deaf? No.

No. He is just, it's recessive in him. So he's a carrier of the genes. First of all, I don't like the way you guys are mocking me. Like I don't know what I'm fucking talking about. I'm asking real questions. He could be good at going deaf. What does recessive mean to you?

Let me tell you. He could go deaf. It's recessing. No, no, no. There's a dominant gene and a recessive gene. Yeah. So he has it, but it's not happening yet. There's something called.

It's recessing. Science alert. Science alert. Beep, beep, beep, science alert. There's gene expression, right? If it's a dominant gene, then it expresses itself. So if he, recessive means he carries the gene, but he's not expressing the gene.

Okay. Well, you know what? There's a nice way to tell me. And that's not the nice way. Don't talk down to me, baby. I don't know. I didn't go to college. Like you're, let's, you know how your herpes is asleep?

Yeah. His deafness is asleep. Ah. Right. But will my, can my herpes awaken? Science alert. It could. That's, you know, but I'm being real.

I can't awaken my herpes. Of course it can wake up. What can his deafness get awakened? Because it's a virus, what you have, and deafness is not a virus. Then don't compare the two. I don't know how to speak your language. Figure it out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh man, her tone right now is out of control. All right. I saw Beyonce this weekend. I'm feeling, you know. Yeah. Thank God it's empowered. Thank God it's not that.

Thank you. But you, you've met Moshe's parents, correct? Of course. I mean, they're married. I would hope so. Why can't I just ask like, Okay, you're right. Questions, you know.

I'm feeling a little. A lot of people listening right now, they don't fucking know. That is so funny to go to Beyonce and then just start acting like an asshole. I feel like that's just. Her attitude since she's been back. I came home and I just dropped my suitcase.

Yeah. I didn't open it. What was, what did she do that made you feel so empowered? I honestly could not believe that this woman had just birth twins and she put on a two hour performance. And part of it is that she just had a baby. Is that what everyone thinks is so cool?

A part of it is just how much she put out there. Cause I saw a lot of performers over the weekend and no one even came close to the amount of work that that woman does honestly. And she always does that, right? Always. Yeah. I mean, and you can tell she enjoys it

and she really wants to leave it all out there. Like she just, she doesn't phone it in. She's doing it all out. Did she sing Halo? She didn't. Right. Like Migos is like wasted. Yeah.

Migos is like, Oh, you know. Is her song Halo? Yes. Is that her song? All right, that's on my last gig. Bobby, I bet you don't like Beyonce. I like Halo.

I know why you don't like Beyonce though. Cause she's black. If you say that, I'm gonna go crazy on you. I'm going to say something worse. Why? Cause you have really good taste in music. There you go. Cause so do I.

Yeah. Do we not? Do we not though? You really have good taste in music. You can't really like Beyonce. I'm sorry. I know. I love that you said that.

And that's why I love you so much. I'm saying, I mean, I know she's a very powerful, empowering woman, but you can't say, well, I'm sure it speaks to people, but. Can I defend it by saying this though? I don't know if you know this about me, but in the last three or four years,

what is it? Just say it. What is it? Sponsor. Okay. Can I get my last point out then? It wasn't for you. It was for Klyla.

Howdy. Okay. But anyway, here's the thing is I've been obsessed with talent shows and singing shows. I'm obsessed with the voice. I'm obsessed with America's Got Talent. I'm obsessed with X Factor, all that shit.

Okay. There should be a judge on the gong show. What's the gong show? That's still up. That's still happening. What is that? It's a talent show. Don, do you remember the gong show?

Don Barris is the show? No, that's something else. Well, there's a new gong show? Yeah. He had to remake with a Mike Myers as the host. Mike Myers is doing the gong show? He's the host. But it's a talent show,

and then you could be one of the judges. Yeah, but you know, Comedy Central is it? I don't know. Anyway. He dropped. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh.

No, he, this guy was the biggest fucking comedy movie star, and now he's fucking a fucking game show host. Wait, so tell me about... You want to talk about him? Congratulations, Mike, for getting the show. For getting the gong show. Now you're never going to be on the gong show. I know, I was trying to get you to talk.

No, but I'll tell you why, and I hope Mike listens to this. I really do. Okay. He won't. Is I just, I thought, I really do believe that he's the Peter Sellers of our generation. I love Peter Sellers.

He's the best, I know. He's the best. Peter, there's rarely a talent out there like that. Someone that really just embodies a character and you're convinced, you know? And I think Mike Myers has that kind of talent. He's one of the best. That's why I'm saying it.

It's not, if he was just, if you, ah, I'm gonna, if you said, Dean Cook is hosting the gong show, I'd be like, oh, congratulations. That's great for him. He's a great comic. I love him. But he's not Mike Myers.

This is what basically what I'm saying. I was giving him props. You fucking cock sucker. What? I agree. But do you, so you're saying, what were you just saying though about Beyonce? So, you know, a lot of these talent shows,

they use these top 40 songs to audition with, right? So I've been getting, I've been getting as an older person being able to appreciate simple, strong structures, but it's based on the singing, you know? Cause there's a lot of songs that like Whitney Houston, I didn't even know a single Whitney Houston song until I started watching talent shows.

I thought she was a crack addict. It like, if you sit, that's it, that's it. You've only seen a reality show with Bobby Brown. Not even after that, just the photos online of her like dried lips and like, you know what I mean, twisted. I go, oh, she's a street walking crack addict. I didn't know that she was this talented person.

I'm every woman. But then when you watch like talent shows, you know, someone will sing a Whitney song and the audience or the judges will be like, this is gonna be difficult because it's Whitney. You know what I mean? This is a very difficult song, you know? So, you know, I appreciate songs

where it's difficult to sing. And that's why I'm beginning, not necessarily Beyonce, but there are certain people like who, I didn't know who Kelly Clarkson was. Or Alicia Keys. Or Alicia Keys or any of these people, but because I want-

Oh, that's right. I remember when you made your first Adiva's playlist. Yeah, I did. And you were like, look, sweetie, it's Beyonce and Mary J. Bleig. Yeah, I don't know how to- Now, Mary J. Blad, she's cool. She's cool.

I feel like I like her. I mean, I just find Beyonce's song kind of boring. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I agree with you. Thank you. But I've always been into people that play instruments and write songs and- She does?

No, I'm- No, in general. Right, me too. Yeah, I, you know, when you were raised with, I was raised with the Stones and the Beatles and, you know, and then like the Vovan Underground and Roxy Music, and all these, you know, all these things. But you always like new music too,

like it came out. I love new stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You alternative music. Yeah, I do. I like new stuff and- And have you made the switch to hip hop? It's hard.

Because you kind of have to, because that's all that people care about anymore. I know, but it's been hard for me. You don't like the Lilz? What is the Lilz? See, I want to write that down. No, like Lil Peep. Oh.

It's all Lil something. I thought the Lilz was a little- Lil Vicky. I thought the Lilz- I was going to Google the Lilz. No, I'm trying to name the genre. Lil Bow Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lil Bow Wow. No, that's the wrong genre. No, here, anyone listening right now, and I really want to be an open person, and I want to absorb new things. And if you're like really into hip hop and really know what the cool things are that I should listen to,

that's kind of innovative and forward, give me a list, email Tiger Belly, give me a list of- Of hip hop. Hip hop groups. Hip hop groups, yeah, yeah, that I can dive into, because I have all the Spotify's and all that stuff, and I'd be happy to dive into it.

But you don't really listen to much hip hop. Well, I mean, in the early, in the late 80s, I listened to like what my brother listened to, like dress, not Jurassic Five, but- I love Jurassic Five. I love Jurassic Five also, but Tribe Called Quest, those kind of the Foogees, I like them, I like those earlier ones.

And then as it got older, it got aggressive, like I would go into Crystal Lea's car and he had some sort of like really aggressive- Trap, trap music. Machine guns going off and people dying. Christ. Yeah. And, and we're, and we're,

you know what I mean, that kind of stuff, and I just didn't like it. What about Migos, what about Migos? I love the three Migos. Is that a band? Do you like Migos? I do. I do.

I can't do Migos, but I am in love with a 22 year old. I love Post Malone so much. See if Bobby would get into that, have you played for him? I didn't doubt it. You know Post Malone? I know Primo Malone. You know Primo Malone? Primo Malone's my favorite.

I think Bobby would like Post Malone. I don't think he'd like Migos at all. Migos is like funny though. Yeah, it's funny. It's funny. Can we play it on here? Yeah, if you have it. Oh, I can only play it on a song?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Will you play stir-fry for him? Oh, I didn't know that earlier. Wait, is that the onion line in it? Yeah, but is it called stir-fry? Is it Asian oriented? No, Bobby. It's a, I believe it's about cocaine.

You get like pop here. Oh, you guys, this is how you guys play music on your podcast? We never played pop music first time we played it. Yeah. Basically, this is about making drugs. Yeah, I like it. Okay, turn it off. I'm gonna get it.

I love it. I'm gonna get it. You liked it? One stir-fry please. Yeah, yeah, one stir-fry please. Wait, did you really like it? I like the groove of it. I like the groove.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But here's another thing is that, here's the thing about hip hop. Very different than like Tribe Called Quest. Right. And like political. I mean, these guys are all, it's all about like drug analysis.

Right, but the music, right, is sometimes very melodic and interesting. It's just, my thing just tonally for me is that when they start rapping, it all sounds the same to me in terms of like the cadence. You know, there's no melody. Sometimes in the chorus, they'll sing a melody,

but hip hop, ta-da-ba-da-ba, it's all the same, you know? Cushion, yeah. Yeah, for me, it's a little, I'm not, I have to adjust my way of thinking, I guess. What about Drake? Don't even know who he is. You like, I like Drake.

Well, no, I just do a podcast where we talk about the top songs. That's how I know like what's in the top, Billboard top five. But did you know that three of the top five songs are Drake? No. Yeah, I believe it. Yes.

He's that big. Yes, massive. Yeah, he can blur the lines with different audiences. Really? So like hipsters like Drake. Everyone likes him. Why people love Drake? Why people love Drake?

Canadians, man. Canadians, yeah. Well, he's Canadian? Yeah. He was on his grassy. He was on, I remember, and that's the Degrassi that I watch. I don't watch a new generation.

But I don't think anyone's ever had three out of the five songs be their band. Yeah, that's incredible. Yeah, but you know, if he's Canadian, I'm probably gonna like him. You think? Why is that? Because, and this is gonna sound,

and I want to, I'm gonna just try to tiptoe away from, right? But just baby, just hear me out, okay? Here's the thing is that, a lot of times when I listen to hip hop, I don't like the violence, right? Or like street life when people talk. Because to me, I'm from the suburbs.

I don't relate. I like trees. A lot of these guys are from the suburbs. Oh, they are. Drake is not from the streets. That's what he is. That's what I'm saying. Drake, if he's from Canada, right?

He's, you know, he did a lot of maple trees, hockey sticks. He was an actor before he was a rapper. No, my point is, because I've been to Canada, right? Yeah. A lot of beautiful snow. Very beautiful. Nature, right? So he's not from the streets of,

if he's, where Toronto, where is he from? Toronto. Yeah, I mean, Toronto's cosmopolitan. It's like everyone's so nice. The food's great. Great culture. There's no violence. Where would you guys go if you had to escape America?

Toronto? No, no, no, no, no. I'm not a cold weather person. Yeah. For me. I wanna go to Italy. Yeah. What part?

Escape what? Forever? If you could get, if you are Italian or whatever, like you could get citizenship. Yeah, but escape what? Is a zombie apocalypse? I would say like a Trump situation, or like a reasonably good thing.

To leave. I know where. Where? I think Kaleila, when we take the dogs and we'd go south and we would go to Tulum, to Mexico. It's too close. To Trump? If we're trying to escape.

Trump's not gonna find us out there. I've never been to Tulum, is it amazing? Bobby explains it as where all the rich hippies go, so. Oh, really? Okay, do you like hipsters? I mean, not really. Look at me right now. Do you like them?

Do I like them? We know them. We've been around them. I mean, I'd rather hang out with hipsters than conservatives. There we go, then there we go. That's all I need to hear, okay? There are no conservatives down there, okay? So it's hippie-ish, I don't like the hippies,

but hippie-ish hipsters that live in a tropical area where it's great hotels. I mean, the most beautiful hotels you'll ever seen. Really? They look like you're on a different planet, actually. That one hotel, we went with the deep forest. It was a bee, these dark trees, and then the hotel is amongst it, so it doesn't even,

you don't even know. Sounds amazing. Yeah, and it's like just trees. And it's different from other parts of Mexico because it isn't a party town, so like. Right, I didn't get that one. I didn't get that vibe. There's no drunk white people, like college kids.

There are actually none at all. Yeah. Amazing. I haven't heard many people talk about it. It is, but I'm gonna say this. You like good food? Of course. The best restaurants you'll ever be.

In Tulum? Yeah, there are these chefs that somehow open up shop there. So it's like a fancy place in Mexico. It is a fancy place. It's also very expensive. It's more expensive than all the other places I've been to in Mexico. But still Mexico, though.

Right. I mean, if you were to go to like two hours away to like Playa del Carmen, that's cheaper, but that's got like the drunken crowd. But it's probably cheaper than like Bora Bora or something. Or like the Polynesian. Yeah, Bora Bora is probably more expensive. I'm trying to think.

I'm gonna go to Tulum. You should go to Tulum. I wanna go to the Forest Hotel. B, it's called B. B2M. Yeah, you would love it. The food's great there. It's right on the beach.

And the water's bright blue, you know? Is it warm? Warm as fuck. It's the Caribbean. It's only a three and a half hour flight from here. Wow. And then on top of it, I said the food, but it's like the Mexicans there are the ones we like.

Bobby. No, I wanna say this, okay? And when I say that, I don't want people to get all fucking e-mail-y. You're like the rich ones. No, not the rich ones, not even the rich ones. That's not what my point is. That's not what my point is.

What I'm saying is this. I'm not your wife or your girlfriend. You don't have to yell at me like that. I'm not yelling. I'm yelling at that. Because you are the crap. You're everyone listening. Natasha, I don't yell at her.

I'm gonna go over here. I'm gonna go over here, okay? But the thing is this is that, you think there's Koreans I like? No, there's some fucking dirty ones, right? That I don't like. And I go to Koreatown, I see them and they're dirty. Are you Korean?

Yeah, I am. 100%? Yes. 100%. Have you gotten your DNA tested? No, I could be something. Like Coupa Chupacabra or something. An animal.

Yeah, an animal or something. But there are Koreans I don't like. There are a lot of white people I don't like. And no, I love you too. Howdy. Howdy. But there are some Hispanics I don't like and there are ones that I do like.

And the Hispanics there are... A wonderful group of people. I'm excited. Why are you talking like this? And I was like, oh, because you're Asian, you can probably say whatever you want. Just about. Oh yeah.

No, but I never even thought of it that way. I think if I was a white comic, there are certain things I couldn't probably say. You're right. Right? And that isn't... I don't think that's right. I think the whites should be able to say

whatever they feel like. The whites. You were like the Asian Marth Luther King. White should say whatever they like. I believe that every race and everyone should say whatever they want. Free speech. You know, and it's like, if we, if I was a white,

and I was a white and I said those things. You can just say if I was white. No, I was a white. I'm not white. Okay, I would never be a white. A white. If I was a white. Okay.

Yeah, right. And I said these things. It could devastate my career. My whole career could be on the line. And because I am not a white, I just love doing it. I just do it. I love doing it in front of white people.

You have no control over me anymore. Do you hear me? What? Yeah, you're right. Hey, you hear me, Bryce? George, your reign is over. Our day is coming. I'm sorry.

I don't know what happened. Well, I think men's reign is kind of over. Oh my God. And you're included in that. Sorry, Bobby. It's over. What do you mean? Your female disposition does not exempt you.

What do you mean my female disposition? Let me just say this. Okay, and if you're going to start a fucking gender war with me. I said you were one of us. If you're going to start. Discussion-wise. All right.

If you're going to start a gender war with me, I'm going to tell you right now, I've always been pro-women for my whole life. Because my mother was. My mother was a woman. A woman, I believe. She did have a little penis on her thigh. It was a mutation.

No, I believe that you're very pro-women. Yeah, a mutation. I, you know, I've never, well, you know, it's so funny because I ran into Kira Stavanovich. Soltanovich? I don't know her name. I've never knew her name. But I went to Kira Stavanovich and I said.

Kira Stavanovich. Whatever. Whatever. KS, KS. KS, okay. And I just walked up to her and I go, and I checked myself. Well, she checked me.

I said, oh my God, there she is. One of the strongest female comics in the country. Just, you know, she goes, female comics. And I go, oh yeah, you're right. Just regular comics, I mean. You know, like it stopped me from my tracks because she is a strong, regular comic. But if somebody said to me, hey,

Bombie is one of the strongest Asian comedies in the country, I wouldn't be offended. You wouldn't? No, because I'm not one of the strongest comics in the country. I know that. There's probably a hundred dudes better than me. Death fan?

Ooh. We got to take him out of the shrine. You got to take him out of the shrine, Natasha. You're one of my best friends out there. How dare you, Natasha? I remember going to auditions and you'd be like, worried about that fan. Going in before you.

Please tell more. I'm sorry. I mean, I shouldn't say that. Yeah, yes, please. Tell us more. Tell us everything. Oh, please. I just remember that.

Well, I remember Bobby pacing and looking at the board and seeing like, death fan came in. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You still pretty worried about him? Well, they're close. We're pretty close. Yeah. Are you really friends now?

Yeah, I think, yeah. No. Yeah. No, we keep, you're not. He blocked me on Instagram. He blocked her on Instagram. Why did he block you? Because Bobby was obsessive.

Well, can we talk about it? No. Kalyla was obsessing. Well, I won't say anything. Well, he, Kalyla had a problem. I took the brunt of your obsession and he blocked me. I see, I have an obsession with him. But he's playing Hollywood, so he won't block Bobby,

but he's doing like an in-breath attack. I have an obsession with him. I've always had an obsession with him. I know, I remember. And, but I said to her, to you, exude, or you. I want you to deliver the. Deliver my obsession, and I'm not going to say anything. To the world.

Because I don't want him to not like me. You don't want anyone to not like you. That is, that's so weird that you say that. Because you're right. Why am I like that? I already told you. Why? Because you didn't get enough love from your father.

And, and you also, I mean, you're also, you also have a talent. And you could just be your disposition in general. I think this is an opportune moment for me to, this is real. I'm going to say something very real to me. I'm about to cry. No, you're not. I know, because I haven't cried in a long time, but I am. And as these people know, you know, these are my family.

This is my family here. And, you know, rarely, you know, I, you know, I've been in a lot of things. You know, I've done, you know, I'm going to sit come now. I've, you know, I've done things, I've done some movies and stuff and whatnot. And, you're very popular. I, I was so bad on your show, it gave me nightmares. What show? Another period?

Yeah. No, you weren't. Remember, I couldn't remember my lines and all that. He came home crying. I came home crying. He was, he, all day, he was crying. Is that the last time he cried? Yes.

And he said, I couldn't say, briny deep. That's what I'm saying. It gave me, it traumatized me. Yeah, the word briny, the phrase briny deep. Had forgotten about that, but I just remember you were funny. Did you watch it? No. It was good.

I know, but the thing is, is that I knew, here's the thing though, is that for some reason, that day, because it's you and Moshe, I wanted to do such a great job because you guys, I love you guys so, I really do love, I've always loved you guys. I, I loved you guys even before you guys were even together. Cause I used to see Moshe at, you know, around town when he, he was friends with my brother before I was friends with him. Cause when he first moved here, he wasn't like, he was trying to get in, you know? And I just have always just really liked him and his standup is so smart and he's such

a good comic. And I think, I just think so highly of you. In fact, in fact, that fucking show, that show that, what's that game show that with Byron Allen, that Byron Allen game, the reason why I did it is they go, I go, who's done it? They go, Louie Anderson. I love Louie and all these people. They go, yeah, it seems a little, they go, Natasha's done it.

I'll do it then. You're the reason why, right? You're the reason why I even fucking did that because you are like hips in my mind and how I feel about you. So I'm like, you know, that's okay to do. Well I was also trying to make money to buy wallpaper. Yeah. They paid pretty good, huh?

Right. You're there one day. It's the easiest show you could possibly do. You say one word, they write it for you, right? Like they won't let you. They won't. Come up with stuff. No.

And you're there with, well, I did a Caroline Ray, Louie Anderson, John Lovitz, they're a little older, right? But when you're, and you're kind of like, you know, there's six chairs and you're just sitting there with them amongst them and it feels like back in the day in the seventies and sixties and seventies of like, yeah, that's what I do too. Hollywood Square. Yeah. Just, no, even back when like they used to do those roasts, it's a kind of old timey

and people like are making fun of me and stuff and, you know, and I'm having this camaraderie with these people that I grew up watching. So it really was really fun to do. They asked me again, but I couldn't do it, but I want, I'd like to do it again. How many have you done? A bunch. Like 10? I've got a lot of wallpapers.

No, it's fun hanging out with, you know, so we understand and John Lovitz. I love those guys so much. You know, Motion, I have a special together that's out. I know. And that's why. Did you see it? No, but I've been. Since you're such a fan of both of ours.

Well, you know what? It's so funny that you say something like that because of that. He doesn't have Netflix on his iPad. I don't have a Netflix on my iPad and also on top of it, it's like, he has Netflix on his iPad. I don't have a Netflix on my iPad. That's okay. By the way, I 100% do not expect you to watch my stand up special.

No, but I'll tell you the reason why I won't. Why don't you have one? That's the reason why. The age old question. That's the reason why is because I'm such a lazy writer and I hate my material and what on and on and on that I, it's just one of those little things that plagues me. Why don't you retire it on a special? Yeah.

And then you'd have to start over. Yeah. And then they go, well, you want to do a 15 minute one? Oh, the stand ups. Right. That one. And I'm like, what? Like, yeah, they're doing these 15 minute ones.

15 minutes. Eight comics. Eight comics. Like the guys you never heard of. Oh, interesting. Brett Moore. Brett Moore. They're the only one I have heard of.

Well, motion. I just did like 30 minutes each, which I thought was plenty. Yeah. But that was, it's being advertised a lot even on their platform. Yeah. It's the front. If you go on the honeymoon special. Yeah, the honeymoon special.

If you go on Instagram, they're, I think they've advertised or other people have and I see it a lot. But what does that have to do with doing a 15 minute one? Because you should have your own obviously. Here's the thing though, Natasha Leggero, are you going to change your last name? So close for that. No, I think I'm past that. Yeah, keep it.

Thank you. I love it. But here's the thing. It's that I've been doing it for so long and I'm about to get, I'm about to like just vent a little bit here, I want to vent a little bit, okay? Is your past at the comedy store, correct? Of course. Yeah, you are.

You're a headliner. Well, that's where we met too. Cause I would, we would go there every Sunday. Like I'd say 15 years ago, we were there every Sunday. Not you, you already passed. Yeah. But I would host the open mic sometimes. And I would come every Sunday and wait for Mitzi and she never came and then maybe finally

one day after three months of every single Sunday she came. Did she pass you? She did. Like took another, it was like a different way that she passed me. It wasn't from going, I think she came in and was just like, no one's passed or something like that. Yeah. I remember one time sitting next to her and I'm just talking to her and they bring a

comic I don't hear cause I'm talking in Mitzi. And then all of a sudden I'm in it in. She goes, she just yells out, lie them. He doesn't have it. Right. And I look up on stage, it's Louis CK. Now I go, because this is, he had an HBO special at the time with his first one, right? So I turn over, I go, he has an HBO special.

I have a gun too. And if I had it, I'd kill myself and he wasn't even, he did one minute and he left. That's how fucking toward the end, she just didn't have her finger on the pulse. I don't think. I definitely don't think she had her finger on the pulse, but I do think she like had a funny wisdom to her. She did. All those things I said, all those little things.

Those are all from her? From her. Oh really? Like she used to say, you know. You used to hang out with her? Yeah. Oh wow. I used to go to, when I lived in San Diego, she used to drive down with Freddie Soto and

this is when Freddie Soto and I were very good friends and he'd go, hey dude, we're going to bullies come at Steakhouse, which is right around, I don't think it's there anymore. And I used to eat steak with Mitzi. That's back then. And I was already past. So it was kind of cool. But.

Yeah. What kind of things did she have to tell you? Just the stuff that I've told you, you know what I mean about like, you know, bombing and all that. I mean, you know, tidbits you get from, it is a sin to support mediocrity is her big one. You know, because. But then she's like, you should be called Johnny Bananas.

Right. Jackie Graham. You should wear a yellow suit and call yourself Johnny Banana or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. It was a guy named Jackie Graham. Have I told you? Have you talked about it?

Yeah. Jackie Graham, right? Jackie Graham. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jackie Banana. But I'm just saying the mediocrity thing is like.

Right. But maybe it's whatever her vision is. Your name is John Campy to John Caparillo. Do you remember that? Oh yeah. I've seen his name on the list as John Campy for like five years. Didn't she name Carlos Mencia? She named Carlos Mencia.

Oh wow. What was his name? Ned Holness. Ned what? Ned Holness. Wow. Yeah. He's half German.

People don't know that. Wow. His dad's white. Interesting. And he's from Honduras. So she wanted him to like. Exploit that. So she was smart in that way.

Branding. Jackson Perdue. And he said, you got to wear a purple turtleneck on stage. And he did. So this poor fucking guy during the summer had a purple turtleneck on stage. Yeah. And he's like sweaty. Like the sweats just going to his neck.

Her vision is like a very specific 80s vision of what the pulse is. Yeah. Yeah. She liked. You know what? And you know, back in the 80s she was, I have one Russian. Right. Y'all got right.

Yeah. I have a gay guy. Like she wanted. Yeah. And in many ways she's not wrong to do that. I think Adam, you know, the new guy, he still does it. He's like, I need, she's share it. He says one night said Sherry Shepherd has to come tonight.

I go, why? Because, you know, she's the only black girl, black person on the lineup. Which is, I'm glad he is thinking in that way. If it was like 15 white dudes. I think it's a really. Yes. It's very good to be conscious of that. Yeah.

I think that everyone's starting to like wake up to that. But Mitzi did it in the 80s, like when I auditioned for one, I mean, she saw me and she passed me. She's like, finally, like an American Asian guy who doesn't resolve, you know, that kind of thing. You're like your own thing, you know, because before the gooks that they used to have were like chimchangi gooks, like, you know, they look like you. Yes.

Thank you. They used to eat at a steakhouse with her. That sounds fun. Yeah. She doesn't tip, so we'd have to throw money out there. She just doesn't tip. She doesn't believe in it. She doesn't tip, no.

Why? I don't know. She goes to a nice restaurant and doesn't tip even 15 percent. We used to throw money out of the table. That's all I know. Wow. I'm glad you lowered your voice for that. I know.

She also passed away, so I feel a little guilty for saying that. Oh, that's why you're lowering your voice. Yeah. Yeah. So if I say it like. She won't hear it. Yeah. I'm half staffing it.

Yeah. Maybe Pauli won't hear it, you know? Yeah. But what I was going to say, though, is that back to my original point was that these Netflix specials and whatnot, is that playing that room and being a regular, it's not easy to do. I feel like, you know, when you're playing the rooms in the three rooms, improv, you know, Comedy Store, Laugh Actors, especially the Comedy Store, you have to be vetted.

They don't throw just anyone up on stage. They have to be, you know, seen over the even sometimes years. And I feel like the industry, they don't look, they just look at the whole thing. And I'm sure there are great comics that do the, what's that nerd place that they do it? Nerdist. Nerdist. You know what I mean? Meltdown.

What? Meltdown. Meltdown. That's what I'm saying, you know. There's some great, you know, coffee shop comics, probably, you know, but what? Nothing. Well, they would probably rise to the, no, but they use coffee shop comics in these things. What things?

Like they get things ahead of me in terms of like, here's what's happening. It's becoming easier to make it. Oh. You know what I mean? You really think so? Yes. Because how many comedians, you know, who've been at it for four years and they have their own show?

You're right. It took people, it took like us like, like 10 years at least. Yeah. And now it's like, it just doesn't take 10 years anymore. Because there's so much, there's so many networks. That's also the same thing with music. It's like, it's really hard to be a massive universal star now because there's just so many ways to make it.

There's so many just like, you just have to have your niche audience. Exactly. This is a very popular podcast, right? Yeah. And it's like. It's very specific. When you go on the road and they come see you. Yeah.

Yeah. It's amazing. Yeah. And they're going to love you. I'll tell you that right now. But I don't know how I feel. Not if they love Beyonce. But I don't know how I feel about that.

Like I, in one way, I encourage it. Like when I, when we do, we collaborate with a lot of like YouTube people and stuff like that. And I love them. And I think they're great. We've had YouTube people on the show, right? Young people that have, have been catapulted. Have you heard of this guy, Cameron Dallas?

No. He's a YouTuber. And he just went on a national world tour of a meet and greet because they don't have a skill. He just takes pictures. He just meets them. And feels stadiums. Stadiums.

It's stadiums. It's stadiums. Just take pictures. Oh my God. I mean, obviously it's very young girls. Yeah. Because he's cute. Yeah.

But yeah, it's like. He took a lot of money. Can't, doesn't sing. Doesn't do stand up. But what does he do on YouTube then? Is he just like. Selfies and like. Like, I guess videos, skateboarding videos, I don't really know.

I don't spend a lot of time on a CAA called me and said, Hey, there's this company that wanted, they want, they need help from you. And I said, this is five years ago, I go, All right. What is it? They're like, did they just have a bunch of, they signed a bunch of Vine stars? And I go, Okay. And they just want to have a meeting with you. There's good money in it for you.

I went, I didn't know what it was about. I was showed up at this company and they had a catalog of people. They're all millions of hit. I don't know. I didn't do Vine. So I don't know. Yeah. And they go, Hey, we, we want you to teach our guys how to do stand up, teach a Vine.

I go, What? And then, yeah, because, you know, we want to be able to generate income for them. And we think that live personal appearances would be, you know, fruitful for. And I go, Yeah, it's not something that you can just teach like that. It takes 10, 15 years. Bye. Yeah. Your agent should have like vetted that.

Vetted that. Yeah. But I couldn't fucking believe it. That's crazy. It's crazy. They just go to, do you think he sells out stadiums of people wanting a picture? It's a lot of people. I think he does like skits from what I've seen.

Oh boy. Yeah. Oh, I'll do, I'll, I'll go on the road. I was at Schaumburg Improv. One show was like, one of my shows was like half full, but the show during the day was a YouTube star. He was sold out really. I just thought of another, um, wisdom that you gave me.

What? You took me on the road to open to you open for a, for a college to open for you. You were doing a college and you said colleges are like robbing banks. You can cut that out if you want. No, I don't know. That's 100% true. I don't remember saying that, but I always tell motion that I go Bobby Lee said, we should just do the college.

It's like robbing the bank. I did a whole Indiana fucking robbing bank fucking tour. That's who Bobby Lee's robbing college is talking about. I mean, basically. Well, because you're in a bad setting. It's, I mean, not, not that you're like in a cafeteria often. It's in the day. You know, people don't have any references past anything from like, you know, 2008.

So are you trying to put on a good show or are you kind of just like, ah, this is gonna be shitty? It's impossible. You have to like ask them, you know, about sex or like, I don't know. I always talk to them just because I don't know, they don't understand my references. And then you, you get a better deal if you can do a run. So you, what you'll do is there is this thing called NACA conferences, right? You perform and sometimes you have to follow like three American Indians with playing a

flute. Yeah. It's the most diverse talent. You'll do NACA. No, I don't do it. No, I won't, I refuse to do it, but back in the day, you'd have three, you know, I mean, and you'd want to follow that because you're like, I want to fucking kill. I mean, these fucking, you're putting to sleep, these people.

And then you would do it and then you'd have to go to the marketplace. All these kids come up. So you do these runs. So you go, oh, I can, they'll get a better deal if five schools in a row and like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, right? Same area. Yeah. Same area.

And so you would just do this bank robbery. Monday through Friday, right? Bank robbery. From town to town. Right. And they would pay you, you know, at the time, a thousand dollars a show and that's a lot of money when it comes to a young person. You, you like did a strip show and climbed up on the wall in a college.

It's your closer. I know. In a college. Oh my God. Oh, and you like, yeah, you like grinded some student. That's good. Yeah, that's good. Yeah.

Yeah. And then I just remember there was a place to climb and you did it. It's a Bobby day. He scans the room. Yeah. Honestly, it was very inspiring. I do stuff like that now. I mean, I would, I don't do strip teases.

You do a sing thing. Right. Sometimes a sing thing. No, no. You do it like something to do it because I have asked you sometimes how does the touch of clothes is sometimes I've heard that you bring people on stage and they do a sing. What happens? Tell me.

Oh, maybe a long time ago. A long time ago. Yeah. I would do some or maybe like a dance off. A dance off. That's what it was. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Now I've been asking people to tell the story of when they've seen a man jerk off in public. Really? Yeah. And every woman has a story. Oh yeah. Kalyla, where are you?

Absolutely. And men don't realize that every woman has experienced this. I was in America for a year and I was taking my, it took me two buses to get home from swim practice. Yeah. It was 9 p.m. I was 15. Oh my God.

And this guy, the bus was empty. He walked all the way to the back of the bus, sat right next to me, pulled his giant cock out and just started like stroking and looking at me. It was that big? He had his both hands like that? It was so big. I was so frightened but impressed. But then like I remember ran home.

He was in the same chair next to you? I was the only one because it was late. I was the only one on that bus and he sat next to me and he jerked off next to me. Bobby, don't get any ideas. This is not acceptable behavior. It's not acceptable. You know how great it would be if women did that in public, masturbated in public? I'm a guy, I move here from the Philippines.

I'm on a bus, some lady just pulls out her pussy and starts to grump. I would call all my friends. America! America! Come to America! It's so funny, somehow it's just deeply that... I'm sorry that happened. Yeah, thank you.

Women would be mentally ill if they did that. Exactly. It's funny how... Men are mentally ill when they do that. Well, not really. They're just kind of horny. Have you ever jerked off in public? It's so weird.

Look how weird I am. So more men are mentally ill? I mean, why has every woman experienced this but no man has? Have you ever seen a woman? Has she ever plopped next to you? Even from a distance, have you seen a woman just fucking fisting herself? I've never seen it too. Damn it, I've never seen it.

No, no. Exactly, but I've never met a woman who hasn't seen someone jerk off in public. All right, that's a good point. That's really good, actually. That's a very good point, okay? I've never seen it. I don't know any guy that's ever done it, but I believe you. It's a nightmare.

But I'm just saying it's not necessarily because they're mentally ill. Right. I'm saying it's more just like one of the symptoms of being a man. Right. Right. I guess. Yeah. You guys are horny.

No, that's not what it is. I think there's control involved. There's control. I think there's control. I think there's like some power that they want to exude. Oh, interesting. I don't. It's definitely intimidating to come over to a young girl in an empty bus and pull

out your big dick right next to her. It's funny how I don't, you know, I've done a lot of strange things. I've sucked dick. Everyone knows that. I've, um, I did not know that. Yeah. I have. I don't want to know whose.

You don't know. You don't know anybody. It was your husband. No comic. I like that. You're just curious. Yeah. I mean, I've done.

No, I've also, I've watched a weird porn before I've had prostitute. I've done a lot of weird things. I'm not proud of Christians if you're listening. Okay. I'm, you know, a lot of Christians in this niche, tiger belly audience, plenty actually in fact. This fan is a man named Pastor Gil and he's come see me perform. Many times.

Yeah. And he's a real pastor. So in your face, Natasha, the Lord loves us too. Shout out to Pastor Gil. Yeah, but, um, I've never, um, I've never wanted to do that because it involves somebody else that doesn't participate in. Yeah. It's like the same thing as like, I mean, anything like it, like even physically controlling

a woman or anything like that, it's like, I just, not that kind. And it's so funny. You're like, Mosha doesn't seem like that kind of guy either. What? That he would jerk off in public? Yeah. Or that he wants to control. Well, he doesn't seem like a controlling guy because I don't know, I'm sorry.

He wants, I think that there is different. You gave yourself bangs. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. You look like an artist right now. I'm an artist. I'm an artist. Go ahead.

You give, I think that there are certain types of guys who want girls who have things going on and then certain types of guys who just want like a plus one. Right. That's true. A plus one. And then some guys like they want a girl who like has like her shit going on. You seem more like that kind of guy. You know what's so funny is that lately I've been running, I don't know, you watch The

Bachelor? I have. Regrettably, so have I. But this last season really pissed me off because he's exactly that type of guy where it's like there were all these like really like amazing women. But then at the end, you knew what type of guy he was. He just wanted the plus one. The meek.

Plus one. Interesting. But which is fine. I mean, that's what you wanted. I'm sure she's a great girl. But I think having a mother like your, your daughter, right? I think having like having a strong mother right dictates how the sibling children behave or their outlook or overall outlook and on not always because you know, my sister is

a really outgoing woman. She's very like when she is sexually open, just loud and boisterous and her daughter is the most introverted, meekest, shyest, most insecure girl in the world. And I don't know how. Because the dad's not in or in the picture. Yeah, that's true. But she's had all these strong women around her always telling her always boosting her up.

Okay, maybe not in all cases. Fucking Kalilah. I'm just saying it's not in all cases, but I'm just saying in the cases that I know, right? My mother ran the house. My dad beat me by my mother is loud and like, come here. You know, I mean, just manhandled me and I was always in trouble and I was always afraid of her and she dictated everything.

And so I've always chosen women. You know, I mean that run the show that run the show. She runs the show and you know, she yells at me and all kinds of stuff. And I like that. I need that. I don't know how what why, you know, like what these white, you know, these X packs or these white dudes that gets like these like 50 or 19 or like Asian chicks are like from, you know, and they're like 60 year old white dudes and they marry them.

It's like, what the fuck? You know, because their last wives were like nightmares, I think I know two people who did that. And then like they wanted a chain. They wanted the opposite. Oh, like just a just a human fleshlight walking around. I mean, I don't know. I mean, that's what I mean.

It's got you. Well, you can't imagine you're 60 a white dude, unless you were in the military. You had kids of your own, you know, and then all of a sudden you get a divorce and whatnot. And then you're 60 and you you meet a 19-year-old Thai girl from Thailand who barely speaks English. What the fuck are you going to talk to her about? It's also a generational thing though. I feel like our generation of older men aren't going to be doing that same like fetishizing of the Asian woman because just historically it's different.

I mean, you had think about the Vietnam war and what was portrayed in movies at that time. That generation is going to is completely different from ours. I don't think that's going to be perpetuated over time at all because my dad got a woman 36 years younger than him in the Philippines. You know, I'm a product of that's what your mom is. Your mom was. And I was born there, but you know, how old is your mom now? She's 58 now, but my dad would have been in his 90s because he's 36 years older.

So how old was she when he married her? He was 57 and she was 21. Wow. But see from a distance you're thinking, okay, well, that's sort of like a gross, you know, stereotypical rich white guy meets Asian woman, but it was actually much more than that. Were they in love? I think that my mom was coming out of like an intensely abusive marriage with a younger

Swiss man. And my dad was sort of the guy who pulled her out of that and did other a bunch of James Bond type shit. What happened to that Swiss man? I don't know. But that's just the Wild Wild West in the Philippines. He was murdered. My dad didn't murder him.

We don't know. Speculation. But yeah. Stay together till he died. Yeah. And when he had not a dime to his name, she took care of him till the very end and all her friends were like, well, why, like, how much money are you getting at the end? She got nothing.

We had a cockroach infested one bedroom apartment and she stayed with him till the very end. So it's not always like that. Sometimes there is an exchange. Again, it's just one, you know, I'm saying in general, a sample, I'm in general is what I'm saying. Okay. Yeah. You guys, man, it's like, get your shit together, man.

Beyonce. Coachella. Yeah. It's like once you got back. I'm transformed. Coachella. Can I just talk about how to drive to Indio? To Indio?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I get tickets for, you know. You went to Coachella too? No. Check it out. Half.

He was sort of there. So she goes, I want to go to Coachella. That's fine. Go to Coachella. I called CAA. They get me tickets. Wait, CAA can get us Coachella tickets? Yeah.

I did not know that. Yeah. Actually, I would not go there. Yeah. I'm just live streaming it in my kitchen. Yeah. Yeah. I'm the same way.

I'm not going to go. I'm not going to go tonight. So the day, the night before they're going to go, I get an email that I have to be there to get the tickets at Will Call. In Coachella Valley. In Coachella Valley. And I'm like, I mean, the guy from Golden Voice, I go, yeah, but I'm not going. He's like, well, there's no way that you have to go there because you have to be physical.

Well, he did get like, those are probably really hard tickets to get. Right. Yeah. So then I drove into the desert Friday. I drove. You slept. He took a nice long nap. Yeah.

And then you dropped her off. Dropped her off. Yeah. Which is really nice. Got the tickets. You went by yourself? No, with my sister. She met her.

They all met her out there. Yeah. And then I drove all the way back. Aw. That was really sweet. That was one of the nicest things ever. That's really fucking sweet, am I not? Uh-huh.

You should see the anger tears I had, though. Oh, yeah. In the desert driving back. Wait, why? Just had to drive out there. You know what I mean? It wasn't traffic, though, right? It was.

I was driving to the fucking desert. It's only two hours. Four. Total. Yeah. I love Palm Springs. Me, too. We go to the fucking desert.

Where do you stay? Two bunch of palms. I love two bunch of palms. That's the best place. We didn't stay there the last time. That's too expensive. Yeah. It's not that expensive.

We stayed at it much. Well, they've got hot springs. Yeah. Can I just say, I want to talk to you about this. And I just want to get a little closer. Yes, Bobby. The way, I've always, I don't know exactly how you were raised. Like where you grew up.

You know what your parents, yeah. Rockford, Illinois. So you grew up in Rockford, Illinois. It's not a suburb. It's like more like a small town. Town. And what did your parents do? My dad's a used car dealer and my mom was like a secretary.

So you didn't, you didn't, you weren't raised with a lot of money then. No. Right. Because you always, even when we knew you back then, you seemed like you were from the Hamptons. Hamptons. The Hamptons. Hamptons.

The 50s group. The Hamptons. Were you always like that even growing up? No. I just like was overeducated. Like I went, I went to New York for like 10 years or like five years, but I went to college for like 10 years. Like I went to college for way too long.

Right. And then I lived in New York and then I despised where I was from. So I just, and then I was like, you know, in theater. So I just started talking like how they were teaching me to be an actor from like the 1700s. Yeah. Cause you always had that cadence and that vibe about you. Like all my aunts talk like this. Oh, they do.

Yeah. Cause they have that Chicago accent. I've also met your parents before. You met my dad? Dad, yeah. Where? At the store maybe years ago. Yeah.

Yeah. Right? I don't know. I don't remember. Is he alive? Yes. Good. I just, I just thought that maybe, you know, I'm glad he's safe.

But yeah, I just talked, I just came up with a way to talk that was like, you know, just to be. Yeah. Incredible. So the things that we've learned, the things that we've learned, all right. We don't spank. You and I have a baby. Can't spank.

We're not going to spank. Okay. We need to educate the fuck out of them. 10 years. I think that there is something to people that stay in college too long. I think that's actually the way to do it. Wait, what? You think that's good to think there's too long?

Yeah. Cause a lot of these guys, you know, they're 70, 18 when they go to college, they're out by 22. Oh, you're right. And it tends to kind of build that character and I kind of, you know, like the, the, the 10 year plan, I think is the correct plan. Yeah. Steve did a nine year plan.

Look what happened to him. And the colleges I went to were cheap, like city university of New York. It's like 1200 a year or something. Oh, wow. You know, like city, like they're like city university. Right. But then how old were you? So you weren't.

So I moved here when I was like 27 and then I did start a comedy at like 29 when I met you. Oh my God. How old were you when you started comedy? 23. But, um, But when you were younger, did you think that, oh, that's the, that's the trajectory I'm working towards?

No. Or did you just happen on it when you came to LA? Oh, I just like fell into it. I just went to the comedy store to see someone I knew do stand up and I was like, Oh, I didn't know it was this. I could do that. It's incredible. You know, like I thought you had to be like an old man wearing a suit or something.

Yeah. Same thing with Kevin Christie. I, I did a commercial with Kevin Christie, an AMPM commercial. He was the lead and I just, you know, I was, I was his friend in this AMPM commercial. I didn't have a line, but I was still principal. But my point is, is that, and then we, you know, got to, we knew each other and I ran into him. Amoeba and he goes, Hey, I want to come see you perform.

And I go, All right. So he came and then a year later he calls me goes, I think I want to do it. And then he's been doing it. He's great now. He's so good now. But he's one that never really did it. This guy, his very first time killed it. Oh, thanks.

That's awesome. What are we doing time wise? We're over an hour. I can't fucking believe it. How long do you guys usually do? We don't torture people with three hour podcasts. No, no, we do, we do, we do an hour. We do like we struggle with 40 sometimes.

We don't struggle. We just, um, are ADD kids. So it's like, we can't stick to a topic for more than 30 seconds. I mean, there's so much we want. I want to ask her papa. Yeah, I feel like we kind of just like talked about a shit. Kaleila, you're so lucky you get to live with Bobby. He's so entertaining.

I am. You know what? I talked about this spirit. He is around other people and then, you know, he's neurotic. You got to help keep him in check, right? But I, I, but he's so fun. Talking about it. So funny.

Do you, do you are a blessing? You really are. Thank you. Oh my God. I feel so good about it. I'm a blessing guys. And the thing is this, you know, I was going to dive into the whole, you know, that whole thing that we, you know, we went through with the Ari thing, but people have heard of it

too many times. We never really heard Natasha's side. We heard Ari's. We heard Ari's side. We heard Ari's side. Oh, what did he say? They say anything bad about me? No.

Just that you broke his heart. But do you remember that one? I want to make one thing that when he's, you know, wait, so what happened? He punched you in the face or he threatened to punch you in the face. I don't remember. You don't even fucking know. I think he choked him with a telephone cord. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So the first time, right, he hit me from behind and they kicked my face like 18 times. Wait. I don't mean to laugh. He kicked your face. Yeah.

Where I was bleeding from my face. I'm sorry. Oh. I don't know if I forgive you yet. I'm kidding. I'm not kidding. I don't know. Nothing to be sorry about.

You didn't make eye contact with me for three years. I know. Or maybe more. Five years. I know. That was weird. So there was a period where you guys weren't friends. It wasn't that.

It was just that. He just didn't look at me. I just wouldn't look at her. He'd be like, Hey, because you were resentful that you got kicked in the face. No. Um, it was just a weird fucking thing. It's okay. It's okay.

It's not her fault that you got kicked in the face. It's not her fault. And I never really blamed her for anything. That was a little weird when you were, I could see you not talking to Ari, but not talking to me. That's kind of rude. It is rude. But can I tell you why though?

Okay. If you want. I will. I'm going to. Is after the first beating, I asked you, I asked you, can you call him and tell him that I had nothing to do with you and Ron? Call Ari. Yeah.

And you're like, I'm not going to call Ari. But he, I was, but I was getting beat up by him. So I was mad about that. Wait. So he was like beating you up like, like after school, like, you know, like you like, there was a book, like a bully beat up a kid at all the time. Yes. I did not know that.

Yeah. And then a week later, he strangled me to the point where I turned purple and my neck was bleeding. And you guys are friends now? Yeah. And then when we did that comedy central, that was the thing that would. Oh, right. I wouldn't be periodically like splash water in your face.

No, that was her. Remember that one time? I was at the comedy store and all of a sudden I just heard someone say, you don't belong here and throw a drink in my face. Yeah. And then I remember I was with Morgan Murphy and she came out of the bathroom and she. Yeah. Anyway.

But you know who confronted him? Right. Morgan did. No. You know what else did? You? Dove David off and Brian Callen. Well, that was nice.

They both got up, right? And followed him into the fucking the steps that go in the OR and screamed at him. Well, I got scared that he would like throw acid on my face or something. Oh my God. Oh my God. Because he does. I mean, that's a little crazy to start strangling your friend. He threw water in your face.

He strangled me, punched, beat me up. He was going through a fucking time. That guy. But he had your words on his wall. I know. That's what's so crazy about it. That's how crazy it is. Well, you were probably a real idol to him.

Yeah. I think. Or are. Whatever he thought that I did hurt him to the point where it became Shakespearean. You did. You did do it, though. It was it was because of you that we were together. I'm just kidding.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. No, I'm sure he could care less. Do you still talk to Ron? Yeah, sometimes he sometimes tweets at me and stuff like that. Yeah. He's the one though, especially that I just was the one that I turned my back on.

Oh, I see. And I was with him. So that made sense. It's not that. It's just that when he saw you in the belly room that night before even it came up to you, he said to me, he goes, who's that girl? I go, oh, it's my friend Natasha. And he goes, that she's the one.

She's not the one because she's with my friend Ari. I don't care. He goes, I don't care. And then you gave him my number. No, I know you didn't. Natasha, I swear to fucking God. I did it. I said you did it.

All right, good. Nobody cares. So at the end of the thing, what we do is on unhelpful advice. So it's an email that and you can you can give him a good advice or not. Good advice. I'm helpful advice with Bobby Kalala and Natasha Legerro. Howdy. My name is Pepper.

I've been dating my boyfriend for three years. We started dating in college. We met in high school and rekindled when we got back home from the summer. He went to do a go to school at a different university. So we have been long distance for a duration of our relationship. We graduated a year ago and lived in the same city for three months before he moved back to Chicago for work. I live in Houston. We love each other and are okay at long distance, but we have our week moments.

I thought we would move in together after graduating, but we had, but he had a job and I had a different job in another state. We don't have any final date set to eventually move in together and start our lives, which I know you all talked about being the most important attribute of a long distance relationship. By the way, I'm 24 and he is 23. I guess what I'm trying to ask is how do I deal with the emotionally draining aspect of the relationship while maintaining a healthy relationship? What's the next step? Love you guys so much. Leave him. Yeah, I think you need to like get around.

I totally agree. Please you're 24. Please get around. Yeah. 24 years. Don't come in. And then if he wants to chase you and really make it happen, then he can, but he's not even, you know, he doesn't seem like he's making decisions based on your love. Right?

He's like, this one right here, Kalaila. I know probably 10 dudes you dated before she met me. Wow. There's probably even more. 10 is a very low number. I know, but probably more. I'm just off hand. I can rattle them off.

Even with this one right here, Natasha, this wife. Yeah, yeah. GW. I was 6% Sub-Saharan Africa when I did my DNA test. That's fucking crazy. I'm not all white. All right. I resent being called a wife.

I'm so sorry. That's okay. But I know probably five guys she dated. Right? And you know 10 that Kalaila dated? Yeah. My point is, is that, and now, you know, Kalaila's with Mosha and I collapse. Natasha.

Sorry about that. Natasha's with Mosha and she's with me, right? Yeah. And so I just would, you know, to her, I wouldn't want to say go live. Yeah. Because you had. I thought all 23 year olds were Polly. I know, right?

It's a girl, right? Girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That just means that they're lesbians, right? Like a girl who's like on Polly a lot of times that means that she wants to like have sex with women, even though she's in a male, the relationship with a male. I'm not sure. Like 23, 24, didn't we all sort of, you know, want to jump in the window?

You never did that? No. I missed the window for like, you know, drug use too. There's no way it's nothing. There's nothing cool about 30 something like trying out drugs for the first time. But I think that this girl, whatever her name is, what's her name? Pepper. Pepper.

I think that Pepper should see other people do her own thing. And if it's meant to be, it'll come back around and it'll be a cuter story then. Oh, you know, we once dated and then I fucked around for a long period and then we got back together. Yeah. Yeah. Classic story. How romantic.

Romcom. Honestly, you have to fuck around. You really do. Because my mind wanders and my mind, I'll tell you about my mind. If I hadn't been with a lot of women, if I was with Kaleila, in my mind would go, what would it be like with this kind of, but I've tapped, you know, all different kinds. Tapped. All right.

So I've been tapping trees to get different sap. I like that one. That's basically what I was saying. Okay. I wasn't being crude. All right. So I've been tapping trees and I know which one I like the most. Sap is the best.

Maple syrup. Maple sap. Right here. Right there. Maple. She's maple. So my point is, is this, is that your mind's going to wander, baby, Pepper, baby Pepper, and you have to.

Baby Pepper. Baby Pepper, you have to experiment. And you know what, guys? I run a statistic, there's one out of every 30 million people are compatible with each other on earth. One out of 30 million? Yeah. How the fuck, how is compatibility even measured?

Cause I feel like some people are just tolerant of like shitty people and they just stay with them. No, no, no. Everyone's, I read somewhere that that's the thing. What is true compatibility? How is that measured? Lifeline partner. That you can convince, you can, if the circumstances are right, there's 30 million

people out there that you can live with and, and have a life with. I feel like there's, that's a, I feel like I could live with a lot of people. Like my ex-boyfriend was a kind, great person. I probably, if, if I was feeling a little lazy, I would have been like, you know, I could stay in this forever. I wish I could hook up with 30 million people. Yeah. Me too.

And go, Kolyla's the one out of the 30 million. Imagine fucking 30 million people. There's so many people. But I do think it depends on the person's like personality. Yeah. What do you mean? Like, I, like, I'm very tolerant. I feel like maybe the 30 million thing would be right for me, but I think maybe other people.

Well, I think circumstances to have a play in it, for instance, like, you know, Mosha is one of the 30 million on earth, right? But it, he's also a comic. He lives in LA, right? You guys cross the same paths, you have the same likes and whatnot. But the thing is, is that if you were a plumber, right, and you were living in Houston and you were working for a plumbing company, firm, right, you might meet Bubba, who is much, is Houston's Mosha.

And you would be able to be the plumber and you might be able to like, stay with him. It's just circumstances. I hear you. Yeah. But in terms of you got, there are people out there that you're compatible with though. I believe that. Do you believe that? Yeah.

Yeah. I made it up. You're so full of shit. 30 million. I know, but I'm pretty fucking good. How good am I though? That was pretty good. Yeah.

That's pretty good. I mean, I just figured you read some dumb information. No, it's not dumb. Because I made it up. It's just, yeah. All right. Am I, was that good? It was good.

I was trying to look for it. I couldn't find anything. Exactly. You know why you couldn't find it? Why? Because I made it up. I know. I'm a genius.

Well, let's give Natasha a round of applause. Do you want to, is there anything you want to applaud? Yes. Yes. Do you want to applaud now? It's streaming on Netflix. I do a half hour, Moshe Kasher. My husband does a half hour, and then we are joined.

It's a three-part special. And then the last half hour, we do live relationship counseling to people in the crowd. You guys would have been a great specimen. Oh, that would be great. Does this look like it might work out? Yes, of course. Thank you. And, but it really, we just kind of roasted the people.

We would roast you guys probably. Yes. Oh, we would love that. We would all roast Bobby. Yeah. No, roast, you know what? I would love that. I would love to get like an outsider's perspective, but specifically like their perspective.

All right. I'm very excited about this podcast. This one right here? Yeah. This one right here. I've heard so many people talk about it. No, but no, everyone, listen, a lot of people want to do it. Okay.

And this is what I feel good about. It's kind of exclusive. Do you have someone every week or no? No. You guys just talk? Every other week, yeah. So we do, you know. On and off.

And we only have this caliber on. Really? I mean, we've had James Vanderbeek. Oscar winning. George repeal. And we've had a lot of people. Stone Street. Mike Rosenbaum.

Eric Stone Street. You know, some good ones, but you're, I got to get motion on here too. You'll do it, right? Of course. Okay. Give Natasha a round of applause. Any road dates? Yeah, any road dates?

Road dates. I can't do the road. I have a newborn. That's true. I'm happy. Ontario improv. Kalyla, do you go with him? Not so much anymore.

I feel like in the beginning he used to want to take me on the road. Can you go to this one? Can you go to this one? Because I have some things I need to deal with in Ontario. Now I just go for protection. Like if anyone chooses, like wants to body slam him during his act, which happens often, then I'm just like, you know, don't do it. Please talk.

That's what I'm there for. Yeah, I love him. What's your favorite club? I don't know, I guess. You play the Denver Comedy Works? Yeah, Denver, probably. I love that. I just did it.

I do it every other year. It's so good. That one's really good. Parlor Live in Seattle. Do you do that one? Yeah, that was good. Bellevue? I think so.

Portland. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like helium there? Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. It's great. San Francisco. Punchline.

I'm just naming cities. Yeah, those are the ones she goes to. Those are the only ones I go to. Yeah, she'll go to the ones cities that she likes. Pacific Northwest and like San Francisco. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I'm like, I'm going to be in... Love it.

I'm trying to go to Philadelphia. Yeah. I mean, I would. Do you play that helium? Yes. Yeah, me too. Good. I like that guy.

Anyone more time for the introduction? Michelle Falls on Instagram at Tiger Belly. Twitter at The Tiger Belly. I can follow you guys on Instagram. Yeah. Natasha, what is your handle? Natasha Leggero. My name.

Follow her. Type her name in all social media. You can email us any questions. Yeah, I have one last thing. Yep. I have one last thing. You guys, one last thing. What are you guys?

So, our ratings... Just hear me out. Our ratings aren't spilling up together. Every week it's lower and lower. Your ratings? For the show I'm on. I'm on a show. Oh, God.

But all ratings are low because... There's natural. I know. Because no one's watching scheduled television. I understand that. What show are you on? Splitting up together. It's an ABC show.

But the ratings are still good. You're still winning your time slot. Winner's time slot. But we just need you on Tuesday. Just watch this Tuesday or the next Tuesday, wherever this comes out. Yeah. And then... We need a yard.

So, please watch the show. Yeah. Then I think they'll get picked up in the next week or two. Woo! So, watch the show, guys. And also, email us any questions at thetigerbellyatgmail.com. And make sure you get your mattress on. The mattress that Bobby loves to sleep on.

Lisa.com slash... Lisa is the best mattress in the world. Lisa.com slash Belly. Have a good one, guys. Bye. Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Tigerbelly ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today.

Or you can listen ad-free with Wondri Plus in Apple Podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondri.com slash survey.