TigerBelly - Episode 187: The Great Juice Battle

Episode Date: March 27, 2019

Bobby gets pomegranate rage. Khalyla sleeps in towels. We talk house love letters, Kate Hudson’s gardeners, Apocalypto breakfasts, and American Idol.Check out the Philippines recap here:https://www.patreon.com/TigerBellySupport us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today And then I say out loud I go wow there's just new people at the store it might drive me out like I say that out loud yeah to like all the new people whatever you know it's just a different vibe it's like no longer family oh yeah it's like a really weird energy it might drive me out permanently I let Adam E get to hear me say that I'll be in the OR it might just drive me out all these new people because let me say something okay the comedy store is it's all it all are welcome that's that should be our slogan slogan right above all are welcome but watch your mouth that should be the second thing it'll drive me out or it'll drive

me out watch your mouth or it'll drive me out because you know at the end of the day you know it has nothing to do with minorities or men or women or this and that it has to do with the right type of performer and person and you have to be pure-hearted you have to sort like an eagle you have to immerse yourself in wind love light the tactics of discipline right inside outside extrovert extrovert you know being able to yeah being able to extrovert being able to be grounded and yet loose be free yeah well excuse me to you cuz I'm sick right now and when you said interesting just now I didn't feel like you meant it no it was interesting to be grounded but also to be loose thank you Bobby that is interesting that is interesting well can we start with the can we start are you

recording keep all that we will catch because I don't what so everyone everyone everyone knows I'm sick I have a head thing my body aches I have no energy I'm angry I'm also like a kid I'm very sensitive like a kid I'm a little like a little boy cuz I'm vulnerable and when I get vulnerable anything people to do stuff for me like cook me meals you know to get me what you did it was delicious I just say this to whatever you made me earlier the rice egg and mushroom thing was probably the best thing you've ever made me it was made with love but I can I say this not always like that with you sometimes you choose sometimes yeah but that was love I always want to make him breakfast but he likes pastries for breakfast that's always what he loves I love

French people so it has nothing to do with anything but like European it's the race it's the breakfast I like umami I like there to be a protein and I like rice and I like I don't like sweet things for breakfast so I'm not a cereal kind of that's a lie I'm a long anisa egg kind of gal I've seen you eat green tea pancakes by yourself oh well on top of the long anisa and I that's a side but I have to have also you know a protein in America though we eat sweets in the morning and um you know back in the day back in the day in apocalyptic days right you know a chief might wake up on his Mayan temple and slaughter a goat right and then like you know castrate a couple of his slaves and then he might eat the shoulder of some sort of animal like a

miracad or a eagle for breakfast and maybe a fruit of some sort maybe a pomegranate I don't know what's up with that's right but see but in America we don't slay and slaves and do any of that I don't imagine pancakes with maple syrup French baby and France you pomegranates the wrong food from fruit because pomegranate is an activity food for people with a lot of like patients who want a little bit of taste but not a lot of fullness and I feel like back then if I were looking for a fruit to sustain me why would I spend an hour eating a fruit that's only gonna make only gonna fill me up one eighth of tank okay can I just say that I just threw out pomegranate because I couldn't think of any other fruit have you ever thought about that Kalaila sometimes I

think you don't think she went hard logistically I think you know you think that little whole diatrabah I did about like the Mayan no even before that about like being free and then grounded all that none of that made sense I'm just tired and sick I think that everything made sense sense up until pomegranate you know what she's doing dude this is gonna drive me fucking crazy you know what she did earlier what do you know what she did earlier you knew to me earlier see you you are gaslighting me again oh my god all right can I just stop I know but stop defend it you stop all right you are manipulative all right all right all right all right all right all right George all right I'm sick and I'm weak all right all right all right all right I'm weak

right and you have to right now take charge all right and you have to you have to you have to tell Kalaila that the captain speaks first and no talking over me may I remind you that I brought you into the ship that you wouldn't have a captain if I didn't bring you no no no no no no no no no you were on shore and then who brought you onto the ship can I just can I just tell you and how about that let me just tell you my point of view and then you can express yourself afterwards okay okay okay so um as you know I like watching um shows with people auditioning I'm a fan of the voice I'm a fan of x-factor UK you know I'm afraid if I'm a fan of American Idol I watch all of it okay so I'm sick I'm laying in bed and I go I go to Kalaila I go um sweetie I'm really hungry

and I need I need juices can you call you know you know what what's this postmates postmates and get me um juices you know I need I need two types I need ones to defend my immune system and the second one I like a cacao kind of a thick protein cacao nibs yeah like this right here I drink this loaded gun it has coffee a coconut milk grass-fed unsalted butter cacao powder cinnamon vanilla extract so I do a combination of two right so she calls and she orders it right and then I go uh can you watch this you know this guy auditioning for American Idol and she goes no not right now so then when she says that I'm like oh she doesn't want to watch what I want to watch it's only a two minute fucking clip right and I'm also sick right where's my notepad

so I push pause okay I push pause I go she's gonna watch it so that yeah yes she's gonna watch it right and then so I'm just now kind of I'm sick so I'm kind of laying on my side on the bed because um I'm to an arrest my little body you know old to arrest my body because I need nutrients and I'm waiting for my drink and then when I say I'll and then she goes she goes after about five minutes she goes you know I'll watch that video now because I'm ready now no at that point I'm done because I was paying bills she doesn't know I don't want to here's nothing with me guys if you don't want to watch something that I want to watch and you're forcing yourself to do me a favor you know what I mean it's like when I tell my brother watch this movie like I for years

I was like watch Deadpool I think you'd like it right and then two years later you're like oh watch it I got this point it's like I don't want you to watch it it's five minutes right so what I'm saying is that you know you're always like that so so when the American Idol thing she was too late now she goes she goes let me watch I go no I don't think you want to watch this I don't want to watch it and then she goes if you don't make me if you don't let me watch it now I'm canceling your drink orders so there was a thread in right then I couldn't fucking believe it I couldn't I couldn't fucking believe it imagine now right I'm a sick person right yeah I'm like I'm going I can't fucking believe this lady she goes if she goes if you don't show me that right now I'm canceling

the drink order I stood my ground I go you know what you're gonna have to do what you're gonna have to do but you're yeah but you're not watching on this American Idol thing she's like Bobby in 10 seconds or five seconds if you show it to me right now I'm canceling it right and I go fine you're gonna have to cancel it five seconds goes by she cancels it right I canceled it right and so now I'm not done yet with my story I'm not done with my side of the story right so I'm fucking C word in my mind you know what I mean yeah cancel I'm so sick this bitch right so I get an option I get up no no no it's not what I said no I get up no it's not what I said to put my jeans on right I put my shirt on I get to the point where I put my shoes on nope that's

not my jacket yeah we are all I said was you do your story when you tell your story right I go I'm just gonna have to go to the store and I'm sick and I'm gonna drive she's like you know she goes I'll reorder it right if you apologize oh for what and say that I'm the queen and all the things that she wants me to say I'm the queen I'm the right one you apologize right and I you know guys I have to put my foot down and I apologize for something that I did not do I'm sorry I can't do it I have a morality you know I have ethics okay so I leave I get out of the house right and but then I forgot my phone so I came back in the house and she keeps yelling I apologize or I'll order it right I was laughing we were crying laughing

the whole time I wasn't crying laughing I'm fucking well you make it sound like this was a fight he put his foot down it wasn't a fight this was a standoff and we were laughing hysterically she was laughing the whole time I was like it was really sick and like well because she held all the cards yeah I guess right she held right when I tell this story I'm so so you know what dude I think I think going to the Philippines with you was like you going to war with me in a platoon and I really I like what you're doing right now you're being sensible you're listening to my point of view and you know that I'm the right one hey and I really agree I I'm just gonna and I want to say this I would say something to remind you what stop baby I'm not done that he threw you under the

bus while we were in the Philippines okay okay Gilbert right Gilbert from and then um and then here's what I ended up doing she does I didn't cancel it right and I go she apologized so I go yeah I'm sick I'm at this point I'm dealing with a delusional crazy person right so then I go can I go I go I go I go the way you make me sound is incredible so then I go I go I'm sorry you're the queen I'm gonna lay back down and then I go I showed her the American Idol video she got my account she got her Y at the end of the day okay let me tell you exactly but no but you I will let you give your yeah right but a Gilbert from what I just said yeah right right carefully my friend no don't there's no treading there's no treading this is not the court of law how about the sign

after I tell my story I just can't believe you yelled so much at Bobby oh yeah that's me right from what you know of me that sounds accurate Gilbert even though you didn't go to the Philippines with me right you did you're still a part of the platoon okay right you just have bone spurs like trump had okay that's what you didn't go I couldn't make it yeah yeah all right baby can I ask one question yeah at what point did you call me and say get me juices oh that that was after haha this is what that was part of it that was a part of it too I forgot I was in line at Lasson's buying juices right so she had canceled the drink order right and he goes home just gonna call George yeah sorry call George and what did I do like I texted George is like do not get him juices I was

in line I was checking out I was like sorry Angie I'd have to go back and get more stuff and then I get a text from Kalyla I already ordered him juices why is he don't get you don't need to get him more because I didn't know that she had she didn't cancel it there's so much behind the scenes I know glad let me tell you my side of the story I have been sick for a week I don't just have what he has his little baby cold I actually mine required me shitting on six different cups to find out if I had a fucking parasite I've been wiped out all week you woke up this morning at 5 p.m. you said you started crying about how you weren't feeling good I said okay let me whip you up this amazing breakfast which I did after that I updated your website and you kept saying

can you watch this video can you I was like Bobby I have to do this for you because you have all these shows coming up I'll get to you in a second yeah but I just want this cowboy's really good I want you to see him sing and I was like in ten minutes shut up man you got eliminated from the show but shut the fuck up I said when I'm he's good when I'm done updating your website I can attend to you okay right I can't I can't wait to see how you get around I can't wait to this that's fine and here's what you have to know about let's see magic woman if you if he wants something out of you and you don't give it to him in the split second right he throws an absolute tantrum and I wanted to teach him a lesson I'm the king instant gratification is not how life

works sometimes you have to wait until I am done doing what I have to do for you okay so that I can watch the video sure finally I'm done doing my job and I said okay now I'm ready to watch the video I don't want you to watch it anymore you don't deserve it okay and I was like wait a second why are you having a hissy fit I'm now ready never said it that way but anyway and then he does this he puts himself in a little burrito blanket rolls around turns his turns his back to me and he goes you don't care about my feelings I'm sick and you're not a good caretaker yes and I was like Bobby stop being a fucking brat and show me the goddamn video now yeah I won't do it yeah I won't do it you don't deserve to see this cowboy sing yeah and so I said if you don't fucking show me the video

yeah I'm gonna cancel all the juices that I just ordered oh my god I never once yelled at him he was having the hissy fit okay and then he goes I dare you if you cancel you're gonna see the mood you're gonna see a mood from me and I was like oh so you're doubling down on your hissy fit why don't you just show me the video so that so that everything is fine you get your juices and then he goes no he goes go ahead I dare you to cancel it and I was like all right I'll show you what the fuck I can do I can't I didn't cancel it I just said I canceled it I was like boom cancel the order yeah right yeah and then he's like oh I'm just gonna call George you don't care about me yeah crying never said it that way exactly he's still he's still wrapped in

a burrito blanket yeah yeah that which has nothing to do with the story she keeps saying burrito I know I keep saying burrito break twice yeah yeah after that he calls you and now I I tell him I told George not to get you the juices so he starts putting his pants on oh you I'm sick and you're gonna make me go to the grocery store and get my own juices as I look all you had to do was show me the video and then apologize for having a hissy fit about the cowboy while I was doing something for you and I was like if you do those two things Bobby you get your juices and you get to do you you win he's like no on principle alone and he starts putting his pants on he's like I'm not gonna do it because I don't want to apologize to you so he walks out the door

and lo and behold I felt of course sure enough I'm like he's a baby I'm the adult I'm gonna fix this so I said come back in I never cancel the order he wins he won the whole thing he won the standoff oh and look how happy he is because because I you know what baby but we were laughing I'm proud I'm proud of you why when I'm proud of you is this right okay this is why I'm proud you're a manipulator I know I just wow wow I'm letting you know right now I'm trying to be vulnerable in front of you and I was gonna give you a compliment can you listen to the no I know what you're gonna say already you're gonna backhand it give me a compliment about how how crafty and manipulative I wasn't gonna do that and that's good try okay then tell me okay I want to tell

you this right now you were in a losing position in the story I wasn't and yet and yet you tried you tried to get out of it and that was clever and what you and you try you you exaggerated certain things of the thing the way I was talking this you know what I loved about the story too she went into her past history I'll give you an example right if let's say American Indian person which you know yeah murdered somebody let's say right and then she's in court and she's talking about the history of how American Indians are treated in this country that's what she did with the I was sick last week no I'm still sick now right do you see how she did that I was sick last week to get gained some sort of sympathy and you didn't and you didn't when you first told

me anymore right you still put it so that that in the beginning when she says that I mean this is a crafty words of what lady you know I mean she's using black magic and wordsmith and shadow play to fight her thing so you know all this is what I fear the most if him and I ever break up yeah the how he can skew a story to make him sound like the protagonist every story he tells yeah he's always the protagonist it and it really just blows my mind yeah how able he is to make it sound like I'm just this horrible cunty bitch who's just making like crazy demands from him you're a crafty motherfucker you're crafty right now too is that you know at the end of the day you know I honestly guys um I'm physically like burnt I have no energy I just can't even think properly I don't

you know I'm just you know I just want to be taken care of it's I feel like I take care of so many people I just for one time you don't want people to take care of me is that so much to ask I provide I provide I provide you know I'm the responsible one but you know if somebody could just like hold me and go you're going to be okay for this one day and we'll we'll get through you through the sickness but you know a lot of times leaders they don't have that opportunity you know we just have to lead you know and people follow and sometimes the followers they act like they're the leaders and yet they aren't but I let I let them pretend they are so welcome back so I'm sick and um and so baby I learned a lot about you doing that first you know section of our podcast today

because um you're a survivor I love you and you're doing your best I will say though yeah that I hadn't laughed that hard we had a standoff earlier yeah it was funny I I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard because I really thought that you would you would break yeah I mean he doesn't want his order canceled but we we were both in bed we both doubled down like nine times and we were both in bed just we kept doubling down I don't even walk outside the park I'm so sick I went to the elevator and I looked at the door to see if she would open it she did it right so I'm like oh and I was in the room looking at my phone and I was crying so much because I couldn't stop laughing and when I saw him put his pants on like I couldn't believe it right but the thing is is that you know

I feel like but this goes down to a problem that I do have with her is that like she'll suggest movies and tv shows and I'll watch the whole thing you know and then if I suggest a two minute she's freaking out laughing a two minute video about something that I'm interested in it's like she has one eye on the video and the left eye on like some other tweet or some other shit bullshit that she's doing I think this is what they call projection I need 100 attention but I don't get that but it's fine okay here's I have learned I you know what I'm not talking baby that's rude that you're interrupting me I'm interjecting I'm not interjecting because there's something that I need to add yeah what I need to add about is that even Steve if you get Steve Lee Steve Lee

will attest to this if we discover him and I Steve Lee and I discover something new and we want to show it to Bobby it's not until he discovers it on his own is he he won't appreciate it unless he discovers it on his own so let's say I introduce him to like a band and say hey this is they're really good whatever right and he'll be like yeah they're good he doesn't want to give you the credit but a year down the road when he hears the same exact song he was like baby you got to hear this this is a really good song he's like no I discovered it I discovered he never it's only him he gets so funny because three days ago she goes listen to this girl from from France and she goes by this name and I fucking added three of those songs onto my playlist and if I if I go to my fucking

playlist right now you got me so infuriated right now if I look at all my playlists and all the movies that I bought I can show you right all the movies and art that Khalilah has turned me on to that I would 100% admit that she did she's influenced my life in so many ways I have no idea and if you look it out on paper right who's influenced who and who's more open to who I think I would work with that I really do because I have proof all right I'm you know the thing in the bell what's that movie the queen in the bell you keep referring to the same and only movie you've ever watched that I recommended no I saw oh my god it's so crazy that you name other one the bell um the the motor so which one was that one with the a motorcycle one with the two Mexicans

I never took a my onion motorcycle motorcycle hold on that's not what I recommended to you you watch that on your own probably no no we saw it I ever I remember I recommended Amores peros and you Wikipedia did to like to get out of it you were like oh is it the one where they the dogs fight but that was clever let me repeat that story we'll be diving bell in the butterfly let me repeat the Amores peros story again it's a classic shadow play all right this is what I did is what he does all the time I'm glad you're admitting she keeps bothering me about watching this movie Amores peros right and she's you're gonna watch it right I finally go fuck I'll watch this fucking foreign thing right so she goes I'm gonna take a shower first she took

a shower and while she took a shower I Wikipediaed the story like on Wikipedia I read the story from beginning yeah right so then when the movie started I went wait does this happen next she's like yeah and I go oh yeah I saw it that's good right and how clever is that and she goes oh you saw it yeah and then this happens and this happens and she goes oh yeah you did see it I go yeah we'll watch something else well you just robbed yourself of a great experience I know I did but can I say something but I also learned the new things I learned in that situation how to survive and I learned a new clever shadow play right to survive in certain scenarios right that in this day and age you can do that with a lot of things you know let's

suppose you know you and I are in a day which I would never date anyone that looks like you but um that's a I don't want to let's pretend somebody else is here this is a camera one of the others people I've ever seen you're a very good person though um and I guess in certain angles like right that you are good looking like if somebody saw you from behind you look at the back of the head from like three miles away but um right but that's what I see a girl right and she lets her wear on a date she's like yeah really like Russian poetry and she goes to the bathroom and I'll just google Russian poetry right there name drop name drop right and just so I have certain things that would have what she comes back I could have you know it's being fraudulent

and real and surviving could I be honest with you all of its fraudulent yes you're you're not wrong there I um right my my cousin Luisa who I love a lot she's she lives in subu and she's had issues you know like dating like the right men so I was like oh let me set you let me set up a dating site for you well or dating profile right so I set up a dating profile for her yesterday and I couldn't get out of there fast enough as soon as it was time to choose who and read people's bios I told Bobby I was like I'm out I am out it is so so fraudulent like everybody's just putting their support you know they're they are their best selves out there and in a in a cheeky way and like you know it's attempting to sound smart but not too nerdy but also

kind of funny and I'm like oh it's all just a disgusting game I hate it all so if I ever if he ever leaves me I'm I'm gonna be a confirmed bachelorette with many animals no I think that you should let me if I died I want to predict I predict that you you with either Bryce or George I think I'd feel comfortable oh my god because I want to be in heaven and I would if wherever I am I want to look down and I want to cackle I want to cackle like a fucking hyena let's go with Bryce for the scenario yeah yeah yeah yeah you and Bryce together oh my god cackle cackle cackle or George with his pink dick oh cackle cackle cackle who would you make Bobby if you if you died and he in your will you like Bobby you have to date this person if I die I think Bobby would

choose a man I think that he I think that she's just really I don't know she really really got she really is she really is pushing all the right wrong buttons right nothing wrong with I'm not gonna choose a dude baby I don't think you're gay I'm not I don't think you choose a man you know we're we were looking at house the other day and she's like yeah and I happened to want to look at a house that happens to be in West Hollywood I love West Hollywood and sure and her eyes are why do you want to live here I see like a little bit of that's getting like oh because I want to suck dick all day long I mean what the fuck you're talking about it's a nice house look on the Kinsey scale I think that you do tilt you know you do sit more on one side and

the other it's all I'm saying I I'm 99.9 percent heterosexual yeah and when I die that 0.1 percent is gonna come alive you think that's what no I don't think so I don't think I think I would be the ones just I'm imagine if you died okay what I would have to go through it would be suffering my life would be suffering from then on out all the little things of just like the animals and just being alone and just thinking everything that reminds me of her if I look at my animals face it'll always remind me of Kalilah every cranny of this house it would be a shattering reminder of what you're losing there's one thing that he did in the Philippines that will will forever sit in my love memory bank here we go I'm about to say something really nice

and I can't wait to hear it redemption so Bobby's not a good on on the fly kind of guy like he doesn't know he's not a problem solver on his feet and in the Philippines I I don't know what happens to me I had a really long day and I was really tired and I fell asleep upside down on the bed completely I didn't even like shower no nothing I was just so exhausted that I I took the I was in the middle of this big bed and he didn't bother moving me didn't want to disturb me but knew that I was probably cold but he didn't want to walk down to ask for more blankets for me so I wake up in the middle of the night and I have six bathroom towels on top of me I'm still upside down he's sleeping on a tiny little bed in the corner but he wanted to keep me warm he put

all the bath towels that was that were available in the room on top of me and he slept on a little sliver of a bed next to me and I thought that was the sweetest thing upside down completely naked right in the air conditioning is full blast and I'm like what and she could tell she was out like she was which is rare rare right so I didn't know what else to do but um you know that was a romance sweetie I woke up and on my heart felt so like oh my god that was the nicest thing anyone's ever done you're welcome I'm happy to do it you're my love okay um you know relationships are um um I've never been in one this long me neither yeah and I also want to say what Dr. Drew list said last week because people are like online did you contact Dan right tweeting me Dan did

you it's like number one doubt it's not as if that was the greatest idea Dr. Drew has ever said in his life right he made it seem like that's like you know I did get choked up though I did choke it choked up and when he said it made me choke up but just realistically like what is Dan gonna do I love him I can thank him for his help but he doesn't live in LA right he doesn't know what meetings ago though he doesn't know you know me you know I already know what to do I already know what to do Dr. Drew right and um here's another thing when here's another thing that people have to stop doing is a lot of times people will make these podcast posters online like on Instagram someone will do like a photoshop of like the podcast adventure

Avengers it'll be Joe Rogan, Callan, Delia, Theo Vaughn, Joey Diaz, Brendan Schaub you know these types of guys and then and I'm not on on on them and then a thousand people go where's the slap king or Bob where's Bobby you're dissing Bobby Lee live it's not like you know I'm this whoever's making this thing it's not as if everyone likes what I do you know the people listening now I'm so grateful to you because for some reason or another you even when I'm not on or I'm sick or I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about like today right you guys still seem to understand why you like me I don't know why you do I love you but why you like me in fact I'm coming to San Jose next week this weekend and also um I'm going to Houston Texas too the following week

come and see me but um you know you guys seem to come out and really um oh here's another thing is because of Tiger Belly um you know I'm getting like bigger date like Caroline's wants me back I'm not doing it but I think that has a lot to do with Tiger Belly so thank you Tiger Belly people I think it's sweet when they do that like where's Bobby Lee live like yeah but I but I don't want people and I'll but here's the thing what I do is I always respond like yeah where am I I did that a couple of times and I felt like you know you know bad about it but um and also Kalyla and I are very close to getting a house and um you know I think what so funny it's just it I don't know like there are forces against us so it's almost comical how close we are to getting several houses

and something always falls through yeah like they like we do I mean we're the only one that make an offer on this one house two days ago and the guys because it's not listen when I don't want to throw away numbers but the number of the house isn't something that I can actually afford the limit that I have is my limit the limit is like I can do this which is smart because you don't want to be house for that's the biggest mistake I can go above it but then I gotta add so much more stress to my life in terms of more gigs and more I need to find more money you know and um so this is it so you know we're the only one that wants his house and then they're like yeah you don't have to write a letter that is so weird I go what letter just how much you're in love with the house

which I've never written a letter to anybody before I had her write it of course I wrote it the letter was nice though I was like all right well but she would make she wrote it like a love letter I did it's like they're destined to be together yeah you know I mean dear like soulmates they're soulmates I had to describe the way I felt when I walked through the doors the floor the succulents in the backyard it was like a fucking Daniel Steele romance novel I wrote yeah and they still said no well they're like he's they're trying to convince them but um we might not find a place because what Kalayla and I have discovered during this this year journey I'm trying to find a fuck number one it's stressful two years is is that we we are very we don't you know like I can

walk into Sebastian Monoscalco's house which I've been in this house and it's super nice like you can see you know his lamp fixtures are like Italian they have like weird like shapes to it like a Cirque Soleil fancy yeah yeah like his house looks like a Cirque Soleil play you know I mean where things are like gold and you know I mean it's a nice and twisting and everything's like there's like you know very like adult things falling from the you know like what do you call it like not flags but like banners thing yeah I think it's just dangling and chimes and really nice stuff right I you know I've been in Delia's house it's just not for me right we have a very specific you know I mean taste but that doesn't mean but that means that most houses don't have it I think that you

and I want a mix of zen but whimsical like we like the feeling of like we we're looking for a mood so and our mood is a lot of um wood and a lot of like um like a Japanese like a zen garden basically but with it with with quirkiness so little like like bright little flowers on a wall or some shit like that we like the we're still very childlike we're very uh younghearted so we like there to be like a childlike aspect to the zenness but when people go we'll check out this Asian house you know they'll show a house that like looks like a temple a temple that's not what I want that's too much that's way too much I need like you know in the middle there I mean I we saw a house the other day that's like in you know West Hollywood yeah I would I just I mean what would it

like literally this it's like a plastic little house it's interesting but things are made out of plastic it's got like I can't even totally it was just weird like almost like you're living in like a motel six that's in Japan that's the only way they can explain it and I walked in everything about it right but here's the thing it's like this little tiny house but around it or these these gigantic apartment complexes so it's like you're being swallowed up by West Hollywood right it does it has this feeling of like unrestful a very unrestful feeling but I still would I would I love it because I love the fact that when you walk out of this thing it doesn't look like any other house there and that it looks like we're in the city I didn't like she hated it not when I said to

her I go I'm gonna make a bid she she was almost like if you make a bid we're done I can't live here I'm a he's more I'm a feel if I walk I'm very sensitive to to I don't know the way the walls feel the way the way the air circulates and it has to feel like a happy home or I'm out I don't care if you have all the bells and whistles if I walk through that door and it doesn't feel like a happy home or I can't imagine my Christmas tree looking over and saying oh that I have the warm fuzzies I'm out like the downstairs was there's no way out there's no windows because it's like there's a prison it was like a prison when you walk downstairs just like you can feel that you're underground like a bunker and that's my most favorite feeling feeling like you're in a bunker told everyone we

were looking for zen and then no no no no no no no you're right I do want Zen that's why I didn't get the house yeah right but there is a part of me right that likes fallout yes we get it fallout yeah right what are you doing we have another ad oh my god you just I'm trying to be better with you man I want to be I want to love you man I want to talk to you guys about I know you don't want to talk about it but my brother and Kate Hudson are dating don't give it away no but I'm because I'm going to give away what happened in the podcast oh okay I can talk about that we did a podcast yeah yeah you can talk about yeah so Steve and I went to the Pacific Palisades to go to Kate Hudson's house to do Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson's podcast insane we show up there and I call Oliver I go

where are you he's a guy man 30 minutes away oh okay what do I do you guys just go in I go we're not we don't know her just walk in with my with rage man I'm gonna walk in there with rage man see what you know just test the waters out yeah so my brother and I walked 15 blocks away because we look like stalkers I imagine two Asian guys sitting inside this gate of you know apparently it was a Goldie Hans house so we're standing in front of this brown gate right with other paparazzi and people like driving around and fans oh you see them yeah yeah yeah and my brother are just standing there like fucking I go pretend you're trimming trees like we're like this you know tree brothers or something that we were there to landscape or do something right so you walk 15 blocks right and

then for the whole time I was telling my brother I just kept saying to Steve I go no matter what they say if you show any kind of anger we're done you know that right oh to my brother serious dude what I'm not gonna do nothing I'm just letting you know that this is like that's the biggest my biggest nightmare to have Kate Hudson say something to Steve right Steve rage out yell right and then all of a sudden oh I'm fired off of together I don't know you know I mean yeah but I have to say my brother my brother is a survivor and he went in there and I kept telling Oliver and Kate I go that's not really him but they kept going oh we love him and Steve's like doing this innocent thing I don't know nothing right and then just eating off of my brother's hands he really is

a special a performer he really is a performer my brother has um through years of survival in you know in America he's an American citizen yeah right like I just said like he was from Thailand um that he's learned these he learned how the the mask that he needs to wear that's gonna make people love him but we all have masks right the way I act in a meeting isn't the same way I act in a comedy club the way I act in a comedy club isn't the same way as I act in front of Kalila's family we all have the other versions of yourself who gets to see you unmasked you you're the only one completely and I feel bad because she sees sides of me that no one's has ever seen I act like such a fucking baby I act like such a spoiled brat I just like have no

I don't think that's right to be like that in front in the relationship I maybe have to change that but um for some reason I'm just I don't think about me wearing a mask I think I'm free here she's seen my funny sides my you know my gentle sides my nightmare sides right everything I've seen a lot of things of YouTube though yeah yeah yeah I've seen a lot of weird sides but would you would you call me overall based on on you knowing me for the past almost six years um would you call me pretty stable sort of stable or unstable well I can only compare you to my only experiences with other women my other relationships and compare to them you're stable that's a relief because I always thought of myself as being um when especially in my 20s really unstable because I

always I always led with my feelings yeah I didn't always lead with my head and sometimes I couldn't sort out my feelings so often and I would lash out in relationships and I always thought I wonder where I stand I wonder how people like perceive me like from the other end like as him like as my partner yeah but I'm only basing it also on I know how I behave you don't think that when I when I behave irrationally or I rage out or I'm you know I'm just being intolerable that I'm in my head I'm going what the fuck you're being intolerable right now why did you say like I say things of myself I don't fuck did you just say that that's crazy so you're just trying to be nice but I just can't help it oh my god I thank you every day of my life though why I have never grown so much

in such little in such a short amount of time that I have being your girlfriend it forces the growth out of you if you've ever wanted delay your adulthood there was no time for that with you I was in my head I was like oh he's childlike I can be childlike with him no someone had to be the stable adult and initially in the beginning we were both unstable and eventually I was like this can't one has to give in hallelujah hallelujah I gave in and and on top of that you have taught me how to have really thick skin which I didn't have before yeah and so the amount of growth is a lord yeah praise the lord for that yeah yeah I mean you know I mean I've I've seen when girls were even more childish than me that does not work like one of my girlfriends

you know we're at Vegas and um my brother was there with me in Vegas and she's like anyway I'm gonna go up it's like almost two in the morning guys we're gambling we're gambling and I go yeah we'll be up in 30 minutes see are you sure like yeah yeah I mean I'm having a good time with my brother but I'll be up there at the end I cut I probably go up there about an hour and after and we're having a good time she locked my hotel room I couldn't get in you know the chain and all the whole thing yeah until the next morning you didn't have a place to stay I stayed in my brother's room geez my point is is that when that that right there it didn't it took me about six months to break up with her after that but that was the beginning of the end of like hmm

that's like crazy right I'm having fun with my brother like if she goes I'm gonna go to Quinn and I are gonna go to Hawaii yeah to go you know to snorkel because I know how much she loves snorkeling and then like she calls me like a week later she goes we're gonna stay here for another two weeks you know what I'd say have fun you need money I would yeah there's no nothing there's no weirdness you know you know she she's also the best about although she still doesn't I get why she does it because we're you're in a relationship but the checking in thing I you know I've never been a checking in like a parole officer kind of a thing where women act like parole officers you view it that way I do I do view it I view it as connecting

and caring I know that's what's great about it that's the real yeah that's the real because if we don't have that we have nothing exactly and that's why I check in because it's not because you're my lover it's because you're my friend bingo I check in with my friends every day too that's real that's real and that's the healthy and that's what's real still it seems like they're my parole officer yeah you know I mean not you but previous girlfriends like I texted you an hour ago how I don't do that I know you don't that's why I'm saying that's why we've lasted but I've had little girls you know I texted you like you know how can we text me back I go because I'm not a criminal I have never I follow the law you know I'm a decent human being check in who the fuck are you

right but with her she like at two in the like if I say I'm going to the spa yeah and like she's I should be home at one and it's two she'll just check to see if I'm alive yeah which is different different energy yeah yeah which is thank you are you mad right now no no no I'm just trying to I was like what's happening on the fight I'm trying to understand the folly of my ways that's all there is no you did you're doing it perfectly but um yeah I can't be in a relationship if it's like if that's in play of like you know yeah talking and going express how you feel about the situation so you don't hold resentments is one thing right but to constantly be out right and like and the last thing this girlfriend did I told you this but let's say it again is when you know she she

texted me that um she had a um callback on a commercial like in the morning she because she sleeps somewhere slept somewhere else and then like I woke up like four and I read the thing saying that she got a call back from a commercial audition and then she calls me and I go hey I just woke up she got who fucking wakes up now and I go you know see bye and she just hung up and that was it I I will say I can't do it that having been your partner for a very very long time and knowing that you can be very one-sided about your storytelling I will give her the benefit of the doubt and saying that you know what maybe you had some things you hated about her but I'm sure she had a full arsenal as well of things that really frustrated her about you maybe and I

loves you one day maybe one day I think you'll find it in your heart to maybe apologize to her I am sorry I you know what honestly I want to apologize to all my girlfriends I am so fucking sorry there's there's probably nine of them that I should sit down and go I'm sorry I did this I'm sorry I did that I'm irrational I'm crazy I don't even know why you even you know went out with me for that long and I'm sorry yeah okay but then I also I want to say but I did do this and do that and do this which you know I'm gonna say this for all my fucking irrational behavior in relationships here's the one thing and this is maybe a bad thing but I've always been generous yes I have I that's a fact yes like if a girl's like um yeah I don't you know I have too many

ships I go take some time off don't worry about I got you I'm gonna take take half you know that's how you derailed me so I know I'm just saying well you're the best thing about the kind of generosity that he has is in beside there's a term called boy boy on and there's no no no no you're not boy boy is bad because there are people who are very generous but they actually have a hero complex and if you don't give them what they want from you they'll hold it over your head they're the people who give but never really they never forget what they've given um Bobby he gives with the true desire to just help you and not remember that he helped you and I think that's the beauty about your kind of generosity I remember

all you do yeah so you're keeping tabs they're people no here's a thing though this is that oh god this is hard to say because I gotta I gotta be very sensitive with my words here there is somebody I I've helped all my life I love most of my life I fuck Steve right I have okay my brother he's the number one guy right throughout my whole life and I will continue to do it to the end of time he's a part of me he's flesh and blood and I love him he's my brother okay um there was a time where he's not he wasn't as generous toward me which you know in vice versa if you think about it you get offended by it like there was a time like there would be times where yeah I you know I help him with his electrical bill or his phone bill or whatever

and then like I forget my credit card at home and I need to buy a coffee it's an issue right until he changed but he used to be like that like five bucks was like a huge deal and then I'd be like bro you know I mean like you know of all the things but you know maybe I'm just being childish but he's has changed my brother's so much much he's so good about money now he's very generous he gives me birthday gifts it's great socks every fucking time anyway what are we doing at time because I'm sick and I can't you got a question wait wait what what are we doing time though so far over 50 is it good I like this is fantastic it's a fun one it's a good one it's a good enough because um it's a good enough he will strike you yeah I'll

tell you the good one to have is because um we I don't have a guest I'm sick I was like again you know scared some crazy antics were happened earlier which and um at the at the end you know we got some good ones coming up you know and I thought Craig Ferguson Dr. Drew those are some good ones who else do we have the last couple of months you know we got to get Andy Dick yeah and if you guys oh Dan cook texted me today oh great yeah he's like when am I on so I don't know I think you're off at all I'm if it's not if he did if he texted you then his uh well I'm not gonna throw anybody under the bus but yeah we've been uh we've been in contact don't worry about it they've been talking I don't know why though Dan Cook's calling me going what the fuck

is neither do I I'm not gonna throw it at you then no every I get all the messages too and everything is fine I don't give a fuck if it doesn't happen I don't care who's fault it is if it doesn't happen on my end why hasn't he told me he's not next week then I want confirmation why are you getting angry why are you getting angry I know but you're you're supposed to yeah I know but you're supposed to be soft you're supposed to not show that side you're supposed to be the cool-headed producer I've offered next week and go ahead let's do that I'm helpful advice with you fucking with your voice dear tiger test what were we uh when we were younger my older brother we were young my brother older brother not used to get along great when my

brother moved that I'm sorry when we were younger my older brother and I used to get along great when my brother moved to high school he became more busy with work so we drifted apart and spent less time together but would still talk play video games and etc for the past three years my brother has been away from my family at university so we have had very little time of communication and only see each other around christmas time uh the first christmas he avoided me and he would only reply with a word or two with the second uh he would only insult me and for the most recent he pretended I didn't exist the one time he spoke to me okay I well they wanted to say uh this summer will be basically they're not they're gonna see each other for the last time it's gonna be why the

last time uh they're going off moving to different places uh so uh he says you all have such good sibling relationships how can I at least be speaking to my brother here's what it is will his name is will hi well um here's what it is what it is what it is what it is what it is what it is my brother and I when he was in ASU and I lived in LA I didn't see him for years we talked once a year you know it's when later in life when you realize that oh human beings are scoundrels and especially in LA there's a lot of insects who want to grab you and they lie and you know and you realize that family is all you have really I think my brother and I both just one day went okay we realized this is our love but I don't think that that love if you look at my Instagram

I do a series of photos the last photo is what my brother and I was in high school if you look at that photo that's what pretty much our relationship was in his early 20s and in my mid 20s was just kind of this you know there was love but we're not kindred like we are now I think you'll find will later in life he'll come around you're already thinking of it you already want it to happen it's going to happen but it might not happen now he's might have to live some out there he might have to get hurt a little bit go ahead baby no I think you said it right I think that he will come around I think that when you are a young man a lot of things are a brand new are happening in your life that are very shiny and new and can be very can take you away from family

it's the same way I'm sure a lot of mothers feel when their kids grow up and go off to college and all of a sudden they're not calling mom every day I think that's like I think you're experiencing something that parents experience when their child goes off and it doesn't mean that he loves you any less it just means that he's distracted by the new things in his life but when he gets older and things settle and you get settled I think you'll find your way back to each other and build a bond stronger than you've ever had in your teens but I never had that with my sister we were always close you guys were also put in a situations where who had who had the kind of life experience that you had that could relate to you I'm pretty sure

your sister is your sister is the only one that could say that you guys went through the same profession as swimmers you had the same mother who was probably at the time like she's a trophy mom yeah right she was she would physically harm you if you didn't do stuff right and you guys basically that's which is traumatic and you you know lived I think my brother and I have the same thing I guess and many times but your brother and you and your brother have a bigger age gap so that also accounts for something yeah my sister and I are only a year apart so when I say that we grew up together we actually grew up together yeah I was never far behind you know so when something happened in her life let's say she got her menstrual cycle I was only really a year behind

she could also be like a twin but she just her twin is on the other half of her body you know the twin thing that you talk about where like twins feel what the other feels yeah it's exactly the same with her and I if she's not feeling well or if she's feeling uneasy um or if I'm not feeling well feeling uneasy before I can even admit to myself that I'm feeling a certain way she's already calling me saying hey are you okay it's just it's it's a weird uh I have the same with my mom like if I fart she queves and it's unbelievable and we call each other she calls you I go I go did you quit yeah you thought yeah it's great wow mother and family yeah they're both bloody too sometimes oh my god Bobby we don't ruin a perfectly loving advice

section does will good god bless and take care god bless you though we have one more email not I don't really okay go ahead go ahead go ahead this is from our friend named Lou oh good morning slept kingdom it's 5 a.m. I just woke up from a crazy dream that I have to share with you guys oh my god I'm walking down the street in my neighborhood with some friends and we pass on this is really being real this is real it's not a joke that's funny we pass an old white man who gives a very off-putting look we try to ignore it but starting getting the feeling that he's following us we run up to a house with the porch lights on but no one seems to live there we decided to stay there until we feel safe to come out until we notice the creepy man is standing outside staring into the house

and begins to shoot I hide in one of the bedrooms and begin dialing 911 when I reach the operator to tell our location I say your p.o. box address once I woke up I knew the address was familiar and I had to check it was indeed the tiger belly p.o. box do you guys think dreams hold secret meanings what could mine mean that's the scariest dude I'm being real right now all right dude that that means that this person is going to shoot fucking our p.o. box so he'll shoot a bunch of mailbox no but someone's gonna shoot is our p.o. box where George is no it's a business we have a facility it's a facility yeah but the peel but there's no one on it is there anyone in this facility yeah the owner of the p.o. box hold the FBI that's that that that one that one's scary

okay anyway thanks for thanks for that it's just a dream it's just a thing I had a dream a couple days I had a dream where Bobby admitted to cheating on me with 46 women Jesus it's how old he is 46 and I was crying but then after that I was like you know if he had cheated on me with one person it might have been more painful in 46 and I was trying to explain that and I was trying to like come up with the like proper rationale I was like yeah because if he's cheating on me with one person that means it's probably a lot more emotionally involved and that he's checked out of checked out of me emotionally 46 just means he's just plowing through pussy and not even taking the time to get to know him or their names do you know what I mean

but in my sick rationale I somehow made myself feel better and I was okay when I woke up from that dream I was like okay it's not that bad 46 isn't that bad one is bad interesting god I'm a sick human well but before I forget remember that dream I told you about that I had basically you guys remember the scene from Inception where there's a van yeah yeah yeah so I went to van it's raining really hard with Killian Murphy in it uh was he in there yeah it's they're trying to dirt in something people in a van oh oh yeah okay different one yeah yeah I'm in I'm in the I'm in the van and then I'm like on the ground my butt is up the air and it's you and your sister wearing like your nurse garb you guys are trying to put something in my butt and I'm saying no no no and

I friend was driving the car it's just a rating and it's just like bouncing back and forth and then the dream just ends what am I trying to put up your butt was an animal were you constipated something with a metal and then like uh like a an old phone like this this wire attached to a box oh my god you guys are fucking weird I feel like that's something you would really enjoy in real life getting pegged what were you gonna say sweetie he's cold are you okay George will we live to see another day um oh you know we never really gave um our audiences the full of a Philippine experience but that's because I do want to explain this we were very excited when we first came back from the Philippines and immediately we recorded a Patreon the next day and without the intention

of really spilling everything about the Philippines but we inadvertently did yeah so if you do want to hear about our trip back home um definitely check out our Patreon and it's all it's all in there we should give a give a free episode I've got a horror at least a eclipse of the Patreon to the main rss feed at some point yeah for sure especially that one um and it's because we had a guest um last week yeah yeah so we wanted to keep it fresh and when we record the patreon everything was still so fresh in our minds so I almost feel like the timing was just off to talk about it on this episode yeah uh any shows for bobby um yes bobby will be at the San Jose improv this weekend um friday saturday sunday and next weekend he's at the houston houston you

you always have a problem with that word the houston um houston improv um friday saturday sunday as well you can go to bobbyleelive.com I just updated a bunch of new shows and once again make sure for all bobby's tour dates go to bobbyleelive.com you can also uh follow him on instagram at bobbyleelive you can follow klila at calamity k and gilb will you give the update for the merch oh yes guys uh you can see klala's sporting our gray long sleeve uh uh uh me walking down a street shirt it is if she turns around uh it's bobby walking on a sun that is whistling uh on a street and it's one of the best shirts in the world and that will be coming out in april so everyone be on the lookout we're gonna have some new merch uh make sure you snag it before it sells

out to follow us on social media which is at tiger belly and on twitter at that tiger belly emails any questions at the tiger belly at gmail.com everyone have a good night we love you hey prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad-free on amazon music download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad-free with wondery plus in apple podcast before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey