TigerBelly - Episode 16: Dreamweaver-Catcher-Reader

Episode Date: November 26, 2015

Bobo and Khaly might have been roofied. Khalyla fails at her thanksgiving speech. The team deliberates on feminine hygiene products, energy drinks, and how to seek vengeance (with blue fingernails.) Thank you for allowing us into your ears and into the dark recesses of your mind. We are in love with all of you.   Recorded November 21, 2015 Music by Bobby Lee Instagram: @tigerbelly Twitter: @thetigerbelly www.thetigerbelly.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly ad-free on Amazon music download the app today Hey We're live Hello, hello, hello, hello Bobby Lee Kalyla and this kid Gilbo Baggins. Hello. Hello. Um, I Just want to start off in the beginning. Kalyla and I were roofied last night Almost I almost guarantee we were roofied last night like actually roofied. Yeah, whoa, because like I don't even remember how I got home

Well, I I only had three hours of sleep yesterday So I thought that maybe that might have been why I fell asleep at the restaurant Because I mean I haven't fallen asleep in a restaurant since I was like eight years old and in the middle of Putting in our order and waiting for the food to come. I literally took a nap on your shoulder Yeah, I know and I don't do that ever in public, but I felt no shame this time I was like, no, I have to absolutely sleep right now and then the whole ride home I was like disoriented and I kept asking you like, hey, do you feel okay?

And you seemed fine, but I think you were just you had so much red bull pumping in your veins But it that's that's how you got us home I've never ever ever Have fallen asleep while playing fallout. Oh You know, I mean, that's like crazy and you fell asleep yesterday Yeah, I was like in the middle of like recovering this little Um electronic component for the brothers hood of steel. Okay. And while I grabbed it Supermute was like shooting at me and I was just like I just fell asleep

It's a good night. Yeah. Yeah. Good night, Super Mutant And I like to sleep. I don't know but it could have been this I hadn't eaten all day, dude and then late last night we had a gigantic meal and That also made me very sleepy I think that we got Rufi by MSG. Do you think it's MSG Rufi? Yeah, because MSG gives you that feeling of like being out of body at least for me like I don't I feel like Yeah, it might have been the food coma, but on top of that the MSG made me feel just like loopy like all sorts of confused

You know what I mean? Yeah Yeah, I don't know and then yesterday. Um, we had the mad TV reunion show. Do you have a non-disclosure? I don't sign nothing Fuckin shit, man. Are you sure? I'll see it anyway. I'll get sued. What am I gonna do? No, I they we did it, you know CW reunion show and it was like It just reminded me of what it was like, you know before you go into the explanation of that Can I just say that I felt I feel duped why? Well to the night before that you said sweetie, you have to come to this thing with me and I said no and

You said no because it's a mad TV reunion thing. There's gonna be a red carpet. Please. Please. Please walk walk it with me And I said no, I don't feel good. I have asthma listen allergies are kicking up I'd rather stay home in my pajamas and I and finally you were like come on like we'll take some pictures woman So I said, okay. Yes, so I got I woke up earlier. That's why I only had three hours of sleep I never do my hair like ever. I always leave it like a hat like bird nest mess It always looks just I mean look at it. Look at it right now. It's a fucking mess, but Yesterday, I did my hair. I actually put foundation on well. I put double eyeliner on I put lipstick on I

actually even evened out my eyebrows and And then I wasn't 2015. I swore to God I'd be back and slap across your face. Listen to me right now woman. I Was deceived to they called me and they said it's just a red carpet You're gonna walk down it someone's gonna ask you a couple questions and then you leave that's the fucking information I got woman and then I get there. I got duped. So we got duped together All right, so watch yourself and watch what you say Because there was no red carpet. There was later, right? You saw them come putting it pulling out

That's a element of it, but it's like I Don't I pretty I don't care cuz I didn't want to go. I know what you know what kind of say this It's that I was on that show for eight years. I wanted to be listen to me. Okay. Go ahead. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Sorry, sir. I was on that show for eight years. Okay It's like family. It really is it's everyone From top to bottom bottom on that show I worked with them for so long that it's like, I mean I hadn't seen them some of them for seven fucking years eight years, you know, yeah, and I wanted, you know When's the last time? I mean, I don't ever see Ike. I don't really rarely see Krista and Mike and any of those guys and it was like

It was nice and I got to introduce Kaleila to that some people and that part was but also it was It made me feel Like I missed it I Think that before Go before going into it. He was like, why am I doing this? Should I do this? But then when he got there, he just fell right into his element with and everybody else and I could see that you were having a Lot of fun with your friends. I could see that there was like a genuine love for just being There and with those seven I mean they use of the same people like everybody was there, right?

Yeah, I mean Well, Dick Blessucci used to be the executive producer and he left and a guy named John Crane Took over so John was there. Dick's no longer a part of that but dick to me still I mean, I love John. He's very talented, but dick Blessucci is still my boss like he he came from second city like SCTV He was a writer. Yeah. Yeah he is You know, he was friends with John Candy and all those guys. So Blessucci, but John's very gifted too But but but in general even like the cameraman and a lot of the people that were there

We're all There when I was when I was on the show and it's just fucking weird that it's on the CW Fox didn't want it. So You know, that's that and but it was nice and then I did two shows in Brea and And I have to say that I hate that fucking room. Have you done that room before? Yeah. Yeah Okay Yes, I've done it before and you're doing it tonight second show. Oh Smell so bad. I'm so sorry. I'm nervous. I'm waiting for it to hit. I mean, it didn't sound threatening. So I'm not very threatening

It didn't sound juicy one of hers. No, never. I've never farted in front of him. Yeah, you have by accident Yeah, that's what that's farting still. I know but not with the intention. Yeah, who does that? I mean women don't do that, but you I have seen heard you far one time when I was squatting down to feed the cats And he was around like it one just escaped me and she was so embarrassed by it. I said, oh, no Fuck but what can fuck about that? Yeah, it's cute. I've had a good track record so far two years and no farting That's pretty impressive. I do occasionally leave like a tampon in the in the toilet Yeah, and occasionally I do leave two or three tiger stripes after like, you know But then I tried even if after a courtesy flush sometimes like the stripes just stay like the train tracks do not move

It's weird. It's clear water, but the you I always assumed that the ball all of it was gonna be bloody Like you'd look and it's like fucking, you know mayhem like Beirut, not Beirut bad dad, okay, but what it's no it's clear water Then you see that the cotton part with a string. You just see one strip of red blood like in the water It's really nice. It's science. I smell it now. I'm sure it's nice It's pretty sure now when we first started dating. I think it was like three months into it I don't fart right. I don't fart in front of him ever, but I have made him Put because he doesn't know how tampons work and I wanted him to oh, yeah

So I made him. Oh, yeah put a tampon up for me to teach him how to do it I'm gonna do it and then I also made him remove one But that was like in the hated it What? Taking it out any of it. I hate any of that, but you you were you wanted to I want to learn Yeah, I want to grow and learn science. It's science. No digression Neil deGruh Do you know how to put a tampon in Gilbert? I think the women in my family, they don't believe in that. What do you mean? I think it's sexual

So what do they do pads? Like they're from like the 40s. We hold those a woman there. We're talking your sisters and stuff Well, they range from that all the way to great-grandmothers very matriarchal, but your sisters they do use tampons Jesus, I can't you know maxi pads maxi pads baby. Yeah, look at me right now Do your sisters use maxi pads or tampons? I believe maxi pads. They don't stick tampons inside that. It's disgusting It's a free-for-all bleed fast. Yes, and Papa doesn't like it And when your sister papa doesn't like that and also when like blood like it it gets oxygen You know yeah when it when it combines with oxygen and it also just sits there the whole day plus regular female discharge

Like let me just tell you because I used to use pads It just does not smell great. I mean, I mean and I'm sure every woman I mean, it's a choice right like women you can wear you can wear whatever the fuck you could put a cucumber up there I don't care what I'm saying is that just from a smell perspective The reason that I I was so adamant about switching to tampons even though my mom was against it too It's very Filipino her to be like no actually don't even sell that many brands of tampons in the Philippines because women think that no It's a you're you're gonna loosen up your vagina and like things of that nature Which is actually really false because the more things you put up there that the tighter that your muscle actually wants to be

It's the same reason why? Like frequent sex actually tightens or strengthens your muscle in your butthole like that. Yeah, cuz there's frequent things in my butthole Yeah, that's why they have those I'm not but does your butthole do that what they have the muscle there Yeah, of course they have everywhere anywhere my tight and nothing's ever been in there. How dare you I've Definitely put a finger up there. I know but it was the first time. It's not like it's not it has no practice It's like amateur butthole It's like it literally is the tightest thing imaginable. Yeah, but the thing about my poop looks like angel or pasta Whoa, yeah, yeah, it's like very thin. You know, I mean a small bowel obstruction, sweetie

Or whatever angel hair pasta shit like you need to go to the emergency room I'm just telling I'm just trying to make a point is is that I don't get it No, let me ask you about your sisters. What are their names? What's your name? I can't give you a real name You know what this is but this is fucking crazy He's not playing our name game, baby. No, it's really listen to me. Yeah, I I look at you like you're loud my brother And you're a part of my family. Okay, and if we're at a situation right now, you can't fucking tell me real shit No, I don't know what I'm gonna do people that are listening or not my family I understand that but I don't even know who you're talking about

Good point Gilbert Gilbert one Bobby zero do not give your sister's name. All right. I dare you not to give you her name Okay, okay, sweetie. She's a younger girl. Well, does she just tell me the age like 24 Do you know what from a brother's do not give her name your older brother You know what I'm gonna do Kuya would never do that. You know what I'm gonna do. I will find her name Don't do that. I am I'm so I you know, I feel so defensive I feel so gross right now because of the fact that I just feel like when I have people around me They don't share information because I share everything. I live I work I everything's on my sleeve, man, but that's not for him to share. That's her business. He can share everything about my business

All you shouldn't be saying stuff about your brother either You know, all of his family. I know but he's garden. Come on Anyways, okay, you're gonna tell me by the end of the show. I'll tell you don't worry you will not when this is on His sister's badass though. She knows she's like a what does she do? Karate girl child. Okay, what did you do? She went the medical route. I did not so she's a doctor She is in PA school physicians assistant. Hmm. Would you like to donate money to her trip to Peru and sponsor her? No, I don't I don't donate money when I don't know their names. Oh, they're just a stranger then. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, no Hey, whatever question mark you want money? No, that's not how I rock. Okay, anyway

So that's how the vagina works the more stuff you put in there The more stuff you put in there the tighter I get I don't agree and I there's no way in my mind that I can this is Well, this is my experience with maxi pads when I when I go into a public a women's public bathroom I always know even if I'm in a different style I always know if there's a woman with a heavy period and a maxi pad like that the particular smell is Undeniable and it's very very specific and I'm not saying this to put any woman down I'm just saying like that is my experience with it. And that's why like even tampons are a fucking like bothersome times Like I don't want to I don't want to have to fucking stick shit up there four times a day

But I do because I'd rather not deal with a mess that it is maxi pad and you get clots too, right? So we get We don't just bleed like in a in a very uniform way. We get like giant clots So imagine sitting on a giant clot in a pad. Do you know what I mean? I don't know what you mean God being a girl is a lot tougher than you guys think man, but we know I get it. I get it just manage No, I get it There's the every month you have to do that thing with the cramps all around the day Yeah, but we go crazy and it's one of those things where it's like we can't even control like that. It's hormonal hormonal Hormonal you got it babe. You got it. Yeah, and it's like I don't get it guys don't get it and then you have to give birth

I don't get that. It's all that stuff is crazy. Um, wait, you don't get birth You don't give birth men don't give birth. Oh, at least he didn't get it. I get I get it. I don't give it Yeah, he don't are we having a baby? Never. Yeah, I think that when I was like I quit yesterday It was like we'll have a one on the way and I'm like I want one and Um, but do you really want one? Do you want I really need one because you know what that means Bobby? What does it mean? Fallout 4 has to be probably cut in half. No, that means that doesn't mean that that means that only means it to you It doesn't mean to me, but that's a thing like my question is always like How much of a participant you're gonna be listen, I'm going to say this

I have the cradle next to my fallout, right the cradle's there, right and it goes it cries No, I won't I won't do that. I'll I'll get out right now. No headphones I'm playing the in if you look at a controller an Xbox controller, right? These these two itty-bitty buttons on the of the front part of the thing. Yeah, the right one. It's So baby go Pause put it down. I gurgle it. I mean, what's gurgle? I don't know what it or whatever they do with the back Yeah, but a gurgle. That's what I call it gurgling. I give it right and then what I do is I give it a human titty milk Okay from your tits, right?

Mm-hmm, and then then I'll just do a little like I'll sway with it while I'm cradling it You sway a little I'll sway back and forth like oh, no, no, don't do that Don't cry right and then I'll put it back in the cradle, right and I'm pause the game I play until the next disaster Okay, so just just we're talking just Logistics here and of how our living room is set up. So you're saying you're gonna be playing Fallout 4 You're gonna have the the crib next to you or the cradle next to you. Mm-hmm. What's next to the cradle is? Kitty litter, okay, so here's I'll do Yeah, listen ding dong our baby's gonna become schizophrenic in that talk. So plus your woman take check it out, okay?

So this room right here with the podcast room. I'll bring the flat screen in here Oh God, so you have a man cave with a baby with a baby here. Why the cats aren't allowed in here. Okay, and that's it There are solutions to every problem. There's no need to panic Do you think that you would love your cats less if you had a baby? I'd have to get rid of them couple to over my thing. Oh, you kidding. No, I love all everyone. I love all my family And so my point is is that well, here's another question to you is is that I don't know I've seen a lot of Ricky Lake I've seen a lot of TV and stuff and all kinds of stuff

I've read things articles and there's a lot of fathers aren't even around right a lot of fathers that don't provide Other kids. Did you just say Ricky Lake? I don't know whatever a great show might as well say Jenny Jones Jenny Jones, that's a better one. That's more relevant. So Jenny Jones You I've seen Jenny Jones and the thing is is that and you realize that a lot of fathers Abandoned their children a lot of fathers, you know, I mean our alcoholics a lot of fathers a lot of times. They're not the father Mori reference. Yeah, even more Mori. Yeah, and my point is is that I number one, right? We'll provide We'll provide financially number two. I will be there next to them literally 24 seven and number three I'll gurgle it. So my point is is that I will do all the shit, you know, but why can't I play a little fallout?

You can I can and I will I will and it's not a problem You know what I mean? So what's your timeline like when do you timeline? When do you guys having a child when when are we going to you know attempt this? Endeavor because I'm gonna tell you this right now and I want to tell you this and anyone that's listening. Okay life There are there are things called lottery moments If you take risks in life, you'll one day you'll wake up. You'll get a call something will happen You know, I mean, so we're right now We can say oh, it's gonna happen

2017 of the August 5th, you know, or whatever, right? But along that time things shift and change for the better for the worse But we I don't live that way. I don't live like this is gonna happen. No, this is gonna happen. No, I'm a Human dream catcher. I thought you said you were a weaver Yeah, that's right, I do gurgle gurgle You know, but in the meantime, can you just not you're gonna keep pulling out because you know, I don't you don't trust me And you don't believe in me. You don't believe in my heart, you know, and that's understandable and I accept that No, it's not because of that. Let's just wait for my heart condition to settle exactly what I was gonna say

Wow, it's exactly what I was gonna say, but I don't know how to say it dream reader. I'm a dream reader, too Yeah, so, um Thanksgiving is coming up. Are we going to see your parents? I have to Am I coming? Yes, of course. They love you So you me and Steve. Yes We'll make the drive over there and I think Dave's gonna be in Scottsdale, too, right? Thank you, I slit your name in one more time That was in the lines What does your family do for Thanksgiving Gilbert aside from just bleed all over the place?

Damn it. I shouldn't have said that sister's gonna punch me. What's her name? Choson. Oh my god. Why would I say that? Is it Choson? No, Choson. He has a restaurant or Choson. Wee. Yeah, I know Oh, yeah, Choson. Wee. Hey, I didn't mean to change choice too soon. I apologize. I apologize. Choson. Wee. I Hate him. Anyway, go ahead. What does your family do? Yeah, I need to go to Chicago. I go back or this year I'm going back to Atlanta. I cook and then we eat. That's it. Nothing crazy. What's it like in your house? My house. Yeah, we're pretty I would say we're very Asian So we still have that a whole traditional respecting but my family is a little more aloof a little more crazy like Mexicans They're loud. They're very loud

Yeah, nothing crazy. Yeah, pretty simple. We don't like to talk to other families. We like to keep to ourselves Mm-hmm. You don't like to share food or money or stuff like that So you guys are just a little private little very secret. Yeah, you know, my dad will do a little bit of stand-up people come over Do they he does? He did stand up in the 90s Only only two shows that just even Jeff Justice comedy club. I don't know if you've been there No, but does he have an accent? Yeah, that's why people laugh. He thinks he's funny But it's the accent like his first job. You see you're you're performing Snuts scale, but desire probably comes from him then probably yeah, what do you call it itch or whatever, you know

Yeah, I mean, they don't want me to do this though. They want to be there. You know law school She's a lawyer and your mom does Successful couples Filipinos houses smell a little funny like what not as bad as not not the as bad as Koreans Oh, even your water. This is like my best friend's home, right? I would go over to her house and because they had stored so much kimchi in their fridge And you know the filter in her water the automatic ones that you put the glass underneath her water and her ice cubes tasted like kimchi I couldn't everything tasted like fucking kimchi because it's fermented cabbage, right?

So it's like that thing just sticks to everything else in the fridge in the freezer It's funny when you when you're raised with that smell you don't smell it But then I remember one time going to summer camp. Yeah, I went to camp for like a month and I came home And it was like an Okinawa fish market like it was like It smelled so gross Why is that you get used to it and then our house smells like shit you say that all the time I guess I'm used to it, but I can't smell it. I smell it every time I walk into our doors It smells like Bobby's remains like it smells like food. That's just whoa

Like he's just a slob, you know He eats sunflower seeds in bed and he just like he doesn't even have a place for the seeds He just it's everywhere and you know those might my pet peeve is like when someone eats like ice pops And they leave the sticky plastic everywhere and you step on it and it's on the floor now. You get sticky floor. It's a fun game Yeah, like it that's that's what my nightmares are made of and I am living one living with you And it smells like fucking cat shit. It's just our home How was that me? I Used to think okay, this was when we start first start living together

I used to think oh, I really have to like Follow you and follow your every move basically because or else this home is gonna be a pigsty, right? And I thought that I could do it alone So I would clean at least like every two days and that's not enough with you. It's like after 45 minutes of me cleaning. It's again a pigsty You just have you know, that's just you you you don't know how you don't know what a trash can is or something You think though the world is your trash can

You even throw shit out the window in the freeway. I don't know how you haven't gone a ticket What sunflower seeds she fucking gives me shit about throwing sunflower seeds out in the freeway It's like that's a fucking seed. I'm like I'm like an aunt I'm not an aunt whatever a bee that like pollinates. I'm pollinating the earth Um, I'm pretty sure cigarette butts don't pollinate the earth. They do though. They make it into our oceans. They go into There are only a few things I ask you and I would make me so happy if you just abided by one thing My biggest thing with you is a cigarette butts. I Just I I don't like that you throw it on like the right where the sewer drains

Yeah, Rogan gave me shit. What about that ones? Oh, really? Yeah. Hey, how do you respond? Fuck you Joe Rogan. No, I picked it up What a depressing day, huh? Depressing no arsenal lost. Oh, yes But you know what I would rather have it this way to where Lester city is at the top of the table They're number one and Lester city only came into the Premier League. What last season, right? Yeah. Yeah I'm gonna just say this Baca steam Have you had this before it's like if you're Filipino. It's the same as lipovitan. No, it's not

Exactly the same as that's what people say. That's what people say and I've read articles Let me see something about Bacchus D though There's some extra thing they put in there because it is the best energy drink. I've ever fucking had math It's got yeah mixture of jet fuel Like I always feel like my heart's gonna stop when I drink one of these well stop that no he drinks like five of those in the morning I'm five. I know it's great. Does it taste good? It tastes to me exactly like lipovitan. It doesn't it's sweeter And it's more delicious. Fuck is Bacchus F. Oh, is there a Bacchus F for real Korean thing? I Gotta get Bacchus. We don't know what it does. He's gonna drink. Yeah. Yeah

Does it go all the way down to Z? No, it's just DNF. That's it. Oh, I've never heard of F Yeah, neither have I what is F2 Same thing but stronger. Is it really? Yeah, it's it's stronger. Oh Oh, it's weaker nevermind. It's weaker. That's weaker. Fuck that bucks D all day Bacchus D means Bacchus death You drink energy just copy and he drinks it just blocked to like a fancy That's cool. I like that but I drank that dream water stuff. You gave me the work. Oh my god I had great dreams to it work, right? Wow. Yeah, it's better than melatonin. Just straight up Yeah, we'll see melatonin is that's it gets you all groggy when you wake up because you have to shed it off

It's the same reason why sleeping too long Never makes you feel rested is because you have an accumulation of too much melatonin So when you by the time you wake up you have it takes you double the time to like shut off that amount of melatonin build up I'm gonna try to get sponsors. I would either do spot. I want dream water. If anyone working for dream water, okay? Please I like that shit. I will promote it to the end of time Please sponsor us and just keep I don't need money. Just give me free dream water. Okay, and Bacchus D Give me free Bacchus D. You want to see my foot sweat? What are your sponsors really quick? What would you like Bacchus D dream water? What do you want?

7d mangoes and also hopia, but those are all Filipino stuff. That's what I want an excess of Can you look at my feet? Why are you doing that right now? What do you mean? That's just me hyper hydrosis Look at the sweat. I'm look. Yeah, you show me this many times. Oh, it's crazy. It really is crazy All right, so tonight we haven't finished Thanksgiving stories. Oh, sorry. I'm I bad. I want you to tell us your favorite Thanksgiving story Bobo. Oh shit Well, I don't really I don't Thanksgiving is one of those things where we never really celebrated in my house It's like you showed up at home is like Uh Dina and then you go in there and it's like, you know, they have see no They have like, you know kimchi jjigae and then like some rice and it's amazing kimchi jjigae so good

No, I want the I like that fancy bread what they call that stuffing cornbread. Oh, no stuffing. Yeah, I call it's fancy bread Yeah Yeah, I like the turkey. I love all that shit man. What's that fancy bird called? turkey turkey, I love it But we never had in fact, I never really celebrate any real holiday as a kid. We did a couple of trees or whatever trees We're skipping Thanksgiving Yeah, but it's always it's always been kind of growing up with there's just a tad bit of violence and and in paranoia and

And you had to survive in the house, you know, so um, did you ever did you ever see your parents like wrap gifts for you? Or were they ever somebody as a kid? They tried as a kid. They tried but then I just you know When you're 12 and you're doing math, you don't really care about stuff like that Yeah, you know, you're like, uh Nah, because they already knew that was to take the kids and that's why they're hawk them So when you started getting into math and all of those things, what was steve doing? Did he look at you like bob? Are you okay? I know, but did he look at you like like a disappointed little brother? Not only that steve's fucking room

was like The movie seven it's like an ocd. No because he was a devout christian So we take bibles the bible like, you know made pages And then cut them out and paste it all over the room And there's like a red cross in the middle of the room and he's like nine Like they got him young and like at school or whatever his friends or whatever and it's like so going into his room was like Like it was creepy like nobody walked into that room. That's like there's you know what though

There's a very very fine line between Hyper someone who's being hyper religious and then straight out lunacy because even if you see it like my short stint as A student nurse in like a lockdown facility the people who go into Who are either like really really, you know who have schizophrenia or they always always Always have a bible in hand and they are always just continually like reciting verses from the bible and in a very very like hyper vigilant way So if you like even so much as like argue with them or ask them or question them or challenge them they get

crazy Like hyper religiosity. I almost feel is like a hallmark sign of like bad shit crazy. Yeah, like there's something there's a there's a connection between someone who's so like Insane about like and and so just like Insane about the religion and the fact that they're probably like tethering on the verge of like psychosis. Wow Like that's that seems to go hand in hand every everywhere you everywhere you go Yeah, so I think your brother was showing signs of like early depression or some type of mental illness

He would be like Like I'd wake up and I'm you know, I'm a drug addict and you got Bobby. I want you know, Jesus loves you And then you're like, all right, you know, and then you come home every day, Bobby Jesus loves you Okay, Steve. Shut the fuck up. You know, did you never love God at that age? No, at that age. I loved God You know what what type of Christian but God loved me That's true, baby. That's true No, I when I got sober is when I found God

But my point is is that but this is what happened with Steve. So Steve was extremely religious But then like when he went to high school He met like, I don't know why but in my class, there was just no black people So I didn't have any black friends. Yeah, but for some reason in his class there were like a bunch of guys that were people of color like not just black but Filipino a bunch of people and he was friends with those guys and he Started listening to hip-hop and then what happened was his senior year year in high school

He was supposed to win state as a wrestler he was ranked Probably the top two in california. He was fucking amazing my brother at wrestling And he went to the state finals and I was there and he let fear Like he was he could tell as soon as he got on the mat It's basically what's gonna happen to you tonight

at the at the comedy club he you can tell oh my god, he's gonna lose Because he was pale. He couldn't really walk. He was petrified And as soon as that tournament is over like he Coach brand said or you know the coach Screamed at him, you know, I mean, what the fuck, you know, I mean, what's wrong with you this and that And literally the next day you saw the shift From being like this kind of weird christian you know, I mean guy and then

It just turned into like fucking crazy shit Just night and day and it was all related to I think I really think that drug addiction and alcoholism Is you're born with it and it's an inevitable thing That you're gonna become that it just depends on what's gonna trigger it Or at what age that's gonna happen and you could see with steve. It was literally state That was his um, that was the button that had to be pushed. Yeah

and you know to see some a kid with that much promise and He really was a good kid to turn it into you know, like like bob Like this is him in college the phone calls I'd get bob. Yes, steve I'm on ass I go what? I'm gonna kill tony And you're like, don't kill tony. Who's tony? You know, I mean, you like calls like that at four in the morning. Bob. Yeah, I'm arrested. What happened?

In american indian I try to make love to her and her brother put me in a kimura or something like that that actually happened Oh, god Like he knocked on this american indian woman's house To have sex with her and her brother came out and put him in some sort of like body twist lock And then you know me and my brother yelled that doesn't concern you to the brother He called the cops and he went to court. He went to go to jail Damn, but like my brother turned into that guy, you know, and then I got sober. So it was like

You know, you you just heard these stories and then I just told my mom I go I was living in a land. I just sent steve here And because I because I at least my parents can't watch her Okay, so steve went to school and was living with your parents in arizona. Yeah, I see He was going. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, and then um, I think that arizona will make you crazy Yeah, because there's not much to do there I mean when we why I like being around you guys and just like basically doing nothing when we were probably Gonna do at most like go to the gym when we're there with his parents

It's so cute. His dad his dad is wheelchair bound, right? He can walk a little bit now, but the man goes to the gym Every fucking day. He goes to the gym. He gets dropped off there and he gets on his exercise bike I mean, this is a man who wants to get better And it's it's crazy to me how a man who's had eight strokes Who can barely speak out of his mouth? He has a fucking g-tube. He gets fed through his stomach Goes to the gym every day and this guy hasn't gone to the gym in a fucking year

No excuses, baby. You got to start And we're gonna start when we when we're in arizona with your family. We're gonna have like gym days We're gonna go with your dad. I'm gonna go swim with your mom and we're gonna make it a family affair of fitness deal Yeah, I just got really sad Why just thinking about my parents and thinking about like when that Paris stuff happened and stuff is just like Just makes me really sad You know that the that guy who you know on facebook you because his wife was murdered killed in Paris. Yeah

He basically told iam says you will not have my hatred and that really made me sad too What do you mean explain? I don't I don't know the story Basically wrote a little message to isa saying that you're not gonna do what you know I'm just paraphrasing that you're not gonna do what you think you were gonna do You know, I mean that you're not gonna have my hate You know, I mean my life will go on, you know, and it just made me really sad that I fucking hate isa so much I mean, it's I I hate them

So much and they have my hate and it's like they did exactly what They wanted to do is to have me think about them and have me hate them. Okay. I have I have I have a question for you so if I'll bug daddy. I'll bug daddy is the head of Isis, right? Yeah, we're in front of you And then you had Shirley Phelps right next to him Who would you kill first? And who would you spare? By far, um I'll bug daddy. I'll bug daddy Because um, Shirley Phelps from the Westboro Baptist Church

although she is a Poisonous insect, you know, I mean just a letrus cunt She hasn't killed anybody You know, she hasn't taken other people's lives family members from other people so it's like They're not even the same ballpark really. Okay. If in a sinking ship. Okay in a sinking ship. Who would you save? You have I'll bug daddy Shirley Phelps and dad fan. Jesus

I love that. So I would save dad Okay I don't even know what you're talking about. He's like my favorite. I have all those albums. I love them He's my favorite. So dad. So, you know that guy. Oh, I mean, I don't know who this guy is, but It's just it's it's uh, it's I don't know. I mean, I don't want to talk about every episode and I want to even really talk about it But it's just it's just it just makes me if I think about it. I just get just anger and rage because If you look at the photos of the victims like in Paris, which I've done

And you you look they literally look they're young people And they look like people that we know, you know, like people like oh that kind of looks like uh Delia or that kind of looks like my friend Brian or whatever. There was a girl in there who was a student from Cal State Long Beach Yeah, I went to school. Yeah So these are people that it could have been me. It could have been you it could have been you and it's like The rage that I would have in my heart if my brother was there and just watching a show and he got gunned down It's not only rage. It's like, don't please don't do that You know, don't do it

Yeah, you know, don't do it. Well, how can you do that? How do you like go just kill somebody Innocent person like I get I get this I get You know, I mean if you like a You know, like I'm in a I'm the mafia and it don't it don't kill my brother. So I'm gonna kill his brother You know, I whatever that the revenge is one thing Yeah, but just to go to a place where there's just innocent people and just gunning them down is to me

It's I can't even I don't accept it. That's what they were talking about They call them like soft targets because these are people who were just not even a part of any type of like agenda They weren't people who like were opposing anything. They were just soft targets. These are people who Were just living their life on a Friday night, you know, so that's what makes it all the more appalling Like if your sister like look at me. What's her name again? Oh, it was good. I almost did it. I almost did it. My point is is that But if your sister was gunned down in a situation like that, right? Not no without how would that alter your life? How would you react in a dramatic way? Yeah, revenge first

Absolutely, would you go rogue travel to syria and then just like go on a man hunt yourself or albic die? I honestly would probably take a break from whatever my career is and just focusing on stopping that group But but staying in america. Yeah, I mean you wouldn't do it. You wouldn't do it through violence You would do it through like protests protests. Yeah. Yeah, yeah See but bobby and I we would do it differently like let's suppose like steve or my sister coinda got hurt Him and I would go rogue. We disappear. We would live we would join the the dark web We would we would be part of some rogue like like vigilante like us operation That like would go on a man hunt

Um, and we would buy like halashnikov's and like all these like fancy Like we would get like an oozy and we would just fucking go. We would do it by ourselves Oh, you I wouldn't even look like me anymore I would be like a rebel fighter. She had my head bald, right? I would shave my eyebrows. Oh shave my eyebrows, right? And I'll put like tattoos weird tattoos on my face, you know, I mean Like, you know, just like I don't know. I don't know yet, you know, but I wouldn't I wouldn't look like me And I would probably paint my nails in a weird color and I'd wear like black robes

I think are you doing this for fashion? No, no No, I think you I think you would just have more fun dressing up than actually like Going out and hurting people. No, you'd probably look at yourself in the mirror. The look has a lot to do with it The look doesn't matter. It does because we're supposed to be inconspicuous and undetectable. You doing that fancy shit with painting your nails Is they're gonna be like who the fuck is that guy that monk with blue nails? TMZ would be like bobby lee doing halloween early bobby lee is walking around la doing halloween early Yeah, baby, you you you guys got me. I made a mistake. We got it. We got it. I won't do it that way

We got to be subtle We got to be subtle. You're right. That was the wrong plan. You know what you throw it out there. You throw it out there See if it's this it doesn't it doesn't work out your way. You know what I mean? My bad. You're right I'm not gonna do that. If you know, that's why we'll have a meeting before we do it, baby I'll go. Hey, just shave my eyebrows and shave my head and do all this thing. You'll be like no, and I'll be oh, yeah Okay, you're gonna look like an asian powder. Yeah, I love powder I know I'm just saying so then that's why I have you know, I have we have those pre meetings If you know me but I feel like I feel like that meeting would

You would just be talking about like fashion choices No clothing choices. No, and I'd be there like ordering like like, you know weapons and ammunition And I'd be like planning all our fake passports and shit like that Hey by saying this do you think that we're being put on a list? Probably If I said fake passports and you know, but we're we're in we're against isis and if you're listening the nsa We're against it. Okay. We're just saying we might go rogue. Yeah, that's another scary thing The nsa fucking thing because you always think that they're like they have all your shit bugged and stuff Listen, they they have our cell phones. They have our they our emails. They have

Everything our passwords for our facebook all that stuff. They're watching us We let them into our lives and there's nothing you can do about it. It's the fault of you know, I mean those terrorists But what do you have a question? Yeah, I do have a question unhelpful advice with bobby and colloco this question is from gilbert g with the huge penis Uh, the question is what are the top three things you're favorite for this year most thankful for What are the Did you fucking just make that up just now? No, I had you didn't do the fucking voice first of all. That's my commitment Unhelpful advice with

Bobby Lee who just did an MTV reunion and colloco Did you say MTV? He just did it's a fine. Everyone's trying to get MTV to book you for stuff. Oh Subliminal messaging. What are you grateful for babe top three things most things. I think you should start I'm grateful for um, and I'm not saying this because you're here, baby, but you you're my number one I the reason why and I'm being real is because of the fact that like I um I'm such a I have so many character defects. I'm such a complex person and it's like

I I know what my character defects are and I know how difficult it is to be around me and for you to accept me And to stay in this relationship And just to be here and try Is I'm really lucky for that, you know, and I'm I'm blessed for that. I'm also thankful for Uh, my parents still being alive and number three

I'm thankful for my decision to stay in this business Because um, I've wanted to quit over the years and um, this year has been a really good year on just everything like not only just this podcast, but Just in general, it's just I have a very optimistic View of like my career and where it's going and my life in general the trajectory. So I'm really excited about my life I'm excited about that you're in my life, sweetie, and um You know, let's just move forward But um, this has been a fantastic year and I really like doing this podcast and I love

And you know what? I like you a lot Gilbert even though you don't reveal things and even though that's a sign that we're not going to get close That's fine. I will open up. What's your name? I can't do it on here What's your name people are very mean online and they will attack her online Why she's very pretty and she does karate. She's the true karate. Oh, you're right. You want to protect her? That's fine You're some weird. You're right. You're right. You're right. There's some weirdos. Go ahead, baby. What do I think that Gilbert should go next? What are you thankful for Gilbo? Uh, my parents for finally supporting me in this endeavor. I am on Uh

Uh Yeah That's really that's I feel that's the most important thing because that was the thing for a long time I was like they just weren't supporting it. So it was tough. But yeah, I'm thankful for that Is that something that's just come about recently? Uh, probably the past like two years Okay, so that's something that you didn't think was going to ever happen and it did absolutely not. Well, that's cool Is that my turn? Yeah, baby God, this is it. This is you guys. This is why I suck at at these things is because I didn't grow up with Thanksgiving

So I I haven't had time to like, you know when people talk about it over dinner and they're like, oh, I'm thankful for this And then I always get stumped and I always have all my answers like after the fact Just remember Bobby say you want to save it You save it for the next podcast and just say say it then after you think about it Why are you rushing me because you want to play follow up? No, I I just feel like you know, I don't want to rush you on this decision because I really meant what I did Yeah, well, I was grateful for it's not just for show. I did it for real And if you if you if you have a list and you don't really know exactly how to say it or you don't know exactly what it is yet

Then you might as well save it. I think no, I'm not going to save it. I think that the one thing that I It's been a really really really strange year for me. I haven't been able to do much I'm I'm somebody who used to be if I had something to be thankful for it was always that I could just up and leave and travel and meet people and do things and I was always You know, I was healthy and in this last year. I've had to Alter my life significantly. I can't there's Basically because of my heart condition, right? So I guess in in the root of it all I'm just thankful that I'm not dead I'm thankful that I have medical insurance. I'm thankful that I have a roof over my head

And that you haven't left me and that you still in your mind think of me as a sexual being despite the fact that my heart could you know tick off and and You know never beat again, and I'm I'm thankful for the fact that you still like, you know Fuck me hard for a sick person Fuck me hard for a sick person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we should have waited. We should have waited It was so good. It was so good up until You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't I don't I don't but I do you know what I mean? I don't but I do like you don't treat me What I'm saying

I don't but I do but I love that you don't you don't see me as this like You know incapable human You know, I'm thankful for the fact that this podcast exists even though I'm learning Slowly how to grow a thick skin and to absorb not absorb but to deflect the abuse that some of you great listeners throw our way I'm even thankful for the negative comments because it's teaching me to grow and be tolerant of different people's opinions I'm thankful for that fucking cat meowing outside like a fucking crazy animal and I'm thankful for

The fact that every single one of the people that I love are alive and thriving. Yeah So that's it. Can we just like I don't like the full fuck me hard thing. I regret it because I was being sincere Yeah, I mean just let you know what I'm okay And that was a great podcast and the thing is this this is that the thing is this is that Listen, um To everyone that's listening if you're listening, all right You know, we live if you're you know, we we live in a free society Hopefully, I don't know where you're listening from but you live in Australia listening to this if the person in Syria is like no, sir

I don't live in a free society If you are living in a free society, we're coming for you We're gonna save you and we're very and we're very lucky to be in because it could have been a different place and um It might still be tomorrow. It might be still tomorrow, but it's moment to moment. I love you guys so much God bless you. Take care and godspeed Oh, am I plugging stuff for bobby? Absolutely. Well, this is ended so well with just him saying godspeed godspeed. Yeah, but uh, so this is This is going well today is saturday and we are going to air this episode on Wednesday, so technically this was our Thanksgiving episode, right? And the reason for this is that Gilbert leaves for Chicago tomorrow

So we won't have an engineer to record next week. Um, thank you for all the hate tweets. Oh, yeah No, it's not that I I'm I'm okay with like differing opinions. It's it's it's Some people it's it's very confusing for me when I get Um tweets from let's let's say like what seems to be a very devout listener Who's probably listened to every single episode of dvd asa Who's probably listened to every single episode of my shit podcast the calamity? They seem like they followed us from the start, right?

But it's they also seem to be the most abusive like as if they've they've felt they've deemed themselves entitled to To attack us for every wrong thing that we say and look guys you mean for the free content you're providing I I'm going to say a million other wrong things probably super ignorant things probably uneducated things things that i'm going to to cringe At even when I listen to it like when I listen to myself sometimes i'm like why the fuck do I say that? But look like this is a format for us to just talk in conversation freely without

any fear of like you know Backlash, but it's like in the backlash is also something that you should expect because I think that people should be held responsible for Some of the crazy shit that they say right because we are in a sense still We have a mic. Yeah, so it's like you still have the power to sort of you know persuade or dissuade people and to like You know to influence people, right? But at the end of the day me and bobby are just two fucking morons on a mic. So keep that in mind So when you want to dictate how we how you think we should do our podcast don't

Just don't We we come in here half naked half asleep because this is our home and we're just going to continue to spew out dumb shit So, I mean Yes, in a sense. We try to like inject, you know, some Insightful things here and there but at the end of the day keep in mind that we're just too stupid people We're just like you. We just have a mic So with that said man, stop the abuse If you like to keep listening if you really just can't stand it all you have to do is stop listening

Yeah, and just you know, it's thanksgiving Just be thankful that that you know, like you have you know, two people who Who lack a whole lot of filters to listen to true? And we love you for everybody else that's just been so supportive and some people who who send us email after email with just Questions and praise like you don't know how much that means to us from the bottom of our hearts like we can't express the amount of gratitude That we feel in our hearts because of that. So thank you and you will hear about gilbert's disaster set Um, we're gonna do an a bonus belly another one. Yeah another one this week

So we'll probably put this out wednesday and then your the the post gilbert Disaster episode thursday, so we'll put them back to back. So you guys have two podcasts this week And um, will we will see you after thanksgiving? Um, i'm not gonna plug any of the shows because i've done that in every single episode Make sure you rate comment and subscribe to itunes and go on instagram follow us at tiger belly And on twitter at the tiger belly and check out our new website www.tigerbelly.com All right, see you guys next week. Bye

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