TigerBelly - Episode 173: Andrew Santino & The Red N Yellow

Episode Date: December 19, 2018

Bobo recaps Arlington. Santino wants a baby in Chicago. We talk missed baseball opportunities, airline indulgence, and shitty children. Bonus content every Monday:https://www.patreon.com/TigerBellySupport us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery plus Are the cameras on everything's gone the what I'm saying to you is is that when I start the podcast Have you started it now? No, I wouldn't know because he's gonna do the countdown. So don't say anything until I say your name Because I got to say welcome this and that and all that stuff. Do you but it annoys me in the comedy world You know that you saying to me don't say anything Basically is saying say something you have to you okay. I know in the comedy world that that's real But this is not the comedy world, but it literally is It literally isn't it literally isn't and the thing is is that

It's actually the only thing this is This is not anything all right. All right George. You're this close to getting kicked out of the room All right, I'm being fucking real dude. I won't I won't fucking right now You're really pissing me off by cackling like that like a hyena. All right, and you too Gilbert Sorry, I'm being real. All right, and this is really pissing me off right now, dude I promise I will cut my mic then. No, it's not cut the mic. All right. I'm telling you right now If you even if I hear a fucking breath out of you, right before I introduce your name Yeah, I will literally shut it down. I don't fuck cuz we have this is a backlog the one name

We know this doesn't come out for two weeks. I'll get correct for her get somebody else to fucking do it I'll get alley Wong or something to do it. All right, so what I'm saying to you right now You're gonna threaten me with fucking alley Wong. No, no, no, don't I'm just kidding the joke. All right. Go. So all right. Thank you I do it five four three two One a beautiful day. It really is to me. Yeah It's a beautiful day. It really is to me. Yeah

Walking on the path Seeing the flower Seeing the bodies fly on my head I'm walking down the street with me Holding each other Doing it right Doing it wrong Yeah

Welcome to another episode One more time One more time I'm walking down the street With my six Oh my god What was the inspiration? I just made it up. It was so good. I love it. It's a hit. It's a fucking hit. Oh my god

That was a song call I wrote just now called walking down this street with my friends Listen guys, um, welcome to another episode of tiger belly. Um It's been a really interesting week for me. Um, great stuff interesting stuff. She experienced stuff Um, we you know, we did a podcast last week. It was a patreon where I almost killed everyone in the room and went to a red zone I'm not apologizing for it because you guys deserve that. So that was in you for you in your face And I'm going to tell you right now. Fuck That you almost got me in a red zone again

And I'm about to shut this fucking thing down because I hear cackling that I don't I don't even know who that is Now you know what now now I'm going to sing the song again I We got kalai land welcome to tiger belly, by the way, welcome to tiger belly. We've got kalai land in the room. We got george. I mean I swear to fucking god for a split second. I forgot your name. I know you did gilbert. Did you say gilbert galan? Thank you so much. Thank you. Well, let's start over. We got kalai la gilbert. Welcome to tiger belly. Thank you George beautiful brice. Oh, wow. And we have a fucking guest tonight. Um He literally is um, one of my favorites. Um, the ugly king of the east the east. Yeah

He's a red nut That's what I call him red nut. He's got like, uh Some freckles I call them visual aids It looks like disease Yeah, it looks like a visual aids. Um He um, he he's so racist. He talks about Chinese people all the time, right? Yeah when he has for a white dude Chinese eyes There he goes. There he goes. Keanu. Yeah, um, he's been on many many tv shows. He was on a very successful tv show called

mixology It was a hit He got canceled before it's time Really mixology the google it dude. It's like a good show. It's one of the ones and um, he's also He's one of the ones that you have to not watch or watch either way. Um, he's also the star of many different things like the um, what was that one with the um, Um, with the uh, well the room but the other one The room they made made the remake with the uh, franco

Disaster artist disaster artist. He was a big star on that You know, he had a monologue in there that was like unbelievable. Anyway, um But he's also the star of i'm dying up here, which is a show time show about the comedy star a very good show Very good show. He has his own podcast called whiskey ginger And uh, yeah, yeah Yeah, his name is andy santino. Give him a round of applause everybody Welcome now you can talk What's the matter? What's the matter? Yeah, go ahead breathe breathe through it

It's a pleasure to be here. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me on club. I really appreciate it No, you're gonna be on today. You also don't have a single freckle. Yeah, I don't have any Uh, bobby just uh makes up stuff to make him sound funny and sweet bobby. You gave me a bad intro For the first time in our friendship What do you mean? Mixology you talk about my cancelled tv show Could I just say the room the disaster is a movie I literally got cut out of Entirely. Yeah

I'm dying up here. Yeah my show that literally just got cancelled. Yeah Okay, can I say this though? No. Yeah, no I'll tell you why go ahead because it's your show. This is your room. It's your girl. It's your crew I get it your mics your camera on a vacuum. I get it Oh, you misunderstood with me friend Oh, no, I got it. Yeah. Oh, I got it that song that song I sang yeah before right was about you By me and you walking on the street. Yes. Okay. All right. I take it all back Me walking down the street with my friend together

Yeah, yeah, that was in my head. I saw you skipping down the street with like a bag of swedish fish. That's what it looks like Just like popping them in your mouth. Yeah It's the bag of fish that you are excited about The song was about you and could I say this too? I'm happy to be here by the way is I read from mixology. Yeah, you did Yeah, and I don't even your part No, yeah, and I didn't even get a callback or nothing. They just went and I left So I think because it and also I'm dying up here. Yeah, I asked I asked my agents like is there any I know it's about the 70s

I'm about the store because I because that showcase that they saw Eric Griffin I was on that showcase the only reason you would have been on wouldn't have been on the show Yeah, because you were you'd be perfect for it Uh, is because there was no Asian comics in the 70s. I know because I did this though I'm serious. That's the only reason why the bar staff was tie Oh Yeah, so I even asked that I could meet no because that's not a big enough That's not a role. You wouldn't do that shit. You didn't get to you wouldn't get to talk

Yeah, I'd have a lion. No, you'd want to be have real lines Double whiskey for you know what I mean? Richard Pryor You know double whiskey Richard Pryor Yeah, yeah, yeah and the award for best guest star goes to Bobby Lee Yeah

You would have been so good so many other people have been good. I don't want to talk about that show because it's uh It's in the past. That's hard to talk about shows that are in the past now. It's so weird I mean you were on it for three years. It just ended and it's like it's not as it's not like you're you're like You know we're on the first season of last comic standing and I'm bringing it out Can I tell you something this is funny? I've never told this story Yeah, I waited in line in san francisco to get into cobs comedy to do to audition for last comic standing Yeah, and um, how long did I wait like five hours? Oh my god, and and I got to the front and they were like they're gonna be done soon

I was like wait no, I but I want to I want to go in there like Well, you can go but no it's over. Yeah. It's over. Oh my god. So I went up there Nobody I don't even I don't even know who the judges were right I did three jokes to like two people and they're like, thanks man. They were like packing up their gear Oh my god, I drove to fucking san francisco And then it's so funny because that night you probably late you're in a hotel room hotel Well, yeah, we're just in a car. Oh, so you're in your car sleeping in I was I my car my friend's car Yeah, wow something a car and you must be just that must have been like a total horrible

Here's why I stopped in a fucking car. I should be able to call out my friend for this This guy that I was supposed to stay with this piece of shit Dan piece of shit He was living in the marina with his girlfriend at the time. They got in such a bad fight They got so drunk and in a bad fight They locked they locked the doors didn't leave them open for me and they fought at her apartment never came back to his Never picked up their phone. So I slept in my car out front of their fucking apartment. Wow Piece of shit. You know who you are

Dan, do you think that you have a lot of anger tons? I know why because the shit like that because a fucking dan because of people like dan that exists in the world You know, I'm the same way as you I but you know what it is I you handle it better than you have a cuter face when you smile It's okay. No, but I agree all the two people think I'm angry or even when I'm not that mad I'm not that mad right now. You could know my mind comes out in ways that are detrimental to other people though Like if you harm me Yeah, right. I'll do something like passive aggressive

Yeah, like like like, you know, if I run into somebody that's harmed me and I'll go hey and hug them And a great sad and then like a week or a year later I'll do something behind their back that affects them. You're like a lady. That's like what a lady does I behave like a big lady sometimes that's like a lady move. That's like a hold it in for years. Yeah I'm a poisoner for sure. I I I let it go. Yeah. I say I say it fast and I let it go I'm the same way you say it fast and let it go. I have to I can't help myself when he does something that pisses you off It will be it will be immediate. Oh, it's always that I never and when she does something that pisses you off I've I've held 50 things in my heart. Are you banking them for yeah, I may I have a big for her

There's a gigantic room. Do you bank anything for him? No, nothing. Let it go. But her bank though. This is the biggest world bank Like for like some people like you your bank is small So there's two things two things that you could do it'll explode I like things to fester my sister is somebody who is very who internalizes a lot and every three years she has like a massive Of emotional meltdown and I never want to get to be like I never want to be like her She has like an emotional breakdown because she's so like She just holds a lot of things in and I see it and she's just always at on the verge

And I never want to be like that. So you just let it all go. I have to I say it to mine's to a fault though, too I say I'll say I'll say it fast. I said something so mean to my wife before I left Ugh, would you say I'm I was being mean would you say very mean you said something mean I said something mean What is it? I don't want to say it. I said something mean. Okay. Okay. I said she was a fat piece of dog No, I just got mad because I I am I am a I'm this guy. This is this is me. This is literally me, right? Um, you're her ask me Uh, you've just walked in and say hey, did you end up um asking your mom about that Christmas ornament thing we needed? Okay, this and I'm watching a you can be less complimented. That's okay. All right

And and I'm watching a and I'm watching a youtube big line babe a youtube video. Yeah, I'm watching youtube video I hope you get it right on the couch. Okay, ready? Can I say action? Yeah, go. Okay roll cameras and action Hey, uh, babe, did you ask your mom about that Christmas ornament thing that we needed? What what? What that Christmas ornament thing? Babe, what what? What what is it? Okay, stop stop stop stop. That's what I do right away Did I did I not do that the other night with the cougar? Which cougar?

In Red Dead Redemption. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I get so so that's my problem. I do that. I snap Okay, you see me on the goddamn fucking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm in it. I'm inside of it I'm gonna tell you something what happened the other night. I lost my shit. Okay. I'm gonna tell you something But what did you say? Take your fucking. Hold on a second. I want to know what you said. Yeah, besides just snapping it that way Oh my god Babe, I will show you something right now. I must have seen Andrew smile Wait, hold on. Leave it. Leave it one more time. Hold on. Hold on real quick real quick real quick Well for people that are out of audio, uh, me something

Kalala, get in get in get in Boom boom boom Talking down the street for me and my friend. Okay, so I don't have any I don't I don't have any patience I have no patience when I'm on the when I'm on the phone. I'm doing a thing just let me finish the thing As soon as I'm done, I'll get right back to you. I promise But she does it and she knows she does it and then I just I lose it. Yeah, I am a fucking asshole and you know what gets me even more mad. I imagine our neighbors Are going that guy's a fucking asshole

Because they never hear her right. They just hear me yelling And I've never hit her Never never never. Yeah, you've thought about it though So I'm playing I'm playing red dinner redemption. Yeah video game the new one the new one Yeah, it's so good, huh? So one of the little goals is to kill five cougars not easy with a bow and arrow Finding a cougar is like running into in real life an eskimo So let me ask you something. How many eskimos have you ran into in your whole life? Honestly zero exactly And I have to kill five of them

You have to find them in the game and kill them. Yeah, and they're very rare. Yeah, right? Yeah, I finally have one I've been looking for three hours. Got one. I I pulled back on my bow and arrow, right? This is already here sweetie I turn like this And I go back to the screen that he had hit my neck the cougar And I just roll back and I fall to the ground and I die and I look at I go what? And then she starts crying. I didn't cry a little bit. You were so upset like I don't know when to say anything You know what I mean? Well, okay, and I'm like it wasn't a short youtube video

This is a 16 hour a day game. Yeah, so I don't know when to interject. Did you know that the cougar was there? Yeah, but now you know Right so then right and then what she was gonna interrupt me for was This is what she was gonna say. She was gonna say No, Julio and bojo are getting along better. Oh, yeah, the cat so my younger cat cats are now One of my dogs is getting along better. Yeah, and you know, when you think about it, that's that's the information I really needed to hear that then. Yes. Okay. So our Our asshole dog and our shy cat were now they're kissing. They're kissing

And it was such a rare moment that I had to tell him in that moment. Oh my god, turn around. Look at the animals Yeah, but then meanwhile, you know, man I got one in there. Yeah. Yeah, and then here's what was worse the three hours after that Me walking around trying to find You didn't see all that and me trying to breathe hard to let you know. Yeah It's like You know what I mean, and I'm I was trying to like I I did at five in the morning. I found one but it was um, not pristine coat

But still I got the thing by one of the coach might make a jacket. But anyway, pristine coat Oh, oh, oh the level of the cougar level of the cougar has to be the right level to get the right figure right the right coat Yeah, yeah, but anyway, um, so I get what you're saying. Yeah, you know, what's really, you know, what's really interesting to me about About the video game thing. What is that you play games? Like red dead redemption. Yeah, where you don't like anything of that world if it was real, but you like it in a game That's every game. Fuck not No, yeah, if um, if I'm playing um skyrim, I don't want to slay a dragon in real life. Yes, you do All asian people are somewhat fascinated with dragons

It's a part of your culture. You guys dance. You guys do dancey thing You guys do this guy. Yeah Yeah, and I'm gonna say this is game of thrones my culture. Fuck you white dude Well, no, no, no, no, it's a part of your culture as well But those dragons, but those dragons are a little too a little too ridiculous You guys like you guys say our dragons have smaller dicks. No, no, no, they're just brightly colored dragons You guys like bright color dragons Do you like those? Those are the dragons you like, baby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

More for celebrate celebration Is korean culture are they into dragons? No, right? Yeah, it's just chinese, but I'm just gonna go along with this like racist I go yeah, we do dancey ones. I mean, you know, you know, you know, you know But korean's got to be into dragons a little bit. No, not even in a little. No, I don't know. What are they into then? What's their We don't like Singapore is a merlion. Oh, we did that You know, we did that when when the japanese was tying up upside down. Yeah ties up inside out And we would do that because we try to get away. Aren't they great to japanese? I know they're great. I think they're my favorite

Yeah, they're fun to you. Do you think you'll play video games for the rest of your life? Yeah, you do forever I mean, yeah, I mean unless there was no such thing as them like if they got rid of them Oh, you're not but you're not you're you're not gonna have kids, right? Or you're gonna have kids or who knows? I wouldn't have one. You do. Yeah, so I would be essentially a single mom raising a kid right so don't do that And that's the only reason why I've been like I have so many trepidations is because I know how he functions day to day Yeah, and even with the animals he loves them a lot But he doesn't know how to actually like our our dog hulio was vompl

You know was dry heaving on the bed instead of helping hulio to get off the bed. He just pushes Yeah pushes the the animal while he's vomiting that makes sense. Would you do that with a kid? No You think that would switch? It's it's so funny because to me when I see um a lion Right, you see a lot of lines or a cat, right? I know the difference And even if I had that was a bad analogy. There's a really bad analogy, but still I threw it out there I know what you mean. I threw it out there though. You're saying you'd have such a big connection Yeah, my connection with you know, my kids would be different than my connection with my dogs. Yeah How do you know that like that's not a guarantee? I don't know, but how do you know?

I will be a bad dad had no no no no Because a lot of people say people say people that know me say an over the you'd be a good father Who say who says that they don't live with you day today? I'm just saying people have said al magical has said it You are sweet. He's sweet and cuddly, but that's why they're saying that raised children Yes, they're saying that because you're a sweet guy because you have a great birthday Let me ask you this Let me look at me right now and be honest be honest with me. All right. Yeah be completely honest with me You know what if they made wag for kids. Yeah

That'd be great. That'd be great. Then you could have someone come walk that's a business plan that we could have Well, then well, don't we won't run we won't run them No, but we'll hire people will hire people But let me be honest with me. Yes, I were to ask you if someone didn't ask you Hey, Bobby Lee is having a kid with Kalilah. What do you think of that? What would you say? What's my initial reaction? Yeah, be real disbelief Like what how would you say it verbally or just kind of just internalize it? Let's play it out. Okay. All right. So go ahead So who am I I'm some kind I'm joe. My name is joe. I'll be a guy that we know

I'm neil brennan Be a comedian that we know. All right Okay, I'm um Frankie the guy that the doorman at the store great Hey, Frank. What's up? Hey, man? Um, you're late for your spot. No. No, I'm actually always. Oh, that's right. Yeah Oh, anyway, hey, did you hear the new news? Uh, what Bobby Lee and Kalilah they're having a baby Really? Yeah Wow

I guess I would have never That's fucking wow. Okay That's really your yeah, that was so real Oh, here's what I then my next I was so real my next I would be like I didn't think like of course they've been together. They have sex, but I thought they have sex like Like how lesbians have sex Like there's no no penetration Like it's a lot of touching and emotional stuff. Yeah, stop stop that stuff

But I guess wow good for Bob. Man, they're gonna go through with that, huh? Just let me ask you this. Yeah, kev I'm frank Are you saying that um, am I real with me? Yeah You think that my genitals can't penetrate a vagina or produce a kid? Maybe you don't think that the fluids within me are active. I don't think they're working. Oh, but they are How do you know because we've had we've had two You've had two two abortions. Yes Walking down the street

That's where the song that's where the song I think I would be I would I would I would love to be a godfather to your kid Well, you that thank you for throwing that out there. I would love I would love to put my hat in the ring You wouldn't an option. You'd be an option. I'm trying to kind of have a kid right now Yeah Really? Yeah, but you know what it really comes down to I'm scared. I'm scared to raise a kid in LA Yeah, me too because I didn't grow up here

I have this bullshit. I know it's fake and it's crap and it's stupid I have this fantasy of raising a kid the way I got raised. Where how is that in Chicago? I just have this thing about like I want him to feel the way that I felt about things when I was a kid It's selfish and fucked up And it doesn't matter, but like there's a thing about I want to be able to take my kid to a fucking Chicago Cubs game Because that's what I grew up with with my dad Not does anything wrong taking him to a Dodger game It's just it's it's a world that I'm like, oh, this doesn't mean as much to me because I didn't grow up here

Right, but you're wrong. I know no no. I'm right in my feelings, but it's it's not it's a stupid way to think I feel the exact same way. Yeah, I I asked you this yesterday. Yeah, if we have kids, can I take them to the Philippines? Can I I want them to have the same education that I did they went I went to an international school I was really immersed in a lot of things right. I had a Really really enriched life growing up and I had a very a good sense of like how the world outside of America Was, you know doing things. Yeah, and I want that for my children. I want them to be cultured I want them to are you afraid they would have no culture here. No not

I'm afraid of them having the rich life right because they'll have everything because Bobby is even with animals He spoils them and I just don't want a spoiled kid. I just you'll have you'll have one you will inevitably have one with him Yeah, I think so 100% You know these you know these kids that like grew up in orange county, you know these pieces of shit All of them every single one of them Yeah, but that's not the kind of you know, I'm joking. You know, I'm kidding. I just see some other way now Let me make my point. Let me make my point

Go ahead Your kid will inevitably be extremely spoiled and well taken care of because of the life you live Because of the way you live your life. There's no way that you won't have a spoiled brat kid It'll be impossible to avoid your kid will be a fucking brat Like I don't want to have a kid that doesn't know how to take public transportation. He he or she won't Like that's horrible. You'll have a spoiled brat kid You know, uh, uh, I I'm offended by that. Is there anything that you wouldn't get by that because I'm gonna say something right now Yeah, I'm offended by that because I'll tell you something right now. What is is that my parents were wealthy

And they gave me everything power way. Yeah, so you went to my school? Yeah, San Diego is nice, right? I grew up in like a place called green valley. I know a fancy, right? It's fancy. Yeah, it's called country cub the whole thing and I was a fucked up kid time out. Yeah, your parents are from Korea, that's right. So you're the your first generation Yeah, okay What does that mean your your parents had a lot of money, but they treated you with values based on the way Yes, they threw no they threw me camps and cars and everything But you fucked it up. I fucked it up because I was a fucking piece of shit, okay

So your child, but can I say this won't fuck it up? We'll be a good kid, but we'll be spoiled rotten No, it doesn't it doesn't matter where or what or when? No, it's because you're successful. No, it's all it's all it's it's a lottery system You're having a kid. You don't know you don't know for sure I know dudes that are like, you know really bad people with great fucking parents. Who? Um bad people. Yeah Ted Bundy Ted Bundy. Yeah, he had great parents took him to church

They did I read the book Okay Okay, yeah, you're gonna be a great dad. Thank you. Your kid's gonna be a brat. Here's the thing though Here's the thing though, dude I do kind of want to raise my kids in LA because of there's nothing wrong when I hear other kids raised here Yeah, it's kind of cool. Like, you know when like I was hanging out with Oliver on set. Yeah, just hear me out Oh, my god, and I go. Yeah, we had these kids on my podcast called the um Ruin brothers. Yeah, I was telling them they sound like Roy Urbison. He's like, oh, yeah, I grew up with his kids

Yeah, I go, oh, you like that. He's like, yeah, I used to go over there. Yeah, he's a cool dude You want our kids to just rub and he just kind of won up me Like I was like, I know a band that kind of sounds like him But he was like, oh, I know the real dude, but you know, that's that's what this that's that's what I like But that but it's a never-ending competition in LA. That's life Nope life is a never-ending competition in life. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Because it's not because in LA it's one upsmanship Oh, so you don't think that two plumbers in Chicago, right?

Go ahead. Keep going. Two brothers, right? They had their parents were Mario and Luigi. Yes, mario Luigi their plumber Italian Italian plumbers. Yes, they go down the pipes, which is kind of strange. Yeah, they don't yeah They go down Yeah, yeah, right Right if I was a plumber at every job while I was fixing the pipes, so we go bananana Really good. Hey, yes Let's skip to it. Let's go to something else. What I will say this you'd make great fucking parents. I'm just saying I I'm saying this from me. I know when I raise a kid in LA

I'm gonna spoil them and try my best to give them everything I didn't have so inevitably They'll probably be fucking brats. I'll probably raise a brat Because I want them to have all the shit. I think that's a mistake to want everything for them I know I shouldn't you but I also am like they just also don't build that much of a character But I know the fucking duds. Yeah, they'll be they'll be I know but but then but the only way to like fix that is to make them I should what I should do is have them and then ship them to Alaska Yeah, and make them live off the grid. That's what Kevin Bacon did to associate. That's why she's so grounded. Yeah The ship them away. Yeah, but they also grew up in New York or New York or whatever. Yeah, and um,

Connecticut, New York same thing If your son goes or your daughter goes mommy Mommy, um, the whole school they're going to France. This is when she's 16 by the way The whole school they're going to France And um, I want to go to parents. I want to go to France with the whole school No, everyone's everyone's going to fucking bad You know the one thing that I'm very thankful that my mother taught me Was early rejection

And the word no and I had to just eat it and I just had to sit there in my own disappointment. I do you still have a good relationship Yeah, I do. I mean she was really rough and have a good one with mine. Fuck not but but no doesn't You know, I don't spiral downwards when I hear the word no, okay The same kid comes up to me Huh, you're playing my kid that the same kid that asked her Dad Wow, your voice has changed. Oh, yeah Yeah, what is it son? So like all all the like the whole class has taken a trip

It's a school project that everyone's going. Well, it's like a class trip But everyone in the class is going. Well, yeah, it's well, no, you don't it's elective But everyone is going. Okay. And what is it? Where are they going? Cabo San Lucas, Mexico Oh, but everyone's going almost Okay, there's only one kid that can't go. What did mom say? I haven't asked her yet. Oh I was just thinking maybe you would if every kid's going and I get to go We're going but you want to go. Yeah

That's all I really want it. Yeah, but mom won't go. Yeah, mom's going to I don't want her to go Oh, I'm going Mom Your dad and I are going you're staying home She was in the closet the whole time and then you see photos on instagram with us on the beach With your classmates. Yeah. Yeah, yeah So listen, I had the same thing my parents are very very too fucking bad. I used to tell a bit about it There's no too bad dads anymore. They don't exist

But my parents are too bad. No a lot of no a lot of too bad But that's also the way that we grew up. But I know living in this town It's different. This town is different. It is different and I'm not shitting on la I'm just saying I just know it's different. I just all my friends with kids And they tell you and they're like, you know, you have to fucking apply for kindergarten. You do that's crazy And not only that but you basically have to move to the fucking wonderland school district just to be able to go to somewhere Okay, and if you if you raise your kids in san diego Great

No, but I'm saying but that's but that's easier. I'm gonna can I just say my last point though Is is that when I was in arlington, there was an asian kid working there. He was 18 years old He was working at the at the club at the club. What was he doing? He was washing dishes or something And he was asian washing dishes that he was he walked he brought like food like chicken fingers or something He was like he was like in the kitchen I don't know what he was doing, but I didn't ask him but he's just a kid that works You had a good connection with the staff I always do so I go amen. What's your name? He's like, I forgot his name lewis and I go, uh, oh, he's like

What are you korean? He goes not really Not really I go. What are you guys? Well, I was adopted. Oh, he doesn't know. Yeah, so I am korean, but like I don't anything about it I go, oh, oh Have your thought about like looking for and I don't give fuck Right good fuck. Yeah, I go whatever my parents. What about your parents? No, they gave me love. Yeah Yeah, my dad's a psychologist. My mom works at the school white parents white parents. Yeah, I go. Oh, you seem angry He's like, yeah, I don't give a fuck about life, man Really fuck it 18. Yeah, and I go. Well, you got to figure it out. He's like, no, I don't have to get anything out man. Fuck it

I kind of like his attitude. I'm not gonna. I'm just saying and he walked away and I looked at um Billy billy bonnell and I was like, um Wow That's weird And it's like in my head. I'm like it doesn't matter where you grew up He this kid probably had a great kid parents Right. He was given up, right? Probably he probably was raised in the right way. Maybe he's maybe or maybe not I don't know. We I don't know his past. Well, I'm gonna ask him when I go in a couple weeks

Yeah, you're gonna go in a couple weeks. My point is is this is that you don't You don't know for sure. No, you don't it's not a guarantee that if I raise kids in Chicago wherever you're from Right, they're gonna be a great kid. They could be bad kids. You're right. So it's like it doesn't matter So I'm gonna get I'm not gonna move out of LA And raise kids somewhere else. This is where I live. This is where my business is you have to be here Yeah, don't you do too being a good parent doesn't guarantee you'll have Or a good location right none of that stuff. Yeah, it's a gamble. So let's make a kid. Yeah, that's what I'm saying Wolf we'll get these guys the fuck out of here so we can do it. So

I want to talk about Arlington what happened. Oh, yeah The aren't there but there was a some a drama that happened there No, but we spoke a little bit about it. So let's let's hear it I'm also gonna exempt myself from this conversation Be easy about it. You are because you're gonna be there in two weeks Yeah, because I I'm gonna go play there and I like it and I don't I don't know what this is So I'm saying this for this is I'm preempting this. I don't know this whatever this is. I shouldn't say it then Yeah, you should go

I mean say it you experienced it. Yeah, you're experienced. You know what? I think okay. Okay. I want to say this Okay, is that um I love This club Have you played this room before I have one time. Yeah. Yeah, I absolutely fucking love it. Yeah, Arlington draft and the reason why I love it is because The people that run it the own it The owner of the club whenever I'm in town She she meets me at breakfast

And we hug I know her daughter and it's She I she I feel at home. They're good people. They really are good people and she's great. Yeah, and um Um, I don't I have no problem with the manager, but we had a fucking falling out. What happened? Well, what happened was saturday night. Does the owner know about this? No. Okay. Good. Go ahead Friday night We I get a tweet from this young girl And she's I got one too. I saw it. Oh, you got a tweet. Yeah, I got the tweet. She tweeted both of you guys She basically said listen, I I I drew. I'm a tiger belly fan

I drove four hours What? Yeah, um, I had to be here by nine because I guess if you're under 21 yes before nine I can't get in yeah, because they let they have a cutoff for under 29 Yeah, I'm on my way into the club because I got there at 8 30. She was there at 8 30. You saw her We made eye contact. Yeah, and so I think she tried to make a case for it because she was like I was waiting here for an hour I'm the first person in line, right and they couldn't they wouldn't let her in because she was under 21 Yeah, which is not her fault. Sure, right? So this girl poor girl drove four hours and couldn't get in

And so we basically said there's nothing we can do But if you wait you can hang out with us afterwards. That's cool. It's a great gift. Very cool. Yeah So she it's really cold there. So she sat in a car with her boyfriend Oh my god, we brought her in through the three hours. We brought her in through the back Hang out with her in the green room for about an hour And we talked about horses her life. She was just a dope chick dope chick Like I got to the point where I was like, can we hire her? No, we want her on the podcast because she was so interesting She's so interesting. She's like a young black chick with this Nigerian kind of

He was Ethiopian and Sudanese. He had like this 80s like she was like black, but black Yeah, I shouldn't even said that So you want she was dope as fuck. Dope as fuck. Dope. She was so awesome and she was like, oh my god This is like so worth it, you know, and I go, oh cool. I'm glad you feel that way I go she goes, can we get a photo before I go and I go, yeah, but let's not do it in here. It's dim Let's go out. Yeah into the lobby. No one else left in the club. They already The staff is gone. The staff is gone. Yeah. Also worth noting Besides comedy shows that club operates as a cinema. It's a movie theater. It's a movie theater. Yeah. Yeah, I've been there

All ages movie theater, right? It's a local town movie theater. Yeah, it's not only that it's eclectic the place It's like, you know that they have weird shows there. It's a place for art It's an artist community. It's an artist community. It's great. It's a great place But it's not a 21 and over club all day. It's what it's not. That's not what it is. Okay So we go out into the lobby and um, all of a sudden we run into the manager and he just goes get the Hell out. I told you guys earlier you could come in and you're in get out to her To the kid. Yeah And she's and he saw that you were with them. Yes

And I go, whoa, dude, calm down. You guys know I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to them Get out And she was there with her phone like yeah, like I'm about to take a photo and I go Don't talk to me that way. I don't I'm not like I said he kept he kept interrupting me Bobby speak at all Jesus, he's like no out get out and at this point. I take the two and I well, I could see I looked at koala's face And she has a thing where when her eyes get crossed and the blood just leaves her face her rage that her rage is about to You know because I've been in rage moments. We've yelled at people before together. It's not a good deal And it was happening. So I was like, you know, I need to remove myself before this goes back

Her and I rage out. It's the greatest thing in the world As a duo as a duo we point fingers. We rip their physical their emotional state their spiritual state We attack every angle and they want to kill themselves And we had just this amazing hour with these two kids a beautiful hour Yeah, and then now tainted by the fact that this guy was just screaming for no fucking reason He was just being power trippy. And so I was like, you know what guys? Let's just walk out I let Bobby take care of it. Do you think he had a negative interaction with them before the show? No You don't think it was like they fought with him prior. Maybe I

I wonder why that's why so much attitude not only that though I don't care because I gave then when they left I started talking And basically I said this and I might have this could be wrong, but this is the right thing And this is gonna sound really fucked up. I think no, I don't know. I'm ready. This is what I believe. Yeah, I go. Listen in LA I've seen big comics like Chappelle coming with somebody with no ID

Yeah, right. They could be 21. They might not be I don't know But is anyone gonna ask? No. No. No If they're in the club and you see two kids that look like underage That's chris rocks friends or whoever family, but he walks in there with them. Do we say no something? No, no, right? You wouldn't say shit. In fact, even it could be even, you know, even lower level than that like somebody like, um Um, Greg Fitzsimmons Sure great comic friend. Even if Greg's in there with somebody, I'm not gonna say anything. That's Greg Fitzsimmons That's Greg Fitzsimmons. Yeah, what yeah, why why would why the reason why is because

This is a comedy club and what they sell is comics. Yeah We are the product. Yep, right. You don't fuck with that And so what and so you leave I say that down and this guy and he's like, I know he's kept just like no, no I don't know. He's like, no, no, no, you're not dude. This is my club And I was kind of like, oh Okay What night was this Friday night and he was basically like because it's Friday saturday show Yeah, like you don't talk to my fans in that way. Yeah, this person. It's it's not yeah, it's not even just a fan, dude

It's a tiger belly fan More important. No, I'm gonna say something right now. That's what I'm saying tiger belly fans come out four hours They drive four hours. I know they wear the shirts. Well, let me let me let me back it up What? The thing that a lot of these and I'm not I don't have anything to do with this case But the thing that a lot of people forget in the world of comedy running clubs and all that stuff Is at the end of the day

These people that like go so deep to come see you the real fans. Yeah Are the most important. Yes people that just go to shows to just grab a night out I appreciate those humans as well, but it's different. It's different when someone's like, I'm a fan I love you. I came just for you. Yeah, they need to understand it. That's the only way for this business to keep going Yeah, we're having a boom and everyone loves going to comedy shows, but I gotta tell you it's not gonna fucking last forever You know who's gonna be around the fucking fans. Yeah, the people that just go to get a fucking drink and have a night off They're not gonna fucking be there. They leave they go, ah We could go see him or no

The fans will always be there They need to know that that's an important structure to keep us alive them and us But they're not just fans. I have a feeling for them as well. Well, that's what I'm saying But I mean, it's just like there's so many years where I felt like my career was over You still feel that today still there is parts of me that I know right and you feel the same way everyone feels that way today When I'm done with this, I'm gonna jump. I know But oddly enough, it's these fans that make me go. All right. I'm gonna keep going. It's worth it It's worth it totally because they're the there's a there's a sign of hope

Yeah, right. They're the ones that are like giving me the money to pay rent or buy food to live and keep doing right And it gives me that fuel and energy So when he yelled at these young kids, it was a trigger, right? It fucking And rage it enraged me. But then again I know that I've been in trouble before at clubs For like sticking out for myself and I've never been back there but Yeah, but but like it happens, but you're not wrong

I understand that I also think that you later found out that he hadn't slept in like 35 hours He was having a bad day like all you have to do you guys Is reconcile the whole thing no in fact the next night so nothing was before this happened I didn't go to the I didn't go to the Saturday show you like she boycott a Saturday I just didn't want to be there for the awkward, you know run in sweaty hands. I love her Yeah, but what happened was coming. No the night before that happened. He asked me a favor. He goes Oh, we our club has a podcast And you did it. He goes. Can you do it tomorrow night? So I said, oh, yeah for sure

No, for everything happened then the thing happened and then that night I'm laying in bed Because you said yes because I said yes, but you could have just said no I was going to but then what happened was The two people that are doing the podcast Are local guys their comics that one of them was open before and the other girl I knew in LA Right, so then they and they brought in with their equipment That's even harder. So he walks in with them with equipment and I'm like, I'll do it Like that

And I did it and then at the end he goes age at the end. He said, hey, sorry about Yesterday, man, it was oh, he said yeah. Well, you just sorry about it and I go My only response was I'll get over it one day I think that's a good response. Yeah, that's honest. Yeah. What did he say? Did he say anything else? Nothing? No walked away. He gave me the check Here's the money. Yeah. Yeah The money that you earned for yeah packing this place that let me say one story about that place It's gotta be good. You're gonna be there in two weeks. Yeah. No, I have nothing. We love it there

I have nothing negative Arlington draft house one of the best clubs in america. No, I'm gonna go and I can't wait I was gonna say something funny and positive not negative There is a fan There is a local hardcore fan that I'm sure was there for you that they have to chase away And he waits by the window In the green room because you he can hear you And he listens to people's conversations and they have to chase him away And he was yelling through the fan in the window going

Andrew Santino, will you come out and sign stuff? I'm not kidding. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I and I thought I say hi to everybody. I'm not big enough I don't care. I'll say hi to anybody. Right. I'll hug you. I'll talk to you I'll do whatever to like make people know that like yeah, man I want to fucking get to know you if I if I can if it's not too crazy Yeah, I go I go fucking sign that thing for that guy Yeah, the staff. I mean bold eyes. Don't go outside. Why don't go outside

I'm not kidding. I was no because they scared me Like do some weird shit to me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and then so he goes He goes just just sit here for a second. We sit. I'm sipping a coffee waiting for the second show. I hear him again Andrew Santino one of the One of the servers. Yeah Through the fan window comes in with my with with my coffee. Yeah comes in and goes Get out. I said get out And then walked out like nothing happened. Oh really? Oh, and I just sat there. Oh my I was so uncomfortable

It was so weird. Yeah, but they obviously deal with this guy. Yeah, he was there for you. I guarantee you but they probably wasn't there Yep, no, I'm saying they he wasn't there to chase him away. Oh really they do they said they He's obsessed with comedy and whoever comes in that he knows He's obsessed and he like hangs around the venue. He doesn't come in. He doesn't buy a ticket He like wants to see you after the show And they have to chase him away. Oh So if he's there this when I go I'll say hi

Yeah, go say hi because I don't want him to kill me. Yeah, he won't kill you He's gonna hold you to that. I will say hi. Yeah, he's gonna be like, hey Andrew Santino How about if you how about a code they have to say let's make up a code now. Okay. Okay, so what's the code? You guys do it It's your show. Yeah Walking down the street. Yeah, wait if that if that's the window. That's that's the code. Yes. I sing the song walking down the street with my friend Walking down the street with my friend If he sings that you get right through the window, you have to go out 100 but if he doesn't I'm gonna give you an omen

Oh, okay, right. Yeah, you're gonna lose a limb in like 10 years. Holy s***. Yeah. Yeah That's awesome. That's awesome And don't challenge me dude. My omens are real. It would be so funny in 10 years if my arm just fell off Nothing. I wasn't even doing anything. I'm just hanging out at home and in my arm. They ate my arm Bobby's omen F***, you know what people that kind of are weird after shows are the people that have Photos that they somehow went to a you know, they went to kink fat ex-kinkos And they have a phone a printout and then you go. Oh, what name? No, just saying your name

Well, they sell it online. They sell it. But really do I have to sign it then? No, they make they no don't no don't they do it's a fighter's all the time. They do. Yeah Yeah, man, rogan doesn't sign any of those because of that. He signed actually I'll take that back Yeah, he's rogan is very generous with that kind of stuff But he will say to them because they'll go he'll go assign one But you can't get me to sign seven of these because he knows that they that they sell them And he goes dude, listen, I'm not I'm doing this for a fan not so I can You can have a career, right? That's not okay because there's a there's usually a young guy there

That has a picture that wants to sign or a thing that he keeps But then there's always a man with a manila envelope with 1950s. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got a couple of those And this one a bobby bobby this one Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because those guys sell that shit And by the way, they make a lot of fucking money. They make money over the dumb fucking sir Just come to my show. I'll do it for free. No, but people but but you don't get it It it go in the market of these kind of high res nice photos that they go out of the reddit print out They they sell them for good fucking money people want to buy a nice picture

That's signed by you because it looks professional. Ah, so they're this is their game. Oh, I see I that's interesting. I've been with a famous friend before I'm not going to say who I'll tell you how famous very So we when we were at the airport together. Whoa, all right Many many many humans wanted. Okay. It's Russell Peters. I'm going to go crazy. It's Russell Simmons It's not we don't I love Russell because he's huge We don't really know he wasn't making that as a joke. Not a comedian. I love you Russell famous person not a

Famous non-comedian a big actor. Yes, okay? A billion people sign sign sign sign sign paper picture sign sign please sign sign sign sign sign The only thing the person wouldn't sign Was those things those men because he was like no That's a fucking scam. Yeah. If a kid wants a photo, I'll take a photo. Yeah, if a grown man Has printed out photos to sell online. Yeah, no, I'm not supportive and I told and I learned then I was like, oh, that's what that is That's why I'm glad I fucking said it now. No. Yeah, don't don't don't don't because I signed probably a hundred of them Yeah, yeah, don't do that. Also, we made money off of you. Have a regular signature

Do you have a nice signature? No, mine's terrible. Can I read Bobby Lee or no? Just Billy Oh, that's cool. It's almost like it's almost like you just see b and l What? Who is it? Yeah, let me I'll do it on the table. Yeah Man, this table will be worse something someday. So this is That's it. That you know what that looks like. What? R2. Yeah, it looks like R. R2C. Rc. Yeah, Rc. Cola. What is yours? And what does yours look like? Terrible We should have people start signing the table. Yeah, you know when I get you know, I get we're gonna do that. Yeah

Yeah, by the way, you got to come back to whiskey junior and sign my picture because no it was there after you were there Um, please. No, Bob. Okay Whenever I go whenever I go to the bank and I have to sign my signature. Yeah, I get nervous because they're looking at me Yeah, and I fuck it up every time. Yeah, so I can't look at you when I do it Yeah That's it. Wow That's like a starster risk star. Yeah. People don't know. No. Yeah, I don't want people to know who it is Yeah, because if I if I sign a bunch of stuff and then one day when I die

And like someone slant they slander my name. I don't want it. I don't want like my signature to also be sad You know, I don't want them to see my name and be like, oh fuck. I wish you didn't sign this You know what sometimes I do give me the pen. Yeah, sometimes I do that but then I do but then I do my signature But then I'll do that. I'll do this You would classic here. Here. This is where I do my signature would really annoy you. I do this. Yeah. Yeah Can I say something about signatures? Yeah, I'm stupid and I don't remember what club it was But it made me get real emotional Comics were signing we're signing the wall

In a club and I think it maybe it was good nights I'm good nights in North Carolina and it was Robert Schimmel had signed One of the bricks and I was like damn it's so crazy like because we signed comics sign those and most times when comics sign green rooms It's like something fucking annoying and they write some stupid bad joke. Yeah, but it was all these bullshit signatures And his stood out For no reason that it was like wow, that's wild like that It's it was so cool for some reason for people that don't know Robert Schimmel's a phenomenal fucking comedian that passed away Here's another thing. I was at cap city ones. I was in the green room. I fucking love that club. I was

Sore subject. All right. We won't talk about it. You brought it up But anyway, um, I was there wasn't a bad mood or whatever and I looked up and they were at the top I think on the ceiling in the corner was a photo of bill hicks or something like a headshot And it made me feel like oh because he used to play in that room. Oh, yeah, so I go. Okay. I'm here for a reason That's see it does little things like that. See it is sweet. Yeah Do you get depressed when you go on the road? Um, not lately because I've taken I've been taking somebody I take sandro yocala, you know the committee, you know sandro Yeah, he's I love sandro sandro. I take sandro now because

I did I was getting very depressed and I had an honest conversation with myself and I was like I don't give a fuck anymore. I want to take someone that I think is funny and good I'm not trying to cut local guys out of work. I'm just tired of being lonely It's not just that even though that I wanted a friend you want a friend you want a fucking friend It's also a lot of times They'll book somebody a feature. Yeah that Is normally a headliner Sometimes it was bitter to be there better. Right. Yeah, right and um

They also do local references on stage that get bigger laughs. That's my one. That's my one when I do I fucking hate it. Well, that's my one thing whenever I go. I don't have any fucking rules I don't care what you do with your comedy. Yeah, it's your time on stage. I get it Yeah, but I say out of respect to me You're not sitting and doing crowd work Don't sit and you don't do crowd work my two rules you can't sit on a stool can't do crowd work Wow, stand the fuck up and tell comedy and then bring me on stage and be cool. That's it Yeah, it's my rule books so fucking easy that when people fuck fuck me and I've had a few people that

Don't abide by those two rules and I fire them. I fired a handful of people you have 100% Wait, wait, wait, what do you go to the do you go to them or you go to the manager? No, I go to the owner or the manager and I say I can't work with this person anymore And they say why and I go I we're not getting along and I don't like it and they're stepping on these things that I don't like That's not sees or it features as well. I mean, it's almost impossible to fire a host Yeah, I fire I fired horses but but I've done it for I've done it for a few different people because not a lot just a couple times Yeah, yeah, yeah, just clear and present a fuck you to me what they did was a fuck you to me Yeah, and it was like no fuck you. I'm being so nice my only rule for you

Yeah, don't please don't sit down and please don't do crowd work. I had this one guy. It's so dirty easy thing This guy was a host. He was talking about finger banging Grandmothers. Yeah as a host right this kind of stuff. So I walk up to him. I go. Hey, man. Can you just not do that dirty? Yeah, you're you're the host. Yeah, you just brought my headliner. No, well, you're not what he said But but unfortunately you're not and I go and then he goes I took I took second in the texas, you know Funniest person in texas. Well, then in that case we should Sorry, I didn't know that so I go I don't give a fuck. I just just don't do it and then in the secretary We to defy me

Right, just to say fuck you to fuck you. He went even worse Like he bent the grandmother over in the bed and all that And so when he got upstairs I go you're fired Then he goes what he thought you weren't gonna fucking fire him. I go. Yeah, you're fired. He goes. What why? I told you he goes. Yeah, but you can fire me I go. Yeah, I just did it. Yeah, this is it dude and he kind of walked back like in shock Yeah, that's got a new host. Yeah easy easy. Yeah, the one I did I did the tampa Wait tampa tampa tampa. What is it? Yeah, tampa improv. Yeah with bob. I love bob a tampa improv years and years ago

They had a dude who was like 60 Be my feature the second night. Yeah, the first night was sandro He was local. Yeah, that's right. Cassandra's from florida. Yeah, he's from down there So he did the first time but couldn't do another night or something like that and this fucking guy Comes up to me before the show and he goes what kind of stuff you're gonna be doing tonight I don't know who the fuck he is. I don't know. He's a fucking feature. Yeah, and I go Uh, just the mice the stuff that I usually do what what I'm like. Is this guy a fuck does he work here? And then he goes, uh, I've never seen your stuff. I don't know who you are

I was like, then it clicks then I'm clicking. Well, this guy doesn't work here because why would he fucking say that? Yeah, and then I go, who who are you? He goes, oh, I'm the feature and I go, oh, okay, and he goes, but you know, I I headline this club all the time Oh god I know so I was like, okay, man. I shit you not sound drunk. I had a good laugh about this He goes on stage He does the material that he he thinks is very very good Uh, you know

Okay, whatever. I'm not gonna sit in this pocket for long, but he gets off stage He fucking Comes to not stays on stage to shake my hand walks off as I'm walking on doesn't even wait for me as he shakes my hand He goes It's a tough follow So what do you think I talked about for the first 10 minutes him Wow I ripped him to fucking pieces

Yes, and the owner was upstairs watching the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah, and they were buddies Like they were cool. Yeah And afterwards he says I said, uh, I said, yeah that fucking feature and he goes I know that guy we're kind of and we know each other for a long time and I go, yeah Well, fucking I wasn't gonna not do what I did and he goes. No, no, it was very funny. It was still very He's like, I'm just like, he's like we are friends. So I'm just, you know, letting you know, I go. Yeah, okay I mean, I didn't That that was my no no fucking way moment

Where he goes, no, it's a tough follow. I was like, no fucking way Yeah, I go give I give I go, uh, oh the first the first word. I don't remember his fucking name Yeah, the first words out of my mouth. I go, uh, give it up for one of my uncles And then everyone's kind of confused. I go, no, no, no, no, no, they let this guy Sometimes come here. He lives outside. He lives right outside of the club So if anybody on the way out, don't, you know, step around he's gonna be out there tonight But just go by him say hi to me And he's sitting he's sitting there in the back kind of looking at me watching. Yeah. Yeah, and I loved every second of it

It was nice to be mean to his eyes I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah But yeah, that that was the rudest I remember that so vividly thinking like what a fucking ass What an asshole move. Yeah, and I've never Anyway, rewind I'm way less sad on the road because it's Andro That's great because I get to take someone that I fucking love and we get to hang out and we have fun and we go eat and we've And for years, I couldn't I couldn't afford it. I couldn't do it and it sucked

And you know what I found myself hanging out with fans a lot, which is great But at the end of the night they go home Yeah, and then you go home. Yeah, and they're like, dude, thanks for fucking having some beers with us We'll see you and you're like bye Yeah, and I walk home like a sad man alone. Yeah, and I would you know, I don't even hang out I fly out my features, but I don't even hang out with them I like it because you hang out with billy or no, not at all. I mean, I do we go all the time No, no after the shows or before the show. I'll have a meal

But like during the day, I don't do like let's go see the sights I do that with his features like sandy danto and I yeah, we are kandace kandace thompson I invited billy to a spin class in the city, but he he slept there. Yeah, he declined He was politely declined. He didn't make it. He didn't make it Yeah, well, here's what I do so I'm a I'm a I'm a baseball nerd and I love going to baseball games 90% of the people that I hang out with in comedy don't like sports i.e Love soccer. Sure. Okay, because we're going to those games all the time arsenal fc fan

Okay, we won Tottenham. Should we go to arsenal? We did. Should we go to a game in ambrose and north? Yeah, should we take a should we take a 19 hour flight and go to a game? No, so I traveled around But I just don't like I don't like the way you fucking you you you you you you you you you fucking bully jock bullies Walking down give him a chance because he just got into baseball this year and he's slowly starting to get into it I'm not shitting on you. I'm saying I'm saying this out of my own insecurity I like sports most of my friends don't really like it that much in comedy It sucks for me because I go to things alone because most comics are like fuck that shit

I don't want to go so I go by myself to baseball games on the road But sanj like sports, so he'll go to anything. Yeah, so that's what I love that I was like Because I used to go on the road a feature. I didn't even know I go. Hey, man I'm a baseball guy. I would love to take you to a game tomorrow. There's a 2 p.m. Game I'll pay for your tickets your fucking hot dog and your beer Yeah, would you and the uber to get us in would you like to go? Yeah, and without fail every time No

Would you like to go would you like to go? I mean, it's like an infomercial And they won't and people said no to me. Can I I'm gonna tell you the one time? I forgot fucked up for the baseball game where I should have gone I was in the movie paul With simon peg. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Simon peg. Simon peg invited me to A pod raise game I said no, okay Why I just is he a pod raise fan

No, but he just he's not even a baseball guy. He just wanted to go. Were you in san diego? Yeah, you're shooting shooting in san diego, right and he said let's go to the game. Yeah, I said no I got no you said no to simon peg. Yeah, okay at the time though I didn't really know who he was You didn't know he was I didn't see shon of the dead That was the only thing that was out like literally one of my favorite movies. Yeah, I never saw genuinely Yeah, but and it was an alson jones casted it right so she I read in front of her

She's the best of all time in the business. Yep. I got the movie. I went and then when the movie came out I was cut out of the movie All right, you should have gone and literally and I'm a huge fan of it now Yeah, because I've seen salt, you know, I'm a star trek friend. I love the mission impossible. It was great He's a great writer. He's so good, right and every time I lay in bed. I sometimes think of him I do and I go No Like in my head like why would you you know, you know, you should get one of those

You should get him one of those um fat heads of simon peg to put on the Would you is there ever anything that you've done done that you've regret and you replay in your head? Like I should have done that. Oh my fucking god. So many. Yeah. Yeah. I have a million. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I have one that I could tell yeah what you do please Please tell me it's hard though Because I kind of want to save the story Save the story. I have I have something to say. No, no, don't save the story. I'll let you say it

Okay, but just tell the story please. It's very long. That's why I don't want to do it. That's very very long It was a bad mistake. I made and it's very very long I want to pivot and say because he's had a lot of these missed opportunities. Yeah I I invited him to go to the Philippines with me in March And now he's insisting that he fly first class because not for any other reason And then he thinks he will run into some type of fucking cheek or something And that's gonna give him some type of like makeup for like a missed opportunity in the past

He thinks he's gonna run into important people At in the first class lounge. What do you think they're gonna do for you? I'm gonna tell you a story friend It works all the time Well, you could just say I want to fly in first class because I want to be in first class Yeah, but the first class ticket's $12,000 you can afford it. Whoa Oh, right. I will not. We are not. No, I won't do it. And I'm doing it as more of a joke Like who what what idiot is gonna spend $12,000 on a plane ticket? Why is it that much?

Is it first class to the Philippines? All the way to the other side of the world That's not a cheap end. That's a cheap end You should do it And I go I'll just do one weekend and like the wise guys and I and I'll do you know, yeah or or Who fly? What's the name of the airline? Filipina. That would be an air. I I I'm Why don't you tweet a Korean air and go listen? Wow

Sponsor, I hado I recorded te disse purse glass I'll cross out a grove Knowing the earth is a fret I imagine if you tweeted them, what is this trend of all these comics tweeting at airlines? By the way, do you notice this? Is that a thing? Oh my god, it's all over the internet It's all over twitter. You guys who's ears?

Who's my what who do you tweet? No, no, no. I don't I see comics adam divine christilia all these guys They talk shit to the airline They're like you fucked up my fucking data and airlines always go Hey, please dms. We'll take care of it because they don't want to get their spot blow now All right, they take care of customer service stuff all that you tweet like crazy to Korean air And be like listen, but keep tweeting every day. Have one of these guys fucking do it Keep tweeting every day. Just start tonight. Hi Hey, hi

Hi and do a little find a gif of you Yeah, right and then say hi just a little bobby. Yeah. Yeah walking on the street with my friend Give every day until finally be like listen. I'm I'm trying to take this This trip to take my girlfriend back to but what if only he gets the first class ticket and I'm all the way in fucking coach No, I told you lady that I will get you business Business is not coach business is not coach if I have a little private room, right? After my slumber, I'll go out and if I have like a muffin or something that they gave me I'll slide it your way. They don't they don't let you interact with

I'm painfully economical. So yesterday on our flight back from DC He had first class and I I was in coach. What? Yeah, you won't fly first class I will not spend an extra $1300. I will not have him spend an extra $1300 for me. I'm perfectly comfortable Yeah, but but you're more perfectly comfortable in first class I'm uncomfortable thinking that $1300 is spent on my behalf. I'd rather that go somewhere else. But where? Like groceries Animal bills, but you're gonna get though. You're gonna buy that stuff anyway. I don't know. I just don't feel good about it I know, but I got over this hump too. I used to feel bad. I used to feel bad about stuff

Okay, well first class it is to the Philippines. Thank you. Not business. No, not for you for me I get first class you get business. Okay. I'll take business. Yeah, that's still a lot of money. Yeah. No, I'm premium economy But I'm okay with that. Premium economy. Yeah, I don't know what Korean Air does. They have premium economy What do they serve you in first class for to eat raw fish? Do they serve Korean food or Philippine? They have they have um, you have a western menu and then you have an Asian menu. That's a $2000 flight right there How much? $2000 flight if it's Filipino food because what is Filipino food? Delicious is what it is. It's duck embryos. We have adobo

Adobo is Mexican, right? You know what dude? Well, it's Spanish. There's Filipino people that come to my shows I'm just when I say things like that You don't have to worry about Filipino. We're not that sensitive. I'm just gonna say that this weekend A Filipino guy goes he raised his hand. He's like, I know I'm a jungle Asian and I he said that out loud Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, and I because I say that I know you do a lot and I look at them And I went, no, dude. I was just a joke. I love you, you know, I mean But in my head I'm like, why do I say stuff like that? And I and I want to never you listen Here's it. Here's the deal

But Bobby Lee wants to grow Bobby Lee wants to connect So, you know, the two kids that came they're not black kids. They're just regular people Well, they were black. You said that. Yeah, I know but I shouldn't have said that The way you said it to is on tape It's on tape. I know and I apologize. You went like this. They were like But you know what you're I I want to get over that. I'm 47 years old And I there's I need to grow

Okay, and I think this before And you right now you're rolling your eyes. Gilbert. I don't like it. Here's another thing too, right, dude You haven't said anything. Oh, we'll fucking podcast. It's true. Yeah. Why not about what Filipino? It's just in general Oh, this is great. Yeah, are you okay? Yeah, I'm okay. We just don't shut the fuck up. Yeah, what do we have time? Uh, Andrew Santina is over an hour, sir. Yeah, wow. He gets it. He gets it Well, you know, it's because we have a great relationship and we and we actually generally like each other You never introduced this guy to me by the way, Bryce. He's the best. Were you here last time? Were you here last time? Don't give yourself a fucking nickname

That's insane. What an insane person, dude. You're embarrassing yourself Hey, don't say nothing. He just said Big B. I know you were doing really good for the last couple of weeks He's just a Bryce. He's a little he's like, um, they're cousins, but he's like slower cousins in real life. Yeah I think a slower cousin Even the way even the way he defends himself as slow Tell us the little guy would get mad Big B I'm big B. That's me

Yeah, yeah Oh my god, wait a minute cousins from where where you guys from? Wisconsin it's so obvious, isn't it? Don't they look like they're from Wisconsin? Not only from Wisconsin there. They grew up in like, um, a religion. That's weird sda. Yeah, well seven day adventures Seven day adventure. So like no coffee. You guys were in that show dancing. You know what that is It's they call it linear Mormon. You're like the same line as Mormon, but it's yeah, that's so weird. I Not weird. Sorry, whatever But that's so fucking strange. Yeah, but you broke out. You're out of the cult

But not only that But they still do cult shit like the other day he comes over and he baked a pie from scratch a pumpkin pie from scratch and he goes Here very I go. Wow. This is needed though. I dude. I ate it delicious. No, it's not. I refuse to eat it Bobby would not you know why it didn't taste like a pie Why what he tasted like a meal didn't taste like dessert. It tasted like a meal like a main dish I don't want it. What did you make it? What did you make it taste like meatloaf? It was a meatloaf pumpkin pie. Yeah, yeah, it like that's what it tastes like doesn't taste like fruit Pumped pie from scratch. He's never had it. Oh my god. It's still in the fucking refrigerator. Yeah, but it's almost done because I'm eating it

Are you not afraid that he's you know doing something with the well? I'll that's why I took one bite You know and I feel like I'm immune to a lot of poisons. You know me because I built up immunity. Would you poison them? No, look at that face. That's not even an honest face I know I know we have problems with them. Hey ask me I'm gonna play that same character that he just did Yeah, this is a guy in a movie that asked me if I poisoned you and your girl. Hey, um, the pie that you baked. Did you poison it? No Obviously a poison pie

So obviously a poison pie That was really good So so the show's over that um, I'm dying up here. So what are you doing? And what do you want? I'm gonna go back on the road in 2019 but you Have a podcast and it's called whiskey ginger. Yeah, I was one of your guests. The best episode is yours It's the first one. Yeah, everybody loves it. We can't talk about it. Yeah, we did we probably do it 10 more times No, we that first episode we shot at first one hour

Yeah, and then we after we finished it. We looked at each other got that I will say that I know I love eric griffin and you guys have a good thing going. Yeah, but should I die My final wish is for you guys to do a podcast together. I don't think there are two better people Who me and griff know you and bobby. Oh me and robert robert. Yeah, we've talked. We have actually talked about it How many times but let me say this the amount of fans of his That says nice stuff to me

is it's It's crazy and they all go You guys should just do anything together. I think so. I think we should do a show together. I would The just the same kind of relationship. I would love that as racist. No much. Why not? Why not? Why? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, we did we also did a podcast a year ago Where you said to me, let's do a podcast. Mm-hmm. We're never gonna air it release it. Yeah, and we can say whatever we want Yeah, we should still do that, but we did that already. I know I know you'll never release it never red and yellow. Yeah, but it's Red and yellow if you combine it what color is it orange orange? Yeah, then that's more me

Right. Yeah, we don't do that. We don't do that. Yeah, but we I do have that podcast and it will never get released But you know, it's so great when I do die a tragic death. Yeah, I mean they're sifting through all my dog shit stand up Yeah, I'm so scared of that by the way that I have tapes of bit You know like because I've taped myself at a club and they give me the tape and they usually like watch it down sometimes Yeah, I have tons of that stuff I need to like fucking burn and get rid of it because I don't want someone to be like posthumously release shit right scares me because it's garbage a lot of it's so garbage Yeah, but like that. I'm gonna hide somewhere very sexy and make a code and a thing and go you want to hear one of the most

Fucking podcast. I mean we said things that would ruin our careers. Yep. Oh, wow Like every line was a career ruin. Yep bad, but it was so freeing. I mean to say everything I've let three people listen to it. Yeah And those three people told me that that was the one of the most fun things I've ever heard in their life But they were like you can't you can't do anything with that, right? No, are you kidding me? I don't want to go to fucking Social yeah, I think our careers would be over. I'm being genuine. They would they actually Believe our careers would be over. They would Because there's um, it's sexual if there's all kinds of it's fucked up. It's very fucked up. Anyway, um, but you know what it is

Everyone should try to do one of those though. Yeah, because it's it's free. It feels so nice to just talk at all It's great therapy. Yeah, because even today when we're talking you and I There are things I want to say that my gut don't mean but I don't do it Yeah, but it's like and then I stopped myself. You know better. I know better. Yeah, or even things that are on the fence You know, I try to stop myself. Is there anybody that we know that doesn't hold themself back? I think I'm trying to think I don't think so There's a podcast called come town. What is that? Who is that and those guys do not go to New York because they don't hold back What are their names?

um stop Stavros, but is it dirty to be dirty? Um, no, I think that they're just they just say at all Anything and everything but not even to be provocative. I just think that they refuse to be to hold to practice restraint Did they say the n-word and shit George? I've heard it Holy shit, yeah, yeah Which is freeing it. I respect you. There's an audience for that as well I guess hell. Yeah, they're killing it and their patreon makes like 30k a month Say 40,000 fans support them to do. Yeah. No, no, that's awesome. I'm not I'm not shitting on them. I don't know those guys

I think that's awesome. I just I'm surprised. I'm surprised that like I'm surprised. I don't know them. They're they're the most uh, I don't know a lot of shit I know, but here's the thing though. It's like wouldn't it be a great country if we could just say whatever we wanted Uh, well, you can't I know but this thing isn't that without any consequence Well, that's insane. Yeah, that's insane. You can't have anything without consequences Right as this is my this is my point about the way I talk to you and the way we joke around. Yeah I'm willing to face any kind of consequence for anything that I say to you out of jest that when we're joking around

When someone would say oh, you're being racist. I go. No, I'm not. Yeah, I'm willing to face it because I know the truth of it Yeah, like when I would never joke around about something that I wasn't sure of the truth of it When I bring on stage and you sometimes go into an asian accent. Yes, I always watch it It's my favorite because it makes me it makes me laugh so hard to see the audience, you know, I mean They get tight. Yeah, they don't get it And I look I look at I look at Asians in the crowd, right when you're doing it and you can hear me cackle Yeah, I'm cackling in the bathroom like a maniac Because I do it because I don't want him

Also, I want to protect him. Yes, it is so by me laughing like a maniac makes other people. Oh comedians It's okay what they do in comedy or whatever. Yeah, I think people need to know that it is a part of our world to joke around with each other Yeah, I want the one thing you don't do what as a comic I'll say this the one thing you never do as a comedian to another comedian Is like get on stage after them and then make fun of their material or mock it right You don't go mocking someone's material

Unless you're really close and you've had a kind of a conversation about right, but you don't take shots at someone's fucking material Yeah, and make a stupid comment about their fucking material to you No, no, you don't do that. It's so funny that you say that and I know what you're doing What but I want to let the audience in on it. Okay, I'm not going to say any names What am I doing? But before the podcast started I had mentioned two comedians. Yeah that made fun of my material When I brought them up They're comics that are I still work with

And I have no problem with them Wink wink. Yep And let's do now on at the end. We have to do this and call it unhelpful advice. Go ahead. Yeah Unhelpful advice with bobby kalayla and andrew santino Hi bobby lee. I have a very unique and disturbing problem a little background I work at a fairly fairly large distribution company on the west coast It's a typical eight to five office job. I spend most of my time sitting at desk in a cubicle Now to the problem. I have a co-worker who regularly beats his meat in the bathroom stalls

It's pretty obvious when he's doing it due to the shadows that are cast by the overhead lights Multiple people have witnessed his bathroom special time and have expressed displeasure With knowing a grown man is pleasuring himself just feet away while they are trying to take a squat This is happening on a daily basis. HR seems like an unnecessary avenue to fixing this problem But obviously this needs to stop. So the question is What do I do? Can I feel this one? Anomalysy, uh, what's the name? His name is uh, joe. Hey, hey, hey joe Leave that fucking guy alone

He's jerking off in the stall. Leave him alone. Yeah, he needs that time. Yeah, why are you white? First of all Casting shadows. Are you watching him? He must be hanging out He must be timing his bathroom breaks to get in there with unless this guy's jerking off all day long in the bathroom Then that's a work problem. Then it's like, dude, you got to get work. You got to get work done You've been jerking off for eight hours, but if this guy wants to take 15 minutes out of his day to go let some fucking stress out in the stall not bothering anybody Mind your business joe I mind your business joe. That's crazy. The first year I did comedy

Fred Burns Who's the manager club had to come up to me and go? I know what you're doing before your shows I go you heard about that And he goes, yeah, and it's just a little weird. You don't need to do that. You're jerking off. Yeah in the green room No in the bathroom Wait in the public where other people were you were no I was in the stall where they were people take a shit No, but I'm saying like you didn't have a green room bathroom. No, there was at that lawyer comedy store. There's no Yeah, yeah, yeah

So I would go to that bathroom in the back Yeah, close the stall and jerk off because I had so much anxiety Yeah, you had to get it out. I had to get it out and that was a real thing Yeah, that I did. Yeah, and then one day While I was jerking off in there I saw a drawing Fred Burns the manager had drawn a gigantic cartoon

Right of you. No of a man with Down syndrome molesting me What so you couldn't get hard? Yes, or did you get harder? No No, he knew that jokes on you Fred Gotcha, yeah, yeah, just a nut on a picture Made a drawing for you to as I have to say don't don't do that anymore, right? And then I um There was no one to confuse the boss. There's no one to complain of it, you know So I stopped doing it, you know You're in the privacy of your of a stall, right? I find literally nothing wrong nothing wrong with it either

You're not harassing somebody. By the way, if he's jerking off at his desk a little different. Yeah A little different. You're in a private bathroom I do have a really close friend of mine who happens to be just a really hypersexual He's just fucking his nuts are just always so full of Fucking jizz. Yeah jizz big jizz balls. Is it brice? And he needs to Big B For Bobby could I use your bathroom? What's up big B?

I just I want to go in there for a minute before I leave I love your big B impressions. It's such a good You're fucking idiot Big B Oh god, I'm with you on this one George. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, but this guy has to jerk off every lunch break Yeah, yeah, he has to it's something that his body. He's like, I I don't know what it is But it has to come out And he just his dick is always hard privacy of a stall. Yeah, he doesn't bother anybody doesn't creep anybody out

No, is this the other question the follow-up for this If the guy's like listening to porn or being weird in there I get I get then it's like, uh, dude, it's just public nuisance. But if he's just quietly in there What's the difference between someone pooping? You're pooping. It's a natural. You got to get it out. This guy's naturally. He's got to jerk it off He's not do he's not involving other people. Yeah, Joe. Leave him alone You do nothing and you and you stop looking for shadows. That's so That's weird. Yeah, very specific. Yeah, I think he's trying to put it off

You know, you know what this sounds like this sounds like he doesn't really think it's that weird And he might want to do it But he's asking what if the guy's a shadow puppet like a master or something if he met shadow puppets with his cock would be hilarious By the way, but I worked an office job. I I jerked off in the stall I mean not often but I had to I had to a couple of times in fact Yeah, yeah, I had a minute. I remember I remember very vividly having a midday I was like, oh god. I was so fucking horny And I went in the bathroom

And as I was sitting on the stall, I was like, am I gonna am I really gonna do this? Yeah, it was the matrix the red pill to the blue pill. Yeah And so I jumped into the toilet. I flushed myself down Like train spotting No, but I did I sat there and I thought god, is this gonna be is this gross? I thought is this gross? If I was in the stall, I was by myself. Do you do you flush to mask the sound of your um orgasm coming? Yeah, are you allowed? You know how people flush when they're as they're shitting. That's what I do I you do that while I push so that there is no plop. There's no. Oh, wow

What if you have a lot of plop? And also it's actually just courtesy flush. You're like pooping into a waterfall. Yeah That's just the smell it doesn't linger there. Yeah, you just got it You know, you know, you just got it. I think it's the most respectful way to shit. That really is I closed the lid and poop on it I sit and poop on it and then I leave it open so people get in there like what is this my dad caught me masturbating I tell you that story because in my parents bathroom the faucet in their bathtub is so Like it's so strong. So you're putting it on your so I would stick my dick on it

And I would jerk off like up on my knees upright like this with the with the water rushing down, right? And and I turn around and my dad's there Right. No, and he goes like this. He goes And he walked out of the fucking Video game and we never never talked about it a long time. He had this like a maniac Like that And we never said anything. Yeah, what a villain. Yeah. Yeah, like villain Well, that was a great, um, you know thing. Thank you for that. Don't say nothing. Don't say I don't say nothing

So whiskey ginger. Um, yeah, when does it come out? I'm probably on after uh, he said Arlington. Okay. Well, you ever need gigs after Arlington? No, that's not true I I don't go to Arlington for a minute. I think we I think bobby said it wrong. I go to Arlington I'm at Arlington January 25th and 6th. Oh, yeah, perfect plenty of time. Yeah, and then also The 19th. I'm in Bakersfield at Trembler. Do you know what that is? No This is something you should check out Trembler Brewing Company is up in Bakersfield. Oh, I've done it. Yeah It's the best. I'm going up there on the 19th. Have you done it before? No, man It's the best because I heard someone someone said when it tells in town, he wants to run new long sets

He just goes up there. It really is the best. I did Inside a brewery. It's amazing. You'd love it come out to Bakersfield come out to Bakersfield that but also go to If you're in Arlington all those people that came out to see me go see Andrew. He's one of my friends He's you have to he's a great guy and also the people the everyone at Arlington draft house I love you so fucking much and the manager You know, I'll we'll come back. Let's just don't do that again Listen, that was a really nice way of saying it. I'll come back. Just don't do that again. Yeah. Yeah

Is there any club that you'll never play ever again? Well, I mean the cap city club because of something that I didn't do that they accused Let's not talk about it. Yeah, it's a false hockey. Is there another one that that that you won't play because you didn't enjoy it Yeah, there was uh the Kansas City improv It's not even there anymore is right. It is always. I don't know because I remember the sunday when the manager goes So you want to come back? I go no And then he goes Can you get on my head? He got we got on our hands and knees and we prayed to the lord

What? Yeah, and he was weird. He goes, please jesus Please open bobby's heart. What I sort of got you in front of you in the we were on our hands and knees in the manager's office Yeah, and I did that. Nope. Well, I did do it. No, I'm saying fucking I would walk right and I looked at him And I grabbed my check and I left and I never saw him again That was really weird. What will I not do? I'm trying to think of there's one that I'll never do ever again that I've done that I was like um I mean, I'll never go back to

Kansas City to Stanford and sons, but I don't think they're even there anymore. Did you ever do that club? No, I did the opposite club Which is that oh one. Yes take a stand for that guy died that the the owner died sadly, but like the last time that I went man I just it was raining And they kept people out in the rain right I was like seat them and he was like, that's how we do it. I was like Kansas. No, don't do that. Yeah, don't sit my fans in the ring. Like it was I would know I've done I've done gigs and I went I'll never go back there go back and then like two years later

I'm like flying there. I'm like, why am I flying there? You know what I mean? Like I said, I'd never go back and I'm stood then you're there in that same green room Yeah, with no audience and you're going oh man, that's the worst. Yeah, but you know what? We're blessed. We're blessed. All right. Yeah, baby. We're gonna go to you're gonna fly first class of the Philippines Yeah, I'm flying business. I love Korean air if I can say that Korean air. I've been on it before I did first class Time to tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet. Anyway, give um, Andrew Santis. Oh, you know How many times have you been on this podcast twice? Twice is your second time right here. Yeah, come back. We gotta come back anytime. I will. I love you

And I don't it's really shocking that he's this is only a second time Can I can I I don't because I don't bother you about it. I actually bothered her about it and I was quick You know why because I respond. I know you're the shit. Yeah. Yeah. Can I can I say this? What the next time I come back I which I and I want to come all the time Yeah, he's gotta go What don't you like? Oh, no. Oh, no price. No, I love your price. Is it my axe murderer? Look No, because you have to stand for the last it's crazy. I love I've loved this guy

And I've hated him really why and I've been ripping him apart pissing you off, right? So then and now you're going to him and it's making him so happy There's a power shift and it relieves the tension a little bit. So thank you so much for that kill me How tall are you six five? So, yeah, I see two Anyway, give him a round of applause. That was great. That was great. Thank you We'll be back with some housekeeping and we are back with some housekeeping I would like to announce the real papayas of december 2018 now. We do have a patreon age Patreon patreon we have patreon and how do you say it patreon?

We have a patreon and we have three different tiers, but this is the third tier. This is the real papaya tier Yeah, um, it's growing month by month and I'll be honest with you too is the our Our side podcasts for the patreon have been interesting. Yeah a lot more fights A lot of emotional more real more real less edits less edits. They're really good. Um, and I'm just glad that we're doing it. But here are the real papayas of december 2018 Sancy saraj lover hafiz from singapore melvin floresz

Juan j aqua area. Hold on. This isn't agire, right? It says here aquaria. Yeah, Juan j aquaria You put aquaria here. What is it? It's agire agire. He's our one of our closest friends. Juan j agire You fucking piece of shit now. We have to give him a compliment as well Yeah, what's nice about Juan j agire big dick. Love it. It's got a hook at the tip Oh, look at the tip. So like, you know, he latches on it latches nooks and crannies. Yeah Um, we have lozlo the tie Yeah, lozlo is a great name. He's also got an extra toe. Wow. Yes. Necessary for swimming We've got lindsey lingi

Repent rampant. Oh, that's a new one. That's new. Yeah, lindsey. Welcome lindsey lingi rampant and i'm going to do a blessing on you You're welcome. And something's gonna happen Rachel wilkins is that new? I think she's been she's the best. I love you, Rachel. You're great. Wilkins and enjoy What life has to offer sancy heffees melvin Juan lozlo lindsey and rachel the real papayas of december. Thank you And everyone else yep. Yeah super sleepers. Thank you so much. Um, there's something coming your way Are you leaving wake? He's going to the spa, right?

Babe careful remi and then but honestly like uh to everyone on the patreon. We really appreciate it. Uh, they've been fun They've been like really really fun and uh, have they and by fun. I mean it's very emotional emotional, but I don't know but fun For people listening people listening in the room Stress levels are high quarter zone levels are spiked up, but we always you know It's it's it's just fun to listen to there was high drama left on the high drama last one It isn't always that dramatic. Sometimes it's very light and light-hearted. Yeah, right different things. It's fun Belly and if you want to mail us any packages, let's see if you guys remember we haven't said in a long time You can send them to

Let's see if you remember who's the first number one 1626 north wilcox avenue number 161 Los angeles california hollywood california 90038 To wait fuck that was pretty good 1620028 just to give it all at the same time 1626 north wilcox avenue 161 hollywood california 90028 It's also on our instagram. Yeah, and the description of every youtube video. So check it out there guys

Um any announcements reverse shout outs shout outs I want to do a shout out to my friend ro vilson Fernandez, he is an ambassador for the world wildlife fund in the philippines And he gave me the shirt that says read it gilbert. Uh, it's very hard to read but it's the gallogue Iyoko Uh-huh. You can't see the other the first letter ng. How do you say ng come on? No? No, no no Iyoko no plastic. Oh, are they saving? Uh, what are they doing with pandas though?

That's the world that's That's the logo for the world wildlife fund. I thought it was the world wide federation of wrestling. No. No, that's that's why wwe is w they had to switch number Yeah, because this takes precedence. This is more important Anyway, okay. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. What do you think Iyoko ng plastic means? Uh, which give me a hint Iyoko, okay. You're saying it's like just give me like don't give me like Iyoko ng Oh plastic is bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want plastic. I don't want plastic. Oh, I yeah, I don't want plastic Yeah, and it's um the philippines is one of I it's probably in the top three consumers of single use plastics

Put all the plastic on the table away guys. It's okay. We only use glass box. We're not hypocrite. Um, and so they started this thing So if you want to donate go to um world wildlife fund and then go to the philippines Uh, I think there's like dot ph or something like that I should have looked it up before I did this also her friends on ages got talents. Oh, yeah, he is a host on there He's the house. He's cool Send me one But the philippines I'll stop talking about the philippines

But when we go to the philippines, you'll see that although so much of it is so pristine and beautiful in the more populated areas The amount of plastic that they use is insane because we have a lot of things called sachets They sell single use. Um, shampoo single use conditioner. That's more affordable. It's more affordable for people in general so, um, we're doing it all wrong over there and this is they want to change that so Go to w w f dot ph. I think dot org If you're watching on youtube, there's gonna be a link below and also in the description So george will put that there

Has it on the uh, w w on the audio first. I'll just copy that over dot org dot ph Boom brice Big b big b Bryce, uh, how did you feel about getting roasted by? Mike's down on the floor brice How how was that? It was amazing. It was different energy of attention guys It's a good or bad Yeah, I've learned just gotta go for it. I think it was the first time I've ever heard you say big b to yourself though

Yeah, I like it. Yeah, I like it too. Change it to your because bobby is little b And you guys are a duo now apparently Bobby little b because they're a fucky. They're basically lovers. They have been for the past month. Yeah, you're big g I don't know how many times he's like, where's brice That's so fun. Yeah, every time I show up Yeah, I George is reminded every time Today when I walked in hey, where's price?

I think of bobby every time I played red red red dead redemption too Oh This is how I feel about it. Those cougars. Oh man. Those cougars are evil too. I don't fuck your cougars Hey, you know how much collider love brice. You know how much he loves red dead redemption It's always my face on the page rounds when you guys are talking about like But if but that face will change if you'd like to sponsor us rock star and red dead redemption You know what I need to help with I need to help with my listening face. I think my listening face is so bad. I think it's good

No, no, no, no initially, but it starts off as a smile like this like and then it turns into like a Like a disinterested kind of disgusted logos like these like Okay, can you try inside? I'm still smiling. It's just my face gets tired or something I think you can keep that but make your eyes bigger because what I I know when you're not into something your eyes just are like Okay, but my laugh eyes are huge I have one eye smaller than the other and my dad's always like that's okay He fucking John Claude van tham has the same problem. I was like, oh great fine. That's okay then Yeah, and I remember when I used to tell my dad like oh like I have this like bump on my nose

He's like it's called aquiline tom cruise has it. I was like these fucking man I like you have a man's face. Yeah, I'm like tell me Anyways, but um, I do have one eye smaller. Yeah, and but I will work on my listening face. So it's not like this Do you ever just like think about something else and arresting then like so you're like listening to that in your head? Well, every other people are talking. Um, no because I actually like listening to people It's just the face. It's just my face. Yeah. Well, you get like will you guys do this? Go like this and when you're sitting over there just be like Like this and then I'll fix it. Okay. Yeah, because I cringe sometimes. I'm like, what the fuck am I doing there?

You know, it doesn't look good. It's not inviting to the person speaking. I can do better Look at that growth. I made the mistake of well, stevie Turned off they see on the last episode and well, it's out this week It was so hot so stuff. I'm sweating. I started to get sleepy and I yawned I thought he yawned in the middle of me. In the middle of my yawn, I was like, no, no And Rex Dizzy called me out. He's like, he's been able to story, too. And I He's like this guy Yawned into my story. I'm done. I'm done. Oh

Sounds like sounds like that was a good thing to get him to pick up the podcast, you know The more the more you think about not yawning the more it has to come Like that's that's that's a losing game. Yeah, and you just have to kind of you gotta do Gilbert's yawning now. You asshole. Can't you do an internal yawn like that? Look, I'm gonna Well, it's unconscious and I wasn't I didn't think about it until I was in the middle of the yawn Oh, no, I'm yawning and I'm not hiding it and freeze frame that face It's just you gotta tighten the jaw you gotta So I feel really bad sorry Rex Dizzy. It's not personal. I like him

He's cool. Yeah, he should come on our podcast. I partied with him and dumb and Jenna one night Oh, is that after porn hub after the porn hub awards? Yeah, he's so fun. I love him Well guys, that's our show Thank you so much You can follow us on instagram at tiger belly on twitter at the tiger belly and you can email us any questions Or on helpful advice to the tiger belly at gmail.com And you can follow collilo at at calamity k How do you spell that? That's a good question. It's a k-h-a-l-a-m-i-t-y-k boom in your fucking face, Gilbert

I just got got I just got got George. Where can we follow you? George underscore Kimmel on instagram Yeah, big B. Where are you at right now? And then all Bobby Lee stuff at Bobby Lee live. Good night Hey prime members, you can listen to tiger belly ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today Or you can listen ad free with wondry plus in apple podcast before you go Tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com slash survey