TigerBelly - Episode 194: Fat & Wild

Episode Date: May 15, 2019

Bobby is on fire, but not completely lit. Khalyla mixes dogs and birds. Gilbert watches Million Dollar Man, the musical. We talk Splitting Up Together’s cancelation, new home stress, dreaming of nightmares, Game of Thrones, and Thug Rose.Weekly bonus content here: https://www.patreon.com/TigerBellySupport us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. Cuz I'm dancing with my eyes closed. Yeah, I'm gonna sing this song in the beginning. Okay You ready? Yeah. Five, four, three, two, one. Wake! I'm not alone You're right beside my face Would you love me this way? Cuz I'm dancing with my eyes closed Sip cake, it's me babe

One more time for my taste. Oh, I'm waiting for the beat to drop this part Oh, yeah See me fall from your eyes to your waist. Okay, that's enough That's a new album by a new band called Rye. It's not a new album, babe. It's a new it's also a new band called Rye I just discovered them. He had woman. That song is called Taste and she is wonderful. It's a he. Whatever Welcome to another episode of Tiger Belly. I am your host Captain Bob And you know what? I haven't complimented you guys in a while And I think I'm gonna start off that way

I want to stop in a positive note because I'm going to say some negative things Some positives and then I'm gonna yell at you. I like it. Okay So the positive thing is is I was at the comedy store last weekend. It was a couple of girls from Toronto and They came up to at the show and they said we listen to Tiger Belly. I go, oh cool. And they're like We love Kalyla. We think that she is the show. She's 50% of it. She's so smart Is she here? Tell me that she's here. I go that licks ain't here bitch. You know, you know Licks ain't here. Nah, nah, nah but so, you know, I know the fans love you baby and

God bless you and may your voyage be a long one George you're the foundation of something and you know, you really are right something and you touch many many many You know many touch what and there's something about you. That's like a forever man So that's that Gilbert. Yep. God bless you and take care You're now here the negative things No, not you babe these two fucks, okay, so Friday I had

Devastating news that was life altering. Okay would gave me a lot of stress and anger a lot of sadness it was almost as if a Close friend died and None of you guys today said I'm sorry That that happened. Oh shit. I don't even know that it happened. I think oh, what is it? I know what is it? I just found out this morning. I'm so sorry. What is it? I'm finding out now. What is it? Yeah, you go Gilbert. I get I know you go first Get canceled

Yeah, sorry. Did you know? No, he did. I told you you did on the phone the day of oh My god, so Kalilah Friday told you that's pulling up together got canceled and brice. He's in a mood. I'm in a mood and Then oh that's what you complete the weekend. I know on Friday I would have immediately called you sir, or you could have said when you saw me today if Because you were at the house for an hour before we even started this thing. So what what's your story friend? Hang on when you come in the house. Do you say hey Bobby? How are you? Now I come straight here and start setting everything up. Yeah, it does

But I came in here to say hi I Came in here to connect. Yeah to see if he was gonna say something. Do you know what's going on in their individual lives? Is it as devastating as losing their jobs, yeah, I had to watch what happened. I had to watch Game of Thrones. There we go That's very sad. How about you? It's going to here. I don't upset her. No, I had a lovely weekend There we go. Hey, babe. Okay. So, you know when the news happened, right? Yeah, and I said You know, it's like because I was on my way out the door when I found out and I was like fuck it I'm not gonna leave the house. Let me stay here with you. What can I do for you? And you know, I'm not gonna let you And you

You're very difficult to console and you're very difficult to support. So what is the correct way for someone who? The way your style of being upset. Okay, here's it is. Here's what it is. It's very simple I got you food lock. Yeah, that Jersey Mike's that's that was a win because I would have killed myself without that I got a jersey and then you lock eyes with me and you say I'm sorry for your loss And you just leave me alone for like 48 hours. So I did what was right exactly Because I felt like maybe I wasn't doing it. No, no, I don't like being coddled or held I like to be completely alone and in a cell and into my own just like scrim thoughts I just never been, you know, that way. I wish I was different. I wish I could like be held

No, I like a baby. No, that's not true. That's just the way you cope and that's okay. That's how I come different But so that happened and you know when people say stuff like Well, when I don't when a door closes another one opens, you know, why people say that Yeah, sorry white people sometimes a room has one fucking door when that door close. It's just locked into forever. No key Right, you know, or it's you know, what here's it when they go spiritual when they go Well, God has something else in store for you or you know, it was a man to be Really? That's the worst when you're feeling so Horrible and you just need a moment to feel horrible and the happiness bully police comes through and they just they have these one-liners

That are so fucking cliche and you just want to fucking just punch them in the anus Because you just don't want to hear it You just want a moment to cry it out, but they won't let you yeah Then they start spilling the one door closes the another Stop using my voice guys I love how we all went to that as the go-to voice or so then this is so that happened and then it got worse even So I was at the comedy store last night And there's this girl that I'm not gonna say anything cuz I love her

But she she's a new regular she gets spots all the time Now and I walked up to her and go hey, we're friends with the same people this and then she's like Yeah, we did a job together and I go what job is that or remember that Goldman Sachs commercial we did with Mitch Hurwitz If you don't know Mitch Hurwitz it was he's he created a rest development And I remember doing a couple years ago a series of commercials for Goldman Sachs, right? Is that the one with like Robert Kelly? Yeah, but Robert Kelly was on him. He came here from New York. It was fun And they were like these long dialogue scene kind of like commercials

And then like a couple of months after that I found out that they just didn't air them Oh Right at all And then I ran into Mitch Hurwitz in Hawaii And I go what happened to those commercials and he said I don't know I don't remember I don't know there were no big deal And then the lady the girl from Sunday last night She goes you don't know it was you I go what happened something about you showing your penis

Not on set But it's so I'm like I showed my penis Maybe on like a tiger belly vlog when you're like stick it on Georgia's shoulder Or when Ari when I stick the candy bar in my body That was around the same time as also the beach Ari Shafir doesn't like candy like He doesn't like Snickers up the butt I know but Ari Shafir

Ari Shafir Shafir cornered you cornered me and and lost me a job That could have been I could have been the new fucking Verizon guy or flow Progressive flow the face of brother. Yeah, I would have been the face you fuck So anyway, so then that happened and then to make even matters worse That night I come home. I come to the Quindus house to see Game of Thrones We watch it and that whole thing is I you know you you can see all you want

Hey, I'm gonna finish the show. I love this. I had so many great moments with the show But it's obviously the the rushing the thing it doesn't feel right some of the deaths and You know brands just that's it brand just did nothing arc is you know arc is done. I think they're gonna blow us away with a final I hope they do that's why I don't want to get too into the penultimate supposed to be the best right but it maybe it wasn't Yeah, but what what she said Amelia Clark said oh you got my favorite as the fifth one, which is the one we just saw I mean because she just burned I know but she said I think people are gonna love that one right but so it but no one's talked about the sixth one That's not what she said she said that for the fifth episode find the biggest TV

And it because it was a beautiful it is a beautiful episode it is a beautiful it's shot really well But even a fine that's fine and I'm grateful for that now why did they not want to extend into another full season Because this whole season in my opinion should have just been the white walkers versus the world Yeah, you know from all eight whatever six to ten episodes of just them death versus life right Because it had come to that point and I think there's so much to we could have gotten so many more hours out of that Or maybe it's a budget thing. I don't know or maybe they're just tired Or you don't do six and you do 10 like you do you've done every up every year and you you surprise us with something like Like that theory where the Night King while they were attacking Winterfell simultaneously they were attacking King's landing

Yeah, what are you laughing for nothing. Why are you laughing the way you said Simon taniously I didn't know that's a simultaneous also how you say it Simon simultaneously so you said Simon like love Simon great We'll have to rewind that we have to check that you know that's another thing that I want to address that I want to address that Yeah, I I I'm sitting here thinking you know what throw out a fancy word like take a risk right you never used it you know in conversation But just throw it out there and the first time I say it she has to fucking criticize me I said Simon but it's Simon You know why I do that right right because every other word I say you mock me for having a Filipino accent So outside of this is a dirty accent you go ding dong ding dong ding dong You say ding chong no I don't yes he does

Wait for example yeah give me a scenario or you know like if let's say if I say if I if my one of my A's or is too long in a word Like I can't I don't know how to say Nectar Oh you say Nectar some nectar Is it nectar I say Nectar and he's like ding chong ding chong You go straight to Chinese Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah so I can't say certain words correctly because I or when I say instead of saying I guess you're supposed to say close I say clothes Oh like okay with the D

With the D and then he goes into the ding chong ding chong You know you know what I hate when I'm on stage and there's an Asian guy in the audience What does he do And I always go I say sometimes go hey what's up Asian dude what kind of Asian are you And they say something fucking dumb and futuristic like I'm human Trying to be funny No that they don't want to be you know clumped into any kind of like you know category And I want to say I get it I know what you're doing but I have a joke I'm going to tell right after that

Fucking up my punchline You're fucking everything up by being like you know fancy Too woke Yeah you're too woke dude But anyway ding chong to you babe Licks all day every day Is Licks still alive Licks is alive and well

God I pulled some pictures of Licks Yeah Wait what You have pictures I have some pictures of Licks And Pasadena But I'm going to only show you guys a portion of my face which is the important part this part my eyebrows You have it because I only had seriously like two strands of hair per everything else was drawn in

I think the fans desire every photo that you have that's Licks That's Licks I will try my best Licks is a fan favorite Yeah Oh fuck alright I guess I got to call some Favors from you the hood Yeah some friends you know like Carnalas Ding chong ding chong okay ding chong to you

That is insane What do you think of the episode Gilbert? Same as I think everything Not other than not ding chong ding chong That was the dumbest thing I think I've ever said on this Call my friend Carnitos Oh Carnalas Oh okay

No hold on is it Carnalas or Carnalas if they're all girls Carnal I think it's a gender neutral but I Oh it's gender fucking neutral No Carnalas if it yeah If it's all guys right ES ES is a is a they Who gives a shit George I don't

It's a great lesson guys Yeah it was a we're shouldn't have said it Not only was it rushed I think the episode I think people were out of character Orally if they were out of character they didn't build up to it with arcs So like Danny would never kill innocent people Yeah It's way too fast Varys would never just go in the open and talk to John

He would do something behind the scenes Right and also the reason why Varys is dead in the first place Is John's fault right And so he's gonna get burned alive by a dragon John's sitting next to Danny Like not defending him or saying anything You know if I knew that somebody warned me Don't tell your brother Steve

Because I know that if I told my brother Steve anything And you guys know Steve That everyone's gonna know Actually I think your brother is a better secret keeper than you I was like wait a second Wait you're talking about yourself Isn't it reverse We've got it

You know people don't know that though People don't know that when they're listening baby Just go with that you know No no no we've had major blowouts unerable in this room Because you can't keep a secret Alright so alright anyway let's reverse it then Yeah Okay let's reverse it

Babe you are Varys Right So my brother tells me something Right And my brother knows that if he tells me The whole world's gonna know Yeah Because I gotta tweet it

Right And the next thing you know I'm gonna get burned alive by a dragon And my brother's standing next to Danny You know It's like No I thought that

My brother should defend me Varys was such a massive character for me Who was like he stole a lot of his scenes And I thought his death was a little unceremonious Yeah He was the fucking baddest motherfucker And his only loyalty was to the realm You know for the goodness of everything

And he just died you know in the night Yeah By dragon fire Not only that even the other deaths were kind of like I didn't like Jamie's death I don't like his character arc That was the one thing I was disappointed about That was weird I was okay with him dying

That he died with the woman he loved right I'm okay with that But someone should have killed the Circe No I don't think she deserves a good death She deserves to get killed By Danny By someone No she deserves to die there by the fucking

Yeah but with no one witnessing It's like you know it's like I don't know like she got out Yeah she got out It's like I have a stand up joke Right that I tell Why are you smiling? Because I feel like you want the Asian guy to say something

No no no Human No no no I just have a joke where it's like You know I was in line with a friend At Starbucks Some guy cut in front of us

And I was going to say something to the guy But then my friend said Don't say anything because of karma He's going to get it you know But I have to be there when that karmic thing happens For me to feel better To experience it Right

So it's like with Circe Not getting anyone to witness her death It doesn't feel fulfilled But Because Because No but last I want to listen to you baby Hold this one last point

Because of the fact that If she's going to be buried under all that rubble They may never find her body She's also not dead That's a very good point That's a very good point But let's suppose she is right So

Let's say at the end of the day After the next episode John Snow is the king Daenerys is dead right And people are standing around going Circe is dead too right If you're like We don't have a body

But I guess But nobody knows Yeah Right so it doesn't feel satisfying Um I don't think she's dead And she's going to end up In a new place

Where no one's going to believe she's Circe Because she doesn't have the money To show for She's going to be like Hey I'm a Lannister And everyone's like Oh that crazy woman over there Who always says she's a Lannister

Yeah but she's one of those Types of people And I don't know if I've ever told you The story I think I have But when I was with There was an old man Who owns the

Improv in Schomburg in Chicago His name is Tony He's a great man And I was standing One morning we were doing press And it was snowing in Chicago And we were at a light And Tony's like 80 years old

And you see a homeless man Across the street And he would just look so Like disheveled and Cold and I felt bad And I just looked at Tony I go let's suppose Because he's a well wealthy man

I go you had no Money all of a sudden Your family didn't exist And you were that guy How long would it take you To get off the streets And into like A stable way of surviving

You know He said one year I get a job in McDonald's There's just some people That even no matter what age They are They're going to survive The fate of that man

The mental And Cersei's one of those people Cersei would go to an island She would fuck whoever She needed to fuck For herself For her way up And she would survive

She would never be panhandling Yeah there are She's also attractive Yes Yeah She is That's true That's a good point babe

Well you could disagree with me I was just throwing it out there You know No I hope if she is alive Someone better kill her It better be Sansa Or Arya Someone's gotta get revenge

I am loving the Arya arc though I am loving every second That Arya is on the screen That's true She gives me goosebumps Every time Every step she takes I'm like in awe of her

I And it's so funny because The first episode When she When Bran is trying to do the bow and arrow And Arya is like Seven years old And she does it

It just shows you Since the beginning What her importance In the show was going to be She was like Skilled even then At that age Her character's arc

She's been through a lot of hell You know At the end of the day though How much joy Has that show given you A lot A lot Many years of joy

And There's a lot of comedians That refuse to watch it And I want to spit in their eyes Or do the thumb thing Yeah I want to do the hound The thumb thing

The thumb thing The mountain classic The mountain classic I think that The biggest thing Game of Thrones has given me Is a closer bond To friends and family

Who watch it Just sitting there And talking for three hours About prophecies And what we think is going to happen With my family It's such a bonding thing I think it made our relationship stronger

I think it made a lot of relationships Stronger because it was like church Yeah And Even the years where Like when the year John Snow died Right And then there was that whole

Weird seven months Where we had to wait for the next season That was way too long That was way too long But even that seven months I remember thinking to myself Like months would go by And thinking

It would pop into my head Game of Thrones is coming out in six months Like it would be a thing in my head Where I'd be like Three more months You know And then when he was I think in the second or third episode

He gets revived Oh that was great And when he hangs those You know that little kid What's his Ollie? Oh that one's in a good scene That was tame You say that was so great

Fuck Ollie But that's what I'm saying Ollie gets that death Where we get to see it That's a what the fuck moment Yeah and Cersei Nah Rocks

Yeah 9-11 Minecraft Yeah Minecraft That's it Yeah that's Minecraft Here's another devastating thing That I saw

Was Rose Ooh we didn't even talk about Forgot about the fights I know you guys A lot of people listening right now Don't watch Game of Thrones And they don't watch UFC So you're gonna love this episode

So you're gonna hate this episode But I wanna say something to Rose Namayunas Personally from the Slap King Number one We've now had Biz being on the show Johanna's gonna do it soon

Don't tell her that No I know That's her Forget you'll fuck Johanna No no no we wanna run No we wanna run Yeah yeah But I'm just saying

I'm just saying that We're not We're on the map Tiger Belly It's not a waste of time Okay And I wanna say this to you You

Were beating Jessica Andrade Andrage To a pulp What was I doing when she was fighting You were doing the same thing You do right before something devastating happens What is that?

Because every time he over He throws too many praises And he says Ah fuck she's lighting her up It's a clinic This is a clinic And I always say Calm the fuck down

No I just wanna ask you Was I crying He was crying He was so impressed in the first round And he was like Wow this girl's a legend And I'm gonna say something Her footwork

And not only that No no she even her jabs Were like everything She was ripping her Apart Much faster Right And then Jessica Andrage

In the second round Does Incredible Hulk move Oh Bruce Banner is this shit And just pokes her up Slams her, knocks her down She hits her head And she gets unconscious

But I wanna say something Rose Not many Eunice Okay You have to I know you're thinking about quitting Or changing leagues and stuff That's dumb

Okay That's the coward's way out No don't say that I mean you're not one Is what I was gonna say But what I'm just gonna say to you Cause you're not gonna do that What I'm gonna say to you

Is I promise you That You're gonna learn from that mistake You're gonna fight her again And you're gonna get your belt back Because I really believe in you I've never seen

From you fighting What's that little girl from Sacramento Paige Van Sant From Paige Van Sant To now Your growth has been It's just been Exponent

Is that the right word? Cause I want you to make fun of me Ching chong, chong chong babe Touche babe Touche But you have grown so much And I believe that

To the point that If you fought Paige Van Sant now That she could die That's how good you've become She is a ninja rose She is a legend status And everyone watching that Cause I followed it online

And people I read about it Was like That was a freak event So freak So Jessica you can And congratulations

It's fair game Champ It's fair game But I have to tell you You have not won me over Isn't that the same Isn't that what happened

Who was it fighting Was it Rampage versus Ricardo Arona back then Where he lifted him up And like knocked him out that way Yeah Rampage I believe was losing Right And then he lifted up

From a triangle and slammed him Yeah I think that was in pride right Yeah That was really Yeah Rose is awesome And I think we talked about it

In her very early episodes I think episode two or three Where we predicted That she would be a champion one day Yeah she is um Great I just would hate to see her Retire

Retire Movely It's dumb I get emotion You know they shouldn't interview Like Kalilah said to me the other day They shouldn't interview people Right after

They fought because They're just so emotional And they have no way of reflecting Any time You said that Yeah but I think That she's also been talking about it Because she had a 13 month gap

Before this fight Because she was She felt very um Um Uh The Connor McGregor incident in New York With the Dolly

The Dolly got smashed She was inside that bus And she was really traumatized by that And And I should that's the reason why It took her that long to want to fight again And I think that that sort of like Fucked her up in the head

Don't quit Rose Yeah Yeah But man what a talent It would be so I would I want to see her for 10 more years She's also very young She's 26

Yeah So Rose if you're ever in LA I know you're gonna do want to do Rogan and whatnot But um She's already done Rogan But you know I really need you to do So we're the next step down Also Interpol putting a snippet

Of Tiger Belly on their feed Instagram feed is amazing Shout out to Paul And um the Andy Dick episode Um Was crazy Yeah You know and you know

What's that laugh about Hey I thought I held it together Yeah Okay I mean I did rage out After everyone left On the patron But that's just you know afterwards

Before I just don't like I just don't like strangers in the house That's all I'm weird about that shit You know that Yeah So I also want to say that We're now we're moving Oh yeah we didn't announce it on this podcast

We haven't No on the paper So we found a house we're moving Yes It's stressing me out Papa stressed I'm so stressed out Big time

We went to Furniture Shop in the other day Good stuff It's so expensive It's so fucking expensive Like give me a couch Like what's a nice couch Like fucking eight thousand dollars Eight to ten thousand dollars

To sit on something I know But I mean if you If you're looking at We're not going to like IKEA Or may fit But even IKEA is expensive

It's still expensive Not big enough Like the big family couches and stuff That shit's not cheap Right To furnish a home is not cheap sweetie Yeah But we went to Roche Barbango

What's that called Roche Bubua Bubua Yeah we went to Yeah We went to some places Like there was this one like Like wall where they had

One of the stores we went and do That had bookshelves They look great Oh my god yeah Right Oh my god look at This would be great on this wall right But they were like

You know the whole wall Was four different sections Yeah It's like think about this red thing But half of it Yeah That's one shelf That's one shelf

Guess how much How much for this one You know how much for the whole thing Well Each shelf is Six thousand dollars No it's like Three thousand dollars

Three thousand dollars Three thousand But it was So you wanted But you needed five Of them To make a full shelf To make a full thing

Right And so it's like Fifteen thousand dollars Also another thing I don't like Is I think you and I need to Dress better Because anytime we can walk

Into these fancy places Oh my god They think we're gonna Like try and steal a bed frame Yeah And excuse me Can I help you They really do come out of

Nowhere right Yeah and they're like Cause we do dress sort of Bummy a lot You know Oh we would be on Yeah I have sleep in my eyes

Yeah And I also act Like I don't know where I'm at What is this place I'll say stuff like that out loud Just to confuse people Do you sell chairs here Yeah yeah yeah

I'll say something I'll say things out loud To confuse everyone Working there And everyone's so polished You know what's going on I'll be loud and I'm not just What's going on guys

Woo Roche bubba Roche bubba I won't pronounce it right But Yeah we went to these places But I honestly I'm the type of guy that

Cause when I did this place You're not gonna believe it But the painting And I did that This is all you designed Yeah I designed the whole thing I bought everything I did everything

I know everything's in the Picture frame It's so impressive Yeah I went to a picture Yeah But I like to get it done In two months

And then I don't do anything For 20 years Oh I see It's a hardcore two months It's a hardcore two months So I want to buy all the couches I want to buy all the everything So when I walk in there

I go okay We have everything And now we're out But it's a beautiful place Yeah And I'm pretty excited about it You know and For you to let you

Ha ha ha To let you Ha ha ha Roche bubba Roche bubba To let you guys know We're moving away We're moving away mainly because

Of the witch that lives next door Oh I forgot about her I haven't The witch next door That put out those dog pooping Flyers right Remember lady The reason why I'm leaving this area

Is because of you She's probably really happy about that I want her to be happy Because my war with you Has just begun Oh Oh When I move is when the real war starts

Yes I like this side of you You do Yeah yeah Because you always tell me Baby don't flip off their camera anymore Ha ha ha ha Yeah

You've been doing that? Yeah she's been doing that Every day like Well the worst one she does She puts Remy our little dog This one Remy flip his finger

And make her flip off the Wait Ha from like 200 feet away They're not going to catch that No they'll do It grinds You got to grind them down slowly sweetie

That has guerrilla warfare What I'm doing That's some licks Because every time she checks her camera Camera licks is there With Remy and licks are there Yeah With her fingers up

Yeah But you're always like No no no don't do that babe You can't stoke the fire Yeah because this lady This lady Yeah because this lady This lady put a thousand flyers

Up and down Insane The street Based on something that I didn't really Like barely did It was Not enough I didn't push her over enough I don't think

To have her do that So in my head If you push a girl lady A crazy human being like that And let this be known lady You I don't care who you talk to You could talk to your parents

And they could be No no no you're justified Or you're a nice person Or you know You're a great person sweetie You could talk to your priest Or your counselor Doesn't that

I want to let you know When you look in the mirror You're fucking crazy There's no No but my friend You know says I'm not Or my boyfriend Or what

No you're Fucking Crazy But I help in a soup kitchen It doesn't matter I know I'm crazy You know that you're not a good person Okay

That you need to be in a building somewhere They have paddings And they give you like Pills per hour You're a fucking Crazy crazy cunt lady But I don't want you to do dirty work What?

No Yeah I'm not gonna do any of that Yeah you gotta leave that up to me You're gonna do it Do the dirty work You just blink But also keeping up people Are getting their shirts now

So when you do move You can tell people to walk down Whatever street this is With their shirts No Once you move No we can't We can't send the army her way

A parade just on the street You know You know it's It's funny Because She spends Hours Making these flyers

And her little kinkos thing She has set up in her living room And she probably thought This is gonna This is gonna Get him Launch my career Or this is gonna hurt him

And it did hurt me You're right And whatever you did It hurt me in this way You made me thousands of dollars Because of those t-shirts You hurt me so fucking bad Why did you give me for free

Thousands of dollars You know Wow Way to sucker punch me She got you good dude She got me really good And I don't want to say specifically What we made

But let's just say that It's more than ten thousand dollars So So So Hey lady With the flyers Make more

Go down the street Paper the town More content I need more content I need more money All right This lady God it's ridiculous

You know Oh my god I know it's crazy I haven't checked in with you Gil Because we've had guests I know Gilb Okay Timmy

I feel like No one knows what's been up with you lately Including us Because you're so too You're too important for us Peasants I also don't promote my own stuff You know like you're too busy

Every time we're like Gil Let's do this And you're like Oh no I have like this going on I already made plans So we're basically chopped liver to you Well you got me that

The Chinese food thing Oh yeah that's coming out That came out where Where's it gonna come out Netflix They said Right now it's on stage 13 And Facebook watch

And then I can't say Where it will go next Do you know Ish But you can't tell me that I can't say it When That new streaming service

You know but can you tell me I'm not sure Can you tell me after this episode Like privately Yeah Were you possibly Yeah Can you say it now

No No Why I don't think I'm allowed to Because it's not sure It's not for sure But if you say it's not for sure Yeah

Right Can you then say it Well it doesn't exist yet Even if it doesn't That's the clue That's the clue It doesn't exist yet You know they're making

A million dollar man movie What Mark Wahlberg It's trying to make A million dollar man movie Oh Like the The TV show

Oh I was thinking the musical Okay I don't know what Fucking planet you grew up in But If there was a million dollar Man musical There was I think

I don't think there was Yeah But it was a show Yeah And he's been trying to make it You've been thinking of death of a salesman No I'm not thinking of death I'm thinking of something with a number

No no no Don't do that to me That's funny And I believe there's trumpets Involved No No Yeah yeah

Yeah Yeah a million dollar man Okay Alright and I love death of a salesman Yeah Mark Wahlberg He's been trying to make This thing for very

For many years So he keeps saying You know this company this But it's not for sure But he's throwing out in the universe So why don't you just Throw this company on You know where do they

Got to stream it Well I don't know I think it's just like It's a place That's fine Nope So what else is going on How's your girl

She's good Are you guys gonna get married Before Bobby and I Probably Yeah Unless Unless you're gonna propose at the house No we don't do proposals

It's gonna be one of those Shotgun am I as well Wait you think Bobby's not Gonna propose No I feel like We've had this talk before And this is what Bobby says

He's like babe I just don't Know how to do it He goes do I call Abbie And If I ask you Yeah And you say no I would never say no to you

I know but if you said no to me And I asked you That would That would scar me For all of life That's worse than the Dog posters You are my

As the absolute love of my life I know but I'm a nightmare You better say yes I'm a night I've given you so much Nightmare this weekend But you know what sweetheart I've dreamt

Of a nightmare My whole life I never wanted easy Yeah what kind of guys Do you like I I didn't think I could get

The type of Inspiration You describe it to me The two words I like them fat and wild I've always dreamt Of a man I said I need

A fat and wild man And that's Honestly It's a good album When I do what No When I do what's special That's the title

Fat and wild Yeah I love it Yeah yeah I love it And that was always My first instinct When I first moved to America

And my first boyfriend Josh He wrote a BMX He was fat and wild And then As my hair grew out And I took my braces out All of a sudden

I shifted And I got cuter boys But then I had to go back home Yeah to fat and wild Where the fat and wilds were Yeah yeah It really is

An interesting Person to be Being fat and wild You know Because you You can surprise people Like if they don't know Who I am

And I walk into A nightclub They're gonna see some shit Like Dancing they've never seen before Me disappear Reappear Especially when I'm using

Doing drugs I'll be careful I blow everyone Fat wild and crazy I get really wild You know what I mean And I eat pussies too Oh

One pussy Just one But blow a lot I blow everyone I blow everyone But just one pussy I have some Rumors

I say it Damn it But I want to throw it out there Do you know what they are? Yeah I know what it is I'll tell you what it is I'm gonna tell you Okay I'm gonna tell you

The gist of it Okay Sansa relax I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna tell you the The gist of it Alright so Sansa I'm gonna give you a gist

And no one's gonna know But here's some clues Okay Alright but Do I know this? Yes you know what it is Right Oh well I'm out this game then

It's a guy Who's done our podcast And Something happened to him And that's it You know what? That's good Cause now I want you to tell me

I don't know Yeah I can tell you I have to work Hold on hold on babe Look at me real quick So I can read your mind Oh yeah I think I know No look at me Let's see if I can read your mind

Reading his Hold on hold on Does it face me in anything? Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Oh got it What is it? Just throw it out there

We'll cut it out if it is Does that have to do with Dane Cook? No Oh come on That's your gist That's your gist? Yeah cause he did this No I'm nuts

No that's not Dane's face is all No Dane's handsome Oh whoa whoa whoa whoa Dane we want you back on the podcast And your face isn't like that Whoa whoa whoa And that's not That's nothing

What you're doing How was that Dane Cook? Tick tock tick tock baby Yeah no baby Oh guilt Dane look at me right now We love you He was a great guest

You're amazing Yeah that's not him That's not him No I'll tell you later man I shouldn't throw that out there Like that You know

But you know what You know what the fascinating thing About That's what you deduced From the facing game I thought he was what he was doing And you were so sure Like I got it

Yeah yeah Woo Hi energy Hi energy you said Good transition Hi energy But here's Here's somebody that we did a podcast

With Brittany Furlan I really love her If you don't know Brittany Furlan She was a Vine star She used to date Josh Adam Myers But now she's married to Tommy Lee

She's I want to say something about Brittany Furlan On the record Okay Tommy Lee Like Tommy Lee Jones Motley Crue

Motley Crue Tommy If you would have seen my face I smirked No I know Pamela Anderson bro Yeah that's just Tommy Lee's ex-wife guys It was Yeah

I never Come on sweetie Yeah I never saw the sex tape The OG sex tape Before Kevin Ray J Okay thank you So that was a joke you did Yeah I tried

You ever swear to Swear to God I did George heard it before Cause I actually was confused at first When he told me Alright so So it wasn't a joke but it wasn't It wasn't

Yeah it was both You can't Brittany Furlan Can't live in both Is a modern day Joan Rivers She is Super funny

Super neurotic Super just endearing I I mean she's an attractive woman But she's more than that She is everything I honestly believe And her and Collyla hit it off

And they're like Communicating back and forth If they did a podcast together Like an offshoot of this Like a all women podcast It would be It would Surpass Taco Belly

Eviscerate Honestly it would Eviscerate everything It would rival guys we fucked We're gonna call it scared sisters You've already talked No we just call ourselves that Oh I got excited

Oh my god I got excited No because she's so Like she said she wears her anxiety on her sleeve And she talks about it Yeah Whereas I am She's really an anxious person Yeah

Me too You guys are similar in that way But I like to maintain Or pretend like I have a cool exterior And try to keep Keep things at a lower energy level Where she's so the opposite So the contrast works

But we're equally dying on the inside We're just dying See we look different The death looks different If that makes any sense I love her I think she's also very smart She's bright and I've always liked her

When she was on Vine Three or four times I did videos with her And she would just call me Meet a little Tokyo We'll do something I needed the numbers But I also just thought she was great now I want to talk about

The most important thing right now That I want to talk about And I just thought of it Is that my parents live in Phoenix This weekend I'm playing Tempi Improv Okay What's that for

All your hands I'm playing the Tempi Improv I don't think the tickets are selling I know that Joe McHale is at the other club The same weekend Same weekend right And I have to compete with Joe I love Joe McHale

But I have to compete And I don't know what it is Like I go listen I go everywhere now And sell tickets Even Cincinnati I've never been there Was okay right I mean I

You know because of Tiger Valley Wherever I go It's sold out But Phoenix Is just one place Where I haven't been able to like Completely crush it Is it because Tempi is a college down

Does that have any No because Tempi's in the middle of Phoenix So it's not You know Scottsdale All these places surround And my parents live there So I don't know what it is But it's like

It's just one of those states Or cities that doesn't You know are huge Bobby Lee fans And I don't know what it is Like in California yes Even Oregon City You know Washington East Coast Midwest

They're good Texas killing it If it makes you feel any better There's someone that lives In Arizona with Arizona plates And his plate says Tiger Valley So that's one fact Is he coming

I think he's been to your shows Can you bring his friends Can you bring all your friends sir But anyway I want everyone to know That I'm going to be in Tempi And probably it'd be very very nice Thursday Friday and Saturday May 16th 18th

Yeah and um Especially now that I don't have a TV gig And um I want to say to people that Did watch Spilling Up Together I'll tell you why I love being there And I'm going to tell you why

My fans didn't really respond the way I wanted them to respond It's not the kind of role That Bobby Lee generally plays He was just a little bit more grounded This character But I want to say that It was the best acting experience

I've ever had From Jenna Oliver to the whole cast The kids everyone From top to bottom I really I love And it was um An unforgettable experience I also don't know how long

Network television programs Are going to stick around So it was like the last Of that type of show Um it just was I don't want to get emotional but You know I wish it would have stayed on It didn't

That's life People go You're going to find something else Probably not But if it doesn't happen I still have this If this goes away I die

But you know Pops You know This is coming from a pessimist And I am you know The most pessimistic person I have a really big feeling About this next year for you

And I will I just do And I don't think anything Goes right for us ever But I feel like It's Esther Provinsky said the same thing She looked at me and she goes You know I'm not worried about you

Me and David Her boyfriend We're not worried about you And I looked at this little fucking Fucking little cherub This little cherub This little pygmy And I looked at a little fucking

Pale cheeks and I said You have no idea what they fucking Are talking about right now You know Thank you You know Because You know

People have been saying that For 20 years I think there's a difference Between people just saying it To soothe you Versus people in your life Like me And Esther

Who really believe it I would never just say that To make you feel better In the past Have I ever said that I said no I think it's gonna be rough These next 10 months

She has said that to me before It's not looking good It's not looking good We gotta fucking double down And work harder But I don't feel that way I'm actually kind of Excited for you

Yeah it's like Yeah I know But you know Here's the thing Here's where you know You're on fire That's the thing Is being on fire

Right I'm not completely lit Right I'm not completely on You know who's on fire? Theo Theo's on fire Right now is his time

Theo Vaughn Is completely lit Right Tiffany Haddish Is lit Very lit We're talking lit in what Leslie Jones is lit

Okay Just on fire Just gig after gig Deal after deal on fire Me? You look at my schedule And I'm playing cities You know

Madison, Wisconsin June 14th to 16th Ontario Improv June 21st to 23rd Those are the next couple Yeah yeah yeah So that's not That's for work and thank you

I'm grateful What, any unhelpful advice? Yeah I mean I don't know if we can say it on here But I feel like you've mentioned some ideas Of projects that I feel like Yeah but yeah I know

Me and that little gay Peter Peter We've had this one on this podcast Yeah The Korean guy Peter and I are We wrote we We're pitching a show together And we're

Here I am Chop's liver again And Kalilah Pitching a show together Producer She's producing it You're the EP bro I'm so chopped liver in life

You're not chopped liver I'm chopped liver babe You're still in the game You're like Ser Davos You're in the game Ser Davos This is my idea To make it good

I know I know He's like me and that guy Me and my gay best friend Peter For the longest time I've been telling Bobby Hey this is the show you should make No no no

You don't know what you're talking about And then finally he's like Yeah that is the show we should make And then now I'm not Fuck me No you are in it I'm just saying it Yeah

Anyway And not only that There's also that other thing That you said would take a year To prepare to shoot That's fucking huge too Yeah yeah So I'll do the one now huh

Unhelpful advice with Bobby and chopped liver Hey guys I'm obsessed I've been bitching Tiger Belly Daily at my desk job Thanks for what you do I have a six year old son

Who was addicted to Fortnite And rages out almost every day You rages out? Yeah you have to Rages It's part of the experience It's part of the experience Not like the compilations

Of rages on YouTube But he has punched a hole in our wall I guess I'm wondering As a mom who wants to teach Her kids self discipline And rage control But also want to sympathize With his testosterone

What amount of this Do you guys think is acceptable I can't stand trying to take a nap And being jolted away With his screaming rage God thanks Emily If he punches a hole If he punches a hole

In one of your things That belong to you Punch a hole in one of things That belong to him Punch a hole right through that console No no no Can I just defend the kid? Yeah go ahead

Sure She's asking you how to And I'm going to At the end of what I'm about to say It's going to be clear to everybody Okay No okay The reason why

I stopped playing Destiny Is because that same rage And what it is For those of you who don't play a game like that Is you know When you're playing a game like that You're playing online against people Right

And usually the task is difficult Like you know in Fortnite You have to kill 12 people in a row Or whatever you know what I mean Or right And if you die you have to start over Right And the prize that you get

When you're doing it Is something that's actually dope It isn't like You know It's not money Yeah But it is something that's you know Specific

And something that you desire And that if you don't have it You can tell that there's a difference Right So a lot of things are tied into You winning Okay And when you lose

It literally makes You have to start over Right Sometimes the event Or whatever it is That's giving you that prize Is coming to an end In 45 minutes this is ending

You have to win 6 times in a row Right And then you see the time go down And you have 5 wins in a row And then Oh I died I got struck In the time

Punch a hole in the wall You know So the only solution To this problem Is not playing it at all Boom You know So for me

You know I want to play Destiny But I haven't Because Kaleila gave me an ultimatum And she said It's either to Destiny Or our relationship And then you gave me an ultimatum

What? You ultimated back Yeah he did What? He was like It's either you accept me For who I am Or you don't

And I'm like A video game addiction Is not who you are And then you were like Oh you're right Damn I tried that move It didn't work

Then she got you back So hold on If this was her kid though Okay we just brought The brand new house You just bought Fucking nice ass walls Right

And you put the fucking fancy Wallpaper that you like A $600 thing Right And you're really proud Of the work that you did At home And this kid is just

Fucking freeloading Because he's their kid Right Basically a mooch Until he's 18 Right All of a sudden You see his big ass fucking

It'll be little with our Fuck Yeah Fuck just through the wall Yeah Into You scared Remy Oh sorry

Through your Little studio Ghibli Ghibli Yeah Artwork Yeah Ghibli studio Yeah

I would say Simon Simon Simon Yeah dad What You can play Fortnite

All day long There The rules Read the rules There's ten rules Right You have to have A grade point average

Of at least 2.8 What That's pretty low Thanks dad Fuck 3.0 What's the most

No it's 3.5 or up babe No My kid If he's super creative 2.8 2.8 is straight A's to me Is that C's? What is that?

That's like C's all the way That's fine That's fine I like average Fine dad 2.8 Yeah 2.8 Right

And you don't scream And you don't break things If you do it again I'm taking the console That's it So either listen or not listen Yes sir But you would address him like that calmly

Yeah But if he did it again Then I'd be like Alright give me the fucking console Gone Give it to me And I would throw out the fucking window I would shatter

Dude I've seen a Korean dad And then And then Five hours later I'm back at fucking Best Buy Which one color do you want You know Two controller

Here's two controllers Two controllers You want the special package thing Special destiny Yeah yes Special edition armor So that's what I would do Anyway what would you do

I would fuck it Ready wall punch Boom I'd take an axe to his console That's the first thing I'd shatter Like that Korean dad That was insane Would there is stuff like that?

A Korean dad walks in the room Because his son's playing all day Takes him like an axe or a hammer And starts smashing his PS4 and his TV Told You've never seen that It's fucking hell less It's the best

The kid just like ducks for cover Right And just keeps yelling dad Is he crying? No he's just scared as fuck Yeah I don't know I think if my kid was a generally good kid

And he just let his emotions Like if he was like super creative Got you know good grades Did sports And this was just his tiny bit of escape For two hours You know this feeling slip I would let it pass

Like you know you can't do that shit But if he's doing that on a regular To honest truth I'd probably play with him Yeah and that's fine We're both punching holes in the wall That's hard And I measure the hole to see which which Who did it

Is there another question or is that it? Yeah one more I struggled with the Percocet addiction for years What is it? Percocet Molly Percocet Addition for years which led to a nasty heroin addiction After overdosing on a highway

And luckily did not hurt anyone or myself I entered rehab for the second time I got out this past summer in July And I've been clean since I've gotten back to school and I'm working Basically my question is I live in Allentown Pennsylvania And I hate the local AA community

Every AA room is filled with old people I'm 24 Yeah While the other rooms are filled with addicts Still using in the bathrooms or right outside I cannot find sober friends And have extremely lonely You know you know

Stop there I know what he's saying Joe Okay Joe When I was sober at 17 You know this is in the late in the 80s Alright And they told me to go to meetings

And my sponsor made me go I was 17 And he made me go to Men's meetings Like Early in the morning Or Friday night When kids my age

Were going out I was in a fucking meeting With 500 old men In a church somewhere Right And then they come out to you Hey pal

You want to get some pancakes You know you're 17 You want to fuck But you're like Yeah old man I'll get some pancakes And he teaches you about Living in the moment

And tools about life You know And I really honestly do it It's like Those Moments for me Were life changers You know

You know I have been all around the world I've done Mugs been sober Fucked women not Partied not You know Done well

Not done well But at the end of the day The memories that I have That are the most important are Those specific memories of me Being a kid And being around older men I'm talking about like professionals

That's what you say too All the time Is that you have to You always say You love to surround yourself With people who've had a lot of time Sober Yeah

Like when guys You know Yeah I have six months I'm sponsoring people I'm like Nah I'm gonna go with the guy

With 50 years Because that guy Here's what I need What I need is And I don't really have a sponsor right now Okay And that's why I'm Just the way I am

I know why I am the way I am Right But when I do get a sponsor I would want one That's going I'm not gonna sponsor Unless you do these things

Religiously I'm gonna go to do this Three nights a week We're doing this Right We're reading the book And meditating Or whatever

Right And you need that And you're gonna get Allentown, Pennsylvania You're not gonna be there forever And here's another thing If there is only old people Create your own

A meeting With young people If it's five people Maybe you'll save a life You know Because that's the whole point Right Is to help people

That's the only way to be free So That's what you do Anyway I love you guys Come to Tempe Tempe Are you guys doing

Afterthought rules? Afterthought rules Yeah, we'll be back with some Real papayas of May real quick I'll do the May May Well, you're here Real papayas of May Will Bochler

Love your dick Wes Diggs Yours is not great Oh Bond Johnson And Spencer Brown Rachel Wilkins

I love it Javi is from Singapore Is always my favorite Amongst Melvin Flores I love Melvin Flores And Laszlo Tatay Is another real papaya That's all the papayas, huh?

Yeah Oh, the Patreon's growing We're getting bigger Overall This is just one group of it Yeah Okay, thank you Probably one of my favorite in a while

Oh, yeah, it came out yesterday Oh, everybody's saying Your song was straight fire And other things that kids say these days We gotta get going I'm telling you, sweetheart Your songs are awesome Yeah, and we're working

In the studio Bye-bye We'll be back with some housekeeping Hello Hello, everyone We are back And we'd like to thank All our sponsors

Voodoo, ShipStation, Dave.com And Postmates If you love movies like WeDo, head over to Voodoo.com Tiger Belly to start watching today Try ShipStation By using the promo code Belly at ShipStation.com

Make Ship happen Brother, I've got a shipment No one else ever jumps in I mean, Bobby's British accent Can we just hear your British accent? That was British? Uh, cockay Okay

There we go Don't you watch a lot of shows Like The Crown? You know, when English is Your second language Becomes extra hard Just try the word I cannot

I cannot do that to myself I can't do those ears I cannot I cannot do that I can't do it Get your immediate savings today At Dave.com slash Belly Never pay another overdraft again

Get $100 free delivery credit, George For your first seven days Using Postmates with the promo code Belly Was I supposed to Jump in with the British accent there? What do you, what do you, what do you Oh, God, George, no Love it

They used my name I didn't know But I didn't know the game He was trying to get to Your foot just come out of nowhere And also thanks to everyone Who wrote us iTunes reviews last week And a so-stress papaya to you, my friends

And if you haven't yet Will you please leave us a review And we'd love to see what you guys Think about this show And if it's bad and negative I'll do it Still give us five stars Just leave us five stars

Should we read a couple of these? How about, George, how about you Read one of these? People love your voice Oh, shut up They do, I'm being serious It's popular Yeah, when you're saying dumb things

White guys say What was it? Just keep on keeping on, guys You know, that's a That's how you truck through life One review Before I started listening To everybody I was struggling down on

I was struggling down on His luck hair on junkie Who was always looking for his next fix I had become alienated Not only from my friends and family But most importantly from myself After subscribing to the podcast I found the courage to find my inner papaya

And now I'm the CEO of a big, famous Fortune 500 company So this could happen to you guys Which would not have been possible Without the ancient wisdom of the slept king The gay boyish charm of Gilbert Okay The seizure inducing whiteness of George

Yeah Seizure inducing And the handswitting neuroticism of Calyla I love it Signed no name Love it Okay, I'm okay with no name Like Arya

Yeah A girl has to guy has no name Yes, and um I got it, I got it Filipino style, bro Put it in between the toes, bro Nice, and then Dude, that's legit, bro

And everyone clip that And send that to Ellen So Shutterfly could sponsor her I want Shutterfly money And $10,000 for your foot video I hope they don't get Don't zoom in on my corn skate Cause I've been running

And I have one, two, three Corns on that foot That's good, you're an athlete You should have corn I don't have pretty feet like I used to Also guys And everyone who's been having Any interesting problems

We have a new email For unhelpful advice If you didn't hear about that It's adviceunhelpful at gmail.com And uh, any shout outs? Anyone got anything? Um Think hard guys

I mean Don't use straws That can be as simple as that Um, a shout out to Octopuses and squids in general For having very complex eyes Mm-hmm George

Do you have a shout out there, Gilbert? I am trying to look for one I'm looking for a young man That sounds weird I don't know why I chose to pause Not out of your voice I'm looking for a young man You know what?

He was supposed to remind me Of who to give a shout out to I believe it was to his mom But, oh, here we go This is from uh, Vettie M Hey Gilbert I want to ask you a big favor If you can shout out my mom

So, priority birthday is next week She is seven years clean So, shout out to you And shout out to Sandy Your mother Congratulations Yeah, Sandy Make sure you hit up George

Send your mom a shirt That once again that is George Contact George Uh, that's Bryce Hellick On Instagram There you go Uh, thank you guys for listening You can follow us on Instagram

At Tiger Belly On Twitter At the Tiger Belly Uh, Kala, where can we follow you? At Calamity K Can you pass me another paper So I can pass it to George? Oh, okay

But you gotta insert it Into my toes first Okay, like that Yep I love how, that was cooler That was cooler Okay, hold on I gotta pass it back to Gil

But you're, you're weaker going inside See how it's Oh, because my no knee blocked me Shit Hold on, George, pass it again This is great I'm scared you're gonna get a A paper cut

A paper cut And you're big toe Wow, this is great Oh, great content for audio listeners Oh, my hips really hurt What radio, what radio Yeah, her nose is bleeding She's like 11

Uh, you can follow George On all George social media Bryce and all Bryce And make sure you follow me At Bobby Lee Live And check out all Bobby's tour dates At BobbyLeeLive.com Hey, Prime members

You can listen to Tiger Barely Add Free on Amazon Music Download the Amazon Music app today Or you can listen to Add Free with Wondry Plus In Apple Podcasts Before you go, tell us about yourself By completing a short survey At Wondry.com