TigerBelly - Episode 170: Erik Griffin & The Sopranos Ending

Episode Date: November 28, 2018

Bobo and Erik are SPUDS. We talk blackheads as a hobby, Theon Greyjoy, and the five final phone calls.Bonus content every Monday:https://www.patreon.com/TigerBellySupport us by supporting our sponsors! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Yo, what's up? Oh? Welcome tiger belly. What's he is this a mad TV sketch? Every time you talk dude it fucking infuriates. All right Is you're an hour you're an hour and a half. No, I'm not 30 minutes, okay? No, what time is it supposed to be here 45 minutes? Yeah, but wish no, I've been here like yeah Anyway, um welcome to another episode of tiger better barley episode what one one 70 something okay, but one 70 something every one of those is a stab in my heart

Yeah, yeah, we've got Everyone's in the room. Everyone we need is in the room. I desire we got Gilbert my beautiful, um, you know, Filipino flower Kaleila George is back in town from the from the country and then we've got my main man my number one Bryce right here. What's your last name Bryce? What is it? Cali cali cali cali. I'm just gonna call you Bryce from now on. I gotta say this is very impressive the Vacuum stand the vacuum stand very thank you

170 episodes get yeah, and also we're innovative You know, and that's also doesn't look cool though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, anyway, we got it We have a housekeeper was You know what I mean, we have a guest tonight that I clean 45 Bob's gonna gouge your eyes. I was I was 30 minutes late. Okay. Listen. I live in Culver City Okay, you live in the hills in Hollywood in your mansion, you know Oh, uh-huh this place. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you know, I just found out yesterday. I'm here Like so what I bet your money. Yes canceled on you guys and you guys went down to the roller decks

It was like I guess I bet you money if we said it we had fresh cornbread. You'd be here faster. Oh, listen to this guy First of all, cornbread is good. So I don't know what the hate I don't know what the hate on cornbread. Yes, we have our own version Hawaiian bread Hmm That's very good Doghouse you ever go to dog house never been to dog house dog house all their hot dogs There's one no, there's one And all their breads that you know that come is a Hawaiian bread just fatty bread. Yeah, I love it

So we have a guest that was three messes fine. Um, we his name. Yeah, he's got hairy knuckles. Um, okay So this is how we're gonna start it. Yeah, we can't just if you shave down a snuffle up, I guess Shave it completely down and just leave some hair on the knuckles of the snuffer. We got him right here Um, this is gonna be great now. Yeah, we got Eric Eric Griffin Um, would you been up to dog? You know Yeah, this is like every time I come on here, I don't give a fuck I don't give a fuck because you're 30 minutes late You've never been late to anything. Yeah, but I would never be let to you one of your podcast Yeah, okay. Wow, you have a great podcast by the way. What's it called? It's called Riffin with Griffin and there's 400 least listeners

Yeah, 400 subscribers right now. We just started about a month ago. Yeah, it's great It's time doing it with it takes time to build up. No, cuz Craig's too busy editing the worst stuff Yeah, we did a little pilot your brother's great on it. Well, it was a pilot Yeah, we did a little pilot like we're gonna try to do like a slash gaming slash sketches You know what I mean? So it's like and my TV meets like, you know, my brother's good on it. Oh, he's great Yeah, you're gonna be so jealous Why he's that good. He's Steve. I was like shocked how funny Steve is Steve's funny. Yeah, he was like improvising Yeah, my brother, my brother's funny. Yeah, he does it in an innocent way too. Yes from an angle. That's yes

I was like, oh, and he oh my god. So he has his dumb mustache. He wanted to have on. Yeah He's also a diva he was a fucking worse than me the worst Yeah, you're in you're the worst Yeah, how do you get worse than the worst? It looks so bad. He was like I have to have it I have to have we have to have the mustache. He would not let the mustache go Yeah, it looks terrible, but that's part of the humor But even when I was on mad TV, right? He was a diva really in a sense that like we were about to do it Like in front of a live on we rehearsed all week live audience. This is television

Hey, you just look at me and go. Yeah, I'm going home. I Go why you guys I'm scared. I want to do it. He oh he was gonna be on it He was on it a bunch of times I didn't even know that if you look at this some of the sketches I did a character named tank And he played my brother in it, but he played he lived like he lived in my the trunk of my car Right, so I would lift open the trunk and my brother would say things, right? A couple of takes if you see it on youtube, you can see me mouthing his dialogue

Oh my god, because he I knew I knew he was so nervous and I wanted him to succeed so bad That I would you may try to mouth it with him. He got it together. My brother's far more confident now. Yeah. Yeah, he really is Yeah, yeah, he's a good kid. He's all right. You closer to my brother and or me Um, you guys are both this weird energy for both, you know, like you think like I don't care how close you think you are to Steve Yeah, he's still like a scorpion. You know what I mean? Yeah, Steve's like having a pet snake if you don't feed it Yeah, it's gonna. It's you know what I mean? You put your hand in But he's still cool, you know, has he raised that on you lately or no? He does every now and then Rage. Yeah, he'll have a he'll his moments. Wow, but I think he's more in control of it now

Yeah, good. I mean, he's good. You love my brother. Oh, I love Steve Even though I'm tired of going on the road And people coming up to me like oh, I love you on Uh, you know, stevie weebie I get the fuck out of here. I've been on tv for 13 years In this this fucking podcast out of a one bedroom up not even a one bedroom Yeah This little shack is like and no offense to steve. No offense to steve, right?

It's no offense to steve at all, but it's just like come on man It's so funny because you you you do all this stuff like real like movies and you're on tv Whatever and then I'll get like I'll be at a coffee shop or a boba place and they'll go. Can we take a photo with you? I'll be like, yeah, and I go. What do you like me from he goes. Um, just kidding films Yeah, yeah Right and you go or I get a lot of hot the the pepper hot ones. Yeah, I came here to the show because the hot ones What is the new I did one five minutes Dude, I can tell you this I

After doing because I did Rogan's podcast, you know, I mean and then like That weekend I was at the Irvine Improv. It's the first time ever I got bonuses at the world Irvine Improv Like it's a crazy amount of business like I was in Canada. I was in Winnipeg Winnipeg is like the but the butthole of uh, Canada, you know what I mean? And I had people you saw that picture I took some guys came to the show with a tiger belly t-shirt on You don't want to take pictures with me. I'm like, what? This is your big credit now. Yeah, you know what I mean?

It's not like if conan just started a podcast. Yeah, but it's so Crazy that if conan came up to you was like, hey, you want to do my show you might be like Yeah You know, it's crazy, you know when rogan rogan said to me is like, um, you know He finally gave tiger bellies and props And he said, yeah, you know, you're killing you because I said I was on a tv show because why are you doing that? And I go because I don't you still want to be an artist. I want to be I want to work, you know He said, but you already have everything

You have your podcast people listen to all he doesn't really know you then What I know, but what I'm saying is is that he hasn't been over I could be in a different facility, you know, I can find it. I can find a facility But this is what we because this this is what makes it eccentric. Yeah, I know and this is what makes it, um special Yeah, the house we get people to come into this piece of shit to do this No, it's only because you your house has to be like a specific like it has to be done by like a chinese designer who was in a interming camp You know, this there has to be someone die in here. It has to be a ghost in the master bedroom

I want to I want to have a house if I'm if I'm gonna buy a fucking house, dude, right? It's gonna be I don't want to keep buying house like delia always goes Oh, he's just my I just bought a new house. Yeah, I got how many houses he has three houses now Wow, I'm not doing I don't have that kind of money. Yeah, I know if I buy one. That's it That's the root. That's why we're very being very picky. We have animals. We have to think of We've come very close and when we get it people are gonna be amazed by it. I'm sure you know What if you're not don't hype it up like that? Well, we haven't but if Eric walks in he's like this is a bigger piece of shit than the last one

Well, I'm sure it's gonna be a bigger piece But once you finish with it is what I'm saying I'm sure it's gonna start really nice and lovely and then you're gonna put stickers on the walls and you know There's gonna be I'm gonna make it my own four extra dogs that you really need I'm gonna make it my own my friend. I know okay, it's Steve gonna but podcast really is yeah. Yeah. It's a new thing Sorry, what these podcasts is a new thing. It's the new like, you know, you know, it's it's also here's another thing and people listening Is there is a feeling of family Those fans are different. Yeah, they are they really are are you being sarcastic? No. No, I agree. Yeah

And they have to be because if you're if you're listening to stevie weebie Yeah, I'm just saying like that's such a That specific a specific thing you're listening to him and then you're going on not only are you listening to him You're loyal and then you're going I want to go see the fans I want to go see the people that have been on that podcast Yeah, like you're coming to my show like oh I came because I heard you on stevie Yeah, yeah, yeah, like what's going on with entertainment now, you know, but you know We had to survive because of this new this new age of the internet and fuckers like this guy, you know, and you know

YouTube fucks like this guy from Makers, right? He's friends with cast and all these guys, right there. We have to compete against everybody now I know just know we have to compete against some random like 12 year old who's like opening up toys. Yeah Yeah, this is that's entertainment or a guy that like he gets She brand new he tries out new tennis shoes That's it and he opens up a brand-new pit packs of tennis shoes million hits as successful as your podcast is Do they ever frustrate you when you go on YouTube and like a chiropractor has 30 You know, it's like the most yeah, this guy's like hi, I'm I'm dr. Joe. Yeah, and then they just have somebody

You know, and it's like yeah, that's you know, I love extraction videos. That's my oh my favorite That's her, you know, I got my face extracted today, and I wish that she had filmed it Yeah, I just love I actually wanted the bigger the better in fact Eric I think that at some point in our lives There ought to be a place where you can pay money to extract blackheads out of somebody I would pay money if someone just gave me a face full of blackheads and a little extraction tool That I would be there for five hours. That to me is my Disneyland. Yeah or in grown hairs If someone would just give me all their in grown hairs. I don't even know what I don't care what part of the body

It's from horrible earwax earwax So good I want a camera. I want a camera in my ear and see what's going on Yeah, and they put the hydrogen peroxide so it clumps up and then they pull it out in one one big blob So good it makes me drool the shit out of your body must be chunky really. Yeah, yeah, like oh, yeah I like you like you're in shape It wasn't a weight attack Your way

Yeah, you would have chunky earwax is what I'm saying. What why? Why is my it does my ear look like it's any bigger than anybody else's ear kind of just say so if you see a big wall No, that's a big melon. Uh-huh a gigantic melon. Oh, so we're not talking about weight. So you're comparing me to a big melon I'm a big melon If I see a big melon, right and I open it up, there's not gonna be a little Meat in there. There's gonna be a lot of melon meat because it's a big melon. You have a very big head You must have chunky earwax. You're gonna have chunky earwax because you're Asian It's an Asian melon

People have dry wax Non-Asian people have wet wax. Yeah, mine's very dry. So his is not gonna be chunky yours is gonna be chunky Yeah, but yours is gonna be wet. You have in proportion. You have a bigger head. Okay, your head is it's it goes out to your shoulders You know what I mean? That's how big your head is it gets shoulders head. You know what I mean? So if we weighed our heads, yeah, you but proportionally to head no, no, not proportionally No, your head is big Body ratio is what you think that you my head is bigger than your head. Well, then I should just kill myself

Well, I mean you have a lot of Yeah, yeah, because let me say something right here. We go everybody Podcast but you don't insult me from beginning to end Okay, you mean thing you say. No, I don't believe nobody You know, buddy. Nobody believes when you walk it. I'm like Denzel. Oh Oh, yeah, can you admit this? No? Yeah, yeah, look at me right now, man. Look at me right now Listen, okay. I and I'm gonna say something so real. It's gonna bogger your fucking mind real. He says Hey, I'm what wait wait till I say it. Okay. Okay. Look at me. I

Fucking love you So fucking much. Okay. I really do like but No, there's no pot. Okay. I love you so much I not only do I think that you're super talented and I when I hang out with you I go, oh, I'm with a real legit comedy entity here. What's real skills? Oh, wow, right? Not I would trust you with my fucking life Okay, and I would never say that about really any other comedian like if I was in a situation with the Leah and I needed his

Real help. I think he would bail Well, he'd be on the phone But with you, dude, I love you. I think you're so talented and I People I've ever seen here. We go here. We got everybody there. That's all I wanted to get to right Is that can you can you that you your face is like an African? Mr. Potato head? What does that even mean what I mean? It's the same complexion as me. So why is it Africa? Please explain that bad. That's just you being a racist. I took it to a racist part Yeah, yeah, you're the actual size of a mr. Potato head. That's what you are. All right. Okay. All right, so let's just get that

So those are facts. I'm saying oh those are fat. This is like with friends like this. Yeah You can't open with a compliment and then take it all away with I didn't take it away I'm just telling you took it away thing, right? Oh, sweetie. I had it. So if you guys ever do a podcast together We'd have to kill you first You would name it spuds Spuds to potato body potato head. Yeah Yeah, you have a potato body you guys should do it. People see the head first though. No, but you're like a jack-o-lantern You know

Like a Halloween Asian jack-o-lantern I gave you all I gave you compliments galore. Tell me how you feel about me You know, it's you know what you're frustrating is what you're a frustrating friend. You don't call back You don't answer your phone. You don't text back. You know, you know, it's very annoying when we I feel like I'm close to you I try to be close to you and you don't reciprocate until we're like on a podcast That's the compliments. Yo, is that a compliment? No, this is me being your real friend. Okay, we're gonna give me the good stuff Give me the good stuff You go to you see the good stuff first and then you get you slam me with no no you slam with the bad stuff first All right, so that's about so no, no, I how much time we got

I Know Bobby, you know I mean come on when you get vulnerable. Yeah, I mean this guy's the worst I know I know one of the few comics is still watch your set. You know to me Yeah, you are right and I try really people leave. Yeah, when I go up and say people leave even industry No, I'm being real like I'll go. No, I'm being real. They'll go. Yeah, so-and-so is from here You know from this network. They're seeing the guy before you and I'm like, I can't wait to perform And then when I'm off the stage, they're gone completely the whole section's gone

You have to watch after that's better to go on after somebody that the industry's watching so maybe they'll catch They're in a mood to laugh Right, and then they'll be like, oh, what do you what kind of wallet do you use now? Just a regular old leather wallet like at old school like that. No, you know what I I stopped I used to think you had to carry every credit card in your wallet So then my wallet was like two inches thick, right, you know, and then I thought now If you lose this then you got to call every single credit card company. So now What do you do like I've done that I've lost my wallet where it was like I had to call the automobile club

I had you had to call smart and final And I was like this is ridiculous. You don't even know all the things you have in your wallet So now I just carry one credit card my ID and then now you don't even need that stuff really with your phone You know you can like pay you can go the ATM with your phone, right? So that so now I need to slim it down So I like this this is gonna just gonna be perfect. I finally got you a triple a membership Thank you. What is that? You don't have to leave your car in the middle of the Of the freeway like you. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well my car breaks. I'll just leave it there and he buys a new one the next day Yeah, it's still there

No, I did that one time, babe I did that one 20 years ago. Well, you threatened to do it a second time on my birthday two years ago And you're just let's just leave it here. Oh, yeah I have triple A. You're still not gonna call triple A. Yeah, no, I will because I you know You could go to triple a like instead of going to the DMV for a lot of stuff. Yeah, get your like registration Tag everything. It's like nobody nobody's in there. They're in there like come on. We offer so much. No lines. No lines. I didn't know that Yeah, the yeah triple a it's like so registration, but not licensed stuff No, you could do a lot. Yeah, you do a lot of there's a lot of little things you could do in there that I didn't even realize

You can do because I hate going to the DMV. Yeah, I should have so what about the social security? I I always drive by that in Burbank. What does that do? So just I don't know what they do in the social in the building. Yeah, there's a social security building I see people walk in and out of there. Well, that's like the federal building, right? Don't they do all the federal building shit in there? Like you can you can get your passport you can get like all that stuff Which you can also do a triple A No, yeah, you can get your passport and all that shit done a triple A. No, you can't yes, you can why there? I don't know a lot of agencies. There's a lot of places you can get your passport

I have no idea why it's so great at the triple A. Look this shit up. I don't know You're gonna do it at the post office. Oh, I didn't know nobody wants to go to the post office You know the post office you go to the DMV. I went to the DMV one time and like I saw the dude from Game of Thrones Which one? The guy that got his dick cut off the eunuch. Yeah You saw him there. Yeah, I saw him and I beyond Greyjoy Greyjoy. He was just standing there, you know, really like just in line And I was I was geeking out, you know, and this girl's next to me and I go Sir get your hand off me

Because I could tell she knew who the fuck it was too. Yeah, I was like, it's Greyjoy. Yeah She was like, I know and you're Montez from workaholic She wasn't as excited about that wasn't as wow you want to just take everything away, huh? No, but she was probably like oh and you're Montez from workaholic. No, I wasn't like that Oh, it wasn't like oh, you're the asian guy from that abc show Because nobody knows the character's name, I'm sure It's gonna get canceled. No, it's not gonna come on. It's not doing well. Nothing's doing well. What's doing well That is true. Nothing's doing well. I think it's just depends on what shows are you watching right now? I like

Uh, okay network shows. I like how to get away with murder I love how to get away with murder and then um my guilty pleasures are like They all got canceled though vampire diaries and originals, but now they gotta spin off of that called legacies Which is the kids of the vampires I love vampire shit. I read all the books. Have any of you guys seen the bodyguard on netflix? No It's the guy from it's rob stark from the game of thrones And he plays a very distressed. It's so good. It's only six episodes. It's so good Did you see the house of cards finale season? I heard my I heard it was really good. Oh, he wasn't really you need Kevin spacey

I'm sorry like they should have just canceled it. They should have been like, well, we're gonna we can't go on with this Because it's like his absence is so clearly like how they're trying to like scoot around it I would have been happier if rob and right would have just looked at the camera and did that thing that they do Yeah, he's a pervert so That's why he's no longer here and then we would have been like, oh, that's cool I break the fourth wall, but I don't know and then they ended it weird I didn't I didn't watch my sister kind of like that though Do you think Kevin spacey is ever gonna work again? Yes

You do. Yeah, yeah do if mary and barry can come back from crack Yeah, I think he's out forever. No, I think he'll like what producer is gonna use him He produces everything he does anyway Right It's his company. What's that? What's the name of his company? But like any movie you've seen that he's in it in the last like 10 years like the cat's one Yeah, if he has any kind if he has a significant role in a movie

Yeah, oftentimes he produced it and he's gonna produce stuff still people He just had he'll just make a another alias or something like that another company and then you won't even know it's like Kevin spacey Right, right, but he just won't be in it. He'll just produce it maybe now Or maybe he'll just be he should be a villain in a movie like just like a yeah, like he should play himself Yeah, I still think things out before maybe the shit that he's done I know but we have a we have very slow Bad memories people have bad memories. That's true people. It really it's so short very very short

Yeah, people are sure it's it's it's interesting because it's like um louis coming back, you know, yeah But he did play the seller Maybe six months ago and he got a lot the club got a lot of shit. He got a lot of shit because that's because he uh They surprised people like you can't just like if you it's a you have to be on a lineup Like if they would have had given people a week louis coming He's the special guest louis then if people that wanted to go see him would have shown up people that didn't want to see him Didn't show up if they would have dealt with the bad press ahead of time

And then he just showed up like as if everything was okay. He should just do his own show Let me ask you a different question if I because we you know, we're kind of close, right? If I was accused of kind of kind of close we're close, right? If I was accused of if I was accused Of something doing something like that right being like You know a rapist or whatever rightly or wrongly accused What does it matter in our society right now? No, I mean like as a friend as a friend You're saying I know your tone. Let's relax. I'm just saying just relax. Okay. Relax. Everything's fine. Okay

But if I was accused not that we don't know right, would you still be my friend? Yeah Because yeah, yeah, I would still be your friend. I think if something how about you gilbert would you still be my friend? Yeah, I mean the podcast went in, you know, what would you what are you accused of? um Flashing myself in front of dudes. Oh, well, that's already happened Let's make something more realistic Yeah, yeah, like that's what I'm saying. Like I think that yesterday to George if I heard if I heard that something inappropriate I would be like, uh, somebody probably misunderstood him. That's the first thing

Yeah, but he does it in such a non-sense. He's a nudist is what it is. It doesn't matter though people He just doesn't like to have clothes like yesterday. I put is that the pen that I put my penis on he hasn't washed it You have you watched it? No So that pen I I I put my genitals on that pen and he's still using it. I saw him just a second ago. He had it in his mouth Uh, deep dirty it over just it over you just do that with your pen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, touch your pen again Um, no, no, no, I would do the same for you. I think yeah, but I wow this this like we're sort of close I think Jesus no

It would like what we're missing in society is nuance, you know about things so you need to hear this story I mean if you've learned anything from what's happened in the past six months is you can't just be like We're on board with whatever somebody says is true. It's like it's not and we've come to realize it. It's not true Look at the Kavanaugh thing Two of those women have come out like yeah I was lying because I didn't want him to get elected to get get to the supreme court So, oh what happened to believe the accuser, you know that all that movement is gone. Nobody's even saying it anymore It's gone. It's gone gone gone because they know now you go. Oh, we can't just say shit like that

We have to like have some proof. Yeah some due process is all I'm saying So I would want to do process for you something have I would want to let me hear the story Where were you I would need to hear everything because I I know because this is how I feel about you I know I would hear within the story the misunderstanding Yeah, because I know somebody that you know, we all know that's heavily accused of You know that type of behavior, but this person I don't want to say his name Came up to me and he said Hey, man, I you know me

You know, I didn't do anything the perfect. That's always the line. They give you know me, you know me I didn't do anything. This is what I was telling you. I go, but the 50 women Yeah, it's out there. Yeah, not only that when we were in braya Yes, braya two women two women who didn't know each other who just happened to be friends in my green room I brought his name up and they all went oh, I have a story Oh god, right and I'm like what I know right and then you think you and then but if I see him, which I will I'll probably go. What's that? Yeah, but Bobby you would do that anyway Not knowing anybody's past. This is what I was telling remember we talked about this on the podcast before

We're not really friends with these people You know people right you know them we see just because you see somebody like you know Four hours and the way we joke and the way we're so open and like you know vulnerable and maybe like talk shit to each other Yeah, there's certain in a community to think that oh, we're really close But I told you when weddings come out when allegations come out When people have babies who's gonna be left who's gonna be left. Yeah, that's what I'm saying So it's like that person is somebody you just know maybe you respect and also don't fool respect Respect for somebody does professionally with being close or trusting their character. It's not the same thing

It's not you know, it's they did a um This is just a statistic right where I guess they did a poll on like a level of happiness so people that won The lottery Is less happy than people who were in massive accidents and you know where they were paralyzed from the neck down People that are paralyzed from neck down from an accident is far more happy than people that won the lottery Yeah, I need more data No, but I'll tell you why

One of them is because of the fact that you know who you real friends are You know like when you win the lottery people come out of the woodwork Yeah, right to ask for money and to be your friend But when you're in a An accident where your spine is fractured Your real loved ones come and feed you orange juice and help you go to the hospital and all that stuff So in many ways, um, if you won the lottery, what do you mean?

See that's to me. It still depends on the person because I know that if you won the lottery Nothing would change That's so rude Did the person who won 1.5 billion dollars come forward yet? Why would you come forward? I would know because they lose every day that they don't come forward. They lose like 90,000 not in that state Oh, no, North Carolina. No, North Carolina. You don't have to say oh in california. You have to say Oh, shit. Yeah, um So what you're saying is is that if I won the lottery that I would still live here

And I was still behaving the way I was. Yeah, you probably would yeah, you'd behave the same There's nothing that would change. Yeah, you would just spend more money on like candy crush and sim city in that It'd be like a platinum city, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna develop my own game Right, exactly. That's what that's what you go to the next level charge myself for the upgrades. Yeah Yeah That's what I'm saying So I just I think it depends on the people if you take somebody who's never struggled You take somebody who like and then they get all this money

They don't know what to do with it But if you've struggled and you've gone through some things and then somebody gives you all this money You have a different perspective on life And I think that that person might be able to handle the lottery differently If I want a billion because by the way that 1.5. Yeah, the the take-home was a billion if you got the Yeah, it was a billion to take home. I mean, can you imagine they're writing you a check So they're gonna write you a check for like 650 million dollars That's what you're gonna get you going down to bank of america and just putting in you know, that's like that's after taxes

That's after taxes. I'm saying oh my god Something like 600 650 billion a million dollars. I mean get out of here all of you all of you get terrified I would be so terrified. I probably wouldn't leave my room for a month and I don't blame that person for not coming forward I'm collect calling everybody Oh, yeah, collect call. You know, yeah, yeah, I'm I'm never gonna see you again I'm out of here. I would certain friends and that's it. Yeah, I think I would turn evil You would turn evil. I think well, you find things about people when they get money or when they're drunk That's their true personality. Bobby. Whatever. You're not you're gonna be the same weirdo. You always are

You have a lot of money now. I think we're the same accountant. I know you have a lot of money I call them up It's funny because when I was um, I was sitting around with the people on my show and Because we think a lot of other people think it's not gonna Continue. Oh, wow. How does that feel by the way? Can we come back to that? I feel okay And um, and we all said We'll never see each other again, which is true. Oh, you all agreed to that. Yeah

And I get so we all said our kind of I just looked at them. I go. It was really good working with you, man Oh, I know you're a good guy because I've been in things Well, you're even the guys at mad tv. They're who do I hang out with? Yeah I you know, I know jordan loves me I know that ike barenholz loves me, you know, I mean, but I just haven't seen them. Yeah, you know years dude I'm with you. I know exactly what you're saying. Yeah For me though, like at least with the workaholics guys, I still see them. I talk to them go to the games with adam So I feel like oh, I made real friends with these people. Yeah

Yeah, but like I'm dying up here, you know only the comics. I'm seeing andrew santino. Well, you know, that's only because you know I mean, yeah, that's the first time him and I ever like sort of bonded was because of the show But other than that, like I'm not seeing these people ever again, you know, you know what was sad, you know who it's like camp It's like summer camp. Yeah, we could be best friends forever, you know, yeah And then you never see him again, you know charlie. Um, what's it charlie hill? Mm-hmm the indian comic yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so there was an american indian comic by the name of charlie hill, right And he was big in the 80s. Well, he did like, you know, the tonight show or whatever in the 80s And then he just kind of fell off the mat. He started with a guy named mike binder. You know mike binder

He hangs out at the comedy store a lot And mike binder is a producer now what not and they hadn't seen each other in many many many many years And mike binder told me this when charlie hill was in the hospital dying He knew had not that much days left Right He called mike binder And they hadn't seen each other in years and then they talked about the old days charlie wanted To just reach out and and you know reminisce about the glory days

You know and it really I almost cried when who's your five called? Who's your five people you recall you're dying you have three hours to live in comics for the glory days Just like i'm just saying no no just if you have in general It would be like if you have to make how many calls you think you're gonna be able to make you wouldn't have to call me I'm by your side. Yeah. Yeah, she's there. Okay. Good. So, uh, you know what I mean? It's gonna be so sad You know, but okay. She's there steve's probably just left. You know what I mean? Where's the bathroom? Yeah steve's yeah steve went to the cafeteria, but he's in the hospital. Yeah, so you don't got to call steve I was I've always thought about doing this is writing everyone. I know a letter

So I would have a stack of letters To saying yeah, but you can do the letters on your off time. You this right you've already five five calls You've already sent the letters. You got three hours left three hours at five calls. You're gonna make. What's your five calls? You're gonna make I would call um Dan Erwin, fuck you. Okay. That's off the top. Why because you haven't said me yet. So go ahead Okay, yeah, that's fine. Okay for left I also want to talk about who he is. Okay, go ahead dan Erwin was when I was a kid Um, I went to a rehab

And dan Erwin was this older korean man Who showed up in the lobby? He had like long white hair. He had tattoos. He was korean santa Yeah, you know, he looked like from Mortal Kombat like shane song. Yeah, yeah He was standing there with his tattoos slim. He was definitely a kung fu teacher Yeah, yeah, and he came up to me goes, you know, I'm gonna be your sponsor Um, and because I had complained that to one of the counselors that are no koreans in AA that were, you know And then so they called dan and dan when I was in high school was my sponsor. Oh, and he I mean, I think about him all the time. He saved my life

He taught he told me, you know, so I'm okay with him being number one. Okay. Thank you. That's a good one. That's a good one That's a good one. I'll get this. Okay. The guy that saved your life The second one would probably be the kid from high school that just told us not to talk about him anymore on the on the podcast Oh, yeah, yeah, I don't want to say his no. I just say his name, right? Yeah, but everybody knows that this is another podcast It doesn't matter. He's he's not gonna get mad But there's this guy that I was very close to in high school and in my early 20s And he lives in LA and he's just one of those guys. I just never called back

Wait, hold on. You were in high school when you're in your early 20s. How dumb are you? No, no, no And my early 20s, you fucker. I was like, guys, yeah So this kid, you know, I he was a close friend of mine and I just you know, I haven't kept up with him in LA But I love him dearly and I would probably apologize to this guy My third one would be you Reluctantly says that

First of all, you don't have to say me, you know, I would go, hey, hey, hey, you don't have to say me You know why I'd be at the hospital with her Well, then there you go. Yeah, would you would be there? Yes, I would be there. You don't think I would be there I believe you'd be there. I think I you would. I think that he would wait. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on And I always know we're so close. He don't want to admit it But I know when something's wrong with you when you're at the store and something happens in the day Who comes up to you like what the fuck's wrong? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then you go you pull me aside This is what happened. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I know. Yeah, so you don't got to say me

You're also the only comedian if I'm at the store That says how are you? I'm being real. No one else by the way cares how I am Do you notice at the comedy store that it's not a place people grow anymore? It seems like it's a place people climb It's the worst, you know, it's like a lot of like clicky like climbing going on everybody's trying to get in there That's why I haven't been calling in. It's just crazy. Man. It's a crazy thing going on over there. I didn't even call in for tonight I have no reason not to I just like I don't want to go. Oh, wow. Yeah Yeah, because the thing I haven't called in the last couple weeks

I may have been busy, but like I've done two shows there in like three weeks I just I just don't like I just sometimes I feel like an outcast now. I feel like an outsider Yeah, I go there and I feel like, you know, I just feel like it's like these clicks of like it's like The people who have become like really famous and so they're over here And then you have the people that are like, you know under Joe Rogan's umbrella The podcast guys who are just like bro, bro, bro, and they don't you know, they're over there doing their thing Yeah, then there's like the open micro type guys and the guys that just got passed who were trying to fight and come up And then I just don't know where I fit in and then you don't feel welcome the delusional

Oh, well, that's that's the whole fucking delusional. Yeah. There's just one girl I'm not gonna say her name and don't say her name because I know you Who thinks she is the top? And she's not She's not same girl I don't say oh because there's one girl. I know Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's on stage she starts saying things and I'm like Yeah, or she treats me like I'm underneath her

Right and I want to pull her aside. You gotta stop talking about this. Stop talking about this Because do you and I gonna keep going and then we're gonna we're not gonna say her name If we keep going we are no, we're not. No, we're not Okay, I just want to see one last thing. Okay, go. All right I'm trying to protect you. I want to pull her aside and go high. How many times are we talking about Shit you said on here and I go Bobby go home and erase that you can't say that. I want to pull her aside and go Hi, yeah, yeah, remember look at my IMDb Compare it to yours

The end Bitch, isn't her energy. What is she just you can tell it's in her head a lot of times when people see That's that's not let's stop. Let's stop. Let's get another one of water. All right. All right. So you don't got to say me I'm at the hospital. So you still got five You got three more. You have three more. Yeah, three more. I have three more. Oh, yeah, my well Abby is there too then Yeah, there's people that you have to think of you. That's what we said name first. Who's already gonna be there Oh, yeah, that's right. Here's the people I need to call because the room's not that big. It's not that big Right. So so here's a good insurance. Here's who would be

If my parents are still alive it'd be them Yeah, my brother Steve Kalilah You Have to be Abby and Matt Matt would be there. Matt Blake. Yeah, Abby Leviton. My manager. They would be there. That's seven, right? Yeah And then um That's it. Yeah, I guarantee we'll be in the lobby for sure. Yeah. No, you're not gonna be there. We'll be

The lobby these guys are there. Yeah, because we're doing the all you guys are in the lobby. Oh, you guys are in the lobby. We're broadcasting. George is holding up ads for you while you're dying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Brooklyn and sheets. They're so soft You know what I would love to do is do the podcast while I'm dying. That's what I'm saying Right. So then you know, we're talking right and all of a sudden Yeah, that's the end of tiger belly. Yeah, all and then you don't even say no. I would totally take over I would be like If we do the podcast and you hear the beep don't let him talk I don't have the last word, right? Look at me right now, george. Right. Don't let him talk and just end it

Just turn it off. So the last thing people hear is the sopranos. This is the tiger belly. Sopranos ending Oh, is that what happens? Yeah, it just goes black and that's it. Yeah, that's what I want The sopranos I think that all of a sudden you like you hear like one of those like lamps You know, I think it's just me. Hey guys Look at a tiger She's all tied up Change the name like to tiger brotherly plus or something. Yeah, plus size He found a way you see how we found a way to bring a full circle to call me fat again

All right, but people who had called let's let's just be a couple more. I would probably call um I know who I would call mencia Whoa, what's that? Wow. What's that conversation? Yeah, what's that conversation? You're nerd I could I'm dying. Yeah This is your dying voice. Yeah, this is why your show's getting canceled, but go on All right, it's not believable. It's not believable. Let me do it. Try it again. No, you're doing a great job

No, let me try to get you are so don't don't think you you need to stop being so hard on yourself too, by the way Oh god So bro Right Yeah, no, I'm dying Is this is an anime scene we're doing? Yeah, I heard about a bra How much time do you love? I don't know And I would say thank you

For all your help boom enough to hang up the phone. There you go So Ned there and then um, would you probably Pauly? Oh, yeah, I was gonna ask Yeah, bro Chinese baby, baby. He'd put you on hold Right, you put me on hold and then there's like anybody comes back. You died during the whole music. Yeah, when he comes back How about you who'd be there who would you call the last five would I call that's a This is a morbid fucking. I know I'm just trying to think of what I would call this I'm trying to think if there's anybody in comedy. I would call

Comedy, you know, I don't know. I think I'd call you knew you'd have to call who would I have to call? I'm mad. I'm mad. I was just thinking that I probably would have to call him even though I I'm probably that would be the only reason to ever talk to him again would be I'm on my death bed But I would call him and be like I had you know, I had some significant times in my life where Coming up in comedy where he was around, you know Yeah, like the first time I ever started doing comedy, you know, and he had to show a cues billiard Yeah, he did help you a lot. Yeah, and then like so that time and then like going to the middle east and other kind of

Yeah, just like and he's the reason why you and I are close Yeah, exactly because we I didn't know him until I mean I knew of him But I didn't really know him until Eric and I and Sebastian Monoscalco, but you don't let anybody know you went to the middle east That was no because that's how you're a tough nut to crack. Yeah, but that's how Sebastian. I went to his wedding That's how it's Sebastian are close. You know, I mean him and I aren't close because I didn't go to his wedding He loves you though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that's why and then what you did that gesture you did on the plane Yeah, I get you so I would he would be number five probably, you know, the yeah

I would I want to hear that conversation No, you know, you know what I'm sure it would be fine because when you're around death Right. I'm just saying when you're around death, you ever like I had my great aunt died Yeah, she they brought her from the uh central america from belize, you know And she was in a death bed and she and she called for my mom and me and My family's like not close There's just been a lot of issues and problems and I was glad that I got to On her final hour. She's telling me like her regrets and being like, I'm sorry that this happened and you know, please

Let you know trying to tell me to keep the family together and that kind of thing So I was like, wow, this is a powerful moment in your death. You have this clarity You know, so I just think that if you're about to die, what's the point of holding on to grudges or anything like that? You know, there's nothing there's no point I don't need to unless you're just a dickhead like tupac, you know what I mean or you're not going to tell You know, you know, you know the story when he's shy He's about to die and the cops say who did this and his last words were fuck you and then he just died You don't want to be that, you know what I mean? He didn't read anybody out. Right. Didn't read anybody out

But at that point I'm right. I'm telling everybody So I just not really not that few people I would even Consider calling man. I don't I don't know because it's it's just I'm trying to think of people some people from high school my buddy James, you know But it's just like I'm just I don't have like a lot of moments like that Yeah, you know what I mean? I don't have a lot of like what a sad This thing has turned so I know looking sad. Well, we're deep like that. We are yeah This doesn't always have to be like laugh them up laugh them up

Yeah, but before but but you know before you I just want to let you know that You know, I love you man That's so hard for you to say. I know the way his hand is shaky. Yeah Yeah, we gotta make that a meme. You know, somebody says I love you like, you know, yeah, I just want to say Not quite sure. It's hard for me to say this. Yeah, he always prefaces all insults with I love you Yeah, that's how that's the only time you'll really hear it. Let's not get your relationship shit in this right now No, I mean even that's just how he does it. I love you and there's always a but Afterwards. Yeah, why is that? I love you, but don't stop breathing. Yeah, but I don't think that you're because you didn't have a

Necessarily a affectionate family, right? I did. So your dad was like, hello, you son and your mom He was very violent and a drunk No, but he was also There were moments where he goes, I love you and he would kiss him on the cheek I know your mom was very affectionate. My mom's very affectionate as well, but she was also very violent Oh, wow. So I got but we're Korean. I think that's cultural a lot of it. I don't think so. Yeah I think that's like a convene excuse cultural people always say I know I always go to other Koreans. Did this happen? I think I got

Also, um, like Jessica's family, they never say I love you to each other ever She's never heard her parents not once say it to her my entire life You know, I get my Filipino girlfriend from like, you know years ago. She was very much like not used to like affection Really? Yeah, she wasn't like, you know, she was like my family's not like this, you know, because I'm very affectionate, you know I heard the thing the way to show love was to be like buy things Mm-hmm. That's very actually the opposite of Filipinos because Filipinos are very verbal and very affection and very touchy That's what I'm saying. So I was it was just so you're right. It's sometimes it is. It's not always cultural Yeah, yeah, just like thinking whatever happens in your family. You still with your girl. Yeah

Wow, what? It's going on 17 years. I know, but I'm just can't believe it Yeah, you guys living with each other yet? No, no, no, I'm not I would never you guys are still Bobby shut up Bobby shut I No, no, no, but I I'm closer to it, but I need to there's just things that I yeah, I don't you know, it's like is I want to buy a house. I want to I'm always worried about my career. I always think I'm never going to work again

Well, that's we all feel that way. So I'm just like never ending thing Yeah, so I have to like but I need to make sure that I'm like make sure that I can't you're gonna be fine Well, I just feel like that, you know, I have to keep I gotta keep let's switch up gears. Are you you playing any games? Yeah, I'm still playing destiny You don't play you're not a red dead or no, I don't want to play a game that It's gonna be done and then I never get to play it again. No, I mean, I'm kind of saying right now Dude, this game is not that kind of game. Yes, it is. No, it I don't I can't see an ending It's gonna end. I know, but it's beautiful. Okay. Well, you know what? I'm gonna wait. I'm not gonna stop

I'm not gonna pay $99 for it. I'll wait. It'll be $32 in like six months and I'll play it master Okay, I'll still play you want to give me the disc. Um, did you download or do you have the disc? I downloaded it like exactly civilized human being. I totally agree with you. Yeah, people with DVDs What about this if I bought it Oh, yeah, and I sent you as a gift put my address down. No, I because I buy my brother games So I'm gonna buy the game on my xbox. I'll play it. I'll send it to you. You'll get it Yeah, and you will play it. Yeah, but I still play destiny. It's still a fun game with my brother Yeah, because that's why Steve your brother hits me up

That's why Steve won. At three o'clock in the morning and he's like, uh, you know, his girl's gone. He's like, yeah, she's She's in Carson wherever she lives, you know, and then we just play and your brother's just like he still loves it I love Steve Okay, he's just Such an oddity, you know, just the way he deals with things, you know, and so I and I appreciate it It's just you know what I'm saying Like I said, he has a way of dealing with the world that I would love to see how he sees the world Weird with money too. Oh, he's weird with money

everything Yeah, Bob. So, um, you know, I I'm paying George and Bryce, but um, do you think it's too much? I'm like Yeah, but he'll be like that about He'll be like that about the guns on destiny, too. Yeah. Yeah. He'll be talking about like this a gun like yeah He's guns good, bro. I don't know about this gun. Let me see this guy And so I appreciate like uh, there's like a was that too much to say there's a cut that out No, no, no, George knows he's overpaid

He has weirded with guns and stuff too. He's just weird with it So yeah, yeah, so we still play that game and then we got the worst fire worst fire team ever Don't forget about that podcast God, I almost didn't say it. They gave me so mad at me I went on rogan and didn't mention it and then that's that's even I thought about that by the way What did he say? How'd it go down? How did it go down? He's like, you know, you know, you know, bigest podcast, you know, he just

Steve just was red zoning on me about this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Oh, why we were live Wait, Steve is back on worst fire team. Yeah. Yeah, he came back. Well, he's he's he's like our I don't know. He's like a like a segment and now we're backwards. You know, it's like Yeah, yeah, yeah Do you so is that successful? Is that killing it or what? No, dude, but it's like we have nerds. Yeah, we love doing it You know, you only play destiny. No, no, no, we're playing seat call the duty right now. We love that. Oh, you are blackout Yeah, we play blackout. Yeah, we play that a lot

And I play basketball on there. Yeah, I'm just happy that I don't do that anymore, huh, babe? Do what play destiny and with those guys and all that stuff. Oh my god The reason he doesn't text you never hear from him. He's so deep into red dead or whatever dumb game so deep He was really deep on stardew too That no one can penetrate stardew valley Stardew it was a farming farming simulation It's the boy it's a beautiful game. No

Yeah, it's a beautiful game. Yeah Listen, let me ask you something. Let me ask you something. Fuck you fat man. None. What the fuck you? By the way, I'm so sick of people coming up to me I'm so sick of that That got people to come Have to go like this What a punch people in their face. Oh super cloud city. Are you standing up? Yeah, let me see. It's still so little. Um, no, no, bobby. What I don't care what all these games you're playing

Yeah, you know, you know that none of them none of these games experiences are as fun as you me and steve Playing destiny at five o'clock in the morning trying to beat prison of elders Try to sit here right now and tell me that you don't miss that that that wasn't the funest time you've ever had There is something to it There is something to you me and steve Yeah, the original running around running around. Yeah trying to survive Fighting trying to get this thing and there's a feeling of Defeating quadron. Yeah. Oh the accomplishment that we felt together as a team going to bed at seven o'clock in the morning

Six in the morning. We beat quadron. We did it. Yeah, there is something to that. Yeah, you're right. There was nothing like it Yeah, but you know what? I can't do it anymore. I can't I understand you don't gotta look at her. We get it Yeah, I cannot do it anymore. Okay So, um, um Yeah, I mean, dude, maybe when I get a house you keep saying this and I and I have a room on the other side of the You know, I mean you keep the house where she can't hear my yelling No, I get it. It's it's my problem. My problem is I get so emotional all of us were emotional Yeah, I throw controller because we were doing something

We were it felt like we were doing something like even though it's so silly It's just a video. Can I say something though? But by by by stepping back from it and not playing it for years You're not missing it. No one knows about it. It doesn't it doesn't fulfill you. It's not about the game I'm saying we don't play anymore Like it doesn't matter what game we were gonna play we try to get into star wars. You were gonna yell It's still gonna happen. Like we were gonna get there with star wars the problem with star wars. It was boring It's like the same thing over and over again. You know, like like those missions is like, okay Are you gonna have another mission? But that shit was fun, too

But if we would have kept playing that the same thing would have happened. It's not destiny destiny's not the problem We are the problem Okay, if we were when we're playing at a competitive game, like it could have been fifa Imagine it would have been worse if we were playing fee it's still bad when we played fifa. Yeah, you know, so bad Oh, here we go. That's why who usually wins. No, it's it's not for sure 100% It's not we can we can play now, bitch. What are you talking about? I don't have the new one. I'm playing red dad. Yeah, see I didn't buy the new fifa either for the same reason I was like, I don't know what with that game though specifically

It's it's like it's the same game over and over again. It's just it frustrated They try to they have to change it every year which one fifa. Yeah, I know they can't buy this game So they make it more slippery or they make it more difficult to do Oh, they go. Oh now you can do this. It's like I want I want fifa 13. You can control your toes. Yeah I don't want to control the toes. I totally agree. Yeah, I'm done. I'm done with that game too But the reason why we have fun playing sports games as we play then we had this win-loss thing against each other We're not working together But then we after a while we're like, okay, I'm done. I can't play anymore. But that's just oh here's another question

Did you see her editor yet? I have not seen it yet But I want to see it because you're into garbage horror movies. No, I'm not I'm not into garbage horror movies. Did you go to the theater to watch the nun? I did Wait, that's what my point though. No. No. No Bobby That trailer for the nun was the scariest shit. I've ever seen in a movie because it was surprising They got in trouble. They got in trouble because it was so scary. Oh, yeah, like you're just all of a sudden It's like, you know, you know, you think you're a horror movie. The hereditary trailer is scary. No, I'm not like this Did you see the hereditary trailer? No, no, Bobby not like this trailer. I saw the trailer. It's not scary like this

That's that trailer was scary. Like, you know, suspenseful scary This shit was like a fucking nun came out of nowhere and you didn't expect a shit and the whole you put a nun in white makeup And that's scary to you. Yeah They're generally white as it is. No, but this was First of all, did you see the nun? Yeah, I bought it just now So garbage is the really bad. Yeah, and I'm telling you that the hereditary is the I'm gonna watch it. I just haven't had a and you haven't seen it yet. No, I haven't had a chance to like watch it

Um, I was gonna watch it on the airplane. How hunting in a hill house. You see that one? No, it's a tv show on netflix Oh, it's really good. Really? Is this scary? Yeah, it's so good. You love it. It's just a really good like drama too. Yeah, maybe I'll check it out You're not gonna watch it. I just have so many shows to watch. You know, I can't We should go watch that one movie because Steve was telling me about it. Suspiria. Yeah, they've already he already went to go See it. He said it was pretty good. Oh, you saw it. Fuck it. Fuck it. Did you see it? No, let's go see it I don't think that the last see this is another thing too. We do when we do things together. The shit is heightened Okay, don't you understand that like when we watch remember that one scary movie we watched together

We almost walked out because the shit was scaring the shit out of both of us That moment there was nuns in that one too and the fucking the girl was like What movie was possessed by the devil? I forgot the fucking name with that one It was there were like an exorcism going on and body's like I'm putting my shoes on we got to get out of here Oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna get comfortable at the theater. Oh, I get really comfortable. What are we doing? Uh, Eric Griffin's always over an hour. Is that where you're at right now? Oh shit. May she listen to riffin with griffin Go subscribe to me too. You know riffin with griffin riffin with griffin

I'm gonna have bobby on I just not not doing a guest yet because I just want to build up some episodes It's just me doing my thing and I you will be one of my first guests because people always ask me about it all the time Yeah, I like doing I have good chemistry. I have good chemistry with you. I have good chemistry. I tell you spuds I have good chemistry with santino. Believe it or not. No, I know I saw you went on his podcast first because he asked me You fucking fuck um Everyone fine in the room. Yeah, okay I would love to talk about red dead, but um talk about it. No big but but it's you can send it to me

I'll play it myself and then we'll see I'm literally gonna buy it tonight and send it to you We'll see you know, you're not. Yeah, but I really am and then here's the thing about red dead though real quick is is that the first 45 minutes of the game. Yeah, he's boring as fuck because you have to kind of do this tutorial Story, but after you're done and you saw how fallout fell off out of way 80 down from the last fallout Oh 76 not doing so, huh? Yeah, yeah, because it's because it's not it's an mmo now Yeah If if fallout was what it was which is what the red dead is which is a single player adventure

It would be the number one game. It would have buried everything, but I don't know what they're fucking trying to do Don't change it trying to candy crush everything. Everything's about like playing with other people and spending money on outfits Wow. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, fortnight and all these just is free But people like I don't spend a dime I never would buy fortnight. Then they're like they spent $600 on like but I got these cool shades that Character plays, you know in like, you know Elvis outfit that was like $26. Yeah, like in like there are some games where It's fine. You don't have to buy anything, but you'll jump higher If you spend three dollars. Yeah. Yeah, but I I can't get up there

Without three dollars. I'm so sick of the games. I play on my phone and iPad like I'm still playing boom beach and I'm playing This is a game called empire and puzzles. Oh, no, I play word scapes. It's free. Yeah It is mine. No, that's not true because sometimes you do you have the option to buy Puzzle games. Yes. Yeah. Oh like kami too. Have you ever seen that one? Oh my god Anyone out there listening that plays empire and puzzles It's a little game, but if you are playing I kind of want to change um teams My team it's called one of these people. Yeah, it's my team

They don't they don't give me any. They don't know what I do for a living. I need that to happen I still my city is so bullshit. I every time I go to it. I'm like, I can't stand having to buy meat You know I haven't seen my city in a year and a half You were on that hardcore You could you could have bought a real house with the amount of money you'd spend on that game Oh empire and puzzles worse. Yeah, what Clinton had to call him and put a stop to it. I still haven't stopped Anyway, we have a question. Yeah, we got one question. What is it on hopeful advice with bobby carila and eric griffin

Hey tiger belly. I recently got married in vegas in secret. What just happened? I've told I've told about three people, but not my parents I brought up the idea of marriage to them, but they instantly go in a rant about saying I'm too young and not ready. My anxiety has been real bad lately I think because I'm holding in such a big secret for my family always too young and not ready So my question is should I tell them about it or wait? Wait it out till I fake a proposal and get married at home. Thanks, hannah. I'm 24 Yeah, you're too young

How long has she been dating the guy? Do we know any other information? It's the same. It's the same thing as it always is hannah You know the answer exactly if you have to ask me to weirdo Yeah, like if you know that you if you know you feel bad because you didn't tell your parents Because you didn't make the a thing out of this if you know that you feel bad about that then you know the answer And I think you should come clean answer go to your parents and be like I love this person I know you don't like him or whatever the reasons are and be like look. He's in my life. We did this I feel bad about it. I want you to be a part of it. Let's have a wedding

I want your blessing and if they say no you then you know that they're not on the same page with you And then just go be with your husband and move on with your life We need something a different question Hey, I was driving on a dirt road and I was drunk And I killed a family of seven. I hit an immigrant a mexican man who was illegal And he died on the side of the road. What do I do? What do you do? I mean jesus, I mean pretty obvious No, well, they're not calling us like he's not calling tiger belly on the side of the road. Like he's dying. What do I do?

No, they already took off. Yeah. Yeah, so now they're saying like what do I do now? Yeah, what would you do? Oh man, that's a tough one I mean I've already gotten away with it Yeah, you've already gotten away. We got away with it. That's a hard one, man. Here's what it is. He's here illegal No, that would be tough. It would be tough if I've already gotten away with it And I already made a horrible choice and I'm like, why do I what I'm going to compound this horrible choice by now Going to jail for the rest of my life. Would you be I think I would have already done something Would you be able to live with it? It would be hard. But would you be able to do it?

I don't know. It would be I would I probably wouldn't say anything But I think it would be in my head for the rest of my life. It would haunt me It would eat away with you. Eat away. Yeah, but I don't want to get butt slammed in fucking prison. Oh, yeah You're gonna be just I know you're gonna be farting like this. Hmm. Yeah You get a soccer game. Yeah, it's gonna be like a crystal goblet. You know what I mean? Yeah Yeah, I just mean to this gigantic open cavern. Yeah walking around the millennium falcon's flying in and out, you know, I mean Yeah Yeah, yeah, I'll be hitting stages on your colon like I think this is a lie. Yeah, I fart Batman and Robin fly out

Yeah, it would be just a lot about your butthole today, but you know what dude It's uh, you have a second. I want to let's play this scenario about me being in prison getting fucked in the ass Okay, okay, um fantasy not a scenario fantasy a fantasy First of all, you'd be too needy and clingy and then like after one guy had you as a as a little bitch for like But after six months. No, then it would just be like people would be like ah stay away from him. He's a weirdo It wouldn't last no, I would be somebody's you know, or I would go. Hey, can I get a pack of cigarettes at least? Like you would barter, right? No How good do you think your booty is? Listen to this guy in prison. He think he got top of the line

In prison my little you say people gonna be lining up on yourself like I gotta go get that ass. Have you had the Asian ass? Not only that you don't know what I would do what I would do is drink lunch Like we got a little stick of butter. I would stick some butter Where I put in my pocket and I would just put them all over my butt cheeks to make it look shiny Oh But bent over you probably look like a girl anyway, so And you give me another question or no, hello urban bobby. Yeah, what's that? I'm having trouble with race Ah, yeah, yeah, and shadow urban bobby. Is this a thing? Yeah, give him a little. I'm doing Asian Eric

Do it do it I don't know Most of my friends are not the same race as me It's been this way my entire life and I really don't mind it because my friends are generally awesome people However, they believe something about me that is completely untrue when I met most of my friends in college They made the same assumption many people do that I'm white. I have freckles and lightest curly hair and my skin is very fair But I'm not white at all. I'm black race doesn't mean much to me It's not like I would ever introduce myself as a black person

Plus friendship is also about liking who other who the other person is not what they look like I know I should distance myself from them or at least tell them to stop or even tell them that my race is the only problem is Is that one of my older friends has been introducing to me is to so many people in my field And even arranged for me to get an amazing salary job Chicago after graduation Should I tell my friends that I am black now? Wait, are they are they saying things around her that are races? Oh, wait. Yeah. Yeah, sorry. I missed that there. Um, they started making awful comments about black people in front of me Oh, okay. That's interesting. Should I tell my friends that I'm black now or wait until after I get my job to really put my foot down Yeah, thanks for your help a troubled. So the racist friend is offering them a job job. Yeah, it's like in CNN

What's that? Uh, it was at Burnett. Which one's the one that's black that you can't tell Aaron Burnett. Aaron Burnett's black Is she? She could be. Yeah, wait, I want to look up Aaron is Aaron Burnett. I got to look it up Can I jump in on this one? Yeah jump in jump in jump in You know, it's funny because like even on I'm dying up here Like the character was dealing with something sort of similar in a sense that like if you're like if you're a person of color And you hang around with a like all white people, you know, there's a certain familiarity you have Like did these people also have with you that they think it just happened to me and even in my life? Because I was like upper middle class type of thing

You know, I went to Brentwood when I was a little kid, you know, so I was always around white people and I'm fair skin So you but you know, it's just kind of feeling that people think that they're comfortable With you and then until something happens and all of a sudden you become whatever race you are, you know what I mean? Yeah, all of a sudden I oh, yeah, that's cuz you know, so this is a weird thing It's like this person's trying to come across people that say like I don't think about race. Yes, you do Like you that's you thinking about race. This whole question is about because you're thinking about race So I think that person should just own who they are with their friends Yeah, like the fact that they don't know shows me that you have a big problem with race

Like just because you were able to assimilate into the you're with your friends and enjoy that You know, it's like You sometimes not everybody gets that luxury, you know It's like somebody who's like in the closet gay or somebody that's like, hello You know, they don't get to they don't get to like be like act like nothing's going on So that's what this person's doing. So they should have come out from the jump I've been like and if you hear that you go, whoa, whoa, whoa, you know, I'm actually this then that predict people are going to be like Oh, I didn't know you should have pumped the brakes right when they said something when the first race is common

Yeah, it's like or but so you get comfortable. It's nice. It's a it's a nice feeling to act like you don't care about it But we're clannish. We're clickish. If it's not race. It's going to be something. It's going to be social We're tribal economics, whatever it is, you know, short people are going to congregate together tall people fat people whatever it might be Your your your group never seems to feel good enough And so you like search for a different group or you stay within your group and you just feel comfortable It's not necessarily wrong with it. But it's like also you have shitty friends for make who make fucking Racial comments. Yeah, but here's the thing though like as a comic I know how that if if everybody heard every conversation that bobby and I have in private

They would think that we're terrible people, but you're also talking amongst each other Well, that's what that's what these people are doing but they were talking about other people. They're talking about black people in general It's not Aaron Burnett. It's not Aaron Burnett. They left it up. She's a white woman. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah It's soledad O'Brien. Oh, but soledad O'Brien does look black to me. I never thought she was let me see her Yeah, she's black Yeah, she does babe. It's not about my mom looks like that Yeah, but if you if she but if you she was hanging out with you, you wouldn't you in your head go she's black

Yes, I would I would have a I would know she's not, you know, there's another one that's pure brand There's even there's another one. That's even more white. Yeah Anyway, she got I'm wrong then No, but there's what I'm saying is this person has enjoyed the freedoms of like going in and out of the two worlds and You would like to feel like it doesn't matter, but it matters And also if they're your friends like they've never spoken about your parents and they've never seen pictures of you growing up Yeah, what are you ashamed to be like? Yeah, who's got to as my thing is who's got the real problem? At least your friends are not letting you know how they you know, this is I they joke about these things

Yeah, but it doesn't mean that her friends are racist. It's just that when you feel like you're amongst people you're comfortable with You might say some things that are inappropriate, but what I'm saying is when those things get out It is on you to apologize It doesn't have to you don't have to attack a person's character to be like Oh, you're the worst person in the world because you said this about these people No, you just said something out of pocket Someone heard it you should apologize. You know and she this person didn't give her friends the opportunity to be like Oh, my bad. And now you're sitting here feeling these feelings about your friends when that's on you

Boom Eric mic drop Right. Anyway, um, thank you for coming. He's over there. Yeah It's like you can't have a real conversation with this guy. Let's we're on air. Thank you so much Thank you so much for coming. What are you doing tonight? Are you going to the store? Yeah, I'm gonna be at the store tonight Um, you know usual like bullshit time. Yeah, whatever it is 10 or whatever it is, you know, thanks for you. You also, um Helped us out because we we needed a really good guest in an emergency situation. Also. No one dropped out This is supposed to be a solo episode, but we thought that we would we would rather have this doesn't come on until next week Oh, yeah, but um, I've read the comments people are like, uh them again

How many times have you done it now? This is third time your third time everyone asks for you Yeah, you're a regular you'll always come here. I got it. We love you so fucking much here. I love it Like I say, I'm gonna get I'm once I start doing my guests. I want you to come on with me and then we'll uh figure it out I'm just growing right now. It's a slow build. I'm just talking about different things and it's like, you know I feel like in this day and age you have to have an instagram Uh, uh twitter and a podcast to be a successful comic now. So it's just part of the business But it's but our generation that we were able to grasp it quickly like, you know You know guys like argus hamilton or that generation of people they can't there's just too late for them

They can't have an instagram I know but even but see that's funny you say that because even our generation of people who are like, you know 40s and stuff they're having a trouble Understanding that entertainment has evolved To like where anybody, you know, you can have anybody who's an instagram star youtube star They have value there's value in that and then they're also coming into comedy clubs and doing that stuff too Like this podcast is reaching more people. You have a bigger reach So the fact that there's people like I say to bring a full circle that are coming to my show

Because they're like, oh man, I love you on tiger belly. That means we've connected. They've heard me on here We talk about certain things and now they're like, oh, I want to hear this this person make me laugh. Anyway, um, thanks for having He's a shit, huh? Thanks for coming by. We love it Eric, what are your hands? You're one of our favorites. Oh, I want to punch you in your face Sometimes any road dates. No, I'm in town for a little while. And what's the next road date? I don't even know. It's probably like boston in february. Thank you for coming One more time. Where can we find riffin with griffin? on youtube

YouTube air graphic comedy This says more about you kyle. I like how can you put up with this for so long. She's on her last nerve I don't She's on her last nerve Oh, I know she sits around sometimes. I'm just like, is this worth it? You know what I mean? She struggles with it But something in her head goes. I know because your dick is so little like what's the upside here. There really isn't one But you'll realize that don't know what the upside is. You'll realize it The other options are really not much better

Yeah, wow. Are you living in a closet or something? No, I don't know. Did barbie let you go outside? I let's suppose I go out and I meet people and I do all the time when I do go out and let's say men hit on me They're just such fucking duds and uninteresting and not funny and yeah, even they're even though they're attracted They just don't tickle me the same way more attractive than barbie. Do we do here's the thing by the standard Excuse me. Excuse me. We're talking so So you see a guy and you're like, wow, this guy's tall and broad shoulders and he could probably walk in my world For example, and when I went to vegas with my family, there was a guy. He was a lawyer for the 49ers And he was he went to harvard

Fuck it black guy with green eyes. Just the most amazing looking guy. I got you No matter what he said or did To try to woo me, right? He just didn't make me feel the way barbie did when I first met him So you didn't feel creepy and uncomfortable I'm looking for the other thing. You feel like you were like, I need to call them please I feel sweaty and nervous Like the other day we were what are all the feelings that barbie makes you feel I just want to know We're watching the voice a couple weeks ago

And we laughed so hard right you're crying crying because I made a joke about a contestant right You said what did you say? No, yeah, well, wait, it was a guy that was on the show who we were like is that a guy or girl Right. I hate that. Yeah. I hate that too. Oh And I said to her, you know where you know where you can find his penis. She goes where inside his pussy And for an hour for an hour we laughed We couldn't breathe for an whole hour It was a dumbest joke

But he looked like a guy that his dick would be inside his pussy guys I just want to say and this is now here's a I finally have a compliment for you. Yeah, okay You are like literally one of the funniest people I've ever met like for real like you go on stage And I'm sitting in the back like I'm not gonna laugh at this fucking set again Right. Yeah, I could do your set. I know I'm mouthing it in the back But I'm still laughing and I'm mad at myself And it's because of how funny you are. So this is it right here. You are so funny That better looking, more attractive, successful men, probably bigger dicks, you know, just better looking the eyes are green

None of that compares to how funny How you make her feel with your laugh with how you make her laugh. I mean that is saying a lot right there. Okay. Wow That's a friend right there. Yeah, man, I gotta give it to you And also go to our patreon.com tiger belly to get some extra bonus content We're almost at a thousand members. Help us get there and if you want to send us any packages You can do that at 1626 north wilcox avenue Number 161, hollywood, california 9008. Have a good night Prime members you can listen to tiger barely ad free on amazon music

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