TigerBelly - Episode 165: Conduits & Connectors

Episode Date: October 24, 2018

Bobo wants a cookie. Khaloko fear-farts. Gilbo accepts an Emmy. George is White Nothing. We talk personality changes over the years, a coyote hunter, and a panic at the ball.Bonus content every Monday: https://www.patreon.com/TigerBellySupport us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly ad-free on Amazon music download the app today Hey Who you gonna call who goes the best Yeah, let's go the bus that that's all I'm singing like he doesn't Are we starting do the countdown five go three What if you're on the street on the neighborhood Who you gonna call who goes the bus? Welcome to another episode of Tiger Belly and

We've got the regular crew here. We got the un-fuckable one White nothing The un-fuckable one white nothing George, whatever his middle name is Oh Okay, that's a new revelation. I didn't learn that George Thomas Camel Camel To my left is on my Entitled

Disrespectful, I think he's talking about me. Yeah. Yeah far left around far left fuckface saboteur of all disgraced people Right you That's all you get right now. Why so why so much you okay? We'll get that into that in a second. Uh-huh, and we got my beautiful Kalila who's not even Not even ready to even go but we're gonna go um

How was the um so um our friend Gilbert here went to a hello Aloha, Aloha We went to Hawaii to do some sort of festival. Yeah, tell us about it. I did a small Oh interesting. It's very tiny sketch comedy festival only four groups performed and It's it's a Filipino Sketch comedy festival. No, just a Hawaiian so they don't have a community out there So they brought people from the States the mainland brought a over to do it wait So it's isn't Hawaii. It's a Hawaiian sketch group or festival. Yeah, so they're mostly sketch guys from Hawaii

Some but they I think they pulled us from LA because they don't have enough people, right? So you what group did you go with? Filipino AF and you have that's your group I'm part of the group. Yeah, you're a part of how many people are in the Filipino AF? I think they've had over 50 people, but they it's a variety show. So they switch it out. They switch it out Yeah, who are the main top guys on it? I Don't know okay

Um, that's not really why I'm asking anyway, so let's get to the thing. Yeah small talk I'm trying. It's it's right up. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo brother. Let me see something right now. Um, so when you You know, I'm gonna just let you know. I'll just throw it out there right now, dude. Um Um, I feel like I gave you your start You did No, I'm taking all credit. You have the talent when you're fat Gilbert sings those little commercial tunes in Chicago Let's not remind people about I am gonna write you do a little roly-poly comedy over there. You know, I'm really

Hey, that's cool. You know And then, you know, you come here at the maniac. Well, I met you at the Manny Pacquiao Right, right. And I go, who's that little whimsical fuck that fairy and Kalala go. Oh, he's great. His name is Gilbert Can he help us? We got you in we got you a little following here through the tiger belly Um, I try to give you a mad tv audition. You went into that. Yeah, that's fun. Um, you make a little bit money on this podcast Do you not yeah, right? You don't have a day job really Or anything. No. Yeah. Yeah Um, can I get a Hawaiian cookie?

I got you a Hawaiian. No, no, no, you don't go to Hawaii Show up at my house With empty-handed No, you're right. I made a mistake. It's not just a mistake. It's it's you know, there's no consequences to you Because you're entitled. You're not gonna feel any effects of any kind of consequences as it is Because you're above it. No, you don't feel so sad No, you don't. Yeah, I'm so sad. That's not sadness. All right, and I that's not that all right I'm so sad. All right, whatever. Yeah, okay. I'm just letting you know it hurts

But it burns. Can I help that burn? Can I help it burns in my butthole for some reason and my heart? Yeah, can I help that 60 percent bottle 40 percent heart? Okay. Well, can I make it less burn? I'm gonna know no the only way you can make it up to me The only way you can is the next time you go out of the country or to a different exotic land Yeah, you got to bring me back something substantial Okay, not cookies this time though It's got to be like, oh no the fucking One of the Hawaiian kings carved this out of limestone. I gotta find a fucking Polynesian. Yeah. Yeah

You couldn't even get him one of those like 99 cent chocolates with a macadamia. He doesn't deserve it I got him the Hawaiian cookies. No, but what is the Hawaiian cookie company the the the tan the green tins Is it the Hawaiian cookie company? Yeah, I love all of Moana mall Yeah What I want also is I've always wanted one of those hula dashboard The figure for the car for the car. Yeah, I don't even know if they sell us in hawaii. They do fuckface I think they sell them here, babe. They sell them here as well, but I want a Hawaiian one Okay from hawaii from hawaii, but I have a better gift. What is it that you we talked about it before this

What is it? And I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna say it on air If I ever get nominated for a BAFTA or an emmy, I don't want BAFTA. Okay fine emmy It's got to be emmy. What about team choice awards? I feel like that's more doable for me Look, let's be honest. I'm probably gonna get a team choice award if not if it's not the emmy's Then nothing Okay, or oscar obviously You're never gonna win an oscar. Hey, you never know. Okay, you might But you might doesn't matter anything above emmy. Yeah, the first name. I have to say I can't say thank you

I can't say god. I can't see all right. So let's let's we play this. Okay, right? So For best supporting actor for the movie Gooks are us Right Is it a comedy? Is it a comedy? I don't know even you Brian tees sun kang Gilbert galon Right ken jung let's suppose right and the winner is gilbert galon

This is gilbert galon's first oscar All right, so everyone plots. Okay, go Bobby Bobby lee Wow If you're asian out there, you think you're you're here because of yourself Do you think you're here because of your talent? Yeah Sure, there was market show. She's great. Yeah got that out cut that cut her out of it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah

Sure. There was that american girl show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah do that All of you look at yourself. Yes. Now look at me. Look what i'm holding. Yes Who's the first asian american on network ta-ta-tay vay? Not me, but It wasn't me. We weren't alive. Bobby lee. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There we go. Thank god and my parents and kalala and george. Love you all No, they are they're out. I can't say They gotta be out. Can I even say tiger belly? You can say kalala if you say george He's gonna die. I'll kill him. What if I say shout out the king failure

There's no need for this brand. Yeah, I don't I don't like I'm gonna say something very fucking can I just say something about this guy george? Why would he you know, he has notebooks, right? He has like notes. He has all these things Gives a producer, right? Don't say anything until I finish. Okay. Do you promise back up george back up So we so he sets up this like production meeting to pitch to a production company, right? I don't know anything about it. I wake up kalala goes wake up You have to go to this pitch meeting at a company. I go. What I don't want to go You told george you would go and it's with like the high up guy, right? He's the president one of the right So I go, oh

Well, do I drive there she goes? No, he's gonna pick you up He meets me up front And we drive to the fucking place. Okay, and I go, what are we pitching? He's like I got some pitches Oh My god, one of them was the first one was mediocre at best. Okay. The second and third one We're not even this is what what they would be there. Don't don't don't do that to him. No, no Don't do that to him, sweetie. Do what Don't like the first one was great. The first one was great. I pitched the first one

I know it's good because he's saying I pitched the first one. Was that the first one the game show? No, no, no. It was something else the first one. Like that has some legs. It's not there yet. Yeah, but it's something But the second and third one. Oh my god Well, there's a stage And you're there and there's people there and you guys do crazy things You know And I go what? He goes, yeah, I mean it's like every week is different

But it's crazy with your friend. How does he talk? That's what he sounds like to me, right? I go George. You can't pitch that. We'll get kicked out of the fucking room. Okay. How about this one? You and your friends you guys go wild Are we just changing out the adjectives? I'm not kidding you now. I don't know specifically what they were Rambang shit. They were generally like that And I would then all of a sudden I'm in the car sweating We gotta what are we gonna do? We're fucked

So I then I go I go to George. I go just follow my lead Right, you don't pitch any pitch the first one. All right, but you just sit there So we go into this the nice office where there's like a long table The guy comes out and with his assistant. We know the assistant. What's his name? Russell Ford. I love that guy. I love Russell. I love Russell And um, we got out of there, you know, okay, I thought this is where it gets a little bit fucked up though Yeah, and then it's because I pitched on something. No, can I kind of just hold on? Bobby comes home Yeah, Bobby comes home. I haven't even gotten my rebuttal yet. Keep stressing me out with your face already

He comes home and I was like, oh, did you guys pitch the game show? They're like, no, he's like, no, but we pitched something else. I was like, well, what did you pitch? You know the thing about me being handcuffed is so and so I was like, you mean my idea You guys pitched my idea and I wasn't even in the room. I just say something ether You fucking you sabotage me, baby because you brought me in a room with this fucking jackass. Right? No, you're not gonna get a real butt Start your own podcast pal. Start your own fucking podcast pal. All right. Let me something somewhere. Okay You put me in a fucking corporate room with this fucking jackass, right? Right, and I and then I have to fucking defend for myself. I'm stealing ideas

What did it have to be mine is we came up to good together. We did. Let's be honest, okay Let's be let's be honest. Also. Shouldn't I have been in that room if you're pitching our idea? Yeah, let me say this let's be another honest. They like that idea and they might do it and you'll become a producer All right, so there's that but do you have anything? I don't want to say anything Yeah, you want okay. You want to say something? I want to hear a little bit. Yeah, go ahead Okay, number one I uh, we were supposed to meet on thursday night So we could go over these ideas because the man who's gonna pitch him the man who's gonna sell him is you the king

I'm just a lowly Connector, you know, I can corroborate this. So that's what that would I want it and you write down connector I don't I don't forget that because that's ridiculous. Go ahead connecting you ravi. Yeah, yeah Number two the idea that you made fun of so much the idea you made fun of so much you're like Oh, it's like a korean game show, but like what did they do? It's just like different things like crazy things, huh? I love that idea you went in the room and you were like Oh, yeah, and then like you just like started riffing on other ideas. You were like, oh, yeah

And then I had this idea I was trying to do with the joe koi joe koi, but that was just a Japanese game show Yeah, but it was it was exactly the same thing as my Japanese instead of korean Except japanese instead of korean and everybody was like, okay. Oh, yeah, that's a great idea. You and joe koi in a japanese game show Okay, okay. Okay. Stop. Will you stop stop? I would like to say one thing though Yeah, I will say that george's idea of the game show. He's gonna be so angry right now and it is really good Okay, stop. Okay. You maybe just didn't understand it. No, I Okay, let me say this to you friend my girlfriend. All right. I understand every single thing that's going on right now Okay, I'm a fucking conduit for fucking knowledge, but he's a connect. I absorb it

He's a connector. What the fuck does that even mean? Conduits or overconnectors Let me say something right now, dude. You're not a connector. Okay, you know what you are an appendage That's good. I I dead one. I dead one. Okay. Well one that doesn't work. There's one. I mean, let me finish Always be with you. Okay. Can I say something? Oh, so secondly, okay The reason why through the joe koi is because I was stuck right and in my head I'm like joe still wants to do this Game show idea and I knew that I didn't have the pitch down, but I threw his name in there

To create some sort of excitement juices, right some juices. So that's the only reason why I did that. Okay, and thirdly, right? um The idea that they liked is the one the kai line and I came out with okay, let me say something also Thanks for coming with me. I really do enjoyed the car rides we had and then afterwards we had katsudon It was a good lunch and I enjoyed myself. Okay. Sorry for attacking you Okay, I'm sorry for attacking you. All right, because I saw it in your face. You were hurt a little bit and um You know, I don't think that he's hurt. George has the thickest skin out of anyone I've ever known He gets abused by him

You know another thing I will corroborate the fact that For three days leading up to that meeting he texted me multiple times and I could not get through to you And remember and you were like give me ideas give me ideas so we can like put it together And he was just not in the correct headspace to give anything back to me. Therefore. I couldn't give anything to you All good. All good. So yeah My hands were tied, but I'm glad that you pitched my idea behind my back That's gonna be a hit. No, let me say something. He will not be a producer. It's gonna be a hit

Um, I need producer credit. So Kalyla and I also have been watching a show on Netflix and we're not gonna give away spoilers But the show is really strong What's it called the haunting? I forgot what it was about the haunting of house of hill house the haunting of hill house. He told us about it. Okay, so I'm gonna I don't want to give away anything. It basically it's it's a haunted house. You know, that's the I guess The surface general prime premise But it really is a family drama. I like it hereditary. I like because of the fact that It revolved around a family and it was falling apart this family

It has the same kind of tone. I guess. Yeah, it's really thought out. You really feel for this family It goes back from the past to the present Um, it's masterfully directed I mean this guy Mike Flanigan Flanigan. Yeah. Yeah, is that his name? Yeah, I don't know what this guy What school he went to but there's there's in this episode six episode six There's a shot in there. It's like a 10 minute non-cut shot of them just acting It's so brilliantly done. I might I might have to see it again tonight

It's that good and Kalyla in the seventh episode. We're not gonna tell you what it is eight eighth episode Kalyla and I screamed at a part. Yes, it was a jump scare Right, but I had never in my whole entire life had been That scared of my life. Have you okay? I screamed so loud That two things happen. I farted simultaneously. Yeah, she did and I threw my hamstring out I cram my hamstring cramped up at the same time And so we had to pause because I had the worst Charlie. This is what she did. Essentially. Okay. Ah Essentially that's what war zone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly what happened. Yeah. Yeah

My leg and I go I push pause And oh and it I can't give away any spoilers because I really need people to watch the show and now You know what you might think? I don't think it's that scary or You know, I mean there there are a lot of like what the fuck, you know, why is that or this and you might have problems with it But at the end of the day you know to be a a tv show a weekly show and to Get people to like get hooked on a horror haunted house show

It's very difficult to do and they they have me hooked. I really think You know at least some of these actors E.T. Is in it You know Elliott from E.T. Yeah, Henry Thomas is in it Um, Timothy Hutton Timothy Hutton's in it the guy who plays um, he's in a lot of things but he's um Oh god, what's uh in game of thrones? The guy, uh, he's a British actor. He plays Dario. Nahar Dario Oh the second Dario, not the first one. Hmm. He had the second Dario replacement. Yeah, the replacement Dario

And then there's a guy in there who is plays like the youngest son. What's his name? Luke. Yeah, I know Luke, but what's his actor thing something something something something. Um Oliver stone. Yeah, this guy is So good. I mean everyone in the show Is absolutely amazing. Um, so I highly recommend it. It's a fun show. I can't get myself to watch. Um making a murderer part two Why? Uh, I think listen if I if I had heard For some reason if I had heard The Steven Avery

And his nephew were out of prison I would really want to watch watch it because then I could see You know it unfold And then we get our relief, you know, it's like You know when you're watching like, um Game of thrones and I keep saying to you it's like if I don't get Some sort of episode where there's some sort of Happiness or some sort of relief like oh

Aria, you know, it's back together with her sister. Yeah, and then you get that feeling of like, okay I went through rape All this stuff, but finally I get a little reprieve And I get to see something that I want to see Right With making a murder too if they're not fucking out of prison I'm not gonna see it. Yeah, but I think it's more to it than that. I think that you you know The judicial the judicial system works so slow in that way and it is such a high profile case now

Yeah, I don't think things Things will move as fast as you want them to but I hear that Kathleen Zellner makes it a really compelling series because she even points out the mistakes of his previous lawyers It's her own beauty and the other guy um, and I hear she is just cold And I see an amazing. Yeah

Well, I know I I knew about her when after making a murder right we looked her up right we we googled The previous cases. She's the best in the business. Yeah, I don't that's that's still not enough for me I also hear in the last episode there is something of sort of a bombshell that she drops in terms of who She thinks did it Okay, still Again, again, is he are they still rotting in prison? I don't know. So that's my point is is that I can't watch them until

Elise Brendon dasi gets out That poor kid If you haven't seen making a murder on netflix You're um, you're just out of sync man You know, I don't want to make fun of you, you know, but there are just certain things culturally It's like when you ask a kid you know Name me

Back in the like you what's the vietnam war if no one knows what that is I went on a date with a girl that didn't know what that was. We talked about it with her ruin brothers Yeah, yeah, they don't know what it is and what they don't know what it is You just kind of go. Oh, well that you're not you don't live on planet earth That's all But what if she's an amazing person and you just need her to brush up? So anyway today, um, also something great happened. What happened? We cut off the lila. That's okay. I used to it. No, what happened nothing

That's nothing. I swear nothing. Okay. I cut her off No, george just thought it was funny. Yeah, okay. Well, it's fine rich wallet rich wallet. We love it We love Yeah, is something to say, babe Today uh, Julio stop it. So so last week I get a call from Anna Ferriss's people they she wants me to do her podcast so cool and I was a little nervous because I've only had two instances where I You know where I uh

Met her where I worked with her. I worked with her at mad tv. She did a couple sketches with us And also I worked with her on the dictator That week that I was there we talked about on her podcast Because that movie was so high profile I really didn't know who to hang out with on set Because it's like banking my scenes were with bankings and all these all these like dignitaries like older actors Ed Norton. Yeah, but that was he was only one day I'm talking about there were all the other like character actors that were like 60 that were playing like politicians

And I'm sitting there in this like un thing And like all day long while Sasha's doing his little monologue and I was just like, I don't know who To talk to and every once in a while Anna would show up Anna and she would like either like slap me or you know me tickle me or she was like really just Fun, right? And so when I saw her today, dude, we two hours of just a crazy ass podcast She's really good And I really I just really like her, you know, and then I called Bobby and then she got on the phone. That was a Yeah, yeah

Yeah, it's just um, you know this this world Where we're at right now And Joe Rogan has told me this he told me this last couple weeks ago Um, Rogan goes, why are you on that TV show? And I go, I don't know. I mean you did it he's like, but I know but You're on a good podcast Your podcast is eclectic. Are you saying

Good things about it. He goes you and you have an audience that likes you That's it. That's what that's the pinnacle of what we should be doing And I'm like, you know, you never think of it that way You never think about that the people are listening right now is our true fans They they do love us and we should put every ounce of love and integrity into these episodes integrity, are you sure about that choice of word? Yeah, we're not really people of integrity I don't know what it means, but I've heard it said in like TV and it sounds good. It sounds good, right Yeah, it you know, yeah integrity doesn't have necessarily have to be like

Clean or it has nothing to do with morals or values We have to be in um, it has to do with what our Sensibilities are and to be true to our sensibilities that we do this show In earnest, which we do it every week. Yeah, we do which is a number we make the You know, we have guests lined up and then we put in the full effort. We put in on full effort full thoughts Yeah, we get um We we we've done some trial and error episodes. We've learned Uh, we we've turned some of the employees here like Gilbert into fucking complete and utter fucking assholes

Who don't who don't give a fuck about the hand that feeds him. We should talk about that right now Yeah, look at this. Look at look at the rebellion. Look at look at what he's doing right now You fucking fuck. All right, since the beginning of this one. What are you gonna do pinky baby? Oh, yeah, this dog's been humping my leg good five minutes, and then it just got neutered hulu Yeah, hulu's been fucking humping this whole dick comes out. No, it doesn't it does and then he bites my pant leg If I don't let him hump my legs Typical male. Nothing's gonna come out. I'm satisfied with my life So out of um out of the three of us since the um beginning of this podcast

Who do you think has changed the most in terms of their um, you know Their divaness. Well, can I just say this rank us rank us? I'm gonna rank you guys and the thing is is that I don't want anyone to take offense Okay, all right, so everyone don't take offense, but it's so easy. It's gonna be me. No, it's so easy It's so easy and this is the and also everyone in the room All four of you. This is literally the honest my honest belief I'm not saying this for comedy. I'm saying it because this is what I truly believe number one

Changed gilbert number two george number three Kalilah and number four You're pretty constant. Are you sure about that? Yeah, because I know me and I I know I haven't changed since this thing I've changed because of the show. Maybe I will say that yes gilbert has changed the most but in all the positive ways. Whoa. I truly think you've

Really morphed into a far better version of yourself when we first started. Oh, thank you more sincere more honest more Brotherly more everything like he isn't trying to be anybody anymore. He just is gilb Yeah, I was very nervous around you guys beginning. Yeah, because I felt like I didn't press I think we all had to impress each other at some point. Just get a little bit of that nervousness back I'm still nervous. I'm getting near not that that speech even when even I've noticed this too. Fucking fuckner I'm fucked. Yeah, fuckner I'm gonna tell you this about you. Fuckner. All right. Is that a lot of times I'll walk in here with a guest and I know It's a guest. That's like pretty cool, right? Yeah, I remember walking it with navarro. That was crazy

I know but in your face and the way you held yourself was like, yeah I'm gilbert Yeah, I have to do the same too Like even getting on a phone with on a ferris today. It was like be cool. Be cool. Like I was like I don't want to make him feel like my throat. Yeah, you know Yeah, it is weird though. If you don't do what he does, which is like try to just keep it calm and cool Yeah, you know Eric stone street. I feel like he was like, okay, relax, dude. Because I was like I was like, oh, it's just so straight. I went to chicago, too

So like for dave, I was like just say cool. Did you want our high school? You grew up watching him on tv I just knew too. You know what? You're right. You know, I you know, I'm just getting mad because I didn't get the cookies I and I really that's what that's why all this is coming out. I think this weird resentment But who really but who really changed? I well, you we know who really has changed we do we know But we don't want to say it out loud, right because um He won't it won't get through to him. Anyway, yeah, george Yeah, how many followers you got these days? Let me say something right now, dude

And I've talked about this before when I first met you at maker studios We I was when um the owners of maker, right? come on down You know lisa nova, you know, she's a friend of mine And she she goes here's an array of producers that you can choose from I wanted. What's her name talia? What's her name? talia terrica terrica I wanted terrica She's great. There was a couple of other ones, but this guy keeps raising his hand

Like I want to do it. I don't want the alpino southerner Yeah, yeah, like pinky. I don't want him the white man. Yeah, there's nothing about him, right? And as months went on He kept showing up to things He kept being involved and in my head. I'm like, oh, this guy's either like gonna kill me Or he's a huge fan But at the end of the day He was the one that stuck by me

All right, but at that time you should have seen what he was wearing He's gonna be dressed. He's dressed as good now. Okay now. He tried at least he tries I was but before it was the environment dog It was like literally gap jeans, but not the cool Japanese kind the stuff that you would get like 12 years ago I would like the white whatever that's what they look like. Okay You were wearing um, like kind of like button up Stripe shirts. I don't remember right and your hair wasn't good And you were you I literally thought to my head in my head

I bet you money because he hasn't ejaculated inside a woman Ever that the workings in his dick is like clogged up or there's like it just doesn't work properly But I could I would have bet my life on it. Oh, I was doing so much better back then So much better. You know what like we take a break because will you? 15 minutes just I think George's legs are bleeding through his pants Julio has there's a lot of a dog calm and blood. He's just been fucking this shit out of george

Yeah, let it happen. Just let it happen. We're not stopping. We're not stopping. We're not stopping. Keep going Julio Yeah, yeah Keep going just let him do it. Just let him do it. Let him do it. He's horny Okay, but you know what dude You know what dude You know what I like about how you've changed when I first met you you were very um Mum and neutral Now you give your opinion

Straight to me you got edge. Yeah, and you before I think or maybe we just didn't know each other very well I think you just kind of like felt the need to stay neutral And now you shoot just straight fire at my soul and you hurt my feelings, which I really appreciate Do you know what I mean? Like I don't appreciate that like I don't like people who don't tell me exactly how it is And here's another here's another Clue that I'm beginning to like you more. What is one of the clues? Do you think? You talk to me? That's a good. That's you're getting close. You're getting close. Oh phone calls. Yes I don't give phone calls. Do I call you now?

Uh, usually when you need something but there was the one time the one phone call just to chat I You called them uh, uh the asians at the laugh factory. What was the name of that show? Yeah, loud asians or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, and after that when you called me to chat I was at the uh me and brice were we're at the saddle ranch We were trying to hit on ladies But you called I walked outside to chat with you and we chatted for a good 15 minutes and it touched me

Wow, wow, you're welcome You're welcome, but that's how I know that I'm warming up to you and I've known you for years now I really do love you, dude. I mean, let's be honest. I do I must because You know, you're a part of this thing and I know you're working on Is that that I have to it's just that I just I feel like this tiger Billy would be nothing without you I believe that 100 yeah George is the spinal cord. Yeah, I mean I could branch off, you know and figure it out, but um, who has the time Who has the time who has the time yeah

Um, I'm gonna say something that happened to me Friday and it was the most embarrassing thing It was I I've never I've never panicked as much as I I haven't told you this So Lindsay Price She calls me a month ago She goes me and Curtis are doing this benefit and it's to help Adoption it's it's a good cause It's called baby ball

right and I mean my head I'm like I'll go I have to she asked she's she's my tv wife But like weeks go by she emails me a thousand things I don't respond and the one that she goes Is there any way you could do um, what do you call it give it a We're doing a something for auction an auction we're auctioning and we want to auction Free tickets to the comedy store and people um hanging out with you all night. Yeah

Okay. Yeah, you can do that. I guess easy So then Friday comes around and I don't know what it is this baby ball But I show up two hours late where she's texting me Are you coming? Right. So I show up in a Hawaiian shirt, right fucked up jeans Sandals and I walk into this thing and everyone's in like tuxedos that kind of ball Yeah, I don't know what a ball meant like a gala. Yeah, I should have googled ball Because I thought a ball meant like, you know, just people hanging out. Yeah. Yeah

Have him bite that so I show up and it's A probably 700 people six 700 people. Oh, this is big. Yeah, and then I'm looking around I go Oh There's the president of ABC Oh There's executives at NBC Oh There's then I look at the one two seats open in the whole thing

One of them says kalilah. She's not with me Right and the other has my name on it. Okay. Well, hold on. Okay. I'll just defend the fact that I'm not there You're not there. I'm not there because you weren't there though. No, I know but you also told me the day before Yeah, and then a friend went into labor the next day Right. Okay, go ahead. That was pretty good. So you were really supporting me. That was pretty good. That was pretty good That's pretty good. That's why you didn't want her to say Yeah, go ahead. That's pretty good. Yeah Pretty good reason. Go ahead. Yeah, it's pretty good

But you're all the way in the front. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let me just sit sit on your your thing. All right. Okay. Let's move on So I sit down and I'm next to jenna fisher And she's like, um, so, um, why where were you? I go, I don't know. It's going to be like this, right? And then all of a sudden the the host goes up and he describes that this You know the um charity the foundation And people are crying in the audience. Tell them what they do. What they do is, um, I don't know the statistics or any

But I could just repeat generally what it is. It's basically about adopting right and if If it shows the kids that go through foster system in this country, how expensive it is to adopt No, it's expensive Foster like when we put kids through the system, right? And when they get older, you know, I mean most of them go end up prostituting themselves or an up in drugs or and all the money as a society that we pay You mean when kids are going through that system and it's millions and millions of kids Right and this guy who's talking forgot his name, but he He grew up in a house where his mom just fostered like 20 kids and adopted a bunch and they're all killing it in life

They're doctors. I mean, they're killing it, right? And and they showed a video where everyone's crying It shows an example of what it's done to american families adoption And what these kids how great it is for these kids specifically they do though is they raise because it is a the adoption process Is very costly for families. Yeah, basically it it They raise money so that people who can't otherwise adopt children Can now adopt children because you basically have to be pretty well off to to be approved to adopt kids, right? Yeah, but what if you're just let's say like, you know

You know lower middle class, right and you want to adopt a kid. Yeah, and now you have a way to do that They raise money for to pay for those adoption fees and things like that. Is that what it is? Yeah, it's an amazing thing that they do And I literally was like Number one in my head. I'm like, I should have gotten a tuxedo And number two I'm like, yeah In like number two. I'm like, I have no money on me. You know, it's like these things

So then, you know, they do the video people crying and imagine this now Curtis stone and I want to say this about Lindsay Price and Curtis stone They're they're just good people At the end of the day, they put their heart. They, you know, they're in service and this is a great thing. Okay So Curtis goes up there and he goes, okay, so we're auctioning off, you know a night at any of my restaurants, right? And you get like six restaurants and then you get a tour of the kitchen and you get to hang out with us and this and that and it, you know, his restaurants are

The best restaurants you could ever go to, right? I mean, if you if you go to one of his restaurants, you're gonna drop at least two three hundred bucks Right if you're going on a date when you're right So then like the bid starts at a thousand for like six restaurants and I'm like, okay So and everyone's applauding Curtis Yeah, you know what I mean And then I'm just sitting there. I'm like in my head up because I have a spot in 40 minutes So I'm like, how do I and as I'm thinking this all of a sudden I hear this and next Bobby Lee

on stage And I look at Jenna And I go, what did he say? Because you gotta go up on stage I go, what for? I don't know what to do. What am I gonna say? Right Bobby Lee, he points at me Right the whole I know I imagine everyone. I mean, you know people that could ruin me that work. But yeah are in the audience

And so I go, I don't even know how to get on the stage So then I Curtis is already still on there. So I do a thing. Maybe this will get a laugh, right? Trying to like in my head Maybe this will get a laugh, right So I go Curtis help me up on this You're right when obviously I know where the stairs are now But I do this thing where he struggles, right? And I'm trying to barely get out and fall slipping

It's dying No, you know silence It's silence, right? So I get up there and Curtis is like blushing Right and I'm just kind of you know in my Hawaiian shirt You know I mean slippers, you know And I'm smiling and you could hear people mumbling You know what I mean? What the fuck, right? And so the host guy goes, so what are you watching of? I go And I look up I have to read

The thing that's even on the screen Because I don't even know exactly what it is. Oh, you get a night with me. Oh, yeah free drinks Um, I give you tour of the club at the comedy store uh All right, let's Actually you guys want auction off And the guy's like, yeah auction I go. All right, we're gonna start with 50 And the guy goes no a thousand so he interrupts me. I say a 50 and you know, it's a thousand and I turn over go

a thousand No, what's gonna go there for a thousand? I like start saying that to him taking his 25 He costs 20 bucks to get in the fucking thing. This is on you're doing this. Yeah, I'm like swispering at him. Yeah panicking, right? No, he goes. No, it's a thousand. We all start with a thousand, right? And no one bids Silent Like a thousand

nothing And this is this is why and I thanked her today From the middle of the room. I hear I see a little white hand go up. She goes all bad thousand jenna fischer Oh Jenna fischer because I work with her Fucking saved me And when I saw her today, I looked her right in the little eyes

She's not asian. I don't know why I said that her big eyes and I said um Her big white big white wholesome americana eyes Right with a foundation of values and virtue. Yeah, right? And I said, thank you so fucking much Because if you hadn't done that because then what happened was when she did that And a crazy. Oh not a crazy a nice asian lady

Because I'll take 2000 Right and they kind of you know But boy man, that was embarrassing and then I after that I got off no one clapped and I ran out of there like a fucking animal I went went to the left and I just ran out Thinking that was going to get a laugh at me maniacally running out No, nothing nothing. What is this crowd and I just got in my car and drove away, you know It's very niche comic. Very very nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. You can't do jokes, right?

Really they know who you like no one knows who I am Nobody knows the in that environment and imagine like, you know, also, you don't okay Even if I did jokes, right? And I started tanking To me in my head. I'm like, it's it's better to just do subtle shit Right. So maybe some physical things that maybe you know, I mean awkward stuff And then you could make it seem like I wasn't trying And then you can get out of it But man those social situations, I fucking hate it man. My heart's beating from it

And um, I think these episodes are getting pretty good last couple of months, huh? These episodes are episodes. Yeah. Yeah, you think about you think about the tv show, right? We've had guests back to back to back to back. So this is such a it feels um Kind of cool in here right now. Yeah, it does feel good. It feels it does feel good with you guys. Yeah, you know, I um I feel like I've been talking a lot though. Have I no you're doing just fine. You always talk a lot That's I know, but that's another thing is some people think that maybe I talk too much Will's is gonna talk who says Let me tell you about my gala. I had was invited to by celebrities

I don't have we don't have those fancy stories like you the only the only story I have to tell was that I went to A fucking baby shower. Yeah, she went to Vegas. Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah And that was fun. What happened? That's my story. Oh the Dodgers one are going to the world series. Oh, yeah Hot takes a Bobby. What do you think about the Dodgers? I'm a new fan. Oh, he's a believer. I thought let me say something Okay, I literally thought that they should do away with that sport for years But you hate baseball because if you look at the premise of it and you you you know, you if I'm at an airport I see it on the screen You just kind of go that's still on

Who watches that it's like a CD after UFC and all these combat sports and But then here's the thing dude Because I've been watching and I watched the last year too a little bit But this year especially I get I get it I get why people sit there for seven hours Through the inning after inning it's there's not a lot of action Right

But you get there is like Here's the thing you want to know like if you see a soccer match you want to know That it's just not the some random thing. We're just that they have a plan In soccer there are plans. We're going to tighten up my midfield, right? We're going to defend and we're going to counterattack If that's the thing or we're going to we're going to do a You know two five three formation and we're going to attack Right. They're just different things. We're you know, we're playing against, you know, PSG

We're going to cover Nymar And there's different things, right? And then baseball thought it was like, no, you just hit it and then I hit it And then yeah, and we'll just see who can hit it the farthest But it's not like that It's you know about switching out your fucking Pitches Having a good bullpen for pitches, right? Right. I found out about the blind guy

Orias. Yeah, Orias. You know, there's a guy with no wine He's not blind, sweetie. He's a fucking amazing. He has no wine guy No, he lost he Julio Urias is a dodger pitcher And when he was younger, he had a benign tumor in his eye that needed to be removed. So it Um, it Kind of made his eye a lot smaller and one of it works It it works. I mean he throws wait, wait, wait. He has two eyes that work I don't know how well the other eye works, but it does work. I don't know. I think so

You know, I think it does. Oh, that was completely blind. Well, if it works and fuck that guy I thought he was a guy that didn't work. I'm like this guy's a fucking genius. He's a phenom. He is still a phenom. Okay Okay, okay I know but what I'm saying is is that If let's suppose, you know, I was a composer Right and my right ear You could see there's no lobe or anything. It's just a hole Mm-hmm. It looks infected and people would think oh, man that composer

He can't hear out of his right eye here But if I could hear perfectly fine, then who it's a big deal I don't think he can see perfectly out that eye because one time one of his interviews. He said Um, god gave me one bad eye But a good left arm Yeah, or something to that effect. Is he a lefty george? I don't know. I don't think so. Yeah, but anyway of that guy. I like that guy Well, so as maybe who you know now from the Dodgers, uh, Machado, maybe we just got him. But yes, I like him. Yeah, right

Um, the Puerto Rican. This is the home run The Puerto Rican. Yeah, he's his name. He's the home run. That's he's not Puerto Rican. Pueg. Yeah, Pueg. Yeah He's Puerto Rican Dominican. No Dominican. He's Cuban. Well same thing Right island same ocean Come on. That was close. Okay. Yeah, all right. That's pretty close. Yeah, uh, I like the orange guy Turner Justin. Yeah with the pretty orange beard. I like him a lot. Um, I just like I like her Shaw Yeah, but I'll tell you why I like the Dodgers It was because I've been reading stuff online

And people hate them And I can see you know me like when they were booing Machado. Yeah the Brewers I like I like the way he looked. Yeah, like I don't give a fuck. Yeah, right? Yeah, he's dirty like I'll you know, I'll run on your ankle I'm not getting in trouble. I like the guys like that. You got in trouble. You'll find 10k And then when puke when puke hit it, I love you puke when puke hit it, right? And he started going boy, uh, boy, uh, with his dick, you know what I mean? Yeah, right and just rubbing in their fucking faces like that's what I did that when I was watching it

I was going boy, uh, boy In their fucking stupid fucking wisconsin cheesehead fucking face No celebrity. No celebrities in the audience Come on to support you Yeah, you go to chicago bill Murray He's in the audience. You're right wisconsin. What do you got there? Joe Yeah, a rat

Come on. Come on. I mean good people though. Love them. I love wisconsin Great city, man. You guys had Dahmer did his business in that state you get um The first one in the 50s. What was that? Historic killer ed gain. Yeah, that's what you know. I love a good cheese too great band garbage is a good band And um, it's a great. It's a great state. I apologize I'm just brewers fans were Really good that stadium sounded really loud loud when they booed machado. It got to his head

And it was it was also okay. I'll be honest wisconsin When we won that last game it did make me feel bad for you guys Because I I know that you guys were supposed to be the winners. Yeah, Dodgers weren't even supposed to make it past the Rockies but you know, um You know, um LA is just a better city. Come on We got celebrities. Come on. We got a lot of celebrities Sometimes I feel like LA

Like for sure LA like Dodger fans are the best LA sports fans in my opinion They're not fair weathered fans. I think that Laker fans are fair weather. Yeah, I think clipper fans are I think rams fans are Um, the Dodger fans are pretty hard. They will fill up Chavez ravine no matter what win or lose shitty season They're always there. It's like yeah, and I really like that. Yeah Yeah, I also like, you know, I I love that it's rooted in some sort of uh a Hispanic vibe Yeah, hell, yeah, right that that that it's it's got like Cholos, you know and stuff that that that follow them. It's a part of also their culture

The Dodgers, you know, that's what I like about it. Also. That's why I liked about the Oakland Oakland Raiders as well They're just in there's there's a deep family traditional thing And there's like oozes at the end of them too, you know, who sees Oh What you said? Yeah You know, I think I think the Chargers are gonna go back to San Diego They're dying something else. The rams are here. I don't know why they're dying other team here

I know right so weird and then I heard another rumor that wait the Raiders are going to vegas, right? I heard another rumor that there was gonna be a switcheroo That somehow the Raiders were gonna find their way back here And that the Chargers would be gone forever to that effect. That could be that could happen I don't know. I just heard it over the weekend. What it was a drop on Whatever they leave San Diego that they're part of our cultures the Chargers. They think it was a money thing I don't think that it was doing well. Yeah, but look at them now. I know. Well, we'll see I don't know anything. I don't follow football like that

I just generally know who wins and then I get on with my life. I don't I don't have a team even Yeah, I think just for me What I like also about baseball is that it's a Family traditional kind of a thing where you go to Chicago and like, you know, Ike Baron holds as a friend of mine I know that he is a huge cubs fan But but they're diehard. Yeah, right in their family. It's rooted into their dna That's why bill Murray and all these kind of guys Even red socks though, too as well

Well, yeah, it's deep. It's deep love for their embedded in there in their in their city red socks fans always scare me Why? They're very very diehard Yeah, like I would not want to be a Dodger fan and then go to Boston for Like the world series and like in my Dodger gear Yeah, to me they look like really old Just let me finish it. You can edit this out, right? No, yeah, yeah, they look either like like kind of older like librarians or they look like they're in the band house of pain

What do they look like you know, I mean Right that they have like, you know, they're just white irish dudes, you know, I mean we're in baggy jeans. That's just my opinion Did you look it up? Yeah, come on. It's funny It's a joke. It's a joke That's because I'll tell you how I know that Because I remember like my one of my AA sponsors brought I just see B. I'll come B He's he's from Chicago. I'm at Boston. He also he's an actor. I I did pineapple express with him and he

He also always goes to house of pain shows So I just feel like there's a connection there for some reason You know, yeah, like your titties babe. I have none and also can I say this you how you feel about because It's truly tell me how you feel about the fact that I went from a double D to an A cup I never wanted you to have I was the one when I met you. I'm like, don't go through the surgery I told you that do I look like a flat chested? No, I love it. I like it like that. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I don't mind it No, I like I know I love it that way. It's also connected to your health And I want you to fucking not you know, I want you to be healthy

And I want you to live, you know You know, that's it. I just want you to live. That's it. I want you to live. Anyway, um Do we have any unhelpful advice? You got it. I'm full of eyes Unhelpful, but what are we doing at time wise? Uh, we're over 50 That's pretty good. It's very good Unhelpful advice with bobby and kalima. Hey tiger belly. I'm chris from boston and I'm 20 years old Uh, okay, how's the pain my young jack Russell Taylor simbad el marino got hit by a car last weekend And died from head trauma. My whole family has uh, was devastated

But rather than being sad, I was angry and still am I'm convinced it was my parents' fault for being careless and keeping the door To outside open like they always do no matter how many times I tell them they concerns me They come from the third world countries where dogs were off leash almost all the time And I guess they're still not used to the idea that dogs need to be more closely watched Now than ever I love my parents a lot and I've told them how I really feel about the situation because I guess blaming people It's the last thing you want to do in times like these and I'm worried it would hurt their feelings in my relationship with them I would never blame my parents my mom witnessed this the accident herself And it seems to be bothering her a lot like she's replaying what happened in her head all the time and feeling guilty

When I'm ready to move on My question for you guys is how do I console my mom even though I'm still angry inside? And I feel it was chiefly her and my dad's fault. I'm not good at consoling people Should I just leave her alone? I feel like my dad died for nothing because of a dumb mistake And it's really eating away at me. Love you guys God it's Terrible thing that happens. Let me ask you kalayla. Yeah, I'm gonna answer that question by asking you a question If I was walking remi

And I didn't hook him in properly. Yeah, and he runs away and he gets eaten by coyote What would you do? Be honest be honest I would really fully Reassess our relationship because you're a man that who says that he wants children But doesn't even have enough sense to put medications away to keep the certain things or certain hazards

away from the animals Or properly leech the animals So I would really reassess Because I would break my heart. You know that. Yeah, I would be so furious with you. Yeah, and I think that I would I would have to take a step back and Really consider your recklessness and your Your seemingly lack Of attention to really important things. So now I'm gonna answer the guy, but this this is cut ties

No, no, no. What you're just your strategy. That's his parents. I'm your fucking boyfriend He's not having kids with his parents And also you This is something that's happened to me. I did live in a third world country and you're right You know, we have a lot of stray dogs or dogs kind of just can you let him all these animals? The cat was knocking on the door And I had a dog named Gino that I rescued off the street and Gino was the love of our lives He was just the sweetest dog ever. He made it through parvo

So he was extra special to us because he got sick and then he survived One morning my a relative of mine who was sort of a drug addict Um opened the gate of our house and Gino got out and got ran over and killed me an internal bleeding And I remember waking up that morning and my dad having to tell me that Gino was gone and I remember the fury and the hate I had towards this family member and It was actually I shouldn't say this Say it but it was somebody it wasn't just a family member It was my oldest sister and she was deep in drugs at this time

and I didn't forgive her for years. Wait a second. It was honey Honey did that and to this day She doesn't even it will make her cry if I tell her what's the dog's name again Gino. Thank you But I need that bullet Why so when she's back in in this house, she has so much remorse. I'm gonna bring that up if she doesn't do what I tell her to do I Love your tactics, sir. Thank you, sir. I lie to win

The reason that I was so angry with her was because she was drugged out and she didn't seem to show any remorse Or empathy for what my sister and I were feeling. That's why I didn't forgive her for a long time But your mom clearly is she's just as she's breaking just like you so you guys I think should heal Together, you know, and it is hard to to stop blaming But it is easier to stop blaming when you see that they're hurting and they are showing remorse I don't think she wanted that to happen at all, but accidents do happen. Yeah Yeah, I honestly I'll be honest with you if I Just back to our scenario

If Rami if Rami did escape And he was eaten by a coyote You there's no need to to do whatever you're gonna do I honestly would probably relapse It would it would cause me so much pain Because I love that dog so fucking much And I would probably just become a coyote hunter or something, you know, I don't think coyotes deserve that They're trying to eat a meal too. You know, don't eat my dog. Just relax dog. Yeah, don't eat my dog

Yeah, yeah, it's it's it's anyway guy. What's his name? Uh anonymous anonymous. I love you And I'm sorry about your dog. Sorry about your dog. It's fucking tragic. It is your mom Um, you have to learn to forgive her And and maybe you guys can get a puppy together. Yeah, and then be more careful next time. Yeah But get another dog the most honest mistakes happen to the best people And it shit shit just happens Um, isn't there another one about, um, someone's penis? No, no, I'm not. No, I'm not done. Oh, good sake. No, I'm not

No, I'm not done with this. Let me just finish my thing by saying this. Okay. Is that there's an old saying There's an old saying. All right Nothing ever happens. Um It's it's not an accident Yeah, yeah, wait, um I know it doesn't make it just let me finish the quote. All right Nothing ever happens in god's god's world. That's a mistake something like that. Okay So maybe your dog, although it's awful, right? Maybe, um, there is a reason why and maybe you have to adopt two

You know and raise two dogs, right from the pound or something Oh, I see you're saying spin it, you know, oh in a good way. I see that's all all right. Um, we have the penis one I don't think that was a penis one, but I just chose that. Okay. I'm a 27 year old male and I live in Omaha, Nebraska I'm dating and in love with a pre-op transgender woman We've been together for over a year and hiding it from my friends and family has been exhausting I'm scared of what they'll think and the judgment I'll receive I have a very traditional family and a close group of friends And I know I will get relentless shit for it. What can I do? Thanks

Pre-op that's before the operation Still has a pp pp. Okay dressing. Yeah I mean for me The honest truth Love is love And You know, I know a comic that that's in a relationship With a um

pre-op And this dude is in love with him her right And he tells me it's like dude. I've never thought but I he really is deeply in love and for me, it's like I get it and um If your family doesn't understand it They don't understand it. There's nothing you can do about it

But love is love and I want you to continue with that relationship Yeah, um, I think that Bobby's right and you should um I don't know if you can find a way or find it in you to Be the example to other people and you just got to live out loud. You got to live that love out loud And even if it has consequences or even if it comes with attempts to humiliate you You know, you just got to brush you got to like learn to brush that off Because if that's somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with you better get used to it today

And now I don't think that it should ever be a secret and the more that people do this And they they they live their truth in this way, you know, it makes it easier for the ones after you So that's my advice. I would just grin and bear the possible attempts at humiliation or and and then, you know Stand my ground against my family That's what I would do Yeah, I'm trying to think to myself if Kalilah had a penis It with my folks

Would you be hurt if I said, um Yeah, and they're never gonna know They're never yeah, I mean if I was somebody who was going to if I said my parents are traditional Koreans, they're just I just know my folks. Yeah, they just wouldn't understand it Or you don't think that they'd ever accept me. I just don't think they would I mean, I love my folks But they are still rooted in now Korean. What about your friends? Yeah, my friends are fine. Okay, because they you know, they have youtube Oh, you know, I mean, they're part of the culture and they know, you know, this they've seen things right as long as you don't Hide our love. No, I would no I would hold hands with you at home

You know and at home at home and I would kiss you on the lips at home You know and at nights at fuck you in the ass You know, but um, I they wouldn't know Without no, they ask you would that hurt you? Yeah fuck It would hurt. How would I do it? Bobby, I'm just trying to think. Oh my apartment. Oh, who's this girl? No, that's not what they sound like. Okay It's more Japanese. Yeah. Yeah. I was a little scary. I wasn't. Yeah, you're good. Let me just do both parts

I'm a upper who will more more um come on Yo, yeah, which is she's a girl. They go. We know I go I go to you so More than I said, she has a penis. So they go more ago I go, uh, yeah, she uh Transvestite yeah

What is it transgender transgender? Yeah, and then we would have to watch videos and stuff I would sit my parents in front of like I think your mom would be cool with it I think eventually she would yeah But how cool would it be if like it took two years so she knew you for two years And then eventually they let fall in love with you and then you tell them Then they have to struggle with god. I do love her But what does it matter then that question if you do it up front And go hey, this is my girlfriend class. She's you know, you don't give them a chance to even

Get to know you right get to know you first Yeah, that's the way to do it get to know you first have them fall in love with you And then you spring it on them Then in their heads they have to struggle with okay. Well, I did love her as a human being She's a good person. She helps her on the house. She doesn't complain. You know, she's a good girl She loves, you know me our son So what does that mean to me? So I think that's the way to do it put the question on them. Yeah

Yeah, it also is you also have to think about, you know, these type of things like People are so fucking ignorant and you know, there is still a lot of crime against people who are transgender And you do have to consider, you know, the safety of the person You know, like people are fucking cruel, man and ignorant Yeah, you know, but in in our society as human beings We're never going to get away from that People will I mean look at look at now still now

you still see some form of the kkk Out there you would think That in 2019 that we would have done away with that There's some people that still think that some Ethnicities or races are more superior than other races You know, some people think that homosexuality is an abomination

We're never it's 2019 Think about this in 30 years Machine is going to have consciousness There's gonna, you know machines Artificial artificial intelligence Is going to think for themselves and we might have a war with them and yet they'll still be half the population Who's going to think that? Being gay is an abomination. It's crazy

Catch up people God that's terminator plot catch up But that's that's but the terminator is based in a truth a true thing. Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, yeah It's inevitably you the singularity people think Some some being a sooner than later some People that are in you know That technology believes it's going to happen within the next 30 or 40 years. Did you watch? A little clip of elon musk telling joe rogan that

We're already cyborgs. Oh, I saw a little bit of that um That the amount of time we're connected to our phone Basically, we're already halfway there. We're already cyborgs Yeah, just a little like a 1.0 version of it just a slower version of it right eventually They're gonna we'll have nanobots inside of fixing diseases Think about the amount of people who are who get incredibly anxious when you take their phone away I mean think about how we grew up

We didn't have any of that if we couldn't find someplace or get somewhere or talk to somebody We kind of just made do right? We we figured it out. Now if you take someone's phone away, they will freak the fuck out I still remember in my 20s driving pulling over to call my Work on a payphone and not figuring out. I don't have any quarters Then going to a fucking liquor store. Hey, can you get changed for a dollar? Yeah, that's the only way I could communicate with people

Yeah, you know, I remember in high school There was a an area where you could smoke cigarettes Yeah The kids are allowed high school to smoke cigars if they had a consent form from their parents Really in high school I remember getting on a plane You know in middle school And people smoking next to me

Hmm, just imagine what we've we've changed in our society And I'm pretty sure that somewhere along the road somewhere down the road of vaping You know, I'm gonna have a massive like tumor in my fucking pancreas and they're gonna be like, yeah, that's from The vaping. We just didn't know it at that time. No, it's not from that. You fucking nice Nice shadow shadow jab from your Maui conditioner that you all consist on getting my Maui. You know why? What what if I get like number one? It's all natural and it's affordable. That's what it says That's what it says, but in 30 years. I might get fucking the hit from it Who knows?

Anyway, thanks for listening to another episode Learn science. Oh, what are you wearing the merch, baby? We're wearing. Oh my god. So guys We have new merch out the shirt that I'm wearing right here. This tiger Los Angeles brown Whoever picked this color is the best. Thank you. Yeah, this is the greatest color. Thank you. And then we also have These sweatshirts. Oh, who's face is that these sweatshirts as well? Yeah, okay. We also have these sweatshirts. It's it's Yeah, oh, it's got the slubking on them like this. He's holding up the sweater holding it up Let me see and this is a great sweatshirt 80s throwback to your king. If you want to wear the king on your chest This is the sweater to get. Yeah. Oh, yeah, great one

And then we have what else do we have? She's read it out loud of these. Okay. We have a A tiger belly shirt on the chest. It says tiger belly podcast shadow play and dream weaving Since 1971, which is your birthday and it's also on the back and it's also on the back We have four different colors. We have this sort of cool. I love this my favorite one the peach color We have a more of an army green all of them and then we have a black one And vintage yeah, like a kind of a yellow. We don't make we don't you know, when you when we sell merch We'd only make a certain amount of it and then we move on as you know Yeah, so, you know, get get out get on it

Get on then we'll come up with some other ones, you know, yep, and once you we make them we're done. Yeah, all right So thank you. I also kind of just say this right now The ratings for my show is it dismal What do you mean for splitting up together? Okay, and it came on the same as Same as the Dodgers. It doesn't matter. Okay, and you say no one watches baseball. Well, they do Okay, I'm just saying that Help Papa. I'll help up. I know the shows

You know, it's not the kind of comedy That people think that I should be in it's still a nice fun show. It's light. I'm sorry, but I've watched the first two episodes And you are so funny in it Thank you. It is a funny show and you shouldn't you shouldn't I know down play undersell. I don't undersell it. I just don't play down play Down play shadow play. Okay. You can't do that. It's a good show. Yeah, it's a good show Say it proudly. You're great in it too. Great. Great. Great. What day again, Bobby is the show Tuesdays at 9 30 Hey, promote your own show, dude. Yeah, get off your phone. You cyborg

Tuesday 9 30 9 30 abc. Anyway, thanks for listening to another episode of tiger bell. I see you up. Peace out He's george. Are there any announcements for the slap king here? Come in here george. Yeah, george. So yeah come in It's weird. Yeah, sit by me. See yeah, let's phrase it that way Sit by me george. Let's show that sweater on george on a slim sleek and delicious body Babe, you forgot to say it's george's birthday week and his birthday is on thursday So we had to say happy birthday to him now and i'm a good friend because i already bought his gifts Did you gill? Did you bring a fucking cookie from hawaii? No, we bought you guys you guys cookies from hawaii. But it's his birthday Oh, he'll get a gift. He knows. Oh, yeah, did you just wink at him?

You're gonna suck his dick. Hey, are we friends george? All right We're really close now. Babe, say happy birthday to george. You gotta do it now. Babe, be more sincere That doesn't sound sincere. I'll sing a song. How do I Say goodbye To yesterday Happy birthday to you. Yeah, we suck Um any announcements george? Yeah, uh the paper that's on your computer. Okay, there's no paper there. Where's the paper? There's no paper george

Well, I said it there. Well, it's not there. So anyways, uh, but just to touch on merch Uh, make sure you follow us on social media, uh, when you'll get the announcement There'll be a countdown on the website. It'll be much more easier to find out when it drops um Like kalala said there's gonna be uh the four colors of the handwritten shirts the vintage shirts so you can wrap that shadow play and uh dream weaving uh And then the shirt bobby was wearing the shirt george the sweater george is wearing right now And also we'll have some pins

And some more mugs for you guys that missed out to make sure you jump on those Can I see the pin please? Yeah, sure. I'm gonna hold it out for them. I love it It's a slept kingdom It's exclusive and it has an eye with a gold crown in the middle and it says tiger belly slept kingdom It's really cool. Also the packaging is cool. George designed the packaging. Good job, george Uh, kalala george reverse shout outs shout outs anything you just want to get out in the ether? Hmm, I sure should always reverse shout out to uh, we just wait drawn from them. Who did the Instagram was that drawn from the liner? Was that somebody else the king failure?

Yeah for uh for quoting our patreon episode and calling me king failure on that so reverse shout out to that guy I liked it. I double tapped I did too, but I won't make that a big over shout out to no need for a sticker Why didn't you eat your dinner first drink your lemonade? And then we can snuggle it up, babe Just one k I'm surprised you guys aren't just binging it like you usually it's not good to binge a horror um show Because your threshold for fear keeps going up and up and so the scares won't be as As large I get that but actually in this show I you could binge. Yeah. Yeah. I love this week

Oh, I wanted to say one thing god damn it. I forgot. Well, there's a mic still on I know but bobby's not here, but do you know what he said the other day? He was talking about fast food. Yeah I did I fed them the waruva one earlier I I I Is it gonna give him diarrhea because Oh remi remi did Is he like it when he had a belly ache, but I I think that's already passed this expiration This one. Yeah, I bought some more. Okay. Well, then you can feed

But this one says Yeah, that's been expired for over a month Oh 19 Um, no, why don't you just open a new one? Riveting podcast so if you haven't left an itunes review yet, please leave an itunes review. It really helps us in the rankings What were you? Um bobby said the other day he was telling me like his um favorite um fast food chains back in the day He was like, yeah, I remember when it was just jack in the box and carlos jr

What's carlos jr? And I was like what what he was like carlos jr Carlos jr. You know that bobby didn't know it was carlos jr He thought there was an o after the l the guy with the big white head in the sombrero hat With the green burrito because they they're now mixed with a green burrito, but his name is carlos jr I didn't grow up with that fast food joint. So oh well No, I um, I used to eat taco bell all the time, but I think I'm gonna switch over to del taco. I'm gonna say that's better Del taco is so good. Oh, we have in the west coast. So Uh, I like the grilled. I used to eat the grilled stuff burrito a lot of taco bell

I don't need a fast food anymore. I just cook it. I can tell look at that. Boom muscle. Oh, it's not muscle I wasn't ready. Uh, george edit that out Uh, george anything else? Uh, I think that's it. Yeah guys, so make sure and also if you want any more bonus content If you're like, uh, I want more tiger belly. They don't talk enough. Uh on mondays We're releasing you episodes on the patreon. So check that out if you're interested at patreon.com Slash tiger belly like the uh, the solo episode. No one you motherfuckers farted And I could promise you smell my butt smell my butt. You know, I will Let me smell it. Let me smell both of your butts right now

No It's not george. Gilbert Gilbert It was you Yeah I really not fart There's a dog then Kalila, look at me smell my butt. We're gonna edit this out. Look at me

Smell my fucking butt. Gilbert. Well, I'm not smelling your butt because that would be a me too situation So I'm not gonna fall for your traps. I'm giving you permission Come on, seriously. Okay. This is not Turn it off. Yeah, did you fart I on my life? I didn't fart in most in most of those times It doesn't like fart. Do you fart? Have you done it before on on if I fart? Have I not farted in front of you guys saying guys? I'm gonna fart But the ones that you announced never smell. It's like, I think you know when it smells That's not true smell my butt. Okay. Well

If this will to be continued check out next week But she follows on instagram at tiger belly on twitter at that tiger belly. Uh, you can ask us any questions at unhelpful advice Uh at the tiger belly gmail.com. You can follow kalila and all her smell my butt post at That's not my butt. I just changed my handle Let's get it trending. Hashtag smell my butt guys. We did some we already have it No, let me quickly. But let's do let's see how powerful the slump kingdom is Let's hashtag smell my butt and any post you see with kalila's face on it Hashtag smell my butt. Let's get some sponsors for a butt product. Uh, george, we can follow. Oh god, we can

I just got it. We can follow you at george underscore kibble on instagram And you can follow bobby at everything bobby lee live and myself at gilbets and shout outs everyone in hua'i Who yelled pink dick at me in a mall? So many times and some guy watched me. I forgot his name I'll do it next week, but he was some guy at the beach was watching me for like 30 minutes. I was like, what is going on? He finally swam up to me He was like george has a pink dick and I got hit by a wave and drowned But uh, yeah, shout out to everyone in hawaii how fun we should do a show out there

We should say we should do it Just we should take a little tiger belly retreat For a month just for fun. We should do a podcast out there Yeah, let's do it. It's not a live show. We should just record for like a couple weeks or our own version of a luau Yeah I guess All right, we'll see you guys next week. Bye guys. Like a strong ending Oh

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