TigerBelly - Episode 148: Adam Ray is Our Neighbor

Episode Date: June 27, 2018

Adam has Adamantium. Bobo is a cooler. We talk 711 boner pills, Mr. Atsuki, a third string Wolverine, and the attack of the bushes.Support us by supporting our sponsors! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Hey Five four three two one to be won't you be Won't you be won't you be Won't you be Won't you be please won't you be Welcome to another episode of Tiger Belly. I'm Bob captain supreme Leader yours for sure. Why is there a barking get in here lipless?

This fucking lipless cameraman. We have here Jason's back in town. Thank you, you know, hello, sir Your butthole must be just a slit You know me because every opening right if you have lipless like this guy right here, right? He has no front upper or bottom right so his butthole might not have the actual rectal muscle It might just be a slit. Oh, wow, you know and his poo is this like Yeah, yeah, yeah, your farts are queefs just sounds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, your farts are queefs and that's strange But I like it makes you different and it stands out in the crowd Okay, so won't you be okay start over because you interrupt with me. No, I'm Bob captain cult leader

but also your friend and your neighbor and And we I want to introduce to people in the rooms. We've got George wearing his Argentinian Soccer Jersey, you're not Argentinian, but you're what you're white from the farms You're white from the farms, and I know where you're from and it's dumb Well, you're doing is dumb and I don't like it. We got Gilbert. What's up? Wow? Cool. What's up? What's up, man? What's up, dog? What's up, neighbor? What's up? Yeah, yeah, I believe it didn't say it. We got Kalyla Cune, you know my beautiful princess. She too is a part of it

It's just a part of me. He's an extension of me Me too, and we got lip-less and we have a very special guest today and this guest I don't know man. I have feelings about him good and bad. I really do. He like irritates me, but then I also like him Hmm. His name is Adam Ray. Give him a round of applause. Everybody's coming in. How are you? I'm great, buddy. So Adam Ray. I love your rendition of the Misser Rogers thing. It's not our rendition. It's dead on. Oh, that was the word for word? Yeah, it's word for word. It's done. Okay, and that's ridiculous that you even started off that way Did you have a Korean Misser Rogers growing up or did you have the regular one? Yeah, Yatsuko Right, but he never put his shoes on because it's inside the house

You know what I mean? He came in. Yeah, right. He went into the closet got his kimono. Yeah, right and then the fish Yeah, it's fish tank. Yeah, all that. Yeah, but they were already wrapped. So the fish. Yeah, they were already skinned They're in the thing right but the rice and the seaweed wrapped around them. Oh, so you can eat them Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, when the guests come over. Oh, wow. Yeah, and then He would go to take the train but wasn't a train. What was it futuristic like he was like a future with no rail Techno music. Yeah. Yeah, it was like one of those trains with no rails is future. Oh, it's magnetic, right? Yeah, and he would go to Never never never never never never ran It would be good never never I've always wanted to go there. Yeah. Yeah, so mr.

Ratsuki it was a different kind of show. Yeah, but it was kind of is based on mr. Rogers But instead of mr. McFeely, who did he have who was his like male guy mr. Rick Furrier? We didn't have anyone in the Philippines like that, too So when I had to learn who mr. Rogers was yeah, and I felt really stupid when I didn't I didn't even know what the cabbage patch Dolls or kids. Yeah kids. Basically what you're saying. Yeah, is you weren't a part of the world You weren't a part of the world I came out of the cave at about 15, but we did have someone somebody maybe equally as endearing as mr. Rogers His name was Kuiya germs

Love him. Tell me about him. Yeah He did this variety show called that's entertainment. Yeah, it's just like a knockoff of like the original that's That's how you know the show isn't good if he has to tell you like Yeah, that was funny that was supposed to be funny But that's still a big thing in the Philippines variety show all right, it's still we still do the whole Sheepish show you can do what's like there? What was the go-to bit on that's entertainment like where they close the show with every like one thing that was like All right guys. It's time for the you know

I think they did some like I should say I'm very good at accents Yeah, but but Kuiya germs was was a sweet man Kuiya germs who yeah older brother and germs Kui as in Germs. Yeah, because her his real name is Herman a Kerman. Yeah, yeah, so it's Kuiya germs Yeah, Filipinos just butcher every good name out there. Yeah, but what set it apart from it was just a regular variety show Yeah, but he was beloved. He was the only beloved person. I can think test it Focus like high numbers. Yeah, high numbers. So um Adam and I I rarely rarely do I go watch movies with comedians I've done it like three times in my life

So Adam good. Hey you a a Let's watch mr. Rogers Like the way he sounds, right? Who's this? That's pretty good. Hey, it's me. All right. Hey, come on. Hey, come on. Hey, that guy was a big part of my childhood Dr. Astuki This movie's not out yet. So let's go see the other one So we watch it and everyone like the trailer if you've seen the trailer it's like powerful the most powerful I I mean it rivals the Avengers the Godzilla trailer

Remember the one the Brian Cranston. Oh, yeah, that was a great trailer was the movie sucked. It was okay It was okay. The movie was okay, but it didn't It live up to the trailer, right? So this trailer was just like that. It was just like wow And what what does that trailer have to do for you to make you a want to go see the movie? But a like to feel how you're feeling about the trailer right now like you're well obviously hiked up on it Well, what the trailer did was it gives you hope. Yeah, right? I mean you're like the trailer Yeah, so it is a movie. Yes, but it's rare for a trailer to do that Yeah, but that almost the trailer in itself because it's so condensed. It just was more impactful

Yeah, okay, that's true because I didn't know who mr. Rogers was and I cried when I watched the trailer Yeah, so I think that the way it was just put together and the kind of feeling that it brought out of you was very like Like oh, yeah, I get it the movie though is great. Yeah, it's wonderful It's unbelievable, but as watching it as a comic, right? You just have I mean I would you I saw you well up Oh, did you see me well up at all? Yeah, well, I heard you Bobby's crying is Yeah, but but in the whimpering but like also I mean when we sat down you go I need a space in between us because I don't want to we can't cry next to each other

Yes, we didn't want to hear didn't sit next to each other. No, I love the space like I need a space for my tears Yeah, and because the last time I did that with Adam Aaron Cater Mm-hmm. I went and watched a Korean movie with Aaron Cater was about the Korean War. It's called technology It was about two brothers in the Korean War It was so emotional That I sat next to him and he could see the snot bubbles coming out of my nose in the darkness of the theater You can hear a pop You know I mean, do you try to hold your cry in or do you know?

I'll let that one go. Yeah. Yeah, cuz I try to hold it as long as possible And then it just then I let out like a very joey whimper where it's just like yeah, yeah Yeah But it was yeah, yeah, he I didn't realize well the backstory was incredible on how we even got into like saying his senior year of Preacher school, right? Yeah, like fuck it. I'm gonna be in TV. I mean, I'm paraphrasing. He didn't say that. Yeah He didn't say they didn't go to my dad. Fuck it. I'm gonna be in TV. Yeah, you know, he genuinely he genuinely Loved children not in the way some of us do. I know, okay He genuinely loved them and and TV is a tool like he cared about their development. Yes, and he and he wanted to

Encourage them to get out of their shells and he would say things like I like you just the way you are Yeah, right. That's one of his terms. I know it's sweet or Entertainment Yeah, and he had a little puppet of the little the little fucking cat thing Yeah, yeah, meow meow or something which uses like kind of his alter ego alter ego But people were saying that's really him, right the guy in the puppet. Yeah And remember what he would get angry King Friday the 13th was his other alter ego Yeah, but the puppet was his him as a kid and the public go was I mistake? Oh

You know and then some other lady would be like no, you're not a mistake, you know, but can I just say this some people are mistakes I met some very questionable people that I'm like, how are you outside by yourself right now? Yeah, so when you're watching you're like, I get what he's doing Yeah, you're right trying to encourage everyone saying that everyone's meant to be here Yeah, and everyone has their purpose. Yeah, I want you to have but that's not really the reality I think the reality is there are some people that should have been aborted Well, if you stick around for the end of the movie, he does Come out the credit goes now. I just want to say that I do care about all kids

But some of you can go fuck yourself. Yeah. No, was that too much? I Don't think that was I don't think that was too much. I think that was your point is look your wording might be Everyone should be alive. I think so but not everyone is like, you know special I think not I think everyone's got something great inside of them Your guy's kid show Look some of you are supposed to be aborted and I go Some yeah and look some but also but me but also yeah, look Jacob There's been some things you've done today. That's shot up right the Florida school. Yeah, right?

Is he that kid? We don't need that special. No, but also Mr. Rogers would have should have said was he nurtured He had Mr. Rogers in his life to tell him like hey But did anybody in his life that told him that he was that he had something special inside of him? Because I think a lot of these kids that do go down the wrong path are coming up in environments where they have no nurturing and no encouraging thoughts or and and as simple as it is as mr. Rogers being like I like you just the way you are like No, but like these shooters are probably getting like oh, I like nothing about you and you're like and they're not getting any redeeming qualities Shined

Upon them like you know for them to to acknowledge like oh cool Maybe I'm maybe I have something to offer the world if you feel like that if you feel like you don't have anything to offer then Of course, you're gonna want to like lash out Yeah, but it is a little bit dangerous to Tell every single person on this world that they are unique and special until they become Because then it turns into this type of entitlement Yeah, yeah, sometimes people forget that you're you're just part of the masses and you grind it out You try your best to be a good person

It's about Baby, thank you so much. That was also the clear. Yes. That was what was the very sweet like yeah That's kind of see both sides this like let's word it a little softer. You were just the very dude version of just like I'm just gonna tell you how right and let me say this to What cuz he was in my life If you know what did you grow up with them? Oh, yeah, so I remember that episode with the kid in the the wheelchair that came out that wrote to him that like one of his last wishes was like To meet mr. Rogers and then not only is mr. Rogers meet him

He brings him in on an episode and sings a song to him I remember that moment that was a little he was like he's like it doesn't matter that your arms don't work And then the kid yeah, yeah Here's when I lost it like he's talking literally like singing this in like we're like and it's so cool that you're here right now And the kids like you're great And then he goes and then he just of the piano starts playing and he starts singing and then the kid They definitely didn't rehearse this song the kid just starts singing a staple mr. Rogers song like it's a it's like he was singing Living on a prayer and the kid just knew the words

Start singing like his go-to like I like you just the way you are and the kid starts singing it I fucking oh, yeah, I lost that's when I heard that's when I was like He's a great guy, and you're like fuck, you know Seat cuz I want people to listen I'm not saying that I'm cynical and I didn't enjoy the mute I enjoyed the movie immensely, but there are pockets where you question like what good did it do? You know you think it did well it did more good than bad. I think for yeah That's a thing because I wish I would have showed more people like they had that one scene

That woman came up to him and was just like yeah that you changed my life Like I and you could see how good of a person she was in a momentary exchange And she was just like you affected me so much So she said you know I my parents were around so I watched you know your show and you raised me you are my childhood And she was meeting him, you know for the first time. It's like I just can't thank you so much Yeah, and she hugs him and he's you know and he goes get off me no no And he was a great guy and he was and he and I love seeing the human moments of him too That's what I love about documentaries when you get to see you know

It's why people love podcasts to get an extra layer of insight into like how comedians are but like getting to see him Like during the filming of the show like break or laugh or at one point He puts on his shoes and they gave him like the wrong shoes and so he's putting them on and they don't fit and he just starts cracking up He's like you guys. Yeah. Yeah, these are their shoes and he wasn't anal or like weird like there was a guy You know a lot of the camera man in the grips. They were all like working class. Yeah, you know guys tattoos guys, right? And there was a camera laying around and one of the guys took a photo of his ass Remember and then like you know six months later or whatever they get him developed and you know He forgets about it the guy that took the photo and for Christmas. Mr. Rogers blew it up and gave him the photo of

You know, so he was like a funny. Yeah, I have a guy, you know, it's pretty cool. Yeah, but um You know, but there was also thoughts of like when you're watching you just think yourself You know what you who should have the show Jerry Sundeski How would I hold that? I mean I don't know if there'd be puppets. Oh, there would be puppets. Yeah, he'd be controlling with his dick What do you do different voices? Well, if it's yeah, yeah, yeah You showed me the trailer of that other movie where they had the three identical twins. Oh, that was another. Oh, yeah

That was one of those amazing cases of seeing a movie and you see the trailer and you're like well now I want to see that movie, you know, okay, so the short the synopsis is that a Kid walks into college and everyone's saying hey Jerry. What's up, Jerry? And he was like the fuck is Jerry right and it turns out he has an identical twin That goes to that same college, but he doesn't know he has one. They had been separated at birth To further complicated. So now so now now right there on you know, they do a newspaper article Yeah, yeah another guy looks at it and go he looks just these two look just like me Yeah, so it's now three brothers identical twins and they they're they can't they're not they can't separate

I'm like pasty's basically, but then things start to unravel. Yeah, that's the trailer of the dog So that's that looked great What would you do if you walk into a place and all of a sudden you meet an exact just as funny just as talented version of yourself I kill him. Yeah I love you, but I hate you or our imagine two other nosotrus papaya at slept Kings Right imagine three of us. Yeah, and we had a podcast There's your hook God. That's a good hook. Nobody else has that and not only that it would be it We would be banned for life the things we wouldn't edit each other and we would just like add on to each other

Yeah, I might get annoying right you're stepping on each other sentences. Yeah, you know, that's a faggot. Oh, yeah faggot and then like all of a sudden there's no The go-to for your How pissed or jealous I think Steve would be if he all of a sudden you had to identical brother best friend That's a great question. I think Steve would enjoy it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because there's no way I mean sure they they're identical and maybe they have sort of similar personality traits But there could be one brother that like listens to my brother in a in a specific way that I don't yeah Right or another brother that helps my brother in a certain way that I don't or that knows more about back basketball like yeah, like my brother like

Give it to the man man who put in this the bucket hoop, you know, like it's so weird that you would even bring up basketball and segue Into your own bullshit I'm not saying to my bullshit. No, you know what you ladies and gentlemen know what I love about I want to I want you listeners to know how you talk to me about basketball is one of my favorite things It doesn't matter. Don't segue into that a bit. That's all I want to say when I'm saying to you I'm segue into this. I think it's a funny thing. I don't know if you're listening to talk about Instagram pot. I'll ask yesterday Adam Ray, let me talk about Adam Ray. I don't want to talk about this. Why no, we can't I'm joking I just wanted to give you I'm gonna say this though and I'm gonna Adam Ray is a fancy fucker

What do you mean by fancy? Oh, well, first of all his podcast, right? Who is who who's your guest? Who have we had on Sandra Bullock just sat on center bulk of it on Jason Drulo Dana Carvey. You've had Susan Serendon Bob Saggett We can get Saggett right Neil Patrick Harris We can't get Susan Serendon. We can't get Susan or Sandra Bullock This that's not that that's right there. It's not right there. Stop that list. So yesterday you were at the basketball convention. What was it? The the NBA awards, it's like the Oscars fancy, right? You were there with your another fancy friend of yours a very close friend of yours. Yeah, Adam divine. Yeah, also not fancy I mean like gets to do cool shit because of yeah, you know, you get to do cool shit

I like Adam a lot. It's a great dude, but can I just say this? Yeah, and I'm gonna say this out loud. Yeah, yeah, um, He would I don't think he would I mean I've always wanted to work with him. Yeah, I don't think that he would ever And it hurts. I disagree. We just had a conversation about you today when I said I was coming over to do the podcast Yeah, that's great that you would even do that and that's why you're a good guy. Yeah, you know why you're a good guy I'm serious What you're doing remember when I told you about Paul Figue when you were like I fucked it up with Paul Figue And then I was doing this pilot with him and I brought that up to Paul and Paul was like completely explained the story and was like How Bobby misread it and then Paul goes I love Bobby. What is wrong?

Paul goes I'm trying to find something to work with the Bobby and Bobby that what's wrong with me And I went out of my way to tell him because I'm like do you understand one of the biggest comic directors thinks you the shit And he was like I thought he fucking hated me because I screwed up this dinner or whatever and it was completely ass-backwards Yeah, but we all do that. We all like go ahead and defend me. Yeah. Oh, it wasn't a defense. Oh, yeah. He has slammed me. It was an agreement. He has slammed us up king. Go ahead. Yeah, I think that part of your thinking that people hate you is tied into your Narcissism you think that people actually stop to think about you much more than they actually do Are you looking to a mirror? That's not there. Are you looking at the camera? That's what you see. You hear what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah for sure. It's a part of my bit though

It's a part of my yeah, but when does one of the lines get blurred? There's never lines and there are no blurring I don't know what it is. All right It is just the fabric of my own being Yeah, but when you say like Adam doesn't want to work with you. Why do you you created that somehow based on my head because I I'll tell you how I can tell you why it was like a weird. No, it was this. It's like if I had that beach house thing I'm doing its house party. Yeah house party. Yeah, I called my agent. I said I want to be on that He's like you're not gonna get on that, but it was a stand-up show for like up-and-coming comments I know but I wanted to be on it. Did you do it? Yeah, cuz I was up and coming

I hadn't been some other people that were on the up-and-coming like who I don't remember Now you pretty established at that point you you I can't do it. You couldn't have been on it No, that's a straight up. That's that doesn't make it if you're producing what I do it. Fuck. Yeah, you do anything There we go. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, but but he didn't go on the road and open for you I know I have a great friendship and get you a pain I know you did open for me. You were all my strongest openers. Thank you. When did you guys first meet? Oh? It's a comedy store. I just started coming around more cuz I was dipping one foot into improv and schedule and wanted to stand up and then when a girlfriend Was living we went to college together then she moved to New York

To be a page in the NBC program So we're doing long distance and then she moved to Reno to be a news reporter and then fucked a camera guy And I was like, I think that's it. I was like, I think that's a good sign. I'm gonna go ahead Yeah, I'm done, you know, and I even made jokes. I was like, did he shoot you did he shoot you his stories in your face? And she's like, why would you say that? I don't know how to handle this Or did you find I flew to Reno? We were gonna drive to San Francisco to do Thanksgiving and and we were already kind of having a Rocky patch, but it was like, you know, we're gonna go have Thanksgiving with a family And it'll be great and her dad plays the French horn and he'll probably you know

And so we we sit down and then she just pulls out a letter and she starts she starts crying. Why I'm getting to it Okay, the letter and she starts crying and I go, are you been working on some short stories? Trying to make a joke about what's happening and yeah avoid the obvious and then she just goes No, wait, and I was like, did you just see the mr. Rogers trailer like why you crying? She's like, well, well, we've been separated I just I just I just remember Jeff the camera guy. I was like, did you fall down? She was like And I was like, did you suck his dick? Okay, yeah I didn't want to know these quite like it's such a weird. Yeah, you don't want to know anything

But I also know I'm like, I gotta know everything what happened and then and then we drove I go drive me to the airport in San Fran and then go home from there because she was just sobbing You were done. What'd you do? Yeah, that was a good. Yeah, because I don't have that I couldn't have I don't have that kind of jealousy What do you mean? Someone cheated on you. No, they were broken up already, right? No Oh, we were in a we had we had gotten in a rough patch and we had taken maybe about two weeks off That's what he's saying. Yeah, two weeks. Do you have a letter? Was she gonna read a letter? That's what she's doing. She just wanted to have a boss right now. It wasn't completely called off

It wasn't at all, right? So it also she did you know where we've been? Oh, well, then that's yeah, then that's yeah It was like a two-week break, but it wasn't a two-week break being like and if you fucking get some camera guy, yeah, that's I don't mean suck his dick, you know, yeah It was uh, and and so then that was that and then I jumped in to stand up fully so I started being around the comic store more and Uh, and then I remember doing a set this is where I was doing it Maybe twice a month and I was upstairs in the belly room and Bobby Was up there and you know, he's just so like so

Great about like seeing people and if you see somebody likes he'll stop you and say something to you and say that again Bobby's so great about uh First of all hanging around for a little bit and watching other comics and he would float around in the rooms And he was upstairs in the belly room and he saw me and then and I had a good set So he pulls over he goes, how come I haven't seen you before and I was like, oh I only come around a couple times a month because I just I've been one fifty one foot out my girlfriend fucked the camera guy He's like that's not what I asked like how come I haven't seen you know I was giving too much information right out of the gate and he's like you're really funny

He's like could you follow me downstairs in the original room if right now for 20 minutes if I brought you down there And you know like you don't want to be like I don't think I'm ready yet I just I think I need to work on so I was just like fuck yeah, I could you know So he goes come on so he walks downstairs He goes to Tommy the booker and he's like Tommy put uh this guy up after me and uh and Tommy's like well I think he's gonna be around more and he's gotta like which was the right move because I would have Tanked but also would have been great for me and I did that that's ridiculous Yeah, and then Tommy goes and then Tommy goes I have seen him around

But he needs to be around more like he needs to hang on the Sunday money open mics Yeah, and then you suggested maybe you should try to like work there Just because you'll get more spots and whatever and I at that point had no reason to not jump in fully because you know When you first started stand up there, did you work there? Yeah, I did the phones on Fridays I didn't want to do like the door of the parking lot. I just I don't know why I was uh I just wanted to but I wanted to be around and and have a way to Communicate because a lot of comments would call for avails And it was a way that I could actually like chum them up a little bit on the phone and the later that night be like hey

What's up, man? Oh, yeah, it's the best. I mean if you're a new comment. It's the best way Wasn't valuable get into The um our eyesight. Yeah, because when you're there all the time like I'm bringing What's this a song to sign Antonio this weekend? Oh, cool. I've never seen him, but he does the parking lot. Yeah Everyone says he's good. Yeah. He's a nice guy. Yes, and he's just there. Yeah, right? So I have a side out of mind, right? That's a real other side out of mind. Yeah. I mean, they're just there. So I wouldn't you I used will Burkhardt, but through a You know what word I'm not word of mouth But um with Brent morn and Jason Collins speaking highly of him, but that's rare most of my guys are from the comedy store

Yeah, you told me a week after that You're like I have I think Kevin Christie I couldn't do a college gig and you're like if he can't go you're do you want to come? And I just was like I immediately was out the one in North Carolina There's North Carolina Somebody I think nick went and somebody something happened. All right, then you said but I'm gonna find something else So you like what y'all see didn't have to do and then I think the more I was around and then you and then you You have to see me more, you know, and then uh, but you did fuck me a couple of times, huh?

I lost $6,000 because of you you rock Bobby No, you remember I do remember. Yeah, I had met a girl. I was in a hotel room I'd met a girl this in Fort Lauderdale. Yeah. Yeah, and I got you know the story don't question I think the details are kind of coming back. What? Um, we well by the way, this was right We should mention this is I think after before we went to 7-eleven Bobby does this great thing on the road with you, too Where he I don't know if it's a called taking advantage of his power. Is that the way is that the right way to word it

Sounds about where he would tackle me in the green room and the host is like welcome to the stage Adam Ray And he's literally this in Kansas City Literally holding me down on the ground and laughing And the and Adam Ray and people are coming and then it stops and the host is like, are you boat? Are you back there? Are you okay? And Bobby's just laughing and then finally had to punch him to get me off him. Yeah. Yeah, or he's like eight These 20 oysters. I'm like, I hate oysters I might be allergic. He's like, do you want to go to phoenix next weekend? I love these oysters. Yeah, and so uh, our moves and so at one point, uh, he goes, let's take these. Um, what were they?

Um, the the pills that they sell at 7-eleven over the counter to get your dick hard Oh, just like uh Pills, no, but they're just kind of like cheap ones. Yeah, those cheap. Yeah. Yeah. So how many did we take? Man, I don't two or three. Yeah, two or three. Yeah Didn't you give me a viagra? Not viagra. Yeah, well, no, that was the first time I've ever taken that It was the worst night of my life. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and uh, so anyway, so then I'm I'm with this, uh, girl that I met And uh, in the hotel room, and I think the phone must have been off but bobby had won $6,000 but didn't have his ID didn't have his ID. So you then he said

You said it was like my Like these are my friends. What did you say? No, this is what happened. So I sit there and I I'm playing slots. I love slots. Yeah, you do right. Is that a is that like a uh, because I always see like old korean ladies playing slots Is that like a Are you saying that i'm a old korean lady? Sometimes you look like one when you're playing You definitely have the hunch over and that you know what it is I like the repetition of it and I also like, you know, people go there's no skill, you know, and there is skill

Please tell it's i'll tell you the skill the skill is finding the machine that's ready to pop And it's a gut instinct you mean guessing It's no it's an instinct Not guessing instinctual So like if you see someone writing out a machine for a while and then they get up to leave with like some sort of like Uh, I guess it's not my day like you go. This is where I swoop in like yeah, I do that or what I do is Sometimes I'll look at a machine. Yeah, see what they ended on if they ended on like a big win I won't play it because you know that that big one is probably gonna happen. Yeah, I happen for a bit

Right, so I do little things like that, but it's also just You know, if I see anything asian Stay away from it. Yes. Why I've never won on any Asian cancels each other out Like, you know, if there's like if you get three pandas, you'll win a million dollars. There's no way I'll never get I don't even get one panda. No, you know, I always do the ones that people it doesn't look like people play You know, I mean like the themed ones like a willy wonk in the chocolate. No those ones. Yeah, those big like I played the game of thrones one a couple weeks ago. What's that? You we're gonna get to that in a second. Oh, you know what? Fuck you rat. Fuck. We're gonna. Okay, write that down

I have so many things I want to talk to you about. Yeah, but um, so anyway, the thing goes off, right? And it's sirens when that happens people freak out. Yeah, but I didn't freak out. I was worried Because I knew my license was expired And they checked that right so before the person got there I was calling you to get to next to me to go this guy won Oh, right so that we could get the fucking money So I kept calling calling and it was taking a while for the lady to get there Yeah, so there's plenty of time for me to there was like a 10 minute window

That seems a little long probably four. No 10. Okay. Yeah For the story 10. Yeah Yeah, for the story 10 could have been 10 play but point being plenty of time for me to pick up Well, I mean, I think you the club is near. Yeah, I know that you're in the building. Yeah Well, you know was attached to the hotel. So I mean, I could have gotten down so plenty of time to write but you didn't Yeah, so then the lady goes, I'm sorry, sir. Your license expired I go, but I want $6,000 She goes, I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do

Couldn't they verify your information any other way like why I call the owner of the passport Cop, is he copy of your passport? I called so I suggested you could have done that, right? You could have like no, what they told me too was you got to fly to LA Get the passport you got to physically see one and then fly it back. It's not worth it And I'm like, I'm that's gonna cost me the I have a question. So you could have theoretically held the $6,000 there spend $500 to go fly back and forth And then reclaimed your money. Yeah, that's not worth it to me. You could have should have sent him

Or I could have sent my brother over. Yeah And then give him like a thousand dollars a thousand each at the time. I didn't know where it was Oh, I knew it was in the house, but then they would you know, maybe there's so many different I never know what you know that But anyway, so that's you'll miss it. But anyway Last time we were in Fort Lauderdale. Yeah, um, I probably spent Three hours trying to win all the money that you lost. I don't remember. I think he was like, he's so good $3,500 down and I was sweating so hard. I was like, wait, that's too much money. How did you lose that in six minutes?

I was just that's why I don't play blackjack. No, I play double down on like if I got a two and a five I double down Every time go fish like it's a wrong game Craps is so fun because the superstition level at least for me I've only played like 10 times but like there's always some sort of Weird collective chant with strangers or like maybe in some buddies We end up like we were breathing on the back of this like old Pakistani man's neck because we did as a joke Like we're all blowing on him and we're like good luck, man, and then he kept winning. So he's like, please do not forget

Because he also like he was like I I'm winning But that's very patient I did and I won all his money back and he would when I win it back. I'm done. I'm out of there I'm not trying to win more. So you have restraint. Yeah, I really do practice restraint He was yelling at me to play more and I was like, no, I'm done. Good move. Yeah, it's I mean, it's so tough. I mean, that's That's gambling, right? That's why people end up like Being up 50 grand and then down 500. Yeah I mean, that's probably happened, right? What do you think the most somebody has gone and been up and then just had a complete

180 well when I went would dice that when I was a kid younger Andrew dice clay took me to Vegas. Whoa, and he lost $750,000. Oh In front of me and then he told everyone Is it because he won it and you went around and he was like my idea is not expired. Trust me Well, what happened was I was working the back door Right and I barely knew him And he walks he goes he used to call me ching. I haven't told this story before. Yeah, he goes ching I go, yeah

Because get in the car Jesus How come I'm working? I told him We're going to vegas I'm in my comedy store t-shirt We fly to vegas and we're in first class. Awesome flies our first class. Yeah, so a group on southwest. What a group. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm um I think I'm like 26 years old In just 20 years had you been to vegas?

No, oh, yeah one time. Okay one time with paulie I And he's lost all that money What do you say? Do you remember is what he looked like at the end? He's he said that to other people that I was bad luck You're cooler. I'm a cooler. Damn, which maybe I am. No. I think that's No Another thing that you did back then when I met you was you worked at universal tell them what you did Okay, so my day job when I first got out here. I got a job as a tour guide on the back lot to her first of all

I could be in like there's where you know back draft was found and And there's you know, and I would fake, you know when jaws comes out of the water, you know I made a little girl start crying once because I'm I'm you know two months out of acting school So I'm still treating this as all is like an acting exercise. So I'm like, I'm gonna really make these people believe there's a shark in there Yeah, you know, so I'm committing to it So I stand up and I'd be like, you know the whole bit. You know, I can't remember exactly the script But he's like and guys we're just gonna be here at amityville And look at the leg and there's our buddy bob and the in the water just checking out things are safe for us and bob

Oh, he's going to oh god. Oh god. Okay. No kids. You might want to throw away bob bob Oh god dammit. No get back Bob. Oh my god Why it was his birthday. Fuck. Yeah, and uh one girl cried. Yeah Yeah, I got in trouble. I got suspended for a couple if that was my daughter. I would hit her in the face You're gonna cry. That's bullshit acting. Yeah You bought that. Yeah, I know and so I did that hit her on the face. I mean Yeah, somewhere else like yeah, yeah, aren't fit. Yeah. Yeah, I'm nice little tap like a pit tap

I also I made up so many movie facts because people think you know everything about movies Like literally people on these trams and it was just so like you're doing it like do five a day five of these hour tours And I get these like, you know trams full of tourists I had like a a tram full of a German tourist one time So like maybe a hundred of the 200 people and I would just start like making up movie facts because they were taking pictures of everything Right, so I bit we drive along these bushes on the way to the desperate housewives street And I was like you guys are gonna love this after you gotta get your cameras out This is a photo op you cannot miss the bushes

The bushes from the film bushes one and the sequel bushes to attack of the bushes Yeah, you guys remember that scene went out. But you know was like, that's a lot of bushes And they would take pictures of them Yeah, the driver just likes them they're laughing and then again, I get in trouble for that You know, I do I point at people said that they're stars. There is as if I see a balding man Stanley Tucci everybody Right or the Tucci's or black guy. I just say that's Vincent D'Onofrio They're like that's Vincent D'Onofrio. They believe it. Yeah, they would believe it

So then I did that and then uh, and then I was like I want to make more money, but still stay here and and be around Uh, just be around the park more. So then they had an opening for Wolverine. And so I did that He was Wolverine At Universal and by the way, I don't walk around with claws fake claws fake abs fake fangs sideburns the claws I I'll give you a couple quick stories. I don't know shit about Marvel comics, especially Wolverine They give me books and DVDs to try to be like really do some character research like I was number three Wolverine, right? There was like third string Wolverine and there was one guy ahead of me who'd been doing it for like five years Because you go like, you know, you rotate. There's like two in a day. He would come in wearing a

He would come in wearing a Wolverine shirt and he wrote in a motorcycle. Yeah, and like he'd be staying there like offset and he'd be like Yeah, I ground himself and shit. I'm like mark. What are you doing? Hey mark? Your name is mark. You draw. You drive a jedi You are not the real guy And he's like you got to get into it, man. You got to get into this. Oh my god He's like, how do you get into character? I go you want to know what I do? I go, I'm Wolverine and then I walk out there And then I try to and I try to continue to pretend, you know Yeah, these kids like my second day there and I used to say this in my act

These kids would they they nerd the fuck out because they're just like they think you're the real guy Which was so cool. God, but you know, uh, I would hit my daughter in the arm Oh, they were just like, what's Wolverine's favorite food? I was like potatoes out and fuck off, you know Yeah, yeah, and and they just they don't um They don't hold back with with questioning your and the audition was crazy because you walk in you had to audition Yeah, no, we're like a tight black muscle shirt and they were like, you know, what's that? You're not getting it Yeah, you don't get it. You didn't really yeah, because it was like 10 other guys that auditioned for it And I walk in and there's a whole row of the bosses and they walk in they just interview you as wolverine

So they go come in and it's in character. Yeah, I'm gonna interview but again, I don't know shit So I'm walking in I'm just walking real slow my chest puffed out. I go I go I worry guys and they go What's your name? I go Wolverine they go Also Logan, right? I go, yeah And then they go who your who your friends and I go

Oh, you know Matt Yeah, yeah, Doug's pretty cool. Doug's like, yeah, what about storm captain america? I'm like, yeah, they're they're pretty. Yeah, those guys Yeah, yeah And uh, and then they ask me questions. I knew nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and then they're like, what's your super super? Your superpowers like your super strengths and obviously now I know it's like that he can heal, right? Like very good. Yeah, he's he's um laced with adamantium adamantium. Yeah And uh

And they're like, what's your superpower and I and I just you didn't know I did a jump kick because I was like I can't fucking jump kick. It is, you know, yeah And they they laughed to my bosses. I thought it was funny. So they were like they hired me I think based on that and you know looked enough like you. Yeah, I mean you do have a grizzly jewey Well, this was the most jewish wolverine has ever been Yeah, oh really? Yeah, I was wishing people a happy shabbat shalom and Yeah But that that that theme park world is so crazy

Was it you that was adopted your sister was adopted? Oh, your sister. Oh, that's right. I was yeah I was a real girl They couldn't see my peepee and so my mom was gonna name me rachel And then they and then obviously that I came out and they were like, that's the biggest beings we've ever seen You know, you know, it was overwhelming, you know, but they couldn't see it first, but then wait, wait Can you hold on for a second? I just want to document this. Oh By the way, we sound like a studio audience A studio audience are like an opera taping when we see her fall off a chair in an unexpected moment

What happened I shit my pants almost that was as close It's too too shitting your pants is I might have to edit that out. No, no, you gotta get that We're gonna enhance it. We're gonna enhance it. I push too hard That's what you push. That sounded like it was gonna come out on its own Yeah, that sounded like it had no problems making its way to the air So then after wolverine, here's another side job. Here's another side job that you do that people don't know about Is is that um You're you do voice over voice over. Yeah. Yeah for bruce willis. I did. Yeah. I did his ad r

And now I do so when when bruce willis, right isn't a movie And you know when he's like running down the street or you know They call an atom to do his movies I mean, did you die? Did you do dialogue for gi joe? I did like chunks of monologues because apparently he Just talks so and it's not something it's not like a uh You know, it's not like an impression. I can just go into like right right I'm gonna do like, you know, like jay lennon. I can just kind of do like that or if I'm doing bobby big You know, I'm bob, you know, and uh, and so I can just do I can just go into an impression

You know, but bruce I had to really listen to to mimic so I have to have them play it back a lot to really hear it Right, it was a lot of yeah I had breathing a lot of grunts and then a lot of but some chunks of dialogue because he talks so soft And apparently these directors would tell me that like, you know, I mean, that's why we gotta get down We're gonna shoot them in the thing we got And they back bruce just a little louder and he just be like we got it and then he just walked off set And then they'd be like shit. We got to get that jewy wolverine in here Yeah, fucking read the words. Bruce wills. We got it

We already did it. Let's move on Instead of like maybe do it one more time having that kind of power. You guys ever done that on set We got it. Oh, no, I know Do it hundreds of times. I mean, I'm doing that. I'm doing a sony Animation movie with uh, I did it with jimmy oyang and john chow. Nice dragon Oh, but they call me in three sessions and I don't I don't blame them. Yeah, this is just the job But you're doing five scenes a thousand times

The same line over and over again just different variety and there's no point where you can go I'm done Yeah, because you go all you again. Okay. Yeah, and then sometimes like the last session was just me and they had us in together Yeah, because I play we play too like bully like now, but um Mafia grunts. Yeah, those are your people. You're not animals. Yeah, we're a I'm a big mafia guy. He's the little one and um And at times I would look at jimmy and we would just be like How many of other times can you say it?

But you can they find it, you know, they find it and then eventually you'll see Through the cube, you know the little the window. Yeah them because you can't hear them which I hate Because you do a take and then they they go, you know, their facial expression is not happy You guys okay with that? Is that good? Yeah. Yeah, or we're fine to do it again. But then they go You know, they get crazy, but then sometimes they'll go like they'll go You know, they'll smile and go. I think we got it. Yeah, and then that's when you know, you know I'm the voice of this talking horse for shira. It's coming back On netflix works. I'm her sidekick. Basically. It's a talking horse. Yeah, swift wind

Oh, you are end of august early september But that's what I tell people like I do so many take and and and at some point you do kind of get frustrated where you're like God damn it. I've done so many times like I think we got it and then and then they'll be like now Just do one and throw everything we've said away and whatever and play with it And then like there always will be some little thing that you'll do and you're back. Oh, shit There it was worth doing it. Yeah times right 71. There was one little thing One little affectation or you know intonation that you do differently and you're like, I guess they do know what they're talking about Yeah, the only time I don't didn't like doing a voiceover is because I did the awesome. So it was fun with seth Myers

But I used to do a couple of things for a family guy Yeah, and when seth mcfarlane would be there I would get kind of nervous nervous, of course, and it just didn't feel fun Because of the because he's right there. Yeah, and he's like Faster, you know, I'm faster, you know, I mean and you're just kind of like just trying to get and I just I just not having fun Man, I like him. I've you know, he did a couple of sketches on mad tv. Yeah, that's how I knew him And he's a great guy nice. He's super talented. All right. If you're listening sup We love you on tiger belly, but um, yeah, I would get nervous really nervous

You guys got so many big people on mad tv, which uh, I feel like we could have benefited from Well, we're gonna get to that we will get to that the young guys that I used to bring on the road You were the one one of the ones. I think the only one They started doing real things like you were in the heat. That's how you knew sandra And you had a militant. Yeah and melissa mccarthy. You had a really good What a fucking asshole But you had a really big role on that I thought yeah, you know, I was doing a lot of web videos Remember you would do some sketches for me too. That's right

That was like the thing you were always like little hollywood hustler over here because I was doing a lot of and that's how you know, because when you're starting out again, you have You know, you're just trying to do as much stuff just to gain experience and like I came from this sketch background I was doing a lot of videos in high school and then avian in college and then youtube hit and I was like All right, I should start trying to put these things together and and and you did a few for me Which are really funny. My favorite one was with you and andrew santino when he played the gymnast Yes, oh, I have a whole mockumentary written and ready to go with that guy with that character who to duty How funny was that?

And he improvised all of that. I mean, I basically and that's what was so great about these videos It was like, you know, I saw my guys my buddies, uh, Kyle mooney nick rutherford and backbenet who you know now That's a neighbor but they so they went to no, but here's the example They were went to they went to college with me. This guy this guy acts as if I'm like new to the fucking town Hey papa nicks will open for me too. I know they had their sketch group and I was so envious because I was like Good neighbor, bro. Yeah I was like I want guys to be to do shit with all the time But I couldn't find guys that consistently

To shoot every week to write every week. So I was like fucking I'm gonna do it on my own I'm gonna write I'm gonna produce it all I'm gonna direct it and then I'm gonna just get buddies to be and stuff And so that was a blessing and a curse because it was stressful But then you're like, that's how I'm getting better. I guess But that that uh, olympics one It was like I found that little gym out in deep in van eyes And it was so and you know, I had to nudge you to to make sure you weren't because you were like, what is it really? I was like, but I had a little script but an outline and I was like, this is what the character

I think is and it's gonna be and you're not you're trying to teach us But you're this old school coach and you end up just like physically abusing us and you're like, all right, I'll do it Yeah, yeah, and you but like I mean the character was so fucking right like when you want to watch a whole about this old coach It was so funny. Yeah, it's pretty accurate. I feel like that's truly how an asian coach like a chinese But also the code that he like war and the beanie. Yeah, smoking. Yeah, remember some of the lines you're saying you're like, you can do drugs Yeah, the champions in your heart I mean, you know what how I knew that sketch was good is I auditioned for alison jones ones Yeah, and she before even said she goes. I love that fucking olympic thing you did with adamantz andrew

It's possibly next to toky fong is my favorite Character of yours. Oh, wow. Let's do let's talk about it later. Okay. I'll bring it's written and done, man I'll I'll do whoo-to-toody. I'll fucking find it man. You crush it. Yeah. Oh, thank you. See the backstory I mean, come on. Are you kidding me? So then you were the heat find old footage of hoot like coaching these guys Yeah, you did you did the heat. Yeah, and then you did ghostbusters. Yeah big part. I didn't see it Uh, it was I mean I voiced slimer which a lot of that ended up getting trimmed down Which was pretty cool. The part was You know, I played the lead singer in this rock band where they caught a ghost for the first time

It was like the minute it was the big scene in the movie. It took 10 days to shoot I probably on paper had 10 lines paul at me improvise I probably when I walked out was like, you know added another 10 lines I'm like, all right out of 20 things that I've said in this scene And if three of them make it cool, you know, if a couple of the jokes I mean none. It was the singing. I sang two songs all the way through And uh, and they just had to trim it down paul even when when I was waiting to send me an email Before the premiere and he was like just so you know like, you know, because I

I would come out and and and acknowledge the band and Ozzy Osbourne was like headlining this big show And so I would come out and like be you know talking, you know Be like you guys ready to rock and like point doing a record exec who paul was playing as a cameo in the corner I was like, hey man, like I got DVDs and shit. I'd love to stop working bar mitzvahs and quit the coffee beans someday So let me know if you want to talk after the show. Oh, you're doing improvise Yeah, and then I'd be like are you guys ready to rock and then somewhere would go you suck and I'd go hell Yeah, two three, you know Yeah, and then I get attacked by the ghost and you see that in the movie like it hits me into the amps

But then after that that's where it cuts off But then they had me do these stunts where They had a stunt guy pull him out of the amps off the stage and up into the air 30 feet in the air in one motion It looks so dope and then they put me upside down in this whole Trapman And and swung me around upside down and had me screaming and they had a camera at my head I almost passed out like four times because I'm upside down blood rushing to my head He would say action

I would lean back I'd be upside down and then they would start spinning me and fly me around So they could have a shot of me up in the air and then they dropped me into the crowd And I get back so all this shit and none of it was in there. I know it's but what do you do? I can only imagine it's still cool. Paul also gave it to me. So what was like, you know, he goes I know Adam will be up for it. So I can only imagine you doing it and in your hot thoughts You're like because I've been there too. You go. Oh my god. I want to blow the fuck up Oh, yeah, right you literally do. Yes, you can't help it. You told me and this is a great beat This is why I get another compliment and how you've been a good friend and a straight shooter

When I got the heat, I remember I was getting ready to go and you were so genuinely pumped for me Yeah, but also you were like, hey, man It doesn't stop after this like you're not gonna you're so pumped. I know like I see you like Hollywood walking around a little swagger Like you did some youtube videos now. You're in a movie. Oh, you know, whatever What's my balls? But then you were like when you come right back here, man You still got to go to the comic store You're still gonna do your late sets You still got to like grind because you know, you can't help but like let a little bit of it affect you and be like

All right, I'm in movies. I'm a I think I'm a I'm a movie star now. Right. Is this how this works? Yeah, like, you know, Bobby can open for me now When I was in pineapple express Me and Ken had a whole storyline in the movie Right. Wow. So we had like this all a side caper Right, they cut all of it out. Oh my god. Were you devastated? Yeah, but You know that that scene there was a scene where Seth Rogen shoots me in the head, right? Yeah, yeah That room where you're seeing reminded me of mine where they had a metal plate on my head and they had to put an explosive

on my head So he puts the gun right here, right? So they go three two one and it exploded I couldn't hear and all it went Like that, right? And then I felt like my brain like I was brain dead Like I was spinning. Jesus And we got it. No. Oh, we gotta do it again No, right. So they put the metal thing back on my head. Yeah, yeah, put the explosive We did that like four or five times

By the fourth time I'm like, I think I'm gonna go completely deaf. Yeah You know and but you do all that work and in your head, you're like, this is gonna be I wasn't how well I reacted. I wasn't in the premier. You weren't no I was invited to the premiere and um, I didn't work for like three years after that Yeah, but then Judd put you on love and like it all comes around, right? So anyway, Lisa mattresses are so good I love to sleep on them. No, but it's you know, it's it's you know But I'm proud of you because you

You did these things. Well, you've known me from the very beginning when I like, I mean to see you go from there To, you know hanging out with these people and then, you know, you met the midget You met the little midget. Yeah, you know, Brad Williams. I can say that because he's my friend. Yeah, and he calls me China, man So we're fine. It's fine. You have to have a a closeness. That's a thing. It's like, you know When you have a midget friend, you can say you can if I have a retarded friend Can I call him a retard? I probably can Randy the retard. You can call him that. Yeah, if he's your friend If he's your friend, yeah, yeah Some some people take liberties and call me certain things that you call me on the podcast like what it irks me

Yeah, that's not fair. You can't do that. You're my you know, I let you inside me. So you're allowed to say certain things Yeah, you can call me a bitch. You can call me a cunt. Oh god. You call me whatever the fuck you want And that's just our report. Yes, right when people that I don't know like strangers They'd be like, you know, they say the exact they mimic you and I'm like, whoa, dude I had three people this weekend say what's up flat-faced gook in public I'm so sorry. Love tiger belly flat-faced gook. All right. Well in my defense. I was excited to see you Yeah, yeah, uh, or like, you know what's still a thing George is a pink dick people. I people yell it out in the middle of the show. That's pretty cool during a punchline. Yeah

I was about to tell a bunch of George is a pink dick. I go. He's not here And also you have to understand that maybe 50% of the audience doesn't even know what that means So then I'll I can't what? Yeah, but I love you tiger belly fans do what you want, you know, you know I'm going back to uh in a couple months the first time since I've been to with you Which was another great thing about you bringing on the road with me is like Getting to I mean the road you don't realize too as a young comic like how valuable that is like I remember Tommy would bust my balls. He's like, well, you're a road dog now. Huh? I was like, what do you mean?

Like I'm getting a an amazing opportunity open for a guy who sells out all over the He's like, so you're just always gone doing the road. I was like, oh, yeah, sorry I'm I got to quit my job as Wolverine and make some money and do 30 minutes. Yeah before a Crusher and and learn those times is it's I feel like fun or when you're featuring Oh, that's a sweet spot. It's the sweet spot. Yeah, come on. You're unknown. You have no expectations You go up you crush you get off. You're doing half the time. Yeah As a headliner you're having fun. I love it You do also because well it took me a even a couple years to even feel like a headliner because there's and again

You know, you learn a lot from uh from from being on the road and watching not only just a way you're conducting yourself onstage but offstage, you know, uh because You know the first few years I was doing it. I didn't have the um The the headliner confidence to make decisions on the show Like if they they put a host on who'd only been doing it six months and they have him do 15 minutes And he's garbage. Yeah, I just be like, I don't want to ruffle feathers Like all right, like let that kid just do his thing and then I got to a point where I was like He's fucking the show up and this is my show. Yeah, let's go to the club and be like you guys got to get a different host

Whoa, or cut this kid to five minutes and they do that and I didn't feel like a dick about because I was like Oh, it's all about your intentions. I'm coming in at the right way. But yeah, uh, but man It's challenge. I mean going from 30 to then like an hour. It's like a big jump and I didn't realize it So it was like, you know, I'm um, you know trying to it made me work harder and and write more and uh And not and trying to figure out a beginning middle and end or I or don't work harder or don't work harder That's what I do the same. Sometimes I'll do sometimes I'll do a set and like how much time do I do 28 minutes? I remember in San Jose. I remember in San Jose. We were opening open for Bobby in San Jose. It was New Year's I remember, um, Nicole Parker was there too. Yeah, and she we for New Year's they brought down a big screen and they had

Uh, uh, Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin and Bobby and Nicole and I basically like Lip synced to are we they put it on mute and we just did their comment. Like yeah commentary Yeah, and then uh, but you got off stage on one of the shows And uh, and they were like the show's over like and and the host goes back out and and everyone's like having gotten their checks Everyone's like what happened like Bobby did 22 minutes Are you supposed to do an hour? Yeah, oh and I think on that one too. He was a rough. You told me you were like do 45 or something Yeah, it was a rough show, but I'm going back to DC, which I haven't been to since I went with the DC improv

Yeah, first time headlining though, and I've been it's gonna be amazing eight years ago I went with them and which was cool too because I didn't think I was one of the first weekends I went on with you and I was like, I don't know Bobby's gonna like You know he's just gonna sleep all day and like force me to take like boner pills Or is he gonna like are we gonna go see the sights and remember I dragged you out because you didn't want to Let me ask you something When do I ever do that? Never wow. Yeah, I really enjoy your company. Okay. It was special. Yeah, it was so special that I came out of my

Fucking hotel room. Yeah to go see things. I've seen in the movies Like the monuments Yeah, I love food. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you introduced me to Marjanos Oh That too So, um, look at the bed ball Right No edit there

Look how big the solid is so People another thing that people don't know is is that um I was on a show called mad tv for eight years No one knows that. Nobody knows that but um, and they did the revival they Right the reboot the reboot of mad tv and I was so excited because they hired two of my friends. Yeah

You adam right? Yeah, and the indian guy Amirkay, what's his name? Amirkay. Yeah. Love him. Yeah. Is he indian? No, iranian, iranian whatever But um, they hired Hugh and Amar Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Yeah, and um And I was genuinely Fucking excited Because how weird is it that one of my openers Is now on the new revival show of the show that I used to be on it's crazy. It never happens. Never. It's like it's magic

I'm so sorry I know me too. What a bummer. It was a what a real bummer. I thought it would have gone I thought that would have just been I mean again one of those things when you go game changer game changer, right? and when I did it though Can I be honest with you? Yeah It was like super fucking fun To do remember that sketch that I did with you and Ike barenholds. Yeah And Amir where yeah, and Amir. Yeah, where it was the Ike's dressing room. Yeah, and I was in the wall

Yeah, you've been trapped in there. I was trapped in there for 20 years. Right. Remember that one. Yeah, they put you in great makeup Right. Yeah, here's another weird thing about that is is that Ike's brother John. Yeah, who when I was on matthew with Ike John was in high school. Wow Okay, he was a kid and he used to come visit and I used to tease him and whatnot Now I'm doing your mat TV With Ike and and John wrote the sketch. Oh, yeah, that's right. How crazy is that?

Full circle. You think about that stuff when you do it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah No, I think about yeah, I think about cyclical and magic and Coincidence and I take it all in. Yeah, I think it's cool. It was I mean, yeah It was unbelievable for me because that then I also felt like and the fact that you guys you and Ike and Will and Nicole and came back and Mo Collins to like Help because you're like, man, we are so unknown and like this will obviously help people watch Um, yeah, I mean I did too, right? Yeah. Oh, I remember doing a blind kung fu with you and then being In the you know, so I'm in the prosthetics, right?

As a blind another unbelievable character and I'm I'm literally like doing my thing and I'm looking down At Adam Ray because you're playing that, you know, the James Bond character. Yeah And I just thinking how surreal it was That what the fuck this guy used to open for me now. We're doing like television. Yeah, I'm being tied down again But this time it's not before I go on stage. Yeah and then um And then you know, it just went away It's cool to hear you had fun because um, it was fun and I mean I

you know you you It's tough to not have negative feelings about it because there were so many things I felt like that just weren't being done to give us a fair shot like a the cw I mean this first table read we had was like, I mean again one of these moments We were like, oh man, like there's no way the show doesn't do at least five years And that's so much screen time And I've been doing sketch and just so much stuff to prep me for this moment that I feel like I'm just so Ready for I wasn't nervous. I was just so pumped to be like man. I can't you're real. I'm gonna be real

You were so fucking good. Oh, thanks. No, you were you Amir, Amir, Amir reminded me of me When I was on mad which is paranoid a little bit unsure That's why I felt like I I was I was able to talk to Amir and go Yeah, dude, that's I mean we're a comic and this is what it is. Yeah, we're I'm afraid of I'm not from sketch So I was afraid of pitch You know, I thought my idea sucked, you know, I mean it was difficult. Yeah

But you seemed very like I was going in every day to pick stuff and if they were like, I don't know about that I was like, well, then what about this? You know, I just was like and then to have Carol Liefer as a Oh, I mean legends writing. Yeah, you had old guy into just Jim wise and guy and all those guys back You got Scott Scott a little bit for a couple of weeks, you know It's cool in the live audience taping was so aspect was so cool But it's a cw just clamped it down and put too many This first table where we had so many edgy things that were in there that they were like fired up about and I'm like

If they're gonna let us do this I was like, this is this could be a real It should have gone to netflix I know and then they yeah They they I think they were trying to go streaming out of the gate and cw made such a hard push is like And they had a thing a thing with Warner Brothers already. So it was like a an easy thing But they didn't promote it people didn't even know that it was on I know I mean, I would get into it on emails with the woman who did social media and I'd be like Hey, you have to take a page out of snl's book in this day and age if you don't have clips of everything the day after

We're already shooting ourselves in the foot. I was like you guys got it It took like I think five out of the eight episodes for that first season for them to get a youtube page up and I was just like Are you kidding me? Yeah So a show that you're not promoting people are you're also not going on your way to give them a way to find it like And so that was really frustrating But then it's somebody to go control what you can control and don't let that take away from the creative part So it was like I got a what Oliver and Jenna did first splitting up together was they did ellen They did huge things. Yeah to promote the fuck out of it. You need that push now

There's no way there's a million things thing out there Oh my shit, but you know what dude at the end of the day still though You got a glimpse of what it was Yeah And there was another one where we're doing that invention where we're pitching was that thing that live We did it live me and Ike and you were a part of the panel of the shark tank shark tank. That was so fun. Yeah. Were you there? Yeah, the taping you were at the taping. That was so fucking fun. Were you there? You were everyone was there. Oh, they were that was so fucking fun

Yeah, we had to improvise a lot too with that too. That was just yeah That was a magic that was another thing that was really great because it was like having a built like again like a built-in Super comfortable familiarity with you and those sketches. It was like I felt even more comfortable to like Try to just do Anything you know within reason obviously but like and you guys you and Ike were just so good It was cool too to watch you're like, oh man, you haven't done sketch in so long But you guys just like it was so fucking fun and I felt bad but also good for you, you know Yeah, the last thing I want to talk to you about and it's a very serious one and I hate to end on us. Are we already done? No, okay

No, we're not even close to good. You just said the last thing I want to talk. Yeah before the questions. Oh, great You're all jacked up on red bull Yeah, you know, maybe insert another No, no, don't tell me what to do back in here. Yeah, you know, no Oh, he's so cute I want a puppy so good. Oh, well, this is torture. Well He needs to be with another dog though. Why he has he's an orphan puppy Which is different than a puppy who has had siblings and mothers. They need another dog

So looking for someone to adopt we need a yellow fritter. Yeah, he's very trained. She's been trained. We already have a dog No, I don't I want one so bad I think adam just please tell me if he does like one of these he's like i'm a cat bitch Like then I will I'll be real pissed. He's look at him. He's a puppy. He came up with nibbling on my leg I know what's his name fritter. Oh You can read animal No, I love that name. You like fritter's eyes. I know he's how much bigger is he gonna get Um, probably no more than 20 pounds. I don't think yeah, what is he that? What is that right now like eight pounds?

He said five 20 pound. Okay. That's not too much bigger. How about this? Why don't we do this? Okay? Oh my god, we'll have a we'll have a conversation I almost adopted a kid three months ago by the way You did yeah, that's don't do that. I'm not okay. But well for what what color was it black? That's good. Yeah. I mean real light skin black, but I would go darker I would And and he also just bring him before I would do a trial run. Oh, he was bring him to the track, you know like mind the basketball

It's trial run. Let's just see what let's see what I can do a kid audition. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah All right, I'm gonna post that I And fyi anyone listening, you know, and you're going. Oh my god. That was so racist. I wasn't no, I'm just saying I'm done with that Yeah, I'm I'm defending jokes. No, I'm just gonna say what I think is funny I'm done with that. I'm done with like in my head going You know censoring. Yeah head sensors There's a lot of that going on in the world, you know, and there are a lot of things that I say that we should censor which we do

We should we do a lot. Yeah, she does it. Oh, do you really is there any today on the ship program? I don't think so. No, I think I've been pretty fair about what I do Censored you have to ensure that you keep a network job. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, but um, but this this last thing was nothing No, that was nothing. Okay. Good. Thank you. Also if the president can be like I moved on or like a bitch Yeah, and then you can say whatever you want, but But he turns out you can't you can't because let me say something You're right for some reason is able to all those trappings and things that normal people get in trouble for He's able to just to do it and no one seems to

Especially on the right side of things. Yeah seemed to really fucking give a fuck and it really is The most frustrating thing in the world and I just want to I know we're not a political show Yeah, and I want to say this. Okay, and I just need to get off my chest. I'm so sorry. Okay, but sarah sanders Getting thrown out of the red head right which is that restaurant? Yeah, you heard about that. Oh, yeah And the the gay couple wanting to get the cake Are two completely different things. Of course the gay guy Wanting to get the cake from the christian baker Baker. Yeah, the gay guy has no choice about being gay

Okay, he was born that way Give him the cake. What type of cake did he want before his wedding? But like was like a dick shaped cake? That's a real question. That is a very good question. Was it two dicks? He's like, I think it was just a regular group in the groom I think it's a regular cake. Okay. Yeah. Yeah made out of cum How's that gay? I was like gay. That's just that's not gay. That's just normal. It's delicious The texture and the protein. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, babe. No, they are they're way different. Yeah, they're way different because Sarah sanders. Yes, right being the voice piece For somebody like that is a choice. Yes

She chose to do that. Yeah, no one's forcing her right. So she deserves to get kicked out if she wants killed her with kindness That's not the route. I would have taken I would have Um Given her a great meal on the house and then as I give her the check I would have written a note Just so you know, just be that would have done it, but she I don't think she would even read the note. She right She would she probably wouldn't read it and would have any effect on her. I think her heart is so No on the check. I mean just on the check. I don't think she's reading that

Yeah, I mean, I love your approach. I mean, how long I mean first of all the check Say, this is the check, right? You have that much space. Yeah. So what can you go? You're doing a shit job lady Yeah, I think that's worse. I think that's worse. So serve her the meal and then just and then what I would do is serve her the meal and go And give her a great meal put it on the house And come go up to her and go. I just want to let you know. Um, what you're doing is um Just got awful and then she can't say anything bad about the food because she clearly have already finished it

You're both you're welcome. You're welcome here anytime But what you're doing is awful. Yeah, how do you sleep at night? How do you sleep at night? Bitch, or you know, no, you can't do that. Yeah, but you know what? How do you sleep at night? And she goes, I don't leave the mattress It's a pretty good serious hand. Very good call back as well. Thank you. But um You know because I've seen a lot of these comparisons. You know, it's a psych It's not even there's no it's not even comparable. But um, the one thing I wanted to talk to you about I find disturbing. Yeah. Yeah Is that you've not even seen the Game of Thrones at all

Oh, the what Game of Thrones? Yeah, well, no, let me ask you. I'll be real serious question You don't like do you have did you watch Lord of the Rings? I've seen 20 minutes of the third the first one. I was really so you're not a fan. I loved it No, I loved it. I was so baked when I started and I go the last thing I remember is um What's the big guy's name the wizard? He's like he's an Igor. Yeah And he goes and he goes, uh, I remember him just being really tall in a room and somebody small being like these don't and he was like Yo, I have the power. You know, yeah. Yeah, or uh, some I remember something that's a scene, right?

I remember that being very high and I remember at that point being like 20 minutes in 40 minutes in but I remember loving it And then just being so I was like, I gotta go to battle finishes And then look three three and a half hours of a movie like that's a commitment And I'm always it's why I haven't seen a lot of great movies Uh, because I just that of that length because I just I would rather be doing Rather be writing I'd rather be you know, I just it's not like I don't want to see the movies I do I at one point I want to go see the Lord of the Rings back to back to back I think that's how I'm gonna do it when they when they release them in the theater or just do that at home

But with Game of Thrones same thing that style seems very interesting to me and I know the acting is great and um and The d'artanian he's uh was he one of the him and the dragon or become like best friends and they go on a journey to find the Quest yeah, and they find the pebbles and D'artanian is the three musketeers. Oh, shit. Okay. So anyway, but you know And they just don't hear angering him. I'm sure don't do that. Look. I want to and I gotta watch 20 minutes I watched 20 minutes of the first episode and again. I go

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, sick you Sick you you fucking piece of shit. Oh You bear oh No, okay What i'm saying to you right now. What am I missing out on? Maybe it's not everyone's cup of tea You know what when you just framed it in that way that you just don't like entertainment then well, that's not it I don't I don't have no you don't like entertainment. I need to

I mean, I saw shanghai nights twice in the theater You're never gonna get that I back that time back. I don't want it back I'm glad that I gave it up to Jackie Chan and oh no, so right right what I'm saying to you is this and Is that I believe that number one? It's a cultural phenomenon, right? It everyone in the room thin lips. Do you agree? Is it natural though for me to get a little turned off at something that gets so Popularized that and I look I am by no means somebody that's just like I'm gonna I'm gonna do things a little bit differently Yeah, I'm not trying to pull a furgy and sing a weird national anthem. Yeah, but when you when I was a C national

Yeah, I said yeah, you're right. It was in 1970s In the late 70s in the late 70s. I was what 10 Okay, nine great and I was in school. Yeah elementary school whatever And the kids were talking about this new movie called star wars. Hmm. They had booklets everyone had it That's one with Harrison Ford, right? I'm kidding. I've seen all those. I know you have I love Yoda I do you know, I love Yoda. Yeah, guess guess who voiced Yoda Frank Oz and I was a huge mother whoa That's that's that's that's man. Yeah trivia. Whoa, that's good voice Yoda and fozzy bear. Yeah, where's his oscar?

I know anyway, but what I'm saying is is that um You know, I was not instead of going, you know what everyone's you know watching the star wars thing Fuck it I'm not gonna get involved. Yeah, right. No, I was like By went to my parents. I go everyone's seeing it. Can I see it? Yeah, my dad was like, oh, what is it? I go star wars. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Why and then my mom on the side goes, okay Hey, I thank you. Oh, so I remember my mom taking us to see star wars. That's so cool And being just completely blown away getting it going. Wow. This is why

Everyone's talking about it. I'd never seen anything like it. Yeah So, um, no, it's the creek of the table. Yeah That was the original voice for Yoda But they were like, maybe we should get Frank Oz. Yeah. Yeah, but so I feel like um Well, I think I'm like too much time. I let too much time go by. No, that's a lot of people's excuses too It is but it's the real reason. Yeah, because I feel like I I missed the boat to because now look if I go watch the entire I honestly and then come back to you and I go, hey, let's do let's let's hang out or like Let's do a podcast where I where you interview me about the show or whatever it is

You're gonna be like, I don't give a shit man because that was that already happened. Oh, no I fully give a shit about season one. Oh, really? Yeah, still are very Very, um, pertinent to the storyline Of the last season because I don't want to just watch it and then just not have anybody to talk to about it You know, can I just say something? So I guess you find a group. Am I a person? Is Bobbily a person that when he says something He doesn't mean it. I think I am when I say something I mean it. Yeah And I'm gonna say something to you and I completely mean it. Oh, no. Yeah, and this is the fact, okay

Is if you don't I'm not gonna talk to you I'll get that if I don't know I'm being real. Yeah, I won't even if at the club if I see you at a club If you haven't seen two seasons of the show by no, I won't talk you until you do oh of the of of Game of Thrones Yes, okay I am everyone listening to tiger belly fans right now. Yeah, I am gonna commit to this deal. I love it. All right Um, I can go have you seen it and you go no, I haven't seen it yet Then that's gonna be the end of the conversation. Great, and I'll walk away. Okay. All right And what if I have seen it then you can go I saw the first two episodes, but then are you gonna ask me questions?

Oh, yeah, oh great a lot. Okay, cool Is that like that because that that means you can have some parking lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so Um, that's what you're gonna do. Great. All right. Very excited. Now. Can I be high? The problem with that is there's so much information going on. Yeah, yeah My sister watched the battle of the bastards extremely high and she says it was not a good experience for her Really? She says it was it became terrifying when it wasn't supposed to be. Yeah, okay Um, there's a lot there's a lot of characters. I feel like that might be overwhelming To track if I am not sober right like there's every episode. Is there a new dragon coming in?

There's a new I don't even like your tone right now I heard the dragon is one of the coolest parts of the show. Is it yeah, but that's later Here's where I remember you're not gonna see no fucking dragons dog in the beginning fucker. Why don't Here's what I want to here's what I want I remember in the first episode that I watched almost all of A guy with long hair cut somebody's head off and then there was a girl and she She walked in and she they showed her from the back and her butt cheeks and she got into a bath

And then the guy and then and then and I was like, okay All right. Now what this is a good segue. What happens after this? Do they show her take the whole bath? Does the guy who cut the head off come back in with the head and go boo as she's in the bath, you know, yeah, yeah Um But I don't remember after that whatever your antics are. I like that shirt by the way. Thank you. This is a mahalo Yeah, we're going to hawaii next wednesday. Oh man, I man, I

I could have probably stayed there to live there for a little bit after this last trip How many times have you been there? Um, did you go with adam divine? Yeah to do a show, but I stayed after my girlfriend. Did you go with adam divine? Yeah, yeah, you're fancy and dumb. What do we have time? We're over an hour But you know what I went before that with my dad because he used to live on the marshall islands in quadland anyway Um, okay, just some interesting stuff about me. I was trying to So at the end of our thing. Yeah, all right, we do this thing called unhelpful advice great

Unhelpful advice with bobby collider and adabrae Um, hey guys, my name is ali and I've lived in iran my whole life I'm 19 years old and I still get my ass kicked by my father But there's nothing I can do about it because everyone supports what he does and is actually considered normal So if I actually do anything my whole family and friends will turn against me What kind of advice can you give me? Um, number one, uh, you have to break the cycle. That's number one Number two, it's cultural take the beatings I

Was unhelpful advice so it could be good Let me say this All the beatings I got My dad, okay, my dad loved to play golf. Do you know that? No, you know what his favorite golf courses? Bobby's back. Yes, my body. Oh, he's you with his clubs. Yes, that's what I was going yesterday was going for Yeah, I used to go for And then like hit me as hard as you could with the fucking and I took those beatings. Wow. And you know what happened I got angry. Yeah

resentful And that's where I learned the word rage Not from him within my heart And but I used that rage to motivate me to get out of the situation Okay, so take the beatings. But at 19, do you still take the beatings? He's 19. Yeah, move Run away. Yeah, but like culturally it's very common to just stay in a house and household with all your family members for a long time What ethnicity is he again? He's from Iran

Man, yeah, I well, how big is this Iranian father? I don't think he didn't listen. Typically pretty like five nine pretty husky guys. Yeah, it's pretty it do but culturally there It's like they don't fight back. You can if you fought back you could ban from the family I don't know because I'm cutting you off the Wi-Fi. Also. What's he beating you up for? I like what great question. Yeah, like are the are the other kids getting beat up or dizzy? Or are you I'm dealing heroin on the house. That's and that's one thing that's worth a beating Right, but if it's like I didn't high five you when you left for work. Yeah, that's another thing Yeah, and is everybody else in your family getting beat up too because then this, you know, you feel less alone

I guess when your mom comes through with a bloody mouth. You're like, oh, yeah Did you get hit get the belt a few times but also my dad left when I was nine so In your face. Thanks for bringing that up I'm sorry. No, it's okay. No, so uh Yeah, the belt a few times. I think I got spanked by my mom for sure. Wait, so your dad left. Yeah at whole. Do you nine? Yeah, is he back in your life? Yeah, I mean he got remarried So he he was messing around my mom with a woman. He's not married too And then they had a couple kids

And that's that where do they live? He lives in Salem now and she just moved down that's just this no organ and my mom is remarried up in seattle still And my half brothers live in washington and uh, but do you by you close to with your dad or not? Yeah, I mean, I think I took my sister was what 11 and she was a lot more aware of what was happening Like she remembers him walking out on her birthday like being the day that he pieced out like officially So and I think I took this approach because I saw And then my sister ended up being kind of like going through some rough patches And I had getting sent away to a all-girls school because she stole my mom's van

It was driving to arizona with her boyfriend at the time. She stole all my clothes and and and stuff and my um I as a result was just like I'm gonna just try to be as good as I can for my mom because Not because I probably really wanted to but as default. I was like, oh, I don't like I'm seeing what it's doing to my mom I need to also I need to do the flip side and try to not have my mom have two crazy kids so i'm gonna try to Do good in school and do all this stuff my brother did yeah, and uh And so my sister has a lot more resentment towards my dad and then I was just like I'd rather have a relationship with them than not so in college high school was a little weird because he was gone

You know and those islands I was talking about and then in arizona midway. Yeah, and then he uh, and then when I was in college He had a real rough patch. And so, uh, I just was like, well, I'm gonna I'll pick up when he talks and we talk sports and talk other comedy and this and that and he was having a rough time So I was like, I'll be there for him and and I just didn't know any any different, you know, and so now Yeah, I mean I just had to help him out like financially a lot too. You did yeah Yeah, but so now but luckily, you know The voiceover stuff is going okay, but I mean I would you know, fuck man I could I could have a cool podcast studio like this if I didn't give him so much fucking cash

But you still pay just stopped and now working it out to try to get some some funds back But also you you pet you help out with the intention of knowing like you're probably not gonna get anything Well, I mean, you know, but I would be able to sleep at night Um, well actually I would on a lease of mattress, but I wouldn't uh knowing that that uh that I was single handedly the only one that was In his world to help and didn't help. I mean give me a break. It's he's 72 73. Yeah, I mean, I hope my parents Yeah, you just all the things that my dad did I still help. Yeah, because you have to it's like You don't have to but you kind of I think you do. Yeah, I think you do

I think that um, what if my dad when he's what what if I didn't help him and he just goes And he's and he's not that bad and he goes you don't have to help me, but just please watch Game of Thrones But yeah, you have to help you're making a mockery of it No, I'm gonna see it. I'm gonna watch two seasons. You know, anyway, that's I could my whole family I mean, dude, there's there's some bonkers shit. I could tell you but also I've never been that open about a lot of that stuff I mean on the stage because I I still name you one bonker Name one bonker. Is that a spin-off podcast where people name me a bonker? Oh boy, um All right

It's gotta be bonker though Better be bonker if it's like, uh, that's not bonker. I'm not gonna get angry. Well, I've got a funny bonker That's like my brother-in-law is a rapper and he's white and he's not m&m But is he big? I mean, he's in the local Seattle scene. He's That's not bonker. That's not bonker, dude. But he'll post it on instagram He'll post things on instagram like looking for pussy to change change my life not the smell of my house Hashtag thought for the day and I'm like, oh, that's about my sister

Oh, really? You know what I'm saying? Oh, wow. It's the father of my nieces. Yeah Wow bonkers like my uncle used to stick firecrackers in his ass and now he has no ass cheeks So bonkers. I mean, look, there's some look my bonker, dude Bonker it out. Oh boy. Yeah, I'll give a bonkers family. Yeah. All right. My uh, oh boy I mean, there's well, there's some stuff about like my stepbrother right now has had some bonkers shit And I feel like you I can't you what happened to you bonker. What happened to me? Yeah I mean my bonker stuff was being, um Uh

Real big fat kid and teased a lot. Oh, that's why you were fat and I don't want to say like Suicidal, but like pretty like that's Give me the definition of bonker. That's bonkers, isn't it? No, it could be what kind of bonk What is your? I don't know. I put a popped out of my ass. What do you want me to say? That's what he wants. That's what I want. I wasn't no, I wasn't molested. Is that what you're trying to? No No one's molesting a fat kid Bumper sticker that's good No one's molesting a fat kid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think I was doing myself a favor

Did I hurt you that you thank you handy snacks? Did you get hurt hurt because you weren't molested? I love how I thought for a minute to answer that I mean you think yeah, because I was and can I just say in retrospect? I was cute Yeah, were you molested? No. Yeah, you weren't I was fat. Yeah, you're fat. That's right Fat kids don't get molested Trademark they get diabetes All right The other form of molestation. Yeah. All right. We'll sit this Iranian kid. Um, yeah, I think he's gotta move you gotta move 19

You gotta take you gotta move out of the country. Yeah Move out of the country. We're out of the country come to America. Yeah Where the beatings are, you know Moderate. Do you have any moderate? Do you have anything to promote? Yeah, uh, that shira show is gonna hit netflix In the fall and uh, american vandal. I'm on the second season of that I play one of the cops at the high school. Oh cool, man. It's gonna be pretty cool. You already did it. Yeah, cool. And then uh, who cast that? Hey, I'm kidding. I don't know. What else? My podcast about last night with brad williams. That's a great podcast. I did it. You did. Yeah, one of the highest episodes

I told you that so far. Yeah But the other stars get bigger numbers, right? Not necessarily Exactly. You berkreicher melissa and sander in the last year biggest ones mccarthy. Yep berkreicher. Yep feels good What if I was like, no melissa jones heart? Also a good get though. Clarissa explains it all. Yep. I would love her to on my podcast about last night get in on itunes Yeah, um, what else give her terry gar. Yeah She has ms. Yeah, we watched all of her old stuff the other day. Yeah If you've seen photos of her lately, no, it's so sad

Don't get it listening to right if you're listening right now. Do not get ms. That's not a choice. It's not it's not a disease you get No, it's multiple sclerosis and a lot of people Don't get ms. We're sorry. All right. Anyway, um, give adam rhea a round of applause My stand up to her dates on adam rhea comedy.com. Yeah adam rhea comedy.com touring all over the country to rhea all the time All right, we'll be right back guys adam ray was wonderful He has a really good voice, huh? Oh, imagine just being born with a voice like that Like you must always feel like a winner Fancy he's a fancy. Yeah, he has a trailer voice. You know the voice they use like

When mary was 12 that that's that was pretty good. Oh really? Yeah. Thanks You can't really bear appreciate the support guys One world kalyla cum sweats all over the world. Oh god. I can't stop sweating you guys It's getting worse and worse. Oh if your sweats just don't let it be wasted catch it in something I suggest Our latest tiger gooner get off of there It's okay. It's okay. You can leave him here. You can leave him out there Here i'm just gonna raise this a little bit higher you guys we have new merch that's gonna be available

Um monday at 10 a.m. And we're not gonna botch it. We're gonna fuck it up this time on the dot We're gonna the site's gonna go live 10 a.m. On monday. That's what's the date the june 2nd june 2nd and Available will be this beautiful cup that says tiger belly los angeles and on the bottom It has a cute little inside thing that says nosotras papaya. It's a secret message only for you guys And uh this uh merch run is our black on black on black sale So we have the black matt mug and we got these two black teas our newest shirt is What we call this one supreme leader. What do you have 80s trio? That's 80s trio right that's the 80s trio with uh supreme leader

Bobby could you see that behind the cat? Got it And then we're bringing back we're announcing right now in air. We're bringing back a limited run of the og T-slep king t-shirt. Don't sleep on this one two Don't sleep this one So guys check out those shirts on monday uh limited amounts for both t-shirts and limited amount for the mugs And there will still be also limited amount of sticker pack one So make sure you go buy and support and uh

Rep rep a strong uh our energy is low. We need to make it sound more Enthusiastic you guys hey guys we got merch coming on june second cloud take it away It's gonna be gone on 1005 so get there at 10 o'clock am pacific standard time or else you'll miss out Yes, I would set your alarms. I would do everything necessary to um grab especially the slept king one because This one sold out very fast the last time. Yeah, and we are not going to be reprinting this. This is a So a one-time deal and also the 80s trio buy that fast as well too because that's also Byron because we may not reprint it for a long time or we may not reprint it ever 80s trio is specifically Uh 2018 yeah for sure so get that as well

Okay, just second. We're really good at selling merch. Yeah. What else is that energy? Uh, how do you feel kalala your beautiful niece my favorite one? My only oh wait. No, you're too. Wow. Oh, you hear that? No, I mean she was here alone is what I'm saying because her family had left my niece from the philippine she stayed here with me for three months and Um, it's a pity bobby um, and I didn't talk about it today because we are devastated that she's left She left yesterday and it really brought us closer together. Yeah, it felt like having a we were parenting a teenager sure granted she is

Very a very behaved teenager. So maybe that made a positive experience. I wonder I'm curious to see Jesus fucking christ goby Come here. Come here Okay, um, it was an emotional experience when she left yesterday at lax international. Yeah or burbank. No lax Um, here here's goby. Go. He's gonna relax now. Yeah, it was just nice having her and I think to myself like Would I be a good parent to a teenager? Like what if she was a shitty teen? I wonder if I'd be able to to deal with her Probably not I think so. I think you probably do better with teen in any like of the life stages probably best at teen That's like your wheelhouse. That's your wheelhouse. I don't think that 10 year olds are my thing No, no, no, you need high school because that's like already about to go 18

I feel like you have a lot of wisdom in that transitional period Yeah, I might have I might have given her like really wrong advice though I think I walked in one time and you were just what was the thing about sex? I forgot what it was like I basically told her that You know you you live in a you live in a country where everything they shame you for everything especially your sexuality and especially if you're a girl And what I was telling her is like you can do I don't care what you do With your vagina as long as you don't walk away

Feeling ashamed feeling bad getting an std or pregnant. Those are my four rules Whatever if you want to enjoy and explore your sexuality By all means do just abide by those four rules. Yeah, don't get sick. Don't get pregnant and enjoy yourself If you're putting yourself in situations where you're walking away feeling like shit It probably wasn't the situation to have gotten into And she'll figure that on her own. Yeah the journey But yeah, we're we're really sad and on many occasions Bobby like sat her down and was like, can I legally adopt you? I heard him saying that when I walked in. Yeah, he loves her so much. He's such a great girl

So shout out to jewels. We missed you. We miss you jewels And if you don't know who jewels is uh, you'll see her follow our ig because she's modeling some of the tiger belly clothes And she's so pretty so pretty um Is there any uh, oh, yeah, uh, was it tears at lax? Hey, hey, hey, did everyone hold their composure pretty well. No, no tears tears damn goby my fucking god cut this out No, we're keeping it in. This is this is real life because the puppy is growling and shit I don't want to like put it out there that he was that okay. Well. Now. What do you say that cheese claw?

Can you stop? See look look he's giving kisses now now Okay, my god. Stop it. Put the puppy down. Anyways, uh, are there any reverse shout outs shout outs you want to make dear peoples? Uh, no, absolutely none Absolutely none George shout out to argetina for finally actually winning and getting through to the round of 16. Good job. Somebody said that in the last Was it like five years of internationals? messy has only scored five goals and in the last like

60 minutes of playing harry kane has scored five goals Or some shit like that No, there's different teams surrounding each player. So, uh, I know but argentina is you guys there's don't you have de maria? Yeah, do you have you have players? Strikers in the world. Yeah. No, there's just no defense. There's no back Yeah, who plays defense? That's true Fuck argentina go mexico portugal Oh, come on. Oh my god. Why is it because I like ronaldo. Who cares?

Yeah, but he looks like he's had plastic surgery and I like it Yeah, yum yum yum yum. He's like his eyebrows. I know, you know, it's so weird. I'm sure that I am the Minority for sure here, but I don't find him attractive. Oh, he's he looks grotesque now No, I mean even in his I I'm he's a handsome man, of course You're like, okay, I but there's nothing about him that makes my inguinal region, you know fire up I just like greatness Of course, that's me and my ovaries are fine You're ovaries that's air intact Gilbert's ovaries are intact. Okay, everyone, but come on guys Mexico all the way. Oh, yeah

Oh, yeah, you're wearing a fucking Okay, most of the way well, Argentina, but they're not doing that with you this year. We'll see Okay, well, let's go Mexico beat Sweden. It's gonna. Are you wearing a Mexico kit? Let's uh me. Yeah, she speaks Spanish Yeah, basically living LA. She's basically in Mexico. Dude. I was an honorary Mexican by from the time I was like 15 years old Do you know how many quinceaneras I've been to? 67 that's almost came first of all. That's the most ridiculous number anyone could ever say Seriously, the third guy the third guy I ever made out with in the United States Was like my friend's older uncle at a quinceanera. I was underage. He was probably like 35

I swear to god, go see a therapist No, but I mean, you know, it's just okay. We trust you 67 quinceaneras. You are right that will Oh, that's good. Uh, hey, everyone There's some info from claula's past again Very storied past you have I have I know You guys don't even know the name of the first guy I ever made out with uh in america chico Chico no Henry no, why would I make out with a guy named Henry?

Marcellos. No, that's probably closer though. No, it was uh, it was a guy named Jerome. I'll talk about it Jerm short for no Jerome. Jerm He was the only guy willing to make out with like Fucking I was like a meat grinder. I had braces and a bowl cut Okay, he was nice enough. It was a charitable make-out sesh storied pass with claula All right guys makes you false on tiger belly on instagram at tiger belly on twitter at the tiger belly emails any questions at the tiger belly at gmail.com Uh, george, where can we follow you? Uh, did you uh, uh, george. I just got kind of like on instagram and uh, claula where can we follow at calamity k

And uh, hey brice. He's not here, but are we still doing that? Are we still trying to get more followers for brice? Oh, we are If you follow george kimmel for a month and a half and you're trying to get a follower If you already follow george kimmel definitely on follow instead Instead, um, you should follow brice halak. What if you want to see pictures of the tiniest fish in the world? I like fish and don't you make fun of his bait fish like that. It's uh, it's called species fishing or micro fishing And you know what he has a point to all this I think that the world focuses too much on eating the fourth four seafood and we're depleting the ocean in a really bad way

And he focuses on catching the tiniest fish possible and releasing them again. Which is more sustainable Oh, yeah, good job, brice. So I follow george kimmel and follow brice halak Well the battle continues so stay tuned with tiger belly jay thin lips. Where can we follow you? EL x thank you for saying j and el x if you didn't catch that from off And then all bobby's tour dates and bobbyleelive.com. Oh you guys bobby will be in um san antonio this weekend So will you go by tickets? I will not be there because I have six animals to take care of Including one puppy who is still very available and you can go to mayday rescue to um adopt for m a e day a y Thanks, george. Thanks man. Maybe that was actually a good thing because mayday is your usual spell yet

It's m a e d a y. Thank you and shout out to our sponsors for your three free meals Go to blueapron.com slash belly and thanks to science baldness can be optional get a trial month for five dollars at four hymns That com slash belly. I think it's like 50 bucks. So it actually has a legit deal. I'm actually gonna do it And I mean I already did do it Don't miss your summer mattress savings for 160 dollars off. Go to lisa.com slash Belly Oh Hey prime members you can listen to tiger barely ad free on amazon music

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