TigerBelly - Episode 205: A Time for Love, Hate, & Betrayal

Episode Date: July 31, 2019

Bobo has never done multiples. Khaloko & Gilbo take a test. We talk MRSA boils, of Montreal, Blake Giffin, old notes, and a jizz hole. Khalyla calls her troll, only at: www.patreon.com/tigerbelly Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. Five, four, three, two, one. Nighttime moves, guys. Nighttime moves. Can you get the cat out? Hey Bryce, can you get the cat out? Start over, I can't even. No, don't do it violently. Why'd you do it so violently? He's your buddy. I've never seen Bryce so passive before. That was fucking aggressive, dude. Start again. Five, four, three, two. Welcome to the episode of Tiger Belly. I'm your captain and the guy behind the guy. And the guy that I'm behind is not here. So I'm in front, which is George.

George is camping and I felt, I love the guy, but I felt a really, a little nice absence, you know, Namaste. Namaste, yeah. What's up, babe? What are you looking at me like that? Namaste? No, she's very Namaste. I'm Namaste all fucking day. My jaws can't move. She can't move, her cheeks are fucking bloated.

Your cheeks look very slim today. They actually have never been more bloated, but thank you. I have my TMJ is in full blast right now. And every time I ask him to massage my face, he won't do it. Yeah, because we'll talk about that later, but we will talk about that. We'll address it. I will massage your cheeks if you want me to. I love it. But I'm not washing my hands.

Linda down the street to massage my cheek. I will massage your cheeks as long as I can keep my hands the way they are. Every time he massages my calf, I get a pimple on my calf. That's what I'm saying. He wants to leave his mark. Thank you. It's like branding. Branding, yeah. Yeah.

I love you, pimple. Thank you. I love you, pimple. I get a MRSA boil. It's not a pimple. It's like a fucking MRSA boil. Yeah. I had someone love me that much. Right. You want a MRSA boil? Nope.

Give him a MRSA boil, babe. You want a boil, dude, on your head? Just from your hand? Yeah. All right. Just let me know, dude. They're free for you today. Magic fingertips. So I got in really big trouble and something happened Friday, so I have to talk about it.

I also feel like I feel partly to blame because I didn't know your schedule and no one told me. It's kind of your fault. It's actually none of my fault. I know it's not. I was going to carry some of it to make you feel better, but... So what happens is... Take it back.

So I'm working on a special with Al Magigal and his company, All Things Comedy. Tiger Belly is also a part of All Things Comedy, and I love the company. I love Al. I love Bill Burr. I love everyone involved, and my buddy Mike over there. It's great. But what happened was they said, we want you to do a show in the belly room Friday night and we'll sell tickets so we can see your hour.

He can run his hour. So I can run my hour. So J. David, not J. David, J. Larson showed up. Eric Griffin showed up. Will showed up. Al Magigal showed up. Everyone showed up. Except I didn't show up.

And the reason why I didn't show up was because my cousin, Chung A, has a husband by the name of E.J. White Dude. Yeah. I love E.J. Dude. Oh, E.J. is White? You didn't know he was?

It was like a Korean cousin. No, no, no. E.J. is White as fuck. Oh, okay. And E.J. got this movie off the ground, right? So he got me, Al Magigal's in the movie, Eric Griffin's in the movie, Marilyn Rice Cub, Sean Aston's the star from He's a Hobbit. Yeah.

But he doesn't play a Hobbit in this movie, babe. But he still looks like one to me. Okay. And that's the most important thing. And I saw him Friday. Exciting. Yeah. Yeah.

Were you starstruck? No, because I've met, you know, my travels has run me into all the other Hobbits. I know, but Lord of the Rings is your favorite. You've met all of them? Really? No, I've met Elijah. Yeah, the big, I'd one. Elijah would.

Elijah would. Oh, and Dominic Monaghan. So I did sketches with Dominic Monaghan on Matt TV, so I met him. I met Elijah Wood because he comes to the comedy store and then I met Sean Aston. So I just need... And you know what? He be... Pippin.

Sean Aston beat you out for that role as Bob in Stranger Things. Yeah, but he was going to get it in the first place. He was. Yeah. He was great in it, too. Okay. He could... Actually, you know what?

You could have been just as good. Come to think of it. Because he was a very lovable... Oh, really? Oh, that feels better, babe. Lovable, sweet guy. Thanks for giving me that, babe. Anyway, so I'm doing the movie Friday and it's like, you know, they call you when at

what? Two. Mm-hmm. And you go, okay, I have one really complicated scene. I was dreading it. It was like three pages of the most difficult lines I've ever had. And I think, okay, so, you know, in your head you go... So what ended up happening was seven o'clock went around and I'm still not shooting.

The show's at nine. And my show's at nine. Oh, fuck. Okay. And in my head I'm like, what the fuck do I do? I don't call the guys. I... Just in my head, I think.

I'm gonna make it. You believe? But I called the comedy store. Well, here's why I fucked up. So I had a show in that, you know, the show for me in the belly room, but I was also on the original stage, but I had called the store that day to cancel that. Even though that was later than... So Al found out that I...

He didn't tell me, but he found out that I had canceled that other show. So in his head, he thought, oh, he wasn't planning on showing up at all, right? And then he told us last second, that's not the case. The reason why I canceled as an emergency was because Adam Egett, the guy that runs the comedy store, if I canceled too late, he would have been fucking furious. So I just wanted to nip that in the... But my intentions were to go to the... Anyway, I shot at seven, eight, 40 comes around, 45, now it's eight, 50, and then I get wrapped,

and I look at my map quest. It says, I'm not gonna get to the comedy store until 9.30. The show's over at 9.45. I have to turn over the room. You still look at map quests? Yeah. Whatever that map thing, what is that map thing? Google maps, ways.

Whatever the... Whatever your iPhone... Don't make me... Apple maps, Apple maps, Apple maps. You guys, Bobby still prints out his directions. There's a printer. Maybe you know, I have a difficulty sometimes, you know... You still have the GPS that says, Lost Satellite Receptor.

Wow. Wow. You're on right now. Call back. You know, she's getting cocky because they did a... Somebody did like an Avengers, you know what I mean, poster of all the podcasters. A stranger thing. Whatever it might be.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. And I don't deserve it. I know. And I could see her move get picked up. Her mood was picked up a little bit that day. Really? No weekend.

I know, but you were like... The only time I felt better is when Linda massaged my jaw. Linda is my masseuse down the street. Okay. So anyway, I didn't show up. She thinks that by crushing a human skull, she can fix my pain. She does not do it. She fucked me up.

Anyways, go ahead. So I didn't show up. I called them and they did the show without me. So Al, Jay Lawson, Aragryph and Winnup, then they told the audience, that I wasn't showing up and apparently a Korean lady in the belly room was absolutely devastated. She goes, I can't hear four times to see him. I don't know what, but just assume they just said Asian lady. That's a good assumption.

And he never show up. Oh, she's been there four times. To see me, I guess just coincidentally. But you don't cancel that often. I do, though. I feel like every comic does, yeah. So, but I had a long conversation with Al and I fixed it today. So give me a congratulations guys.

Congratulations. And we're still on, but I can't fuck up again, he said. You can't fuck up. No, no, no. And next time, you need to tell me, you can't plan things without telling me because I can fix your schedule conflicts. That's my job. I know.

I just have a lot really kind of going on without even knowing it's going on. I know because you asked me on Thursday, the show was on Friday and you're like, what do I have going on tomorrow? I was like, nothing. Because you didn't tell me you were shooting a movie. Oh, yeah. You didn't know about the movie? I didn't know about it.

I didn't know about it. I didn't know about it. I didn't know about it. I thought that we were going to go sofa shopping. I was like, well, do you want to go to a Joneses because we can just stop for sofa? And he was like, wait, I think I have a movie to do. Yeah. I think I have a movie.

Like I don't know. I knew that Thursday night and I panicked. But my point is, is that this is the way I live my life and this is not a good thing. And I'm not anyone listening right now, do not do what I do. But my whole thing is with everything in life, it's just don't get involved. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Pretend it's not happening, right?

Do things at the last second. You'll figure it out. And it's worked up until this point. I could be bigger. Is the question, can Bobby Lee be a bigger name? Maybe I could have been way bigger. But he ain't dead. But I ain't dead.

Wow. That's the best right there. I just said, I just spoke in tongues when I went down out of excitement. I don't know why I co-signed with what you just said. And then let me ask you guys a question and I don't, I don't want to take it personally, but Neil Brennan pulls me up, pulls me aside Thursday night. And he said something that was meant as a compliment, but I took it, I just, I just been thinking about it the whole time since he said it.

And what he said to me was, you know, in your special, you should do stuff, you know, outside of the stage, fucking with people or this and that. I go, why? And he goes, because I've, I've met, probably met thousands and thousands and thousands of people in my life. You're just a really fucked up, weird dude, no one, no one out there is like you. I agree a thousand percent. And I know, but I looked down and I go, you're wrong.

I have traditional values and I'm a normal person. And he goes, no. And then all these other people, other people in, yeah, you're fucked up. You're weird. It's not even that you're weird. You know how you look at every one around you and you can tell like, oh, that's a prototype. Like I'm a prototype. They're a girl similar to me.

I'm a prototype. No, no, no. You ever see Karate Kid? You're an outlier. No, you are absolutely. Mr. Miyagi. I'm like him. Nope.

You're not of the 12 original human prototypes, babe. You were like a one created in 1930 that was discontinued because it just wasn't gonna do well in society. He just continued my model, oh man, not a popular. So that's what he was basically saying is your, your kind died a long time ago. Your kind died a long time ago. And since you were the last of your kind, you should do, what are you saying? He's saying that your kind still uses map quest.

Geez. All right. If you say this map quest thing again, roast master, right, you're just going to rip me apart, babe. Look at her face. I know. What is that called on iPhones? What you're using?

Apple Maps. Map quest, babe. Just keep saying it. Oh my. What's it called? Google Maps. Don't please don't tell him. I got damaged, Bryce.

Google Maps. I don't like you about Google Maps. And that's why Bryce is getting back into my world. There it is. He's talking shit about you behind your back. I know. I know. I know what these guys say.

What? I know what they say. And I'm onto them. And that's why I say what I say because he thinks that I don't know. I do know. I know everything. Yeah. I know what you say behind my back.

I know what you say behind my back. Yeah. I know the whole operation. And guess what? I don't hold any resentments. And I'm still in front. That's right. Okay.

You don't talk right now. Gilbert? Gilbert. You can see whatever you want. I'm kidding. Did you carry out the mic? Why is it so far away? Why so far away?

All right. You see, that's right in there. I want George to do this. Why is it so floppy? George. Okay. We're recording. We're recording right now.

That air, I don't know what you're doing. All you hear is that. Yeah. That's fine. Just say something in there. All right. Okay. Good.

I like you, Bobby. I'll get back up. And you'll say stuff when you need be. Yes, sir. Okay. All right. So tomorrow I'm going to the Montreal Comedy Festival for the first time. And people have heard of me talk about how I've never gone.

I've talked about it before, but I'm finally going. And there is, you know, in my mind for the last 20 years, this festival has been around. I've imagined what it might be like being there, especially as a younger comment. I'm going to do this. I'm going to hang out with this guy because it's one of those, it's the biggest comedy festival in the world. It's international. And, um, you know what, I think I hung out a long enough to, to, I think I took the longer

road to get there. Yeah. But, um, yeah, I'm not going to make call it. I'm just not going to be a negative experience for me. I'm going to go in there and, um, say hi to everybody. Do the best I can. I'm doing Andrew Santino's podcast in Montreal live with a guy named black shadow. I don't know his name.

Black shadow. Some guy. I'm no black. But I talked to Santino today. What do you say? What? How? And I said, you called him.

No. I called you for stuff. And so I was like, Hey, can you tell me exactly where your podcast is going to be? Cause I don't want Bobby to feign ignorance and not show up and be like, I didn't know. Yeah. Yeah. And it's actually at, um, the same place you're staying. So you can't miss it.

Okay. You can't miss the podcast because it's the, in the conference room of your hotel. It is. Yeah. And is the double tree a good hotel? It's like mid range, I think it's decent. Is it double? Have you stayed at a double tree?

It's not a five star. I know it's not. But where does like, where do like the big ones go? I don't know Montreal. It's okay. I just want to be around the kids, you know, so I'm doing two weeks out there and then I'm doing one week in Hawaii and our house is coming along too. So, um, this is a very, very, um, interesting time in our lives.

It's a time of growth. It's a time of love. It's a time of hate. It's a time of betrayal. But it's a time of, um, mending and good feelings and love. And that's all I want really at the end of the day is to be loved. That was the one of the best that you want to be loved. Yeah.

How about you? Yeah. Yeah. And, um, it's happening. I've been very emotional, too, because, um, I don't know what came over me, but, um, I started watching some 30 for 30 thirties. The sports. Exactly what it is.

You know, you see the OJ, the OJ was great, but I saw a couple today that made me fucking cry, which is when what's his name? What the fuck? I just saw the documentary. What's the sport? Tyson. Tyson. What's his name?

Buster Douglas. Buster Douglas. So Buster Douglas, um, there's a documentary about him being Tyson. But things I didn't know is that his relationship with his mom and his mom died a month before the fight. Oh gosh. You know that? No.

And his dad was sort of this overbearing, um, boxer also. He was a beast from what everyone says, this guy. And, um, what's the guy's name? Buster Douglas. Buster Douglas. How are you so mostly impacted? I don't know. Buster Douglas.

I will never forget it. Sorry, Buster. You're listening. But Buster, um, you know, his dad was back in Columbus, wherever, his brother, and he's in Tokyo. His mom died a month ago. No one thought in a million years. His, it was 42 to one that he was going to, is that bad?

A what? The odds. 40 to one. That's pretty bad. Yeah. 42 to one. Horrible. That's horrible.

Yeah. So we should have bet $1,000 on that. Oh, million. Oh my God. How much money? We're going to make some good money. But my point is, is that he went in there when everyone said, you're going to die. Yeah.

You're not, you're not going to make the first round. And he, even his coaches were like, dude, it was training like to win. Like he was jogging, like really running when he normally doesn't run. He was so focused and it just made me cry when he won. That's all. And then there was another one called, um, dude, do not, I am going to fucking figure out this name by myself. I know the name.

What is it? I'm going to start with the first letter. Give us, wait, give us clues about what it's about. He's a basketball coach. Legend. Legend. Legend. Tennessee.

The volunteers. Hmm. No. No, not volunteers. Starts with a P. Pat summit. Yeah. Pat summit. You know Pat summit?

No. Back up. Pat summit was, um, a coach for a Tennessee college. I don't know which one, but. Is it orange? It's orange. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You said it early. I did. Good job. I didn't catch it. Okay. Am I losing my mind, babe? I feel like I forget things even more.

Am I getting Alzheimer's? I don't think, I think that you, you use a lot of gadgets. And I think that you're not doing a lot of things that require focus. So you're not practicing focus and your mind just sort of scatters. Yeah. My mind is scattered. Yeah. It's okay.

I don't think so. I think I might be getting some sort of dementia though. Oh, like her. Cause she had early onset. That's what I'm saying. I walk into a room sometimes and go. Why am I here? Have you ever done that?

When was the last time that happened to you? Every day. Okay. But you should see what he does. Imagine playing, like looking, fixating at your iPad or any device for six hours straight. And then even while you're driving to a location, you're still focused on your iPad, the same game for six hours, right? And all of a sudden you walk into a white room with big lights.

You're going to be like, what the fuck? Where am I? He's, he's not living in reality. He's living in game land. So I don't, I also, my behavior, um, especially the comedy store, I'm reverting back to crazy behavior, which is scaring the shit out of me. Like what? Example.

So I've been doing something to my friends at the comedy store. Yeah. And, um, I didn't do it for a while, but I'm, you know, you're back at it and get back at it. And basically what I say is, Hey, Adam. You play Adam. Hey, what's up? Bobby.

Hey. Yeah. I got a bruise. Oh. Calyla? No, no, no. I have a physical bruise on my body and I don't know what to do with the body because it's like, it's so painful and we'll go away.

Sorry, man. He'll take a look at it. Oh yeah. Where is it? Over here behind the car. We're going behind the car? Yeah. Yeah.

Just so no one's watching. All right. We're good. We're good friends. Right. Right. We're really good. And I'll pull out my member and go, there it is.

There's the bruise. Yeah. We walk away. Crazy Bob. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's all it is. Can you put that in, Bryce?

Yeah. Perfect. Okay. Thank you. So, yeah, Neil Brennan, I don't know if he's right or wrong, but maybe he is. I don't know. But, you know, we're Montreal, we'll see what happens. I'll give you guys a thing.

The new house, the next, the next, when we moved in the house, the tiger bellies were going to do from that new house. Yeah. We got some great guests lined up, and I'm really super excited about it, and I'm really very happy about who we are as a people and as a group and what we represent. I think that we should talk more about how we're going to do our final episode here, because people are inquiring, how many people are we going to have here for the last episode and how do we choose them?

Bobby? Well, we'd have to just have a task, I guess. A task? Yeah, but I'd have to go to a place and meet me at this place. I would like to have a test, like invite 100 people, or 50 people, into a small little auditorium, have a piece of paper like this out, right? We grab all their phones so they can't Google shit, and it's all about tiger bellies. Like I'll give you...

A quiz? Yeah, like who, who, right, has been on Tiger Belly the most as a guest, right? Yeah. So, should we make a... That'd be kind of interesting. Should we make it, what do you call them, the ants, you know, the bubbles? The four... Scantrons?

No, the four options. You know how sometimes a question and then they give you a line and then you have multiple choice? Multiple choice, yeah. That's what it's called, right? Oh, that's good. You guys never been to school? I mean, I'm surprised you know what a scantron is.

So I think we should do that. We should put some Star Trek questions in there. Some other questions and then, you know... Can you ask me and Gilb's Star Trek questions? Right now. Right now? Yeah. Oh, because you've been practicing.

I heard the patron. I never practice. I'm just learning. You look like Romulans. That. All right. I got one that... Both won't be possible.

Okay, well then, don't ask it. But then if we can't get it, you have to do multiple choice. Okay. Okay. Sure. So Warf on Star Trek Next Generation, yep. Who adopted him? Just...

That's not the question, but I just... That's like a pre-question. I know. I know. Two white people. But are they humans or Klingons? They're humans. Okay, good.

Did you know that? No. Okay. We're not going to answer this next one though. Oh, watch this. If it's multiple choice. So Warf has a real Klingon brother. Yes.

But he also has an adoptive brother. Oh, okay. Yeah. Who's only in one episode. Uh-huh. But he's a huge actor that plays him. And the guy that plays him is Paul Servino. Okay.

You knew who that is? This is a really long question. No, what is his name? What is Warf's brother, adoptive brother's name? So I'm going to give you the options. Okay. Gregory? Uh-huh.

She's faking it. She's faking it. What's with his eyes? Vlad amir? Uh-huh. It could be a trick. Nikolai? Uh-huh.

Mark. Nikolai. Nikolai. What? Nikolai. Yeah. Yeah. How did you guys get Nikolai?

Because of the way you pretended to. This is another challenge. All right. You know what? I'm going to cover my face and give you the options. I have to do that. I have to do this. I love how you really emphasize.

All right. So here we go. Here we go. Nikolai? He's like Nikolai. Nikolai? Nikolai? All right.

Yeah. I tried to pronounce it wrong. Okay. That fucked up. All right. Here we go. Yeah. What is Whoopi Goldberg's name in?

Gynan. Fuck. Where does she work? Ten Ford. Wow. Wow. That's good. How do you know so much right now?

Because that's all she hears. I hear it in my dreams because he watches it all night while I'm asleep. It really is. I honestly need help because all I do is watch Next Generation over and over again. I see the same episode. It's a weird like OCD obsession that I have about it. It's weird. And then like I know that the card's coming out, the new one.

And I just don't even understand how I didn't even get an audition for that fucking thing. I know. I don't either. That would have been amazing. Yeah. I don't, they don't want to see me. I'll do anything. I'll be, I won't even have a line.

Just give me, I'll be a mute like Ferengi or something. Who are the Asians in Next Generation, the doctor, that Asian lady? Yeah. There is, there is only two Asians that I know. There's one assistant doctor, I don't know her name. But then also there's an engineer, he does, fuck what's his name, Chief O'Brien. Chief O'Brien has a wife in it, who's also Asian, she's Chinese, it looks like. But no Asian males?

No, because they had Sulu in the first one. So I let it slide. But also the kid that I play in, the kid that I play in, what would Diplo do? Yeah. Right? His real dad is in Star Trek. He plays a, a Colonel or something. That's so cool.

So let's do one more and then we'll move on. Okay. Let's do Siri, a couple, what, what planet is Deanna Troy from? Oh shit. What, what's, what's half her, she's human, what's the other half? She's half with alien. Is she green? No, she's not green.

She's just a, she looks. Deanna Troy is just a white chick. A white chick, yeah. Is she green? Is she green? Does she have antennas? There's no one that's. Can you, can you?

Do multiple choice again. Okay. Yeah, but okay. No, come on. Do you, do you, no, put it down and, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I have to do this. All right. I'm going to listen to the way you say it.

Okay. So Deanna Troy is either half Kardashian, she's so stupid. No, Kardashian is a type of people. It's a real right. Not Kardashian, Kardashian. Oh, Kardashian. Okay, she's half Cardassian either that or half betasoid or how or other she's a hat Lillian or half Comba betasoid

Lillian betasoid got it. I know it is tell us when he only uses his eyes You gotta give me another one. You gotta give me one. I'm not gonna tell you what it is. I know what the tell is The only answer you did the one thing with your All right, I did it. He goes like I did it. He goes a cardassian be betasoid He looked completely all the way to the right now put your face on to in front of your face babe that right there the pillow Why did you look all the way to the right? Okay? Oh Wow

Dude, but you're also like a master of lying. How are you? I know I don't think because I've never done multiples I'm multiple choice. Okay. Here we go. Yeah, okay. Okay. Give us a hard one. I'll give you a real hard I tried it closer to your face, babe Yeah, so you're really talking okay Go ahead Can you hear me? Yep? Yeah, we can hear you. Okay. I just got to think of one. Okay All right, so um on the enterprise There's a series of tunnels, right?

That they're like little tunnels with stairs in it and you and you can get to parts of the ship like Electrical parts. It's basically There's a specific term that they use for these tunnels. Okay. Okay. Mm-hmm. So I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna give you the options. Okay. Yeah, he's nervous. I am very nervous I like lithium tubes, uh-huh. Margo tubes Daniel's tubes Jeffries Tubes Margo's tubes

What Margo? No Jeffries jamming. That was swity why he's I got stressed out I got super stressed out. Oh, the first one also got me too. I was like, oh, is he saying that crazy word? Just yeah, yeah, I thought it was Margot because I don't think he would know that name otherwise I was like, he doesn't know Margot. I went to high school with a person named Margot. Me too. I lied. Oh You're not gonna multiple choice, but you're good at that. I'm good at lying straight. Just straight lies Yeah, I'm not good at multiplying on the fly like on the on the run lying. Yeah, you know

You learn to do that. Did you see a do you guys see you see Avengers Endgame? Yeah, I haven't you should but you say it I you know You say it because um, you just don't want to talk about it when people bring up shit. That's why I just lie, you know, I Lie a lot. I don't know. I like to win I'm a champ lie You're what? Light champ. Oh, like champ champ. Champ. Champ. Champ. Champ. Champ. Chinese dish. It's not Chinese. What is it to do?

Have you been to Montreal? I haven't. You can go to Park Royale. What is that? I think it's in like a Hike in the middle of the city. Oh, I can't wait. Is that what it's called? I'm gonna do Park Royale. No, no, no I think it's called Mount Royale. What's it called Gilbert? I'm embarrassing myself. Hey, you're not from Montreal So it's okay to be perfect. Oh, okay. Yeah, there are restaurants. I can send you though The reason why I'm so scared of Montreal though is because there was a band called of Montreal Okay, and it's really just it's he's great. The albums are great, but they're a little kind of artsy and a little sophisticated and a little odd and so I always just associate the city of Montreal with of Montreal the band and I feel like they're not gonna get my humor, but I think that they are

Because in other Canadian cities, I rock the world Okay, yeah, then you'll be fine. I'll go to I'll go to Cal not rock the world I'll go up and I'll tell a joke and people will laugh. Oh, they're like normal humans Why do you think like everyone there is like George St. Pierre? They just seem a little bit more sophisticated even more than New York. It's the French. I am not impressed by your performance Really good What do you guys think about who Korean zombies gonna fight next? Oh, I don't know who he's fighting. You know it is Who's he fighting TC? Oh?

Oh, yeah, oh, what yeah Ortiz, how do you feel about that Mexico City? Mexico City is sort of a toss-up because you know people don't take into yeah, the elevation is crazy there It's like six thousand feet or something like that Really, I can't lost cuz Kane only came two weeks beforehand and we're doomed stayed there for two months Oh, yeah, big big deal. I think that mark Hunt also remember the whole that was a Mexico card, too, right? You know actually, let's go back to Montreal. You know who reached out and it's gonna film something with Bobby and Montreal Which is gonna be hilarious cuz Bobby does not watch basketball and when I told him I was like, do you know what? Is he an American team? He's a raptor

You're shooting with the Toronto Raptor a championship. He doesn't I was like hey babe I was like make sure you know that the Raptors won this year. Okay. He's like what they did they won the Raptors that want to win Danny green Danny green. Oh, he's a lady. He's a lover. He still lives out there. He lives out there Yeah, I think he is really yeah, so he lives he was on Toronto. Yeah, he's a Laker now He's gonna be with LeBron and everyone else. Oh shit. Well, it's like oh, look at like when I took a photo with this guy Like don't say that you know that I didn't know he was he came home and he was like babe I took a photo with this guy who is he I knew I knew he was special because of the fact that he was with Neil Brennan

Everyone Bobby's only a picture of him and Blake Griffin and there's another there's another guy that he brought in last night a Black very skinny black man athlete or he's an athlete You know and then I go I knew whenever Neil brings in somebody. I know he's somebody so I walked up to my rubbed his back Which is what I always do the large black man. Yeah, I love to rub their back. So nice of you and go hey And he turns around in his eyes Lord look at me and he goes The pleasure is all mine He said that So go me too

And then we just kind of party wise. Oh, she had a picture. I wish you had a picture Well, look at Neil Brennan's Instagram. Maybe you can find out who he would if it's this Bobby Green guy that you were talking about Bobby Green's an MMA fighter Whatever he lost great. First of all, how does wow what wonder why he contacted you what are you shooting? It's a cultural if they're gonna have like it's like a cultural like food show. Wow Danny green. Okay. Yeah, I think it'll be fun. You know him and I maybe it's that's the guy that I saw me. Oh Maybe Dude, that's the guy. It has to be what do you mean saw you because he would be in LA. Is it that guy?

Yeah, Danny Green lives in he lives in LA or I don't know if he lives here now, but he's going to be a like it's not him I don't think I don't think it's him. I don't be racist. So I don't think it's him. That's a safe way to go. Yeah Yeah, I don't think it is. No, this other guy was darker Yeah, yeah, is that racist? I don't know. Oh, yeah Yeah, I know we don't talk about politics and we want we're not politic Podcast and I know that you know certain people in the room doesn't like when I talk about it Which is I don't we must be running out of material if we're gonna turn to politics, you know, I don't want to talk I'm not I don't I didn't run out of topic. I could talk about whatever you want me to talk about

But I'm just saying that it was You know a real thing that happened today, but it's fine That's it Nothing I can say really everything that I wanted to say is here Let me see let me see let me see your list. Give me your list Montreal brice-queen magical Neil Brennan That's what it says any anything else that you might have watched No, no I was just funny that you had that list because we have old list from early

List of what give me a couple way that you like wrote stuff down because we don't do that anymore But Kalala when we first started the podcast used to write down pages of talking points like episode Let me let me give me give me give me him. Give me him. She's embarrassed. That's why she was give it to you Give it to you Really what episode is that this is a MMA minute November 2nd, 2015 Wow, you've see fight night 77 in Rock Palo, Brazil What does that say? What is that?

So so Palo, baby I was like Rock Palo, South Palo, Brazil. Okay, number one Delia wrong-ass grab Wrong-ass grab Wrong-ass grab what number two is nothing. Oh, let me see the number two number two is nothing. Let's get that topic Okay, number three is The jewel story Java Joe's that was a good one. Yeah. Yeah, this would be our quiz stuff Yeah, it's a lot on PK. Very good. I remember that. Wow. I remember that night. Yeah, Planned Parenthood Don't remember Eric and destiny plays as Kalaya. So makes me sane

Oh, yeah, during that time and James Dean Stoya and James Dean. Yeah plot on wall at porn stars Plot on a wall at spa Oh, yeah, take a shit on a wall at a spa Jeremy Jordan. Who's that? I don't know. Okay, so that's what's on this here So, um, I love these notes. There's only four Filipino girl shabu-shabu Jessica, what does support to Ken first? You're not gonna be able to read my writing. Let me read it I'm gonna get to a one that has a big list. What's shabu-shabu story?

I don't know. We've all talked. We've talked. These are topics. We've all talked about crazy Did we get roofied? That's number one. Oh, wait. Was that when you guys were out of town together? Something happened Yeah, story about Catholicism Brea love letters Thanksgiving story why no boundaries love letters Those are boring. Come on. Yeah, I'm gonna just do one more. Yeah, find one That's great. Here we go. Look at this big manifested Steve a birthday speech Poo pills. Oh, that was a good one. I can tell I remember that one. Was it poop pills? Remember? He didn't believe that that's how maybe we should start doing this again. You you. Oh, yeah

I think we should start doing this again these notes. Don't you think they were stronger when we did these notes? I kind of want to frame these Past sex no cuddling if you could be three people combined no look not looks just personality Anthony Bourdain Joe Rogan I didn't even have a third wait You know what answer that now like so who to three people you would guys would take for personality just personality just personality if I could what create a Partner or create a baby? Uh, I would say partner. No, baby On personality alone, baby you three celebrities or people or people that you know who would make the perfect

Don't worry about looks partner the woman then I mean, yeah He smoked it. So what you're saying is is that someone And three celebrities personalities they're not their looks not their looks and they're women that I would go out with Okay, here we go Probably Natalie Portman How do you know what she's like in real life because I see her in that master's class

Advertisement on YouTube. Oh, she does one. She has one acting. Whoa, and she's like take risks. You know No, make mistakes. Right. It's an art form. You take a you know all that kind of I like that. Okay. Good Natalie Portman Natalie Portman the second is um The tv version of Ellen DeGeneres Okay, not the real Ellen. No, yeah, they mean the daytime Which her persona on tv is different than her persona off I'm of quite has to be yes, of course. No in a in a complete. I think polar opposite kind of way But I mean, of course she's she has to I think anyone in that position is not going to be their true selves. They have to be so

Um loved by so many people. Yeah, you have to turn it on of course, but she's also does a thing where um She's really good with kids Ellen and you can tell that these kids because I go on obsessions with ellens and our kids on youtube and um She's really she has a good heart but I just remember When we were doing spilling up together and she showed up in sunglasses and didn't mean anybody and she was in the back freaking everyone out, but you know She's one of the biggest stars

On planet earth. Yeah And then um the third personality probably someone like michelle obama probably. Oh my god I was gonna say yeah, yeah, because she um You can tell you know what it is about public officials or people that represent you. I just want You know, I just want them to at least pretend To care about me You know To to pretend that you know, whatever your your agenda and your plans are for this country

That someone that like me is involved Like a public service. Yeah, and we don't we're not getting that right now There's somebody in office that like is obvious. He doesn't give a fuck about people that look like me You know, so it's like And when I see him even I'll google michelle or her latest appearances or And there's just something about her that makes me feel like you know That she she cares for yeah, yeah, and um, I don't know my three

Who michelle obama? Boys they could be boys. No, it's men, right? Oh, it's right yours is good. Yeah. Yeah, so mine would have to be um barack obama Right personality, right? um Mozart in the jungle the character he plays on Mozart in the jungle So galaxy of urnel, okay his if you ever watch that show it's awesome But he plays a really um kooky maestro

But he's awesome in it and then the third is the late anthony bourdain. I think I would have three That is like the best combo right there. I would be happy forever Or just a bobby lee There it is He didn't choose me. I was gonna choose you but then you you chose. No, you weren't gonna choose. Yeah, I was I swear I'll tell you why I think the third one was blank there. Oh Consistency plan. I like it if you could be three people combined. It says here anthony bourdain Yeah, Joe Rogan and Aaron Burnett

What Aaron Burnett That's so you did pick three if you could be if I wanted to be three people combined No, that's but if I want something out of the partner three people combined Now be with the people that you just chose the three that you chose right now is what you want out of a partner Yeah, well you have it on the list right here. Okay. You lie. I'm not in it The other one was and you know what I took I I like Joe Rogan, but I think he's off that list now Why?

I don't know. He's just you know, my mind has changed. There's Mozart in the jungle. Yeah, since I've seen that show Yeah, people get relegated people get bumped up again That's all You know, brian canlan was supposed to be here today and um It's nice to do one with us just us every once in a while you will be back when I get back from my trip It's nothing. You know what I find odd about this podcast though Is is that you know, here's the thing. Yeah

It's you know, you you drive down hollywood. You see these billboards, you know John's revenge on netflix or whatever. I'm just making up right. It's a good. Yeah good title night lights Friday night lights. Oh, oh, yeah, it's a different one. This one's about hockey. Yeah, this one's about hockey night lights Not friday night lights. Yeah, sorry but um And you think you drive down the road and you think Oh, yeah, they're Brent killman's killing it killing it

Well, you know somebody's that you're a friend now. Oh, yeah, you know who's in that someone's uh killing it But this Is bigger I mean into some people Because I walked into the giant robot and the guy eric that runs giant robot. Mm-hmm. It was like congratulations, man I go what I got nothing This is the last week and I go What he goes tiger belly, dude, you made it

And I was like, oh, you think I did So, you know, maybe I think that's true I went to a production house like a pretty big production company I sat at a meeting and the one guy goes Hey, what am I like one of the interns or employees goes is that gilbert from tiger belly and they have celebrities go there all the time So tiger belly is like everywhere. Yeah, I maybe I don't I don't leave the house enough to feel and I want to show you this. Uh, I just want to show you the stranger things Thing uh, are you not?

Are you kind of upset that I'm no, I'm so fucking proud of it Oh, babe, the only reason that I was chosen for that picture was because there was a proper face to fit that particular profile If you can't find Guess what feels not on there. He is on there. Are you out of your mind feels not on there? I'll find the on here. I bet you won't. I thought it was cool when I saw glala Thank you. Oh, he isn't on here Why is that because I and I read that it's because the guy couldn't find a proper picture to fit into the bodies See, so it's not based on anything other than what head fits on which body

uh Who's this um, who's this woman this african-american woman? Oh, that's um Um, what's her she was just on rogan miss pat. Oh, she's great I did a radio show with her in indiana or something. She's great. Yeah, she's hilarious She's very funny. All right. Anyway, um, so collala has arrived. She's now in these. Um, you know, I mean This is a big thing dude podcast celebrity. Yeah, how do you think you've changed? So we look back at those notes That's how you've changed It's obviously that dude. I want that as a t-shirt. You know, have you seen that one? Yeah, I want that on a t-shirt

I said, can we put out a memo because this right here these artists is dead on Keep the gap or let's look make sure we zoom up on that right up on that right so big all right, so The gap right my head is look at the sweat. It's like two Madonna gaps Yeah, Madonna. Yeah, but they know about your sweating. Yes, you know, I actually did like that. Yeah. Yeah, didn't I not like it? Yeah, and that is that you Gilbert right there the largest head. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and then I look like I'm a fucking like one of those Your eyes, man. Yeah snake Yeah, I'm a snake. I like looking at people's interpretations of my face because I look pretty fucking ugly all So I'm like, all right

If you back down to earth, you know, it's like, oh, that's how people view me. Yeah You like you think you cute bitch because you're not Oh, so this Marco Polo are you guys on this thing? What's Marco Polo this thing right here, dude Marco Polo, bro It's a new app and um, you know who made me go on David Spade. Yeah spade Because he's a canceller he's a canceller Why is he saying that to you because I canceled that show Friday Oh, he came heat. You know who also came Andy dick and his friend

And the Andy dick Called me that night. Oh, I forgot to say this is a huge thing I thought we were supposed to talk about it. We said we were not gonna. It's just going to stoke the fire and he's gonna Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right Okay, what if you must you he just said he goes No, he just basically said, um I try to come and see you and I'm not allowed on the premises. Oh wait, that's not what we were supposed to say I thought you were talking about his friend crying trying to like no, it wasn't even that friend

He was good there though. He was with a friend who is a big fan of me Yeah to do that when I canceled that friday thing in the belly room Oh, I see and he goes and then he goes. I need to get back on because I need to you know me and salvage Hmm, I think we should give Andy dick another shot. Absolutely. Of course. He he's he's called me five fucking times since then A thousand percent. Yeah. Yeah, and um, I think he was having a bad day. I think he was having a bad week Funny though, dude, the fucking he make worse on the fucking homeless people's heads. I'm sorry the wrist thing Yeah, so funny. It's it he it wasn't him. It was everyone around Yeah, so the next time we do it. I'll just oh, but he's gonna go. What about my friend?

Well, his friend is who is his friend? It's just a policy. We'll have this is a policy I we invite andy dick because he's andy dick That's it. All right, look at angry jesus. It's just it's so much you guys I wish I could just say everything on a mic right now, but I won't I will refrain Can't yeah, we can't we can't let's see. Oh, how what do we have time was drama time for a question? Do we do do we do we do do okay? When is this air? Uh, two weeks Three weeks. Okay, two or three weeks out. Go ahead. Unhelpful advice with bobby kalayla

Hi tiger belly. I'm a 20 year old male from england and about a month ago I met up with an old friend from high school to buy some pot and catch up We met at his house when I arrived. He was sharpening a tool. I asked him what the tool was for and he tells me he's been digging a hole This confuses me as I see nowhere in his small garden has been touched. He tells me he will show me Which I agree to and we continue to discuss other topics like old teachers and current events the whole time he continues to sharpen the tool After an hour of talking we decided to go on a walk to smoke a joint and visit the mystery hole He'd been digging turns out the hole was at a local park located down a quiet path just up a steep slope The hole was roughly three feet deep and three feet wide meaning

Had clearly spent some time digging this hole as some type of hobby I even stood in it to get an idea of how deep it was. We then sat in the hole to smoke the joint we prepared after this he After this he tells me something he tells me that this is the first time he came to the hole He he tells me the first time he came to the hole. He masturbated in it This alarmed me, but I kept my cool and tried to shrug off the comment. He tells me not to mention this to anyone As he understood this could have legal repercussions. Wait, wait, wait, wait, that's that's a thing trying to Not into holes. I'm gonna google it right. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait

If I'm in a hole with somebody yep, and they said I I masturbated here. I'm not in this hole. You're in this hole. You're sitting in it. My first response or action Would be to get the fuck out of the hole Before anything else is said agreed a hundred percent right hundred percent So if I'm in a hole with Bryce that Bryce dug up And he goes I masturbated this I'd go I'd go can you pull me? You know like put your hand out like this and I'll put my foot on I'll leave the hole

That's number one number one thing I would do and then I'd be like Why didn't you tell me there before we went in the hole? I sat under calm So what why is there a hole there? What's his question? What's the question? There are other comments he made that felt slightly off like saying there's a set way to get any woman you want And I'm not going to get a job but nothing on the same level as public masturbation This guy now follows me on social media and occasionally tries to talk to me He wants to ask me to borrow money and even ask my girlfriend how my girlfriend was even though they were they never met I ignore his questions. My question is should I judge him so uh solely on this small encounter?

It's not a small encounter. That is a massive encounter If someone is sharpening if I haven't seen you sharpening a tool If in 10 fucking years and you spent our entire conversation sharpening a tool and then leading me to a hole you jizzing That is a massive encounter and I will never I will probably move states I will move out of california or it could just be as innocent as like, you know, if I spent A couple of months digging a hole. Yeah And I haven't seen you in a while. Okay. I'd be like, hey man. You want to check out my hole? Uh, where are we going?

You know 50 feet outside my front door around the bend. There's a hole. Okay, I'll go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go We go to the hole, right? And I go if you got that weed. Yeah, here's a pot. You want to smoke it here or in the hole? Or maybe outside the hole. Let's go in the hole because there's cops. Oh, do you know what? You're right Yeah, let's get in the hole. Okay, so you're in the hole now, right? Yeah, we smoke. We're a little high Dude, this is sweet. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, man. Um Is it my hole or yours your hole? It's my hole. Hey, man, uh Um

Do you feel something sticky underneath your feet? Yeah, what is like soil and water? No, what? Why'd you get quiet? It's the adhesive that my body produces Uh, come come. I jerked off in here. Why would you make me go in this hole? Because it was the weed Oh in that case got any more come Yeah, you're right. It's weird, baby I tried in my head try to get like justify it. There is no justification. The only justification is if I were some Let's say I was like banksy or someone we were really like I was an artist with a big imagination

He would be sort of amused to me. He would be amused. I'd be like, you know what this guy's a little fucking weird And I I'm gonna use him as inspiration for some type of like art or like short film I'm gonna make a man who jizzes in holes You know what I mean? Like that if you look at it that way Oh Well, what would you do if I brought you in a hole? We're smoking weed. Yeah instead of coming We're just there and you look on the ground And there's just like a human finger sticking out of the soil

I actually wouldn't say anything. You wouldn't say anything. I wouldn't say anything. I'd say calm I would come up with an excuse like oh Fuck I think I left my phone up there. Oh, hang on. How would you stay at least 30 more minutes to make it seem like you were cool? Uh, I would say a little bit not 30 minutes five minutes Okay, so you'd finish the joint. Well, you know what? I would do is I'd probably stick take the dirt and just kind of cover it up I'd just be like I didn't wink at him like this. All right. I got you. Yeah. No, you know I wouldn't know I would just cover it up because I wouldn't want the person to

Know that I saw the hands. What if he won't oh, I see I see right So I would just cover it up Pretend I didn't see it But then also know there's a dead human in here Oh, and that he could kill me. So I'd be completely alert Yeah, because that's probably how he got that first person down there Oh Oh, that's a nightmare. There's a short think about that's a horror film

It was it was a 12 foot hole before and then each person and now it's an eight It's a nine foot hole and then a six foot hole now. He's gonna be the fourth person Yeah, three foot hole. It's like that old joke. There's an old joke that they this is an old joke. So there was a kid Um, he has a um box in the middle of a street. It's like a wooden box He's on top of the wooden box And he's jumping up and down yelling 35 35 35

Okay, and a man walks on the street and goes hey kid. What are you doing and the kid's like this is really fun, sir You know you should try it So he goes, are you sure he goes? Yeah So the man gets on the box and he jumps up 35 and the kid pulls the box And the man falls into a manhole. The kid puts the box back on the manhole and goes 36 I like that Very dark as well. That's so dark Yeah, it's an old joke. Yeah. Is that a joke? I think I heard about maybe I made it up in my mind

I suppose it's a joke. It's a joke. I feel like you you created that fantasy in my mind I did maybe that was a dream 36 But um, yeah, man That was a great and helpful advice. That was a good one. I would run away. I would block him Is there anything else? That's all we got. Are you sure you want to really sad? Are there any toys I can open or boxes? We haven't done that in a while. We have boxes What are those boxes? You know also have it being able to find is the the gigantic boxes of

A dream powder You we already found them and you store them. Where are they because you Babe, we opened the big box and you were like, oh my god, that's where they were and then you used all of it I didn't use all of it because I remember there's nine other green bags with them in there. I didn't even touch Trust me. Maybe her mom packaged it. There's a lot of them. Yeah, there was a lot. Okay, but we'll be able to find them again I don't know probably in a box somewhere Anyway, that was a weird one And we're back big shout out to our real papayas of july

Hi, we have bond johnson bond. I love you man He's got a really good head on his shoulders I've never seen it, but I heard it. You heard about it. We have also dustin. That's all it is dustin Wow, but people know what dustin it is when I say it. Mm-hmm. It's dustin from this dustin We have have his have ease from singapore. He's always here. I love you have ease. God bless you Make lots of money in singapore. Mm-hmm. Take care of your grandma I love the tie from the tie clan. Love this guy has strong joints

How do you know because I went jogging with him once. Oh, that's cool. We have melvin flores from the flores. Um Prophecy, what's that prophecy about the prophecy is that he's gonna be the one one day. Oh damn We have rachel wilkins. I love you rachel. God bless you. Take care Spencer brown from the I love it Spencer brown's great We have the incubator which It's scary

He goes by the incubator because you know, he's my arch anemesis. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What does he do? He takes my eggs and he incubates it and make it full-grown clones. Yeah But you have eggs you have a weird woman. Yeah, I have eggs. You don't know that. No. Yeah, they're like, um, they look like, um um, little see-through pink Eggs that dangle off of my nutsack. Wait, do you lay it out your butt? Yeah Oh, you're a duck. I'm a duck. What? We also have west digs It's a great name. Like if you were a football star west digs. Yeah We have wil

Boshler, let me see it Boshler. Yeah, that sounds European. Yeah, and we got zack And I want to bet that zack is white They've never met a black guy named zack. Let me think let me think There's never been a black guy named zack. I believe the black power ranger was named with zack In in a fictional. Oh my god. Really? Is it? Yeah Wow, but that's fictional. It's fictional. Yeah, so we don't know for real, but thank you guys so much for the real papas I love you guys so much and without your support. We did nothing

Scandalous. Yeah, go ahead. Thanks guys. Uh, so guys don't let the tiger belly fun And now you can get audio episodes at patreon.com slash tiger belly And if you have not, uh, wrote a itunes review, please do that Do you guys have to write a write a write a write itunes review for us? Do it so we can get in top 20 We were in top 30 last week. Let's bump up. Uh, you can follow us on instagram at tiger belly on twitter at the tiger belly Uh, you can email us questions to advice on helpful, uh at gmail.com You can follow kalilah on all her social media at calamity k calamity k. She's like literally guys this She is

I'm telling you right now a year from now. She's gonna be a big star And film and television doing what? You know Doing what I don't know. I'm just throwing it out there in the universe. Thank you. That's really not for you Does that give you anxiety that you could potentially be a huge star in a year from now? That's not gonna happen. It is gonna. I may be making a lot of money doing Things that I love, but it's not gonna. It won't make me a star in the way. You're a star now. I'll see you guys Wow to be continued. We'll kalilah be a star in a year. We'll find out

Um guys, thank you for a show everything bobby lee go to bobby live.com or phone Oh Hey prime members you can listen to tiger barely ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today Or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast before you go Tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey