TigerBelly - Episode 158: The Wrong Yearbook

Episode Date: September 5, 2018

Bobo is a magician. Koloko is pop quizzed. Gilbo turns 29. We talk spiritual awakenings, Oliver Twist, and sing for our beloved Brownskin Foreskin GGboy Gabriel Flat Face Gilbo Baggins. Patreon: http://patreon.com/tigerbellySupport us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Hey Five four three two one Two three four five Well, what are you? What are you doing? I panicked cuz you didn't say anything. I know because I'm doing it different today My mind was like what are you doing? I think my autopilot is yeah, yeah in life do it again, dude Oh God five four. That's it. Stop welcome to another episode of Tiger Valley Um, I guess I'm your captain

Not really why I would have a king maybe I don't know we've got I Don't know sabotage George here sabotage George. Whoa. How do you know me goes? We got happy birthday Gil. Thank you. Thank you, sir. Yeah, we've got a Lila. Wow I don't have a title. It's their name. No Peter. No Peter. No Peter Kalila. No Peter Kalila Okay, okay, that's the Peter controversy And you got me Supposedly your leader, but I don't feel like it because a leader commands an army and the army isn't doing there's a coup

Tell us all what we've done wrong. Well, first of all today. Um, I asked for chicken Right, and I and I primarily wanted pita Pita bread. I wanted pita bread, but it comes with chicken. Mm-hmm So when the chicken came with our house, there was no pita and I feel like that that sabotage Who ordered who put in the order? You did wait. No who chose off the menu? Yeah, I did pick items. I did I said pita twice on it. Okay, and how is it doesn't matter the fact that it's your energy You affect if I say you didn't you didn't manifest the pita. Do you think I told a delivery lady? I don't know what it's going on intentionally leave out the pita. I don't know what's going on and then

George couple days ago. I go. Hey, can you send me? Dave Navarro photos And in he goes, well, um Bob your girlfriend Bob your girlfriend and you know, and she has to doctor them and I'm like, okay, just send the fucking to me That tell Kalyla send me the photo. Okay. Oh my god. No, no No, right? Why she's like a Japanese school, right? And then I called George a Bob. I have no control I call Kalyla. I'm sleepy. You know Yeah, or I'm doing something yoga or some shit soul cycle soul cycle, whatever, right?

And then alone behold, it's you know, Dave fucking posted it We already posted everything and then it's like why even post it then at that point when it's too late you're so eager to post anything about because you gave me a lecture like a month ago saying that Crystallia and Theo von. They're so active. They do live and I'm trying to do all that Oh, your life stuff is great by the way because you're trying to you know, I'm trying to trying to you know catch up But you're not even helping me because you know, you try to sabotage me That was my fault and another yeah It's his fault too. And another thing is is that and you're also um, I don't like the way you talk to me George

Just like kind of combative and you know, I mean, it's not well. I'll tell you why talk to dumb phone it that way You betraying Do you fucking talk to Theo von that way you betraying piece of shit? No, they're like super nice to me and right I share chicken with him. Yeah, so the reason that George is is um feeling combative is because he was hypoglycemic and then you had Six plates of food in front of you and you wouldn't even share it with him and you saw him going pale in front of you Yeah, yeah, so what I did was I gave my salad to him and say and said here George have this and I said give some of your chicken Bobby and you're like nope and you started feeding the dogs instead of him great move great move

Is George George or is George Oliver twist? Hello Oh Is that George no he's an American white man living in this era He's got money in his pocket Right. He has access to all kinds of varieties of food. It's not my responsibility To feed this fucking humanoid. Okay, I've been saying it because When Navarro told me that you don't put color into people call him humanoid. I'm gonna call him humanoid from now on

Okay, so I don't I don't feel like the captain, but um if I I still am II mates You know, but if I'm not then do a coup And overthrow me and then I'll just I'll just do my own thing You know, but so just as long as we're on the same page is is that My chickens my chicken when I want a photo. Please send it you too. Call I okay And I think the only one I trust right now in this group is Gilbert Galone. Yes, I I really do and it's his birthday and happy birthday listen. I'm singing him happy birthdays

You know, that's fine What'd you get anything special? Oh, yeah, tell us about Cindy Who was it? That's my girlfriend. She's great. He met her 14 times She's like also the greatest person and she always gives us W when you say Cindy I say w e in my head. You know what that means we know whatever whatevs So say Cindy Cindy one devs care, okay What cuz I don't my honestly try to fuck me this whole time either it's like an agreement Yeah, right for show right where she has a mutated penis on her thigh

That you suck at night. I actually've never seen her thigh. Yeah, so it's probably a tiny little yellow mutated penis on her thigh and when you're jamming you're like soft cock inside her You want to suck all little cock on the side. All clits are on the thighs. I know that for a fact Okay, so whatevs so Cindy. Yeah, so she would Cindy give you she has said wear this track suit So we're two Asian people walking around LA in Adidas tracksuits. That's cute. And then she's like I was like, where are we going and she said just shut up and then we drove all the way to the Van Nuys airport I immediately knew like the first guy diving. No, she's like, we're not I walk in there She's like we're going on a plane. I was like, okay, cool

And then we sat in there and I had to fly the plane did not know that So we get up in the air. I'm fucking sweating Because I'm in a track suit and it's in the fucking valley. It's a hundred degrees the whole time I'm pretending to be enjoying I'm pretending to enjoy this thing because I don't want to upset this guy It's his whole business. He's like, yeah, I All these years I'll meet my brother save money to have this plane so we could take people in the air And he was really excited to show me all the valley So I just was smiling the whole time and you had to actually fly the plane. Yeah with him with him

He would be like, okay It's all you and he switches the controls and I'm just like shaking because I'm trying to hold my vomit Like I'm the kind of person that goes on Southwest and I'm about to pass out So we land and then I go to the car smiles. Thanks man for everything I just start throwing up and Cindy takes her camera starts filming it laughing and doesn't feel sorry for me So I feel betrayed. I feel betrayed. She shouldn't be babying you, you know I mean you maybe vomit my birthday five times in the morning. You're welcome. No, I did lose weight So that's fine

And then after that, what you guys do I went to yours and Bobby's good friends restaurant Curtis stone and Lindsay Price At Gwen is very good Curtis was not there, but what did you eat? Expensive meat. That's meat. Did you get kakuchiri? Is it shakutiri or shakushiri? Someone says shakushiri. I don't know. I mean, I'm guessing it's probably French. How do you say it then George? Oh? Sharkutiri, okay, that's Sharkutiri. The sea has to be hard. Are you whispering it, Bobby? Sharkutiri, sharkutiri. It was good. It sounds Asian Sarsha. So if you don't know what it is, if you live in the mid the Midwest, they don't know what it is. I just say mid. Okay

Live in the mid. Um, that's where I'm from. Yeah, I know. That's where I'm from. So cool. Shut up. How are you Amigo? Is that Salsa? Yeah, Heidi Ho. Amigo. Oh, God. It's just sliced meats and cheese. It's delicious. Anyway, um, shout out to Curtis Stone, man. Shout out, man. Yeah. Um, so what else? That's it. That's it, man. Sounds like a fun birthday. How old are you? 29. I'm not gonna do anything till my 30th. So one more year. Number one rule, man. Number one, everyone and everyone knows this. I don't even know why you don't know this. Um, if you cannot go on a small plane, if you're not famous, do you know why? Why? If you die in that plane, they're not gonna make the movie. You're fucking right. Right? Yeah, they're not gonna make the Gilbert Galan movie.

They're not gonna talk about the guy that died in the valley. Van Nuys. The Van Nuys airport, not even LAX. You have to be like, um, you know, Schwarzenegger or something like that. Yeah, you know, Lea. Buddy Holly. Man, so many people died in that plane, huh? A lot of planes. Yeah. It was, no, that one plane was Richie Valens, The Big Bopper and Buddy Holly in one plane. They were on the same plane. Yeah. Damn. Imagine like losing that. It's like losing, um, Josh Groban, John Mayer, right? And was, give me another one. Why are they, do you have to be all white? What? No, I'm just saying. White is people, Josh Groban, John Mayer, then Jack Johnson? Yeah, Jack Johnson. Yeah, there we go. Jack Johnson on one plane. Yeah. And then who would you cry for more? Jack Johnson, the best, the most. Hi, John Mayer. Yeah, it's also funny when, like, someone famous dies, but then someone even more famous dies the next day.

So it overshadows the famous person that died on Tuesday. Didn't, um, John Denver die on a plane, too? On a plane? Or did he just? No, that's just a song, babe. No, no, it was not a jet plane, though. It was on a jet plane. I know he sang that song. Is that him? Yes. Yeah, that's John Denver. But he died, yeah, he died over the ocean. He did. Yeah. He left on a jet plane. Wait, did he really die over the ocean? Yeah. You know who else died in a plane is, um, that golfer? No, um, yeah, Kennedy, though. Robert Kennedy, Jr., Bobby Kennedy, Jr. Oh, yeah. Well, John F. Kennedy, Jr., he died on a plane as well. You guys aren't afraid to fly. No. Do you ever feel afraid to fly? You know, it's so funny. I've been on planes where the turbulence was so bad that people screamed. And in those moments, I know that I think I'm okay with it. Because I don't, I just kind of go, yes. You know, weird way. Can I reveal something as well? Yeah. Ever since Lost? Okay, I'm not going to, I don't want to be in a plane accident or like any kind of crash, but I feel from watching Lost, I feel like I could survive a plane crash and be a leader on an island. So sometimes I'll be on a plane. Listen, I'll be like, I'm looking around like, okay, that's like the doctor, like that. Like I'm like Jack, Jack from Lost. Like I can bring everyone together. Like that's a lady that's pregnant. I can help her.

You're not that. You know what you want on Lost? What? The person that's not even on the show because it's dead in the ocean already. So I'm not one of the special eight? You're not. You're not Daniel Day Kim. Oh, Daniel Day Kim. Your, your, your blood, your body be split apart in 18 different places. My ashes everywhere. No. You know what? If I was on an island with you though, we would die soon. No, we would not. How? You have skills? You've seen shows, TV shows. Yeah, I know. I can watch them. I know the rules, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I can apply them into my life. You're telling me you can't just build a hut? Well, it's like one of those things where like when you crash, it's not like we're completely healthy. What if I have like a skin abrasion or I'm infected? That are Dengue fever. Yeah, Dengue. Or whatever it might be. You know what I mean? You're not getting enough of like a supportive care, like getting fluids and checking your platelets and shit. Couple of bruises were fine. First thing you do, you get all the luggage, you hoard it. You just hoard all the supplies. How's that going to take you out of Dengue? What? How's that going to treat Dengue? No, if you just have bruises. Oh, it just bruises. But, you know, people, you know, you would probably go into the ocean and find debris, try to find medical supplies. That's what I would do. You don't know. Also, it'd be fun just opening up, you know, people's suitcases to see what they brought. You just see Bobby smelly. Oh, that's cute. A notebook. Yeah. Everyone's like crying. You know, or nice sweats. You know what I mean? That'd be cool. And then you could like use, um, if somebody had, you know what you could do is you can, I can sell. You can sell. No, but I can learn. Oh my God. You would learn to pass the time after a plane. Well, in a survival situation, what I would do is, you know, the fabric that bathing suits.

Is that Nailani kind of fabric? Lycra? Yeah, whatever. Right. I would take all the bathing suits and I would like, you know. Why would there be a bunch of bathing suits? Because I'm going through all the luggage. So your destination was somewhere warm. Well, if I just assume, yeah, maybe I assume that it's everyone is packing bathing suits. Okay, let's just go with that. Well, I mean, I know here's the thing that you never see like, like lost was in a tropical place. Always in tropical, right? It's never, you're never on a snowy island. That'd be a shitty show. Well, alive, the movie alive. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That way you actually, you better, it's better at like preserving certain meats and stuff so they don't go bad. So if you want to eat human meat, it's better if you're up in the cold. The meat doesn't go bad. Yeah, I just don't. It doesn't decay as fast. I couldn't eat. I think I'd just rather die. To eat some of the meat. You'd have to eat human meat if it was like a snowy place. Yeah, but I guess I don't know. I guess you would if you're that hungry. That movie made such an impression on me when I was younger. I was like, Oh, I could do this. Should I ever be on a mountain top in a snowy mountain top? I could eat some of my friends that are already on their way out. I'm not going to fucking kill them just for the sake of me. They're already on their way out. I don't know. I just don't know. So we talked about earlier about how I don't know people in our lives, our personal lives. W. Yeah, why is that? So I want to do a little game. Just name me some people. And I want to seriously try to name, see if I know who they are. Okay. Well, explain the, because you were talking about how he would, he will sometimes say.

Right. So when you, right. So when, um, for instance, when you were like, Oh, Cindy, Cindy took me out on the plane and he's like, who's Cindy? Yeah. When he does that with me, it hurts my feelings. I'm like, you don't know my, my, I only have a few close friends and family. And I have to remind you each time who they are. Okay, okay. Just name some. Okay. Um, let me see. Giovanni. Giovanni. Think hard. Think hard. Giovanni. You had, you've mentioned this to him though, right? They've met multiple times. Giovanni is a real estate agent. Oh my God. Who's Giovanni? Oh, no, I don't, I don't, I don't, I always say no, say no, say no, say no. That's what I got. Say it again, say it again. Giovanni. Giovanni is Honey's husband's name. He's a lawyer in Philippines. And he's Juliana's dad. Okay. Stepdad. Um, good. Um, Samantha. Oh, fuck me. You know. Samantha. Oh, I know Samantha. Samantha is, um, Jenna's buff leg roommate. Yes, she is buff leg. Two for two. Yeah, yeah. This is good. Let me see. Katie. Which, well, I know only one Katie. Katie is Mabel's mom. Mabel is Gobi's sister. They're two dogs. Three for three. And so Katie, she also was a producer on, um, Survivor. She was on Survivor.

And then she also produced Naked and Afraid one season. Bachelor. And the Bachelor. And then, um, the Least of Underground Rapunzel. Don't be a fucking curveball, babe. What's one that you probably said once? Once. One time I told you that. And now I have some names. And then I want you to know who they are. Give her a long beach one that he should know. Oh yeah. Do you know, um, Cindy? Yes. Cindy is, she's brown Filipino. Cindy is Cambodian. She's Asian. I don't know what the race is. She has a sister, right? She has big, stocky legs. Thick girl. Thick girl, right? Oh, sisters. Yeah, and she's from Long Beach. Yeah, I know her. Oh yeah. So now I have some now. Jensen Roof. High school. But what else? That's it? Yeah, you won't return his phone calls. Okay, there you go, Clay. Matt Ueda. Matt Ueda is also high school. How was he? What is that? Who was he? Is he the other fattiest guy, voted fattiest guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, what? What is this? There's another Asian guy who was voted most, like, funniest guy in high school. I went to Poway High School. And I graduated in 1990, right? If you look at, first of all, in the 1990 yearbook book of Poway High School, I'm not in the senior class photos.

They took my photo and they sent it to Mount Carmel because they used the same photo agency or place. And when they looked at my photo, even though I was in the Poway stack, I think there's no way he goes to Poway High because he's Asian. Really? Yeah, and they sent it because Mount Carmel was 60%, 50% Filipino. So they sent, so my senior year, I never went to Mount Carmel, but my senior year picture is in Mount Carmel, your book. That's so funny to me. Yeah, it's terrible. I asked if I could sue, but it's a part of your memory and then they did that. And then think about when you find that information out. You're like, wait a second, so I'm not in our yearbook? And they're like, no, you're in the rival school's yearbook. They're rivals. But I am in a lot of photos, so that kind of made up for it. They had like one page with me and my friend Craig dancing at a dance. And improv, me doing improv on the theater one. So I was fine. But Matt Ueda is this Japanese dude I went to high school with. How come his photos end up in Mount Carmel stack?

Because he's more, I had like a really like orange kind of like tint in my hair and I had kind of a mullet. So you looked Filipino? Yeah, I was dark. You're Filipino? Yeah. If you look at my Instagram way early on, there's a photo that I have. Super tan. Where it's like, I look like a Filipino magician. I have a vest on. I don't know why I look like that. But anyway, Matt Ueda, he's a funny dude. Is he famous now? No, no, no. He still lives in Poway. But I wasn't even nominated. That's the thing. When I found out there was like nomination, there was like five guys. And I kind of asked, am I not? No, you're not. Like I would ask friends, you know? But do you think I should have been nominated?

Was he in like theater? No, I was in theater. He was just more liked. He was more popular. Yeah, I was not liked. I get that. I wasn't in any of those lists. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, I'm kind of there's, you know, it's, you know, it's so funny. You know, you don't choose where you grow up. Your parents do. So you're just exposed to these people. I like them and I have fond memories. I know. But you know, when he won, I still think about it at night. Yeah, I hate those things too, because it is such a popularity contest. Most likely to be this. Yeah. I'm not done with my questions, by the way. Okay, go ahead. Okay, two for two. Dan Irwin.

Dan Irwin was the older man who saved you from a relapse or when he escaped and he saw him at Vaughan's. No, that's not him, but it's close. What's the story? He's an AA guy. Yeah, but how specifically what? You can't say AA, by the way. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Then let's not talk about Dan. Good setup, Bobby. Good setup. Dan Irwin was... Okay, hold on. We're not supposed to talk about that. I know. I'm just saying was a Korean man. Yeah.

Fully Korean. Irwin? Yeah, he was adopted. Oh. But he was adopted later in life, so he had still an accent and he had tattoos. And he was my first guy that helped me get clean. He saved my life, that guy. He taught me a lot of things and I don't think I'd be where I'm at without him. I think about him always.

Also, I just want to give you guys an idea of how this is actually an unfair game. Bobby, when we're in conversation, if it's just him and I, he's talking 90% of the time. 90% of the time he's sharing about his life. I, somebody who listens, I'm only speaking 10% of the time. So I don't really talk about myself. That's not true. It's so true. You talk about yourself. I didn't know so much about you.

There are some fun facts. What's my middle name? You know that. Sangria. When is my birthday? November 1st. What year? 19.

I don't know that. 19. Why? That's not fair. That question is not fair. I'm not good with mathematics. What year was I born? 71. December 17, 1971.

We were good with mathematics. Okay, tell me, ask me more people in your life. I want to know if I'm a good listener or not. Really? Yeah. Name me five cousins. Just first names. Yeah, just first names.

You have, well, Paul. Yes. And then you have Andy. Yes. I know Andy. And then you have, do you have a Jennifer? Yes. Okay.

Three. You have, so it's Paul, Andy. And the one, oh, the brother and sister from Sacramento. Yeah. And then the sister who lives in Long Beach with the kids. Yeah. God. You already got Jennifer though.

I have two Jennifer's. Oh, you have to, I know that's her name's Jennifer too. Yeah. That's four. No, that's three only. You can just throw Jennifer out. What if I have nine Jennifer's? Yeah.

She's two for one. Yeah. Oh my God. Why am I blanking? I like him so much. You met him. Your cousin, this holds a skate shop in Sacramento. Give me the first letter of his name.

Eddie. Yes. Oh my God. Why am I blanking? I love him. He's the best. You have a lot of cousins. I have 21 cousins.

Name one cousin of mine. 21. Name one fucking cousin of mine. Doop, doop. You know what? There's probably, there's probably. You don't know one cousin of mine. No, I've never met them.

You've met, you've been to the Philippines, sweetheart. Did you actually introduce him? Yes. I, when I was in the hospital, he met my everybody. No, I was in a stressful state. I was in a, that was a coma. I was in a coma. One cousin.

Walking coma. Paul. You have a Paul? Yeah. I have a nephew named Paul. There we go. That was what I was thinking about. Paul, Paul, Paul.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking about. You know what? I do have a cousin. His name is Paul Felder. Yeah. Paul Felder, man. Wait. For real?

Yeah. Like the fighter? For real. But yeah. His name is Paul Detmar Felder. He's half German. Oh, wow. And I was, um, so I guess we kind of know each other.

And we don't know if it came because I feel like I'm going to get in trouble. I feel like I know you so much better than you know me. I love the birthday one. What? That's not fair. That's not fair because I never even thought about it. I don't think she'd have ever said it. Do you know how old she is?

She's 34. Almost. She's almost 34. Yeah. The skin's getting a little loose under the chin. Under the chin. Getting a little goblin. Like a.

Gobgobgob. Yeah. A little turkey. I'm almost 47. Wow. Next month. Next month. 47.

You know what that feels like? It's like you don't, I honestly, I honestly don't feel any different than I did at 18. Like today I was working and I was sitting next to Sander who's a nine year old kid that's on my show and him and I were like doing fart jokes and giggling and his dad's in the back seat and Oliver's in the, you know, the front seat and we're just giggling, right? Like little kids. And I am honestly like giggling like, you know, he's my own friend at my age. You know, I just, I've always felt like that and it's like when people are like, I don't

know, like when I ask my accountant questions, like, what does mortgage mean or, you mean or how much did I, how much do I, this, you know, I ask about like, like adult questions and he has explained to me like I'm a little kid. Yeah. I don't know those things. I find that really endearing though when I have to, um, yeah, when I have to help you out with certain things and explain like, Hey, this is how you call happy birthday to you.

Hey, Gobi. Hey, Gobi. She's singing too. Happy birthday to you. I'm surprised. Happy birthday dear Gil. I'm surprised as well. I had no idea.

Bobby, thank you so much for getting this. Yeah. Happy birthday to you. That's great. Congratulations. Thank you so much. Congratulations. I know Bobby was the mastermind behind that.

That's what you, I thought that was your food. Well, I wanted, we want, this is a very special peanut PB and J cupcakes from where? From Oinkster. Oh, is that a peanut place? Is that a peanut place? And then we have a fudge brownie. Oh, wow. We all just take a bite.

Yeah. I'm breaking my teeth. I just want one because I'm so hungry, but it's really to celebrate my birthday. Thank you so much. You're welcome. You're a big part of this podcast and, um, I'm really, you know, all kidding aside. Um, we could have got somebody better, but, um, yeah, uh, at the end of the day, what is this like vegetarian or something?

What is that? Why does it taste like a vegan? Yeah. It tastes vegan. That is not peanut butter. No taste. Taste it. Yeah.

It tastes, it does taste vegan, like not real peanut butter. Yeah. Yeah. What is that? Well, it's cause it's crazy. Like, what? It's topping. It's not real peanut butter.

You like to slap real peanut butter. It's only one with that like it's free. What is it? Is it a healthy? He's a healthy one. Is it the actual cake though? That's not bad. Yeah.

But what do you know? Before I get into it. Just be honest with me. Tell me what this is. Top 10 cupcakes in LA. Yeah, that's what this is. This is not a sugar-free one. No, specifically said, George, you have to get a good cupcake, cause Gilbert's a food

snob. Hey, George, thank you so much. You're so good. what is that I'm not peanut butter I guess I should have eaten dinner rather than getting these off sorry no thank you George appreciate it there's something weird about the frosting but thanks anyway I would be miserable without you guilt I truly would be if that other guy was here not to say his name I would be miserable but I remember him he almost became it and I would have been

miserable he wouldn't have acted as a you are a perfect buffer for me and Bobby's madness yeah and you know how to handle us when we're fighting you do we've had some brutal fights on this thing too brutal yeah fried and stuff I always cry I would stop say the brutal ones are probably there in the early days yeah I think we figured that out yeah some of it but I also learned to have a thicker skin yeah not take everything like to personally so different from 2015 thank you I like to hear that you've grown so I like to I like to fail forward you know um what was that story you were telling us me and George the other day about

another Bobby Lee oh my god did I tell you that babe yeah I did yeah but I don't like it but go ahead you don't want me to tell the story no tell the story but um it's gonna be issues afterwards there's no issues can I have the brownie instead yeah I'm cupcake is the worst I've ever go geek come on man tell us a story set it up okay so my friend came in town from Miami and we went out to Davy Wayne's which is like a bar out here and at the bar these two men approached us and I thought with the intention of hitting on us I'm sure and they happen often for you yeah no not at all and he came over and and he was

like hi my name's Bobby Lee and Jessica you know she's very spirited and fiery she thought he was just being a smart ass good dick yeah yeah like a dick like oh obviously like you know who you know who she is you just came over and wanted to introduce who says their full name who says their full name exactly like Bobby Lee and so Jessica popped off and she's like you know you're just being a fucking dick get out of here like your name is not fucking Bobby Lee and he looked confused like he was like wait why are these people attacking me and I and I in that split second I look over at Jessica I was like wait maybe his name

is Bobby Lee and she's like fuck no and she was like Kalyla will buy you you and your friends drinks if your name is good how many friends were there yeah yeah like a lot of friends he was like she will buy you every one of you guys drinks if your name is Bobby Lee Jessica she's like give me your ID right now like I pulls out his ID and lo and behold his name is Bobby Lee the black guy he's a black guy I took picture I took a picture with him he's like should we take a picture together and then I ended up fucking and did you tell him that like oh I'm dating and I was like wait that's my boyfriend's name and he

was like wait what is your boyfriend Korean and I'm like yeah he's like oh shit you're dating Bobby see you're the Bobby Lee yeah I don't think you are the Bobby Lee oh yeah I got a black guy goes you he's deep up the Bobby Lee yeah wow he was actually really excited that I was the girlfriend of the Bobby Lee the Bobby Lee was he cute though I'll show you a picture yeah let me look at his face pretty jacked he's like it's a pretty cute black guy yeah yeah I showed you already babe so I you know I don't want to bring this up but I have also something that he is cute I like him and I think you're gonna get mad sweetie and then I

I'm gonna be able to just I wanted I was gonna I was gonna say this to you tomorrow I was like seal yeah yeah yeah don't be scared but I just but just I just to hear me out I'm gonna tell you what happened are you scratching your nuts I'm not scratching my nerves it's a nervous take it's a nervous take and I was gonna you know and you can say no and then I'll have to deal with it and I don't want to fight about it right I'm just gonna ask you something okay okay oh so Monday what you know you know how we call in at the comedy store right yeah right yeah you call in right and you go they go what when do you are

available they can go up and I go I said all week yeah okay so this guy Jay the skinny little guy named Jay goes okay and he told this guy fat black guy named Quincy I I know I shouldn't be saying race humanoid something about okay I'm just trying to change you know I mean okay man and Quincy forgot to tell Adam I already know what you're gonna ask me what we are not gonna go to Joshua I am doing Josh tree okay but good one but what is your problem right now that's exactly it it's not it it we can we not go till like Monday no no we're gonna go Sunday okay but after your show no no not after the show will you listen to my

thing there's a lot of energy here I'm very confused with it right yeah so um anyway so that happens so then they then they call me and go they go you got no spots yeah I remember that you remember that I was upset we were at the dog park and then the all week and then all week they've been calling like you can be on the fallout that's not gonna change it you guys fucked me right but then Adam called me and goes you're still doing my benefit show Sunday right at eight how is that okay right and I said oh yeah okay so can I do the benefit show as I go can I go to luxury and if you say no and you're and you say no then I'll just

call him go no I'm not I'm out why are you asking because it's better to do it this way because I don't want to start a fight and you can say no and I'm not gonna be upset let's break this I don't call Adam right now let's break this down yeah yeah interesting you knew that I had made plans that's not the true I'm gonna tell you why why because apparently I said yes to this months ago with the Joshua tree no the benefit show for Adam okay and you know me I forget okay so then Joshua tree came along completely forgot about the benefit show and then now we're supposed

to go to Josh tree Sunday and stay till Wednesday or Thursday right I'm even willing to stay an extra day so that we can make this happen I'm open to anything that you want me to do if if it's important to listen to me yeah I you already know the answer I know but I have never ever gotten angry or like sad or like call me a liar or anything like that there's I never want to get in the way of your stage time it's not stage time I don't even want to do it but he said you know me you're still doing it right and I don't and I said yeah and then I forgot you're and I don't want you to look bad in front of Adam and I

don't want you to flake on another person I would rather you flake on me than flake on them that way I'm not sleeping if I can't you I'm saying we're gonna go right after her yeah but it's a two-hour drive so we'll probably not get there till midnight still fine still fun it was still gonna be a venture still fun fine are we good yeah we're good and you're not upset or anything like that can I get a little bit the only reason I'm upset yeah because you needed George and Gilbert to be here as a buffer so I wouldn't like figure out why you were doing it now but isn't that a brilliant way of doing it would you would you

throw me that though will you throw me that shadow play that I did it in the most brilliant way that was perfect shadow play yeah it was can I get a popo though I think you need to I love you I you need to like you know that was the most disgusting kid why did you blow air in his mouth yeah I guess you have to serve her like a queen this bad news is always done in public and that's another life lesson from your captain Bob I don't know man I've done that before and yeah I thought everything was all good and then get in the car okay bad idea wait till that camera and these mics get turned off

are you being real oh come on you know me better than that have I ever flipped out over something like that hey you know when the cameras are up you know why yeah yeah because it's your fault so Adam shouldn't have to pay for it and I would I would hate to fuck him over in that way well what will end up happening is what will end up happening and it's fine it's a fight say I'm not doing it that he was gonna he's gonna think that it's because I didn't get to go up this week and he's gonna be like oh you want to play it that way and it's to be an ongoing little like tit for tat I am your I am a cheerleader and Adam

E good and if there's anything your manager has taught me it's always take the blame and never make him look bad we throw it we throw each other under the bus all the time when it comes to like business stuff yeah Abby taught me like when it comes to business stuff you never want him to look bad so just take the brunt if he's late it's your fault if it's this it's your fault I'm like okay I can do that but today was today was a fucking rough man I she goes Kala is doing this thing which is so generous of her where is if I have to get up early to shoot I saw on the show she sleeps in here when you guys got

here was my bed set up and right so she sleeps in here and all the dogs aren't here right and so which is a generous gesture I mean her part love so last time like okay here we go and I just laid there for probably four hours right I brought chips in from the kitchen yeah I eat chips by the side of the bed wait why what does that help just I was so hungry yeah an orange you know and I ate a Laura bar I just laid there and it was one of those things were sleep sleep sleep and then the alarm went off so you didn't I barely slept and then what he makes me you know he has to get up at six o'clock in the morning and so I'm

sleeping on the podcast room floor he's sleeping on a king-size mattress over there I'm sleeping all the animals are with me and on top of that he goes he peeks his head through the door he's like baby if it's not too much to ask can you set your alarm for me so now I have to fucking wake up as well at six o'clock but you know what because the last year what happened last year alarms and go off and I showed up three hours late to a show yeah so I always set my alarm for you that's you don't understand I think and that also scarred has a lot to do with me not being able to sleep I think that happens a lot yeah because that can

never happen again let me just tell you that that happens to just about every normal human being when there's something big that has that's happening the next day and that you're either excited about or nervous about about sleep is out of the question I can never get proper sleep like before like a first day at a job or something like that I could never it's just I also don't know how I it's like you do take and people go like the director will walk up and go yeah so that you know that line it has to be more sullen and then you know boom you're hitting him with this right and that's because you want this from him

yeah right and when they give me notes like that I go okay I have no idea what the fuck you don't know what sullen means I don't know what anything that they're saying they do it the same exact way as I've been doing it yeah and at the end they go okay well that's it let's go to your house for a different recipe this is Gilbert's birthday yeah I want each of us to ask him a question that we've always been wanting to ask him no I'm not gay that's for everyone no you're not you're not you just look you just look at what's something you've always wanted to know about him you asked me Clara let me see yeah for skin

it's real I don't know when seen it but I do you know I'm kind of pro for skin now I don't know if I would I don't know if I would take I don't circumcise my my kid I want him to decide that for himself later on in life oh and it becomes a $5,000 cosmetic surgery yeah I looked it up I mean look my my buddy got his circumcision when he was 15 and they cut off too much and his dick feels a little tight so when he gets fully erect it kind of hurts him a little bit oh it does they're like if you don't clean it out is there like a little kind of dummy that that's only when that's only when you're younger so that

happened to me when I was in middle school you did not have pulled back and what does it smell like that doesn't I'll tell you what it smells like yeah not good I'll just say it's like I don't know man it's bad hey but girls get that too though because we have discharge we have things like that like it's you got a little like shmag cop between the lips baby if you look at my vagina yeah if you look at any girl's vagina let's say if she didn't just wash and scrape elaborate yeah and then you there's gonna be some like white stuff there but who cares like when you when you're when you have sex with somebody and there's

always like there's stuff there that's a cute fart yeah why did your body like you like the pills boy I try to sweet I try to sweet and also like the face face was real cute yeah I was cute I cute I've never seen her so turned on this is freaking me yeah we was talking about like vaginas and then you felt the need to fart God whatever you've been talking about today have we said anything of consequence today no there was shadow play though happening that's true come on babe question is that one thing you've always I don't really care about you George yeah I know you don't care no I do care no I will do it then

no no yeah yeah yeah I'm on your side no let me know I want to be this is me no this is real all right have you ever had a spiritual awakening yes when I would say almost like there's a time when I think when my grandma passed away like a long time ago and then I just go to church for whatever reason didn't believe in it but I am I saw her move no be real no man oh I haven't had a real awakening like that you never had a spiritual awakening I mean you don't even know what it is I I mean like I go through moments in my life where I feel like something is churning on the inside things are you know and I feel like

like I'm changing like I feel like I noticed my my head is changing is that a spiritual awakening where I come out of it feeling a little bit more little clearer no it's a it's a it's a physical life-altering experience it's um the first one I ever had right was when I was 17 years old I had I hadn't gone to a school for a month my parents and I were fighting they I was doing drugs every day it was terrible I stole money and one morning my mom woke up and she like you're going to school she grabs me with my hair she drags me and at this point in my life I have no future I

have no I don't want to live I don't have I just don't want to be in this life I've and I'm just suffering every day and I and I and I was spiritual awakening right there we go that was the Lord that was it and I she drags me my hair I get in the car and there's a street called Martin Coit and it's like this long really steep hill that goes on for a half a mile because we lived on like a mountain a hilltop and she's she has she had a red Camaro I don't know if you know that and she's driving down as fast as she can to give me to school and I just open up the door and I roll roll out like in that ladybird like

ladybird yeah you told me you told me that that scene was exactly the way you rolled out yeah yeah I rolled out and then I didn't break any bones but I was scraped and bruised you know and I can see my mom doing a u-turn screaming and I there was in that where I rolled out there was a field and I ran across the field it's one of those unkept fields where there's like like a lot of like holes and bumpy you know my mom starts driving on it to chase me and I'm running and I trip and I fall on my stomach there's dirt in my face I'm sweating crying and just like and I'm as I'm laying there a sensation went over

my body a feeling that I've never felt before which was you're gonna be okay your life is about to change and this is a new something's something great's gonna happen and it was not a light it felt like the whole you know that the sky just shot with light interesting and there was a warmth and a hope that had never felt before and I thought that it was God you know I thought it was God and then I've gotten the car and I'm crying and my mom was crying like why you want to kill yourself you know I mean and I said I need to go to another rehab I want to go to the McDonald's McDonald's Center maybe that fall kind

of like shook you wake up into waking and kind of shook you away yeah no I think that I honestly believe that because what happened was I went to the McDonald's Center and met Dan Erwin at that in the Korean dude Korean guy adopted and the reason why it was weird the reason why I met Dan Erwin was because once I got into the rehab my whole argument because I'm very argumentative mm-hmm you know and my I would I would scream there was this other guy kid named John Bosonic and real names yeah so yeah John Bosonic John Bosonic was one of the funniest dudes you know when you go to a

meeting you go hi I'm you know Bob I'm an alcoholic and everyone goes hi Bob right John Bosonic used to do this hi I'm and he used to pull his legs up and fart right and then like the council would like you know you know like grab them right and I would just be in tears crying right and they would say John Bosonic and Bobby it were the knock on it gets over oh my gosh dude three years ago I'm in New Mexico I'm in New Mexico I was in a casino maybe a new New Mexico yeah New Mexico in the front row was John Bosonic wow still sober still sober great story but anyway um still sober but anyway when I got in the

rehab I remember John Bosonic used to do that and I used to my thing was there are no Asians you know we're we don't do this there we don't work you I look around you know it's all you white some blacks you know a couple of Mexicans but there's never Asians and in the in the concert well Bobby it's not a race it every human being has alcoholism and drug you know yeah and you know I go it's cultural and you know whatever and then one day I get a knock on the door and he's like there's someone in the lobby to see you I look out and Dan at the time imagine this he's a tall fully Korean looking dude right but back this is in

the 80s that this is an 1988 okay so imagine 1988 a Korean dude with tattoos now you didn't see in 88 you didn't see in especially in the suburbs anyone with tattoos he had tattoos to his like a wrist and he was older like probably I don't know he had a white hair but long to his shoulders and he was like lean and he just stood there in the in the in the lobby and he goes I'm done what's up he looked like Mortal Kombat looking like something yeah like he was gonna like rip my spine off out of my body and finish me friendship right and he just says I'm your sponsor and I go okay and that dude changed my life when I got out

of that place you know imagine being high school right you have to go to school Monday through Friday right and with me because I miss so much school I've talked to this about this right a zero period a lunch period and Dan made me do nine meetings a week right so Friday night I'd go to a men's meeting Saturday morning I'd wake up and go to another men's meeting and I would go on retreats and do meditations and do all kinds of stuff and this is my junior year in high school so this I believe that that spiritual awakening brought me and then it the only reason why let's just listen to this right the only reason why I

did stand up was because now I went to the McDonald's center which was in La Jolla okay which is and that's where the only comedy story is La Jolla right and the only reason why I moved after high school to La Jolla was because that's where I got sober right and then the only job I can get with some guy from a it was like you know me work at this coffee shop next to and that's how I met what's his name Mike Halloran and then the the coffee shop closed and I went next door to get a job which is the comments so I just feel like everything was interconnected from me jumping out of my mom's car right so

you could look at it as you know coincidences right but I don't know in what way also I met the the the founder of the groundlings okay why is his head the name slips up my arm for who it is Gary Austin I met Gary Austin because I met a dude you know in meetings and he goes I know this guy Gary Aussie started the groundlings he goes this is when I was 19 before I even thought about doing comedy and he goes you know I have this little workshop you know and Gary's gonna do like a little improv class right and so I gave him money and I did it and so I met Gary Austin where I met that girl from Facts of Life and they

all did it and but here's the thing when I went to LA to take his LA classes in Burbank I was 20 and this is crazy this actually happened we were at Jerry's deli I'm 20 years old I don't know anything about show business I've done I've done I've never done stand-up at the time and he go we were eating dinner after one of his classes at Jerry's deli and I'm shy and small and I don't know LA I think I'm so intimidated it's all of its daunting right and we're sitting there and Gary goes well what else you know I mean do you do you I go I play the piano a little bit because when I asked you you know a couple of weeks

ago in class you didn't mention it I go I'm shy and he says he says to me this and I swear to God he did this he goes you know what announced to this whole restaurant that you play the piano and in ten years you'll be doing you'll be on the Tonight Show and they're doing what and he goes I don't know but I'm telling you right now that that's gonna happen so I stood up and I screamed at as long as I could I play the piano what was the feeling the whole restaurant applauded hmm right sat down ten years later I did Leno was it really ten years ten years I did Leno damn because 20 I did it when I was 30

that'll make sense now why you punked Juliana to like but when we're like having dinner at a public place and she's so shy we were at Roscoe's and he kept saying do the monologue do the monologue now from you good men from a few good men and you make her you you want her to do the monologue from a few good men that's why yeah he taught me right to get out of who cares it's society they have these rules you know me you you you're in this prison in your mind get out and he got me out and um you know he passed and I haven't seen him in so long probably 20 years but um he was one of the first dudes that I met

that like introduced me to that world you know and then it took me three more years to do stand-up I didn't know you took classes before standing yeah for years with Gary Austin damn yeah and then um I met you know all kinds of people there and then and then I met a guy named Randy at it in that Gary Austin and Randy was the real reason why you don't know Randy Randy Jackson no there's this guy named Randy he was his balding kind of Jewishy but he was like 50 okay right and he was balding he kind of looked Stanley Tucci I know Randy I've heard I've told you've told you about Randy and Randy signed me up for an

open mic at a coffee shop did it for you what he did it for you yeah and I he when they called my name it I didn't do it but he was the first one to get me to like you know I mean and then I did at the comedy store but Randy was he since then which is 25 years don't you ever wish that you could thank Gary Austin or thank Randy and you know when you realize like what if those things seem small no I don't I think what a big impact that is on such an impressionable young 20 year old yeah those are massive things first for anybody yeah they were very very um but then the jealousy came and can I tell you where I'll tell you

can I tell you I want to tell you the first time where I thought to myself wow I don't like what I see yeah so Freddy Soto you know I've talked about Freddy Soto Freddy Soto was one of the best comics guys look him up he's had specials back in the day he passed him and I had him and I were very good friends then not and then toward the end of his life we did a show in Hawaii together I miss him so much and he's so talented I can't even explain to you this dude he was in that movie Splanglish with Adam Sandler he was on his way up dude this guy but anyway Freddy was living in LA and I was in San Diego and Freddy

was a comic we met at the comedy store and he got his first TV spot which is like Friday night videos that was the spot that you would get and he came down one day and he said to me we're in the green room at the comedy store and he goes I got Friday night videos and you know what I said how'd you get that instead of saying congratulations and he pointed out I go see what you just did and I put my head in my hands over my face I don't know that was fucking crazy I hate that you know I don't want to be like that it's ugly but I did what I did you know it's enough it's an ugly way to live right without like kind of

listening and and just reacting in a jealous way in that what in an envious way it's it's not who I want to be you know anyway happy birthday man thanks man that was an epic story but that's how I believe in spiritual awakenings I believe in and then I mean I've talked about this before and then when I got sober this last time yeah 16 years ago a spiritual I've talked about that pulled it out of you yeah yeah so you know it does happen in my life it doesn't have I think that spiritual awakenings don't always have to come in like you don't have to roll out of a car to a spiritual awakening sometimes some

things just change about you and then you wake up feeling drastically different and I'm telling you guys now that happened to me two weeks ago I there was something about episode 154 that was I think the oh the peak of my wherever I was I needed not the peak I needed to crash in that way when I set it on the mic about all the things that I didn't like about myself that's what it took for me to wake up the next day feeling like you know what that's it I lit the on fire under my own ass and she's writing a show right I haven't stopped moving since she hasn't like I seriously have not stopped moving and I didn't do

that alone it's hearing everyone's stories and emails and everybody from the slept kingdom who's written in I swear to you it you don't feel like you have an impact on someone's life because maybe we don't know each other but it did it really really did and it woke me up in a way that I've never felt in my entire life where I feel secure and loved and confident and I'm like what the fuck where did this come from it was always there it was always there things were just ugly things were just compounding over it and I've spent the last two weeks like going back into my past looking at old pictures yeah she's

remembering my father remembering my mother remembering that they're just humans or acknowledging their mistakes it's just being humans not you know not taking anything personally and it's felt fucking good and I'm not even I don't feel manic because I had a tendency to feel manic I don't feel manic I just feel free and I think that I have all of you guys to thank for that you're welcome not just I mean you're welcome you are welcome you know just planting seeds friends planting seeds dream weaving yeah dream weaving but even if nothing comes out of all of this it will that's okay well no I don't want to live

in the results I don't want to live in that all I know is I'm moving and if I fail I feel forward and that's all that it's the direction I want to fail it's just forward I have I want to pay something forward to right now it's a shot in the dark okay yeah but our friend Gardo oh yeah yeah yeah we don't have to announce that I would announce it don't do that you're jinxing it no about the movie you're gonna throw it out in the universe yeah if you have anything to do the rock listening the rock and Robert Zemeckis the new Hawaiian movie if you're casting or whatever our friend Gardo looks Polynesian he went

really far in the groundlings he's super cute he's lean he looks the part of that world good tattoos great tattoos Polynesian tattoos and I've made some phone calls today I really want him good I want to give him that opportunity to audition for that movie and that casting yeah this kid is I really whoever's casting that please please take my recommendation and I will I will go through higher sources if it need be but I need him to get him in that room you know all takes one audition yeah had we really what where are we now on time guild over an hour around now only an hour it felt so much longer I felt like

Bobby's spiritual winning story was 50 minutes I was like in this ride it's a 40 seconds yeah you're a great storyteller I wish that I had the patience and the timing and the buildup of I could never tell a story the way you do it's the pace like my punchline is always in the first two sentences and then I backtrack I'm like okay but well how I got there like well oh god I'm terrible it's like I yelled at my parents I moved to LA yours like you have all these cool things I don't what I wanted to ask you gild is what has been the biggest heartbreak of your life heartbreak like heartache have you ever

had a moment where you're just like the most painful I will say the most painful moment I don't think it's big for a lot of people maybe people that ever in college I am so like definitely growing up I had this habit of being a pathological liar you know that I believe that because I think that you were just coming out of that when I met you yeah I think yeah Cindy definitely helped smack it out on my face oh you know what happens a lot my ex-boyfriend was like that when I first met him too and he's a great guy he just had these bad habits it was a weird habit I think it was just from always joking around and jokes would be

embellishments we just become completely like straight-up lies that I would have to keep up yeah and then I think once I was just didn't care about school right so in college I would take my report cards right my parents are paying for my school I would go in Photoshop I changed all like straight-up F's in these in college because all I would do is play video games I was on a like a major league gaming in Call of Duty when that first came out COD4 yeah and all I did was just skip every final exam didn't give a fuck at all and I would change the grades hey mom and dad I listen to this now and then I would

just get a degree no I dropped out to do pursue acting and everything good decision yeah so I went to school changed all the grades and then it would just say A's and B's and then I think what happened eventually is it caught up to me and I couldn't like bear a lot especially to my mom because like she's hustling she's working I mean she worked basically two jobs I mean she was putting on credit cards it wasn't even alone I wasn't doing alone on credit cards so and I just like one day I just started crying in my house while I was ready to show them the fake the new fake report yeah I just started crying and

then my mom just saw me downstairs crying and she goes what's wrong and I just couldn't as first time in my life I've ever like not been able to talk just tears tears tears and then she like took me to her car like let's just drive yeah and just let me cry in the car for an hour and then if I was able to talk I told her it's like I told her it's all fake and then she goes I this is ridiculous like a movie stop I like it I like you rolled out of a car I say no I like it I know I like it I know I'm just I when I watch a movie sometimes I laugh yeah so go ahead and then basically then I told her cuz I might always was

fear is like disappointing your parents especially the Asian mentality based that's what happens culturally that's what happens I thought they're gonna kill me my mom was like it's okay I love you and then let's restart and then I was it I love your mom and then after that that's when I was like cool fuck you guys I moved to Chicago to be an actor that's what happened God I love your mom but see that's that's something I feel like oh god like that that unconditional motherly love well not for everyone but some your mom's dope I really like her I respect her I think you'll be a great mom you think I'm so right you're so

bright and nurturing I see you with the dogs and the animals and you really just care you'll be a little like Romulan about or a falcon about it I think like what in what way just the rules and you know I mean I have to you have a logical you know but I think because you experience what you do with your mom you would obviously change a lot of no I think you'd be strict I think that I would be reasonably strict I think you would grab tongues you think the same as your mom grab a kid's tongue yeah and you know I'm breaking the cycle it's it ends with me guys I am not gonna beat my kids I know the end result of that

it's not good I'm not gonna do that I'm gonna reprimand reasonably but you know it's like if when you're when I think of the times my dad exploded in a temper tantrum yeah it's shocking to me because I'm a kid and I don't know a lot of people you know I'm I'm in under this roof there's nowhere else to go you know I need to eat and so this you're just kind of stuck in there you're seven yeah where are you gonna go right and you see a man you know melt down but in retrospect he's just a guy right a dude just going through his own life and you know human beings have meltdowns they have temper tantrums you know and it's

like you know I just didn't look at it from an adult point of view it's the kid responding to you know I mean an adult being a human yeah you know I mean him beating me that's a little you know it's a little weird because like you know I'm with Sandra the kid yeah and I'm not around ever a kid so he's the only kid I really remember around and they I don't know why but you know him and I talk a lot friends best no he's a bright kid like you know I mean you know you did you watch the Invisibles I like you know theoretically this would could possibly you know he's a smart kid right yeah and to me it's like that's the

age where my dad used to beat me with golf club right and I look at Sandra his little little bones you know he's a little kid you know and I'm like how could how could my dad beat me no matter what my kid that brittle and small and innocent even he said fuck you gook monster to me I'd be like why'd you call me and you go gook monster okay time out mom I got called Kaleila handle handle that you call me gook monster but I would never beat him with a golf club yeah that's insane I also read I've been reading this book but you know how like Freud or Carol Young always talked about like trauma being like basically

determines your outlook on life and how you live your life but the opposite side of that was a man named Steven Adler who basically says all your traumas don't exist like your traumas don't determine you at all and that I it when we talk about all of this it kind of it in a way it kind of set me free because he's like basically if you subscribe to that way of thinking that's determinism that's basically saying everything that's happened in your past everything that's happening now as a result of your past and there was no way to change that that's not actually taking the reins of your own life and moving forward does

that makes any sense he's way more articulate and way more I probably don't explain it in a way that he can but in a sense it kind of for someone who's experienced a lot of trauma and in her life it it kind of set me free a little bit it felt nice but you know what you're right right but um what a great podcast melancholy but still everything insightful yeah um good good good ideas good ideas fresh talk we got some unhelpful advice go ahead yeah unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalila and that's it hi guys I was gonna say George is here to you George Kimmel George I'd like to

hear your advice on this yes let's have George answer this is from our good friend Michelle what's up Michelle hi guys I'm dating someone in the industry and he recently booked a play as one of the leads I'm really happy for him but my problem is the play is of the explicit and romantic variety what this means is he is regularly rehearsing passionate kissing and sex scenes with his co-star my question is Kalila how far are you willing to let Bobby go with another woman for a role how would you feel watching them perform these scenes on screen thank you so much I don't care if Bobby is getting dipped down and

ass around by fucking six co-stars because Robert Zemeckis was like this is the gangbang scene and he gets raped in the butt we need her to rehearse it all even if it was Gardo gay bank I don't care what he does why did I have to be gay why'd you say woman I'm trying to paint your fantasy babe because you know those things though I mean I've I have actually done I did a couple of movies not one movie where I did have to like kind of roll around with a couple of girls you've been with me when you've had like kissing scenes with women yeah and it's not it's it's yeah it's not it's not what you think it's it literally is

it's weird it is essentially a stranger well yeah well Jane Lynch I made out with watch that Jane Lynch one yeah yeah I I have absolutely no qualms or feelings about that because that's his job and he has I mean the the woman who places wife on the show is drop a dead gorgeous Lindsay Price is just a goddess if it ever if it was ever like oh yeah you know I it wouldn't it wouldn't be a blip in my radar it wouldn't have any it wouldn't worry me at all but he's an actor let him be an actor okay if you made another one if cloud was an actress would you be I don't give a fuck yeah he wouldn't either yeah Tom Harney

please who else you're naming all the good ones hello Bobby Clalic hi Gilbert and George my name is Matthew I'm at I'm a 20 year old university student in Seattle Washington every once in a while Bobby will bring up how he was unfuckable in his early 20s and that when he started doing comedy it made him more attractive to women I am very ugly picture this kid he's so wrong have an extremely feminine face that is true due to my race Chinese and Finnish and I'm short 5-8 that you're fine you're fine you're fucking in I really identify with Bobby's struggle and want to know how he overcame it in his head not 5-8 fuck

nuts but I cannot learn how to accept myself and bring myself to not care about my parents you need this look I gotta look at them before you continue okay I'll go look around yeah he's looks like a model I think I think he's he's not bad it's cute you know what fuck you kid fuck you kid he's gonna be a male model he just totally just angered me right now this is what Gilbert always does whatever he sees like you know what you do a 5a no that kid is cute so he's a chiseled jolly yeah yeah also here's the reason why you feel that way it's because you have a boyish look that's good no when he gets older just grow out

of beard you're fine sweetheart he's fine now I bet you he's a model and he's just how do you say yanking my chain I said how you say does that pull in my chain pull in my chain I am a jazz but also look I do I need a hobby or passion similar to how Bobby did with common order to track women I am a jazz guitarist but I wouldn't consider that very impressive he's also 20 but he probably is not cool it's like jazz man you don't think it's cool until you're older and everyone thinks it's cool look kid you are insanely attractive and you are talented and you are gonna get by just fine you don't need our advice

you're already killing it just decide what you're doing is interesting that's the thing like if he if he thinks jazz guitar isn't interesting then anybody you talk so about it's gonna be bored to true if he thinks it's interesting just yeah act like act like it is I look at his last sentence part of my struggle is that I'm so ugly that it has this decimated my confidence oh my gosh but even in the event that you do have some type of body dysmorphia and you truly think you're ugly and you can't get out of that there's nothing that we can say to help him think think out of that just do what Bobby does get good at things

get funny you know I think that the suffering and all the whatever you it takes for you to get to where you need to be go through it the pain and suffering is a part of life it's a great motivator and I'm still going through it I'm gonna talk I want to I don't want to talk about why I'm going through it but I am going through it and hopefully it'll motivate me you know but it you know shut up kid also you you might I hope that you do gain some confidence but I really do like don't change that about yourself don't become this like super cocky thing sees the shit yeah I like I do like that you sort of think you're

ugly I mean I don't because I want you to be a confident kid he'll be a much more interesting when he's older because of this the way this looks yeah and jazz guitar I mean he looks like you could be an international star people who are good-looking when they're young are boring that's true if they know what they get boring because they don't have to do anything else I had to work really hard for hot boys you look at David Beckham he's killed it you saw my high school pictures oh yeah your ideas see no one believes that thank you thank you Gilbert thank you I am ugly no it was all fucking gums it was my gum to two

three true was not good my dentist dr. Sibble had to cut off like half my mouth oh dr. Sibble well well thank you for listening to another episode of tiger belly I'm not so bro so there's papaya on cruelty reborn shadow play whoo-hoo and let's you know let's do it you know I mean peace out God love love it be it guys um any and any announcements look at Julio if you're on audio sorry Julio down by the schoolyard any reverse shoutouts shoutouts that you'd like to give to the people's no no just shout out to everybody shout out shout out to oh you know what shout out to my cousin Annabelle shout out to

Annabelle in Germany oh and black Bobby Lee shout out to him oh yeah respect me I hope you enjoyed those $200 worth of drinks from Kalila she broke now George anything I'm just a reminder if you're listening to this we do also have a YouTube channel if you're watching this we do also have it on audio and all podcast platforms we haven't reminded folks of that so in case they're new babe that's right we never plug our patreon oh right up front we always say we're gonna but we never do we had a big announcement on Monday oh okay cool yeah but if you're interested but good segue if you're still listening if you

are a fan you don't have to but if you'd like to have some extra content of us chit chatting doing some weird things in the future on audio make sure you check out our patreon.com slash tiger belly yeah we'd love to have you join on that little journey we're doing right now in the dark because we do it all in the dark it's very fun I love patreon days they're my favorite patreon days is that it guys I think that's it I want some of that fudge brownie so can we end this yeah I hated that cupcake so much that I secretly ate it off camera it was so gross that I kept just stuffing it in my mouth yeah thanks also what is the

let's give a shout out to them what was this place linkster well no don't do that because basically Bobby said is the worst cupcake he's ever had well I like that it wasn't really sweet it tricked me at first and then you know I'm gonna crash it's interesting keto's gonna be bleeding on my butt that's okay it's your birthday enjoy it Kala what can we follow you you can follow me at calamity k that's k h l a m i t y k calamity k calamity George we follow you at Bryce Halleck where is it George underscore Kimmel you can follow all Bobby Lee stuff at gilbets

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