TigerBelly - Episode 17: The Korean Kite 한국 연

Episode Date: November 26, 2015

Bonus Belly! We assess Gilbert's debut as a standup.  Bobby's appa is the original human kite. We share family war stories, visit The Enterprise, and announce our first fan giveaway contest.   Recorded November 21, 2015 Music by Bobby Lee Instagram: @tigerbelly Twitter: @thetigerbelly www.thetigerbelly.com

Welcome to Tiger Belly. Hey, it's Bobby and this is Kalila and Gilbert. And you're listening to another episode of Tiger Belly. And this is, I don't know when this is going to come out, but I'm going to act as if it's real. No, we're in real time. Oh, we're in real time. So it's Saturday night, Sunday morning at around one in the morning.

and we just got got back from the Bray Improv and as you know if you're listeners that we challenged Gilbert to doing some stand-up and I'm going to tell you right now I am absolutely impressed by it he did it very well we had a couple of new comics in the back

that were like absolutely pissed because they were like that can't be his first time I go, it is. They were just really surprised. That guy, Bo and his girlfriend were like, that was his first time. And I go, yeah.

And he was like, They weren't pissed. They were just like, whoa. No, it pissed at himself maybe. Going, whoa. And then Jesus Treo, my feature, came up to me and he said, oh, hey, dude, that guy's a star. That guy is super nice.

Did you hear what I just said? Absorb the compliment, you know what you fucking fucking cocksucker. Let me tell you something about you, man. Should I look at you? No, it's just that. You've changed a little bit. He's gone cocky, babe, huh? A little cocky.

You're a little smirk and your little twinkle in your eye. Go fuck yourself. He thinks so he's a professional. Yeah, you're a professional now. You guys stop turning this on me. No, I'm not turning it. I'm telling you what I see. And what I see is somebody that's not humble.

What? Yeah, yeah. I am so humble. I am so humbled from this experience, sir. All right. And ma'am, ma'am. Yeah. Amiga, Amigo.

Did it give you, were you pressured when we were all in the back of the club and some. Tiger Belly fans showed up and they were like, hey, Gilbert, you know. Yeah, because I was like, oh, shit. Also, the show was sold out, right? And, um. You didn't bomb in front of a sold out crowd. Yeah, and also the sound guy who had been there forever comes to me.

He's watching you on stage and he says, there's no way. That's his first time. I go, it is. He goes, well, he's got to have improvs training or something. Like he's had to have like performed comedy. as a group somewhere. And I go, yeah, he has. And then he goes, okay.

Because if you had no performance training or an experience, that would have been like a prodigy. Like, oh my God, it's the new Chappelle. But, you know, you've had performance training. Not to take away from the fact that regardless, performance training are not, there are a lot of sketch people who could never do. do what he just did tonight.

I mean, I'm going to give an example of the people that I've, that's done what you've done, but it hasn't been a lot. Number one, Mike McDonald, who I was on Mad TV with, when we finished Mad,

he called me and he said, hey, you know, I'm thinking about doing stand-up and they're done it before. And he did like 45 minutes the first time he did it. Holy shit.

And he was amazing. That's number one. Number two, Nicole Parker, who was also on Mad TV. She was the Green Witch on Broadway. What's it called, Wicker? Wicked.

Wicked. The Wicker lady. Whatever. No, it's Wicked. The Wicked. Yeah. And she opened for me at UCLA, and she'd only done comedy

for three minutes before, and she did 45 minutes before me. Damn. But you're like the third most impressive first timer I've ever seen. Bravo. Yeah. Thank you, Bobby Lee. And I have video to prove it.

Yeah. It was good. It was really good. And I was angry when you were on stage and you were getting laughs. And it backfired on me. And let me tell you something. I think you should keep doing it. I think you, if you don't, I'm going to be so disappointed in you.

It's like you obviously have this natural talent to perform that many, many people, even after years of doing it, never quite acquire. So it's like, why would you? ever put such a thing to waste. You know how to perform. I think that's what it is. You're a great, dude. And that's a thing.

It's like, is it just naturally ingrained in Filipinos to just be performers like that? I think it's a part of their DNA. Well, I mean, you know, the two sets of Asians in comedy are generally Koreans and Filipinos. Because you look at Koreans, all the Korean stand, Asian standups, right? Margaret. Dr. Ken Me Esther.

Esther Koo Yeah, Esther Koo There was a guy named Johnny Yun You know I mean And even comedic actors Like John Cho Whatever, right? Yeah

And with the You know, other Asians Are the Filipinos Joe Koi Rex Navarete There's a bunch more Oh, Rob Schneider

Oh fuck Yeah I think it's culturally maybe ingrained. I don't know many Japanese, maybe one or two, Paul O'Gada, you know.

Helen Hong, what is she? I don't know. Ali Wong, I mean. Ali? Yeah. I think she's Chinese? Chinese, yeah.

Yeah. She's very funny. Helen Wong, I think that's her name. She's Chinese too, I think. But I think it's culturally ingrained. And, And yeah, I mean, I think in the family, too, if you can see Filipino families, they're like loud and, you know.

We're just very festive people. It's always violent too. Like my Koreans are very festive but violent, you know what I mean? And we share, you know what I mean, our emotions on our sleeve. Is that the term? Yeah, you wear your emotions on your sleeve. But yeah, it's like, you know, one of our favorite family recreational activities when we're younger is that the adults would get drunk and then they would give us kids boxing gloves.

And I mean, they would be hammered and they would, it was like like like like cockfighting, but little children under the age of seven. So they would give us boxing gloves and they would bet money on who would cry first. Yeah. And so I would have to start punching the shit out of my cousin Edward and he, I mean, thank God he always cried first, but we would have bloody noses. Like they, and it was hysterical for them. Yeah. I mean, they're just, you know, it's, it is a much, more like flamboyant culture in that way where it's like we're very it's it's okay to be outwardly expressive it's okay to be publicly sort of like goofy you know and and maybe that's not so much seen as a you know a good thing to do in other like asian cultures where it's like no you should

be a little bit more quiet more respectful like filipinos are loud and they're funny and they're crazy but they're i think that's where it's in it over the years it really is ingrained in our DNA Like there isn't a Filipino I know that cannot sing or dance or have some type of talent like that. My dad was indirectly funny. Like he went until my brother was playing keyboards and woke him up from a nap. And my brother was with his friend Anthony who happens to be black. And they were sitting in my brother's room playing keyboards. And my brother must have been like maybe 11 or 12 or whatever.

My dad came in completely naked with nothing like no. No pants, right? And he had toilet paper sticking out of his ass a string because he slept because apparently my mom said he has a lot moisture. He has moisture in his butt. So he has swam butt. He has swan butt. He has swan butt.

Right, right. So he sleeps with his toilet. He came in with, he looked like a Korean kite. He came in, right? And he took the keyboard and smashed it against my brother. Like fucking 20 times. Like it broke in half. Right.

The thing broke it up. And then he ran back into the room and he went back to sleep. You know what I mean? Like at the time, it was absolutely horrifying. You know what I mean? Like it scarred him. Like I couldn't talk for a week. You know what I mean?

But then years later, we would talk about it and it's like indirectly funny like through time. No, sweetie. Let me tell you something. What? That is directly funny. That is the funniest thing. He wasn't intentionally being funny. he was accidentally being funny

but there was a lot of that going on Jesus Christ because the abuse The form of abuse really is funny In retrospect Yeah Or one time I went golfing with him With my uncle Eddie's dad right

So they were brothers And they were golfing so slow That these two black golfers I was a kid Right Goes you know saying You guys got to hurry up You know I mean

And then my uncle And my dad My dad took fucking golf clubs and literally sort of swing at these gigantic black guys, right? I'm hiding behind the fucking golf cart because I'm so scared. And these guys kind of backed off, you know what I mean? But it's like, in retrospect, you know,

it's funny to see these little Korean dudes with golf clubs trying to beat up black people. But, you know what I mean? But now it's just hilarious, you know? Oh, shit, the Korean kites come in. Oh, shit, hide. Fucking hide. Yeah.

But, you know, my life has always been with violence, you know? I told you about how my mom had a broken, like my dad punched her tooth out, you know. And, you know, I remember one time, I don't know if I'd tell you this story, but we had a family function. And my aunt was drunk and said, and there was like maybe 40 Koreans

sitting around this gigantic banquet table, right? And she said, why did you marry my mom to my dad? I think he told us this. Oh yeah. Yeah. Because she's ugly. Oh. So my aunt told my dad that my mom was ugly.

Right? Well, she wasn't. My mom was hot. And my dad took a butter knife, jumped across the fucking table, and stabbed her in the throat. And my brother and I giggled so hard. Thank God it was a butter knife, huh? Yeah, yeah. But like, my life was filled with violence.

And you can see Steve with that temper. There's certain things that tick him off. Steve has a temper. Oh my God. If you get on his red zone, you could die. But it's weird what he red zones about. Like he's so cool about so many things, but he has these certain triggers. Disrespect.

You can't make him look like, what was it? When he yelled at us? You can't make him look bad in front. You can't catch him in a lie, for starters. He doesn't want to be caught in a lie. and he doesn't like to be thrown under the bus. Yeah, that's his term. That's his,

and in a way where, for example, something as small as like, everyone's playing video games. And let's suppose, like they all had a plan to play this one particular, like,

fire fight together. No, yeah, no, I don't know. This is the one he was mad at. This is real, okay? This is so fucking real. So my brother, right, I had a rule when we're playing destiny that you can't do,

you know, I mean, raids with other teams, because then you'll get stuff ahead of us. You know what I mean? And that's not fair. You know what I mean? So just wait for us.

Right. So he, of course, just did it on his own when it raids. And he got a bunch of shit, right? And then we were playing with Eric and his neighbor Craig and Steve. And his neighbor Craig goes, Steve, show him that new sniper rifle you got from that raid you did with the guys. And my brother goes, fuck you, man. Fuck you.

You throw me out of the bus. You fucking cucks. You know what I mean? Like he snapped because he thought. And then Craig was like, calm down, Steve. Calm down. Right? No, fuck you, man.

I want to fucking kill you. I mean, it was crazy. And then I had to go, we don't care. You know what I mean? But he doesn't like, you know what I mean, if you know a secret, you know, and you expose him, he will fucking go down a real crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy avenue with you, man. I remember. Wait, was he yelling at you about?

He doesn't yell at me. No, but in the car, it was something about what was it? I don't know. That was like a. But he was mad about that. He was, he was, but it was. Explain it to me what it was. I forget.

It was the whole going to Sedona thing. You know, he wanted to stay home because he thought that the trip to Sedona with other people would have, you know, they were doing, you know, shrooms and all of that. So he wanted to stay home because he's sober. And he was like, I don't want to go. I don't want to, you know, be in a vulnerable position with other people like doing drugs, you know, which is smart. Like he's trying to. But then what was he mad about?

He was mad because I don't want to. Now I'm going to throw him under the bus now. No, just say it. He was mad because he had initially told the excuse he gave to his friends was that, oh, I can't go because I'm going with Bobby and Kalila to Florida. But then we accidentally said, no, we told his friends like, oh, no, Steve's not coming with us to Florida. So now he looked like he would. Then he, yeah, then he thought that we threw him under the bus.

But not intentionally. We didn't know. Yeah, but you know, it's just weird behavior. Don't lie in the first place. What did he do then? He stayed home. But he also yelled at us in the fucking car. We yelled at that.

But we didn't know what we didn't know it at that time that we. were exposing him because we weren't aware of the situation at all. But in any case, like, I think the other time, though, the last time we all are band, because we're a band, right, me, Steve and Bobby, well, like a human band. But the last time we almost, we thought that we were, our band was broken. We were in the middle, and we were in front of Parks Barbecue. And we were arguing Bobby was so mad at Steve and I over the Steve run and Zizi thing. What was it?

Because you know when the whole Steve Renna Zizi thing came out? If you don't know, Steve Renna Zizi is a comic. He's also on the show The League, and he stated that he was in one of the Twin Towers when it went down. And through years, he told people that he was in building number two. When it turns out, he wasn't in it. Right. So he has since apologized, blah, blah, blah.

And let me just say this. I don't care. Okay, I want to say it. The reason why my... We've already talked about this. Why my brother's mad at Steve Renazizi. Oh, no, no, no, no. The reason why my brother doesn't like Steve Renazizi is my brother.

Years ago would go out on commercial auditions. And he did a commercial audition with Steve Renazizi. With him. No, but they were... Competing for the same part. Oh, auditioning. Okay, yeah. So I guess my brother had gone in and he didn't do well.

And he came out. He's like, oh, that wasn't good. And then Steve Renazizzi goes, I'll show you how it's done. and then he booked it. Right? And my brother hated him ever since then. So he harbored all this like resentment. Yeah.

And yeah. I mean, naturally I would too. It was a joke like yeah. I mean, I don't know. But like if you don't know someone, let's say for instance,

if I saw you at an audition and you, I didn't know you very well, I just knew you in passing and you said that to me, I'd be like, this mother, this cocky motherfucker, I would probably hold on to that memory. You know, and probably not feel that great towards you.

Yeah. So we were all in the car and Steve was sort of giggling at the fact that Steve Renazizi had been like outed that he had now he's in the shitter with you know with a lot of people right and then he obsessed about it he googled everything watched videos all day long we were in a car and he's telling Bobby yeah and then he said this and he said this and then Bobby started defending his friend because Steve is his friend right yeah and then I got in the middle of it but somehow I sided with Steve a little bit too much I guess and I wasn't neutral enough so and then I started questioning

Bobby's character because I was like, well, if you're going to side with somebody like that, like, what does that say about you as a person, right? Are you a liar too? And then it became three of us like literally on the verge of choking each other out. And we got, Bobby finally parked the car and he's like, fuck you guys, I'm fucking sick of this. You know, and then I started, I started to get really upset at him for being upset. And Steve just went all to the other side of the road and he was like, I'm sorry guys. I guess this is my fault. But at this point, like everything was so heated. We stood about maybe a whole block apart, literally, for 20 minutes, we just had to cool off.

We couldn't even eat together. That's how pissed off we were at each other. And it was just 20 minutes in the car, just a giant fucking blowout between us. Yeah. And it was, it was, in retrospect, pretty funny. Yeah, yeah. That was crazy. Another thing my brother got mad at once was we were at the conference.

Comedy store. We should save this for when he comes on the show. No, it's fine, because I have a million things. Oh, okay. I have a billion things I can talk to you about with my brother. Uh-huh. And we were in the lobby of the comedy store, not the lobby, but the patio outside. And Barry Katz, who's, um, Dane Cook's, Jay Moors, and Frank Kelly, Under's manager, came up, you know.

And Barry, I mean, he's a nice guy, you know, but he, he's been around a long. time he says things and he walked up to Steve and he says so Steve what's it like living under your brother's shadow damn he flipped the shit didn't he no but my brother knew he was but I can see my brother's fists were like this and I Barry wasn't looking at me he was just kind of looking around because there was a lot of people there yeah and I grabbed my brother's wrist and I squeezed it and I said you know me he knew because I thought he was going to attack Barry cats. Holy shit.

And that would have been so bad for me. That would have been so bad for me. You know, so there was like little things. That would piss me off too. If someone said that about it. Hey, I get it. I didn't yell at him for being mad. I yelled at him for almost attacking.

A well-known manager. A well-known, powerful manager that could have fucked me up, you know? Right, right. Because he doesn't have that, you know, my brother's full of rage. But people don't realize that because he's so cute. And he's kind of quiet, you know, but it's like, if you cross. him, he's like my dad. He reminds me of my dad.

And my dad was the same way. If you looked at my dad funny at any certain time, he would snap. It was really scary to live with my dad and my mom. Is your mom the same way pretty violent? My mom was very, very violent also. Yeah. But you know what? At the same time, I was not the best kid in the world.

I was a really troubled kid. So it's like, you know, a combination of immigrants. My dad's an alcoholic. He's a workaholic. You know, my, my mom and me was like a crazy upbringing, you know, and I, um, I lived great. I mean, I had, we lived in a place called Green Valley in Poway. We had, you know, a car. We had a swimming pool. You know what I mean? We had a basketball court. We had all kinds of stuff. You know what I mean? So I didn't live. I lived good, you know? I had a good upbringing. And just in terms of aesthetic. you know but there was like things going on that were pretty dark and um you know it's probably my fault i don't know i don't know it could be you know but um my memories of childhood and my brother and i and everything was there've been good moments but there were some dark the ones anyway you know but you did a great job tonight man i really appreciate thank you what did it feel like i know you've you've done a lot of like sketch performances in front of bigger crowds what would you say was

the biggest difference were you more proud of yourself after this particular one or after you've done like you know sketch for some reason after this one by far there was a kind of a energy afterwards i was like oh my god what was that it was weird like because when you do sketch or improv you're not really communicating with the audience but like a lot of time i kept looking at people and talking with them and so i enjoyed that a lot and also when you it's it's a lot less pressure don't you think with sketch because you're not playing yourself. People aren't judging you for being you. You're playing other characters, right? And they can't boo you either because it's theater.

Right. The whole time I was a, I really, because you kept telling me, you're going to bomb motherfucker. Hey, Panfei, you're going to bomb. And I was like, oh, man, I might get booed. The whole time I was thinking I might get booed. Let me tell you, man. My armpits were sweating profusely. Yeah.

For you. Not because I mean, yeah, it's funny. Ha ha. Like we talk about you bombing. But in a sense, it's like you're, I'm like watching my, my, my, son, you know, and I think I was more nervous for you than you were for yourself. Like you could feel like my, my, you know, anxiety over it. And I had to sit in the back. I left. Yeah, he couldn't even watch it. Yeah, I just went back. I went outside and I had a cigarette. But he came in like halfway

through and we were like, we looked at each other and we were like, oh my God, he is doing well. Yeah. You weren't even just doing okay. Like you were doing well. I think at one point you were crushing. Well, how do you define that in like stand-up When you're like, you're killing, you're crushing Like every person in that room was laughing No, it's not that, it's just that you were You were infusing physicality With breaking the fourth wall

Which is you're supposed to do as a stand-up And here's the thing with stand-up You have to look at people in their eyes And that's the best way to show That you're not afraid Because the problem with new comics Is that they memorize their stuff and you know what I mean they they pretend that there's not an audience there and but you didn't do that

you up front you looked them and you said I'm this is my first time and then you did a lot of kind of crowd work you know and that's that a no no no I think it's I really think that it shows immense bravery and because by doing that you're opening yourself up to all the elements of what what horrible things could be said and and you might not be able to control the situation, you know, but you're able to do that. And I just at the, I mean, I really think that it would be a shame if you didn't do it again. And so I was talking to Kalila about maybe when I do Irvine, you could host all the shows. Whoa. And I'll pay you what the club plays you, which is not that much, but it's going to give you an immense amount of experience.

And you'll grow a lot from it, you know. I love that. I can't do the open mics. You do have to. You have to still. But I did three years of that already, improv open mics. It doesn't matter. I lose all that cred. I just got to start over again. Absolutely. The reason why you do open minds has nothing, it has, there's two things that happen.

Number one is you get used to silence. Yeah. I understand that. I know. Yeah. Okay. So number one is you get used to silence and that's an important thing, right? But what's better about, what's, the second thing that you get from it is that you get

street credibility. Right? So then you get other open micers and some of them are going to be future stars believe it or not. Yeah. Right.

And you get their friendship, camaraderie, and you also get the show that you're putting in the work. Right. So without that, because 99.9% of the shows

you're going to do are going to be open mics. I'm giving you Irvine, but that's not, that's one weekend, right? So it's like you have to show me you have to show other comics that I'm going to go through the same process as everyone else. Pay your dues. You know.

Yeah. Why what is, I know we talked about this briefly before, but why have you always hesitated doing stand-up? I just always felt it wasn't my world. Like I hate when people try to, like, especially like young people that move here to L.A., they try to do too much. they're producing, they're writing, they're acting, they're doing stand-up, they're doing sketch. It's like, I've heard people say you should really just focus on one thing.

So I was like, all right, I'm going to act. That's what I'm going to fucking do. Just try to get it to the comedic casting directors, and that's what I'm going to focus on. No. That's silly. Silly. I'll tell you why.

Okay. Because a couple years ago, Mary Lynn Rice Cub, I don't know if you know her, but she was on, you know who she is? On 24. She was on Mr. Show, but she was also on 24.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joey. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So she was doing a lot of stand-up. She's always done stand-up. And I go, wow, I was seeing you do stand-up. I mean, you just got off of the last episode 24. And she's like, yeah, but I want to create a brand. I want to create a franchise, you know, and that's the only way to do it. Because at the end of the day, when you're an actor, it's like, you know, I want a show coming out. I've already said it, love. I did three scenes. I didn't write those scenes. I didn't write those scenes. I did exactly what Judd Avetow and Paul Russ wrote, and I trust their writing. That's not what I'm saying. But, you know, the only creative element there is for me to perform it, you know, or as an actor. But it's fulfilling, but not as fulfilling as doing stand-up.

Because with stand-up, I wrote everything. I performed it. It's all me, and it's all from my point of view. So it feels, you know what I mean, like more fulfilling. right so it's like you know you're what you're going to wait in let me tell you something right now as an actor you're and if you're just an actor you're going to wait and fucking line that's what you sign up with 50 other Asians and well it's it's a crapshoot you know and gilbert what's so wrong about carving out your own path like I know people you're around people who would

probably discourage you from doing stand-up because it's like well no like you know they've been doing it for three years and you can't just up and go and get spots with Bobby Lee and then you know have that type of like opportunity but at the same time it's like no like the opportunity success is up when opportunity meets preparation and you came out tonight and you were prepared many people get opportunities to do guest spots and big shows and they fucking fail and you didn't and it shows clearly that you have it in you so you know what like you should carve out your own path your own way to wherever you want to get like you but you You shouldn't stifle your potential by only choosing one route.

You don't, you have talent, clearly. So just, you know, use, you know, exhaust every avenue that you can. It's a pity otherwise. Mm-hmm. You don't fucking listen to shit. You don't listen to shit, baby, huh? I'm listening, huh? Yeah, he doesn't listen, huh?

No, you're right people that have a lot of open-markers having me shit. Fuck them. Fuck them. Then you know what? I challenge those open micers to get up on on the stage in front of the Solat show and improv and try to get laughs. I challenge them because it's not easy. But also what do they say? In your head, you think I have to do 10 years of it?

Yes, that's what he's been told. I'm all about starting at the bottom because for me I did that thing in Chicago with my world. So it's like I get it when they're like, yeah, man, you don't deserve that, man. You need to be. Yeah, but you know what it is though? It's like that that is true. Yeah, I agree. You know, right?

That is true for most. Okay. But like Delia, Chris Delia? I mean, that guy rose. And, you know, I'm fucking tired of people saying shit like, well, Chris Delea's dad is Bill Delea, who's a gigantic producer in Hollywood. Bill Delea has nothing to do with the comedy world.

Okay. The only thing Bill Delea did, and Chris's mom is raise their kids to just go for it because Bill told me once Chris's dad Chris used to as a kid

perform in front of them while they were about to go to sleep so his parents would be just sitting in their 90 or whatever right and Chris would come in and do a little show and my dad if I did that go to sleep you know what are you doing

right but they you know encouraged him that behavior, right? And when Chris started doing stand-up, he went to the ha-ha for a couple years. He went to the comedy store, belly room, but he did it every single night.

Right? And there's no one in the comedy industry that is a stand-up that said that he doesn't deserve what he has. Because he crushed up front, too. You know, so it's like, for a lot of people, it took me a long time.

I've been doing it for 20 years. I'm still not that great. You know what I mean? But I have work ethic. Why are people so, I see that a lot. There are people who get so easily, like they're bitter. They're bitter when it takes someone two years to get really good. And they're eight years in and they don't feel like they're quite there yet, you know?

Who's that cock sucker when you did stand up? What was that fucking guy's name? Oh, Jeff Carousalas. This fucking cock sucker. Before we get into it, I have to preface. this story by saying that I truly, truly think that this guy suffers from PTSD. I know he served in the military, but I feel like his behavior really shows some type of post-traumatic stress disorder.

Like, he's, he, I've never seen him without a drink in hand. He's always belligerent. He's always very, like, aggressive, antagonistic, very confrontational. I did, and I don't know, Bobby thought that it would be. amusing for me to go to open mics. I think I told you guys this. She did stand up like 15 times or whatever. So I used to go to open mics by myself.

You know, no one knows who the fuck I am. I just go, right? And I'm telling you now, I would go in, I would roll in in sweatpants and like a giant t-shirt. Like I just looked, I always looked a hot mess.

Like I never tried to doll up or anything of that. I do just go in because Bobby said, just do it. Just do it. So I went. And this guy just happened to find out by accident. He was in the open-mise. that I was. He happened to find out that I was Bobby's girlfriend. Mind you, I never told anybody else ever.

And I did my, I did my five minutes at the one in Burbank, flappers, right? Did my five minutes, you know, came off. But in those five minutes, I had, people were listening to me. Whether or not I was funny, whatever, people stayed enough to listen to me. And he came after me. He went up after me. So in his five minutes He spent five minutes basically Explaining to the room Why they stayed and watched me He said the only reason you even think that girl is compelling or funny

Is because she has big tits on her chest Blah blah blah She sucks Bobby Lee's dick And he just goes off into this tirade But he also said something right right that I wasn't Yeah and basically And then then going on about like how Bobby isn't funny blah blah blah and he you can tell this guy is like not like mentally like not stable right

but i was the only girl in the room in that particular open mic it was like one in the morning and he was just like non-stop just viciously just like going off on me he wasn't even every people started leaving the room like this guy's obviously fucking drunken stupid but that's that's his shtick like that's his and i want to tell this guy but i never met him oh no you you met him this is how so a few weeks after that three weeks after that he comes to the comedy store. This is how I know he's not okay in the head. He comes up to me and he was like, hey, Kalila, remember me?

Because he sees me standing with Bobby and a few of Bobby's comic friends. So he probably wanted the inn or the introduction. And I looked at him like this and I shrugged my shoulder and I literally gave him my back. Like I body checked him. Damn. And I didn't even. It's, what boggles my mind is this. Is that, what's the name is Jeff, right?

Jeff. Okay. So, fine. You said, if that's your opinion, fine. You sit it out loud. You made my girlfriend look like shit, feel like shit. That's fine. That's every right, okay?

But then also, I have also every right, okay, to just, you know, not help you. And also, you know, I'm not a big time, but I know a lot of fucking people, right? Why would you fucking do that? You know? You know what I felt? Why the fuck would you do that? I felt what was most disturbing about that whole thing is that he really is a woman hater. Like in his core, you could tell that he is just so angry at the fact that a woman even does comedy.

He's just an angry guy. And the reason I really truly believe he's not okay. Like he's that type of guy who would end up going in a comedy glove and just shooting up the place, unfortunately. I hate to say that, but he's that type. And I don't, but he, funny enough, he goes to these open mics every single day. And I almost feel like his therapist probably tells him to have an outlet for his thoughts. And I think he chose the wrong outlet because it's one thing to be to have aggressive type of comedy and to like, you know, like tear people down or whatever. But he's just so not funny.

Like he's just, there's nothing funny about it's uncomfortable to the point where you're just like, dude, like, what the fuck is your problem? Yeah. Like you need to see somebody. You need a hug. You know? And obviously, like, after that, I came home. And, you know, I felt bummed because I was like, look, I will always want to try new things, but not at the cost of, you know, like my mood.

Like, I came home and I was like, ooh, like, I felt like I needed a shower. Like, some dude just fucking verbally attacked me for no fucking reason, right? Just because I'm Bobby's girlfriend. And it was not even something that I, that I never. I was, I went by Kalila, no one who knows who the fuck I am. And he just had seen me with Bobby before. and he got really angry about that. And bitter, super bitter.

Bitterness, man. Yeah. Go fuck yourself, Jeff. Whoa. Let's not take it there. Yeah, just suck a dick, Jeff. Just suck your own dick, dude. Yeah, try it.

I dare you. We just plug them, so maybe. Yeah, maybe. I mean, I don't know. I don't know the guy. I feel bad. I mean, I kind of feel bad, but even saying what I just said.

But any, but you know what? Fuck it. You know. I'm not the only one. You know, you've talked to other people about him and they've said the same thing. I know, I know, I know, I know. I honestly just think he's using comedy.

or open mics as a place to put his hatred. Yeah, it's like therapeutic for him, but like not for the rest of us. You know what I mean? It's like. Yeah, I mean, but also what people have to understand is that it's not about at the end of the day who the funniest and most talented guy is. Okay.

A lot of times it's about a guy who's good socially, who's a nice guy, you know, who it could be, they have a good look or a certain look about them, an attitude. I don't know. There are guys that you see do stand up. They're okay, but they're amazing actors.

Like, they know how to go into an audition and just, you know, get a job, you know? So it's like, you know, this guy, he said things, I'm not funny, that's fine. You have every right to do that. But to make my girlfriend look, like, feel like shit. But that's it. You know, that's all I'm going to say.

That was, I call me weak, but that was the last open mic I did. She didn't do it anymore. Because I was like, look, I got it. I have to feel like I'm enjoying this. That's what made me mad. You know what I mean? That it just, you know. But that's me being a pussy too.

I could just, you know what? Like, I could be strong and be like, that's just one fucking person. I could keep going up, right? Yeah. But, you know, that's, that's not on him. That's on me just not having a backbone. Did you get the Star Wars ticket I asked for? No, but.

And Jessica, my friend's friend bought 50 tickets to the very, very first viewing in L.A. It's a little bit further away, and she saved us two tickets. Do you want to go to that? But I have to go with all your, that was good people. No, no, no, no, no. We can just buy it off of them and we can go sit in our own little corner. But it's the very first viewing in L.A. Yeah, I have to see it.

Or would you rather, you, me and Steve, though? Yeah, I just, let's just get three of our own ticket. I don't have to see it at an opening day, but I just hope that it's better than Phantom Menace. I think anything will be better than that show. I know, but dude, remember the Phantom Menace. The Phantom Menace trailer?

Awesome. The very first one? Awesome. Like the teaser one was so awesome. Darth Mall. I literally, I had a spiritual awakening. And then I waited in line for eight hours

because my friend, Garth, who owns that, Cafe Stella and Silver Lake, he got tickets, but he just, I got tickets, but you have to wait in line, and then I'll join you at the last 10 minutes when they're coming in. Yeah.

So I waited in line for him, and it was the worst movie going experience. It was awful. How long did you wait for? Eight hours. Oh. Fuck. And, yeah, I just hope that doesn't happen again.

That's amazing. I can't even get you to wait eight minutes for anything. Phantom Menace was so bad. There's just no way. in my mind that I think JJ Abrams is going to drop the ball. There's just no way that's going to happen. Do you like what JJ did with Star Trek? Did you like what JJ did with Star Trek?

Yeah, amazing. You know, the way he betrayed the Romulans and the little Klingons in the second one. I'm more of a truckie then. Oh, you know what? That one game we're going to do the Star Trek game. I'm not ready for that. My brain cells are just completely shot to shit right now.

sweetie. We've done two back to back podcast today. You've done two shows. I don't want to be tested. Did you do? Do you do homework? I need a little more time. I haven't done any homework. No, we're not supposed to do any homework. I thought we were supposed to do some homework.

I thought we were just going to be tested anyway. You know what? I'm going to ask you the questions anyway. No, I don't want to. This is so boring to me. Three questions. Three questions. Star Trek? Yeah. Okay, go ahead.

Star Trek trivia with Bobby Lee. Hit it. All right. What is the race closest to their actually cousins to the Vulcans? Romulan. That was quick. Because I'm a romulan. Very quick.

That's correct. Very good. Okay. What was Whoopi Goldberg's character's name in Star Trek? Oh my God. It's with a G. Yes. Guyin.

Guyin. Gyn. Gynitress. No, no. Shut the fuck up, Gilbert. It's a contest. Guinen Yes

That's two right there Fuck Right If you don't get the next one Come on Don't fire you're gonna get fired You put me through so much I don't give a shit

Because you're really disappointing me Okay So here we go Here's the third one All right What race Is Wharf Fuck

He's a A clingon Yes I thought you were going to ask Dr. Beverly Crusher Crusher The three

Okay Dr. Beverly Crusher Had a son Right I thought the contest It's over Oh it is over Yeah

It's the knowledge part though What do you mean the knowledge part I'm trying to get you to get a point So that I don't have to fire you I know I know you already did it So I'm just gonna look at it I'm done okay I'm gonna with Jane Kirk

I know that stuff No no no I'm gonna ask you You fucking questions dude I start to until you fucking get one right Okay okay So here we go Fourth What was Beverly

Crusher's son's name. I don't know. Wesley Crusher. Okay. Worf had a son. What was his name? I don't know any of these people. What? Michael. No.

Philip? No, that's okay. Can you ask me about the movies? The current movies. The game was for the next generation. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Who plays Jean-Luc Picard?

Oh, come on. The black guy? The black guy? John Luke Picard. Come on, Gilbert. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What?

Oh, God, this is the words in an open mic. Oh, shit. Captain Picard. What? Why are you laughing? Right? Who played Jean-Lucbacard? Who played Jean-Lucbacard?

Oh, that's his full name. In the next generation. Yeah, the next generation. Oh, my God. I'll just audition for his fucking TV show and stars. I can't even think of it right now. Oh, my God. A Professor X.

Yes. Yeah, what's his name? Come on, man. Sir Patrick Stewart Yes Oh thank Jesus That would have been bad I didn't even realize that was his full name

What Jean-Lucéved So did he pass I mean I don't think he did that That question was He literally answered He literally answered with another movie

He said He said Professor X He answered with an X men What are we going to do? I'm going to do with a Star Trek Enterprise Okay good Okay. There's a lounge area, right, where everyone drinks and has a good time.

What's that called? You're asking like the hardest ones. No, not. That's so easy. What? Gooseville. What is it? Gooseville?

Gooseville. Gooseville Bard Grill. Come on down to Gooseville Bard Grill. Nachos. It's called Ten Ford. Oh, my God. That was that a stupid Star Trek sketch with, oh, that was where a. took place.

Oh, at 10 forward? Yes. Yeah. Oh. You could have got that. Yeah. I want to ask you the most easy, the easiest question. It's a general one, okay?

So aside from, and this is just in any Star Trek universe. Prime directive. Maybe, I know. That was the answer? No. Oh. You can't answer this one for Gilbert. Okay.

So aside from the Vulcans, Romulans, and Klingons, all right? Name me any other race that's in the, Star Trek universe. Humans. Okay. That does. That does. That you did answer that.

Fuck yeah. Wow. That's great. All right. What are some other alien races in that? Borg. Borg. Yeah.

So, um, I get so confused because I watch like Battlestar. Ferengi. Galactica and stuff. So like I don't know the difference now between Borgs and silos and like fucking replicants. Like I'm so confused. with all those worlds.

Like I couldn't, when he asked that question right now, I literally almost screamed like Cylon. I want to say this too. If you're into sci-fi, please watch the Battlestar Galactica TV show. It's probably the best TV show that no one ever talked about it.

It's so fucking good. It is good. Have you seen it? Okay. I'm telling you right now, watch the first season. It's so fucking good. It really is.

It's mind blowing, but people didn't see it. I saw every single episode, and I loved it. Is it like Stargate? No. Nope. But I love all that shit. I love Lord of the Rings. I love Star Trek, Star Wars, all that shit.

Do we have a question? Yeah, I do you have a question? Yep. Unhelpful advice with Bobby and Kalila. That's a long one. You're ready. Hey, Tiger Valley Squad. I need your advice on what to do.

I always shop on this local pharmacy store. It's like a CVS or Walgreens here in Canada. Every time I ask for assistance, it doesn't matter if it's the cashier or pharmacist. He always ignores me or gives me vague answers, and I always see them on their cell phones while working. So I opened a few packs of magnum condoms, grabbed a pantine shampoo, and put a little bit of shampoo inside the condoms so it looks like they've been used. And I spread them all over their aisle and some on the entrance door. I'm pretty sure they will look at the security cameras, but I had a hoodie and a cap, so I don't think they'll recognize me. Question. Is it a big deal that they might go to my house with the police and have me arrested?

And I feel pretty good about doing it and planning it. And I'm probably going to do it again because of the root cashier. What the fuck? That's not a fucking question, is it? Is it a big deal that they might go to my house with the police? Yes. Yeah. Give me another one.

It just sounds like. Give me another one. Do you want to help this high school or not make poor decisions? Hold on. I have, I have something. to say about that. What? I mean, he feels this boy feels rewarded because he's been treated like shit at this, you know, it's the same, I feel like this is something you would do, Bobby.

I would never do that. But you know when you get really... You know what I do? You know what I do? I just don't go back there. Easy. You know, you know me, right? If I'm at a restaurant and they give me poor service, you know me.

I'll never go back there. Here's my thing to my message to this guy. It's not that rude cashier or that rude. Rude pharmacist who has to clean that up. It's the unfortunate job of the janitor who has to clean all that up. So you're actually not getting any type of retribution or revenge

on any of the workers there. So you're, you're, you know, it's not working for your cause. Why don't you just confront them if you're unhappy with them, be direct. Like, hey, dude, listen to me. Hey, lady, pharmacist. I need my nasal spray. listen to me

it's easy as that my heart my heart goes out to the victim's family of the Paris tragedy hey do you know there are other atrocities happening in the world too my head I know but my heart goes out to it

we know you've said this like I just need to say it again I know you know what fuck you ISIS but you won't have my hatred you'll have my love give me another question this is from

Alexander. Hello, I am an adopted Korean living in Kentucky. I don't use the word adopted. I used abandoned. Anyway, go ahead. I am an abandoned Korean living in Kentucky to the white devils. I really didn't have the most diverse upbringing and I was wondering if you had any advice on how I could connect with my Korean roots. Where does he live? Kentucky. P.S. I'm a struggling artist and I designed a shirt inspired by Bobby and Toki Fong. Yeah. I would love for you to check it out. I'd love to see it. His name is Dark Snail. Dark snail. Oh my God, I'm so sorry Are you professional? It's my sister

I'm sorry, I'm sorry Wow So unprofessional I'm so sorry guys That was Kalila's phone That's call you back I'm still recording a podcast Okay

Well you could just not pick it up But that's fine Oh I need it So cute It's a great fucking shirt Very very cute Very cute How does he connect

You know I was in Texas once And this Korean dude came up to me He goes Hey I just don't I don't live around Asians. I was adopted by white people. Hey, hold on one second. No, no, no. You were in Kentucky. In Louisville. Because I remember you telling me the story. It might even be this guy.

I'm not kidding you. You came back from Louisville, Kentucky. And then you said that there's this Asian kid who came to you that was adopted. And he said he felt lost. Yeah. No, it's happened a bunch of times though. It really has. And it's like, you know, the thing is, is that I don't know what to say. I've never known what to say about that. I mean, were they good parents? Yeah, because the thing is, is that, you know, you, in reality, it's like these nice people, you know, took you in as a baby, raised you as their own.

That's your family. Now, if you want to know what culture and stuff, you know, well, you can visit Korea or you can come to L.A. and hang out, you know what I mean? But, you know, it's like, go to where the Asians are. On your own accord, though. Like, you should never, you've ever blame your parents for not immersing you in any type of, like, Korean culture. It's the same, it's the same reason why Gilbert at the age of, what, 26 is starting to realize, like, hey, I should learn to speak Tagalog or Bessaya. And then he comes, every time we hang out, he, you know, spits out a few new words.

But that's on his accord. Like, he's trying to find it in his own way because you weren't. You weren't, like, super immersed in it either. Like, you're not familiar with the cities back home. You're not familiar with a, you know, with a language. So, you know, you've got to. If you're listening in L.A., I just want to say this. And you think that Gilbert's cute.

Let's set that, let's set that date up. If you think. But, baby, can I just say something? Yeah. He's getting hit on a lot by men who listen to the podcast. I really think people believe he's gay. You got tainted my image. No, I really think, too, that you are.

And I do. And I'm going to tell you right now, Gilbert, I'm so cool with it. Okay. No, don't. I'm not sassy. You're using defense mechanism to be funny or whatever. My heart's open. No, that's, you're being joking now, and I'm going to say it's right now.

Look at me right now, dude. I just look at me right now. What do I not look at you? All right. I sincerely. Why is that your eye half open? Because I can't really look at you fully. I need filters.

So what I'm going to say to you is this, is that it is okay. You're going to, as long as you want to, you know, be on this podcast, you will be on this podcast. And just come out. I'm cool with it. I love you, man, regardless. Great.

Go to get more e-bails from fucking guys. All right. So. Yeah. And they always send him messages when they're drunk. It's like two in the morning, guys. I'm tired. So I'm going to end it.

Bullshit. You're going to play fallout till 8 in the morning I have to play it Because I got nine missions I got I have to finish Oh you did a thing where you talked a bunch of people before finishing Yeah yeah I'm in the middle of things We have to announce this though first before you leave babe So a lot of you guys

The most asked question is whether or not You created that our intro song The question is always like Who sings that intro song? I say well first of all I have a third thousand songs I write on my garage band. I've been trying to write other songs.

She doesn't like it. I love them. Because it's not as good as that one. That one I just came up with in a delirium, a delirious state. I have other songs I can write, but it's like, you know. But we're doing this now. Since you guys asked for it and since we have an opportunity to do our first fan giveaway, we are going to put our intro song.

What is it called? What's the title of the song? I don't know. It's called shadow gook. But I, since you're gookier than me, I was, I figured it should come out of your mouth. Shadow gook. It's called Shadowgook. And it's going to be on our website, the tigerbelly.com.

You can download it there. And the contest is, what are the contest rules, Gilbert? We're putting me out of the spot. I think we're going to, you guys have to make a video and interpret whatever Tiger Belly means to you and Shadowgoog. So just post that video on Instagram or on Twitter. Or if you want to do a YouTube and email. That's fine too. No, I think that it should be just a 15 second video.

We'll put more details on our Instagram. Yeah, I think that should be fun. And you can use the song however you please. No nudity. No, please nudity. No, please nudity. Everyone for listening. We'll put more of that info on Instagram for you.

I really enjoy doing this podcast. And I thank you so much for listening. And we appreciate you. When are we getting our first guest? And we're not going to get a guest right away yet. But who said he would do it? it the other day. Ike, Baron Holtz, a couple days ago said he wants to do it.

And I know I can get people to do it. So. But we'll start with our friends. We'll start with our friends. And then we'll move on. We'll start with Steve and hopefully Asa and Dave. Yeah, yeah. We'll work our way into other people. But thank you so much for listening.

Follow. Bye guys. Remember to subscribe to iTunes, rate, comment, and subscribe. I just said subscribe. I'm very tired. Follow us on Instagram. at the tiger at tiger belly Can you see my pubes from there? Jesus Christ

God can you see it? It's like a bush. Yeah right. I just got it waxed you're a liar. Excuse me, I'm doing the end thing. Twitter at the tiger belly. But can you really see my pubs from there? Oh my God, it's like Bobby's hair.

And God, you're fucking this off. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. www. The tigerbelly.com. You can email us at the tigerbelly at gmail.com. Adios. I have some rogue hairs on the side. They're spilling out of my shorts.

Lucea. Tusiaki.