TigerBelly - Episode 151: A Horse Named Sizzler

Episode Date: July 18, 2018

Bobo is a cowboy. Khaloko feeds the fishes. We talk the dangers of listerine, a goofy gelding, an energy vortex, and the isle of manifestation.Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Hey Five four three two one Aloha malo Bobby here Hey, brah. Hey brah Welcome to another episode of Tiger Belly. I'm captain Bob Kalyla George Gilbert. They're unfortunately here with me

They're unfortunately in the room with me and that's fine. I want to thank the island of Kauai for being there. I Was afraid that we were gonna land that it wasn't gonna be there for some reason but it was there Oh natural and not only that, um The Dalai Lama goes to Kauai and there's a was it called portal? Yeah, like and Polly Halle Beach is supposed to be a portal where people who are transitioning from From living to death. Yeah, they're way out or something like that There's some like energy vortex or energy vortex and then some guy. I'm gonna tell you what happened

Yeah, so I'm in the pool at the St. Regis. We had a butler. It's fine. Oh, we're fine. It's classy That's it, you know, and we're after it was great. You know, we bring the door. You made it make some coffee. It's fine Never had a butler before but anyway, so I'm in the pool one night and all of a sudden here Bobby and I look up and it's Mitch Hurwitz and He created a little show called off. What's it called? Arrested development. That's small thing. Yes, and we talked for a bit and then this kid Comes out of nowhere from the pool from the depths of the pool. He pops his head up and he goes Bobby Lee So I go, are you some sort of merman child? What's going on here?

And he goes, you know about the vortex He goes, this is the island of manifestation And then Mitch's gets up and he leaves It's just too hippy to talk for him. So I'm floating there with this white dude We're floating together in this pool, right? Where's the vortex tell me about the Dalai Lama or whatnot Anyway, he goes, but if you get close to it military comes and they take you away Like these men in suits they come and they take you away

And he goes the Dalai Lama came and he put a ribbon around a tree, but if you you can't get near the tree That's where the vortex is. But if it's the island of manifestation, I manifested all kinds of shit and that it would what a beautiful island it's my favorite island of all the Hawaiian islands and I want to do a shout out to so we're at a restaurant and You know, it's a nice what's it's called arm. That's what I was that was that was barracuda barracuda and we're eating and all of a sudden Another dish comes to the table that didn't order and it's from the restaurant next door And the guy goes he's a tiger belly fan No, he serves it and he's like the sotras papaya. He's in the end of sotras papaya to me fried chicken

Yeah buns a jolly fat fella. I know this guy Aaron. Yeah. Yeah, he's not fat. We stick He used to be fat. He's just on the keto diet right now. Oh really? Yeah. Well, there you go I can sense fat even when they don't have the fat It says the former fact the former fact see the aura of the former fat and that's my one of my gifts but um, yeah, he's a great restaurant called Amma and If you're in Koi go visit. It's a great place. It really is a great island and um, we went horseback riding he was he was He was so sweet because like he was telling us that a week before he had turned away Julia Roberts

Yeah, and yeah, and Bobby was like, well, who would you open up this restaurant? Who would you, you know? Open it back up for and he was like Barack Obama or whatever and he was like honestly you guys This is what he said. He's what he texted me. Yeah, go ahead. We were talking. I didn't know you guys were you met him I don't really get phantom boy But I really got nervous talking to them and I was I literally turned Julia Roberts away two weeks ago from the restaurant Because she showed up ten minutes after we closed without batting an eye, but at first with Bobby and Clara I was shuddering Well, I was shuddering from his food. It was really dynamic white guy cooking and pan asian and I just we just got a letter

Really good a letter and I'm gonna just read it and this is from him though It's not from him, but I just want to say this, okay? I want to say this to all you listeners the sleepers out there. Yeah, and the little and the nappers No, so Yeah, you my friends. Okay, because let me tell you something. All right, I Was on the brink of suicide before this podcast We're gonna do double suicides you would have never even heard from us Yeah, and the love and the affection and the support that we're getting

All right, so I'm gonna tell you something right now. This is a letter that I was sent. Hello tiger belly love it It was with great respect and gratitude that I spent sending this gift the shirt that I'm wearing. It says what does it say hey? Sending this gift to the slept king Bobby Lee. I saw this and knew that I must get this for the fearless leader I do not want to wait until November 19th Molestation day to send it. I hope it isn't tight enough and I just gotta just read that little proportion because number one He respects malestation day. Yes, he knows the date. Yeah, I fucking forgot the date I forgot to yeah, but oh every time on the 19th of November my penis hurts And that's how I know it's a molestation day. I can't touch him. You can't touch me

She cannot touch me. Do you do that? You just know my just my ass will quivers. It's crying. Oh Yeah, my butthole cry. Yeah, and So anyway, I would all respect to you guys. I really appreciate it and And um, but um, it's interesting because of what's going on now in the world and I've been watching You know when I binge I binge mm-hmm, and I saw this world war two Documentary that what's his name Ken Burns Ken Burns did? I forgot there's only one guy who does all these documentary war documentaries called the war and And it it I just want to say this it there are certain ideas that I had about

World War two and the things that went on that I had a specific opinion about Like I'll give you example. I like I always thought that the atomic bombs on Hiroshima Nagasaki were overkill Like it was a response to some because I always thought that those two bombs were a response of Pearl Harbor Pearl Harbor. Yeah, a lot of soldiers died Thousands of people died, but to destroy cities. I always thought my head was overkill was overkill But it was the behelor Hiroshima Nagasaki was a response to Nagasaki. I mean to Pearl Harbor

It was the years of war and American soldiers Trying to take over the South Pacific all those little islands from Midway to Guam to Philippines the Philippines to Iwo Jima right it all those islands and those little battles they had Americans lost Thousands of soldiers. It was they were they were epically Disasterous even the Bataan death march when they surrendered to the Japanese. Yes, I think what was it? 12,000 soldiers died on the way there. Yeah, and then when they got there like another like 15,000 soldiers died

Geez, like it was There was a lot of death. There was a lot of death and also When they took over Hiroshima, not Hiroshima Um, um, was it what's the one that Pat Marito's from? No Okinawa. They took over Okinawa. They were like Well, we know that the Japanese Emperor Hirohito told every citizen That you're gonna fight every American soldier in tooth and nail. So basically every farmer every kid every Everyone in that island of Japan

Japan was a soldier and if we would have invaded Japan much like North Korea The reason why we don't invite North Korea is because everyone will fight. It'll be ugly and bloody And the cost would be so severe And the reason why we didn't do Japan because it would have been a 10 year war going in there And you know, Americans were so tired of the war So many of our sons and daughters sons mainly Um, we're dying and

Those two bombs stopped the war completely Japan surrendered So Yeah, I mean, that's what changed about me. I would the bombs were horrible. Yeah, absolutely horrible And without those two bombs, there would be no Godzilla Oh, come on babe. A lizard would have been hit No, but that's that's why they created that that movie That's a good movie Guys good movie movies with mothra. I mean when bobby and I were in kawaii

We went to this ranch and we had never ridden a horse in my life. I don't know if you guys know this I thought you would have in the Philippines. You guys. I think I meant to ride horses though. I feel like my next Astalian I connected with the animal We got along but before we did we before when we first got to the ranch bobby was bragging the whole time Okay, I'm okay. I can all right. Are you gonna you all right? No I could just say this though Really easy and because I have arguments with every point that you're gonna make. Yeah, please have the platform Go ahead. Please have the platform

You may have the platform go ahead So we get to the ranch and they match you with a horse according to your height and weight and your personality basically How do they measure that? I don't know. Well, it's bullshit. It's okay. It's fucking bullshit the way they measure It's a gut feeling. I guess the vortex. Okay So we There were like 12 people in a group and then everybody gets matched up with a horse I get matched up with a really sweet horse named dudley very calm mellow bobby gets matched up with a horse named sizzler

He's really like the restaurant No, it's his behavior and they're like, oh sizzler is a character I was like and the lady was like, I think you guys will get along Wow And so I get on sizzler and so he's he's he's laughing at me because he thinks that I'm Nervous to be riding a horse for the first time. Of course. I am because this is massive. Yeah, you know beast between my legs but We know as we are getting on our horses. He's like, yeah, I like he tells the lady. He's like, yeah, I've done this

Like I've ridden a lot. I went to Kentucky. Like he basically paints himself a fucking cowboy Like he's a fucking wild wild west like he bearbacks horse like mustangs. Okay, basically, but basically that's what he said But what I'm doing is a fact. I have ridden horses before I know but you made it You were laugh. You're trying to humiliate me in front of everyone. I know but I just said I've ridden horses before I'm not a liar Well, never ridden a horse before Because if you said that then they would give you extra, you know, instructions Sure, I don't want the extra instructions. Yeah, so we go across as like Jurassic Park

Beautiful beautiful ranch. Yeah, imagine. Okay. By the way, why you could see in my periphery Bobby unable to control sizzler Because sizzler is stopping every two seconds to grace and he's like stop it Stop it. You're young. Oh my god. You know how like he's you know, you're supposed to hold the reins like this He's holding it like this like he's fucking I was like has this guy ever ridden or fucking hold reins before And he's like stop it sizzler and he cannot control the source. Oh, can you just see this though? Now can I defend not yet? I'm not done with this story We finally get to the end of this spot

And I'm thinking I'm not sure if he's ever ridden a horse before and so To make matters worse He's already kind of frazzled because sizzler is like not behaving at all, right? And it's making him look bad as he's trying to dismount the horse just decides Fuck it. I'll dismount him for him. Oh And Bobby just rolls off the fucking back of the horse and it's just loud like sun to the ground I was crying

I was crying because all you see was his little portly body just fucking just like on the ground Oh my god, it's so funny. Uh defense It's you know, um Hey, did you have sizzler? Did you have a character horse? I get on sizzler And guess what half his ear is missing. Oh Really? Yeah, you didn't know that half his ear had been chewed off Right, so I'm going there's something wrong with this guy been through some stuff

Yeah, and the reason why I was holding the reins that way is because the other way he was so strong I couldn't get him up. I had and my hands were hurting. I had to do it that way And yes, I have a portly body and my legs are short All right, and my my left foot got stuck in the stirrup And when I was coming off it wouldn't release my leg my foot from the story was stuck So I ran I rolled off the fucking thing Uh, they're hurt and it's not ungrateful like we I did it How am I ungrateful? I wanted to experience life with you and go horsey back riding and do ziplining and you make fun of me and you

humiliate me I the best like in my head forever emblazed in my mind is bobby's little Short legs like clacking on the horse's body just to kind of get him going it was just like Look He's a come on. Come on says Clay Clay It was a great trip. That was great. And then um We went also one morning

And we basically took a boat ride around the island And I'm graphic It was just a bunch of kids vomiting Because we went right after a storm. Yeah, and then I called that morning. I was like, hey Is there is this trip going to push through because they should have canceled it storming outside and then the person was like Yeah, we think so. So imagine being in the ocean, right? And this is you just constantly Right because there's so many waves. There's like six girl girls under the age of eight Just vomiting. Oh crying vomiting, right?

It's a three and a half hour trip Right It's raining. Yeah Right, right crying And then the guy's trying to be cool. Look at the waterfall. Fuck the waterfall turn around We're gonna die then we get to the this is so funny because we get to the We get to a place where we snorkel The snorkeling spot

Is I went to speed for an hour and he goes everyone grab a sandwich. First of all, I don't eat boat sandwiches. That's my bad I'll wait and go to our restaurant. Why would both sandwiches are stale bread and like hickory meat or something I just made that up, but you know So we get so collider goes Go gets in the water. She dunks in the water and on the surface. You just see vomit. Hell. Yeah. Oh She vomited When she got in the water, that's how bumpy this fucking ride was Yeah, cuz well

I get seasick not when the boat when there are big waves. I get seasick when the boat idols So if the boat if the if the motor is off and then it the waves are kind of just slowly crashing sideways I lose my equilibrium because I have inner ear problems So what I do usually is I jump into water immediately because I can find my equilibrium much better in the water And so I swam away away from the boat Snorkeled and feather fishes with my vomit Yeah, and it felt amazing. I didn't want to puke on the boat. I kind of just wanted to but on the way back the waves were massive But I didn't vomit. I didn't find I wasn't nauseous then it's not when the waves are big that makes me nauseous

And then I burned the inside of a vagina with listerine. Oh my god. He did Wait, hold on segue. What? Oh my god. I'm still recovering. Yeah. I made a mistake Would you because okay? She gets naked. We were doing intimate. This is how she she does it Tell us how loud it is. The way we do it now is very soviet What does that even mean? Okay get naked. We're doing it now. That's not that's basically what it is And I'll go well, can I go to the bathroom wash up a bit? All right, but I'm gonna be here That's hurry up. We have dinner reservations in 45 minutes or whatever Why? That's not so I'm in the bathroom. Yes, it is. You're so romantic. I'm in the bathroom and I'm like my breath is stank

Stank it's like spam and like egg. Yeah, and I'm like I take listerine. I just gargle it and the first thing I do is eat or veg a badge Right, so I eat or veg veg and then I insert my you know, you know my tool Inside the veg veg which made the listerine go inside her vagina. Oh, she had this burning But I rallied and I didn't say anything because I didn't want to ruin the moment So I was just like you just got to make him come real quick. Yeah, so I went She's so soviet. No, but you know what she does extra dynamic work She'll get on top and then she'll like start like

Kissing my neck and doing sweet whispers. I don't want everyone to know me Oh, then she what did you do? Did you do a camp counseling one? No, you were a Japanese business manager the hotel the five butler brought me in as a gift That's what it was. Yeah. Yeah. You guys don't laugh during that stuff. No, I'm serious about she's serious about it Actually, if you there was an Oscar for that. Yeah, she'd win one. I feel like there should be I am an amazing actor when it comes to roleplay. I don't ever break character Yeah, and even a burning vagina with listerine couldn't break me out of character So you didn't come like you lied. Did you lie? Hey, no, I didn't lie. You did come. Yeah, I but I also

I anything can make me come like you could blow on my eyes. Yeah. She's very good at that No, she's very good at making herself come is what I'm saying I'm making myself come. No, you did that. No, you did it yourself. No, you did that. Yeah, yeah I'm on one time We're not finished with the story. Oh, whatever The story so I made him come because I was like, oh my god, my fucking vagina is on fire What is happening? And I thought that oh, maybe I something is, you know, no, what we had. No, we've had issues before Is this a fungus flare? We've had issues before. We've had issues before where

Her badge was itchy because of my left foot, but it felt like a chemical burn, right? So afterwards as I was like I got up and I washed up And I was like, hey, did you put anything in your penis like a lotion or anything like that? He's like, no, no No, and I was thinking about what it could be. But then I go I did a lot of listerine. I ate her vagina Yeah, so don't do that folks when you're making love. Yeah, shit hurts Yeah, love is a strange thing making love is not when you're when you're doing it. You probably not so much George, but

Listerine, do you guys still kiss when you make when you make love? Yeah, that's you have to start that way Really? We don't we haven't kissed. I know the whole soviet thing like even for me. That's like, I really love to be passionate Oh And then what what do you do? You like to just kiss the neck I still kiss the neck. I just don't kiss them out and also like the idea of being like, hey, I'm naked I'm ready. Hey, I'm gonna wash up my mouth. I'll be there in a second. That's like, no you You want it to be like the movies? Fuck you

Yeah, that's not real. That's so dumb, but that's not real. As long as you're part of a toys and movies Yeah, how does the schedule break down? You fucking people who like light candles turn to music? No, did we ever do that? Never it was oh, it's contractual like one time like ramstein was playing in the background by accident Yeah, yeah him and I are like Do do us our artisanal candles and jrakes the album. That's all you Yeah, Gilbert. I think the dog just took a shit somewhere No fart. That was a fart. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's your butt though. No, it's not. You can smell my butt if you want

Yeah, Hawaii was a success. You know what? Can I I'll be honest with you? I Out of all the islands, I think you know, Chloe and I need needed our time together for sure because when we get into this place It's there's so many animals now And like I told you guys I found a house. So we're gonna move soon. Yeah, I had to buy a house And and that way we can have bigger guests You know Because there's some people I just don't want to bring to this condo Because this is a small confide space and there's just so much there's so many smells here

You know, the ones that come here, you know, like the Whitney's Stone Streets Some of them are very big. These are people that I I know But and I you know, I want to you know, we're starting spilling up together in a couple weeks And I want to bring Jenna Fisher on I want to bring Anna Ferriss on I want to bring people on but I don't want to bring them here I understand that. Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah Look, what about Mark Maro and Joe Rogan? I'll ask when I'm in a place And I want to get me on lights. I really want to do a place

Like even get the cameras just have the cameras is here. I'm gonna miss this though We're gonna do one of those we will yeah I feel like this is a staple now the whole moon. Yeah, the moon's good. That's good It's a vintage, you know, I like the green the moon will make the place look like this Yeah, you know, maybe not the kim jong-un thing right there. That's a classic shot right here this camera every day Well, they see that yes, and that whole clown thing The luck these lights We can recreate it. We'll see what the space is we can make it any better. Yeah

Hey, what's going on? They're trying to they're playing with the shirt. Hang on. Hang on. Give me a second. Hey, leave it So wait, are you guys keeping fritter now? No, he's been here so long He has a meet and greet on Thursday. You know, you know, here's the thing is with fritter. Yeah Is It's difficult now because I love him And I love my animals more than I love my cousins You've heard me say that before right? Yeah

You know if my Cousin and he was murdered it would be devastating Any of my cousins I would get over it Like eventually eventually yeah, that's with all deaths. No, not with Because if goby my dog got murdered don't put that out in the universe. I'm not I'm just saying Let's make up an animal. Dimitri. Dimitri. My bunny rabbit snail. Yeah. Yeah, this nail. This is the snail. Yeah No, I wouldn't have a connection. This is a goby if goby was murdered

I would probably spend the rest of my life Trying to find who did it You would be like my side project You'd be obsessed. I'd be obsessed with I would have to know who the fuck Killed my dog. Would you go Liam Neeson on them? I would go John Wick. Oh, I would go. I would go murder I I love my animals and fritter now Is getting to the point where I'm absolutely I absolutely love the guy

Because you know, you know this little and he here's what it is is um It's the way your animals look at you It's not necessarily the way I look at them They look at me Like I'm some sort of father figure Or you know, they know that I'm the boss They you can also feel the love coming from them, especially when they're tired Like fritter's crazy this one. He's wild. He's wild right now in a good way. But when he's tired

No, and he'll just place like my arm sitting there. It'll place my his head on my arm And he'll just kind of look at me like what's up, dad? hanging Hanging out I just want to go. Oh, I love you so much, you know, and uh, and that's So that's what you did, babe. You fucked my life up. Well, he has a meet and greet with a great family. It's not gonna work It will not work. Don't say that. I'll tell you why it won't I want it to work. I want it to work, too

I want him to find a great home that we can't provide him. You don't know how to do it. Listen, Rami You don't know how to do it. Rami didn't work Twice we gave it away. It didn't work This sucker twice we gave it away. It didn't work three three times We got it gave it away didn't work So what does that say about your skills as giving things away? I think that people probably don't they think they want a puppy and they don't They don't have a good gauge of their actual patience for puppies

Everyone thinks that a cute puppy on a picture is what they want and then they get the real throws of puppy dumb And they're like, oh shit. We can't do this and they're like you're having back But if you want a puppy, yeah, there's somebody shit That's his fart. I think oh it is. Oh my god. I was having it doesn't hit over here. Are you sad about um, england losing? Oh, man. Well, the world cup um was fun. Hey, you know, um, you know what I'm happy about I'm happy about new teams winning it I know the frances won it before 1998 I think in 98 and that was a good team that won it but um Just as long as we're in spain or germany or brazil

Um, I thought it was a I mean for croatia to be in the finals big state It's a big statement and it's also a shift in in power You know a little country like croatia. They have such talented people And that also shows a lot about places where it was war-torn You know in places where There was some sort of like A society shift Either through government or country splitting

People were oppressed or they were um disenfranchised They got back together and they used that pain and suffering to create great athletes I don't know the history of croatia. I don't either but I know they were on something else Would they not? Now they were all part of Yugoslavia. Yeah, Yugoslavia broke off into different things, right? Yeah, but there was a war, correct? I don't know much about the history of it Yeah, in the mid 90s. There was a yeah civil war. That's what I'm trying to say, man. Yeah You know, I have you don't know anything about history. I have no idea what I just know anything

I don't and you two wrote a song about it, dude. Yes. Is that what it is? No, uh, it was miss sarajevo There was actually like uh, this guy like uh made a 16 millimeter documentary about like when sarajevo was under being bombed About like this beauty contest. They did like underground just to like relive like regain some humanity Oh, yeah, and those that was probably during the time when a moderate and muslim musilini No, we're talking about italian fascist Right world war two man gucci. So what's his name the striker for? Yeah, look at modritch. Yeah, it's modritch, right now modric Lucas mod, but there's all the mantucic. Yeah, the taller one. The taller one. Yeah, and muslim

It is for he's a striker. Yeah And um, yeah, I mean I wanted england to win but they didn't so that's that You know, um, oh what I was gonna say, what did you guys think about uh, it was two weeks ago, uh, daniel cormier Becoming the heavyweight champion Improc lessen her coming back. Well, I mean I talked to joe rogan about it. Yeah, what do you say? And I said he goes that was that was crazy and I go yeah, but I Don't know if I should be saying because he said this to me, but I'm gonna do it. I'll get in trouble later

Don't get in trouble later. Just it's not a bad thing. So I don't even know why I'm even editing it talking about somebody's character No, not him. Okay, that's not to do with that. Okay I know because he said about how great daniel cormier. I go and I always felt like That the ufc wasn't fully beyond behind. Oh for sure. Yo chick. Oh, I didn't think so either. I think you're right Yeah, that's how I feel about it. I feel like they they you know, they were prepping and ganu to win They want him to win because he would have been a great champion. Yeah, and um And joe basically said, yeah, you're right. You're kind of right, but he goes but listen to why It's you know, some people we don't know what it is and he said that he said this about me

There's something about you That people want to hear you people want to see you and then he Said and then there's some comedians no matter how good they are They just don't have that thing it factor and he goes We and there's no science to explain it. It's just the way it is And I go you're right because connor mcgregor is so watchable like he's just so exciting

and and joe goes, yeah, that's you know, he has that thing and um If you look at the numbers of yo chick fights, they weren't killed. You know, I mean not big paper. They're not big paper views And it's it's it's fine. It's a financial thing. It makes me sad It makes me sad because but is that it you didn't do you think that's real? I think it's real that that the ufc was very Not as supportive as they could have of a man who had single-handedly

Take taken like took down the greatest heavyweights everything about it's a business I know but like you have to give credit where credit's due and there wasn't a greater heavyweight than mio chitch That's just and I think that they they could have dumped a lot more on him You know who else and I want to say something so controversial right now what But who else has something about him? That is mesmerizing not in a good way sometimes but still He's a great villain and he has that touch

Is donald trump? Oh my god. There's something about donald trump right that people love They're obsessed with him whatever lie. He tells they eat it up. They don't care That thing where trump said I could shoot somebody in on manhattan Yeah, and my father will always stay by me. It's a true thing But when but also he has that other thing that I was talking about about the same amount of people hating him I think about him every fucking day of my life. I think about donald trump more than I think about my parents Polarizing I wake up in the morning and I look at what he did if I put on D in my google shirt

It'll just say donald trump. Oh, wow. That's how many times I google him I I I'm obsessed with him And I hate him But can I just say something he had he he's a star There is so he has an it thing Regardless of if I like it or not, but he is a charismatic diabolical Kind of an entity that has that thing

That people want to talk about You know and um, some people just don't have that What did I say something wrong now? I'm watching um fritter hump george's leg and george's was letting it happen Yeah, when fritter does that he doesn't have an erection. So what is all that he does it to me? It's instinctual. Yeah Yeah Oh, but why do you don't have his balls jerk them off? The police don't is that speciality or is that me just being a good dad? Well claws on it. Um, I've done it But I used to jerk off. Not fritter not fritter not also

Also, I'm not a fucking puppy pedophile because I only jerked off full-grown dogs who still had their balls And would you do because the Philippines it wasn't customary to like cultural, you know, it wasn't customary It's still a big problem there So stray dog population is crazy because they're most people don't neuter or spay their dogs And so we had a lot of dogs and one in dog in particular named roley Well roley and another german shepherd Do you want to know his name? boyfriend's face is confused

His name was wow and call him wowie okay, anyway, I said jerked wowie off because um, he had his balls he was intact And I felt bad for him and he kept humping things and then my older cousin death mar was like Hey, you want to like, you know help me out and I was like, oh, I guess you're an adult you look like You know what you're doing. So I would like help To jerk off the dogs like a factory to complete

Call me a you could combine. I'm the dog father You can buy dog com and human com Or other animal and crossbreed some sort of species Like to hide like a hybrid. Yeah, you can hybrid a lot of things these days Can you hybrid like a horse or a human make a centaur like the pig human? Have you guys seen that like circulating the internet and I've seen things where people have taken eggs on youtube video Like we are like what's those like weird russian youtube's where they're like illegal here Anyways, they would take eggs and they would put human semen and they'd open the eggs and little worms would wiggle around

Like they're half human something like trying to use like a crossbreeding You can definitely hybrid a lot of things. I mean you have things like ligers or you have um, What do you call it mules? Those are different species that are being you know Basically crossed can I take dog com a polar bear and uh, stick it in a human Vagina no, it's not going to work bobby. Why? Oh, if you want to hybrid you have to genetically engineer it Let me just kind of just say this what happens. I know what happens kind of dog come go

Let's say I put the outcome in you. Oh my god. So that and and the dogs The dogs come in swimming towards your ovary. Yeah, yeah, right And they're pretty fast dogs are fast. Yeah, right four legs four legs, right? And then all of a sudden they get the ovary and they go And they would yeah, they would That's sperm. Would it open? It won't work. This is why Henry Rollins won't do our podcast So someone asked about that. Yeah, wait a second. Did it bobby say that he was going to be on the podcast?

He yeah, he he just we're just too fucking low brow He just did three hours of Dean del Rey's podcast. Yeah, because they're both musicians Yeah, but what are they? I can talk about music as well Yeah, but we're dog talking about dog semen coming into my egg. We're talking about a dog going up to your egg going That's what we're talking about. Yeah, he's he's too much of you know, he's too FYI guys, Henry Rollins FYI Henry Rollins wanted to do our podcast. He didn't want to. No, he didn't know he did at first My agent was like you should do this podcast. Henry goes, well, all right. What is it?

Well, he goes, you know, bobby Lee goes, yeah vaguely I vaguely know him And he and he went and listened to an episode of target belly and then he said no I'm trying to figure out what episode he must have listened to I don't know. Yeah, there's just one I don't know but it had to have been a solo and it had to have been one of our discussions talking about The Jordan Peele one that would have been perfect. He would have got it. Yeah, she just sent like sample clips, George No, but he just said no, I'm pretty sure it's hilarious. We wouldn't be able to get a lot of people

I'm pretty sure that would have been a disastrous podcast anyways with him I don't think that like we're silly in here. He doesn't strike me as a silly person We are the silliest the dumbest most uneducated. He seems educated I just talked about world war two for about 20 minutes So Trump is polarizing That's true and George talked about Sarajevo. Yeah, you know when you talked about Sarajevo We there's a lot of information in this fucking thing horse riding Well, yeah, lots. Yeah, lots, you know

God when I was when we were in kawaii I was watching it's actually a documentary that has been out for a long time But oh my god, what is it again? Tell her I'm telling so in my island of subu we have our version of Um, oj simpson It's not the same story at all, but it was that much of a media frenzy You know how the oj trial was a media friend. This is the most infuriating thing. I've ever heard by the way So go ahead, babe so there is a

A similar trial like that in the Philippines when I was living there when I was growing up and it has to do with a kid who Um, me and my cousins and everyone went to school with we knew him His mother was my Spanish teacher for several years. It's a kid named Paco Laran Yaga And it's basically a kid who was wrongfully imprisoned and then put on death row. Okay um accused of raping and And fucking what do you call it mutilating two sisters? Oh and then dumping their bodies except one body was only found And then the parents of the girls couldn't even like didn't even confirm her identity So it could have been just anybody and also he has like 50 different alibis and 50 different witnesses

Who said he was in a completely different island an hour away by plane when this whole thing transpired school He was in school in chef's school in chef's school and took an exam the whole class and then went out with the whole class that night Right and then he now he's on death row. What the heck it really is the most infuriating situation But um, what's the documentary called by the called give up tomorrow You have to watch this documentary watch it because it's it's really closely It's it's in saboo and the most infuriating thing about it is that the justice system is so corrupt and broken there And the political system is so intertwined with all of that that you just Every five minutes you get angry and angry as you watch it and you're like, oh, I literally I couldn't I couldn't watch it

I was just like nah, I can't do this. I'm so angry and so infuriated that I cannot do it I hate an injustice in that way. Mm-hmm when governments imprison the wrong person Here's a difference. Here's a Steven Avery from making a murderer I don't think that he did it, but I'm not not 100 sure In this Paco thing you're 100 sure he didn't do it. Yeah, he wasn't even there in the same city He was in school and there were photos of him with his friends that night the night that it was When teachers and everyone said no, I just hung us all him. So everyone's saying this but then why It's we'll watch a documentary. It kind of gives you a little bit of

It gives you an idea into how broken the system is back home and how easily manipulated and how you can pay essentially pay anyone off and a lot has to do With The girls who were murdered their parents. There is a lot of sketchiness there The dad was dealing with like some he was working for like a drug business there It was it's really deep and very very Frustrating to watch but you guys need to watch it It was it's it's what I remember most growing up in Cebu. It was a such a big deal. Damn

So watch it give up tomorrow. It's called give up tomorrow. You have to watch it Netflix. Mm-hmm. It's on Netflix No, it's not you have to buy it on iTunes. It's okay. Yeah, buy it on iTunes guys I don't know man. It's like I feel um I feel fairly optimistic about about our futures Oh, wow. Okay. I do. I I feel optimistic about us as a group I'm not saying we're the Beatles Are people saying that no, that's when to confirm. Yeah, we're not, you know, but I feel like

We're in the right direction and that's it. What do we have time? Our helpful advice with Bobby at Kalilah Oh, this is a girl listener. It's good. Finally. Finally. Hey tiger belly crew I am a 21 year old filipina living in Phil's uh and in march I Philadelphia I think and I believe to have met my soulmate on the internet or maybe she's from the Philippines I don't know what Phil's is is that Philippines. Okay. Yeah, I believe to have met my soulmate on the internet He's an Italian guy. He was looking to improve his English and I was looking to improve my Italian since it's my major

Oh, maybe she isn't from the Philippines. I don't know but go ahead. We connected with such overwhelming intensity We were as Compatible as they could get had the same opinions were big fans of the same video game franchise Had the same kinks attracted each other at a ridiculous level We talked for hours every day and had a nine hour video call every saturday. Oh my god We liked each other so much that we planned on spending a week together in Rome in october And he liked me so much that he chose to wait for me instead of Of fucking someone there instead. There you go

We were finally about to start with the paperwork, but suddenly his ex called him and it ruined everything It made him realize that he still loves her and while he cares deeply for me What he felt with uh for what he felt for her was stronger So now we part ways after a tearful goodbye and I'm here miserable and I'm madly in love with a guy Who's being happy with another woman as we speak. What do I do to heal? I feel like I'm never gonna find someone that's perfect for me again Also, please don't belittle what we just had because it started over the internet. Thank you guys. I'm not gonna belittle, but I appreciate ya I'm gonna tell you this gab the car gab. This is gonna go back to world war two

Just just listen to what I'm saying. All right, don't roll your eyes. You fucking cocksucker stop sucking cocks rich I love you. I mean, that's what I meant to say um when these soldiers were out either they were in Italy Sicily fighting the Germans or Or wherever they were in the war soldiers American soldiers What would they have in their like wallet or in their pocket to get them through you think

Make sure of their loved one exactly place. That's exactly what I'm saying They'd have a little pin-up of their girl back home And that alone would get them through Because back then that was enough But now it's a different time Right. Yeah. So what I'm saying is is that um That kind of love don't exist no more. You ain't in a war lady

You're studying italian. All right, you have the you have tinder bumblebee Grindr get on it There's so many more dudes out there How old is she? She is a 20 year old filipina living in fills It might it might not wait. Am I not right about that the the more options the one thing I promise you and this is a promise Is that you are going to feel a love much more extraordinary than this one so far in your life This has been the most extraordinary love you've felt, but that doesn't mean that it's going to be the most extraordinary

Extraordinary love you'll ever feel that's what I'm gonna say just keeps getting better from here And I think that if you look at it that way as this breakup being an opportunity to find something even greater than the last You will you'll reconcile with your with your pain a lot sooner and faster. I think um, you're only 20 Imagine at 20 already knowing that you can make those type of connections and feel that kind of love with someone it'll only get better and there's no other way to heal other than just Just sit and wait and You know let time pass

But also don't sulk in a room Get out force yourself to do things Um, listen to songs that break your heart make you cry as long as you let it out. Yeah, but you know what you just I miss that feeling don't you? Yeah, I do I miss that heartbroken Feeling like you're young and you're just devastated and all you're doing is consume by it and then yeah and also that loss and Oh my that heartbreak. I fucking miss it. I'm when you get to my age. It's gone You should feel dead. My heart is dead. Yeah. I mean if collida left me for another man, it would be fine

He'd you'd be fine. That's not what I was gonna say, but you'd be fine. I wasn't gonna say that It would suck. Yeah, but that's it suck. It wouldn't be devastating It would be devastating because of other things. Yeah, exactly. You're already minimizing our relationship Other things it would be devastating Good, but it wouldn't be it. You know, I But I'm gonna know I know she's here and I'm gonna I'm gonna work around it. There you go. Work it back I'm gonna figure my way back. Papa's gonna work. I'm gonna get back. All right. She is the love of my life. Boom Done game over. Checkmate. You lose collida. Who loves you?

And you win Bobby wins. She's she's the love of my life, right? I'll never be another Okay Right right at my point, right? Um, but I wouldn't kill myself As no one should but in my early 20s. There were sometimes where I was like, I think I'm gonna kill myself Oh, that kind of heart that kind of heart me too. Yeah irrational is what I'm saying. It's irrational But there are times where you miss that Of course if collida went off with george, which I think or brice or maybe a combination of both of them

Oh, my god, I see. Good luck. Good luck. Have fun in the country Farming or whatever you guys do but um cousins and also if you did like, you know role playing in the bed with these guys They're not as good as improviser Improvisers like I am kind of a why do you like put yourself in these like force cuckold situations? I know A force cuckold like you want to be cuckolded. I think no, I don't like you always talk about me like going off with Brennan schaub or georgia brice or like fucking anybody Brennan schaub would be devastating to me

George and brice I would laugh fucking for six hours. Yeah, just cackling Like right in schaub. It was like what the fuck and then they have their own podcast. Oh my god Oh my god, that'd be terrible No, this girl, you know, it's youth But you know what I'm sorry that you're going through that I'm sorry that you're going through that but I'm happy that you're going through that You're going to learn so much about yourself in this time of pain and devastation And there's only good things that can come out of it

And you're going to realize so much of who you are in all of this angst and pain When finally when you break through and you come out on the other side, I swear to you there is no greater feeling Oh, like when the moment when you're like, hey, I'm okay one day you're going to wake up and you're going to be like, hey I'm okay now and that is so liberating You know, you know how I feel about love is is Paris, Texas, I also I'm going to just say this. I want to also tell people what my favorite movies and stuff are I think every episode for the next couple of episodes. I want to just tell people what to watch Things that's like also are a song of the week. So, you know, my album that people need to know

Is the third velvet underground album. It's called the gray album It is a fantastic album. It's Out of all their work more singer song writing It's it's it's pretty low energy the album But um, it's one of the best albums ever made. It's it's them sitting on a couch. It's called the gray album It's the third album the velvet and the brown one of my favorite movies is a movie With harry dean stanton. It's a vim vinders movie and it's called on paris, texas And for for all of my life

When I saw that movie, that's what I thought love was That tragedy It's a love that you just can't it's an unobtainable It's a love loss that it's just not going to work and you just know it's not but um Obviously my oh my god, obviously my perception of love has changed because I found um the love of my life boo If you say boom again, you know, it's a love that you just can't

It's a love that you just can't it's an unobtainable it's a love loss that it's just not going to work If you say boom again Five zero Give your song of the week My song of the week is a band that bobby introduced to me recently and they're called their ruin brothers And my song of the week is all shades of blue. Do you really like that song? I In love with that song and that also that's that tribe song, but it's an old song. Yeah

But um ruin brothers It's called all shades of blue. Well, there's a new kind of music a category called new retro And it's these young bands sounding like old older bands. What's another song um shannon and the clams I think another new retro song. Yeah band. I mean But I think the something I forget the the title of the song Do you guys want more one more quick question? Yeah, go ahead. All right. This guy was inspired from kalala the other week Hey tiger brother. I decided to ask this question after I heard the story of kalala confronting the guys who accused her of profiling A couple months ago. I was walking down the street at night and I noticed a middle-aged woman walking in front of me

She kept looking back at me uncomfortably. She began walking quicker I felt really offended that she was scared of me. I ran fast until I caught up with her Sorry, I'm not sure how to laugh huffing and out of breath and said yo, I don't want to rape you. She was mortified and sped away Walked away. Wait. Wait. Wait. Is this wrong? I was trying to stick up for myself. I'm a 20 year old white guy medium weight medium height medium white Am I guilty until proof is it for the rest of my life? How do I confront people who make these assumptions? I don't want to be spineless either. I have I emailed you the picture of who he is. Yeah

Oh my god, I hate people like that. Well, he was trying you influenced him to stick up for himself Good for you. What's his name? His name is maximus. That's his name. Well, also, it's a little cute pony in his picture So this is the guy ran up the woman. Oh Wait, basically, I'm going to see this photo. He chased this is what generally tiger belly fans look like In terms of white dudes, right? This is basically Like just a Tereptop Doug Doug stanhope, you know hybrid He's so cute. He's so cute. Yeah

If you saw this man cloud behind you and you kept you looked back once and he ran towards you faster I would giggle. Yo, I don't want to rape you. Would you be scared? Um, are you a prop comic? That's what he looks like. Are you at the flamingo? I would be frightened if you ran after me for sure. Yeah, right. Don't do that, dude Yeah, don't do that. But but also like I I'm so sad that I inspired that Don't be angry at the lady and say yo, I don't want to She probably didn't assume you were gonna rape her. She probably thought like something less than that

Hey, he's gonna steal my purse or whatever The rape was a little excessive. It's a little excessive. Yeah, so don't like yeah cloud influence you too much in your decisions Uh, what a great podcast today. That's Shannon and the clam song is called. Um, did you love me? What a great podcast. What a joy Phenomenal. What a fun of joy. I'm gonna go eat with Steve. Is that okay? Why do you have to ask me also because I always want to know Yes, can you help me with my oily face when we come back? Okay. Yeah, uh, I gotta go eat road dates for bobby lee Bobby will be a portland heel helium comedy club in portland in two weeks in two weeks

Portland Oregon guys, it'll be fun. I have a new opener named asson. He's very good. We talked about him the last time It's very good Uh, cool guys. Uh, that's our show Uh, make sure you follow us on instagram uh at tiger belly on twitter at the tiger belly email So any questions at the tiger belly at gmail.com also another um extra shout out to um chef Aaron mattson from ama in kawaii. Yeah, what a nice guy treating us really nicely out there. Cool, dude. Cool, dude Hey prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast

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