TigerBelly - Episode 149: A Demon God?

Episode Date: July 5, 2018

Bobo sees an aura of diabetes. Khalyla confronts a dude. We talk World Cup, Bobo's bullies, and La Brone. Also we take a break. Recorded 7/02/18See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondori Plus. Tiger Belly, life, juices, energy, within you, without you, on the outside, on the inside, on the outskirts, on the upper, lower, register of your psyche, soccer, soccer. It's haikus. It's poetry. It's things that just flow out of me, guys, and I'm going to tell you something right now. This Tiger Belly situation has really gotten to my head.

I'm really beginning to think that I am the Slap King. Like a messiah. No, like a demon god. Oh my God. A demigod? A demigod? No. I'm a demon god.

Okay. Demigod? No. I'm a demon god. I didn't know if there was a Japanese accent. No, I really, it's gotten to my head. I was in San Antonio, right? I go up on stage and people yelling, Nosotras Papaya, George is a pink dick, Slap King,

all this stuff, and these are, and then after I meet these people and I'll do things like I'll touch their face and go, this year is going to be your year, and then their eyes get all jiggly. Dude. No, they vibrate. They're jiggly and they vibrate, and they look at me and they go, really? Yeah. I go, yes.

Nosotras Papaya. And they say, Nosotras Papaya to me, and then there's something that happens. I was at the airport with that little Punjab kid that opened for me, Assan. Assan. Assan. He's from Bangla. Bangla. Bangla.

Whatever. I don't know the rest of it. It's the nickname. I don't know the rest of it. Bangladesh. Whatever. He's from there. So, these two guys, they're in uniform, and they're military, and they said, they were

trembling, and they said, Nosotras Papaya, Slap King, you would take a photo, and I put my hand on one of the military guys' chest. Oh my God. No, just listen. I understand. And I said, fortune, and he goes, and he goes, what? That's what I would say. Yeah, yeah, and I go, I just gave you fortune, and then he looked at me, he goes, thank you.

Like, I really did something, and I said, $20. He goes, thank you. He gave me $20. No, he's going to get $20 eventually. Oh, adventure. That's what the hand on the chest means. Oh, wow. It's really getting into my head.

I really need to take a break or something. I need to take, you know, a humility break, because I look in the mirror, I don't even see me anymore. What do you see? I see just aura. Like a light? You just see light? A glow.

And what color is that glow? It's the color of diabetes. Oh, man. That's sad. That's really sad. Diabetes and kidney disease. Gosh, man. And my neck hurts so bad.

Oh, really? Yeah, and then there's a guy, there was a couple of guys in San Antonio who come every time to San Antonio to see me, and they're seven foot nine. They both weigh 300 pounds, and they have gigantism. They really do. I don't know what they have. Like Antonio Silva. Yeah, but they're always in the front.

They're all like this. They talk like this. Hey, my man. With an accent? Yeah, like this. Where are they from? I don't know. And they take me to Tacos.

Wow. Yeah. So I have gigantism people, and they can crush your eyes. You just call them giants. They can crush you. Gigantism people. Yeah, they can crush you, like Andre did, the giant. Andre was sweet though.

Let me tell you something right now too. You know, when Korea beat Germany, I was really happy for Korea because we got to help another brown nation get through to the last 16. We really helped them. And what happened was, if you don't know, if you're not following the World Cup, Mexico lost to Sweden. So they were out of the World Cup. And Korea had to beat Germany, which was never going to happen because Germany are the champions.

Powerhouse. Right? But what did we do? We won 2-0. It was a miracle. Disney movie. Like a Disney movie. Sure.

Right? It was just about honor at that point. And then Mexicans. You know what the Mexicans did? They honored us. Oh, great. You know what they did? They picked us up.

Yeah. And they fucking ran around with us on their shoulders around town saying, thank you. Thank you. And in the Mexico City, you know, they went to the embassy and the chancellor or whatever, Korean chancellor, they brought them out. They did shots of tequila with them. And they picked them up like it was a fucking puppet. You know what I mean or what's something?

Yeah. And they threw. I have a question though. What? But then. You know that guy in Mexico City that random, oh shit. What are you doing, man? Don't do that.

Don't do that. Please don't do that. That random Korean guy. Yeah. Who everyone wanted to take a picture with. Yeah. He just allowed people to like basically like idolize him. Oh, I would.

He was like receiving all the love with like, yeah, I did like I said, if he did something. The goalkeeper? No, no, no. The random guy in Mexico, Korean dude just was getting taken selfies with people. Yeah. Because people were like, cause he was Korean. That's it. You know what I would have done?

What? Pulled my dick out. Why? Suck. Oh my God. Suck it. We would suck it off. Yeah.

You wanted the last 16? That's what I did. Suck it. So, you know, I was, I'll be honest with you, I was caught up on the heat. I was caught on the end, the hype and all that. I was so happy for Mexicans. I was so happy for Korea. It was, it just felt, you know, what the World Cup is supposed to be.

It connects people. But then I saw this bullshit. Yeah. No, there's hundreds of photos like this. You guys are defendant? Yeah. It's Mexicans doing Chinese eye things into a camera. Why, they not Korean eye things.

What? Why'd you say, why did you specifically say Chinese? Because look at the way they're being, they're backwards. Oh. Directly back. What is that? Chinese? Japanese down?

Korea. Korea is fully sideways. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. This, yeah, they're up a little up. But I, so I posted this photo on Instagram and there was a pretty, and I don't want to, I don't want to give, so this, it's a photo of a bunch of Mexican fans of their team in their jerseys and they're doing Chinese eyes.

And then. But why did you post a photo? And I wanted to see what the comments would be and Nick Yosef's probably trumped everyone else's. What do you say? Did you take this photo from the stage? Very funny. That's good.

Right. One of the other guys goes, which one is you? Which is a very funny one. That's funny. That's good. But there was a lot of Asians mad and there's a comedian named PK, I want to read his comment. And this is the tone of a lot of Koreans. Okay.

I glad you posted this. He doesn't have it. No, he doesn't. He's very American. I know. But I'm going to do an accent with it. Okay, fine. This is PK.

It just make his inner, his inner Asians coming out. Yeah. I glad you posted this. I'm rooting for Mexico. I just said a Mexican. Yeah. I turned Mexican. All right.

No, I'm going to start over. Try your best. Yeah. I glad you posted this. Okay. I'm rooting for Mexico because more Mexican showing God in love after we help them advance. I love all Mexican except these fuckers doing slant eye and trying to pass it off like no big deal.

G T F O H. What does that mean? Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. That's exactly. Let me say that again. One more time. Get the fuck out of here.

Yeah, that's on point. Yeah. The most, the most original. She people have been making for Asian for so same way for a century. Why are you saying cholo? Come on with something new fucking idiots. That's the sentiment. Yeah.

And can I say, you know what my opinion is? At the end of the day, it's funny. Yeah. I don't care. At the end of the day, it's such a small, tiny minority of people doing that. So I think that it's actually kind of you post what you want to post, but there's already so much like division in this country and so many- Get the fuck out of here.

That's exactly. Fuck up, fuck up, fuck up, fuck up, fuck up, fuck up. Sorry, just- It's like, we keep pointing out differences and things that like, hurt our feelings. We never kind of reach out and see like, humanity of it. For starters, yeah, they should come up with something more original. That's dumb. But that doesn't speak for the, you know, for any of the Mexicans I know.

Like, they would never do that. I guarantee you that wasn't an L.A. I guarantee you that was in Mexico, I just don't know anybody who would do that That's like a total of let's say even if it was 90 people 90 dumb fucks But doesn't speak for them. Well, no, it wasn't just 90 first of all a couple of TV Telemundo, I heard about yeah, they got fired or like suspended. Yeah, they did that too on air on air So what I'm saying is not just 20 people. It's hundreds of I've seen hundreds of photos of that And I'm gonna just just tell you

It's weird. It's like holy shit. They saved us It's weird do doing that I like that it's also like is that a thank you 1997 yeah, cuz I kind of tokenized the idea of like the Asian person It's like it's still you're still a chinito. You know, you're still a chino But you're not really like from from like I think all my Asian friends are called chino at some point At one point or another. Yeah, like that's all you are really. Yeah, I used to men see you used to call me coachy No, because she knows different. That means nasty like you're dirty like a pig. Yeah, I know But I'm Korean and I'm a chino. So you they would say coachy nose. I was like two things. Yeah, that's why I never got that

I always got Buddha's Delight. What people would always call me Buddha's Delight like in Georgia like there's a rest There's a restaurant called Buddha's Delight. That's why they were yeah, that's fat So yeah, but what I'm saying is even though that's fucked up you posting it Makes the sentiment like feels stronger And I can feel like it like at this point in time like can we just look for more things? We have in common versus things that are gonna piss. Oh, so what I did was wrong. No, no, no I'm not saying it's wrong. It needs to be to take it off. Ignite that Sarah Silverman liked it Don't take it off now. Don't take it. I mean Silverman doesn't like any of my shit. This is the first pose

That's the first pose. She liked Generally Koreans and Mexicans. I'm gonna read off all the comic I'm gonna read off all the calm. I'm gonna just show you who liked the photo in terms of comedians. Okay He doesn't matter. He doesn't matter. He doesn't matter when I hear those names He doesn't matter Theo Vaughn that matters Michael Rosenbaum that matters. He doesn't matter What happened and then Sarah Silverman What's going on is it because I said get the fuck out of here like that. No, I this is how I sweat every day in my life I can use this because we sold out basically. Thank you. Yeah, thanks everybody for selling out buying our t-shirt

That's great. You're gonna love it. It's great fabric. It's made out of wool skin Absolutely, it's made out of wool. It's made out of wool. Wolfs again. No, wolves are hard. No, no wolves are hard It's synthetic wolf skin. Okay. Now you think that you have stockers or what? Is that what am I hearing George? You have people that like you who say this Before the thing you said that there was like three or four people on Instagram there's a there's a cult following growing of a George Kimmel pink dick and People are there was a there's a small handful of five people that were Out of the four thousand comments out of the four thousand comments five comments and growing and growing

People demanding for a George Kimmel t-shirt. Can I just say at the bar this morning where we watched the the game There was one guy there who uh, who recognized me local local in Echo Park at the Holloway And what do you say? He said hey, he walked over. He's like you you're George I can't even remember his name. It sounded like yoga. You're a fucking asshole. That's yeah And then so hey, how did it yoga or Yoda and then you took a picture. No, hey, look at me Take a picture. He was wearing a Brazil jersey. No, no, not a chance. Wow But I honestly also believe and maybe I'm wrong But because of the slanny, I think they lost today

Well, they lost to Sweden three zero. That's true. That's I was I'm pretty bummed about it. Brazil look great They did I think they look right at this point. Who do you think is going to be in the in the fine? Um, Fine, well, you can't you you're not gonna be able to I think Belgium is a big Belgium. Yeah, Belgium Belgium France Uruguay Uruguay is a huge contender. I think England still has a chance England you think yeah, what a guy England France does big time because they have France is a huge And but they whatever his name is right Buffy frant. Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah Bugs on it. Bob Buzza on it. Drew's on it. Drew's there. Yeah, Drew's there. Yeah

There yeah, the World Cup this year is the craziest one. I've ever seen not that I've been following it for Maybe four World Cups. I followed the five But this is out of the five that I've seen is the bonk. It's bonkers. I mean look at who's out Spain Did your juggernauts Germany? Argentina Portugal, I guess it's Portugal. No, I wouldn't say Portugal. There's one guy One guy's even weirder is that Italy Italy doesn't have a team the US They're not even in US is not even in an elite in qualifying. Yeah, that's that crazy

You know also the qualify the Netherlands. I know the Netherlands they're a fixture and Because all those guys are old now. Yeah, I mean they I don't know who's who's that flopper van Percy Van Persie have he's too old all those guys. I am Robin. Oh, Robin person. All those guys are old van der Vart You know, but they were great It's a bonkers one and I also need people listening right now If you if you live in the LA area, hopefully we got we got to give a little fitter a home. I

Love them and you know what strengthen my love for them was I saw the movie Isle of Dogs If you if you if you're a Wes Anderson fan You have to watch Isle of Dogs He did the dude is I mean, I don't know if it's I Don't think the mainstream America will get it But he uses a lot of like music from like the original Like back in the Godzilla days

Little croissant while music There's just certain things that he uses. You just even visually that's so him and yet authentically Japanese and just creative and It's just a great movie. It really is great. I love that so much. I've seen it twice already. Yeah It's no hereditary Do you see hereditary yet? Yeah. Oh, yeah, you saw yeah, yeah, but um Yeah, it's just it's it's bonkers out there, you know, and today I just want to get let you guys know that um, I Went into work today

For the my second season and I'm sitting once I walk in The guy Dean this guy named Dean Holland who is the reason why I'm on the show because he worked at love He brought me over He goes, hey come in here and that I keep we walk into a room and guess who the hired as a producer You're not gonna know but I'm gonna tell you a Guy by the name of Scott Sights Scott Sights was my producer at Matt TV For eight years Scott Sights was there at the intervention when I was on drugs

Scott Sights was there when I shit in Dick Bessucci's office He saw he was there when I shit in Ike Barron Altsen's dressing room He was there when I farted in Christopher Anakin's mouth This guy was at every single important moment in your life No, I mean because he was the guy to call me or put me in his office and go Bobby. Why did you do that? He was that guy So I haven't let so when I saw him obviously the hug was deep. I love this dude He's my friend and he was my boss

So then we sit down with Dean and now let me just say this, okay When I was on Matt TV, I was a nightmare Like I'll give you an example. We were sponsored by Yaris In the car. Yeah, the tiny car. It's only a Toyota Yaris So what Matt TV would make us do is, you know, if we wrote a sketch or whatever They go, you won't you're gonna have to say Toyota Yaris in the sketch I'm like, all right, I will but do we get any money? They're gonna know we're getting the money. Oh, right

So, um, we would have to go a Betty You want to go on a date in my Toyota Yaris, wink, wink, wink. It was like terrible So a couple of weeks later, I was just fed up with it And we had one Toyota Yaris that we used in every sketch. That's so weird I stole the keys that you Toyota Yaris And I had Jordan Peele and Ike Bernholz Come in the car Let's go for a joyride

And I took it down an alley and I scraped it against a fucking alley wall On purpose? Yeah And I did $6,000 of damage underneath the car And I brought it back and it was like the thing was falling apart That's how crazy I was And I parked it and I go, there you go And they were like, oh, just I couldn't believe it My behavior

Do you think you're gonna fire it? No I did it because they couldn't fire me You can't do it in the beginning In the beginning they fire you You're a vet But you know where you're in any job Where you go, yeah, I can do this

It was not good But so Scott saw that, right? So now we're sitting down with this Now when I'm on Splitting Up, I'm on time for that one Except for that one time I was late I'm on time I know everyone's name I'm so nice

I don't fart in anyone's mouth I haven't shit on anyone's floor I haven't crashed in anybody's car I'm like, people think I'm a Christian there God bless you Have a fruitful day I say shit like that Have a fruitful day

Yeah, they go, what? He also put his hand on my chest and said, good fortune It's a $20 And then so we sit down with this guy Dean And then Scott goes, oh my God I gotta tell you this one thing that he did And I go, stop I had to yell that, stop

And I told him, they don't know They don't know that He said, I know, but he took his I go, you can't say that He took his dig out and peed on somebody or whatever Right? And then Dean goes, I know that's how he used to be But he's not like that here

Which is great But it could be bad I mean, he could get drunk with them Tell all the stories And be like, tell all the stories And tell the stories But you know, if I'm not like that now, right? That's not gonna affect me

A man can change A man can improve and realize his past You know, transgressions Right? Be fruitful Yeah What a weird week LeBron came

And you know what, and when LeBron came, right I'm like, I thought he was already here You'll never get it right, by the way Because yesterday he came home What? And I sort of got maybe What, he was a LeBron LeBron, yeah

LeBron, James What do you mean? I know your LeBron, James Yeah I can't, I fuck up the first part He always says LeBron Yeah Yeah

Yeah, yesterday he was like, babe, you're a LeBron Yeah, and then, uh, Kouisi Kouisi's gonna come Cowie Cowie Kouisi's gonna come Is he? Yeah

Drake, is he? Yeah, he's doing something Drake just came out with a new album called Scorpion That's what it is Scorpion's great Two-parter He talks about his kids

Only in Emotionless, he does Yeah, yeah So that's how I know Oh, wow, someone's been just You're not coming to the Lakers, though The artist is not coming to the Lakers Yeah Now, let me ask you something

Does that make me Because I don't know I mean, I know how basketball's played Do you like the sport at first? Or not, whatever I played NBA Jam and whatnot Yeah The video games

Yeah I've never been really that into it To be honest with you Give it a try No, I'll tell you the reason why, though Yeah, I wanna know Because aside from Jeremy Lin Mm-hmm

And Yao Ming Just we don't... My people don't play it But why soccer? Because we play it International, I guess No, not internationally When Jisoo Park played for Man U

Sun plays for Tottenham The whole national team The goalkeeper might go to Liverpool now We play it And also, we're good So... It's if the sport was like... Maybe there was like

Seven Asian guys In the NBA And doing well They'd be like, oh Then why don't you watch baseball? So boring I was gonna say So long I'm born

I can't do it It's so slow I don't like... Only play-offs That's all I care about Baseball is the greatest thing You just leave on your TV And just go about your day

I love it so nice to hear it in the background Or when you go And you know you have four hours To enjoy something With your family and friends It's like a family affair I've been to basketball I love basketball

Elevator music Is it what it is? No, you eat peanuts You know, you say seventh inning stretch It's sort of... It feels... There's something nostalgic about it Okay, but for a guy

That doesn't like to talk to other people though So what? I'm there, alright? No, you don't talk to other people You just talk to who you're there with Exactly, I don't want to talk to anybody Even the person I'm there with So like, let's say you and I are there

It's the ninth inning stretch Or whatever, sixth inning Seventh Seventh, whatever it is, right? And you sing a song And nothing's going on You sing a song Right, and I'm eating pop

What did they eat it? You said Pepsi? Or Pepsi? Pepsi peanuts I like fries And fries Oh, you can eat hot dog And I'm like

So what's up, babe? No, we'll be singing No, I'm not singing For one reason He just wants to go Ole, ole, ole It's nice And then I go, what's up?

And she's like Yeah, it's cool It's nice hot, huh? Yeah You think it's boring Until you really invest in a few players And you see one of those Just one time you need to see

That player that you like Hit a home run But while you're in Chavez Reven It's the greatest feeling ever It's so exciting I think it's better live It's kind of like soccer You wait for a long match

And maybe they'll score Maybe they won't The reason why it's not soccer It's amazing Fuck, I love you But the reason why it's not the same Is because soccer is one Continuously

They're constantly in motion You know, soccer's not about scoring It's about fluidity And how they pass And how the communication Between the players It's constantly moving So for me, it's like

Wow, what a great save Or that defender really You know, or he got back there Or man, Messi just Went through six people Didn't score But it's constantly moving It's entertaining in that way

When you see a team That's good defensively When you see a good offense It's entertaining to me But the reason why I don't like baseball Is it's constant stopping They stop People are chewing things

I think if you're a baseball fan It doesn't feel like that It's exciting For me, from start to finish It's exciting I know, but I'm sorry I'll try You don't have to

This season's just long too Playoffs are fun for me But season's so long Yeah, I don't know I just like every sport I can appreciate each sport For what they are You watch golf?

My dad used to watch a lot of golf I would sometimes, but not as I couldn't enjoy it as much as The other ones I will never play golf Have you tried it? I've tried it, yeah You're probably good at it

Because your dad's really good, right? Well, that's the reason why I didn't do My dad fucked it up He should beat me with golf clubs Beat by a driver, so And when he was beating me With the golf clubs I said, I'll never play this

You just ruined the sport for me I'm so glad you didn't beat me With ping-pong paddles Because I love ping-pong Or soccer ball Or soccer ball If he beat me with the soccer ball It would be really a bummer

Oh, man Yeah He did kick me Yeah, I like a soccer ball But yeah, my dad used to And then I used to go with him Some mornings And when you don't play

You're in that little golf cart And he hits it And then what it was I started a fight with two black men And I think he called them Like dad or something And it really put a bad funk in my mouth My dad made it violent

And he didn't make it like nice And then because of the beatings and stuff I just went, you know, fuck the sport And also, it's so elitist It's for rich people Like, when I see Steve run a zizzy In his Instagram With his white shoes

And his stupid white legs And his shorts And then he has his white shirt Tucked into his tan shorts Right? And he's got that white grin on his face And he's got some sort of stupid visor With some fucking symbol I don't like, you know

And he's sitting there with other people Dressed exactly the same as him And they're smiling In the middle of this empty like field It makes me want to shoot him in the fucking eyes Oh, man No, I mean, it makes me want to say Don't do it

That's what I meant to say Don't do it, Steve Yeah, I mean, it's like You know who's another guy that would never play golf? For a fact Crystallia If Crystallia played golf It's the end of the world

He would have a lot to say about it He would never do it He doesn't like sports Oh, that's right He hates sports He thinks it's stupid men Yeah, he hates uniforms He hates the whole thing

If you talk about sports in front of him He'll just walk away He goes, nah, nah, fuck that, fuck that Like, he does not like it And that's why I love Chris I feel like Theo Vaughn would play golf Yeah When he's here in a couple of weeks

Because we have him in a couple of weeks I want to confront him on golf But I feel like he would Yeah, Louisiana Who do comics? What guests have we had? Eric Griffin Definitely a golfer

Joe Coy Probably a golfer Filipino I think he would I think he would play I think not Eddie Pepitone He hates it Really?

Yeah, there's no way Look at his body There's no way He can't swing nothing But I hate that sport But you know what? You know, I hated all sports until soccer So maybe I'll change

I don't know What turned you on soccer? What turned you on soccer? What turned you on soccer? Hmm Hey, well, how'd you discover soccer, Bobby Lee? I already fucking said the story, man Beat by a golf club

You know why I like soccer? I've already said it FIFA Yeah Okay, and then you'll get to Steve, the Xbox 2006, we were at a GameStop Oh, I know, it was at a GameStop Yeah, I'm telling you, it's a GameStop

We're at a GameStop This is insane I can't believe it Hey guys, we got a little off altercation, but everything's fine You guys don't know what happened You don't know what happened, but Imagine, imagine

Just imagine what happened And there was a... It was crazy Well, there was an hour break Hour break? It was an hour break And there was some fighting, but now we're back Who was fighting?

You can't talk about it Baby, don't bring it up again Can't bring it up Can't bring it up What are you doing? Don't bring it up again I need to know Baby...

Do we do another break? Not being real, do we do another one? Let's take another break right now Yeah, take another break We're taking a break, guys Anyway, we're back, we're back, we're back Alright guys, we're good So, let me say something

Being in a closed space like this And I just got off the road, I'm tired And Kalyla's been busy We all have our own little private lives And sometimes we all butt hair heads And we're not going to get into really, you know What it was How long was that one?

That was 45 minutes That was a 45 minutes Yeah So we've been like off the air for an hour and 45 And... It's rough, you know But... You got to power through

What do you power through? We were doing great Yeah You know what I mean? We're doing really good So... Over 45 minutes That's how long it takes to defuse the situation

Yeah Yeah What happened to you, remember? What happened? You said you were a pro Before all this Yeah, yeah I told you last week, remember?

Well, what's the story? Say it again No one knows So, Gobi is a great dog But there are some people that she doesn't like When people are older people that are She hates wobbly humans If...

So the older person isn't walking correctly If... Like young children who are sort of wobbly and unsteady She freaks out and she barks when she's on the leash Yeah Kids? Yeah Hey, fuck you, that's my daughter

Yeah Oh, yeah, sorry Anyway Oh, shit You all right? I think she's just humping you I think she's just humping you And then she started humping me right after

Oh my goodness That was the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life She scratched my head Did that hurt? Did that hurt? Yeah Did it hurt? Yeah

What are you training your animals here? Hey, hey Yeah, yeah Maybe you have a sexy leg I don't know No, now you're going for my crotch Yeah, yeah Sit

Just let him come That's the quickest way Let me come? No, let him come Can a puppy come? I don't know, I don't think so Dude, you're racially gay What happened with a dog?

What happened? I don't like it, I'm not going to compare it to that moment Yeah, go ahead So what happened? So remember how I was saying earlier that like We've kind of, we've lost our minds And this country is so divided And everything is just

Everyone's just trying to find something to hurt them And it's just not a good The vibe is not generally good Yeah And it couldn't have been more evident Than when I was walking Gobi And every time I see that someone approaching I always pick her up

And I don't always pick her up But I take her further away from them Just so she doesn't pop off Just so I don't have to like deal with With judgy people saying, you know Like control your dog or whatever Because that should like annoys me So if you come into the entrance of our condo

There's a side entrance And there's a front entrance, right? And two guys were coming in So I left the door open for them As I was coming out So I was coming out with a dog I saw that they were coming in So there's usually a code to get in our building

So instead of them having to punch the code I was like, hey, they're coming in So I left the door open I picked Gobi up And I went away from them I went the other way To kind of avoid them And then as they were opening the door

That I had left open for them These two dudes kept staring at me like hard And so I kind of stared back at them Like, why are they staring at me? And then I got a little like defensive Because I'm like, are they gonna fucking Like, what are they? They look pissed at me

Yeah And then the dude came over Like kind of like aggressively And he was like, you had a problem? He's like, do you have a question for me? And I was like, what? And he was like, you're looking at me Like I'm gonna steal something

And I'm like, are you? So you know, because in that moment I just wanna avoid the situation Wait, wait, wait, wait No, let me guess They look like George That's what I was gonna ask No, they're Mexican

That's exactly what I was thinking Why are you laughing? Nothing Okay, continue So, um And I was like, wait, no I was just trying to take my dog away Because she's kind of an asshole

And I just walked away And I was like, hey, sorry, sorry, sorry Because I just avoid Because I'm a fucking spineless bitch And I was like, sorry, sorry, sorry And I like walked away I didn't mean anything by that But then I sat there

And I started like really getting pissed off Like why did this motherfucker just Accused me of being You know, basically being racist When I just left the door open To the whole building, right? So after like thinking On the grass patch for three minutes

I went over there I went inside the building And I went to go find them Because I couldn't live with myself Yeah, yeah Let me just say the same thing right now This is what we're learning, right? Because we've been talking about stuff like this

Where we regret not speaking up The movie theater Yeah, like the movie, yeah So we're speaking up now Kalyla and I We might die one day Stop it From it

But we're not gonna let people walk over us So go ahead, babe But I didn't even try to find them To like be confrontational in that way I just wanted to I was sad about it And so I went over I knocked on the door

And I was like, hey dude I was like, don't come at me like that Of all the people in this building I am the last person Who would profile you I left the fucking door open for you If I gave a shit And I fucking cared

If I was suspicious Why did I leave that door open for you? Yeah And he walked closer and closer and closer to me And then he realized Oh, she's dressed sloppier than me She has tattoos Oh, she might be just as brown as me

And then he realized that he had profile From a distance He probably thought I was just some rich white girl Walking, you know, outside of, you know Walking her dog Yeah And I was like, I pulled my dog away from you Because my dog's an asshole

Yeah But eventually he apologized He was like, sorry for the misunderstanding Whatever, whatever But I was like, it made me feel so sad That this dude Nine out of ten times he would have been correct Nine out of ten times

If someone looked at him that way Coming into a building Especially on Beachwood here He probably would have been right And the reason I tell you he's right Is because I have, you know, at the app next door And all my neighbors All that you see every day

Popping up a notification Suspicious black man standing outside Or suspicious Latino man standing outside Like mining their own fucking business Like this neighborhood does that So it made me I understood where he was coming from That he felt that he had to confront me about it

But it was just a wrong person Can I just say something though? And I felt bad after a while Yeah, but the thing is is that You know, even me, like when I'm hatchet What do you mean by hatchet? Sometimes I'm a haggard and hatchety Like ratchet

Ratchet I just make up my own words Like hatchet? Like a hatchet? Yeah, like I'm like, am I like a hatchet? I just made up a word A hatchet face is like Yeah, that's what I am

Sometimes I have like A butter face Sometimes I'll have like You know when I wake up And I forget to put the acne I have acne medicine I use Persegel on my face And sometimes I wake up

I forget that, you know Sometimes you've seen me Where I have white on my face And my hair is all fucked up And I wear t-shirts with holes in it I've been at the airport Where a white mother will If I'm walking

She'll bring the baby Or a kid close to her To protect her from me Right? I don't think to myself What are you profiling me? I think, yeah I would too

I look awful I look suspicious You know, I would do that if You know, if somebody that looked like me Came toward my kid I mean the same thing happened to me in DC I was at the DC improv And you know who Bill Cosby is?

I think I know who he is Yeah, he's a comedian Very funny Think about the artist, yeah Very talented He had his own show too What's that show called? The Cosby Show

Oh, yeah And he was one of my favorite movies Ghost at What? Yeah, yeah It's a great movie Do you know who Bill Cosby is? Are you all right?

Do you know who Barack Obama is? What? Oh, we're making up names now He's making up names Anyway, so there's a hot dog place That Bill Cosby and Barack goes to And I'm walking into the place But as I'm walking

Like, I'm literally 20 feet from the door I had this thought in my head Where the fuck's my hotel key? So I put my hand in the back of my Where I put my hotel key And it was there But as I'm doing that I'm walking by a black eye

I swear to God Yeah, yeah And as I'm doing that, he goes What, man? You think I'm gonna fucking steal? And I go, no, my hotel key And he just left Right?

And I kept mumbling myself I don't know what the hotel key is Like that? Yeah And I never confronted him I would have now What would you have said? No, dude, I was looking for my hotel key

While you were You just happened to be walking by But you want my money? You can have my money I don't give a fuck I'm the last person Same thing as you Yeah, but I told that dude

And he kind of like chuckled But I was like, dude, that shit hurt my feelings It hurt my feelings What he thought And he was like And he laughed And he was like, why would that hurt your feelings? I was like

You basically accused me Of seeing two Mexican guys And then thinking that you guys Were gonna rob my building And I told him, I was like I don't care if that's funny But that shit hurts my feelings And eventually we squashed it

And we had like a good conversation Out of it or whatever But it just makes me sad That it's come to that Where, you know, he did He's lived a life where he feels the need To defend himself in that way But he also does it maybe so frequently

That he targets the wrong person So I felt fucking profiled For being a racist I was like, shit, this is all going awry Like this is the problem with this country I don't know why But this reminded me of another thing That happened to me when I was in ninth grade

So my friend Mark Not my friend I mean, Mark was But Mark Golden was my friend But there was another guy named Art Kimball And I guess they took some sort of biology class And then like I was at the library And they'd learned this new thing

At biology class And they walked up to me And they go, hey, we just want to let you know Dude, you're not gonna survive Survived Just in general In life? Yeah

So I go, why? Because we just survival the fittest You know, we're with alpha And we're strong You're small and you're weak And you're not gonna survive And I remember tears rolling up on my head I'm gonna die

Oh my gosh Right, like they had just learned it too If I could do it now I was like, no I'm, you know I'm surviving Yeah But I just remember

You know, when kids just come and just Say shit Did she just hurt your fucking feelings, man? She just walked up to you We're alpha You won't survive Yeah Because they learned the stupid fucking thing

In biology class Alpha Rich kids won't survive No, the rich kids will survive No No, they won't Because if you think about how things happen in nature Oh, you mean it went in an apocalyptic moment

Listen So when people If you look at any ecosystem Any type of intermediate disturbance Whether it's a fire Or like hardships Anything Any kind of hardship that an ecosystem goes through

Is in the long term better for the species You have more diversity You have more They'll evolve to kind of figure out their environment A little better When things live in absolute comfort And no disturbance They devolve

They lose the capability to survive Yeah So in life Intermediate or some disturbance Is actually a positive thing It forces you to grow It forces you to be stronger It forces you to evolve

So like comforts are not a good thing You gotta kind of Maintain that grit, you know? Yeah, but you're talking in the scenario If there was like an apocalyptic moment Where the government shuts down And we have to survive in that way But these two kids are Kimball and Mark Golden

Were saying in modern times I wasn't gonna say They took it out of context Yeah, in prehistoric times Maybe it was survival of the fittest But in modern times It doesn't really, right? If the government's working

And it's a capitalistic society It's not the guy that's the strongest, right? Physically It's the guy with the money It's the guy with the money It's the guy who has the smarts The kid, Hasan Who opened for me in San Antonio

If you were in San Antonio Ways 63 pounds He's 20 years old Yeah, he's Indian, right? Balding He looks like a fucking insect His whole body I go, how do you even move?

You have no muscle And he goes, hey man This is what he looks at me You know I'm a doctor, right? Oh shit Oh wow, he is And I go, I'm a doctor And I just said

Fuck it, I want you to stand up You know my dad's the head of NASA, right? What? It is His dad is the head of NASA I googled it Yeah The head

My mom She's the head She has her own dentistry I have so much money I don't even have to fucking do this I'm doing it out of the Because I love comedy He's very funny by the way

This kid right here Is the alpha male In modern times Now if society breaks down And there's zombie apocalypse And we need to, you know When physical strength and And that isn't played

Then maybe that applies But these two fucking idiots In high school were, you know what I mean? They took it out of context They don't know what the fuck they're talking about Yeah, Art Kimball is not a survivor I challenged him to a duel Well I mean, Art Kim

Do you know what he's doing now? No, I mean, if I saw him I would like to hang out I liked him Actually, Art Kimball, if you're listening Let's compare your career I want to be cast away with you On an island and do naked and afraid

And I'm not a very healthy person I have a heart condition But Art Kimball, I will last longer than you Baby, don't fucking make fun of Art Kimball I have your back I'm just defending you I know, I mean Art Kimball wasn't, you know

That nice to me in high school Yeah, you made a cry Are you still like He also dunked my head in a toilet Oh yeah So are you traumatized by this And like, afraid to upset him even now? Yeah, I'm afraid to upset him

Oh my god Don't fuck with Art Kimball Don't fuck with Art Kimball I'll fuck with Art Kimball Please don't I'll fuck with Art Kimball I love Art Kimball He ducked my head

I do, I love him He ducked my head in a toilet I'm a coward, yeah I was always afraid of I'm afraid of bullies So they were bullies and your friend Yeah, I mean, I was a bully But remember, my brother

Remember that There's a guy, Derek Who looked like a son, the opener Yeah He used to pick on I used to He had ice cream in his hand I smushed in his face

Dude Yeah, I did all that I heard people hurt people Right, but then he challenged me He goes, that's it On the bus Remember I told you that Yeah

He goes, that's it I forgot about that We're fighting I go, oh yeah You little bitch Right We meet on a dirt road He kicked the living shit out of me

And then And then And then The next day I was like a nerd too I was like hanging out with him He took a flute I went and took a flute class

I didn't give him a fuck No, I didn't I took a flute class A flute I'll be a flutist Okay But I thought I was like, you know A flutter

Yeah, I'm not like that Yeah, but No, bullies are important, man You need it Yeah, there's bullies in comedy now Yeah, I really do I mean, I don't want to say I mean, he's super nice

But Rogan Joe Rogan He's not a bully He's not a bully but you know Like the other day I was like Standing outside the comedy store And he didn't make contact

But he started running down sunset You know what I mean? And he goes, Lee! Or something He says my name And he goes, hiya! And he does a kick But he's

He misses my leg by like an inch That's how That's how You know what I mean? Good he is So much control But he had so much power behind it Right And I made a noise

I went, ah! Like that Dormit laughed at me And he kind of laughed He walked away And I went, ah! He did And I was like, that's kind of

You know Or when Bill Burr Like, you know what I mean? He talks to me about You got to have a kid Yeah It'll change your life The other night he was doing that

And me just listening Like I don't ever throw my opinions And then when I did You know what he said? I got to go home No, because I go Me and Kelana were thinking I got to go home

I can't And then he got in the car And he drove away I can't even say my opinion No, but there are bullies in You know I'll tell you In the comedy scene

Here's the guy Here's the guys that play both sides The guys that are like You know, the cool kids That hang out with the hesshers You know who one of them is I realized Tom Segura Really?

Yeah, because I was bullying Craig So Craig, one of my openers He was like I'm not going to say what he did But he crossed the line with me And so I cornered him He just offered me a kayak He just texted me

Yeah, because I yelled at him So I cornered him If you ever fucking do that again I swear to fucking God, I'll bury you And then Tom came up And goes, hey guys And he shook my hand He shook his hand

And then he shook everyone's hand And everyone's like, hey Tommy You know what I mean? He's the popular kid in high school Yeah He's not a bully Yeah Yeah

Shafir, bully Bully Who else is a bully? Delia is popular kid Then there's Jocs Brent Ernst Wow, it's a high school Joc

There are Jocs Sebastian Manoskako, Joc You know, and then there are like sorority girls Eliza Schlesinger Sorority girl Hi Or like the popular girl Who doesn't even say hi to you anymore

Yeah Like I can't even say hi to her Who are the known nerds? Ali Wong Ali Wong is the nerd that everyone knows Is going to be president of the United States So she becomes class president That's Ali Wong

And then there are ones that are like just, you know, the The nobodies And there's a lot of them You know the nobodies? Let's not say the names I'm not going to say the names But there's like a slew of nobodies They just hang around, right?

And they just know they're never going to do anything Yeah, there's, you say hi to them too They're human beings Oh, I know one major one I know, don't say the names Don't say the names Don't say the names Ooh, I want to so bad

But you know what, dude? It's like, you know, you should, I know my position in the world My position, and because there's laws in this country That protect me from physically getting harmed And if I get harmed, I can sue or call the cops or whatever So, you know, I'm willing to play a victim every once in a while Especially in the comedy scene Yeah, but I'm still a popular kid

Right? Yeah I'm still a part of the popular cool group You know, Jim Carrey knows me That's what's up Carrey important This is an important fact In case you didn't hear it

Jim Carrey knows Bobby Bob Saget knows me Bob Saget You know, who else knows you Well, Bob Saget says condescending things, I think You going to get naked again? He always says that every time I see him And I want to go, you know what, Bob?

I don't do that I do, but tell him I don't You know, also the cool kid? Spade, David Spade He does snide comics You know what I mean? Yeah We just come from the, you know, a circus

What kind of sandals are those? You know, just walk away And everyone will laugh because it's David Spade And then I'll laugh, even though it hurts me Circus! Right, but it's like, you know what I mean? Yeah, I'll get angry a little bit He does come home, and he'll be like, babe, are these sandals?

I do You're really affected by it Yeah, yeah, yeah And he'll go, babe, Rogan said these pants Yeah, yeah, yeah I should never wear these pants on stage again I do do that Like, Jeff Ross says something to the other day

He's like, you're on a show, right? I go, yeah Do you have a wardrobe department? Dang I go, yeah Can you just ask for clothes? And I'm like, why clothes now? Last week, he bought a really cool looking, bright colored

Moncler jacket, Vest, and he wore it to the comedy store And he was really excited to show his friends His new thing, and he came home and he was really bummed out He's like, babe, I shouldn't wear this on stage again Yeah Yeah, and then now he hates his $800 Moncler vest No, you can't have that I'm going to try to work it

I'm going to give it off Slowly You know what else I've been doing with that jacket? What? I've been googling the jacket and other people wearing it Who else wears it? To see what I need to be wearing with it Oh, like the whole outfit

Like the models, you know what I mean? See, look at the model Yeah, yeah, and I go, oh, I got to do that But all the models are good looking But what do they wear? What do they wear for pants or camo pants? Well, they just wear clothes I don't even fucking have Yeah

Like other Moncler pants You know, so it's like, yeah, people may find me all night I like your style Yeah What are you, a jelly belly? You know what I mean? People are saying with my jacket on It's yellow

Are you wearing a vest? Because I'm yellow skinned Damn, he's probably stuck with you It was one night, though The first night I fucking wore the fucking thing I remember it because you wore it Yeah, I haven't worn it since I remember he was checking himself in the mirror

You're like, guys, fuck you Yeah, yeah, yeah I regret it, getting it I thought you were going to get the more expensive one, too Yeah, I should have got the more expensive one But, um... Yeah, so, you know, I mean, I still get bullied But you know what?

We should do, we should do, we should speak up for ourselves, though Everyone listening now, Slepkin said Speak up for yourself Don't die, read the situation But, you know, you should always just... I just have this inner thing of like I have to just take it, but I don't... And the prime example is the movie with hereditary

When we did that, you know But that was a weird podcast, huh? Oh, we're stopping? Don't we have questions? No, we do have questions I'm just saying, was it weird? What'd you think of it? I thought it was so weird

Except for the hour and 45 where we got in a fight Well, that was a long gap That was such a long break Everybody on three Sorry on three One, two, three Sorry Sorry

Before we get to the question, though Do you want to get quick thoughts on The biggest fight of the year Just really quick picks Who? D.C. and Home Depot D.C. and Home Depot versus Daniel Cormier

It's a super fight It's a super fight And it's... I mean, I think that Cormier I think Cormier He's so hard this one Just pick it, go He's the Cormier

It's so hard But I love D.C. just a little bit more So I hope it's D.C. I'll tell you also, Cormier, why is that The only loss he's had is to John Jones The greatest fighter ever In UFC history, I believe But you also have to realize that, you know

Stipe is somebody that He's a beast So many people sort of didn't believe him Until he beat his 10th person, you know He beat Engano When he beat Engano, I was like, oh This guy is no joke I'm not saying, I'm not

I'm not ripping on Stipe I think Stipe is probably the best heavyweight They've ever had The longest champion The longest champion He's very good, consistent I would like to see Cain Velazquez to come back But that would be cool

But we want D.C. But obviously And then the other fight, obviously I want... Max Holloway or Ortega? Ortega for sure We can't say that we're going to be in Hawaii We can't say we're rooting for Hawaii

I'm not going to say it there Okay, we're going to pretend we're like For Max Holloway, right? But T-City is... I've been a fan of his for a very long time And The way he finished Frankie Edgar Was magnificent

He hit him like a baby Like he hit a kid Frankie left the canvas And flew backwards And he could choke out people He could do everything But can I just say something? Again, like Stipe

Max Holloway, no joke Max Holloway is a warrior And So dangerous Very dangerous Who else is fighting? Those are the two big fights And then the smaller fights

Like Francis Nganu and Derek Lewis That should be fun That'll be fun Derek Lewis is a big guy Very strong I'll stand up Yeah, it'll be great Mike Chiesa and Anthony Pettis

I don't know Anthony Pettis is kind of... Are you over him? He's good He's good He's a journeyman Six losses though Top of the world

Top of the world That's kind of it That's it? I'll still watch it How come there's only one girl fight? Is it Jamie Moyle? I know Yeah, there's only one girl fight

It's the first fight Everything else is guys Yeah, I thought that was kind of... Unhelpful advice Do it That was... wow Unhelpful advice Worth buying

I want to try to do it And collide with Unhelpful I want to try Unhelpful advice Why'd you say it again? You saw it so southern I want to do it my own style

Unhelpful advice with Bobby and Kalyla Unhelpful advice with Bobby and Kalyla You seem to be having trouble I want to hear this Unhelpful You do it Unhelpful It's the worst thing I've ever heard

Try it Go deeper You got to go deeper He went higher Unhelpful advice with Bobby and Kalyla Unhelpful advice with Bobby You have no base to your voice at all Is mine good though?

Yeah, it's pretty good You're pretty good Unhelpful advice Unhelpful advice with Bobby and Kalyla Literally it's like Michael Clark ducking in Green Mile Alright, do it You have to do yours first Oh, no, no, no

You have to try it, baby You have to try it She almost went to an accent Yeah, yeah, yeah Deep in Go deep Go deep, babe Go deep, babe

Go deep It's not like Coinda Come into it, babe Don't do Coinda, do it I have a pretty manly voice I know Unhelpful advice with Bobby Why are you making me do that?

Because I love it Finish it Start for the tongue Okay, okay, okay Okay, okay, okay I'm sorry Oh, god I love it

I love it Get it out, just get it out Get it out Unhelpful advice with Bobby and Kalyla I want everyone on video to watch her face while she does it You look so dumb Why didn't you contour your face like that? This is your neck

So funny This is your neck, Kalyla So, yeah, yeah It's so funny It's like a turtle Oh, god, that was so good So hard Oh, thank you so much

What's up, Tiger Ballet Crew? Tiger Ballet Crew, first off, the last podcast with Adam Ray was hilarious, almost shit at work Anyways, I was adopted from Seoul and fresh out of the oven I was flown to California where I grew up outside of Fresno I don't have any info on my birth parents other than my mom's name and the district I was born in I've been getting these strong urges the past couple of years to try and find her And I've decided that when the time's right, I'll move there for a couple of years I got one big problem, though

I'd be leaving everything behind I guess you could say I got everything I need here Family, friends, girlfriend, desk job But honestly, I'd give that all up just to find my birth mom and learn more about my country Hell, I even watched this just in some alley if that's what it takes to survive Oh, my god I've only had a few people tell me about this idea and they all say this won't do anything for my future or career I know you probably had to make huge life changes

So my question is how do you deal with all the pushback and keep your goals in sight? Also, what kind of friends do you have if all they think there is in life is your future or career? What about your soul? Yeah What about the things that actually matter? The easy for them to say, they have their birth parents But it's not going to take two years Also, why would meeting your birth mother have to be such a drastic thing?

I mean, I get that Especially, you know, here's a guy who was adopted probably by white people It's always the case So that's the assumption I'm going to make What do you mean? He was adopted, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah And he had white parents that adopted him

You're Asian, you grew up in this white house I can only imagine that your whole life you're like, I mean, I love these people and they love me and I love them like my parents But, you know, you want to long for your own flesh And where you came from and, you know, and, you know, your little personality quirks and stuff Like I know where I get When I look at my brother and he gets rageful, I know he gets that from my dad, it's cute You know, some of my, you know, loud, you know, things that I do in public is from my mom, it's cute And I know where I get it from

I also know in terms of like diseases like my dad has high blood pressure and stroke and all those things You just want to know what you're made of and who you are And I think I get it, but I don't think it's going to take two years You have to live in the streets like, you know, I think that It doesn't have to be that dramatic, I don't think You could maybe spend a couple of months Hi, Remy Why don't you just find her and then take like a 10-day trip out here to meet her

If she's even open to that She might not be open to it, it's not She might not want to You know So you also have to prepare yourself for the fact that that's a possibility that someone does not want to meet the son that they I know, but you know what, it's like, if I, even if right now, I've imagined me like, you know, on stage And some kid that kind of looks like me Closet to me out in the show and go, hey, I just want to let you know you're my dad

Your reaction What? Who's your mom? Let's just say Jennifer Field Very specific Very specific Or, you know, any of her might get me or, you know, whatever, whoever Yeah

Or like, I remember I had sex with a girl from Portland And I did it with no condom So it says it was her, right? And he's like, yeah, so I forgot her name, let's just say Is that the girl who came to your show and would try to give you like nipple tassels as gifts? No, no, no, that's not her Okay That's so weird, okay

And I said, oh, is that girl, and then I would be like, oh, fuck, I never knew He's like, I know, but yeah, I just wanted to meet you And I'd be like, well, you want to have lunch? I mean, I would want to know what his life was like You know what, you know, everything about him, I want to know everything about him And if he didn't want to know me or any of that, then that's fine, that's his prerogative But for me, I would want to be a part of his life in some degree Like, can you imagine, you know, Julie, my niece who was with us for three months

Her dad wants nothing to do with her life Can you imagine that she's such a great girl He's missing out It's insane that people do that But I had to fart, hold up Oh, God But strong Yeah, I took a modium to AD, that's why

Oh So I know that it's shit-free That's why I pulled it out, you know, I could put the strength in it Anyway, dude, I did, dude, I was on, I was just a side track My second show in San Antonio, a Saturday night Maybe like 80% of my act is done And I had a big fart And I just stopped the show and I was like, hey, guys, do you mind if I just fart in the mic to see what it sounds like?

And the whole guy goes, yeah I farted in such a way that it was a two-minute laugh Like, it literally, I did it, it went like, like that, that's what it sounded like It had like nine different sounds to it You know, like that And it just caused an eruption of laughter And I was laughing too And it just was a minute, couple of minutes

Anyway Do you guys know the Instagram account? See your mom I think it's called Just Farts, let me see No, oh, that's cool It's the greatest thing, you guys have to follow Just Farts Wait, let me make sure that's the correct While you do that

Yeah, it is, Just Underscore Farts And here, I'll show you, it's just a guy in the dark recording his farts How do you know it's real though? What do you mean? He's like, Just Farts, his bio is, come check out my farts, 100% real farts DM me your farts if you want to be featured Bob, you gotta do it This video clip, send it in

I don't know, let me see this one Yeah, that was his latest one Is it videos or just all black? He only has 600 followers I don't know How did you discover that? How did you find that if it's 600 followers? He has 600 followers and he's following 4,000 people

The only way you could find someone like that is if you actually searched Farts on Instagram No, I think one of your... We gotta find one that mimics yours Oh my god, that was a good one That's great Like all these comedians follow Okay, so that's I think one of your openers, I think Craig actually Yeah, Craig, yeah, yeah

So anyway, this guy, back to this guy, I would retire on my farts He's like, I want to see my mom You have every right to look And if she was a decent human being, I think She'd want to meet you And I think I would go for it But don't live out there for 2 years and become a dishwasher Yeah, I think there are ways to reunite

Without having to give your entire life away And also, if your friends aren't supportive Weird, yeah I find that to be really weird Yeah, that's weird Hello, mommy All the dogs are coming in here Is there a wearer of the fact that maybe she was like some

You know, horrible, crazy person Baby, baby, baby, no, no, no Because the puppy, babe, don't put puppy on the table The puppy will fall Oh well It'll break its bones? Yes, okay She's got a puppy off

Oh my gosh Get the puppy Any shows for Bobby? No shows When's your next show, babe? I don't remember Go Bobby Lee Live Show of life

You go to Portland pretty soon Yeah, my neck hurts so bad, okay But anyway, that was a weird podcast But you know what guys, they're not all Home runs Home runs, but this was There were some interesting things in there I saw the triple

I thought there was some good stuff in there A triple Yeah I thought there was some good stuff in there Well, we're leaving for Hawaii We're going to Hawaii Also, I know that we have a lot of fans on Oahu Which is not where we're going

We're going to Kauai Why would you say that? They're like, oh So come to Kauai So what I'm saying is if you live in Kauai And, because Bobby sleeps all day And I'm looking for someone to hike with Or

If you're a woman A woman If you're a woman I'm looking for someone to hike with And someone to keep an eye on me You see a picture of her? They all look like Jason Momoa Oh yeah, that would be amazing

Oh yeah, yeah No, no, no Or someone to keep an eye on me Tony Thornberg and Justin Momoa While I dive Yeah That would be great I'll go

You're not going to come with You're going to wake up at like 3 p.m. No, I'll dive You're not I am Yeah Yeah I can't wait for you guys to watch the fights

In the bar there Anyway, so any announcements to our shout outs Or first shout outs from both of you No, thanks everybody for For jumping on the website Getting the merch Oh, that's right Thank you so much

Thank you guys We actually doubled the amount Of merchandise that we put out this time And it still went pretty fast Yeah It is It is 10.52 p.m. Same day

On July 2nd And I think we only have 10 shirts left Yeah So We kept our word Released at 10 So If you're still complaining

Saying I didn't get it You got to beat the people That set the alarm Yeah You guys really set your alarm Yeah, it was Because at 10 a.m. I think that's

It went quick It went really, really fast And shout out to your niece People love the beautiful model If you're listening to this She's probably not listening to this She's not listening to this Jules, you're beautiful

She's so sweet And she probably Felt so uncomfortable Being photographed She killed it though Yeah, she's beautiful Isn't that crazy How her whole life

She's felt inferior to her peers Because people know What for? That she's too She's too dark Because of That's Filipino culture That TV show

Everyone is Those whitening products That they just throw in your face That they put out on TV And I'm like, my god, Jules And all the celebrities I feel like are all half Yeah

They always have something Yeah So, yeah It's a pity But she's beautiful And then Fritter is still up for adoption Yeah, you can go to

At Mayday Rescue That's M-A-E-D-A-Y Rescue Boom And I think that's all I have On my end Yeah So make sure you follow us

On Instagram At Tiger Belly On Twitter At the Tiger Belly And email us any questions Or on helpful advice At the Tiger Belly at gmail.com You can follow Kalala

And all social media at Oh, at Calamity K Also, I'm being real About the whole Kauai thing Yeah How would you like people To reach out to? Do you want to do a fan meet-up?

I don't want to do a fan meet-up I want to go hiking And I don't want to go Where all the tourists are going I want you to take me On a moderate hike To that Where I won't run into

A lot of other people But also beautiful and happy Two to three miles So long Yeah, I could go even four or five I'm cool with that Let's do something Kind of a busy trail

Just so you don't get murdered Also, you have If I have I have to cross-reference Like your Instagram There's got to be like Real images there Like if you're contacting me

And it's like There's no photos Have a tar Yeah You have to be a real person But I'm being serious Because I know Bobby's Just going to sleep for a whole week

Yeah So let's say You should DM Kolyla And then she'll But also, no I'm like a really awkward person In real life Not really

And I might sweat a lot That's true And so if I'm A little bit Like standoffish a person Don't take it personally Right, George? No, you're super nice

I think you're super nice I'm nice eventually But I'm a little bit like Like I do this Oh, you do pull back I pull back I've seen you meet so many people I've introduced you to

Really like 15 minutes 15 minutes about Yeah And then I get real nice It's more like you're just really Just analyzing I don't analyze

I just observe and make sure That they're not going to judge me For like sweating on their shirt Because that's why I like Gosh I don't want to like Shake their hands

Like I want to For some reason Like I got to be like Hey, just so you know Like I'm just I'm wet My whole body is wet That's why I'm trying to

Like keep it safe distance Yeah, let's not make that As the opener of meeting people And what's up I'm so sorry I'm just wet So watch me do a low voice Watch my neck

Okay Was I Was I worse than George? The voice was fine It was more the physical Like motions of your face And what your cheeks did I was like

How did she move her cheekbones To a different location On her face You know what's so sad Is that I have a pretty big mouth Yeah But I don't utilize it The way I could

You know how Julia Roberts Like when you When she speaks Her smile It's like the best I don't have a I have a deep mouth I have a wide mouth

But I don't use it To its full capacity I should Ten dicks this way Yeah, I was about to say You're just giving the You're giving the internet I have so much meme

And audio cuts I've been thinking about Doing vocal coaching too Yeah, that's That's exactly what I was thinking You can sing, right No, not at all Just hold out this note

Ah Ah 30th percentile I know this Oh, damn it Hold it out after I do it Ah Ah

George Ah I know I'm not good at singing I have the words I just like here you go Great rhythm Ah I know it's off

Ah All I know is it's off I don't know which way it's off That's George, where can we follow you? George underscore Kimmel I really like your shirt And you look very handsome today, George

Why, thank you Yeah After she shut you down I guess What did I say? I don't know, but it was hurtful He was actually sad You were you sad when I said

Look, here's what I think I thought your interpretation was so wrong That I was like Like you thought with the guy Picking up your dog I was like I was like that's You profiled me

You profiled him I profiled you I'm sorry Classic profiler collage I'm sorry Look, George I know I'm a major proponent For putting your face on Allmerch

And I've been the one person I know I'll never get my face on Allmerch So I don't want you to be awkward Like saying no, you know I'm trying to shut down comments I want the other one Okay, okay I want your face on all the stuff we have

Except that when we have artists submit stuff Yeah, I know People gotta draw him in Yeah, so if you're an artist And you want your stuff on a shirt I had George in there That 80's trio actually Yeah, originally was just the three of us

We really don't design shirts Or tell artists what to do They do it No, we just find stuff, yeah We find stuff We like just audience inspiration You guys just do it Oh, shit, I forgot to tag the artist

On the shirt We'll tag it I forgot it He's awesome He's a really cool guy When we find out Because he actually works in LA He has a lot of billboards

He's legit Oh, of course Look at that The thing he drew for us That guy's amazing But yeah Follow us all on social media Make sure you check Bobby's tour dates

On bobbyleelive.com And guys That's my shirt Hey, Prime members You can listen to Tiger Barely Ad-Free On Amazon Music Download the Amazon Music app today Or you can listen to Ad-Free

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