TigerBelly - Episode 20: Mosaic Sperm

Episode Date: December 16, 2015

We bow down to the leprechaun. Bobby and Khaly take a road trip to Arizona. Khalyla's dream scenario involves a centipede. We each choose three baby daddies whose sperm we'd like to genetically cross.   Recorded December 14, 2015 Music by Bobby Lee Instagram: @tigerbelly Twitter: @thetigerbelly www.thetigerbelly.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Hey One two three Welcome to Tiger Belly. My name is Bob. We have Caliola and we have Gilbert and um, I feel Ashamed and I feel Like I back the wrong guy And I want to apologize to everybody Is that not a word polologize?

Because when I get nervous and I'm shameful. That's how words come out. You sound like max hollow. I apologize Apologize Hawaii So I'm a guy on instagram on one of my photos made a comment and he said McGregor is the truth That's what he said And I read it and I got really angry And I wanted to kill that motherfucker But you know what he is the truth

Oh, can we get a slow clap for that Gilbert and he has taught me a lot of lessons about life number one The belief of manifestation He manifests things because he believes things It's kind of like the secret He says i'm going to do something and he does it and Josie L though During the fight before the fight. He looked scared

No, he didn't he did i'll tell you why he always looks like no he no he doesn't he looked gray What does that mean? There was there was just his tone just his face looked gray I know what you mean. It's called like when when in beside we call it luspad When you're sort of a little like you're it's from fear you get a little bit pale But if your dark skin you get a little bit gray. Yeah, he seemed gray to me and Let me just say this It was a 13 second fight

And it felt like 9-11 and I don't I don't mean I don't mean to say that 9-11 Wasn't devastating and it was Globally devastating Lives were lost. I'm just saying the feeling Felt like what the fuck Happened I wasn't shocked more than the ronda fight Oh way more because when I called the ronda fight, you did. Yeah. Yeah, but this fight I literally believed

That jose aldo was gonna Destroy connor mcgregor And I was mistaken and I want to say to the fans out there and people listening I apologize, but can I say this? Yeah Wait until they fight again I believe it because I'm going to say this right now. Okay, jose aldo was championed for a decade And he hasn't felt the pain

Like that. He cried all night What do you think though of the fact that you know when someone when someone gets knocked out like that your You slowly start to lose your chin like the more concussions that you have and although this isn't the first time He's been tagged. He's been tagged a lot in the past. He's always he's gone through five rounders with people and And he's been tagged, you know, so it's like after a while. It's like a van der leis silva van der leis silva used to Be you could never knock him out, but at the end of his career It's like one blow to his like one scrape to his face and he would be on the ground just Concussed and out, you know, t t rexing and for those of you who don't follow mma

And are listening. I apologize. I'm sorry. We just have to get this off right. It's literally A devastating weekend for me. I mean, I'm glad luke won rock face rock face Rock face rock face. He has a rock face great chiseled face. Yeah, I'm glad that um Um, namayunas won destroyed that girl's face page fans gijo destroyed barbie. Yeah destroyed It was just a real it's been a very exciting time in the mma world. It really has been and um Oh american heart won against chad exactly. I also want to say this if I know you Be more people in america publicly like mma more than they like soccer But I want to say that it's been a fucking crazy

Premier league year. Chelsea lost to bern mith today. No lester city They lost to bern mith last last year last weekend. Yeah, and they lost to lester city today And it's just really crazy. So who's the top three in the fixture right now? Lester's number one arsenal number two. Yeah Oh, and then we know we're not because we they did the champions league draw and we we matched with barcelona. We drew barcelona Yeah, we drew barcelona and those guys all fuck each other too Yeah, they fuck. You know what I mean? And I know iberma vivic and pk That's some gay shit. Bible he knows. I know I've been studying that photo for years, which is also kind of gay

Do you think that's latan is going to be in the stands supporting his lover? He'll dvr at least. Oh, sure. For sure You'll watch it over and over again. Anyway, those are the two things. I don't want to bore The people out there that don't you know watch those things sports sports, but um, I don't watch football. I you know, I don't I don't know why American football. I don't like it I don't think you don't like it. You just don't follow it. I think you could You if you gave it a chance, I really feel like you could really learn to love it because it is very exciting

I know I grew up with it Like my dad and I used to go to vikings games when we lived in minnesota I went to a bunch of chargers games. I know the rules who like the only asians in minnesota viking game probably But the thing is is that I just don't like the idea that like some athletes on a team is used as a human wall You know, and I know it's skill, right? It's like you have to push that guy to the left Yeah, so you can open a gap opening, you know, right? Yeah, so that you know, I mean natron can run through That's the only running back. I know natron means from the chicago charge

San Diego chargers San Diego chargers. Yeah, I know I'll ask me. I'm going to tell you who I know I'm gonna say a team say one player. Well into the history of it. Give give give the biggest the quarterback of the pittsburgh stealers That's an easy one. He's been he's been the same quarterback forever right now. I know in this moment What's his first name ben ben henderson? No, I don't know Ben rothwell rothwell, okay, I don't know that 49ers san francisco 49ers, you know that guy I I'm gonna just tell you what I know from just the 49ers in general. Okay, jerry rice

Okay, well that's good enough and joe joe montana. Okay. Well those okay good Also, jerry rice sort of flip flopped there and he wasn't just with the nine. I know but you know, he's you know Associated with the niners, correct. Yep. So I know he ended with the raiders, right? I don't I don't know jerry rice joe montana. I know that I know um What else chargers quarterback I've never I've never even known any chargers. Okay. If you didn't know ben rothless burger, he's not gonna know anybody else right now The patriots

Oh, come on. Oh, no, no wait. Where'd god me say fucking elway? I didn't see elway I didn't see elway. How dare you. You almost I didn't. You almost. I know who it is But just oh, I just tell me the first name. Okay. I'll deflate gate the biggest They're brothers, right? No No, no, no, he's talking about um, he's talking about mario and luigi. No, he's talking about elay and um, elay roth No, the director Sweetie, it's the guy what I know. I know this the ball

There's something about a deflated ball and he had something to do with his wife as a model His wife is a model. I don't give a fuck. His first name is tom tom brady. Yes. Thank jesus. You win a spa day with bobby Tom brady. Yeah, correct. Yes, correct. And then the the brothers though, what are their names? There's two guys manning. So there's elay and the jojo No, what was his name? Uh, elay manning. I know the name trying to give you a hand. I don't want to give it to you. Yeah Come on, baby. You can do this There's a shoe store

Uh-huh. Where what's a couple of shoe stores? Me? Yeah. Hello What? It starts with a P. It starts with a P. Yeah, what? Peyton. Yes. There you go. Peyton manning. What did he win? He was another spa day with bobby lee colts Yes, and he was a quarterback. Yes. Yes, exactly. Well, that's NFL time with bobby lee I mean, I told you about what I did with gordy howe and stan mckita. No, what did he do? A threesome? No, you know, they are The football players that wouldn't be such a far-fetched idea gilbert. No, what are they? No, let's be quiet. Who are they? Yeah No

Gilbert look at me. I look at gordy howe and stan mckita. I'll be honest. I don't know, you know, they're hockey legends Wayne Gretzky's a hot yeah, but like in the 80s sweetie Stan mckita. No, they're from the um or 60s. Yeah. Oh like whale whale like russia usa. Maybe 70s. I don't know. Yeah, right But this is how can I just tell this is a true story and I'm embarrassed by it I got a commercial an ibm commercial It's my first one with joe pitka Okay, so I'm in a log cabin. I was a kid

I was maybe 27 or whatever. I'm in a log cabin and these two old men Had no lines They just sat with me while I said a couple of things and that was this thing but during the day I remember going hey, dude. Go get me a coke Like to the old man. Oh, you mean to the legend that you thought it was a pa? No, he was just in the thing. I thought it was an extra. Oh Egg dude, you know, can you be quiet? I'm talking to oh my god, like that kid, right? How are you 27 at the end of the thing they said, what was it like? Well, look working with the legends

How come what legends the director you mean? I think I know those two and I felt it was gordy house damage. I felt like shit I felt like so you thought he was just a bitch boy. You just ordered. Yeah, I ordered them around. Did you turn gray? No, I didn't turn gray In fact, I probably didn't feel guilt until maybe later He didn't have those tools in his life. I have my tools in my life. Yeah, he didn't know how to feel remorse. I've done a lot of stuff Like that where I don't know who else like other celebrities. I'll tell I'll tell you So he was mostly sociopathic until he turned 30. I was at Maria Munoz

Maria Munoz. You knew that is the mjb host. I love her She's not an mc. She's on E. She was like, no, it's real entertainment. She used to real world something, right? I did a movie with marina munoz What movie it was called kicking at old school. It was jay b kennedy Yeah, but marina munoz was the lead girl in it, right? It was me michael rosenbaum Um, um, jay b kennedy and um, it was a break dancing movie. So oh, yeah Yeah, so we spent months in canada doing it's a shitty movie, right? And I met marina and then she invited me to her christmas party, right?

And i'm there and I knew jay me. He was there, you know, and there were people that I recognized or whatever I kind of kept myself to myself like in the corner of this party And there was a nerd a full blown fucking nerd next to me Like he was just there and he goes, hey, I've seen your comedy before you and I go, oh, yeah And then he goes, what's you know, how's it going? I go and I literally went on a 30 minute Dial, like I just talked to myself about how touring was hard, but i'm drawing It's so gross. Jesus. You're basically bragging about yourself. I'm pretty bragging. Yeah. Yeah, you know, I'm selling out 200 cedars or whatever You know what I mean? Oh my god. And and then I didn't even ask his name

And then after we were all done Like 30 minutes, I go, hey, what's your name? He goes, josh grobin And I go, oh shit, it didn't even dawn on me who that was until the drive home And I googled it And then it was the guy And I felt shame because he sells out like 20,000. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 30,000. No, I know. I know. I fucking baby But you were fucking know that you were bragging about 200 cedars. Yeah. Oh my god. My hot comedy hot comedy club Have you been to north hollywood?

My arm just started sweating for you. And so that was a shameful moment. That's me wool, babe Oh, I've done it a lot. I did it. I will tell you another one. Okay I was like a presenter at like the billboard awards or whatever. That's a big deal And that wasn't because it would they had cast all of mad tv to do it. Not a big deal. Yeah, it's not so it was like I don't forget what year it was, but we did it. Okay And I was talking to this really old man And he go he told me he goes he liked mad tv And this old man go and he said

And he goes, I'm a fan of yours young man. He was an old man I go, yeah, I was like kind of being you know, because I had busy. I was busy I go, which what's your name? And he told me and then I didn't even know who it was Into like days later. Somebody goes, what was it like talking to beat rose? Oh my god, man What is this? Who is he? Is he like a manager or something? Is he a manager? He goes, no, he's a baseball Uh-huh legend. He's still banned though. Yeah, so I'm just I'm retarded. I'm retarded in that way Is he still banned? I don't know. No people probably hate me

No, no, no. These are all two things that I've done. I've made mistakes. You know what when you I When you're Introduced an older guy they all all sort of started look the same. I'm sorry. They really do even my dad My memory of my dad because he was in his late 70s when he died I see him in every old man that I meet every time I meet an old person My my eyes start to well up and I always tell us to my sister. Oh, he reminds me of papa Every single old person because they all start to look the same So you're forgiven for Pete rose and then we went, you know, did we talk about we haven't talked about you coming to phoenix

We were in phoenix this week. Oh, yeah, we took a road trip to Gilbert, Arizona to see my parents Oh, did you guys fucking your old bedroom? No, we didn't could I just tell you this though? All right This is what happens. We wake up. We show up at four in the morning. Okay, so I told my mom to put the key underneath the You know, I mean the mat So then we go in we're trying to be quiet And then my dad just shows up. I don't know. My dad had a stroke He looks like a fucking turtle. He's he's wheeled. He's mostly wheelchair bound Like sometimes he gets up and takes a few steps

But when we arrived in like the darkness you just see this like silhouette of somebody just standing there It was kind of scary I've never understood a word he said after I couldn't understand him before Growing up. I never understood him So this is what he sounds like goes like that And then you kind of have to go. Yeah dad I think if you just write on I think you have to

He's so impatient. He doesn't like to like mouth read or like try to decode He just nods and nods and nods. I'll just agree with and then he'll make up his own Like what he thinks his dad said and you can tell like his dad just like that's not what the fuck He just said you're pretty Kalila She's ugly So then I go, you know, I might as well wake up mom because you're up I go into my parents bedroom and guess what I see I don't want to I see

My mom's vagina and her tip. She sleeps naked She gets up and I look like spongebob square pants like I sort of got I just see yellow square You know what I mean? Like I I don't know what it is or what I'm saying, right? And it's just coming up from the bed and I'm like, oh, no, you know, I mean what you do when you see For my mom's 70. Yeah, right. So that's not a fresh pie. She's sort of still a fox though Come on. Come on. I'm being serious with her. Her skin is still really nice for a 70 year old woman. Yeah She's right. She's still pretty foxy and definite very dateable. She was very pretty when yeah, I saw some pictures

Oh, very cute. She was very pretty when we're growing up, but um Um, yeah, so then we then my parents are probably 105 degrees inside the house. I mean upstairs. It was like A fucking sauna. No ac or they're just trying to save money. No, they they're so cold because when older people get older they lose their like Regulatory mechanisms to like regulate their um body temperature And so old people get cold a lot faster So that's why they blast the heater in the house, but the heat rises So we're upstairs, right and they sleep downstairs and it's like a full blown sauna full blown sauna

I couldn't sleep. In fact, I didn't sleep the whole time. I was there You know, it was just the bed is just so uncomfortable. Not only did we not do anything sexually We actually slept in separate rooms because it was so hot that we we couldn't even like sleep next to each other It was just miserable absolutely miserable and it's like I mean, I love my parents and I love being in that house, but then it's like You know, like what am I, you know, what's the point? What do you mean? What's I mean? I want to spend time spending time I'm seeing them, but it's like once you see them for a couple of days. What is it?

What's me staying two extra days going to do? Right and there's there's a part of them too. They they enjoy his mom was telling me that She enjoys it because she has family in San Diego, right? But they're choosing to live in Arizona because it's so no one bothers them and she goes This is the happiest. This is the happiest I've ever been in my life. My son Sends a check every month. I don't have to work. All I have to do is take care of his dad And I'm free to do whatever I want now. She's take she wants to go back to college take classes Yeah, so she's very active. So she's like look, I have no worries in my mind at all

No people to bother me. No one I don't have friends here and I feel like my life is good because of that I'm like isolated. I can do whatever the fuck I want. Yeah, and I don't even spend send them that much money a month I just spend that send them a little bit, right? Enough so for them to survive and get extra shit, right? But not crazy money, you know, I mean And it's like I went to the Verizon store. I got my mom a note Phone a new phone. She was stoked on it. She's how to use it. I spent five hours Teaching her how to use it. Oh, and then we get show up. She goes I she goes remember I tried to find a song

Oh, yeah, I got what? That I saw I tried so This is what happened. She she's like, you know, I have this song in my head. She was telling me first She's like, I have this song in my head that I I can't find She's like I the only descriptors that she gave me for the song was he has like the the words maria in it And that's all I remember and she goes and she goes and tennis and tennis and tennis and I was like, what do you mean tennis? She goes someone was playing tennis But then I was like, okay, so I literally googled every song with the lyric maria in it everything from ricky martin to to

Santana to blondie to everything and I made her listen. She goes. No, that's not it. No, that's not it I did it for two hours because I'm like, I'm like, okay. Okay. Okay. We're gonna find it We're gonna find it right and then I went to I went to sleep earlier And bobby goes back down and he's talking to his mom and what does she do sweetie? And then I and she she tells me she tells me I try to find song. I don't know collect right I go, what is it maria? The song's called maria. Okay. I googled like she did right santan all that stuff, right? Probably an hour of listening to every fucking song with maria in it and because she kept saying I need to know

I'm gonna go crazy. She can't sleep. She says. Yeah, I'm not sleep if I don't know, right? So, okay, I'm gonna do it and then she says this to male singer this book guy and then she said they're europe I go what she goes. I think they're europe first name start with s second name, I don't know So I go, you know what I'm gonna look up musical duos with the first name s the only one I could find seals and croft So then I go to itunes and I sample like the top 10 songs No No

No But then she kept saying tennis They tennis they play tennis Exactly, right? So then what I said it was you know what? I'm just gonna fucking google tennis players. No, not just players But any music video revolving tennis

That was ridiculous. Well, this is the only way like process of elimination, right? So we go through one song. It's not then I go through lord song. This is tennis. Yeah, right that it's not it But then like the ninth thing Is I do see a video thing of like two guys playing tennis But it's a music video. I play it, right? And the beat starts she goes oh, maybe And it keeps going she goes I think right, right and then you know, and then You there's no marina

You there's no maria in the song. Yeah. Yeah, it's hello. You know what song it is It's martin soul. They said I just came to say hello. Oh my so she thought maria It's a fucking hello was maria She heard wrong. She put us through this entire like she goes the way she was singing it. I went to say maria That's how she memorized the song maria She I mean, I can't we I can't even begin to tell you Gilbert how insistent upon the fact that she was so insistent that it had maria She goes I am 100 sure maria is is the main lyric in the song. So I screamed at her

I go what the fuck? There's no maria. You know what I mean? And she's just laughing like on the ground like belly laughing He runs upstairs wakes me up. I wake her up and he because he's like furious and excited and excited And then she goes he goes, you know what fucking song it is because it's martin soul big and I was like, oh My goodness. I racked my brain. Yeah for like two hours And that's just and then and then before we left she goes. I have a there's this story It's about a prince from me from the united states. He go to england to become a king I need to know this story and I was a king Ralph

You know the movie like with um, what's his name? John Goodman. Yeah, and then the whole time as I was helping her um set up her new phone She kept trying. She kept telling me like we have to find it or else. I can't sleep tonight. So there I was again For two fucking hours. I went through every mark twain book. I went through the prince and the popper I went through king Ralph I went to this other book by some other person and it was called like headlong Every story and she was like, no, no, that's not it. That's not it. And then she goes, maybe maybe when you're home You can you can find out and you can text me

And I still don't know what it is. It's she says it's a young prince From from the unite from the united states. She goes it's new york But everybody like everyone like the air of everyone died in england So they had to bring him over and like be the the reigning prince of england comedy or drama. Do we know that? I don't even know it might be some korean soap opera It doesn't exist. But she was first. She was so sure it was mark twain But after the whole maria martin solvig, I'm pretty sure it's not mark twain The closest thing would be the prince and the popper or like the story of like king Ralph

What's that movie kate leopold? What is that? It might be I I fuck I don't know at this point I'm stumped so anybody who's listening if you know that that plot or it's it sounds familiar to you Write us. Let us know and bobby's hiding a full-time researcher for his mother Really if you can move to air but that was pretty awesome though that he found that song Because I would have never found like he literally entered tennis And music video. I wish I saw the video you yelling at your mom and her laughing

Yeah, I was I was living like it because it was like a two-hour event of like sheer Investigating because I want to help my mom. Yeah, I wanted to go to sleep You know, yeah, and then it's like but that's it then you then you look back at your life And that's what it is You know, I mean it's like remember she was telling Kalyla about how she used to find Mirrors and straws for my Matthews You know what I mean and like marijuana and then she would go. What is these?

That's it's for science class And she would go, okay Should we because we did a little um a quick little podcast with your mom in Arizona, but we don't um We realized like an hour into it that we were like, oh, we understand her But most people probably can't so we got a we did an hour up pocket and also a lot of it's not funny A lot of it's really sad. It is very depressing. She talks about like Her dead mom, you know, her sister. She she witnessed her sister die the car, right? Got hit by a car. Yeah by military and she also started crying about her sister that just passed away last year

It was just so we just got to like we got to keep that for obviously like for us We'll just edit it and if you guys want to yeah, because I thought that was a little bit too personal I was like, yeah, we shouldn't put that out because like she literally cried, you know, and it was really like Have you seen your mom cry a lot before? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Um, but I mean not growing up, but like as you know when old people get I mean when people get older My dad cries and you just like why do they do that? Is he they cry a lot like remember like last year he listened to Eric Clapton and he started to cry

Emotional he hates music. That's weird. Yeah, and he put it on my mom put it on And she literally just started crying. He goes, you beautiful With tears it's like what would this guy used to beat me with fucking golf clubs like I bruises Like he took remember he came in naked. Oh, and then we talked about that you talk about the Korean kite No, we talked about we did we did about why They put tissue between the butt cheeks. Okay. We let's not ruin it So what I think we're gonna do is we're going to chop up the video of your mom and we'll put it She does it. Well, she does it too. Yes. I know, but we'll add that um, the in leakage

That's what she says. That's the one answer. Yeah, she leek. You don't know. I go. I don't want to know No We'll add the interview at the end of maybe this episode or maybe it's like The next episode at the end of this one. Yeah, we'll do it at the end of this one. Yeah, because it's basically Yeah But his mom's very funny. Like she is the most comical lady you'll ever meet She's like my fate my two idols are hillary clinton and judge judy What she loves judge judy every like she just the only thing in her dvr is just all judge judy and hoarders hoarders

Oh interesting and she says I I think I could be harder Is she does she she's just tendency she says she can't throw shit away And then now she's beginning to like pull shit into the house like she finds on the side of the street Which is like borderline horror If it ever gets to that I'm shutting the fucking I'm shutting it down. You're shutting down the operation. I'm shutting down the operation I will get fucking specialist. I cannot do it So on our way to um our road trip to arizona, we did a couple fun things first. We did the usual stop at love's

Um gas station at the coaxella valley. It's just uh, it's like a travel. Um, it's like a travel like pit stop It's like one of those ta's. What's ta the uh travel center or whatever. Yeah, I know what you're talking about Yeah, and so um bobby decided that it was a good idea to buy canes Like at the end of the canes it's like cobras and so we bought some walking canes We walked some fucking gold walking canes and I bought a cowboy hat a cowboy hat and a hundred dollars worth of scratchers Yeah scratchers and we only won like 35 dollars back But on our way there

The whole way there and back we listened to this one podcast called sword and scale. Have you heard of it? Oh my god. I gotta talk. Oh my god. Let me tell you something dude. Okay You see in cnn these gigantic like, you know, you see headline global news, you know, pares or You know, San Bernardino, you know, ices. Yeah ices, you know, but there are like pockets of crazy shit that goes on There are like, you know regional headline news, right? And we there's a fucking guy that in this fucking podcast that podcast That is probably the worst. He's worse than hitler. So each podcast um, each podcast is Um, each podcast highlights like, um, a certain murder

Sometimes they'll have like two podcasts back to back about let's say for instance, like Ted Bundy is one episode The next one is Elliott Roger the guy who shot up. Um, Isla Vista And then the next one will be another serial killer, right? So it's like it each episode is dedicated to a different type of crime and whatever a different type of like, um, you know Psychopathy or whatever But the one there was actually two that was really intriguing but the one that really made me angry and I fucking hate this motherfucker His name is luka mug

Magnata luka magnata. Okay dude You know who he is. No, please tell me. All right. So he's Okay, guy, that's fine. He's gay. That's fine, right? But I'm not just I just want because I don't want people to think that I'm I'm being homophobic or I'm bashing him And it's like being gay isn't one of those things where it's like, you know, it's it's a part of the the I don't know what it is I how do we explain it?

I think what you're trying to say is that him being gay didn't make him a murderer Right, but his life experience because he was gay or maybe the hardships that he he went through because of being gay Might have the filter of being gay led to the twisted things You know, it's hard to really explain But it's like it just made it a little bit more like creepier for some reason Okay, and maybe if that's homophobic it is. All right, but that's the I don't think that's homophobic to say because gay people Do have it difficult. Let's hear what he did. It's difficult. Oh, I'll tell you what he did. Um, okay, um, you tell the story I'm gonna go here real quick. All right, so he

you know, he his First and foremost thing in life is to be famous Canadian his goal his goal, right? So then he he got into male modeling, right? And he constantly had plastic surgery Fixing things things that aren't even wrong with them. You know, like he wants to shave down these two horns on his Forehead a bone, but you can't see it. Yeah, but he goes they're there, you know, and then he would audition for You know, I mean reality shows But then he did gay porn

So he did gay porn and then he became an escort, right male escort male escort But on the side he would model and try to you know Do anything he could to get on things, you know, man like even probably like real acting shit or whatever, right? but through time He couldn't do it. He has no talent, right? But he wants to be famous

So in all of his interviews to you any time he auditioned for a reality show he always Catered to what they wanted him to be like he was And because they showed or they they They ran the audio of some of the auditions that he went to and you could tell that this guy was a thousand percent Narcissistic Everything was about his appearance and his want for fame and to be recognized

Like it was very evident in all of his like audios So then he saw something It was called what was it that what was it called? It was an ass at an x-pick, but it was those um There was a video of these kids It was so there was this video, I guess that surfaced from eastern europe or some I think it was like hungry or some place there of these kids Um with it wasn't an ice pick It was a jackhammer or a hammer or something. They would they would kill innocent people

On tape and put it on youtube or whatever. What the fuck What they just kill people. Yeah, like real people. They did like a bunch of people. They're arrested now Oh, but it became like a thing where it was like for people that were into like snuff films It was like three guys one ax or something. Yeah, something like that So he watched that and he posted that like he would repost it on his youtube channels or whatever But then he decided to do his own stuff, right? So the first thing he did was he took two kittens put him in a A plastic bag and he would he sucked

He vacuumed it out. He vacuumed the air out so that the kittens would suffocate And he posted that posted that on his youtube channel And he started to realize that did caught traction. Well, what happened was a group in the united states assembled Right to get this guy Because it's infuriating obviously which is which was ultimately a mistake because he realized that wow This can garner me some infamy people really care now people know want to know who I am

And he would do things like make fake accounts and leak his own name out So he would have to then he would leak his name out and some he his fake account would accuse Luke mcnaughta who he was and say hey, it might be this guy Luke mcnaughta and then Luke mcnaughta himself would be like Absolutely those charges are false And then he would actually go to a news like a news organization and do interviews like I just want to say that I'm luka mcnaughta And I'm being falsely accused like he was like that's how he yeah And so he was like someone is trying to like smear my name But he started becoming like infamous in that way, right? Yeah, and he started I think that whole

organization trying to Find out who this kitten killer was ultimately Almost I mean I hate to say it but did a disservice because he loved that attention And so he continued to take it one step further each video that he made so he made this video the final one right was called One icepick one guy or something. Yeah, like one icepick one man or something So what it basically did was he put an ad in the paper like I'm doing I'm doing a on a short film on craigslist I need somebody there's no money right, but I need somebody to Uh, there's gonna be no sex

But I need a male model to do this video with male whatever and then a Chinese exchange student 31 years old And let me just say this too. He was there to go to college And then on top of it He's from like a small town in china where his parents saved up, you know man to take just so his son could go To study in north america and study and make something of himself He was gay, you know, and so he answered the paper whatever the ad and and then people from he posted this video

where He ties this chinese guy up and there's reaction videos out there of people watching it And kids watched it Okay, what so they type so he ties this chinese dude up, right? And he basically I just I want to get too vivid but like He takes an icepick You know jabs his chest like 50 times 50 times and his all over his abdomen and so there's a gouge, right chops his head off chops his limbs off on on youtube

Right and he starts fucking the limbs So he makes the limbs like Yeah, he starts fucking the body That's a decapitated body. Yeah. Yeah, and he I think like he chopped it all up and then like sent it He actually mailed it to different places. Yeah like Montreal's Right and then this was all on video and he posted it on the internet and he was on the run after that Yeah, he posted it on the internet, right and people did reaction videos from england all over the world Which is really really ridiculous because the thing with that is that and the guy on sword and scale

Um actually mentioned it people don't realize that I mean they think it's just a video, right? Anything that we watch whether it's like the isis videos of someone getting beheaded or burned alive Burnt and then for instance this this video like that luke mcnaughta put out They don't realize that they're actually subjecting themselves to ptsd because you don't know That's not something normal for you to see and to know that that is in fact real and that isn't some type of like, you know movie set That is you don't know that your body actually and your mind doesn't want that And it rejects. Can you see stuff like that?

No, you can't like you ever go to like best score on dot com or whatever. I don't know that is Yeah, I mean I can I don't know why I watch the kid choke out another kid doing mma and the kid died from a rear neck of choke I felt sick to my stomach watching someone like I can watch people be The last one you actually the one you didn't you couldn't watch and you refused to was the one I watched it was the guy um getting burned Yeah, I can do that. I can do burn alive. Did you hear the screaming? Yeah, it's screaming, but you know what the crazy part about the headshot being chopped

I've seen a guy getting chainsawed in half Yeah, I've watched those videos between now that I know better and I'm telling you now because I'm sort of like don't wicked me I don't like to wink at you. I don't know. I wouldn't get Gilbert for some reason that makes sense though because I honestly I have um Sorry, I'm sorry. This guy's really weird I saw a guy get chainsawed and then he went Wink, what does that mean? What's the week me? Do you plan on killing him?

No, no, no, no. I don't know why I did that But check it out So, you know how the Chinese parents found out about it? They're suing no one call. No, no one called them One of their cousins saw it on the internet. Oh, fuck like with the you know, I mean Chinese man gets chopped and his name was this And you know, they're from a small village in China. I mean you can only imagine You can only imagine

And this guy I and you know what I'm more mad about the kittens. They caught him. Yeah, they did eventually. Yeah, like there was this like They sent Interpol like this memo out to Interpol all across Europe and they eventually caught him in I think Paris or German Germany. I think yeah, because he would like, you know, you know, he made contacts So, you know, I mean fuck but he was a very flamboyant guy in that sense where he would often like create this like false image of himself Like he had like a facebook page and he would actually photoshop himself like in a different country and like he would stand he would like stand next to like a Lamborghini that didn't belong to him and he'd be like, oh, yeah, you know, like check out my life now type thing He was like that type of like he wanted to be so much more than he actually was

And so he he fooled a lot of people to believe that he was in fact this like rich well to do You know fabulous man that was a jet-setter of some sort, you know Yeah, like if you were ever think of if if you were a serial killer, what your thing would be mine. Yeah I can't really feel sick. I don't know. Well, you don't you never think about it. I really don't think about killing Like you know, I don't think about either. But if I was one, you don't you just like to wicked me after you say I'm just saying yeah, yeah Well, you don't think about you ever think about that?

um I I try not to because I feel like um, like chop the fingers off because I honestly I feel sick. I feel like there are murderous genes in both sides of my family So I try to like not think or I try to suppress all of those Like images from my from my brain like I try to just never let it even come to the forefront of my thoughts Okay, if I had to yeah, yeah, yeah, it would be very much like the saw films like what like would play game Oh, you would say that oh like social experiment type. Yeah Yeah, what I would you know what I would do if there was like a guy that was like, you know, I hate macho dudes

They're super homophobic. You know what I would do is I would like kind of like the human centipede But what I would do is I would I would take Make, you know knock them out put them in like a surgery room Um, give them a vagina and titties and stuff So they wake up and they're tied to a bed, but now they have titties and a vagina What would be your serial killer name like like deep throat say for instance like was an infamous one deep throat was an infamous Serial killer, right? Yeah Dick pussy now you'd be like, I'm Bobby Lee

Yeah, and what I would do is I would just have a line of just dudes that wanted to fuck this, you know I mean and he would you be like, no Oh man, your mind is really fucked up. What? I feel like there's but they would go. Oh my god. I shouldn't have been homophobic and crazy or like that I'm gonna say you're giving ideas to some weirdos out there Someone's gonna. Don't do it. Don't do it. You will you would need to be a surgeon to do it two things Don't do that or hashtag that fanny If all it takes for them to kill someone is Bobby giving them ideas

It means that they're probably they're already fucked up and they're gonna do it whether or not they get it for most or someone else Yeah, do you ever see the human centipede the first one? Yeah, it's it's hard for me to watch. Why did the Japanese do kill himself? The one that had he was the he was the front. He's the front, right? Yeah, you're the front. He didn't want to defecate into someone's mouth. That's fine I'll say he was kind of a pussy. He was pooping in a girl's mouth like take it easy. Yeah, Bobby's dream come true I'm just saying the middle obviously is the worst like bro. You're getting your ass Is it the end the worst because you have to eat everyone's poop? Well, that is bad You get the sickest. I don't know you have to you have to do raw Asian poop though

What does that mean? Well, the the middle one has to take just unfiltered Asian poop from the asian dude. Oh, okay, but then like She eats his poop and along with her poop the the caboose gets but she acts as a filter Of the asian poop there's science behind this. Yeah, there's science for you Kalala, can you justify this in science? No the lady that likes poop pills No, I honestly think all of them would be dead within like 24 or 48 hours Not the front though. No, not the front guy. The front guy has it easy

He killed himself in the movie. Honestly, like that's my dream job right there To just like have my someone's mouth to my asshole all day. Oh, what I would that's all I want from you, sweetie So just lick it one fucking day, but you don't you refuse it your butthole, babe. That's fucking. I mean, I do everything I get a wax. I don't care. I'm not eating your butthole smells like roses I'm not doing it. I mean, you've accidentally done it before you never complain. Yeah, I've actually done it. Yeah So what what's what's the news for Gilbert? What news you talk to somebody today? No, I mean, it's not I'm just trying to get him signed I'm one trying to get him representation by who by man manager

Well, you don't like my manager. I'm waiting for you to finish it. You're just looking at me. No, I pitch you I'm so shocked about the guy getting tits in a vagina getting fucked by I feel bad for the guy Why it's it's just make believe I you know first of all, let me say this, all right. If you don't think about stuff like that, right? That doesn't make me weird. That doesn't make me weird. It's a little weird That you you never think about morbid or like macabre stuff like that. Of course. It just makes me feel sick Like I know but like like my my lab In view I have like these stories in my head when I go to sleep

Right before like like me getting vengeance on ices That's okay. Because I like you. Yeah, but the things I do. Yeah, but I feel like Gilbert just has a pure heart to the babies You have a pure American heart Why would you fucking babies don't have a choice? I'm totally kidding guys. I don't kill ices babies Retraction is this too dark this thing? No All right, except Gilbert just has like a very like he's he's soft about these kind of things, you know And I think you and I are just like demented a little bit Can you look at pictures of people in accidents where their bodies are all I'm fine with that that mutilated stuff doesn't

Oh and Benjamin, you know own Benjamin. Yeah, so I'm sitting there You know, I'm doing that thing with own Benjamin today and I don't you know, he's a comedian He was on anyway. It doesn't matter, but um on Benjamin. We're with a group of people Howie Mendoza Really quick. I think people are asking are you like best friends with Howie Mendoza? No, no I'm just doing something with him right now. I don't want to talk about it But anyway, I was sitting there with that and I was talking about the Yulin dog eating festival And then Owen goes, what's that? Yeah, I don't know what that is. You don't know what it is

Every year they have in China Yulin, China. They have a dog eating festival But what they do is They they capture dogs from like houses Or they like kidnap they kidnap they kidnap they take like pets from homes. Yeah, and they that's not cool Yeah, and they boil dogs alive Okay, and I showed Owen Benjamin a photo Okay, I didn't do it And he literally looked at me like what the fuck is wrong with you? He says to me

I want to say that like he gets really angry I get it now though because after listening to that podcast it makes sense because the guy says that You actually don't know you're subjecting yourself and other people to post-traumatic stress disorder Even by looking at a single image don't understand that no because think about it If something perturbs you to the point where you start having like images in your brain Everything that you absorb affects you one way or another positively negatively or neutral, right? If something Affects you and you know that that is in fact a reality if you're looking at a dog being boiled alive

And you know that that's a reality and now it's a part it's embedded into your brain like as a memory Like that that can cost someone some type of PTSD I think that but also I think that's the reason why nothing's ever done about it because more people don't know about it I think if you really see the reality of this the situation I think that it's it's an atrocity The most that that that festival I think so but guess what I've done I've only signed a petition and then that's it. I've done nothing else to help Well, you know, I'm just saying that I just think that it to to show awareness

So I don't think you just got to show people the extreme nature of it I mean you're right like I I do get it in that way like people don't know the severity of it And that's a bullshit thing too about the euland dog eating festivals They always say oh, it's a part of their tradition. It's like actually no, dude Like this is a very brand new thing that they're doing in China and China itself Actually, you should try to eat bok choy. You know what I mean and rice. That's fine Yeah, because I mean tofu. That's that's fucking protein. Here's what I think about eating eating dogs in general Look, if you live in the province, you don't have money

Happens in the Philippines. Look, yeah, it's it it it doesn't matter if you're a chicken, a hippo, a dog, a crocodile, whatever Meat is meat is meat, right? But you don't go out of your way to to to have this yearly festival of just skewering dogs and cats Just for the hell of it. Just I also you know what I've always been one of those guys that said for pretty much all my life that It's being you're being an animal racist if you eat cows, right? And but then you don't eat dogs, right? I always believe that I believe because I believe that it all animals are the same Which is you know in but you know what? It's America though. It's it's I it's also but you know, there is a certain connection

that you have with cats and dogs That a cow never let allows me to have that connection. Well, that's because it's they're bad. I don't want to far And therefore I want to eat you. That's not their fault. Yes, it is. That's human's fault. That's a message to all cows out there Like when you anthropomorphize, is that the word? I don't know. Yeah, when you anthropomorphize cats and dogs or you create them in like Characters, right that we learn to love and also they've been domesticated as

Either our helpers or our pets or long but who's to say if it had been reversed, right? You can't eat because cows are so fat That's not true. Like for instance, we've domesticated. We've chosen to domesticate cats and dogs yet We don't domesticate pigs pigs equally very smart if not smarter than dogs. Yeah, babe. Yeah And so it's like we if it had been reversed. So if we had chosen to domesticate pigs instead and then farmed Cats and dogs, how would you feel about that? No, because can I say this? I almost guarantee you this and I've never eaten a cat or a dog But I bet you money that you know of it doesn't it doesn't it doesn't top bacon

How do you know that I just pretty much know that a cat doesn't top bacon Some people think like turtle soup is the fucking best thing they've ever tasted in their life. Those people are called white rednecks Yeah, what about people the Chinese that eat a shark fin soup? No, see the shark fin soup thing is very very wasteful because they they basically like pull the shark up to yeah No, no, no, they and then they remove the fin and then they leave the shark out there to die they don't even use the byproduct of of shark because shark is not as like lucrative of Of like fish meat because it's usually like higher and like mercury and things like that If you bred the dog specifically specifically for eating is one thing

But to steal them from like it's as almost as if Them stealing my cats and then eating them. I just think that that don't do that Those are my fucking cats. No, just don't kill his cats. Don't kill his cats I mean just don't if you're gonna have a cat eating festival Just don't come to my house and steal my cats because I'm going to be fucking furious And then I'm going to turn your fucking dick into a vagina and fuck it Oh, well you would fuck it. No, not me. I'll have a line Oh, but you're first in line. No, I'm not first in line. You're not in line at all. I want church to cover

I'll charge a cover You know what I mean, but I'm just saying that it's like in Peru They have a yearly cat eating festival. I don't like that. Yeah, either way, but they do And I it's culture or whatever. I just think it's wrong and that's fine And that and I might be wrong. I might be wrong in America. We have hamburger eating contests as we kill We're just this guy. You know what? Americans are equally as disgusting. Everyone is disgusting I think that we all have a supposed set of like moral standards and we all accuse people of like, you know

We all point fingers at each other, but it's like we're all fucking disgusting in one way or the other And it's like choose your fucking battles and what do you mean? If we all are it's like we all have something that other cultures are in complete Disagreement with like how we live like you mean example example like for instance, we go to parks We eat beef. We eat pork. We do all these things and you have someone A person who is hindu in india who thinks it's an absolute abomination What that we even do that why though because they they Revere certain types of animals and like for instance cow. They worship the cow. Yeah, they worship cows

They worship like elephants. They worship like Okay, this is what I'm saying. It's like you're my hindu. Don't look angry at don't be angry at me Everything you do is going to offend someone now the whole eulen eating dog They mean that whole festival thing the reason I I disagree with it is because it's just unnecessary It's the same reason why I feel like some of the farming that we do here just en masse is unnecessary There's so many things that we don't do things for we should do things for need not for want Do you know what I mean? I think I we just I just have to become a vegetarian. Yeah What do we mean? Yeah, I'm pretty close. I tried it. No, no, shut the fuck up for I love you kalayla

Okay, but he just he had a fucking tone right now. Yeah, what yeah, I can't do it. Okay. You're gonna do it No, I'm just asking you I'm asking you when you said yeah He says you can't do it. They look at his eyes. You're saying that I can't do it. Yes. Yes Oh, that's what you're saying. Yeah, okay challenge him Gilbert Challenge you not to do it for one month. Don't eat meat for a month. Yeah, all right fish allowed because he will literally die from Rikki repoisoning he will eat so much sushi nothing just you said vegetarians are just only vegetables No, no, no, no, no because you can still legumes nuts, whatever chicken. Can you eat chicken? No Babe, come on. You're losing already. You can be vegetarian but only eat chicken

You're losing. No, but I'm just saying that like no chicken. No, nothing. You're basically Living by a plant no fish base. No, I try it's very hard and stupid. I want bacon. Give me pork Whoa, it's actually, you know, I mean, I got maybe how about the oh a month's crazy. Okay. Let's try one week a day Let's one day at a time. They try one day. Come on, sweetie. You can do better than that We'll have three just three three days three days. Okay starting when starting when not not not this week What you're all the fuck you always do this. I'm going to Fort Lauderdale. Exactly. That's the real test Can you do it while traveling? No, no, no, no, it has to be I'm not going to Fort Lauderdale So it has to be days where I can you know, you know, I'll do it. I'll do it in Fort Lauderdale. I have to see it

Oh, it's so much cabbage. Oh, yeah, I'll go to Fort Lauderdale. Just bacon hanging it out as well I can guarantee you after this podcast. He's gonna ask to go to canters and get the The beef and corned beef and cabbage there. I love it. I haven't had it there yet. I heard it's good That's all he asks for in life. You know what another thing I found that was We were listening to that podcast sword and scale. It was a different episode. I learned something I never Knew before and it blew my fucking mind. There was this guy. I don't know how true this is but he basically said that when if a woman were to have sex with multiple partners and in one night say for instance or Let's say in a day and a half. I sleep with like three different men

But I get impregnated by one man The the two different types of sperm from the two other men that I slept with There are things called like transposons that like sort of cross within each other So there's like almost like genetic exchange Somewhere in the process while the sperm is in my like canal and I can have My main traits are going to be that of one guy, but I can have traits of the two other guys as well Whoa, how it's so they call it mosaic sperm. I'm all about this. I had no fucking idea Like hybrid athletes. So yeah, I can get like I don't know LeBron. Like that's it LeBron James

No, but this is Tiger Woods LeBron James, right? My sperm for my so obviously, but that's a little bit hard because it's like 99.9% is going to be one guy But the point is it's like there is an intercross like there is an athlete, right? No, no, no out Tom Hardy Okay, if you could see Tom Hardy, right, but then back the back Okay, go ahead Okay, I would do Tom Hardy and who would be the mom Because you need a you need all who would be the mom to hold all the sperm So you need one mom and three you want to you and check check

Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah fighter. Oh, no. No. She's cute. She just has one bad eyebrow. No. No. No. She's not cute I think she's cute page van Sam Okay, so you want to be a fighter Jesus. I'll tell you why he needs a fighter. No, I don't need a no actress No model. Just listen you fuck for first fucks Okay, you fuck fucks Page van Sam, right Tom Hardy, but then the two backups because you went residual You had two more. Yeah, right is an athlete like LeBron James And then Cristiano Ronaldo, you know why you were just racist to yourself. Why there are no Asians in your sperm

You are Hollywood, sir You're a Hollywood casting director. Oh, so I'll hear what here's what we want to do then Um, y'all mean You want y'all mean so you can have hate that Basically, you hate yourself. You hate yourself. Well, he doesn't look like a mongoloid and you look like a fucking mongoloid and you do Y'all mean doesn't look like a mongoloid I mean you guys, I don't know. He's definitely going to catch me yellow Frankenstein. That's true. That's accurate

I think he just doesn't have expression in his face. No, he's a fucking gigantic Wait, you just said he doesn't have expression in his face. Who else doesn't have expression in their face Frankenstein? Okay, all right. All right. He's a mongoloid. He's a mongoloid. All right Anyway, so okay, that's another race. I'm just who would be your mother and who are the three guys Gilbert If you were to create a human. Oh, that's tough. Uh, mother, uh So it has to be someone pretty because you want the main trait. So like a model like uh, Giselle. Oh, you're shallow Okay, go ahead. But go ahead. You know, baby. Can you not judge our thing? Okay? Okay. I can't wait to hear hers Yeah, I can't wait to hear yours. You want Cedric the entertainer?

You want Yeah, yeah, you want singers, you know what you say yours. It's how shallow you are My mother. Okay. Mother probably like christianna. I'm in poor Jesus We don't know. Cool. That's fine. Yeah, and the three sperms that I want. Rosie O'Donnell. No No, that's a man, right? Rachel Maddow's sperm. Yeah, Rachel Maddow. Okay. The three sperm that I want is Anthony Bourdain Joe Rogan and Barack Obama, you better say Bobby Lee

I'm sorry. I just need I care for brains and Christina. I'm in poor as the mother Um, okay, maybe who's the main guy that has the main traits physical traits remember probably Probably oh, he's not tall enough. Christina probably Anthony Bourdain. You want that? I do. I love him. I don't care about fucking face Gilbert. I'm with Bobby. Do you think I care about that's pretty hurtful? I'm gonna say that. I'm sorry, baby You're so cute and sexy in different ways. Can we talk about Jessica's boyfriend? Absolutely not If you so much as talk, no, man, that's my friend. We're not by Jessica. We're talking about Jessica Alba. Yeah. Anyways, what else we got guys?

On helpful advice with Bobby and Kaila. Colin, can I read my The first and the helpful advice thing? Well, can I just read mine since you're looking for yours? Oh, yeah Yeah, go ahead. Hey tiger belly. I'm 19 years old and I recently wanted to reinvent myself because I got out of a serious Relationship I had for three years while I was in high school It made me realize I missed out on friendships and experiences. Now. I'm desperate to find new ones What do you recommend that I do and this guy's name is Clash. How does he 19? Wow He's young guide guide him after you just told this guy about killing people and shit

Don't reinvent yourself like Luke Mcnada, please. You can do better Go ahead, babe To me, that's too young to even having live questions because it's like What do you know at 19? No, that's exactly because he was 18. He probably got bullied. He was married now He's in college. What does he have to do to be a man? All I know is this about life It just gets better as you get older That's that's a lie. It does for you. Yes, because honestly, you've done it, right? You've always followed your heart. You've said fuck you to anybody else who said you couldn't do it one

Yeah, but that's because of all the suffering that I went through as a young person, right? So pain and suffering is vital Because it's either going to motivate you Or you're just going to live with that for the rest of your life and people can withstand a lot of spiritual pain People can grow up Like I know dudes that are like 50 Because I always wanted to stand up But never did it and so, you know when you're laying in bed for 50 years and you're thinking that

That's a lot of weight and pain and suffering, right? And then it's too late Right people can withstand a lot of pain I can't I'm a pussy I can't think about something like if I got to do it You know, so it's like this kid is 19 if you're suffering and you're you know, you're going through a hard time Or you don't know what you want to do for a living, right? The pain and suffering is good. It's going to motivate you and you're going to grow from it That's just my opinion. His question is that he had a girlfriend for three years. I didn't hear it. Sorry

Most of his teenage life So he thinks that he missed out on friendships. Yeah, let me tell you something to this guy Oh my god, between the ages of 16 and 19 is no fucking it doesn't matter in the big scheme of things anybody that I I don't know anybody right from that time period that I'm I mean I'll say hi to them like, you know, they sometimes they'll come to my shows from high school friends And I'll give them a hug and stuff, but they're not a part of my life Same with me. I used to think that even even up until I was 24 I'm like, okay, the friends I have at 24 are for sure going to be people that I know when I'm 30 and up, right?

And it's like actually no it changes you either you grow with people or you grow past them or they grow past you you You sometimes you just don't intersect at all like and and trust me when I say You you want to reinvent yourself at 19? No, you want to reinvent yourself when you are when you've had many more years under your belt 19 is you're still a baby. You haven't missed anything yet Also, could I just want to say this since I just had a day with them about how how? Howie Mandel, okay, let's just I just need to talk about it. Okay. Can I just talk about it? Yes Howie Mandel, so who was that Lila? Who is it Bobby? You know, you think I'm name dropping. I'm not no. I'm very excited to hear this

Are you being sarcastic right now? It's Howie Mandel. I love his prank show All right, but anyway this dude, right Had such a long career, but there was a time before deal deal with it deal What's it called dealer? No dealer. No, no, no, no. America's got no no deal with it No deal with dealer. No deal. The deal with it is another show called deal with it. Oh, yeah Deal no deal where um before that though. He was not doing well Right. In fact, he told me that his wife

They had offered him deal with no deal a couple of times. He said no, but his wife made him do it Which put him back on the map which got him, you know, all sorts of shows all sorts of shows Okay, and now he's back, right? But it's like But what I'm saying is is that in life you go through these like ups and downs and sideways and you know what I mean And he thought about moving back to Canada. He said, right? So what I'm saying is to anyone that's 19 It's like you're gonna live A whole life and you're gonna experience ups and downs and you know and all these things

And just as long as you're taking risks and you're following your heart. I think it's you're gonna be fine You know, that's all I'm saying. Yeah, I'm just trying to be optimistic after like all this fucking serial killer shit Yeah, yeah, no need to be Madonna and reinvented 19. It's you're you're still coming up with one true identity and you haven't even gotten there yet I haven't there's another question for you. Bobby. Yeah, okay. This is the second question for unhelpful advice Dear Bobby a little now listen. Okay, Bobby. I'm listening though. Dear Bobby a little background story I'm 21 in a stable two-year relationship with a sweet supportive girl And I work for a beer distributor for 40 plus hours a week

I play my games watch my tv shows get out for the gym five times a week But for the last year I've felt really Emotionless like nothing is stimulating to me in any way Sometimes I feel really down on myself because I have dreams and goals But always have the same excuse for myself that I'm too busy and don't have the time So my question is honestly, how do you cope when you have people around you that care? But you still feel so alone It's perspective p.s. Do you use one ply or two ply toilet paper?

It's personal sometimes. No It's perspective. It's how you see it You know, it's like in AA. There's a term that say they say it's a new pair of glasses where you Just put on a new pair of glasses a new perspective on things and it's like You know, you know for me, it's like I can look at my life and look at it in a negative way You know, I can say I didn't get this I didn't do that. I should be further along I should be maybe whatever it might be but the end of the day and the truth is and I might change my mind tomorrow But I believe this now is is that I'm really fucking lucky. We all are

Just to do like what we're doing right now talking on in a Mike just saying fucking ran, you know, whatever, you know, and it's fun You know, I I I behave I live like a king You know, and it's like You know, and I could look at it in a negative way and I have in the past, but I'm not right now. I I'm really totally 100 happy Without where I'm at and it's just the way I'm looking at it So that's it

So Do you think that He's looking there's a do you think that this guy who's you see who says that everything in his life seems to be in place He's got a roof over his head. He's got a good girlfriend. He's got a good job. He goes to the gym Yeah, he does he lives a normal life. Somehow he feels numb and he he doesn't he can't Feel the joy from I said the same exact thing to Joe Rogan about six months ago. I'm not kidding You know what he said? Look at your life like you're living in a movie

Like everything is a movie And then you're fine You know, and I didn't get what he was saying, but then it's like I kind of do get what he's saying, you know that Like that everyone is you know, I mean you're just living this, you know, I mean cool movie Or you know what? There's a possibility that this kid is depressed because that's honestly how depression feels for everything to go Right in your life and still not feel Joy, I'm a Scientologist. I don't believe in that Just you need to extricate your body fatins is what bobby is saying. Yes. So you need to um

Oh, here's the last thing I want to say about body thing or whatever because it just brought me up star wars. Oh, yes I really believe that movie is not going to be good. Yeah, give us your prediction actually go ahead So that's all my predictions. Yeah, go ahead because there's no reviews When you when the dark night was coming out, right? I saw this in the movie theater They had in the front lobby. This is two months before the dark night came out They had a review of the new york times on a gigantic fucking board that you could just walk and read it I saw that. Yeah, right and you read it and you're like, oh, I'm gonna watch this fucking movie

It was literally like, you know, I mean every line like this movie You mean from top to bottom, you know, me is a masterpiece Right and it was from like a really credible who it was but a credible film critic, right? They did the same with um mad max max. Yeah, you got a 98 percent around tomatoes. It was You know, I mean it had all these and it only helps the movie Yeah, right out the gate. It was like one great review after the next. Yeah, and it made you excited I mean as an adult you don't get excited, but I was super excited Let me understand this you're saying that the reason you you don't think it's going to be good is because

Because they haven't shown it to anybody because they're they're fearful of their reviews or the early reviews Yes, I mean, I think that people are going to watch die hard is going to watch it anyway, but it's like If it got 60 percent around tomatoes, it's not going to help the business Right, it's going to make people go it's the difference between should we wait in line? Should we buy tickets before making an event or 60 percent? No I mean, let's just stay home. You know, I mean, I mean, there's a lot of that Here's another clue that you might be right The comedy sisters comes out the same exact weekend

Like why would you even so much as like compete with star wars if you didn't already? Because because this is a proven fact, right? Like for instance when mad max came out I guess who did better than mad max who pitch perfect to Other smartest did better numbers than mad max. You know why perfect like jennifer aniston No, why not? Not pitch perfect. Oh, um, perfect. You were talking about the singing one the dancing. Yeah, I thought picture perfect Yeah, yeah And you're right. You're right. You're right. And a kenjer and you always when it with an action sci-fi thing you always counter it with a

A something like that email comedy, you know, I mean that girls are gonna want to watch you're right because I did read an article That explained just that where they were like, yeah, not everyone is a star wars fan But people want to be out in the movies that weekend. So here's another option for that. Right. Yeah, so it's like But I don't think it's going to be good. You might be honest something george lucas gave a backhanded compliment I know what was that? Well, what did he say? He watched and he said? Yeah, I saw the movie. It was good. Um, the fans will like it Oh, no, the fans. He didn't say he liked it. George Lucas who released, you know, the worst one ever One two three with the fuck man

But like, I'm you know, so I mean, I'm gonna watch it obviously because I just I'm just curious about it But you know what I cannot get fucking raped like I did with the phantom menace The phantom menace was a spiritual rape at my bottom. I just don't I can't envision Then JJ Abrams dropping the ball because it's like he did star trek like how can he possibly drop the ball the caliber of talent? He has in it, you know, I mean is in amazing Right, not only is he have like the old characters coming back, but he's got, you know, oscar isek I mean these people that gives young actors are amazing actors and it's um The trailers look, you know, enticing. I like the trailer. I do too. But look at the inner but look at the international trailer

You should there's a lot of problems. Oh, that's another thing. Did you see the chinese poster for star wars? No So look at the john. Yeah, they took out the black guy. No, they didn't just take him out They zoomed in so that he just got cropped out. Oh They just don't They don't give a fuck. They're not even discreet about it. They eat dogs. They eat dogs. They eat dogs. They eat cats Yeah Anyway, um, that was a good podcast. Why don't you ask everyone to subscribe? Sweetie if they haven't already if you haven't subscribed uh subscribed

Um, subscribe cool and tell your friends about it. You know what? Let me just say this, okay? I'm not worried about the numbers on this thing Anymore I'm just gonna do it and we're just doing it. It's a ritual. You know Monday ritual come if you want don't I don't give a fuck You know, but please subscribe. Please. Yeah, please We beg you. We don't go fuck, but please subscribe. Well, it's like, you know what why but do I ask We're not just reminding people. You know, we'll remind you listen. They don't subscribe. So we don't they listen, but they don't subscribe Yeah, yeah, do it. No, it feels good. I mean if it does write a review do it, you know, it's like like but

You know, and if you hate it, don't write a review Gee is like why take the time to even bother but also there's that one guy that wrote like a four page review about his love for bobby Really like I think my favorite I stopped reading reviews because I just I but there was one guy who had It's the same guy. I think it was like four pages worth of I love bobby But then an entire paragraph dedicated to my eyebrows. Yeah Murder. Yeah, I he made me so happy and sir if you're listening your review is the best one I've ever read in my life Um What else we got Gilbert. So let me ask you the show dates any bobby Lee show dates

Do you want to see him live? Let me see. Let me see. Oh, yes. Okay. So January 7th through the 9th Bobby will be in Edmonton, Canada at the comic strip. Will you be there? Let's see if you're gonna be there. Well, here's a thing you guys if you're there He because this particular club is inside a mall It's one of those like giant malls in the middle of nowhere and like everything is in at the hotel is in the mall Oh, super. It's like a super mall. Okay. It's like a mall of america because I think like Edmonton like a lot It's mostly like I think they just they do a lot of oil and stuff there So it's like I think it's a really rich city actually Arabs

Um, and I think they have a really cool festival there like in the summer time the cat one Which one's that will you eat cats? Oh, no, man Canadians don't do that Okay, so 7th through 9th. Bobby will be in Edmonton, Canada. Will you be there? Um, okay, that's the thing I was getting to he wants me to because he says he gets really bored But I just don't I don't know like I'm not going to Fort Lauderdale this weekend Um, but you're disappointing a lot of tiger belly fans that are there for the whole package I don't think we have that many in florida. So we're fine. Um, so yes actually, let me let me

Go back a little bobby will be at the Fort Lauderdale improv this thursday through saturday And then january 7th through 9th Edmonton at the comic strip Um, he will be at the Irvine improv january 15th through the 17th and gilbert will be hosting all the shows that weekend And so all three of us will be there. So come see us come don't be afraid like come see us and take pictures And also there's a very good chance that he might bomb. So it's like look out of five shows. That's a high possibility You know, it's it's you know, there's still that chance. So come see gilbert still possibly bomb chance of life failure guys And um january 21st to the 23rd bobby will be at hilarities in cleveland, ohio. That's all I got for now. Please um

subscribe to us on itunes find us on instagram at tiger belly on twitter At the tiger belly and email us all your questions to the tiger belly at gmail.com And we will see you guys next week. Thank you. Bye Hey prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey