TigerBelly - Episode 178: Dillon Francis Shoots To The Moon

Episode Date: January 23, 2019

Dillon takes credit for Spider-Man. Bobo gets a fast pass to a holy place. We talk Taco Bell hot sauce, angry yogis, the baptism of Gilbo Baggins, and a bar mitzvah to remember.Bonus content every Monday:https://www.patreon.com/TigerBellySupport us by supporting our sponsors! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Hey Don't say anything to us your name, I don't you know the rules, right? Yeah, everybody Everybody everybody Everybody everybody Will you start or what five every four three two one Everybody being funky tonight

Everybody being funky tonight Doing a good showing the TV what yeah Mm-hmm funky tonight Welcome Welcome so good Well welcome so nice Enjoy mm-hmm the wall Yeah, we're not building a wall. Okay, not under your wife. Why I not under my watch

Yep, but everyone's being funky tonight. What's it? It's been a funky day. Mm-hmm, but you know what I'm present I'm here and You know sometimes I show up to my house. This is my house. Yeah, I don't know, you know I knew that this next gentleman was gonna be on the was on the calendar Mm-hmm, I don't know exactly what they and when I found out it was this fucking skinny leg motherfucker right here, dude My fucking testicles were like turntables. Is that good or bad? Yeah Testicles You're trying to say it was funky. It was funky tonight. Yeah

Cuz I cuz I go who is it they go dill I go My suck sack. Yeah, God my dick. I love it But we got I love my day. I love my day and it works We got this guy right here. Wow. It's fucking Specimen of a white guy Like God fucked it, right? Thank you, man. I love it. Yeah, pink face. No lips. I love fucking the look God did it. God did it created with you my friend funky funky. Yeah, right with you George He had a bad day God

Mm-hmm. God was like, I don't give a fuck. I'm just gonna put the standard shit on right not funky not funky, right, but He gave you a heart like everyone else. Oh, look at like a physical heart like everyone. That's why you're alive That's why you're alive. We got fucking pan face Face all day every day, right all day put egg on it sizzle sizzle Sizzle sizzle all day every day funky. It's like you did a hundred yard dash in a 90-yard gym Hit that wall straight on with your fucking face and I feel combine. Yeah, and we got my beautiful cock cocky My cocky my my beautiful gay

We got kalala my girlfriend give her a run of give her a run I Funky specimen, and then we've got we got something Yeah, that's my turn my not tech turntable We got a special guest, you know, we don't really have returned guests very you know We've had the red-headed guy. What's his name Andrew Santino Chee-Chee, right? We got Chee-Chee. We got big big Guess who that is David so no no big big

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna give throw on some yeah, we got juju Oh And now we've got right which is this guy listen I did a show with him, right? I forgot it was called TV, okay, and I worked with him. He's a huge DJ He is one of the nicest guys. I you know, I wish you know I hope he lives for a long time because I want to know for the rest of my natural life, you know in heaven We're not talking why I just don't want to I mean, there's so many options

Oh, yes, I imagine the options in heaven Dylan right you can talk now Dylan Francis give him a round of yeah Imagine though if we were we die we go to heaven right Dylan. We're not talking I right because what are the options so many options right so many cool people up there, right? Yeah, who would you who would you hang out with in heaven? Probably David Bowie like he's up there. Yeah, why would you want to talk to me? I would you know if there was a heaven party up there and Cleopatra's there we would Hudson you would stop by and we'd be like good to see you

Well, or we might just look at each other from across the cloud room and just go yeah I know I knew that guy on on earth. Hmm. You would probably tell the person we're talking to love that guy Oh Abe Lincoln Right Abe Lincoln would be a cool dude. I would want to go see if George Washington has the wooden teeth Right, open your teeth George. Yeah in the party, right? Right, right. It's a secret. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know some maybe some composers, right and so Beethoven Beethoven, right? I would probably not say anything to Van Gogh, but just sneak up to see his ears

You're a mean I wouldn't say anything, but you know, I knew about the ear thing, right? I'll go yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, that's real He doesn't get his ear back in heaven. No, no, no you lose it there. Yeah, you lose it there like everything you do in the mortal world Right happens to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right, Caitlyn Jenner. No dick up there Right up there, you know me and she might want to back like can I at least see it and God's gonna go? No, no No, everything you do down there. Right, right, right. I think so. I think it's in the Bible. Yeah, it was written. Yeah So what are last we did the podcast the first time? Yes, and then what did we do after that? We saw hereditary together and

After that I watched it four other separate. Yes, sir. So many. Yeah. Yes, sir. Now. I'm gonna say something. Yes When I sat in that theater with you Right here comes you kept turning to me. Go and just you just said one thing great movie No, no, no, you know, you know, that's not even what you said you go. What a movie. Yes. What a movie Right, and you kept saying it and I remember the credits rolling up us Getting up and leaving the theater and I looked at you again. I said, yeah, what a movie and then you just walked on the sunset and disappeared You didn't say goodbye. You just kind of like Barely said goodbye. Really? Yeah. No, no, no, we ran into Skrillex. Did we? Yeah, remember Skrillex. Oh

Yeah, no, but I thought that was before the movie that was before the movie. So don't ever try to I definitely said bye to you. We definitely walk towards That's right. That's right. You said hey, I never want to see you again. Right, right, right But I did say well, I'll be back on the podcast. What does Skrillex want? Skrillex didn't want to talk to us. Right, you know, he remember it was like kind of like It was like, oh, I'm not seeing a movie. I'm like, we're seeing a movie. Okay, cool And he was with a fancy girl. Yeah, we're gonna come to the other theater. We're gonna watch a blade I think we might not play it. Um, it was Deadpool too. We might have ruined his day. We did one of those off

Yeah, yeah, I don't know but you know that thing what happens when you're like You're with a new person brought and and you because I didn't know who right right and you're like, oh damn it I there's Dylan. I gotta talk to him. Are you guys good friends? We're good friends But I mean any person even when I see other people and I'm on a date. I'm like, oh, come on You thought it was you thought it was Brenda Mordell from no, I first I thought it was a dwarf Honestly, honestly, I thought it from a glance. Yeah, I go. Oh, that's a cool like DJ dwarf DJ dwarf is the name. I don't know. I mean, you could have you could have thought it was what does he look like again? Cory Cory

Felden he could have been one of those too. Yeah. Yeah, the Cory film is not tall So he could also be mistaken as a dwarf. Yes. Okay, and FYI wait, but did I make you mad when I was saying? No, because I'll tell you why Because that movie a Lot of people watched it and said we walked out or we hated it Mm-hmm, where I had me and Kalaila when we watched it. We had a visceral reaction. I remember that right So I was wondering what kind of person you'd be right and I found out that night that you're one of my people a Sensible guy who has relatively the same sense of fear and also in terms. No, I'm being real

And also a sense of like oh the pacing of a movie. I like this pacing. Yeah, like, you know big big Eric Griffin. Yeah, all right likes What are jump scares? Yeah, oh, yeah, I mean like I'm coming out of nowhere, right? And you know, you love that trailer. Yeah. Yeah, and he goes. Oh, he does that right, right? Yeah, it's just big black tits, right? But you and I are more psychological that That part where you screamed I loved it. I scream eyes. I had to hold in my lap Often did he scream it was only one time it was when her I mean we can say this Yeah, her head flew off. Yeah, I didn't expect that to happen at all. Yeah, and Bobby goes It was so funny I know. Oh my god. I know ice cream. So right, baby. I I'm worse than anyone in the theater

No, it's but you're genuine. This is genuine reaction. It's my favorite thing ever Yeah, I don't know if I told you this last time and maybe if I did I'm sorry But there is my favorite time I've ever seen a movie as I was at the Magic Johnson movie theaters With my friend Eric and we were watching Paranormal Activity and this girl gets flung up to the ceiling and drops down It's silent in the theater and some guy goes. Oh She did Wow and every single person in the theater was like-minded and just started cracking up It was the best commentary I've ever heard. It was only one time in the movie. Yeah

Yeah, it was the pinnacle point and it was so it was just like you can't you can't even pay for that That was amazing. Yeah. Yeah, you know what at the timings, right? You can say things. Yes, right? Absolutely But when we saw hereditary the first time in Seattle We were interrupted and there was a whole thing remember. Yeah. Yeah, because we're genuinely frightened, you know, and they were pissed that we were frightened Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry. I'm scared in a scary movie. Yeah, yeah, right Me crazy these fucking people, you know That's like at my studio. There's a there's this yoga. Say it again. I'm my studio. You have a studio where I make music Well, wait, you have your own studio. Yes

Okay, wait, stop. I have to make music. I understand you make music, right? But just the way you say it, you know, I mean, I Have a studio. I know it's just like, you know, apartment. It's like me saying No, it's great. It's a student. Where's the studio at? It's not an apartment. Yeah, I know. Where's it at? I can't say I mean just what general town what if what if people start going to exactly the place I'm talking about? I know I don't say like the address but like West Hollywood. I don't think there's that many yoga studios in front of the studio But there is this yoga studio in front of my studio. Yeah, and the people there are Insane why you know how people that do like when you do yoga, you're supposed to get more relaxed

Right, these people heckled the shit out of us like if there's any trash near my place They just come over and they're like, I'm gonna fucking call the landlord right now if this shit isn't picked up. No, yeah Do they know who you are? No, who cares? I it's about it's just I'm bringing it back to the people that were like wait wait We're in a scary movie. You should why and then the you're a yoga studio. Why chill about everything Don't come harassing me and screaming fuck Are they the people that own it or no people that go there they rent just like I do Yeah, yeah, or at least yeah, whatever it is, you know that's the same thing

Yeah, why are there two names for renting and leasing? When they do the exact same. Is there a difference? So what you're basically is there a way on is there a difference between renting Leasing it's like an office space, right? You can use a lot Yeah, you can you can't rent a car or you can rent a car different than leasing a car I honestly don't rent things more expensive. Yeah, I don't know what leasing means. I never learned It's like that with the watch the clock thing with the hands, you know, I can't tell time with the clock Oh, yeah, right and then and people try to explain it to me, you know, and I refuse to learn

Oh, but you're refusing though. I know I refuse to learn what leasing is as a well Okay, I know what it is. I my parents are on the store. Yeah, but I they used to use the word and I never asked What what is it? I learned I'm willing to learn now. It's like renting. He just said it It's just one of the same. So when I'm leasing a car, let's be right office space, right? If I'm leasing a car Dylan. Yes, I can Drive it brand new. How much does that cost to me? Depends on the APR

I mean if you're getting a Toyota Corolla, you can get it as low as $230 a month. Yeah, right and then after 12 months I'm like, I don't want to lease this anymore. You can send it back. Stop the content No, you if you have if you have low amount of miles, I think but it has to be closer to when your end your lease is ending Yeah, and then they'll get they'll take it back and then you can lease a new one. Yeah, wow And and then what do they do with that car? They shoot it at the moon That's how there's so many craters up there. Really? Yeah, they're all 10 days and wow Raph fours. That's what those craters were you fucking cocksucker. Science alert. Elon Musk, dude. Fucking asshole, man Are you good about returning rental cars? Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. No

What's the longest you've kept one and what's what's the highest overage charge you've ever spent? Well, I just want to know if you can beat Bobby This is a good story though. I forgot to get the insurance when I was yeah, always get the insurance on a rent a car always It's the worst lesson I've ever learned. I I Was parking the car and it and this fence just somehow I wasn't even going fast and it's I don't know It's speared straight through the door. No straight through the door a metal fence. Yeah, we had to go find a really really really Really sketchy place to find another door to put on this Ford focus that I rented and you never told them now So you you put I don't know just some thought that door could have fallen off now. Right, right

This is my dad. Thank you dad Your dad did this my dad was like don't ever do this again. You fucking moron This is a long time ago. I'm gonna fix this Wow, but you're coming with me your dad's a fixer. Yeah, so he fixed it He found some person to put the put the door on for $1,000 and I had to work So much to the high school. This is yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was so bad because now if you didn't now What would do what would you do? I would shoot the car at the moon You son of a bitch

It's your car door over the weekend what your mom did to my car what you did Your car door what your mom did. Well, there's two stories here. Let's hear both. Let's hear both. Don't let's not get angry I could tell she's gonna hold it so quickly. She was about to get angry. I don't want to get angry what I did This is what I did What did I do switch? I'm gonna explain to you what I did. Yeah, I'm gonna explain to you what I did. Okay, I Don't forget where we're going. Where are we going? Korean barbecue Korean barbecue

Okay, so I have a little Prius and Her mom merit this Can I see her name? I love her. Hmm. She's family to me. Okay, explain how the parking lot looks like Giant cement pillars the cement pillars everywhere. Okay. Okay. Okay cement pillars I get in the car Kali gets in the front seat of the car the back door opens and Oh, and oh, yeah in my head. I'm like because I've had you know people open the back door as well

Over the past. Thank you. So I have a general timing in which when to back out. Yeah, right a couple seconds five seconds, but yeah, right I Twelve seconds in I go, it's good Robert DeNiro face. Yeah, it's good, right? So you know, so I back out But the door isn't closed and it hits the pillar and I keep backing out because he doesn't as if the loud Crunching sound wasn't enough indication that his car was breaking. Yeah, and my mom's leg was still hanging out Yeah, and he he doesn't just back out. He he tries to shoot himself to the moon It's one whole thing the cars destroyed. Let's already go

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and so the car he basically ripped the his right car door We off the previous off the body of the mom's leg is fine, right? Mom's leg. Thankfully fine cuz the pillar was there. Oh my god. If the pillar wasn't there, it wouldn't have been fine She almost died from eating rice one time too. So She's Asian and she doesn't know what I So she's choking in our kitchen and I had to do the Heimlich and it was really traumatic I can imagine that's Here right and her doing the Heimlich I run in from this room and her mom is purple

Dying right and I just went and got a phone But it was the it literally was the scariest moment of my life. It's the most traumatic Yeah, I don't know why that I did a joke on it before I'm sorry about that. The joke's pretty funny. It's funny She you ran it past her and she laughed so I didn't run it past. I heard the joke. What I just did the judge. She choked Yeah But you know that okay, you know, that was my white person Elon Musk Yeah, yeah, why do white people like Elon Musk so much? What I don't know. I'm asking you're why I don't even know you're white

You should know you know that up until two years ago He didn't know who Elon Musk was and on one of our original podcast He tried to tell me that Kaiser so say was far more relevant to society than Elon Musk Because he didn't know who Elon Musk was and he and the hold on and then he goes on to say we should take a survey We should see what if people you're gonna lose that survey nine times And I was like no more people know who Elon Musk more people know Elon Musk than Kaiser so say He was like I refuse. I've heard that name. I don't know anything about this man You don't know anything about so say no that you know about Kaiser so say he likes little boys. Oh

His character the real actor plays Kaiser so say oh the guy that plays Kaiser so say likes little boys Yeah, but not the character Kaiser may at least threw me off. Yeah, you know George. You know who Kaiser so say is a A thin lips, you know, no, okay. Well, there was a movie called usual suspects You ever see it I haven't that's what but that's why I've heard that name before Honestly, it's I think it's like Shawshank redemption. Okay. It's my favorite movies. It's what Brian singer You know Brian singer. He yes, that was you know, Brian's not. Yeah No, no, no, I don't know him But his name just makes me laugh because Brendan Wardell did did a joke in this old thing and it was just it's very funny

Yeah, yeah, okay, but Brian's singer. Do you know he is? You'll probably hang with him in West Hollywood. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, but Brendan Brandon Wardell did that your studio where he pretends to be a 16 year old kid And he's like I got to go out because I heard Brian Singers having That's The director immediately that's a person in his personal life. Yeah, okay, but as a as a director is very good As a director, he's very fine personal life. Yeah, I don't I don't care about his personal life, but um he did a movie called usual suspects and

You had never seen Benisho the tour before that he was in there. Okay, Kevin Spacey was in it, you know, and Probably shouldn't watch it then. No Gabriel burn. It's still I mean, yeah, maybe you're right. I don't know I think he fucked up the movie. Yeah Is that true like let me just say something like If I'm on the road like I'm in South Africa or whatever I'm in my hotel room and the Cosby show is on. Yeah, is that should I not watch it? reruns This is my favorite episode I like this episode when Theo, you know, I mean gets in a corax of it

And then I'm watching it. Is that bad. I mean he is getting residuals That's true. I think you have to yeah, you got it at the change channel. Yeah, really? Yeah, like, okay Fine Kelly song comes on immediately Yeah Like I have I have to Louis C K specials on my itunes. I mean on my got library and I Watch them again. Is that bad? You gotta throw them out. I gotta throw them out. Yeah, throw your iPad out Right so when when somebody's in deep deep and artists is in deep deep

Social trouble, right? We would that there there are just goes out the window. I don't know people. I think you can Michael. I mean I Think I think it just comes up to you when you're by yourself You can do whatever you want when you're by yourself, right? I don't know what porn you watch. Yeah, there are some weird porn Yes, like the step the step porn is so big now What's step porn like step mom and step son and step daughter step dad, but it's not real. They're acting, right? Yeah, but still yeah, is the step gonna disappear and it's just gonna be regular cuz it's gonna happen soon cuz some Weird person is gonna do it and it's gonna hit it's gonna hit the algorithm

And it's gonna go fucking huge and everyone's gonna be like sorry to fuck man. We got to just make it I'm sorry to educate you right now my friend, but one of the most classic Pornos from the 80s is it is taboo. Yeah, which is daughter son There you go. You know father daughter family family shit, right? Now they're doing step, right? Yeah, still not It's not real. Hey. Yeah. Yeah, if it was real incest though That's good. It's probably gonna happen. It's probably gonna happen on Pornhub. Yeah. Yeah, you know what porn that's the algorithm hits man

I know I know somebody that watches a particular type of porn and And I was just like is it real in my head? So one day like a year ago. I looked it up I was on the road. I just looked it up and it's Crack porn crack porn. Yeah, so it's no it's crack addicts. Yeah, female crack addicts who are obviously they're not actors Yeah, they're real crack addict and they want for that They want to get it's a genre crack money or heroin money Yeah, but they you know me do this porn when they don't even want to be there, right? Yeah, just so they can fix, you know, and there's such a sadness to it. That's so sad

Yeah, and I had my dick out and I mean just because I was cuz I was like maybe this is for me Maybe it wasn't I You have a heart. No, yeah, I was watching it. This is terrible. You just reminded me of another one I don't remember what I did do it. I'm just saying I don't know out there. Yeah, there's another one where it's it's Uh, it's like super degrading It's this guy that that it's girls that want to get into the business and he takes them on and then he starts Just berating them with just horrible comments, but they're they just take it because They're there to make money usually after it my friend. I forgot where my friend showed it to me

I forgot what it's called, but it's the set. It is legitimately the saddest thing. I will It's the saddest thing I've ever seen though because it's like he'll ask a question and be like, what's your best feature? And she'll go um, and then he'll immediately cut her off and go It's clearly not your fucking brain and then they just kind of have to sit there and smile and it's it like it makes Me know cuz there's like you're already at that like I don't know strip clubs make me sad, too Why like maybe there are some girls that want to do that They're but if I'm like it kind of like you hit this point that you have to and then most strippers also were like Yeah, I was doing this for like a second, but the money's so good

So I can't get out of it and also like, you know I gotta pay for college right now and then they probably get a degree and they're like Well, the money's still so good because the degree sucks You're just like oh, it's a trap. It's a trap. Yeah, and I feel so sad Cuz a lot of them make a lot more money than most really good money, especially like traveling ones. Yeah, it's crazy crazy You know, I have a I think I've said this on an earlier podcast But I have a friend who's an artist and one of his really really hot girlfriends from New York Does this thing yearly where she does like a charitable fuck to the ugliest guy

She can find like if she goes inside a taxi cab say for instance and the taxi driver is just as fucking 55-year-old fat grimy sweaty motherfucker She does a charity fuck and it's something it's something I don't know how what psychologically it gives her some kind of like boost like she's doing good for Once a year, but this is she's legit. She does this every once in a while. She will fuck super ugly men Wow, I'm just say I'm gonna throw you might have to cut this out Okay, I might though I just want to throw it out there. Okay, I feel like there would be less mass shootings Well and horrific things that went on the world

Right if all women did one charity fuck a year one charity fuck Man, I wonder what that does psychologically, but is that too much might cut my yeah Is it like a giving thing? Is it like a giving back feeling? I guess so dude It's gotta be but she I think it's something like when she sees the look in the man's eye like what this is happening Maybe she's getting turned on by that too. Yeah. Yeah, and it's what a gift. That's so nice. What a gift Yeah, thank you. You're a fat all of us. You're a fat Armenian dude who's 60 Right, you've been laid in 12 you want to go to your bed And he just nuts like I don't even need to go anymore. Thank you so much. Yeah, where do you need to go?

That's fine. I'm here. I would probably if I was in that situation. I was a 60-year-old fat ugly piece of shit and And and a hot chick did that I would probably believe in God Go and you said go to start going to church and because there is a God That doesn't gift from that's a spiritual divine gift a divine gift from the Lord Imagine the guy going to like his local bar at the end and he's like guys, you will not I Don't yeah, that never happened. Yeah. Yeah, show us the videos. I had to delete this She was so nice. I told her I would yeah, but you would feel bad if they all went. Oh, yeah, we all did her too

Oh, yeah, you feel bad. You wouldn't feel immediately go. Oh She's ugly dudes Wait, I am Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was so good-looking Wow, so this girl does that once a year. Yeah, wow That's interesting. That's really interesting. I mean, it's never check in on them later on. How have you been since? I got a better job This woman that loves me for who I am. Yeah, she also takes all the But you know, I've seen good-looking dudes though good-looking LA dudes like, you know hook up with powerful old women

Like, you know, I mean, of course, that's a That to me is common. Yeah. Why is that common? I Mean, it's a it's Yeah, you get right both it's a both, you know, yeah, they're yeah, yeah, yeah, because I know, you know, I'm like, I can't but it you You've never held their relationship So many names. I want to say I can't do it. Didn't you like fuck a grandma like the backseat of her like caravan Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, like who did it? Okay, so I was in I was in Sacramento Sorry, I don't know why that's

I bet you know have no gigs in Sacramento. I have a cup. I've had a couple but it's just funny because it's just you know Yeah, I had sex with the grandma. It's called sack Romento My brain's weird. I don't know. Yeah, a weird joke in my head. So there's this If you guys ever seen the public in Francisco video where he has that mental breakdown on stage and that's the same club Oh, yeah, so it's it's called the sacramento punchline and it's in a mini mall and it's very depressing I like the punchline chain and I love life nation. I love Molly and who books that I'm grateful. Thank you But it's next to a mattress store and it's a little weird Me and so anyway, I was with Kevin Christie who very funny actor and comedian and

After the show, you know, I sometimes take photos with fans and this old lady came up to me And she got very Funny young man or something like that. If you give me a handshake Here, I had you know, I mean and then there was a note Right. Oh, and then I opened it. She was calling me. You know, I mean, I think you're cute or whatever So after the show I was with Kevin like do you believe this and Kevin goes are you kidding me? She's hot She was she was a grandma though. No, she was a grandma, but she was like imagine like I'm thinking gray hair No, I'm thinking think what's not pretty? What's like select? I think

Cindy Crawford, but 55. Oh, wait, awesome. This is way. Yeah, she had like breast implants. Oh, I totally thought there was like a walker I don't do I don't know. She said yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She said oh, I just thought yeah I don't know why I felt like curly gray hair Oh, yeah, she looked well the stories the who gives a shit about that then if she's a hot chick Like I always say this accomplishment I always say like Helen Marin is one of the hottest women. Yeah She's like in between Helen Marin and Cindy Crawford and Cindy Crawford in that ballpark. I'm super hot. Okay. Yeah Did she have a mole?

Fucking mole. No, he's telling her to paint it on Oh, but she got wrinkly like her neck was very wrinkly Okay, her hands were very wrinkly, but that well done the nails. Yeah, but she's like she keeps but she keeps up But she's still fucking old older woman All right, and also I was at that time. I'm 47 now 35 Okay Well, anyway, I'll say that I appreciate the story a little bit more stories not over

So then I know I was just saying that so I went to a Wing is like a wing Like a wing store where they have stop like that's not wings a while wings. No, it was a higher grade wing I just remember there being wings. Okay, right chicken wings. Mm-hmm. You're the ones that you eat. Yes. Yeah, I love them Yeah, I love them right so good delicious kitchen 24 has got some great ones if you haven't ever tried them I want to go that wasn't a plug by the way. That was just like I've never had their wings They're hot wings are incredible and the pineapple on coenga. Right. Yeah, chicken. What? 24

Okay, anyway, okay. Yeah, I fuck not So I remember afterwards she had a Bronco, right? Oh, so even cooler than she had Toys wait, so I thought it was like a Toyota Sienna. No, there was toys all over the fucking you're making it sound like it was like Detroit Rock City remember the part where she like puts her foot on his dick and he jizzes his pants you remember that movie No, I didn't see that. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, this is sounding like it's that scene. Yeah, there's like you're in a car She's a cougar. Well, I'm telling you right now. I didn't see so I'm not you know, I mean This is not the scene of the movie. This actually happened to me. I don't know. Maybe it's the Mandela I've talked about that before great effect. It's a great effect. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah happened to me recently

Yeah, what's one of them? Um, life is like a Box of chocolates. I've said that so many times. I know but that's not what it is But it wasn't me. It was for a scump That's your Mandela And there was her grandkids toys all over the things and I remember how that you know me and okay and making our other And she pulled out a titty and her titty was a tit job, but the but the the nipple part are ariolo was wrinkly But it was fine. I liked it ring nipples actually stay intact sweetie. So that's bullshit No, it was like seem older like like oh, it was really maybe protruded out like really breastfed before. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

Yeah, it looked aged forget. Yeah, I find whiskey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I sucked on it. Oh my god I like that. Yeah, I sucked on it. Oh my god. So much stuff I I did it like that. Oh such a bone marrow. I sucked and goat cheese came out. Oh Oh my god, I just got a burst of goat cheese, right? Wait, did anything come out? No, okay. Yeah, and I actually not like gold bond But what happened was her At the second night she brought her grandson who was 12 Mm-hmm to meet me before the show because he was a mad tv fan Sweet, but that was a little weird and then I just just like I can't this is getting weird

So the first night you did stuff. No, we just sucked on her titty. That's it. That's it and made out with her. Okay Yeah, yeah, I don't know why we went into that story, but um, I liked it Yeah, I love it. What what's the what's the oldest girl you've hooked up with? Oh, it's oh man I remember it specifically that she lived right by my parents house. Um I feel like I was 22 or something and she was definitely like 39. Wow and Uh, there's two times actually There was another one where I was at my cousin's wedding

And I don't know how I got away with this, but so I this is the first time I'd met these two other guy cousins that I'd never met before and uh When we were there, we're like, hey You know wedding krasher style. Let's go scope out. What's what's here blah blah blah? And uh, I found this blonde girl. I was like, all right, I'm gonna try to talk to her She definitely looks way older than me. Yeah, and I think I was 18 at this time. Um, didn't have a fake idea or anything and um, I had been interning

For this woman that had made a bunch of the stuff for spider-man like the the 3d graphics So this is so I went and talked to her and I pretended that that was me that did that Because I knew all the tricks that she had done. So I was like, yeah, I worked on spider-man You know the you know the nails from the girl. Yeah, I made those Uh, yeah, it's on this pro. I forgot what the program that she used was called But I it was just really funny. I was like, oh, I forgot my idea. Do you think you can get me drinks tonight? And she's like, yeah, don't worry. I got you. Wow. She kept getting me drinks the whole night And then we were dancing and she whispered in my ear. She goes, I want you to make my night nasty

Wow 18. Yeah, and then we went to some different bar that somehow I don't even know how I got into There was a bar mitzvah that had happened earlier. It was like a hotel bar thing in san francisco We went into the bar mitzvah room and I sat down on the bar mitzvah chair and she gave me a hand job At a bar mitzvah? In this bar mitzvah chair. Yeah, and then I never saw her again And then my cousin fell asleep that night in the bathtub and almost killed himself very weird night Because he got so drunk and he was just cut that part

You piece of shi- sorry, sorry, sorry, I got a hand job I got a hand job and my cousin killed himself. My bad. My bad. Okay, I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah, I'm so sorry Fuck your cousin. I got a hand job, and then I never saw him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah And then the try to scroll down in the movie. Yeah, right You didn't even you didn't even do anything for her. She just wanted she just no because she went so her So after that her friend kept being like whatever her name was I'll just say her name's Rachel Rachel We gotta go and she was the one that wasn't you know the friend that wasn't getting anything Would you have been able to make her night nasty at 18? No?

Absolutely not. I mean the only nasty thing we did was I jizzed my pants on a fucking bar mitzvah chair She was sitting on time was the most awkward handjob, too It's just like There's definitely a better place to do this Weird and cool and it's a bar mitzvah chair nice callus finger 13 year old was sitting here before And I know you're 18. Are you Jewish? Me? No I'm Jewish. I know the brookie baroo cha-tie. I drew up in LA. Yeah, my friends are Jewish. So yeah, what are you? I never asked my dad's a

What is it spirit? Oh wait self-realizationist. Oh, so I used to go to the self-realization Fellowship wait on in Malibu Self-realization list we're self-realizationist Let me say it again stuff self see it again. Say it and I'll say it again. I'll say it Why you laughing at me? I don't I do I have problems with the word Why are you laughing don't laugh? I you're making me feel so conscious Yeah, yeah, but I want to look really excited to say it. I want to say it, but I want to learn self-realizationist Self-realization list that you're adding too much. You're adding

realizationist you're at it again self-realizationist self-realizationist. Yes It's it's like Buddhism Hinduism Judaism and Catholicism like wrapped into one Spiritual religion the good parts in each that's exactly like Jesus was the son of God just like all of You know, it's like everybody is which I think is in Judaism if I'm correct. I don't remember I'm not I'm not really religious your dad was that yeah, so I used to go there and it was like a lot of like a Lot of chanting prayers not necessarily like singing. It was a lot of that like

Meditation meditation. Yeah. Yeah, my dad meditates every morning Because he's an alternative medicines doctor. So like it mixes in perfectly very Asian. Yes My dad still is that yeah, wow. He went and studied in China for two years in Japan for I think he's a lot of ginseng is that correct? Yes, we grassy I take I take I take my my medicine every more like I have my herbal medicine that I take every morning I feel like that kind of religion though is Is open yeah, right? It's not judgy. No, it's not saying like oh you're gay. You're you're an abomination No, it's absolutely. There's nothing like that. No, and I also sounds like like self-betterment And it's also never a person coming at you and be like you're wrong

No, what the no one there is ever was like you need to do it this way. It's more like realize yourself Whatever it is. Yeah, see that's that I can get it and it's also it's like taking away materialism trying to realize that You just being here. Yeah, the best gift you have Oh, man. That's a good one. Yeah. Yeah, and then that's why you I honestly because listen, I'll be honest with you Listen, I'm gonna say something. Oh That's what he's wanted to say Get that get it. No, but what else I'm sorry Scared you start or I scared everyone in the room really like leaning in

I'm sorry. All right. That was a wicked one. You shot it right. I know. I know that was rude. His lips are gone. Even though I But I honestly want to say this there is there is a When I first met you people go Dylan Francis is in this this show that you know, I had heard of Vanderbeek What's his first name James James Vanderbeek? I believe it's heard. He's done this podcast. I love him great guy Yeah, family man. Good heart. Great. Great, right? So when I met James Vanderbeek, I was like and I met that skinny meth addict. Yes, Brandon Durmer When I heard that there has never been a better explanation of Brandon Durmer What if you don't know him you definitely think he's a meth addict? I know

You're like, dude, that guy's gonna steal my car right now. Yeah, but not only that FYI for your information if you don't know what that means Come on Dylan get with the program. I forgot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm in Milano. Well, I owe it Brandon Brandon actually Did really something really nice for me and he let me know about a super sale on Junko jeans It was like they were like $10 each and just to like keep him out of like just you know for vintage purposes

Is the nicest human being yeah talented. Yeah talent this bitch. I cuz I know I'm gonna say this I this guy Brandon Durmer, right, right? Yeah, and James Vanderbilt. Yeah, these guys, right? I like James. He's I knew him from Dawson's. Yeah, and I knew him from other movies football shit, you know But then this other guy I had to Google his work and they showed me like films and shit He did and I go oh Oh, this guy's good, right? And they go he can do this shit for no money. Yeah, right insane He's insane, but then they go Dylan Francis is in this and I go He's a DJ so I looked it up, you know, I mean I saw your photo cute or whatever

You're I mean pudgy little little your white cheeks like this classic white cheeks. Yeah, I love it I love I did a good job, but um your parents did whatever but but then when I met you I just instantly know this guy is organically funny. You really were. Thank you and also Um, I think you said he you thought he was in the groundlings. I thought I did I thought cuz cuz somebody said Someone was in the groundlings. It was with H. Michael Kroner Kroner was in the groundlings But I got you too confused. I got maybe he was in the groundling or whatever and But here's the thing though. It's is that I know that you had a good upbringing because you just have a Just an open

Non-aggressive Friendly vibe to you. Thank you. That's like not fake And so in my head, I'm like I can get behind this guy. Yeah, right? I can get right behind that means a lot They're really what I'm saying is is that now that I know that about your dad. Yeah, and how you were raised It's this other bullshit that people are raised under, you know, I mean some here's the religion George's a nice guy Yeah, yeah pieces. There's this weird, you know, this, you know, the born-again and all that stuff They're so judgey and I and I god My my one of my best friends like my dad had to tell him to shut up one time

Born-again Christians. They they are the ones that really push their agenda on you. Yeah, you're like, dude That why can't you just do it for yourself? And that's it? Yeah Yeah, I never I will never understand why someone needs to push their own agenda on somebody like that. Yeah, and like I I need to save you from the rapture. Why why? Yeah, let's space in heaven then Yeah, you know, but then Bowie Okay, we're gonna I don't know what's what evangelicals always say it's like why wouldn't I want to share with you Something that saved me and I'm like, I don't want to fucking hear. Yeah Yeah, yeah, and I want to be safe

I honestly I want if if it's real and there's a rapture and I get my soul gets to be in heaven with Jesus But don't worry, you're fine because every single one of those religions you can just confess your sins and you're good Right, that's where it doesn't really my problem is is this is that with that logic? Okay, with that logic you can be a piece of shit forever. Mm-hmm. So what you're telling me is this Jeffrey Dahmer was murdered in prison, right? But right before he was murdered in prison He could have gone in his hands and knees accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord Savior and then he's up in heaven He's absolved and one of the guys he ate is also up in heaven. Mm-hmm chilling on a cloud Right. Yeah, he's in a party right now George Washington hanging out naked and then all of a sudden he sees Jeffrey Dahmer

Floating across another cloud like this And he's like, that guy fucking ate my dick. That guy ate my dick and he's here. It's still in his mouth. Yeah, he's smoking it. He's just chewing it like it's gum. Yeah. Why did God give him the dick? Yeah, yeah. I wanted that back. What I'm saying is that it doesn't make any sense. Why would, why would, right, Jeffrey Dahmer be up there. Yeah, that's I don't get it. Hitler could have, with that logic, Hitler could have like a week, a day before found Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior and he's up there with six million, you know what I mean? Jews. Well, Jews are going to hell, according to Christians. I can't wait to see people tweet at me right now, like just to be like, hey, but no, it doesn't really work like that because there's like a, there's the fine print where it says just not Hitler and Jeffrey. What? Because there's always the like, the one way, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you just shook your head. So I don't know. So George, I do it. I don't know about Christians, but just as seven day adventures. So like, we believe that like the Jews are the best. That's why we try to copy everything except also believe in Christ. Right. But I don't, I'm not, I want to know this. Now, do fundamentalist Christians, do they believe that Jews are also going to heaven? As long as I accept Christ. But if they don't, if they study Judaism, Messianic Jews, right? And they, and they're, and, and they're, and their religion is Judaism, right? Will they go to heaven?

Not if they don't know the truth of the Jews. All right. So that's what I'm saying. Isn't that they, they don't, then they don't. They don't. Okay. So I'm sorry I shook my head. Cool guy over there. Why did you shake your head? You fuck. Really cool guy. You're a cool guy, dude. Arms length away from someone else I know. Yeah. I mean, I want to, I want, I want, don't you want to go to heaven? Yeah. Don't you want to be a part of a religion? Yeah, I am. What religion? I'm Christian. You just got baptized. You just got it? Yeah. Looks good on you, man. That's great. But it's one of those like progressive love everyone type of. It's LA. LA Christianity. I will say it definitely has changed my outlook on life and much happier. What? Don't shame him. No, no, let's hear. Let's hear. Let's hear. What? Wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't even know this. What? No, I'll be serious. Yeah, I know you're, that's why I laughed like a fucking little schoolgirl. I know. Yeah. It fucking gave me a cachal. All right. It's so funny. So what? Let me ask you something. Yeah. You go to church every Sunday. Yeah. For the past two years. So I wasn't prior to. You weren't prior to that. And you go to Mosaic? Not Mosaic. Is it like Mosaic? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's judgment. Yeah. He's just big. It's bigger than Mosaic?

It's bigger than Mosaic. No, no, no, no. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more than a search. Wow. I'm Beverly Hills.

All the other ones go to Hillsong. Hillsong. There's also the one with the crack. There's one in the back of Earth Cafe that's like super, duper quiet. Yeah. Not a lot of hymns. Yeah. We don't have hymns.

Rock music, tight jeans. So, so, so you, it is a Christian church that you go to. Yeah. Does your church believe that, um, that being a gay is an abomination? Uh, they don't preach about that, but we do have leaders that are gay. Oh, I like that. Okay. I like that.

That's a check. It's like Cindy works with the kids there. And the worst leaders are gay that are working with the kids. Okay, good. And they're not, they're not in some sort of program that Pence believes. It's all inclusive. No, they have to wear a helmet. It has a big G on their helmet.

It lights up. Yeah. Yeah. Right. These are the kids that are actually making Christianity not look so horrible. That's great. I want to have more normal. Cause I might want to go.

All right. So I do have discussions with people in Hollywood, the rapturellings. I've had confronted a lot of them. Yeah. You have. Yeah. Uh, met with a lot of animosity. What?

I mean, yeah, there's no way you can win any fights with anybody. Cause they're just Bible literalists. Yeah. They don't even fight back with fucking, you know, biblical words. They don't even have rationale or reasoning. They're not trying to fight that way. No, it's crazy. I went to church a couple of times.

I had a roommate named Alex. He was a Christian guy and he was, I had orange hair. That's what I remember about him. And I went to this church in Bird Rock in La Jolla. And not red hair though, right? I'm just thinking of like a. Sorry. Orange hair.

Orange. It's not red. It's red. It's just like really. Whatever dude. Is it like your shirt? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm thinking.

Yeah, yeah. That's why I laughed. I really wish I had your nipple size. Fuck you. Very good. Right. I mean, sorry. That's my bad.

I believe you. I believe you. Cause now you're religious. Let me see something. But I, when, when, when the preacher said or the guy said that masturbation is a sin. I just walked out. I just knew I just wouldn't be able to fucking do it. Like how do you not, how do you not, uh, that you just send seven times a week.

And then you, and then you go and absolve it. The best is Catholicism where I grew up. Cause you could be the worst person every Sunday. You just take the kalawa, put it in your mouth and we're all good. Classic kalawa. Wow. Was that bread? Yeah, it's the bread.

You confess and then you get the bread. We can't. Technically you can't get the bread without confessing, but I used to get the bread anyways. The bread is, the bread is the, what is it supposed to be like the something of Christ? Yeah. It's a body of Christ. Catholics believe though. And you say body of Christ.

I went to Catholic school in the valley. So we did that. We drank the blood and ate the, the wafer. Yeah. They believe that actually is the body in that moment. Yeah. Because well it's actually just, um, uh, they have to bless it. Yeah.

Um, and it transforms. Yeah. It's supposed to be a symbol of the body of Christ. And that's why they, when they feed it to you, they say body of Christ. And you say amen. Yeah. And then you just walk away and then all your sins are gone. Everything.

But for me, you know, people go, Bob, do you slept king? Do you believe in God? And I do. You know, I, and when I was, when I first got sober at 17, you know, you go to a tough 12 sex step group. That's one of the steps. Right. And they say, and so, you know, I picked a higher power.

Right. And I believe in a higher power. I really do. But why I think my way is believable to me. And in my reality is because I could see obvious change within people. So when you see somebody that's like a downright homeless, you know, drunk, he goes to a, you know, a 12 step group. He, he starts working the steps and then five years later, he's got a family and a house

and a business and his life is completely changed around. To me, that's a visual, like, you know, a sign that whatever I'm doing is like working. You know, and so, and then I, and then you run into Christians or people, religious people going, well, no, because you have to believe in Jesus. And my thing is, is like, yeah, but, you know, I see it working in my life and in other people's lives. How can you, you know, argue against that, but they do because it's not. And so I just have this little weird thing, you know, I mean, with religion, you know,

I went to Israel with Steve Byrne in George Lopez. Those three names. You know what I mean? I did. I, we went to the, the 12th, whether that, whether they had the dinner. That's the last summer. Last summer. Yeah.

I lit a cigarette in that room. Yeah. Cause I didn't know, I didn't know we were going into that room. So I lit a cigarette and the, cause we had that special like celebrity tour. Yeah. So we get to cut in line. We had the fast pass to the biblical structure. Yeah.

Yeah. One fast pass to the last supper please. Yeah. You got to come back at two 30. Wait for the time. Yeah. And I felt, I felt bad because I'm like, Oh, this is where it is. They were probably smoking too.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And also how the fuck do you know that happened there? Yeah. Right? I don't know. How do you know?

But they had the slab where I guess Jesus died. I don't know how they know the slab. And I was like going, I was with Steve Byrne. He's a comic. And I go, where the fuck is Steve? And I looked down and Steve is on his hands and knees. His hands are on the slab and he's crying. And I've never cackled louder.

It made me laugh so fucking loud. He didn't talk to me for three days. You should have just said the Holy Spirit. No. It was in you. No, no, no. This is exactly how it went down. I go, where's Steve?

I think it was like, it was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. I go, that's not where he died. You think that's how they don't know that? You know. What did Steve say after? Oh, he didn't talk to me for like three or four days. Yeah, yeah. Did you think he was doing a bit?

No, because I thought at first, but I know that he's religious. Yeah. Right. So I looked at his face and it just tears like as if, as if he was there in front of him, Jesus. Wow. Right. It just made me laugh so fucking loud.

I almost, I almost got thrown out of the fucking tour. I mean, sometimes you just have to participate though and be respectful. Like when my sister and I first came from the, when we first came from the, when we first came from the Philippines, a Christian church assisted in our whole immigration process. Right. And, but when we came over here, my sister and I just didn't subscribe. They were super, they were basically like a born again, super like hardcore Christian church.

Right. And because they helped us, we went to church every Sunday and, you know, to kind of give them thanks, my sister and I participated. So, you know, they would have this thing where you would have to give a testimony about your life and why the Lord Jesus has helped you in your life. And so I told my sister, my dad basically gave us like, Hey, you guys got to go up there and speak. And I told my sister, I'm not sure.

I'm going to take one for the team. And so she did, got up there, did her testimony, fucking flung her body into like a Ric Flair dead man's drop. No way. I started like convulsing because she had to, she took one for the fucking team. Cause she's a fucking champion like that. She's a champion. I was like, these people brought us to America fucking convulse bitch.

My sister. My sister. And she, yeah, she convulsed, she didn't break character and she was like crying and stuff. No, I was laughing hysterically. Yeah, me too. I would laugh. Oh, good job. Oh yeah.

You were found. Yeah, yeah. I would have got her a little Oscar. Convulsed. That little Oscar trophy. Good job. Pound it. Yeah.

When I also, when I was in Israel, we did a tour of this archeological site and the guy said, yeah, we just discovered this archeological site and in fact, a couple of months ago, you know, we have students, you know, help, you know, dig from the college and a young lady opened up like he, she like was the pile of dirt and there was like a little hole and there was like a little cat, like a little, like a little, not a door, but like a little hatch. She opened it and there was a fucking bag of old coin, gold coins that were like thousands of years old, right?

And she screamed and then they all came and then the, you know, the professors, you don't scream. No, you take the bag, you take the bag and then you put it back. You bury it and then three days later, then you, then you do the screaming thing. Yeah. Then you're like, oh, yay, this thing, but you already stashed away. It's just a bag though. Exactly.

Exactly. Bummer. Bummer. Just a bag, guys. Just a bag. That's very good. Sorry, I screamed. Right.

Right. But how would you do that? Because it's like locked off, right? So you would have to almost dig, see the bag and then do the look. Mm-hmm. And then start slowly. No, no, no, no, no. You bury it back.

You go home and then you have to plan. You can't, you can't be. Oh, you don't do it. Oh, you don't do it immediately. No, you don't understand. You don't seem to understand. Okay. You mark it.

Let's see. Let's see. This is the archeological site. Yeah. Okay. There is these fences, right? And security, right? Because no, you can't just, a pedestrian can't just walk in there, right?

So there's guards and shit. So they're watching people, you know, I mean, there's a bunch of hundreds of people digging in and whatnot, but to come back at night is almost an impossible feat, unless you were like, Ethan Hunt. Oh, so it's like 24 hours surveillance. I think that there's fancy. I mean, I just think that you're not Ethan Hunt. If you're not Ethan Hunt, you can't do it.

I think you stash the coins in your underwear. There we go. Hopefully you're not wearing boxers. Yes. And you make it look like you shit your pants and then you go to the garden, you go, dude, I just shit my pants. I also found an empty bag down there. I have to go and clean myself up, but you should probably tell somebody.

Yeah. Over there. Yeah. And then you walk out. Wow. Yeah, that's the way to do it. That's it. Yeah, that's it.

Maybe leave a couple coins in there. So it's not too weird. Right. Maybe one coin. Yeah. And then you have to dig a hole deep enough so your body is underground when you stash it in your panties. Yes.

You can't be above ground when you stash it. Oh, yeah, I'd be digging. You only, your head's got to be up and you know, you've got to. Yeah. Because then if anyone's like, what'd you do? You're like, I shit my pants. I thought I would dig it into a hole and try to clean my, I should get out, right? No, they'd be like, why is Bobby, I'm building a well.

I'm like nine feet under, right? Just, you know what I mean? He's a great digger. Yeah. You keep the bag. You keep the bag. You keep the bag. You don't leave the bag.

Uh-uh. You need the bag, I think. Have it all there. Wrap it. Oh, okay. Right. Do, put it in your pants. You did big shit.

Big shit. Yeah, yeah. Is there an incentive? Maybe even shit your pants just to actually make the smell be there. I would swallow it and just shit it out later. That's another good thing. I was thinking about that too. Yeah.

Yeah. Just poop out some coins. Yeah. You get sick though. You might. Yeah, you would. And also you might corrode it to where it comes out like not a different metal now. You actually have to put in like one of those, you know, gold rush pans, you know, like shaking

it. It's like the things that you do at Disneyland. Oh man. All the gold is turned into dust. Yeah, yeah. What if you eat an ancient coin and comes out in just a regular quarter, like your body did something. You know what I mean?

This is a regular quarter now, you know, but here's what I thought though is if you sneak the coins out, these are ancient Jew coins. Yes. Right. That's the technical. No, it's technical term. Jew coins. Right.

I've heard that before. Thank you. Where do you, where do you sell it? Black market all day. Black market for sure. Yeah. But what do you, you call? You go to the dark net.

Yeah. Hey, I got four Jew coins. Do you not watch scandal? What? Do you not watch scandals? Jew coins are good, but you need, you need, you also need like historians of people that know about it. Like antique roadshow.

You can't, you can't go to the pawn shop in fucking Vegas. Sweetie. The government and all of the, you know, the government is very well versed with the dark net. Everyone, everybody, every person is, is in there. Hmm. There are a lot of corrupt people. You would say anonymously.

Hi. I was a student. Hold on to it even longer. Right. For 10 years. For 10 years. Right. I was a student at this archaeological site.

No. No. No, no, no. Antique roadshow. You say, I found this in my backyard. I live in Columbus, Ohio, in Columbus, Ohio, where a lot of Jewish people used to live there. Or just say your grandma, you inherited it from your grandmother.

Exactly. Wow. Yeah. That's the better one. Antique roadshow. That's it. Yeah. I found it in my grandma's.

Oh, each one of these are a billion dollars. Game over. Crazy. I found it in my grandma's. My Jewish grandma. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mexican. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Crazy. Crazy. Yeah. Hey, that's actually a thing. A lot of Jewish Mexicans. We know one, actually. Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, like, she's half and half, but she did a lot of Jewish Mexicans.

There's a reason for that. Roger explained it to me one day. I don't remember. Roger. Yeah. I love antique roadshow, by the way. By the way, when you said that it would be funny if you ate the coin and it comes out a quarter.

Yeah. I don't know if you ever need to clean a coin, which you never do, but if you put Taco Bell Hot Sauce on any coin, it cleans it. I heard about this. I heard about this. That's horrible. Wait, wait, wait. I don't know why it made me think that, because I eat a lot of Taco Bell.

Your stomach is bleeding. You're absolutely shining. I think if I actually would have eaten that coin, I would have eroded it so hard that it actually would have come out wrong. A quarter. What you're saying to me is this, is that Taco Bell Hot Sauce is like... Battery has this. Battery.

That's what it's like. So it's not good to eat. I mean, the fact that it can clean the dirtiest penny you've ever found and make it look like it just came out of a roll is very scary. Science alert. Science alert. Yeah. If we could get someone that knows science to say why that happens and we're okay to

eat Taco Bell, that would actually be helpful for you. Have you tried it with Tabasco sauce? Maybe we should try other hot sauces to see if it's just all hot sauces. You know what? Yeah. You should... Can you come back in three months? Come back in three months.

Yeah. I kind of think that you just... I don't buy it. You got it. I don't buy it. What you're saying. Sounds crazy. I just know that I've tried it with Taco Bell.

Right. And it worked. And I got scared. In what? In your... I'm saying I've had Taco Bell a thousand times. Yeah. And I've had their hot sauces a thousand times.

And I've opened up that fucking hot sauce. I don't know where in my mind do I think... I think it's a cleaner quarter. Um, actually... I don't... I mean, it wasn't that. Well, I mean... Like why would you do that?

Now you're just bringing up other ideas that I have like who... What person found an artichoke and was like, let me figure out how to fucking eat this. All right. I guess a dip. Dip form? Dude, if you put butter on this, it's delicious. You're going to eat the front tip too. It's great.

Wow. We should serve this in Silver Lake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're right. That's a good point. That's my bad, dude. No, no, no, no.

Some people like activity foods. I appreciate them for doing that because, you know... Yeah. Artichokes. Mm-hmm. Do you see artichoke? Artichoke, yeah. Putting ranch on it is fantastic.

But also, is that the one that I get where the... The leaf... You can only eat the meat on the one side of the fucking thing. And you have to kind of scrape it with your teeth. That's bullshit. It's an activity food. They need to figure out a better way to... Just scrape it and give me the heart.

Oh, my God. And that's it. The heart is so good. The best is Trader Joe's grilled artichoke in the bottle. It's the best thing ever. Is it just the heart? Because it's all just the tender bits, but grilled. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I always throw it into any pasta that I make. Do you watch antique roadshow? No. I'm going to tell you about it. Okay. You know how obsessed I am about it. Yeah.

You are. How often do you watch this? I watch the same videos. When we need a good cry. I get a good cry. I watch it. Okay. And I don't like...

I think it's... It's fearful when somebody realizes that they have something that's very light, but what's better is when the... What's the... Upraise. The guy person upraises it. Yeah. The appraiser sees something and he knows what he's seeing.

And it's so emotional that he starts crying. So they go, what you have here? What you have here is a Ming dynasty face that no one ever thought ever existed. I can't breathe because I never thought I would ever see one. You know what I mean? The appraiser cries? Yeah. Because somebody brings in something and it makes their heart stop.

There's one video that's like millions of views and it's this man who brings in an Indian wife's blanket. It's a very plain looking blanket and this old man with asthma. Yeah. This old man. He's just like, yeah. I just grew up in a farm and you know... His parents were very poor.

My family is always poor and we just had this blanket just sitting there on the couch. And the appraiser's like, oh my God, there's only three of these in existence. It's one of the original chief blankets, right? And look at the threading and he's like going into it and the man's like, wow, it's just sitting on the back of the couch. How much did he get? It was more than half a million. But when he says it, you should see it on YouTube.

The man can't... You okay, Jason? What's wrong, Jason? He tried to touch you. It was weird. Jason, don't touch Bob. Don't touch me, Jason. He's still just calling him out.

Don't touch me, Jason. Don't touch my friend. He goes into his history like, my family has always been poor. And he's emotional because he wishes his parents could have benefited from that. Because they had a very hard life, he said. He's like, I wish that they would have known that they were sitting on this because it would have helped them tremendously. When there's like a connection like there was another girl...

Now I want to watch this. You should watch it. We'll watch it after we're done here. And also, I want to write a script about an antique road show where you come in and you want to get something appraised, your shiny Tabasco coin. He's an appraiser. He lies to you about it not being valuable, so you just leave it there. Fuck me.

You're a fuck... You're an asshole appraiser. Fuck me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck you. I said, this is worth nothing. You should just leave it here. You don't even know what to do.

I shit these coins out. I took this from a... I was a student. And I ate these coins. I thought they'd be worth something. Yeah. You know how hard it was to shit these... Shoot them up.

Shoot them up. Yeah. Yeah, shoot these at the move. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, I will. Okay, cool. Yeah, we should see that. And I want to tell you something else, though.

Dylan. Yes. Is... And I want everyone to listen to me now is if you're just... If you're... If you have YouTube, just look up Tiptoes. Yeah, I was going to remind you that I haven't pulled yet. There's a movie that was made in 2003 with an all-star cast.

It doesn't look like a movie that... It looks like a spoof. But I'm going to show you that after the... No, show it to him now. Show him now. Yeah. And how about we list off some of the actors? No, no, no, no, no.

Don't give it away yet. Oh, just watch it. Okay, let's just... Since we're here, let's just show him the... Let's have Dylan watch the trailer. No, let's first watch the Antique Roadshow. Okay. You want to do that?

I feel like we already, like, did it justice. You think so? Yeah. All right, well, let's just do the... Tiptoes for sure, because that shocked me when you showed me. So I want you to guess... Are you into bad movies? Yeah, absolutely.

Okay. I feel like this is a gem, and everyone should watch this. I downloaded it. But the reviews were, okay, 35%. But the trailer is insane. The trailer is insane. But also when they... Okay, go ahead.

It's just... It's called Tiptoes. Yeah. Tiptoes? Yeah. Do we have a camera on it, George? Put the volume. Put it next to the mic.

Oh, shit. Oh, she was about to... It's cool already. Mic, mic, yeah. Is that Matthew McConaughey? Yeah. I'm wrong. I'm his brother.

We're twins. Are your parents what? I think you're going to let me know that everyone in your family is a midget. Whatever. We're bringing them together. Hey, welcome. I'm Stephen. Aw, there you are.

This is Stephen's father, Bruno, and his mom, Kathleen. It's over by the first. It's over by the first. It's over by the first. It's over by the first. It's over by the first. It's over by the first. It's over by the first.

It's over by the first. You don't tap this great girl and you didn't tell her that her baby's probably gonna be lit I'm not like you We are so cute and cuddly Don't discriminate against us He's done these parties for a little while and never said to him That's sure not a midget's around here He's got a back-off, golden horn

Patricia? Patricia, our cat What the fuck is happening? Wait for this You know who that is? Wait for this You know who that is? That midget is

Who is that? Wait for it Wait for it Wait for it I'll walk down the aisle This is way too much Oh, okay, I know who that is Who is it?

He's not a midget I know Okay Yep Yep Patricia Arquette and in the role of a lifetime, Gary Oldman Oscar nominated and winning What?

What? And in a role of a lifetime, Gary Oldman Tiptoes, everybody So can we watch that? I bought it on iTunes So I downloaded it I'm not gonna watch it now But no, no, no, but it's for later

This is it's a real movie This looks like this actually looks like work from from Brandon Durmer Because he makes fake trailers That's how he got like big Yeah, yeah, yeah This looks like a Brandon Durmer Right That's what it looks like

Fake trailer That somehow he convinced Matthew McConaughey to choke around Gary Oldman What the fuck? Gary Oldman What just happened? I know I also love the drama part of will their child be a midget

Yeah Yeah This is the problem And it's something you can't say anymore No Yeah It's like saying will their child be a retard Peter Dinklage

That's his name, right? Yeah, Peter Dinklage Being a French guy French midget at a French At a fucking insane That was the coolest midget party I've ever seen But you know that you Peter Dinklage When he was doing that movie

He was like He's probably going He didn't know, man Right Imagine the trajectory of his life He does that You know, then I think he gets elf Right, he was an elf

He was an elf But then he's been nominated a couple of times for like For the Academy Supporting That train movie Station agent Amazing That was his turning point

Station agent But I mean I do you really think Peter was like This is the end? I think that the guy was just like I'm just doing my thing Because there is like There's a ton of actors that have been in

Horrible things that you never even remember You're right And there's a safety in like having Being in a shitty movie But with an ensemble cast Yeah So you're like If they're going down

I'm okay going down We're all going down We're all going down That's right Yeah That's true Yeah And also 10 years from now

People go Do you believe Bobby Lee did a podcast Called Tiger Ball? He even Oscar now Yeah, this guy's won nine Oscars I won nine Nine Oscars Now we have to just meet Peter

So we can talk to him about tiptoes I bet no one's brought up tiptoes to him In a long time I know How do we get to him? I wonder if his like Is his reps Like is there anything you know

We're not allowed to talk about tiptoes It's just an answer across the board Every time Yeah, yeah Tiptoes Yeah Right Anyone?

Anything else? Fine Tiptoes is off But when I met Peter Diggs We would do tiptoe We would tiptoe to a tortoise We wouldn't say it We would just tiptoe

You know what I just realized now The blow job thing was showing What the That it was going to be midget Rawr It's clever It's clever Really clever

It's clever Oh, shit This is Matthew McConaughey What's her name? She's Kate Beckinsale Kate Beckinsale I was in Clique Yeah

Underworld Underworld Underworld Serendipity Serendipity That was... It's an amazing thing I was incredible

So what do you... So the show that you did with Dermot What happened with that? Is that... Oh, is it a movie? What is it? No, no, no It came out on Funny or Die

Like and subscribe Anybody can go watch it It's easy And what is it called? Like and subscribe It's called like and subscribe It's us making fun of YouTube stars It's really bizarre

Because all the stuff that we wrote into it It all kind of came true Like we were joking We did... There was one joke that Brandon Wardell did actually That was like, oh, I have a brand deal with Trojan Jr Yeah There's like...

There's tons of influencers now that have like brand deals With like really weird like goat condoms or something Like we're starting... Like I could bring up the Instagram that we have That's just like... It's the weirdest... The weirdest stuff we've ever found on social media That's like...

Wow Let me actually... There's stuff where you're gonna be mind blown Just show me Okay, hold on Let's see Let's see So...

Let's see Well, this one was a horrible one That just shows you the disgusting side of the internet These were kids that were posting Pray for California during the fires And they were just pictures of them modeling Of course Of course

I saw so many of those There's just them standing... Like these people Oh god These people should be fucking burned Like the model Yeah These pieces of shit

Fuck you lady It's so... Dude, this guy Look at this So fucking gross So that was just... It's just the weird dark side of the internet Yeah

Like there's just kids that... It's fucking influencers using maps There's Google... Google Maps exists Okay Yeah Map... These fucking kids don't even know how...

What we used to use MapQuest Yeah You would break that shit out Yeah And you'd have to remember where to go There was no automated Siri We had to use that Waiting by a train looking at a map

Fuck you Fuck you There was also a directory What was that thing? Hold on, what page? Hold on, what's the... What was that book that we would get as Atlas? Not Atlas

It was a book that you would get when you were driving And it was like a... They called it something It was called something guide Oh yeah, the one in LA Anyway You'd have to get this Ass jeeps

Wait, what? Ass jeeps Remember that? Classic search engine This classic search engine I don't think it does Wait, look at this one Alexa is a 24 year old influencer and ambassador for a vegan condom brand

She's obsessed with Instagram But often feels nervous about what her follower was We'll think of her Let me see Let me see, I gotta see this I see a picture She's taking a selfie with this selfie stick Taking a selfie, Jesus Christ

Let's see what this one is This is a real caption Thinking about how different my life is from the man picking the rice field every morning Jesus Oh my god, stop it To stop that It's a girl in a bikini with her butt out Overlooking a rice paddy

What a fucking cunt I need to take her down I need to find her and take her down It's a... The rice paddies hits home You know, we have a lot of rice paddies in the world And you know what? I have cousins that fucking pick those rice paddies And listen to her deep thoughts

With a caribou I need to find her Dylan I'm sorry Her butt I mean, that's why we made the show We made the show to make fun of all those things of just like this How could we even ask me to do it? I think we didn't think you would

I did ask If we get a second I was asked By Dermot I couldn't do it You couldn't see Yeah, yeah Why'd you say that, Bobby?

I just wanted to spit it right back I felt really cool I know, I just wanted to spit right back in your face A little spit spit Well, this is my water now Fucking drink What's it called? So it's uh...

Like and subscribe Like and subscribe Okay Watch it for free Unhelpful advice Unhelpful advice You know how we do it then Bobby at Calyla at Dylan Francis

Hello Tiger Belly I moved back in with my parents In a small town for a few months ago And I am so lonely I have no friends here And I spend my time working or alone My friends in LA where I moved from Have since forgotten about me

And I'm sure what to do with uh What to do or try to ignore my loneliness I've tried to make friends And I had a guy I was dating But he got back with his ex And lied to me about it To try to keep me on the side This has made me feel worse

And I need advice How to get through this miserable period in my life And focus on other things What should I do? It's the same It's, you know, I'll be honest with you Amy, it's the same kind of emails we constantly get And these times of being alone

And a little depressed is when You'll, you'll, you'll motivate You'll spark something imaginative Right? And you'll motivate yourself to come up with something big You know? It's those times I miss those times of being alone

No girlfriend No friends No money No, I mean, no, I mean, no, no, no Baby, no no You know what I'm saying though? But like in my early 20s Of like being, you know

Just being, what the fuck am I gonna do with my life? And then one day, years of it Years of it And then one day going, you know what? I'm gonna sign up to that open mic and do stand-up It's just clicked It's not that it's just I was so desperate to go

I gotta figure it out Because I can't live like this Or my circumstances You know, I would see guys like, you know When in San Diego, I knew a lot of pro skaters And surfers that would get, you know, sponsor You know what I mean? And they would travel

And I didn't have that kind of talent And so I was just always working at coffee shops or restaurants And just alone And, you know, thank God for those times You know? I had those I used to stay in my parents' back house for a year Just working on music

Yeah I didn't go out and hang out with anybody Like you have to do that if you're trying to hone in on a craft or something like that Yeah And I hit rock bottom I got a DUI I've got my car taken away from me It was, you know

But that's like the best That's, I mean, that's the whole thing with like Alcoholics Anonymous Anyways, it's like you have to hit the bottom to go back up Yeah And I think at a certain age At a certain age, it's just everyone goes through it, right? Yeah But I think it's polarized now

We talked about this last time with social media I think it's polarized because you just It's just the access that you have to seeing everybody doing different things That's interesting that you say Look at your fucking little DJ fingers They're skinny and nice They're soft and nice Yeah

That's the thing, it's, we don't know Here's what it is Is that I grew up in a time we didn't have that Now, if I didn't have that either And it was, it's definitely so much better Because I think that the difference now is that you would see your friends doing that Would it try to make you be like

Alright, I gotta go do something Or no Yeah I mean, I do things while posting so that my high school friends Wait, not even about the social media stuff Like even, like back to where we didn't have so when Cause I grew up with no social media as well Yeah, yeah

I'm like the beginning of millennial Right Were you like Friendster? Yeah, Friendster and Facebook, but it was towards the end of like, I think I was 17 when I got a Friendster or something like that Wow So I got the, I got to not have to grow up with it when I was, I don't know how old this person is But

Yeah, yeah Yeah But when I would see my friends doing really well It would, it would make me a, what's the word? It would inspire me to go and try to do different things as well And I feel like with social media, you see it and it gives you the opposite You're like, I'm never gonna, I don't know I don't know

Yeah Cause I've noticed myself when I look on social media and I see stuff and I'm like I don't want to do this, I don't want to fuck this You start getting in like a weird I have a perfect example of that I'm not gonna name her name, but I know this girl who recently got a restraining order on her boyfriend who's a cop And they have the most tumultuous relationship

They like beat each other up They're really toxic and shitty But on their Instagram, if you look at it, it's nauseating It's the love of my life It's this and that's a looking at that If I didn't know that story, I'd be like, wow, she's really happy and what a love to have But, but Fuck

You know, like she has a fucking, she pulled a restraining order on this guy recently Because they got into some fucking public altercation Public That is It's insane That's fucking insane Right Isn't that crazy?

Well that reminds, so, I mean, this is in the Firefest doc I'm not, I don't think it gives away anything But a guy talks about how he put a picture up This is like the worst time in his life working on this fucking festival That never happened And he posted a picture of this beach And it's the most serene, like he said it's incredible He's like, but during that time, it fucking sucked

Why did I do, why did I put Fucking Bahamas, man Gross Gross Yeah, and he, it's just so weird Yeah, oh man My favorite video, there's a video of, I think it's his name's Busy P And he posted this a long time ago

But it's a video of no one showing up to his DJ gig And it was the most incredible video ever Because it's like, every single person always expects you to post like this incredible thing But here's what I had to play to last night Yeah And it was just like, it was so awesome to still see, like because that's everywhere You could be at the top of your game, there's still some place that nobody knows you That happens to you

Yeah You've done gigs I've done gigs where there's just been like nobody A disaster Yeah Wow That happens all the time It does

Yeah, because you're And then what do you do? Fucking You just do the job Just do it You do it Yeah Like I've done shows

You just try to have fun to those people I remember, there was a show I had, I always remember the show so specifically Because it was in, it was in Dallas, Texas And three people showed up to a 500 cap venue And they, they, the promoter's like, you can play for them? And I was like, yeah, sure And they did the Bernie dance in front of me for 15 minutes And then the promoter said, hey, nobody else is coming, I think we should end it

And I was like, okay, cool And they still pay you? And they paid, yeah, they paid me and I went to Hooters and ate fried pickles by myself No, but it wasn't sad, it wasn't sad I was like, whatever No, I just feel sad though I'm happy to go to I want to be there with you

Yeah But I was just so happy to go to Dallas, Texas and play for three people Yeah At that time I did Philadelphia, first show, first time ever, ever Six people, you know, 300 seat venue First time ever, I'd never happened And I go, did you still start at eight?

And yeah, it starts at eight I go, well, why is there only six people? This never happened He goes, Chappelle's across the street Damn I go, my agent booked me the same night When, no, it wasn't just Chappelle It was Oddball Comedy Festival

Okay, the largest comedy You know, I did it years later But that night, I just went, you know what? I have to do it So I did it in front of these six people But what happened, the second show was a lot of people from the festival came to my show, you know what I mean? To do a double comedy thing, you know what I mean?

How pissed did you get at your agent for doing that? I was livid at first, but then, you know, as time You give me an hour, I calm down And I didn't call him right away, you know what I mean? I just said, next time, just let me know So I don't walk into it But you know what? It happens all the time

And it's, you know, it's cool to think that Because I always think that you're doing it In front of 10,000 people in Vegas all the time No, no, no, no, no I can legitimately tell you that they're Because there's off seasons Because it's not, Vegas locals aren't coming to every single one of my shows Right

There's definitely been times where I've played to like, you know Let's see Probably like Okay, let's see Maybe like 200 people or something like that And that usually, like, it's really weird Because it'll be heavy at the beginning But then it can taper off

Because you play for two hours There's one time at the, at Encore Beach Club Where it tapered off And I think there was at least 10 people on the dance floor still And then everyone kind of scattered around the pool Oh, wow But you know Let me ask you, do you get jealous of other DJs

Like Aoki or any of those kind of guys? No, because it's not like it Vegas is so different where It's either that fans are coming in to see you And take a trip or they're not So it's like Every single person is going to have one of those nights I've seen DJ Snake have one of those nights

I've seen Diplo have one of those nights It's just, it just Vegas is either slow or it's super busy and then you get people Wow So it's not, it's never guaranteed And also when you go out of town to like other places You know Like, let's see

I'm trying to think of someplace that I've played recently That was like the first time I think in like I think of someplace in Europe that I played recently That was like I would have to look back at the dates There was definitely one of them You could have fucking also made up a fucking place

We're not fact checking here I'm sorry, I want it Yeah, Stockholm You were in Prague Stockholm, we're in Prague No, no, because I Prague, Prague No, that would have been a long time ago though

But because it takes like Every time you go to a new place You're a new name to those people Right Yeah At least for me Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah So you're always

Like when I went to Norway the first time I played to Let's say 100 people Then the second time I went You like Then You build a audience Like everything else Yeah

I want honestly, Klyla I want to go to Vegas while he's playing You guys can come anytime you want I, how do we do that? You drive there No, because he really hates the Vegas scene But you can You can be back to me the whole time

No, I would go and dance to his tunes At Encore Beach Club You promise, you promise Yes We're going to be just regular people Don't give a special treat Don't give a treat Don't say anything

I'll wait in line I don't want to be on a list or anything No, let's get on a list I don't want to get up on the low or anything like that I'm not going to fucking look cute And like stand in line No, I want to be around with all those College meet heads

And I'm going to have like a tan And I'm going to be like And I'm going to bob my head like this A spray tan I'm going to go There's a little dance area In the middle of the pool That has a pole

Yeah Bobby Lee At Encore Beach Club I'm going to dance for you 100% for you Fun fast Really quick Water sprays down from it

I want you to try to look me in the eyes ThinLips' first concert ever Was a Dylan Francis concert How old were you? Where was it? It was at the music box Music box I forget who you opened for

But I remember you Wait, where's the music box? It's no longer open Where was that? Jason's your chance to shine I was in Hollywood? How many people were there? But I wish it was like one of the shitty ones Just Jason by himself

You were one of the three Jason and two friends Was he good? I wish he said no, dude This is the fucking gas port tonight I wanted to take that high I could smash it on the ground if you had it Snatter through

Dude, no, let me ask you something Yes It's on Halloween It's on Halloween It's on Halloween Do you get a lot of girls doing that? I don't know much about that Do I get a lot of girls?

Yeah, like when you're at Like if it's a hot night You're in people out there And it's hopping Does the novelty wear after a while? I think when I was younger That's definitely where my head Like when I was 23

Your head is in the art Yeah That's right No, my head is just in You know, you were talking about You were talking about So back to like the religion thing This doesn't have to do the religion thing

But it has to do with you Going to Alcoholics Anonymous And becoming sober I think there's also a thing to say Of just becoming sober I drink way less than what I used to And I don't like to go out As much as I used to

So I think that helps productivity In a person so much Because drinking It's so debilitating the next day And it causes you to be either depressed And just work less I think when I was younger I could have a hangover

And work on music somehow But nowadays I can't do it If I drink I am just completely ruining Any days of me working on anything Because I don't want to So I feel the same way of like So I just like

I love working right now So And I have for the past couple of years You have a good work ethic Yeah My dad helped me with that Yeah Yeah

Hustle I want to do something with you I don't know what it is But I want to do something Maybe you can be in the Michael Bisping Odd couple show Call Brandon Let me know

Brandon Dermot I'm always down Also it's not Brandon I love hanging out with you For one time to say it correctly And make the man have What is his name? Brandon

I said Brandon Dermot Oh did he say Brandon? He's been saying Brandon I haven't Brandon I call Brandon all day I go Brandon what's up I'm beyond I'm saying what's up

Brandon should have a parenthesis In where it's an A and an E And you can just say both He should change his name to that Because he's like you know it's both Would you want to plug anything? You have a show to plug? I don't have a show to plug

He's got a new album No no no I already put out my album a while ago No I'm just working on music It was that yeah back in September I just want to share one of the tracks though It's called We the Funk No is that what you said? No I swear to God I know I was making it up

I was like I didn't even think I didn't even put that together I was like track six is We the Funk He did a whole funk thing at the top of this Yeah I was just saying I don't know I'd say funk all the time You felt it though

That's amazing I felt your vibe You know what I mean Thank you But no I'm just working on music And I'm going on tour in February So if anyone wants to see me on tour Just go and see me on tour

That's all I ask I mean here's the thing A lot of actors are doing podcasts You know Anna Farah is great She's great Dax Shepard That's great You know

Rosenbaum Yeah Rosenbaum's doing one now You know soon you're going to see shows like Santino Gang to Da Nero or Da Nero's going to start doing Yeah we're like That would be epic

Well this is I'll talk with Anna Anna Yeah It's the DJ thing Yeah You know what I mean It's the DJ thing

That happened to everybody Like Portlandia did a whole thing on it Where it was like you know It had every person being like I'm a DJ Well I'm a DJ I'm a DJ too I used to know music

But you could do a podcast So basically I want to say I could do one I think you could do one Thanks man I'll just I don't want you to do one I'd rather come on your

Come on mine I'm just saying That later in life You could be able to do one My manager was Because they Because I've been working in the studio for the For the past

I was telling I was telling Good White over here At George Yeah I've been working in the studio the past month And they were about to cancel Just because I was working in the studio

I was like no No do not ever cancel Bobby's podcast Yeah because you have to come back Because you're so good I just I love hanging out I love hanging out with you

It's not just that though It's so much fun There's something that happens There's bits in this podcast That are so good Right Like I can think of moments Right

Ju-Coins all the time Yeah that's so good Ju-Coins shoot it to the moon That's your podcast Yeah Ju-Coins But you honestly dude It's I really

I really like you a lot Thank you And I would never suck your dick And you know But I want to see you perform You're invited I honestly I do I'm not fucking around

Okay fine We'll take a field trip Do not give a special treatment We're just going to show up It's a great airline that I always take Yeah 30 minute flight to Vegas Yeah

But are you going to be Are you going to just like completely dismiss us Or are you going to lock eyes with Bobby and say hey Well look it depends on what you guys want I was going to say just come back stage with it I'm not going back stage with you fucking He wants to feel what it's like to be like a college meathead I do

Do it Is there any way we could have a meal afterwards Yeah let's have it before or after But it's I end at 3 a.m. Oh Before Yes Way before

I mean we can have one Yeah We'll do like a pool one a day one You do those right Wait this is a pretty good story to end on If my friend Go ahead yeah please Uh so I was in Vegas this past weekend

And it was my first time drinking in a while Just because I felt like drinking a little bit with my friend And I ended my night by going to my room at 4 a.m. Turning on black Klansman And ordering a brownie with ice cream And a buffalo chicken wrap I fell asleep Woke up in crisis mode because the guy was like ringing my doorbell

And they were calling my room to try to get me my food So I answered the door I get my food from him I'm so out of it and I'm like fucking I'm just still a little drunk and I'm hungry Yeah And I had to take a shit So I was like you know what let's kill two birds with one stone I'm going to go and uh Eat a brownie

I'm going to go no I'm going to go eat this buffalo chicken wrap while I take a shit I was eating the buffalo chicken wrap I had dropped so much fried chicken in my pants Still so drunk I was like you know what I probably fell through already Pull on my pants it is stuck to my leg So I'm sitting in the bathroom pretty wasted With buffalo chicken in my pants shaking my legs out It came out of my pants and then I went to I ate the brownie went to my bed And fell asleep with my pants sweater on

I didn't take my buffalo chicken pants off Oh my god so was it just messy down there? Yeah it was just but you know great time I can't recall a time where I've been drunk and needed to take a shit that's a really weird combo Look I'm going to be honest I had eaten something I had eaten something a little weird a couple days ago and my stomach was like you know I was like one of those broken uh ice cream machines Like it's not like it was like crazy

You know like diarrhea or anything but it was like a hard push It was just like yeah you're like and it's not super soft serve Yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah yeah so that's what that's where I was And I was like oh this might be the one where at all I'll actually feel good after it And it wasn't Because you kind of forget that you have to take a shit I feel No no I remembered Well guys I had to get up at six in the morning because that's when my call time is

And um I would love to chat forever You know I mean I love your Vegas stories about chicken buffalo wings and you shittings off serve But um I really have to get I gotta go to sleep so um Um you know you're invited every time to my podcast Thank you I love you so fucking much I love you I found out things about you you're religious I did not know that

God bless you and take care I'm glad that your life is is better That's the only thing I ever asked for Stop talking Dylan because you're gonna go into another fucking story about your dad Yes to sleep Or some shit right And then you You said you wanted to watch antique roadshow with me

Oh yeah we're gonna do that we're gonna do that one Fuck you then All right give Dylan a round of applause everybody Dylan guys if you want to send any packages or gifts to Kalyla Bobby or if you want to send Dylan Something we'll give it to him Go to send the package to Tiger Belly 1626 North Wilcox Avenue Number 161 Hollywood, California 90028 And thank you to all the real papaya sleepers and the premium episode subscribers on patreon

To be part of the patreon family go to patreon.com slash tigerbelly You Hey prime members you can listen to Tiger Belly ad-free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad-free with Wondry plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com slash survey