TigerBelly - Episode 161: Michael Rosenbaum & The Landing Dock

Episode Date: September 26, 2018

Bobo buys a goose. Rosey get dissed by The Joker. We talk thousand island dressing, rice hacks, sweet Aunt Sadie, and docking as a symbol of brotherhood. Extra content every Monday:https://www.patreon.com/TigerBellySupport us by supporting our sponsors!  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Five four three two one everybody yes Everybody because be forever in the prison all night long Everybody Not nominated all night long No, I said not to sing man. It's my song. Oh, I was humming. Oh, you're true You're true. You're true. Do your word. You're true. You're all right. Yeah. Anyway Everybody I'm done. He said come believe come on. Let's uh, yeah

Anyway, uh, he fucked up that song. That's fine. He's my friend. Um, it's true My name is Bob. Hi. Hi Bob Um, yep. Yep, and we got uh, yeah, we got uh gilgill. Yeah, we got um White white we got I don't know he country country country country country got my beautiful girlfriend Kalilah and I'm your captain I'm forever your captain and I'm I love leaving leading the ship and we're going nowhere over the edge and But we're gonna go through the fucking cosmos and we're gonna be together All of us sleepers me and we're gonna learn about all kinds of stuff extraterrestrial life forms

mental capacities mind numbing Yeah, exactly, right Exactly what I'm yeah, exactly. I haven't even introduced you yet. Okay, but anyway, welcome to another episode of tiger belly I'm your captain and your animal and I'm special But so are you and we're all the same and that's the key and that's my point of the whole show is is that we're all the same, but anyway, um We have a special guest tonight. He's doing on the program before

he You know, he was uh, I've worked with him before and he was on a television program called small and and smallville, I mean and He was played the Lex on it and he has his own podcast Growing huge because you can get bigger guests on we because he's a bigger star. I guess I don't know He knows what I'm talking about. But anyway, um, how about a round of applause for Mikey Rosenbotham everybody? Thanks What's up, man

Good, I'm happy to be here. I'm happy. You know, I was taking a nap right client along But that was a nap. How many hours you take a day five hour five hour naps five hour naps. Yeah, I was sleeping Is that did you take the five hour? Opposite energy drink. Oh, do you do they don't have that? So, uh, no You see that they don't have that so no, but that's depression five hours. No, it's not 40 minutes is what you know You're all right. Well, I'm depressed. I don't know. Maybe I need help. Maybe I need to settle So anyway, I was taking a nap and I was toward it. She goes he's here. I go who I Go who who's here? I go Gilbert and those guys are here. She said no our guest. Who's the guest?

And she goes Michael Rosenbaum and I got right up. Well, it took me a second I'm in it in I got up and I was excited. Yeah, you got excited. I like you You didn't seem that excited to see me because playing it cool. You're playing it cool Yeah, you showed me your new $600 pair of shoes. Yeah I just don't understand. I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna explain to you my friend. All right So I was on set like I want to show I was on a set last week and there was this girl She's a make she's a hair lady on the show and she was wearing a pair of these golden gooses And I used to own a pair a long time ago and I go, what are those she goes golden goose?

I go, oh my god, he's the only pair but I lost one of them in a hotel room like one of the pairs And so Klyla and I went to a golden goose this weekend in Beverly Hills, and this is a distressed Shoe, there's $600. I know it's um Was it deviant? Oh, hold on a second. Hold on Jesus Oh, wow, did you have to aim it at my face? Yeah, yeah, I saw you go. Oh my god. Oh, was that part of the Strud? They're from Paris. Yeah. Yeah. Last night. Oh, yeah So anyway, um shout out to park very good food. Good fresh meat. Very good Michael. Delicious. Is that rude?

No, I felt like I had dinner just now In K-town. Yeah, um, I got those and um, yes I was very excited that you were coming because I haven't seen you in a while and how's your podcast going? It's going great. But can I just bring something up? I noticed when I came here. I'm like, oh, you know Bobby He's a very successful stand-up comedian. He's uh, he's got a new show. He's making a lot of money and I'm surprised that you're still I root I commend you for being in the same small apart. Okay Okay, but you have us can't it's hard to all fit in here, but be honest. Yeah, and that's not the problem I listen, I'm I live modestly. I'm saying this you but a beautiful home from small

That's my money. I'm saying no, and I'm saying that it surprises me that then you show me a six hundred dollar pair of When you could have had a maybe a two bedroom Oh, I want to educate you because you're being confrontational and oh, no, no, and I will war with you verbally I'm looking out for you. No, I'm looking out to for me as well and I'm over and I'm defending myself. Okay, okay I still smell you fucking arrogant Jew. Do you think I'm an arrogant you first of all? I'm not even religious. I missed you. I'm cute poor. In fact, I ate more during Yim Kippur In the way I just said that was so bad. I'm a bad Jew. I'm Jew. I love the Jewish people. I've been there I know I've been where you've been where you land to do

Let me just kind of just defend myself. Yeah, we didn't make an offer on how I didn't work out So I'm we're looking again right now We are we're looking again right now and we're gonna get a house in the next three or four months Where where do you think you're gonna live? No, we're near you No, we're near you, but I know where you live. I like your hot play area You don't get reception up there, huh? Isn't that nice when you go up there and you don't have to like text everybody Yeah, but you can't get reception. You have it's called Wi-Fi. You asked me my Wi-Fi and then you could email and you can make some Wi-Fi calls

I also have a home phone. Oh I've been wanting to get a landline here. It's really nice to stay away from my phone altogether Are you trying to go back and and be go back to the archaic way of things? Yeah, I'm over Yeah, I feel like I'm looking at my phone too much. I do. I think I look at my phone. Yeah Do you look at your phone a lot and it depresses me? I think most of my depression and sadness is from social media and looking at my phone What are you looking at likes? Well, you know, you you also look at like I always if you look at my Google history It's either like this week is Donald Trump probably every other time. I Google something Joaquin Phoenix Joker. Yeah, right

That's one of another one. What do you think of that? Gilbert under his breath. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna say this about that. Okay people going crazy Like it's not like, you know, the cartoons or it's or the comic that's not it's Childly, it's more like a clown or whatever. Everybody will always do that. If there's new kid number one Okay, you had Nicholson. He killed it. Yeah, right? You had the Heath Ledger Heath Ledger killed it. He Not only super killed it. He made it almost impossible for anyone to follow that. Yeah, it was so good Then you had Jared that got a lot of heat. I didn't see the Jared one. It's a little weird. It's more punk rock Joker Okay, okay. And so with all that for what can you Phoenix to even say yes to that is so brave ballsy

I have an issue with Joaquin. Why? No, no, I think he's a marvelous actor. I'll watch you just but there's something in my head that I just can't get out Do you know what years ago? Let's start there. Well, let's start before that. Okay? My grandfather Sorry, I'm finishing some He said well, you know, Mike we're actually related to River Phoenix Your aunt Sadie. Yeah, her husband his cousin is River Phoenix Well, so I made the mistake one night after a party. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Joaquin was by himself near a car waiting for valet

Yeah, I said, hey, my name is Michael Rosenbaum, man. I just I just want you to know that we have a kind of a There's something in common my aunt Sadie. I'm related. It was related to your family and he goes he just looked at me I've never had this before He cut me off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now people have cut me off. Yeah. Yeah, you have many times already And he said I Don't want to talk about this right now And he turned and walked away and left me speechless for one of the few times Wow, and I just rub and you know, I told my dad about it. Yeah. Oh, fuck that guy. Oh, that's what that's disgusting

He did that. Yeah, I didn't even entertain it. He didn't even say oh, that's cool He walked with and then I look back. You know, maybe it maybe it wasn't the right time It doesn't know the first of all, can I just say this dude? Go ahead? It there's never a right or wrong time. It's it was the right time was it you're making a conversation with somebody at a party It's like you're not on set. You're not working, right? I don't have a mouthful of food You're not interrupting a meal. It's just it broke my heart a little bit. It breaks just hearing it breaks my heart I was nice. I want it to fail now. Yeah, and I'm I want his joker to fail I still want him to be great. I do I do you do. All right. It just made me upset me

I was like, wow, was I over the line? I said was hey, you know my aunts and he just cut me the fuck Oh, I love walking. Did it happen a week after River Phoenix died or no? No, this is many years This was like a couple years ago. Oh, wow Was it during when he was doing that weird like no the letterman thing? No, no, no This was just he didn't want to hear the line area. I'm kind of related to you. I don't want to talk about Wow It's so funny. It's because to me and excuse me for saying this, but You're not a big celebrity. No, just listen to what I'm saying. No, no, no, no, okay. Listen to what I'm saying Before you interrupt me again. Sorry. Okay. Sorry. So what I'm saying is is that sure you're not Chris Evans right now

He's really handsome. He's very handsome. But to me When I met you, I'm like this guy's a legit, you know, everybody. I mean everybody that I know That's in the business knows who Michael Rosenbaum is and they like you. Oh, I love that dude I want to his house. I've been doing this a while. So you meet people on the right What I'm saying though is is that you have a lot of people That really love you and these are people that have done a lot of things in their career as well, right? You've done so much and what like, you know, it's nice about this before when you had your own show You brought me in to test, you know, I didn't get it. It's fine and

And You had my vote I understand that but The guy that got it is not bigger than me, but my point is is this Never heard of them but my point is is this is that And that's better, but anyway, my point is this is is that you fucked up, but I know but my point is is is that you're a legitimate Hollywood guy, I really believe that you know everybody you I don't like the Hollywood guy No, you're a guy that's working in LA in the in the business of acting the acting industry, you know

And comics know who you are as well. I talked. I've talked about you got me comedy I talked to Harlan Williams about you a bunch of people I've talked about and you you are somebody that You have good good will out there. And so for walking Phoenix to do that is It's crazy like even when I was at the store a couple times when Mike Young would bring in Toby McGuire or Leo Leonardo DiCaprio, they still shake hands and yeah. Hey, what's up, dude? You know and say hello, right? Sure. I mean they're human beings, right? I don't get into full-on Conversations with it cuz I don't know what to say you just say hey, man. What's up? How are you? Yeah, and it's a nice response right and they go. Hey, how are you good?

But this was like, hey, how you doing? Hey, we have a cousin in common, but I don't want to talk about it right now And walked away that sounds on brand to what I assume he would really be like Well, I just broke my cuz you meet a lot of big stars and they're always cool Yeah, like anybody I've ever met always cool Even if it's a short like ain't doing This one guy told me this story This guy John Berenthal big actor big actor great actor love him He told me this story where he worked with the Nero and he went into his trailer after the movie was over

Yeah, then there goes Why don't you come in for a second? Oh, wow Come in for a second. Yeah sat down and he goes and he sat down with the Nero instead of enjoying the moment He made the mistake of saying, hey, I just want to tell you something. You're my favorite actor of all time You're an influence to me. You're an inspiration to me. This has been a just and he just spilled his heart out Yeah, and Bobby was like this. He's called Bobby. I'm calm. Yeah. He says Stop stop stop. You don't have to do this stop. Yeah, he goes. No. No, you got to let me get this out And he goes, okay. All right. All right

And he went on and on and he said I go and then it was great He goes, no, it was the most uncomfortable thing that's ever happened. Yeah, it just was like that was all that was lost so I think in Hollywood, it's almost because I've done this before while I'm meet an actor yeah, and It was like I met a couple actors. I go, hey, I was I belonged I felt like okay. I'm part of this and I had to say something like hey I just yeah stupid because the little kid in me comes out I'm realized I'm around big stars and I don't feel like a big star Or that or yeah, anyway, right I say something and immediately they look at me like oh, you don't belong Don't fit

See, I stopped talking because I know I'm gonna say something incriminating Like if no, like if I'm with the Caprio, right? And I go, what's up? And he's like, how you doing? I'm go, yeah, I'm alright. And he's like, so how's the family? I'll suck your dick You're gonna suck your dick right now And he's like what what are you talking about? Yeah, I mean that's I'm so desperate for like that approval That's like oh this guy's weird. No, I don't know. No, I would really suck his dick. You'd suck didn't I probably would you suck the Caprio just out of fear and like out of fear who's like the dick out of fear Maybe someone who's being

All right, I'm sorry, you're right. I'm sorry. I do my point. I'm sorry I'm sorry. I don't like being laughed at in my face like that. You're fucking bullying. I'm sorry to be the bully Here's the here's what I'm gonna be the body. Here's what I'll say though I don't understand sorry because it wasn't like the Caprio said suck my dick suck my dick and you're scared You went up to him go. I'll suck your dick. No fourth line in how's the family? I said what pretty good You know, I mean, I'll suck your dick or whatever. You know, it's not the opening thing Would you be afraid of you? No, that's unnecessary. You know, that's not Hey, let's not talk about that. Stop. Stop. You don't need to do that. Yeah. Yeah. Stop. Yeah

Yeah, I get you know, I get like uh one time I played charades. I chose up as a charades with Ashley Judd once I always loved her. Yeah, she's nice. What'd you do? Well, this is when Vince liked me Vince Vaughn. Yeah, and Vince invited me to play I played uh Which is far from we played running charades. It was fun. Yeah, so that's one time that happened. What do you mean? What's the point of the story? No, where I was around like, you know, big people And you succeeded. You sucked a dick. What'd you do? What's my uh Korean name again? I don't know. What is that? Suck dick jew

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So um, so what was it like making out with j catapretta? I mean she's like She's a guest on my show a friend family. Um, she tells me that you guys are almost fucked. Oh, oh my god So what was that like pretty good? Uh, first of all, first of all, uh, as you know, I don't kiss and tell I've never been the guy that always says I did this bullshit. I've never am never I'm do I know We'll never talk shit about and that's my close friends. I'll say hey, you know, yeah, I'm gonna. I'm not even McCarthy I'm not your close friend then

Yeah, you are well then I'm an antastic But I don't bring these things up. I bring it up. She told you this there's some truth to it Right. Also, she told you in confidence. Yeah, I don't think so. I would say she did it as a joke I'm gonna tell you this. Yeah, I love her to death. She's an amazing individual. She's one of the funniest comedians I've ever seen. I think that's great. I think she's hilarious. She's hilarious I'm not prepping or pumping this up to make it Right. The thing is we kind of hit it off at Harlan's party. You suck at a coconut titties Stop it. Let the man speak. I want to hear this

We we ended up making out at Harlan Williams house one night. It was awesome She came over we ended up making out. We did not sleep together I thought it wouldn't be a good idea. We're friends unless I don't at this age You're right. I'm actually like a child. But at this age, I don't look like I was younger At this age, listen when I was younger, I'd have sex. I didn't care sex was sex. It was fun Whatever now I kind of want a relationship I can't like I have to connect with somebody really and I did and I love her to death But I wasn't over my ex at this time

So it was nice and it was just like hey and she knew I wasn't right But she was also she was she's got her own thing going on. So we're both It seemed like you were on the same page. Yeah, she didn't want anything. I didn't want anything. It was nice I love her to death. We saw a movie a couple of weeks ago. We're friends, but it was great. They weren't coconut like what? They were nice. They were they were real. They were nice I mean, she's gonna tell you this. I'm gonna add something to it. She's a beautiful girl. She's brazilian. What movie? What movie what we saw? Oh my god. This is gonna ruin it mr. Rogers documentary But we didn't do anything while we were watching the movie

Did you like that documentary? It was okay. It was a little boring. It was like, oh, this guy's nice Oh, he's nice. It's nice. I found it to be the same thing The trailer makes you it tugs at your heart engaging. Yeah, it was okay. Yeah, and it was just a little like, okay Does he do anything? You know, you want him to do something provocative not provocative. I just there's he didn't seem almost human to me man Yeah, how can someone be that nice? Yeah, but maybe there are people out there like that in the world Yeah, I mean like you you just go up and say hey, I'll suck your dick. That's pretty nice Yeah, but I said that as a joke on a podcast. Yeah, but I think you'd do it

I don't think I would now you and that's rude. Yeah, you wouldn't you know, man I'm making a joke on my own podcast. Have you ever sucked a dick? Yes You never asked him on your podcast. Uh, I think he told me What the why would you you don't have to suck the microphone to show me how you did it? Why did you try to humiliate me in front of my peeps? Bryce say something For the love of god Since he doesn't make eye contact with anyone

They silenced me. No, I'm you know that jay capper what I just did was wrong. So dumb Dumb and wrong. You know what? Here's the honest thing. How many people really Who are listening are they do they know jade really what she was on here, right? They know her they love jade They love jade. Oh, so she's a big fan now. So now they're gonna but they're great because if they like her Hopefully they like me. They love you. Well, see then we when we get along great. It wasn't like it was a bad thing Two people made out in hollywood, man Um, what's so wrong with that? You don't even have sex

I advocated for that. I linked it up. I made it happen. You did but it happened a long time after she wasn't over that I don't think she's still over the decks. Yeah, she did see a korean dude out of a van You know that she saw a korean dude out of the van. Yeah, but we're not gonna Why don't you stop spilling on her secret? Was she high when she came on the show? No, no So, um, you also went to australia for with uh, um, mike bigs big. What's his name? Mike bigs big You weren't even in the realm of close michael realm tom welling. Tommy welling tom welling who's working on the show I don't call it. Um, small but I'll call it lax. Matt bigs big. That's what that shows. Mike bigs. Lex

Okay, okay, so mike big speed you and I went to when you guys went to, um, Australia we went to so tom wouldn't do autograph signings or wouldn't do appearances for many many years So I said listen, he's just a shy guy. He's not as you know fun as he's fun But he just didn't want to do them for years So I called him I said hey dude if you do these things fans would go crazy We'd have a good time and I'd like somebody to come with me on these weekend adventures So he started doing with with me and we did like I think seven this year So it's it's basically for smallville. You guys go to town and you and are you in a theater or you're at a bookstore?

We're going to paris together. Oh So they they pay for our trip to paris and we meet all these people in paris and we sign autographs We take pictures. We do a q&a together. We have a blast with the fans We're in a big auditorium or whatever and it's like two days of that stuff and the fans love it And I always are there other shows and doing it at the same simultaneously I think you know, he's doing it with us Parker louis can't lose. Do you remember that show? Yeah. Yeah, they're doing it So they so you guys go first and so they'll you'll have some parker can't lose fans in there

No, no, no So we go sit around this convention and they're on the other side of the room We're here There's other people and artists and stuff and we'll sign and we'll do all that stuff. So it's just fun. It's easy But in like australia. Oh great. He just made his first note. Is that is it you're gonna keep that one? You have a lot of advertisers And that's really that's crossing the line is it a lot. Okay, sir. No, we got about two or three. Yeah What do you guys get the same thing? Yeah four or five? Yeah

Oh, wow You get about four or five. We are new. You have many more listeners. That's not true. Yes, it is Can I just say this what you stole our guy too? What guy that guy you met through me? Rob The guy that does the engineering all that stuff that you didn't you not meet him through me and rob at the Irvine imprompt. Oh, yeah Oh Yeah

No, no, no fuck off. He's a photographer who is there taking pictures. I know still that he was there He wasn't anything to you. He was still there for me. Do you want to change Gilbert? Do you want to get rid of fucking big nipples over there? You want to bring over my guy and I'll take Gilbert? So anyway, how's so You guys are doing good shows much bigger. You have 160 episodes. You make a lot more money than I do in the podcast I'm not making any money on this thing. It's not a competition It's not a competition, but I'm just saying

We're starting for you. I want to say thank you Because again besides stand-up you got me. You said you should do a podcast and at first I was like bobby No one's listening. Yeah, so now we have some people at least listening people like it and I've talked to people about it and also secondly, um What's great about you is because you are so intrinsically liked out there And you you can get people on your show that I can't like Kristen wigg did it No, Kristen wigg did not. Kristen bell. Kristen bell did you know like Kristen bell did Why because I did a movie with her and her husband Dax is one of my closest friends. That's right. And so I just said, hey

You know, this would really help me out and since my producer's Dax got the idea when I did he did my podcast to do a podcast and he called me up and he said Hey, can I use rob your engineer? I swear to god. I go. Yeah, sure He has a million listeners and rob does his too And he does his too. He does like the head. He has the biggest podcast biggest podcast out there It all started with you But thank god for you, you know, we're helping each other out. We are like each other We we are at podcasts is actually like the top one top. It's like that's crazy. You know what it is

It's figuring out what you're what you're talking about like first. I was like, it's another fucking podcast, right? You talk about anything you say anything you're provocative. You're unpredictable Who knows if you're gonna slap a fucking Kimmel in the face, you know suck his dick, right? You don't know what's gonna happen. And so With mine is it's like it gets it's it gets deep. We get we talk about real shit. Like, you know Yeah, tragedies. Well, that's tragedies, but just real shit. Yeah, you're gonna come back on, right? I love it Um, I also want to do a little poll. We don't do polls here and polls. Yeah, it's yeah I want to ask around the room

What I'm gonna ask around the room how much jail time you think Cosby's gonna get So it's either three ten No jail time time house arrest. What do you think? I think he's gonna get house arrest. That's not what I think he deserves Yeah, yeah, what do you think he deserves? Oh my god. He's 81 years old I so I wonder what they're gonna do ghost dad think of and they say And they said the psychologist said that he'll do it again That's what that's what the psychologist did. I think that they become creepier the older they get I think that they take more liberties the older he's legally blind

You know, he's legally blind now. You could still rape with blindness. You can see how hard to do though One of his hearings how he like skipped over happily. Right. I saw that That man is no room. So you think he's gonna get house arrest, but you think that what he deserves is life I think he's gonna get a little prison time I think he's they gotta give him a little prison time. I don't think he's gonna get anything What about you gilp? I would say celebrity. So house arrest, but probably deserves life Deserves life. I'm gonna say he's gonna get two years in a penitentiary and then rehab and mental evaluation and house arrest My prediction is get three years

But he's gonna kill himself before he gets in there I don't think that he has the capacity to kill himself. He is the heat when I saw him today Oh, you mean before he goes in. Yeah, when I saw him today I looked in his straw. Not just distraught. He's a man who's like he's got a plan He's a man with a plan and there's a sadness about him in his eyes He deserves life I believe the victims and um as well as I believe the victims of the Kavanaugh situation as well

And um, I believe that he's going to get some prison time, but he's going to kill himself It's a really sad tragic End of a man. I think he has too much of an ego to kill himself I mean he was doing stand-up like six months ago. Yeah, I think you're right I don't think he's gonna kill himself because you know, he knows deep down. He's a smart guy. He's probably going I'm 81 It's happened a long time ago. I'll get away with it somehow I'll just plead like I you know plead like uh, you know, I didn't know what I was doing This isn't what it was this and he'll just keep playing the game and he'll get the sentence and the sentence

I hope it's a female judge. Is it? I don't know. Wouldn't that be nice? That would be nice Do you think that do people go to his shows? Oh, he only did one. I think he just showed up shows up at this No, I think he just showed up and did some stand-up at a clog. Yeah, right I don't even know It's pretty good An 81 is old line. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. I would always want to see a set just just to be there

Whoa, that was the ghost of something ghost of Elmer's glue They still make Elmer's glue. Yeah, but I don't like that kind. Remember the old Elmer joke. No, you have Elmer's glue Yeah, well Elmer wants it back You don't remember that old school joke? No, no one has said that joke ever you made that fucking joke up It doesn't make any fucking sense that joke. You know what I mean? You used to be able to get a bus from Elmer Hey, uh, you have model valley water with mom valley wants it back That doesn't work

No, no, there's a possession. Elmer is a name. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Elmer. You can't. Hey, you have harmless coconut water harmless wants it back You can do it. Hey, you have Anyone can do it with anything fucker. You made that up. I've never heard that and I refuse. I heard it in 82 We used to use rice like cooked rice for glue as glue instead of cooked rice. That's pretty cool It is The cooler if you had some glue We've made life easier. You have to go to Walgreens

No You gotta go through all the trouble. You didn't have Walgreens. Where'd you grow up? The Philippines. No, I know that but you didn't have they didn't have They did but you know like when you were younger and you just needed last minute glue and you didn't have glue or paste around You just use rice and it's it's exactly like paste. Okay. Can I how do you do? How do you you overcook the rice? No, you just it's just cooked rice You smash it and then rice eventually gets hard when it dries, right? So it's like a paste Do you know what you get when you mix thousand island dressing with ketchup? No

Thousand island. I'm sorry. No, that's mayo and ketchup. It's thousand island. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Let's edit that You know what you get when you mix the thousand island with ketchup take on shut the fuck like red or a thousand island Fucking shut up dude. I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about nipples I want to do this again. Okay. You're not editing that out now. You know what you get when you get ketchup and mayo thousand island dressing It's delicious and you can't tell the difference. Yeah. And also you can use rice for glue. Yeah. Oh my god. Wow Can you really do that? I don't know. Yes. Can you do that? Oh, you've done this. Yeah, of course. I'm acting like we had to use mayo

I bet you none of you guys know what to do if the toilet isn't flushing. You don't know like take a picture of your shit If you're at a woman's house, you really haven't gotten over the honeymoon phase yet. You still care about leaving shit behind Yeah, the thing won't flush. What do you do? I would fucking I would go get a scoop out of the dog's Food and then scoop it out for a really a large uh The pasta spoon. Yeah, and then put it in down the drain in the sink I'll try to jam it back in my butthole throw it out the back window. Yeah Let's show a clip

Oh wow, yeah, that was great. Now you always do that. Let's get a clip. You should edit a clip. Was that is that would that be impossible? No, what to jam your own shit and back into your asshole? Well, yeah, it's like it's not impossible. I don't think it's impossible. What do you mean? Unless it's a very hard There we go. Like almost fymified. Right. Yeah, then you can basically ask fuck yourself with your own shit. I bet there's a there's a there's something like necrophiliac. I bet there's a Oh, you mean just the the feeling of Why does it have to be shit though? What why does it have to be shit? Who has ever put a turd back inside? That might be a real thing because you know, like, what do they call it when they put dicks inside dicks that the docking docking docking

I mean, that's a thing Glad you're aware of that Gilbert. Yeah, you've got it wrong. Actually, it's four. No, no, no, no, she got it wrong. It's actually I know Hey, let's throw a clip It's four skin they use it's four skin and an uncircumcised day. Oh, you need four skin people did that judge me all the time Right. Yeah. Are you uncircumcised? I'm uncircumcised. I'm circumcised for sure. Me too. Yeah, uncircumcised. So you have a sleeping bag deck Yeah, it's like an anteater. Yeah, is it true that after a couple hours it will smell like cheese That's if you don't pull back and you don't pull back when you're a kid when you're a kid

Do you get schmegma a lot? Not anymore. Do you wash your dick every day? Yeah, all right If I don't shower my dick doesn't smell like cheese Yeah, good stuff, but it's like but Let's go to a club That's gotta be an ongoing no, no, no, I want to go back to docking. Yeah You're interested. Yeah, I'm interested in docking because it's it's an interesting concept to me. So, um So you're when you so you you could do it with me. No, someone could you could do it to him

I could do I could dock you. Yeah, but I have to be willing I understand that. Is it supposed to feel good? I understand that. Is it supposed to feel good or it's just like a novelty? It's more I think it's novelty. Symbol of friendship or a brotherhood. Long-lasting brotherhood It's almost like rolling a piece of sushi to you figure like you put your dick your weenie bump You put the head against the head and then you take that skin and go La la la la la la Over your dick Docking docking I really wish you had a clip. You can't be a wreck. No one can be a wreck in this situation. Oh, no

He doesn't have to be that's just too much play here, he can't be a wreck. I have to be erect. Right Because if you're too erect then the skins all the way back right Science. Science alert. Science alert. Wow. Docking. Docking. I like all those things like this. Dirty Sanchez, all those little things. What's a dirty Sanchez again exactly? Depends who you ask.

My thing is me stipping my own finger in my own butthole and then putting it on our... Have you ever done that? You laugh because he done that. Has he ever done that? He would do that. That's poop. That's poop. You can't do that. That's disgusting. Have you ever smelled poop while having sex?

Oh, yeah. How do you feel about it? I end it. I try to come as fast as I can. Well, I could come if I smelled poop. You could still come when you smelled poop. That's weird. Well, I mean, I've told the story before where I met this girl in Cleveland. The guitar playing the guitar?

Yeah, and she bet... We're in La Jolla. She bent over and I smelled shit. And it was during the day. So I took my thumbs. I pried open her butthole. And there was a couple of hairs sticking out of her ass. The end of one of the hairs was a ball of shit. You didn't pried open her butthole. You pried open her cheeks. Yeah, cheeks. And I tried to flick it.

But, you know, you get the rhythm of... You tried to flick the turd out of the way. A bingleberry. I would have... If I had to describe... This would be me. Oh, really? Immediately. If I smell any, like, bad breath

or, like, a turd smell or... I'm just out. I can't. For some reason, my mind just goes... No matter how hot she is. It doesn't matter about that. It's happened before when I've been in a relationship and all of a sudden, you know, you're having sex. It happens.

Age has a lot to do with it. I think because you're in your 40s. Right? You're jaded. You want to bring back her up again? No, no, not jade, but you're jaded. Right? You've been around. I think in your 20s,

like, do it. Because it was in my 20s when this happened. I don't know if I'd be able to do... Look, I think it's... I don't like... I can't have a lot of distractions. Maybe it's the ADD. I just can't, like, have too many distractions. I mean, I just...

As long as I'm in a... Look, I've been in a relationship. I don't, like, run away. I'm like, okay, I smell a little, like, poop. Is it so hard to just think, before I have sex, I want to try and clean my ass when I'm in a relationship. There are two types of females.

And neither of them are better than the other. But there are girls who are just so down. They don't give a shit. They're just... And that's fine. They're able to do it on a whim. I could never in my entire life have sex on a whim. Even if it's seemingly like on a whim,

I still take a trip to the bathroom. I find a water bottle. I find some fucking, you know, old soap crusted at the side of the tub. But it's just like something incredibly funny. For some reason, I picture you behind this girl 20 years ago. And I just picture you

just grabbing, like, a wet wipe and just, like, pulling back. They're like, ah! I mean... But that end, I didn't want to see you after that. Because all you could think was that. It was just, to me, just... I just couldn't get it out of my head.

You know, so that does... It seems it does affect you. I don't think that's going to be our relationship. I'm a little bit weird about that, too. If I don't feel like I'm clean, I can't get off. Yeah, because you're like, oh my god, do I smell? Yeah, like, I'm so...

And it's kind of not a good way to be. Because you should be uninhibited. You should be to just say, yeah, fuck it. Yeah, but I'm like, yeah, I wish I was more like that. Because I'm not that spontaneous of a lover, either. You can't just be like, here, now. Take it all off. I'm like, no, where's my wet wipe?

Where's my, you know, where's the water? How to wear some soap? I think about all those things all the time. Gilbert, have you ever had your butt eaten? You have. I've not.

I know you have. I haven't been with dirty girls like that. I don't think they're dirty. I need ass. That doesn't make me dirty. Don't judge a girl for eating a butthole. Just makes me an angel. Yeah, but by the way, but I remember one time I was just in my head.

I was just, it was happening and I was like, did I shower? No, she's going down there. She likes it. She's been down there a while. Yeah. All right. I gotta forget about it. She's digging it. The taste goes away after a while, I think. So you've tasted ours. Yeah. Somebody said it tastes like candy. Is that true? Who fucking said that?

I don't know, but like it was like a, like a, or a penny. A penny. Iron. A penny and candy? Or two different fucking things, man. A candy penny? Yeah. A candy. Excuse me for a second. Hold on. You're gonna fart again?

Can you aim at a Gilbert? This is what it tastes like. You get a mattress from Lisa? We did get one. Is it nice? Can I tell you something that happened today on, I don't like talking show business, but something happened weird today on set. Oh, you didn't work on the episode, but you still got paid?

No, no, no, no. That's next week. That's next week. We're gonna have some Korean actor kid. And me and Lindsay have a scene, you know, Lindsay. Price. Yeah, of course. Yeah. She's my wife on it. She's amazing. She's great. We talk about you all the time. Really?

Yeah, I talk, I try to bring up the thing where you, you had a guitar, you were singing to her and you put her in a closet or what, I don't know. She doesn't remember. She doesn't remember. She serenaded her? We dated for a little while and it's funny because the same guy, one of my friends then dated her and then married her.

Yeah, she did get married. And then divorced. And then my ex-girlfriend of like a couple years ago, we broke up and then he called me and said, hey, and then he ended up dating her. But it's fine because it was like, he asked me and I wasn't in love, so I was like,

it's fine, but it was just kind of like, it's twice at that. I think he's like, keeping track of... No, I think it was just one of those flukes. It just really was. He's a nice guy, he's a great guy, but it was weird kind of things. Oh, so this is the guy that used to date was married to Lindsay. Yeah, yeah.

So anyway, can I go back to my story? Sure, sure. Do you have enough vapes, by the way? I need them. Do you smoke a lot? No, I'm a social smoker. But for me, because it was so ritualistic and it was a habit,

my paranoia is that it's going to run out and so I just have... There's like 10 in there. Yeah, there's like 10 in there. They're all charged. But let me tell you something, do you think that vaping that much, do you vape constantly where it's almost more

than you were when you were smoking? Oh, 10 times, because I vape. When I'm shooting, I ask, can I vape here and no one cares. So I literally vape right before they say action. In front of everybody. No one cares.

So today, I'm doing a scene with this kid, his nephew, and he's laying on a fucking couch. And he's like taking a nap. And the action, I have a dialogue scene with the kid and then it's his line.

He doesn't say anything. He doesn't say anything. Sounds like your nephew. Right, so then I say the line again. He doesn't say anything. And I go, are you asleep? And then all of a sudden I hear Omo, Omo, Omo!

He heard his mom comes on the set. Yelling at him? Yeah, yelling at him. Omo, Omo! Waking him up. Right? And he wakes up and he goes, where am I? What happened? And he goes, we're on a TV show. Did he get fired?

No, but I hear cut. Everyone's laughing. That is the funniest thing. Was he funny though? Was he good? He's a good kid. I understand that. Have you ever slept in a scene? Ever!

I thought I'm playing dead or something. I'll fall asleep. Do you know Michael Rooker? This is a funny story. In Guardians of the Galaxy he has a scene where he's lying there dead and he's supposed to be dead. Chris Pratt has this emotional scene

and he's talking. But he really fell asleep and he starts to snore during this emotional speech. Are you fucking kidding me? Oh, I'm so sorry. And then they did another take and he fell asleep again and snored.

He kept snoring and sleeping. I think it's awesome. Do you like him? Rooker? No, Pratt. Pratt, yeah, I love him. He's the one guy, big star. I was at the counter. I show up at the counter once in a while and I'll see him.

He'll hop up and give me a hug. He's just a regular guy. But there we go. It's like walking Phoenix, right? This is you. Is Chris Pratt just as big? You know what? I'm going to go to Walking Phoenix one more time and ask him the same question, see what he says.

If he walks away again. Yeah. Is he going to be dead to you then? Hey, a couple of years ago I came up to you and was talking to you about my Aunt Sadie. I can't talk about this. No, but you couldn't talk about it three years. Why not now? Are you going to do that? I will. Oh, please.

I'm going to have someone film it. If he walks away, I'm going to bring it on the show. Did you ever meet River back in the day or no? Rip Van Winkle. I was in a round. I was in college or something. He would have been a big star.

He was. I imagine now he would have been a go-to. He's a good looking guy. He's a great actor. He's a shame when that should happen. It's crazy. It's scary because you start with the older and you're like, oh my God. I had a time where I was taking sleeping pills a lot

and all this happened with what's his name who passed away. What's his name? The Joker. My mom called me crying. I know you're taking sleeping pills and pain pills. I had back surgery. I can't sleep. He mixed these and he died. It kind of woke me up and I was exhausted.

I was always working too much. I kind of put things into perspective. What's that important? Living is important. Who we fucking lost even as actors? Philip Seymour Hoffman. He could have done so many

great performances. Demons, man. No one knows. No matter what anybody says no one knows what the fuck's going on in your head. They can't say, well he did this or why did he... They don't know how dark it is. I just want to say everyone listening right now

and this is so true. Because I hang out with guys just comedians but guys that are doing well and I know how depressed they are and saddened they are just in a general way

and nothing fixes you. It's an inside job. Happiness is an inside job and you have to fucking figure that out no matter where you are right now. A job's not going to do it. Money's not going to do it.

Nothing is going to... the right woman is not going to do it. You think it will. I promise you right now it doesn't. If you don't learn to love yourself and that's a process I am and that shit we talk about on my show is like I asked Jennifer to love you and I said

Jennifer do you love yourself? I mean your middle name's Love. And she said no and it was so it hit me I got emotional and I looked at Rob my engineer and I shook her up. You love yourself right?

And I realized holy fuck it almost made me cry. There's a lot of people out there who are kind of lost I don't think it's like everybody loves himself you just got to learn to like yourself more and learn to love yourself and that's like you I think you really made a lot of improvement

when I met you when we were younger I think we were both unhappy always attention seekers I'm happy more happy now I think you're you'll drive by a crazy rich Asians poster right? This is the whole past month

you're in traffic and there's a gigantic crazy rich Asian on a building and you look up in your head you try to convince yourself and Jamie and Aqua they've been on my podcast all of them

Kenja I'm so happy for them and then the red lights still on and then you just go fuck them fuck it fuck I'm not gonna watch it like a Barry Manilow song yeah yeah and what I'm saying is that

you know I want I want to be different but you are different I know I'm trying I'm changing I think you found yourself I really do like over the years now Bobby has become I mean look I know the sensitive part

but you know the Bobby that just is a mess deep down but you have found a persona that you're proud of that people can relate to that you talk to people a certain way and that's you and people accept it as opposed to like early on you're saying do they like me do they like

do you still feel that way like do they like me I still feel like that yeah I do when people leave the podcast I go I didn't like that yeah I didn't like the interview oh yeah I wasn't good a lot of these podcasts I turned to Kalyla the next time that was bad huh it's okay

you're honest I have to be do you say when it's great no it's great yeah if it's great it's great I don't have to say anything it feels great we'll walk away from a podcast this is great yeah this is great this one right here that's good Dave Navarro was great

there's some that haven't been you won't name those people some solo ones that we do are so what I feel sometimes mediocre and solo just him and I are the three of us we do every other week a guest

and those are most of those we feel good about but there are times where we're just like you know what we weren't at our tip top today it's not a home run every time though you can't win them all 160 episodes in

and you're sometimes as good as your guest sometimes right yeah I've been trying I don't know we we've asked people that are like friends to do it that's not necessarily the best route I don't think right I still think we've had I can't think of one guest we didn't enjoy though

yeah like every interaction we've had on this podcast you can ask anybody in the comedic world they'll do your show that's not true what do you mean Ali one won't one won't do it she just doesn't do podcast doesn't matter she won't do it I know Jason Momoa he won't love him he won't do he won't do podcast yeah I asked Stephen

he texted me yesterday he won't do it he doesn't do him you know so you know not all everyone does him I have I've asked Bill Burr he said he'll do it but I don't follow through with it because I want to I want to get into a bigger place I have

10 or 15 people that would be great for this podcast that are bigger that I can ask but I'm not going to ask I just feel like they would be a little judge I feel so comfortable with you Mike I can bring you to this apartment I would I would come here anyway Whitney Cummings was here

I don't really mind she just knows I know why would anybody care who loves you I know but there are some people that I just don't want in the back of their minds to go that's where he's at I don't know what it is really yeah yeah what's up you don't know somebody as well yeah they're not you know really you're close

right right right and then you want to explain to them why I live here I bought this place yeah I just know you say it's Gilbert's apartment I will not shoot I will not shoot my mansion on cold water shooting Gilbert's studio I own all the equipment

I own the building yeah yeah so there's about 10 or 15 where I'm a little shy about it but when we move into the place I will be asking them as well but most of the people that I have on this podcast are people that I know

that I know well Jeff Harlan on we haven't had Harlan come in a second I know he would I talk to him all the time in fact I think Harlan should be one of the top priority you forget right because it's like you know we need a girl so you think you know whatever yeah Harlan would be in the top

and then um who else let's start anew no I want to just say a point though about my personality is I want to start wars verbally no listen I'm not gonna

do this part out we did I'm not gonna name any names but I'm just gonna say about my personality I'm gonna just share a little glimpse of what I do that's not a good thing is what I'm doing

it's unhealthy is that I have little mini resentments and things that I feel about certain comedians actors whoever and I want to jab at them I want to poke it is there a reason behind it?

yeah because I feel like I was slighted socially or something happened where I felt like I was hurt by them someone just belittle you or condescending condescending or something and in my head I perceive it in the wrong way

most of the time you take it like they don't like me they're mean to me they have something against me or what they said was oh yeah that's funny everyone's laughing at me okay I'll get you you know oh so she said something

we're gonna edit that but we don't know who so when you're listening to the night there's a he or she that's slighted me sorry I have those people and so then what I do is I'll jab and I've started a little wars with people and they don't end and they continue

and there's a couple out there that I did early on on this podcast where they're still out there and there's still a little thing and it's weird but doesn't it keep things spicy isn't okay not to have be friends with everybody look not everybody's gonna like you

in this room right now there's probably one person I won't make names but they're thinking he's not that funny he's not as funny as we hope to be you're saying about me no me I'm thinking somebody in this room doesn't think I'm as funny as I probably should be

maybe I'm gonna say this there's no way okay but somebody in this building there's no one in this building all I'm saying is it's an analogy I'm saying that you can't when you do at the comedy store there's 600 people

laughing their fucking dick off and Bobby Lee's the funniest fucking guy and there's probably 4 or 5 people that are like I can point about in the audience as soon as I'm in they get up to go to the bathroom right and I go there's Jackass going to the bathroom because he doesn't like my calling

you ever mention it I'll say it oh where you going buddy I do that I say minorities where I go oh yeah you don't like guys that are dynamic you are dynamic

my point is that there is that but it is this character defect I don't think that's a good thing you want everybody to like you there are still a couple of comics that I've said things about that have this little war with me

that I when I see them I have to avoid them and they have to avoid me it's a conscious thing and I've always been like that I've always had these little tiny little things well I know I'm just saying that I think that it's a character defect

I think that it is a trait within myself that I jab I jab you like that I'm saying I want to get rid of it you can keep all this in after the name that was mentioned because that's good stuff it is good stuff we are keeping it

do you have people that you don't like I have people who I just don't understand why they you can't look it's not in my business what people think of me it took me a while to understand that but it really isn't if most people like me

and the important people like me and if you really get down to it yes there's of course people there I would do table reads and I could tell there's a producer who's just like I don't think he should have been this part to begin with and you're like oh fuck you I gotta prove to you

I'm good I'm good I'm good and then I'm like why are you wasting energy on this you can't do anything about it all you could do is just be great and fuck him if you could do that one of the things he talks about is never taking anything personally nothing's personal

even if somebody walks up to you with a gun shoot you in the head it's not personal I think it was personal it has nothing to do with you it's all about that person that's what he's saying

it's nothing it's not about you it's about the issues of that person would you say 90% of people like you would you say that's a fair number no I believe what Mitzi said to me a long time ago and Mitzi said

that I have I have half the people like me and half the people hate me and she goes that's what makes a star that's what's gonna keep you working for the rest of your life is that same Jim Carrey has it you know Ellen has it

I never thought of that you need both you need people to go he sucks I hate him he's not funny and I read it online nobody here

we're leaving you're not funny I think that there's something to that there's only a few people in Hollywood that I believe that have almost a 90% there's not a single

I don't know anybody I think Morgan Freeman used to have it before the Mitzi thing what did Morgan Freeman do by the way I don't know I don't either I just saw a clip of him it was kind of

it was unclear but he was talking to a woman I guess it could have been taken the wrong way but it wasn't damning to me as a woman watching it it wasn't damning enough apparently he had done more that wasn't on video but also

he's an older guy he's he has a sly he's got an attitude this guy he comes from an older he's old school

and to me watching the videos that I did see it just didn't there was nothing there you didn't do anything I don't think you did you gotta be careful these days the best thing to do is just shut up

right now yeah because I think that ultimately the movement itself is about 80% in the right direction but even if you acknowledge that there's nuance as a male you're gonna get attacked

for saying that it's a nuanced thing that's what Sean Penn just got clobbered for this past week but you can't say that if you beat someone up exactly have I said something

or have I no one's gonna say oh he hit a girl or he assaulted them you gotta be a little smarter than that he has a track record that's one of those things but I'm just saying

you don't understand what it's like to be a woman we don't understand we don't understand when you walk down the street every day when you're walking down the street people are staring at you and yelling at you piece of meat

that's African Americans we don't understand what they've gone through I don't even know get pulled over you're black we don't deserve to say a word we don't understand what it's like to be that person I feel the same way about

Jews? whether I have an opinion or not it's not your body it's not my body I'm not a woman why would I even have a choice in that it's like a bunch of white dudes making laws for Korean dudes what would those laws be

you're no longer allowed to do Tae Kwon Do oh damn that's fucked I just got my white belt I got my stripe here's a ticket I took the year course

for a white belt this could be one of the worst analogies it's possible because when I did Tae Kwon Do he wouldn't even give me a white belt I had to use electrical tape I had to use electrical tape and a year later he'd give me a white belt

and a silver belt I made my own belt I have no I really just don't have any right whatsoever to talk about issues like I'm wearing a sweatshirt to this woman right here

she's just like late at night it's like turn the air on it's fucking freezing you know they say the best temperature to sleep is like 67 I like the cold curl up against some big blankets well my body doesn't know how to temperature regulate

because I'm actually freezing do you sleep naked? see how like if you touch my skin I'm cold but if you touch my hands they're wet sweat oh gross but I feel cold

I feel my hands do you sleep naked Bobby? I just want to know Gilbert do you sleep naked? wait you're with no underwear as well? sometimes I bet you have pajamas tops and bottoms with a hat

George is he's got a nice pair of matching pajamas sleepy hat too with a little hat and if he doesn't fall asleep to date line every night I don't know where he is so Michael back to where you're at back to where you're at so you're single right now right you went through a relationship

I'm gonna just listen okay you have your podcast correct do you sing for things with writing things or what? I wrote a script that we're gonna try and pitch here soon it's a dark half hour drama it's kind of like a little breaking bad-ish it's just kind of like

so we'll be pitching that I have a band it's a bucket list we're changing the name of the sandwich if anybody has a name out there they'd like to throw out right now we're thinking left on Laurel we're thinking the lookouts we're thinking something but the sandwich was just too quiet I feel like you should leave it up to him to name your band

me? yeah it's gotta be something not too funny not too cool something like oh that's a nice name article ooh that is a good name it feels good article yeah article I've always wanted to be a band called article

yeah article's a good one Kim will you email it to me it's not a joke band it's a real band I mean look it's a bucket list thing we started playing in my basement no one who had to play any instruments I played guitar my friend played league guitar he's really good the rest of them

no I could play something do you want to hear something yeah I'd like to hear it some of my friend goes why don't you just write your own shit and I go you know what I'm gonna fucking write it and it's a bucket list if people hate it I don't give a shit and I have a song I played on my guitar band and I'll show you my songs

well now you're gonna battle with the band I don't want you to one up me what's your band's name Bobby no what's your band's name have Michael play his first I don't know I'm not in a band I'm a solo artist

what's your soul what's your artist name artist name yeah I'm gonna play him Haya you want to hear it this is a good one is that really a song I love it it sounds the 80s I can't compete with that

it's good listen to you I can't compete that let's do it this is more like no let's do it don't justify it it's art it's more like 70s beach music I love beach music music so good article

article wow that's good dude you can sing why is that a joke yours is real well I can sing I'm not trained no one would sing I go who's singing not me well I'm not a singer so I said fuck it

so I started singing but I only sing the chords I write the songs I'm not a great singer I'm not Adam Lambert you're not let me say something right now I swear to god your first show we have to be invited I've already had one we played at the troubadour

we played at the hotel cafe no we were like open for three songs we were all new no no no yes yes yes yes yes yes I'm so fucking offended but you're right listen to me for a second

listen to me for a second for a goddamn second I was too nervous to invite any of my fucking friends because I was shitting my pants on stage I've never done it no nobody like only like people who found out what was happening showed up which made my heart race I was shitting my pants

now we're going to Germany for like a week little tour I'm nervous as shit I take a quarter of a Xanax before I go on stage I'm a mess I can't because I'm not a musician so I so it scares me so I will invite you but you know we're not like fucking Radiohead or something

I know I'm not Radiohead what do you mean you don't like it you don't like the music but what I'm saying is that it's a little offensive because we would, Tiger Belly would like to promote it and we would like to get involved in the early

start of your career as a musician and you deny let's be honest aren't I too old to be a musician I'm 46 starting as a 46 I'm a little down on myself are you going to the Bacon Brothers because they're going to go no it's who's the Bacon Brothers

Oh they're the Bacon's but they're famous I'm not that famous no I'm not I'm famous but in a very lower level famous like a B level famous if Kevin Bacon's an A there's no divisions well he's got a huge following people go see Kevin Bacon

he was in footloose for God's sakes I know but the thing is that you almost were the Guardians of the Galaxy guy well I did three scenes in the second I know but you were good you in the beginning you could have been Chris Pratt I auditioned for it my point is that I know you did it

that's this one but you had the opportunity okay that doesn't make me famous I could have been a lawyer I didn't become one okay I want everyone to stop right now are you going to fart again? no I'm not going to fart again I like your underwear

and I'm going to say something right now okay is that that literally is so close to being the biggest thing and what I'm saying is that you're still going to have the opportunities and it's going to happen what I'm going to do right now is that you have the talent to do it

you're going to do it I want to say this to everyone in the room and this is a fact what you did was sabotage for not inviting us I'm going to use that against you I didn't invite people I don't care

I find that to be very offensive I'm sorry for that of all the people you know what Bobby Lee is the one guy I'm going to say this too because I still like you you used to love me I love you as much as I did and the thing is

we're all on a journey and we're all we're supposed to be what we're supposed to be I wish we had a close of Bryce's reaction during that speech because he likes my speech it felt like it was

a hockey movie with the little kids Mighty Ducks do you see the picture that mugshot of the kid from Mighty Ducks what happened to him oh my god I got to show you that don't humiliate a man

why what happened to him it made me sad it's like when Dr. Phil brought in what's her name in our show shelly duvall shelly duvall the shining darling

now she's an old lady she has mental issues and he exposed her on her show and tried to capitalize on her dementia what he did was unforgivable she

was a classic film girl and she lost her mind it's like when people Amanda Bynes you let them seek help had a modicum of decency I was in the AA meeting once and there was paparazzi in the bushes

I'm not going to say what celebrity it was but they were taking photos of a guy who was just getting sober and then we ran into the bushes and kicked them and we kicked them out of the fucking thing you used your taekwondo skills let me ask you this

the guy that just took a picture and traded Joe's Jeffery that really upset me this is a guy who's making a living and she recognized him and all of a sudden this is what he's doing all of a sudden working it just broke my heart

not only did it break my heart it makes me want to go I could understand taking the photo if I was in New Jersey and I saw him I would take the photo but I wouldn't post it to ridicule him I would just show my buddies

I would say hey look he's working here now yeah whatever for them, for Fox especially to try to make fun of him but I think that did you see him on Good Morning America? and they gave him a role on NCIS on LA

he's getting work now I like what he said on Good Morning America he's like I want to get the role based on merit I don't want anything offered to me just because of this whole Trader Joe's debacle I want to go in and audition how about this I think about this sometimes

it's the next best thing when you're out in Hollywood it's like this little bubble we live in and it's like people are like what are you doing you always feel like you have to tell them what you're doing oh I'm doing this and I'm doing this so you're something and sometimes they're like

what if Smava was it what if that was it isn't that great isn't that enough why isn't something enough why isn't if you get something you didn't pan out as an actor and he went on to work for whatever reason

what does it matter does that make him better Pauly I mean this is a weird example but people come up to him all the time and go you used to be big and Pauly's response is always like yeah but I got there that's actually really nice

that's really commendable he got there to get to that level I think if somebody said that to me you offended it's like you used to be a star yeah but I'm still more famous than you you fuck

had a fucking talk to people people just have no like what are you doing now you just added some fuels on twitter right it's like when somebody will attack Chris Evans for what because Chris Evans is politically vocal

some guy some hillbilly some guy from the south you're a loser man captain america he doesn't say anything but what I want to say is dude he's doing way

better than you that you know you have no rights he's killing it he's beautiful but that's what it is he doesn't work at cracker barrel it's just a respect

it's a great place but I just bought something from there edit that edit it out you buried yourself you just did the whole trading I don't know you just turned on your own

sweating now stop stop stop stop you're right it's okay to work at cracker barrel but if you're working at cracker barrel don't try to put down somebody that's captain america I don't know working at cracker barrel it's a great deal

a lot of honor there I love cracker barrel it's like the bill hicks joke I love that joke when he goes into denny's he's at a waffle house and he's reading a book that's actually happening why are you reading I read for a lot of things

but one of the main reasons I don't ever become a waffle house waitress it was funny so what I'm saying is it's okay you can't just blindly make fun of somebody that works at either traders or whatever

just respect people but if they cross the line then you can attack them for it how about that I for an eye? yeah and I'm not gonna sit here and go Chris Evans he's the better man I probably wouldn't be the better man

no you would there's no way you could individually say you work here I wouldn't say that but I would have said really dude I haven't succeeded at what I'm doing right maybe you should look in the mirror

I don't know what you do but look in the mirror and see if that was justified see if that makes sense I think you can say that people like it especially your fans and people who love you and know that that guy was an asshole you can say sometimes they like people to be real just say what's on your mind

what's wrong what do we have time you wanna do the questions let's do it anyway my name is Henry and my girlfriend and I have been together hey Henry have been together for some time she's the most sweet beautiful

faithful and pure woman we're both college students and love each other very much well the thing is when we first started dating some time ago she told me that she had a private snapchat where she sent out explicit photos to people who gave her money at first I was cool with it we all need to make some bread and I trust her

she doesn't have any interaction with them it makes it clear that she only intends to sell her service of pictures but now things are different I don't know how I feel about the whole thing anymore I've grown so close to her and have made such great connection that even thinking about her selling pictures makes me sick to my stomach

how should I approach this well first of all you should call yourself Hank it's just cooler and what's her snapchat handle you know what Calyla you're probably dead on there yeah it's like saying

I met this sex worker let's say a porn star love her and I'm really jealous of what she did that's how she made her money before she met you you accepted that about her she was transparent about it you don't get to change her now

all of a sudden since your insecurities are piling on that's not beyond her you can make enough money to like hey I'll give you that money what if she enjoys it what if it's something that's part of her life you can take pride in something like that let's say at the minimum

let's say she's a sex worker she's a cam girl he doesn't get to change that about her how about this how about is your relationship affected hang on do you have a great relationship

is it the same she's faithful she's the best and nothing's changed you're the one who's changed you have an issue with it she hasn't changed probably the sexy what's the problem

they're just photos are you sure they're photos so what she's taking photos of her what if she was putting a piece of poop back in her butt that's what he has a problem that would be the problem if there were dicks going in the vagina

and with no condom I would probably draw the line there I'm sure he's asked her there's nobody in the picture except her I understand that even let's say for instance someone like Asa that's different because she's already doing that

but this girl was already doing that before that's what I'm saying you're right this guy's spilling water it's gonna come out of his nose you gotta chew swallow or spit swallow

you don't chew water I was like every girl's dilemma spit or swallow you go what if she's having dicks in her ass there's nobody else in the room that's just her well I understand that he didn't understand it he clearly

didn't understand it Bobby's so smooth though that transition was so smooth I know I didn't know what I was talking about I didn't know what I was talking about I'm a professional I just I landed a carousel and out of that fucking situation

I understand that no you don't did you see solo? I think we're such used to we're used to not great Star Wars movies that we're like oh this didn't suck my balls it was

it was serviceable it was fine Donald Glover did a great that kid did a great job I'm not saying anything I just thought it was okay I didn't think that he was great let me just say this

he tried to do it he doesn't look like him at all here's the problem to me I'm saying I think he did a great job if I didn't know Han Solo or Harrison Ford but you know what Harrison Ford had that thing and that's something you can replicate

you can replicate little tiny things especially since he was a younger Han Solo things like oh is that what you're telling me well let me tell you you know that thing that he does

there was one in the movie or two where he just went like like a little thing that was Han Solo like oh yeah I'll tell you something there was just that one thing that just made him like well I don't care but there was something that charisma that popped

and I thought maybe it was directorial I thought the movie was entertaining but I just wanted a lot more by the way I'm just like I know everybody hates on Star Wars and I will say this Seth Green told me this name drop I love Seth

but he goes you know I asked one day I asked George Lucas this is what Seth said what was the deal with Jar Jar Binks what was the whole reason behind that but he said it in a nice way and they were talking for a long time they were kind of pals

so you know Jar Jar wasn't created for you it was created for young kids who were seeing the movie sort of like C-3PO was made for you when you were six and that kind of put everything into perspective like

well think about that here's the only thing I say I agree with that and Jar Jar was like I wasn't crazy about the character none of us was like oh we want is some edge we want something that's just not hokey we want something that follows Empire Strikes Back that feel

I know it's hard to replicate but don't you feel like that don't you want something that just is like we don't have to get jokey we don't have a floating princess lay in space we don't have to have like these bad ideas but C-3PO wasn't this bumbling you know annoying

he's an android he's a robot right with a funny little English accent but if a 40 year old guy watched it at that time instead of like it doesn't matter I know I don't agree with that at all because the thing is that also you have to put into play yes we know your audience

your audience you know your audience you're trying to get new audience members which is children but your core audience are those guys that saw it in the 70s that I agree that's the first thing in my head I gotta appease those

and then once I have those checkmarks of people I just like he could I thought JJ did a great job with the first Force Awakens but the second one when Princess Leia was frozen in the thing and she superman's back into the fucking thing

unwatchable it was it was not great there's a guy that does something on the internet where he does like a 20 minute rant I saw it I saw it how funny was that yeah but he called that Asian is that the one where they called Asian a fat Chinese bitch that would have been terrible

no this guy was pretty articulate this guy wasn't like racist yeah people know online people go crazy those youtube videos on that last Jedi and if you look back who was terrible it's not a good movie where can we see your band article

the second one we have another question hey guys my name is Mary and I'm a first year nursing student in Australia I've always suffered the same superiority complex as Bobby superiority maybe somebody else

complex as Bobby I'm literally the most average underachieving person that I know and I have so consciously looked down on people I have no reason Mary's an underachiever and she looks down on people yeah she has a superiority complex

I have no reason to have these feelings towards anyone because who the fuck am I to treat anyone like they're beneath me you sound like that guy who tweeted Bobby yeah I don't have that but even though I can live my life being a caring person or a supportive friend on the inside I honestly don't give a shit about others and their problems

I feel that this indifference is going to be a huge problem in the future so my question is how can I approach this problem knowing that it's not going to easily go away and are there ways to tone down my ego thanks I'll go to behavioral therapy cognitive behavioral therapist

you can find them all over and I went to one like it's getting a lot of the negativity out of your life because it doesn't do you any good it just doesn't and so when you start replacing with positive thoughts and thinking about things and rooting for people and being just being a better human being I think that takes some time but you just can't live that way

your whole life you gotta change that yeah also the superiority complex also ties in with narcissism and at the root of narcissism is a lot of complex insecurities and they're usually is some type of like abuse or abandonment that happen in their childhood so you should speak to somebody about where that really comes

from because I don't think someone I think we're probably like a little classist maybe oh wait maybe but by the way Mary I think you're incredibly brave for just being so honest thank you thank you I mean you are brave for coming on

saying exactly how you you know you perceive yourself seriously if you didn't want to wear that then that'd be really fucked you're aware of it and you want to do something about it it's a shame that you have to ask Bobby why is your lazy cousin in the bathroom

lazy cousin your cousin? I don't know your cousin sit back down lazy cousin if you had to sleep with one of them Kalilah who would it be Brice cause you know you don't know him as well no also he's unfuckable he's handsome as hell

look at his art glasses he's got a handsome face he's got good breath unfuckable but you're right I'm really I'm a lot I'm close to George he's like a brother Gilbert or Brice

oh Brice Gilbert is my little brother brother Brice or Bobby and now fuck Mary kill Gilbert Brice George I would I would marry

George kill Gilbert I would have to just because I can't do anything I can't marry he's like such my little bro it's disgusting either way I would fuck Brice I would dock Gilbert

definitely dock is that what's called docking dock Gilbert put Bobby's poo back in his butt colon dock butt fuck or or blow dock butt fuck or blow Brice Bobby

and Gilbert I'm docking you I might suck Brice's dick I probably I probably fuck George pretty hard too real hard and at the same time I'd say

you're unfuckable while fucking him hard real hard great ending not only that I thought that that podcast was really really good all the way through that was a lot of fun we could probably cut some politics out

I don't want to it was great Romcom 90 minutes and this is the I think he's been on the most this third time is that true? you're our most beloved I love it

honestly I have a lot of fun it ruins my Monday night do you do the other ones like Theo I did Theo's he did mine it's nice because everybody's kind of like doing yeah you fight under the kid you did they didn't invite me that's the next one I'm going to try to get you on

will you get me on that one? yeah I think that'd be great for you they crashed the one with Theo's they crashed into our one what about Joey's Diaz you have to kind of go you should have Michael Rosenbaum on you'll do that?

are you sure Koala won't do that? no I would do it will you come on my podcast again? you know what would be great is this next week I'm pretty much free next week? that would be good the second Burke Kreischer's coming on you know Kreischer?

I love him he's the nicest guy how many times has he done yours? what date is it that? I think it's like October 2nd we're recording are you available then? I'll do it afterwards I'll just show up

during Burt's too just walk in I'll have a mic set up for no reason at all hey look who it is I'll come in like just underwear and a wig? or just underwear with my ass right behind you

that's a good wig give Mikey a round of applause Michael working me to watch you oh yeah inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum on iTunes free and check me out at the Michael Rosenbaum Instagram I'm talking!

and Twitter Michael Rosenbaum check it out guys I'll make sure you check out our Patreon what? Tiger Belly hey Prime members you can listen to Tiger Belly ad free on Amazon Music

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