TigerBelly - Episode 159: Eleanor Kerrigan & The Twenty Year War

Episode Date: September 12, 2018

Eleanor is the EZ Rider. Bobo plays dirty to survive. We talk shitball soup, a bathroom rumor, and squash a twenty year long grudge. Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Hey, hi. Hi. Hi. Hey. Hi, Gilbert. Hey, Bobby.

George, what's up? What's up? What's up? We got, uh, white man Bryce. What's up, white man Bryce? Hey, what's up? We had a little cat that was like, hey, what's up? We had a little cat that was nice, huh?

Yeah. Uh, we got Gilbert in the house. How are you life? Hey, pretty good. How are you life? How are you life? Good? Pretty good.

Yeah. We got my girlfriend, Kalyla. And listen guys, um, this is a very special podcast. It's probably one of the most special guests I've ever had on the show. We've had what? We've had a lot of good people. John Street, Jordan Peele, Dave Navarro, that was a good one, a lot of good one. But this one is literally my favorite because, um, just, I would just do a little back intro

to it. There's, there's, I know, they're literally, I'm just, I want to be real, okay? There's not a human being out there that I hated more. I mean, you, like, when I watched like Schindler's list, right? And I knew, you know, they didn't show Hitler in it, but I probably hated this girl more than Hitler. I mean, I used to pray to God that he would take her off the face of the planet. Yeah.

But the funny thing about life, but the funny thing, oh, very mutual, very mutual. Okay. And what this is like, these are life lessons and you know, Papa talks about life lessons all the time. All the time. Right. You never know. The Lord surprises you with many gifts and opens your heart.

If your heart is open, okay. And we have, now this woman, she's a comic, very funny, and that's very difficult for me to say, but she's very funny. That was difficult to say. I'm bleeding. But I said it. Um, she, um, is here, she's very funny. Eleanor Kerrigan.

Give her a round of applause. Yeah. You may talk now. Eleanor. It's amazing. What an intro. Yeah. I wish you would bring me on stage like that.

What are my intros with you? I don't think I've ever followed you, but I've intro'd you and they've been quite nicely. Not only that, she intro'd me when we had our 20 year war. Yeah. Right. 20 years? Yeah. I imagine not liking somebody for 20 years.

See, you're a hateful person. That's why you hate me. Yeah. I'm not a hateful. I didn't hate you. Yeah. To me, you didn't exist. That's a different.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's an evolved kind of hate. It's like evaporated. I think it was never there. Yeah. Yeah.

So when, in the 20 years, I mean, we, I mean, we've talked about it on. Thank you for the prayers. Yeah. You're welcome. The comedy store podcast, we talked about it, but I don't think a lot of my listeners have heard the story. So, um, I think we should just kind of give them a little history real quick. All right.

Let's start over. All right. Let's revisit. When I first came to LA in 1997, Ellen, yeah, that's when I first moved. I think I met you before that. You were in San Diego. I was in San Diego. Yeah.

And I was friends with, um, we don't want to, we don't have to get into them because, and I've only, I've only said great things about them on the podcast, but I was friends with, uh, Freddie Soto and he was your best friend. Yes. Um, there was, there were like so close. Um, and Freddie and I had a thing and when it came up to LA, what kind of thing? Yeah. Did you have a thing?

Yeah. That thing is very big. I remember you first coming and we went to, was it Ben Franks then or Melz or something? Right. And we were trying to help you like you were going to sign with Worthy or whatever. We were both like, no, no. And then you signed with him. I'm like, oh, this guy's an asshole.

Anything. Like everything we told you not to do, you're like, I'm going to do that. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Because I thought Worthy was, I literally thought Worthy was real and he was the only one that expressed any kind of richer, uh, I mean, uh, interest. I don't say richer.

Why did you say richer? Any riches? No, but you're right. He was interested and he loved comics. So he was, he was a hustler. He was a hustler. Definitely. So I signed with him and then it slowly turned bad for me with Freddie where he just wouldn't

talk to me. And then, you know, you want to say why or you're not going to say why? Well, I mean, I, the reason why I know the reason why it's not the reason why you think it is. Okay. Interesting. Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah.

So there was a fight that I had with Freddie in La Jolla about Fred Burns, right? And that I believe, right, was, was the, was the separation between him and I and we went to blows almost. Yeah. Yeah. And so when I came to LA, um, I don't want to get into it because the thing is, is that I only have positive things to say about Freddie. I, I love him so much and you know, he passed unfortunately and, um, but when I came to

LA, um, Eleanor and Freddie's girlfriend, Princess Corey, that's a real name that it is a real name. Self-percoin. Self-percoin. No. She's not Philippine. Why? Because only Filipinos name their children after like Princess Diana or Elton John.

Yeah. Interesting. I didn't know that. That's what she named herself. Princess. Oh, okay. Tell Eleanor some of the weird names that Filipinos have. Manny Pacquiao's daughter, um, is- Manny Pacquiao, you could have just stopped right

there. That's awesome. His daughter is named Queen Elizabeth. So weird. It's weird, right? What are some other weird, like there's fixture, like- Are you Filipino? Yeah. Oh, you are?

Yeah. You look so disgusted by that. Why did you look like that, baby? No, I'm proud of it. Yeah. But that's not what your face said. You're like, I am. That's the reality.

No. Yeah. I'm happy. Good. She doesn't- she's, um, half. No, I'm Filipino, so that's what I identify with. I understand that, but I think genetically you're half. What's the other half?

Sure. Well, it's up to- it's really Bobby's decision. It's up to Bobby. Yeah. Don't make it up. Let's get a- French. Let's get a little kit.

French. Wobby cheek. Yeah. No, she's half Egyptian. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because I- I wouldn't pinya as a- not that I'm racist, but I can always- all right, maybe I am a little bit.

But Princess Corey sounds very much like a- That's interesting. Yeah, yeah. No name. That's- her name was just Corey and the people just called her Princess Corey? No, she called herself Princess Corey. And then people just went, okay, that's what we're going to call her? Yeah.

Hey, she's wearing a ball gown. Why would we question it? Yeah. She had a TR and a ball gown. It was like a Monday morning. Do you think people that change their names, they just one day just wake up and they just say, no, you're calling me this from now on? Yeah.

Like Sting. I'm Sting now. I'm like, oh, hey Sting, or the edge, right? Like, what's his real name? You should know White Guy. Whoa. I almost know. The thing is, I should have- should know this because I was into you two.

Fuck. That's a great white voice that you got. Is that a real one? I love how she goes back. Yeah. Shit. I thought you were- Is that a character?

No, that's just weird. No. That's- we found a real- Scary shit out of him. We found a real one. We found a real- I know. I know. It scares me on a daily basis, but yeah.

I know it's very scary. I know. He sounds like- So sorry. Somebody doing an impression of a white guy. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was any griffin.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so that's just a real voice and- We got ready and turning. And it's a real shame. It's a real shame. I know. That's how we get.

It's gross. Yeah. It is gross. Why do you get so pink? I'm pink too. And I'm like, is it your dish? Scott's Irish. Oh yeah.

The same shit. Same alcoholism. Oh, my God. Yeah. And then so for years, just I just- in my head, I'm like Freddy doesn't like me. Eleanor doesn't like me either. But we had a separate fight. Why are we together?

I mean, I know I was close with Freddy, but- What was our fight? Oh, my God. The Kirk thing? Yeah. The Kirk thing. The Kirk thing. No, do we-

We love the Kurs on them. Yeah, yeah, when's the last time I talked about the Kirk thing? It was recent, right? The tie guy on last so people don't know about this. That was on page. Oh, that was a patreon So you need to explain it. I have to explain it. Yeah, all right. So, um, wait, you did a patreon about this Yeah, yeah Yeah, you really think I really do think about a lot So make it I'm gonna just make a quick story

As quick as I can. Yeah, um, it's already too long. So in my head, right? Cory and Eleanor became the talakrinators at the store, but that's not true. I know I get it I hear you you weren't the talakrinator. Nope. What's Cory? Yes. Okay, but you were up there with her helping her Sometimes because Scott day when he quit. Yeah, I was his assistant a little bit. Yeah He would you know, no, which he wouldn't show up on Mondays. Yeah So I would fill in so I knew a little bit so Mitzi asked me to help her. Okay, that's all So for some reason I would stop getting spots. That's not true. Yeah, I did and in my head I thought it was you and Cory doing it

We would never had anything to do with the spots I know but that but some I think somebody had said to me that I would she wasn't getting my avails That's crazy. I know I'm not saying that I'm just saying Cory was the worst like town coordinator in that You know when people call in. Yeah, and she gave Mitzi everyone's name where a day would narrow it down Right, who he liked. So there was a while where Mitzi was sick and you could tell the From the lineup. It was literally alphabetical. So Like it was so bad Yeah, but in my but that was later Cory wasn't there when that was happening

But in my young paranoid head, I thought the world was out to get me and so when so then one day Paulie goes We have a new manager Kirk Right, he's Thai just like you Right, that's what Paulie said, of course He looks Chinese. Yeah, I did right that's evil and he shows up and this guy was like Pull pot like he was Like he didn't belong in a comic book, but he ran it for 10 years in the 80s Oh my god, they brought him back because they were like whole takeover. Yeah, he'll fix it

Yeah, but what Kirk would do because I was Asian is that he would put me up on stage Yeah, you go you want to go up even if I have a spot and I was working the door He would override the you would override the lineup and just throw me up on stage all the time Well, I never knew that. Yeah, so I because I would have squashed it. I Know what I right I thought of Kirk as an ally Got it. Did I like him? No, he was crazy crazy Yeah, I mean, I mean, it's amazing that he was nice to you because like he would send cap cap an era home He would send like big comics like he would be like you're late. Go home

Yeah, yeah, you can't kick him out. I know I know and the comics went crazy They went crazy. So it's fun. And he was also none of the Dorman liked him. Yeah, right? Nobody liked him, but the only one that liked him was me But you also led the charge against him What do you mean when we were gonna stand up to him because I had my own fight with the waitresses He was no, but let me stop stop. Well, I thought I exposed the the the the the signatures. Oh Oh boy, you're bringing up something different. What do you mean signatures? He outed you guys I thought I outed you guys to Pauly about

Exposing Kirk that I put us I try to put a stop to it. No, well, here's it in the beginning You were on the door guys side. Okay. Let's go. This makes me look I just want to say this right now. I understand that it's making me look like such a weasel Yeah, right, and it makes me funny that you bring up weasel. Yeah, here's what happened Yeah, weasel a.k.a. Paulie. Yeah Said dude, why is everybody mad at Kirk and you were like, I'm not and you were the only one that They all got mad at you, right? And so did I

Because I was like, dude, I stood up for the door guys in a meeting That I would never stand up for the door guys. They're not my job. Yeah, I was the waitress I was a head waitress. So I stood up for them and then but it was Pauly who's I'm gonna say was manipulating you Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like hey Bobby look at this like be on my side I thought it was I thought it was you had something signed that everyone signed. This is how I saw it Okay, you might have some people to talk That there was it there was it there was it you know me like hundreds of signatures and I told Pauly Yeah, everybody's doing coke in the light

Comics are getting herpes. I'm getting screamed at I don't know. What's happening? Why would I think why would I get What you're saying to me then is that I'm Advocated all of this in my head through this I told you you made up a lot of things Because when you don't talk to someone right when you don't express to someone like for years I thought this person didn't like me and I finally said something. They're like, oh, no, I'm afraid of you. I'm like, what yeah Yeah, who's afraid of me? Oh, yeah, I do. You know, I'm kind of an asshole But you know you forget you're like, okay, I can be intimidating Yeah, forget but because of that and then so let's I misunderstood it

And then we used to fight in the kitchen, you remember our last fight was in the kitchen about the pool But right balls about okay, it's not rice balls and nobody says poo Okay, maybe the white guy says I'm from South Phillip Pooh is on a menu somewhere No, I shit balls shit balls before all this started right so that was probably I Put a negative Yeah, this is what she used to say. I'm just saying

How do you Filipino? Okay, okay, the Asians in her neighborhood growing up in South Philly. Yeah, I used to pick shit balls Wait, what we call them shit balls. They were little ginko. Somebody sent me a thing I think it's ginko balls. They grow on trees and they really truly smell like hardcore sewer shit And when we would play football if we got it on our clothes, my mother would lose her shit. She was like, just burn your clothes outside No one likes you She hated it. She hated it. And so for years, they were like, don't play the shit balls are out there So we had a fine. We would play Tackle football on cement because we couldn't go on the grass because it's shit balls

Yeah, so one day we saw all these Asian ladies picking it up. So I was like What's about right sounds about right I went over and I go and I don't know nothing I'm an Irish kid living in an all-Italian neighborhood. Yeah, all I know are meatballs Possibly I don't know anything. Yeah, and I go over and I'm like, what do you do it? Like it's not apples Those things stink she goes oh we make a soup Right, okay, but now when she's telling me this right, I don't know what kind of Asian she I know But in my head, it's an attack on me, of course, right because I'm sitting there I don't think she likes me as it is right. You hear you. She's talking about your people eat shit balls

Right, and I'm like what I've never heard of that you make you guys do you guys make soup out of the shit Right, and I'm like that's an attack on my fucking heritage, bitch Know what I'm just I remember I was on the phone one time with my dad and I was telling him about Bobby Because this is when we were like human to each other and I was like he's Korean and he goes north or south girl South 100% okay, lady Calm down fucker. So then years and then after that Just we just years just quiet like silence because to me like I said he evaporated. Yeah to me. She existed

Like I would see her in the hallway, and I'd have to I hate that. I'm sorry. Yeah, I don't have in my head I had to go gotta go around Yeah, I go around not and that's every almost every night because I was a waitress there for 12 years It's not even a head nod or anything Yeah, they should close you ever hang out with Irish people. No. Oh my god. Yeah, we shut down. Yeah, she shut down Oh, I evaporated. She's right Brutal. Yeah, he could have been in the hallway and to me. That was just a ghost Like I sort of got she would even have conversations with people that are friends with

Around me right like if he was there, I'd be talking to you Yeah, and and I know and it went on I'm sorry But it's 20 years up and but then I left for a year and came back After Friday past as a comic which is even worse for him I didn't know he had all this stuff Up in his head. Yeah, I was just like, okay, let me get better at stand-up but avoid Bobby Yeah, and I wasn't a regular so I was just doing you wouldn't come in on those nights that mostly I was there Yeah, but I would I little I swore to God a

Couple of times I knew you're on stage and I would go in to see you and I in my head. I'm like, please bomb Like please not be fun. See how negative I'm not and then when she and then when she would get a laugh It would ruin my whole week It would step us it would devastate me. I'd be laying in bed like dear God, please give her lung cancer Like I hated her that I'm not I'm being real right now. Yeah, no, and I appreciate yeah Yeah, but then when I became a cop I was like, okay I'm gonna be professional because to me I was raised technically by Mitzi in the comedy store Yeah, where it was the comedy store not the waitress store

Let me give you shit about the wait staff or the door guy the comics were important So it's he was a hierarchy Technically, so I'm like can't fuck with that in my head So one time he came in to do a I was hosting open mic and he came in to do a spot Oh, gosh, and I was so nervous and I think I mentioned every single thing you've ever done Intra like ridiculous like it was almost overboard and at the time Yeah, yeah, Ari should fear and you hadn't made up yet Oh

Ari was sitting in the audience so many battles. Yeah So, you know, it's so imagine now I'm gonna tell you this right now. I've been in battles Okay, yeah, I'm a fucking warrior for life, and I'm not gonna make excuses for that. Okay, sit. All right That's it I'm a deceiver. I you read but let me say something. It's all based anyway, right? I'm a deceiver I'm 23. I love it. Great. But the thing is is this is that you know the slept king Papa Papa Papa, right? What happened? That's me. Okay. Okay, your papa. I am Papa as well. Yeah. Yeah, the captain. Okay. I'm the captain. I'm the captain, okay

All right, Princess Cory I'm a lot of things okay, and I'm not I'm ashamed a lot of it, but yes, I've been in many wars Well, this was the funny thing. I did that intro I get off and I'm like, okay Hopefully he won't be mad, you know, he didn't see that it was fake and I go over and argue But you didn't have to go that far But you also at that time and don't get mad, but I'm gonna bring it up Okay, I know this is your podcast But you told Tommy if he made me a regular you would never come in there again

Yeah, oh my god. You said that. Oh, yeah Now did I ever tell Tommy if you fucking give Apologize for that. All right. I'm just telling you right now I want to apologize to for that and that was like low that was probably of all the things you guys mentioned the lowest Yes, well that I was a direct hit where I was like fuck cuz Tommy told me cuz he never not told anybody Why did you tell me that and now that you said that I feel shame I Do I smile? I'm not doing a shame walk. I'm absorbing. I'm absorbing the shame and we already went through this

I understand we're doing it again though. Let me shed it therapy. Okay therapy. Yeah, I'm ashamed of that and I'm not justifying to sleepers out there listening All right, I'm not justifying, you know anything But it was out of survival But what I did was so fucked up and I'm really sure I was kidding about that. All right, it's not about survival What I did in a battle flip-flops at night You fuck your white fucking laugh right now It's really just fucking grating on me right now. I love it though. Let it out

Yes, I think I did I remember do telling Tommy that here's another thing that you did just to start if we're gonna do it All right, so just get it out there right so one day I'm at the comedy store and a couple of comics go to me and goes Eleanor's at the Laugh Factory is telling everyone she's telling everyone upstairs that you're gay No full-blown you sucked off Andy Dick in the bathroom and all these fucking things and I'm like what? Yeah Time out yeah time out. Here's the deal. Yeah What the hell's that guy's name Ashley Hamilton? It was Ashley Hamilton. That's right. Ashley Hamilton New guy kind of gullible whatever. I

And his father his father's an actor George George. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah great guy great guy And he's trying him and I started stand-up together, but I have a long history with comics So we're sitting there with Brian Holtzman. Yeah, and this guy So we have Brian Holtzman we're sitting there and Ashley's like well my favorite comics poppy glee or something like that We all mean for Brian immediately go into So we both look at each other That one, you know Holtzman has no idea of our history. Yeah, yeah, no idea whatsoever. Yeah, he's a little gay And he goes no, he's not gay Ashley says that yeah. Oh, yeah

Yeah, because that was a rumor right that somebody brought to me why that they caught you in the main Stop stop stop. No, no, I don't I'm not I don't I'm gonna shamed Yeah, yeah, I'm telling you what the rumor is. Yeah, I didn't start it I'm gonna tell you this right now because I'm he started his own room No, no, no, he tends to do that a lot. No, I'm gonna tell you what it is. Yeah, okay Is one night years ago Andy Dick was at the comedy store Yeah, it was Andy Dick, okay, and he was blitzed out of his mind and this is when news radio So he was like didn't we have a party. It was a party that night. Yeah, I remember cleaning up like a

It was right saying he was wild that night. Yeah, I went to the bathroom as a doorman. I have the comedy structure on Right. He follows me in there, right? And he pulls his dick out Mmm, and I walked out of the fucking bathroom. That's all that happened. Okay, but other doorman. I know I know They saw me walk in there with them, but let me say this right now. Have I have I suck dick before? Yes Yeah, but I don't know any of I'm telling you right now. I just I never but I never did it at the comedy store I did it as a younger man. I believe you and I thank you sweetie I actually do. Thank you so much. Only reason is you've always been pretty transparent about all your previous dick sucking that why? Why would you deny sucking a dick of a celebrity? So alright, so that so I I ratted you out right to Tommy

You try to spread the rumor that I Know but he came to the store He came to the comedy store Ashley Hamilton looks at me right in my face I thought he called you. No, he look he came. Okay, because you're gay Like I'm not get what? I don't tell everybody you're gay, you know, what if he told his dad George Hamilton thinks you're gay I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck and and literally literally The rate I had such great. You had the eye trembles. Oh, yeah, I was like just polyps your eyes tremble

No, it's just Yeah, so would that happen and so now many people listen listening to us right now Think wow. Well How in God's name did you resolve your differences? That's true. Right in it and it was literally the last thing I wanted to do You know, but I'm glad it happened. Is it is it true that when? Okay, let's do this after Freddie passed. Yeah You were on the patio and you said to another comic. Do you think Eleanor and I'll ever resolve our issues?

And they said that died with Freddie soda. Yeah That was real. Yeah See and I always kept that in my head because that person told me yeah Yeah, that's crazy how you can carry that much vitriol for Eleanor and you're not even clear about what happened, right? Like, you know, it's everything we imagine our enemies We imagine so many bad things because you know, you're just on the defense a lot. Yeah But also years of it's it's been so long, but I can be cold so it can come off like yeah That makes sense. Yeah, cuz when somebody's that cold and shuts down

I'm an ass. I get it. She she if I don't like you Yeah, it's it's but it's not that you know what I discovered since now last couple years. We've been friends. How long has it been? It's only been a couple months A couple of years before it's been over a year though. It's been over. Yeah, you did the podcast last year You last year that was ballsy of me to ask you. That was insane. No, so what was the first interaction? I don't I literally was at the comedy store about a year ago. Yeah, right in the basement Yeah in the basement and Eleanor was just hanging out. We just finished doing a podcast Yeah, and I was just like when she's around at that point. I was just like I don't care

You know, I don't really care, but then she looks at me Right, and I'm like, what the fuck is this for the first time in 20 years? Yeah, what the fuck is this? This is scary. So what now you exist and she goes, hey, you want to do the podcast? What do you do? I go, yeah, I didn't think about it. Did you look behind you to see if she was talking through you and there was I'm not I wouldn't be surprised if he did because he used to go to Philadelphia and think I was gonna have him killed I mean, I could Be here too So when she said that I couldn't believe my ears and I immediately said yes because

When you're walking around with that much Fucking garbage luggage Garbage it's garbage luggage. It's like you're just wait. It's on your back And you're walking around and then you realize one day. You don't even know why it's there You're carrying all this bullshit, you know, and it's dumb and it's irrelevant And when she said it it was almost like I was able to drop one piece and Just go clunk. There's one piece and then when we did the podcast It was pretty intense. It was pretty intense, but good. Yeah, because Rick

Ingram my co-host had no idea. Yeah sitting there in shock Watching a tennis match. It's unbelievable. He didn't have any idea, but it's so crazy. I don't talk about it like I wasn't Like again, you evaporate it. So it wasn't I hate to say it like that But I really wouldn't talk about it. Like if somebody said I I can remember being on the road with dice and people come up Oh my god, I was at the comedy store. Do you know Bobby Lee? I'd be like, oh, yeah, and they're like, he's my favorite I'm like, that's awesome. Go kill yourself Want to buy a t-shirt like that's what I would do. I never said anything negative. Yeah. Yeah, cuz you never know who's

Right, but I could never say you weren't funny. I couldn't say that. I could say a lot of things about you Yeah, but I couldn't say that because he was funny. Yeah, but um And then I said now let's talk about post now. Yeah, who the post would have a post, you know, the year The year of um having a friend would you call it a friendship? Oh, yeah, it's hard. It's hard. Is it hard? It's pretty hard. Yeah. Is it hard? It's not hard No, again, I don't think about it, but it is different. Yeah. So it's like oh shit But did you think though that this we'd ever be friends? Not really, but again, I didn't ever think about it. Like

Right But at the same time like now when I come in the parking lot, I'm like, oh, I don't have to Talk around this guy. Yeah, I can actually say hello to this guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like kind of re getting to know you Yeah, can I say this when I see you? I I feel joy And then I feel like that's No, I run up. Do I not run up to you? Yeah, but it's it's more like a mocking. Oh, I know No, it's I don't what I first of all he's like I need a hug Yeah, yeah, but that's everybody. Yeah, that makes me awkward. Yeah

Or like sure her back will be turned and I'll hug her from behind. Yeah, and I'm like, oh come on Yeah, yeah, but I now when I see her it's excitement and and joy which is A miracle, but it's also like it's it's a bandage that was pulled off like all right. We don't have to friggin deal with this It is. Yeah, it should have been like that for 20 years Well, it wasn't I know it wasn't but it should have been weird. Yeah, and now with arie too with my thing with arie How long did it take you to make up an arie?

Oh, he only did four years. Yeah, only four years. The jews are easy to The irish you can't get us to fold. Well, koreans are stubborn you know Like the irish, I don't I notice probably a stubborn as irish I'm gonna say I don't hang out with enough koreans to know and but yeah, your fault that I don't hang out a lot of like Quick rage Wait a minute. You say just koreans because I would say the whole continent Possibly koreans, especially I guess even compared to like

Convenience store. Yeah, they freak out on you. Yeah, but their rage is very quick if they go from speaking speaking speaking 100 straight 100 percent screaming And then he comes down pretty quickly you come down quickly. I do but when it comes to and it's I don't know what it is But when it comes to and and this is When it comes to My stage time Or being a stand-up. Of course your lively. It's it's literally everything for me back then And any perceived danger to it

Was automatically something that I had to kill Right or fight off. I remember being like, um, I would do the same thing right like like If I was at an open mic And I signed up and then I would they come up to me. Yeah, you're not going up Because we have too many people but all everyone else that signed up. Yeah, but you know, I don't know you so, you know And in my head it would be not just, you know, oh, I'll just let it go. It was like I remember you I remember you and I'm gonna get you But that's the all in no other circumstances and I like that in

But when it comes to like comp like if I hear a comic badmouth me to a club owner or something like that Right, it would it would it would generate You mean a resentment and like you're fucking with my livelihood And it's just it's just and I perceived Eleanor and Corey and freddy for a long time Like that that they were people that I had to fight You know and um, and some of my behavior Was in retrospect, um Appalling

But am I admit and do I admit do I do I I'm sorry? I admit it You know, I um, I feel like I'm getting better In every area of my life Even like when I'm you know, you know, when I was on med tv and I used to shit in people's offices or I'm sorry What yeah, or are you still shit balls? Or I would fart You know, I mean in people's faces and just getting trouble. I crashed the company car when I was on med tv

I would just do things and I would act out, you know in a Like I'm a rebellious comic and you can't tell me what to do kind of a thing. Okay, and now It's 100 percent The opposite like I show up on time. I listen to you know, I mean I You know if they want me to stay as long you grew up It took a while. It's not that it's I think yeah, I did grow up. It's a grow-up thing Yeah, I think it is but I I've I can see How the years

have changed me And I also know that Not one event is going to ruin me or Or you know me back in the day you thought that one bad thing was gonna take you down or I'm still doing that Yeah, there goes my future, you know, whereas now I know. Oh that guy doesn't like me. It's fine. I mean, I've never been to Montreal Right and so, you know in my successful Yeah, I mean also, but I've done other things, you know like, you know, um

And I don't one thing isn't going to Destroy me one thing is not going to make me either It's accumulation of the just me staying in it and just constantly, you know, auditioning and going up and And just being present, you know, maybe not thinking everybody's out to get you. Yeah That's also, you know, that's a very narcissistic trait To think everybody's out to get you. Yeah, so you're just very you're still very focused on yourself and you think that people are taking the time to To bother to speak about you to think about you to even like when you audition say for instance and you're like

That was the worst audition ever. I can never see that person again in your head You're thinking that that person is going to remember you that person's not going to remember. Yeah Yeah, they see five thousand people So I have actually seen people that I have auditioned for And they're like so cool But in my head, I'm like, oh, I'm out for you know, it's we I mean I have problems. But we I feel like everybody does that Yeah, you know, a lot of people do that. I know people don't like me talking about show biz and all that stuff, but What's that mean?

I don't want I don't like to get too deep into like, you know, the biz the politics or politics or the biz Yeah The NACA circuit, yeah, see you around the circuit. Yeah, there was an open mic or I remember you said that on our podcast and I laughed so hard. I was like see you around the circuit I got there is no circuit. If somebody said I'll see you around the circuit. I would have taken a sword out of my car See you around the circuit. I know it's just grounds for immediate termination. Well It's so funny because last night I saw a girl at in the ballet room And she was new at comedy

She'd done it maybe two or three times and she had an okay set The audience it was a bringer room. I think and they laughed at her and you could see her walk off stage And see you know, I mean the belief. Yeah, the belief is going right and still had hope right right and the change Right and and the future. I mean all of it right in her face, right? And I giggled to myself I go that's gonna go away real fast. But it's like um So when he opened micro goes, I'll see you around the circuit, right? I get what it is It's like him trying to go. I'm a comic too. Yeah, I've got you don't know me. I'll be around the same thing But I want to tell that person. No

No, you're not, you know, and um, you should whisper it Right in their ear. Yeah creepy. I've done so I've ever talked about how through that glass Through a glass. Oh my god, dude. There's this girl. You threw a glass at a girl. No, I'll get the wall Of the in the hallway. This girl walks down the hall. Oh my god. I can't believe I've ever talked about this A long time ago. Yeah She walks down and she like goes get out of the way To me. I'm standing there with a drink. Okay, like a coke or something I go, I'm not getting out of the way. Are you out of your mind?

She goes, I'm a comic All right, I go. I'm I go. I'm a comedian as well I said, yeah, but you know, we're both comics. You just get out of the way Like she's walking through or whatever. Yeah So I go, you how many times you needed the whole whole How many times have you performed here? She's got like three times, you know And I go, okay, I want to show you the kind of power I have Makes me so happy I go stand back. She stood back

I took the glass. I threw it against the wall and shattered and then Brett middle comb Brenton middle comb Sweeped it in the back for a walk away and I go there's nothing they can do about it What are you gonna move me? Why are you gonna move me? Who is this girl? I know Sarkin. Of course not. She's terrified You did piss me off the other day though a little bit. I hope so What happened? You know, it's weird. I've been at the comedy store since 1993 There's a waitress and then a comic waitress for 12 years a comic for 11 years And two people I've had problems with

They're both named Bobby. Who's the second? Who's the second bobby? Lettington. Oh, yeah, I love him. I love him What happened with Bobby? Maybe it's your size. You guys are the same size. I know he was my boy for life I love bobby and don't talk bad about bobby right now. Okay. All right You didn't have to work under him. It doesn't matter. Bobby's my boy. That's the difference He's my boy for life and let's throw out of there. He'll do anything for it He's a good guy when you're not working with him. Yeah, that makes sense

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he would because he would do stupid shit to pit us against one another Right. Well, all of Paulie's guys were a little bit, you know But outside like when I'm not working and I see him as a comic or whatever. I'm like, oh, this guy's great It is unbelievable But he was such a dick when we worked together. It is unbelievable that You were waitress for that long That you one day started doing stand-up

And then you actually became really good at it Thank you. And you just did a special, right? Was it was I saw you on tv or something. Oh, I love that It was like a tv spot or something. No, it was the dice thing. That was four years ago. Oh, congratulations. Thank you I appreciate you keeping up with my How did you end up in San Diego first from south philly. No la straight to la right to hollywood. How did you gonna be a big star? Didn't work out And so when you wait you sing for that long at the comedy store

Do you just become so inundated with comedy that one day you decide, okay? I can actually do this No, absolutely not especially at the comedy store because you see the best of the best I mean you see some shit, but you see the best of the best So I never the comics that I like when I watch I never watched it went. Oh, I could do that No, right. I was wanted to be an actress. I was focused on that especially in the beginning And then I got close with mitzi and the acting was just going nowhere. And then I got engaged broke that off Uh got engaged again got rid of that one

Uh, I'm terrible with that and then I just got rid of my third one. So I'm not a closer that way Uh, but I was focused on the acting then I became a wrestler for a while just to get the anger out What? You were a wrestler? Yeah. Uh, wow women of wrestling Um, that was in 99 2000 something like that So I thought I thought it was gonna be it's weird how good glow is. Yeah. Yeah I thought that was exactly what happened to me Corey was working she quit the comedy store and she was working for this producer

So she's like you should come in for this audition and I'm like, I'm not gonna do it It's wrestling, you know, and then me and freddy and rogan were in the kitchen one night at the store goofing around and doing old wrestling like Hit and shit like I have a baseball bat in my car naturally and I came in and I just started hitting shit and yelling things And they were like do that do that in the audition and I was like, all right, and I did and I got the fuck Wow, and I was like, I thought I was gonna get arrested. Yeah Uh, yeah, and then I'm trying to tell my mom who only wants me to be this nice little girl But I'm the worst tomboy that I'm gonna be on this wrestling show and she's like, oh my god. I'm so excited for you

And I'm like really and I was on a cell phone So I was like, I'm gonna call you back when I get home. So I get home and I called her from like a landline your listeners can google that and So I called her from a landline and she was like, uh As soon as I called my sister Karen answers. She's like, yo, you're gonna be on West Wing Really? Yeah, I was so bad. I was like, oh my god. She told the whole family in the 15 minutes. It took me to get home Then you're gonna build West Wing? Yeah, I have to tell everyone that I'm not gonna be hanging out with Martin Sheen

I'm gonna have a woman with a mullet and a sleeper hold like it was awful Yeah, so it became like whatever, but I loved it because it whipped me into shape And in in that like I was always thin, but I was never like I stopped I was athletic as a kid and then stopped for a long time and was chain smoking So I did that at the forum in Englewood. It was great. Wow. Now I do commentary for them. I'm one of their announcers No, oh, that's amazing. I didn't know that Yeah, how do you say that? Wow. So we're filming uh in October at uh, oh, shit. What's the name of it? Downtown. I'm the worst. All right. It's fine. But google it guys. Google it guys. Yeah, it's a really cool place downtown

And they're I'm doing the commentary. So I'm excited. So I was working last week and uh, oh, it's just what pissed you off Yeah, yeah. Look how he's hanging onto a piece of shit. All right. He was waiting the whole time I've been waiting for this whole time. I didn't even listen to a word you said Not one word. Not one word. You're gonna be on west wing? When I leave he's like tell martin sheen I said hi Imagine if she was on west wing though, because that's your favorite show of all time. Oh my god, that would have been Oh, I would be dead. I jump off the high it Yeah, couldn't have got that part. Yeah

All right, so I'm I'm at work right and at work means the comedy store. No, I was on my television network job Thank you What a day television network and the lady that's doing my hair And I'm like, I just I don't know why I threw her this up. I go, what were you last week? She goes, oh, I took a week of my favorite festivals in las vegas. So me and my husband went And I go, what kind of she's like, uh, I guess, you know Sort of doom rock festival heavy metal Okay, right. I don't pay attention. Yeah. Yeah, and I go, uh, she's like, it's funny because

There was a couple of comedians that went up. It's a gigantic and she goes. Oh, I just it just hit me There was a big festival that we went over and did That's what you did. Okay, go ahead. Why I didn't no in my head. I forgot I did that And so when I complimented you, you didn't even know what the fuck I was talking about Go ahead. Do your thing Yeah So I'm like, oh, I go, whoa, who are the comedians and she goes, well, you know, I don't like dies I love dies, but it's like dies. He was okay a lot of women and I and I go, okay

But there was a girl before That went up and I go, uh-huh. She was very funny And in my head I dies and then when she he said there could only be one You know, and I'm like, it's my second ex-fiance. Yeah. Yeah, I know and I go is and I googled you Is it her? She could that's her Right, so then when I see her, you know, later a couple days later I'm doing a podcast and I go in and I go. Hey interrupts the podcast. I just walked in and I go

Hey, the hair lady, you know, she was at the Vegas and she said you you great and you go, uh-huh Like you didn't I go. Thanks, man. Yeah, I know you that was you go and pissed me off. First of all, you shit on it the whole time Thank you. What you shit on it the whole time then gave the compliment like no way it can't be It can't be that somebody saw Eleanor and she was good. Fuck her. I hate her It was that wasn't it. No, no, I was gonna say this though Okay, and then you say it and you're like, I gave you a compliment. I'm like, you didn't give me a compliment She did. Yeah, but I had that information. I know but that information you just reiterated it to me Don't come at me. I know I'm just saying

I know but can I just say this though? All right. Is it I didn't have to give you that information You could have kept it inside. Yeah, but I want to make you feel good. I want you to make you feel good For that. Yeah, and I go and I go. I'm gonna make this fucking bitch You feel good, right? Fucking feel the fucking white bitch And so I throw it out there and I just I didn't like the response but that's all But you know, we're good. Wait, didn't really hurt your feelings because I didn't mean to but we were on a podcast So, you know, I'm fucking yeah, I like yeah, I was kidding too. Okay. Good. But wait, can I tell you this?

Dice we were in Vegas working at the tropicana Oh The Lafactory tropicana and with harry basil. I love him the best the best dice's agents Work with only rock stars like they have billy jilt They have giant giant rock stars and there was a big rock festival and I can't think of the name of it Yeah, but their headliner couldn't get in the country because his passport. That's right some shit So they were like, what are we gonna do? We have no headliner for this festival

And the guys running it were dice's agents. So they were like, uh, you want us to put dice on? He's around the corner. We'll go get him And so they were like, okay So me and andrew after doing the show at the truck went over there at midnight and did that show Oh my god, how many people was it? It was it was at the hard rock in vinyl So it wasn't that big, you know the joints the bigger one right right right, but in vinyl and it was all standing and they were like So it was a rowdy crowd. I'm like, oh, this is gonna be awful. Was it? It was good, right? But took me a minute. Oh, I did because they were like, okay, where's dice? They were already chanting dice

That's the worst chanting dice and then a woman comes up. So they're like, oh, is this a sacrifice? Yeah, yeah, so I was like And I I don't know how but I I got them and then Andrew went out and he killed for 45 minutes So I was like, that was the hardest thing. I completely forgot we did that. Wow. So that's what that was. Yeah So that's probably where she was. That's where she saw you. That was the big festival. Oh, that was the festival. Oh, wow Wasn't that exciting? What's so done? Tell her I said, is it hard because you were I will um Is it hard that you know, because you were engaged to dice

So he was your second second ex fiance. Yeah, he hates when I say that's how I repeat it And now because you do a lot of shows with him. Yeah, but he's my best friend No, no because what happened was we broke up Uh, when freddy passed I just like I said, I checked out it was hard Uh, and then 20 days later my grandma passed and I was tight tight my grandma was my mom's mom, you know So it was a lot of shit. I was going through. So I just sabotaged the relationship He had nothing to do with that. I did it all myself He just didn't understand it, but it wasn't like we hated each other

We were just kind of like we almost like pounded it and tagged out like hey, buddy. Thanks But I was so close with his kids. He he got full custody of his kids and I helped him do that and court and everything and helped him Raise it raise them. So raise it. It's terrible. It's why I don't have children, but I helped him raise them And so we're all very very close Dice's kids max and dylan are not just great. They're on tour right now still rebel if you can really come out Go check them out. They are the most talented fucking musicians. Seriously. I'm I mean like I'm not kidding you dude They're like prodigies. Yeah, they look up still rebel. They're musics online. You can play like I mean, they're so good But especially that dylan's great

He's I'm telling you when he was 10 years old He asked for a guitar and Andrew bought a guitar But he was like, uh, I'm gonna start wasting money on you know, big instruments that he's never gonna play Yeah, he was so obsessed with it. He would fall asleep playing the guitar like in asleep He'd be playing it then one day I was driving him home from school. He goes. Oh, who is this? I go that's carlo santana He's like, okay. He turns it up a little bit. We go home I go, I'm sure your dad has his album. He puts it on. He plays it one more time. I'm making dinner He starts playing it. I go

Wow, yeah, there's something wrong with that kid. I called Andrew. I go come on. You got a weird kid Yeah, no, he I'm telling you they are that fucking gifted and he writes all the songs Wow, and dylan also max reminds me of his dad a little bit Oh, just totally it's a replica. It's the same person, right? But dylan reminds me of his mom in terms of the blonde blonde. She they look like her, but also his mom can sing Oh, really? That's where they get it that way. Wow. So he has that he has her voice. She has a really strong voice She's very talented herself. Wow. She just doesn't do it Yeah, but she's still in their life. She's still in their life. Okay. Good. Yeah, because I love that whole family

But that's the whole thing everybody's still tight. I mean those two when they broke up, obviously they had a little bit more Issues going on because they were together for 17 years. So we were together for five. It was like, oh, nothing. Oh, well, yeah He's a great guy though, huh? Who dice? Really? Here's the last thing I want to say though about him this is that I remember when you and I had that beef He still let me open for him at the yes. He just brought up a good one. Go ahead Oh, what happened? So dice goes, you know, hey, jing used to call me jing, you know, I mean it jing Thank god. I'm not the only And he goes, um, open for me. Oh, the ballet was a ballet is her. He did ballies. He did stardust. It was me

Joey Diaz when we were together. It was stardust. So I think that was when he was with his wife. Oh still Yeah, but you were there. I remember you're with the kids. Oh, then that was the one weekend. I babysat. Yeah. Yeah, you were there No, patty ross was opening that weekend. No, I did it with I know you were there because I remember trying to avoid you I feel like this is one of your It's not I swore got it. So I babysat one weekend and patty ross was the opener I know that because they let me go to the last show. Can I just listen to my story? Okay. It was me Jim norton jim norton Joey Diaz

I know that that was the lineup Right because I've talked to joey and jim about that. Okay. I believe you jim opened for him for years And I remember you being there. Am I wrong? Definitely because I wouldn't have been there The only time I was there not ballies. You like it on when I'm fail You like it when I don't know what what I'm doing. What's the other big one that he's belagio. That's where I play belagio So belagio, he did make that deal with mardi All right. Shit. I forgot his last name, but you know one carrot. No one gives a fuck. He died. Anyway, uh, but he gave him a lot of money

Yeah, and uh, they used to run the club in brooklyn that he started at so whatever that club he did do I don't I don't know if I ever went though Oh, okay. Well, then we'll just let it go as my imagination. It's really you really have a fucked up imagination but I wasn't happy. This is my favorite. This was my favorite one when dice and I were dating We used to do these uh, he was this is how he was getting through his divorce He was filming everybody at the comedy story. Do you remember that? All right, so he changed all the lighting Like no no permission from mitzi or anybody

So I would have a full tray of drinks that I'd have to serve and he'd be like no No, I need you in the scene put the drinks down I'm like I have customers and he's like no just do this real quick And I'd have to do a fucking scene and I'll bring out watered down drinks 10 minutes later Yeah, yeah, yeah So this what he would do to everybody and his favorite was to get bobby lee in there So he had was it ari beat you up. Yeah at the dryer. Well, yeah, you threw my yeah slap my forehead against the dryer By the way, this was part of this was for his kids bar mitzvah film

Yeah, yeah, so it's kind of that bobby's getting his ass kicked This is a bar mitzvah film and it's just like all the comics are like kill him And I'm home and he's like you want to watch the tapes that I filmed tonight And I'm like, yeah, sure and then you come on and I just nod off Not intentionally, maybe. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, but he goes He's like, what's your problem with bobby lee? And I'm like, I'm not getting involved. I'm not talking about it And he's like, you you're trying to prevent me from selling this show, aren't you? Because bobby lee would help me sell this show. I go then have him help you fucking sell the show

He was furious and nearly kicked me out that night over you And I was like, this is how fucking Oh, what? Turn on me for this little fucking yellow mother fucker One for the team Yeah, that's definitely on your side. Yeah, one for the team Whatever, that's why I broke up with him. What are we doing at? We're over 50 What does that mean? So what we do at the end is we do a um, I'm not taking my clothes off

We don't want to see your fucking wrinkly things. They're not wrinkly. Yeah, they are I don't have too You don't have enough skin to get wrinkled. That's just like my mom. Her tits. Yeah, but her tits stayed right here And they look like 16 year old tits because she didn't really happen. That's what my mom said to me when I was home She's like, these are like 16 year olds I'm very close. We're very close At the end of our show we do a um It's called on helpful advice. We have emails and then we either give them help or not. It doesn't matter

Okay, these are real people with real problems And I've we've helped people through a lot of is this you emailing so that I can give some advice No, no, no, I just want to make sure go ahead on helpful advice with barbie Kalilah at ellenore kerrigan aka Easy writer. Thank you. That's your wrestling name. That's right. He googled it. Wow Easy writer I was dating this girl who was very close in my friend group and had a kid We were very close and I quickly found love with her and also her kid

We were together for a year with many ups and downs but broke up. She started seeing the new guy very quickly And now eight months later. I found out she's pregnant. She's very close to my friends and family So I can't ignore her really but it hurts whenever I see her or hear about her new boyfriend So I don't know even if I want to see the kids in the future What should I do to move on and preserve my mental health? sincerely Andrew Say it again Why? I didn't understand any of it. Just give me the footnotes. Are you kidding?

Give me the footnotes. What's wrong with you? Give me the footnotes So basically he has a kid or uh, he dated this woman. Yeah fell in love with her kids. Uh, they broke up The worst thing but now the uh, she's still close with his family and he's close with her family But he hates being around. Okay. He's got to get out of that. You just got to you know, you just got to walk away It's it's it's it's easy. Those are all her problems Those kids. Yeah, okay. I have one This one's an interesting one. My father is shit cunt That's that's that was the subject of the email. Is this my brother charlie?

Dear dear bobby k gilbert and fuckface white boy. I think that's you That's mean My name is um Keep him anonymous. My name is well my name is adam from melbourne australia um I always thought my dad was a good person a bit strange maybe a hermit But ultimately a good person. However upon reflecting. I think I have it all completely wrong I am 32 now. I recently in april decided to stop talking to my father permanently or not time will tell

My brother has not spoken to my dad in over 15 years. My brother's decision I always thought that my brother was more sensitive than me and held grudges But I never judged him for not speaking to him I don't remember much of my childhood but remember vividly upon reflecting a lot of negative harmful and insane behavior carried out Anyways short things. He gave like a whole list of things from 12 to 17. He and he he basically Emotionally abused this kid. I'm just gonna keep it brief one example is um He told me that I had a bad back between five and 17 years old

He told me that I had a bad back and as a child I couldn't play sports or do anything physical Even though now I know I never had a bad back He blamed my back on my grandmother hitting me and hurting it severely But this never happened whenever he caught us doing any sports at school. He would yell and scream He also was really I guess emotionally bad to the mother and whatnot Anyways, his question is is not talking to him the thing to do mentally. He is sick, but I don't see that as an excuse What should I do? Should he continue a relationship with his father or not? He feels like he's not realizing that this man is toxic

Yeah, but also it's only affecting him. It's not affecting the dad Like I have a brother that doesn't talk to my dad. Yeah, and I'm like, you know, daddy has no idea. You don't talk to Gives no shit. Yeah, so it's only whole it's only affecting him. Oh my god. That's such a good An interesting point. Yeah, but and that's when my mom raised up because my parents split up They had 10 kids And he left my mom with 10 kids and I used to pretend to hate him on the phone like Ugh and she would be like, why are you doing that for me? Don't do that for me. That's your father You have to be respectful. That's it

Bottom line like I think you're right. I think that it seems like this man is probably mentally ill Yeah, and he even though he's done everything wrong in your life. He needs more help than you exactly And maybe cutting it off is gonna do you more damage Than to him. Yeah, that's not that's not proving your point. I don't think he'll get the point Yeah, it only affects the person that's holding it. Right. You're so right It's also my dad did a lot of abuse of stuff. All right beat us, you know beat my mom alcoholic, you know

I had a difficult childhood um And now he's an old man. He's had a bunch of strokes And I just look at her and go he's my dad and I he did the best he could I have no resentment toward all that bullshit You know as a if I if I had a time machine I would if I were even to see it I would probably see it in in my eyes, which is

He was doing the best he can. He had a disease or whatever, right? I'm not justifying my dad's violence But at the end of the day, I have a choice to make Cut him out or you know in his old age help him and I've chosen To help him and my mom and you know and you know, I help them, you know Retire and have a easy life, you know, um, none of the other resentment and anger is gonna help the situation You know, it's just gonna make it worse for you. Plus you're the change. So that's right. Yeah You know what you know what not to do what not to be also as long as you set certain boundaries For yourself and still remain in contact with this, you know with a dad then

That's okay. As long as you know as long as you're able to acknowledge exactly what he's doing to you and which he seems to be doing Just fine. He's able to enumerate All those things he's like, okay. This these are all things that he's done That aren't I mean, there are things if he did certain things that is unexcusable Like if you raped him, you know, I mean every day. Yeah, that's that's yeah That's one thing, you know, I mean, but um, but he seems like he was like he had munchausen Telling his kid that he was sick and with a bad back his whole life. Wow. Yeah, I'm feeling like paying for sports expensive

Are you just a really good smart? You don't want to do that You have scoliosis He gets a fake s3 of like curved spine. That's awfully curved It's really bad son. Yeah Well, anything, is that it? That's it. That's it. There's no other questions We have a lot, but I feel like a lot of them are just guys saying, how do I talk to this girl? Yeah, we have a lot of that. We have a lot of that. I get so angry about that

You know, there's I have one more of you guys want to listen to this one. Let's do one more. Let's do one more Yeah, in the past I've had troubles staying monogamous in relationships And I'm scared that I could one day fuck up my future family in relationship with someone I truly love by cheating I always go into a relationship thinking that I would never do something like that But alcohol, sex, addiction, hormones, emotions or whatever else it could have been has caused me to mess up in the past My mother had one to two affairs and I think it may have severely messed with my head and understanding of relationships Cheating does lead me to immense stress, shame, guilt, self-hatred, suicidal thoughts, blah, blah, blah Can you guys touch on how you stay monogamous?

Really clout of blah, blah, blah, blah Right after suicidal thoughts I'm trying to be brief Savage over here I take that back I take that back You're absolutely right Self-hatred, suicidal thoughts

I meant to say et cetera Which makes me wonder Okay, can you guys touch On how you stay monogamous Why you think people cheat and possibly share your experiences Is there any retribution for past cheaters? How many people do you have to sleep with before you're ready to settle down? Bee

Love bee Well, my parents were monogamous and they were old Korean people and they just never cheated And so I just, I don't know what it is, I just have never done it You've never cheated on anyone in your life I have done this, I have gone to a strip club and got in a lap dance And came through my jeans without my dick out I don't think that counts Yeah, that's what I'm saying, that's the most I've done

And even when I did that It was like I was on the board of relapse Like I was sober then And I was like, is that, you know what I mean? Like I had to talk to a thousand people So I just, I've never done it But at the same time, I don't know if I'd be devastated if somebody cheated on me Clout cheated on you

Really? You would not be devastated You wouldn't be devastated? I mean, it would be like, why'd you do that? Like, we have a monogamous thing I think the monogamy is just a decision to people make I don't think it's like how all relationships should be I know people who are in open marriages who've been together, you know, a long time I don't, anybody that's in an open marriage, oh, it never lasts

They don't? I don't know anyone that's last Aside from Will Smith and Jada Pinkett and I don't know how Do you think that they, are they open about their open? No, that bitch is crazy, she'll stab her There's no way Well, I lived with two men for years For what, four years?

Gay guys? No, like I was in a relationship with two men I was like, gay guys, they're gonna cheat Before I met her, before I met her, she was living with two guys And she was seeing both of them at the same time And they knew about each other? Yeah, they were roommates, all of them But they hated each other? They weren't particularly close, they kind of just tolerated each other

Not tolerated, they were friends They traveled together They never did one another No, no, no, outdo by getting you But it was exhausting for me and I will never do that again Because to carry the emotions of two people was I thought for a second, I was like, wow, I get this freedom And it's not freedom, in fact, it's a bigger ball of chain

It's worse, you have to keep up with the lie or whatever Oh, it's a bit worse, yeah There were two great people, but it was way more exhausting than I was ready for And no, I can't, I don't have the energy to even fucking brush my hair Are you seeing anybody now? No What are you doing? I like that

I'm single, I got rid of my third ex-fiance Who, was it a comic or no? No, this is going to sound real weird It was Dice's ex-wife's uncle Wow But they were together when we were dating Because Dice got divorced again a year ago But I was dating her uncle

Oh, wow It's real white trash But he was awesome, he's awesome, he's a great guy Was she young at the last time? Ronnie, I don't know if you ever remember, but a good looking, no, oh, her Yeah Yeah, she was gorgeous How old was she?

When I saw the photos, it was like 25 That's how old she was when they got married But they were together for eight years Let's see how good your math is 33 That's off, isn't it? I don't know I'm looking at you for help

No, but, yeah, so her uncle and I went out But we're still friendly He just, it just didn't work He was always jealous, always thought I was cheating Because he was a cheat his whole life And has trust issues I almost threw him off a boat We were on a cruise, I was working the kid rock cruise

I was like, I'm just going to kill him Like, and we're both We're both ghetto like that No problem burying someone So, that's right Bobby Got no problem You have no idea what I would do But I literally was thinking, oh, this is easy

Just tip him over There's no cleanup He's already high I'll just go down And I always tell him about it And he laughed because that's how angry I was That if I was talking to somebody He'd be like, why'd you hug that guy twice?

And I'm like, oh my god Like, you say hello to that person And I'm like, I can't do this Yeah, you can't do it You have a giant dick, but I'm going So what do you guys, what advice do you have to offer To the guy who wants to keep his dick in his pants? Monogamy's not real

I'm just kidding I mean, if you don't find the person you love Do you think that it's easy to stay faithful If you absolutely love somebody? I think so Do you think that it's inner human nature To stay with one person? Depends

That's a very broad Philosophical question My logical question I'm not really willing to answer right now But don't you think it's individualism? Like every person's different So my dad was a cheat But my brothers

I can't say all of them cheat I can't say all of them don't I hope my sister-in-law's aren't listening I don't have a single positive example Of A faithful man in my entire life Besides my dad But my dad was also married like three times

Before my mom He's needy But all the males In my family in my Filipino side Are all shitty husband cheaters Just shitty altogether Shitty fathers And for some reason having seen that

Really kept me on a straight line When it comes to relationships I feared I saw the outcome of all of that For me it struck fear in my heart Like I cannot have that I don't want any part of that So it could go either way It could either make you say

Genetically I'm predisposed to cheating It's just in my family Or you could be the exact opposite of it I look at comics and I see Someone like Al Madrigal I'm going to be very careful here Someone like Al Madrigal and Kristen Oh they're terrific together

They're terrific and monogamous I have children I've eaten there It's very nice and they have placemats They're human I've eaten there It's like a restaurant And then there are other comics that I know that they're married

And I've known these guys for 15 years Never met their wives Dice was very monogamous But I know a couple of guys That we all know That are Lucy Goosey And I don't You don't condone it

I don't condone it I say it And they're like Hey that's why we don't like hanging out with you Because they should like that You're judging I just think that it's If you lie

It's lying And you're living And they put you in that predicament too They're making you an accomplice now That's the worst And now you have the girlfriends crying to you And you're like oh shit I can't say anything

I just don't I don't condone it But it exists And I know a lot of guys that do it But I only know comics Or actors But I know a lot of them Like look at Vanderbeek

He's gotten his 50th kid In the last year James Vanderbeek He hasn't asked me I wouldn't have carried the full term I would have taken the shot I give Eleanor a round of applause She was great

She was great You guys were great I think the white guy was the best Any dates or anything You still trying to set me up Holdsman's texting me right now Because we're doing a show on November 4th Are you doing that?

He's like send me a headshot I'm trying to get Holdsman to do this But does he do How is he at the comedy store? Great Because I'm so afraid to use him Because he might I don't know

He's silly as all get out I love it We had him on the live one And he was doing this He does this stupid bit about a dog barking Really? And we were like dude it's live And see that there's no dog in the room

Yeah But he's just Nutty like that Brian Holdsman is the craziest He's so inventive and brilliant But he's so Hostile at times And you don't really know

Sometimes where it's gonna go But my dream is to have him On the show On a Monday night if he's not hanging out With his buddies Because he's like weird like that I gotta hang out with my guys I don't know

But yeah October 1st through the 3rd I'm headlining at the Laugh Factory At Tropicana And then the following week I'll be featuring for Dice at the same place Wait do you stay for 2 weeks? No

Did you get depressed doing it? No I bring my car Dice has a house there It's way from things Cause when I used to do those weeks 16 shows at Harrah's And you're like should I kill myself Right now

At the Riviera? 18 shows for a time And no one's there It's dark, it's gloomy That's when I used to Book all the comics for Sharipa Notice you didn't get booked So

I did work for him a couple times Yeah but he booked you on his own I know A round of applause for Eleanor Make sure you check her out though Wow Wrestling at the Belosco Theater On October 10th and 11th In LA

It's a live show, it's great, it's fun It's a nice theater, real guys will come We'd love to We'll be right back guys Everyone in the slept kingdom is special to us Every single one of you Sleepers and Nappers But there are real papayas

And these are people that donate To our Patreon And on this show We get to say their names Real names, human papayas So the real papayas is Chikako Kanazawa, heads up to you friend

I like the name Chikako Cause she was There's a bunch of names babe I know, but I'm just saying Chikako was the girls name on Tara's house Don't do a story for every fucking name She's gonna do it We have Greg Johnson, thank you for listening

I know Greg My friend Greg, I went to his wedding last year Mephys Ismael I know an Ismael from the Philippines He has six toes We have Wanje Aguirre Went to high school with him Or Aguirre

He was in ASB Aguirre Aguirre I'm glad you're so white We have Lazlo Tati Lazlo is a great name I'm naming my kid Lazlo We have Mateas, Shull, Rodriguez

Shull, German and Latino Very special We have Melvin Ra Flores Melvin Flores, God bless you Flores is Spanish for flowers My best friend's last name is Flores Alright babe We got Michael Keski

Pukila Killa That's a great name, hold on let me see We have one more name guys Sanjay Saraj S-U-R-A-J You guys Not only do you

Does your name get called in here This little list right here goes into my magic boxes Wow I have more than one I put it in there I do a little CSI ounce I like some candles Some things are going to happen for you

I believe it You have to believe it in yourselves guys But I love you Thank you so much for participating We've been doing this show for free for a very long time And We just need a little extra love every once in a while

And these guys are giving it to us Along with everybody else who has Everyone listening thank you so much But our pantorons have been also one of our favorite episodes Really fun Even though somebody didn't show up to the last couple But anyway that's fine George why don't you come on this side

I want you to take that seat So guys thank you for being those real papayas And thank you for everyone that just listens to this show I mean all of you are great We love you all Really quick though I didn't watch the The fights

I only know the Results like Carolina got knocked out I know that Tyron Woodley did a darsh choke I know that Alderman Sterling And the other guy did that weird submission Oh the hamstring Pull that one

Yeah it's like so rare but you guys did it in one night Yeah I know that's basically All I know I read up on it I would say rewatch that Tyron in a Tile Fight just so you can see I saw Darren Till hug Tyron's mom afterwards Very cute

Very painful I didn't watch that yet She's so tiny compared to Andrage Well Andrage Carolina is taller But Andrage is really She's like Claudia Gadelian that way

She's really muscular Like you Super muscly Gross Stop doing lat workouts How do you know I can tell I'm too huge There's like only two things that are big in my body

Lats and what? No not lats my traps And then my triceps They're like over They're overgrown Even if I don't do anything I just have big triceps It's really gross It's got big delts

Right there George Bryce immediately laughs He's like looking down Where are my delts Bryce George any announcements Anything for the kingdom to know In terms of Patreon, YouTube

What do we got? Thanks so much everybody who's listening to the Patreon We're having a lot of fun with those So if you want any bonus content on Monday Go to patreon.com Yeah we might be putting up Calala's workout on there It's a fun thing to do

You want to get those overgrown Traps I see your lats Well it's inescapable If you've ever just been a swimmer For an extended amount of time Have you seen the width of my shoulders Or my sister's shoulders

We have just the widest shoulders I could be skinny and still look Like a big girl because Of my shoulders Can't do anything about it But I did have a shout out Number one too Our dear friend Asa Akira

She hosted the last week I know she was a host So me Dumbfounded We went to Go see her You guys will not believe Who showed up

He actually art directed The whole award show It's Kanye I thought that was a joke when I saw that on the internet You sent me a picture and I was like What? She was there All the girls were dressed in Yeezy

It was actually kind of cool It was like a concert At the Belasco theater But more importantly Asa did So amazing I honestly felt so much pride in my heart She was so composed

She was funny She was stunning Second shout out I did the tinfoil podcast Last week with Sam Tripoli And Ryan Off the grid Ryan He goes by the handle

It's like how you're like just Kalayla That's true but you can find my last name If you want it too I'm like Madonna Ew but thank you I'll take it I did their podcast last week As you guys know I hate

Getting out of the house at all But this podcast I genuinely Had so much fun doing So check it out It's on YouTube and Everything else right? Yeah they're awesome Wherever you're here in this or watching this

You can find that I will subscribe and listen I only have one Regret about that podcast When they asked me about Crazy Rich Asians I was really like nah Kind of like dismissed it But I didn't have time to think

Retract it right now Yeah it's just like rich Asian people And there's a class difference And I was like what am I saying Because they'll help us make the movie About the other people What I meant to say was It's great that that's out there

But I can't relate because I'm not rich But it doesn't mean it's not a good movie Because it is Our guest next to me is Henry Golden He's very attractive He's in that new movie too With Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick

Do you see that picture of them three? This is why I don't trust My mom When she says things to me If she's like oh you're a handsome boy I don't trust you because you're my mom Because you send stuff like this What is that Gilbert?

It's a picture of Henry Golden And then she asks is that you sitting down No mom I'm not a male model That's half British Is this something only a mom would do I find you to be a very handsome guy But you do not look like Henry Golden

I will say How about this egg Did it flatter you for a brief Not for my mom Here are the two comparisons It's either Eddie Bravo No Eddie Bravo 100%

You guys are identical Separated at birth No you're Eddie Bravo I get this too from certain angles Wait hold on people say you look like Henry Golden Get the fuck out of here He says himself He looks in the mirror of himself

Are you fucking kidding me right now He looks in the mirror from certain angles He's like yeah Gilbert I think you I don't think I do I'm just saying the people spoke That's like me saying That I resemble Angelina Jolie

Yeah you do Gilbert I think That you're very handsome In your own way But there's no resemblance zero I don't think so either I'm just saying I'm just saying

A lot of people have said People send me photos And ask me Yeah we're taking a picture Of this right now First of all I don't get that Eddie Bravo one But funny thing before the podcast started George

Sounded like Jimmy Stewart And we're attracted to him Everybody says I sound like Jimmy Stewart You know that George came to We did a Patreon in the desert And Joshua Tree That was really nice Yeah I wish you would have been there

Did you guys talk about it And the second one Yeah the one that's coming out On Monday We did the recap of the Yeah but his A completely different version Of the Eleanor story

On the Patreon We recorded it and I was like Wow this is the most complete version ever He made it well listen to it But listening to her side of it I was like did he just Completely create this false You know story in his head

He did I think that's what he realized today Sure it built up slowly You know they say hindsight is 2020 No it's not His hindsight is like 23,000 He doesn't remember things

Accurately at all My goodness Well now you have to check out the Patreon To find out what is true and what is not If you want to hear lies If you want to hear a full lie Just 30 minutes In the desert I guess a desert does that

Do you like shadow play? Well check out the Patreon Bobby is all Shadow play man I don't even know anymore Did somebody just poop? Did Bryce just fart? Babe? The dog pooed

What's going on? It's not like a murder I'm excited for the knife I'm excited for the knife I'm excited for the knife I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm showing excitement for people Who are helping us keep this

Podcast running Gilbert George where can we follow you? You can follow me Hey you speak English? What happened? At Calamity K now let me spell that for you It's K Now let me spell that

What are you doing right now? You've never done this before Trying to channel my inner George Kimble Comradery Oh heavens Oh heavens Dollars to donuts Ew gross

What else does he say? Oh yeah when he does the reverse shaka Oh my god Just put a stake through my heart Rock and roll Love shaka All three Please spell out my handle

For you That's K-H-A-L-A-M-I-T-Y-K And it's the same For both Instagram and Twitter Son of an ice cream Anyways and also follow Bobby Lee at bobbyleelive.com And all his other stuff at Bobby Lee

And follow me at this page Henry Golding Have a good night everyone That's so fucking sad You make me sad I do not think I I don't I do not think I look it

A lot of people do send me this picture That's great Oh my god Hey Prime members You can listen to Tiger Barely Ad-Free on Amazon Music Download the Amazon Music app today Or you can listen to Ad-Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast

Before you go, tell us about yourself By completing a short survey At wondry.com slash survey