TigerBelly - Episode 22: We Don't Know That For Certain

Episode Date: December 30, 2015

We don't know why Chewie doesn't cry, or if Bobby is a rainbow rider, or if Steven Avery did it. We don't know why Bobby isn't verified, why he is seduced by the dark side, or why he is beloved amongst Mexican inmates. We don't know shit. We never have. We don't know what the next year holds but we hope it's a beautiful one for all of you. Happy New Year, babybellies!   Recorded December 29, 2015 Music by Bobby Lee Instagram: @tigerbelly Twitter: @thetigerbelly www.thetigerbelly.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Welcome to Tiger Belly. My name is Bobby Lee. I have Kalayla and I have Gilbert and welcome listeners I ran into Pauly Shore about three or four days ago and he goes dude I listened to the tag no he said crouching hidden dragon or whatever I go that's not what it's called and he goes dude you guys have to slow it down in the beginning introduce yourself every shot I go what you guys slow it down and you know what Pauly is a mentor of mine and he's a friend and I am gonna take his advice is that why his podcast is so wildly successful sweetie what you say that's probably why because he knows how to take yeah that's

what that's why because his podcast is a hit here's the beauty about podcasts who gives a fuck about broadcasting chops I don't have it I had never done radio nothing even remotely in this field in my entire life but guess what what I get to do it however the fuck I well we're doing I want to speed it up because I'm a neurotic person I have that choice we're gonna do a Pauly's way we're gonna slow it down this show so we're starting from the top well this is for you Pauly for you Pauly are you ready Bobby we're he said to introduce yourself I'm gonna do it now baby okay go ahead welcome to Tiger but just let I gotta take two okay don't laugh sorry welcome to Tiger belly my name is Bobby Lee with Kalyla longer pause longer pause Gilbert

and we are through I'm a comedian Gilbert I don't know what he does either he's in a sketch comedy group full of Asian guys my name is my name is Kalyla and I am just one giant failure at life why do you say that that's my only those are my only you know that's the only thing in my resume yes not like that I was in school for a very long time Philippine national swim team you that was when I was younger I'm not that anymore I'm an ex I'm an I'm a has been in the sport of swimming you've done a lot of things in your life Kalyla I've done a lot of schooling in your life and it's paying off right now how so because can I just say this okay this week Kalyla and I have been living like vampires we've been waking up at like 4 or 5 p.m. literally

during the dark we woke up a couple times the sunlight in four days in four days and because of things we did a particularly because the last three days or the for the last two nights we've gone full marathon on the show making a murderer making a murderer on Netflix I want to say this for those of you haven't seen it watch it because you're gonna have aneurysms you're gonna have full-blown panic attacks you're going to you know what it reminded me of every episode reminds me of remembering Game of Thrones the red wedding oh yeah when that happened the red wedding it's like that literally every episode you're like you have to push pause and you have to walk away and going what the fuck like you cannot believe the injustice you haven't seen it you haven't

seen it I'm gonna watch it but what is like the gist of it it's about it's about Filipino people's flat flat faces specifically you me yeah it's about me it's about you and your flat face and me wanting to murder it so a quick a quick synopsis Gilbert so here's a man who had been this is how the first episode starts basically a man is put in prison for 18 years and is released after some DNA evidence comes up and proves that he in fact did not commit the crime that he was convicted for 18 years prior DNA through DNA yeah so yeah for rape for rape for sexual assault and like supposedly like attempted murder I think yeah and 18 years he for 18 years he said I didn't do it right he's stuck by his guns because he didn't do it he gets out all right and then what

happened we don't want to give away any spoiler alerts so we have to be very with the tread lightly so at this point the county that he is from is called Manitoba County and in Wisconsin they are looking really bad in front of the media because they basically took away the freedom of a man for 18 years right not only that what there was like there was like a lot of like odd odd things that happened like basically to prove that they had the information that he wasn't the the guy sometime the lot of cover up in the in the 90s so he could have gotten out eight years sooner than he did yeah because of that guy that actually did the assault went to prison or went to jail and admitted to it admitted to it but they never said anything because yeah I know that's just that's only the

introduction to the fucking what so that you're gonna be asking yourself throughout this whole fucking thing holy shit right so he gets out and basically he develops a lawsuit suing the the not the state of Wisconsin the city the county the county right and all these law enforcement officers the sheriff they're all in this exposed now they're all exposed right and he's suing for something crazy like 35 million dollars a whole a lot of money a lot of money well he was only gonna get half a million from that yeah it wasn't even a lot first of all if you imprison me for 18 years right for something I didn't do and you try to give me a fucking half a million at the end of it I want to suck my little dick my little tiny little alien dick you're gonna suck your own no

I'm gonna tell them to suck it oh I took my own if I could would you really would you really we wouldn't no if your mouth just a side note I'm just I'm sorry okay let's let me ask us that side step back let me ask you something my friend yeah lowbrow time it's not being lowbrow I'm just asking my question baby it's not lowbrow it's science okay if you could suck your own dick and you you wouldn't do it no it's listening right you know it's listening of course okay well there you go can turn the mics back yeah wait you're not you're not circumcised right so do you have tic-tic the fuck tic-tic is like schmagma do you have stuff in it okay I will say I used to when you were younger probably when I was younger can I see it when I was younger can I see your penis

now right now yeah no yeah I want to see your penis right now no let's go back to highbrow babe oh let's go back to the anyway making a murderer well I am gonna see it okay today fine let's let you know fine making a murderer okay so that's how it starts so we're not going to ruin the rest of it for you but it's very infuriating it's very frustrating so then a murder happens from a lady a lady dies in the same county Teresa Hallbach which is let me tell you something right now if you're a Hallbach and you're listening to this podcast I am so fucking sorry that happened it is inconceivable to me losing anyone in my family in that way okay so if you're listening you're a Hallbach I am so sorry my prayers are with you but they accuse obviously Sean what's his

name Steve Steve Avery yeah sorry Steve Avery who was the guy that I had just gotten out they got got out and it's a court it's basically he's being accused of murder it's basically a marriage of cereal and a little bit of the jinx since it has that like you know visual elements with like you can see it it's like cereal on steroids but the I feel as though the storyline is just so much more captivating it's the it's literally the best I'm gonna say this right now it's better than pretty much 99.9% of the things I've ever watched because what it was was it's one of those truly binge worthy shows where you cannot stop watching it you have to know and then what part Paul Shears said on his Twitter that it took a lot of strength not to look up you know I mean Google Steve Avery's

name you know or like don't even look up the verdict yeah don't even because it's a whole trial of two people yeah really it takes you through the trial of Steve Avery and another kid named Brandon Dassy which is his nephew so it him and I were still tempted to be like okay fuck it let's just you know Google it and see watch 10 hours or something and not Google it so that's why we watch the whole thing but which made it all the more just heartbreaking for us to watch the whole process but I will say there is what really inspired me were those two lawyers Dean Strang so his his Steve Avery's lawyers defense lawyers there are these two guys like so not even they're just simple dudes it looked like this guy named Jerry Beuding I think yeah and Dean Strang yeah

and they were just the best there hasn't been a tag a tag team like that very I haven't seen it like that's better than the WWE how long was this whole case or documentary shot it was over the the documentary was shot over a 10-year span damn yeah yeah and um it I'm gonna just say this it's gonna make you there's no way to watch it here's another thing that I asked Kalyla after watching it going are we missing something is there information out there that we're not aware of because what I've saw in this documentary was pretty much a lopsided a lopsided case it was to me it's a closed case in my opinion right the reason for me and Gilbert you can just like tune us out so that you don't we don't ruin it for you listening no don't why are you wearing

it tune us out first of all I just want to tell people that Gilbert's wearing Elvis Presley glasses aviators that I don't know why you're doing that it's not dark in here he he has um sinus congestion and his eyes are really sensitive to light right now because you're sick not sick he just has a head cold it's a head cold how was your holidays what was that how was the holidays how was your holidays oh yeah Christmas recap we didn't see you I know you just got back he just flew in tonight because I'm professional from Chicago because he's a professional so how was it it was good what happened family went to a chinese restaurant a yeah went open presence and a hotel and that was it that's really fancy and very unorthodox very unorthodox work especially for a Filipino but

did you guys go to mass that night before we did be nightmares okay yeah that's that's typical I want to ask you this um when you leave your fat flat face family because you have a flat face and you're around your flat places and stuff his sister doesn't have a flat face which one g g unit she's very pretty yeah yeah very pretty nice puppy g unit yeah um she doesn't have a flat face no not like Gilbert she doesn't have a wide face like Gilbert why yeah why do you look like a statue from the um Easter Island I think it's for my mom really yeah it's for my mom yeah I got my dad's butt my dad's ears my mom's facial structure and ariolo size cool you know sweetheart a thousand percent our children are going to have much flatter and wider faces than his why are you going to call

him flat face why what do you say that look at the width of my face I don't have a small face it's very large I have a big face and look at your face what I'm just fat it's extra extra large genetically I'm not I have a don't have a big face no sweetie you have a big ass face because even compared to your brother you're like twice the width I'm fat I eat donuts at late at night I know it's the it's I did this to myself you're like a four by four cinder block have you ever had a six pack how dare you he can't have like an I have wrestling team yeah I have sweetie when he was like two and a half no not when it was two and it was like rib bones it wasn't it wasn't abs you know what I just feel like a little attack here I'll just back up for a second I have had a six black back

six black yeah prove me wrong what prove me wrong I'll see this is her way of getting me to lose weight fuck you baby I'm gonna do what I do I'm 44 for I pretty I feel pretty good okay I'll also want everyone feels spectacular before a stroke all right um give me from one to ten star wars you saw it I'm gonna give it an eight and a half eight and a half eight and a half very good I put as a third best star wars that's like a B right the third one return to the Jedi Empire's return to the Jedi New Hope Empire Strikes Back and then this one right no I'm gonna go you like the Ewoks I think this is better than New Hope really I think so wow I think so I think it is it's it's all the same kind of yeah you know New Hope was the first one and um you have to put things

into their time period you can't watch a New Hope in 2015 eyes true you know people go well the level and undergone album the first one with Nico the banana one they got slow fi you know it's you know some some of the tuning is off but it depends it's what it did to the era like what it influenced you know what it meant in that time period so you got to see something new hope in 19 what 1977 yeah you got to see it in those eyes just to let you know fyi fyi okay hashtag hashtag okay we're already not going by the polyshore um rules and regulations why we've jumped around six different topics I'm done with listen how we moved on from making a murderer I can't we can't talk about making a murder anymore because of the fact that there's if we talk further we're gonna give

spoiler alert I know I have so much to say about it but we cannot talk about it until next week how about this yeah next week once you see you have to watch all 10 episodes this week okay can you hurry the fuck hurry the fuck up so we're gonna watch you watch all 10 and then next week we will get we'll dive deeper into it okay because there's a lot of aspects to me that I want to talk about we just can't for those of you haven't listened to it or watched it okay if you haven't watched Star Wars go fuck yourself we're talking about it do it yeah you were on the Doug Benson show I got in trouble and he got in trouble I gave a spoiler alert I didn't really though did you say the thing no what I said was Doug goes what what didn't you like about the movie I go at the

end I didn't say what it was I just said I just thought that chewy should have been more upset he should have don't you think he didn't even hug Leia I know that's a very good observation if you're let me say something I think we can just say it on this I'm gonna I'm gonna I feel like okay guys if you haven't watched it and you're one of those that gets your panties in a fucking bunch over spoilers turn it off now go watch that so that yeah so we don't fucking get hate tweets it's been two weeks yeah come on come on all right if you hang out with somebody for 50 fucking years doing what smuggling shooting lasers whatever they do they play that little chess game in the millennium yeah yeah they're soulmates they're best friends yes you see your friend being

gouged with a slight saver through the heart right Han Solo dies by the way and he gets thrown off you know and he falls he dies right does he fall he's dead okay he's dead okay and and then chewy goes whatever he does he gets angry he shoots a couple of you know I'm in stormtroopers or whatever yeah and then the next cut is him sitting down kind of looking a little sad bitch show some tears soul sister just died Han Solo just fucking died bitch but does a wookie have the same emotional capacity as a human okay well then I'm glad you said that that's the question I'm glad you said that okay because chewy gets more upset when he finds out the Han Solo they closed the door in half remember in half they closed it up and then C-3PO tells chewy that

they closed the doors and the ratio you know I mean the amount they're gonna die out there and then he makes a bigger cry sound you remember that yeah yeah you know yeah he was more upset at that yeah than the actual death here's another thing you know what's worse than that princess leah's fucking reaction after that bitch your son just killed his father and you ain't gonna cry bitch she didn't cry in fact she's looked crazy when you saw her her eyes were like weird like she was like up like a meth binge for three days but there was no sadness or anything here's my three behind all that what they all knew they all knew what they all knew that was supposed to happen Kylo Ren I think is undercover to become more to move on to the next level of sith so when he

looked at his father Han Solo and said dad I'm torn apart inside I know it has to be done will you help me and he looks at him and goes I'll do anything and boom stab I feel like they all kind of knew you think there's part it's part of a bigger plan leah is involved in at the very least okay here's my thing Gilbert that's a stop supreme okay let's suppose it's real at the very least suppose they already knew I'm so would it would it would it make it any less painful that the love of your life or Chewie's best friend or that somebody is still gone from you whether or not you knew or whether or not it was premeditated and whether or not they were all aware it's still a loss that is true so when someone dies you should just be and it's not just some fucking stormtrooper or a fucking sand

person okay no it's Han Solo and when I say sand person I mean al-qaeda okay ices ices what would it it's fucking Han Solo he's a legend right in fact when the black guy and the white girl where are their names Finn and it's Ray and Finn Ray and Finn right when they are you know in Han Solo's presence they're like oh my god you know yeah they're like starstruck he's a fucking legend not only that princess leah you fucked him had a child with him right I mean come on show some tears something something I need to see a wet wookie face I need to see some wetness on those cheeks yeah wet hair strands I want to see him blow dry his face because he was crying so much what were you guys overall ratings for the film I'm not done yet oh he's another problem

I had okay let me ask you this okay Finn says in the movie I was only I was raised to do only one thing right which means that he was raised under you know what are they called uh be a stormtrooper no but what are they called though they're called the first first order the first order yeah raised under the first order to come in his fan does to become a stormtrooper as a baby whether he was born within or he was stolen from his family regardless yeah he was young raised in this let me say something okay there was not one Nazi that said you know what I'll fuck Hitler I'm gonna do my own thing no you do you're gonna do what Hitler says and you know what you're not gonna do you release a prisoner I'm gonna I'm gonna release you so you're out of your fucking you thought it

was too much okay maybe he had a Schindler moment he's not Schindler Schindler wasn't a part of Nazi's regime Schindler was a businessman who happened to be a German okay he had he he wasn't a part of the politics or whatever he's not a storm he's not he's not you know he's not in the military what Bobby it I don't know how I understand your complaint is is that you don't switch 100 180 out of nowhere out of the blue for no with no explanation you're conditioned to do one thing regardless of but I feel like there will be an explanation in the next one well they're fucking better be he's a Jedi he's not a Jedi what if he was a sleeper cell who what you know what if he was raised so that he could you know retrieve all this information

for years and years and years about the first order and all of a sudden the sleeper cell you know turns him into a good guy and now he has to get the fuck out of there but he has this wealth of knowledge about the first order and can help the resistance yeah fight against them not only this this movie had more ages in it than the last six combined yep I'm down that's a great Ken Long's in it Ken Long's great I love Ken Long okay so you know now my rating I'm gonna tell you my rating I give it a 7.5 that's a C I give it a B that's a B that's I'll give it a B because regardless of all these things that I had a problem with I had a good time not only that would you would you care about what happens next and I absolutely do yes I want to

watch the next one and um here's another thing that I liked he really nailed the world he did he did he nailed the world he got it they did the most of the creatures in it look like Star Wars creatures most of them were in old school masks and whatever they you know not a lot of CGI and that some of the cga characters look weird mainly that what main bad guy what's his name the emperor the new emperor or whatever oh yeah that's that was the worst CGI I've ever seen in my life it was pretty shitty yeah yeah it was like kind of glowy and you could just tell that it was like it looks CGI didn't look good because he's not supposed to actually be there but he's a hologram okay all right yeah don't make a giant room just for a hologram right that was ridiculous you can

just put out your iPod yeah you know my iPad and it'll just pop up on a thing you know oh that makes sense he didn't have to be that large it's too big it's too yeah but anyway um it was a pretty good it was a joy to watch I loved it I did love it too and I just had a couple of things that's it you know valid valid things yeah just she just looks shitty Princess Leia she aged really bad that I don't want to say that because she's old I know how's dude I'm sorry but look at Han Solo but Han Solo looked like his face had melted off it looked like melted butter melted frosting I thought Princess Leia's skin was a lot more taut and and she had margo kid her eyes much better than Han Solo but so unfair Han Solo had no Han Solo look great he looked great if you ever make fun of Han Solo

again baby I fucking love Han Solo I love everything about Harrison Ford I just think that it's comparably speaking Princess Leia I heard a gasp when she first popped on the screen same here in my did you not in my theater you heard this that noise because I made that noise too yeah oh like it was like wow like lose some weight it's like you're here in the big you know you're going to be in the biggest movie of all time how is that even relevant so what she's I thought she looked great she's supposed to be around the same age as Han Solo right if we're just talking about skin turgor they're twins baby listen I mean no no no look into her Jesus Christ no Han Solo is way older than her first the worst one Mark Hamill hey man what you look old you thought he looked

bad let's rate everybody on just skin turgor the tightness and tautness of their skin between the three of them Princess Leia actually looked the best you look at Harrison Ford has jowls he literally has 16 necks on him Princess Leia at at at maybe she had three on her I think you guys are being way too critical just because you know for me you're full of shit maybe you're being defensive for no real fine she's she's beautiful I never thought Carrie Fisher was was like this great beauty to begin with but I always thought she was a great character and who cares her character was so great she never needed to be I thought she was hot back in there yeah she was okay you know but Princess Leia which is a badass yeah who cares about what she looks

like all right anyway anyway you know she was she's hot somebody on twitter um um brought up um a good question Bobby what is it um somebody asked why and when will your twitter be verified not twitter i'm sorry your instagram it's never gonna get verified the end and this is where I find a little bit odd I have a friend who is a soccer player he's a spanish soccer player but he now plays in an indian league in india yeah he literally has like four five thousand followers yeah and he's verified on instagram on instagram yeah i'm never gonna get verified how or why not it makes no sense it does make sense why because who am I bobby lee from matt tv it doesn't matter yeah it does listen look at look at what snooki snooki's got 8.4 million followers

obviously she's going to be verified but I don't know who this indian guys got four thousand I know I don't know who he is but my point is is that from the people that I have seen I've even looked at comedian friends of mine that aren't verified and some of them aren't and they're pretty big names I wonder what their criteria is for that I'm curious about it because I look at my friends and I'm like whoa I mean I think he's he used to play in the second tier not in La Liga but in the second Spanish tier he played maybe in in the top in La Liga maybe for like a year but now he plays in india and I looked at his shit and I'm like why does he have a check mark that's crazy can you do people can people call somebody go hey can I get verified yeah so I was like can you

apply for something like that yeah but I'm not doing that I feel like that's kind of gross if you have to do I'm not doing that yeah I'll do it why no I don't want I don't want to be verified I don't give a fuck I never thought about it I want you to be verified why because so I can say I know someone that's verified couldn't you say this though the guy the guy who put okay we talked about parks Korean barbecue on Vermont okay Jesus Christ so let's do a quick recap for somebody who doesn't know the actual story but here's the story Kalei and I go to what Kalei and I go to a restaurant called Parks it's a barbecue place it's not Korean barbecue place it's on Vermont and it's pretty popular like people really like it and um if you walk in there's photos frame photos

of celebrities Asian celebrities on it David Cho are and I are not on it okay and we we kid saying that we're not on it you know I mean I don't really give a fuck right we talked about it on I think like 10 episodes ago yeah pictures on the wall and some guy listened to our podcast you have his name I know only his Twitter yeah is um compliment pig at compliment pig walked into well he balls he did yeah with a frame photo of Kalei and I and somehow how did he nail it to the wall okay so this is how okay so first this is what I think he he he took a video of himself printing a photo of ours an Instagram photo of you and I and he took a video of himself walking walking past walking across the street into parks and then hanging it up all crooked on the wall

so then I thought to myself well okay he probably did that for two seconds and then took it down but then last week Bobby Charlie Steve and I we went to parks and that's when I sent you the picture Gilbert because I told Bobby is like we can't go in there because not only did that is it did he put it up but obviously the restaurant took notice and repositioned it but I I think they kept it but I think it's because out of guilt because he they know that we go there every week and I think they did it out of guilt to not take it down wait so you guys didn't eat there do you really believe that yes I don't think so I don't think so because it's not positioned in a way where you're like oh it's not the same it also looks nailed into the wall it looks nailed in now it's

the only one with like a colored printer fabric I know I just want to say to compliment pig it was Bobby who was sad about not being on the wall not me now my face is up there yeah I mean now we go in there it's weird and it's so like embarrassing that I sent somebody a ninja to go in there to put my fuck because that's how we know what the funniest part is about it is that in all the pictures of the celebrities the celebrities are standing next to the restaurant owner or a restaurant employee ours is just a portrait of us and it's in all the photos are in the restaurant like of them taking a photo in the restaurant her and I are in my house yeah you know I mean so it's like it looks really bad on me really weird and on yeah but I think that compliment pig is a fucking

genius that was a genius move if anybody he might actually win the contest that that we haven't even spa date spa date does he live in LA yeah he has to if he got the picture oh that's right he does yeah yeah yeah he definitely gets a spa date with me and you're going to that date we don't know you can't announce who the winner is yet we haven't known we're not we haven't done the contest yet but I'm look at me right now dude you and I are going to go into a fucking Korean spa get naked we're going to go in the steam room and steam it up together like brothers I'm down okay so the contest winner gets this okay so you guys get to meet up in the parking lot introduce yourselves Gilbert mounts a GoPro and on his ballsack the fuck and he videotapes the whole experience of you

guys just steaming it up all three of you talking having a conversation and then do we do a meal afterwards at bcd next door yeah we not well something nicer at parks no because you let me go to park look the winner it's they had they have to know that it's going to happen after midnight you don't go to the spa earlier than midnight yeah so it would have to be and sometimes I go no I sometimes I go during the day oh you do yeah all the time yeah but it's I think for the effect of like like for or to make sure that no one's really around and you can actually like go pro it how is it gonna go pro a fucking onto his dick let me just say something okay it's so fancy mounts these days it's so well lit there number one oh it's not like a dark no type of

situation number two there's just Korean men laying around tell them about that Korean guy last night that you were telling me oh my god so I go last night and I think I'm the only one there I steam it I take a shower and I go there's now if you go to the steam room but then there's like these glass doors into like where the locker room is or whatever and you walk in and there's these gigantic slabs off the ground that people lay on okay and there's a man laying there completely naked old Korean man and he has a note phone like it's a pretty big phone and he's laying on his back and he's listening to a preacher singing you hear God is good any glory of my heart or whatever it's full blast geez and I look at this Korean man's face and he's fucking crying what yeah he's

literally crying and I think that's how he gets people to go to church maybe like if I was Korean I see yeah I could say what are you doing oh I cried because of the Lord and then you get in a conversation yeah I don't know how to say any of those things and plus fuck him he's probably trying to like plant a seed through like like passive diffusion just you listening to you know the music of God also then you also went like when I went to you know that Korean place we go to a mall where there's like this bibimbap that I like you know what bibimbap is H mark no it's in a mall it's downstairs it's really good I was there one time by myself and these three old Korean ladies sat next to me up and she had that they had a Bible and they were telling me about

the Lord and whatever and they sat down at my table as if I didn't invite them but it would be rude and go what the fuck bitches you know I mean you can't say that yeah so I just kind of they do you go they go Hongkuk side of me oh which is are you Korean I go yeah and they go honey name Joe are you know do you like God or whatever I go nah right and then they started going into their pitch in English right and then I started talking about what about the crusades when they used to slaughter people and they have no idea what I'm talking about yep they only know is is that and every time I would say something they go no don't listen don't worry about that you know only worry about the Lord but what about the murderer and you know you know what just worry about you know

they wouldn't leave my fucking table three late old ladies so what's worse than and and even American evangelical is Korean evangelical they're the worst because they like the moonies do you remember them no you don't have to hurt the moonies no they were a Christian Korean cult movement that was an international thing they had millions and millions of followers I think they're still around but they're not as hot but back in the 70s was the most like cultish thing well they didn't do it like you know the branch Davidians did or anything like that but I don't know much about them but I just know that they were like really die hard you know I mean Christians Christian Koreans are still around I think there are like sex of it sex sex sex yes as each CT

sex sex but I don't think that that that original movement's still around but Koreans are fucking gung-ho we used to go to church my cousin Andy and Steve you know we got kicked out of church do you know why why Andy and I poured gasoline in the kitchen of the church the fuck we want to light it on fire whoa yeah okay I hated them arson arson and then we got caught we couldn't find we didn't have a lighter so just gasoline yeah because my dad had gasoline not in the trunk but in the back seat right so I took it out of there and we go let's let it on fire we're so stupid and we and we poured it and we didn't have a lighter thank god people could have died yeah you know I mean but you've got your hobbies as a kid you're really interesting oh I used to do evil shit I mean

you used to do real evil shit like I was so innocent in that way where like the worst things that I would do was like I would I would collect all like my dogs had ticks and when the ticks would suck up so much blood they'll be all fat so I'd get a magnifying glass and then put the tick under it until have the sun like like sear through its skin until it would pop so that tick would burst from whoa so like with magnifying glass like if the sun hits them I got so dark I got so dark no but that's not as bad as like like lighting a church on fire I'm just saying I was so bored I was like scorching ticks like that's like that's the extent of my fun or like I was like I would like collect seeds from outside and I would put them in people's ears while they were sleeping

oh but that's like the extent of it I'm not trying to actually burn like a like a if we were in the Star Wars universe you're definitely closer to the dark side you think so yeah that's not but I have a very pure heart I feel it's pure pure Anakin had a pure heart yeah what happened what happened I feel like I'm like I feel like I'm not somebody who can be like blindly faithful like I need I'm a skeptic I'm a life skeptic like I don't believe anything a hundred percent like there's not one thing I don't trust a hundred percent I don't there's nothing in this world that I feel is an absolute so there's I think that I'm too much of a skeptic to be like fully on one side like fully in the resistance or fully a part of the first order yeah I would be somewhere in

between I'd probably hop back back and forth I'd probably be a traitor like often go back I think what would you be I think I'm evil you think or do you want to be I want to be good but I think that I have evil tendencies you know what I mean I think you're like however and you want to be evil but you are good maybe yeah I think so and I think why how about this I tell you about what my brother super emo he's Bobby's email like what Steve what Steve and I did to my grandmother I tell you about that no so my grandma had a stroke so she's been in a stroke for 20 years and she lived in this like little house in Korea that it was the downtown Seoul and it was just like really congested but she had never left this house because she was paralyzed right she wouldn't

even go outside they they she just wanted to sit in this room and one day I was probably nine my brother was six my dad it was his mom my dad goes how come grandma have you know mock all over like she had welts on her body he bruises like bruises right oh you did yeah yeah and my brother and go and I go I don't know why I don't know right and then the next day he came in the house yeah and my brother was hitting my grandmother with sticks god man how she didn't feel like nine yeah and we get and she she would smile I remember that I feel like you know what though okay I'm just I feel I'm going to say something that's like that I'm that makes me cringe to this day and I'm like I feel really sick about it does it have anything to do with me yes it has to do

with you this is similar you were you were beat up by your parents right yeah and so I feel like that was just like a transference of like your own like frustrations like as a child like you got beat so you wanted to you were projecting like you were putting that onto somebody else because when I was molested when I was eight years old I felt sudden like like an urge like a sexual urge to do the same to either a pet a doll or a real person or a real child and you know what I hate to say it now but like my recollection of it I love you stop you want me to stop I think you're going to keep talking to Lila no this is interesting go ahead was that I took another cousin of mine I was eight and she was six and I walked tread sloths off like no I there's no I was eight years old

like what can I was your finger blasted her no but like I would I would have other things like touch her I would touch her with like I wouldn't like put anything up there but you know what I mean that's like there were things that I would probably did that were highly inappropriate for an eight-year-old yeah because it was being done to me yeah and I didn't I was so confused I didn't feel like my family knew about it or anyone that I felt protected well you you know what I was molested myself too and that's why you molested you and you're yeah okay I won't say it then 15 whatever what are you what are you what are you about to say that's why you did some weird ass okay sexual shit let me just say okay listen right now okay listen guys listen to me right now okay I don't

know what the fuck she's talking about all right I never molested anybody I was molested I've done some things that are suspect but not to anyone outside of my nucleus family sweetie there's absolutely zero molestation in a voluntary 69 if two if two people are blowing each other that's not molestation that's like sheer sexual bliss I don't even know what you're talking about first of all I can no longer talk about that because if we keep talking about it that one person that 69 with is gonna fucking murder me and then I learned because this is something that we talked about in San Diego and it slipped out of your tongue because you were I asked you was that the only like experience that you had and you're like no there was this other time and I was like okay

well okay because his excuses he was 11 years old when this happened and that he was on meth right and then he told me and the difference completely a different story with somebody who with a real like guy and I was like well how old are you I was like he's like I don't know 16 17 I was like Bobby you're gay or oh yeah we talked about that yeah yeah okay okay I want to say something to everyone right now okay how do we talk about this no no listen are we just repeating something I feel like we've already talked about this and we're repeating it this is the last time we talk about it yeah okay I just need to defend myself all right this is that and I'm going to be completely transparent and honest because I don't no longer want to talk about it anymore okay

if you were to ask me have you had gay experiences the answer would be yes have you had a gay experiences more than one time the answer would be yes yes have you had gay experiences more than 30 times the answer would be no oh so yeah all right so that's that okay in the books I feel you know how you you've always said that you always cried about oh it's because um when I was a teenager I never got laid you got laid a lot apparently but just not with girls okay baby um baby okay baby you never had trouble finding a partner all right here we go it was just dick a whole lot of dick khalil on fire khalil you're on fire right now I'm gonna say this you're being Kylo Ren all right and I want to say this again I do not deny these

allegations nor do they I own up to them I have done I'm going to and I swear to God on my parents live after the age of 16 no gay no gay okay before 16 so gay so gay so gay pretty gay pretty okay all right it is tied in with my alcoholism I really believe that okay because I got sober at 17 so your first orgasm is from a man all right now listen let's not get into a big revelation your first orgasm was in the mouth of a man we don't know that we don't know that for certain okay I you're not a forensic pathologist pathologist whatever okay so all I'm owning up to is I did some things I'm not happy about it I'm not proud of it it was five dudes yeah I think we established that in the previous episode okay it was five dudes

okay well you got a whole lot of fucking all right that's it I want to talk about ever again meet all right I want to work in Hollywood I do well you're better off as gay if you're in Hollywood I'm just saying I get a lot more work if you come out and I'm not I'm not gonna deny it I'm not you know I'm owning up to it all right I've sucked dick before a lot not a lot five what's your five what's your style how do you suck dick better than me why I don't even fucking remember why would you even ask she keeps pushing you you keep going along I know show me on Gilbert how you suck hey hey hey hey pull it out Gilbert let me see why am I pulling my pants down because I want to see the circumcisions hey the circumcisions yeah whatever it is it's not circumcisions yeah I want

to see the non circumcisions god let me see it all right here yeah baby okay okay I have a question for you I have a question for you it's my nearest resolution not to do this anymore babe I have a question for you on a scale of one to ten how would you grade your dick sucking wow that's sweetie I swear to fucking god I don't remember are you all mouth are you a combo hand in mouth we're doing low brow right now babe I we want to do high brow on this show now okay fine how was your fallatio on a scale of one to ten how would you rate your fallatio six six that's pretty good okay I was new because I've never seen it you know you when you're that age you've never seen porn back in the what was it the late 70s early 80s you know so it's like you just improvise no

porn up dot com you know so yeah blowjobs I don't think evolved to the to what we know blowjobs to be now yeah like at the 70s I it's you know people probably you know suck dick like they were cleaning a BMW like I feel like I'm gonna sick because you are sick no I'm not sick I'm getting sniffles or something it's a head cold if I get sniffles and a head cold because of you we're gonna have a very I want to talk about Miss Universe oh yeah how I made the worst prediction in the last podcast about how we were never gonna win oh yeah you did say that we're gonna win Philippines won you guys won yeah what do you think about all that sweetie do you have any opinions I know Gilbert does I saw the lady I never know because they all kind of look the same to me they do

do how do you feel about the whole pageant thing at this still I just find it stupid and also when they ask the question like what would you do to change the world or whatever whatever I was they don't know nothing yeah that's what I was saying like with these bullshit pageants right with what makes me saddest about it is that so many Filipinos like hang on to this idea of like you know like oh it's it's it's somebody that's she's Filipino and it's something to be so proud of and it's like no she she gave a very generic answer ask do all of them to a very generic question right and but then they didn't there were girls in that pageant like I I think one of the taglines for the girls was like she was a seven-time fencing champion who speaks five languages and

like works for UNICEF that bitch doesn't win the one who won is like oh you know so and so adopted a kitten named Lulu and likes to make quiche on Sundays like that's the bitch who wins that's the those are the girls who get into the top five because they have spectacular bodies and they're gorgeous and that Filipino girl is fucking stunning she really is and also how can you really judge without and I'm not trying to be crude without seeing their vaginas I fuck you body no no no just listen to what my point of view is before you chastise me okay if the Filipino girl showed her vagina and she had like you know me in the the abalone kind with the jazz handy kind that would deduct a couple of points you don't know who the judges are what they like in vaginas

first of all who are these judges well one was Nisi Nash the other one is Perez Hilton okay and like yeah obviously I need to see the real point me but I wanted to point out because like after you know obviously like on on facebook 95 percent of my friends are from the Philippines right or like family members and whatnot and it was just like constant there's barrage of posts about you know it was like a fucking internet war between Colombia and the Philippines and it's like dude you Colombian the Philippines are two poor countries that are pageant obsessed and no none of you motherfuckers are getting paid mm-hmm like there's it's it's like I want to tell Filipinos and I have with with utmost respect to this girl the Filipino girl who won what's her name Pia Pia

yeah she really is like a stunning girl she's poised she gives a good you know she's she's she's I guess a great bikini contestant right she had bouncy tits it was perfect but it's like pretty girls aren't our only aren't our greatest exports from the Philippines you know what you you know what your greatest export is the splash brothers your divers your divers are the best have you seen the splash brothers on youtube I saw it that's your best yeah but you know like all this like deliberation on it on facebook and it was like driving me crazy and it's like I understand why like Filipinos blindly rally behind any Filipino and like an international competition like we do we're very supportive yeah we're very supportive in that way like I feel that

but it's like we're desperate for any sign that shows us that we're worth it as a people but it's like dude guess what we've been worth it from the start like it's not going to come in a form of a fucking pageant queen you know like as a people we've always been known to be inherently hardworking so what are your assets tell me what would you would want Filipinos to do it's not all I want Filipinos to understand is this isn't we didn't win the lottery because we won miss universe like a pageant queen is not the answer to your strife what is the answer what is the answers then tell me what the answer is that this is for them this beauty queen this pageant is a distraction abandoned and it's like it's not a beacon of hope this isn't going to change anything about

the fact that our country is in absolute shambles I mean it's nice to be like wow that inspires us to do more but it's not it's an international fucking bikini contest that puts a whole lot of money in American pockets yeah but things like that you know I mean represent your country it's like I'm not trying to make a joke on a shallow level it it's promoting in some way it's like that that Filipino dude that is on journey yeah what are you saying what journey right the Filipino that's in journey are you alpinata yeah are you up a banana banana banana all right all right regardless of how what he's represented it's a good symbol here's a dude that's five foot two you know I mean he sings just as good as Steve Perry was his name and the story of them finding him

on youtube and stuff like that I think that that's a good representation of the Philippines the only reason why I feel like this isn't is because I'm not saying that any of these contestants don't have talents but at the end of the day something a contest where women strut around in bikinis it's just a fuck it's archaic it's dated and it's a little bit like it's it's it doesn't promote like progression and thought yeah it doesn't promote anything more than just shallow beauty yeah but when like okay I'm Korean okay and when sigh came out right with the you know whatever the video right Gangnam style Gangnam style and people would come up to me like sometimes they'll be at a comedy club and they go bobbling and they would put Gangnam style as my intro song

and then have to go run back there and go can you not do that but at the end of the day it's still good for my people right right it's promoting it it crosses borders you know white people know about it and I just think that what else are you gonna be known for then because exactly I just as a Filipino I want to be known for more than just a Miss Universe because what truly does she have what impact is she really going to make in our politics in how we're represented in the rest of the world sweetie Miss Universe is a mocked institution Donald Trump owned it for years this is something that's just it's fucking it's like it's no different to me than a fucking Hooters contest I know but the thing is is that people I don't know if you know this but the head of

cloning technology is in South Korea the reason why you don't know that is because no one's give us a shit right they know what they want to know about sigh and rain and these pop stars pop culture yeah pop culture regardless of what it is it's still promoting you know I mean your culture in a way that it would never be promoted before you know I mean so it's like I understand as long as there's like a good light you know I mean shot cast on Koreans you know like when Virginia tech happened and that Korean dude shut up the fucking school that's not a good thing you know and that's embarrassing and I don't want that you know me and I want to fucking when that happened I wanted to crawl into a hole because it's like I think my gripe with everything was the fact that it was

just for days on days on days like that's all any Filipino that I knew in the Philippines was posting on our Facebook and it was literally an internet war between two countries and it's like you guys like this really in the big scope of things has like no bearing on anything that's going on in the Philippines right now like zero it's like the Americans and Kardashians and you know why I know I know and there's you know there's there's I realize that there's a market for shallow things in this world but all I'm saying is that you also know it's a business you know why Columbia and Philippines were and Miss USA were in the top top three universe ratings there isn't one Filipino who didn't watch Miss Universe so there isn't and it's like you have they they target who

they know our pageant obsessed cultures like South America's pageant obsessed culture yeah so it's Asia right yeah and they know that the Philippines has been opining for years it's just we've been 42 years of drought when I'm not winning a crown so like we've been just like dreaming about this why does Steve Harvey do what he did I feel like it's a marketing like an absolute brilliant marketing scheme headlines and it's like who gave a who gave a way wait wait wait stop you guys think that that was an act I don't think Steve Harvey did it I think the production did it to him you think that they gave him the wrong name no they gave him the right names they just gave him shitty cards where he had to read it a certain way it was it was all if this didn't happen this wouldn't

even be a topic on our podcast so all I'm saying is that now everybody's talking about it it's a billion it's some it's a fucking multi-billion dollar industry pageants are so it's like this is the best thing that could have happened for both girls because if this didn't happen who would fucking remember miss columbia miss philippines and honestly Steve Harvey's getting a whole shit's on a press now the Philippines knows who Steve Harvey is before that they don't know who that guy is they don't want to tour there see what happens where in the Philippines yeah I think people generally know who you are because mad tv we're shown there oh maybe not so much as Steve Harvey show because it's a it was a black show yeah that's another thing I want to talk about is

is that what is it with when when they took that when finned off the poster of the chinese star wars we talked about promotions I know but why is that let's get deeper into why I can tell you in one fucking sentence do it straight up Asians and I I'm gonna stick by this and I I know this for a fact are the most racist people on this planet I would think Americans are fucking racist yeah I'm sorry you think that Caucasians are racist nothing beats Asians hands fucking down they're more quiet about it though they're just you know they're more low-key about it it's just like it's it's something that is you know yeah even me growing up in the Philippines right like Filipinos in general we're a little bit more tolerant of black people because we had a lot of

um you know we had a naval base there so we had a lot of like Americans and we you know we were more exposed to black people generally speaking right but my god even to this day like they see a black person they'll stop black color negro negro I hear it all the time yeah even to the same when I go back home I used to do a joke in my act about how Asians are racist and Asians got the joke but Americans never get it it's basically my dad as a kid gave me a list of the best races from the best to worst right so he's the number one Korean number two Chinese number three snake snake yeah number four Kakarot five Mexican you know I mean like and then the end of the joke is like my black friend goes well we're black people on the list and I said well the list only went up to 100

it's the joke right yeah but no one would ever laugh because they don't get that Asians are racist but but my I don't my dad did give me a list like that I don't it wasn't like that because I just kind of wrote into a joke but it was it's you know it's it's kind of out there like that you know and it's like I just feel it to be and I feel it to be like I feel as though that racism is so deeply embedded in your DNA that even though you're raised in like a very like multicultural city like LA there's still a little bit apart of Bobby and a little bit apart of my best friend Jessica just a little bit what about you me yeah I'm I'm a mixed breed I'm literally I'm everything so what you're saying that me and Jessica because you guys are Korean that we have we have a little bit of racism in

essence I think it's a lot more than little this is something I'm sitting up now his best friend is Eric Griffin I realized that I'm not saying that he thinks his friends are inferior his black friends are inferior to him I will say this I will say this okay and now I can argue with I will say that I'm classist more than racist I think so I think that's what it is I feel like Asians are there may be more classes than they are racist yeah I just don't like ignorant dumb people you know I mean that claim that they're you know that they're cultured and they're not you know I I have nothing bad against a race and also my classism I want to check it because I don't want to be like that because I'm aware that I'm like that sometimes it's like when I'm on the

street and a homeless guy walks super slow on the crosswalk I just want to run them over where I'm going to honk you know but it's like I don't but it's like this rage that comes up it's like come on dude you know I'm in but it's like I don't want to be like that it's an ugly it's an ugly way of looking at life and it bothers me here's one way to look at it so you're saying that people of a lower socioeconomic like tier than you less money maybe you know you know you're a classist right what about if everybody everybody that you knew this whole entire world was of abundance of money abundance of all their needs and everybody was just well to do and rich you'd hate it you'd absolutely hate it what and I wasn't no that we all were we all

had the ability and that we all had the same kinds of houses we all had the same education we all had the same amount of food on our plates we all had the same amount of money you're a classist right I walked into a plane once and I was going to the south or something and I walked onto a plane and there was they got kicked out of the airplane but these three white dudes right they were kind of southern dumb and they're god damn look at that Chinese guy they you can see it out loud them saying it right and they were going ching chong ching chong like that right I didn't say anything right I just walked by I mean I had rage in my heart I go you guys are fucking moron what are you talking about right and the stewardess walked up and said you guys have to leave the plane

because apparently they were doing it to Jewish people you know my point is is that they're racist but it's not because of the racism that I didn't like them because I love it when comics rip on me about my race you know what I mean I do it makes me laugh like you know me Eric Griffin rips on me and I enjoy it because it's out of love right it's not the racism it's the classism you know that comes out they're so ignorant right and they're just so dumb right they have no idea what I am who I am what I do it doesn't matter right they're just you know I mean they think they're being funny and they're just ignorant I don't like that yeah you know and it's like I have a question for you yeah so when you say you're a classist does it have to do with a

person's education level or their it's a company you know it's not about money necessarily it's about mentality it's like even some homeless people yes if you have a mental illness I feel bad for you you know I mean but if you're just a guy who's lazy and is mooching and would rather just you know I mean suck society you know and be a leech I don't like that and I I respond in a negative way when I when I'm confronted with that is that a character defect of mine maybe is it something that I need to work on maybe because it's an honest thing you know I you can also argue like here's why I feel like I'm a little bit classist this is because what to me there is nothing more annoying in this world than people who are second generation rich like there's this group of kids for instance

in China I think they I think it's called like four die yeah I don't know it's called like four die and these people these are kids of just super like mega millionaires in China and all they basically do is party and flaunt their money like on Instagram like they're very very like very outward with how they show their wealth right and it's not like they're making the money their parents made the money yeah so for me that is scumier much scumier than someone who is uneducated because they didn't have a choice or just cannot get out of that you know whatever tier of like socioeconomic tier that they're out of like because they just didn't have the opportunity right to me what's scumier is these are these kids who absolutely just they're wasteful they're they're like they

live such opulent lifestyles with zero regard for anybody but themselves and zero awareness of what else is happening in this world they just want to spend money and be flashy that to me is scum yeah and i'm a classist in that way okay and i'm am too need i have to i have to right let's just wrap it up in a little bowl okay we're the same babe okay do we have any internet questions well instead of unhelpful advice today we have new year's resolutions with bobby leon kalyla go ahead sir um i talked to kalyla the other day and i don't know if i'm going to quit smoking but i'm really i really want to have each attempted before no i have yes i mean sorry i have it's very difficult it's it's can i ask real quick yeah what was your reasoning for wanting to

cover attempting the last time i couldn't breathe okay it's a good fucking reason bobby yeah holy shit and um and yeah now it's like you know i can feel when i'm walking any great distance upstairs or you know i i just feel like it's tough i can do it we went to the gym a couple weeks ago i can do the treadmill but and i and i run i try to run in front of her to show off nice yes i seriously thought he was gonna die yeah but i thought i was gonna die two minutes and he looked just pale yeah so i mean those are things that you see that um i just don't want to die and um so i i'm not gonna say that i'm quitting but i really believe that i'm heading toward that direction so that's the first thing okay hold on i have a question for you we talked about this

last night what is why is it so hard for you to quit like what is your your connection to cigarettes more than just a physical addiction it's um well i told you that um it's you know people know that i'm sober i've been sober for 14 years and you know so that's it's like literally my last vice you know it's the last thing that you know i mean that i could hold on to and it's so ingrained into to stand up and show business in the sense that like it's what i do before sets when i panic it's what i do to socialize after shows to hang out with my friends and it's just a part of the routine and um you know because i still get really anxious before auditions and performing i don't get nervous you know but it's like it's just a way to cope with the energy and the you know especially

because you're a guy who is not comfortable with dead space yeah he always needs to either be on a gadget or he needs to his his hands always have to be occupied right so for you i feel like quitting has been harder because it's like what do you do in that time of dead space you know what do you do before or what is your you use cigarettes as a coping mechanism for your anxiety for for your social awkwardness for a lot of things so you fill in those little gaps with your cigarette smoking and somehow it eases whatever tension and anxiety or whatever so you have to find what i think is going to be the trickiest is finding things to do or a replacement a healthy replacement instead of cigarettes for that anxiety yeah because it is very much you know a part of

of like your ritual in the morning even your you love to have your red bull on the porch and smoke a cigarette that's your alone time i just love it i like waking up having it's also after meals is another thing that i just there's nothing better than a cigarette after a meal for some reason you know um that's the number one thing number two i'm on day seven now of not masturbating and i'm and i slip up sometimes but i really want to keep at this celibacy because i'm not down with that no not celibacy in terms of not watching pornography like forever and no i mean i don't think that it should be a part of my life at all all because it i have an addictive personality obviously and also i just once i jerk off i

just jerk off every day all the time and it's like when i don't it feels better i have more energy you know and um i also want to desire kalayla do you feel do you feel as though when you watch porn that you mean be honest yeah i know i'm being honest yeah yeah you desire me i mean this is the longest relationship i've ever been in they've all gone they've always gone to two years and what happens is and i'm being you know self-anal not analytical but just looking at my life in an honest way yeah reflecting on it i'm reflecting on it is is and whenever a two-year mark happens in a relationship for some reason i start going to strip clubs and i start watching a massive amount of porn and i stop having sex

with my mate which then the other problems arise and then i find a way to get out and then i'm out okay yeah with this relationship i really want to stay in i'm in love with kalayla uh i know that it is the best relationship i'll ever be in she's perfect okay so i have to do extra steps i feel to keep it going and one of those things is i think not watching pornography here here's what i want to say that i feel before we enter the new year is that to make to be clear with you yeah just because we we don't last doesn't mean this wasn't successful don't say that no i'm i'm i'm being real like yeah i wanted to last with you what are you like crying for i'm not crying i'm not crying i can't see i want to be clear with you yeah

yeah you said that after two years you have you almost you're like an escapist it's like you have this like escapist type of like um um type of personality where you almost self sabotage right yeah like you you want out so you start falling back into the habits that you know are going to hurt a relationship right because you want out yeah i don't want out i know and i'm not saying that you want out bobby but i'm saying look you and i have a podcast we share a great life together we honestly are you're one of my best friends on it right yeah i i hate this idea that it has to be forever or it's not successful yeah and i just want to say if we spend three years together if we spend five years together the rest of our lives together if it ends tomorrow i will honestly

in my heart i will truly believe that this was a success and i feel the same way there was a friendship here we have a friendship we talk every day but i'm not going to watch porn you know i mean so that's that all right so that's my new year's resolution you go ahead gilby nice oh clever no you go gilby you go and then call i'll end i want i actually fuck the new year's resolutions i want to know your goals for next year as a struggling artist i want to know what you want accomplished next year yeah 2016 this is the year mm-hmm i book a serious regular role i feel it you feel it in your bones i believe in you i really feel that's it pilot season's coming up series regular role and i want a six pack i don't know why i can help you

you're gonna get a serious regular role and a six black i think so and a six black six black oh and and i will try i will try my best to date an asian girl let me ask you this my friend if you get a serious regular role on a tv show and bobby doesn't you're fine no no no would you quit this podcast no i enjoy this i've heard a lot on this part let me ask you this okay if you had to choose you would choose the show obviously right yes yes but um if you're if your life gets extremely busy you're still going to stay in the podcast i think so i'm being honest i'm being honest i want to be honest with you i'll be honest with you i'll be honest with you i'm being serious i'm gonna leave us babe no matter what yeah i'm not

you're a deserter you're a fucking deserter you're a fucking bull burgdoll all right if you fucking leave because your life gets a little fucking busy i will rip you i'll rip your butthole apart i will treat you like i did to men before i was 16 okay i have a question for the both of you yeah um what if you guys um end up in the same audition room for the same role that you both really like as a series regular that would never happen would you know oh 100 percent happen are you are you are you're fine i'll just would see you you will be yeah can i admit that i've never been in an audition with asian guys he always black guys oh good luck you are gonna be in the same room as bobby if you're gonna do network pilot auditions you will be in the same

room as me i don't think they um they think i'm asian i really don't think they think you will what the fuck else do you look like ylbert watch watch what i do and i'm what i would love to do i want to tell you something right now all right i do mental games with the other people in the fucking that's auditioning against me i do it too we'll see he does we shall see we shall see we're not going for the same roles yeah we are you go straight to network i have to go to the fucking process i'm john but yeah i have to go through the fucking three in the network audition right i will see you there and you are gonna go against something let me say this okay i'm gonna say this out loud if you beat me out of a network show you know i mean i will still do the podcast

with you i will do it too you fucking better i will and if you beat me out of a fucking role and you say this on the podcast and you kind of brag and you try to make me look a fool i will get you and i'll galgerize that okay yeah and i'm gonna expose you he's gonna tell all the network people that you're not circumcised you have a lot of schmagma oh yeah hey don't do that yeah yeah yeah he has a really weird looking penis trust me you don't want to cast him yeah yeah yeah i'm gonna do all that okay baby what's yours my new year's resolution my biggest one is oh it's gonna sound so sappy but i feel like i've reflected in a lot in the last four days since we haven't seen the sun in four days and i don't know where and when i lost like my sense

of self-belief like somewhere down the road like i grew up with a lot of kids i felt who are like especially in the philippines they're all successful now extremely successful they're like furniture designers they're like you know like international big shots right and growing up i always felt where i always i was always told and expected i was everyone thought i would be so much greater than i am now you are great and all i really felt all i felt that i've accomplished in this life is a big bag of trivia information i have a lot of like knowledge and little tidbits about the world that i haven't quite applied myself and i feel like i'm sorry is any of those people on tiger belly yeah are they they're not i feel like in my 20s i did a whole i i fell into this

like deep hole of just self-doubt and i feel like 2016 i want to be healthier and i want to rid myself of all the self-doubt i've accumulated in the last 10 years and i i'm not about resolutions i should start this tomorrow because i feel like it's hindering all aspects of my life what we'll do tomorrow is wake up earlier instead not at 4 p.m so do we have to sleep at a reasonable hour wake up earlier and take googie to the vet okay 1 p.m that's a good 1 p.m is a good goal okay and i'm going to be performing at the comedy store in hollywood for new years it's the first time for 12 years i've played the hollywood comedy store for new years and then um what's my next road date um your next road date is i got the dates wrong on the last podcast um bobby is going to be in

edmonton um january 7 through 9 come to the club in edmonton canada if you're in canada come to the show because i get really lonely in that mall and i really no seriously i get really lonely in the mall and i don't have a lot of no friends over there and i like talking to people and stuff okay i also need rides because i because my hotel room is in the mall i just stay in that mall the whole time so i really need friendships so come to see me he wants to forge like real meaningful friendships in canada um and after that the week and after that you are in irvine i believe anyone in orange county yeah gilbert you're doing it right yep okay and then um my also this year i'm going to get you in the next week i'm going to after the after the new year i'm going to get

to a commercial agent yes i think it's time gilbert it's time you're 26 things got to get moving for you buddy yeah and um your face is only going to get wider and flatter yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah anyway so it's really good i know we this podcast let's end on the good notes i love you last one of the this is our last one of 2015 yeah it's our last one for 2015 i feel like we did a terrible job today yeah you didn't like it no i love it oh okay you didn't like it it's okay every time you say you don't like the thing that she says that all the comments say this is the best one yet yeah every time you say you don't like it and then you know i mean and then later you go oh i liked it why didn't you like it i know i said about that the vagina for the miss universe yeah you

just say some fucking like dumb ass like anti-woman shouldn't it gets me it's not anti-woman for me i just want to say that i really it's a part of the woman's body and i think she'd be a part of it okay we're ending on about two thousand i love how it goes let's add on a happy note Bobby can i just read one email um question real quick yeah go ahead do it is it negative no no no but it has to do with um um it's right in line with like making a murderer um and um so yeah like you guys have to watch it it's the best thing ever you have to watch it you are unhelpful advice boys Gilbert unhelpful advice with bobby lee a collago okay this question is from mckenzie she says hello k g and b where the k g v my boyfriend

and i have recently considered acquiring a pen pal of the prison variety i work in the court system currently in defense work and have a really emphatic view of defendants i don't i think i don't know if she she puts i think it's empathetic empathetic view of defendants would you ever consider writing an inmate yourselves i feel like we should choose an inmate and us you me and Gilbert should we should have a pen pal when i was on mad tv i had the most prison letters out of all the cast members combined why i don't know why from dudes or women from dudes from prison Mexican dudes well i stopped reading them because they got really weird they probably thought you were gay and they wanted your little bum bum the last one i read it was like i love your

Asian body you said that right i you know i have life you know i have a life term i love watching you and all that shit his name was dug baby shoes wilson baby shoes yeah in my head no baby shoes in my head i thought he fucking killed babies oh no or whatever you know what i mean and after that i said i'm done with it so we're not i actually like imagine imagine if we actually found a pen pal like steven avery and we were able to like help him out of his injustice i really want to help him i really want to help his nephew too what's his name um brendan das brendan dassey that means this documentary in end well oh i blew it for you oh fuck i thought it all happened it was all happy no i mean it didn't not end well it did not and it did end well but i want to help them interesting how

do you know how we're gonna help them how do you know it's just not to give money yeah interesting anyway so you having a pen pal from prison is out of the question for you i have i have a friend who works at fulsom yeah i can ask him like hey who do you think when which of these guys you think is innocent and we can be like he can be like our tiger belly at prison mate the thing is is for me i have to know i have to study his case files why don't we have to know i have to know if they're innocent or not because if i'm writing to somebody like hi baby shoes baby shoes baby shoes how is it you know i mean and he's like i'm innocent of the other crimes and then like so you're black eyed boys yeah and then years later i look online i read an article where he did really kill babies

and kept the shoes then i'm gonna be like why did i write them you know i mean so it's like i have to know so i for me it's like i don't want to do all the work why don't we just write a letter to my uncle in the philippines which one though the one that newly released i will do him the one that threatened you yeah i just sent him money for christmas you know have a happy 2016 everybody i love you so much happy new year i love you guys so much thanks for listening make sure you follow tiger belly and instagram and on twitter and check out our website www.thetigerbelly.com and one final thing kalayla robby lawlor or carlos condant um i think that i haven't given enough credit to robby lawlor over the years because i i used to really i don't know what it was about him

i used to really dislike him when he used to be part of um team militich and um i don't know when he was at pat militich i just there was something about him that i found to be like unlikable but after um ufc 189 and watching him against um rory mcdonald he's just this is a guy who's been in the game for almost 20 years right yeah something like since he was 17 right and he is the champ so kudos to robby lawlor for staying in that long and having like a second coming in mma but carlos condant uh is one of my top three favorite fighters of all time so this saturday ufc 195 the winner is carlos condant there you have it guys see you guys next time okay

hey prime members you can listen to tiger barely adfree on amazon music download the amazon music app today or you can listen adfree with wondery plus in apple podcast before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey